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natsbaby · 4 years ago

Text

Whoops..

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Stark!Dumbass!Reader

Summary: Tony finally lets you join a simple mission with your [secret] girlfriend but honestly, what could go wrong?

Warnings: drinking, men wolf whistling and cheering for Nat, fire building

A/N: got this idea from a convo I had with @nuggiesyum so this is for you! HAHA this is so unedited that i dont even know how many words this is but i hope you like it!

“Dad come on! Im ready!” You whine as you follow Tony into a conference room where the rest of the Avengers are waiting.

“You’re not ready yet and America’s Ass hasn’t cleared you yet” he argues back, smirking at some snickers and chuckles from the rest of the team.

“What’s wrong? Is this about Y/N’s training?” Nat asks curiously as you sit on a chair besides her, huffing in annoyance.

“She wants to go on the info recovery mission but she’s not ready yet” Tony explains while pulling up the files from that mission.

“Come on Tony, Y/N/N’s been training all her life and you should give her a shot” Wanda shrugs as she leans back onto her chair, intertwining her fingers with Vision who’s sitting besides her on her left. You look at the witch gratefully, then turn to your father with a glare.

“I agree, I think Y/N’s ready for the info recovery mission” Steve says, letting out a grunt as you tackle him causing the both of you to fall onto the ground making everyone laugh.

“Thank you Stevie!!” You grin widely at the 100 year old fossil making him chuckle, patting your back gently.

You’ve always seen him as an older brother figure ever since Tony introduced you to the team when you were 11. Now as a dashing 23 year old woman who’s been training with the boys ever since Tony adopted you, all you want to do is join in on the fun with missions and maybe world saving. Since you’re adopted, your brain isn’t as smart as Tony but you’ve come reasonably close as someone who isn’t blood related. Your specialties include electrical and software engineering, weapon shooting and a little background on medicine to take care of your ex-assassin girlfriend.

Despite being intellectually smart, Tony’s main reason of not letting you join in on missions is because of how unreasonably clumsy and careless you are, or would say “your book intellect never matches your street intellect”.

He would argue that there isn’t a day when something goes wrong because of your carelessness or clumsiness. Though he does acknowledge your skills and talents so that’s why he just gives you a sigh, writing your name onto the mission report. You gasp as he writes your name, however cuts you off the moment you open your mouth.

“BUT!” You let out a sad ‘oh’ knowing where this is leading. “You’re not going alone, can you make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid Romanoff?”

You try your genuine hardest to stop the grin from forming on your face as you get off Steve, your girlfriend smirking a little. “Of course Stark, I’ll make sure your princess is coming home safe and sound”

You sit down besides her again, smiling at her a little as she returns the smile back. No one, except for Wanda, knows about your relationship. You do intend on telling at least Tony eventually but since you two just started dating half a year ago, you didn’t see the use just yet. You told Nat however that if you both agree that your relationship is going somewhere, that’s when you plan to tell Tony in which she agrees with your compromise.

As the meeting officially starts, you can’t help but start to get excited for what’s about to come. The meeting is just about plotting different missions for the month and seeing who’ll do which. As Steve and Tony starts talking about your mission, you can’t help but cock your head a little at the description.

“Who’s gonna sing?” You ask, seeing that one of the character descriptions for the info recovery mission is about a singer who performs in a Singer Night Club. You see Nat who’s trying to cover her smirk besides you, making you stare at her for a bit as you try to connect the dots. Once you do after a few seconds, you gasp loudly making Nat laugh and mutter ‘there you go’ under her breath.

“No way”

“You didn’t know? You’ve known me for years detka” she teases you, making Tony chuckle.

“Seems like the little princess forgot our Russian ex-assassin is a woman of many talents” Tony smirks, making your jaw drop at your revelation.

“Oh this would be so much fun”

You’re currently in the bar, taking a sip of your margarita as you scan the audience in front of you. Based on the mission description, the night club is pattered to the 20s and everyone from the workers to the actual audience would dress up like the people in that era. Your job is to make sure the night club isn’t a facade to whatever sketchy things could happen. Tony kept telling you and Nat to make sure no one engages if there is any kind of mafia activity, but who is he kidding honestly this is you.

You’re currently dressed in a gorgeous floral and baby pink button down blouse, tucked in a mid shin length dark blue skirt with a little black belt, hat, and kitten heels to match. You also came in with a long and black trench coat that’s currently draped over your shoulders, accessorized to the nines with your silver but simple bracelet, diamond earrings and rings. You fiddle with the necklace Nat gave you around your neck as you take off your trench coat to drape over your arm as the crowd starts to form.

“You ready?” You mutter softly as you adjust the little hat on the top of your head, hearing a soft ‘yea’ from Nat through your coms. You smile a little as you find a table, sitting down on the seat when the curtains open to see Nat on stage. Your eyes widen as the patrons cheers and wold whistles their hearts out, getting louder as the piano starts to play “You Dont Own Me” by Lesley Gore.

Nat’s dressed in a silver sequence deep v dress with a matching little hat, sparkling and shining on stage as she starts to sing. Your jaw drops as she sings, making you forget what you’re doing in the first place. You watch her with a love sick expression as you watch your girlfriend sing the sexiest song you’ve ever heard, making you lean forward a bit resting your elbows on the table, allowing you to rest your chin on the palms of your hands.

What you didn’t notice is Nat’s cues on where she sees the person you’re after. She didn’t hear anything from the coms despite her cues, allowing her eyes to trail over the audience to see you basically floating in cloud mine with heart eyes. She tries not to break out of character as she walks down the stage, making the men go insane. She pretends to flirt and rile the men up as she makes her way towards you, kicking you on the leg discretely to get your attention back.

You jolt a little, blinking in shock as you see Nat right in front of you giving a knowing look as she turns counter-clock wise and walks back on stage as the song is about to finish. You turn your head little at the direction she turned to see the mafia boss standing up and leaving. You frantically gracefully get up, following the mafia boss to see what’s going on.

“I know I’m sorry!!” You whine as you follow your girlfriend to the quinjet post mission with the night club being up in flames behind you. You two barely made out of it alive after you followed the mafia boss who apparently bugged the place to be set on fire to cover their tracks. Luckily, everyone’s safe and sound, and were brought to the hospital to make sure they’re alright.

Nat however was not happy with what happened and is now looking at you with her eyes narrowed at you and arms crossed. “Things could have gone so much worse if you were just paying attention you know”

“Yea but look everyone’s safe and no one told us it would have been bugged!” You explain, pouting at your girlfriend as you walk up to her, standing in front of her.

“You shouldn’t zone out like that in a middle of a mission Y/N, so many things could have gone south so quickly” your girlfriend sighs, knowing she can’t stay mad at you forever. She wraps her arms around your waist, bringing you into her arms as she hugs you, your face nuzzled into her neck.

“I know Natty, I’m sorry” you mumble as you wrap your arms around her for a hug. You feel her hands rubbing your back up and down, soothing you a little.

Nat pulls back a little, holding you by the shoulders so she could look at you. “What happened back there?”

“You were so hot and pretty and I love you” you mumbled softly, pouting a little as your girlfriend laughs. “Not funny!”

“I know, I know I’m sorry” she laughs as she cups your cheek gently, rubbing your cheek affectionately with the pad of her thumb.

“You looked like a love sick puppy back there” she smiles teasingly making you grunt in response.

“You’re hot. It’s not my fault.”

“I know baby”

“Will you tell dad about what happened?”

“Everyone in the compound already knows”

“Whoops..”

#natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romonova #natasha romanov x reader #avengers x reader #tony stark x stark!reader #natasha romanoff x stark!reader

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iseeskiesofblueandcloudsofwhite · 4 years ago

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Pumpkin Man

Andrew thought he got rid of the man he suspected had an affair with his wife. Little did he know that he problems only started to take root in his backyard.

Chapter One

Andrew

May 16, 2021. It will be the day I forever regret. The day I killed my Robert Norstrum. He was a co-worker of Stacy, my wife. They worked at a local home depot at a town over, she worked in the garden section while he worked in electrical. He was a short man with piercing blue eyes and dark black hair who always had something clever to say and chose the most annoying way to say it. I know that I could be rough around the edges, not as easy going as some but that didn’t mean that he needed to bother my wife. I am a good father to our child and got a degree in software engineering so I could pay for our beautiful house with a garden that Stacy loved. Our home that we made was the perfect slice of heaven

There was nothing extraordinary about Robert that I could see, but I could see that my wife thought of him differently. Initially, when she spoke about him, her eyes would light up. Eventually she caught on to my disgust for him and just mentioned him on occasion, but at that point only the slightest mention would send me in a bad mood. And then there were the lapses of time I didn’t know where she was. She said she was going out to the store or out for a walk, but all I could imagine was her talking and giggling with that man with the blue eyes. When I mentioned it to her, she said that I was paranoid. The feeling was similar to that of right before one gets a head cold. You can sense something is off, but can’t quite put your finger on it. I remember my growing anxiety that I might lose my house, my wife and my kid along with everything I worked so hard to accomplish.

That day Robert Nostrum showed up at my door looking for her. It was in the middle of the day and I was working from home at that time taking my lunch. Stacy took Talyor, our daughter, on a playdate, and would not be back for hours. He said that he was dropping off a mums, and a giant pumpkin plant that she had been eyeing. I remember looking at the plant and thinking that I was the only man that should be giving Stacy gifts. I led him down into the basement where I said I had electrical problems and needed another man’s eyes on it. From there it was quite simple, while he was looking at the electrical work I hit him on the back of the head with a crowbar. There was no struggle as he seemed to be in shock. He fell to the floor and as I bludgeoned his face until it was unrecognizable. From there wrapped his body in an old carpet and put it in a wheelbarrow. It was in the middle of the day and I knew that most of the neighbors were at work in upper class suburbia. I emailed work quickly citing a family emergency so I could deal with the remains. My backyard also had a thin veil of trees from one property to the other making it difficult to see adjoining properties unless one was intent on looking. I dug a deep grave in the freshly tilled soil of the garden rather fast. Where the tiller did not reach I used a pick ax to loosen the dirt, the wet spring soil easily breaking under my shovel . I dug it much deeper than anyone would ever uncover. I knew I would tell Stacy next year that the garden would have to be moved next year and make some excuse that there was better light in other places of the lawn, but changing the location of the garden now would be too much work without a better cause. After digging the grave, I simply dumped the body in with the pumpkin plant that he came with. It was almost chilling to see that after I put back the earth around the grave, that it looked no different than the garden surrounding it. I cleaned the mess in the basement. Taking his car and I drove it to a local deserted park wearing plastic gloves to make sure I left no fingerprints. By the time Stacy was home with Taylor, so I told her that I had taken a short walk around town and I would be back in a few hours. That was the last I thought Robert Northstom would bother me, my wife or my daughter but I was horribly wrong.

Chapter Two

Stacy

Stacy looked outside the french windows as the crisp fall air touched her face. It wasn’t really cold, but the air was definitely getting drier and she could feel a sense of autumn wrapping its arms around her. Stacy could hardly believe it was autumn. It seemed like just yesterday that it was the start of the season at the store and she was laying out new plants that had just sprouted. That was when Robert kept her company at the store. He was nothing more than a friend but a real close one and his absence along with the socialization that Stacy got from working made Stacy feel uneasy transitioning back home. Stacy always found the adjustment back to full time stay at home mom overwhelming, but this year it seemed to hit even more. Taylor and her family were her life but Andrew had a tendency to be distant and Taylor could be a handful. Work sometimes seemed a lot less complicated than her home life.

Stacy savored the few moments before Taylor, her five year old, woke up and started creating havoc in the house with her toys. She could hear that her husband Andrew had already started working upstairs on his computer. He didn’t say a word to her this morning, but that was the way things usually were. He wasn’t distant when they first started dating, Stacy couldn’t really put her finger on it when they stopped saying good morning to each other, but now that was just the way it was. Stacy walked into the kitchen and started making breakfast with Edgar, the cat closely at her heels. Stacy was barely done with the eggs when she heard Taylor clomping down the stairs.

“Mommy!’ Taylor cheered as she entered the kitchen. She squatted down near Edgar and gently pulled his tail. Immediately Edgar scrambled out of the kitchen.

“Taylor, don’t pull his tail. That hurts him.” Stacy said.

“I’m sorry Mommy.” Taylor muttered, sitting in her chair.

“What do you want to do today? We could go to the farm and go for a tractor ride. Does that sound fun?” Stacy asked.

“Scarecrow!" Taylor exclaimed, pointing out the windows towards the garden.

This year the garden was a bust. Every plant Stacy planted died almost immediately as if the land was intentionally salted. The death had also creeped a little in the yard right up to the house resulting in a horrible looking yard. Stacy was sure it was just a bad grub problem this year, but then, in the middle of July, a pumpkin plant started to flourish in the garden. It soon consumed the barren garden with cascading leaves and pulsating veiny stems.

Since it was the only plant growing in the garden the pumpkin plant demanded the attention of the garden. In the middle of the vegetation lay a single pumpkin. It was not a huge pumpkin, slightly bigger than one’s head.

“Ok, we can do that.” Stacy knew Andrew should probably be included in the family activity, but he never seemed interested with any of the plants this year.

He even mentioned killing the plant and starting afresh making a new garden, but Stacy and Taylor would not allow it.

Stacy and Taylor walked out into the garden. The strong early autumn sun warmed the air but the dryness was still there. Taylor pranced out in the lawn already distracted by the sunshine and the earth. Stacy went into the garage grabbing paper, a pencil, cutting utensils, an old flannel shirt, jeans and gloves. Walking back to the house Stacy grabbed paints and a paintbrush. Painting was much more safe than carving knives.

“Andrew, we are going to make a scarecrow. I was wondering if you were free to help me cut off the stalk?”

“Umm.. sure. I will be there soon” Andrew mumbled.

Stacy walked out in the yard and helped Taylor gather leaves for the scarecrow’s body. Andrew came out to the yard a few minutes later with a knife.

“Daddy!” Taylor ran to Andrew. Andrew threw the knife a safe distance away and grabbed Taylor spinning her in the air.

Stacy looked at both Andrew and Taylor with the backdrop of their house. Everything about their life was picture perfect at this moment as she joined her family in an embrace.

“We are going to make a scarecrow today?’ Andrew asked, dropping Taylor and picking up the knife again.

“Yes, Scarecrow!” Stacy cheered.

Stacy noticed Andrew's face became firmer when he looked at the garden. He picked up the knife in his hand and walked towards the pumpkin. Sitting down, Andrew sliced the stem.

Errikkk

A distant scream cried out that sounded like it came a few houses over. The knife barely made an abrasion on the stalk.

“Mommy, I’m scared.” Taylor cooed.

“It’s ok baby.” Stacy said.

Andrew readjusted the pumpkin and tried again.

Ahhhh

Another distant scream seemed to vibrate out of the ground. This time the knife made a cut an inch deep.

“Stop!” Taylor shrieked, running towards the house. Stacy looked toward Andrew.”

“Is that noise coming from the pumpkin?” Stacy questioned.

“Don’t be silly, those sounds aren’t coming from the plant. I will get it.” Andrew grumbled.

Stacy turned to get Taylor back in the house listening to the continued screaming coming from outside until she entered the house. In the house, Taylor was in the living room watching Andrew cut the pumpkin.

“It’s ok. The pumpkin plant can’t feel anything.” Stacy reassured Taylor.

They watched Andrew cut the pumpkin off it’s stalk and cut a hole for the pole. The way here was something rough about him when carving the object, the way that he even held the pumpkin like a severed head caused Stacy shivers. After doing his diligence, Andrew walked back to the house and went back to work in his upstairs study, without saying a word

“So, paint time?” Stacy suggested.

“Yes!” Taylor squealed.

Stacy and Taylor went back to the yard with the paint supplies.

“He could be a friendly pumpkin. He could be a friend to the trees and birds.” Stacy suggested.

“Yes, he will be friendly! Here Mommy I did it.” Taylor said

Stacy gazed upon her child’s artwork. Perhaps it was friendly to a five year old, but to Stacy it had a creepy edge to it. The pumpkin had a bright red grin that reached half the span of the pumpkin like a clown mouth. His nose was a lopsided yellow triangle and above that were huge blue eyes with black pupils.

“Looks great sweetie.” Stacy said, trying to hide her aversion to her daughter’s artwork. Taylor seemed oblivious to Stacy's thoughts.

“Hello, Mr. Scarecrow.” Taylor chirped as Stacy hammered a post on the edge of the garden and assembled the body. When she was finished it was 3:30 in the afternoon.

“Ok Taylor, time to clean up and go in. I’m going to start dinner for Daddy now.” Stacy said.

“But I want to play with Mr. Scarecrow now. He has to have friends”. Taylor protested.

“You can be his friend tomorrow.” Stacy said handing Taylor paint supplies. Taylor sighed and started helping Stacy clean up.

That evening after dinner the family set down to watch TV. The sun was setting earlier and already at 7 o clock the inky blackness of night had set in. Having little attention for TV this week, Stacy wandered into the kitchen. Passing by her French windows, she noticed Edger the cat transfixed with the outside world.

“What is it Edger? Do you see a mouse?” Stacy said. Edger looked back at her, now seeing that he got her attention, Edger began crying to the outside.

“Stop it, there's nothing out there.” Stacy said as she put the dishes in the dishwasher.

Nevertheless, the cat began crying more and more, like Stacy had not heard before.

“What’s up with Edger?” Andrew asked.

“I don’t know.” Stacy said, grabbing a mask and shooing away the cat from the windows.

Quickly frisking the darkness with a flashlight Stacy didn’t see anything new in the lawn, but as her flashlight hit the pumpkin, for a split-second, Stacy could have sworn that the pumpkin had narrowed its eyes.

Chapter Three

Stacy

The next day, Stacy was rushing to clean the house. Taylor’s friend, Amanda, was coming over.

“Is Amanda here yet? I want to show her Mr. Scarecrow today!” Taylor announced, holding a few stuffed animals in her hand.

“Ok, but you need to get dressed in the clothes I laid out for you and brush your teeth.” Stacy said, feeling overwhelmed. Andrew went to get coffee for himself a half an hour ago and hadn't come back yet. She can’t really blame him; Amanda’s parents were not their favorite people. There was no one reason why she disliked Amanda’s parents, but they could be rude at times. Stacy just would rather prefer dealing with them and her daughter together rather than alone. Hearing a door slam, Stacy turned her attention to the street to see Amanda being dropped off by her parents at the curb. Stacy breathed a sigh of relief. At least the feelings she had toward Amanda’s parents were mutual. Amanda clamored out of the car and rang the doorbell.

“Amanda!” Taylor squealed. She still was in her pajamas.

The two jumped around the living room with a loud greeting.

“Ok Taylor, get your clothes on and you two can play outside.” Stacy said.

“Yes Mom.” Giving Stacy an exaggerated salute Taylor raced up the stairs to her bedroom.

Waiting for Taylor, Amanda went to the kitchen overlooking the backyard.

“What’s that?” Amanda asked

“That’s a scarecrow we made.” Stacy explained.

“Wow!” Amanda exclaimed, transfixed by the garden ornament.

“You can go out there and I’ll let Taylor know.” Stacy offered.

Amanda ran out to see the scarecrow, soon followed by Taylor after she got dressed. At first, Stacy watched the pair talk next to the scarecrow, but eventually they were prancing around him and playing with stuffed animals with him. Stacy noticed that the children never touched the scarecrow, and that he remained perfectly still like a statue. Stacy found it rather amusing. Of all the toys she had purchased for Taylor, a scarecrow made out of old clothes provided hours of entertainment. Andrew came back from his coffee run and helped clean the house. It was nearing the time that Amanda had to go, but Stacy still wanted to play with the kids before she left.

“Let's go play with the girls.” Stacy offered hugging Andrew.

“Sounds like fun, let’s do it.” Andrew replied, kissing her on the forehead. They walked out of the house to the lawn across the lawn where Stacy could only see the profile of the scarecrow still facing the house.

“Hey kids, do you want to jump in the leaves?” Stacy announced. More had fallen than yesterday and there was enough for a small child to jump in.

“Yeah!" Taylor and Amanda raced toward Stacy leaving their playthings near the scarecrow. They ran towards Stacy’s pile of leaves screaming with delight. Stacy looked at her watch Amanda’s mother would be here any minute.

“Girls, go get your stuffed animals, Amanda your Mom should be here any minute.” Stacy said.

“Ugg! Already? I want to stay.” Amanda protested.

“I am sure you guys can pick up where you left off next time.” Stacy said as she noticed Amanda’s mother come in the backyard, her eyes not moving off the phone that she had in her hand.

“Mommy, Mommy! I had so much fun!” Amanda cried to her mother.

“Mhmm that’s great honey. Come on, we have to go.” Amanda’s mother started giving a quick wave to Stacy’s family and then turned around.

“Mommy, I want to go inside. I don’t think that Mr. Scarecrow likes it that we are playing without him. We should probably stop”. Taylor announced.

“Nonsense, it's just a scarecrow. If you are tired, we will play more tomorrow,” Andrew said.

“Ok” Taylor said, running back to the house, very unlike a child that was tired.

“She left her animals out here." Andrew pointed out.

Stacy followed his gaze across the yard, to notice that the scarecrow’s head was turned, and his blue eyes were staring at them. She also noticed that the wide grin on his face started to run downwards, creating the appearance of cheeks making him more human-like.

“Was it turned in this direction the whole time?” Stacy asked.

“I don’t know. I wasn't paying attention. Amanda’s mother could have moved it.’ Andrew replied.

Stacy walked into the garden to get Taylor’s stuffed animals, but she could not shake the feeling of another being’s presence. She thought about it, then straightened the pumpkin’s head back facing the house. Leaving the pumpkin man in the yard, Stacy ran back into the house without making a second glance.

Back in the house, Stacy washed her hands and started making dinner as Taylor played with her Legos.

“So Taylor, how was playing with Amanda?" Stacy asked.

“We mostly talked and played with Mr. Scarecrow.” Taylor said uninterested in the conversation.

“What did he say to you?” Stacy questioned.

“Well, he said that he likes the eyes that I gave him but he still can’t see well. He said that Daddy is a bad man and he wants to take things from Daddy the way he took things from him. I didn’t understand it. I told him that Daddy was nice and that Daddy can share because sharing is good. Then we played but I think he got mad when we started playing with Daddy. That’s ok, I will play with him tomorrow.” Taylor said still focused on her Legos.

Stacy furrowed her brow.

“Well, I want you to play with Daddy as much as you can.” Stacy said. After she was done in the kitchen, Stacy balanced though the Legos to talk to Andrew.

“That was very strange stuff.” Stacy said.

“Children have a very active imagination, but if you want to take it down you can.” Andrew suggested. He was reading a book upstairs by himself, just as interested in talking to Stacy as Taylor was.

“But she's attached to it, I can’t just destroy it.” Stacy said.

“I don’t know, destroy it, leave it up. Doesn’t matter to me.” Andrew said not looking away from his book.

Feeling frustrated, Stacy left the room. It had always been like this- Andrew was reliable when it came to having fun with Taylor, but uninterested when it came to actual parenting.

Back downstairs, Taylor was still playing with her Legos, and Edger started his odd behavior of crying at the French doors. Stacy scooped up the cat and put him in the basement, too emotionally drained to deal with him. She told herself she would give the scarecrow three more days and then tell Andrew to get rid of it.

Chapter Four

Andrew

I have had nightmares of Robert Nordstrom ever since I killed him. Sometimes he is there in the corner of my mind, just staring at me with glittering blue eyes like his scarecrow stands in our yard. In my dreams when I try to destroy him he seems to take something of mine, like an eye or a limb. After killing him the dream would continue but I would live out my life suffering as an amputee or blind. These dreams led me to roam the house at night. I wanted to destroy that scarecrow, but I knew that it would take it’s revenge, if not on me than on my family. So I will just watch it for now. My hope is that he will rot into the soft earth he came out of, and I would never have to deal with Robert Nordstrom or his ghost again.

Chapter Five

Stacy

The next day the ground was encrusted in a light frost. Unable to sleep well, Stacy slept in the living room downstairs. The morning sun woke her up and Stacy looked out at the lawn. The first thing that drew her eye was Mr. Scarecrow, although there was nothing more different with him this morning that she could see from this distance other than the fact that one of his gloves came off. Suddenly she heard movement from upstairs and the sound of little feet.

“Baby, what are you doing this early?” Stacy asked.

“I had nightmares. You were not in your room.” Taylor replied, clutching one of her stuffed animals near her face.

Stacy scooped up Taylor and put her on her hip.

“It’s ok. I could not sleep either. What do you want to do today?”

“I want to talk to Mr. Scarecrow.” Taylor said pointing at the backyard.

“Let's do something else today. How about a hayride?” Stacy suggested.

“No, I want to talk to him”. Taylor protested.

“Err, ok, but only for a few minutes and then we are going to go to the hayride.” Stacy said, walking out the back yard as Taylor skipped next to her.

When they reached Mr. Scarecrow, it was obvious things had changed. His round pumpkin face had rotted away to reveal a more human-like skull making his eyes more sunken in. When Stacy put Mr. Scarecrow’s glove back on the stake she noticed that the wood on the stake decayed in the shape of a wrist. Taylor started to whimper and hide behind Stacy.

“Mr. Scarecrow is more angry today. He wants to hurt Daddy.” Taylor whispered to Stacy.

Stacy didn’t want to bother Andrew anymore during the day with the scarecrow.

“Let's go to the farm and take a hayride, then when we get back I will have Daddy talk to Mr. Scarecrow, Ok?” Stacy said.

She grabbed Taylor’s hand and guided her towards the driveway, frequently checking her back.

When they got home, it was almost sunset. Stacy quickly busied herself with dinner. As soon as the sun went down, Edgar started crying at the French windows.

“Edger, stop it.” Stacy muttered, grabbing the flashlight and pulling back the curtain. The night was bright and she could see the gleam of the scarecrow's head against the moon.

“Mommy, what's going on?” Taylor whined.

“Nothing babe. It’s just Edger. It’s time to go to bed.” Stacy scooped up Taylor and led her towards her room. Up on the second story, Stacy got Taylor ready for bed, opening the windows to let in the perfect autumn sleeping weather.

Thump Thump Thump

“Mommy, what's that? Is that Mr. Scarecrow outside?” Stacy looked out the window. It was hard to make anything out, but in the place of the pumpkin man there was only a stick left where he once stood.

‘Yes he is out there somewhere. Here go to bed now.” Stacy tucked Taylor in.

“Mommie”. Taylor whined.

“Taylor, nothing is going to get you here. Now go to bed,” Stacy ordered, giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek.

“Everything will be alright.” Stacy said, closing the door behind her. The house was well lit as Stacy walked down stairs. Grabbing a flashlight Stacy walked outside on the back porch and showed it to the dark lawn. Frisking the flashlight over the lawn Stacy now saw clearly the face of Robert Norstrum in the garden.

“Bob?” Stacy screeched, dropping the flashlight in the house. The light scattered and fell onto the floor breaking the bulb. Stacy raced back in the house and fumbled for a new flashlight in her cabinet, frequently keeping her eye on the yard behind her. Grabbing the flashlight in her hand Stacy undid the lock on the french windows and stepping out into the night, not noticing her husband watching her from the kitchen.

Chapter Six

Andrew

I heard her yell his name and run out into the dark. At this point there was no doubt that the pumpkin contorted to the shape of a man’s face though decay and now resembled a man with blue eyes, whether that man was Robert I had my doubts. Nevertheless, the scarecrow was bothering everyone in this house, so I had to do something. I did not intend on hurting Stacy as I walked slowly behind her, crowbar in my hand to destroy the creation that was on my property. It was only when I stopped a few yards away when I saw her reach out the thing and touch the pumpkin man’s rotten flesh. My mind raced as I realized that by removing Robert from the picture, it did not replace me in her heart. My wife was the precious thing that Robert took. As this occurred to me a numbness came upon me as I ran toward the scarecrow to destroy it. I must have tripped on a massive root in the yard while I was running toward her because the crowbar landed squalry on top of her head. She yelped in pain or surprise as she fell toward the scarecrow. The light was low, but I could see that she lay motionless around a thick spray of dark red liquid. There was no running from what I had done. Even if she were to be still alive, I would have to try to explain to people what happened - the police or the hospital or something. She was too far away from the house to claim that she fell from our bedrooms. Suddenly I saw vines emerging from the pumpkin wrapping around her body. I hurled the crowbar again and again at the pumpkin destroying it’s rotten grotesque face. I missed a few times creating a soggy pile of brains and pumpkin at my feet. When the task was complete I buried her in the garden and tilled in the pumpkin plant as much as I could. The next day I tilled the garden and called 911 to report a missing person. It wasn’t until Taylor woke up to discover that her mother had disappeared in the night that the thought of raising her alone came to me.

After a few years had gone by it was clear that Robert took more than my wife that day. Like my dreams, I now walk around mentally suffering and disfigured. My lawn is filled with pumpkin sprouts that I constantly hack with a fear that a pumpkin will appear again. On May 16, 2021 I thought Robert Northstorm was out of my life, but now he haunts me every day.

#writing #horror #short story #short fiction #horror writing #goosebumps #creative writing

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haveyoutriedrebootingit · 4 years ago

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THAT Call

So, I decided that the story behind that last item on the “Shit I got away with” post deserves retelling, or, at the very least, I want to tell it and what happened after.

The help desk I was working for at the time was run by a small contracting company that had a contract with a major company to provide tech support for that company’s internal employees. Several things that are important to understand about the situation:

This was 1996-1997, when most people did not have a personal computer at home, and rather a lot of people did not even know what the internet was.

Because of (1) above, pretty much the hiring process was “Can you sit in front of a computer without breaking into a sweat? Do you have a pulse?” and they really weren’t that picky about the pulse, because hey, night shifts.

This wasn’t a Windows environment. It was IBM OS/2, which you can really be forgiven for never having heard of*. And I don’t mean that in a particularly hipster way-- it was actually a solid OS, and given the choice I would have run it instead of Windows**, except for the fact that, y’know, I liked running software on my computer, and there just wasn’t that much for it.

Because of (2) and (3) above, the quality and expertise of the reps on the desk ranged from “we’d fire you but the next guy is likely to be just as useless” to “undisputed expert.” I was not quite, at this time, in the latter category, but I was in the top 10% or so of reps and rising.

The contract was actually based on the number of tickets that were actually resolved, rather than the number of hours worked.

The agents, on the other hand, were still paid by the hour.

Because of 5) and 6), the motivations of the agents were not necessarily the motivations of the company, so they came up with the “brilliant” idea of giving everyone a bonus based on the average number of tickets closed per hour.

Since callers often called with more than one problem, there was a very strict criteria on when you could open a second ticket (the process was known as “spinning” for some reason) for the same caller.

I know, that was a lot of context, but it sets the stage for this call and what happened after.

It started out with a pretty simple problem, and I walked the guy through it in no time at all. Ultimately, the problem was that his network cable had come loose, so I had him disconnect the cable from the back of his computer, blow on the end of it, and then do the same with end plugged into the wall, then reboot (not necessary now, but back then it was).

The caller was thrilled and said “Hey, look. I’ve got kind of an... interesting situation here. I have like 8 computers to work with, and as each one has gone wrong, I’ve just moved to the next one because... and here I’m NOT talking about you... I’ve gotten some real idiots when I call the help desk and just didn’t have the time. You, on the other hand, seem to know what you’re doing. Would you mind helping me with these others?”

So I explained to him what the policy was involving spinning tickets, and advised him that his department would be billed for each ticket. He said no problem, he was the head of his department anyway, he’d be the one to approve it.

And we got to work. By the time it was over, I think I’d spun a total of 14 tickets off the original. By the time it was all over, we were on the phone for almost two hours and we were practically friends. It was some time in ticket #13 that we’re going through another reboot (at the time, that was a 3-4 minute process), and he says to me:

“Hey. So. I’ve done what you told me because if I knew how to solve the problem myself, I wouldn’t have called you. But... I’m an electrical engineer, and I’m pretty sure that blowing on the ends of the cable does absolutely nothing.”

“Oh, that. I was just jerking you off.”

“What?”

“Well, part of the problem of my job is that I can’t see what you’re doing. And a lot of customers, when I tell them to unplug a cable and plug it back in, they’ll just, like, wiggle it, and that’s not as effective. So I tell you to blow on the end of it so you actually pull the thing out and put it back in, and I can hear that you did it.”

“That’s brilliant and I’m going to use that.”

We finish that call, and then the other, and then he asks to speak to my manager so he can say how happy he is. So I do the cubicle-farm move known as the “prairie dog”, which is where you stand up and look around to see if the person you need to talk to is there before you call them. And that’s when I get a tap on my shoulder.

A manager is standing behind me. Not the contracting manager. The manager from the company the contract is with. And he’s ashen.

“Hey, customer wants to talk to you...”

“I WOULD FUCKING THINK SO!”

And he plugs directly into my phone and listens to this guy rave about how I’m both technically proficient and excellent at customer service. And the color is returning to his face along with serious confusion. He thanks the caller, hangs up, and turns to me to explain that he’d been standing there waiting for the escalation since he was walking by and heard me tell the customer I was jerking him off.

Fun, but that’s not the end of the story. This post is already long enough, so I’m going to cover the aftermath (and the morals of the story) here.

* If you used an ATM in the late 90s/early 00s, you probably have used it but have no reason to care.

** Actually, I did have it on my personal computer, on a triple boot system with Linux and Windows 95. But... again... no software, so I didn’t actually spend much time in it at home.

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redbeardace · 5 years ago

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Quarantine 4: Stay Home

[This is a post for the May Carnival of Aces.]

So much is different now.

So much is the same.

I have been very fortunate so far. The disease hasn’t touched me or anyone close to me yet. I still have a job and am working full time. The biggest practical impact on my life is that I no longer have a daily commute.

I see other people talking about their experiences and they’re so... strange?

Someone remarked on my “8 days without human contact” sign, shocked that I hadn’t needed to go shopping in 8 days, that I must have really stocked up. But I routinely go two weeks without shopping, 8 days is nothing. I’m going on my 23rd day on this cycle and the only reason I’ll have to go shopping now is that I’m out of milk. I still have plenty of everything else.

It’s weird to me that people seem to think that having more than three days of groceries is prepper level stockpiling. And watching everyone make a run on the stores and seeing what they were grabbing was just baffling. When Cascadia puts on its big show, what are these people planning to do?

People talk about how little gas they’ve been buying lately. Welcome to my life. I have a mostly electric car and go months between fill ups.

I am truly concerned about the number of people posting “My kids are making me drink haha” jokes. Sure, maybe it’s funny for the first few days, but if you’re still saying that on day 57, I think you seriously need to step back and look at yourself and consider if maybe you have a drinking problem. Because you’ve spent two months talking about how you routinely drink in order to cope with the stress of your children, and that seems like you might have a problem.

Anyone know how to tell a bunch of my coworkers that they may be alcoholics in a tactful way...?

I’ve been telling a daily WFH joke on the company chat system. I can’t keep it up anymore. It’s gone on too long.

I’ve been making masks.

I’ve been putting hats on scarecrow owls.

I’ve been making subtle changes to the backdrop of the daily video calls for work. Yesterday it was an vintage photo of an old man, a middle aged woman, and a teenage girl who might be a timelord, standing in a field. Tomorrow it will be a jazzy picture of a roll of toilet paper with a face drawn on it.

It is named Sir Roland of Charmaine.

I ordered pizza delivery for the first time ever today. I like pizza and hate people, so how come I’ve never done this before.

I haven’t had a nasty headache in weeks.

I haven’t put on any weight.

I live alone. If I get sick, I’m going to have to take care of myself somehow. I don’t know if I’d be able to do that. There won’t be anyone to leave dinner at the top of the stairs. There won’t be anyone to take me to the hospital if things get bad.

Stuff is piling up. Like literal stuff in literal piles. My stairs are on the verge of becoming hazardous. I’m not sure where all this stuff has come from.

I’m now treating my mail as hazardous material.

If I ever had to deal with actual hazardous material, I probably wouldn’t survive.

I see all these people talking about how much time they have now. I have no extra time. I’m feeling like I’m being an unproductive loser because I’m not going to come out of this knowing how to play the mandolin in Romanian or whatever, but I don’t have newfound free time. Even the time gained back from the commute has vanished somewhere.

I have to have a timer at my desk so that I’ll stop working after 8-ish hours.

They’ve been giving me plastic bags at the grocery store because they refuse to use the reusable ones. Reminds me just how much I hate plastic bags.

I have to get my house painted. I’m kinda digging this no contact thing. I need to take advantage of it more while it lasts.

The president is still a fascist, there’s gun-toting nutjobs on the loose who aim to kill us all one way or another, and the MURDER HORNETS ARE HERE.

Seriously. The Murder Hornets are here. WTF.

I’ve mostly been in good shape. Two incidents threw me off balance.

I lost a notecard of WFH jokes. That was kind of a last straw situation, where I had to shuffle and strain to try to make a usable workspace and nothing was going right and even after a best attempt, the chair didn’t fit and I didn’t fit because I never fit and now there’s all sorts of stuff in my hallway that doesn’t belong there and what am I going to do with it all and I didn’t want to do any of this and NOW WHERE IN THE HELL IS MY NOTE CARD BECAUSE IT WAS RIGHT HERE AND I WAS CAREFUL WITH IT AND WHERE DID IT GO AND HOW DID I LOSE IT IT LITERALLY WENT SEVEN FEET AT MOST AND I’VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE AREA A DOZEN TIMES AND HOW COULD IT JUST DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT.

The latest Stay At Home order extension. I knew it was coming, but just running the calendar out based on the dates they were saying and extrapolating for the dates they weren’t saying, and coming up with the middle of July at the earliest and just...

Somehow, the loss of the Pride Parade didn’t hit me that hard. It should have.

Quarantine beards. I don’t get it. I mean, I’m lazy about shaving, but this I don’t understand. Also, I’m pretty much incapable of growing a proper quarantine beard. I grow in a month what others do in a few days.

I cut my own hair. I’ve got electric clippers. It’s really not that hard and it doesn’t involve potentially giving the plague to any barbers or pretending that democracy is threatened by my bangs getting a bit too long. Of course, I only do it about once a year. This is around the time of year that I do it, though.

I’ve worn pants every day. Regular pants. Not PJs or sweat pants. But pants pants. You all really not wearing pants? Maybe I’ll wear a skirt one day to mix things up.

I have been routinely testing my sense of smell. Haven’t lost it yet.

There’s stuff I want to do, but I don’t feel like doing any of it. There are time-sensitive projects I want to do, but I don’t really want to sit in front of the computer for the time it would take to make it happen. Because I sit in front a computer in my house all day for work now and there’s no energy left for anything more. Not that there was energy for that stuff before.

Am I supposed to support the economy by ordering from local businesses online or save the lives of delivery workers by only ordering essential things? And how come when I ordered a bunch of stuff from a place that claims they’re prioritizing essential items, the one thing that I ordered that could be considered essential was the last thing they shipped?

I had a Nigerian organized crime ring file for unemployment in my name. The state’s apparently lost millions in this scheme. I don’t understand how that can be. It seems like “Don’t Send Money To Nigeria” would be a pretty straightforward check in the system.

Oh. Wait. I’m a software engineer who’s spent my time on the quality and reliability side of the house. I can totally see something like that getting deprioritized and won’t-do’d.

Also had my credit card number stolen and used on a wild shopping spree. Not sure if that’s ‘rona-related. It’s the credit card I use for all my online shopping. So that’s all on hold at the moment.

My car battery died. I had to use a battery pack to jump it. Fun fact: I drive a plug-in hybrid, which had been plugged in this whole time. Apparently the 12v battery doesn’t get charged by the wall plug. Which seems really weird to me.

I see lots of people complaining about how they can’t have sex right now or how dating is weird. So not a problem for me.

#carnival of aces #overreactions from the outbreak

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double-daredevil · 6 years ago

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/testingTrue

hello! let’s expand this blog to Detroit: Become Human as well as my nerdy shit.

i suppose this contains a spoiler if you haven’t played through the game yet. i just finished my first playthrough, it was fun! fell in love with this bot. here is a bit of something that is meant to be part of something longer.

pairing: connor/you

words: 1.6k

He doesn’t mean to stare, it’s just a byproduct. Every waking hour he must spend analyzing, he sort of up and forgets he’s staring. He takes in every detail at first glance and yet there is always something about you he misses, and he desires more contact to learn all about your subtleties.

But is he allowed to say that? Even think it? How can an android have desires if all he was built to do was solve this case?

Connor and Hank had met you just a few days before meeting up with Kamski. As an aesthetics designer for CyberLife, you get up close and personal with each android you design. However, Hank deemed you useless to the investigation because you only design how they look and their personality maps, but aren’t responsible for any coding. Hank believes that it’s something within the coding that leaves a door open to deviancy.

And yet, the meeting was far different than any scenario Connor had planned.

“Connor, right? I recognize you. Well, I designed you, after all.”

Every moment he is active, Connor is aware he is artificial. He knows his entire existence is electricity, false neurotransmitters firing and creating ideas in his head to showcase to the world. His skin can’t feel anything except changes in pressure, he feels no pain, no agony, no stress.

But wow, was he sure anxious in your presence.

Although you design using a program on your computer, you talked about androids as though they were human. Connor was ecstatic, it was so easy and so smooth sounding coming from you, discussing the androids as people. It was apparent you worked hard to memorize the names of all the androids you designed, not just their numbers.

“I am a RK800 model, a prototype for—”

“But, what’s your name?”

“It’s— I’m Connor. What’s yours?”

Following Hank home in the rain this night was a godsend given how distressing the week had been. From meeting you, to Kamski, to refusing to shoot Chloe, it had felt like the longest week in Connor’s life.

Hank suggested something, a detour maybe, but Connor was lost in his own head and simply agreed to whatever it was. Hank kept walking and Connor kept following.

It wasn’t until they were at the door to some bar that Connor replayed the short conversation in his head and realized what he had agreed to. In that three second replay, Hank had already walked through the door before Connor could correct his mistake.

So Connor followed.

He liked having these moments outside of CyberLife HQ where he could think freely, criticize his own actions, all without the prying eyes of programmers and engineers. Hank weaseled his way past patrons and found the last two empty seats at the edge of the bar. He sat on the outermost edge, and Connor sat beside him.

Sixteen seconds passed, after the bartender glided over and took Hank’s order, Connor smelled cucumber and rose and other basic ingredients to your shampoo, but was too stunned at the thought of you that he remained silent as you turned in your bar stool to face the duo.

“Litenuent Anderson?” You ask, to nobody in particular as you swivel your chair to see them face on in the low light. “What’re you guys doing at my favorite bar?”

Connor just stares at you, basking in your lopsided smile and mussed up hair, as Hank takes the wheel in the conversation.

“Just grabbin’ a drink before signing off for the night. This is your favorite bar? What could possibly be appealing about this place?” Hank replies, gesturing behind him to the loud common area packed like a can of sardines with people.

Connor notices your smile melt into a grin as you lean on your elbows on the counter, fingertips caressing your glass. “You just kinda disappear in all the chaos and nobody cares about what you’re wearing, or what you look like, ‘cause everyone is sweaty and uncomfortable here.”

Hank lets out a chuckle and picks up his whiskey that was just placed down in front of him and gives you a mock toast. You pick up your miscellaneous cocktail, you don’t remember what you ordered, and toast back.

Connor simply sits, trying to look at you enough to see all the details he’s been missing, longing for more like because he could draw your face from memory, but also trying not to face you and seem too eager. He knows, logistically, that you probably wouldn’t even notice his staring, as you are slightly swaying in your seat, so your blood-alcohol level is at the point of tunnel vision. The bartender swoops by to check in and Connor orders a water. For you, obviously, but the bartender hesitates as he notices the blue ring on Connor’s temple. Connor holds the bartender’s gaze for four seconds until he dips behind the counter and produces a glass of ice water. He sets it down between Connor and you.

“So how are you guys doin’ in your investigation?” You slur out, leaning towards Connor a little too closely to be able to hear over the dull roar of the room. “Finding the deviants?”

Hank sighs and finishes off his glass, and holds up his hand to catch the bartender’s attention. “Something like that. Listen, I don’t wanna talk about work, but Connor would be more than happy to debrief you.”

The bartender serves Hank again and then Hank swivels slightly in his chair, only enough to turn his shoulders away and give you and Connor a little privacy. Connor knows that Hank is listening, and that he offered Connor’s conversational skills up on purpose.

After the first meeting, Connor stuttered for the first time and had delayed responses when Hank asked if he fancied you. That told Hank everything he needed to know.

You raise your eyebrows and smile at Connor, but he knows you don’t really want to talk about the investigation.

“We have little to no leads,” Connor says, matter-of-factly. “We are nearly at a dead end but Kamski gave us, what I deemed to be, a breakthrough hint.”

“Oh?” You ask, sipping the last drops of your drink. “So you, Mister Deviant Hunter, you’re gonna go and catch all them?”

Connor twists and faces you more, resting his other arm on the counter. “That is my job, yes.”

“That’s like, a lame-ass job,” you say, sitting up straighter and facing Connor completely.

He couldn’t help but smile a bit, and he thought it was cute that you were nearly trying to debate this with him. “Oh? And why is that?”

You mimicked his sly smile, perhaps it’s a reaction you get when inebriated, he thought. You’re mirroring his body language, and Connor felt somewhat… fuzzy about it.

>>Software Instability

“It’s just like, I dunno, weird to kill your own kind,” you slur, and Connor wasn’t really taking what you said to heart, then he slid the glass of water over to you.

“It’s what I’ve been programmed to do. They are criminals and deviants for going against their code, and have an increased chance to hurt humans,” Connor replies.

“Don’t you ever feel bad? Those androids are just living and responding to their environment. It’s kind of funny, y’know?” And you pause, drinking the entire glass of water and calling over the bartender to order another cocktail.

Connor watches you closely, watches the way your lips form words, how you huff air out of your mouth to clear stray hairs from you face. He isn’t paying attention to your words, he’s distracted, he would get reprimanded—

“Humans kill humans all the time, and half the time we justify it and don’t punish anyone, so like, why are you punishing androids for doing human things? Isn’t that the point? To be as human as possible?”

He hesitates. A quick playback of the last 37 seconds and he realizes you are at the inebriated point to discuss philosophy, ethics, topics that he couldn’t comment on without feeling guilty. The ring on his temple buffered red for a second before turning back to blue.

“Are you saying we should let the deviants go?”

Before you took a sip of your new drink, you stopped, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. You took in a deep breath and set your drink down. “I’m sorry,” you start. “I shouldn’t be talking like that, especially to you.”

Your gaze flits over Connor’s shoulder and he knows you looked at Hank, then you turn back to the counter and sip your drink. “I just wouldn’t be able to stomach killing anything, red blood or blue. I guess I just like you guys too much.”

You shoot him an embarrassed smile and drink more of your drink. He notices your dusty pink cheeks and can’t decide if it’s from the alcohol or your rambling, but he settles on both. His gaze falls to the counter and he watches your fingers anxiously handling the glass.

“Did I somehow just incriminate myself?” You whisper, your voice getting lost in the sounds of the room but Connor is so focused on you, he hears it.

“No,” he says back, quietly as well but still above a whisper so your human ears can hear. “You can’t be arrested for having feelings.”

You smile a little, and then look at him for one, two, three, six seconds as though you were trying to speak with your eyes. Connor held your gaze the whole time, admiring, deciphering. You broke the silence.

“Yeah,” you sigh out.

And then you look back to your drink and take a sip.

He replays the last thirteen seconds, why did you look at him like that? What were you trying to say with those mesmerizing eyes?

You can’t be arrested for having feelings.

>>Software Instability

#detroit become human #dbh #dbh connor #dbh connor scenario #dbh connor x reader #connor x reader #writing

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qqueenofhades · 6 years ago

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the alchemical wedding: chapter six

Summary: Discovery of Witches AU. When Dr. Lucy Preston, historian and reluctant witch, stumbles on an enchanted alchemical manuscript, Ashmole 782, in Oxford University’s Bodleian Library, she crosses paths with the mysterious vampire Garcia Flynn. They must work together to discover its secrets, their conflicted family legacies, and the shadowy enemies who want to claim it. As they do, they are increasingly and unwillingly drawn to each other, but that may be the most dangerous and forbidden magic of all. Rating: M Status: WIP Previous: Dinner With A Vampire

Chapter Six: Friggin’ Twilight

There were plenty of problems that Rufus Carlin was expecting to have when he went to Oxford. As a black kid from a working-class neighborhood on the West Side of Chicago, he is unfortunately used to people thinking that he doesn’t belong in elite academic spaces, and while Britain isn’t racist in the same way as America, that doesn’t mean it’s any less so. They’re bewilderingly and horrifyingly steeped in imperial nostalgia, that’s not even touching the slow-motion car crash exercise in deluded xenophobic populism that is Brexit, and Rufus has lost count of the well-meaning people congratulating him on getting out of “the estates,” by which they seem to mean the ghetto. The porters always seem to ask for his Bod card a lot more than they do with others they see regularly, and while Oxford is making efforts, black people are still something of an unusual sight. Rufus gave a talk at the Museum of the History of Science the other night, and afterward, someone still mistook him for the janitor.

That doesn’t mean Rufus regrets it. It’s obviously a beautiful city and a great opportunity, he loves his colleagues, and Mansfield College was founded by nonconformists and still sticks to a tradition of secularism, so it thankfully cuts down on the stuffy High Church Anglicanism that is part of the others. Rufus is right at home among a bunch of other skeptical, offbeat geniuses, and there’s always something fun about putting both MIT and Oxford on your resume, even if for just a moment of smug self-congratulation (and then panic about paying back your student loans). Rufus’s actual appointment is a lectureship in astrophysics, but he also does tutoring in mechanical and electrical engineering, because why not get you a man who can do both. It was in that capacity that he met Jiya Marri, a research fellow in biochemistry, and she asked if he would be willing to build some software models for a project she was working on with her – well, Rufus doesn’t remember how Professor Garcia Flynn was defined the first time the topic arose, apart from that. He was at All Souls, he was a big deal among the Posh, and it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Now – Rufus isn’t sure what it was, but a good idea is not it. After he ran away from the biochemistry building tout suite, is not sure he can go to the Science Area again without wearing several cloves of garlic around his neck, and is wondering if there are even rules about this kind of thing, he is experiencing what might be called an existential crisis. He had a pretty bad one in his senior year at MIT, melted down and shut himself in his room for days and otherwise gave into the inevitable mental crumbling of a Gifted Kid, but Connor Mason pulled him through that. Mason is the one who suggested Oxford, actually, since as a British kazillionaire he has various connections and strings and people he be knowin’, but Rufus insisted that Connor have nothing to do with his application, so he could be sure he got in on his own merits. But maybe there’s something to be said for the principle of the thing, and after two days of jumping every time there’s a breeze, Rufus is not sure what he has to lose.

Connor sounds somewhat bemused when he picks up. “Yes, hello? Rufus?”

“H-hi, Connor.” Now that he’s actually on the brink of confessing it to another person, Rufus realizes once again how utterly, totally demented it sounds. His brilliant scientist brain has been working this over, deconstructing it from every angle, and come up with countless alternative explanations. Just a shared hallucination, a severe psychological disturbance, an unfortunate commitment to cosplay, black mold in the vents, a certain kind of fungus in the food – anything, in short, to make two otherwise sane and accomplished academics convinced that they are vampires. He doesn’t think Jiya would joke about that, he believed it for a second in the lab but he was completely blindsided and panicking and he very definitely wanted to run, but… Jesus. Say this, and it’s little green men and psychedelic unicorns. Rufus is the one who will end up in a nice British mental hospital, watching reruns of Doctor Who and being fed pudding by competent butch nurses with Lancashire accents. It’s ridiculous.

[read the rest on AO3]

#timeless #timeless ff #garcy #garcy ff #lucy x flynn #the alchemical wedding #riya #all souls au

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bluevaughn · 6 years ago

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(CIS MALE ) haven’t seen BLUE VAUGHN around in a while. the CHANCE PERDOMO lookalike has been known to be (+) VERSATILE & (+) RESOURCEFUL, but HE can also be (-) EGOCENTRIC & (-) BLUNT. The 22 year old is a SENIOR majoring in SOFTWARE ENGINEERING. I believe they’re living in PEREGRINIS but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door.

hey y’all ingrid back at it w another intro bc this dumb bitch couldn’t resist picking a 3rd character, rip :// . i didn’t mean to pick up 2 caos fcs but here we are bc chance and tati are Too Perfect

so y’all should check out his pinterest board bc i love this boy sm uwu

full name: blue altair vaughn age: 22 birth date: june 30th, 1996 birth place: new york city, ny spoken languages: english, spanish

blue was the firstborn of altair and gemma vaughn, they were pretty young (only a couple years older than blue is right now) and were in the beginning of their respective careers. his dad as a record producer and his mom as an architect.

blue spent a lot of time with both of his parents and very rarely was he under the supervision of a nanny or anyone that wasn’t them. his mom worked from home, and whenever she had a meeting with a client, blue would spend the day in the studio with his dad which was his favorite thing. he was already dancing before he could even properly walk ://

when he was still a toddler his little sister was born. they’re not too far apart in age but he still likes to act like the Big Protective brother who is Always right. (( btw this will probably be a vERY wanted connection so im not saying much abt her for now:/ ))

they moved to rochester when he was probs about ...12? his dad got his own Cool Studio which was 100% designed by his mom ok,,,, he’s worked w a few Big Names but his dad is v professional abt this job and blue is almost never allowed to meet anyone Cool rip ksdkjdjkdd

in high school blue started a Shitty Band called electric (( they were originally Electric Blue bc hes lowkey a narcissistic pos but they ditched the Blue :/ )) it was him and 4 other friends, he played the guitar. they were bad. they didn’t really have a genre or anything and it was just for fun. they’d play at like school events and shit bc they were cute.

blue was kinda friends w everyone in high school?? like he’s really outgoing and can’t stick to one group or single person bc he gets bored . he was in the lacrosse team bc hes fucking ridiculous and Energetic

he loves video games but dont talk to him abt it bc idk shit abt them uwu

basically his love for video games is why he chose his major. he’s really methodical and creative which is a really helpful combo in his field. he’s mostly interested in creating apps (( watchout fakeblock ))

blue didn’t really know tatiana?? like they weren’t close or friends or anything he probably spoke to her twice

b U T his ex did end up cheating on him with her at some point so when the time came, he was still lowkey pissed and butthurt and didnt think twice before voting for tatiana.

which he obVIOUSLY deeply regrets bc hes now aware tatiana wasnt to blame for anything :/

he still has his band, theyre down to just 3 members tho. hes still playing guitar. theyre still not That Great but at least they have a sound. some indie pop , electropop, alt rock. kinda like.... the 1975 and bleachers ... u get the idea.

and yea idk what else !! this is p much it !! come plot w me !!! check out his board !! thanks

some wc’s !!

ill probably send a wc to the main for this but his baby sister !! shes like 18-21 and attends lockwood. theyre tight.

friends from hs ? ? ? enemies ?? someone that thought he was a fake bitch ?? an attention hoe ??

hes still playing lacrosse for lockwood so !! teammates !! or anything to do w the team idk

honestmeme... give me his other 2 bandmates :// they dont have to know each other since high school its ok if they met in lockwood

a roommate!!!

some1 he plays video games online with mayb

fwb’s !! past hook ups !! hes a hoe !! and he’s espeCIALly a hoe for woc can u blame him :/

ummm ?? idk maybe like cousins would also be lit !

i want a stupid but wholesome boi squad who share memes w each other and roast each other in a group chat but then just have sleepovers and they spend the whole night playing online dress up games and mario kart,,, we dont have time for toxic masculinity :/

anything else just plot w me thanks !

u can message me on @bowics or here or ask me for my dicks cord bc too many tumblr ims stress me out thanks !

#water:intro #about

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aryacollegeofengineering · 3 years ago

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Important Things to know How Technology can replace human

Artificial intelligence is improving rapidly, and a lot of people are worried that it will lead to massive job losses. In the past, technology mostly displaced workers doing routine tasks or manual labor. But as software becomes more sophisticated, there is a growing prospect that truck drivers, teachers, and perhaps even doctors could see their jobs replaced by a robot, computer program, or any type of technology.

According to the research conducted by the students of top engineering college in Jaipur, software and robots really will massively boost economic productivity. On the contrary, a giant glut of underemployed workers will make it harder to bargain for higher pay. Information technology and machine learning have the potential to change the way we do almost everything. They are going to change transportation with driverless cars. There is also the possibility of transforming all sorts of service industries. Some instances can set hard limit on wages for lots of people like talking to something like Siri is similar to talking to someone in person, or computers can parse human language and perform common sense answers, etc.

There is a therapy uniquely suited to humans. In a lot of ways, people might feel more open talking about difficult topics with a skilled AI than they would with a person. That might be true of medical diagnosis as well. Things that you are embarrassed to discuss with a doctor you could talk to a computer about. As with electricity, it is hard to know what all the applications are going to be.

Replace A Service With An Automated Version

Consider an exercise video as an automated version of a fitness class. People 40 years ago might have said if everyone has a DVD player, fitness instructors were all going to go out of business because everyone will get a $20 DVD instead of paying $10 for each class. People like getting instruction from a flesh-and-blood human being. There is a motivational element. And it is more fun to work out in a room full of other people instead of by yourself at home. If face-to-face interaction is a key part of what you are paying for, then an automated version might not be so appealing.

How Different Components Of Jobs Matter?

Computer programs are going to get better at playing some of these roles. As gamers will tell you, programmers of top engineering colleges in Jaipur can be pretty skilled at finding ways to motivate people to feel like they are interacting with humans even when they are dealing with an AI. There are some technologies like Xbox Kinect, which shows what you are doing and then is able to tailor feedback to you individually. Maybe someone will pair

that with some kind of bot or personality that you come to see as your instructor in a way that is maybe not quite as good as a human instructor but sure to be much, much cheaper. Child care seems like another industry with very limited opportunities for automation. Parents want their kids interacting with other caring adults, not computer screens or robots. With better technology, it becomes easier to say that we are going to go from the preschool

where there are five humans working all the time to this other one where there is one skilled overseer and AI or robots do most of the work.

Is It Good To Interact With Computers?

Lots of parents strictly limit kids "screen time" because they think too much of it is harmful. Most parents will see love and attention from a human being as essential in any child care service. But in some parts of the country, things do not work quite the same. Parents dump their kids in places where they do not get a lot of hands-on attention and stimulus. A lot of people are really good at taking care of the kids, but they do not necessarily have the skills to teach the kids a computer language. There are lots of scope for machine learning and robots to get better at this sort of thing.

At the beginning, MOOCs are going to displace the things that look most like them. Most of the degree courses that people are taking are not at competitive institutions or any engineering college Jaipur. They are not taught by highly skilled professors who are publishing research. They are generally following a preset curriculum without a lot of value added by the professor. This system is flexible as it lets you repeat a course over and over again.

Can Technology Replace Humans?

People are also worried about their future as they believe that it can replace humans. Though Tech is something that lessens manual function with more efficiency and fewer errors but still when it eliminates certain work its humans who have thousand more options and open doors that it even does not know that exists. But we can completely deny that because various companies are developing their artificial intelligence and robotic expertise with the idea to Cut cost, increase efficiency, offer new value proposition, Execute new business model, etc.

1. Artificial intelligence

Students of best private engineering college in Jaipur believe that artificial intelligence makes us more efficient like a superhuman. It makes us free from doing repetitive tasks. AI is not smart enough to do creative and innovative work. It allows us to be better at our jobs by making us more human and creates new industries and jobs. But still the biggest thing than AI cannot replace is doctors because even if it replaces, we would not believe. When it comes to medicine we want to continue dealing with highly educated people even if machine could do a proper diagnosis or treatment. Thus, people still matters and that is important to know that even in scenarios it does not mean that we as humans do not want to interact with humans instead of machines.

2. Robots

Research conducted by the students of best BTech colleges shows that there is a possibility that robots can replace 20 million factory jobs by 2030 but they also added that robots are just machinery and there is possibility of more errors, problems and damages Though some of the jobs can be eliminated but it will also create the new ones and can make the work done by humans more thoughtful and rewarding.

It is found that tech and humans both can work together. As robots and AI, itself is created by humans. They are the tools that work when humans give instruction to them. The idea that it will replace the need for creative thinking, problem solving, leadership, teamwork.

Conclusion

So, AI and humans can evolve together is coming future. Humans will train machines and machines will help humans. By working together, they can improve day to day productivity, enhance data analytics and can also improve decision making. So, it would be better that technology and humans can work together rather than replacing.

Source: Click here

#Best Engineering College in Jaipur #Best Engineering College in Rajasthan #Best Btech College in Jaipur #Best BTech College in Rajasthan #Top Engineering College in Jaipur #Best Private Engineering College in Jaipur

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microduinoinc · 4 years ago

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When the curious neighbors ask about your kid’s smart way of learning

“What’s your kid learning that ours isn’t?” If that’s what you want other parents wondering, we’d say you’ve come to the right place. We have a ton of STEM coding kits to offer you to help your kid learn intelligently and develop profound knowledge in the fields of science, technology, engineering, and math.

If you’ve never heard of the renowned tech company, Microduino, it’s time you sit to read this post. Why should your kids study coding? Because, it’s the foundation of where the future is headed, where newer working methods will replace the old.

Educational institutes will have to add programming as part of their language learning syllabus as companies are more and more stepping into innovative automation. And, where there’s the smoke of automation, there’s the building fire of programming skills.

What are STEM coding kits?

Microduino has developed STEM products for kids to experience fun learning moments as they learn and progress.

Apart from the intelligent packaging, open it, and you will find a series of unlimited projects.

What’s included in the STEM coding kits?

Okay, so there’s a ton of kits available; let’s talk about the Microduino mCookie 202 Advanced Kit - Ages 8 and above.

One box can build unlimited projects, including everything building blocks, sensors, and wires. You can find software and Projects on our weekly updated wiki page, and more projects are added every month.

We provide all the code you need for all our projects that are downloadable online. Just select the ‘build project’ feature and upload. You’ll get support programs like the Arduino IDE and drag and drop programming language. With this software, you can see how building devices work right before your eyes and modify the code yourself. This is a fantastic way to learn how to program, and your kids will love you for it.

The STEM products do not require soldering. Soldering can be dangerous and sometimes not permitted, especially since kids are involved in the learning process. Our revolutionary mCookie chips are magnetic, so the building is easy and quick.

Microduino STEM coding kits provide kids to learn about the basis of electricity, chips, sensors, and programming. Your kid is going to learn other subjects at school faster because of this magical and secret learning kit that you’ll give them at home.

STEM learning is no secret

As schools are adopting the method of imparting STEM education to kids, it only fits that you make the best use of this opportunity. It would also help if your kids learned the technique of building and innovating rather than watching the television after school hours. Mobiles phones dominate your child’s activities into video games, gaming apps, and other vanity digital tools. This is your chance to take back the reigns from smartphones and utilize your child’s time more effectively. But seriously, if the neighbors and other parents want to know your secret, just give them one word – Microduino!

#STEM coding kits #STEM products

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edivupage · 4 years ago

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Middle School Science Apps, Tools, and Resources That We Love

Are you looking for middle school science apps, tools, and resources that you can use with your students? If so, we have you covered. Check out our list below. Let us know if there are any that we missed.

Cell and Cell Structure Flashcards– This app presents the basic unit of life to middle school students, using detailed, stunning images 2-D and 3-D images. It is useful as a revision tool for high school students; teachers can use it as a great explanation tool.

Amazing Alex– Amazing Alex is a boy wonder that uses his endless stream of toys to solve problems creatively. In this app, Alex comes to test you and your ability to solve situations using your creativity. Amazing Alex lets you set objects to bounce, pop, ricochet, and create chain reactions as you create an elegant Rube Goldberg device. There are 100 challenges available, and other users continue to create new levels.

Cell Command– This fun app was designed to teach cell and cell functions to all students.

Legends of Learning– Legends of Learning has over 500 games about earth science, astronomy, life science, and physical science. With over 300 game developers and collaboration with Vanderbilt University, this is the hub for educational science games for middle school children. Many children get bored with cookie-cutter classes, especially when they have fun video games waiting for them at home. Bringing video games into education can help children learn because they can have fun while doing so. Academic ability, performance, and engagement have been increased by playing games such as these.

Mosa Mack– Mosa Mack allows elementary and middle school children to experiment with science without having to deal with the mess-ups and messes. There are tiered lessons that have animated puzzles, mysteries, and questions. Let your students into the lab without needing any experience and still let them learn effectively with this program.

Vernier Go Direct® Sensors with Graphical Analysis

4 – Go Direct® sensors collect real-time data from science experiments and lab work and connect directly to student computers or mobile devices. Each of the 40+ types of sensors offered by Vernier are all-in-one style sensors that come with software. Vernier also produces textbooks, with experiments designed to complement their sensors for Chemistry, Physical Science, and middle school science. All purchases include the free app Graphical Analysis 4, which helps students create real-time graphs of their experimental data.

The Human Body by Tinybop– The Human Body by Tinybop allows students to explore ly see the name. This mode is particularly useful when trying to learn a new region.

Amazing Space Journey– Amazing Space Journey lets you explore the solar system, other planets, and all their satellites in detail. The Interactive Learning feature makes it a fun and memorable experience for people of all ages. The 3-D Augmented Reality feature lets you lose yourself in the experience of the solar system from your home, office, or on a local flight.

Bio Digital Human– Explore the human body in 3-D using the BioDigital Human platform. Choose from thousands of immersive images to build your personal library. Responsive tools, along with detailed medical explanations, provide a fresh visual perspective for understanding the human body. This platform makes the knowledge of anatomy, physiology, pathophysiology, and management of medical conditions accessible and available.

BioInteractive– Biological research is coming to life at the BioInteractivewebsite, which includes apps, animations, videos, and virtual labs. Contents range from short videos on evolution hosted by award-winning authors to lessons about the brain delivered by Nobel prize-winning scientists. The team behind the scene features a fine mix of educators, artists, and scientists.

Bird Song Id Reference– Identify American birds by their songs and calls. The automated recognition system includes a library of about 241 distinct bird calls and songs. It is rated 9 over 10 by Bird Watching Magazine for being extremely accurate. This app allows you to keep an accurate diary of birds based on the work done by elite ecologists behind this technology.

Spore – Imagine you could create a species! Now, bring it to life in Spore. This game guides players through the evolution of their species in five stages: cell, creature, tribal, city, and space. Players gather resources to ensure the survival of their species, including Spore’s late-game currency. Players can choose their method of dominating other species using violent and nonviolent options available in each game.

Chairs! Organic Chemistry Game – This app is an interactive puzzle game designed to teach organic chemistry by having students learn about chair conformations. It is designed as a game in which students can learn and have fun at the same time. Users learn by forming different types of bonds, including axial and equatorial bonds. Kids are ranked based on how well they perform. This game has 13 levels with increasing difficulty at each level.

Contraption Maker – This is a game in which players act as wacky engineers. The game aims to get the missing parts of machines by doing a series of repair actions. The game also has built-in puzzles that test players, from simple challenges to advanced brain teasers. Players also design their machines and share the results online.

Couragion – Couragion can be used to help kids identify career choices. In the beginning, kids get to complete a questionnaire by filling in the details with the applicable answers. The results of the survey will be used to assign to different STEM-related career choices. In Couragion, kids are engaged and educated about such career choices.

Happy Atoms – Happy Atoms is a physical and digital teaching tool that lets kids discover the world of molecules in an intuitive, hands-on way. This interactive learning tool combines a digital app with a physical modeling set that lets students from fourth grade through college approach chemistry from a different angle. With Happy Atoms, kids learn key the difference between elements, feel the forces that bond them together, experiment with ways to combine them, and discover the relationships between molecular structure and properties.

Meet Science: Magnetism and Electricity – This tool is divided into four main categories, each of which targets a specific way to educate kids. The Learn category gives kids access to seven different lessons. In the Experiment category, students to perform the experiments found at the end of each lesson. The Glossary category presents the definitions of concepts for the student to read. Mini games are included to combine fun and learning.

The post Middle School Science Apps, Tools, and Resources That We Love appeared first on The Edvocate.

Middle School Science Apps, Tools, and Resources That We Love published first on https://sapsnkra.tumblr.com

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dipulb3 · 4 years ago

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The 2021 Volkswagen ID 4 hits the EV sweet spot

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/the-2021-volkswagen-id-4-hits-the-ev-sweet-spot/

The 2021 Volkswagen ID 4 hits the EV sweet spot

The good EVs are finally here, and that’s something worth getting excited about. All those electrified models that manufacturers have been teasing us with for years are hitting dealer lots. Now, anyone wanting to finally ditch internal combustion has a series of real, and really compelling, choices.

Volkswagen was among the leading-edge EV providers here in the US, releasing the excellent, if expensive and short-ranged, E-Golf back in 2012. The new ID 4 is that car’s successor, riding on the new MQB platform and designed from the ground up to be all-electric. Where the E-Golf was fundamentally compromised by its internally combusted heritage, the ID 4 shows just how good a pure EV can be.

Excellent, smooth drive

Calm and quiet

Refreshing interior

Don’t Like

Frumpy styling

No one-pedal regen

That dedicated platform means Volkswagen engineers can stuff 82 kilowatt-hours’ worth of battery into the ID 4, though interestingly only 77 kWh of those are actually usable. This extra headroom means the car can intelligently manage charge cycles across a broader number of cells, which should lead to greater life and more predictable range. Regardless, you’re covered by an eight-year, 100,000-mile warranty on the pack itself.

Those cells power either one or two electric motors. Initial versions of the car, like the First Edition model pictured here, make do with 201 horsepower through the rear wheels. In the future, an all-wheel-drive model will bump that up to 302 hp. Torque on the RWD flavor is 228 pound-feet. That’s plenty healthy and, given it’s an EV, readily available. On the deceleration side, while there are two regen modes to select from here, neither is close to what I’d consider a one-pedal mode. That’s a disappointment for sure.

As to the all-important range, VW’s EPA figure is 250 miles. In my testing, which included a mix of city, rural and highway driving at temperatures generally in the 50 to 70 degrees Fahrenheit range, I netted… 250 miles. Yes, 250 exactly.

I feel compelled to point out that this was with me treating the ID 4 like a normal car. I toggled the heat and the air-con when I wanted, and made liberal use of both heated seats and steering wheel, even the massage feature. While I did generally leave the car in Eco mode, I wasn’t gentle with the throttle, and yet I easily met the EPA rating. Drive a little more frugally and I’m sure you can beat it.

That said, there’s little reason to drive aggressively. While the ID 4 does have that fun EV throttle response, zipping you off the line and through traffic gaps, this is not a quick car. That fact is particularly evident at highway speeds, where the ID 4 cruises without issue but doesn’t exactly leap forward when prodded.

It does look a little frumpy.

Tim Stevens/Roadshow

No worries. To get the most out of the ID 4 I recommend you take a deep breath, settle back in your seat, set the adaptive cruise to a reasonable speed and just relax. The car is even smart enough to vary the follow distance depending on your chosen driving mode, staying a little farther back in Eco mode to ensure it won’t need to speed up and slow down so frequently.

The handling is similarly relaxed, but the ride quality is good. Impressive, that, considering the 20-inch wheels and tires outfitted on this First Edition. And, while you’d of course expect an EV to be quiet, VW engineers clearly spent a lot of time isolating any hint of road and wind noise. The driver’s seat is a serene place.

That’s helped by the stark white interior highlights on this First Edition version. While the materials themselves are a little harsh in places, the overall look has a distinctively concept-car vibe, which I appreciate greatly. I also love the shifter, mounted high on the gauge cluster like the one in the BMW i3. Just tilt it in the direction you want to go — or click the P button when you’re done with the going.

I love the vibe of the interior.

Tim Stevens/Roadshow

That gauge cluster is petite, but is at least present, and plenty big enough to give you all the relevant information about speed, range and navigation prompts. The gauge cluster will even display navigation prompts from Android Auto or Apple CarPlay. That’s key because I have a feeling you won’t want to rely much on the baked-in nav.

The infotainment experience in the ID 4 is clean and simple, showing some serious iOS influence with a home button on the left that you’ll need to hit to jump between various sections. It makes for an easy way to get from, say, media to navigation, but it does mean reaching for that home button a lot.

And waiting a lot, too. When I got my first drive of the ID 4 last year I was disappointed at how sluggish the software was. The optimist in me hoped that things would be optimized before the car shipped. The realist in me now sees no such optimizations have been made. Sliding and swiping is often met with extended, painful delays. If that weren’t enough, the voice recognition system is rudimentary at best. Like I said, stick to Android Auto or Apple CarPlay, both of which are supported, wirelessly at that.

Pretty functional, too.

Tim Stevens/Roadshow

It should come as no surprise that most of the car’s controls rely on capacitive touch. Even the slider for the sun shade to cover the big, bright panoramic roof is touch-sensitive. Side window controls are still physical, thank goodness, but there’s an element of touch here, too. Instead of the driver having four switches, one per window, there are only two. To control the rear windows you have to touch a tiny little “rear” indicator. Good luck doing that without taking your eyes off the road.

That panoramic roof provides good headroom, front and rear. Those in the back will find their seats slightly elevated, giving a clear, commanding view of the world around. A pair of USB-C connectors back there will keep the kids from complaining about their own batteries, while there’s a wireless charging cubby with more USB ports for phones up front.

Everybody is protected by a comprehensive active safety suite, featuring niceties like automatic emergency braking with pedestrian detection, blind-spot monitoring, rear-traffic alert and even road sign detection. All that’s included on even the base ID 4.

To control the rear windows you have to touch a tiny little “rear” indicator. Good luck doing that without taking your eyes off the road.

That base edition, called Pro, starts at $41,190 including a $1,195 destination charge. The First Edition you see here is no longer available, meaning your only options are the Pro or the $45,690 Pro S, which adds many of the features you see here, including the panoramic roof, massaging power seats and an upgrade to a 12-inch navigation screen. Another $1,500 brings you up to the Gradient trim, layering on those 20-inch wheels and some other visual flair. The eventual AWD upgrade will be a further $3,680 and, other than floor mats and the usual spate of accessories, there really aren’t any extra boxes to tick.

How does that compare with other EVs on the market today? The closest Tesla is the Model Y, which starts at $52,190 including a $1,200 destination fee. For that you get more range, 326 miles per the EPA, and quicker performance, too. But the ID 4’s interior is miles better and, well, I’ll let you figure out whether you have more Tesla or VW service centers nearby. There’s also the not-insignificant $7,500 federal rebate, applicable to the VW but not the Tesla, which means the ID 4 could come in at over $10,000 cheaper.

Not quite flawless, but hard to find a flaw just the same.

Tim Stevens/Roadshow

The new Chevrolet Bolt EUV is another EV that many will be cross-shopping, and for good reason. It builds on the well-proven Bolt platform, giving a little more room and some fresh styling. No EPA-rated range just yet, but GM’s engineers say to expect around 250 miles. An FWD Premier Bolt EUV has an MSRP of $43,925 including a $995 destination charge. That puts it right within spitting distance of the ID 4.

So, the ID 4 is competitively priced and nice to drive, with enough range to vanquish anxiety and a fresh interior that made me smile. What didn’t make me smile? I have to admit I never really fell for the thing. After the gonzo ID Buggy concept and the amazing charm of the ID Buzz, the ID 4 feels more than a little plain.

But you know what? That’s OK. Not every EV needs to make a statement, and this one exudes quiet confidence. The Volkswagen ID 4 is better than a good car, it’s a great one — it just won World Car of the Year honors— and surely a sign of even better EVs to come from VW.

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douglashonorscollege · 4 years ago

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The Tesla Titan

research paper by David Wacker ⌂

Part I: The Tesla Titan

“Tesla Titan, he’s a hero! Gonna bring emissions down to zero!” Now that may be a clear rip off of the classic Captain Planet theme song, but the Tesla Titan deserves the same recognition as the beloved pollution fighter. The Tesla Titan is not only stopping the crimes of fossil fuel overconsumption and outdated automobiles, but also making space travel less environmentally destructive. Reusable rockets have decreased cost and waste by a big margin. He has also promised that moving to Mars in the future is possible. Though he wouldn’t be able to do all of these amazing feats if it weren’t for his infinitely smart Artificial Intelligence by the name of OpenAI (needs a better nickname). It is said that Tony Stark himself went to the Tesla Titan for pointers on how to be a world-saving superhero. The Tesla Titan keeps giving more and more to our wonderful planet; he is a true hero and spectacle.

His only flaw would be that he hasn't done a good job at keeping his identity hidden. Just about anyone with a WiFi connection knows the Tesla Titan’s real name which of course is Elon Musk. Musk is one of the richest people on the planet, and he has been doing his best to use it for good! The Tesla Titan’s Origin Story begins in the country of South Africa, where he began toying using computers at a young age. At the young age of twelve he sold a video game he had developed to a magazine company. It was a space-themed “shoot-em-up” called Blastar, and it made the future billionaire a cool 500 dollars. You can actually play it in your browser now with a little digging.

At the age of seventeen, while continuing to get more adept with computers, Musk decided to get a Canadian passport. His reasons were based around not wanting to support apartheid—a segregation order in South Africa—with military service as well as chasing better economic opportunities in North America. He first attended Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, but then transferred to the University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, where he earned two bachelor’s degrees. From there, Musk went to Stanford for graduate school, quitting after a mere two days. He thought that the future was with the internet, and he was correct; in a relatively short amount of time, Musk sold his first online company, Zip2, for 309 million dollars (Gregersen).

Elon Musk, aka the Tesla Titan, has become a dominant figure in the tech industry over the past decade, and for good reason, too. He has brought about paradigm shifts in many different fields with relative ease. This is a result of his influence that he has gained over the years. He has the capability to alter public thinking quicker than it would otherwise change. A paradigm shift is comparable to a scientific revolution, something that generally requires a lot of marketing, money, and, usually, time. Throughout this essay I will compare his ability to sell products to the abilities of the Marvel character Tony Stark, aka, Ironman. Both have helped invent and create amazing pieces of technology. They also have much success selling these technologies, and the similarities go on and on.

The Tesla Titan gets his name after the electric car company he co-founded and where he continues to hold the title of CEO. The car company was founded in 2003 with the idea of fun-to-drive electric vehicles in mind. They launched their first full electric vehicle in 2008, named the Tesla Roadster. The Model S was launched in 2012, becoming the best in its class in every category. The company has released many more vehicles over the years, and just last year, it announced the Cybertruck, which currently has over 650,000 orders. Tesla is also close to releasing a self-driving semi-truck, which promises a 500-mile range on a full charge. From Tesla’s beginning right up to today, “Elon leads all product design, engineering and global manufacturing of the company's electric vehicles, battery products and solar energy products” (Tesla).

Recently, Tesla became the highest valued car company in the world, reaching an estimated $208 billion value in July of 2020. It is now being valued at $387 billion by Yahoo Finance today, with the possibility of another jump in value after it was announced that Tesla is joining the S&P 500. In its seventeen-year lifetime, Tesla became the forefront of electric vehicles, and it has reached farther than any other car brand before it.

Although Tony Stark never released his own brand of vehicles, he is known to be the owner of many expensive sports cars. He also created the Model 52 Iron Man Armor, which could fully transform into a flying car, equipped with two circular jets on the bottom to keep it off the ground. So there’s some comparisons to be made between these two men. In the movie, Spiderman: Homecoming, a Stark Cargo Plane is robbed. Where this might not be the best example of its abilities, it still has the capability to cloak itself and stay off radar. So they both have their experience in transporting goods.

The Tesla Titan’s highest reaching feat is SpaceX, which he founded just a year before Tesla. SpaceX has also reached the forefront in its field of sending rockets to space and, now, landing them back on earth. Falcon 9 was the first ever successful landing of an orbital rocket booster back in 2015. Since then, there has been nowhere to go but up! Following the Falcon 9 was the Falcon Heavy in 2018 and then the revolutionary Super Heavy Starship System this year. The Starship System can carry a total of 220,000 pounds. It is designed to travel quickly to different cities around the globe. It doesn’t stop there, though; the System was also built with the idea of transporting supplies and people to and from the Moon and Mars. It does all this at a fraction of the cost of SpaceX’s closest competitor, Boeing. SpaceX has even transported multiple astronauts to and from the International Space Station (ISS) with its Dragon spacecraft (Gregersen). Just recently, four astronauts were successfully transported to the ISS in association with NASA (Wattles).

A clear paradigm shift occurred when Falcon 9 became the first booster to land itself back on Earth. A mere thirteen years after its founding, the company managed to break a barrier no one had come near breaking before. The main thing that Tesla and SpaceX have in common is their fearless leader, The Tesla Titan. With the amount of success that Elon Musk has had over just the past two decades in these two fields, a connection has to be made with his influence. After so many successes, it would be hard for the world not to believe in his hero-like abilities being behind some of today’s paradigm shifts.

Connecting this to Tony Stark comes a little easier than comparing a single transforming car suit. Stark Industries has connections to the creation of the original Helicarrier that is used by the S.H.I.E.L.D. organization. Tony proposed the original idea to S.H.I.E.L.D., and with the help of Dr. Reed Richards and the former Xman Forge, they were able to design and eventually build the aircraft. Not that readers are able to see much of it, but there has also been a mention of the Stark Industries Aerospace Division, which supposedly created the first spaceship capable of space travel. It was first brought up in Iron Man, Vol. 1, #60, back in 1973, but not much has been said about it since.

Finally, the last evidence I will provide for The Tesla Titan’s ability to perform paradigm shifts in a single bound comes in the form of Open AI. He founded the company alongside Sam Altman and others with a beginning pledge of one billion dollars. Since its inception, the company has worked on many different AI-related projects, from a fully AI Dota 2 team that regularly beats the best of the best human teams, to slightly less impressive—when it comes to competitive gaming—but still impressive bipedal AI simulations that learned to sumo wrestle one another. Moreover, Open AI developed an AI-trained robot hand that can solve a Rubik’s Cube. Then there’s the music generating AI, Jukebox, that has its own Soundcloud. But maybe the most impressive use so far is GPT-3, a unique text-suggestion software that can gather data in split seconds and fill out a full Excel sheet with data after a simple topic search and a few button presses.

In 2018, Musk left the company’s board but still remains a donor. He left the company because of possible future contests between it and the AI that runs his Tesla vehicles’ self-driving. While he might not be with the company anymore, the amount the company accomplished while he was associated with it is still nothing to scoff at. This is another great example of how someone of his status and income can significantly increase the rate of technological progress.

These accomplishments provide the easiest area to find similarities between The Tesla Titan and Iron Man. Both have their hands in the super intelligent AI basket. Tony Stark, of course, has his AI-assistant Jarvis with him wherever he goes, whether it’s in a pair of super fancy Heads-Up Display Glasses, in his massive super smart home, or of course while he’s in his trademark Iron Man suits. Jarvis is used for instant information, hacking, and even controlling certain aspects of the various Iron Man armors.

In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Jarvis ends up inhabiting a Vibranium-based body that eventually leads to him becoming Vision. The body was constructed under the instruction of another super AI, Ultron, who intended on using the body as his most powerful form yet. As some will know, Ultron turns out to be an evil Artificial Intelligence with the classic, “exterminate the human race” mindset. Thinking quickly, Stark puts Jarvis into the body so it cannot be inhabited by Ultron. Vision is “powered” by the Mind Stone (one of the six world creating Infinity Stones) which gives Jarvis full sentience.

My claim earlier about Tony Stark going to Elon Musk for inspiration was not that far fetched. Robert Downey Jr. did in fact go to Musk for tips on how to play the super-rich, tech playboy that is Tony Stark. And this completely makes sense, as The Tesla Titan is very comparable to Marvel’s Iron Man. It is a good thing that The Tesla Titan is on the good side, as it would be quite dangerous if he suddenly turned evil. He would have all the money and equipment he could need to possibly take over the world…

Part II: Neuralink The Nefarious

Neuralink The Nefarious, comes from a different timeline than The Tesla Titan, a timeline where the man behind the mask chooses to use his influence for evil rather than good. Neuralink The Nefarious sees the world as being infected by the parasite that is the human race, and he plans to use whatever resources he has—and he has plenty of resources—to expel the Earth of its sickness. But he won’t stop there—why conquer one planet, when you can conquer two, plus a moon? He develops spaceships with the cover story of cheaper space travel and commercial use for everyone. Behind the scenes, though, he schemes in the shadows. Along with his plans for stealing worlds, he is developing his mode of extinction for the human race in the form of mind-altering brain implants, which he markets as a possible cure for previously incurable diseases. The idea of self enhancement can drive practically anyone to madness, and he feeds on that desire. The implants are said to also provide information to the user just by thinking. While he’s at it, he has also sold “Not Flamethrowers” to the general public, another tool in his master plan. Neuralink the Nefarious will stop at nothing to become the Earth’s one true owner.

This section of the essay will go over how not only does Elon Musk have similarities to those of Superheros, but he is also very capable of becoming a super villain. I will also go over the idea that when paradigm shifts do happen so quickly because of his influence, Technological Disjunction is rarely part of the equation. Technological Disjunction is what happens when society doesn’t fully agree with a new technology that is being developed. For example, the use of drones by the public—many people worried about personal privacy. This has led to many regulations, including the requirement that the operator have a license to fly their drone over another’s property. Without a lot of technological disjunction, products that maybe should not be put on the market become available. Throughout this portion of the essay, I will compare Musk’s projects to multiple villains spread across pop culture, comparing their views and evil plans with those of Neuralink the Nefarious.

Once again, Neuralink the Nefarious gets his name after one of his evil companies. Elon Musk founded Neuralink in July 2016, with a goal of solving paralysis and improving the human being by tampering with neurons in the brain. The “link” will be implanted into the person’s head with very thin “neural threads” reading interactions between the neurons that are used for movement in the brain. Their plan is to begin by creating a wireless link between users’ brains and their mobile devices: “The Neuralink app would allow you to control your iOS device, keyboard and mouse directly with the activity of your brain, just by thinking about it” (Neuralink). As Neuralink learns more from its different iterations, the ability to help those with paralysis and other disabilities comes next. Or so they say.

I believe that Neuralink the Nefarious got this idea straight from the 2014 Action Film Kingsman: The Secret Service. The film’s antagonist is Richmond Valentine, a rich tech mogul looking to provide the world with “Free Calls, Free Internet, For Everyone, Forever.” He does so by implanting a chip directly connected to the brain. Sound familiar? It is later revealed that Valentine had an ulterior motive with his fancy Wi-Fi chips; not only do the chips provide said services, but they can also be used to make everyone who has one go into a murderous rage. So he markets and sells the chips around the world, and most of the first world ends up with one within a matter of a few weeks. He then activates their murder function and anyone with a chip begins doing whatever they can to hurt and kill everyone around them. Then of course the protagonist saves the day, but that’s besides the point. The point is this: if Neuralink the Nefarious really is inspired by Valentine—or vice versa—who knows what else these “links” will do to us.

A few months after founding Neuralink, Musk founded the Boring Company whose primary goal is to devise and create new methods of transportation. They plan to market underground tubes made for getting places quicker. However, for this essay, I will be focusing on one of the Boring Company’s previous products: in 2018, The Boring Company sold “Not a Flamethrower” to anyone who had a 500 dollars to burn. The 20,000 units sold out, generating ten million dollars for the company. Selling items similar to a flamethrower to the public doesn’t sound safe, obviously, as there is always the distinct possibility of someone wielding one with evil intentions.

I was not able to find a villain that specifically sold flamethrowers to the public. However, there is Norman Osborn, a prominent figure in New York, who is the head of Oscorp, which is a leader in various technologies. Behind the scenes though, Norman is the Green Goblin, one of Spiderman’s oldest foes. After taking an intelligence- and strength-enhancing serum, Osborn ends up going insane, which spurs his liking of destruction. I wouldn’t put selling flamethrowers off the radar for Mr. Osborn, whatever it takes to drive the city to the ground. Neuralink the Nefarious was pretty unique with this one, selling flamethrowers to almost anybody is something not many super villains have thought of, perhaps making him more villainous than the most evil of super villains.

These two companies of his are prime examples of technological disjunction being forgotten. Through vigilant marketing, economic class, and a wide influence, Elon Musk and his reputation have survived, even thrived, where others would have found themselves in the proverbial doghouse. Of course there will always be articles about how what he is doing is wrong, but they haven’t been impactful enough to keep Musk from continuing his work. He has accomplished so much that it has become hard to stop his Neuralink the Nefarious side—if it exists.

Conclusion

Whether we are in the Tesla-Titan or the Neuralink-the-Nefarious timeline, Elon Musk has made major strides in whatever line of work he steps into. His companies have accomplished more in under twenty years than many have accomplished in over 100. There are so many more examples from his life to support both sides of this argument, but I ultimately align myself with the Tesla Titan, not only because he’s the good guy but because there is more evidence for Elon being “good” rather than “bad.” I appreciate his thoughts on renewable energy and his efforts to save the planet from climate change. While I was writing this, my dad sent me an article about the announcement of ZETA, a group of electric vehicle manufacturers, including Tesla, arguing for no more sales of fossil fuel-powered vehicles by 2030, moving our world closer to the electric vehicle paradigm.

To reiterate, Elon Musk is in a special place in the science world. He is highly intelligent and very well known, giving him the power to trigger paradigm shifts in pretty much every industry he touches, which so far has been for the positive. But if he continues to avoid Technological Disjunction, he could potentially turn toward evil, which could negatively impact all of humanity. It’s the job of the public to keep figures like Musk in check, to make sure they remain the Tesla Titans rather than become Nefarious Neuralinks.

Works Cited ~Brockman, Greg. “OpenAI API.” OpenAI , OpenAI, 28 Sept. 2020, openai.com/blog/openai-api/. ~CB Insights. “8 Industries Being Disrupted By Elon Musk And His Companies.” CB Insights Research , CB Insights, 21 Sept. 2020, www.cbinsights.com/research/report/elon-musk-companies-disruption/ ~Chandler, Simon. “Elon Musk Is 'Distracting Us' From Real Tech Issues, AI Figures Warn.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 19 May 2020, www.forbes.com/sites/simonchandler/2020/05/18/elon-musk-is-damaging-te ch-and-the-tech-industry/?sh=6206e5e19b8d. ~“Elon Musk.” Tesla, Inc , www.tesla.com/elon-musk. ~Evannex. “A Transportation Paradigm Shift Is Coming Thanks To Tesla's Elon Musk.” InsideEVs , InsideEVs, 22 Feb. 2020, insideevs.com/news/400142/tesla-elon-musk-transportation-paradigm-shift ~Fandome Contributors. “Iron Man Armor Model 52.” Marvel Database , marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Iron_Man_Armor_Model_52. ~Fandome Contributors. “Norman Osborn (Earth-616).” Marvel Database , marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Norman_Osborn_(Earth-616). ~Fandome Contributors. “S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier.” Marvel Database , marvel.fandom.com/wiki/S.H.I.E.L.D._Helicarrier. ~Fandome Contributors. “Stark Industries Aerospace Division/Appearances.” Marvel Database , marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Stark_Industries_Aerospace_Division/Ap pearances. ~Gibbs, Samuel. “Elon Musk Sells All 20,000 Boring Company 'Flamethrowers'.” The Guardian , Guardian News and Media, 1 Feb. 2018, www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/feb/01/elon-musk-sells-out-boring-c ompany-flamethrowers-fire. ~Gregersen, Erik. “Elon Musk.” Encyclopædia Britannica , Encyclopædia Britannica Inc., 27 Aug. 2020, www.britannica.com/biography/Elon-Musk. ~Hern, Alex. “Elon Musk: the Real-Life Iron Man.” The Guardian , Guardian News and Media, 9 Feb. 2018, www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/feb/09/elon-musk-the-real-life-iron- man. ~Klebnikov, Sergei. “Tesla Is Now The World's Most Valuable Car Company With A $208 Billion Valuation.” Forbes , Forbes Magazine, 1 July 2020, www.forbes.com/sites/sergeiklebnikov/2020/07/01/tesla-is-now-the-worlds- most-valuable-car-company-with-a-valuation-of-208-billion/?sh=6d99944f5334 ~Neuralink , neuralink.com/. ~“Not A Flamethrower.” The Boring Company, www.boringcompany.com/not-a-flamethrower. xxx Peterson, Andrea. Even Elon Musk Knows He's a Good Supervillain Candidate . 25 Apr. 2019, www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2015/04/17/even-elon-musk- knows-hes-a-good-supervillain-candidate/. ~“Tesla, Inc. (TSLA) Valuation Measures & Financial Statistics.” Yahoo! Finance , Yahoo!, 18 Nov. 2020, finance.yahoo.com/quote/tsla/key-statistics/?guccounter=1. ~Vaughn, Matthew, et al. Kingsman: the Secret Service . 20th Century Fox, 2015. ~Wall, Mike. “Wow! SpaceX Lands Orbital Rocket Successfully in Historic First.” Space.com , Space, 22 Dec. 2015, www.space.com/31420-spacex-rocket-landing-success.html. ∎

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