#their new password sharing thing is bullshit

[bethhiraeth]

fuck personality tests, who have you got set for your Netflix profile pic?

[twsted-princess]

A Dilemma

To celebrate one hundred ships with my main girl, really I wanna thank all my friends for tolerating my bullshit and making many of my favorite memories. Y'all are the best.

Tagging: @shinsen-haruki @fumikomiyasaki @terrovaniadorm @rookvonhunt @thetwstwildcard @sakuramidnight15 @vivaresmala @silent-dragon @multydoodles @ellovett @the27th @hades-eternal @forestwispocs @hey-its-cweepy @fullplaidponydreamer @vale-ocs-roleplay @oseathepebble @another-twisted-wonderland-fan @sparrow-20 @windbornearchon @starry-night-rose and @wanou-dorm

This is bad. This is really, really bad. Melanie stared up at her ceiling, there was a small hole that needed fixing but that wasn't on her mind. She couldn't sleep. Not with her brain racing in every direction. The thoughts in her head were clear as day as she listened to Grim snore. Rolling over to her side, stuffed toy in hand she reached for her phone. Patting around until she found it and turned it on while laying back in her original spot. Her fingers typed the password and headed to the text button, then immediately tapped on her group chat. The one she shared with her closest friends. She quickly sent a message, most of them are sleeping so they probably won't see it but it was important. 'Could we meet up after school tomorrow? There's something I need to say.' Mel then turned her phone off, placing it aside and closed her eyes. Hoping to get at least some sleep in before what might happen tomorrow.

The phone went off a few times for the rest of the night as she slept not as well as she'd like. Soon it was morning, the usual routine. Get ready for school, do some chores, get whatever work Crowley's needs done, then classes followed by more work and then lunch. Lastly more classes until the final bell rings. She got up from her seat as Kirsten walked over to her. "Ya ready?" She asked as the brunette collected her things, Mel nodded and the two were off. Louise poked his head out from the chest pocket to see Melanie. He was concerned, he knew she had something on her mind but he didn't want to pry. But she seemed happy talking to Kirsten about whatever was on their minds as they walked down the hall. Keres saw the two and waved them down as they stood around with the rest of the crew. The girls headed over to the small crowd before Melanie gestured for them to follow her. "So what's the big rush Mellomar?" Keres asked as they headed out into the front courtyard and down the path to the Ramshackle. "I'll explain but....it's important." Melanie smiled weakly and the gang followed.

At the dorm the group sat down on the squeaky not super comfortable couch and chairs with Carol grabbing drinks from the fridge so that they can quench their thirst. Melanie sat in her chair, holding the lemon lime soda can as Keres was the first to speak up. "Sooooooooo you gonna tell? We won't judge." they smiled at the princess who patted her leg with her hand, fighting the creeping thoughts in her head. "Well...........um..........." She couldn't even look at her friends and Louise stared up at her. "Your highness it's ok." He watched her brows furrow before nodding. Taking a breath she squeaked out a simple phrase. "I think I'm in love." Louise gasped as the gang stared at her in shock, turning than into joy. "Congratulations!!!" Melody squealed as she clasped her hands together while Nyphy shot her a thumbs up. Keres and Kirsten shared a smirk as the Idia's right hand woman spoke up "About fucking time." Carol grinned as Louise stood there in awe. She's in love???? Well......this is new!!! But he gave Melanie a big grin and went off "Who is it? They ought to be a good pick!!" She then looked away, twirling two fingers around with her cheeks turning pink. "There's.........a problem with that." The group then looked confused as she muttered "I like............a lot of people." Carol looked to the group before gazing back at Melanie. "It means you just have a big heart, but I am curious of exactly who you fell for."

The gang listened in as she recounted her recounting her tales. There was one with a naga girl that lives in the Ramshackle that she's known for a while, another with a carny bear guy from Savanaclaw. Carol was the first to know that folks the princess fell for. Fabio, the rabbit beastman and one of her students. He was a sweet guy, the perfect candidate really. Then she heard Kumo's name. Sure he was a thief but he treats the both of them with respect so she guessed he wasn't too bad. Then came Fennec, another decent guy who would treat Mel right even if he's a wanderer. But then....Tyler. She frowned at the thought of him being with her best friend. Hate.......is a strong word but she thought he was a real ass. But he seemed to be good around Mel so she bit her tongue and sipped her soda. More stories flowed as the princess gushed about a fox boy from that Wanou dorm Leroy keeps visiting.

More stories poured in from Melanie as she talked about even more folks she's experienced. From the sleepy first frog loving boy from Sombraj and another Savanaclaw student, this one was a female hunter. Nyphy was paying attention but she couldn't help but look at the clock. She wasn't gonna take long right? Granted none of them really had something planned but as Melody and Carol asked more questions she could feel herself doze off. Then she heard Eric's name. She knew him....sort of. He's a vice leader at Hourglass Station and she knew they've been penpals as Mel had shown her a letter from him. So she got the hots for him? She thought about it before smiling to herself, Eric's bro's gonna have a field day with that knowledge. Reagan was also not totally paying attention but she enjoyed listening to the others cheer her on. Darcy then came up and she blinked. He's that Scarabia tutor, weirdo but not a bad guy she guessed. Melody herself was cheery as can be. Cooing over her friend's crushes and pushing her to spill more of the tea. With a warm smile she listen to the stories seeing Mel blush and get flustered. She heard a familiar boy with a penchant for flirting and gardening, that had to be Sylvain. He's a great guy!! Then she heard another HSA student who tends to hoverboard! Oh that would be Saphira! Another great pick! But then Mel mentioned two folks at once, well of course she knew a sleepy man with a son and a moth mom any day of the week. Daido and Amalya, both wonderful choices!!

Lacie yawned, stretching her arms to the sky and drudging down the hall. Trying to talk to demons sure can knock you out. She rubbed the hour long nap sleep from her eyes as she headed down the hall, what she needed was food. Maybe some mango or berries, anything sweet. But as her sliper clad feet guided her to the treasure trove of sugar she could hear giggles and someone talking. She knew who it was, her dorm leader but when she peeked around the corner she wasn't expecting people over. Or even what the blue eyed senorita was talking about. Crushes.....oh well. Gossip is gossip and Lacie was interested. She leaned against the wall out of sight as she listened in. Mel was gushing about this pretty girl with a beautiful singing voice in Pomefiore until she heard someone familar.

A tough lion girl from Savanaclaw and an ice cold siren from Octavinelle. Kiara and Veil, she shouldn't be that surprised. Then it was also the brooding beauty from Ignihyde who wanted to punch Idia, she chuckled to herself knowing it was Isidoros. The rest she all knew very well too. Lovette Diasomnia's vixen, Scarabia's forlorn mother Nasira, Octavinelle's chill son of the sea Nerus, the wolf of Arachninox Jinrou, Crowley's own son Erza, and especially the knightly feline Catherine with her pesudo boyfriend the friendly dragon Jasper. She smirked to herself seeing her friend get this red but her sly enjoyment turned to surprise when she talked about Pyxis. So she's got a thing for the masked man? Well this is exciting but before she could leave.......she heard her own name leave Melanie's lips. Oh.....oh wow. She felt her own face grow very warm as she heard her best friend talk about how she really had feelings for her.......and also Lyre. Well......this is....a lot. Lacie then quickly rushed back to her room, this needs some processing.

Maequlie smiled as the gang talked. It had been a while now but the conversation seemed to flow on. She watched as Louise chirped in here and there as Melanie talked about her loves, he looked happy but she could tell he was a little concerned over certain names coming up. Carol, Keres, Orion and Melody were still chatting but Nyphy had curled up in her chair scrolling through her phone and Kirsten had gone up to pace around the dorm. The jester grinned before taking a sip of her water as she listened to more tales. About a gentlemenly bat man, a dramatic fae, a sly incubus and a sake loving demon from another school. She chuckled to herself as her friend then spoke about someone she had an inkling of a vindication. Buka, the demon from Terrovania. She's seen them lingering around her before so it seems to be mutual. Then another Terrovania, stoic giants Deidra and Naya came from Mel's lips. So there was a type if it hadn't been obvious already. After some gushing there was more where that came from. The tough wolfman Eduardo, crafty Benedict, sly Hassan, the quiet Tahanii, and princely Yuu-Mun. All were nice, although Maequlie was giggling to herself. This'll be a fun show.

Orion blinked, then blinked again. They've been here for like........an hour? Hour and a half? Time seem to be an enigma as she slouched back in her spot on the couch. There was a smile on her face sure but really at this point it was out of bewilderment. How the hell did she not notice Mel was crushing on this many fucking people? And she was still going? It was almost amazing she hadn't been caught yet. She talked about a fox queen from Diasomnia, a flowery wizard from RSA, the less douchey half of a set of twins at Pomefiore, another fox girl, and owl girl and then two fucking demons???? The sea deity listened on baffled over what she was hearing until she heard someone really familiar. Shima and Mika????? Daido's brother and clone???? "You gotta be shitting me....." Orion grumbled before Melanie looked over to them slightly worried. "Is....there something wrong?" she asked but the starry face teen shook her head.

"Nah you're good, it's nothing." Mel watched with a concerned glance as Orion chugged down the last of her cola before getting up to grab another. The table was already covered in soda cans and a large bag of chips as the princess continued with Melody's encouragement. As Orion took another cola out she was listening as Jacob was brought up. Jacob, Jacob............oh yeah that rich nerd's brother. They've gotten into fist fights before, hits like a motherfucker. But as she took a sip she heard a name. MINNIE??????? AND KALA?????? The group looked over to see Orion spit her drink out and look back wide-eyed. "YA MEAN THOSE TWO MONSTERS TRYNA KILL EACH OTHER!!?!?!!?!?!?!?" Melanie looked in shock as Carol rubbed her temple. "We can clean that later...." Orion ignored the mess as she rushed back, climbing over the couch and looked at Melanie dead in the eyes. "Please tell me there's more." she said seriously, leaning forward causing Melanie to shy away not looking them in the eye. "Well......" She then went on to talk about Ajax and Galland the rival dorm leaders of Cybernetta. Those two........well one's nice and she's surprised that Mel's still alive from talking to the other. Then it was.......Roya and Namor. More Gracery folks. "Mel I'm gonna be honest, you're either the bravest or the dumbest bitch I've ever met.....and I'm friends with Melody."

As Melody called out her sister from another mister Keres smiled. They were just as baffled as everyone else. God it was a fucking roller coaster and it's still going. The chip bag was almost empty, there was like two cookie sleeves open and more bottles of water and soda pop. Carol had joined the squad of Nyphy and Reagan in not really paying attention but listening in but everything's fine. Everything is dandy and all is good in the world. Mel continued on and they of course knew people. The little princely Adam from Terrovania, grumpy Midge from Tetravania and the overly cheerful (and slightly feral) Marinus from Octavinelle. But then they perked up at the name Bora. Oh Bobo!! They're buddies with him! He's a great coworker and a super sweet guy!! They leaned in for more info on him and Mel provided but then there was Lee. She's an RSA dorm leader, they didn't know her super well but from when Mel's saying she seemed like a nice lady. Then of course, there was more. A mega grump but sweet dude named Kevin was next and they were interested until.......Florence came up.

A frown came over Keres's face and they barely held back a scoff. "What's wrong?" Melanie asked concerned but Keres shook her head. "Nothing. I just don't like him is all." Granted he was a good guy but him being a nurse gave them the heebie-jeebies. But they let her talk before moving the topic to.....another eyebrow-raiser. Sue.......the trashtalking, rabble rousing "Look at me funny and I'll rip your arm off" dorm leader-ish of Terriauria. Ok.......? They could sorta guess their friend has a thing but even Louise was surprised. He did grimace when Kala and Minnie were mentioned, likely bad experiences. Of course they didn't really wanna push him but Mel did share a look of "we can talk later" with the mouse. But then more drama. Macros..........that kinda sneaky but weirdly charming guy from RSA.......alrighty then. He was......odd, but kinda hot so Keres didn't judge until................"ACHILLES?!?!?!?!!?" Keres screamed, jumping onto their feet. Oh no. No. No no. No no no no no no no no no no no!!! Not that assface!! Melanie squeaked, almost jumping back at Keres. "B- But he....." the perfect tried to calm them down but Keres looked confused, insulted and more or less bewildered. "He's tried to kill me. Multiple times." Mel started sweating until Keres sighed. "You really are a piece of work Mellomar." they said before sitting back down and chugged their soda down.

Kirsten sat there, absorbing the chaos and chatter. Great. Awesome. She now has all the backmail material she could ever hope for. Mel really didn't have to open her mouth but she did and now she has consequences. Kirsten loved her friend, she really did. But man this is the worst thing she could possibly do. She was zoning in and out the whole time. Occasionally piping in with a comment about one of Mel's crush or just getting up to walk around cause holy fucking shit it's been two damn hours and she's still talking about boys. Upon getting back from her fourth walk around she sat back down as Keres lost their shit over Melanie finding the guy who takes skulls as trophies cute. Honestly he was kinda hot but eh whatever. As she grabbed the cookie sleeve, taking a couple out and watching the chaos unfold it slowly winded back down. Mel then stopped looking at her friends worried "Should...I stop talking?" she asked as Carol looked to everyone. "If you want to that's fine." Keres nodded in agreement as Orion got up to stretch but Kirsten looked at Melanie. "That's not everyone right?" The princess gulped, she was caught. "There can't be more......" Nyphy sighed with everyone now glancing over at Mel. "Go on, you dug this grave. You're laying in it." Kirsten was serious as Mel trembled. "O-Ok....."

She went for hopefully the last time. And the first one was already caused an uproar. "Kierron!?!?!?" The group aside from Kirsten shouted. The leader of Kombatra?!?!? The guy who hosts a yearly blood sport?!?!!? Melanie looked away thoroughly embarrassed, she couldn't really explain herself here. But wait! There's more! Some were decent options. Guys like Erza, Brick, Vladimir, Citron, Celadon, Ferdinand, and Michi were respectable. Octavius, Tobias, Misha, Philip, Maurice, Dusk, Midas and Jupiter were all nice guys and Louise was extremely excited hearing Jirou's one of her interests. But then there.......questionable fellows. Folks like Johan, Fraiser, Kakia, Song Fenhua, and Mars. Then Ruben, Derrick, Solomon, A'rachk, Emile, and Lucifer.........not awful but they certainly have issues. Kirsten was enjoying this, partly in a sadistic way seeing Melanie squirm but she couldn't help but sigh. Mel's got a bleeding heart that's for sure, this couldn't get worse. Oh how wrong she was. Candice. Miko. Micah. Arsene. Cervos. The spectral girl watched as one by one the group lost it. Then she slowly rose, walking over to Melanie who squirmed back. "Uuuuuu-" She was then punched straight to the tit. "You're a fucking dumbass."

Johan watched from above, his presence unseen by the girls as Louise ranted and raved and Kirsten just stood there in an angry huff. Melanie, the one who confessed her feelings for him embarrassed and apologizing for wasting her friend's time while nursing herself pained chest. Odd girl. But a charming one at that.

[voiddemon]

New post. Sorry I'm still going on about this. Heres the drama everyone's been vagueing about.

TLDR: Opal is still talked about NSFW stuff with minors present, but whoever the fuck Mtthrw is needs to come out. The original doc was taken down by Google.

Opal Owl Flight, in a server made by Blue Jester, started a "magolor cult" which devolved into talking about and posting NSFW stuff about Magolor. In this chat Minors could freely access it as well as interact with it. Opal also interacted with some of them, and encouraged a minor who was drawing (what is implied to be in the google doc) NSFW art of Magolor. Honestly while some of the worst stuff in this doc isn't set in stone, theres a lot of shit that just shouldn't have happened. Basically ERPing with someone else in a public chat and talking about kinks in front of children is beyond irresponsible. Opal also answered suggestive asks on their blog from minors without properly checking their ages. When they made their new blog it was easy to find and not password protected/hidden from searches in any way, which credit to Opal was fixed. Blue Jester did try to reign stuff in their server in at first, but eventually just decided to let it keep happening and engage with it mildly. From what I've seen, neither are denying that what happened in the discord server is true. I still do have access to screenshots, but I wont be sharing them unless someone needs them. And if I do names will be scrubbed.

Opal hasn't taken public responsibility yet for their actions. I don't think Opal was intentionally trying to groom people, but talking about and sharing NSFW content with minors present isn't ok. Blue Jester hasn't taken responsibility for not stopping this behavior in their server. As the owner of it they're somewhat responsible for what goes on, and protecting the users of it.

We know all of this because Mtthrw made a big 242 page long google doc calling all of this out. Posting screenshots without the name of any minor censored or anything. This document got sent to Deafeninggardner through, apparently, just an anon, and they started to spread this around. Currently, it is taken down, by Google. Likely through a request made by someone.

I know this is the case as I deleted a doc of mine, and this message didn't show up. Honestly good on whoever reported this and got it taken down so fast.

In this doc the author makes comments like "^ i have the feeling that in some of these screenshots there were people deleting their messages after saying reprehensible things". Every screenshot was also taken- at the earliest- one week in advance. The Mtthrw blog itself has only had activity since this Tuesday, so this was a long time coming. Some stuff in this document was taken out of context. No channel names are posted, it's not clarified if images are spoiled. Nothing. They also threw a wide net of guilt over people barely involved or unknowledgeable on the situation, which is complete bullshit.

If everyone I've spoken to is being honest, they're all incredibly irresponsible for spreading this doc around in Dms to people. Whoever is behind this is either a bit of a malicious actor or didn't think about their actions in the slightest and how it would affect people who are victims here. I'm personally at fault for jumping the gun. I'm disappointed in everyone who stirred the pot but didn't spill. Especially since those who stirred the pot had loud voices in this community but stayed silent.

If anyone needs any info or has anything to share, message me on tumblr. I'll be up in the morning.

[agp]

i dont know how to share my confidence on anything honestly around here you know how it is. but its over. we won tabarnac. the communists win. i told opirg today. you dont need to dig very far to see how game over it is. we have world peace by christmas and i believe it for real. gg guys.

peace and love on planet ottawa! peace and love on turtle island! peace and love in palestine! we have negotiation tables in qatar again monday morning!! did that 20 million year old fossil in washington need a slap from his buddy justin or did this not even need to happen?

there are a lot of doors everywhere. there are a lot of keys everywhere. people love to just leave their keys everywhere, especially still in the ignition in this stupid city and im the biggest thief here. de toute facon comme jte disais..

the iron dome has security measures. i have good reason to believe i am aware of a particular security vulnerabilty on the israeli side and ive been telling everyone to change their passwords forever you know how crazy it is out there.

i shared a particular code with an antizionist mensch that has been coming to the solidarity demonstrations held every weekend in ottawa since netenyahu and his genocidal regime escalated the situation to a war months ago last october. i shared other strategic victory plans with the pym and they all know where to find each other.

ill go bug embassy security about nonsense at 3am on my way back from the bar if anyones around. its warm as shit out here this month idk they might be out for a smoke or something. its not like the palestinians have much of an equivalent but im in the market so yall know exactly where i wanna go.

long story but my favourite tree in town survived the two years of peace i gave canada and the rest of the world from my bullshit! i think qatar or some other gulf state is building its embassy around it. i want to convince them to save this thing and integrate it into their design so bad. her name is grandmother acab!! forreal guys. if theres another close favourite its the apple tree near the aviation museum that fruits like a maniac. im just too shy to bug the ppl at city hall about it if they already offered it to another gulf state in that alley (the japanese and south korean embassies arent far either, its just behind global affairs lmao).

i wanted to play more concerts in that field with my friends. as far as i can tell mitski and lady lamb are interested in playing there again. i need to hit them up when shit gets less crazy again. i dont even know if they realized this was communist bullshit and theyre americans lmao.

its been left to fallow for sooo long and its one of my favourite spots in town. ive offered to kill suicidal friends there before idk. its very sacred to me. and im so glad the bulldozing hasnt started yet really. the shit they did down by the marina and the path down to the kichi zibi (ottawa/great river) from the north end of lowertown hurt me sooo much my god. i was scared i lost so much more behind the mint too dear lord.

sorry for making the good news so long and silly tonight. i need to hustle more responsibly lol. ily all. if i dont see you again good morning good afternoon and goodnight bozos! this truman show with the rcmp bugging my life needs to stop already. check out lady lamb! sound of the summer!

with solidarity and friendship,

audrey, jeanne, and friends

miigwetch

[firewoodwander]

hello, tis i, tumblr password forgetter, here to request #7 from the bedsharing prompts for codex (cody would make it weird) or alternately #11 for spones (i know this is your clone blog but listen,,,, it vibes)

You are SO correct about the spones, this is what I believe the kids call Galaxy Brained. So I am making a super special exception for this blog, Star Wars purists don’t look

11. we’re camping and my tent ripped, can I please share yours?

Leonard quietly adds this to his long, long list of reasons as to why the concept of away missions, but specifically this away mission, sucks absolute ass. A night bird caws from a tree above his head as if in agreement. The large, highly conspicuous tear across the front panel of his tent flaps lazily in the breeze.

In another hour surface temperatures in this part of the planet are supposed to reach single digits. All-terrain, all-weather proof his ass.

It’s still another half day’s walk to the nearest settlement, hence the camping. The little clearing is dotted with tents occupied almost solely by the survey team plus Uhura, most of whom happen to be ensigns. No luck there. There’s Lieutenant Rachels, but since his last stint in medbay he still jumps in fright every time Leonard even looks in his direction, so he’s out.

Which leaves, unfortunately, the only other member of the crew at the same level of authority.

Leonard sighs heavily even as he crouches outside Spock’s tent. He pats the exterior gently even if Spock surely already knows he’s there. It can only do to be polite.

“Hey uh, didn’t you say these things were built to withstand the vacuum of space?”

Twenty seconds and a tiny shuffle later, the entrance unzips and Spock’s face appears in the dimness. “If you are referring to the tents, Doctor, then yes, I did.”

“Great,” Leonard says, and jabs his thumb over his shoulder. Spock leans to the side to peer around him. “So I guess mine has a manufacturing fault or something.”

“Indeed, it does seem so.”

Leonard waits. Spock stares back impassively.

“So, uh, I don’t really want to be asking you this, but due to a very sad process of elimination, you’re the only one left—and it’s just for tonight, mind.“

Nothing.

“Damnit, Spock. Can I share your tent? Please. I’ll try not to get in the way, promise.”

Spock blinks placidly. “Your conclusions are logical, Doctor. Of the crew, it is most appropriate for you to request this of a fellow commander. However, it is not necessary. I can hold a night watch in the central area while you may take sole occupancy of the tent.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous, Spock,” Leonard hisses. Trust the Vulcan to come up with something so stupid. “Don’t start with that Vulcans don’t need sleep bullshit again. I’m your doctor, and I’m telling you we both need to sleep. I can just stick to one side and I’ll be out of your way. Okay?”

Spock hesitates, ever so subtly. “That is… acceptable. Your bedroll is still intact, correct?”

So Leonard drags his sleeping bag to Spock’s tent and crushes it and himself into the smallest space he can manage. He definitely overestimated how much space would be left with two tall, fully gown humanoids lying beside each other: Leonard’s shoulders meet Spock’s spine, he has to keep his hips angled outward, and their feet knock together. Spock radiates warmth.

Leonard should’ve braved the chill and slept outside; it’s not like he’s getting any rest like this, not with Spock nigh pressed up against him and breathing gently in the tiny space of the tent. Bad idea. Terrible idea. Jim isn’t going to let this one go, ever.

Spock shifts and turns over. Now his slow breaths are dampening the nape of Leonard’s neck and his warmth is even closer. Stupid, stupid idea.

“Leonard,” Spock says. Leonard jumps so hard his chest hurts. “You are tense.”

Closing his eyes, Leonard takes a long breath in through his nose and lets it slowly out through his mouth. “I don’t sleep well on new planets,” he part-lies. “Didn’t think you were still awake, Spock.”

Spock doesn’t reply for a long time, until, “I have become unused to sleeping in close proximity to another person. I hope I am not disturbing you.”

“No,” Leonard says. “Guess I’m the same.”

Leaves whisper and small animals rustle around outside. The woodlands are incredibly peaceful here, and Leonard feels entirely out of place.

Eventually, Spock turns back over. Eventually, Leonard thinks, he falls asleep.

Oh, Jim is really not going to let this one go at all.

[corvuserpens]

Hi everyone, I need to blow off some steam about something that’s Not Even That Big of a Deal But Kinda Is In the Grand Scheme of Things, it’s just that this crap pisses me off and I want it out of my Tired Brain so bear with me a moment.

But Gods, watching the Shadow & Bone fandom on Twitter going through the whole renewal anxiety, biting their nails off wondering if it’s going to get cancelled bc some dipshits in fancy suits are too lazy to make any decisions on their own and would rather rely on a fucking algorithm to tell them how good or profitable a show is instead of listening to the fan base, when I’m fresh off the literal months-long battle to get Netflix to renew The Sandman for a second season is so Exhausting.

It’s tiresome y’all, and stressful. 

(A little disclaimer before I continue this next section: none of this is aimed at the fans all over social media urging each other to keep watching to get the numbers S&B needs to get season 3, not at all, this is 100% about those brain rotted top execs making all the decisions, okay? Don’t at me all offended, please.)

I got shit to do, man. You think I got entire days, weeks even, to waste watching and rewatching the same show over and over again in hopes of tricking the algorithm into thinking more people watched and therefore declare that it’s worth renewing? That might be the Netflix execs’ pathetic little lives, but not mine. I got bills to pay, paintings to finish, a family to feed. Real priorities. And now I don’t even have Netflix anymore, thanks to their new fucking No Password Sharing bullshit, and I’ll be damned if I open an account for myself (can’t afford it, so good job losing some five subscribers in one go, real clever Netflix). 

Hhhhhhhh. I hate, hate, HATE streaming services so much. We lost DVDs and Blueray and are on the verge of losing movie theaters for THIS SHIT? I don’t want to have to fight for a show to get renewed every time there’s a new season, okay? I’m stressed enough already, I don’t need this, this isn’t fun. No matter how much I love a show, eventually it will start feeling like a chore and then I’ll be too resentful to even appreciate it anymore. Or imagine the season was a disappointment and I hated it, did I really waste all those hours rewatching for nothing? This is why I only follow like, 3 shows. Streaming sucks balls.

So honestly? If Shadow & Bone gets cancelled? Fuck it. We never get that long coveted Six of Crows spin-off? Fuck it. The Sandman gets cancelled after season 2? Fuck. It. At least we got the books, which are superior anyway. We got amazing fan artists and writers, what else do we need? I feel for the actors, the screenwriters, the cinematographers and everyone who works so hard on these TV projects, I really do. But goddamn, this... This is not Ideal.

End rant, Crow out.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Resentment

Okay, my incredulity about unironically playing Rick Astley aside: today. Was. HELL.

I woke up already feeling the hurt - the bone-and-muscle deep ache that speaks of a really, really bad day. I knew it was coming. Of course I fucking did. I've been overdoing it for weeks. It was always going to catch up. I just hoped it'd remain at a lower level for just a couple of more days.

But nope. Nope, today was the first day of what promises to be quite some while of excruciating pain. Yaaaaaaaaay.

But still, work needs doing. Thankfully, I did not get a panicked phone call begging me to come into the office. I did wake up earlier than I wanted to because of a text message, but it turns out that was the announcement that my new digibox arrives tomorrow (BT is apparently sending out a new digibox for its TV customers and I have zero idea why because mine works just fine, and this means I'm going to have to enter my bloody Netflix password into the thing again the next time I want to watch something and I haaaaaaaate having to use the fucking remote to enter a password). So at least I didn't have to commute.

That was basically the only good thing about today.

Someone else was typing a bit, today. I don't know who was typing a bit, but someone was. I know because the queue kept shrinking by ten or so reports every so often. The problem was that, once again, the ones that disappeared were those under a minute in length and dictated by someone with a fully comprehensible accent and no tendency to shift around the place or generally fuck up. No, I got all those. The fucking placentas (two of which the person dictating them started two days ago and finished early this afternoon, which dumped them right into the top of the typing queue because it goes by date created, not date completed). The prostate biopsies that are always six blocks or more, always with someone who refuses to state that there are fragments in with the cores until the block key, despite needing that information to exist in the fucking body of the report. The hysterectomies, one by a dude who seems to exist to make a typist bounce around the report, to the point of putting the number of specimens per block at the end of the block key instead of after each block where they belong. And a twelve-minute monstrosity by the guy I am always left to type for because his accent is a pain and he always does reports around the ten-minute mark and ... there's too much about this guy to hate. Well, insofar as his dictation goes - he's a lovely guy with a frustrating way of working, is all.

So yeah, apparently it's now actually policy to leave me all the difficult, frustrating, and just plain egregious bits of dictation. Scruffman knows how bad this is for me. Apparently we just don't care anymore. Fuck.

So now I hurt worse. Anything I might want to do except become duvet burrito is going to hinder my ability to even half-recover in time for tomorrow. I mean, everyone but Violet is supposed to be back tomorrow but that has never helped before and I cannot imagine it's going to help now, at least not in the "Give [Thess] the long and annoying stuff" department. Thing is, if I'm denied some kind of enjoyable activity, I'm just going to be grumpy and resentful. Well. More so than I already am. Because I am resentful. I am resentful of being lumbered with the shit no one else wants to do (because I don't want to do it either; I just do it because it's my job and I wouldn't be so pissed off if everyone did their share). I am resentful of having been obliged to manage more or less on my own for three weeks beyond people grabbing a few of the simpler and easier reports (the ones I enjoy and tend to use to decompress). Basically it feels like everything is dumping on me right now and I am just fed right the fuck up.

And I still have one more day of this shit before I can have some time off. Which will more or less be blown trying to recover from the bullshit of the last few weeks. And if I don't manage to get some kind of recovery done between now and Saturday night, I might have to cancel my Saturday D&D game again, which I really don't want to do but if Friday continues like the last few weeks...

I'm just really, really fed up. Frustrated and resentful and tired and in a lot of pain and clearly I need this time off so, so badly. It wouldn't be anywhere near this bad if I didn't get saddled with everything.

I wish I had the energy and lack of pain to just punch something.

[colorisbyshe]

Do you think the slow but steady price increase in the world of streaming services could be streaming's downfall? I hope so, tbh. I hate what streaming has done to the film industry, but I hate corporate greed even more. Netflix and their password sharing bullshit was the last straw. Piracy is so inconvenient, though. I can watch some random film or show on my phone, but what about my disabled boomer parents? It sucks that they can't even get light entertainment now that Netflix tracks IPs.

Downfall? No.

Do I think they're fucking themselves over in the longterm? Potentially.

Honestly, I think we need to realize that like... none of the huge, massive, world-owning shit we hate are facing "downfalls" any time soon. Not Netflix, not twitter, not the MCU or whatever else. Too big to fail is a real concept.

The world is filled with people who will keep consuming content even when it's too expensive, too immoral, too whatever. There are people completely unaware of netflix's price hikes and are still subscribed to streaming services they haven't used since 2021. There are people who are going to cheer on the attack of shared accounts because "fuck moochers." There are people who will get kicked off the account they have been using for 1-10 years and will simply... pay for their own account or that "additiaonl user" charge.

I imagine there will be some money lost here but... password "sharing" being destroyed isn't going to be the thing to take netflix down.

Just like raising their prices like 3 times in one year didn't take them down. People crowed about a loss of subscribers but they ended up having like... one of their best quarters, iirc.

These companies calculate projected loss versus the monetary reward and... a lot of the time they are right. And a lot of the time, when they're wrong, they have enough cash on hand to weather the shit storm and either change the policy back or will... just stick to it until people forget they're mad about it.

Cause a lot of the people who canceled their accounts will come back for a new season of stranger things and then forget to cancel their account after.

And this is part of why I get pissy with people who pretend that because societal problems are PRIMARILY caused by large corporations, people have no personal responsibility.

When... a lot of the time, it's masses of people refusing to actually do anything about the companies fucking htem over that are enabling company suckage.

If everyone crying over canceled warrior nun or price hikes or "fuck sharing with your friends and family" policies ACTUALLY canceled their accounts PERMANENTLY or until MASSIVE change (and not JUST one issue), maybe netflix wouldn't be too big to fail and would have to consider consumers.

But like... no.

I canceled my account last year. A drop in the bucket to netflix. But many drops of water collected together have often been called lakes, rivers, fucking oceans. Soooo... idk... can we as a society get on that or are we forever going to channel "you can't even boycott chick fil a" energy?

[sun-in-retrograde]

Salacia Opposing Makemake

On 15 March Makemake and Salacia will oppose one another with Salacia at 9 degrees of Aries and Makemake at 10 degrees of Libra. They’ll remain within 1 degree of each other until 30 April as Makemake retrogrades back into Salacia. Then, for a few months Salacia will be ahead until it retrogrades back into Makemake and enters a close conjunction again 4 September to 21 October. 

This is something that happens every year right now. Salacia has been opposing Makemake at a wide orb since 1998 when it was in Pisces and it will continue to do so until 2045 when Salacia will be in Taurus. Close oppositions (under one degree) between the two planets will pop up in the Summer of 2012-2019; in the Spring and Autumn of 2020-2030; then the opposition will ebb away with the last few in the winter of 2031-2038. What this means is that this opposition is currently at its strongest - we’ve had 12 years of it and we have 14 years to go. 

The Planets

Makemake is relatively large for a dwarf planet - it takes 306.2 years to cross the zodiac. Salacia is the smallest of the dwarf planets to be named. It’s smaller and a little bit faster - it makes it across the zodiac in 274 years. Because of their relatively similar speeds, aspects last a long time. As far as I can see they were last conjunct in the 11th century. 

This means for most people alive now, if Makemake and Salacia have anything to do with one another, it’ll be oppositional. And this is a real shame because I genuinely don’t think they’re naturally hostile to one another. Makemake and Salacia seem to work in the same area - how you use resources and systems. 

My view is, Makemake takes a bit of a birds eye view of something while Salacia is about being very much in it. Makemake is interested in how things fit together and how to use that. Salacia is more about vibes. If Makemake wanted to sell you something it could talk you into it. Salacia would have a shop you’re naturally interested in going into. When I think of Makemake I think of nationalism, patriotism, and manipulating resources. When I think of Salacia I think of forms of media, ways of networking, and things that are hidden or hard to see. 

The Opposition

When Makemake and Salacia oppose, look for systems that are hiding, or things hidden in systems. Particularly, look for things hidden in how systems made up of people.

Manipulative nationalism or cult behaviour strikes me as very appropriate for the Makemake-Salacia opposition. Basically you have the manipulative abilities of Makemake working alongside the hiddenness of Salacia. Malware, gaslighting, parasocial relationships and scams are all very relevant for this, but particularly situations where the core of the scam is how you identify and what you identify with. 

The core lie to watch out for is “You can trust me because we’re the same”. The core lie to watch out for in yourself is the belief that someone is going to treat you well because they’re in your church, or political movement, or share your interest in astrology, or share your queer identity. We often think of scams, cults, abuse and grooming as things that happen to other people. In the UK “Muslim grooming gangs” have been a huge issue even though there’s no evidence that you’re more likely to be abused by a Muslim than a white person. It’s comforting to believe that evil is somehow different to your own community because it’s far easier to believe that than to recognise that the risk is always from people who look like you, talk like you, think like you, live with you.

So, yeah, keep your hand on your wallet. Be safe. Don’t put your passwords or bank details into anything surprising without thinking about it first. Explore new ideas all you like but remain genuinely curious, and that means not just staying open minded but also being critical of the person telling you about UFOs, or how to vote, or how to lose weight, or dwarf planet astrology. They might be just bullshitting you.

The Positives

You know what, it’s good to be part of a group, it’s good to be seduced, and we do have elections coming up and a genocide in Gaza to fight. In Salacia and Makemake we have two somewhat cerebral and manipulative energies in close aspect for a long period of time. Now could be a good time to sweep someone off their feet, or be swept. It might not be as meaningful as you think at the time but that doesn’t mean it’s not potentially fun. Propaganda and group identification might be kicked into overdrive for the next few weeks but that also means there’s possibilities to get a message out and solidify your groups. Maybe don’t expect truth to get as far as lies or genuine community to win out over cultish devotion - but we have the cosmic energy we have and all we can do is work with it ethically. 

Also, sometimes it might be good to be a part of a crowd. Makemake is direct and Salacia is retrograde so now would be a good time for collective actions - the Eurovision fandom is doing this at the moment. People have formed relationships through a shared interest, got angry about the war in Gaza, and now they’re working out how to act on that. A movement emerges where there wasn’t one visible before. It emerges in conflict and sadness, but that’s powerful. More of that please.

I’ve got notes underneath about examples of this aspect in the past and a schedule of when it happened and will happen.  

Oppositions started 1998 Salacia in Pisces (within 5 degrees)

Oppositions Within 1 

9 June 2012-27 June 2012

22 May 2013-18 July 2013

12 May 2014-31 July 2014

5 May 2015-10 August 2015

27 April 2016-19 August 2016

22 April 2017-27 August 2017

16 April 2018-5 September 2018

11 April 2019-13 September 2019

5 April 2020-3 June 2020; 23 July-20 September

2021: 31 March-22 May; 6 August 2021-28 September

2022: 26 March-14 May; 17 August-6 Obctober

2023: 22 March-7 May; 27 August- 14 October

2024: 15 March-30 April; 4 September-21 October

2025: 10 March-24 April; 13 September-29 October

2026: 4 March-19 April; 21 September-7 November

2027: 26 February-14 April; 29 September-17 November

2028: 20 February-8 April; 5 October-26 November

2029: 11 February-3 April; 13 October-9 December

2030: 1 February-29 March; 21 October-5 January 2031

2031: 7 January-24 March; 

2031/2032: 29 October 2031-18 March 2032

2032/2033: 5 November 2032-13 March 2033

2033/4: 14 November 2033-7 March 2034

2034/5: 23 November 2034-28 February 2035

2035/6: 3 December 2035-21 February 2036

2036/7: 15 December 2036-10 February 2037

2038: 5 January 2038-23 January 2038

Ends (at 5 degrees 2045) Salacia in Taurus

Julian Assange when he hid in the embassy - Makemake was conjunct his natal Pluto and Salacia was Conjunct Chariklo - so survival and hidden knowledge were issues related to hiding by attaching himself to a nation. Makemake opposes Gonggong along his MC. Gongong is associated with major upsets and upheavals and Makemake is associated with national identity. Pretty appropriate for someone who shocked the world by revealing national secrets

Brexit happened with an opposition between the 8th house Makemake (what the country is owed) and 2nd house Salacia (our place in a global economy)

Zelenskyy had a Makemake - Gonggong opposition along his MC, again, appropriate for someone whose election has led to such an upheaval and a change in Ukraine's self-image and image in the world. When he was elected president the Makemake-Salacia opposition had a positive aspect with him Sun and Venus which really shines a light on his charm and charisma.

[gon-and-killuas-mother]

wanna watch the new doctor who but

1) disney+ is bullshit about sharing accounts and makes the process stupidly complex even within the same FAMILY and i don't feel like texting my sister just to ask her for the password AND the code it would email her. also fuck disney and fuck bbc, etc etc

2) i haven't even caught up on doctor who from where i left off in 12's last season, so i feel like i need to do that first bc i wanna see how 11-13 personalities peak out through 10/14

3) feel like i'd get mad if i watch them as they come out, having to wait a week in between cliffhangers like, you know, normal television

the only thing that's making me consider trying to watch it anyway is that i'll be seeing it all over tumblr. should i blacklist doctor who just to avoid spoilers??? i never used to care about spoilers but. this is different. somehow.

like. this is pretty much a scenario every 10 and Donna fan was writing fix-it fics about. Russell's giving us an incredible gift and i think i need to go into it blind, just to experience it totally for myself, you know?

[insanely-lovely-and-random]

I'm sorry but I'm reading articles about the new Netflix bullshit about password sharing and the phrase "100million users are watching Netflix for free" came up and WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!?!

NO. THEY AIN'T. Someome bloody pays for Netflix that's how they watch it, the same way you can go on Amazon or Itunes and buy The Matrix digitally then your fam or your friends or your fucking neighbor Bill can watch it if you so invite him to. Fucking Netflix can fuck right off witht his Bullshit!!

THOSE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T AFFORD NETFLIX AND WATCH YOU STILL WON'T BE ABLE TO WHEN YOU CRACK DOWN. YOU MORONS. YOU WILL NOT GAIN A SINGLE SUBSCRIBER.

But if this stupid "Subaccount" charge become a thing I know they're bloody gonna lose some! In my place I pay for Disney+ My siter pays for Netflix. We do not live together. But MY GOD If they start sub charging for me I will tell my sister to delete my profile if not outright advise her to cancel her subscription to this fucking greedy shitbag.

My GOD! I am not pro nor anti capitalism I'm on the side of it's a mixed bag but FUCK ME I HATE GREEDY CORPORATIONS.

This grow grow grow profit thing is fucking disgusting. Building a business and growing profits for the the first few years I find completely acceptable BUT when you reach as steady profit margin, you're making plenty of cash to not only keep you going but to make a good chunk a change each year? FUCKING STOP. Thats it. Thats ya money take it and be BLOODY GRATEFUL.

Also probs keep some extra aside at all times so if ya company takes a hit or some u forseen problem comes up ya got excess cash to plug the hole DONT GIVE OUT A MILLION BONUSES TO YA SELF AND SIX FRIENDS AND THEN BE LIKE OH BUT THERE ARE OTHER STREAMIBG SERVICES NOW WAH WAH WAH.

piss. off.

[msclaritea]

Netflix’s AI Anime Credits An Artist As ‘Human,’ Gets Roasted

The anime community has been rife with contraversy over AI-generated images. Today, Netflix joined the hot new trend of being ratioed online for terrible AI takes. The streaming platform not only produced a commercial project with AI, it tried to justify doing so by citing the “labor shortage” in the anime industry. Artists did not take this bullshit at face value, and they weren’t quiet about it either.

Dog and Boy is an animated movie created by Netflix Japan and Wit Studio (which produced Ranking of Kings and co-animated Spy x Family).

According to a Vice translation, Netflix Japan tweeted: “As an experimental effort to help the anime industry, which has a labor shortage, we used image generation technology for the background images of all three-minute video cuts!”

The production credits list AI as the co-creators of the background art and the music. Before you click “play,” I’d like to make one thing clear: It doesn’t matter if the resulting video is good or bad. One of the wealthiest anime producers in the world chose not to employ at least two living artists to create the movie, and that’s not great for the future of animation. Or artists as both workers and a community.

Even worse, the artist who had to handhold the AI doesn’t appear to be credited at all. The background designer is credited as “AI (+ Human).” Um, I’m pretty sure that the human has an actual name. So not only was Netflix Japan experimenting with some ethically dodgy technology, they’re showing exactly how little they respect living background painters. If Japan has an animator shortage, it’s because the industry pays freelancers a poverty wage to hand-draw images.

In Japan, artist pay has not risen with the cost of living, which makes it impossible for some to survive in the industry. Even under these conditions, companies continuously find ways to underpay their employees. Despite being massively successful, the studio behind the movie Promare and Cyberpunk: Edgerunners was forced to settle with its own staff over unpaid overtime. If artists don’t want to work, it’s likely because they can’t afford to.

Netflix could have easily solved this problem with higher pay. Instead, it’s trying to cut out some artists altogether. Kotaku reached out to ask Netflix about the specific challenges they have with recruiting human artists, but did not receive a response by the time of publication.

On Twitter, artists and creators are, as the kids like to say, “beating Netflix’s ass in the quote retweets.” A Netflix showrunner wrote: “Not something to be proud of, babes.” Even an AI engineer offered to introduce Netflix to animators looking for work while chiding the company for not “looking very hard.” The quote retweets are filled with people demanding higher pay for animators, which warms even my cold, cynical heart.

“You want everything for free, but we need money to live,” tweeted one Japanese comic artist. “And a lot of work that can worsen our health”

Meantime, elsewhere in Netflix Land:

They certainly do love their sociopaths and robots, don't they?

Netflix lost 200,000 subscribers last April, and over 970,000 by the 2nd quarter in 2022. Password sharing is the least of their problems. I'm so glad I dropped Netflix last year. Besides the way they sabotaged The Power of The Dog, they just show far too many Occult themed shows for my taste.

[softpink]

100 Questions

1. What’s your philosophy in life?

To not waste what you’ve been given. To share all you have to offer in the fullest capacity that you can.

2. What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself?

Would love to not have gastroparesis, pls and thx

3. Are you religious or spiritual?

A mix of both. Raised catholic by my parents, but heavy shinto roots from my Grandma.

4. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

I am an introvert at my core. I love quiet time, solitude, etc. But I can be very personable when I need to be.

5. Which parent are you closer to and why?

My mom, just because we talk every single day. I am very close with my dad too, though. He’s Japanese so how he shows affection/closeness is very different than my mom.

6. What was the best phase in your life?

Right now! 25 has been exceptionally good. I can’t think of a time in my life that even compares to the peace and love I have now.

7. What was the worst phase in your life?

15-21 was six years of non stop bullshit

8. Is what you’re doing now what you always wanted to do growing up?

I mean, in the literal sense, no? I was always so wishy washy on “what I wanted to be when I grow up.” Court room stenographer, teacher, lawyer, pharmacist. I wanted to be everything. At my core, I always wanted to be a helper. I want to help people. I do that everyday at my job, so yes. I am doing what I wanted to do.

9. What makes you feel accomplished?

P r a i s e :-) I am a simple lady, all I need is to be told I’m doing a good job

10. What’s your favorite book/movie of all time and why did it speak to you so much?

Favorite book of all time is Catcher in the Rye. I read it right after one my best friends died my senior year of high school. Holden’s existential crisis of facing growing up while being paralyzed by grief, desperately clinging to the concept of innocence because yours has been stolen by trauma while watching your own life rot away like fruit on the vine because you don’t know HOW to move forward resonated with me so deeply. It’s a book that helped me navigate that crushing loss when I was 17. It helps me navigate it now 7 years later. Every time I reread Catcher, I learn something new. I think it is a perfectly written novel. 

11. What is a relationship deal breaker for you?

Being controlling. Independence is so important to me.

12. Are you more into looks or brains?

Brains, always.

13. Would you ever take back someone who cheated?

No, I’m not in the business of self degradation 

14. How do you feel about sharing your password with your partner?

I think it is weird to ask your partner for that kind of information, and I’m not in a relationship right now that has those types of behaviors. I don’t think you need your partners passwords to have honesty in your relationship. I think asking your partner for their passwords to things is an inherent sign of distrust.

15.If you died tomorrow, what would you wish you had done?

Spent more time with my friends and family, more time with the people that I love.

16. What kind of parent do you think you will be?

The cool aunt :) kids are not on the agenda for me

17. What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner?

At 25? I would break up with them, because I am old enough and wise enough now to know that if your parents don’t like them, they have a good reason.

18. Who is that one person you can talk to about just anything?

Molly, Brad, and my mom all live on equal footing there

19. Do you usually stay friends with your exes?

Typically, no. Not for any malice, just because what purpose do they have in my life? Almost all of my exes came into my life with the intention of dating me, so there’s no baseline friendship to go back to. You know what I mean? I’m not on bad terms with a vast majority of my exes, I feel really neutral about them at the end of the day. Am I going to go out of my way to keep them an active part of my life? No. Am I going to be nice if I run into them or if they need help with something? Of course. I’m not an asshole.

20. Have you ever lost someone close to you?

Literally lost, like dead? Yes. Emotionally lost, no longer in my life? Also yes.

21. If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?

Depends on what I’m in a bad mood about, but typically I like to have alone time to decompress first and then I will seek out interaction with others after I’ve calmed down.

22. What’s an ideal weekend for you?

I like Friday night to be the party night. Good cocktails, out with friends, dive bars to end the night. Maybe some dancing thrown in there. Or a house party type of night. Have our friends over for a fire, playing drinking and board games.

Saturday is for recovery. Snuggles in bed in the morning. Cook breakfast at home. Do laundry and clean the bathroom. Do something outside (hike, walk, etc) or go see family. Nice dinner, either out at a restaurant or steak at home. Chill at home for the evening, just Brad and I. Movie or video games with our favorite snacks.

Sunday, early morning grocery shopping and breakfast. Run errands. Watch football, and take it easy.

That is my ideal weekend.

23.   Can you pin point the moment in your life where you were the happiest?

On top of Mt Pemetic in Acadia. Bradley and I were the only people up there, staring into the vast blue of the Atlantic. Everything felt like it was going to be okay on that mountain. Life got put into perspective for me up there.   

24. Do you judge a book by its cover?

I mean, yeah. Bad cover design is a cardinal sin.

25. Are you confrontational?

I am an Aries stellium. 

26. When was the last time you broke someone’s heart?

?????? Maybe Kyle ????? I really can’t remember or pinpoint who

27. Would you relocate for love?

Like, if I met someone online would I MOVE to be with them? Absolutely not. If Brad told me today that he was going to take a job in another state, of course. I will not relocate for love, but I will follow the love of my life. Do you know what I mean?

28. Did you ever write a journal?

Still do to this day!

29. What are you most thankful for?

The forgiveness and grace that has been extended to me time and time again

30. Do you believe in second chances?

For most things

31. What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?

That I’m MEAN. I’m not mean, I’m just LOUD.

32. What is your idea of a perfect vacation?

Ctrl+C Ctrl+V the 2021 Maine vacation, but during later summer/early fall so I can see the moose during mating season

33. What did your past relationship teach you?

That if they want to be with you, they will. You are worth more than excuses. If you think you need to leave them; then it is time to do just that.

34.Why did you cry the last time you did so?

LMAO. I accidentally took my wellbutrin dose twice on Friday and I was sobbing uncontrollably for a large portion of the day. It was a very bad and very scary time.

35.    Is home for you a place or a feeling? Describe that place or describe that feeling.  

It’s a feeling. It’s the feeling of ease, of being comfortable. I walk into my apartment with Brad, my parents house, my sisters apartment, Kathryn’s apartment, Molly’s apartment, and there are no pretenses. I can just simply be. All of those places are home to not because of the physical structures, but because of the love I feel as soon as I cross the threshold.

36. When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?

PROBABLY FRIDAY WHEN I TOOK 900MG OF WELLBUTRIN. 

Aside from the medication error? When Brad grabbed my hand for the first time in the back of the uber way back when.

37. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again?

Jesus chirst. I went on a date with a man from Hinge to one of the abandon grain silos. I cannot believe I didn’t get MURDERED. No, I would never do something that stupid ever again.

38.    If you could be anywhere other than where you are right now, where would you be and what would you be looking at?

I’d be in Maine, watching salt water crash against granite and pine trees.  

39. What’s your biggest regret in life?

Everything involving my first employer :-)

40. What do you think about when you’re by yourself?

Anything and everything

41. Does your job make you happy?

It does! I love my patients and I love my coworkers. I love that I do not think about my job when I am not there and it allows me to have an actual work life balance.

42. What did you want to be when you were younger?

Everything! Court room stenographer, teacher, art historian, artist, pharmacist, doctor, lawyer!

43. Why did your last relationship end?

Because he was 27 and had way too much baggage and I was 22 and didn’t know how to process or handle my emotions

45. What’s been your biggest mistake so far in life and what did you learn from it?

Extending too much of myself into people/things that do not return the effort. I learned that you have to value your sanity and standards above all else.

46. Where is your favorite place in the entire world to go?

Maineeeee

47. What are your top five favorite movies?

1. Gone Girl 2. Parasite 3. The Social Network 4. Silver Linings Playbook 5. Ladybird

48. What are some of your favorite songs? That’s a very broad question but three songs I’ve been listening to a lot lately are You’re On Your Own Kid by TSwift, Anywhere With You by Maggie Rogers, and Your Type by Carly Rae Jepsen

49. What qualities do you admire about your parents?

Forgiveness, patience, hard work

50. How would you describe your best friend?

Patient, level headed, protective

51. What’s your favorite hobby to do alone?

I love all sorts of arts and crafts type stuff, but I’ve been very into scrapbooking lately 

52. What’s something you can’t go a day without doing?

Talk to my mom

53. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?

Ahh that’s hard to say. I am a very planned out type of person.

54. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love?

Had a crush on a man for over a year of my life in my TWENTIES

55. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

Laziness!

56.     Do you have any recurring dreams or nightmares?

I am medicated precisely so I do not have nightmares :-)    

57. What accomplishment are you most proud of?

My nursing license! School was hell, and it was during one of my lowest points in my life. The fact that I got through it all in one go is crazy to me.

58. What is one dream you have yet to accomplish?

Become a psych NP

59. What is your greatest fear?

My loved ones dying

60. What are three things you value most about a person?

1. Honesty 2. Being a good listener 3. Being dependable

61. Who are five people you are closest with?

Brad, Molly, my mom, Grace, Kathryn

62. What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome?

Being large scale traumatized throughout highschool

63. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

If I could take my family with me? Northern Maine. If not, then I’m staying put right here in Buffalo.

64. What’s the most exciting thing that’s happened this past year?

Something I can’t disclose online right now! But other than that, definitely moving into the new apartment with Brad

65.   Do you believe more in fate or that we are the creators of our own destinies because we are governed by free will?  

I think it’s a pretty even split

66. What’s one thing that bothers you most about the world today?

Narrowminded opinions/echo chambers

67.   How do you define art?  

Anything that causes a discussion

68. If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be?

The ROSACEA

69. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?

Hoarding of wealth

70. Who was your favorite teacher and why?

Mr Spero. He offered me refuge in the wake of Mike’s death. Always gave me solid advice. His classroom was a safe space for me.

71. What sport did you fall in love with?

Tae kwon do unfortunately :’-)

72.  If you could have the option of eradicating pain from your life would you choose to do so? Why or why not? 

No. It has made me who I am today 

73. What was your longest relationship?

Mike was almost three years!

74. What would your best friend say is your best quality?

My ~passion~

75.   If you could be given the date of your death would you want to know it?  

Absolutely not

76.   If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, what would it be and why?  

Giant panda, obviously.

77. If you could tell your former self one thing right now what would it be?

That it won’t be like this forever, and that you will love the life you have one day

78. What food could you not live without?

Potatoes!!

79. Dogs or Cats?

Dogs but I do love kitties too

80. What’s closest you’ve ever come to being arrested?

Stoned out of my mind in Matt Reid’s car trying to find parking in Cleveland for the state champs world tour in a fucking snowstorm

81. What was your best birthday?

24 and 25 were both sensational

82. What’s one thing you wish you knew how to do?

Use a sewing mache!

83. Where’s one place you’d like to go that you haven’t been?

Alaska

84. What was the last book you read? And When?

The Body Keeps Score, I finished it a couple weeks ago!

85.   If you were given a chance to explore the oceans, go to outer space or visit 50 different countries, which one you choose and why? 

50 different countries because space and the ocean freak me out 

86. What are some of your own personal goals in the next 5 years?

Buy a house, invest more, go back to school, have an actual adult wardrobe, draw more

87. What would you consider your greatest accomplishment so far?

I already answered this!

88. If you could get away with anything what would you do?

I’mma be real with you, rob a bank or the rich or something to that degree

89.   Out of the negative emotions of greed, anger, jealousy and hate, which one would you say affects you the most?  

Anger for sure

90. What’s the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?

Quit my first nursing job with nothing lined up :)

91.   Has another’s pain ever given you joy? Be totally honest.

I mean, Marty’s receding hairline brings me joy everytime I see it. But other than that, no.  

92. If heaven is real and you died tomorrow, would you get in?

I would hope so!

93. Do you believe in fate?

I do

94.   If you had to pick one, what is the most important value you would teach your children? Honesty, Kindness or Courage?  

Courage. It takes courage to be kind. It takes courage to be honest.

95. If you had the ability to erase something that you did in the past, what

would it be?

Mike dying

96. What song makes you unconditionally happy?

Don’t Take The Money by Bleachers

97.   Name the one worst quality you cannot tolerate in a partner?

Being controlling  

98. What fictional character do you most relate to?

ladybird fo sho

99.   If you got a free check for $5,000 right this second, how would you use it?

Go on a NICE vacation

100. What is your biggest irrational fear?

ANTS

[thequeenofsastiel]

Don't Say No Special Episode Review--In which thequeenofsastiel attempts to move on from this couple.

I wouldn't call this episode particularly memorable, but it had a few kinky and plenty of sweet moments between Leo and Fiat, so I enjoyed it, by and large.

Not even going to try to pretend I don't love that the very first time we see them it opens with Leo dominating Fiat:

Leo's fondness for his brats is still adorable:

Be careful what you wish for, Fiat:

So apparently being spanked isn't one of Fiat's kinks. I'll go cry about it some and then proceed to entirely forget it when I write kink scenes between them.

How long it took Leo to even slightly lower the gun at Tho and Nam was hilarious. And, as someone raised in gun loving Texas(not that I find them particularly delightful myself) I appreciated the fact that Leo had proper trigger safety technique(you never put your finger on the trigger unless you know for certain that you intend upon firing the gun--this is something that most filmmakers appear entirely unaware of).

I enjoyed the juxtaposition of Leo with his friends and Fiat with his friends. Often in love stories either the friends of only one of them is shown, the couple entirely shares friends, or there are no friends. But both friend groups are shown, and both are very different, which makes sense. Leo and Fiat have very different personalities, and thus very different friends, but this isn't shown to be a bad thing in any way. They feel like real, very rounded people with real, very rounded friends, and I love that.

In other news, I was very much hoping that since Anda and Natsu were both part of this romantic trip we'd get at least one romantic moment between them but noooo. The closest we got was that Anda didn't smack Natsu on the head like she did Nam and Tho, and dragged her away while leaving the three guys behind. I'm just going to headcanon that Anda took Natsu away and punished her before they had sex(or during) because no one can stop me.

Possessive Leo is always sexy:

Loving that apparently their kink relationship hasn't dimmed in three years.

I will say, though, I found their conversation regarding Leo's concern about his possessiveness a little confusing. Why is Fiat bringing up something that Leo said three years ago, something he only said because he was afraid his desire to dominate Fiat on a deeper level would burst through? Is this the first time Fiat's brought it up? Is this the first time Leo's expressed concern about being possessive? And what did he mean about becoming more and more possessive by the day? Does he mean in his thoughts, or in his actions? I feel like this conversation would have made more sense if it had taken place three weeks after ep 12 than three years. While the communication is good, it feels like what's being communicated indicates a lack of emotional growth.

As other people have pointed out, the drama around Leon and Pob is dumb and doesn't make sense. Pob said Leon hadn't responded to him for three years, but Leon has only apparently not had access to his email for one, which means that for two years Leon ignored Pob's emails. Also, who forgets the password to their email account and just lets it go? Does he not use that email account for anything? And if that email was the only way Pob could contact him(though that doesn't make sense either), I don't believe for a second that Leon didn't check it at least once a day to see if Pob emailed him, even if Leon somehow found the self will not to email Pob himself. Okay, @heretherebedork now I'm starting to get annoyed too. I don't even care about them as a couple, but the whole thing was such contrived bullshit with more holes than a used scantron. Whatever.

It looks like we're going to get an entire season devoted to them, which, like, okay, I guess. I don't feel like their story is interesting enough to merit a season on its own, though. The only thing that'll make it worthwhile is if Leo and Fiat are the side couple(and though the thought of them going back to being a side couple makes me sad, at least this way there's less of a chance of some bullshit drama between them; if we're lucky, it'll just be kinky sweetness), and/or if we get AndaNatsu as a side couple. On the other hand, I deeply disliked Tincan in Love By Chance, and they became one of my favorite couples ever in A Chance to Love(their terrible kissing chemistry notwithstanding). Of course, ACTL completely rewrote their switchy relationship and turned it into a Daddy/brat relationship, and I doubt a Leonpob series would do anything nearly as interesting to me.

8/10 on the episode. Overall, aside from the Leonpob bits, it was cute, though I wish I'd realized that the actual episode was only an hour, with half an hour of BTS, because I wasn't prepared for it to end. I feel like I would have had a stronger emotional reaction to the episode ending if I'd been aware of when it would happen.

I think I'll give the series as a whole a 7/10, but only because Leonpob was so boring and we never got more than the briefest confirmation of AndaNatsu. If it was just the Leofiat parts I really think I have to give it a 9.5/10. I don't hate the ep 11 drama nearly as much as I did before the explanation for Leo's behavior was revealed in ep 12, and definitely not as much as I think almost everyone else did. This is largely because I have a lot of sympathy for Leo and his struggles with his kink orientation. While I don't personally have the same struggle, I can absolutely understand where Leo is coming from, and I found the whole thing very moving.

Leo and Fiat are probably my favorite couple out of all of the series I've ever seen. I've seen romances with better stories surrounding them, but Leo and Fiat's relationship just has a profound nature that captivates me. Though personally I'm poly and love getting to love multiple people(I don't want to imagine a world in which my girlfriend, her husband and I don't have the beautiful dynamic we do, and I'll never break up with her to date or even marry anyone else), there's something about the possessive, intensely codependent nature of their relationship that I find enrapturing. How explicitly kinky they are is a crucial part of it as well, and even though it isn't exactly the way my kink relationships are, there are enough similarities that I feel very seen.

I'm glad this series and this couple exists. I hope we see more of them in the future, even if it's just as a side couple, but whether we do or not, watching them has been a wonderful experience, as has been getting to talk about them with all of you, especially @heretherebedork @tamipuff @leofiat-bunny @leofiat @marbles290 @hvuckheis @minhomas-tmr @thesnowyswan @caprisshell and @absolutebl . Y'all are the best, and I hope we can continue to connect about other shows and ships.

[leiawritesstories]

Speak To My Heart

Rowaelin Month, Day 15: A bad day

Word count: 3422

Warnings: language, bit of depression, fighting. In short, there is angst in this fic. Hope the ending makes up for the rest.

Linguistics and foreign languages are two of my personal passions, so please bear with the bits of language talk that I couldn’t resist including. Brief word of clarification: a lot of expressions we use in English either translate into something extremely rude or don’t make sense in other languages. Translation companies have been trying for quite some time to make sure they don’t accidentally send a client a translated instruction manual that reads “fuck your mother” instead of “for questions, contact your local energy department.” All right I’ll get off my soapbox. :)

The phrases in foreign languages, marked with *, are translated into English at the end. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rowan’s day had been shit. The second he walked through the door, he’d been bombarded with an endless slew of crash reports, malfunctioning equipment, faulty passwords, and best of all, having to rewrite half the security firewalls because one of the rash young idiots in his department couldn’t be bothered to check his work for errors before sending it to management. And management thought it was the department boss’s job to fix all of his employees’ fuckups.

He hated IT.

Even more so since being promoted to department chair. 

All he wanted to do was the fun stuff--program design and development, fixing the flaws in his own designs, and of course making those who tried to break into his company’s systems regret their pitiful existence. But Cadre Tech’s bitch of a CEO refused to let the best software engineer on her staff actually do his job. 

Most days, he could cope with the pile of useless shit she directed to his desk. Most days. Today was not one of those days. Probably because on top of all the meaningless tasks he’d had to field, he was also forced to sit through one of Maeve’s bullshit “department head strategy sessions,” where every department chair had to pretend they gave a single shit about any word coming from their CEO’s garishly red, pinched mouth. 

As if she knew anything her staff actually did. 

Thanks to the compulsory meeting, Rowan was stuck in his office at nearly ten o’clock, painstakingly combing through the final draft of the update to CT’s translation program. This program had shot the company to fame and fortune, or at least insane stock value. “A Google Translate that actually translates,” their marketing department called it, and by the gods, that stupid slogan worked. And made sense. Rowan knew the program was just as good as it claimed to be.

He’d put in the hours, alongside a team of linguists, software engineers, designers, and people fluent in at least one other language. Frequent were the sessions where the project whiteboard turned into a jumble of words in twenty or more languages, Spanish alongside Arabic next to a column of simplified Japanese characters spilling over into a row of Cyrillic lettering. Rowan himself spoke German and some Spanish, but even he was lost amid the cacophony of eighteen different people switching from language to language, trying to figure out how idiomatic expressions translated from one language to another and what words should never, ever be placed together. 

It took the team well over a year of bickering, or as they called it, friendly linguistic disagreements, to make it from loosely mapped concept to functioning program. By the time it hit the market three years ago, the software had been so well promoted that companies all over the world snapped up their chance to finally communicate properly with the client they’d offended years ago with a bad translation. 

At launch, of course, Maeve stood in front of a sea of shouting reporters brandishing microphones, smiling her serpentine smile, and proceeded to thank the creative team for all their “contributions” before taking all the credit herself. 

Said creative team went to the bar that had become their usual gathering spot that night to get drunk and shit-talk their horrible boss, not necessarily in that order. 

His favorite memory of that night was hearing the chief linguist, an outside contract with multiple advanced degrees who spoke eight separate languages besides English fluently, refer to Maeve as “quella puttana rugosa che non riusciva a convincere un cazzo a venire a dieci metri da lei se si vestiva da figa.*” The Italian speakers on the team were crying with laughter, and so was everyone else, once she translated it.

And then she downed another shot of vodka and hissed something that sounded like “sukya bliyad, no puedo mich betrinken con esta ordures.**” When everyone blinked in confusion, she sighed and relayed the sentiment in English. 

Nobody had laughed as hard as Rowan. Aelin Galathynius just had that effect on him.

She brightened his darkest days.

But she couldn’t ease the strain of today.

And it was all his fault.

~

Aelin glanced up at the clock on her wall and cursed in three different languages when she saw that it was nearly eleven. Without meaning to, she’d spent all afternoon and evening writing lesson notes on idiomatic expressions. She really couldn’t help herself once she got into the topic; it was her pet project.

And the subject of one of her dissertations. Yes, she had multiple. 

She’d worked her ass off for years to get through college, then through graduate and doctoral work while teaching at universities to offset costs, then earned a full-time teaching position at one of the top-ranked universities in the world. She got to teach linguistics, her lifetime love, and give guest lectures at other universities and at conferences, teaching people all over the world about the complexities and interrelatedness of language. Hell, she spoke ten; she’d be qualified to speak on linguistic relationships by virtue of that alone.

Gods, she was the chief linguist behind the most successful translation software ever produced. Even if the bitch who owned the rights to said software had literally threatened to sue over ownership rights if any of the people who’d poured their figurative blood and sweat and literal tears into building the program tried to claim a small piece of the credit each of them so richly deserved. 

That software and her role in its creation--even though Maeve Ond had claimed the public credit, the creative team spoke at interviews and made news features for their work in Cadre Tech’s massive success--had solidified her credentials as a professor of linguistics, had boosted her into her lecturer spot.

Last year, her university granted her tenure. 

She should have been overjoyed, and she was, but not as much as earning tenure deserved. 

Because there was nobody to share her joy.

Three years ago, in the wake of CT’s overnight jump to worldwide fame, Aelin fled a love she did not and never would deserve. 

She told herself she would never look back. But she did. Almost every day, she looked back at the life she’d shared with Rowan and tried to convince herself that she did the right thing.

Try as she might, she could never silence the whisper that echoed always in her mind. 

“You broke both of your hearts” 

Someday, she told herself, someday she would be back in Doranelle. Someday, she would have a chance to apologize. Someday, maybe she could fix the Rowan-shaped chasm that gaped wide in her heart. 

Yet here she was, sitting in a very nicely appointed hotel room in the university district of Doranelle, typing furiously away as if burying herself in notes and prep for tomorrow’s lecture could make the urge to contact Rowan disappear.

~

Three years earlier. Doranelle.

“Knock, knock.”

Rowan’s head jerked up from where it had most definitely not been slumped on his desk. “Wha--Oh. Hi, Aelin.”

“You’re falling asleep, buzzard, let’s go home.” He heard laughter in her soft voice. 

“As if you won’t just get home and start cross-checking every single one of the phrases on your ‘potential problem’ list.”

She chuckled, walking over to him. “Fine. We’re both perfectionist work whores. Doesn’t mean we don’t need sleep.”

“I know you too well to believe you’re actually going to sleep.”

“All right, you win. Come home now, I’ll make some food, and you can put me to bed.” She winked saucily at him, leaving very little doubt what putting her to bed would entail, and he was up out of his chair in seconds. 

“Hand over your computer, Fireheart,” he grinned as they walked into the small house they shared on the outskirts of the city. 

“What?”

“Your computer, love. I’m leaving both of our work bags on the shelf by the front door so we can actually catch some rest tonight.” He pressed a finger to her mouth to silence her protests. “Uh-uh, Ae, we have interviews tomorrow and I won’t let the genius behind this program’s flawless word-to-word be anything but well-rested.”

She sighed, but he saw the love in her eyes. “Here, then, my dear brilliant software engineer. Leave your notebook, too, because I know if it’s anywhere near you, you’ll be up at three in the morning scribbling blocks of gibberish and picking apart your faultless code until you go insane.”

Both of their work satisfactorily put aside, Aelin made good on her promise to cook Rowan dinner. 

And then he made very good on his promise to put her to bed. 

The next morning, they were both awake with the sunrise, content to lay curled in each other’s arms as the morning light spread across their room.

Rowan drifted back into sleep, waking for good when he caught a whiff of coffee from the kitchen’s direction. 

“Morning, you sleepy buzzard,” Aelin grinned, sipping from her mug.

Rowan dropped a kiss on her head as he reached for his mug. He took a long drink, sighing as the milky, sweetened caffeine hit his mouth. 

“I will never understand how you drink your coffee black, Fireheart.”

“Not all of us need to sweeten the hell out of coffee to drink it, Ro. Maybe if you can’t handle the real thing, you should go back to your pretty little cups of crappy cafe tea.”

“Mention my pretty little teacups again, Ae…”

She giggled. “You be quiet and drink your coffee-flavored milk, my love.  We both know you’re impossibly grumpy until you have caffeine in your veins.”

He grumbled something unintelligible as he drank his coffee.

They were nearly late to work that morning, even having planned an extra half hour to arrive, thanks to Aelin wearing what Rowan dubbed her “sexy professor suit.” She fixed the pins in her French twist in the car, making herself once again a portrait of professionalism, and slipped Rowan’s hand from her leg.

“Two hands on the wheel, Whitethorn.”

He pouted. “But I’m a safe driver and I want to hold your hand.”

“My hands are over here, love, not down by my skirt.”

When he pulled into his spot, Aelin closed her eyes and took a deep, slow breath. 

“You good, Fireheart?”

Gods, she loved hearing him call her that. “Yeah. I just…needed a moment to settle myself. To tell myself the cameras aren’t here to tear apart what I say.”

Rowan wrapped his hands around hers. “Dr. Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, the bland reporters are here to stand in awe of your expertise. Not a single word you say will come across as anything but brilliant and beautifully said.”

She squeezed his hands, her usual confidence returning. “I love you, buzzard.”

“I love you too, Fireheart. Let’s go talk about our amazing achievement.”

The day sped by in a blur of reporters, interviewers, teleprompters, practiced speeches, lights, cameras, and crew. When the last bleached-blonde anchor of the last interview of the day cut her crew’s cameras, Aelin flopped against her second-in-linguistic-command, Dr. Nehemia Ytger, the expert on ethnic African languages. 

“If I never see a news crew again, it’ll be too soon,” she sighed. “I’m beat.”

Nehemia snickered. “But we’re done talking about how proud we are that Maeve and her marvelous company have done such a grand service to the world.”

Aelin snorted softly. “Right. And now we servicepeople want to go home and take off our heels.”

“Amen to that.”

As the team filed out of the studio, Rowan made his way over to Aelin. “Holding up?”

“Not anymore,” she said, leaning casually into his side. “My heels are killing me, there’s a hairpin stabbing into my scalp, and I really, really need to pee.”

Rowan laughed, deep and husky. “Let’s get you home, then.”

“I’m stopping in the bathroom first.”

Just before she left the ladies’ room, Aelin heard voices in the break area. Familiar voices--Rowan’s, Maeve’s, and the snippy, borderline whiny tones of Remelle Frelau, who worked in the marketing department and had a hell of a boner for Rowan. 

“--looking at revenue over--” Maeve’s voice cut out, but from the gasps of the other two, the revenue was through the roof. 

“And it’s all thanks to this genius here,” drawled Remelle, who if Aelin had her guess was probably clinging onto Rowan like a platinum-blonde leech. 

“Ms. Frelau, this was the product of a team. No single person could possibly have made it happen alone.”

“Oh, call me Remelle, or even better Remy. And you’re the team leader, so you practically did create it by yourself.”

Aelin snickered to herself. Vapid bitch had no idea what she was saying. 

“That’s not how teams work, Ms. Frelau. We wouldn’t be here without Dr. Galathynius and Dr. Ytger’s language expertise, not to mention the creative genius of the engineers, graphic designers, linguists, and programmers.”

“Ms. Frelau, though her judgment is clearly biased, has a point, Mr. Whitethorn,” Mave said. “You demonstrated remarkable collaborative leadership qualities throughout this project, and I fully expect that you will continue to do so.” Maeve’s heels clicked away. Rowan’s voice followed her.

“Thank you, Ms. Ond, but I have to credit Dr. Galathynius--”

“Will you stop kissing that woman’s ass?” snorted Remelle. “Gods, she’s not worth your time or your praise; all she does is translate words into different languages and you idiots drool over that like it means anything.”

Aelin jerked like she’d been slapped. She knew Remelle was a self-centered, shallow, spiteful bitch, but she hadn’t known she would do this.

“--did more for this project than you and your useless whiteboard of catchphrases,” growled Rowan. 

“I don’t care what she ‘did for the project,’ Rowan, she’s never going to be good enough for you.”

“Thank you for caring about my welfare, Frelau, now please kindly fuck off.”

Aelin chose that moment to saunter out of the bathroom and head straight for Rowan, her face showing no hint of having heard that conversation. She did note with satisfaction Remelle’s vain attempt to march out of the room with some semblance of dignity. Too bad her heel caught on the seam of the hallway carpet and the break room’s tile flooring and she had to grab the doorframe to keep from collapsing. 

“You’re awfully quiet, Aelin.”

“Just thinking. Processing, really. It’s been a hell of a day.”

Rowan nodded. “I bet.”

“And hearing fucking Remelle rip into me for being useless…didn’t make it better.”

“Shit, you heard that?”

“Yeah. I heard that.” Her voice was hollow. 

Rowan pulled into their driveway and shut off the engine. Reaching across the console, he cupped Aelin’s face in his hands. “Aelin. You are brilliant. You are terrifyingly smart. You are a force of nature. Nothing, nothing you will ever do is useless. Don’t let that jealous bitch make you think you are less than the perfect woman.”

She smiled tentatively at him. “She…she told me before that last interview that I could never be enough for you. Because you--because of Lyria.”

Rowan raked a hand through his hair. “Ae, can we talk about this inside?”

That night, he told her about his former fiancé, Lyria. He told her about their whirlwind romance, their youthful dreams. He told her about the horrific crash that stole away Lyria’s life. A drunk trucker, a narrow pass in the mountains. He showed her the box in which he kept all the memories of that life. He cried. Aelin cried. He curled against her, let her comfort him.

“Sometimes, I wish she was still here. She’d understand everything. She always did.”

Aelin had no response. She let Rowan fall asleep, his weight shifting off her and into his bed, and looked through the box. Everything she saw served as another reminder that this was the first woman he loved, the woman who understood everything. 

She was worthy of him. 

But was Aelin?

The more she looked at Rowan and Lyria’s happiness, the more the answer solidified. 

No.

When Rowan woke up the next morning, Lyria’s box sat on Aelin’s side of the bed, a side that had not held Aelin.

He glanced out the window.

Her car was gone.

He got up and frantically paced through the house.

Everything she’d brought into his home was gone.

As was she.

~

Present day. 

Rowan opened his front door mechanically, pulled off his shoes, dropped his work backpack on its shelf, and was halfway to his bedroom before he realized he’d just opened his front door. His front door that was always locked. 

Someone was in his house.

Someone who either had a duplicate key or insanely good lockpicking skills.

Exactly one person owned a duplicate key to his house.

Aelin.

That’s impossible, she lives in Orynth, she can’t be here, he told the traitorous part of his brain that leapt with joy at seeing Aelin’s face again.

He turned around and made his way through the kitchen--nobody there--to the living room. He flicked on a lamp, casting a soft light around the room.

And nearly had a heart attack.

Aelin Galathynius sat on his couch. 

For a moment, he just gawked at her. She looked so…different. Older. Gone was the infectious smile that had captured his heart. Dark shadows smeared under her eyes, testament both to the long hours she devoted to her work and to recent sleepless nights. She was twisting a ring on her right hand, a familiar sign of her nerves. From his angle, Rowan could see a hint of dark script on her wrist. A tattoo. The Aelin he knew didn’t have tattoos.

“I’m not a ghost.” Her voice, weary and hollow, broke the tense silence.

Rowan crossed the room, propped an arm on the fireplace. “Why?”

“Why am I here? Why did I leave? Why did I cut you out of my life?”

“Everything.” He couldn’t keep the waver from his voice, but his eyes burned into hers.

She took a steadying breath. “I’m here to apologize, first of all. I’m here to face what I ruined and to try and start mending it. I’m here to come to terms with everything I broke when I left three years ago.”

Whatever he’d expected her to say, it certainly wasn’t that.

“I’m sorry, Rowan. I’m sorry I left like that. I was…I was scared.”

“You can’t just run away from your fears, Aelin!” He couldn’t keep the frustration from his tone. “You can’t just abandon someone when you have a bad day!”

“I’m sorry! I know I shouldn’t have left! I know I can’t run from my fears; I’ve spent the last three years trying and fucking failing to do that! But I don’t know what else to do.”

“Saying something about it would have been a good first step.” 

“I’m bad at emotions, Rowan. I tried. It wasn’t enough.”

“That’s not a good enough excuse.”

Aelin flicked a tear from her face. “I know.” Her shoulders slumped. “I’m so sorry, Rowan. I should never have left. I let some stupid comment root into my head and make me doubt myself. I made myself believe I would never be good enough for you. I left you. I loved you, and I still left you. I still love you, even though I’ve tried to suppress it. I can never make up for that. I…I just wanted to tell you how much I’ve regretted that horrible decision all these years. I want you to be happy, Rowan, I--”

“How am I supposed to be happy without a source?” He’d dropped onto the couch, close enough to touch her but still keeping his distance.

“What?”

“You didn’t just take yourself away, Aelin. You were my happiness. I’ve spent three fucking years trying to make myself believe I’m better without you in my life, and I can’t.”

She was unabashedly crying by that point. “What do you want me to do? How can I make up for abandoning you?”

“Stay.”

Her gaze locked onto his, both of their eyes pooling with tears.

“Stay with me, Fireheart.”

“But--”

“I never stopped loving you either.”

A choked sob ripped out of Aelin. Rowan couldn’t hold himself in check any longer; he reached out and tugged her gently into his arms. To his shock, she didn’t resist, burying her face into his chest as sobs shook her shoulders. When she calmed, he tilted her chin up.

“Will you stay, Aelin?”

“Yes. Even though I will never deserve your forgiveness, yes.”

~

Translations:

* = “that pinched old whore who couldn’t convince a dick to come within ten metres of her if she dressed up provocatively” (Italian)

** = loosely translated as “Fucking hell, I can’t get drunk off this garbage.” (in order, Russian (badly phonetically spelled out because Rowan POV), Spanish, German, Spanish again, French) (the Russian doesn’t directly translate, so it could mean several different variations of expletive)

~

Might there be a second part? Perhaps......

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

I propose a new rule for action film franchises.  Let’s call it the Settle Down There, Edgelord Rule.

Say you have a franchise--let’s use the Bond films as an example--where every single film, the fate of the entire fucking world hangs in the balance.  No matter what got accomplished in the last film, they’re right back at it in this film, having to save the entire world again.  But somehow, the stakes have to be higher than the last time, or it starts getting harder to get audiences back for more of the same, because it starts feeling really repetitive.

“Why’ve you dragged me back in from my life of sordid semi-retirement, M?” asks James fucking Bond. “Is it yet another doomsday device in the hands of a madman?”

“We should be so lucky, 007,” says Q, handing James Bond a fountain pen that is also a doomsday device. “This time it’s a doomsday device in the hands of two madmen, both of whom have extremely personal scores to settle with you.”

“Well in that case, I suppose I can hardly say no,” James Bond sighs wearily, already longing for the days when it was only a single madman with perhaps a nuclear warhead or two who harbored a vague and academic disapproval of spies in general.

The problem with the ever-rising stakes is that eventually it does become a bit ridiculous.  Remember when Fast and the Furious was about stealing consumer electronics for money?  And now barely eight movies later they’re stealing nukes and driving to space and somehow John Cena is involved?  Another two movies and they’ll be doing donuts on the moon to save earth from being blown up by previously-unmentioned alien conquerors.

So every so often, let’s say every third movie, writers should have to hit a reset button.  Not on the action or the mayhem or the actors’ intensity or whatever it is that gets eyes on screens and butts in seats.  Just, you know.  The stakes.

“Why’ve you dragged me back in from my life of sordid semi-retirement, M?” asks James fucking Bond. “Is it yet another doomsday device in the hands of a madman?”

“We should be so lucky, 007,” says Q, handing James Bond a fountain pen that is also a doomsday device. “This time the madman’s made off with one of the Queen’s corgis.”

“What?” James Bond demands, aghast. “How could you let this happen?”

“Their dog grooming credentials were impeccable. They passed every security check.  They’d have been allowed to groom Her Majesty herself,” M tells him grimly. “There’s something you should know, Bond.  It was... it was Trixie.”

“Not Trixie,” Bond gasps.  The look on his face is that of a man having a flashback to ‘Nam. “What do they want for her safe return?”

“That’s the sticky wicket, Bond,” Q volunteers, waving vaguely at a wall that begins playing a video.

On the wall, Willem Dafoe cuddles a corgi and stares dead-eyed at the camera.  When he speaks, it’s in an accent that’s vaguely Germanic but not like, enough to make any trade partners really mad about it.

“Trixie is such a good dog.  Such a good girl!” He looks at the dog, face becoming animated and warm. “Who’s a good girl?  Is it you?  It is you!  You’re a good girl!”

He looks back at the camera, eyes once again blank as a shark’s.

“I think, my friends, that Trixie is too good a dog for the rotting corpse of an empire that she was whelped into.  I shall take her with me, and together we shall venture into a brave new world of grassy farms with plenty of room to run and many, many children with which to play.  If you redeem yourselves, perhaps you shall live to see this world that I shall make.  Perhaps you shall live to go... to the dogs!”

The video cuts as he rubs the corgi’s ears and gives her a treat.

“That absolute bastard!” Bond snarls, hurling the fountain pen doomsday device across the room. “Tell me you have something to go on!”

And then we’re off to the races, with typical Bond-level shenanigans, fights, and body counts. 

It’s only that instead of having to come up with a scenario which is somehow more important or more dangerous than the last movie, which was already threatening to kill a billion people or knock the planet off its axis or whatever, it’s just a scenario in which everyone is really, really emotionally invested.

And before anyone starts up with the “these sorts of action-movie shenanigans are only reasonable with incredibly high stakes” argument, let me remind you that by the time they need this proposed intervention, we have already hit patently unreasonable situations and behavior.  Like, these are not reasonable people who are just in it for a boatload of money and somehow fell ass-backwards into a Bond villain scheme for making it.  They didn’t join the rotary club and oops their way into a series of flamboyantly homicidal consultation gigs.

If we can buy somebody going completely balls-to-the-wall, conspiracy-of-thousands, weirdo-cult-aesthetics, murdered-my-own-parents all-in on *checks notes* basically being the CEO of a slightly more criminal than usual international conglomerate that required precisely none of that? If we can buy the iron-jawed goons fist-fighting a guy who’s essentially at this point the goddamned terminator for a generous hourly wage?

Then I think we can buy a weirdo-cult-aesthetics conspiracy-of-thousands megalomaniac who just really, really likes that goddamn dog, or hates the protagonist, or wants to share the daguerreotype of Abraham Lincoln’s penis with the world as the Great Emancipator would have wanted, and the shadowy government-bankrolled action-hero forces driven by fate to stand in their way.

It’s not any less reasonable, anyway, and then when the next movie comes out you can go back to saving New York City from a nuke or Paris from a weather-control device or whatever and no one will be like "well this is a step down from the pageantry of the previous installment.”

I should add that there’s no reason the Settle Down There, Edgelord Rule can’t be applied to any sort of serial media.

Your doom-and-gloom tv show just keeps fighting worse and worse villains every single season?  Why not take a break next season and fight a homeowner’s association instead of an artistic serial killer?  Go on a hard-fought, poorly-lit, grim-and-gritty slog through the byzantine process of figuring out which impound lot the Impala got towed to after a bullshit parking ticket. 

Instead of having your teenage characters grapple with Even Worse Demons, they can just, like, egg their principal’s house when it turns out he’s a normal human-level petty tyrant and not a master vampire.  Your nemesis figured out your secret identity, and instead of trying to kill your family or whatever, they hacked your facebook account and friended all your obnoxious relatives/coworkers/friends-of-friends and are embarrassing you in public, and now you have to go on a ridiculously convoluted and dystopian spirit quest to get The Zuck Himself to reset your password.

The possibilities are endless!  Unless you keep ratcheting things up, anyway, in which case you’re eventually and inevitably going to wind up fighting Satan, then God, then Worse God, then Satan’s Dad, Which Is Somehow Not God? Don’t @ Us, Our Mythological Research Prior to Writing This Was Confined to Metal Albums and American Horror Films.