#there isn't and need not be discourse inspired by this post

[naranjapetrificada]

Because I don't want it to get lost in the tags of that post I just reblogged:

It's incredibly cool that fans of the same works come together to share the fruits of our creativity with each other, completely for free and solely motivated by our passion for a certain source material! By and large people will like and appreciate the things we make for each other! It's neat and allows us to enjoy our favorite characters, stories, and worlds for so much longer than we otherwise could! Fandom can be such a gift!

Also some people will not like some or all of what we do, and that can be sad. Those people, however, do have a right to feel that way and they also have the right to express that if they want, although there are of course polite and impolite* ways to do that. There tactful ways and private ways and ways that don't require being cruel. Because sometimes you just don't vibe with something, or sometimes something is racist, or you don't understand something about it, and maybe you want to run it by someone else or work through your thoughts about it.

And one of the places people should be allowed to do that is on their own blogs. Especially if they're not going out of their way to identify the work/author in question. If AO3 users are responsible for managing their own experience using filters and the back button, then tumblr users can exercise the same responsibility with the block, unfollow, and filtered tags systems.

Doing something "for free" or "out of the goodness of your heart" does not exempt it from critique, especially if the person with those critiques isn't directly or commenting, messaging, or tagging you about it (although some creators are perfectly fine with being critiqued and may even thank you for it). Nor are people obligated to keep their critiques in DMs to their friends only, not when they have a blog that can be unfollowed/blocked. Maybe it will bum you out if you happen to see that criticism in passing, but "don't like don't read" is a policy creators can exercise themselves too.

*politeness as a concept is a Whole Other Question I don't have room for here

[remidyal]

FHJY New Names over-analysis post

We're a few days past an episode that introduced a lot of new npcs and ideas and all, and I figured I'd dig into some of the names and references and all that I noticed to see if any hints might have been snuck in there for the rest of the season.

Interim Emergency Backup Principal Arcturus Grix: A couple of different things in here, but I'll just get what I think is the most likely one out of the way: Arcturus is a star that is part of the constellation Bootes (a herdsman in various myths), and the name translates to 'guardian of the bear'.

Or, perhaps, guardian of the owlbears.

Brennan absolutely seems like someone who would have at some point been way into constellations and their stories so I'd put money on this being an intentional stealth-ish pun.

I think Grix is just supposed to sound machine-y but I might be missing it.

Terpsichore Skullcleaver: Back on the Greek mythology theme, Terpsichore is one of the Greek Muses, and specifically is the Muse of Dance. Obviously a wildly appropriate name for a dance teacher who is hopefully going to actually inspire Fabian.

Skullcleaver presumably means she is of some relation to Katja, of course.

Lucillia Lullaby: I mean, this one is pretty obvious; a Lullaby is a type of song, and from what she saw she seems to be a pretty calming presence to suit attempting to get a toddler to sleep as that song type does. This name was actually, unlike the two above, on the payroll list from freshman year so it's a lot more directly on the nose (because, frankly, Brennan was coming up with like 30 npcs who would probably never appear).

Tiberia Runestaff: Runestaff similarly is just kind of obvious and also was on the freshman year list; Tiberia as a name literally just means born near the river Tiber, and so I think was chosen mostly because it sounds kind of severe and wizard-y.

Yolanda Badgood: Also from the freshman year list, and I suppose it would take someone both bad and good to teach students of both 'good' and 'evil' divinities. Brennan's gotten better at his NPC names over the years, or just it's hard to do a freaking list. I sympathize, as someone who keeps a random name generator tab open while GMing. Also, on a random note, the freshman year list has a driver's ed teacher (one Alphonse Doublefist) and I NEED a scene of Fig having to take driver's ed because she's been driving without a license for two years.

Mazey Phaedra: Mazey is such a groanworthy name for a minotaur-adjacent person that I'm surprised they didn't throw things at him for it; Phaedra is another Greek myth name, this one of the daughter of Minos (of building-the-maze fame) and also a whole other thing we don't have time to get into because it might start Discourse and that probably isn't relevant because it's really just another Minotaur reference.

CUS Dabus: One of the universities Riz looks at, I mostly want to call it out because of being a reference to my personal favorite official DnD setting. It's mentioned as being in the City of Doors, which is the nickname of course of the extra-planar city of Sigil. The Dabus are a race that are the entourage of the mysterious Lady of Pain, the very-definitely-not-a-god who loosely rules over that city. I doubt we ever really visit Sigil, but who knows, we've been to the Nine Hells and the cosmological stuff seems to largely conform to traditional DnD.

[cyaerandom]

FAQ

Do not interact with this account if you're a minor.

I highly recommend not following me at @cyaerandom, because it's a personal account. If you like what I draw, please consider my art blog instead. I will reblog any scribbles I post here.

ART BLOG @cerberusmahou I'm mainly into ATLA 🪃👣 + 🌾🌊‎ , but I draw whatever and this can change any day. Take this into consideration before following. Mute #riya reblog for art only and check the other stuff I'm into to curate your space. Alternatively, you can install XKit and turn on the feature Show Originals. Art only tag Scribbles tag (cw: suggestive content) Ask me anything, or give me ideas to draw! Unless specified otherwise, I don't take art requests. However, I'm always on the lookout for inspiration, happy to read about your headcanons and talk about our mutual interests. As a general rule expect me to reply by text, but if any prompt gets my brain gears turning, I may draw it.

🌈M/F ATLA. A discord group for LGBT+ adults who enjoy or create straight ships content and want to meet people similar to them!

All joining members must be 20+ years old. Mlm/wlw is obviously allowed and welcomed, but not our focal theme.

Can I use your art as icon and/or for rp? Sure, I'll be honored.

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How did you add music to your blog? Wikplayer & CommonNinja.

Which program do you use to draw? Paint Tool SAI.

Which brush do you use for drawing? It's a custom, here's the settings. However, I recommend sketching on a hard brush and using this only for inking or doing a more refined sketch.

Any anatomy book you recommend? Figure drawing by Kan Muftic and Morpho collection by Michel Lauricella.

Could you share your art style inspiration? Here.

Any tips for dynamism? Besides checking on art tutorials (dynamism and gesture drawing), I'd say studying the principles of 2D animation, paying attention to real people's body language, and watching animation compilations from great artists like Richard Williams, Milt Halt, Hiroyuki Imaishi, Yutaka Nakamura, etc. I tend to tag animation gifs I go across and like, feel free to use it as reference library, if it's helpful for you.

Are you open to collabs? If I follow you or you're a writer whose fics I comment, I will most likely be interested. Message me and we can talk, no compromise for either of us.

Why am I blocked? Nothing personal. You probably talk about discourse non-stop, don't follow proper fandom etiquette or were caught up in a blockchain I used. I want to see specific content, so I curate my spaces. Please, message me if you'd like to be unblocked.

We are mutuals and I appreciate you, but your blog isn't for me anymore. Unfollow me, I'd never take it personally. You have to cater your social media to your own tastes and whatever makes you happy. We can interact in other spaces anytime.

I'd like to follow you, but my moral and political beliefs don't align with yours. Is that a problem? As long as you're an adult, feel free. I don't intend to live in an echo chamber and I aim to learn about other realities.

I mainly draw m/f, but I talk and draw about gender and sexuality in a very fluid way. Sometimes seriously, sometimes as a joke. If you need characters and ships to be gender-conforming to a fault, my account is not for you.

+18 only

Do you take commissions? Yes, here's my carrd. Adults only. Do you have Patreon? Yes, here's the link. Once again, adults only.

Check my former pinned post and appreciate this beautiful fanart of my wife and her husband.

[sokkastyles]

How do you feel about the live action so far? Personally, I like some of the changes they made but I miss Katara’s whole character and I don’t think Ozai’s characterization works very well.

I'm enjoying it as an adaptation. There are also things that disappoint me about it as an adaptation, but I still think I am enjoying it as an adaptation more than i would have if I had just watched it as if were an original story, with no knowledge of the original series. It lacks a lot of the things that made the original series stand out. It kind of pains me to say it, because they tried, they really did. They tried with the bending, and a lot of it is impressive and clearly inspired by the original. But it still is not as impressive as the original. Part of that is because of the fact that it's not new, part of it is the change in medium. Part of it is just that the magic isn't there.

I keep thinking about, for example, Aang's fight scenes. Don't get me wrong, the LA does a great job. They clearly thought everything out. Gordon is great. The martial arts moves are nicely choreographed and clearly inspired by the original. The effects are nice. But Aang still doesn't feel like an airbender the way he did in the original. A large part of this is that they are working with real people and a more realistic medium. The actors just can't be as naturally dynamic as animated characters. Every airbending move Aang does has to be done with special effects and deliberate shots and there's just so much work that needs to go into it that a lot of the casual airbending Aang does in the original is gone. And this isn't so much a criticism because I recognize that this has to come with the change of medium. But, as I said, it does diminish some of the magic of the original. The same reason we don't get, for example, Zuko blowing smoke through his nostrils. The side effect is that he doesn't feel as connected to his element.

I'm a big fan of animation as an art form, and the things I mentioned about the original ATLA? That is animation as an art form at its essence. We get a sense of who a character is just by their stance, or how they move, and the artist uses their medium to convey it without words. The actors do a lot to try and make up for it, but you're still inevitably going to lose something in the translation.

See my previous post for my thoughts about Ozai based on the first four episodes I've seen. Katara is another sore point for me. She feels like such a non-character here, there's nothing really memorable about her. She's not offensive, but she's not anything special, either, and it is a shame since she's such an iconic character for the series as a whole. I'm not here for discourse about how she needs to be more feminine or more angry or more etc. etc. etc. But what they've given us is just so bland that if I didn't already know the character I probably would think nothing of her at all.

As an original story, the live action series seems to lack direction. As I said, if I hadn't watched the original show I would probably have gotten bored by now because of having no real sense of who a lot of these characters are or where they are going or what the stakes of this story are.

I'm mostly enjoying the show as an adaptation that can bring me some new perspectives on these characters, the way I would a fanfic that has its hit or miss moments. Then I can take those things and add them to my own fanfics and metas and thoughts about these characters and this world.

[ineffectualdemon]

This post is inspired by one I saw about the "why are the curtains blue" discourse of literary analysis

Please bear with me because I cannot find it again and I did not read more than a few words before I accidentally clicked away and lost it to the void of my dash

So I really don't know if I'm just remaking their point since I'm not sure what their point is

But it did get me thinking

The two sides of the discourse seen to be:

1. The curtains are blue just because the author said they are blue. There is no need meaning (ie: things in a background of a story are just there there is no hidden depth)

And

2. The curtain are blue because the author intended represent the sadness and depression character A feels during this moment in a story (ie: everything in a fictional story has weight and meaning behind it and it's important to understand the authors intent)

And that's the problem with the "why are the curtains blue" discourse. It's way too focused on author's intention

When I was in school if the teacher was asking about the curtains for example it always "what did the author intend the curtains to represent?" Or "what did the author mean by adding this"

And I always struggled with that because

1: I don't have the author in front of me to ask and how am I supposed to know what was going through their head at the time

2: I know for a fact that when I write creatively sometimes my intention with a scene is that there curtains are just blue but other people read something deep into it

So it feels like the question is unnecessary bullshit

And that's because it's the wrong question to ask

If you asked me something like "How did the colour of the curtains contribute to the atmosphere of the scene" than I'm more likely to be able to give you an answer!

Because that's really what literature analysis is doing. It's less authors intention (though that is still a part of it) but also how do all the pieces of the story help shape it regardless of author intent.

And going back to my own writing when someone says something like "I really like how x detail shows that character A is really feeling my in this scene despite his brave front" and I don't even remember that detail nor intended for that to be the case?

I don't think "the curtains are just blue stupid" I think "wow. I'm a secret genius because that does totally do that!"

Like authors can write in those kind of details and not realise until a reader points it out. They can also convey a message that they didn't intend. Like Ray Bradbury has argued that Fahrenheit 451 was not about censorship at all but a lot of readers felt it was

And to a certain extent neither is wrong. Bradbury may not have intended that message but it's still what readers heard.

The question isn't "what is the true secret reason why the curtains were blue?"

The question "how did the curtains being blue influence your feelings while reading the scene?"

[osaemu]

mini-announcement, i probably won't be posting/interacting over the weekend because i have a big tournament and i'll be spending time with my team !! just a heads up in case you're wondering why i haven't replied to you or your ask yet :,) sorry about that 🤍

cw: discourse under the cut.

i didn't want to have to make this post, but lately i've been receiving a lot of anonymous asks about a certain blog and unfortunately, it's gotten to a point where i feel like i have to address it. don't take this post as being hateful in any way—this is just something i just wanted to get off my chest. this isn't a big deal, so no reblogs either, thanks.

the bottom four asks all came within a span of five minutes, so i think it's a reasonable assumption to make that they were all sent by the same person. as for who that is, i'll get into that at the end of the post.

but first of all, i can say without a doubt that i have a personality of my own. case closed. nobody's actually said how we're similar in any way, so i'll assume these are all from no-lifes who couldn't find anything better to hate on.

second of all, my netflix banner was actually inspired by another blog, who i won't namedrop for the sake of their peace. and either way, our banners don't even look similar, nor do either of us own netflix. x x

and finally, those are actually the two most braindead asks i've ever received. are we copyrighting letters now? does anyone own the letter e?

don't compare blogs/writers—it's never ended well, and it never will.

even after getting these asks, i still didn't say anything about it because.. i don't really care. everyone's entitled to their own opinion, and what you think of me is up to you.

moving on, i think tee left tumblr sometime in between that time and now, and i was told by a mutual that i was mentioned within the post. if i'm being completely honest, i didn't read all of it because we have each other blocked anyways and it was a lot to read through.. so i skimmed over the bit about me, but didn't really see anything of interest, which is why i didn't address it.

i also had anons on at the time, and i did think it was interesting how i didn't receive a single ask about tee from then up until today, about a month later. up until a couple hours ago, i hadn't even thought about her because, again, i don't care. this is tumblr dot com, not my love life. most of the drama here is over pixels anyways, so i don't waste my day thinking about it.

neither of these are particularly interesting, but the fact that you weirdos are still associating me with someone who i'm not even mutuals with is.. not to my liking.

idk what false accounts the second anon's talking about, because i don't go looking for drama. if you need proof, here's how many sideblogs i have... (click the image)

zero!

as for the idea that i'm jealous of tee, i'm perfectly fine with the amount of followers i have now. i've always been open about my satisfaction with my interaction rates, and that hasn't changed.

and obviously, tee's a good writer—when have i ever said otherwise? if it was based solely off of writing, i would say that she deserves every single one of her followers, maybe even more. i don't think anybody on this app would disagree with me when i say that she's genuinely one of the best fanfic writers i've come across.

however, i won't support someone just because i like their content. i've stopped listening to many artists because i didn't like who they were as a person, and similarly, once i read the reblogs on a certain callout post, i stopped consuming tee's content as well.

there's a reason i avoided making this post in the past—because i don't really have anything to say. tee and i have never had a directly negative interaction, as i'm sure you all can see in her archival post. the reason i don't support her anymore is because i didn't particularly like how she never spoke up about her followers sending death threats to other followers. that's it.

while i have my guesses as to who sent those anons, i don't care enough to find out. and i think it's better that way. this conflict's been dragged on for long enough, and this is my way of saying that i'd like to be excluded from this narrative from now on.

tee, if someone sends you this post at some point, feel free to contact me if you'd like to clear anything up. we're both adults, and i think we can agree that nothing monumental has happened between us to cause any of this. honestly, the only people dragging this on are the weirdo anons in my inbox.

to whoever's reading this post, thank you for listening to my side of the story—it was nice to be able to get this off my chest. wish me luck at my tournament, and i'll be back after the weekend !! 🤍

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Gonna be honest a lot of the discourse about how queer characters are written in fandom boils down to:

Nonqueer people - utterly erasing said character's queerness and making them straight/allo/cis/etc

Queer people in general, rightfully: hey this is erasure

Queer people who don't fit "expectations" (monosexuals who have sex with the opposite gender for any reason without attraction/aren't split attraction, polyamorous mspec people, gender nonconforming and multigender trans people, partnering aspecs and aspecs who sometimes experience attraction): okay but we do sometimes write characters like this too and for us it can be rep, just don't assume, also we have so few characters that are our identity in the first place that yeah sometimes we'll take our fave that canonically isn't like us and make them like us

some white knighting usually nonqueer yahoo: actually you're a bigot for making a character non-canon-compliant in your fanfic, you're erasing yourself and everyone like you, if you did this about [other queer identity] everyone would rightfully attack you for being [identity]misic

the not fitting expectations queer people from above: "y'know what fuck you you can do whatever you want in fanfic"

the fitting expectations queer people: hey wait but we don't get any rep either we deserve some too

and then sometimes it devolves into discourse where people don't recognize that yeah, both of y'all deserve rep, it's okay to explore that in fanfic, and honestly it's okay for people who are not queer (or not yet aware they are) to explore it too and the reason it's a problem is because of wider trends that are driven by societal and structural enforcement of "normalcy" as decided on by those in power

but also sometimes there's a productive discussion about it and how like, some identities are considered equivalent and therefore acceptable to swap (lesbian woman <--> gay man, for example), and sometimes the reason it's NOT considered acceptable to swap the identities is actually itself because of bigotry (for example, lesbian -> bisexual or even canonically sapphic but neither confirmed lesbian nor bi -> bi are considered lesbophobic bc of biphobia, but bi -> lesbian isn't ever recognized as erasure at all)

This inspired not by a recent post I saw but by an example yahoo in the notes, because at the end of the day yes you can do whatever you want in fanfic forever and if you're representing your personal queer experience or exploring it that is good, and also there can still be issues from larger society erasing queerness that aren't even really about individual people but about larger systems of oppression and how they manifest at scale.

And while yes, it's absolutely frustrating to see other queer people treating something identical to your actual experience as erasure, and while yes, it's equally frustrating to see other queer people responding in ways that are invalidating to the very real pain and anger at erasure, it does help to remember not to fight over scraps, because we aren't each other's enemies.

I know I have a knee jerk reaction to seeing posts like that because of the ambiguity often present where a post could mean "ever doing this ever is harmful and badwrong" vs "this is a problem that exists in society as a whole because of queerphobia". I'm sure the knee jerk reaction in the other direction is just as strong.

and I really do think the nuance is that we're both right about aspects of it and just need to make more queer art and fanart and stuff together forever

[hayweerc]

🦔Pinned Message

Please read about me, my content, and my AU before continuing:

*Name: Haywee, it's my only name.

*Age: 29, I post my age everywhere.

*Pronouns: They/Them preferred

*I am a self taught artist/writer.

*I love Sonic the Hedgehog Media too much.

*I'm a multishipper with Sonadow and Espilver being my priority. I like Gay ships.

*My Fanfics of the AU are posted on Ao3 👉here

I have content on multiple platform. If you have seen me there, Hello, nice to meet you again.

I like to make AUs with the main cast being older, above the age of 18 because that is how I view and depict them. I like my characters to be closer to my own age. They are mature and fit into my mature stories/settings. 

My AUs are “Bound by Chaos” and “(Y)Sonic” But I will be mostly, if not exclusively, be posting about “Bound by Chaos” here. 

MY AUs contain mentions of blood/mild gore and injury, typical cartoon violence, hemocraft, mentions of self harm, adult/suggestive themes, multishipping, shenanigans, cringe, and sonic characters.

I do write fanfiction for my Sonic AUs that are made for more mature audiences. 18+ with warnings on each chapter when needed. I write the scenes about anything “in the bedroom” to be more vague and with time skips.

The content of my drawings are depicted as 18+ as a cautious warning, because I'm an adult and my content may lean more that way. I do place warnings on my drawings if it contains anything like shipping, blood, violence, or suggestive themes.

Most of my drawings are SFW besides the occasional kissing and touching. 

Most of everything I draw is canon to the stories I write of the AU in some way. Sometimes I just like to draw them modeling or being shipped together on top of the AU story stuff.

*****

🐺🩸🍃Bound By Chaos:

Set is a fantasy world that is heavily inspired by attributes of DnD. (And other RPG fantasy realms)

🐺Name: Sonic the Werehog/ Race: Werewolf/ Age: 26/ Class: Rouge-Thief/ Powers: Werehog strength and durability, Melee Attacks with knife and claws.

🩸Name: Shadow the Hedgehog/ Race: Mobian/ Age: 27/ Class: Bloodhunter-Profane Soul/ Powers: Hemocraft Abilities -enhancements and poisons, Ranged and Melee Attacks Vary

🍃Name: Silver the Hedgehog/ Race: Mobian/ Age: 24/ Class: Druid-Circle of the Moon/ Powers: Plant Growth and Healing Abilities, Ranged Attacks

Shadow (a blood hunter) had an encounter with a rampaging werewolf with the intent to slay it. The blood hunter and the werewolf, who turns out to be Sonic (a rogue), were on the verge of death until they were healed by Silver (a druid) with a shard from the master emerald. Accidentally, Silver may have also placed a curse on the pair. They cannot be separated and are bound to each other’s presence. Shadow isn't too happy with the situation, and learns to cope as he journeys with the two- encountering other characters and monsters as they search for a way to break their curse. Not long though, Shadow starts to see the weight of the trauma held on Sonic's shoulders as he struggles to contain his werehog form.

Fanfic on Ao3 👉📖 Bound By Chaos

*******

Fanart rules:

Must credit and tag me -NO suggestive or NSFW fanart-Please be aware of the au characters and my content-Make it because it inspires you or helps develop your skills

‼️Do not come to me to cause discourse. I will ignore you. If you don't like my content or me please scroll past and ignore. I understand my stuff isn't made for everyone and that's ok.

‼️ Do not copy/steal my art. Be respectful of all artists that request this! 

‼️I do not take requests on my AU, and I'm not comfortable answering all questions about the AU. I will do my best to reply to give more details of the AU without spoiling the story that is written for it.

‼️please provide your age before speaking with me in my inboxs or dms. I'm not comfortable talking to younger audiences.

🩶Sorry my posts are desaturated and gray, it's easier on my eyes

💙Spread Love and Kindness Everywhere You Go

(I may update this info as needed. I'm still new to Tumblr)

[welcometogrouchland]

i'm suffering under the curse rn BUT. i am 3 episodes in to The Magnus Protocol and so far my thoughts are that it seems pretty good! on the one hand i should probably do my best to separate tmagp from tma but at the same time, i mean, the only reason i'm listening to tmagp is bc of prior attachment to tma, so it's interesting to me to contrast and compare them (though in all fairness it's been a while since i listened to tma).

the new cases are definitely cool so far in terms of allowing for more formats, i wonder if we're gonna get any future explanation for their eloquent presentation like we did in tma since idk if there's any hints so far at what the whole worldbuilding deal is with that so far in tmagp.

i will say that- do to the different formatting and immediate bigger cast who gets more focus and whatnot- tmagp feels more 'TV' in a certain way. which isn't a pejorative statement and i actually really dislike it when ppl assume something being 'TV' means it's low quality or shallow, lol. tmagp is a good example of something feeling 'TV' but it's a notable difference and is casting my mind back to the discourse/discussion about a tma tv adaptation and what that would look like back when archive 81 got one. i imagine it'd feel a lot more tmagp inspired.

cast is cool so far! i admire alice's actress for being able to pull of the extremely tumblrific dialogue (which i know is on purpose but was also VERY off-putting to me at first- it's the kind of thing that i love when written but spoken aloud in a fictional setting sometimes raises my hairs for some reason). i already love gwen, she's defs gonna be the toxic woman i get attached to and then regret it (assuming i listen to more episodes which i hope i do? i'm not great at it but i do like finishing things, my brain is just pulled into all directions rn if that wasn't already apparent). Colin you're great, i can't wait to watch you break down. Sam you're great too in a way that your personality rn makes me very excited for your potential future corruption arc (obligatory reminder i'm only 3 eps in and just making educated guesses based on what jonny and co did for tma, though i do acknowledge that there's a lot more fingers in the proverbial protocol pie rn)

in general i'm curious about the direction of the show, namely how they're gonna make it tragic in a way that's different to tma? bc i always maintain that the beauty of tma is the slowburn, and how everything happens so slowly that by the time you realise what path we're on, it's too late to stop any of it, and the more you learn about these people and this world, the more you realise it was always going to end like this, even if it didn't have to.

it's a tough feat to pull off and the inherently different structure of tmagp makes me wonder if they're gonna have to pivot what kind of tragedy this is. it's probably apparent right now to anyone who's properly caught up but as for me? i'm curious and cautiously interested. idk if i'm ever really gonna get involved with the fandom like i did with tma (bc that was a mostly great but also wild and formative experience for me and in general i'm bad at being multifandom no matter how much i wish i could be bc it would make my life sooo much easier. but unfortunately the shape of my autism (title of my new movie and/or hit single /j) does not allow for it with any ease. only struggle)

anyway i have an essay on political cinema to write so i really need to close this window lmao. will perhaps consider some kind of liveblog or sequel post to this as my listening progresses

[purplebass]

Thought about Lila's trauma and drinking as her copying mechanism to deal with her emotions (in relation to her relationship with Kell but also with Alucard) so I wrote a post because I had so much to say :)

Special mention to @bluecichlid because your comment under my Lila meets her father again fanfic inspired part of this post so thank you lol

tw: alcohol mention, tw: trauma mention, tw: anxiety mention

We know from bits here and there that Lila's father was an alcoholic and she often ran away from home and he didn't even notice. This forced Lila grow up fast and her needs were never met. Lila using her father's copying mechanism to avoid dealing with things (mostly emotionally related) is not surprising. No one taught her what in psychology is defined as "emotional literacy", which is the skill to understand/deal with emotions related to oneself and the outside world. She learned that by herself by trial and error and observation, but of course this human skill is also sharpened by interactions a person has with their caregiver(s) and with their peers, which help us regulate our emotions and act according to what society expects us to do. From the look of it, Lila doesn't seem to have had any meaningful relationships after she left her father for good. Barron was a fatherly figure to her but she never truly let him in. Then she met Kell, and her life began to change because he was the first person with whom she was able to make a deeper connection. Then came Alucard, with whom she equally shares a deep connection which is different from the one she has with Kell, and many many more. I only mention them because they are important for the discourse I'm making in this post.

Lila likes to drink as a way not to process her emotions and numb them, because she is avoidant and dismissive just like her caregiver used to be. Drinking is her response to trauma. It's Lila's favorite copying mechanism along with fighting (both physical and magical) to blow off steam. It's the quickest way to kick her emotions to the curb because they are too much and she isn't sure she can control them. She doesn't want to be crushed by them, which scares her (hence avoidant but she also wants to feel). But canon hints that Lila prefers to drink alone rather than with someone. She doesn't feel safe drinking with others because she doesn't want to lose control, so she tries not to exaggerate.

Lila's drinking in relation to Kell: trying not to think about him hurting in tftop + Kell rewiring Lila's past trauma into a good one

Her drinking is often emphasized after she goes or someone is going through something. For example in tftop, she goes with the crew to drink after the fight on the vessel where Kell gets hurt by his magic and she knows he needs to be alone. She tries to divert her feelings (being worried about Kell and wanting to comfort him but being unable to do so) by celebrating the mission the crew accomplished, but she ends up thinking about him anyway while she drinks by herself.

I mentioned this moment specifically because this is one of the moments in the series where Lila has a positive outcome linked to her drinking, and it rewires her past traumatic experience. When she returns to the ship after drinking, Kell is waiting for her. He pretends to be sleeping because he doesn't want to appear anxious when she's out at night, since she prides of her independence and knows how to take care of herself. But Lila knows that he is waiting and she has an ambivalent reaction to it. She is glad but she also thinks he doesn't need to do that because she doesn't need to be looked after. So Kell tries to meet her in between by pretending to sleep, knowing that he needs to trust her or his anxiety will eat him. Kell fears abandonment as much as Lila does, and by doing what her father never did, he gives her the safety she needs and whom she doesn't dare to ask for from him. She equally gives him the safety he needs when she returns safely into his arms at night.

The same happens in acol while they are on the Ghost. Lila drinks while she plays and loses her boots to Jasta, and Kell gives her his so she can have her boots back. They have a moment before the ship is attacked and Kell asks how much did she drink. Liquid courage makes her honest and she confesses she rarely drinks in company because she doesn't want to be caught unawares.

Drinking and having fun is a way to deal with everything happening (risking to die because of Osaron, Lila finally accepting her feelings for Kell/his feelings for her, dealing with her new identity as an antari). But she instantly sobers up once she realizes that they are all in danger and we see how quickly the adrenaline makes her react to the new situation.

Kell tries to help Lila relax after a bad drinking experience

Another moment I want to point out in relation to Lila, Kell and drinking is when Hastra gives Lila the tonic to make her sleep. Kell gets mad at Hastra for spiking her drink because he knows how much she would hate that because it was done against her consent. When they are in Verose in tftop, in fact, Lila doesn't seem to want to drink at first, but Kell encourages her by saying: "not everything is a trap," and she decides to trust him and tries to relax. It tugs at her heartstrings that he sees her and is learning and trying to silently support her when she doesn't even know she needs support. This is love.

Lila's drinking in relation to Alucard: he wants to get information out of her + he's also a sort of confidante to her

There are other moments where she drinks while she is with Alucard in agos and he's trying to find things about her while teaching her magic. However, when she drinks with him and the crew she is guarded, and she never drinks enough to lose control and never does things she would regret. Her drinking is calculated.

Lila also drinks with Alucard in tftop. Alucard jokes and says "I'm far more fun than Kell," when he asks Lila why she's there to drink. She agrees, but her mask slips because it's easier to show Alucard (who I consider Lila's bff) how she really feels. Lila doesn't openly say that she's worried about Kell but Alucard understands because he is good at observing people just like Lila. She also lets him in her plans to catch the Hand. Alucard was the only one who knew about Kosika, about the Hand meeting and more - things Lila didn't tell Kell. That's not casual. Lila confides in Alucard because he is a friend and because it's easier to talk to him than to confide in Kell, with whom she's romantically involved and was in a difficult moment at that point of the story. She precisely avoids to talk to him about this because she loves him too much and she doesn't want to burden him. She knows he would worry too much if she did, and she doesn't want to add that burden to the emotional baggage he's been carrying for years. It's Lila's way to protect Kell from potential harm.

I wanted to say more things but I said enough lmao. Thank you if you read so far and if you have thoughts, feel free to interact <3

[panelshowsource]

this is such a great episode!

for anyone who hasn't listened yet — it deals with some heavy things including food addiction and eating disorders, death, and more, so anyone who wants to check it out should be aware it's about richard's own history and his self-identified "failures", and it's not particularly light-hearted or funny even though it's endearing and inspiring in many ways

i really appreciate his honesty and how carefully he speaks. he has every right to be angry — with his father leaving, with his relationship to food and shame, with the ever-present confines of modern masculinity making life so lonely for men — but he never seems to be. he just cares about being the best, healthiest version of himself. and i appreciate that he doesn't talk at people, preach, act like he knows more or best; he just knows what he knows all while seeking to always be learning more. i really appreciate him!

i've never heard of a podcast by tailors, how interesting! i listened to the episode with alex and it was really sweet! i'll post this in case anyone else wants to check it out :)

(of course 💜)

same, i'd only really heard of it because i got a bunch of messages about it! (i was a little unplugged from scripted tv when the first series came out 😅)

TOTALLY AGREE about jon pointing! his comedic timing, his facial expressions, he is just too hilarious — even though...can i just say...why was that old ass man playing a uni student X_X

anyways — i knew him from plebs!! that's quite a famous itv2 series, so you should check it out and see if you like it! i love tom basden ugh and if you check my non-panel shows masterpost i have live at the moth club and he does standup in ep1!

i am somewhat familiar with it as someone who likes to watch some of the nextup specials (alistair barrie was one i enjoyed recently!) and tries to keep abreast of the festival nominees & winners, but i don't have as much time as i'd like to really weed out my favourites only because there isn't enough time in the day and i'm already trying to watch 100 things a day 🥲

one thing i find funny is how i pay more attention to who would do well on tv opposed to who is just GOOD. like, i didn't get john kearns until stopped thinking about him in the context of dictionary corner and started acknowledging his written set as a very, very specific piece of work that really shouldn't be disassembled and consumed in morsels. but i do see my interest in — and potentially my preference for — panel shows reflected in some of the circuit guys i like, such as alasdair beckett-king, huge davies, larry david. i just know they would kill panel show world if they were pushed properly :')

i find that i like standup a lot more live than i do on screen — which i think a lot of comedians would understand!

as well, i find the discourse about how difficult it is to get started/off the ground now that edinburgh fringe is becoming less and less accessible extremely fascinating and try to listen to all of the podcasts/convos about that that i can. it's costing comedians upwards of 5k just to debut a modest set at edinburgh — which is madness. here is tom mayhew talking to bbc news about this just a couple of weeks ago...

anyways, is there someone you wanted to recommend? i would love to check out anything 😚

—

daniel sloss standup — added a couple of those to drive! god i looooooved him when i was in high school and still do! highly recommend him on roast battle uk if you need extra sloss content. i'll work on the others over the next couple of weeks

alma's not normal — added to drive!

here we go — i know exactly where this is so i can hook you up but imma need you to dm/ask me off anon for the deets!

hold the front page + the unofficial science of home alone — sorry anons i don't have these on me but they're very easy requests someone can hook you up with on r/tv_bunny, so post them there!

—

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS / NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[fierceawakening]

I think the disconnect on your most recent discourse post is not that people are responding with soundbites because they don't realise you agree that abortion should be legal - it's that for the people replying to you the reason they find certain situations where women might want one sympathy-inspiring are the same reasons as the reasons they think it should be legal, so if you ask for the first you will also get the second even if for you that reason is only good enough to make you agree about the legality and not also to emotionally inspire sympathy.

That makes sense.

Yeah, it seems like a lot of people consider my emotional response ("I feel bad for that underdeveloped human. Circumstances are such that it must die, and we'll never get to meet the person it could have been. I don't blame the carrier, but I do feel sad and somber now") highly unusual.

It's always been my emotional response, and is why I was anti-abortion as a youth despite my general environment being very politically progressive.

I've since rethought how and when we need to be less than morally rigid about killing, and pretty much as soon as I did that abortion became very clearly morally excusable some of the time. From there I pretty quickly got to "Hey, this is ABSOLUTELY not an issue on which to trust the government to know better than the people. As uncomfortable as I still feel, I'm going to defend Roe, as I can't escape the conclusion it's the right thing to do. Sometimes the right thing to do isn't comfortable."

But I still think there are all KINDS of shitty situations people can end up in through no fault of their own where they're still morally blameworthy if they hurt or kill someone, so I'm baffled that people deem me uncompassionate.

Most people I know who have harmed others (I can't think of anyone who has killed a born human and I know about it) have done so because they had reasons, understandable if not justifiable, for doing so.

I can see why they would and feel awful that they were stuck in that way while still wishing they'd found some alternative and chosen differently.

[thecrimeofmans-laughter]

Aight, my turn to give you numbers for this Daydream ask game thing

2, 7, 17, 18, 19, 26, 28 (I hope this isn't too much)

i haven't gotten many asks so this many numbers is perfect!! :D extremely long post ahead be warned

PARACOSMS MENTIONED IN EACH QUESTION:

2, 7 — the super happy life of akemi ōtani (samurai warriors fictparacosm)

17 — most/all of them

18 — queerer things still

19 — yttd paracosm 2 (yttd fictparacosm)

26 — most/all of them

28 — loust (lost fictparacosm)

2. if your paracosm had a popular fandom, what do you think it'd be like?

since it's a blanket paracosm it encompasses every daydream i have about the koei warriors games ever, but here are some highlights (mostly lowlights) of this hypothetical fandom:

only focusing on the few romantic ships despite it being primarily a platonic/familial relationship-focused paracosm

chikurin-in being assigned as lesbian because she's mean even though she's canonly pan and ace (which would also ensue some Discourse)

people will find akemi annoying and ditzy unfortunately :(

kanbei's disabilities (his blindness in one eye + his bad leg) after being freed from imprisonment will be ignored entirely

modern au tattoo shop/flower shop with kanbei and hanbei (this is a positive. i think this would be cute. sw5 definitely, sw3 and 4 maybe but it's hard for me to imagine that kanbei having tattoos when he looks inches away from death. a needle on his body would simply make him pass away)

7. imagine your paras have at least a basic knowledge of driving (or even just like, cars). can they parallel park?

assume this is a modern au 👍 i'm only gonna do the four main paras that this paracosm takes its name from, because otherwise i'd have... a lot of characters to do...

AKEMI: confidently believes she can parallel park, results vary but skew towards being dogshit. she will absolutely hit the car in front of or behind her at least once, and will even use it as a way to adjust. she has gotten several notes left on her windshield because of this. she continues to try despite the haters. go girl!!

CHIKURIN-IN: parallel parking was the first thing she wanted to master specifically because she knew akemi would never ever be able to do it and then she would have to. is very good at it, but is also a bit aggressive about pushing her car into the tiniest spaces possible just to prove she can. she also insists on complete silence while parking and if you even breathe too loud she has to halt the process to yell at you for breaking her concentration.

YOSHITSUGU: he puts on so little airs about it and is so chill that people assume that he can parallel park. he can't. he avoids it at all costs and will park blocks away from where he needs to be just to avoid doing it. he is at peace with this, and it drives everyone who knows him well crazy.

TAKATORA: can parallel park just fine, but angrily curses like a fiend while doing it such that you would think he's trying to adjust over a minefield. being in the car with him is like doing math homework while your dad yells, "WHAT'S 6 TIMES 7?!?!?!" at you as you sob onto your worksheet. the back of the passenger seat has permanent indentations from how tightly he grips into it when he turns to stare out the back. oddly enough, he is not prone to road rage?

17. make one of those "[blank] spoilers without context" memes for your paracosms. then explain it (or don't :))

i made this a while ago (which inspired this question) so here you go (plus a gif i was gonna add into the original image, but it downgraded the quality by a ton)

18. who is your second favorite para, and why aren't they your favorite?

hm this is hard! i think maybe rory is my second favorite only because he has the least opportunity for angst? however he's very comforting so he's high up on the list. enya is probably my fave because they are rife with drama and angst (and bonus: the two of them interact a lot because he's a very chill and nice friend to them)

19. what would your paras' typing styles be like? do they use lots of emojis? sign off each text like a letter? type with lots of weird spaces and ellipses?

again using the four main paras for this and not the whole cast

MONA: definitely uses texting emoticons as a little garnish. something like: "hi mom ^_^ what's for dinner? :0 love you <3"

RANMARU: uses emojis sparingly because he doesn't really get what they mean. the end of his text will always be something like "what does 💀 mean mona am i gonna die. why did you send me 😭 are you okay"

EMIRI: she loves emojis and they punctuate nearly every text. lots of these -> 🥰☺️💛👏🥺😂

SHUNSUKE: He texts all properly like this, and it's very weird. Corporate businessman core. Occasional red heart emoji. ❤️

26. FREEBIE! drop some long-winded lore or some memes or whatever you want ^▽^

i edited this tweet for mona a while ago because it fits her so well LMAO

28. for fictparacosms, do your daydreams affect how you perceive the media and/or the fandom?

absolutely lmao. i have paracosms for tv shows (namely 1) the arrowverse combined agents of shield and 2) lost) and i have a paraself in both of those, so whenever i watch them internally i'm like "where am i and why does no one care about me in canon >:("

and poor sawyer got hit with the OC-ification beam the hardest (new boyfriend and adopted child) so whenever in canon he's like "i'm doing what i need to do to survive... i can't connect with anyone emotionally... ghhhhh" i'm like don't worry baby go cry jags about it into your bf's shoulder and stop your kid from biting people <3

[callmetippytumbles]

WIPs: Choices Edition

So the last time I did this I didn't actually read the rules and then I got really confused when I didn't get a bunch of asks. That's on me. Should have read and followed the rules. @lizzybeth1986 sent me an ask about my Choices WIPs and I was torn between actually following the rules this time or talking about fic in detail which is kinda what the ask was about. In an effort to a) actually respond this century and b) keep it (relatively) short, I split the difference. I talked more about the WIPs I found interesting. I listed the ones I didn't. Actually I listed the ones I found deeper in my Drive because I do not keep my WIPs in a separate folder from my other documents and it's just chaos in there but we don't need to talk about that.

Rules that you totally should follow if you want to play: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagging: I have been out of the Choices fandom for a while so I am tagging anyone who wants to play.

Random Fics - The Royal Romance

Bustin’ Out - Paring: Drake/MC (platonic), Liam/MC (romantic)

This was a fic where Halle was pregnant (like 7 months along) but was put on short-term bed rest due to an early labor scare. She has been medically cleared to get out of bed rest, but Liam would prefer that she stays on bed rest. Halle goes stir-crazy so she escapes and drags Drake along with her. I wish I actually finished this one if only for the funny. This is the funniest I have ever written Liam. The blocker here was the ending or the lack thereof. I think if I could wrap up the ending and decide on the Drake/Kiara subplot I could still publish this…regardless of what actually happened in the rest of the Royal Romance series.

Do that Baby’s Hair - Pairing: Liam/MC

This was a fic to actually piggyback a fic I actually did release called Wash Day. In this fic, it sees Liam and Halle in the future with their children and essentially Liam isn't exactly fully keeping up with promises he made in the first fic and Halle seeks to change that. I think I got the first half done but was not done writing the second half.

Not My Children - Pairing: Liam/MC

This is a future fic where Liam and Halle are confronted with the significant level of scrutiny their children will face in the media. Kind of inspired by the discourse that happened with Blue Ivy when people saw her hair looking less than pristine and how harsh and swift the judgement came. Got through the first half then stopped.

Phone Grab - Pairing: Liam/MC

This is a random fic where I guess I was working under the idea of what would happen if Maxwell took Liam's phone and started answering his texts (security breaches aside obviously). Of course Drake gets involved and eventually Hana and even Kiara does as well. Hilarity ensues. I am actually open to brainstorming this one for ideas to see where this one goes.

Hana Persy Drabble - Hana/OC

What it says on the tin. This was supposed to be a drabble featuring Hana and one of my favorite OCs, @lizzybeth1986's Persy. It was meant to be a gift for her at some point but I got blocked on how I wanted to end.

Fic Series

In the Dark: A Bloodbound x TRR Crossover AU

These fics are related to a series I did with Misha where she writes chapters for her TRR MC and I write the chapters for my BloodBound MC. The series starts kind of at the beginning of TRR but about halfway through BloodBound Book 1 (specifically when the BloodBound Gang rescue Adrian from The Baron's prison). Of course things get more complicated when the Cordonian vampires get involved with all of the mess and in-fighting happening between the NYC vampires. It pulls a lot contextually from The Crown and The Flame as well.

Choosing Darkness - Pairing: Olivia/Liam (unrequited)

This fic was a companion fic to a crossover AU fic I did with Misha. It’s the backstory of how Olivia got Turned into a vampire after Liam’s forced Turning. It also was interspersed with background on how Cordonia during the time of Queen Kendra and ‘em dealt with the rampant new vampire problem and why Turnings in Cordonia look they way they do now. The fic was almost a completed draft. I just had to nail down some timelines and flesh out the descriptions.

In the Dark, pt 6: Aminah

This chapter picks up where we left with Aminah after she and Adrian get conditional refuge from the Cordonian Vampires. Adrian needs to pick up the serum back from his company which has been seized after what happened at the Vampire ball thingy...its been a while since I have read BloodBound. Since Adrian cannot get it himself, Drake and Aminah are tasked with retrieving it. Aminah and Drake have verbal exchanges. They get ambushed while at Adrian's office. Jax saves them. I just hadn't worked out the details of the ambushing part. I am pretty sure it would have been fin though.

Liam x Halle Pregnancy/Baby series [The Royal Romance]

This was supposed to be a series of one-shots chronicling Liam and Halle's journey to become parents. It has some twists and turns but ends happily...as Liam and Halle deserve. The first two fics, A Wish and A Life-Changing Moment have already been released. It was the rest of the series that have been in progress. I think what made me want to explore Halle and Liam becoming parents (besides wanting to see them have a baby) is writing them in scenarios where they are not in total alignment whether its them essentially wanting the same thing but feeling very differently what their obstacles and challenges are (like in A Wish) or being in completely different headspaces but despite everything they work through those issues and come back together stronger for it.

Liam x Halle Pregnancy/Baby series

This was the outline for the whole series.

A Devastating Loss

This would have been the next part. As you can guess by the title, this would cover Halle and Liam dealing with a miscarriage.

Call for Help 1 & Call for Help 2

These two fics are not immediately after A Devastating Loss, there is a fic between them (that I am honestly surprised doesn't have a draft that I can find). These fics show Liam and Halle working through the aftermath of the miscarriage in therapy. Part 1 was Halle's session and Part 2 was Liam's session.

Driara Series

This was another series of one shots that was supposed to examine the complicated relationship between Kiara and Drake. I actually started this with Bold. While some of the fics do take place in Drake's point of view, it's all about Kiara. I meant for this series to feature Kiara in a way where she was the primary focus, she was cast in a role where she was a central figure of desire, she wasn't a villain (at least to anyone else but herself), and she was given the space to be messy and complicated. Those were the goals of the series. I wanted to do this series in particular because at the time both in canon and the fandom Kiara gets a lot of disrespect (and this was before her part of keeping Liam and MC away from their baby which takes place in later books--I know after that became a plot point, Kiara would never know piece in and out of canon--let alone the fandom--again). So this was a fix it series where it was all about her. What does she want? Where does she fit in? Who does she choose love? It was about getting to see her navigate those questions as her perspective changes from operating in should to operating in want. Now that I am reading the drafts I am getting all kinds of ideas again...but I haven't finished the rest of the TRR series...Very torn.

Driara Fic Outlines

The outline for the series.

Avoidance

This was supposed to be the next fic after Bold which takes place from Drake's perspective. He is in a rough headspace because as much as he wants to be there for Liam after Liam's father dies he can't stop thinking about Kiara and their kiss in Bold. He wants to dig deeper into that but Kiara keeps avoiding him and eventually drops out of the Unity Tour. He also gets in his own way when given the opportunity...Drake is a mess. This is actually mostly written, it's just the details that have to be fleshed out a bit more.

New Options

There are 2 fics in between this and Avoidance. This takes place during the Lantern Festival and it's told from Kiara's perspective. At this point she has been getting a lot more attention from Rashad. Drake has been trying to get closer too, but in less obvious ways. Drake and Kiara do share a moment when lighting their lanterns together but Rashad interrupts them. I have barely started this fic TBH.

Confused

This fic is also in Kiara's POV and take's place during Halle's Bachelorette Party. Kiara has been connecting with Rashad more but is unsure of what she should do in the face of Drake actively pursuing her in a way that he hasn't before. In the midst of all of this Kiara and Drake are tasked by Madeleine to essentially keep Liam and Halle from getting too wild since Halle barred Madeleine from participating in her bachelorette. This involves drunk shenanigans from both Liam and Halle.

Wedding AU

This was a series that kind of started off as a fill I did for an ask where Liam and Halle meet as guests at Leo's vow renewal and it kind of grew from there.

Wedding AU Outline

This is the outline for the series

Wedding AU: Foolishness

The refined version of the initial fic I wrote for the ask.

Wedding AU: Extending the Fairytale

The morning after the first fic where they spend the day together instead of parting ways. Apparently this also has an ask too...

Wedding AU: A Small Decision

The events of Foolishness from Liam's perspective and him deciding to continue to pursue Halle after returning to Cordonia.

Wedding AU: Splurge

Liam gifts Halle an expensive phone and she doesn't know how she feels about it.

Wedding AU: The First Lie

During Liam's first visit to NY since the vow renewal, when Halle asks him more about his background he lies so that he doesn't have to tell her that he is actually a prince.

Wedding AU: Kept

The outline says this was intended to be about how Halle feels about dating someone with the kind of wealth Liam has and how some aspects of that make her uncomfortable. The actual document is blank.

Other Choices fics

Magic [Perfect Match]

Perfect Match fic series

Testing Lily x MC [BloodBound]

I Do...For Real [The Royal Romance]

Your Real Duty [The Royal Romance]

Safe [The Royal Romance]

Sudden [The Royal Romance]

The Boat [The Royal Romance]

I've Got You [The Royal Romance]

[getitfrenchship]

Hello, friends! Hope you're all doing well. In fact, I'd like to know what you're all up to so I can reconnect with friends again. What things are you watching/playing/doing now? Any new things in life you'd like to discuss?

Below the cut I'll say what I've been up to!

Just got back from my local con today and while I did spend a lot on game collecting + VA stuff, I'm glad I went. Thankfully I got paid Friday (though that means I'll have to wait to get paid again in 2 weeks) and my financial situation isn't dire. It's kinda like when you go to Disneyland and get caught up in the spectacle of things. Oh yeah, an IRL friend from high school helped me with a lot of the VA stuff since she had a VIP pass & could skip long lines. (On that note FUCK F//UNKO SCALPERS FOR HOGGING LINES AND MAKING ME WAIT 2 HOURS FOR ONE VA AAAAAAAAAA)

Thankfully, no insurance adjuster lady to drive me up the wall this past month at work. A few eh client encounters but overall it's been way more pleasant than it was a few months ago. ...Might still need to figure out vacation time just so I can take a longer break (and maybe find a government job if I'm able to find something so I have guaranteed holidays).

That being said, S//aimon's series is starting to see a spike of discourse and one of the servers I'm in keeps talking about it. It's making me feel bad as a result. Thankfully, none of the people in it are starting the discourse, but they tend to go "getaloadofthisguy" a lot. Along with usual self ship discourse that I see on my dash (that again thankfully neither friends nor I directly participate in), it kinda just drains me.

Seasonal anime I'm watching are Detergent (hopefully one of Shitsui's big scenes will happen next week; they took a break this week), Und//ead Mur//der Far//ce, Hel//ck (though I'm admittedly not really paying attention to this one), Happy Marriage, J J K season 2 (i am not ready for this arc AAAAAAAAA), and Z//om 100. When there isn't a seasonal anime for me to watch at work, there's Sai//ki K (I think watching Bla//ck Lag//oon kinda helped make me more bitter at work, but I'm feeling better now that I'm watching Sai//ki). Oh, I might check out OPLA since I hear it's an actual good adaptation. Aaaand F//ionna and C//ake too! God, I went "kindred spriits" with Simon's episode

Currently I'm playing Se//a of St//ars and I really like how it looks & plays so far! (Of course, I loved Chr//ono Trig//ger, so the gameplay feels right at home). I wooould continue Gh//ost Tri//ck, but I'm at a stealth section and like I expected, I'm looking up a lot of the puzzle solutions online instead of figuring it out for myself. Curse you, time limits!!! (And for Bom//b R//ush, I feel like I need to play with music, but I keep forgetting to bring my wired headphones. Bluetooth is for my phone mainly due to personal preference). I also watched the endings for OT2 and AUGH I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH!!!

Oh, a new manga I found called "Inv//isible Man & his soon to be bride" is cute so far.

someday i will find balam merch. somedaaaay

I might do a separate post showing my current ideas for S/I's/OCs, but hhhh I'm hesitant. Right now I just know for a P3 OC he takes inspiration from "The Stranger"

boy howdy i sure hope bluesky finally makes my account or i can get an invite because i really want tweetor to die. ...though i'd miss posting switch screenshots directly

[magicaldogtoto]

Started watching more of Granbelm and I'm starting to piece together what it is about a lot of Madoka-inspired/edgy Magical Girl shows that seem to be patterned slightly after Madoka that never really appeals to me.

This isn't going to be about Granbelm specifically, which I'm still watching; I have no real opinions on it so far other than "giant robots with magical girls is a good formula, more people should do that." Indeed, it's why I'm curious about the show in the first place (I love Magic Knight Rayearth).

(Content warning: There's some mention of suicide.)

It's not that I don't like darker shows now and then--you can already tell just by looking through my blog here--it's more that I just don't particularly care for battle royale/death game-type stories. I started thinking about this because I was talking to a friend about how I was considering finally reading The Hunger Games, which I put off for about a decade. I always felt kind of squeamish at the idea of kids getting into a fight to the death where only one person can survive and the others die horribly. This was back in 2012 or so; I've since then reconsidered things, and the political themes of the series do appeal to me (I have, however, watched the movies with friends; I even watched Battle Royale, which I don't particularly consider The Hunger Games a rip-off of, but it's the other death-game story people bring up when the latter is mentioned).

And people often do consider Madoka a battle royale-like story (going off to similarities between it and Kamen Rider Ryuki, which I have also watched), but I never really saw it as one, to be honest. It's true that Mami says that Magical Girls will fight each other for resources and territory, but then actually look at the plot of the original twelve-episode show, and... there's only two girls who fight each other. Moreover, the reasons for their fight aren't really tied to the need for Grief Seeds so much as them having very different ideas of how a Magical Girl should act. And that rivalry lasts about two episodes before it gets dropped as Kyubey's machinations become more apparent. Additionally, a lot of these battle royale-type shows always have people fighting with a fixed goal in mind (some prize/wish getting granted). In the context of Madoka, the wishes are granted before the girls fight, so it always felt like an inverse of that to me.

A lot of these shows that feel post-Madoka in their own way also operate on the concept of "more is better," in my opinion. As if in order to draw attention to themselves, they have to up the ante of what they thought people liked about the show. You know, "People liked when Sayaka and Kyouko fought for two episodes in PMMM, so now we'll have all the girls fighting," along with "People liked the five girls in PMMM, well we have more than five now," and "People like the angst and trauma the girls have to go through, so we'll just up that and make it so they're borderline suicidal." (Even PMMM's spin-offs are victim to this thinking, including the ones I personally like.) And this is where I disagree; more doesn't always equal good. I liked the simplicity of the original PMMM. Less characters also means more room for them to develop and for us to understand their issues.

I suppose this is an attempt by others to find what made PMMM work and replicate that ad infinitum for maximum profit, but as someone like me--who encountered PMMM in a bubble in the late 2010s, completely devoid of knowledge regarding the discourse surrounding it and its followers, because I was in college and barely did much in terms of anime fandoms for most of that decade--that isn't what really appeals to me about PMMM.

For me, what appeals to me about PMMM as its own story is a combination of its surreal/dissonant imagery of bright colors contrasted with darker ones, and just the idea of people trying to make their way in the world even though the world seems so callous. I mentioned it on Twitter that when I first watched the show, I was just out of school (beat a huge exam that I needed to take to pass), and I was thinking of all the possibilities of what my life out of college would be like. I was also dealing with someone I know committing suicide, so I was in this weird zone of struggling with the best moment of my life (currently), and one of the worst things that could have happened to me and people I know. Even what Madoka does in the end, I was fine with that. It reminds me of Guillermo del Toro's comments for his writing for Pan's Labyrinth, which also (spoilers) has a female protagonist in a cold world make a huge choice at the risk of her own life to do something that's for the greater good. That idea that, even a small change can have a ripple effect that affects other people. (Rebellion is a whole other discussion.)

Maybe it's because my initial viewing of PMMM is tied to that time, but none of the later post-Madoka type of shows have ever really gotten my attention that way. And I've personally come to the conclusion that the original twelve episodes of PMMM, while fine on their own and for their own story, are a terrible model to use as inspiration for other magical girl stories (which is why I didn't mind MagiReco just straight up throwing things out in the original game).

Everyone probably has different opinions about this; that's fine. I'm just talking about my own experiences here. It is what it is, in the end.