#there is no 'well you pass so you can't face transphobia' or 'non-passing trans people deserve transphobia'

[uncanny-tranny]

I always feel like a broken record for saying this, but there is literally no form of transphobia that is acceptable. All transphobia is harmful - all forms of bigotry toward a group for features they cannot change (in this case, being trans) is harmful. It doesn't matter what gender a trans person is, it doesn't matter if they are a Good Person, it doesn't matter if you like them or want to see them happy. None of that matters because transphobia is transphobia is transphobia.

[doberbutts]

I can't understand the idea that someone outside of an oppressed group cannot be victims of violence towards that oppressed group. That anon you deleted, the one who got mad and went "so cis people can experience transphobia!?!" Have you not read the news lately? What? What is happening to Imane Khalif right now? When you are past some arbitrary "acceptable range" of looks, behavior, etc., you become a target. As a cis woman who grew up in a conservative area, having "boyish interests" was enough for me to be subject to slurs and abuse. And it stuck around past that, because I have a small chest and broad shoulders, a long face. Whatever. Systems of oppression effect everyone under them because they all rely on "passing". You are required to reach a bar and to look and perform in certain ways and that bar is ever changing.

Well, that's why when someone was in my replies being upset that I asked how Khelif could be considered TME when transmisogyny was actively happening to her, one of the things I responded to said person was:

I don't understand how discussion the widespread effect of a systemic form of oppression and how it affects other things or is used as a weapon in other things, at all damages or erases the conversation that said systemic form of oppression is a problem. If anything, it's spreading further awareness.

I understand if the concern is that not enough people are caring about the trans women to whom transmisogyny happens on a regular basis, and are instead only ever caring about non trans fems and their relationship with being on the receiving end of transmisogyny. That is a problem, and it's one that does need to be talked about more often.

However I don't think any other form of oppression is specifically locked to only the people who identify as that oppressed demographic. Men experience misogyny. White people experience racism. Abled people experience ableism. "You throw like a girl" "you're not my daughter if you marry that black man" "what are you, deaf?" these are all things that are experienced by the "wrong" demographic, because in truth? The demographic doesn't matter.

These are systems we're talking about- the system of misogyny is what leads boys who fail to be masculine enough to be compared to girls as a way to state they are inferior, because the point is that with the system of misogyny, girls are inherently inferior to boys. Therefore, calling a boy a girl is calling him weaker, lesser, and not good enough.

The system of racism is what leads white parents to disown their children if their children date outside of their race. The point is that under the system of racism, interracial dating is seen as an aberration, and these racist parents then reject their own children for daring to love someone who is not white.

The system of ableism is what leads people to make comparisons to disability when bringing up someone's shortcomings. Disabled people are largely seen as failures in abled society, so by pointing to disability whenever faced with what is perceived as inadequacy, the system of ableism operates to continue to associate being disabled with worthlessness, and being abled with having worth.

Hell, it was not that long ago that "gay" and "retarded" were used as synonyms for "bad" and "stupid". Some people still use these words that way. It was a fucking Rick and Morty joke a few years ago, this isn't ancient history.

So when I'm told that I don't experience a system of oppression based solely on my labeled demographic and not on my actual lived experience, my immediate first thought is "that's not how systems of oppression work, literally everyone experiences these things in different ways, because that's what is meant when we call something systemic, it means the entire fucking system is built around this as a crux of logic"

Which is very weird to me then when someone tells me that by saying Khelif is/was experiencing transmisogyny, I'm erasing trans women. How? I genuinely don't understand how that's possible when I'm saying that the explicit hatred and fear of the trans woman boogeyman is what led us here in the first place. I am saying "this comes directly from people pushing transmisogynistic rulings for years and was always going to be the end result when they finally excluded all the actual trans women". I'm saying "it was bad logic when applied to trans women and it's bad logic even now, being applied to a [self-identified] perisex cisgender 'biological' woman and we should have put our foot down about it years ago when trans women and intersex women were actually competing".

Transmisogyny is a system of oppression. The system is functioning normally even when it fires at targets it's "not supposed to". That's what happens under systemic oppression. That's a feature, not a bug.

[cubeshapedlemon]

Hellooo, could you please write cooper Howard x trans!male reader? Ftm, so he/him, maybe like a bit of smut and I’d like to think that it would catch him off guard because reader passes pretty well, thanks! 🫶🏼

hey! i really apologize for how long this took my excuse is definitely something that i definitely am saying and definitely not some bs that really just means i was lazy. i hope you like it! im sorry its definitely not my best but enjoy if you can!

Way Back Home

A grody bar isn't usually where you expect to find worthwhile company, it is where you would expect to find one murderous gunslinger, turns out they can be one in the same.

☆ ☆ ☆

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Trans Masc Reader

3.4k words

cw/tags: trans male reader, cannon typical violence, improper binding techniques (mentioned), bottom growth, oral sex (tm receiving), piv, unprotected sex, pet names, implied childhood abuse, implied transphobia if you really squint (not by the ghoul), alcohol, smoking

☆ ☆ ☆

authors note: hey! again i apologize for everything stated under the ask but yeah! please lmk if i made any spelling or grammar mistakes or if i missed something in the tags. Also don't translate repost or copy this fanfic anywhere without my permission. thank you for requesting and thank you for reading!

The poor excuse for a bar you've found yourself in certainly has an interesting vibe. Tension between groups is so thick it chokes anyone that enters. Ghouls and other mutants aren't exactly popular around these parts, so when the bar owner decided to start letting them in to increase profits, the local population wasn't exactly thrilled.

Though you could care less, just passing through for a drink and whatever interactions come your way. There's no shame in that, just because the world is a blistering hellscape of barbarians, bullets, and blood doesn't mean a guy can't blow off some steam every once and a while. Though tonight, no one seemed particularly interesting.

That is of course until he roamed in. You had heard about him, the fearless gun-slinging ghoul. Wandering the wasteland and making more caps in a month than most people see in a lifetime. He certainly had a reputation. It was very clear that he knew.

Narrow hips swinging lazily as he walks in, eyes roving over the crowd of patrons, all of whom now had quieted down their conversations by at least one notch. His scarred lips pull back into a cocky smirk, tongue tip curling to lick his time and tobacco-stained teeth. Huffing out what looked to be a chuckle, he refocuses, walking towards the bar.

His gaze fixates on you, challenging you almost, it doesn't falter once, only breaking to give you a curt nod, turning to wave over the bartender to order. If you were honest, you would admit what the intensity of that eye contact did to you. The waves of desire shooting downwards. But there is no place for honesty in the wasteland.

Taking a sip of your drink, attempting to still your nerves through the burn of it, you hear an over exaggerated sigh next to you. “Now, I'd love to chit chat, but we both know why I'm here. Don't we?” Of course, it really was only a matter of time. “I believe we do,” you say non-committedly, turning to look at the bounty hunter.

“Well that certainly saves us some time now,” he declares, turning his head only slightly, eyes still straight ahead. “Your dear ol’ boss ain't too happy with you, put a pretty penny on your head in fact.” Straightening your posture, your hand discreetly slides to your holster, ready to go at a moment's notice. “So I've heard,” you acknowledge, tone flat and untrusting. The ghoul certainly was no angel. It would be foolish to not be prepared for the worst.

“See now, I don't have any interest in killin’ you,” he clarifies, “For now at least.” Finally turning to meet your gaze once again. Surprise befalls your face, which he notices, but does not comment on. “I need ya’ for somethin’ else.” Oh. “While I can think of plenty a’ reasons to keep a pretty boy like you in my company,” He comments, hazel eyes running up and down your body. “You're particularly useful to me in terms of your former boss.”

Clearing your throat, you decide to engage with him, anything you could do to not get on his bad side at this point would be to your advantage. Though it's not time to show our cards. He doesn't need to know everything. “And how is that? I was never anything but a grunt with a gun for that asshole,” You say, the lie sounding pretty convincing if you were to say so.

A small smirk falls on his face, like he knows. It's so small you almost missed it. “Asshole is right,” he says, pulling a pack of cigarettes and matches out of a pocket in his duster. “That piece of shit owes me ‘bout 600 caps.” he grits out, striking a match against his boot and lighting the cigarette that is now delicately clenched between his lips.

“Anyhow,” he begins, inhaling. “He wants you back alive, so you get the pleasure of bein’ a ‘bargaining’ chip and pack mule,” he laughs out, flicking the ash onto the bartop. Wow this guy is confident, “Yeah? What's in it for me?” Taking another puff from his cigarette he grins, “What's in it for you huh?” he barks out a short laugh, “Well Casanova, you get to stay alive.” I mean what could you really expect?

☆ ☆ ☆

By about the 6th day on the road he had gotten decently comfortable, allowing you to have your hands unbinded, and even chatting a little bit. Not that you exactly learned anything from those interactions, anything important that is. Pretty much the only things you managed to deduce was he was a fan of old movies, chems, and alcohol. The old movies thing might be a stretch though, while he did reference them he never gave a true opinion.

Now, the end of the 7th day, setting down for the night, you search through your pack, hoping that there was a crushed can of something or other at the bottom. It was unusual for you to be so low on food. Usually replenishing supplies every 4 days. But of course, you haven't gotten to do that. Ghoul's clearly don't need as much food and water as smoothskins. At least this one didn't. You had only seen him eat and drink a few times over the past week. Even then, it was small and he didn't seem to enjoy it very much. Anyway, he clearly was in no hurry to stock up on food.

Which ultimately is the reason your rummage had left you empty handed. Releasing a frustrated groan, you drop your pack on the ground again. The hollow thud of fabric accompanying your discontented huff. “What are you bitchin’ about now?” The ghoul asks, you could almost hear the eyeroll in his question. Looking up at him, you don't feel the need to dignify him with an answer. Leaning back on the rock behind you, you look at him half lidded. Clearly not understanding your intent to be frustrated and nonchalant, your stomach growls, spelling out his answer.

“I forget how often you smoothies have to eat,” he says, almost to himself. Rolling your eyes, you focus on what he is doing. Hand gripping his knife, he places it over the fire, a piece of what looks to be rad rat meat speared on it. Turning it over steadily, he roasts it. The once raw, gamey meat slowly becoming edible. Not that he particularly cares about that, usually he'll just eat it fresh and bloody. Must have just felt like something different.

His usually piercing gaze is at a soft focus, intent on the task of cooking, but almost peaceful. The swirls of gold in his eyes become more pronounced in the firelight. Now that you can focus on him, as far as ghouls go, he's pretty handsome. Well, actually as far as people go, he is. You never really fancied yourself a ghoul fucker, but he just had something about him.

After a few minutes, he pulls his knife away from the fire. Plopping the hunk of meat onto a handkerchief on the ground in front of him, he begins slicing it up. Chopping up the more undesirable bits off and setting them aside, as well as slicing the bulk into strips. Bunching the handkerchief portion in one hand, and the undesirables in the other, he walks over to you. Popping what seems to be a limb into his mouth, crunching as he bites down. “Here,” he says, dropping the handkerchief onto your lap, walking back to his original spot and sitting.

You must have made a sound of surprise, or at least you must have looked surprised. Either way the ghoul feels the need to make a reasoning for his decision. His mouth full, he speaks again. “What? Can't have you goin’ ‘round passin’ out on me.” Responding with a small hum, you pluck a slice from your lap, placing it in your mouth. While sustenance was sustenance, it didn't mean it was the best. The tough meat forcing you to rip it with your teeth to make it more manageable.

Out of your peripheral you notice him staring, gaze locked onto your face, and more specifically your mouth. Running his tongue across his teeth, his gaze roves down your body before removing itself entirely. Tipping his hat down to cover his eyes, he leans back, getting comfortable.

He sure is interesting.

☆ ☆ ☆

About halfway into the next day you finally get to the all-too familiar settlement. Rusted chain link fence and scrap-built home looking all the same. A spike of anxiety pulls at your throat in seeing it again. Memories flooding back of the cuts and bruises sustained in that house. For as long as you could remember.

The freshest of them, now only a memory. Scar tissue thick against your fingertips as you rub against them absentmindedly. A push on the back pulls you from your haze, “Come on now’ we ain't got all day,” The ghoul reminds, his tone is gruff, like he wants to get this over with already. Before your brain gets the message, your legs do. Walking to the door, two grunts standing guard. With a nod from the ghoul they open the door.

Walking a few paces inside, you quickly come face to face with him. A dangerous sneer pulls over his face as he sees you. Dark, beady eyes locking onto yours. “Hello, son,” he says, gritting out the last word like a mockery. “It’s about time you came home.” In your peripherals you see the ghoul subtlety raise a brow at that, but makes no other indication he noticed. Your ‘father’ slowly moves his gaze from you to the ghoul.

“So you don't just kill everything in your path,” he laughs out, “You actually followed my instructions to keep him alive, that's certainly a first for you.” His words attempt to pierce the thick skin of the ghoul, but they easily fall flat as the ghoul just gives him a grin. “While this back n’ forth we have is real cute n’ all I think it's ‘bout time you pay your dues.” Stepping closer to him, the ghoul places a heavy hand on the back of your neck, gripping the slightly grown-out hair at the nape. His grasp tightens to an almost painful level, the pressure releasing slightly when he pulls your head back, neck bearing towards him.

“See, I've grown a little attached to this one. I really was wonderin’ if I should bring him back at all.” As the last sentence ends his gaze is pulled to your exposed neck, before flicking back to your father with a deeper intensity than you have ever seen. “You haven't been very good at paying your bills,” he laughs out, releasing your neck with a push forward. Lazily waltzing forward he comes to what seems to be about a 5 foot gap between himself, and your father. “You give me, double, you get to keep on breathin’,” As the ghoul's words sink in, you see your fathers fists tighten, the guards in the room readying themselves for his signal.

Without a second thought, your father gives the signal. Before you can even blink, shots ring out in the room. It takes you a moment to even process what happened, but once you do, you don't know what to do. About ten feet ahead of you your father, or what used to be him, has slumped to the ground in a pathetic lump. Next to him, his top two men. When your ears stop ringing, you hear the ghoul. “Come on now, move your ass! I ain't got all day,” he says to one of the other guards in the room, gun pointed to his head. “Unless you wanna join spaghetti bolognese over there, I would suggest you get me what I'm owed.”

Clearly not wanting to risk it, the guard quickly collects a bag of caps, placing it in his hand. Snatching the bag, the ghoul walks back to you, grabbing you by the neck again to force you out the door with him. “Come on now pretty boy, I got better shit to do then wait around here all day.”

☆ ☆ ☆

It has now been a few months since you had started traveling with the ghoul. It had surprised you originally when he made you travel with him still, instead of just dropping you and going on his way. But at this point you could not imagine a different life. While you guys aren't exactly close, you certainly trusted each other to an extent. At this point you had been through many things together, and you had truly proved your usefulness to earn your keep.

But even through this, that one lingering feeling always stuck. The ache that had been there since the first time he had looked at you. He must have felt it to, with the way that he looked at you. It truly could only be described as erotic in some contexts. But of course, with the good came the bad. He made you angry like no other, his stubbornness could break even the most hard-headed opponent. Right now was a great example of that in fact.

A rad storm raging on outside the rickety walls of the shelter you had found yourself in, he still found it a great time to try and win the gold metal in bitching and complaining. “That storm ain't shit, we coulda’ out run it if you weren't so goddamn slow.” he said, his words having a familiar sharpness but, at this point, no real bite. “I wouldn't be so slow if we weren't walking for the past 3 days straight!” you half-yell back, he laughs at that, head tossed back slightly. “You smoothies are so goddamn weak, I could be the next town over if I finally got rid of your ass.” His tone is low and mocking.

“Weak huh? You wanna say that to my fucking face? You can't work without me.” you say back, frustration truly spilling over into your tone. “Oh would I ever,” the ghoul says, walking over to you. His gaze locks onto yours with an intensity that pins you to the wall. As he closes in on you, frame practically pinning you to the wall, he leans in even closer, his face inches from yours. Before either of you can tell who initiated, your lips attach. A groan falling from his scarred lips, he works his heavy grasp up your body, eventually ending on your jaw. Forcing you even closer somehow, his tongue works its way into your mouth, the metallic sting of blood and tobacco invading your senses, not that you could manage to care.

Using his other hand, he drags it down your front, undoing your belt, and slipping his hand down your pants. He pulls his lips from you in surprise at what he finds. His fingers drag across your folds collecting moisture. Moving upwards again, his fingers trail across your bottom growth before pulling out of your pants. You breath in shakily, knowing that's not what he was expecting, you wait very impatiently for him to say something.

With a small grin he looks at his fingers, your wetness dripping from them, and then back to you. “Well cowpoke, I certainly wasn't expecting that. But I'm sure you'll taste just as good drippin’ on my tongue as you woulda’ felt down my throat.” With that last word, he slips his fingers into his mouth, releasing an honest, and gratuitous moan at your taste. Removing his fingers, he swiftly drops to a knee, tugging your boots, pants, and boxers down. Placing one leg on his raised knee, he opens you up for him. His gaze running from your eyes all the way down to your center. After taking you in for a moment, he hungrily attaches himself to your core.

Flattening his tongue he collects your wetness, once again moaning at the flavor. After a few more licks, he suctions his lips around your bottom growth. With light suction he luxuriously wraps his tongue around it, his usual ferocity, somehow not present. While his gaze locks onto yours, you see his eyelids flutter slightly. In the time that you have known him, you had never known the ghoul to be a patient man, but in this moment, he wanted to take his time. And oh gods above, he was.

Rolling his tongue over your core again, he slips the pink muscle inside, pressing against that perfect spot inside of you, but he removes it quickly, much to your dismay. releasing a frustrated groan, you grab the back of his neck, his hat tipping off and falling to the ground in the process. He seems to get a kick out of that frustration, now retreating entirely from your core in favor of nipping at your thighs. Your frustration growing, you push his head back. Looking at him now he truly looks better than ever, his face seems to be something akin to flushed, the lower half of it covered in you. “Come on now, I don't have all day.”

He chuckles at your use of the phrase, echoing the many times he has said it over the past months. Giving one last teasing nip to your thigh, his fingers now running across your wetness, slipping two in at once. The sudden fullness catching you off guard, you steady yourself against him. Giving you only a moment, he quickly sets a brutal pace. The tips of his middle and ring fingers brushing against your g-spot with every thrust. The waves of pleasure begin hitting harder and harder, the sensation building in your lower half.

With this increase, your moans only grow, echoing throughout the shelter, the sounds of the rad storm now unimportant. Noticing this uptick, he reattaches his lips to your bottom growth, the soft kitten licks from earlier now replaced by firmer, more desperate pressure. With this addition the waves soon become sparks, the edge coming into sight. “Fuck- Im gonna-” you sob. He only nods in acknowledgement, continuing his ministrations. Finally allowing yourself, you fall off the edge. Pleasure bursting forth in a way it never has before. Your legs quaking and clenching as his motions stay consistent throughout, working you through it. He only stops once you push him away.

Pulling his fingers out, he laps at the residual wetness, giving you a moment to gather yourself. As he does so, his other hand presses against the front of his pants, which you now notice are significantly tighter than before. His hips buck forward into his own hand. Without warning he gets up, wrapping your legs around his torso he walks you to a countertop a few feet away, placing you on it. His lips connect themselves with yours again, his dominating presence becoming even more clear as he tears your shirt down the center, buttons ripped off, the sound of them hitting the floor only distant background noise.

His hands drag their way up your torso, taking a moment to appreciate everywhere they find themselves, the patch of hair leading to your core, the raised scarring on your waist. His fingers even taking a moment to run the gauze that binds your chest. Tearing his lips away from yours, they move down your neck leaving bite marks and deep bruises in their wake. With his other hand he releases himself from his pants.

He gives himself a few pumps, yet quite impatiently, he leads himself to your core, pressing inside. The wetness allows this to happen with little to no resistance. He fills you completely, setting a harsh pace. His hips slamming into yours as he steadies himself, wrapping an arm around your waist for leverage. Releasing a groan of his own, he tilts his head back, taking everything in. His eyes are half lidded, and focused on where your bodies connect. Still being sensitive from your last orgasm, you feel the pressure build sooner, clenching around his length he grips onto you even harder. “Fuck- I ain't gonna last long if you keep doin’ that.”

Smiling to yourself you do just that, one hand going to your center, pushing yourself closer and closer with each stroke. Purposely clenching more than normal, teasing him closer as well. “I'm serious doll, I won't,” he warns, though he doesn't change his pace. “I know, I won't last either,” you gasp out, reassuring him. With a few more thrusts, the waves come crashing down. He soon follows after you, releasing inside of you. He steadies himself on the counter top before removing himself from you, and tucking himself back into his pants, grabbing a clean rag and tossing it to you to clean yourself up with.

Lets hope this shelter has some RadAway somewhere…

[fictofaggot]

Hi! im assuming you're trying to learn as well, so here a trans man in your inbox re:transmisandry. it's Actually A Real Thing, people just hate the words we use and that's a big part of it. One of the biggest issue trans men face is our invisibility and non-trans people don't Get that, this also includes debating whether or not we Should use the words we use and if we even suffer from oppression at all. They don't want us to have words to define our struggles, just like when they didn't want ace or nonbinary people to not have theirs, because it's not real enough/we're privileged/etc.

People often forget that our "trans" comes before our "men" BUT that we suffer from transphobia SPECIFICALLY because we're men because if we weren't men we wouldn't be trans, duh! Also we aren't in the same space of power as cis men because no matter how well we pass, we're always one slip up alway from losing our "man" status so you REALLY can't say we're at the same level or privileged for Becoming Men. We aren't part of the oppressors and we don't benefit from the system as much as people think we do. The moment we decide to transition we Lose whatever "privileges" we had from our agab and we never quite gain full access to the perks of the other binary one.

Surprisingly enough, we also suffer from misogyny (although people ignore that we do) because society mostly thinks we're just Women Who Are Wrong, but we accept that we can't really use the term transmisogyny for ourselves. So we can't use that one. So what can we use to talk about our own specific struggles then? We need our words, even if people don't like them. There's too many people speaking for us. Listen to US (trans men) when we say we suffer, not to Other people with Opinions.

I don't mean any ill intent with this btw, just that you seen like a nice person who reblogged some misinformation. That's all.

just putting it out there that i am a trans man. so. i don't really need to be treated as what you say is "Other people with Opinions", cause this comes from like, my own experience

i don't claim to think that trans men don't experience specific types of transphobia at all. clearly they do, and it would be more than a little stupid to claim otherwise.

most of the issue i have is just... the word itself. again, transmisogyny as a term describes an intersection between two types of oppression, misogyny and transphobia. transmisandry, on the other hand, says that there's an intersection between transphobia and... misandry. which is widely agreed to be something that does not exist? as far as i'm aware?

and so if something does not exist, how can there be an intersection with it? i struggle to understand the reasoning.

the fact that i dislike the term as it is does not mean i think trans men are "privileged for Becoming Men". i don't think that at all. you do not suddenly become an oppressor once you transition into manhood... that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. trans men are still oppressed on the basis of being trans. trans men still face specific forms of oppression. just... maybe it's not best described as transphobia interacting with something that isn't real, once again.

i really think you should've just read the post you claim is misinformation.. it explains basically the same thoughts i have? like, even down to the example of the term misogynoir not having a white woman counterpart. it's the same concept in my mind.

but, all in all, i don't really care. love and light and peace on earth. i love trans people

[spoilthevines]

i might have gotten brain rot from @girlgerard but foundations of decay legit seems like a song about gender struggles to me - specifically about contemplating some sort of transitioning as an older amab person

i've been trying to figure out what this song is about since the release date, and the more obvious explanations about e.g. the band reunion mostly make sense except none of them explains the "he gets to die a saint // but she will always be a whore" lines. i've seen this being explained as some sort of social commentary on misogyny / slutshaming, but:

it's clearly an autobiographical song (with all the towers mentions etc), it gotta be something much more personal that that

we get into the solo / breakdown part right after this, so it's not a throwaway line - it's something that's triggering a strong emotional response (=the breakdown)

the female character appears out of nowhere - there is a generic "we" , there is a male protagonist, but that's it. like, who tf introduces a character like that? not someone who wrote an eisner-award winning comic book

so, what if there is no female character as a separate person? what if "she" also refers to the protagonist, specifically their feminine side / self?

imo this tiny detail makes the whole song just ✨make sense✨, so let's dig into it (cw: mentions of transphobia)

See the man who stands upon the hill

the very first thing we are being told about the protagonist is that they are a man

He dreams of all the battles won But fate had left its scars upon his face With all the damage they had done

they've done important things in his life but sacrifices were made for it, and it wasn't easy (a stretch - they've struggled to keep up the appearances)

And so tired with age, he turns the page

the protagonist isn't young anymore and is moving towards the next stage in their life, whatever that is:

Let the flesh submit itself to gravity

oh, that's the next stage? it could be just a fancy way to say "you are tired, get some rest" or "give up" but consider this - i know a fair amount of trans and non-binary people (myself included) who talk about their bodies in a somewhat derogatory manner, like it's a flesh prison of sorts, so could this be about giving up on the said uncomfortable flesh prison? masculine flesh prison as we've been told right in the very first line

Let our bodies lay while our hearts will stay Let our blood invade if I die in pain

literally saying that yeah, whatever, bodies don't matter that much, it's whatever you feel inside that counts - which means that the previous line is indeed about the body as opposed to the whole self, the masculine body

Now, if your convictions were a passing phase May your ashes feed the river in the morning rays And as the vermin crawls, we lay in the foundations of decay

some contemplation about whether or not you still believe in things you believed in when you were younger, or if it was just a phase (tm) that you grew out of - if i had a dollar for every time i've heard this said about a kid who thinks they might not be cis...

He was there the day the towers fell And so he wandered down the road And we would all build towers of our own Only to watch the rooms corrode

some autobiographical stuff that tbh i'm not sure how to get into properly (the jump from he to we is interesting though) so let's just skip

But it's much too late, you're in the race So we'll press and press 'til you can't take it anymore

ohhh yeah. you are already a person with an established public persona, you can't just go around changing things about yourself that late in the game, right? well, yeah, maybe you can't, but not doing it will get more and more unbearable with every passing day until you just ✨snap✨

Let our bodies lay while our hearts will stay Let our blood invade if I die in pain

nothing new here, just drilling down the dissociation or, dare i say, dysphoria

And if, by his own hand, his spirit flies Take his body as a relic to be canonized

so what happens if the protagonist decides to free their spirit from the masculine body? one option is public outcry, all the transphobic "oh but he was such a good-looking guy, it's a shame". a lot of people will miss the public persona, or even literally the protagonist's appearance they were obsessed with, thus "canonized"

And so he gets to die a saint But she will always be a whore

it often feels like for transgender celebrities who come out publicly there is this before and after persona split in the public conscience, as if their assigned at birth gender presenting self was perfect and has just been killed by a disgusting transgender person. it's arguably worse for trans women, because then there is also the misogyny and slut shaming and just plain old judgement in places where it weren't before

protagonist think it will happen to them too once let go of their public masculine persona

an alternative interpretation - protagonist has a fair amount of internalised misogyny and transmisogyny, and actually judges themselves for their femininity harshly sometimes, and maybe even would rather just stay that perfect man person they could, but...

Against faith (antihero) Against all odds (as if it must be pure) Against change (we wander through the ruins) We are free (the guiltiness is yours)

seems like they can't do it anymore, even if it seems like it's doable practically ("against all odds"). they got tired of things as they are, and they want to do what they feel is right for them at this moment, even if they aren't 100% sure ("as if it must be pure"), even if it ruins someone else's idea of them ("antihero")

You must fix your heart And you must build an altar where it rests

trust yourself, trust how you feel about yourself, literally build a new body for yourself ("an altar") that you can love, a body that you deserve to have and that feels right

When the storm decays and the sky, it rains Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away

let the old body, that masculine persona go ("let it wash away")

And as we stumble through your last crusade Will you welcome your extinction in the morning rays? And as the swarming calls, we lay in the foundations

this might be something about the last public appearances before the change? sort of sounds like the change is inevitable already ("as the swarming calls we [will] lay")

Yes, it comforts me much more Yes, it comforts me much more To lay in the foundations of decay

yeah, it is much easier to get out of the public eye, change a few smaller things here and there in private but nothing major, and just live the rest of your life in this state, but...

Get up, coward

the protagonist feels like they need to do much more than just that

this lines up quite well i think and generally makes sense, except i now might be going to hell for borderline speculating on someone else's gender identity - so please let it be known that i'm not trying to predict anything like gerard making a public announcement about their gender after this tour or some other bullshit like that, i'm just having fun with the lyrics

[antiterf]

(Prefacing this to say that I'm not trying to convince you to move from neutral to pro transandrophobia- i think you being neutral is ur right and I can definitely understand why you are neutral. Just wanted to state my own perspective as a trans man, esp. As a trans man of color. Feel free to delete if necessary!)

I'm personally pro transandrophobia as a term because just as Trans Women have unique experiences due to their intersection of being Women and being Trans, and Black Trans Women experience a particularly unique blend of issues due to being Women who are Trans and black, Trans men also face a unique set of issues. Of course these issues can vary depending on where Trans men live, what their race is, how well they pass (as BS as passing is as a concept)and other factors, but so too might a Trans Woman's experience of transmisogyny/transmisogynoir vary based on similar criteria. Until recently, I've felt that there has been a major lack in information/discussion of transmasc specific issues, especially as a black Trans man. I've always felt like the specific intersection of transness and agab of transmasculinity causes unique issues combining misogyny and transphobia that isn't the same as transmisogyny. On top of that, Trans men of color like myself have the added issue of racism, adding to the bigotry stew we face. imho there just hasn't been adequate language to describe these issues until the introduction of transmisandry followed by the (more apt imo) term transandrophobia. I feel like this term adds to the toolkit we need to break down the systemic and societal issues we face. Ofc this is just my personal perspective, but I feel like the transphobia, misogyny, racism, and homophobia I face varies greatly from the same issues others face due to my identity, and I feel like discussing transandrophobia helps Bring light to how differently Trans men may be affected by these issues.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense, and apologies if my thoughts are all over the place, but hopefully this adds a perspective that others can see and take into account in the conversation surrounding transandrophobia...

I felt the same with lack of discussion around the issues trans men face. And I've thought about how I can make many shallow excuses, but overall I think I simply don't know enough about what's going on to speak on it.

I'm only 21, and what you get from everyday interaction with other trans people in activist spaces when learning about 20+ years ago in written history is limited if not non existent. Much of it focuses on a broad view that would be put through the individual lens of the historian or the person recording it, and there aren't many of those people. Basically, I can't relate to what I've learned of queer history back to this because the most queer history we have with trans men is "look, a trans man, or a possible one" and nothing about theories or activism from other trans people. This also applies heavily to trans women. So what we end up with is a cisnormative lens of what gender and how one gender is oppressive against the other, without much solidly believed theory from actual trans people.

This is part of what transandrophobia does. Its taking the issues of being men and having masculinity, but not as what we expect in a cisgender world, and the struggles that come with it. This can possibly applied to men in other minorities, like Black men or in my case disabled men, but much of that I've seen is surface level ("oh, look how masculinity hurts these groups in different ways" rather than "so how about we theorize how we see structural gendered oppression through this"), and that would be my responsibility to find out more for comparison about how this can work out.

I think transandrophobia has potential to finally take "but what about men?" And actually make it productive in the examination of gender rather than anti feminist nonsense. But what it seems to do as of currently is focus on the inner LGBTQ+ community more than anything, especially trans women for some fucking reason (transmisogyny, blaming them for hypervisibility), rather than the cisnormative societies that mainly hurt us.

Like, the other day in the gay trans men being called fujoshis post, someone added these tags. I never mentioned trans women once. I've always focused more on the experiences of trans men because I am one, but the fact that I talk about it now and shade is thrown at trans women is incredibly worrying.

And what I said there is probably inaccurate because right now it's so new and there hasn't been a common ground established. Everyone that is loud about it, either for or against, are automatically biased and will show extreme negatives with each group. I don't know how the community is doing as a whole, what's going on as a whole, and do it reliably. That coupled with a lack of history doesn't sit well.

And I kind of wrote that rant because its really not because I don't see the use of transandrophobia, and I think it can be important especially with trans moc or honestly any of us who have intersecting minority statuses. I genuinely hope it can carry on to be critically looked at and discussed. But right now it's just chaos and please don't compare it to transmisogyny because thats on the basis of intersectionality, and transandrophobia would not fit under that same concept.

If something clicks from the research I do either in school or my free time I'll definitely talk about it.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Hi, sorry idk where else to send this but…. I resent transmasculine people and idk what to do about it. I dont want to be TERF and I was hoping that you could help me “deconstruct” the things that make me resent them. I am aware that most of the mods of this blog are transmasculine and im sorry, I don’t want to offend either of you.

Anyway, I resent them because i feel “betrayed” by them, like they’re leaving women to deal with misogyny alone (and no, it doesn’t help if they’re also “feminists” because they still ran away from the problems women have to face, like catcalling and being more likely to get r*ped). I don’t like that most of them get away with adquiring male privilege just because they’re trans. I know being trans is not easy and not a choice by anyone of any gender identity but it still feels unfair that they get all the benefits cis men get while women still have to deal with being women all their lives.

They also make me feel bad about being a woman (well, i’m nonbinary…. A nonbinary woman, or demigirl. These are all labels i use for myself, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter since I don’t plan on transitioning or changing my pronouns. I’m basically just a weird cis woman). Like, reading posts about them having to deal with dysphoria makes me feel offended. I know it’s not about *me* but I can’t help it. This is my biggest issue actually, rather than being bitter about the potential privileges they might have for being men (or wanting to pass as men, in the case of many transmasculine people). I feel i can get over the other things easier because the disadvantages of being trans are more than the possible perks of it (for cis people ofc. For trans people it’s not the case obviously). Like, posts about dysphoria or happiness because they don’t longer look like women makes me *extremely sad* and also bitter because they have the liberty to be something else that what they were born as.

I hope all of this makes sense and i hope i didnt offend anyone. I don’t know where else to write this that i wont be insulted :(

You know... what you say is offensive but I am glad you are daring to write it somewhere because this is something that you absolutely have to deal with if you don't want to be an asshole!

You have definitely internalised a loooot of transphobic bullshit and though that's maybe not all your fault, it is certainly your responsibility to work through that and change your mindset. You are doing transmasc people a huge disservice AND yourself, too, because to me it sounds a lot like you are speaking from a place of jealousy and insecurity about your own gender.

Other trans people living their lives and talking about their experiences, their gender dysphoria and euphoria, their transition process and whatever does not take anything away from you. If transmasc stories offend you then ask yourself "what is it in those stories that makes me feel so personally attacked? why does this feel like it is about me?" - maybe that's a good way to star, to be honest. You say you "know it's not about me but I can't help it". Well, maybe some of it is about you and you need to work out what it is and find out what that means for you and your gender.

The fact you say you're "just a weird cis woman" when you also say you are non-binary is a huge indicator to me that you struggle immensely with your own gender identity and the whole coming-out process about that. So advice number 1 would be to get help for that. Talk to other non-binary people, try to get gender counselling if that's available where you are, work through these issues of internalised transphobia that you are very clearly also directing at yourself.

And then you have some big ass unlearning to do about the transphobia you have sucked up. A lot of things you are saying are 100% coming from TERF and radfem circles. Point number 1 is that being a man (cis or trans, doesn't matter) is not a bad thing. Men are not inherently bad people, whether they have been assigned male at birth and always identify as a man or they realised later that they are men. This is an immovable fact that you have to accept. Men are not bad (and by extension: women aren't inherently good and innocent.) If you believe that men are somehow worse people than women by nature then you have bought fully into radfem ideology and gender essentialism and you need to keep shutting that voice down.

And the whole idea that trans men somehow magically have male privilege only works under a very simplistic idea of how privilege works. Do you really think that a trans man is holding the same power in a patriarchal society as cis men? When trans men are also often victims of "corrective rape", in many places don't have access to HRT or gender-affirmative surgery or can only legally change their name and gender if they get sterilised. Do you genuinely think this is what privilege looks like? Educate yourself about the struggles that transmasculine people go through. And not just all the negative shit. Also learn about how they understand gender and masculinity. Read their stories and learn what manhood means to them. Learn about ways to be masculine outside of toxic masculinity and see that being a man has just as much potential to be good and beautiful as being a woman.

Trans men don't "betray" anyone by "leaving womanhood". I, as a cis woman, don't feel betrayed by people living their true self and being, living, expressing the gender that they truly are. Trans men are men. And like any person of any gender they have the ability to be feminists or allies, they can be great people or they can be assholes. Every human has the ability to be a misogynist and every human can try their best not to be. This isn't different for any gender. It's a myth (again, created and perpetuated by radfems) that trans men are just ~confused weak lesbians who take the easy way out by becoming men~. If you find yourself believing that narrative then again: you have fallen for radfem talking points.

You need to seriously reflect on where you got all of these ideas about transmasculinity from in the first place. You have got to have picked it up somewhere. I'd take a wild guess and say a lot of that was online (Twitter? Tumblr? tiktok?). Maybe it's time for a radical clear-out of the accounts you follow. Algorithms tend to keep showing you similar things to the content you've already consumed and it's dangerously easy to get radicalised that way. So if you really want to break out of this bigotry - for transmasc people's sake and your own - then think long and good about where the sources are for those beliefs and cut them out! Educate yourself, reflect, reflect, reflect, work on your own gender issues and learn to love yourself and not blame transmascs for your own insecurity.

Maddie

P.S.: I am the only cis person on this blog and of course if any of the other mods want to say something then I'd be happy to hear your thoughts. I also understand if you do not want to chime in though.

[sapphic-sex-ed]

This question has probably been asked many times but how do lesbians find other people? I tried tinder and it's so useless, in general girls disappear even if you have chemistry or just don't answer. I don't know if it's cultural, I live in Italy and I noticed usually foreigners are the ones that engages the most. It's not just a me thing, I've asked other queer friends and they said that it was the same for them. I tried both in my unitown and my hometown, my hometown is in the south and it's even worse, I passed from having matches but no conversations to almost zero matches. I genuinely think I'll never find someone, especially now that I think I'm going to quit uni and come back home. People seem to appear only for the pride parade and when it finishes I guess they just disappear under water. I read other apps' reviews and their even worse than tinder...

Finding somebody can be difficult for anyone, and this problem is more prevalent among queer people as our dating pools are generally smaller (due to both actual number of available people, as well as prejudice againse for example bisexual people both within the community, and transphobia) and also tend to be "invissible" - you can't really tell by the way somebody looks that they're queer. Like sure, there are some signs of being queer, like fashion and the words you use, but you never know if somebody is just a gnc/alternative cishet or if somebody is trans, regardless of what some transphobs may claim.

I've found partners both online and through "old-fshioned" ways. Ofc online dating isn't suitable for everybody. For example, I who am demiromantic have never found a romantic partner online, but I have found sexual ones. For a trans person, it may be safter to online-date so they can be upfront about their transness and not risk a potentally dangerous confrontation later on.

There isn't really one way to find a partner, but the frustration when you want one sure is annoying! My advice would be to try and get an irl-meeting with somebody you've met online as soon as you feel comfortable with. Online connections are harder to maintain than those made with people you've met face-to-face. I'd also suggest that if you belong to any social groups you're out in, be open about looking for a partner. And put effort into your non-romantic or non-sexual friendships. Relationships are important, including those with our friends.

Nurturing friendships don't only make us happier, more well-rounded people, it makes us into better partners when we do find some other type of relationship, be that romantic or QPR, and gives us a security network is a significant relationship turns sour. Oh and being liked makes us look more attractive in the eyes of potential partners!

-mod liz

[stimcourse-archive2]

But that's the problem, it really isn't inherent straight privilege because society doesn't view me as straight much in the same way it doesn't view gay trans men as gay. The intersection of my being trans and my sexuality doesn't lend itself to having inherent straight privilege. I can't access any legal benefits, I can't access any social benefits, etc. I'm not trying to come off badly or condescending so I'm sorry if it comes off that way, I'm not great at non face to face conversations.

no, i understand what you mean. this is a discussion and i’m trying to make sure my tone is appropriate (autism problem #587). 

so in regards to you, i 100% understand that you cannot access your straight privilege because you’re non-passing. i’m non-passing as well. people won’t stop harassing you because you tell them you’re straight. but i do believe you should still acknowledge that you’re straight because although cis privilege overrides straight trans ppl’s straight privilege 99% of the time, you still hold power over them. it’s tiny, but it’s there, and it will become more prominent as you begin to pass. 

due to transphobia, you will likely never fully access straight privilege completely. and as i said to another anon (which i should’ve included in my original answer) cis privilege is more powerful than the straight privilege a straight trans person can hold. 

however, in online spaces especially, it’s important to acknowledge that you do have straight privilege. just in the sense that you cant really give input on sga issues and needs.