#there were only 4 other ppl there and they were also making various noises of disbelief so i think it's okay

[politedemon]

just went to see men (the film) and it certainly sets the record for most times i've said 'what the fuck' out loud in a cinema

[messymonologues]

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐄 & 𝐌𝐘 𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃 ✿❁✾❀

—

the basics (name, age, etc.):

-> maggie; 19; she/her; february pisces. raised in the american south but currently attending college in new jersey; pursuing a degree in diplomacy + international relations, on track for a 5 yr masters :)

-> i am christian and therefore have a very strong tie to my religion/ faith. i will not shame anyone for having different beliefs and have no desire to pressure anybody with my own religious beliefs in any way; however, you may see these beliefs reflected in some of the posts i make on this blog. my dedication to my faith has made a huge impact on how i have handled having adhd throughout my life, and it has helped me to personally cope over the years in much more healthy ways than if i had not had the stability & security of these core beliefs. that being said, read on for more facts about me & adhd!

some infodumping w/ more fun facts about me:

-> i’m a freshman in college and mentioned my major above, but i’m also hoping to go for a minor in east asian studies. i’m american so english is 1st but in total i speak 4 languages: english, fluent spanish, conversationally fluent korean, and basic japanese; i’m planning to learn mandarin chinese soon too :)

-> my mbti type is enfp (“campaigner”) !!

-> my favorite color is mint green & i love winter ❄️

-> unlike a lot of adhd-ers, i actually suck at art lol; however i write fiction on the side every now & then.

-> i love to travel and have visited 5 countries so far!

-> i don’t plan on putting any pics of myself on here but for curiosity purposes, i’m pale, short, + brunette.

-> that’s enough info dumping for now hehe but feel free to send more questions to my inbox <3 <3 <3

*all about my experience with adhd: (below the cut)*

my official adhd diagnosis:

-> i was diagnosed by an adhd specialist at around 6 years old with combined-type adhd (meaning i showed a combination of having both inattentive and hyperactive types present on my chart), and quite honestly i was told that my adhd levels were highly active and more elevated than a good amount of others with the same diagnosis. so basically, my adhd is fairly severe without being totally crippling. (in case you’re wondering how i treat my adhd: i tried various treatment options throughout elementary school and found that taking a prescription medication for it was the solution that helped me function the most; the dosage of the pill has fluctuated as needed over the years but i still take it every day as it does exactly what it should do inside my brain and makes my life a bit easier. however, i want to put in a disclaimer here to make it known that medication is not the only answer + doesn’t work for everyone the same way.) also, my adhd is genetic on my dad’s side!!

my most prominent symptoms & how my adhd typically presents itself:

-> my most common visible symptom is tics (aka fidgeting in ways that mimic a psych phenomenon called stimming, which describes physical motions that seem random but inexplicably provide release of stress from symptoms for neurodivergent ppl: i.e cracking knuckles, picking at nails or skin, playing with hair, etc.) but the rest of them are internal.

-> my other most common symptoms include: executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, rsd (rejection-sensitive dysphoria), decision paralysis, time blindness, object impermanence (“out of sight out of mind” except about pretty much everything not just material things), hyperfixation as well as hyperactivity, distractability, sensory sensitivity issues (specifically i just have an aversion to sudden loud noises like fireworks), and there’s no medical term for it but lastly, burnout/fatigue both physically and mentally.

nobody asked for this but anyways,, here’s some stuff that has helped me cope over the years:

-> reading books was my own personal escape mechanism as a kid. i’d get lost in a book whenever i felt like i was being too much, and then get so absorbed in reading that i’d tune out the world. it was very soothing for my hyperactivity and helped me establish a healthy outlet for my creative energy.

-> i’m not sure if all adhd-ers have this issue, but for me, caffeine has absolutely no effect on me. i can drink a monster/ red bull at bedtime and still get a full night of sleep; also, it doesn’t help me wake up in the mornings either. i cope with this by substituting the caffeine cravings with tea- all kinds- and tbh, tea has a whole lot of benefits that coffee does not! :)

-> you may have noticed that i didn’t include “impulsivity” as one of my symptoms above. this is because i learned at a young age how to curb my impulsiveness through playing a sport (which is one of the top recommendations for adhd-ers actually!), and i played volleyball for many many years. sports helped me control my impulsivity by giving me a place to exert all my quick bursts of energy and also taught me various kinds of self-discipline. it helps!!

-> adhd often (but not always) comes with the challenge of having an addictive personality due to the urge to access dopamine through means that aren’t always healthy, i.e substance abuse or repetitive bad habits. what worked well for me was to combat this dilemma by putting more time into hobbies and habits that make me feel in control of my energy whenever i find myself becoming addicted to or obsessed with a bad habit. this manifested over the years in the forms of: releasing pent-up energy by joining club sports, picking up a new book series to distract myself from the urge to cope with adhd in less healthy ways, writing as much as i want to & about whatever i want to in order to shift my focus from addictive coping habits to creative habits, and surrounding myself with friends whom i feel safe sharing my thoughts and emotions with (although they don’t always understand, they still lend me an ear & it really does help). of course, practicing mindfulness has also decreased how easily i get tangled up in a bad or addictive habit, since reflecting on those habits takes away the desire to obsess over them in a destructive manner.

-> it took me a very long time to realize that my intense emotions were not my fault and that what i was feeling was sometimes all due to rsd- i didn’t figure out how to handle them until late into my high school years. now that i know that my emotions are much deeper than those of the ppl around me, i’m learning to cope in much healthier ways instead of self-destructing/ shaming myself for my reactions. these coping skills include: distracting myself from situations where my emotion or reaction is caused only by rsd and not by an external factor by focusing my energy in a creative way that soothes the pain; using poetry or writing letters to myself to better process the emotions i am feeling and reflect on them in an observational- not judgmental- way; allowing myself to feel whatever i feel in the moment without letting myself be ashamed of the emotions or viewing them negatively; and (if my emotions are caused by another person) having an open-minded and honest conversation with whoever i feel has caused these emotions, where i gently express to them how i perceived whatever happened and inform them of the consequential emotions i reacted towards them with- this includes both good emotions and negative ones, as i am often overwhelmed by either of them. i still struggle with regulating them, so check out my navigation tag for rsd on my homepage for more!!

-> feel free to use any of these skills if you find that they help you overcome your own adhd roadblocks!

— back to navi

[autisticstarseed]

👐 Hand washing guide when you have sensory issues 👐

tbh. we shouldve been talking abt this a long time ago for many disabled ppls sake but ive put this post off for like a million years out of pure solidified fear of ableist harassment/kneejerk ignorance and also generalized cringe idiots but now that we got so much covid-19 fear and autistic ppl actually tend to have weaker immune systems than most people lets jump the shark;;;

i have autism and i physically struggle with washing my hands as often as i want to, having wet hands, drying them, the temperature difference, bad soap smells/textures, etc. are all genuinely painful. the good news is that ive dealt with water aversion shit since birth (its a common sensory issue), so ive had time to figure out alternatives and coping skills that still help reduce risk of disease and spreading it in ways that i can personally manage. (ie. not lazy or selfish or gross. genuinely putting more effort into this every day task than most other people would even think about. just disability lads) so heres the guide i have to offer if you’re in a similar boat, with some keypoints about hand hygiene and tips addressing the most common sensory struggles ive noticed with it;;;

1. hand sanitizer

i love hand sanitizer, i can get it in almost any scent i want and it dries down very very fast. the problem is; hand washing and hand sanitizer do different things. it only kills certain types of germs. which is all fine and dandy, but because of this, using only hand sanitizer wont actually keep you from catching or spreading many illnesses. so what its good for is times you cant wash your hands (out in public, sensory overload, no spoons, etc), thats fine, but it should not replace all hand washing if at all possible. it is supposedly effective to covid-19, but so little is currently known that it should not be considered your go to for this, and the only unanimous statement straight from the CDC is that hand washing works best at preventing its spread.

temperature - if you have trouble with it being too cold, conveniently keeping it in your pocket or closely against your body in some way warms it up and makes it much more comfortable. 

scent - they come in almost any scent you can imagine, but if you have trouble with strong scents, there are ‘scentless hand sanitizers’. they usually have a faint chemical smell, so if there are any testers available, you should check to make sure it can work for you before you buy it.

texture - if gel doesnt cut it, they also make foamy hand sanitizers and liquid sprays, but theyre harder to find and might be a little more pricey.

and remember; always buy hand sanitizer that says it contains AT LEAST 60% alcohol, the higher alcohol content the better, but try to keep track of how high it is and how much you apply it so you dont dry your skin out. and right now price gouging is pretty bad, so dont be surprised if you cant find any for a while, and dont buy any small bottle that costs over a couple dollars, its a rip off.

2. hand washing 

so what does hand washing do thats better than sanitizer??? soap and water lift up the dirt and oils that are carrying the germs and actually wash them off, and not only that, it also gets rid of all the things sanitizer cant, such as dust/dirt, spores, chemicals, and the previously mentioned viruses that are harder to kill. ik to an outside perspective it might not seem that hard, but obviously when you have autism and these tasks are split down into bigger ordeals and sensory nightmares, it can feel impossible. 

soap - there are so many different kinds of soap! scentless soaps exist, and they very rarely have any lingering chemical smell! theres also soap for sensitive skin, and baby soap also works well for that issue. bar soaps can come in all different shapes and sizes, with many different ingredients and additives to choose from (independent soap makers are an amazing source for customized soap btw), and liquid soaps can be pure gel, frothy, mousse-y or even have tiny exfoliating or moisturizing beads in them if thats a sensory experience you enjoy. this is my number one rec for people struggling with hand washing bc of sensory issues;;; mix up the soap. finding one that gives you an okay or even a GOOD sensory experience can completely turn around an otherwise meltdown inducing task

temperature - this is the one thats always been hardest for me. cold water straight up hurts me, and our plumbing is Terrible, so the trick i have for slow pipes is to run the hot water on high as Soon as i get into the bathroom. leave it going and by the time you’re done there should be at least lukewarm water. if this still takes too long for you, try out the various sinks in your house, usually one is able to get hot water faster than the rest (for me its the kitchen sink) and that can become a designated station for you if need be.

texture - some ppl just hate water. if thats the case, it rly doesnt change much abt the process if you use less water, ie work the soap into a lather, and then only use as much as you need to rinse it off. you dont have to keep your hands under the whole time, the soap clings to the dirt, the water takes it off all together, as long as you scrub well and rinse till you see no suds, you’re good 

If it really comes down to it, a washcloth with water+soap, a disinfecting wipe, or even literally just a rinse with plain ol water is better than nothing, but the stream of water and act of rubbing the soap in is the most effective combo against disease. soap/disinfectant wipes and hand sanitizers are your second best option. if theres a time in your life where an issue is so disabling for you that you truly cant keep any of this up, rly the most important thing is to limit your direct physical contact with your face and commonly used objects as MUCH as possible until you can figure smth out. (you kno those old ladies that grab a wipe and open the doorknob with it between their hand and the knob? become that old lady) and if push comes to shove, if a safe and accepting therapy setting is something accessible to you, hygiene struggles are actually something many mental health professionals understand Very well and can help you cope with personally and directly, without shame.

3. hand drying

this is also. my personal hell. and what most people say is the hardest part of the sensory experience. but ya cant just walk around with wet hands right

towels - the obvious choice for most, but to me they actually dont dry enough. i always end up damp and with lint stuck to me. this kills the man. but hand towels do have some variety to them, you can find em with really long fibers or really short/flat, really fuzzy or really stiff, etc. sounds silly but its smth a lot of ppl dont think about that can change a lot. you can also try super absorbent towels (yes like a shamwow), and again baby bath towels are also an option if you want something gentle.

paper towels - yeah a little more wasteful and expensive, but imo much more absorbent. theyre also pretty thin so you can get between your fingers (MY BANE), and under your nails if you use a corner. 10/10

blow drying - ik this is the kind of shit you only see in like movie theaters and malls and they are definitely LOUD AS SHIT, but if you happen to have the money, and struggle more with Textures than Noise, ie a stream of warm air seems worth the sound, you Can actually find a small basic one of these items for your own home. 

4. public restrooms

everybody hates em!!! but you can make em more tolerable;;;

soap - bring your own! little travel soaps you can keep in your bag are a godsend for ppl with sensory issues, sensitive skin/allergies, and if you just prefer not sharing soap.

temperature - most public places i notice actually do get hot water pretty fast (like,,, too fast,,, like,,, it bur ns me) so if there are no faucets and its too hot or too cold, once again you can try different sinks and one might be more comfortable. if there are faucets i recommend grabbing a paper towel to turn it off, so you dont have to touch it again with your clean hands.

sound - WHY R AUTOMTIC FLUSH TOILETS SO FUCKEN LOUDD..... honestly if you have noise cancelling earmuffs or earplugs or w/e pop em in. if you dont have any of that i just literally plug my ears with my fingers when i stand up. if you struggle with the sound of the blow dryers, they almost always have paper towels as well, but its a great idea to carry something like that around in your bag with you just in case. if its really packed and people chattering is getting to you, sometimes the ‘family’ bathrooms are actually smaller and less full. if its bad enough and you feel comfortable asking, an employee might be able to direct you to a single stall bathroom or at least a different one than that.

and though its convenient, try not to use your sleeve to touch things like doorknobs, toilet handles, etc. instead use something disposable like a paper towel or wipe, bc the germs will simply transfer to your sleeve and still risk infecting you. 

5. schedule

the number one suggestion is to wash your hands literally as often as possible during a time like this but like. even for allistic/nt/abled/ ppl thats just not always an attainable schedule so the Best times to wash your hands are;;;

after using the bathroom - the most important time and generally the easiest to get used to. its smth you have to do multiple times a day that already has a schedule, and if you were to forget or go into sensory overload its usually immediately accessible as soon as you can. as i mentioned earlier, if you need help remembering, you can turn the water on when you first get in and leave it going.

the doctors - ANY KIND of health facility should be avoided right now unless really necessary, places where sick people would frequent is the quickest way to get sick but like. ya rly cant help it sometimes right. you cant stop dealing with your own illnesses just bc theres another one floating around. so, this is time to go apeshit on the handwashing. if your health issue involves coughing and sneezing, ask for a face mask. bring a scarf in case they dont have any, its not as great but better than nothing. otherwise, you honestly dont need it, face masks are more for these people bc they keep germs in better than out. whether you’re worried abt getting sick or infecting others, this is a time to use hand sanitizer, avoid physical contact like shaking hands [autistic cheering], and when you first arrive and right before you go to leave are the most important times to remember to wash your hands. 

preparing food - not as commonly spoken about, but also easy to work into a schedule. i personally dont care unless its food for somebody else or if im going to be putting my hands on it a lot, but if thats the case, a lot of the time thats produce you already want to wash in the sink, so you can kill two birds with one stone there. dont just get the germs off your own hands, get em off the fruits and veggies before you eat em. carpool

after grocery shopping - not very common. most ppl just slap some sanitizer/a wipe on there or dont think abt it at all, but if you just got home from walmart thats a great time to wash. you just touched a bunch of items other people touched, including the cart, money/credit cards, and all the products people will pick up and put back, so its prime germ time babey. But again, sanitizer or a wipe will help if its all you can manage after a trip out like that.

before self care - also uncommon. ppl always say ‘dont touch your face’ and ‘apply this product with clean hands’, and what they mean is that one of the fastest ways germs get into your system is through your mouth, nose, eyes and ears. if you’re simply washing your face theres not as much concern, but applying a mask, moisturizer, makeup, etc. should all be done after a gentle rinse of your hands (and face). very hard to get into the schedule of, but if you consider it a Part of your ‘self care’ or use a special fun cleanser, it can stick a little easier.

6. stim items

STIM ITEMS!! if you have stim items, its a good idea to clean them regularly, but even moreso during an outbreak like this.

rubber/plastic - if it goes in your mouth, hot water (not hot enough to melt!) and dish soap, if it doesnt, look up how to safely make a diluted bleach solution.

silicone - silicone is usually dish washer safe.

fabric - if its light, add bleach to the washing machine, if its colored, you can use white vinegar or hydrogen peroxide which are less likely to discolor any dyes. lysol detergent is also super great. small items you’re worried about losing, or items with details/loose parts, you can usually wash inside of a sealed pillow case. 

‘squishies’ - for ‘mochi’ squishies aka the rubbery ones, soap and water + some dusted baby powder or corn starch (optional) to keep it from grabbing lint for a while. for foam squishies, they can rarely be deep cleaned without the risk of growing mold or taking paint off, but a disinfecting wipe every now and then should keep it clean for a while.

slime - cant be disinfected, sorry. also a breeding ground for mold if you arent careful, so its always best to cycle through these quickly.

technology - cant really be completely sterilized, but there are many places to get sprays and cleaning wipes for the devices you use that can at least keep the areas your hands frequently touch a little cleaner.

BUT of course if your item comes with instructions on how to wash it, always follow that instead. this is just a general idea.

and as a final note;;; disabled ppl should not feel guilty or dirty for struggling with this. like. man idc abt ur cringe feels or your ignorant blame or your lack of understanding/sympathy for what goes into these tasks for us. if u dont wanna get our struggles and sensitivities when we’re working twice as hard on functioning tasks which personal ease you take for granted, thats on you. @ disabled people if you struggle with maintaining the same standard of hygiene as nts you arent gross or bad fucking person, you’re disabled and by definition that means your level of functioning will be different, and you deserve sympathy. its just that germs dont discriminate, they wanna cause problems for everybody involved (especially you!!!), so Anything you can manage is Great and if anything from this post can help make it a little easier for people in any way, i feel its absolutely necessary to talk about with respect and dignity. people with autism/adhd/sensory processing disorder/similar neurodivergencies/literally anybody else this could benefit, pls feel free to add on any tips you might have or send me questions. let disabled ppl help disabled ppl do our personal bests

[unproduciblesmackdown]

you said random number so.. gimme 5, 17, 24, 26, 38, and 43

#epic thank you!!!! sorry this is so long, gang, but you know me. press J if you have that keyboard shortcut option

5)favorite fics?

soph nothingunrealistic’s!! click the link & peruse any of the dozen gifts to this world on ao3. also just go right to her writing tag

17)a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?

well i don’t Really have an answer for this one, but just yesterday it was once again time to talk abt how jaclyn moriarty’s 4-book ashbury/brookfield YA series is a lot of fun and unusual in good ways, but like, i guess what with being published throughout the aughts and like, not being super obscure but also not being explosively popular, and idk maybe they were also more Known in australia than the US, and, idk, but there’s not exactly what you’d call a Fandom online, or even very many traces of one. and i just like to mention the series as Fun To Read because they are very lively and focus on girls and have a real variety of Girl Characters (and also some boy characters who are also varied and fun but that’s just a bonus) and in particular i like to talk about how the third book has a really Unusual Choice Of Protagonist (the unfun unpopular Best Grades by-the-book overachiever etc etc etc nerd girl, kinda having the personality that ppl misinterpret alana beck’s personality to be lol, like something of a killjoy goody-two-shoes lol, but also with that earnestness and drivenness that alana has as well)......and the format of each book is Epistolary, but in different and creative ways each time, and it’s fun how like, the characters who are telling the story (the ones whose letters are used and etc) rotate with each book [tho emily and lydia are Storytellers in the 2nd And 4th books] and it’s very neat how like, you do get that sense that just b/c someone’s not being Focused On as much from different people’s perspectives doesn’t mean they aren’t still existing and present and doing stuff and having their own story, even when that’s not being mentioned by whoever’s writing down the events that we’re reading. we love that sentiment. anyways i just like to always Promote them.

24)who are you at the end of this decade?

hmmm!! i mean in many ways i am who i have been the whole time but yknow, 2009 - 2019 was a tumultuous period. i was always furiously trying to think through Who Am I As A Person for various reasons, even though like, when you’re in ur mid-teens that’s always In Progress rather than there being a really set answer to be discovered, and for a while it was a lot of frustration with myself all “why are you like [this], why can’t you do [that] right,” etc etc. but eventually i had like, a better frame of reference for a lot of what was going on, and even why i never quite felt like i had a great sense of Who I Am and What I Like and etc in the first place, and more understanding and respect for myself lol. even now it’s like, yknow i’m ~self-consious~ in ways often lol and i’ll sometimes Use that to be like, okay try to improve [this thing] about yourself!! and yknow on the one hand i feel like stuff i’ve been Working On for years Has paid off in ways, but then recently it’s like......okay hang on but like, it’s not a bad thing to like, have some traits that maybe aren’t gonna be seen as “perfect” or might be annoying or yknow, your Demeanor and Vibe isn’t always like, the most important thing to focus on lol or something where like, oh being sweet & saintly & coming across as utterly pleasant to everyone always gets to be The Objective Ideal. like, i’m opinionated and can be argumentative and sometimes impatient?? like, there’s a balance here between “good to be trying to Improve Yourself always or whatever lol” and “but also everyone is People with Traits and Different Personalities and everyone doesn’t have to just sand themselves down into an edgeless smooth sphere” and like, sure it’s like “haha i’m a bit more temperamental than i’d like still” but also i sure sympathize w/ the fact that like, oof, depression makes it tricky sometimes! and i do pretty okay at like, being Aware of when my mood is cursed and trying to be as chill about it as poss! or like, “haha wish i was better at conversation lmao” but yknow also understanding that like.....i’m just kinda Not great at it and that’s what’s Natural for me and like, again, a balance between “trying to be easier to talk to, lol” and “being okay with the fact that i’m not super easy to talk to and most ppl aren’t very easy for me to talk to either, lol”

im trying to be a bit less cagey lol which i guess might not be the first word someone might use to describe me for a variety of reasons, But......and but then also, i just like, for me there is no simple Be Yourself, Just Talk Naturally As U Would conversation mode lol, but you know. it’s hardly a pressing issue, and at the same time, like, sometimes when i find it hard to talk to people it’s like “well this is just you needing to Be Nicer” or whatever, or like, well you’re just not used talking to Anyone so like, push through it, and then it takes me a while to realize like, well no you just don’t love talking to them, lmao......and at the same time i’m Really slow to realize when people *do* actually enjoy talking to me, lmao, i am just not used to it And used to people like, not really being super interested in interacting with me even if they think i’m alright lol. lord! so i’m still slightly surprised whenever Anyone likes me, but also like, then again there’s sort of always these repeated scenarios where it’s like [Glum Trombone Noise] i’m also the recipient of various ppl’s various contempt for various reasons........which like, i sure don’t Absorb that as like “way 2 go, you deserve that” but also like, sure also never is the most fun experience of your life. but i have a way more solid sense of the fact that like, i don’t inherently deserve that, and an understanding of Why people will be Like That sometimes, and that’s all been acquired knowledge from the whole journey of this decade lol

also like, i have always been and continue to be like, Basically A Cat lol.....cats-sonas for everyone, ___ the ___ cat, But Seriously Folks........like, oh, there’s a lot of ppl and/or noise around?? unless i have chosen to put myself in that situation for fun, i’m probably gonna be finding whatever quiet / distant corner to hide out in and try to remain as undetected as possible.......kinda wary about interacting with people sometimes, though then also, i like to be friendly w/ strangers (if they’re friendly with me) and won’t necessarily mind spontaneous interactions but only if it’s Plausibly Expected in the situation, and even then, i might just prefer that Nobody Talk To Me......and i’ve yet to be Really comfortable in a group of ppl if i’m there *with* that group lmao, like, i don’t like to take the lead or compete for attention or anything and just kinda will try to do my own thing on the outskirts, whereas if i’m by myself it’s just like, i feel a lot more comfortable and like i can just do whatever lmao..........and also i don’t like to make noise lol. unless again, it’s deliberate, and it’s Fun. like at a concert? i will be the death of whatever nerd like, wants it to be like a solemn “listening to a record” occasion or wants everyone to yell out complete sentences if a performer asks an Arena full of people How Are You Doing 2nite or whatever. i’m gonna yell!!! anyways. idk. i am always like “oh i am Very Much [this way], except for all the times i am totally [the would-be Opposite way]”........i can’t really opt out of having Anxious Qualities and that’s alright, even though it does get in the way of things sometimes for sure. like, c’est la vie!!! i understand why i am like this, and that like, while for my own sake i can try to hold my own hand here and encourage myself to be a little bolder, it’s totally fine that like, i have Problems and Difficulties. 

i’m also at like, maybe the lowest levels of Impending Dread that i’ve had since i was like, 8 or some shit lmao............like again kind of a Wild Decade and one where like, it was totally all like “wow am i even gonna make it to [a few yrs in the future] -> [a year in the future] -> [half a year from now]” aaand it hasn’t been a full year yet since i was last thinking like “lmfao oof i might not be alive by __, who knows!!” but even while that was going on it was at least an improvement from the times i thought i might like, hmm hope i don’t off myself. and like, this is probably the first Start Of A Year in like. well possibly the past decade lmao, where yknow, it hasn’t felt quite as dire. i mean im not really out here a cockeyed optimist about anything, and like, i’m aware that things are always a little tenuous and there’s other factors i’m always nervous about, but That’s nothing new, and i’m kinda more like, neutral about the future rn lol? feeling less Dread and Doom is new-ish lmao and like, allowing that yknow, despite how crappy the past decade has been re: how i felt in my Outlook, there’s been a bunch of surprising Good Things to come along, and i totally allow for the fact that that could easily continue to happen. having Less(ened) Bad Feelings about Things might not = Absolutely Thriving but i appreciate it!! i also try to be appreciative lmao. like, what with the dread and doom & (hope i don’t die this year, i guess,) feelings, it’s wildly hard nowadays for me to like, anticipate stuff in a ~fun~ way or at all, but yknow when anything nice, even a really small / unspectacular / ordinary moment and/or detail, is being experienced by me, i try to enjoy that. i like to be Appreciative. and i think i’m also sort of like, sharing more of myself than i’ve probably gotten to or felt capable of doing in the past, and i appreciate that a lot too. like, it can be really Depressing for sure to think of like, hmm i haven’t had the chance to like, feel in control of things and like things are Totally Fine and i feel Totally Okay & like i’m enjoying everything, and i can choose to pursue [things i might enjoy], and maybe i Won’t have that chance? [another glum trombone noise] but like. i appreciate the good experiences that i Do and Have gotten so far. and the fact i’ve ever been in situations to connect with people and enjoy things the ways that i can and like, it’s really nice that My Presence in other ppl’s lives, even as just like Some Online Rando re: some ppl lmao, has had some positive effect for them or even just been enjoyed is like, wow, this is pretty great lol.........not sure where i was taking this tangent but like, i am someone who appreciates this a lot.

hmm i am also a passionate person at the end of this decade lmao!!!! that has definitely always been true. i am Of That Temperament. it is funny b/c like, the fact that i am A Motormouth Actually But Often Not Saying Anything In The Least To People, they think i’m like, of this very mild disposition and Not someone with strong opinions that they will launch into, or else i would have been doing that already........but you know!!! here i am online, fully able to just dive into things and start talking about whatever for one million years. and i sure latch onto stuff in a Big Way sometimes, which is why anyone follows me at all lol, b/c if you like [whatever particular content] and i am just all about that too, it’s a beneficial situation for us both i guess lmao. i can get really excited and focused about stuff, obviously, and i sure Also Obviously like to explore the emotional aspects of things. which is a vague thing to say lmfao but you all know what i mean!!! it continues to be the only reason i draw lmaooo like i draw so much and like, Making Fanart And Sharing It Online has i think also been a journey of this decade for me, and i really only draw a) exactly that fanart that i feel like making, and b) what i feel like making is always also probably abt Feelings somehow, like the Three Emotions: kissing (aka gay), crying (sad), and angry (angry)........great news if you want to see the stuff i already happen to be drawing lol!!! bad news i guess if you were hoping i’d draw anything but whatever i end up wanting to draw. i cannot be diverted. and i don’t even draw for its own sake lol like, i’ve always doodled for fun and all that, but like, ive never been a “wow i want to make my own __ someday” or whatever, and if i’m trying to draw something which is anything other than [the exact thing i might feel like drawing] it is Such a chore that like, i just don’t do it except for like, total Exceptions. except exceptions lol. don’t ask!! anyways why did i get on that drawing tangent there........yeah it’s definitely lucky that i’ve been giving myself that Drawing Experience so that i can connect w/ ppl that way, cuz i’m godawful at like, necessarily providing other stuff lol Or at being the one to Make Connections Happen otherwise......and also of course sometimes it is easier to convey/communicate something via drawing. woohoo!!

anyways yeah i’m a bit excitable lol and i sure guess i’ve got that Chaotique energy at times, for better or worse lol........like sometimes my Contribution can be like, just an absolute wild card thrown into the pile, or just like, maybe adding some Boost to a situation that other people can run with if they so choose. just throw things out there sometimes and enjoy when other ppl find that fun lmao

what else is there about me??? lol.......oh yeah i’m always sort of an Office Goofaround (not actually in an office ever, though). like, when ppl Don’t have that sense of Collaborative Humor where like, if someone does something a bit silly u just roll with that bit, or if god forbid they have Exhausting Cishet Guy humor where they think everything is about Dry, “Intelligent” Sarcasm and that being “funny” is about making yourself look like the coolest or cleverest person there who Wins the Center Of Attention spot?? it’s like, eff that, where are my Get Silly gang. also puns are funny but also only b/c they are silly. you have to really lean into it lol. 

well anyways!!!! and when i am asked to talk about myself i can be very extensive and yet not necessarily cover everything. here we are

26)favorite look you had?

my look hasn’t changed too much! Tees n Jeans (or shorts? or jorts? lol) are pretty much my thing altho you Know i have at times added in A Layer, or even accessories.......as always, part of the first few years of the decade for me was the whole “aha, yeah okay i’m trans” process, but before that i wasn’t ever really trying to be more “””””””””fashionable”””””””””” than the tees n jeans type of look anyway lmao, and even nowadays like, i have some Wardrobe Items that like, ppl might consider ”androgynous” or whatever when cis dudes wear them, like leggings or a v-neck sweater........really some of the only significant Changes was getting binder/s eventually (by 2012?? ugh idk) and also like, by 2011 i cut my hair relatively short, and from there on i just like, every year went “ugh god i need it to be shorter” and even now i’m like, hmm, do i want it shorter or is this fine?? but also i’m somewhat limited styling-wise b/c i just continually cut it myself in a bathroom mirror, true chaotic. and! i’ve been like, god i wish i had a baseball cap that’s just like, solid [my fave blue] or yknow, black or something, or idk. one that i like. and also someday it would be nice to like, not only have an updated prescription of lenses but also Multiple Glasses Frames to choose from, even though my current ones are alright still lol.......this is me just talking abt my past looks and how i’d like to potentially update my look lmao i did Not answer the question but, as usual, i also don’t have a great direct answer lol

38)a prediction you had for this decade that came true?

lol this was not a decade where i was ever looking ahead to 2020 and making any assumptions about this Block Of Time as a whole.......i mean like, i was Really starting to suspect byyyy 2012 for sure that like, i could not like, be able to exist And have my parents be in my life at all lol and by 2013 it was just like. increasing confirmation of that. and i last saw / spoke to them prior to me just effing out of there at the end of 2015. snaps for me

43)an important relationship (of any kind) you had?

well a couple i appreciated that might not be obvious were pretty brief and fairly impersonal lol. so in 2015 i had this Nightmare Job for five whole months which was obviously miserable in most ways, but there was this other guy who wasn’t even a Coworker, we just had the same job and had similar routes of Stores to go to, so we would run into each other a lot of mornings, and he would talk to me and i’d talk to him and he was totally good-humored about everything and that was helpful lmao b/c it’s great to have Someone you enjoy seeing. i also struck up a rapport with a baked-goods stocker at one particular store, and that could be an enjoyable 14 seconds. it was a godawful job lmao and like, Any pleasantness at all / decent treatment from other people was very helpful

also at this other job the next year which was a lot less hellish, there was this customer lady who like, i can’t remember at what point she started talking to me but yknow it got to be that if we’d run into each other she’d kind of update me on her life. and she would be like “sorry i’m talking to you, a stranger, about all this stuff all the time, but my life is a mess and i don’t really have anyone to talk to” and i would be like, lmfao mood, do not even worry about it, and yknow this was someone i only ran into usually once every few weeks at my job, and could only listen to for however long, but she was Going Tf Through It all the time and as much as i am a chatterbox who will go on for a century about myself b/c i can’t be concise abt anything ever, i’m also decent at being in Listening Mode lmao or yknow, i was like No Truly i don’t mind you venting, and also yknow, i’m like well i know how much it sucks to have Nobody to talk to about Big Problems. and i am this random restaurant worker and if i’m one of the only people this lady can talk to, you can bet i’m going to listen lol.......and she was really goin through it all One Thing After Another and yknow i’d catch her two weeks later and she’d be all like, well [this situation] has gotten worse, or This One Problem is over but now New Problem has replaced it, etc, and a whole issue that i got updated on was like lol. she had this boyfriend who she’d kinda mention early on when she was talking abt trying to find a job, or losing a new-but-terrible job and once again being back in that Job Hunt Stress, and idk like. i just sort of have decent Relationship Instincts lmfao of like “hmm this doesn’t sound great” but like, a month or two later she’s straightup Married to this dude, and i’m like oh congrats :) and then when a month or two after That she’s talking about how like, she’s maybe having Job Probs again and her now-husband is really giving her shit for like, not having found a new one yet, i’m like internally all [ :)))))) Not Surprised :))))))) ] but i’m like. yknow you Sympathize n Validate but if you just up and tell someone who’s being treated real bad like “you are being treated terribly, this person is acting terribly” then they might just want to defend them like oh it’s not That bad, or minimize it, and blame themselves for making their terrible partner “look bad”.......and by extension when she once was in our restaurant With said husband and introduced us i was like, just getting further confirmation abt this dude’s shittiness from his Immediate Vibe lmao like....whenever i feel uncomfortable enough in someone’s presence in a [not just universal level of Anxiety] way, it’s like, that instinct is pretty reliable & accurate lol.....but i had to pretend Not to hate him or act too standoffish towards him lmao cuz like!!! i figured i could “get away with it” but yknow, this lady had already said how isolated she was and the husband sure seemed Controlling and like, yknow, if you act like you don’t Like the shitty partner or said shitty partner catches wind of you maybe telling this person that “hey your partner is being shitty” then it’s all, them telling their partner “don’t go around that person who is so obviously Against me >:(” and like. yknow i figured as Random Restaurant Employee this dude wasn’t about to be super on guard about me but i still was not wanting to risk it but luckily i only met him the one time and only had to casually pretend i didn’t think he was shit that one time. and anyhow! soon enough the lady is talking to me about how she thinks getting married to him was a mistake but like, again, she was real isolated and didnt have family or friends or ppl in the area to talk to, and like, yknow she would be pretty sure her husband was cheating on her but of course He was the one all like, wanting to be controlling and invade her privacy and accuse Her of cheating on him, and i’m like, internally screaming but again yknow, i’m just letting her vent to Anyone (me) and sympathizing. and iirc her talking about her “uh oh my husband sucks” was like, i had come back from this delivery so we were in the parking lot lol and she was so upset about all of it and like, “sorry i’m just this random person talking to you for twenty minutes in a parking lot and crying lol” and i’m like. i mean yknow if the only person you can vent to about this terrible situation is me, this random person in a parking lot, absolutely i am glad to do it, even though i would’ve done it anyways lol...........and i was so mad at our General Manager this one time lmao b/c. yknow it’s a couple weeks later and wouldn’t you know it, The Lady is really stressed b/c her husband was yelling at her and broke a window in their apartment, and the Cost Of Repairs added to their monthly rent meant they might not be able to make that rent, and she was in that crappy situation that gets pulled on Tenants Who Probably Don’t Have Much Money, where you’re supposed to get 5 Days Notice or whatever when they’re like “get out b/c your rent is overdue” but you get that Notice on like, friday afternoon when your Last Day is supposed to be the following monday, and nobody is at the office all weekend, so obviously that’s not five days and it’s really only One Day and that Last Day that you’d even have a chance to talk to anyone, which is also a monday when you’d probably have work, and yknow, good luck finding help over the weekend, when probably ppl will just want to spend that time rushing to just pack their shit up and leave anyways.....ANYHOW it’s just some particular heinous bullshit and it was like, the saturday after it had happened to her, and i sympathized entirely b/c that had happened to me and i now lived in my car but i figured i wouldn’t bring that up lmfao.......and anyways i was sitting down with her to listen to her b/c it’s an Insanely Stressful Situation and again like, whenever she’d show up i’d let her talk to me abt her Problems for however long she felt like. and anyways of course eventually the one By-The-Books manager gives me shit all like “what are you doing daring to Sit Down and Not be doing restaurantly actions, ugh” and i’m like. i mean, unsurprising lecture to get lol, of course, but i was just so impatient like. well this person was having a crisis so i prioritized that above keeping the coffee stirrers fully stocked at all times, bite me. ENNYHOW and i didn’t see her for a minute after that and i Was a bit worried b/c like. of course i had every reason to be and she was just always looking so completely exhausted but then like, actually the last time i saw her she was actually more upbeat than ever b/c like! turns out that during an argument her husband had assaulted her and had been arrested. which is of course like. i was like oh i am completely sorry about that trauma but congratulations at this person being separated from you!!! and like, i wish i could have kept up with her beyond that, but i couldn’t, but like, that was the first Improvement in her life that i’d heard since i met her, and it was a way better last-thing-to-hear-from-her than her stressing out abt eviction thanks to her abusive husband breaking shit. and like, weird relationship lmao but!! idk i did feel lucky that i could be The One Person This Lady Gets To Talk With b/c like, god forbid she have absolutely nobody to talk to about this shit or treat her with any sympathy, even if it was just me, the rando she only got to see on occasion. and i hope she’s doing okay still! wish i knew for sure of course, but i’m glad i at least got to be there for her in a tiny way for a period of time and did eventually like, Know that she both knew that this was a bad person to be with, and got that Reason to be separated from him.

[theclash]

I was gonna say do all of them but that’s a fucking lot so do all the evens

okay babeeeeey I’m finally getting around 2 it!

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)A RACCOON 

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?Animal Crossing, Mario Kart, Sonic and Tails 2

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]just had to take a quiz for this, I got melancholic 

10: Are you allergic to anything?penicillin, msg, pollen, various food dyes and random other things

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?COFFEE

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?vampire

16: How tall are you?5ft 8in

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]116lbs

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?space

22: Pet peeves?loud chewing, tapping, background noise that’s repetitive 

24: Favorite constellation?leo cuz im a leo 

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?this is such a weird question ghfjdkhgkh uhh idk!

28: Do you think global warming is real?duh

30: Favorite movie?the wall or yellow submarine

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?3 dogs, 2 cats, probably about 60 different chickens, 20 or so fish, a cricket, a spider

34: What is a color that calms you?blue

36: Where were you born?Tacoma, WA

38: Introvert or extrovert?Extrovert

40: Hugs or kisses?both but only for my gf

42: Who is someone you love deeply?gf :)

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?yea but its not like OOGOHHH TATTOOS PIERCINGS SO SEXY its more like I like them but I dont have a preference whether someone has them or not

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!her name is Em and she’s strong and cute and soft and fun and i wanna see her Right NOW

48: A sound you really love?seagull noises

50: Can you do the splits?nope

52: Favorite movie?it already asked this ghfjkd

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?i like it brown but like if I didnt have to have it look decent/’appropriate’ at work then silver or something would be cool idk sometimes I feel like I wanna bleach it too

56: Something that calms you down?watching soap carving asmr videos honestly LMAO. & being held by gf obv

58: What does your URL mean?i like the clash and joe & I’m a lesbian

60: Do you believe in evolution?Yup

62: What makes you follow a blog?pure clout

64: Favorite animal(s):raccoon :)

66: Favorite emoticon:🤠

68: What is your MBTI personality type?ENTP

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?mine couldn’t

72: Post a selfie or two?I’m on computer snzzz 

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?i’m sexy

76: Do you like birds?DUH

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?I’ve never been ice skating cuz I’m too clumsy but swimming isnt very fun either idk I cant see for shit when I’m in the water

80: Some thing you wish did exist:lil wayne

82: Something you really enjoy doing:being swaggie 

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?god I have no clue I joined it within its first year of existence 

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?yea my avg is/was around 7

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?no

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?raccoon but im not a furry

92: A store you hate?ummm. idk. hollister I guess fuck hollister lives (sorry paul simonon)

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?fly (2 gf)

96: Winter or summer?summer

98: Least favorite person?god

100: A store you love?local record store

102: Where do you live?house

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?stevens universe. idk any of the blue ones are epic

106: Do you like bugs?not the ones that fly constantly (ie pine conifer bugs are my fav and they fly but like I hate flies, gnats, moths, etc)

108: Something you get paranoid about?oh boy lol

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?i have no clue who tf keeps track 

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?most ppl have?????

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?sunny

116: Favorite cloud type:sick clouds xD xD xD XD

118: Do you have freckles?no

120: Fruits or vegetables?vegetal

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?do you love the colors of the sky

124: Bright or dim lights?dim usually cuz I often have a headache but I also cant see for shit when its dim

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:mclennon shippers

128: What do you think about the least?bro how are we supposed to just come up wth what we thinkg about the least. what I think about the least is Whatever it is that I think about the least

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?some men.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?not usually I’m really self conscious about my mouth in pictures I usually try to cover it honestly lol except in selfies cuz I can actually see how it looks

134: Do you like roller coasters?yes but not the ones that do loops

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?i looked up the two for a comparison so I could give an answer and apparently that whole concept is a myth

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?usually like a 7 

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?nope

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?good? idk

144: What makes you angrymen. thinking in both a broad and specific sense

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?im a lesbian

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:eyes

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.Em, Greg Hawkes, Roger Waters

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?I have never platonically kissed anyone lol I’ve literally only kissed my GF 

156: What embarrasses you?not much

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:once I was questioned whether I cheated on my math by using a calculator and I said no which was a lie then I got detention

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?29,551 

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?17,329

164: Do you have long or short hair?medium?

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?mmmm dont make me get in to it

168: Do you like to wear makeup?only sometimes

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?yes

[theshipperfor2guys]

Fans stalking/disturbing Bangtan

I’ve written this on twitter & felt like conveying more thots on this matter here as well since I’m sick of this kind of things coming up and the fandom gets messy. Plus I’m just so annoyed because this matter has been mentioned a million billion times by several others but so called “fans” Just. Don’t. Care. & they come up with various excuses to justify their actions & say, tbh, stupid things (If it cud be converted to $$, u wud be able to marry Yoongi!) xD I guess this will be the first and last time I’m gonna write about this. Get it off my chest. ^^

This issue relates more to Bangtan but I guess it can be applied to other idols/celebrities as well. (This turned out to be really long! :O)

My take is that:

🍄 No u hv absolutely no right to disturb, stalk, break into anyone's house, steal their things, poison them and whatever that falls into the category of harassment or breaking the law.

🍄 Yes stalking is illegal, no qualms abt it. From 2016 in Korea, you can face 2 yrs in prison + heavy fines for stalking.

🍄 “Stalking is UNWANTED or OBSESSIVE attention by an individual or group towards another person. Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them.”

🍄  Your actions have negative consequences whether you like it or not and whether u try to deny it. It’s just a fact.

1) “Bangtan signed up for it. They know what they have to deal with. It comes with the job. And I’m not harming them”.

Do ur actions make it right? Bangtan won’t like it nor do they deserve it. This thinking is illogical. It’s like saying police or firefighters signed up for getting killed anytime. They & their family shud just deal with it. It’s okay for them to die. We can’t blame the criminal.

So I guess u like being stalked by a stranger, ppl crowding u or screaming in your ears? They’re not really harming u right? U think it’s not that serious or that its harmless but sadly, accidents have happened becos fans stalk idols. Plus, do u really want the ppl u like to feel uncomfortable when they go to your country?

Yes Bangtan know what they have to deal with, but do you really want them to have a headache dealing with the shit u put them thru? That’s not a form of  supporting them at all. Imagine yourself being super tired preparing for concerts, or after a tiring day at school or work and all u want to do is take a break and enjoy ur meal or the scenery and there are people screaming outside the restaurant, or shoving cameras in your face. Not so nice isn’t it?

2) “We are the ones who make them where they are now. Without fans, they are nothing. We can do anything to them.”

Hello which dreamland are u in?

U think? U sure? Okay then, how about you just NOT support them. I’m sure the rest of us, the millions of fans who don’t stalk or harass them can help Bangtan reach the top just fine. We really don’t need any of you around. Fact: you’re not the only one supporting them. Without other fans’ support as a whole, u can’t do shit for Bangtan or other celebrities for that matter.

It’s like rude customers. Companies don’t care about unreasonable customers who are rude and think they have every right to demand anything they want. That’s a fact. If u work, u shud know. If u don’t, it’s something to learn.

It’s also like if your boss hire/promote u, can they do whatever they want? Can they steal your things, stalk u, take upskirt or naked pictures of u since they are the ones who “make u where u are now.” If this is true, then Bighit can just do whatever the heck they want to do to Bangtan’s body and soul.

Fans are only 1 reason why Bangtan is popular. The only reason u are able to support Bangtan is because of Bangtan’s hardwork & talent, their managers, producers, those working behind the scenes to give in ideas on how to push them up. They are the ones who make it so that you can get to know and listen to Bangtan’s amazing, quality-filled music, watch them in MVs and their interactions together. They are the reasons why you can get attracted to Bangtan so that you can decide to make them more popular.

This is called mutually beneficial relationship. Both sides have to work together. We gain a lot from Bangtan too. We get to listen to music, be inspired etc. So you don’t get to be all self-entitled. You don’t get to decide how much credit u get in terms of supporting them, you don’t get to decide that u have the right to disturb any of them, and u don’t get to decide who they hang out with.

3) “It’s not my business that they have to deal with this. It’s fun. If I want to, I will stalk. I won’t face any consequences anyway. I won’t get caught. ”

Well, that’s what anti-fans who spread malicious things about Bangtan initially thought.

And if this is how u go about in life and in the workplace, you will definitely face consequences in the future. And if this is how you treat Bangtan, you’re really not a fan. There’s no love in that.

4) “I didn’t get to see them in concerts! I seldom see them! It’s my first time!”

First, they’re not animals in the zoo that u can just watch, stalk and shove your cameras at their faces.

So not getting into concerts is their fault? They shud deal with this negative consequences of u not attending their concert? It doesn’t give u any right to stalk. And once u start working, I believe there will be a chance to see them in future concerts. :)

5) “I don’t really care either way. These things won’t change. These people won’t change. Fans are like this. Let them do whatever they want. Bangtan will deal. You’re just wasting breath telling people to stop”

Yoongi once said “Then why live when you’ll die anyway?”

Then why fight for women’s rights, racial equality, political issues, child abuse etc. Nothing will change if you do or say nothing. And honestly, if this were to happen to yourself, would you really say this?

People’s impression of our fandom isn’t considered good at all and that’s mildly speaking. Doing these actions that perturb Bangtan just isn’t doing anyone good except for your own self-satisfaction.

You have the personal responsibility to learn to be considerate and not make people around u suffer. You have the choice to make right decisions. And who knows? People do change. Some people don’t even know what they’re doing is bad. This issue won’t change only because there are fans who don’t care about anything unless it concerns themselves.

If there are fans from certain countries who respect Bangtan without these kind of issues happening, I don’t see why others can’t.

And do stop objectifying them as if they’re objects to be claimed. Are you an object, an item, a non-functional, non-breathing piece of thing? No? So is Bangtan!!! Surprise surprise! Each of them are entitled to their right to have privacy and rest especially since they need so much of that! You making so much noise is making them even more exhausted and when that happens, their concert performances may not be as good as normal.

I didn’t mean for this to get so long, but somehow all my thoughts became really long! T_T

Anyway, if these people want to continue doing what sasaengs do, they’re saying “yes I want the people I support to hate me”. Then continue being all selfish and self-entitled. It reflects who u are, and Bangtan’s impression of your country.

Really, how difficult is it to think and be considerate for Bangtan?.

~ These are just my own little thoughts about this issue~