going insane thinking about the harrow and palamedes friendship. harrow, who has never met another necromancer her age forming a bizarro 3D chess rivalry while pal worries about her safety at every possible turn. harrow, who is up to her eyebrows in paranoia and secrecy, trusting the sixth house with gideon unconscious and hurt, letting them into the ninth house quarters unsupervised. if “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” is goth for i love you, “death first to vultures and scavengers” has got to be goth for i love you (platonic). pal’s first reaction when harrow comes into his bubble in the river is to scoop her up in a hug, and at this point she doesn’t remember anything about him because cutting out all her memories of gideon is impossible without cutting out memories of the sixth, but she still makes him a skelehand to inhabit anyway. when harrow’s memories are finally whole, she tells dulcinea she couldn’t face pal knowing that his pen pal girlfriend died on her account, but the next time she “faces” him, palamades’s soul is in someone else’s body and harrow’s body is full of nona’s soul. he spends six months protecting and caring for harrow’s body (and nona obv), believing in the possibility of bringing her back to it the same way cam believed in him. “god, do you know i miss harrow terribly.” and by the time harrow comes back to her body at the very end of ntn, pal is gone forever, fully pauled. the last time harrow and palamades see each other as their complete selves is in canaan house, alive and unlyctored. two of the smartest and loneliest people in the solar system meet each other in the worst of circumstances and spend the rest of the story dancing around each other as fragments of themselves, trying to care about each other in the interim but never fully meeting like they did the first time. a friendship made almost entirely of missing the other person. “do you know i miss harrow terribly.” god. i need to lie down
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I just think Tallulah gets to be upset about this. “It’s not Wilbur’s fault” “He’s not a bad dad” “He loves his daughter so much” yes! These are all true! And it’s not his fault! But he’s still not there. And Tallulah has gone through so much and still hasn’t seen him, the one time he was around was the one time she wasn’t, and all she has are letters and “I’m thinking of you always” and things that used to be theirs together, but he’s still not there. She’s waited and she’s been patient and she’s loved him all the same, and he’s still not there. Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, from the happy milestones to the traumatic events, he’s still not there.
She knows that it’s not his fault, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s absent. That in and of itself just adds to the sorrow, because she knows why he’s gone, and she’s been told time and time again it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, she knows this - it doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting, that it doesn’t hurt, that she doesn’t yearn for her father to be there more than anything in the world, and he’s just not there.
So yes, she gets to be upset, and be caustic, and stomp her feet and write bitter messages, and be angry and vitriolic, because she’s a little girl missing her father, who feels things with her whole heart and soul - and that means she gets to feel the ugly parts of it, too.
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The party gets into a debate about who gives the best hugs. Lucas says max does, which she thinks is very sweet but entirely incorrect because obviously Steve gives the best hugs. Dustin agrees wholeheartedly. Mike refuses to let Steve win so he says Will gives the best hugs. Will is like oh that's nice...Mike you give the best hugs :). El is like you are wrong Hopper gives the best hugs. No one can argue with her on that but Dustin is adamant that Hop only gives her the best hugs because he's her dad and therefore Steve gives the best hugs.
Steve hears this and is like you all are wrong Robin gives the best hugs, hands down. No contest.
And the Party is flabbergasted because Robin is not a huggy person. She's barely a touchy person. Like yeah she'll give a shoulder pat or a friendly elbow, but whenever Robin hugs one of them it's awkward and stiff.
When informed of this Steve is like "...uh. no? She's literally so clingy? We hang off each other all the time? Her hugs are amazing? What are you talking about?"
"yeah cause she's in love with you"
Steve doesn't dignify that with a response other than a huff.
Eddie walks in and Steve thinks he's got an ally in this pointless battle. Eddie is firmly of the opinion Steve gives the best hugs. Because he does. Nice big hugs with an extra squeeze in the middle. There is no other reason involving his big gay crush on Steve or his love of Being Held. Nope. None.
Steve is frustrated because while it's touching they think Steve gives good hugs, they are not acknowledging Robin's superior hugging!! The disrespect! Sacrilege!! Disgraceful!! And everyone is like Steve!! She doesn't give us hugs! Only you!!
Finally, Robin comes in. Steve stands and glares at the party, he'll show them.
"Robin!" He says, arms wide.
"Steve!" She grins and dives into him, curling her arms around his waist, tucks her face right into his neck, and rocks them back and forth, giving a good squeeze before they release each other.
Steve turns to the group with a smug expression because see? Best hugs.
Dustin is going to prove Steve wrong. He gets up. Smiles. Opens his arms.
"hey Robin!" And waits. Robin smiles and looks at him. Pats his arm. Give him a bit of a side hug outside his arms. Ruffles his hair.
"hey?"
Dustin grins.
"so we were talking about who gives the best hugs and-
"oh, Steve, definitely. Absolutely. Hands down no contest. Why?"
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I cannot express the way the “He’s a human being” scene in Why Women Kill makes me feel. Just the human need to scream when you’re talking to a group of people, begging them to help you, because there’s no reason why they shouldn’t, they are watching a man suffer before their very eyes as a hate crime is displayed in front of them, but they all just stare. Simone’s desperation and voice breaks and lurches into the crowd to find someone to help while clearly not wanting to stray too far from Karl - tore my heart to pieces.
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