#theo: this person will communicate with me. i will attach myself to them now

[notmuchapoet-21]

superstar

She’s on the radio again. Her voice is the only reason I take out the radio she gave me every morning at nine AM, for her tiny, thirty-second segment after the traffic report. A Letter from Hermione Granger. She’s Wizarding Britain’s favourite, and I’m no one different from her screaming fans after she gives a speech, or who cheer for her after she passes legislature. I shake the thoughts away and listen. 

“After the war, I worked as a counsellor for reformed Azkaban prisoners. When I was working with my last person, I remember that I had always said that he was unforgivable before I met him. When I met him, I was surprised at the person I found underneath labels of Death Eater and Blood Traitor and Evil. Of course, my experience is only an individual one, and it’s impossible to ignore someone’s past, but I believe that it’s possible for redemption.” And then her voice fades out and it’s replaced by horoscopes. 

I feel her words touch something in me. Blood Traitor. Evil. Death Eater. Where’s your Lord now? My fingers clench on the table, remembering the voices of the guards as they stripped me and searched me and spat on me. Not so haughty now, are you, Malfoy? Where’s your father now? Oh, he’s dead! Poor Draco. And then, a word parts the blizzard. Breathe, Draco. I remember her telling me that, her fingers light on the base of my neck, one of the many times I got lost inside my mind and she led me home. Breathe. Can you tell me where we are right now?

“I’m at home,” I mutter. Good. Now, who am I? 

“Hermione Granger. My reformation counsellor. Not anymore. But…” Good, Draco. Take a moment. Maybe I clung on to her in that memory, because I remember her pulling my hands away and clasping them in her own. I’m not going anywhere. 

“But you lied.” I brush my hair out of my face. “You left, didn’t you. I know I shouldn’t resent you for it, but you left. Said you’d write and you didn’t. Because Weasley took you on some impromptu trip and proposed.”

“Talking to yourself now?” Pansy saunters into the room. I jolt up from the counter I was leaning on.

“Jeez, Parks, where did you come from?” I ask, smoothing down my clothes. I wave my wand and the radio stops. 

“Today’s brunch day, did you already forget? Blaise and Theo are already in the garden.” Pansy waves her wand and summons a tray from the cabinets under my sink.

“Shit, was that today?” I rub my forehead. “I completely forgot. I didn’t trim the roses, so the gazebo is pretty much unfunctional.”

“I still don’t know why you do that by hand. You can’t use house elves anymore, but I bet there’s dozens of spells,” Pansy murmurs as she unpacks her bag. She pulls out a cake and places it on the tray.

“That looks good,” I say absently.

“Do you think so? I baked it myself. With Harry.” Pansy continues unpacking her bag and placing increasingly elaborate creations on the tray. “So, what’s on Draco’s mind that he forgot about our weekly brunch day? Were you crushing after Granger again?” 

“What? No—”

“I don’t understand how you got so attached to her. I hated my reformation counsellor so I fired him and did the community service hours instead. I’m actually glad, I wouldn’t have met Harry otherwise,” Pansy says. She lifts up the tray. “Grab the teapot for me?”

I follow her out the garden doors and walk the winding path into the garden. As expected, the roses I forgot to trim block the entrance to the gazebo. But Theo and Blaise have decided to try their hands at gardening. On my roses, that my mother took so much care of, and that Hermione taught me to care for. I place the teapot precariously on Pansy’s tray and rush forward, snatching the clippers from Theo and the trowel from Blaise.

“And were you thinking you could dig the petals out of my roses?” I ask, waving the trowel. I make quick work of the roses, sending them with the tools back into my kitchen. I’ll give the flowers at Mother’s grave later. I clean up the gazebo and soon we’re seated. 

“So, what sadness lengthens Draco’s hours?” Blaise asks as he butters a crumpet. 

“Who do you think?” Theo sighs dramatically. 

“Wizarding Britain’s superstar, Hermione Granger,” Pansy announces. She sips her mimosa.

“You three are horrible,” I mutter. “I haven’t talked to her in a year.” 

“And herein lies the problem,” Theo intones. “You think she’ll hate you.”

“I think that I was just another one of her patients for lack of a better word,” I correct. “She talked about another one of her guidance patients on the radio today.”

“But weren’t you her last patient? She got engaged to—”

“No, she did a couple more after she got back from her trip,” I reply. 

“How do you even know that when you won’t let us tell you about how her life’s going, and you won’t read about her in the society pages?” Blaise asks. 

“Potter told me when we were meeting him. Said she was planning to do more counselling.”

“Well—”

“Why must we always talk about me? These brunches have become ambushes,” I complain. “Parks, how’s the shop going?”

“I got seventy orders for hand-painted masquerade masks for Rosewood’s Summer Solstice party, so I’ve been working day in, day out. Harry has tried to help, but to no avail. I won’t let his ham-handed paint job ruin my store’s reputation,” Pansy sighs. “I think I hurt his feelings, but I haven’t the time to make it right.”

“That’s a skilled person problem,” Theo complains.

“You’re just salty because ever since Matthew broke up with you, you’ve just lounged around being a dramatic prat in your huge manor,” Pansy retorts. 

“Matthew’s dating this guy named Tony now,” Theo wails. He hides his face in his sleeve. 

“There, there,” Blaise pats his arm. “Must be hard not being wanted. I couldn’t relate.”

“That’s because you’re in a happy relationship—” Theo sniffles, lifting his head. “And I’ll be alone forever!” Theo starts sobbing again, even louder. 

“Theo!” Pansy snaps her fingers in front of Theo’s face. “I brought you your favourite sweets—”

“Lemon pound cake?” Theo stops crying instantly. I laugh as Theo scarfs down three slices of lemon cake in rapid succession. Soon, no one wants to leave so we cook dinner together as Pansy gripes about the unreasonable patrons who come to her for her clothes, and Theo moans about Matthew, and Blaise preens in front of the mirrors.

As I mount the stairs to my room after my friends leave, a strange thought comes unbidden over me. What if I just sent her a letter like she told me to. I’m sorry I’ve got to go now. But you should keep in touch, Draco. I’ll always be here for you. I trusted her, so the moment I heard she was back, I waited outside her house. She returned with Weasley, laughing up the stairs with bags full of groceries from the Farmer’s Market that she once brought me to. That was our place. But it wasn’t like I could say that, so I left. 

I still have the rule I made that day scribbled on a framed piece of paper on my nightstand. You will not talk to Hermione Granger. I’ve come too far to break that rule. But I need to hear her voice. That, I’ve allowed myself. I grab the recording I made of her first message and pull the covers over my head.

“Good morning! I’m Hermione Granger, and for the next few months, I’ll be with you every morning at nine AM, giving you a couple insights to start your day! Today, I’ll be leaving you with just a sentence. Recovery doesn’t happen in an instant, and it’s hard to enjoy the process, but it’s one thing that everyone can try.”

You were my only competitor for top marks every year, Draco. You can do this. I remember her hand on mine, guiding my hand to clip the roses, her fingers deftly stirring a pot full of stew and lifting the spoon to my lips, her fingernails digging into my skin as I steadied her on the ice rink. She was so close, right in front of me and so beautifully alive, until she left and I had to content myself watching her speeches in the back row, listening to the recording I made of her radio messages, and knowing that she’ll never see me. 

I’ve spent my life after Azkaban trying so hard to disappear from the public eye—after a year, the hate mail slowed to occasional howlers—but now, all I want is for her to see me. Then what? My mind mocks me. You still have hope that she treasures those moments too, don’t you? How could she ever? You were just another fan, another patient, another person who she changed forever. Just another person who loves her.

I roll over to face the ceiling and wave my wand to reveal the stars behind a glass ceiling. It’s wrong for me to like her this way. For me to want to see your face this bad, because I know that if I ever talked to you, I’d be disappointed. We sat on this very roof once and I pointed out Draco and Andromeda, she showed me Sirius. I told her about my mother and her roses, so the next day, she helped me revive the clippings I brought from the manor. 

I honestly think that the reason why I refuse to get close to her again, why it’s my staunch rule, is because I am as much of a coward that I was in my Hogwarts years, and on the Astronomy tower, and during the war. Unlike her, and Weasley, and Potter, and every hero that I am not.

The next morning is uncharacteristically misty for a late-Spring day. I unfold the Prophet and spot her face on the front page. She passed another Dragon Protection Act, and I know that triumphant look on her face from class when she beat me on a test. I huff a laugh. I remind myself of Pansy when she used to cut out pictures of her favourite singers from the magazines she ordered. I close the paper and place my teacup in the sink. 

A word catches my eye from the bottom of the page that I just closed. I dart towards and flip it open. Romania. I backtrack across the page. In order to learn more about her next goals, Ms. Granger will be in Romania for the next six months. We’ll be sorry to see her go, but are thrilled for her most recent victory. I stumble towards the radio. Her leaving to Romania means she’ll be stopping her program, perhaps indefinitely. Her leaving means that for six months, I won’t hear her voice. 

Good morning everyone! It’s Hermione Granger, and today, before I say my little message, I have an announcement today. Today will be the last segment of my little program—

Oh no. No. No. My knees hit the floor, fingers scrabbling on the floorboards. She can’t leave. She can’t be going again. I can’t be alone again, but maybe I was always alone because I haven’t talked to her in a year and she doesn’t care but she cared so much and she taught me to care too, so how can she leave now—

That’s all. It’s been a great ride, and I’m so thrilled for my next adventures. Hermione Granger, signing off. There’s a click as I realise that she’s now completely gone, and that I just missed her last message, and I’m falling into darkness. 

I’m in the Forbidden Forest, watching Voldemort’s body rot. The maggots chitter and scramble through his empty eye sockets, and somehow, they form words I know. Death Eater. Evil scum. Unworthy. Failure. They stop moving suddenly, and I feel something staring at me. I whirl around, and she’s right there. But maybe she isn’t, because there is no warmth in her face. She just stands there, staring at me, cold, honey-gold eyes picking me apart with disdain. Finally, her face twists. Worthless Death Eater scum, she spits before whirling away. I stumble back as the maggots swarm me. Breathe. I am shivering in the corner of my cell in Azkaban as the winds howl outside. Breathe. I am receiving my first Howler, words coming at me like a storm. Breathe. And Hermione Granger is walking away. 

Draco! A shout punctures my consciousness, followed by a loud banging. Draco! Are you in here? Draco! A female voice shouts my name again. Is it—no. That was the past. When I locked myself in my house with only the smouldering embers of a red envelope, lost somewhere between Azkaban and the Astronomy Tower. It was the anniversary of the war, and I had ignored all of her letters, and somehow, she came to find me, banging on my door. Draco! Draco! Are you in here? You can’t just— a frustrated noise—Just open the door, okay? This is literally my job—I need to see that you’re not dead! So I let her in, and she curled my fingers around a mug of tea. Drink. 

“Why don’t you call me Malfoy?” I asked her, voice breaking. I coughed to hide it. She looked up, eyes wide, as if she had never thought of it, a furrow forming between her brows. I longed to smooth it away. She came to a conclusion, blinking at me. 

“You’re not your father,” she said simply. And that was that. And that was that. 

I am lying on crisp white sheets in a room in St. Mungo’s. I hear voices and struggle to focus on them.

“—collapsed from shock. He should be fine in a while. If you three had come any later, this could’ve been much worse. He should stay here for a couple more days, and I will check on him in a couple hours.”

“Thank you,” I hear Pansy say, echoed by murmurs from Blaise and Theo. 

“Is he all right?” That’s a new voice. It’s so familiar, but somehow—

“He won’t die, Granger,” Pansy says roughly. Granger? Hermione Granger? My eyes fly open, but the light is too bright, and I shut them immediately, wincing. But I know it’s her. 

“Well, I guess there’s nothing to do,” Theo mutters. It’s so strange to hear them like this, all worried and defeated. 

“Come on, Harry, let’s go get something to drink. Sorry for dragging you two into this,” Pansy sighs. “I know it was your last time to meet before Granger leaves.”

“It’s fine. Hermione insisted,” Harry replies. The door opens. No. Don’t leave again. Please—

“Don’t go—” the words shoot out of me. “Please—” And maybe she recognizes the words from late-night Patronuses and my hand tight around hers when I was lost and she pulled me out of darkness, because she turns back and takes my hand.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispers. There’s a rustle of her turning around. “I’ll stay here a bit longer. You guys should go ahead of me.” And this time, she doesn’t let go.

I wake up to curls tickling my neck. Or at least, I think I wake up. I don’t want it to be a dream as she kisses my forehead and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. And I want it to be a dream as she steps away from my bed and opens the door, leaving once again.

six months later.

I walk down the street with my recording in hand. It’s been six months, and I think I’ve learned to live without her voice every morning. Maybe. I wish she walked away after our first official meeting as my reformation counsellor. A year ago, she walked into my living room with two mugs of tea and told me that she would be by my side for the next three months—

“Fuck off, Mudblood,” I told her, the slur slipping out of my mouth.

“Words mean nothing without conviction,” she said, her expression hardening but with an easy smile.

“You sound like Aunt Bella when she taught me how to do the Unforgivables,” I replied. 

“You stopped saying mudblood with hate in Fourth Year at the World Cup. Remember? You told me that they were looking for mudbloods like me. But there was no hate. You were horrified, maybe?” Her easy smile never slipped. 

“You fucki—”

“You stopped saying that word with conviction when I saw you in Seventh Year. Maybe because of the Astronomy Tower—” I flinched, a motion that didn’t go unnoticed by her. Her gaze sharpened, but she continued. “So now, when you say it with neither hate nor conviction, they’re just two words. Put a word in the middle, say ‘not,’ and it becomes ‘mud not blood.’ Then it could be like we went to the cinema and you were scared of the ‘blood’ in a black and white film. Maybe I would’ve turned to you and said, “It’s mud, not blood.” She smiled at me in that annoyingly smug way of hers, like she just beat me in test scores.

“You’re fucking delusional,” I spat. 

“True,” she replied lightly. She got up, easy expression gone. “But Draco Lucius Malfoy, you’re delusional if you think that you’re going to sabotage my chances to become a better candidate for Department Head of the Magical Creatures Department.”

“Ah, I knew you had some ulterior motives,” I said, vindicated. “You aren’t a selfless hero, Granger. I knew it.”

“And did you ever think I was?” She smiled at me, a sharp smile that was more teeth than happiness. 

“Better you than Potthead,” I replied. “But you’ve got to wonder, could someone who isn’t a selfless hero become Department Head?”

“Seeing that your father was on the Board of Directors of Hogwarts, clearly,” she replied flippantly.

“You don’t know shit about my family,” I snarled. 

“Hmm. Another thing to talk about.” She made a note on her page. “Well, Draco, I’m glad we could have this little heart-to-heart. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“I won’t,” I muttered.

“Oh, you will, Draco Malfoy. Even if I have to hunt you down myself. Now that I know that you hate this, I’m even more motivated to do my job.” 

“You’re loitering,” a familiar voice calls, jerking me out of my memory. 

“Parks,” I say, trying to regain my composure. “I came to visit you.”

“Clearly, seeing that you stood in front of my store for three minutes already,” Pansy replies. “Well, come in. I’m mending one of my pieces right now, but you can talk.”

Inside the backroom of Pansy’s store, she annoyedly snaps her thread with her teeth and rummages around in her box of threads. She chooses a gold thread and looks up. 

“Well, aren’t you going to say anything?” Her eyes flash.

“No. You were the one who told me to come visit you from time to time. It’s not like there’s anything new to say,” I reply flatly. Pansy grabs a tiny diamond bead and starts sewing it on the shimmery black fabric of a dress.

“Did you know that she wore this dress?” Pansy asks after a long pause. 

“Hermione?” I ask, glancing at the dress again.

“To the War Anniversary ball a year ago. For twenty minutes before she got too worked up about you ignoring her letters and stormed your house,” Pansy answers dryly.

“Ah,” I say, slightly sheepish. “Is that how she lost some of the beads?”

“Yeah. It was partly my fault, because this is a vintage from the 1920s, and I didn’t sew on these beads correctly because it was a last minute job,” Pansy replies. “You know, she always goes running when she knows you’re hurt.” 

“You know, I think I’ve told you many times that I don’t want to talk about her,” I snap.

“You continued the conversation about her,” Pansy counters. “Why are you so scared to even fathom that she could care about you?”

“Because she doesn’t. Because she left. And because if I get my hopes up, it’ll hurt even more,” I grind out. 

“It’s your funeral, Draco. But when I came home to tell Harry to close the shop for me because I’d be staying with you, and he was with Hermione, the moment I said why, she bolted up and Floo’d to St Mungo’s,” Pansy says. She sews on another bead. 

“She’d do that for Weasley,” I reply softly. 

“Weasley and Granger—” Pansy cuts herself off and shakes her head. “She’s back. Go talk to her. You two deserve that at least.” She mutters something darkly under her breath about oblivious, stubborn asses before she looks up, surprised that I’m still here. “If you’re just going to stand around, go get me some tea,” she sighs. “Make yourself useful.”

After a couple hours of making myself useful, I walk out of Pansy’s shop, arms laden with packages for delivery, another one of her chores. After sending the packages off, I sigh and lean against the brick wall outside Pansy’s shop. She’s back. Go talk to her. I groan and bang my head against the wall. You two are a pair of oblivious, stubborn asses. I bang my head back against the wall again. She always goes running when she knows you’re hurt. The hardest thump yet. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she leaned closer, almost as if—

“I told you to stop doing that,” says a voice. My eyes fly open, and I already know who I’m going to see. Brown curls, Muggle “denim,” sparkling brown eyes, and that honey voice. 

“Gra—Granger,” I stammer. 

“Don’t call me that, it reminds me of our Hogwarts years,” she rolls her eyes, that same sarcasm that I remember from a year ago. “I thought we were on a first name basis.”

And just like that, it’s like no time passed. “Okay, Hermione, sorry I’m a little rusty after not talking to you for a year.” 

“Oh, Draco, our relationship is forever,” Hermione grins. 

“Ah yes. You were my therapist,” I remark. That was all we were, right? Just say something to prove what I’ve known this entire time. “Very touchy feely.”

“If we’re being accurate—” Hermione pauses for my long sigh at her catchphrase, right on cue— “I was your reformation counsellor, meant to help your smooth transition into post-War life!”

“Quoted that from the handbook, did you?” I grin and gesture for her to walk with me. 

“Of course. Never go anywhere without it. And I never say anything without good proof,” she adds. 

“You said a lot of things,” I say quietly. “You said that you’d never get on a broom—”

“You were a good teacher,” Hermione shrugs. “I taught you so much Muggle culture, so you just returned the favour. The polite thing to do.”

“You said that you would force me to let you do your job, but I just ended up telling you anyway,” I say.

“On you, not me,” Hermione shrugs. “I just gave it a little time. After the War Anniversary incident, things progressed fast enough for me to not Bombarda my way into your house.” 

“Oh, please, my wards wouldn’t let you,” I scoff. “You tried.” 

“Maybe I’ve been practising. But try again. What have I said without good proof?” Hermione’s eyes dart up at me with a clear challenge.

“You said you’d write,” I say, voice unwavering but much too soft. She catches it. That’s how she was such a good counsellor. How she was able to know everything without me needing to tell her. 

“I’m sorry. I—Blaise told me that you didn’t let anyone talk about me, so I thought you didn’t want to hear from me. I thought I made a mistake in—” she sighs. “Caring. Too much.”

I don’t know what that means. For the brightest witch of her age, her words are suddenly cryptic. “I think I cared too much as well.” There. That kind of strategic wording that I’ve learned all my life.

“Yeah?” I don’t know when we got so close, but the setting sun sets her hair on fire, and her eyes sparkle. I’m painfully reminded of sunset in my garden, brushing dirt off her cheek, tucking a wayward curl behind her ear and the way her eyes fluttered shut before she got a patronus from Weasley and hurried off. I step away. She’s engaged. Or maybe married. Or maybe—

“How’s Weasley doing?” I ask. “I know it’s late, but congratulations.”

“For what?” she asks, puzzled.

“The engagement? I honestly haven’t been keeping up with the society pages, but Parks told me,” I say. 

“Oh!” Hermione gasps. “We broke up a while ago. Amicable. We agreed that we’re better off as friends and neither of us wanted to throw ten years away.” She shrugs.

So maybe her “caring, too much,” was not just a friendly sentence. Maybe—

“Are you free after this? For dinner?” Another cryptic sentence that I can’t puzzle out. I’m tempted to just ask her outright, but I can’t bear to lose her having just found her again.

“Sure. I know a place,” I tell her. And I wish that this night would never end.

“So you’re telling me that Pansy broke your wards on Valentine’s Day, left pink hearts and cupids everywhere, shoved Blaise into the bed with you and left?” she’s laughing, head tossed back as we stumble into the street. There’s the evidence of the two bottles of wine that we drained on her wine-dark lips.

“She thought I was lonely—” I roll my eyes, unable to stop the smile spreading across my face. 

“Aww, have you been lonely ever since I left?” she asks jokingly. My eyes soften at the sparkle in her eyes.

“Yes,” I answer truthfully. “Honestly, yes. I missed you. Even though I heard your voice every day that year—”

“My radio program?” she asks incredulously. 

“I tuned in every day,” I admit. “It was like you were there, but not.” I huff out a laugh. “Until you left for Romania without any warning.” 

“I can’t believe you listened to all of my programs!” She flushes even more. “That’s so…”

“Well you accomplished your mission,” I shrug. “To use your influence to help people. You helped me. And your fans.”

“You were my hardest case.” She bumps my shoulder. “I guess I cracked you.”

“You melted me,” I laugh. “When I saw you today, I thought I was hallucinating you from looking at your pictures in the Prophet too much. Just another fan.”

“Who would’ve thought that you would’ve become my biggest fan,” Hermione muses. 

“Who would’ve thought that you’d still be such a pure hero after all these years,” I tease. 

“You think I’m pure?” Hermione asks, voice going low. She blinks up at me from under those feathered eyelashes, gaze shifting into something hotter. 

“I think you could have such filthy thoughts,” I whisper. “I haven’t seen proof yet.”

“Ever the perfect researcher,” she whispers back, hooking an arm around my neck and pulling me down into a kiss. It’s everything I thought it would be in full colour, the swipe of her tongue over my lips, her fingers clutching the hair at my neck. I pull her closer to me, teeth scraping over her lip as she shudders. I smile against her mouth, pushing her against the wall.

“You started this,” I breathe, pulling my fingers through her curls, tangling them further. I pull away, resting my forehead against her, breaths synchronising. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that ever since Harry cut his finger off and Ron patronused me to come and fix it,” Hermione breathes. I look down at her flushed cheeks, kissed lips and mussed hair and I smile.

“I’ve been wanting to do that in some capacity since I met you,” I laugh, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. I look up at the stars, finding Sirius and Andromeda and Draco like Hermione taught me. Dusk is setting in, light from the lively shops streaming into the street. I look over at Hermione Granger and smile. The sky is endless, and I hold the world in my arms. 

[remmyswritings]

Knots for Nott// theodore “teddy” nott x reader

HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL PUFFS! I figured I’d share with you my first of two requests that I wrote/will be writing today. Thank you @booksmusicteaandanimals​ for the AMAZING IDEA!!! The main idea: Theo and the reader communicate through knots. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy this!!!

tag list: @booksmusicteaandanimals​, @curious-curios​, @summer-writes​, @willowbleedsonpaper​, @strawberriesonsummer​, @jenniweaslee​, @cherrycolakxsses​, @peeves-a-legend​, @heart-of-tempered-steel​

*Not my image, found on Unsplash*

Even after being with Theo for the past 7 years and having been engaged for the past year, you still couldn’t quite believe how it is that the two of you got together. You could still remember how you first caught Theo’s attention all those years ago.

It was already the middle of your 5th year and to help keep yourself calm with all the changes Umbridge was making you started tying different knots on small pieces of string and making braids with them. You had first started making them for yourself, but then your roommates saw them and asked if they could have some, which then led to other students (some who you didn’t even know) asking for you to make some as well. You couldn’t really say that you had created a business since you never made students pay but sometimes you were given something in return, whether it was notes, handmade items, even food (especially from Honeydukes… you had a HUGE sweet tooth). One day, however, you decided that you would share your special knots with even more students, you couldn’t help it with your Hufflepuff nature. And that, gals and guys, is how you meet Theodore Nott.

You had packaged up the knot which was all green and told the owl, “Send this knot to a Slytherin.”

Turns out, the owl hadn’t heard the word “knot” instead they heard the name Nott. At least that’s what you think occurred. Which resulted in Theodore Nott receiving a random package one Wednesday morning, with a little note attached, “I hope you enjoy this knot as much as I enjoyed making it! - The Knot Puff”

Theo pulled out the ivory green knot and couldn’t help but admire the design. You had made a simple knot, one typically used to start braids, and wrapped one string around the other in an infinity design until you close the design with a bowline knot. There was still some string left over, just enough for him to tie the design to his bag, which is exactly what he did. Then Theo went on his way, looking down at the way the green knot stood out against his caramel colored bag. For the next week or so, he waited hoping for another knot from you. He no longer cared if you had sent it to him by mistake, he just hoped that another package would somehow make its way to him.

Blaise, noticing the change in his behavior, tried to figure out why he cared so much about the post. That is, until he saw the design hanging off of his bag. Unlike Theo, Blaise had the chance to partner with you in class before and knew exactly who the knot belonged to. So as to bring more smiles to Theo’s face, Blaise decided to send you a letter… only he sent it to you under Theo’s name and not his own.

While he knew that you were rather smart and observant, he didn’t realize that you would recognize his handwriting. So he couldn’t help but be shocked by the response that you had sent Theo, along with another knot.

“Dear Blaise,

Yes! I know it’s you, don’t think that just because we were only partners for the first couple of months in Potions I wouldn’t recognize your handwriting when I saw it. I mean, honestly, I’m a bit disappointed you didn’t recognize a fellow observant person. And while I appreciate the sentiment of your letter, please don’t you ever do that again, because I swear to god I will stuff a quill up your ass and make sure it stays there. 

Now Theo, I’m happy knowing that you enjoyed my knot. And while I’m sad you never sent me a letter in response, I could understand why. I don’t typically share my identity with students who receive my surprise knots, but I will with you. My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I’m a fifth year Hufflepuff, and sadly enough I had to deal with your friend Zabini for the first half of the year in potions. I will happily make you more knots if you want, just send me a letter!

Love,

The Knot Puff”

Theo couldn’t help but slap Blaise on the back of his head lightly, “Why’d you have to go and write to her?”

“Please, I was doing you a favor,” Theo continued to glare at him, “Ok, it was more like I was doing myself a favor. You wouldn’t stop moping when you wouldn’t get a package so I figured I’d make sure that she’d send you one.”

Theo looked down at the small knot that you had sent him and couldn’t help but smile. This time it was a golden yellow, the color typically associated with your house. He went and tied it next to the first one he had received from you and couldn’t help but feel giddy at the fact that he’d be able to receive more from you.

He thought about it and decided to write to you straight away. The letter was rather simple, but then again so was he. All it said:

“Thank you for the yellow knot. It complements the green one I got very well. I was wondering if you had any light pink colors that you could use to make the next one. That was my mother’s favorite color. -Teddy Nott”

And that’s how your relationship started. It was slow but extremely sweet. You weren’t sure when, probably another time when Blaise pushed Theo, but it went from sending letters and knots to getting Butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks and teaching him how to actually make all your designs at night in either the Slytherin or Hufflepuff common room. There were times when the two of you would act, as Blaise called it, all “lovey-dovey” to the point where he would groan in frustration at the two of you. 

When that would happen, you would merely send him a look, “You know, if I remember correctly it was your idea to send me a letter in the first place so you can’t go around and complain about us being in a relationship now.”

You couldn’t wait to finally be able to call your Theo your husband. You fixed the knots that you had made for today, wrapping them around your wrists as bracelets. There were three: a yellow, a green, and a light pink. The best part was that Theo didn’t even know you were doing this, you got to surprise your love once again on your wedding day. 

As you stared at yourself in the mirror, you saw a head pop into the room through the reflection. It was the man who started this relationship in the first place.

“You ready to go darling,” Blaise stepped into the room with his black suit all prepared and a little pink rose sticking out of his suit.

You could only nod feeling a rush of emotions go through you as you realized that it was time for you to walk down the aisle.

Blaise saw straight through you, “Y/N I know you are probably feeling a lot right now, but I need you to hold those tears in till later because Theo would probably kill me if he saw you crying before you finished walking down the aisle.”

“Oh please,” you sniffled, “We’ll both be sobbing by the time we get to the altar, and besides I know for a fact you are going to shed a few tears yourself.” You smirked.

Blaise walked you out of the room you were in and down the stairs, leading you to the backyard of the house you were in. After everything that had happened, you and Theo had decided on a small wedding consisting of close friends and family. Your friends like Hermione, Ginny, and Luna had come alongside their partners and Theo’s friends like Draco and Daphne Greengrass had also come with their partners. If anyone had told you years ago that your two completely different friend groups would be all together in one venue, you would have laughed in their face. But the war and the pain that you all shared made you learn to move on and forgive one another for everything that happened. 

Just like you told Blaise, Theo and you had started sobbing before you had even finished walking down the aisle. Theo couldn’t help but cry harder at the knots that you had wrapped around your wrist. To him, they were so much more than just pretty designs, they were a symbol of how your relationship started and how much you loved one another, nothing could break the bond between the two of you. And in a way, it was all thanks to that fateful letter Blaise had sent that random Wednesday. 

[chasingthepoguelife]

I did it for you

So here's my Gabe x Nolan one shot, with a side of Thiam. It's an AU after 6x20 and Gabe never died. Beware there is smut! Let me know what you think Gabe had been granted the greatest mercy of all time. Liam pushed him out of the way when the rest of Monroe's men were shooting at them. When he got hit in the shoulder, Scott brought him to his mother where she removed the bullet and stitched him up. Theo had voluntarily took his pain away, but the greatest mercy of all was when Scott let him go, no strings attached. Scott let him go back to his family, but a home he had no more. His parents didn't know who their son was anymore. He had lost his best friend Nolan to Scott's pack. Nolan never wanting to see him again. Gabe survived but with each day he kept thinking that he'd rather be dead than be alone like this. "Nolan, were one week away from our first game as co captains. You're behavior is starting to worry me," Liam expressed. "It's nothing to worry about Liam. I just have a lot on my mind," Nolan lied. Nolan was over the moon to be co captains with Liam, even more so to be an ally of the McCall pack after everything that happened. The only price he had to pay was losing the most important person in his life, Gabe. Not a day went by without Nolan thinking about the boy who'd been there for him all these years, the boy who protected and cared for him. Nolan missed him everyday and had an aching pain to be close to him again. When Gabe overheard Monroe talking about Nolan as the weakest link, he knew he had to do something. The thought of losing Nolan from this world gave him chest pains. From the night Gabe shot up Scott's house, he's had a different feeling in his body for Nolan, a feeling he's never had for anyone else. The only thing keeping Nolan sane was long runs in the woods late at night, with no one to question him. He'd start to think as he made his way to the path in the woods, passing Liam's house. He'd think about how Theo would always be waiting to pick Liam up from practice everyday. How they'd hold hands in the hallways, how Liam would nuzzle his face into Theo's neck every movie night. He'd think about how all he wanted to do was to be able to smells Gabe's scent and hold his hand. After a few days, he'd realized he was in love with a boy he could never be with. Nolan ran farther than usual when the thought of Gabe appeared in his mind. He thought the further he ran, the less Gabe would be in his mind, but it was in fact the opposite. After his long run, he found himself knocking on Liam's door. "I'm ready to tell you what's been bothering me," Nolan said. "Yeah, come on in. I'm listening," Liam said. "I' just going to come out and say this and I don't care if you don't like it or if you disapprove but you need to know and it's been killing me keeping this to myself," said an out of breath Nolan. "Yeah I'm all ears." "I've had this void in my life since that night at the hospital. I haven't been able to pinpoint what that void has been until recently. With the pack accepting me and being co captains, I'm still missing something...someone, Gabe," Nolan shared. "Nolan, we've been through this many times. He had a chance to change like you did and he spat in our faces. There are plenty of other guys they can be your best friend. You'll find your Mason," Liam tried to reassure him. Nolan got up and impulsively threw everything off Liam's living room table. "You don't get it! Nolan yelled in Liam's face. "Gabe isn't my Mason, he's my Theo!" As far as plot twists goes, this was the most unexpected one for Liam. "What do you mean he's your Theo?" Liam asked. "My feelings for him changed. It happened out of nowhere but it just did after everything we've been through. I know he was the bad guy and I know he made wrong decisions but people can change, just look at Theo." That's all it took for Liam to understand what Nolan was feeling. Theo was the last person Liam expected to fall in love with. After everything Theo did, he proved his loyalty to Liam and the pack, and won Liam's heart. If Liam was honest, he has never been happier with Theo in his life. "I guess it's a good thing you came to the one person who can sympathize with you," Liam shared. "listen carefully. I still hate Gabe and I don't approve of this but I don't want you to hurt or be off your game. Go find him talk to him work things out and then you come back here and we'll figure out how to tell Scott and the rest of the pack." "Thank you so much Liam!" With that, Nolan bolted out of Liam's house, running for Gabe's house, faster than he's ever ran before. Gabe was ready to shut the lights and go to sleep. Since everyone in the community had shunned him, going to sleep before 10 was a new normal. He had his hand on the light switch when he saw the most unbelievable thing, a running Nolan headed for his house. With that, Gabe ran downstairs and nothing but his boxers, waiting for Nolan. "Gabe!" Nolan yelled while running. Gabe was standing in his front door, The door wide open for Nolan's arrival. Nolan did not stop running until he was a few feet from Gabe. He collided with the taller boy, running into him with open arms that fully enveloped Gabe. The two boys sat in the door frame for what seemed liked hours holding each other. "Gabe I'm so sorry," Nolan sniffled. "I should've come sooner. I'm sorry for leaving you all alone." "you don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm the one that punched you and betrayed innocent people," Gabe rightfully said. "I know and thought I can never forgive you, but I was wrong. It's been terrible not having you in my life all of a sudden After all these years. It hasn't been the same," Nolan admitted. "It's been so painful , so dark and lonely. My own family won't even look at me. The Only thing keeping me together are the thoughts of you," a frazzled Gabe said. "But the real reason I came here is to finally admit something to you. Things have changed between us ever since you told me you're the one who shot up Scott's house. First I was mad at you for hurting innocent people but then it didn't take me long to realize that I was it mad, denial. In denial that things have changed between us. You've been my friend for all these years but I don't want to be just your friend anymore." "Nolan," Gabe said grabbing Nolan's face. "It scared the crap out of me today that Monroe said she was gonna eliminate you. Of course I was scared because you're my best friend, but it was much deeper than that. My entire body experiences pain just thinking about the person I love dying." "Did you just?" Nolan asked. "Yeah Nolan, I love you. I love you so much that's it's been the only feeling in this world that has hurt me as much as it's made me happy. After the night at the hospital I thought I'd lost you forever." "Maybe you did for a little bit," Nolan gestured with his thumb and index finger. "Well you don't have to worry anymore because you're never lose me again." The two boys lowered their heads with their foreheads now touching, starring deeply into each other's eyes. Nolan pushed up on his top toes, and Gabe lowered his head just enough to make their mouths meet. Nolan was in the sweet bliss of smelling Gabe again, and Gabe had forgotten every other person he's ever kissed. Their wide mouths continued on each other, hands messing up their hair. Now backed into the threshold of the door way, Gabe had Nolan pushed up against the wall of the foyer, now with a closed door. Nolan started moving his hands over Gabe's shirtless torso. "I love you so much Nolan," Gabe whispered into his ear. "I love you too," Nolan moaned as Gabe nibbled his ear. After more of exploring each other's mouths, Gabe was hard through his thin fabric boxers, and the tent in Nolan's shorts could not be hidden. Gabe took Nolan's hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom, wasting no time, pushing Nolan onto the bed. Gabe attached his lips onto Nolan again, earning nothing this time around. "Nolan babe," Gabe asked. "Is this ok?" "Yeah it's more than ok. I'm just nervous because I've never done this with the guy before." "Neither have I, but I heard it supposed to be much better when it's with someone you love. Just say the word about anything you don't like, it's up to you," Gabe reassured him. To Gabe's surprise, that must have given Nolan a boost of confidence when Nolan flipped Gabe off him and was now on top of him. "You've been through so much. I can't imagine the loneliness and hurt, but you deserve to know that you're loved and that all The loneliness and darkness is gone. I want to make you feel good," Nolan shared. Nolan lowered his body to reach Gabe's mouth. He kissed Gabe softly for a few seconds, until he started licking and kissing along Gabe's defined jaw line, trailing his tongue up and down between his ear and neck. "Even your neck tastes good," Nolan whispered into Gabe's ear. Nolan moved his lips and tongue from Gabe's wet neck to his chest, sucking on his right nipple and massing the left with his hand. Gabe thought it was a big stretch to even imagine being friends with Nolan again, let alone hearing him say he loves him to him sucking on his nipples. "Still ok?" Nolan looked up at Gabe. "Amazing. Just keep making your way down south," Gabe said earning a laugh from Nolan. Nolan moved his body further down, both their hips fitting together like a puzzle. Just the movement of Nolan's breathing created enough pressure to earn more moans from Gabe. Nolan kept teasing him a little bit by spending time kissing and licking his beautiful abs. Gabe was ready when Nolan decided to tease him one more time. Gabe grabbed Nolan and looked him in the eyes. "My thighs don't need anymore attention babe." "You've always been impatient since we were kids." "Shhh," Gabe gestured. "You have a job to finish." Nolan left all the games aside and pulled down Gabe's boxers. He was nervous looking at the love of his life's dick, but for the split second he looked up and saw Gabe smiling like he's never seen before, it was more than just a sexual act between the two. Gabe lowered his head and opened his mouth onto Gabe. Nolan just started licking him everywhere, no rhythm or technique, but Gabe didn't seem to mind. "Any louder and all the werewolves in Beacon Hills will hear you," Nolan commented before having Gabe in his mouth again. Gabe continued to moan as Nolan's mouth worked on him. His moaning and panting only made Nolan lick and suck harder, looking up at him every so often with his messy hair. "Nolan, yes, Nolan! Right there so I can-" Before Gabe could finish his words, he had finished all over Nolan's face. He continued panting all the way through as Nolan cleaned up. Nolan got off his knees and climbed onto the bed next to Gabe. "I can name 1 million things that could happen way before what we just did," Gabe said. "Can I assume we can do this more often?" Nolan asked. "Only if next time I can take care of you?" Gabe asked. "Deal," Nolan agreed. "But as long as we do other boyfriend stuff too." "Us? Boyfriends?" Gabe questioned. "What about everyone else?" "Well Liam was actually the one who told me to come here. He doesn't approve but this is what he went through with Theo, so eventually the pack will know and accept this," Nolan said holding Gabe in his arms. The boys stared at each other lovingly with passion, like there was no one else in the world, until a distant noise interrupted them. The door swung open and both boys scrambled to cover themselves with the sheets. "Liam, Theo! What the hell are you guys doing here?" Nolan yelled. Liam just stared at the almost naked boys with his jaw wide open. "I told you they'd be naked by now. Can't believe you didn't smell it when we walked through the doorway," Theo said holding his boyfriend's hand. "Ok this is too much, Theo, we're leaving!" Liam demanded. "So we can have sex?" Theo teased. "We'll see you guys later," Theo chuckled as he chased Liam out of Gabe's bedroom.

[precipicles]

quick notes on some Sad Thoughts from last night

a day after drinking, i have realized:

on my drinking experience

i hate the taste of alcohol

(except for smirnoff because it tastes like coke. everything else tastes like pee. not that i know how pee would taste like, but if it did taste like anything, that would be it) 

i also hate how it feels 

all inhibition, prudence, and sense of rationality jump out the window 

whenever i say something, my line of thinking is: “i don’t care anymore” and i just,,, say shit

interestingly enough, everything i say, i mean.

they’re all things i’ve been wanting to say for the longest time or things i’ve generally kept in 

but never said because i didn’t find them very necessary to let out/don’t know what i would’ve done or what i would’ve expected to have done had i actually said those things

a lot of the things i said though that i shouldn’t have, i said at the wrong time. all wrong timing. would come out eventually but this was not the time nor place. i lacked in prudence and self-control. 

nevertheless, i see why people enjoy it. and why they do is very interesting to me. 

in a way, i’d call it the “alcohol excuse” -- it’s a mix of the chemical aspect and the sociological aspect i guess, at least based on my experience. because of the alcohol (chemical), you lose self-control. because of the meaning attached to drinking alcohol (sociological - symbolic-interaction), a part of you feels justified in doing what you do because you drank. it’s just a thing that happens when you drink. that’s what i was feeling a lot. i guess i used it as an excuse. thankfully i caught myself.

in line with that, catching yourself is a very important thing.

i guess if you’re the type of person that needs that extra push when saying difficult things, when confronting things, or if you generally have difficulty in letting loose, then alcohol is a great kickstarter. the fact that everyone around you is doing things and not acting themselves reinforces that you can just be yourself. both the chemical and the sociological milieu validate your behavior and it’s reinforcing. 

this somehow turned into a post on alcohol culture. 

i’d like to research on this more. 

on the things i realized about myself: quality time

they say, “tell me your love language, and i’ll tell you your childhood trauma”

my main love language is quality time.

(in terms of receiving) 

with regards to my childhood trauma, i guess it’s lacking in that. lacking in valuable time spent together, forming connections, and actually enjoying each other’s company. i didn’t get that from friends or family. and now it’s so valuable when i receive it. 

quality time is the best gift anyone can ever give me. 

but it’s so sad because, as someone that grew up very individualistic and career-oriented, time is very limited and often reserved for extracurricular activities or general activities that focus on self-improvement. 

but i guess forming connections is an aspect of self-development as well. 

i guess i just have to be mindful about how i spend my time, and who i spend it with. 

i think with regards to the giving love language, we love in the way we know how to, and i guess mine’s through physical touch (which i received a lot as a kid - personally, it’s the easiest to give as a sort of cop-out -- for me at least -- because it doesn’t require as much connection. it doesn’t require talking about the difficult stuff. it doesn’t require chemistry. you can touch and touch and touch but still not actually enjoy each other’s company. i don’t like this love language of mine. but i guess, i love you when i say i do, maybe my giving is words of affirmation or general efforts and acts of service -- the handwriten notes, the vitamilk stopovers, the errand runs -- those are the valuable things i give. 

i think errand runs are valuable to me because it’s quality time while i pursue what i love doing: being productive. 

on the things i realized about myself: insecurity & some things related to c

i’m pretty insecure.

in line with that last bullet in the previous subsection, i base a lot of my self-worth based on my work. 

this is unhealthy. 

and then i overcompensate by trying to get love from other people. 

i guess i saw what happened to my parents and i guess: i don’t ever want to be someone’s first choice. 

i want to be their only choice. 

i’d rather not be liked at all than be liked and know that there’s probably someone out there that could fill in for me if i fuck up. 

it’s like competition in business or something -- you have to stay sharp. 

it’s tiring. 

and i guess that’s how i feel with c. knowing that he has other happy crushes and still uses bumble -- i can’t, i can’t do that to myself.

and i can’t force it because he isn’t ready for anything exclusive either.

i think the right thing to do would be to save face and walk away. 

because there’s also this small chance: what if i don’t like him, and i’m really just trying to fill that void where i’d finally be someone’s unconditional choice?  

the sad thing is that the rationality of conditionality is also a thing. of course our love is conditional. we’re only human. you don’t stay in toxic relationships for a reason. i don’t know how any of that works honestly. maybe i just want something permanent for once and i need something to hold onto. my life is a mess right now. 

i think i might legitimately need jesus.

those church people say that god will love you unconditionally. i want that right now. it pains me to keep searching for something that i won’t get from a person. 

when will i ever be enough for myself?

on self-healing

i have to be there for myself.

i want to be enough for myself. 

i want to go back to my original goal: i want to make myself proud. 

on things related to c

i said i loved him. 

he didn’t say it back.

he used like in the past tense.

is it time to get over you? what are we? no cop-out answers this time. i’m sorry if this is messy, but i can’t keep doing this -- i don’t even know what this is -- if i don’t know where this is going. 

because god damn it, i’d be willing to wait. because you are a really great person and some days we have really great conversations and what if i don’t find anyone else better. ang tino mo. what if i never find something like this again? 

do you love him for the opportunity or for him? 

i think it’s the first. don’t waste your time or his. 

i feel like we need more time to finally act well around each other. to both get our shit together. to know for sure that nothing is wasted. 

then take a break and try again some other time. 

but the friendship -- 

then take a break and try another time. 

but isn’t it better to just leave things as they are and stay friends even if it hurts rather than taking a break and having things be bad for awhile and maybe not being friends again

he said he didn’t want to confess because he didn’t want to lose me 

i don’t wanna show him that he was right.

i don’t wanna hurt him.

but wouldn’t you think it would hurt more if you didn’t take the break and would just keep hurting yourself until you just became toxic in general eventually? 

sometimes you have to think of yourself so you can be the best of yourself for other people. 

work on yourself first. 

some actionable items

research on reparenting techniques 

tell everyone you’re being overstimualted and that you need a break

talk to m -- she had no right to tell g; talk to g, tell him you’re sorry 

continue being mindful about the things you do. 

focus on yourself first. 

talk to theo prof about finding a church community

check out aclc as well 

continue journalling

also, i’m proud of the dance instagram you started. do that everyday. 

[stocksnewsfeed]

College of DuPage Helps Juveniles in Detention at Illinois Youth Center Warrenville Earn College Credit

Glen Ellyn, Ill., Sept. 12, 2019 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) — Six youth in secured care at IYC Warrenville began college this fall at College of DuPage. Through a longstanding partnership with COD, the youths are enrolled in five credit hours of courses this semester with additional offerings available in the spring.Access to education has the ability to change lives, Heidi Mueller, Director of the Department of Juvenile Justice, said.“Youth in the juvenile justice system need to believe that they have a future and the adults around them need to nurture that belief and see their potential as well. The faculty at COD dedicate their time to not only teaching these kids but to showing them they are worthy humans with exponential potential,” she said.The courses were piloted last year with a hybrid schedule of IYC Warrenville youth attending classes at their facility and on COD’s Glen Ellyn campus. Given the success of the pilot, this year students are taking all available courses—College Success Skills, Career Development, Short Stories and Speech—on the COD campus. Courses are taught by COD Manager of Student Life Chuck Steele, English Professor Jackie McGrath and Criminal Justice Professor Stacie Haen-Darden.Prior to the establishment of the program, the Illinois Department of Juvenile Justice (DJJ) did not have a post-secondary collegiate opportunity for the youth at IYC Warrenville, making it the only youth center in Illinois to not have an affiliation with a local college.Mueller said that through its partnership with COD, the DJJ is able to fulfill its vision of creating a prison-to-college pipeline for all youth centers under their jurisdiction.“At DJJ, we found ourselves with this sort of positive problem of increasing the number of youth graduating from high school while in our care—seeing that light and motivation turn on in them as they start to realize their potential—but not having a lot of post-secondary options for them. College of DuPage has provided them with the opportunity to continue on with education and has given them the confidence to reach for their hopes and dreams,” she said.COD Criminal Justice Professors Theo Darden and Stacie Haen-Darden were instrumental in forging the longstanding partnership between COD and IYC Warrenville that began more than a decade ago when former IYC Warrenville Superintendent Judy Davis sat on the College’s Criminal Justice Advisory Board.After years of COD criminal justice students volunteering at the youth center to gain professional experience, the idea of the college credit partnership program developed. Haen-Darden secured a Resource for Excellence Grant, funded by the COD Foundation to launch the pilot.Haen-Darden’s passion for this educational initiative stems from her belief that many kids who commit crimes come from broken backgrounds, but they can have a promising future if offered the right support.“Many times, kids commit crimes because of physical, sexual or emotional abuse they have encountered in their lives,” she said. “They haven’t come from a background rich with opportunities or resources to succeed. When incarcerated, they often don’t have the same access as everyone else to education—and the sad part is, many of them never did. When we look at rehabilitation, you can’t question that the more education you have, be it youth or adults, the less likely you are to re-offend.”The partnership between COD and IYC Warrenville is one of many efforts implemented by the DJJ to effectively reverse the school-to-prison pipeline. DJJ youth who participate in post-secondary education options have a statistically lower chance of re-offending and re-entering the system, Mueller said.“What’s so important about this particular program at COD is that it provides the youth not only with the educational instruction but with this normative experience of actually being able to go on campus and experience what college life is like,” she said. “Once our youth start to realize they are smart and that this path can be real for them, they become so incredibly focused and motivated.”One student who participated in the pilot called her experience at COD life changing.“These classes have taught me to love myself more and to understand the kind of person I am,” she said. “When something bad happens to you, or if you have been through a traumatic experience, this doesn’t mean that you get left behind. Just because we are or were in the system does not have to mean that we’re stuck in it. We have to make the decision to change paths and realize we’re important and we just need a guiding hand to lead the way. Sometimes I feel like I’m not college material, almost like I’m not smart enough, but now I know if I work hard enough, I can do it. I can do anything.”COD student Julia Rigney saw firsthand how important this opportunity was to the youth. Through her internship in COD’s Criminal Justice program, Rigney ran weekly study halls where she helped students with their homework and guided them through weekly journaling exercises. What she thought would simply be a resume builder turned out to be a life-formative experience, she said.“One of the most rewarding experiences that I had was watching the students excel and go from not believing they could go to college to wanting to pursue a college career,” she said. “Many of the students just need someone to believe in them and their ability to succeed. The most important lesson this experience has taught me is that we as a society cannot put a high enough value on human life.”The potential for this program is vast, IYC Warrenville Superintendent Tajudeen Ibrahim said.“We had a youth leave our care while school was in session, and they still participated in the college program from home—despite a long commute,” he said. “They wanted more knowledge and skills and, more importantly, they wanted to finish. We have kids who get a taste of college and continue in their pursuit of it after being released. That’s how powerful education is.”To prepare for the fall semester, Ibrahim and his staff took participating students to the COD Admissions office to tour the college campus before classes started.“We wanted to excite and motivate them,” he said. “We also wanted them to see the entire picture to help calm their fears. They were so excited to explore the connections and participate in on-campus activities. COD has been incredible to work with and we have to keep at this and keep the program going. The future of our youth is worth it.”Haen-Darden and her colleagues plan to seek more funding to expand the program.“In the future, nothing is off limits,” she said. “Starting small and slow was crucial because when you are really thinking about building a foundation, that’s what you need to do. We will build on this momentum so we have a rock-solid foundation to reach even more kids in need.”And while this program is still small and in its starting stages, Haen-Darden said it’s already making a positive impact on its students. After leaving the care of IYC Warrenville, two students who participated in the pilot are enrolled in traditional college this fall.“I plan on running with the opportunity,” one student said. “I have dreams and goals geared towards public policy and law. I want to help people less fortunate and give back to my disenfranchised community. I finally see the potential in myself that had been missing for so long. I feel transformed by this opportunity, and my family and my future family will be impacted by the COD Foundation’s generosity.”College of DuPage is regionally accredited by the Higher Learning Commission. Serving approximately 25,000 students each term, College of DuPage is the largest public community college in the state of Illinois. The College grants seven associate degrees and offers more than 170 career and technical certificates in over 50 areas of study. Attachmentiycwarrenville_newsJennifer Duda College of DuPage (630) 942-3097 dudajen@cod.edu

The post College of DuPage Helps Juveniles in Detention at Illinois Youth Center Warrenville Earn College Credit appeared on Stocks News Feed.

source https://stocksnewsfeed.com/globenewswire/college-of-dupage-helps-juveniles-in-detention-at-illinois-youth-center-warrenville-earn-college-credit/

[danithebookaholic-blog]

REVIEWS! - TEEN ROMANCE

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Valentine’s Day was last month and I made sure to partake in all the romance reeds that I could get my hands on! If love is still in the air for you, then here are a few of the Teen Romances I read last month.

Just a heads-up: you’ll need a box of tissues, your gay best friend, your big-girl (or big-boy) pants ready to speak-up, and your iTunes subscription handy for this list of must reads!

📚Cheyanne Young’s The Last Wish of Sasha Cade (2018 YA Romance) 📚Erin Hahn’s You’d Be Mine (2019 YA Contemporary Romance) 📚Marci Lyn Curtis’ The Leading Edge of Now (2018 YA Romance & Realistic Fiction on Abuse) 📚Olivia Hinebaugh’s The Birds, the Bees, and You and Me (2019 YA LGBT Romance)

From one bookaholic to another, I hope I’ve helped you find your next fix. —Dani

The Last Wish of Sasha Cade 

By Cheyanne Young

Publication Date: October 2, 2018 Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Realistic Fiction

Synopsis:

The day Raquel has been dreading for months has finally arrived. Sasha, her best friend in the whole world -- the best friend in the whole world -- has died of cancer. Raquel can’t imagine life without her. She’s overwhelmed and brokenhearted.

And then a letter from Sasha arrives. Has she somehow found a way to communicate from the afterlife?

In fact, Sasha has planned an elaborate scavenger hunt for Raquel, and when she follows the instructions to return to Sasha’s grave, a mysterious stranger with striking eyes is waiting for her. There’s a secret attached to this boy that only Sasha—and now Raquel—knows.

This boy, Elijah, might be just what Raquel needs to move on from her terrible loss. But can Raquel remain true to herself while also honoring her friend’s final wish?

Purchase:

Amazon / B&N / Kobo / Google Play / IndieBound

Review:

Young Sasha Cade is dying and has one last wish: For her best-friend, Raquel, to keep Elijah a secret and for them to complete the scavenger hunt, that Sasha devised, together.

If you are looking for a tear jerker, then look no further! The Last Wish of Sasha Cade is the teenage version of the movie P.S. I Love You, where friendship and love will survive the biggest hardships, even death.

The Last Wish of Sasha Cade is real as it gets, and shows that the grown-up world isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. Life comes with heartbreak and tragedy, but have no fear, life also comes with love and fortune. You just have to open your heart to both.

Get the box of tissues ready, because The Last Wish of Sasha Cade will have you reaching for them out of heartache and pure joy! I highly recommend to teens and adults alike.

 Dani's Score out of 5: 📚📚📚📚📚

You’d Be Mine

By Erin Hahn

Publication Date: April 2, 2019 Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance

Synopsis:

Annie Mathers is America’s sweetheart and heir to a country music legacy full of all the things her Gran warned her about. Superstar Clay Coolidge is most definitely going to end up one of those things.  But unfortunately for Clay, if he can’t convince Annie to join his summer tour, his music label is going to drop him. That’s what happens when your bad boy image turns into bad boy reality. Annie has been avoiding the spotlight after her parents’ tragic death, except on her skyrocketing YouTube channel. Clay’s label wants to land Annie, and Clay has to make it happen.  Swayed by Clay’s undeniable charm and good looks, Annie and her band agree to join the tour. From the start fans want them to be more than just tour mates, and Annie and Clay can’t help but wonder if the fans are right. But if there’s one part of fame Annie wants nothing to do with, it’s a high-profile relationship. She had a front row seat to her parents’ volatile marriage and isn’t interested in repeating history. If only she could convince her heart that Clay, with his painful past and head over heels inducing tenor, isn’t worth the risk.

Purchase:

Amazon / B&N / Kobo / Google Play / IndieBound

Review:

Young love is always great, add some Johnny and June Cash, a spunky girl and a jilted boy to the mix and you have a great romance! For anyone who reads You’d Be Mine, I highly recommend - especially if you don’t know and Johnny & June Cash songs - to keep your phone near by so you can play the many songs mentioned while reading this book. It will not only help you to understand the story on a deeper level, but it will also set the mood, and make you a Johnny & June fan! (I also recommend listening to Heidi Newfield’s song Johnny and June for any song downtime while reading. It, too, will set the mood! 😉)

But You’d Be Mine isn’t just a country music teen romance, it also deals with loss, death, and destruction, drug addiction, alcoholism, and (somewhat surprising) God. It teaches you to work hard, fight for what you believe in, and reminds you just how important family and belief is, all while making your heart ache for Clay and Annie.

Looking for a swoony read? Then You’d Be Mind is totally the book for you this week! I 100% fell in love with Clay and Annie, their music and their story, and I think you will, too!

 Dani's Score out of 5: 📚📚📚📚📚

The Leading Edge of Now

By Marci Lyn Curtis

Publication Date: September 4, 2018 Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Mystery, Abuse

Synopsis:

Just when Grace is beginning to get used to being an orphan, her estranged uncle suddenly comes forward to claim her. That might have been okay if he'd spoken to her even once since her father died. Or if moving in with Uncle Rusty didn't mean returning to New Harbor. 

Grace once spent the best summers of her life in New Harbor. Now the place just reminds her of all she's lost: her best friend, her boyfriend and any memory of the night that changed her forever. 

People say the truth will set you free, but Grace isn't sure about that. Once she starts looking for it, the truth about that night is hard to find --- and what happens when her healing hurts the people she cares about the most? 

Purchase:

Amazon / B&N / Kobo / IndieBound

Review:

The Leading Edge of Now is not your typical romance, so if you’re looking for a swoon worthy read, this is not it, however, that doesn’t mean you should not read it, just be expecting a story that goes a bit deeper than the typical teen romance.

Grace’s story is one that unfortunately needs to be told. A story of a girl who is orphaned and who later comes out about the sexual abuse she endured and has lived with quietly for years. Sadly, too many girls so through this and are too scared to speak up about it. In Marci Lyn Curtis’ The Leading Edge of Now, you go through the struggle and mental wear-down that Grace goes through everyday of holding this secret in, and the relief she finally feels when she speaks up. It’s a powerful story with some very powerful messages that girls and boys alike should read and learn.

I don’t know if my review words can do this book justice, and so, instead, I’ll leave it with a couple of my favorite quotes - and lessons - from The Leading Edge of Now:

Because life is hard and it’s messy, but it deserves to be lived. And if you’re always turning away from it, you aren’t really living it. Living, really living, is standing on the very tip of the moment - right on the leading edge of now - no matter how heartbreaking or beautiful or terrible it might be.

I’m crying again, everything inside me ripping open and spilling out, the humiliation I’ve clutched so tightly the past couple of years, the anger I’ve stuffed into my rib cage, the fear that’s cleaved to my cells. God - fear of everything. Of living and dying, of loving and desertion, of friendship and loneliness. The stupid truth of it all is that day after day I’ve been trying to protect myself from things that have been out of my control. I’ve been worrying about getting hurt or getting sick or getting abandoned. But the fact is, people like me get raped every day. People like Dad die every day. People like Owen are involved in accidents that are out of their control every single day.

The world, with all its beauty and wonder and love, is a frightening place.

 Dani's Score out of 5: 📚📚📚📚📚

The Birds, the Bees, and You and Me

By Olivia Hinebaugh

Publication Date: January 22, 2019 Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, LGBT+, Sex Education

Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Lacey Burke is the last person on the planet who should be doling out sex advice. For starters, she’s never even kissed anyone, and she hates breaking the rules. Up until now, she's been a straight-A music geek that no one even notices. All she cares about is jamming out with her best friends, Theo and Evita. But then everything changes. When Lacey sees first-hand how much damage the abstinence-only sex-ed curriculum of her school can do, she decides to take a stand and starts doling out wisdom and contraception to anyone who seeks her out in the girls' restroom. But things with Theo become complicated quickly, and Lacey is soon not just keeping everyone else’s secrets, but hers as well.

Purchase:

Amazon / B&N / Kobo / Google Play / IndieBound

Review:

The Birds, the Bees, and You and Me is a very informative book without seeming educational. If you have a tween/teen (or are one) looking for answers about sex, then this is a great book to pick up to be informed, but not to an embarrassing degree. The Birds, the Bees… actually acknowledges the fact that most tweens/teen (and even some adults) are embarrassed about sex, and brings about the fact that it shouldn’t be embarrassing. Everyone should be comfortable with asking questions, finding out the correct answers to those questions, and having an education that supports all sexual lifestyles.

But The Birds, the Bees… isn’t just about sex. It’s about a group of wonderfully talented high school music students that are not only finding their way in the sexual world (identifying if they are heterosexual or a part of the LGBT+ community, and how to properly protect themselves), but also musically - Lacey, Evita, Theo and Alice form a band; where they want to go to college and want to do for a living. They grow apart and together as friends, band mates and partners. And they learn to stand-up for themselves and the education in which they are receiving.

The Birds, the Bees, and You and Me is a very powerful book, teaching those who read it how to make judgement calls when it comes to their life. While those around you may not agree with your beliefs, you have to stand up for your rights, beliefs and health and do what is right for you. A great non-traditional romance read that everyone should read!

 Dani's Score out of 5: 📚📚📚📚📚

Sorry, no wine pairing for these teen reads.

Have a book you’d like to suggest or one you’d like me to review? Please feel free to leave your comments down below.