#there’s no chance in hell im gonna be able to complete all of the prompts but

[azuzula]

Monster High March Day 1 - Howl 🌕

was this an excuse to draw clawdeen slaying? maybe. you can’t prove anything though.

Alt. Versions Below!

She’s too pretty i had to include the standard lighting and without jacket

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Life size mannequin.

Erik’s girl uses him as a mannequin but Erik takes it too far and it back fires.

If you were to ask Y/N how she gets everything done she wouldn’t be able to give you a straight forward answer. Juggling school, a full time job, and a side hussle isn’t for the delicate and inadequate. Staying up until 2 AM with flash cards sprawled out on the living room table and a ratty mannequin head between her legs every night, Y/N fights much needed rest to recharge for the next days events. That’s not the only thing her teeming life has to offer. Y/N’s new boyfriend, Erik would be seen as a distraction to some but she can hold her own without slacking on her studies, missing a days work, or forgetting to do a clients hair. He’s handsome, fun, intriguing, smart, and that dick...it needs its own SSN and certificate. It’s own area code even. If she had to admit it, whenever her mind drifted to their bodies tangled in her sheets, moaning and groaning, she lost focus just a little bit.

Y/N is off on a Friday for once and instead of catching up on rest, Y/N decided to use her entire day making a closure wig for a friend and client. It’s a 24 inch body wave natural black lace frontal. No shedding, very soft, bouncy, with overall great quality. If only her lousy mannequin head would keep still!!! Y/N gave up after the mannequin head slipped from her grip. She usually has a wig stand with a mannequin head attached to the end but all of them are covered with other wigs that didn’t need to be ruined. The old fashioned way brought her back to how frustrating it was to practice. And to make things worse, Erik is strolling back and forth in front of her naked after his shower and completely ignoring her closet stocked with plenty of towels. When he stopped in front of her, his strapping thighs and that lethal weapon dangling she felt her face grow warm and her belly grow butterflies.

“You’re not helping, jerk,” Y/N said as she continued sewing. She was almost finished.

“I haven’t seen you in a few days and the one time I have a chance to spend time with you, this is what you do.”

“This wig is past due, Erik. I was supposed to get this to her two days ago. Thank God she had some shit going on herself otherwise I would be losing a client.”

Erik gave up trying to seduce Y/N and grabbed a pair of briefs from his travel bag.

“Whatever, you owe me some after this,” Erik sat down on the bed, leaning on one elbow, “You really into this.”

“And?” Y/N sassed.

“I’m just saying. Why not be a full time hair stylist?”

“Because I don’t want to do this for a living. Why else would I be in school for something that has nothing to do with hair? It’s just money to make on the side.”

The mannequin slipped again and Erik burst out laughing.

“I wanna see you try it since you find my struggle funny.”

“Oh, you don’t want me to do it I’ll fuck that whole wig up.”

Y/N ignored his smart remark.

“I’ll come over there and mess that shit right up and make you start over.”

“Erik, I’m not in the mood right now leave me alone,” Y/N cut her eyes at him, “Try me if you want I will take the end of this needle and dig it in one of them keloids. Make it pop like bubble wrap, think I’m playing.”

“You forget you’re talking to someone with a pain kink. Why you think my pain receptors fucked up?”

“So, you mean to tell me, if I boil some hot water right now and pour it on your leg...you wouldn’t feel pain?”

Erik frowned his face into a mug at Y/N as he cocked his head back. The widening of his eyes is what made her giggle.

“You don’t know how to love me all you wanna do is hurt a nigga. What is wrong with you?”

“I’m only messing with you—”

“No you’re not. If I say some shit you don’t like I get slapped upside my head. If I want to be in a playing mood you threaten me with that little fist of yours. Just admit it, you enjoy tormenting me.”

“You’re so Goddamn dramatic,” Y/N tilted her mannequin head forward, “Can you do me a huge favor?”

“If it involves getting up off this bed the answer is fuck no,” Erik said while lying on his back now with his legs hanging over the edge of the bed.

“I already know you’re about to say no but...I want you to let me use you as my mannequin.”

“Huh?”

The way his voice rose an octave has Y/N laughing.

“Can you let me put this wig on you so I can finish this?”

Erik’s brows shot up as his eyes landed on her, “Why? So you can sneak and take a picture? I’m not falling for that.”

“Erik c’mon now. I just need your head for a second and that’s it.”

“I can think of other ways you can use my head but instead you wanna put some weave on me.”

Erik sat up and swung his legs around to face Y/N. Erik leans forward on his knees, staring at the wig with a steady blink.

“What size is that shit anyway? You know I have locs so...how the hell is that supposed to fit on my head?”

“I’ll just...fit it over that pineapple on top of your head.”

“Jokes,” Erik reached up and took out the elastic band that held his tapered locs. Shaking his head, his locs fell over his eyes, “I’m not putting that on my head.”

“Not even for me?” Y/N pouts, “Not your favorite girl?”

“I know you, Y/N. You’re gonna put that shit on my head, take a picture, and post it. I’m not falling for the shit. I told you that.”

“Whatever. You got a big ass dome anyway and this wig is average size.”

“Now you’re tryna clown me?” Erik said with a half smirk on his full lips flashing a bit of his gold canines.

“It’s like...mad wide from front to back...no wonder you keep your hair long—”

“I know you ain’t talking shit with that ginormous ass forehead, girl.”

“I thought you said all the fine girls got big foreheads?” Y/N bat her lashes at Erik.

“That’s what’s helping you out. First time I saw you I was thinking damn, this bitch got a big ass forehead. And don’t think I forgot about how you played me when you sent that cropped picture.”

“Boy, fuck you!!” Y/N shouted over Erik’s laughter.

“I was—I was looking at the picture like where the rest of her face go?!”

Y/N glared at Erik as he dissolved into laughter.

“It’s really not that funny. Now are you gonna help me or not?!”

“Aight, I’ll do it this one time.” Erik sat up with one hand resting against his abdomen while the other wiped away tears, “Where do you want me?”

“On the floor between my legs, DUH where the fuck else would you be?”

He began dying laughing again from Y/N’s obvious annoyance. Erik took his place on the floor while Y/N climbed behind him onto the bed with each leg dangling on either side of him. Y/N takes the wig from the mannequin and before she placed it on Erik she tilted his head back more for easier access. Grabbing the half-done wig, Y/N fluffed out the ends before arranging it over Erik’s locs. Even at their short length it was a challenge to fit the wig the way she needed it.

“Can you PLEASE keep still?” Y/N prompted.

“I’m not even moving. This wig just don’t fit.”

Y/N applied force and wiggled it over his locs causing Erik’s head to rock back and forth aggressively. He growled before reaching behind him to grab her hands. The wig looked much shorter on him in the back from how prominent his back and shoulders are. Erik turned to face her with his lips tight and face frowned, the wig making him look ridiculous and silly. Y/N folded her lips into her mouth but the urge to laugh caused her cheeks to puff out.

“If only you knew how tight my fucking head feels right now. I can’t even smile without this shit feeling like my scalp is being pulled. This better come off when we’re done or that’s your ass.”

“Erik, turn around. I only have one section to do and then you’re free. Next time, don’t ask me to help you with shit if you’re gonna act like this.”

Erik sucked his teeth and faced forward so Y/N could continue. He lowered his head so she could work on the back area.

“Can I ask you something, babe?” Y/N said.

“What?” Erik replied.

“Do you mind modeling this for me—”

“See, I knew this shit—”

Erik stood up before Y/N could wrap her arms around him. He walked over to the full body mirror in her room to look at himself and that’s when he couldn’t hold back his own laughter.

“Yo, what the fuck do you have on my head!” Erik played with the strands while turning his head from side to side, “I look like James Brown, AYE!!!!”

Y/N was in stitches when he mimicked James Brown in the mirror. She fell back against her bed hollering from the way he looked.

“Nah, I’m not drunk right now I need to be drunk to enjoy this,” Erik leaned into the mirror, “I look better than half the bitches that come in here to get their hair done. Let me find out.”

“You are so STUPID!!!!” Y/N yelled between giggles.

“I’ll be back,” Erik left the room with the wig swaying from side to side since it wasn’t fully secure.

“Where are you going?!” Y/N shouted from the bed.

Erik didn’t respond to her loud voice. When he returned two minutes later he had a cup in one hand and his bottle of Hennessy in the other. Erik sat both the cup and the bottle on Y/N’s cluttered dresser to make himself a drink.

“This was supposed to be a quick thing now you’re drinking.”

Y/N watched Erik from her relaxed spot on the bed. Erik took two sips of his drink before standing in front of her mirror again.

“What are you doing?!”

Y/N couldn’t even finish her words when Erik started shimmying his shoulders and snapping his fingers to a soundless beat. Hooting with laughter Y/N could feel wetness on her cheeks.

“IM DONE!!!”

“This shit give bad bitches super powers.” Erik said

“Let me find out you wanna wear a weave now.” Y/N jokes.

Erik brought his cup to his lips and drank more Hennessy while moving his hips. This was too good not to get a video. With Erik being his usual silly self, Y/N snatched up her phone from the floor before pulling up her Instagram to record him. On her story, Y/N focused the camera on her boyfriend when he started singing the lyrics to Lady Marmalade.

“Gitchi gitchi, ya ya, da da. Gitchi gitchi, ya ya, here!!”

“Oh my God!!” Y/N cried out with a chuckle before ending the video. She uploaded it to her story before quickly tossing her phone towards the end of the bed.

“Creole Lady Marmalade!!!!!!!!”

“You hardly had anything to drink and you’re acting like this? Lord.”

“Aight, I’m done for now,” Erik made his way back over to Y/N with his cup, “put on a movie or something.”

“Ohhhhhh!!! So you’re asking me to pick this time?! I get to make a decision, Erik?! Wowwwwwwwww!!!”

“Girl, shut up.”

Y/N chose a random movie for background noise while she finished. She was surprised at how content he was and it made her consider asking him to help more in the future. It was fun and it made her laugh. That’s one thing about Erik that she adores. He matches her sense of humor. Y/N heard a vibration and when she glanced over to look at her phone the screen is still black. Between her legs she could see Erik staring at a text message from his Lock Screen

“What the fuck is this nigga talking ‘bout.”

“Erik keep still—”

“Nigga who is Miss Man?!”

Y/N paused to peer over Erik’s shoulder.

“This nigga just called me Miss Man from Scary Movie.”

Erik tapped on the microphone on his keyboard to speak.

“Who the fuck randomly texts somebody that at 11 PM? Fucking weirdo ass nigga. Let me find out you want Miss Man for yourself.”

“Who is Miss Man— OH! The PE teacher that was sniffing the underwear?!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!”

“This nigga...he said all you need is the underwear, skirt, nails, and makeup—wait.”

“And some long ass balls!!” Y/N snickered.

Erik whipped his head around and when Y/N met his fiery eyes she swallowed her laugh and it left an uncomfortable lump in her throat.

“Did you post me online wearing this wig, Y/N?”

“No.”

“I’m gonna ask you again. Did you post me online in this wig?

“Mm—mm. I did no such thing.”

“Then let me see your phone.”

Erik reached out for Y/N’s phone but she snatched it away. Erik moved his head to the side to flip some of the wig hair form his face but it fell forward again disobeying him.

“Did I? Uhhhh—OKAY OKAY!!”

It happened so fast. Erik has Y/N by the waist and up in the air.

“Yes, I did!! I’ll delete it.”

“You don’t listen to shit I tell you to do—”

“It was cute! You looked cute with it on—”

“You know what’s about to happen right?! I told you not to do that shit!”

“Erik, it’s all in fun. I’ll get rid of it—”

“That shit is embarrassing! What if I posted you online at your worse?���

“I don’t have a bad moment I always look good.” Y/N sasses.

“Says the girl that always complains about me taking off guard pics.”

“Erik, you’re not even at your worse. You act like I posted you looking bummy!”

Y/N kept her word and went to Instagram to delete. When she got there, she was met with at least ten DMs replying to her story.

Corythemua_: gurllll who is that? 👀 ooooh he is fione!!! Is he into guys?

Jermaine_87: Wtf is he doing?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 let me text this nigga

Katriceee: how did you convince him to do this?! LOL

Amethyst1993: when he find out about this you are in trouble girl!!!

“did you delete the video yet?! Don’t let me find out it’s still there!”

“It’s gone! Happy?! What happened to being in a playing mood?!!”

“Now all my friends texting me and clowning me! You play too many games. Hurry up and help me take this shit off!”

Erik brushed some strands from his lips with his fingertips and Y/N squealed. Nothing he could say or do would make her listen. He looked absolutely hilarious with the wavy tresses of the wig moving in tandem with his brawny physique.

“Erik, I can’t take you seriously with that wig on.”

“Then take this off!!”

Erik attempts to pull it off but suddenly stops when he realizes he needs help.

“I want this shit off now, Y/N.”

“FINE! Come here.”

Y/N tapped the floor with her foot for Erik to take a seat. When he does, Y/N does the opposite of what he asks and begins to place his hair into two buns. She silently laughed behind him, praying that he wouldn’t hear her falling apart. When she was finished, Erik assumed she was done because he didn’t feel the hair tickling his skin. When he stood up to look in the mirror, Erik groaned loudly at his appearance before flexing his jaw at her threateningly to make her listen. It didn’t work at all for him. She couldn’t stop laughing.

“You look so crazy!!!!!” Y/N hugged her sides and rolled on the bed with laughter, “And that evil look is making it even funnier!!”

“I’m about to beat your ass if you don’t take this shit off!!! It wouldn’t be funny if this shit stuck now would it?!!! I gotta go to work and all that nah take this off—

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“Aight, are you finished?!” Erik said impatiently.

“Baby...you don’t understand...oh my God.”

“Y/N, for real, take this dumb ass wig off before I cut it off!”

“Okay okay!! Before I do...you gotta do one last thing for me...pretty please? With caramel sauce and a cherry on top? I’ll do whatever you want if you do this last thing for me.”

“.....”

“PLEASE BABY?!!”

“.....”

“Erik, look, it’ll be funny! I just want you to cat walk for me and then I’m done—”

“Ahhhhh HELL no—”

“Please—”

“For what?! So you can keep laughing?!”

“I’ll suck your dick, lick your balls—”

“Girl, that won’t work on me—”

“You sure about that?”

Y/N poked her tongue out and started doing tricks with it to show off her tongue ring. Erik’s eyes squinted at her but she could tell from his breathing that he wouldn’t be able to fight it much longer. He even said so himself that her head game makes him weak and no woman before her has ever made him weak.

“...from here to the bed and that’s it.”

Y/N smiled victoriously.

Erik placed his hands on his tapered waistline before lowering his head. Y/N could hear him silently laughing to himself before he lifted his head displaying an adorable dimpled smile. He started strutting towards Y/N with stiff hips and two left feet. All this from her flicking her tongue. Y/N stared at him with her mouth hanging open and eyes wide. He had a focused look on his face and the wig with its two buns flopped up and down messily like bunny ears. He struck a pose with his hip jutted out before he started to vogue. At that point, Y/N couldn’t take it any longer. She had to grab onto Erik so she could catch her breath. Soon, Erik’s deep laugh could be heard.

“You get on my nerves,” Erik sat beside Y/N, “now, can you take this off of me?!”

“Turn around,” Y/N took down the buns before carefully sliding the wig off from front to back, “You’re off the hook after that I’m gonna go back to using this mannequin head.”

“Yeah, finish up so I can spank that ass for posting me on social media.”

Y/N did a double take, “I’m still in trouble?!”

“Yeah, you’re not off the hook.”

The remaining time Y/N finished her clients wig, she thought up all possible ways he could punish her this time.

“Can I have a kiss?” Y/N asked with a sweet sounding voice.

“Yes,” Erik poked his thick, moist lips out and Y/N pressed her soft lips against them.

“Mmm...still in trouble, ma,” Erik whispered.

[starbuckie]

𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤

challenge: time travel challenge by @justagirlinafandomworld​

prompt: “we’re divorced?” 

pairing: sirius black x reader

words: 5.7k words

warnings: FOURTH WALL BREAK!!(sorry im very excited about that), lots of angst, almost smut(hehe), sirius lowkey has a breeding kink, sirius is an asshole for a bit, the smallest bit of fluff, fix-it, and the same time travel theory as back to the future

summary: an unnatural occurrence lets a woman go back in time to try and change everything she’s known for the past twenty years.

a/n: wow, i normally don’t write for harry potter so this was a nice change. anyways, this is for yvette’s time travel writing challenge, and everybody say HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVETTE! i’m so sorry this is late, it got deleted and i needed to re-edit, but i truly appreciate your friendship and your lovely, amazingly beautiful self, and I’m so so glad that we became friends :)  this fic is not beta-read at all, so if you see any mistakes tell me, but otherwise i really hope you enjoy this fic<3

main masterlist || harry potter masterlist

It still wasn’t over. After all she had lost, more specifically everyone she had lost, and the shitty cycle that she had to call her life, it still wasn’t over. The people she had watched the life drain from, the screams of those suffering from the loss caused by the Dark Lord, and yet life still hadn’t had its fill of torturing Y/N. Grimmauld Place felt empty without the kids, without the Weasleys, but they had gone back to their home and soon enough she would have to as well. Harry had gone back to Hogwarts with Dumbledore, though she’d argued to hold onto him just a bit longer after-

After Sirius had died. 

Time had passed, maybe two or three weeks, but no matter what the woman couldn’t bring herself to get out of Sirius’ old bedroom, simply staring at the ceiling with her tears at bay. Her and Sirius had been a complicated thing, to say the least, a topic nobody had brought up since 1983, when she had banned it. Not as if there was much to talk about after the divorce and Sirius going to Azkaban. After Lily and James had died, after she had fought with Dumbledore for custody of Harry, after she had become a professor at Beauxbatons and moved to France without a second thought. Sirius had been locked up after he’d hurt her in the worst possible way, and Y/N’s heartbroken soul found no other reason to return to England. 

But, she pushed those bad memories to the back of her mind. It seemed so trivial, looking back on it. Not the broken house, of course, that had been his own mistake. But Y/N had many regrets, all of them seeming to revolve around the mischievous black-haired man who she had fallen in love with as a teen. The night it went down, the night their relationship had fractured at the seams and fallen down, was her greatest one however. It had been so stupid, so, so stupid, but they’d both gotten caught up in the moment, and Y/N had let him die without knowing how much she was sorry for that night that they let their fears consume them. 

The cries that she had tried so hard to contain finally broke free from the restraints of her heart. “I’m so sorry, Siri,” she whispered into the air, “I couldn’t save you this time.” As the hot, salty tears ran down her cheeks, Y/N shuffled across the room, letting her feet drag her to the old Black family room, the dark green walls embracing her rainy emotions. 

A little gasp escaped her lips as she looked at the portraits among the wall. The Black family tree was faded along the age-old wall, but what she was really looking for was the burned out image of her raven-haired love. There, right next to Regulus, was a black spot, scorned and scarred by the prestigious family for being a blood traitor. Y/N smiled and traced the burn with her finger, remembering their fourth year when she had accompanied him home for the holidays so he wouldn’t be completely alone in the hellhole he had to call his house. Sirius had snuck them up to this room and spent the night talking in hushed whispers sworn secrets. “I’ll be yours forever, Siri, and I’m sorry for fighting with you. I wish-” she sniffled, glaring at the spot in the wall as she tried to garble out her words, “I wish, I could go back in time, and just fix it. Just me and you, and that stupid night, with the bloody fight about children because you deserve it all, darling.”

“Ah, I think you can.” 

Y/N turned around, her eyes wide with fear. That was not Kreacher’s voice. There stood a younger woman, around nineteen, a scroll of paper and a quill in her hand. There was a whisper of a smirk on her face, brown eyes glittering even in the dimness in the room. “Who the hell are you?” Y/N looked at the door, which was still closed as she left it. She cast her wand out, pointing it at the stranger who did nothing but smile. “How did you get in here? Are you with the Lord?”

“With Voldemort?” The woman simply laughed. “Dude, I’m not with ‘the Lord’,” she added with air quotations. “Also I’m not really even here, so don’t you worry about that. My name’s Malia.”

Malia held her hand out, but Y/N kept her guard up. “You’re American. What brings you here? Are you a muggle?”

“Oh, nope, not a wizard, I’m just the author of this story.” Malia confided. “I’m here to tell you that you can fix this.”

“Fix… what?” Malia just rolled her eyes and sighed, staring up towards the ceiling as she spoke.

“God, did I write you to be hard of hearing now, too? I ought to fix that when I get back.” The woman blankly stared at the strange girl, wondering what the actual fuck she was talking about. “I can give you the chance to go back in time, Y/N. It won’t be for long, it’s really not gonna be interesting for more than two hours at most, but that should be enough time to tell the gang about what’s to come with Voldemort.”

“Like... time travel?” Y/N asked. The only way she knew how to time travel was the time turners. “But all of the ti-”

“Time turners were destroyed in the Department of Mysteries, I know, I know. Trust me, I’ve read Harry Potter more times than I’ve said ‘I love you’ to my parents.” Malia smiled. “I’m the author, I make the rules, and my rule is that I’m giving you two hours in 1978 to talk to Sirius so he can fix the emotional fucking mess left behind by J.K. Rowling.”

“Who’s J.K. Rowling?” Malia shuddered at the name.

“A raggedy-ass, transphobic bitch who wrote y’all into existence, but she’s not of importance right now.” She checked the small, rectangular box in her hand, which glowed and provided little light in the darkened room. “Let’s see, it’s currently eleven-forty, so you have until one-forty to find the Marauders and fix this future. It may not be fixed in the books in the future, but if you are able to do it here that’s all that matters.” Malia’s brown eyes were downcast, her bright and loud personality dimming for just a moment before returning to Y/N’s confused gaze once more. “Try not to screw up too much while you’re there, just enough that you defeat the Dark Lord the first time. Tell Sirius all you know and that should be enough for him to fix all the mistakes, but do not under any circumstances let him or anyone else know who you are. I wish you luck, Y/N, it was nice to meet ya in person.” 

And with a peace sign in front of her face, she disappeared into a flash of neon pink light. 

“Bloody hell! Fix my future? Talk to Sirius? If this even is time travel, then how am I supposed to get there- AH!” Y/N’s body felt like it was turning inside out, her guts being torn from her stomach and back into it again. A delirious giggle arose from her lips in the black void she was pulled into, and a soft chatter could be heard, like voices at the end of a tunnel. 

“Blimey, looks like we got ourselves a nutter on school grounds.” Y/N’s arms flailed around, desperately seeking some sort of grounding surface to hold on to when her back hit a rough surface. There was an audible crack somewhere in her body, but she felt so sick that she couldn’t tell where. 

“Are you okay, ma’am? You just appeared from the sky and hit the ground.” Warm, brown eyes met Y/N’s, a familiar mess of black curls resting atop of the boy’s head. Large, rounded glasses sat perched on the tip of his nose, and an impish smile, one she used to know so well before he died, met his lips. 

“James,” she sighed. The boy stared at her strangely, and only then did she notice the three other boys and girls each behind them. Remus, Peter, Sirius, Lily, Marlene, and Alice. 

Sirius.

The sight that met her eyes made her nearly emotional. It had technically been only three weeks since she had seen him, but here was the young boy she had fallen in love with. The one who charmed her with his smart words and witty retorts to her brush-offs, who used to hold her in his arms in the most intimate and gentle ways. His grey eyes sparkled with curiosity, the infamous Marauder mischief swirling within the silvery pools.  

Seeing him so young tugged at her heartstrings, and though she wanted nothing more than to hold him in her arms and never let go, a small, niggling feeling at the back of her head held her back. Was there something wrong?

“You know me?” Oh right, she was currently thirty-five. Looking around she noticed that she was outside the quidditch pitch, and there were other students, staring at her with widened eyes. No one knew she was Y/N L/N, their fellow schoolmate and probably one of the very few of them that survived the Death Eaters attacks. None of them were aware how it ended, or how it was currently going for them back in 1996, and in this time there was the first Wizarding War going on and they had every right to be terrified for their lives.

James now took a more defensive stance, standing tall and holding his wand out. “Who are you?”

She couldn’t give him the answer, instead letting her mouth gape open as she stared at him with wide eyes. Y/N looked across the grounds for the nearest exit, which was down by Hagrid’s hut and into the Forbidden Forest. It was her only choice at this point, to hide in the dark, creepy space, maybe just until the students went away so she could find Sirius and talk to him alone. It’d be hard to separate him from the boys, but if Lily were occupied with James it sure would be easy. 

Her younger, seventh-year self didn’t seem to be in the audience, thank Merlin, and with that knowledge, she got up and ran, ignoring her screaming muscles. That time travel really did a number on her. 

As she ran through the crowd, shoving people aside, she heard the students mutter, too much in shock and disarray to stop the crazy, old woman who knew James Potter.

“This is dodgy.”

“Someone ought to tell Dumbledore about this.”

“She kinda looks like Y/N L/N.’

“Don’t insult the poor girl like that, that wonker is ages old.”

“Come back here! Who the bloody hell are you?” Y/N’s heart beat quickly in her chest, threatening to burst out. Only three minutes in the past and it was all going straight to shit. “Stupefy!”

Shit. “No, James, please don’t-“ Her body hit the ground and her eyes closed, the last thing she saw being the pumpkin patch by the hut.

-

“I see you’re awake now, Ms. L/N.” Dumbledore stood above Y/N in the hospital ward bed, his grey beard dangling in front of her face. Her first instinct was to start blaming him for everything that had happened, starting from Lily and James’ deaths to Sirius’, already opening her mouth to call him an old, senile cow, but then she realized that Harry hadn’t been sent to the Dursleys yet, much less been born yet, so none of it would have an effect on him. Y/N’s second instinct was to question how Dumbledore knew who she was in 1978, but her former Headmaster started to speak before she could do so. “I must admit, it’s very courageous, that stunt you just pulled. I don’t think Ms. Louie will be too happy about that.” Y/N sent him a questioning stare. “Malia, the girl you met earlier. Malia Louie.”

“Headmaster Dumbledore, how did you know it was me?” She was dressed in a white gown that went to her knees, and behind him she could see her blouse and jeans folded and clean. Ah, the Hospital Wing. She had brought the boys here more times than she could count in her years at Hogwarts. “I don’t exactly look as young as I used to.”

“Ah, don’t worry Ms. L/N, you’ve kept your good looks quite nicely, even in your older age.” He stroked his beard thoughtfully, his wrinkled eyes sparkling with joy. “And speaking of young, if you are still worrying yourself about your younger self, you can put that to a stop. I am aware that you are not able to tell anyone who you are, and time travel is exceptionally dangerous if you are seen by the other version of yourself. I’ve already told the students that you were just a stray witch, misguided in your ways and that you were well taken care of. However, I think that brings us to the question of what your intentions are in the past, Ms. L/N.”

“Headmaster, I don’t think I can tell you about my business here. I’ve already messed up by letting the school see me by letting everyone see me, I don’t know why that girl even sent me here, it’s clear that this was a mistake.” Y/N sat up on the headboard, feeling her eyes fill with tears once again. The tall arches of windows let the sun in the room, and she could see the specks of dust swirling around in the golden light. It had to be close to the end of the year for them, maybe sometime around April or May, near the end of N.E.W.T.s at least. She could imagine that it’d be easy for her to get out of Hogwarts for the day, with all the students studying for the stressful exams in the library, maybe she'd make her way to Hogsmeade and walk around or visit Hagrid under a false name to have some tea. He was always open for a nice cuppa with strangers on any free day he had. “Thank you Headmaster, for your kindness, but I really ought to be going. I-it was nice to see you.”

Y/N started to help herself out of the bed, swinging her feet over to touch the cool stone ground. Bones cracked with pain and fatigue, her muscles stretching sluggishly. Merlin, that she was not expecting that much hurt from the fall, but she should have never underestimated James Potter. No one ever should if they want to keep their good mind and sanity. 

Dumbledore handed her her clothes, cracked lips set in a straight line as he nodded solemnly. “I hope you accomplish whatever it is you are here to do, Ms. L/N, but I have no doubt that you will.” With a sly wink, he added, “You were always one of our most ardent and bright students.”

Y/N let herself smile, and with a wave, swiftly brought herself to the door. “Thank you, Headmaster.”

After slipping outside, she ran down the corridors, echoes of her feet ringing lightly behind her. The courtyard proved to be empty and she quickly ducked behind a column and tugged her jeans on hastily, making sure that no professors came walking past. Though the sky proved to be bright and cheerful, a slight breeze carried through, making her fall off balance and fall on the cemented ground. 

“Are you okay, darling? You look like you’re in need of a little help.” Y/N looked up to the speaking figure, one that she both loved and dreaded to see. 

She gathered herself quickly, her mind running fast and heart beating out of her chest as she tried to get out. “Yes, I am okay, thank you for asking. I think I’ll just get up and going now, I don’t need to take time out of your day like this-”

“I know who you are, Y/N.” 

Y/N came to a full stop, going against her brain that screamed at her to run away. Sirius looked downtrodden, his grey eyes watering despite the small hint of a smirk on his face. Though he was always one for playing around and not taking anything seriously, she knew when it was time to stop pretending and get real. “How’d you know it was me, Sirius?”

“You really don’t look bad for your age, darling.” He offered her a hand to help her up and she took it graciously, eyeing him nearly guiltily and forgetting about her promise to Y/N. But that was useless now, this moment with her first love was much more important. “Also you have the tattoo on your chest. I knew it was you the moment you landed on school grounds.”

She traced his gaze to her left collarbone, where a paw print, just barely visible beneath her low-cut blouse, sat. It was his, or Snuffles’, paw print, and at this point in time they had probably gotten it done about three months before. He had one for her too, a horseshoe for her horse patronus, right on his left side of his chest too. So they’d always be right next to each other’s hearts, as cheesy as it seemed.

But they were dumb, lovesick teenagers, and they acted the part well too. Their love was all-consuming, shagging in under the bleachers at the quidditch pitch and making out under the stars. It was fast, everything was fast, decisions, ideas, classes, all of them under the impression that they had to do everything right then or they’d be dead before they got to actually live. They had dreams of marriage, and a big, big family, obviously so far away from his family so they could never hurt their children’s lives the way they had hurt his. 

They were fantasies, Y/N had known that well enough when she and Sirius got divorced, but it was something that eighteen year-old Sirius Black held close to his heart. No matter how shitty his life got, he was always a firm believer in a happy ending. In their happy ending. 

“How am I right now?” They now stood over the Black Lake, staring into the glittering depths of the water where some mermaids could be seen sneaking peeks at the handsome boy and the strange lady who had fallen from the sky. 

Sirius stared at her questioningly for a moment. “How are you doing right now? I mean, I believe that I should be asking you that ques- oh, Merlin, I’m such a git, you meant your younger self.” Y/N laughed at that, her heart lifting with the goofiness of the old Sirius relieving an ache in her heart that she had had for so long. Not that old (it felt weird to say that) Sirius had been anything less than silly and snarky, but it was never directed towards her. It was nice to have the resemblance of their old relationship back, even if it was just for a fleeting moment. “I suppose that you’re okay. You didn’t see, well, your big moment on the field, but at this point Lily has probably opened her big, fat mouth and told you. N.E.W.T.s are just finishing up, so you’re much more light-hearted than during the study season.”

“I really did have a stick up my arse during exam time, you always told me to loosen up-” 

“Y/N, cut out the small talk, I think it’s okay for me to ask how and what is happening.” Sirius cut in.

So she told him. Y/N had always been upfront with people about everything. Or rather, she had learned how to be upfront with people after her and Sirius’ divorce. Without details of the deaths, she explained how she was sent back into the past to fix it in some conceivable way. However, she did tell him about the fall out. Maybe she wanted him to understand her pain, even though it was a younger him, but she had to admit to herself that it was because she just wanted Sirius, in whatever form life gave her to hear out her grievances and apologies. 

Since her Sirius was dead before she could.

“We’re divorced?” Sirius looked about ready to break down into tears, almost as if the concept of them breaking up or separating was foreign to him. “What exactly did we fight over, Y/N? That doesn’t seem normal for the two of us.” Sirius asked.

“Well, to be fair, it wasn’t a normal predicament for us. either…”

Sirius slammed the door shut, efficiently pinning her against it with his white button up ruffled up, navy tie hanging from his neck loosely. Y/N’s arms were held down tightly against the oak wood, the sensation of the cold door burning into her rather warm skin making her squeal. Her husband’s tongue worked its way through her parted lips, low groans rising from the back of his throat from the way she moaned in tandem with his hips pushing into hers. Legs wrapped around his tapered waist, the pink, floral skirt Y/N wore rising high on her thighs, revealing more of her flesh to the lust-filled man. Both of their giggles echoed off the hallway walls of their small cottage home, just four miles west of their best friends’. 

As the twenty year-old man threw his wife unceremoniously on the bed, he shed himself of his shirt and swiftly unbuttoned his slacks, throwing them haphazardly across the room. Merlin, Y/N looked ethereal laying spread out on the bed, panties around her left ankle, swollen lips parted with short puffs of air leaving them. “You just get right down to business, don’t you, Black.” 

Crawling over his body, his hot breath hit her neck as he growled against her skin. “Could say the same thing about you, darling.” Sirius’ lips made their way down every inch, every curve, nook, and cranny of Y/N’s body, smoothly slipping her clothes off as he did so. Her sweet gasps filled the bedroom, back arching off the bed to meet his chest. “I’m going to put a baby in you tonight, sweetheart, we’re-”

Y/N sat up straight, her eyebrows trained in confusion at her husband. “What? A baby?” 

Sirius’ heart pounded in his chest. “Yes.” He remarked in a clipped tone. “Is that not what you wanted?” 

Her mind recalled her words from earlier that day, as she chatted happily with Lily about the news of her pregnancy. “Siri, I said I may one day enjoy having a kid of my own. Not right now, of course, but later. After all, we only got married a few months ago, don’t you think we should hold off a bit on that? We’re twenty years-old, Siri, there’s so many years for that.”

Rage filled Sirius’ blood like a spreading fire. In all honesty, it wasn’t so much about his anger as it was his hurt and fear. Fear that she had realized how fucked up he truly was, fear that she realized what he had known all along- that she deserved better than him. “So you don’t want a baby with me?”

“I never said I didn’t want that, Sirius, I just said that I’m not ready!” Y/N yelled back. At this point both of them stood on opposite sides of the bed, faces hot with tears. “We’re in the middle of a bloody war, people we know, people we love, have lost their lives, and it is not the ideal environment to raise a child, Sirius! Just because James and Lily are ready to have one doesn’t mean that I am too!”

“When will you be ready, Y/N? When will it ever be enough time for you? When will I be enough for you?” The heartbroken girl tried to interject, but her voice was cut off by her husband’s quickly enough. Sirius climbed onto the bed, holding her chin harshly with one hand. “Tell me, did you ever want to be with me in the first place?”

“Yes, Sirius, of course I wanted to be with you.” His heart hurt looking at the love of his life in tears, but even that was able to melt his cold facade. “I love you more than anything in the world.” 

“Then fucking prove it, Y/N.” With that declaration, he removed his hand from her face and gathered his clothes, slamming everything in their shared room as Y/N quivered, knees ready to buckle on the spot. “I’m going out, don’t wait up for me.”  

As soon as the front door shut, she fell to the ground in tears, the laughter that once filled their home replaced with the sound of her shattered heart. 

Y/N had done her best to not tear up during her explanation of the events that had taken that night, but Sirius' eyes watered, refusing to believe the truth. “No. No. I didn’t do that. Y/N, tell me,” he gripped her biceps with trembling hands, “please tell me I didn’t really do that. I can’t believe that I-I, that I-”

“You were drunk, Sirius, I don’t think you truly knew what you were saying at the time.” She sighed, “But people always say that drunken words are just sober thoughts.” Y/N rubbed her arms, just shivering slightly in the Scotland breeze. “You came back two hours later punching the wall and breaking it, and that’s when I knew that we wouldn’t last.” 

The raven-haired boy’s head started to shake, even more mortified of the actions that his future self, the man he’d be in just two years' time, had done. “I packed up my things, not that there were many, we’d only moved into the house a month before, left, and I sent the divorce papers a week later. It was probably better that way, you would’ve divorced me if I hadn’t done it first.” Y/N had gotten used to telling her sob story to colleagues at Beauxbatons, to her family, but it felt different with pre-divorce Sirius. Of course, she had never thought she’d be in this citation either, so no one could really blame her for feeling weird. “You signed them easily, and my lawyer made sure that I never had to see you again.”  Until Lily and James died.

“Until…” Sirius led on.

“Merlin’s beard, Sirius, you’ve always been able to read my mind. Shouldn’t have doubted it for a second.” He smiled at the sentiment, gesturing for her to continue. “I can’t tell you, Sirius, I hope you can understand that.”

“Why, Y/N, what happens that can be any worse in the future?” Oh dear, Sirius, you really do not want the answer to that question. She needed any way out of this conversation, after all running away was what she did best, and her eyes already searched for several routes to which she could run. Not that Y/N could ever outrun Sirius in his animagus form, but it was nice to have the belief that she could. The boy sensed her distress and grabbed hold of her hand. “You don’t have to tell me, darling, but I have to admit that I am a bit worried, just in the slightest.”

Y/N let herself calm down, squeezing Sirius’ hand and noticing his watch. She had actually given him that watch, gold-plated and dark grey metal, but it wasn’t the beauty of the gift that caught her eye, but rather the actual time on it. One-thirty. 

How had that much time gone by so quickly? She was going to be sucked into the black void of time travel again in ten minutes, and that wasn’t nearly enough time to unload nearly twenty years worth of history onto Sirius. No, he would go insane from that much knowledge, which was exactly against what Malia had advised. 

“I don’t have enough time to tell you everything that happens in the future, Sirius. But what I am about to tell you is vital, absolutely vital for the good of all of us in the future.” Sirius nodded with a serious sort of smile on his face. “Don’t let Peter be Lily and James’ secret keeper. When the time comes that they move away, I’m not going to tell you where yet, do not under any circumstances let Peter be their secret keeper. I know he’s one of our best friends right now, and do not tell anyone about this, but he’s going to betray us in the worst way possible.” 

While Sirius was shocked, he nodded solemnly and ran a hand through his long hair. “I won’t tell anyone, Y/N. Can I fix us, Y/N? I don’t know if you should be letting the key to a happier future rest in my hands.”

“I full heartedly trust that you’ll do some good, whatever the outcome may be. As for fixing us, I hope you can, but depending on what happens we’ll just have to wait and see.” She sighed, “If you want my opinion on it, I think that we both should have waited longer to get married. It was right after James and Lily got married, but we aren’t and never will be them. We both had a lot of growing up to do, so I would take it slowly. Communicate your wants and needs in the relationship and in the end it may not even be us together. But I know you, Siri, don’t let this get in the way of your entire life. The most important part is that you tell James and Lily about Peter.”  

She glanced back up the school grounds where students could start to be seen leaving their classes. “You better get back to the castle, Sirius. McGonagall is going to come for your arse and this time the boys aren’t going to be able to cover for you.”

“If they knew where I was, darling, I don’t even think they’d believe me.” Sirius chuckled.

Y/N nodded in agreement and pulled Sirius into a tight hug. “You can do this, sweetheart, and even if you can’t, it will not stop me from loving you any less. Maybe the future wasn’t meant to be changed, but regardless of whether that is true or not, I know that you will try your hardest, Sirius. Just try not to die, okay?”

The boy was still clutching onto her tightly, his tears soaking her rose-colored blouse. “I’ll do my best, darling.”

With one last kiss on the forehead, she smiled at him. “I know you will, Siri.” 

-

Y/N’s arse hit the floor once again, her spine cracking once again. “What’s the year?” She yelled out, reaching for the walls of the black family room. 

But it wasn’t there. Upon opening her eyes, she saw James, Lily, and Sirius sitting at a wooden table in her old white cottage. A nice tea set, her grandmother’s as she realized later, sat in the center, along with a large stack of letters. “Y/N, what the bloody hell happened to you, I’ve been worried sick!” 

Her red-headed best friend scurried over to her, brushing invisible dirt off her shoulders and pulling her up abruptly. James fixed the glasses on his nose, cleaning them off with his striped jumper. “You look a little disheveled right now, Y/N, what ran you over?” 

“You know who she reminds me of right now, Jamie? That crazy witch friend of Dumbledore’s that made her way onto campus back in seventh year.” Lily giggled as she hugged Y/N.

“Merlin’s beard, you’re right!” James walked over to the woman of the hour, ruffling her hair with a smirk on his face. “If you were about twenty years older I’d have no trouble believing you were the same person.”

While Lily and James recalled their memories from the strange woman all those years ago at Hogwarts, Sirius pulled Y/N aside, an arm wrapped around her waist. The warmth radiating from his body was nice, embracing her in a comfort she hadn’t felt in so long.

“I’m going to go ahead and believe that I did something right?” Sirius grabbed her hand, and only then did she notice the coolness of metal sitting on her left ring finger. There sat the single band of gold, a small ruby encased in its plating. She had once joked that diamonds were too overrated, and he went out and got her the most vibrant gem he could find, claiming that it was just like her. But regardless of its shape, size, or type of gem, it was there.

“Yeah, Siri,” Y/N replied with tears in her eyes, “you did good.” 

“Oi, Blacks, stop making out and get over here, we got a letter from Minnie!” James yelled, making both wives chuckle. “Harry’s gotten himself in detention for punching Malfoy again.”

“Oh, thank Merlin, the boy deserves a few more good hits.” Sirius laughed. 

“McGonagall still talks to us?” Y/N asked in amazement. “You’ve got to get me caught up.”

“Don’t worry, darling, we’ve got all the time in the world.” Sirius gently placed his lips onto hers, and for once in nearly twenty years, Y/N felt at peace. There were no more hasty warnings of the future, no psychotic old men coming after her family, no young girls rushing in to tell her how to fix her screwed up life. Cracked, pink lips moving against her own, his tongue delving into her mouth, and Y/N knew she was finally off the clock.

[neeswords]

JAY HALSTEAD IMAGINE

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested?: yes

Word count: 2794

Authors notes: I hope you enjoy it. If you would like a personalised one please do ask! have fun reading! I have also a promt list :)

Trigger warning(s): mention of death, swearing, violence 

Summary: jay seems to always take Hailey's side one everything. Hailey always seems to come first. A trauma takes place and jay realises the reality.

Prompt: request.

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Since Hailey had received a job offer from the FBI Jay had become really close with her, so close then he was pushing away his own actual girlfriend. It wasn't just y/n who noticed this though Atwater asked y/n one evening at molly's if her and Jay had broken up. 

Y/n loved Hailey and she thought she was so good to Jay. Maybe too good to him. When Jay got shot one time y/n was sat in the waiting room and Hailey and Vanessa were there and she heard a convocation she wish she could unhear. 

'you love him' Vanessa said to Hailey.

'Of course I love him he's my partner' was the response. 

This broke Y/n heart a little as she knew at that point that if she wasn't in the equation Jay would be in absolute awe of Hailey. Who was y/n anyways? Everyone would prefer a beautiful blonde greek badass cop. 

Y/n worked with a law firm, in fact that's how she met Jay. She was a criminal defence attorney she met Jay in an interrogation room whilst defending her client. Jay later asked for her number and one thing led to another. 

At some points she wishes she never picked up that phone call.

'Y/n if your gonna start then leave, Hailey would be so fine wi-' Jay yet again started comparing y/n to Hailey. Y/n was pissed off that Jay kept staying out late with Hailey. 

Thats all it took. Y/n lost it. "GET THE FUCK OUT AND GO BE WITH HER THEN" Y/n was fuming she was so tired of being compared to Hailey. Her own boyfriend who was meant to love her and only her was clearly in love with another woman.

"y/n come on what's going on with you? Since I've been shot you've been so different around me. Talk to me baby" Jay was so soothing. He gently approached y/n and gently placed some hair behind her ear. 

Y/n refused to even look at him. I guess you could say that she reached her breaking point. She had given up on him. Jay went to kiss her as a way of saying 'I love you' but she turned her head before he had the chance. As much as it hurt her, y/n had to leave. She made her way to the bedroom completely avoiding all eye contact with Jay. She grabbed a duffle and started showing clothes into it. Jay just stood there entirely confused on what to say or do. 

"I'll come get the rest when you're out" a few tears were brimming in her eyes but she sure as hell wasn't going to let them fall. 

Jay went to grab her hand y/n ignored him and walked out the door. 

*BANG BANG BANG 

"Derek what do you want" y/n was at her firm and her associate, Derek was wanting her. 

"you need to go to the 21st district, Mr Maxwell got caught up again" y/n rolled her eyes. Mr Maxwell was a frequent flyer he was homeless, y/n always felt bad for him so she took his case pro-bono. However, Rossi Maxwell always seemed to find trouble. 

"Tell him i'll be there in twenty" and with that y/n left to go to the district. 

"Hey Trudy, looking as beautiful as ever" y/n cheekily said with a smirk. 

Trudy rolled her eyes and responded with a blunt "upstairs" 

Going up these stairs was a familiar feeling for y/n whether she was going to support a client or going to see her boyfriend, well now ex-boyfriend. Y/n hadn't seen Jay in a week she still hasn't been by the house to collect her stuff. She loved Jay but just couldn't face him. 

Ruzek greeted y/n with a hug as soon as he saw her "girl I thought you were dead where have you been?" 

y/n just laughed and said "Maxwell? what's he been up to this time?"

Ruzek chuckled slightly 'what hasn't that man done? He got caught with some dope but if I tell you anymore I'm pretty sure you'll get him released and we will lose our best shot of catching our guy."

Y/n raised her brows at him. "Ruzek, you do realise i'm his lawyer and that's my job right?" 

Ruzek clicked his finger and led her to the interrogation room. 

"Adam who's in there with him?" y/n asked nervously. 

"Jay and Hailey" Ruzek said barely above a whisper. It was clear that everyone seemed to know about this love triangle between y/n, jay and Hailey. 

Y/n being the badass she is walked in with her head held up. "Rossi what have you gotten yourself into this time?" 

Rossi gave her his compelling cheeky smirk "oh nothing new, I just wanted to see your pretty face" 

Y/n smiled at him then looked towards Hailey who was sat next to jay directly in-front of Mr Maxwell. "My client has nothing further to say to you, we are leaving." 

Mr Maxwell stood up. "no he's not, he's being charged with the handling of a class a drug as well as distribution, hell I could hold him as an accessory to murder" Hailey stated with a stern voice. 

"accessory. Hailey come on he's a harmless old man who can hardly look after himself how the hell would he be able to help with murder?" y/n stated somewhat pissed off. 

"y/n he's staying. End of." Hailey said slightly raising her tone. Jay sat there silently not knowing where to look. He saw that Hailey was getting annoyed and placed his hand on her lower back. Y/n saw this and it made her blood boil. How could he have moved on in a week? They had been together for 3 years and he goes to his partner in a week! It was really clear how much he cared for y/n. 

"My client has rights and IM NOT SEEING ANY PROOF OF THIS ACCESSORY TO MURDER. MY client denies all charged and without any admissible evidence we will be walking out of here now." y/n leaned over the table to she was in Hailey's face "end of" she whispered to her. Y/n was true to her word she told Mr Maxwell to leave the interrogation room and to go outside, where Derek, the associate, was waiting. Y/n wanted to speak to Voight about how the whole situation was handled. 

"y/n can we-" jay began.  

"no" y/n simply stated and carried on walking. However, she was stopped when Jay grabbed onto her wrist and pulled her into him. 

"baby please. I love you" y/n could have sworn she saw tears threatening to spill form his eyes. This made her soften but she was still mad. 

"I won't be second place" she stated and with that she walked off to Voight's office.

"you need to get your detectives in place before this unit has a pending court trial" y/n said entering Voight's office. 

"y/n I know she was out of place bu-" Voight began. 

"no Voight I'm tired of making excuses for this unit sort it out" as y/n was leaving she saw Hailey comforting Jay. Y/n chucked and murmured a "point proven, case closed" and made her way back outside to meet with her client and Derek. 

Normally, Derek would be waiting outside the car but this time he wasn't. Y/n just predicted that he was in the car; the windows were tinted so she couldn't see. Y/n got in and saw Derek in the back seat, he was coated in blood. "oh my - DEREK WAKE UP" she started to shake him. Maxwell was sat next to Derek looking at his hand with a sore excuse of a smirk. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" she screamed at him. This got his attention, he looked up at her and reached for a knife. Y/n knew what was about to come so she reached for the door handle of the car. Maxwell grabbed some rope and put it around y/n neck. She found it strange with how he didn't say a word, this wasn't him. She didn't know this person, she knew a sweet old man who just got caught up in the wrong crowd. Y/n fought hard trying not to be choked to death, tears were falling and fear was taking over her, she could barely breathe. "Rossi please" y/n said softly as she was somewhat loosing conciseness due to the lack of oxygen. This made him stop. He got out the car and left. y/n couldn't move, when she finally pulled herself together she went to check on Derek. "hey, hey" she said tears falling rapidly. She couldn't find a pulse and knew she needed help. She could barely catch her breathe so she had to leave the car. She got out and looked around, Maxwell was no where to be seen. 

She started speed walking back towards the district. She was stopped by a sharp pain in her upper ribs. She turned around, it was Maxwell. She had been stabbed. He continued plunging the knife into her, she didn't have any energy to fight him off. "Rossi please stop" y/n managed to get out. She wasn't sure if he heard so she said it again with everything she had "Rossi stop p-please." This time he looked at her. He froze and dropped the knife. y/n kicked it out the way. Yn fell to her knees she was blacking out. Maxwell snapped out of his trance and saw her in front of him covered in blood. 

"Y/L/N! HELPPPP" Maxwell picked her up and ran into the district with her in his arms. 

Trudy saw them and instantly shouted "HELP CITIZEN DOWN" she froze, that's when she recognised her. "AVERY GET YOUR ASS UP TO INTELLIGENCE AND TELL THEM Y/N Y/L/N IS DOWN HERE AND IS IN BAD SHAPE" Trudy put pressure on her wounds "come on y/n stay with me". 

JAYS POV. 

One of the officers came running up the stairs, something had to be wrong. 

"sergeant platt said you need to come down stairs she said something about a 'y/n y/l/n' she's in real bad shape" he started rambling. My heart dropped. There was no way it was her. How could it be her. 

I ran downstairs in less than a second and I saw her. She looked completely lifeless. 

"baby, come on oh my god, baby wake up" I cried. I couldn't hold myself together. I grabbed her hand whilst Trudy was doing CPR. 

END OF POV. 

Jay was frantically pacing around the hospital waiting room. How could he have let this happen? Who the hell would do this to her?

Dr Halstead entered the room. 

"Will, tell me she's fine. Will please" Will placed a hand on his brothers shoulder and took a deep breath. 

"Jay she lost a lot of blood. She's in the ICU at the moment its a hit and miss she's just gotta make it though the night" Jay fell to the floor sobbing loudly. Will comforted him. They were like this for a while until Jay finally spoke. 

"Can I see her?" Will responded with a nod, not knowing what else to say. 

Will walked Jay to y/n's room. Jay walked in and Will left them alone. 

JAYS POV. 

She looked ghost-like, yet perfect. Why didn't I go after her? why didn't I try to get her to stay? This is my fault. 

I went and sat next to her. I grabbed her hand and placed a light kiss on it. 

"Hey honey, its me." I was hoping she would wake up and answer me, she didn't. 

I didn't know what to do. what could I do? 

END OF POV

Y/n made it though the night but she still had no woken up. Two weeks had passed and nothing seemed to be improving. 

"Jay go home, take a shower and get some sleep I will call you if anything changes I promise." Will told Jay sternly. 

"promise" Jay said mid-yawn. 

"yes let me drive you" and with that both the Halstead brothers drove back to Jay's apartment, previously his and y/n's. 

Jay went straight to the bathroom when he remembered what was in the cabinet. He smiled at the thought of what he could have had. He never understood why y/n was always so mad at him he really never noticed how close he was getting with Hailey. He was furious at himself. 

"Jay you good?" Will interrupted his thoughts. Jay opened the bathroom door and showed Will what was making him smile. "do you think this was her style?"

Will laughed. "brother, she's a lawyer. Believe me they make it clear what they want. That is perfect" Jay also laughed. It was a noise Will missed hearing. 

Jay had a nap whilst Will went back to the ER. 

*BEEP BEEP BEEP

*BEEP BEEP BEEP

Jay didn't hear. 

*BEEP BEEP BEEP

He finally heard. Jay answered the phone as quick as he possibly could. 

"what's happened?" jay asked frantically 

"get here now" was all Will had to say. 

Jay rushed out the door and sped to the ER with sirens on. He ran up to y/n's room. He went to the door and he rushed over to her. 

"you're awake, Will had me thinking you were dead" Jay chucked 

Y/n didn't say anything she still was somewhat mad at Jay. 

"Y/n I didn't realise what I did when you left, I really confused me. I love you and I thought you loved me too. I have never missed someone so much, you make me the happiest man. These past 3 years have been the best. You put up with me through my sleepless nights, through the hospital visits and all the times I tried arguing with you in the interrogation rooms. y/n/n you are my everything. You are the reason why I smile in the morning and the reason why I can peacefully and happily close my eyes at night. Atwater made me realise about Hailey, I've only been with her so much lately because she's leaving y/n. She accepting the FBI offer and I wanted to give a good goodbye, spent time with her you know. She's one hell of a cop. She wanted me to go with her. I said no because everything I could ever want is right her. My life is perfect. Well, it was until you left and got yourself stabbed" Jay lightly chuckled. Y/n was tearing up and smiled. Until realisation hit her about being stabbed. 

"Maxwell-" 

"Is in a mental asylum. He has a 2 personality disorder, he will get better he just needs some support" Jay said softly going to kiss her forehead. 

"Derek?" y/n asked not really wanting to know the answer. 

Jay shook his head "i'm sorry" 

Y/n moved over in the uncomfortable hospital bed. "whoa what are you doing, you'll hurt yourself?" jay said sternly. 

"shut up and come cuddle me" y/n said back to him sternly. Jay did as he was told being careful not to hurt her. 

"i'm an idiot" she said. 

Jay laughed "my idiot" 

Will came in and ruined the moment "hey lovers not naughty business in the room thank youuu" They all laughed as Jay smacked his brother lightly on the head. Will placed something in Jay's hands making sure y/n wouldn't see he winked at him then left.  

"What was that" y/n asked as Jay got comfy next to her. 

"Look at me" Jay said. She did as she was told. "I love you. I don't want to lose you or wake up without you for another day. You are the one I want and I've been planning this for a while"

Jay got down from the bed and got on one knee. 

"y/n will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"

y/n didn't know what to say so she just nodded and let the tears flow from her eyes. Jay placed the ring on her finger. 

"I love you Jay Halstead however I'm not letting that my idiot comment slide. I think your forgetting i'm the one with the law degree" y/n smirked. 

Jay laughed. 

"I love you too" and that's when Will came in. 

"WELCOME TO THE SEXY FAMILY Y/N!" 

The three of them laughed as Jay kissed y/n

[kaz11283]

I really like the prompt list you reblogged it’s got some good stuff. What about 37. “Because I love you god damn it!” with Loki if you are still needing inspiration.

37) Because I Love You God Damn It!

~~~~

The Secret Is Out

Characters: the Avengers Bunch, Loki, Thor, Clint

Warnings: Dirty words, slight angst

Summary: after putting your life in the line for a teammate you accidentally let a big secret slip.

Announcements: I will always need insperation and requests! They feed my soul! Haha. I'm not gonna lie. Im skipping back and forth on my requests though. I have a really good story line for one but its just so emotional(thats were Im hoping it goes at least) that I didnt want to write it tonight and put my self in a mood. So instead I guess im goimg with a form of anger? Meh. Anyways... I absolutly love love love everything from you guys! The reblogs, likes, and comments are amazing and I am very greatful for all the love I am getting!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~

The fight had been rough but not as rough as you were feeling in the moment. You had gotten serverly hurt and had been in the medbay for about a week now and you had a longer road ahead. There had been an explosion and instead of turning to run away you had ran toward one of your team members that had been to distracted to realize what was going on, you had successfully gotten him shoved out of the way but you had taken the brunt of the blast.

Now you were laying here staring at the celing trying to stay distracted as Bruce and Tony looked at your completely shaddered knee and the burns up your leg. Fingers crossed that they would have good news soon.

"Well as of right now kid your out of commission." Tony said helping you sit back up.

"Meaning?" You pulled one of the pillows down so that you could sit up without being uncomfortable.

"Meaning right now, the way it all looks, your gonna be stuck in the bed until it fully heals and after wards theres really no way to tell if your going to be able to work in the field again." Burce said looking at the xrays again. "And your gonna have to have surgery in order to put all the right pieces back in the right places, but we cant really do that until some of the burns heal or at least start to heal. Its gonna be a long drawn out process unfortunately." He sighed setting the charts back down and walking over to you.

"Fucking hell! You mean I'm gonna be pushing paper work? I might as well go work in a damn office with four white walls and a poster that says 'hang in there, its almost Friday'." You placed your head in your hands.

"Hey! At least our paper work is more exciting than just running numbers." Tony said placing a hand on your back. He had been like a fsther to you, taking you in when you didnt have anywhere else to turn except the streets. Your own family had abandoned you at a young age and you had been leaning toward a dark path until Tony. "Besides with your expertise you dont have to sit behind a desk, your fingers arent blown off, you can still hack into stuff I'm sure."

"Tony we had a deal when I moved in. No hacking but you would train me and I could actually do good. Now look at me."

"I said no hacking the good guys, and if I remember correctly you were the one jumping close to the bomb not away from. I hate to be this way y/n but the only one to blame is yourself on this one."

"He would have been worst off than I am if not killed. I think I did the right thing. Besides you would have done the same thing if you had been closer." You sighed.

"Honey the diffrence with that is I have a supersuit, you wear a skin tight, spandex one peice, that I'm not a fan of." He laughted. Bruce had went to go get you some more pain killers to shoot into your IV.

"Tony if I were you I would shut up. Your starting to sound like you might actually love me, might even say your starting to act like a dad." You laughed pulling him into a hug.

"Shut it kid, cant let the others know I have a soft spot for the hacker orphan kid i took in all those years ago now can I." He said kissing the top of your head. "Do you need anything else before the drugs kick in and you pass out again?"

"Yes, can you please bring me my phone charger, laptop, and that really fluffy blanket that you and Pep got for me for Christmas."

"Dont ask to much of me now."

"I wouldnt be asking if you would just let me stay in my room. I hate it down here. I wanna be were the people are." You were starting to get loopy from whatever Bruce had given you.

"Ok little mermaid, get some rest I'll get your stuff." He laughed walking out the door letting you fall into a restless sleep.

You didnt know how long you hade been asleep but you woke up with a groan trying to sit up so you could atleast stretch your back from laying in one spot for to long. You flopped back down dramatically with a sigh. You could sense someine else in the room with you, you always knew when he was around.

"You dont have to hide in the shadows Loki. Your more than welcome to keep me company, you should know that by now." You smiled as the prince walked over and sat in the chair beside you. You could tell he hadnt been sleeping, his hair was fixed as always but his clothes looked worst for wear. He had on a plain black shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants, both of with had wrinkles in them either from tossing and turning or from not being changed in a few days.

"Whats wrong? And dont pull that 'nothing is wrong dear. I'm absolutly fine.' Bullshit. You look horrible." You reatched out to grab his hand. What you and Loki had was diffrent. You didnt just see his as a friend, he didnt just see you as that either though. You had spent many nights sitting up with the silver tounge man many nights laying on the couch watching movies, reading, talking about each of your pasts. He knew more about you than even Tony did.

"I'm still currently trying to wrap my head around why you pushed me out of the way and took the blow when you had a chance of dying from it. You shouldnt have been so thick headed my dear." He took your hand and raised it to his lips kissing the top of your hand.

"Loki." You sighed rolling your head to look back up at the celing. "You would have been hurt alot wordt than I am now, that blast could have killed you."

"I am a god y/n, that blast wouldnt have caused me nearly as much damage as it did you." His voice raised slightly.

"Thats what you think. You think that because you are "immortal" that you can take anything thats thrown at you. That no one really cares about you, that you wouldnt be missed? So why not try to take a blow from a bomb? My god your so stupid sometimes."

"I know I can. Norns y/n I've jumped into space, been brain washed, tried to take over New York, gotten smashed around by the Hulk. I was raised with Thor, he doesnt really go easy on a person. What I'm saying is I dont understand why you, a mear midguardian, would sacrifice themselves for me. If anything would have happened-"

"Nothing did happen though. I'm fine-"

"You have steel sticking from your leg, theres no telling when or even if you'll be able to walk again, and there are highly server burns that will leave scares. You cannot sit there and tell me that you are fine."

"Your right it does suck that I'm jot gonna be able to pull off shorts or a bikini anymore."

"This isnt a joke y/n. You almost died!" He finally yelled.

"And i would do it a thousand times over if that ment saving your damn ass again!" You shouted back.

"Why though?! Why me y/n? I've done horrible things, killed people! My life is meaningless." Tears had sprang to his eyes as he looked away.

"Because I love you God damn it!" You stopped suddenly your jaw dropping at the admission that you hadnt ment for him to hear. His head jerked back to you.

"What?" Shock was all over his face as he stood to walk closer to you. "What did you just say?"

"Because I love you Loki Odinson. Because if you were to die I dont think I would be able to go on living. Because even if you see all the bad things that you've done I can look pass that amd see all the good that you are doing." You reached up placing a hand on his cheek and wiping away a tear.

"I love you too y/n. I have since the day I met you. The girl that didnt care what anyone said when she spent time with me. The girl that can see through every face i put on. I love you so much darling." He placed his hand on your face and leaning down gently kissing your lips.

It felt like you thought it always should you felt electricity run through your body and the two of you connected. It was like getting a breath after not being able to for so long. He pulled away smiling at you.

"What do we tell the others?" He asked laying on with bed with you being easy with your leg. He placed his arm around your middle and pulled you as close as he could.

"I honestly dont care what we tell them. They can figure it out themseves for all I care." You smiled lacing your fingers with his, you yawned placing your head on his shoulder closing your eyes.

"Sleep now my Dove, I will be here when you wake." He felt your gentle breath slow as you fell asleep, the rhythm you of your breath lulling him into his own sleep.

Tony and Bruce walked in the next morning stopping dead at the sight in front of them. You and Loki were still cuddled on the small bed sleeping peacefully.

"Should we wake them up?" Bruce asked looking at Tony.

"Na, let them sleep. Dont want to let them know that we know." Tony saod grabbing Bruce's arm and turning to walk back out of the door.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[piraticalarchive]

my favorite thing about my muse’s dynamic with @twistedwit is that way back in 2014 when we were writing hook and guy in nottingham only, their relationship was completely different up until, true to character, guy lost his shit and it was so awful cool to write because it changed everything about them so entirely. They finally saw one another eye to eye and Guy became the man i think he could have been in the show had he actually been given a chance. and the killing marian thing doesn’t count because lucy and richard balked at that from the very beginning and put their own reasons behind it other than ‘jealous killer’ - and hey, i respect opinions but i’m gonna go with the way they wanted to interpret it, you know?

don’t get me wrong, there are so many things about him in the show that make me literally cringe and its so hard to watch (kissing her when her father dies, im??).. but anyways, my point is that sometimes i think its easy to think ‘but wait, mates .. he’s a bad guy..’ and kind of raise an eyebrow at the way he treats hook/killian but i also definitely think there’s evidence that could be a thing from the show, had it been allowed to flourish.

and the same goes for my portrayal of killian too - like things sometimes seem so fluffy and easy and just .. un bad dude .. between them but they do still shoot each other fight, and for the verses that seem to have it way too good/easy (canon nottingham for one), it’s been like 7 years (almost 8, holy shit) of development and when it comes to that verse in particular i’m just like for the love of god, i’ve done my angst - let them be happy ! 

also, i think it’s important to remember that back in the day (and still currently since discord, wire, kik, etc are all still a thing) a lot of development was able to happen off of tumblr and via headcanons etc and there’s some stuff that you’re just not gonna write on the puritanical site of tumblr - no matter how in character it is. And I’m not talking about seriously taboo and gross stuff (get out if you think villain actually means ‘must be this evil’.) but there are also aspects of relationships between broken and problematic people that i think others are quick to jump on as ‘toxic’ and problematic and not a good ship .. and yeah, maybe it’s not. But toxic people and people with struggles and broken people sometimes cut one another with their jagged pieces and sometimes it goes to hell and it’s one sided and its gross - but other times they figure one another out and build something beautiful. 

My muse has literally bashed Guy’s head against a rock, knocked him out, shot him, left him, fought with those emotions that slowly grew - but they grew from that, and I think it’s important to remember that sometimes what looks like an ‘out of character’ dynamic or relationship can actually have developed over a course of time and people can (though, not everyone), in fact, grow and change. 

i gotta stop or i’m gonna start quoting a particular description of lancelot from th white that i always based killian’s affections off and this is long and rambly enough. This wasn’t prompted by anything but I was just thinking about a lot of my writing partners that i’ve had forever and how things have developed between muses and obviously Guy and Hook are the first ones to come to mind because they’ve had the biggest development.

[oikirstein]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 | Kuroken | Day 1

Synopsis: Kenma has has loved his best friend, Kuroo, for a lifetime. After a misfortunate occurrence which was photographed by the media, the PR team for Bouncing Ball Corp. decide that it’s a good idea for Kenma and Kuroo to play along with the public to increase the sales of their upcoming product release. Will Kenma be able to control his emotions, or will he lose his best friend in the process?

Contains: Angst, unrequited love, fake relationship

Posted: 12/21/2020

Word count: 3,342

Haikyuu Angst Week Prompt List here.

I have been in love with Tetsuro Kuroo since I was seven years old.

I still love him—eighteen years later.

Growing up as best friends, he was never a hard person to love. He looks out for me, brought me out of my comfort zone, hell, he’s the reason why I’ve grown into who I am today. I’d never admit that to his stupid face, though.

I was seventeen when I realized my love for him was more than just platonic. He was a year older than me, so by the time I started my third year, he was already off to university. The harsh reality of the situation finally weighed heavy on me when I waited outside of his house for thirty minutes and remembered he’s not coming anymore.

He called me later that evening apologizing, although he did nothing wrong, because that’s just the type of person Kuroo was. The next week he surprised me by waiting outside my door to walk me to school.

“I miss this,” he reminisced, staring up at the sky.

“What?” I turned to him, heart racing just a little more than usual, hoping for a certain string of words to come out of his mouth.

“Walking to school like this every morning.”

They didn’t.

I don’t know what I was hoping for. Maybe I wanted him to say he missed walking with me. I’m not sure whether I’d rather hear lies or the truth. That was the day I admitted to myself that he’d be the only person for me.

Now here we are, me at 25 and him at 26 sitting in my office with my publicist yelling at us for being so reckless in public. It was a misunderstanding, really.

“How could you do that at a party where you knew there’d be press coverage?” Kata was pacing back and forth while I rested my forehead on my crossed arms that laid on the glass desk and Kuroo leaned back in his chair on the other side of the table.

“Kata,” she stopped mid-stride and turned her attention to me as I muttered, “how many times do I have to repeat myself,” I lifted my head back up, “IT ISN’T WHAT YOU THINK.”

Kuroo found it difficult to hold back his laugh.

“I don’t think you should be laughing, Kuroo-san. You’re in just as much trouble as Kozume-san.”

He stopped laughing.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter what I think. It was never about what I thought. The point of my job is to make sure you look good for the public. Thats what a publicist does. Now the issue here, is that the public thinks you’re dating.”

“Okay, wow so all it takes is for me to fall, Kuroo to catch me, and some no-name photographer to snap a picture of us for us to be considered ‘dating’ now?” 

“Kozume-san if you play into this little charade, say for a couple months, just long enough for the new product to be released, sales will go up, and then you can just announce that you two called it quits.”

Was it really worth playing with my heart just to earn a quick buck? 

“No. I don’t want Kuroo to be forced to date me, that’s weird and embarrassing.” 

Kata walked forward and took a seat in the chair next to Kuroo before she leaned forward and rest her chin on her hand, “Here’s the thing Kozume-san, you two ‘dating’, doesn't even have to be real,” proud of her award-winning idea, she leaned back in her seat, arms folded across her chest, and a smug look written all over her face.

“So what you’re saying is to do this as a cash grab?” Kuroo seemed genuinely curious.

“Well somewhat. Think of it more like...fan service.”

“Hmmm...I mean if it’s a show they want then it’s a show they’ll get,” he reached over and smacked my back, “What do you say kitten? Be my scene partner?” he smirked.

Ugh. Why does he have to use those stupid nicknames that always make my heart flutter. My face was visibly cringing as i scrunched up my nose and scowled at him. He knows I could never truly refuse when it’s him.

“Fine,” I mumbled under my breath as I looked away.

Kuroo’s footsteps were light as he got up from his seat and went around the desk to sneak up behind me. He bent down and leaned in close towards my ear.

“What was that, puddin?” he whispered, his hot breath whipping through my loose strands of hair.

I jumped out of my seat and rubbed my ear with the sleeve of my jacket and he laughed his ugly, stupid, hyena laugh. 

“See! Look at that! You two aren’t even ‘dating’ and yet you have so much chemistry!” Kata said enthusiastically while clapping.

Of course we have chemistry. We’ve been best friends for eighteen years. Soulmates our whole lives. It was always easy to be around Kuroo. That’s one of the things I love about him. Why wouldn’t we have chemistry?

“Well, when you’ve been best friends with someone for like, your whole life, of course you’re gonna know exactly how to push his buttons,” his voice was breathy as he wiped tears from his eyes.

I didn’t realize it then, but I truly did sell my heart for pocket change.

A full month later was when we went out in public together as a “couple” for the first time. It was a simple brunch at a well known restaurant, but Kata made sure to anonymously tip paparazzi that we would be at that establishment. Together. It wasn’t even 30 minutes into our meal when we were bombarded with cameras.

“Today we are here with Kenma Kozume, the young CEO of Bouncing Ball Corp., and his supposed boyfriend, Tetsuro Kuroo, from the Japan Volleyball Association. Are any of you able to speak on the rumors spreading about the two of you?”

Kuroo had always been good at talking. He's been smooth with his words for as long as I could remember him. He was...a people person. The complete opposite of me, which is why we agreed that Kuroo would do most of the talking, should a camera crew show up.

He laughed, not the ugly hyena kind, it was an attractive laugh. That’s how I knew it wasn’t real.

“Well I mean we won’t confirm or deny anything right now, won’t we kitten?” he winked at me and suddenly all the attention was directed towards my direction.

Idiot. Two can play at that game.

“Im pretty sure whatever the public is thinking is probably true, hm Tetsu?”

I’ve never called him that before, so it was obvious he was shocked. Big eyes and blushy cheeks. We gave the camera exactly what it wanted.

“Is that a confirmation?” the man behind the camera was provoking us for an answer.

“It’s whatever you want it to be,” he smirked before taking his chopsticks back into his hand and grabbing a plate full of beef, “Now if you gentlemen will excuse us, we’d like to continue our lunch date.”

Satisfied with the content they would now be able to work with, the cameras slowly started retreating from the scene until it was just us two again.

“Damn maybe I should’ve gone into show business,” he smirked.

“Shut up, they might still be around,” I whispered while looking down, incase we were still being watched.

“How do you know I was talking about that. I could just simply be saying that I would’ve been amazing on T.V.”

“No you wouldn’t,” I replied, monotonous voice, as I took a bite of some barbecue and rice.

“Kenma, why do you have to break my heart like this? What if I was born to be an actor?”

“Uhm I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen an actor that has the same hairstyle twenty-four seven, three hundred sixty-five days a year.”

“That’s a technicality. Why should hair define my amazing acting abilities?”

“Then I want to see you shave your head and wear a wig.”

Kuroo froze in the middle of whatever movement he was making and just stared at the grill in the middle of the table with a horrified expression written on his face.

“You know what? Maybe I wasn't meant to be an actor...”

Outings usually continued on like this. We would have little interviews with paparazzi, slowly dropping more and more hints about our “relationship,” and once they left, we’d have breakfast, lunch, or dinner, like we usually do. I suppose to any outsider it would seem as though we were on a date, but I wouldn’t allow myself to call this pitiful get together as such.

I could pretend this was real. I could tell myself that Kuroo reciprocated my feelings. I could tell myself that we were truly in a relationship. I could tell myself I have a chance, but a mere sliver of probability isn’t worth risking our friendship. 

Since I was seventeen I accepted the fact that I’d be happy as long as he was in my life. I mean, he’d still smile the same. He’d still laugh the same. He’d still love me... 

I’m supposed to be content with what I have. It’s either we stay as best friends, or we go on as strangers, and I’d rather avoid the latter. So why do I feel such a tightness in my chest whenever we’re forced to go out together? Why do I feel so selfish for wanting more?

Two months went by until we had to make an actual appearance together at a party. Me under Kuroo’s arm like some sort of bittersweet candy. 

He was always good at reading people—especially me. Which is why he pulled me aside before we walked into the huge rental house. The only reason I agreed to show up was because it was Shoyo’s team celebrating their win against some team who’s name I can’t remember.

“You okay Ken?” he rested both hands on my shoulders with my back against the wall.

“Yeah, I just need a second.”

I never did like big crowds.

After taking a few minutes to breathe before submitting myself to the abyss of rowdy adrenaline-high athletes, Kuroo took my hand in his as we walked through the front doors together. It was warm. Like my fingers were molded to fit perfectly into his palm. Must’ve been why I felt so cold when he let my hand go.

As soon as the camera flashed and Bokuto called him from the other side of the room, he whispered an “I’ll be back kitten,” before joining the beefy player by the bar. 

I guess I’ll go find Shoyo.

It wasn’t long until I saw a bush of bright orange bobbing up and down through a sea of people.

“Shoyo!”

“Kenma!”

“Congratulations on your win.”

“Thank you! I wouldn’t want to disappoint my sponsor,” he winked, “Do you want to step outside? It’s a little loud in here.”

Whether he means to or not, Shoyo’s always been good at making sure people feel comfortable.

“Uhm, Shoyo?” I grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged a little to get his attention.

“What’s up?” he practically had to yell over the loud music and the incessant yelling of the surrounding people.

“Can we get a beer first?”

A smile spread across his face, “Of course, just wait for me by the fire outside.”

I followed his instructions and sat in one of the red lawn chairs that snaked around the circular bonfire.

“How’ve you been?” the ginger said while handing me an opened beer and sitting in the chair next to me.

“I’ve been alright. Things are running smoothly for the product release—”

“I didn't ask about how work was, Kenma,” he interrupted, “How are you?”

“Oh. Uhm...I’m keeping it together.”

He leaned back in the plastic chair and took a sip from his drink, “So you and Kuroo-san, huh?”

I looked around to make sure no one was near us. I could never lie to Shoyo.

“Barely,” I mumbled as I, myself, took a big gulp.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“It’s an act. All because of a misunderstanding from a few months ago.”

“Well did you have a choice?”

“Not really.”

“That's unfortunate. I thought you would’ve told him how you felt by now.”

“Wait- what do you mean ‘how I felt?’ You knew?”

“I may not be that bright, but I have eyes, Kenma. I can see the way your eyes gloss over when he calls you one of those cute pet names, or the way your cheeks redden when he does that weird laugh at your jokes.”

“Hmm... You’re more observant than I thought, Sho.”

“So why haven’t you told him?”

Just thinking about confessing scared the shit out of me. All I can imagine is the disgusted look on his face when I tell him. The scenario plays over and over again in my head—the one where he walks away and fades into the background. I don’t know when I started crying, but I had only realized it when I heard the glass of Shoyo’s bottle tap the ground.

“What’s wrong?”

I wiped the hot tears from my cheeks with my wrist.

“I guess I just love him too much to lose him.”

Two weeks after that party, we had another meeting at the office.

“This has been going great so far!” Kata exclaimed, obviously proud of her idea, “Have you ever thought of being an actor?” she teased Kuroo.

“See! That’s what I’ve been telling Kenma, but apparently my untamable hair is standing in the way between me and fame.”

“You’re already all over the news, idiot.”

“And all thanks to my little kitten,” he walked over to my seat behind my desk and peppered my cheek in kisses.

“We’re not in public, you can stop acting all lovey dovey,” I spat. I didn’t even think about my words until Kata’s effervescent expression changed into a state of confused shock. She wasn’t sure how she should react to my outburst.

“W-what? It’s all fun and games, Ken,” Kuroo was taken aback by my response as well, but he hid it much better than my publicist.

“It always is with you,” I got up and walked out of office. I couldn't take it anymore. All this pretending and toying with my heart. I felt bad for blaming it all on Kuroo, when he couldn’t have possibly known about my feelings, but it was easier to blame him for my pain than to admit to myself that I’m a coward. 

I rounded the corner and continued on my way to the vending machine to get an energy drink. Those always seemed to put me in a better mood.

Kuroo knew me well. Who wouldn’t after eighteen years? That’s probably why he knew exactly where to find me.

“What the hell was that, Kenma?”

I pulled up the tab of the can and let the hiss of carbonation fizzle out before I took a sip and leaned against the wall.

“What was what?” 

“You’re little scene in there? What’s going on?”

“Nothing is going on.”

“You’re lying to me.”

 I looked off to the side, my eyes scanning every row in the vending machine, “I just think it’s time to call quits on this charade we have going on,” I responded dryly.

“Huh? Why? It’s only a couple more weeks until the release. Why end it now?”

“I’m tired, Kuroo. I don’t want to have to pretend all the time anymore.”

I was never an emotional person, so I knew that in this moment Kuroo knew something catastrophic was going on inside my head, for me to put myself before the potential success of the company.

“It’s just for a little while longer and then we can go back to normal, okay? Can you just hold out until then?”

“No. You’re not listening to me. Why the hell do you want to keep doing this. This doesn’t benefit you in the slightest.”

“Because I love you,” my heart rate went up at these words although I knew he didn’t mean them in the way I wish he did, “You’re my best friend and I want to see you thrive.”

“Why are you always putting yourself on the line for me?”

“Putting myself on the line? What are you—”

“I’m so selfish! And then you over here,” I rolled my eyes at him before kicking my weight off the wall, “You constantly give but you never take!”

“I don’t see the issue with that.”

“You’re too good for me,” I looked to the ground because I knew that if I looked up into his gorgeous hazel eyes, I would definitely cry. 

“That’s not true—”

“Yes it is and you know it,” my voice was on the verge of cracking from how tired I was from arguing.

“You know what? You look like you need some space. Think about things okay? I’m only a phone call away. I’ll see you at the launch party,” he walked away.

The day of the launch party was a bore. Just a bunch of business men in suits and the growing anxiety in the pit of my stomach, for Kuroo had yet to show up like he promised. 

It was half-past twelve when I stepped outside the venue to get some fresh air. The second I opened the doors was when I saw him pacing back and forth, deep in thought.

“Kuroo?”

“Kenma! I’m so sorry about what happened a few weeks ago—”

I did nothing but hugged him like I was going to lose him.

“Why are you apologizing? I was the one that had a tantrum.”

“Well you’re not the only one that got mad.”

“Let’s go for a walk?”

He nodded and draped his heavy arm over my shoulder before he took another step.

“Well so far sales have been good. Almost linear.”

“I’m glad I was able to help. So this is the end, huh?”

We both stopped in the middle of the side walk. I didn’t want it to end. The handholding, the hugs, the camera kisses. I wanted all of it. I so badly wanted all of it to be real. Maybe it’s because I spent half the night drinking, or maybe it’s because his midnight hair ricocheted the moonlight ever so perfectly, that I felt a courage rush through me like never before.

“Why does it have to end?”

“Didn’t you say like three weeks ago that you wanted to end our little ‘relationship?’”

“I don’t mean it like that. I mean,” I unwrapped myself from his limb and stepped in front of him, “I’m in love with you, Tetsu. I have been for eighteen years.”

A piece of my heart cracked when he took a step back, face pale, and eyes widened.

“What?”

I wanted to take a step forward, but for some reason, my feet were glued to the ground.

“I love you.”

He smiled assuringly before he laughed to lighten the air. The same type of laugh he’s used to fool reporters. 

“You’re my best friend, Kenma.”

“I know. I’ll never be more than that, right?”

“You know I love you,” I wouldn’t dare get my hopes up again at those words, “You’re like a little brother to me.”

Damn. Is this what it feels like for my heart to be so irreparably shattered? Physical pain spread from my chest throughout my body. To the tips of fingers and toes.

“I—” he started, before giving you that diabetes inducing smile, “I should go.”

I watched him walk away. It was a vision from my worst nightmare. When did it all change? Is this what my selfishness was bound to lead to?

What was supposed to be a simple marketing tactic, turned out to be a fate worse than death. I was heartbroken to think he was my soulmate, but I wasn’t his.

© all content [unless stated otherwise] belongs to gellysticks 2020. do not modify or repost.

reblogs are greatly appreciated :)

[kpopchangedme]

Im Jaebeom | Pregnancy!au [M]

Jaebeom read so many baby-related books he's forgotten how to enjoy some simple pleasures... (Oh, and you are obviously cranky and hormonal but he knows better than to tell you that!)

Protagonists: Im Jaebeom & You

Word Count: 2.4k

Genre: NSFW - Newly Weds - Romance - Angst - Pregnancy - Pregnancy sex- Smut || [Drabble 2k]

Prompts: “I can’t help the fact that I’m so goddamn moody all the freaking time” + “Should have gotten a puppy.” [Anon]

Lyly's note: Is this sexy pregnancy!au worthy of Things I Wish I Knew or what? lol. Pregnant ladies, go get some! ;)

GOT7 | M.list

You let out a loud swear, stepping on a phone charger someone has somehow abandoned in the middle of the living room. It freaking hurts, like a tiny torture device, tore the sensitive skin of your foot. Of course, when you sit on the couch to examine it, it looks perfectly fine. 

“Should've gotten a damn puppy,” You curse again under your breath, unreasonably livid. 

Instantly, the guilty party's head pops out of the doorframe to his office. “Honey!” Jaebeom considers you from head to toe in outrage, “The Shrimp has ears.”

That's his thing now that the third-semester started; obsessing about auditory development and what the baby is able to hear. Swears, news coverage of dramatic events and loud quarrels are strictly prohibited. He plays music whenever he has the chance, boasting about how you are growing a music whiz. 

Ever since he read his first damn pregnancy book, Jaebeom turned into a helicopter daddy-to-be, always hovering to make sure you are doing everything right. At the end of the third prenatal visit, he decided on moving his whole studio at home to work and mommysit – as he calls it.

By the time he was done with the fourth pregnancy book, you felt like nothing but an incubator to his spawn. That's not exactly what you wished your first year of life together would feel like. But then again, you didn't plan on getting pregnant on your honeymoon, the first time you two ditched contraception. It happened very fast. Everyone called it a blessing and you did too for a while, you were elated. Right until you started to lose your hair and struggle with acne like a damn teenager… Now it varies daily, you are either excited or scared shitless, in high spirits or easily irritable, you can't tell before it shifts. Overbearing, Jaebeom has gotten better than yourself at reading your daily disposition.

When you glare at him, he straightens worryingly in the doorframe, partly to blame for your current mood. “Don't look at me!” You snap in exasperation, still rubbing the sole of your aching foot. “Can you stop looking at me like that?”

He risks taking a few steps in your general direction, expertly assessing the situation, “Like what?”

"Like I’m a ticking bomb; like I'm gonna start yelling at you any second!” Freezing in the middle of the place, he presses his tongue to his cheek. You are almost shouting, but he knows better than to point that out.

“I’m not,” Jaebeom comes to sit by you guardedly. He makes sure not to maintain eye contact for too long, as though you're a dangerous fickle animal. "Did you hurt yourself?"

You hiss threateningly at the question but he still reaches for your perpetually bloated foot. Gently, he massages it, flashing you a dumb innocent smile. Still sullen, you at least allow him to do that much.

Fine, you do not completely hate having your man work from home. 

“I can’t help the fact that I’m so goddamn moody all the freaking time...” 

“Moody?” You cross your arms over your chest and Jaebeom chuckles, shaking his head. “You're the living definition of serene honey... You're the best. I love you.”

“Shuddup.” Groaning at the fake compliment, you offer your second foot after a minute of pampering, slightly appeased. “Stop trying so hard, it turns me into a cliché bitch.” You don't miss Jaebeom’s grimace at the word, but he isn't brave enough to correct you again. “Tell you what, if the baby's first word is a swear... I’ll do everything you ask of me for a year.”

"Everything? A whole year?” Raising his eyebrows suggestively, Jaebeom leans in for a lengthy kiss. “You know I can't say no to a promise like that. I would abuse that power, I’m quite imaginative.” You laugh against his mouth, sliding your arms around his neck for him to linger a little longer. Your hub has one hell of a gift, he can always change your mood, even on the worst days. That being said, you're always in the mood for some sexy time with him lately. You just have limited positions and flexibility. “I might teach the Shrimp your favourite cusses just to win that privilege.”

“You wouldn't dare.”

Laughing, Jaebeom sits back but you follow, managing to climb him without difficulty. It's clear he has started something with his massage, stirred your desire. “I’m not done,” he warns pointlessly, not talking about you, "I'm working hard." He points his chin to the studio, but you don't climb down. There's no way he believes you will let him go back to his office right now.

“Very hard yeah,” chuckling, you pull at the collar of his shirt, “Mister Producer.” He breaks the kiss to get rid of the piece of clothing himself, eager to entertain your favourable disposition. Some sacrifices are harder to make than others, and taking a break from work for quick sex is a no brainer. Your hands roam his shoulders, even after all this time you still can't get enough. “Did you save it?” Nudging your nose to his, you pull away to throw your loose gown over your head. 

Jaebeom groans, already expertly unhooking your bra, “Of course I saved, but I’ll need to get back to it...” His mouth explores your neck and you throw your head back, savouring every single one of his kisses. “Feeling better?” He hums, lightly sucking your skin and you moan. Fine, having your man work from home is the best damn thing that ever happened to you. At your natural response, Jaebeom cups your swollen breasts, thumbs rubbing circles on your areolas. 

“Shit.” Instantly, he shushes in disapproval making you laugh. You lean into him as much as your 29 weeks belly allows. “I can't help myself, I'm too sensitive.”

“I can see that baby,” Jaebeom marvels as his constant stroking of your nipples makes your thighs jerk. “I read third-semester’ orgasms are incredibly intense...” You rise to your knees to slide his fleece jogger pants down, smoothly freeing his erection. These darn books sure reveal some useful information sometimes… “What do you think?”

“Oh, how would I possibly know that?” He stops altogether, freezing under you at the joke. Barely two days prior, you finished twice before he did – very expressively – but still, he hesitates. For a man as skilled as he is, it sure is easy to make him question himself. Jaebeom is contemplating his life, a dubious look on his face when you take his cock in your palm. His eyes shut, goosebumps spreading on his body at your touch. Smirking, you stroke him leisurely, “I guess you’ll have to keep working hard so we can find out.” You say that but really, you’ve been so hypersensitive lately, he could make you reach your high without even trying.

“You know...” Opening his eyes lazily, Jaebeom frowns; “I'm not sure how I feel… About the Shrimp is hearing all our sexy talk...” It's your turn to stop everything.

Oh no, he did not just say that… Not after all the stuff he put you through!

“I swear to God, Im fucking Jaebeom! I let you have your way until now; I gave up caffeine, cheese and fish…” Suddenly livid, you start checking things off of your fingers. “You are worried of dumb stuff you read about despite the doctor's best opinion... So, I let you hire a cleaning service; I stopped driving myself around and dyeing my hair; I allowed you to post our ultrasounds all over your socials; I didn't say anything when you sent the cats away to your mom's…” His mouth is open in awe as you angrily go on. He's clearly racking his brain to find out what he said wrong. Him and his stupid pregnancy obsessions. “But this... This is where I draw the fucking line Jaebeom. If you stop making love to me because it creeps you out... Honest to God, I will murder you. I don't care what the baby hears. The doctor said it was safe. I want sex, I need sex. Give me sex, or I'll destroy you.”

“Honey,” Jaebeom bites his lips, struggling to conceal his amusement, “I wasn’t saying we should stop. It doesn't bother me like that...” His right palm rubs your lower back in repetition to ease you. “I was just wond–”

“I don't care what you wonder about,” you interrupt, still down, “just do me.”

Before Jaebeom can fully laugh at you flaring over nothing again, you're kissing him roughly, intended on getting your way. Wriggling under you to get to a better angle, he doesn't seem too affected, simply enjoying the hormonal rollercoaster ride. One of the actual perks of your pregnancy is being in the mood quickly and it's more than just your desire, it's physical too. Something that is undeniable when his hand finds its way between your legs. You're ready for him already, wet and messy. Though you rock into his palm briefly, there's only one thing on your mind right this instant. 

You don't want to wait any longer to feel him inside you. You use Jaebeom's shoulder as a fulcrum to position yourself, raising on your knees and he helps, holding his cock as you gradually sink down. Once you're sitting back on him on the couch, filled, you pause, dropping your forehead to his. Eye to eye, out of focus, Jaebeom pecks your lips tenderly. His hands caress your belly on their way to the side of your thighs. That's enough to make you soft all over again. The power that man holds over you knows no limit. Careful, you rise, rocking your hips forward to add friction before sliding back down. This lazy back and forth goes on for a while and every time you fall down and your ass meets his thighs with a clap, you feel like breaking. 

“Okay?” Jaebeom mumbles, using his strength to firmly guide you upwards. You're thankful for his help because you're heavy and tired. You nod, letting out a weird throaty sound when he fills you up once more.

Jaebeom chuckles, entertained by your acute senses and unusual reactions. Sliding on the large couch to lay, he makes sure you follow closely, riding him. From this position, he can take better control, raising his hips to slam into you. You coo when he does, hovering above to let him have his way. You're already too taken by so little. There's a gentle thud in your belly at the shift of position but Jaebeom doesn't seem to feel the baby stir, awakened by your unrest. Thank God, because the last thing you want right now is for him to stop or slow down. It's not something abnormal or new at all, but now that the baby's movements are getting more noticeable from the outside, you wouldn't be surprised if it messed up with Jaebeom's sexy groove. In the dark, he picks a swift pace, thrusting faster but lighter, making sure to stretch this moment for as long as you both can.

Yet, you're shaky and unfocused, unable to calm yourself. Way too fast, you come undone, overwhelmed by the friction and pleasure. Ecstatic, you drop on your hands, on all fours, as your intense orgasm washes through you. Aware you're peaking already, Jaebeom maintains his rhythm, breathlessly laughing at your shortage of stamina. Sure, he was right, pregnancy orgasms are amazing but they also come almost unannounced and are ridiculously exhausting.

Losing the smile, Jaebeom frowns in concentration, probably trying to finish too. After a whole minute, you're still being carried by your own paroxysm, core quavering when his hips halt altogether. Sighing deeply, he cums in spurts inside you, letting go probably more hastily than he would have wanted to. He's a team player. He knows you won't be able to handle him for long after oversensitivity hits you.

Afterwards, you both stay like that for a moment – as one – trying to repossess yourselves. Some days, it's like you're an entirely different person. Food doesn't taste the same, you yell at your caring husband over nothing and your orgasms are absurdly drawn-out. 

“Hey,” Jaebeom speaks up after an eternity and you take it as a cue to pull away, letting him fall out of you, “that was very quick. Are you alright, was it good?” Typical of him lately, being so overly concerned, you snort. Reaching for the tissue box on the coffee table, he offers them up so you can clean yourself. Still overpowered, you nod, laying back naked on the couch to do so.

What a sight it must be, a stranded whale in the middle of his living room.

Jaebeom doesn't seem to see that though. Transfixed, he positions himself to comfortably kiss and hold your heavy belly. His fingers linger, tracing patterns over the stretched skin. “What about you Shrimp?” He asks mouth pressed to the bump, tickling. “How are you doing?” Sure enough, the baby rolls, following the sound of his familiar reassuring voice. 

“We definitely woke her up”, you announce casually, grabbing one of his hands to position it better. Now that it's over, hopefully, he won't mind or get weirded out by that idea. “And you’ll need another nickname, we're both getting huge.”

“Sorry,” Jaebeom apologizes with adoration when there's a more obvious kick. To him, his baby girl's tumbling never gets old. To you neither, but it's a different sensation entirely. Whispering in confidence, he adds, “You'll always be a shrimp to me." At the words, you can't help the flutters you feel, not from the baby. When he looks up this time, Jaebeom doesn't seem as apprehensive of your reaction. You're on the magical post-coital cloud of happiness, together. “What?” If it could, your heart would physically expand from emotion at the sight, swelling with unconditional love. As an only answer, you run a hand through his locks and he cutely grins. “Shrimp, I think we're safe for now. I don't think mommy wants to murder daddy anymore...”

“Daddy needs to get over himself,” you dramatically roll your eyes, smiling, “he knows mommy loves him, no matter what…”

GOT7 | M.list

[progressivestupidity]

IZ week 2020

so i wasn’t gonna do this because I didn’t think the prompts were very good for writing to, but I remembered the last day’s prompt was “role swap” so I decided to do something small and quick for it. this is all 7 days in one post. the first and last ones are drabbles and one of them is an au idea

@invader-zim-week​ here u go!!!

Day 1. Angst or Fluff 

Zim’s denial skills are god tier, but even they have their limits.

Drabble. I think this is the turning point for my eventual found family au

“When are you going to get it through your thick head that the Tallests aren’t coming?” Dib flings his arms out wide in his exasperation

“They’re just…!” Zim fumbles a bit, clenching and unclenching his fists. “The Armada is a million light years away! It takes time to travel that far, obviously. It took me six of your months to get here from Conventia and the Massive is further away from here now than that. They’ll come! You’ll see! And then you’ll be sorry!” Zim’s face is drawn tight. He’s tense all over, shoulders drawn up to his jaw, antennae pressed flat to his head, and normally Dib prides himself on reading Zim like an open book, but he’s too far gone in his own annoyance to see the warning signs.

It’s because he doesn’t see these red flags that Dib proceeds to stick his own foot in his mouth with his next words. “Maybe if you weren’t such an idiot and opened your eyes, you’d see the truth—that they dumped you here to get rid of you.”

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?” Zim explodes, planting his tiny hands in Dib’s chest and shoving. The boy lands painfully on his ass. “I’m not stupid, Dib.” His name is spat like an insult. “I know they don’t care about me! Why do you think I try so hard?”

Dib gapes at Zim, looking up at him for once, stunned into silence. “I.” He swallows. “You know?”

“Of course, I know.” Zim’s voice is a low hiss and his eyes are narrowed to slits. “You don’t get banished and then just get over it. You don’t get put on trial to defend your life, forced to relive your worse mistakes, and get sentenced to death, only to be saved by freak miracle, and never acknowledge it happened.” Zim takes a deep breath and crosses his arms over his chest. Dib supposes he means for it to look intimidating, but it looks more like he’s holding himself together. “I’ve always known.”

“Why do you try so hard then? If you’ve always known there was no point?” Dib has to ask, has to know, has to hear the words from Zim’s own mouth.

Zim purses his lips and turns away. “There was always a point.” He falls silent for a moment, one antenna twitching up a bit in thought. “I just… I thought if I was just a little better, if I accomplished something important for once, that… I don’t know, that maybe I’d.” He pauses and grits his teeth. “Maybe if I actually managed to take over this filthy planet I’d be worth something for once.”

Day 2. Be Gay Do Crime (LGBTQA+ headcannons)

Dib is bi/pan/demi-ro, Gaz is lesbian, Zim is ace/demi-ro

Headcanons.

Dib seems like the kind of guy that would both take whatever kind of relationship he could get, but also appreciate it. Dib isn’t afraid to work for what he wants and isn’t afraid of things that are “not normal” so I see him being the type to not care about the gender of whoever he eventually decides to date. However, because Dib’s been burned in the past, he would need a deep and sincere emotional relationship to see someone as a potential romantic partner.

Gaz is just a big lesbian. Girls, man.

Zim is ace all the way baby!!! He’s just not interested, and sure, part of that is me projecting, but it just feels right for Zim to just… not care. He has no interest and doesn’t care for sexual attraction regardless of whether or not Irkens do/can/will have sex or not. On the other hand, Zim has expressed a softer side before and I can see him being able to maybe eventually develop romantic feelings for someone if he actually manages to get close enough to them for those kinds of feelings to even emerge. It would take a lot of time and a deep, meaningful friendship, but Zim has shown he’s capable of love. He just has to let himself feel it.

  Day 3. Fandom Appreciation

Found family fuck yeah

Headcanons.

I’m still in the process of thinking about how I wanna go about my found family au so here’s just some initial ideas

After ETF, Zim self isolates for a bit. The florpus hole was his Last Ditch Effort plan and had it succeeded, he knew he would have been destroyed too. He was okay with it. He had made peace with it. However, it failed, and now he’s forced to reflect on said failure

The Massive doesn’t escape the florpus. They’re gone, completely. If they the ship does manage to get out, it’s not in one piece

I initially couldn’t decide if The Trial should come Before ETF or After but I think im gonna say before so the Massive doesn’t have to come back lmao

Before too long, Zim jumps back into the planning/scheming swing of things, but his ideas are never more than petty crimes and being a huge annoyance

Dib gets really annoyed with him and they have a big argument

Zim finally admits to knowing of his own Defectiveness

Dib reluctantly feels bad for him and backs off a bit to let Zim have his space

Zim, however, sees this as a betrayal and redoubles his efforts to get his attention

Somewhere along the way, Skoodge comes back and Zim backs off of Dib a bit, having someone else to focus attention on

Dib eventually begins to offer Zim his hand in friendship (phrased as a truce at first) and they finally make steps towards getting along

They realize they actually really like being friends

Zim eventually realizes that he’s made a life for himself, outside of the Empire

Eventually Zim, Skoodge, GIR, Minimoose, Dib, and Gaz form their own little family and explore space and hunt cryptids

(I love cryptid hunter and space exploration aus holy shit)

Day 4. If IZ had a different setting/time period

Cyberpunk??? Sure

Potential idea maybe.

Cyberpunk dystopian future

Aliens and humans intermingle, both on and off Earth

The Irken Empire has gotten bigger

Technology is advanced and cybernetics are widely known/produced

Idk man I don’t know a lot about cyberpunk, maybe this should be more for the aesthetic

Day 5. Aesthetic

Big shrug man idk

Headcanons, thoughts.

I’m a big fan of fashion Zim, and whenever I get the chance I give him clothes that are both cute and comfortable

Galaxy print leggings are a personal favorite of mine to give him

One time I wrote a little ficlet/oneshot where he wore a skirt. I should publish that some day

Uhhhhhh okay so. Dib has veeeeeery big early 2000s emo/punk vibes tbh

Scene kid GIR always makes me laugh

Gaz could pull off pastel goth like no one’s business

I’ve been here long enough to witness emo/scene hair wig Zim and his eventual fall lmfao

Pretty much everyone that redesigned them back in the day gave Zim emo kid hair that fall perfectly over one eye it was WILD

 Day 6. What if IZ was a different Genre?

Uhhhh does “fantasy instead of scifi” count?

Potential idea maybe. (oops it ended up being a fantasy/modern magic au haha ooooops)

Instead of being an alien, I had the idea of, maybeeeeee Irkens are like. Elves maybe, or perhaps some kind of fae. (I don’t know much about fae, oops)

Okay bear with me here, this is all coming together in real time.

The Irkens (which is what I’m gonna call their clan or faction or subrace or whatever) still want to be the rulers or something over the humans/other mystical beings. This world of magic is hidden from humans and they live blissfully unaware. There are invaders all over the place, using magic and glamors to trick humans into thinking they’re also humans. Zim is one such invader and just to happens to end up in Dib’s town, whereupon he enrolls in Dib’s school, pretending to be a transfer student.

I have no idea why or how the Irkens invade or what methods they use, but since my biggest experience with elves is through DND, I’m going to say they’re functionally similar to certain DND elf races.

So anyway, Zim ends up in Dib’s class and Zim’s glamor just Doesn’t Work on Dib for whatever reason (maybe Dib passed his Wisdom saving throw while literally everyone else failed, idk) and so Dib can immediately see Zim for what he is.

Dib is still into paranormal type stuff, though in his world, he’s less about cryptids and aliens and more about the magical species/world(s) that he KNOWS exists. His big goal in his au is similar to canon in that he wants to expose it all for recognition and love from his father.

Zim, meanwhile, he just wants to prove himself, just like canon. I can’t decide how I want the Irken hierarchy to go in this au—that’s something to think about later, when I have more time—but whatever it is, Zim is either a) not very good at it, b) not suited for it, c) ridiculed for not fitting in to it, or d) a combination of any or all of these things. (or secret option e) he rejects it but has no where else to go. On the other hand, it maybe be none of these things.)

GIR is here too though he’s probably not a robot. Maybe he’s another kind of magical being, or, hell, maybe he’s just Zim’s little brother. I’d be okay with that.

Gaz can also see through glamors but she just doesn’t care. Tak shows up at some point to get revenge, and Skoodge also shows up at some point to stay with Zim and be his friend.

Zim is bad at blending in at first, but he eventually Does get better, since he’s not totally isolated from other Irkens here and he also doesn’t Look like an alien.

(I’m thinkin’ elves in this au look Mostly human but with a few differences. Since I’m biased and this is MY fantasy world, damnit, elves are just. Really Pretty. Ethereal and elegant and graceful (for the most part—there are always exceptions) and they’re also great at magic. Maybe Zim isn’t all that great at magic, I dunno. I’ll figure something out.)

This ended up being less of a genre change and more of a whole ass au, lol oops

Day 7. Role swap

Chanting: human zim au human zim au human zim au human zi

Drabble. This is for an ongoing species swap au that i’ve had in development for the last few years. i haven’t posted anything for it yet, but I’ve thought about it a lot

Dib freezes as Zim points the plastic water gun at his head. Zim’s eyes are narrowed, lips pursed, and he adjusts his grip almost nervously. Behind him, Gir is holding a bucket full of water balloons and a pair of neon green star shaped sunglasses. It’d be cute if Dib wasn’t aware of how painful Earth water is to his Irken skin.

Zim finally lowers his gun slightly. “I want some answers, alien.” He looks Dib over with critical eyes. “Who are you really, and why are you here?” He reaches back and Gir hands him a water balloon with a big smile. “And you better tell the truth or I’ll bust this over your big head.”

Dib grimaces and watches the balloon. “My name Dib, and I’m a scientist. I’m an Irken, from Irk, and I’m here to learn more about life on this planet.” He holds his hands up, hoping to placate the human gesture for surrender. “I’m not here to harm you or anyone else, promise.”

Zim huffs. “Yeah right. I bet you just came here to laugh at the locals.” He puts on a mocking voice and waves the gun and balloon as he speaks. “‘Stupid, stinking humans. They can’t even travel beyond their own moon, yet. What morons. I bet they descended from pigs with how horrible and stupid they are.’” He jams the gun against Dib’s chest. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Dib bites his lower lip and looks away. He can’t deny he hasn’t thought something similar since arriving on Earth, but Zim didn’t have to be so crude and blunt about it.

The two are at a standoff for almost a minute before Zim blows out a long sigh and steps back. He turns to put the balloon back in the bucket, gives Gir a pat on the head, and shoots Dib one last glare. “Stay away from me, Dib. I have enough problems to deal with without having to worry about whether or not it’s safe for my brother to go to school or if I need to watch my back while walking my dog.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” Dib says, a little put out.

Zim scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. I know better than to believe it.” He turns and tries to smile at Gir but it comes out a little twisted and sad. “C’mon Gir. Let’s go home and get Minimoose and take him to that dog park you like so much.”

Gir gasps and lets out a cheer. “Can we go get ice cream afterwards?”

Zim gives a little laugh, smile turning a bit more genuine. “Yeah, sounds good.”

As they walk away Dib can’t help but wonder why he ever thought Zim was an Irken himself.

[purrfectstrangers]

Another great story from Gamzanon! I dunno what I did to deserve to pot all their short stories, but I'm happy to bring you yet another~

As always, be aware this is vore and digestion heavy, so readers squeamish about that, catch a different one <3

Fanboy Bellies

(I'm so sorry for the delay. My muse for the Dave prompt just flat out died... so here's a Hiveswap story instead. It's my first time writing these characters, so I hope it satisfies~)

[You literally always satisfy, my dude ;3]

~

Zebede couldn't believe that this was really happening.

He was to attend a Cirava Hermod concert. Cirava. Hermod. The vaporwave legend that had defined a generation was going to appear live on stage. And he was going to be able to see them. It was almost, no, it was completely unbelievable. Zebede was practically vibrating where he stood. With his round shape and his black and yellow color scheme, he already looked like a bee. Now he almost sounded like one too.

A pair of grey fingers snapped impatiently in front of his face, dragging Zebede back into reality.

"♤Are you just going to stand there all night? I need you to pull your weight here!♤"

"i'm sorry. i spaced out."

Yes, that's right. He wasn't here to just to see Cirava.

You see, Cirava was an online musician. The only reason they were at a concert was because they were challenged to a rap battle by one Marvus Xoloto.

Such an event naturally attracted fans of all stripes, including one particularly obsessive blueblood. Both Zebruh and Zebede wanted to... meet their respective idols, so the two decided to hatch a plan. Or, rather, Zebruh dragged Zebede into his.

"♢Now, do you remember the plan?♢"

Even when crouching behind a wall, Zebruh was still a lot taller then the young yellowblood. Enough so that he could probably rest his head in between Zebede's horns in the right position. Zebede pulled a jar of bees out of his hoodie pocket, taking a deep, steadying breath as he tried to focus. 

"ok guyz. i need you to do me thiz one big favor." Zebede whispered into the jar. "please." With another steadying breath, Zebede pulled off the lid.

The loudly buzzing swarm flew off around the corner, leaving Zebruh and Zebede to watch as security noticed the cloud.

"Wha-what the Hell!"

The large purple guard shielding their face as the swarm clouded around their head, twitching and twisting hither, thither, and fro in a desperate attempt to keep the bees out of their eyes. "Dammit! Leave me alone!" The clown swung their club wildly in a vain attempt to keep the bugs out of their eyes. They ran off cussing and flailing as the swarm persisted in its assault.

The two Zs waited for the buzzing to fall out of earshot before commenting. 

"♧...I'm going to be honest... that shouldn't have worked.♧"

"you'd be suprised. they're pretty reliable."

The two stood up and approached the Staff Only door. That was it. The one obstacle between them and their idols.

"♡I suppose this is where we part ways.♡" Zebruh gave a big dramatic bow, making sure to adjust his bowtie along the way. "♡As a lowblood ally, it has been my honor to unite a yellow fellow with his idol. I do hope you keep this favor in mind in the future.♡"

If Zebede noticed the slightly sinister intone of his voice, he didn't say so. "oh, yez. i will. honest, thiz iz the nicest anyone'z been to me for a very long time." His face deflated and his smile fell. "...it'z also the longest anyone haz ever interacted with me in a long time, come to think of it."

Zebruh pushed the door open, dramatically ushering him inside. "♡When we meet up again, we can interact plenty.♡" He winked and, again, adjusted his bowtie. "♡Until then, I have a date with a popular, promiscuous purpleblood.♡"

As the two walked in separate directions through the backstage area, a telltale gurgle escaped their guts and echoed down the halls. It's not every day you get to meet a celebrity. They're not going to waste this opportunity~

~

Cirava exhaled another puff of smoke, their room positively flooding with polluted green air. The condensed heat threatened to cook them alive as it left their form drenched in sweat. They let out a long, satisfied sigh as the drugs filtered through their body. Yeah, that was the stuff. A good smoke always got their head in the game before a song.

The door creaking open didn't catch their attention, but sudden loud coughing did. Cirava rolled their head over to see a round little troll waving smoke out of his face as his coughed and wheezed. They just stared as Zebede got his barrings again, watching his eyes widen as the two made eye contact. "well you're not security".

Zebede nervously rubbed the back of his head as he dared to step closer, waving smoke out of his face again when he had to suppress a cough. The room's heat was making him sweat just as much as his nerves were as he cleared his throat. "um, hi? zebede tongza. i'm a big fan."

Zebede held out his hand timidly, which Cirava shook without any fan fare, leaving Zebede to stare at his hand in awe as they pulled back. "cirava hermod. but im guessing you knew that lmao."

Zebede's face slowly split into a grin. "yeah... yeah! it'z good to finally meet you." Cirava stood, popping their back as they casually stretched. 

"dont mention it. youre cool. had me a little worried when you showed up without a pass tho." Zebede looked away, either embarrassed or ashamed. Cirava was too busy fishing a piece of paper from their pocket to care. "here's your autograph." They said nonchalantly. Zebede grabbed their wrist instinctively.

Zebede's mind sputtured and spurred to a halt as he stared. 

Right there, on that small piece of paper, in a lowercase, golden font, was the Cirava Hermod's name.

Cirava Hermod's autograph.

Cirava Hermod is giving him their autograph.

Just as Zebede began to process that information, a scent crept into his nose.

A heavy, mouthwatering scent. A smell more intoxicating then the poisonous green smoke that surrounded him. 

It was Cirava's scent. And they smelled wonderful.

Zebede's stomach growled.

"hey are you gonna let go sometime soon?"

Zebede looked up. "oh. sorry." Zebede plucked the note out of Cirava's grasp before pocketing. Now, he held their hand in front of him like a nice big burger. "i swear i'm sorry about thiz, but... i can't pasz thiz opportunity up."

With that, he promptly shoved Cirava's hand into his maw.

Cirava tried to pull their hand out as Zebede slobered all over it, savoring their flavor. "what the fuck." Cirava tried to pry his mouth open, only for Zebede to grab his free hand and shovel it into his mouth. "alright seriously. let go!" Zebede was pulled out of his blissful stupor as Cirava continued to struggle and shout. He shrugged apologetically before grabbing them by the horns and pulling their entire head into his mouth. He could risk them attracting any guards, or else he'd take his time savoring their taste.

Cirava's horns bulged out his cheeks as they thrashed around back and forth. Their feet beat desperately against the floor as his tongue coated their face in golden saliva. Zebede almost moaned as their salty, sweaty flavor overloaded his taste buds. Their scent continued to drift directly into his nose, leaving him drooling around his thrashing meal. It wasn't long before he greedily shoveled Cirava's head down his throat.

Zebede was already so pudgy that you couldn't tell from the outside looking in that Cirava's hands had reached his gut. At most, you'd be able to hear their muffled yelling coming from his midsection, but Zebede didn't notice that either. He was too busy slobbering on Cirava's torso. Still, even as caught up in his gluttonous fever as he was, still tried to avoid loosening their binder.

Another swallow finally distended his gut a little bit. Cirava's head outlined in his ballooning gut as they continued to swear and scream. His gut gurgled eagerly as Zebede closed in on those limply kicking legs. It wouldn't be long now.

Zebede tilted his head backwords and slurped up those flailing limbs like noodles. His gut completely ballooned out as his entire meal fell into it at once, forcing a massive belch out of his mouth. Zebede's gut gurgled eagerly around his vainly struggling celebrity snack, giving him time to catch his breath. The air had sense cleared, the green smoke drifting out of the open doorway, allowing Zebede to hyperventilate as what he just did caught up with him.

"i... ate you." Zebede's eyes began to shine, his face splitting into a massive, ear-reaching grin. "i actually are you. thiz iz so cool!"

Zebede belched again, not even stopping to be embarrassed as he began massaging his thrashing gut. "you were do deliciouz and juicy and filling... thiz iz amzaing! you were everything i thought you'd be."

Even with his body weighed down by a stomach that nearly doubled him in size, Zebede managed to bounce up and down on the balls of his feet. "i've wanted to eat you for so long, ever sense i first saw you, and now, oh, thank you so much!"

Zebede pulled his gut into a tight hug, resting his head atop Cirava's. "thankz for everything. you've made me the happiest troll on alternia." 

If Cirava had any response to that, it was drowned out by Zebede's grumbling gut.

~

Marvus blinked as he examined himself in the mirror, carefully checking his face paint for any imperfections. It was something he took seriously, even with his laid back personality. His face was on billboards. He couldn't afford a smudge.

Even still, his laid back smile didn't drop as he heard his door creak open. "Zeb. Bro. Buddy. Didn't I tell u bout comin back here?" Zebruh froze in the doorway, hand instinctively grasping at his bowtie to steady himself. He took a deep breath before walking in. 

"♡Oh, come on, darling. If you'd only give me a chance I...♡" Zebruh paused as Marvus spun around in his chair. The clown's posture was relaxed. His face was perfectly calm. He still had that lazy, carefree smile on his face. It just mad his red eyes stand out that much more.

"Thought I made it clear I don't want u round here." Marvus stood up. His massive body towering a full head over Zebruh. "Thought we'd had dis convo bout thirty times now. Round thirty two or so?"

Zebruh backed up against the wall, about to open his mouth in protest when the singer unsheathed the sword from his cane. His chin was made to rest on the blade as Marvus leaned on over him. The body heat coming off of him was palpable and Zebruh could smell the sweat running down his skin, some of it trying and failing to seep out from under his paint. "Zeb. I'm gon give it to ya straight. I don't want ur blud on me. I just cleaned dis suit. I justabout got my paint on. And I don't wanna get my hair gunked up. So I'm gonna let ya turn round now, kay?"

Zebruh forced himself to meet those eyes as they bore into him. Everything about this was starting to drive him mad. The heat of his breath, the size of his body, and that sweet smell.

Zebruh's stomach growled.

Taking his silence as an affirmation, Marvus plopped himself back down in his seat, picking at his face in the mirror. Zebruh practically throttled his tie as his tried to catch his breath, blood pumping in his ears as his stomach roared once again.

He always wanted to eat Marvus. Ever sense he saw Marvus he'd want to eat him.

But that smell.

He could practically taste it.

Marvus didn't notice Zebruh approach him not until his chair swirled around and his vision was suddenly eclipsed by dark blue slime. Zebruh moaned as his tongue lavished the idol's face, smearing his facepaint as it mixed with his sweat on Zebruh's taste buds, creating an intoxicating flavor that left the blueblood drooling.

Zebruh could've tasted his head for hours... if Marvus's hands hadn't clamped onto his neck.

Laid back or not, Marvus was still a purple blood. A purple blood who had no more patience for Zebruh's shenanigans. Zebruh tried to pry his hands open, but it did nothing to deter the bigger, stronger clown as he stood up and squashed Codakk's windpipe.

In a moment of panic, Zebruh kneed Xoloto in the gut, knocking his grip loose long enough for Zebruh's maw to wrap around those broad shoulders. Zebruh moaned again as his tongue slid across Marvus's chest, coating his pecs in blue saliva.

Zebruh kicked Marvus's discarded cane aside as he saw the clown grope for it before swallowing again. His gut bulged out from under his suit, showing off the outline of Marvus's face for all to see as Zebruh savored his now helpless meal.

Zebruh swallowed again, leaving only Marvus's kicking legs free from his maw. He spun around and planted himself in the chair, tilting his head up to let gravity drag Marvus's ass across his tongue. He chewed and kneaded that taught bubble butt as it slipped into his throat, before casually slurping up those pesky flailing legs.

The ensuing belch was nearly loud and crass enough to shatter the mirror. Blue spit flew everywhere as the clown curled up inside his new home. Zebruh shamelessly moaned as he felt the struggles start up. "♡Darling. You tasted so much better then you had any right too." 

Zebruh spun around and admired his giant gut in the mirror. Following the outline of Marvus's struggles as his hands massaged his tightly wrapped form. "◇Now, I know this must be hard for you. But I can hardly call myself an ally if I don't treat castes equally. And I've eaten quite a few lowbloods in my day." Zebruh swiped Marvus's hat off the mirror and rested it over his eyes. He reclined the chair back and pat his gut again.

"♡Please, darling. Kick back. Relax. And enjoy your stay. I promise I'll take good care of you~♡"

~

Both Zebruh and Zebede enjoyed every second of digestion. Zebede simply couldn't stop gushing about Cirava's work while Zebruh smoothly soothed Marvus's every move.

This continued even as punches turned to pleads and anger melted into fear. Zebruh was always happy to hear his food beg. Zebede was just happy to listen to his idol at all. 

As the hours ticked by and the guts rounded out, the two Z's examined their gains. They flaunted their heavier behinds with pride and declared that they would never shed these pounds.

As the fanboys gathered their mementos, collected discarded laptops and canes, their guts gurgled eagerly.

They licked their lips and wondered if they'd see their fellow fanboy on the way out. Because they both had plenty of room for desert~

[mobius-prime]

222. Sonic the Hedgehog #154

Songoose (Part 2 of 2)

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Jason Jensen

Today's issue is a bit bittersweet. While Karl Bollers hasn't always been the most popular writer, and I've definitely had my fair share of problems with certain aspects of his writing, it's hard to deny the heavy impact he had on the world of the comic. And this just so happens to be his last issue as a writer! That's right, though we've seen various writers come and go, this is the first time we're truly saying goodbye to a head writer. (You might be wondering about Michael Gallagher given his increasingly infrequent involvement with the series, but fear not, he's still got a few more future issues left in 'im.) Apparently he actually had quite a few plans for the storyline and characters post-StH#134, which was a while ago, but for one reason or another these never came to fruition, and never even had a chance to be salvaged for future issues by other writers due to his leaving the comic. So let's dedicate this issue to ol' Karl and the hard work he put into this comic, and appreciate what he brought to the table over the years. Onward!

It's the night of Mina's second concert, and the various Freedom Fighters are positioned at strategic points around and behind the stage and crowd to guard the venue from any more assassination attempts. Mina is pleased with Sonic's involvement in her protection detail, but Ash is considerably less so, and asks to speak to Mina privately before her performance. Sonic initially tries to refuse to leave her side given his duty to her, but when Ash gets in his face about it Mina steps in and tells Sonic she'll be okay to have a quick chat. Sonic reluctantly leaves the dressing room, and Ash confronts Mina about her decision to go through with tonight's concert, as he really feels it's too dangerous. She reiterates her feeling of security with Sonic around, and Ash's feelings of jealousy finally spill out as he details Sonic's perceived failings, including how he (totally unintentionally mind you) broke her heart a year ago by kissing Sally in front of her. He paradoxically refuses to "forgive" Sonic for… not dating Mina, I guess? Which you'd think he'd be pleased about considering that's the only reason he ever got to date her, but she stands firm against his tirade.

Really bad timing on this, Ash. Honestly, though, as abrasive and jealous as Ash can be, he's not wrong at all about his accusations, and in my opinion has every right to feel slighted and upset. He really does seem like a guy who's flawed yet genuinely likable - I mean, put yourself in his shoes (assuming you're not down for open relationships) and tell me you wouldn't feel the exact same way upon seeing your girlfriend routinely eyeing up another guy. Plus, he isn't flaky - notice that despite breaking up with Mina, he explicitly states his intentions to remain as her band manager. A lesser person might have left their ex high and dry out of spite, but despite their disagreement he's still completely ready and willing to help her organize everything she needs to remain a pop star. Careful, Mina, you better remember "Aly's" advice to you from a few issues ago before you let this guy slip through your fingers…

Outside the room, Sonic gets a call from Sally looking for an update, and when he lets slip that he let her stay in her dressing room alone Sally scolds him for not sticking to her like glue, ordering him back into the room to check on her. When he enters he's surprised to see her sitting alone with a sad expression, asking her what's bothering her. You'd think he'd have some clue of what was wrong considering he would have just seen Ash angrily stomping right through the very door he was guarding, but Mina just says she doesn't know how to explain, which Sonic quietly agrees with the sentiment of. She's able to collect herself for her performance, though, and begins by singing another song that definitely feels inspired by her crush on Sonic. However, Eggman's plan to kill her is still moving ahead, and he sends out Heavy and Bomb (well, Bombs, there's a lot of them) to infiltrate the concert crowd once the concert is well underway.

Sonic immediately grabs Mina and pulls her away from the edge of the stage while the rest of the Freedom Fighters rush in to battle the Bombs, something which I find funnier than it should be considering they're, well, bombs, and the best plan for dealing with bombs on legs would usually be to run the hell away from them before they blow up. Nevertheless, they seem to be holding their own by throwing or smacking the Bombs away before they explode, though Ash finds an excuse in the situation to insist once more than Sonic leave so he can protect Mina on his own, even somewhat spitefully pointing out that Mina was fine without Sonic for an entire year before now. Sonic initially refuses, but when Heavy himself arrives, crashing down onto the stage to target Mina directly, Sonic concedes and tells Ash to take her somewhere safe while he fights the robot one on one. At first Sonic teases and trash talks as normal, but when Heavy gives him more trouble than he bargained for he concocts a plan to drill into the earth and bait Heavy into following him, then drill straight into the nearby lake from below. This washes them both out into the open waters, disabling Heavy in the process. I'm not sure exactly how this plan even works, considering we've seen in previous issues that Heavy is waterproof - I mean, did Eggman take out that feature when he rebuilt him? - but either way, it does work, though Sonic falls unconscious once he gets washed out. Man, between his first battle against M in StH#132 and his easy escape from a watery grave in Anti-Mobius just a few issues ago, it really seems like later comic issues like to play fast and loose with the whole "he can't swim" character trait. Sometimes he can detangle himself from tight rope bonds and swim to safety without a problem, and other times he blacks out within scant seconds of touching water, and you never know which one you're gonna get till the plot calls for it. Of course, he's fine after waking up on shore, having been rescued by Bunnie, and the Freedom Fighters tell him that as far as they can tell they disabled or destroyed every Bomb in the area, meaning Mina is safe once more. With the threat ended, Sonic and Mina say goodbye to each other for the night, with Sonic making Mina promise they'll go out for chili dogs sometime soon. However, this wouldn't be a story if something didn't go wrong…

I like to think that this isn't even a case of the Freedom Fighters randomly missing a Bomb, rather being part of Eggman's plan - send in the big, obvious cavalry first to be fought and predictably defeated, then send in one last little Bomb to finish the job once everyone's guard is down. The explosion alerts everyone outside the backstage area, and they rush in to find Mina sobbing over Ash's body. Don't worry, though - when they rush him to the hospital Dr. Quack is able to get him in a stable condition, meaning that though he has a long slow recovery ahead he'll ultimately be fine. Sonic escorts a distraught Mina into Ash's room, where she admits her true feelings to his sleeping form.

I'm surprised that Sonic genuinely seems a little disappointed at their reconciliation, but then again, he and Mina were clearly shown to have some chemistry even before the time skip, though Sonic was obviously drawn more to Sally. It seems that with he and Sally currently being on the outs, and Mina having split from Ash, he had actually considered taking the chance with her - I mean, they did agree to a chili dog date after all - but now that's obviously not happening. Well, maybe the chili dog date is, but not Sonic and Mina becoming an item. What I'm trying to say is, this page has just sunk your Sonic/Mina ship. Fortunately, with this second failure Eggman has decided that trying to kill Mina is too hard and not worth his time, so she should be safe for now. He still finds himself lamenting the loss of his robotic body, however (something that you'd think should be child's play for him to fix considering previously roboticizing himself is literally part of his backstory), finding his current organic body too breakable. The use of that word suddenly makes him pause, having just come up with a new idea… but Karl certainly won't be the one writing about it, as with that final line of dialogue, he's officially completed his time as head writer for the Archie Sonic comics! Sayonara, Karl Bollers - though there were certainly some rough patches, on the whole I enjoyed your work on the comic, and we'll miss ya!

More Than Meets the Eye

Writer/Pencils: Ken Penders Colors: Josh Ray

…though remember, we are still dealing with Penders for a few more issues yet. Since the mission into Megaopolis a couple issues ago, Rotor, Uncle Chuck, Tommy, Tails, and Snively (plus apparently Fiona, for some reason) have all been hard at work studying and trying to understand the nanites. They try blasting them with a ton of electricity, but when that elicits no response from the nanites Tommy worriedly thinks Snively killed them with the zap, though Snively corrects him that biologically speaking, they're not really "alive," nor is anything that Eggman makes. While you may be technically correct from a scientific standpoint, Snively, I think Nicole might have a thing or two to say about your assertion that machines can't be alive…

Well! It seems Tommy was also unconvinced by Snively's words, and his tear splashing down into the nanite goo triggers some kind of reaction, prompting them to rapidly spread out and reach tendrils of themselves towards him. He's understandably a little freaked out and retreats into his shell, but the nanites don't hurt him as they make contact with the shell - in fact, the sensation is ticklish and causes him to start giggling uncontrollably, which must make for a very weird sight as Uncle Chuck reenters the room to investigate the noise. Tommy assures him that he's all right - and then from out of nowhere, his shell sprouts a pair of goddamn wings, because why the hell not?

I initially took issue with this concept due to it being established canon that the nanites can only absorb and reshape non-living matter, whereas turtle shells are definitely living matter, being full of nerve endings and basically being formed from repurposed bone matter from the turtle's ribs and pelvis. However, the above dialogue seems to indicate that they were able to fuse with Tommy's shell anyway by connecting straight into his nervous system. I would guess that after Sonic introduced the nanites to the concept of organic and synthetic coexistence a couple issues ago, they were just waiting for the chance to "study" an organic specimen in their own weird way, and Tommy just happened to end up as their test subject.  Chuck and Tommy call everyone else in, where he notes that the nanites seem to react to his thoughts without said thoughts actually controlling the nanites directly. He demonstrates this by thinking vaguely that he wants to go somewhere, prompting a pair of jetpack engines to sprout from his shell and ignite, carrying him straight out of the lab and into the sky above Knothole. The others watch with an odd mixture of bemusement and amusement as the nanites fly Tommy's body in a pattern, using contrails to write "We're just going for a test drive" in the air. Well Tommy, looks like you have a really cool and unique new ability! It'd certainly be interesting to be fused with self-replicating nanomachines that react to your thoughts and wishes by morphing themselves in ways to grant those wishes, especially when they seem to actively like their host.

[myherodiehardfan]

promts (i STOLE FROM ALL OVER THE PLACE)

- prompt list -

Prompt List #1 ♛ Imagines

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

“Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry”

“Stay with me”

“Walk out that door and we’re through”

“Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything”

“I can’t breathe”

“I hate how much I love you”

“Why are you so jealous?”

“Where do you think you’re going”

“Just leave me alone”

“I need some time”

“Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself”

“You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!”

“Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”

“Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not.”

“Just talk to me”

“Bite me”

“If you insist”

“I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”

“I think you’re just afraid to be happy”

“Why are you so nice to me”

“Choose me”

“We’ll get through this, I promise”

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”

“You’re mine. I don’t share”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

“If we get caught I’m blaming you”

“Make me”

“Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now”

“I think I forgot how to breath”

“Stop biting that fucking lip!”

“You’re blushing”

“I missed something didn’t I?”

“You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?”

“Well this is awkward”

“Is that my shirt?”

“You look like you need a hug”

“I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies”

“Please come home, I miss you”

“You’re so fucking adorable”

“How can you still look so attractive while crying.”

“I’m pregnant”

“You’re lucky you’re cute”

“Cuddle me.”

“Sometimes I really don’t like you”

“What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“You’re getting crumbs all over my bed”

“Im too sober for this”

“Oh god, I need a drink”

Bad boy writing prompts (warning: mild sexual themes)

“He was sneak out the window past curfew kind of trouble, he was a motorbike ride cross-country kind of trouble, he was the kind of boy your daddy hated. But he was the only man that made you feel alive.” (Oh, Dabi, my dear, I’m looking at you.)

“‘A gentleman would offer me his seat’”    ‘Gentlemen are boring. But you’re free to sit on my lap.’ You narrowed your eyes. He slanted his head innocently, ‘Over my knees then’    ‘Charming, aren’t you’    ‘Only for you, baby’”

“You gawked. Did he seriously just offer ten million yen for your portrait? ‘You want me on your wall?’   ‘Actually, I want you in my bed but you seem to averse sex, so how about it?’”

“I love you more than I hate the rest of the world.”(Hm. A lot of the villains, but especially Shiggy and Overhaul.)

“I seem to have a nasty habit of driving people away.” (A lonesome MC/Reader or my darling Shinso, technically not a bad boy but can be applied hehe)

“Her body was his. His to ravish, to possess, to savor. But he was a selfish man and having just her skin wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more, always more. He desired her heart, her soul, her beautiful mind. Everything. He wanted her. And she will be his.” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (This is as far I will go)

RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS

SHORT

“Marry me.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You are not going without me.”

“I can’t believe you!”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“What did you say?”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“Are you sure this is legal?”

“Isn’t this amazing?”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Stay the night. Please.”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

“Run away with me.”

“You did WHAT?”

“Quit whining.”

“Get outta my sight!”

“Why are you so annoying?”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Never in a million years.”

“Don’t ask me that…”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“What’s with the box?”

“W- What are you doing?”

“Say it!”

“I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“What’s going on here?”

“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”

“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“Did you do this on purpose?!”

“Kiss me.”

“Are you still awake..?”

“Excuse you?”

“This is all your fault!”

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

“It’s not fair!”

“I could kill you right now!”

“Knock it off!”

“Screw you!”

“You’re a complete moron!”

“I love this song!”

“I can’t be in love with you!”

“Make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I hate you.”

“You are infuriating!”

“Just shut up already.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Bite me.”

“Eat me.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“Just admit you’re wrong.”

“You are being ridiculous!”

“That’s irrational.”

“Listen to me!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“That’s it. End of discussion.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Fuck you!”

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“How dare you?”

“I dare you!”

“It’s you, it’s always been you.”

“Well this is awkward…”

“Just pretend to be my date”.  

MISCELLANEOUS

“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”

“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”

“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

“Can I touch your boob?”

“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”

“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”

“Give me cake or give me death.”

“On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”

“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”

“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”

“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

“What have I told you about the toilet seat?”

“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

“I vote today to be a pajama day.”

“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”

“I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”

“This would not happen if I had a penis!”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”

“To the night you’ll never remember!”

“Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?”

“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”

“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.”

“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”

“You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!”

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”

“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”

“I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”

“Look out where you’re going, asshole!”

“Fuck the sandwich guy!”

“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”

“The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”

“I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.”

“There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”  

“There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.”

“It’s midnight, what do you want?”

“I think I know how to use a bed.”

“If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.”

“You are completely unfit to handle a child.”

“We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

“When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”

“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

PREGNANCY

“I have something to tell you…”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant!”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”

“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”

“Pregnancy suits you…”

“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

“I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!”

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”

“Shh… He/she’s sleeping..”

“I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”

“No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”

“Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”

FLUFF

“Your hair is so soft…”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

“Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“What, does that feel good?”

“HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?”

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

“You are ridiculously comfortable…”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“We should get a puppy!”

STARGAZING

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Shooting star, make a wish.”

“It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”

“Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”

“Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…”

“Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?”

“Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.”

“This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?”

“Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.”

“I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.

FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL

“Did you just… finish?”

“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”

“I’m not actually feeling anything.”

“Are you getting any closer?”

“Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!”

“Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”

“Shit sorry, am I going too fast?”

“Wow, you’re hot.”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Hey, I’m open minded.”

“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”

“I see someone’s happy to see me.”

“I saw that. You just checked me out.”

“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”

“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”

“Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”

“If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”

“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”

“I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

TEXTS

[text]: What do you want now?

[text]: Do you want to bet on that?

[text]: Guess who just got back in town.

[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…

[text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore!

[text]: Come on, come to the party!

[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.

[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.

[text]: I call bullshit.

[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you?

[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship.

[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.

[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.

[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!

[text] I know what you did last summer…

[astrorarepairs]

moonrock prompt by prompt anon~

i’m gonna put all of it under here in a read more bc its pretty long hehe 

humans who were deemed too short of a lifetime to determine whether to sentence them to heaven or hell become guardian angels as a 'second chance'. Minhyuk is one of them. facts abt guardian angels: they have no memories of their past life, may get judgement after clearing their first assignment, may have to clear lots of them (varies), and they can be good/bad influences on their targets. His first assignment is a 5 year old named Moon Bin. (1/?)

minhyuk becomes bin's first best friend, where bin spent most of his hours of his days with minhyuk. bin did have other friends, but he loved having sleepovers more with mh where he felt like he could talk abt anything and everything & be given visions of other places around in the world that his other rl friends couldnt do. mh soon forgot his original goal as a guardian angel nd saw bin rather as the best friend he never had rather than an assignment (2/?)

but because guardian angels are only visible to their assigned child, bin's parents saw minhyuk nothing more as an imaginary friend. as bin grew up, the distance between them grew until binwas in middle school where he completely ignored mh's presence and considered him as an actual imaginary friend. mh was heartbroken but still stood by bin nd helped him in the lil things he could do, invisble to the boy; just as he asked.'just an assignment,' he had to remind himself constantly (3/?)

it wasnt until bin was in high school where he was stressed with school and the future and the fact his bestfriend distanced himself after knowing he was gay. Minhyuk came to him in his dream (something he always did whenever bin was sad; he loved him too much to be able to completely stay away from bin) and bin screamed at him. about he's the reason why he cant make friends, the reason why bin became this pathetic, the reason of all of bin's problems (4/?)

minhyuk doesn't cry. he accepts the shards of glass that are being hurled at his heart by his only best friend. he vanishes from bin's life by the next dream. bin supposes he should feel happy, and yet he finds the day a bit harder to handle, a piece of him missing somehow. A new transfer student comes in called rocky and somehow he and bin become friends. somewhere along the way, bin finds himself in love; theres a sense of familiarity in rocky as if he could spend his entire life w/him (5/?)

judgement day comes for minhyuk on the day of the fight (because when your assignment says they don’t want their guardian angel around anymore counts as the end of their task) and to his surprise, he is accepted into heaven; he’ll be in paradise with his memories again and away from pain. He asks the Great One if he could become mortal again; a wish that the dead all want, but are too afraid to ask for. He reasons that he still wishes to lookover Bin (Who? the Great One asks. Minhyuk grinds his teeth as he is forced to call his best friend ‘my assignment.’ as if he was some sort of object to play around with.) and help him. That he can’t let bin be sad and troubled alone down there. The Great One grants his plead with the condition that he may only be mortal for 2 years and that Bin will have no such memories of minhyuk.the next thing he knew, he was mortal called rocky and wasgoing to transfer to the school bin was going to. And as he hoped for, he and bin become best friends the same way they used to be when they were kids.minhyuk experienced many things in the mortal world; he experienced happiness (when he and bin won their first dance battle together), sadness (when he reheard bin’s story of his loneliness and brokedown in his arms one night), love (when he and bin watched the sunset turned into a sky full of stars and thought he never wanted for the sun to rise to separate them in the future) and heartbreak (when bin confessed to him 3 months before their graduation day and minhyuk had to go back to heaven). he made the most of his two years, spending all his time to love the only person that meant everything to him and being loved back.Rocky missed graduation day and bin searches for him far and wide before and after the ceremony, he was planning on introducing him to his parents. he walked into his old homeroom classroom and saw rocky standing there alone and in white? moonbin walks in and sees rocky with angel wings andcrying and all his memories about the guardian angel; his imaginary friend comes back again and they stay there crying and holding each other in realisation.minhyuk tells bin about his last day and how he couldn’t go back to mortal form on his last day but all bin cares about is apologizing and telling mh how much he loves him. they kiss for the last time as minhyuk’s figure starts to fade and bin promises to find him and they’ll be together again. and minhyuk disappears from bin’s life for the second time.THSI WAS SO LONG A GAIN I AM S O SORRY this felt super cheesy nd done alot dhfdjg but yeah i mean if u have any other pairing that feels like would fit into this au pls tell me!! nd tell me how i can improve the plot bc im still kinda iffy with it :/ i hope u like it ^^ 

its saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad :((((  tbh i think myungbin can also fit this, it seems to suit moonrock pretty well! and i guess the only thing that made me go ?? was the new transfer student being named rocky ahhahah i feel like he should be nameless as an angel then minhyuk when he becomes mortal again?

n i think maybe the plot feels too cheesy rn because its not fleshed out yet? like if we see more of their memories together i think it wouldn’t be too cheesy anymore! its sad huhu but i like the story! would definitely read a longer version of this hehe

[kyberled]

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have?

Salt Meme

As a matter of fact, I have, though thankfully it wasn’t in this fandom, but one I only recently trundled back to, and one from way back that I don’t think I’m ever going to be going back to for a number of reasons.

Oddly enough, this person from the very old fandom wasn’t even a part of the fandom I was in. It was a crossover type thing, and the first crossover I’d ever written. But there was a lot of vagueblogging on her part whenever I did anything they didn’t like. And by that, I mean the dash was flooded with posts saying that ‘this person’ didn’t ship things like they thought they did, TAGGED WITH OUR CHARACTERS, and going on to complain ON THE DASH to her mutuals that ‘some person’ (still tagged with our ship) was making their anxiety and depression worse. My crime? I didn’t have my muse kiss theirs within thirty in-reply minutes (tops; probably less) of them first meeting. I ended up fanmailing them saying it wasn’t that I didn’t ship them, it’s just that I wanted to take it slow, and after that they went back to acting like we were best friends while spamming my inbox with messages about their wedding.

I wish I was joking.

It’s also worth noting that I was a teenager, and the other person was, according to their rules page, in their twenties. This only happened one or two more times before I blocked them, but the more I thought about about it, the more I kind of wished I got out sooner, but at the same time, I’m just glad I got out at all.

The other person was in a bigger fandom, and they were writing with some other people I know and consider friends. They introduced themselves by messaging me right after they followed, saying, ‘Hi, I’m [person I’m still good friends with]’s friend! [They] recommended your blog to me, so I thought I’d say hi! My name’s [name]!” … Or something along that vein. Introduced themselves, added that they’d heard about me from a mutual friend, and that was the last normal conversation I had with them, outside of a few attempts at plotting. 

This person would come into my IMs at odd hours and just complain to me. I didn’t even really know this person’s name, and they would just dump their life problems in the IMs. Like how their best friend was stressed in college, so they were not gonna contact her by their own choice, but now they were sad and missed her and anxious and yeah, I get that that sucks, but I was a complete stranger? And they’d go on and on and I could hardly get a word in edgewise. Whenever I did manage to say anything and try to comfort them or offer advice, they’d shut me down, give lists of reasons why my suggestions wouldn’t work, and go back to complaining at me. This happened literally all of the time, it was all they’d talk to me about. They also really liked hounding me about being agender, too? I’ll give an example of this in a bit.

I feel like I should clarify, here, that I enjoy helping my friends with their problems. I like being a shoulder to cry on. But the emphasis is on ‘my friends’. People I am comfortable with. I would also appreciate some warning? Even just a ‘hey, can I vent to you for a sec?’ at least lets me get in the right mindset to be able to deal with this sort of thing. I got no warning from this person. It’s also nice to talk about something else from time to time? But, no, it was just a constant stream of negativity from them. I’m being completely serious when I say I couldn’t make a single post on either of my blogs without them messaging me. It was actually kind of terrifying, to say the least. Had to start developing a routine based on when they were usually offline to avoid being harassed. 

It didn’t take me too long to consider blocking them, because of the outpouring of negativity, but also because they kept dropping threads without telling me, then talking about how I was ignoring them, to me, and THEN requesting starters and completely ignoring ALL THREE OF THE STARTERS i’D JUST WRITTEN THEM, and THEN saying they were too lazy or kept forgetting to look the starters up? But I was the one who was ignoring them. The day I was first about to block them, they message me about how their friends are all blocking them. I briefly wonder if they’re a telepath. They say, after a very long rant, something along the lines of ‘but at least I have you, Jay. You’d never do that, you’re my best friend. I’m lucky to have you’. And on the one hand, I’m thinking, you know, what the hell, since when were we best friends? And I know that sounds mean, but I’d barely spoken to them, both because they never listened and because I was super uncomfortable talking to them; we barely interacted IC because they kept dropping threads and outright ignoring things I’d write for them; I never made an effort to contact them since the conversation was always focused solely on how bad their life was; We’d only been in contact for a month or two, tops, and it took about a year for Rodi and I (or my irl highschool best friend, Hannah, and I) to get to True BFF Level; Never once did they show any concern for me, or really anyone aside from themselves; Honestly, I’m kind of surprised they even knew my name. But I’m their best friend, apparently, and now of course I feel super guilty, because I was about to block them, and now I was the bad guy.

Oh, and to add on to all this, they forced headcanons on my muse. Once again, I feel like I need to clarify: I love people bouncing headcanons off me. If you think Braig would like XY thing, tell me; If you have an idea of a scenario for our muses together, send me it, I’d love to hear it. I’ll even reblog that ‘tell me your headcanons for my muse’ meme. I love it.

What this person did was different. This person, without asking, conferring with me, or even giving me any warning, they decided my muse was a child abuser. I don’t think I need to elaborate on why that was a bad thing. This went against my headcanons, contradicted canon at some points, and made no sense to me, but apparently my muse was now a child abuser. Eugh.

Oh, and before I give a brief run-down on what finally prompted me to block this person, I feel it’s worth mentioning that when we’d first started talking, I’d just turned eighteen, and they were twenty-one. 

Anyway, so the straw that finally sucker-punched the camel in the jaw was when they messaged me after A Day. I was tired, hungry, had been in class all morning and in line at the campus book store for half an hour, and my arms were loaded down with textbooks. I was sort of struggling through tumblr for something to do, but typing was pretty hard. This person swings into my IMs and starts a suspiciously normal conversation - Actually asks me about school, what my major is, etc etc. I’m giving one-word replies for the most part, both because I’m not in the most social mood (and I’m not comfortable with this person to begin with), and because I don’t have the hands free to type long sentences anyway. But I’m starting to think that maybe, just maybe, this person has turned over a new leaf. Maybe I was right for giving them so many chances. And then, in the middle of the conversation, zero warning, they say:

“Are you out to your family, yet?”

And I’m just stunned. I had no idea how to respond. After a minute or more of me just staring, not answering, they add, ‘can I ask that?’, and I had no idea what to say in return aside from something like ‘no, I’m not, and I don’t know if I ever will be’, hoping to end the conversation. This person then starts complaining at me for not being out, because they wanted help with getting their family to remember their pronouns. I offered some suggestions anyways, those were all ignored, and out came more rants about how terrible their life was. 

I blocked them not long after, after speaking to two close friends who agreed that I probably should’ve done so earlier.

So, yeah, those are the two instances that come to mind. I’m a bit more careful with who I chill with, now, and I’ve learned to be pretty blunt when shutting this stuff down, so it hasn’t happened since. \o/

[5hfanfiction]

Everything is A Metaphor

Chapter 2

* * *

Listen to: Vienna by The Fray

“Is there really no way to reach me?”

————————————————————————————————————

She feels- as much as she hates to admit it -the same way she did when her dad died. At first there’s a shock, a sudden dizziness and the vivid feeling of all your blood draining into your heart, so that it can beat faster; the nausea, the inability to breathe or form words other than ‘No, you’re lying!’ But then comes the realization that no one, not even the devil himself, would lie about such a thing. This is real. This is happening.

Lauren is in her dorm room, on her bed, barely held together by Lucy’s arms. She keeps trying to speak, wants to speak; but all that comes out is “No, no, no,” over and over again, her head shaking side to side. If she could just focus on the present- on her being in her loving girlfriend’s arms -she’d be able to at least mumble something relatively coherent. Instead, the past keeps replaying in her head.

“Hey, that would be great, actually! I’m Camila.”

“I’m-“ And she freezes right there, her hand half-extended as her face goes white. Her lips tremble for words-any word-but really, what the hell can you say in a situation like this?  Instead, Lauren simply stares at the girl until her vision blurs-from panic or tears or both, she can’t really tell.

“Whoa, Lo! You look like you’re gonna be sick.” Dinah feigns concern, throwing an arm over the shorter girl. “Here, why doesn’t Lucy take you back to your dorm?” She cocks her head out so that Lucy can see the panic in her eyes. “Right, Luce?”

That’s really all Lauren can remember, anyway. There’s Camila, then Dinah, then Lucy, then one more look back at Camila and Dinah. The worst part is, Lauren can see Camila’s face so clearly in her head: her brown eyes, wide with concern; Lips not so chapped anymore, but still bright pink; Hair a little all over the place, but somehow perfect the way it is. She is almost exactly the same, almost exactly how Lauren remembers her. Camila wasn’t freaked out by Lauren’s episode. Instead, she was incredibly worried. And if there’s anything about this girl that Lauren holds close to her heart, it’s her automatic concern for complete strangers. Camila was and, thank god, still is, the type of girl to take a homeless person out to dinner. Talk to them. Learn about their life story, all for the price of a single meal. And in Camila’s eyes, what could be better than that; that feeling of helping another?

But Dinah-…She just stood there. Impatient. Annoyed. Not one fucking look of regret. And that, almost more than anything else, is what really killed Lauren. She knew this was happening. She knew Camila was the new student, all along. And she didn’t do a damn thing.

Lauren launches into a fresh bout of sobs. Camila. Back, as if from the fucking dead.

After what seems like hours, a knock at the door forces Lauren and Lucy to finally depart. The latter runs over to the door, wanting the intruder to go away as fast as possible. The sight of her girlfriend’s concern almost makes Lauren forget how fucked up her life is. Almost, until she recognizes Dinah’s face peeking from behind the doorway.

As if sensing the anger rising behind Lauren’s tears, Dinah instantly raises her hands in defense. “Just hear me out, okay?” She steps inside the room without invitation, brushing past Lucy harshly. “I was going to tell you-“

She freezes. The girl before her is not one she recognizes. They’ve known each other for years, and yet Dinah has never, never seen Lauren in such a distraught state. It doesn’t compare to how she looked when Camila first left. No, this is worse. The girl lay in the same clothes from earlier, though the collar of her black t-shirt is almost entirely soaked-through from tears. Her face is red as a third-degree burn. Her entire body shakes, even when she isn’t coughing out a sob. She looks so small, fragile; like a little kid who’s just been told their dad isn’t coming home.

Something sinks in Dinah’s chest. “Lauren-…” She tries again, but the words keep getting stuck in her throat. Shit. She didn’t mean to fuck up this badly.

To make things worse, Lauren simply stares at the girl, her red eyes seething with tears. There is so much inside her, so much anger, so much sadness, so much of everything. She can’t hold it in any longer. The emotions inside her erupt into two words.

“Fuck you.”

Lauren’s voice is so ragged that for a moment, Dinah isn’t sure she heard her right. She furrows her brow, prompting Lauren to repeat herself.

“Fuck you,” She trembles, shaking her head. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!” She screams so loud she can feel her vocal chords tearing apart; so loud that her gag reflex is triggered, and she has to cough frenziedly to avoid throwing up right then and there. Terrified, Lucy runs over to the girl. But Lauren pushes her away.

Dinah tries to speak. “Lauren-“

“You kept this from me,” Lauren continues, barely coherent. “You knew she was enrolling here and you kept it from me! You fucking-!” She breaks down again then, losing her battle to string words together. The worst part is, Dinah’s still trying to defend herself. Lauren knows it from the annoyed look on her face, her crossed arms. It makes her feel like a fucking madman, like she’s speaking to a damn wall. Does Dinah really not realize how much wrong she’s done?

“Jesus, Lauren,” Dinah throws her head back, her eyes rolling. “Do you blame me? Really?” She gestures toward the girl. “You’re a fucking mess! Damn straight I kept it from you. You really think finding out on the anniversary of-“ She stutters then, not wanting to worsen the blow. “Today. You really think me telling you today of all days would’ve helped anything? I didn’t think you’d be in school, Lo! I was going to tell you, I just…I wanted to avoid all of this.” She gestures again.

But Lauren isn’t buying it. “No,” She says through gritted teeth. “You knew for days, you had to of. They wouldn’t just throw something like this on you in a day’s notice. I’m not fucking stupid-“

“Okay.” Dinah uncrosses her arms, as quickly as one would reload their gun with ammo. She takes a deep breath through her nose, focusing a hard stare at Lauren. Make no mistake, Dinah loves Lauren like a sister- hell, like more than a sister. But she’s tired. Tired from Camila, tired from the debacle between her and Lauren, and tired from-

Well, tired from Lauren as a whole.

“Listen,” She continues, her voice low. “Yeah, you’re right, I did find out a few days ago. I didn’t tell you because I know how bad you can get during the week of the anniversary. I didn’t want that to be the only thing in your head the night of. I didn’t want you to suffer like this. Sorry if that was my mistake.”

Her voice begins to tremble with anger.

“But don’t you dare,” She shakes her head. “Don’t you dare turn this on me. You think you have it bad? What if you were the one who had to show her around because you’re the dedicated student advisor? What if you were the one who had to pretend like everything’s okay for her sake? Don’t forget you aren’t the only one who lost someone! You aren’t the only one she forgot.”

The speech is enough to make Lauren feel a pang of guilt, but only briefly before she finds her will to fight again. The thing about Lauren is that she’s stubborn, especially when it comes to Camila. The girl is too sensitive a subject for her to simply submit. “I-“ She begins, but Dinah shoots her a fiery glare to let her know she isn’t finished.

“Take today,” She nods condescendingly, like an uptight parent might. “Take tomorrow morning. Take the entire fucking week, I don’t care. But don’t come near me, and especially don’t come near Camila, until you’re over it. I’m sorry this is so fucking hard on you; it’s hard on me too. But I had to get over it for her sake, and so do you because she isn’t going anywhere and I know damn well neither are you.”

Her words are quiet enough to not shake the walls of the dorm, yet the edge in her voice shakes Lauren to her core. She opens her mouth one last time as a weak attempt to justify herself, but Dinah swiftly turns around and steps through the doorway. Before slamming the door, she adds: “You have a second chance to redeem yourself. Don’t fuck it up.”

The moment she leaves, Lauren crumbles into tearless hysteria. And even as Lucy holds her, coos to her, tries to keep her together, Lauren doesn’t mumble one word. She simply shakes, quiet and open-mouthed.

Maybe brokenness isn’t red-faced and damp with tears. Maybe brokenness comes after all the gunshots of cracked throats and irritated eyes.

Maybe brokenness is the afterthought. Maybe that’s the metaphor here.

————————————————————————————————————

Lauren doesn’t know how long she’d been asleep for. She can’t recall the exact time she fell asleep, and how much she actually rested in that timeframe rather than drowning in her thoughts. All she knows is her bones are heavy, her eyes still burn from crying, and her throat feels like she ate the blanket that’s currently covering Lucy. She must’ve kicked the blanket off in her sleep. In fact, she must’ve kicked Lucy off in her sleep, too, because the girl lay silent a few inches away, curled up with her pillow.

“Shit,” Lauren mumbles, running her hands over her face. Lucy doesn’t move, fast asleep, and Lauren curses herself for expecting something different.

When she checks her phone, her stomach lurches. It’s not because it’s already ten at night, or that Normani’s five text messages are pushy and suspicious. It’s not even Dinah’s apology message. No, it’s the last message Dinah had the nerve to send.

“I’m sorry about earlier. IDK what 2 say, except that im sorry and i love u. And on the bright side, Mila seems already really into u. Idk…i guess I’m sorry if thats hard to even comprehend rn. I just wanted to let you know, I guess, for the future. Maybe to give u some hope. Again, I’m sorry bout earlier. U kno I love u.”

Lauren chuckles dryly.  It would make sense for Camila to be instantaneously attracted to her, whether it’s a romantic interest or not. That’s just Lauren’s luck. She looks up to the ceiling with tired eyes, smiling sadly as she silently asks god, ‘Are you even up there?’

She gets no response, and she laughs again. Typical.

So between the nameless god, the deceptive best friend, and the ex girlfriend who is, essentially, brainwashed, it’s no wonder that Lauren chooses to venture into the night just before the clock turns twelve. It’s also no wonder that of all places to be in, she chooses the student bar.

And with the dreadful Jauregui luck she’s inherited, it’s of course no wonder that after a few drinks, she begins seeing things. Things that aren’t really there. People. People like Camila. Camila herself.

But before Lauren can do anything, she’s pulled out of her stool and dragged to a low-lit corner of the bar.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? A-Are you out of your mind? Have you finally reached that point, Lauren?”

It takes a moment for her vision to focus, but when she sees the short, light-haired girl she hasn’t seen in months, she chuckles.

“Hi, Ally.”

The two girls go as far back as Lauren and Dinah do. In fact, the three of them-no, the four of them, including Camila-all used to be best friends. But after the accident, Ally simply couldn’t look at Lauren the same. Every time she tried, all she saw was a broken shell of the girl she once knew. They still forged a relationship, though. Things only got bad about a year ago, when Lauren got into a fight with Lucy because of the whole Camila-Anniversary-Thing. She’d gotten drunk as a result, and when Dinah stopped answering her calls, she slogged over to Ally’s room in the next building over. Let’s just say that things didn’t go over well with, you know, the whole drunk-over-Camila thing. It just stirred up too many buried memories in Ally.

“So this is your go-to now?“ Ally continues, moving her shoulders so much that the martini in her hand shakes. “Camila’s back, so you have to get drunk? Are you really that weak?”

The insults roll off of Lauren’s chest, her body shielded with armor made from whiskey. She smirks. “Dinah told you.”

“She didn’t have to, asshole! She’s my new roommate.”

That sobers Lauren up a bit. She blinks for a moment, processing Ally’s words. “I-“

“She’s here, dumb-ass. I thought we’d celebrate her first day here but clearly that was a bad idea on my end.” Ally shakes her head in shame. “I really thought you were going to change, Lauren. Do you even remember what you said to me the last time we spoke? ‘I want to change, Ally! I want to do right by her.’ God, was I wrong for believing in you for once.”

The insults batter Lauren’s shield of alcohol, hitting it again and again until it is finally punctured. Lauren wasn’t just drunk off her ass. Camila really is here- here! In this ratty ass bar. What was Lauren thinking? She opens her mouth to defend herself or apologize or just say something. But Ally cuts her off again.

“You need to leave, Lauren.”

After a moment of searching her mind, Lauren finally says, “You can’t kick me out.” Jesus, she’s so drunk she can’t even find it in herself to apologize.

Ally sighs, pressing a hand to her forehead. “Just stay away from Camila, okay? I’m serious; this isn’t a warning anymore.”

“And what are you soooo afraid of? That I’ll buy her drinks? Make out with her?” Lauren smiles sadly. “Offer to drive her home?”

It’s a disgusting comment, even for a drunk Lauren. Ally finishes off her martini before speaking.

“I get that this is hard for you,” She says in a low voice, sounding just like Dinah from hours earlier. “I get that you must feel guilty, and confused, and just…heartbroken. I understand the want to get drunk, to just forget that any of this is happening. But you can’t run from this, Lauren. You can’t run from her. Not again.”

Ally pushes past Lauren before she can even formulate a response.

Lauren focuses her eyes on her hands, noticing the harsh scars circled around her palms. They’ve been there since the accident, she realizes. They haven’t faded- won’t fade unless she gets treatment. The scars are a part of her, and she has to live with that. Folding her hands palm-side down doesn’t make the scars go away, either. Just minimizes the time she has to face them. She has to stop running away.

From the scars, from Camila, from all of this. Lauren can’t continue ruining her life just to compensate for the injuries done to Camila. She-the old Camila, the one she once knew-wouldn’t want that. In fact, if the old Camila was aware of Lauren’s downward spiral, she’d be heartbroken.

And Lauren’s tired of breaking people’s hearts.

She hurries past the crowd of people dancing to get to the bar and pay her bill. She pushes past a couple twerking, another who can’t keep their hands off each other’s pants zippers. At some point, a hand grabs on to her shoulder so fiercely she has to elbow someone near by to get loose. The end result is her loss of balance as she escapes the crowd, stumbling into the person nearest to her.

“Whoa there-“ The voice says, but Lauren cuts them off.

“Shit,” She heaves, catching her breath. “I s-swear I’m not as drunk as that m-makes me seem-“

But as she blinks and fixes her hair, desperately trying to compose herself, her vision clears once again. The girl before her is a figure not drawn by alcohol or depression, but reality.

Lauren trembles as the name stumbles out of her mouth.

“Camila.” Her mouth fills with a vile taste, like burnt food.

The girl smiles warmly, brown eyes widening with surprise. “You remember my name?”

And as much as Lauren wants to make a snarky remark, she can’t bring herself to say anything more.

No, instead she bends over, holding her stomach.

Instead of word vomit, she, well-

She actually vomits.

————————————————————————————————————

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s not the first time I’ve been puked on. You’re fine.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, really.”

“I’m sorry.”

It’s then that she breaks down. She hugs her knees to her chest, buries her face in-between them, and cries; huge, ugly sobs that tire her shoulders out. Lauren can feel her face growing red, her throat raw. This episode is even worse than the one from earlier, which-frankly-was previously thought impossible. And yet, the pain feels lighter tonight. As she’s crying next to Camila, sitting on the sidewalk in the chilly New York night air, there is something different. Maybe it’s the alcohol, or the argument with Ally. But the crying feels more like venting, how it should feel to a normal person. It feels like the pain is escaping through every tear. And it is awkward and weird and fucking insane to be sobbing in Camila’s presence, but the moment reminds Lauren that this isn’t the first time she’s cried in front of her. For Lauren to not let it out would be running away. Fuck that.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Camila finally musters, eyes darting every which way as if to confirm that this is really happening. Then she latches on to Lauren’s arm, tugging at it gently as a means to get the girl to look up. But she doesn’t. Instead, Lauren sobs harder, louder, as if to block out Camila entirely.

“Those shoes were like $20 anyway!” Camila shouts, feigning a smile. “I can buy a new pair at Target for probably less! It’s all good!” But Lauren keeps on sobbing, drunk off-amongst other things-the release it gives. Camila pleads, “Don’t cry, blue skies? Please?”

And Lauren lifts her head up, as if feeling a new wave of nausea come on; a new wave of memories; flashbacks; nostalgia. She stares at Camila, eyes glassy with tears but-

But there’s something more. Her lips quiver as she starts, “You still-?”  She knows she can’t finish the sentence. You still say that? Instead, she shakes her head, letting it fall back between her knees. Fresh tears roll down her cheeks, but her eyes are closed for the most part. She tangles her hands together over her forehead, trying to grasp the reality at hand. Then she-

Well, she laughs. It’s a tired, broken sound, but the two girls make a mental note that it’s much better than the sobs.

One of the best memories Lauren can recall is, surprisingly, when Camila first told her she was moving away. They were sat at the edge of Lauren’s roof, like always, passing around what little alcohol they had managed to steal off their parents. This mixture in particular combined brandy, whiskey, and rum all in one flask. (Gross indeed, but Camila had insisted that it’d be better for them to learn to hate alcohol early.) There was really no proper way to announce the news, so Camila simply interrupted Lauren once she was tipsy and rambling.

“I still really want to go to NYU. I know you think I’m just applying for your sake, but-“

“I’mmoving.”

Lauren eyes her with a look of suspicion, raising a brow.

Camila refuses to meet her gaze. She keeps her face angled forward, her eyes hidden behind locks of stray hair. “Friday.” She manages. “I’m moving. To Texas.”

A silence moves in between them, separating them to such a degree that not even Camila’s dad could achieve it. Lauren fumbles mindlessly with the cap of the flask, her eyes staring at Camila. Looking, but not seeing. Hearing, but not listening.

“Please tell me you’re drunk.” She says, throat suddenly dry.

Camila shakes her head.

“Camz, please-“

Camila shakes her head more violently, turning her gaze towards Lauren for the first time. Then, seeing the truth in Camila’s eyes, Lauren shakes her head, too. “No, there’s no way-“ She begins, but the sight of Camila’s eyes becoming glassy with tears pushes Lauren over the edge. She propels herself off and away from the edge of the roof, dropping the flask of alcohol as she does so.

“No, no way in hell. If he really thinks he can just up and ship you off to fucking Texas of all places, he’s got another thing coming.” She paces carefully up and down the slope of the roof. “You can stay with me, or, or-!”

Camila mumbles softly,“Laur.” She meets Lauren’s eyes, then drags her gaze away again. “It’s over.”

Lauren shakes her head. “No. We can figure something out-“

“I’m moving in three days.”

“No, no, don’t tell me that! We can’t just give up-“

“We aren’t giving up, Lauren. We never had a chance, not with my dad. You know that.”

Lauren slips down the roof with each statement. “Are you forgetting that he’s a bitter, tired-ass! You can’t-“

“I have to.”

“Camila!”

“Lauren.”

“Please,” Lauren finally skids next to Camila’s side, taking a seat on the edge. “This is my fault! He shouldnt be punishing you. I-I’ll promise to keep my distance from you in public. I’ll sign a restraining order if that’ll make him happy! Just please-“ Her voice cracks as her eyes fill with tears. “Don’t let him take away the only good thing I have in my life.”

That’s when the both of them broke down, sobbing into each other’s shoulders. Lauren had never been so intimate with Camila, not in this way. The honesty, the aching in her voice-

The fact that she really did believe Camila was the only good thing in her life brought Camila to tears. Then, of course, came the revelation that they were losing each other, probably for good. This was a split no one could control.

After a while, Camila whispered, “Don’t cry, blue skies.”  Lauren only remembers it now because it was such a stupid, yet adorable thing to say in the midst of a disaster.

“I think I’m just drunk,” Lauren says now, wiping her face with one hand. She musters up enough courage to look into Camila’s eyes, and she notices the same jolt of concern darkening the brown in them. A few fresh tears roll down her cheeks, but not out of sadness; a drunken anger or disdain. No, these are tears of hope. Hell, maybe even joy.

Maybe memories can be forgotten, erased. But there are some parts of you that you just can’t change; certain aspects that are hardwired into your chemical make-up. Maybe Camila forgot about Lauren, but maybe there are parts of her that haven’t changed. Maybe the parts of her Lauren loved most haven’t changed.

Seizing the moment, Lauren speaks before Camila can say a word.

“Walk me back to my dorm, please? I promise I won’t cry anymore.”

Camila looks at her with shock, her mouth dropping open before curving into a ridiculous smile. She shrugs, shaking her head. “You’re crazy.”

“Is that a no, Cabello?”

Camila raises a brow. “You know my last name?”

Panic. “We-“ Lauren begins, but stops herself in all her drunkeness. We knew each other, once. We were actually lovers at one point, haha. She shakes her head, mouth suddenly dry.

“Dinah told me.”

“And did Dinah tell you anything else about me?”

Lauren raises a brow. “Should she have?”

“Mm, not from her, no. But from me? You have a lot to learn-…” She pauses, at a loss for words.

“Jauregui,” Lauren answers. Then, smirking, she puts out a hand. “Lauren Michelle Jauregui, at your service.”

Camila takes Lauren’s hand, pulling the girl up with her as she rises from the curb. “Karla Camila Cabello,” She says, stepping closer to Lauren. “But don’t tell anyone.”

And the two of them are so, so close, faces inches away. And Camila is smirking, like she’s discovered the most clever saying in the world. And Lauren is smiling anxiously, trying to convince herself that if she drunkenly stumbled and crashed her lips into Camila’s, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

But then she hears Dinah and Ally’s voices mixing in her head. Don’t blow it. Don’t fuck it up.

Instead, Lauren grabs Camila’s hand. “Lead the way, Brown Eyed Girl.”

Camila freezes at the nickname, her head tilting as she observes the lightness to Lauren’s eyes. She doesn’t say it, but the way her brow is furrowing tells Lauren she’s confused.

She mumbles, “Why does that sound so familiar?”

And there’s that shred of hope again.

Lauren tries to hide her smile, shrugging like the most oblivious girl in the world. But as they start towards the Arts and Sciences dorm, Lauren thinks to herself:

It should sound familiar. It should, it should, it should.

———————————————————————————————-

AHHHHH thank u all so much for the positive feedback pls keep it coming Im terribly self-conscious with my writing lmao 

have a nice day!! hopefully this didnt make u too emo (:

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Stewart never came back that night I said I would pepper spray him.

I thought he may but he said he wouldn't. Then the local police said that they would stop him and arrest him if they did as i has threatened physical harm and I could also hurt myself.

So he didn't.

Nor the next night...

And I get mad at people that I don't like to say it shortly, and I end up wanting to push their buttons. Especially if I'm angry in my life... Its a flaw, i guess but Stewart does it to me too. Except I tell him to fuck off...

But... I guess when someone is right.. You can't.

So i figured out that Stewart was out her3 with his husband type. The same that had helped him kidnap me 16 years ago. So I kept thinking about it.. Not that i wanted to..

But that i needed to. Polish out it all. Now that i had color to the shadows.

So i was told he was staying home so i told him "what are you doing Stewart? Laying in bed? Holding his hand?" I'm all bitter I'm not gonna say im not.

He didn't answer. So i told him angrily with all kinds of pit bull bite, "you think he really loves you? Terrifying you until you were so scared you couldn't think, telling you that i was strapped to the bottom of his truck like in Cape Fear?"

"I know he doesn't love me! Watch this!!!"

From what I saw. Which I will not say was absolutely the truth because I really don't know... Stewart stabbed him to death.

I saw his eyes. And he was very dead. Stewart dragged him into the tub to drain him. I won't explain how. Then. He cleaned the blood from the house and dressed up his lover in female like attire.

Just as he finished the local police went to have a look.

And he was arrested. And is in solitary.

He was very upset the first few days but he's been quiet. They got his blood sugar settled and it really helps to get rest that way.

I can't blame Stewart as i completely understand how he was feeling. I've felt the same so many times in my life.

His lover was abusive to him. Stewart really just wanted to be loved. He kept saying how he always did everything like a wife, cleaning and laundry and ironing and how he was unappreciated. And just kept stabbing.

And his lover just kept saying "Stewie stop! Why are you doing this?"

I didn't believe them really. But it was interesting. I felt a lot of passion going on. I mean may be yeah it could happened.

But recently my cousin died of cancer. She was younger than me. She didn't have years of suffering. She had skin cancer and surgery to remove it and complications. Ended up on a breathing machine and died. I think it was the hospital fucking up, honestly. But. Also I dont care.

She had beat one of our cousins kids severely for no reason while babysitting. Got probation. And I knew karma would get her.

I was angry and i knew she would go to Hell.

So there is a particular way I kept seeing her after she died. And i kept seeing Stewart's lover the same way.

I talk to a lot of ghosts. Sometimes they're mean. Honestly. But not bad. Just emotional. Talking shit or lying. But not evil. White lies that are quite obvious lies, nearly.

These two were different. Which i won't explain because i don't want people to mimic. Although I've seen people try and have not ever been able to do it successfully.

If you believe that a black hole sucks things in and won't let them out, Then you would believe in something that I believe Hell is or is similar to.

I honestly felt kinda bad for Stewart the next day. Not like i felt it in my heart. I just knew he was disappointed in his life.

While he was up here he kept asking me "is this my destiny?"

So i guess he felt it was near...

However it is. If it happened then it did if it didn't then it didn't. Nothing i could do about either way

No one suspected he would snap the way he did. I didn't. I guess pushing someone to the truth can cause that.

I've fucked with Stewart a lot. I really do hate him. I hate his arrogance. I hate how he flaunted how he could just be paid to come near me as if he mattered to anyone because he didn't. He was only a pawn.

Then i gave him some chances because I knew he was only being used and i thought it was fair.

Then i was angry he had tried to kill me and i had to remember. So i told him something he should know. Eye for an eye.

His hate towards his lover must have been building for years. Because i barely finished my sentence and the hunting knife he kept tucked under the edge of his mattress was out and in his lovers body faster than the start of a drag race.

I always had a weird connection and feel for Stewart. I always felt sorry for him. I could see hus sadness and depression for just wanting love and to be accepted. I understood his anger at people for not seeing him as a person. And being treated as a child since he has type I diabetes.

Even so. I knew he was a person that could only be seen through the looking glass as without a safety barrier he was much too dangerous.

I guess he thought if he could be violently dangerous he could be seen as a man.

A few successful fights in front of and with people such as Jesse James and cops and people he admired, oddly and he would be set for life

I guess like an NHRA World Championship.

of course. We all know just one won't cut it, it's gotta be at least 17x unless you're John Force then you're already the master.

Then that is where i become angry at Stewart. My mom is the same way.

I was telling Jesse just that same night that unless Stewart and Laeuren and some others go to jail for life (or at least 50 years) and he never talks/communicates to them again, I'll never forgive Matt Hagan. Much less want to be his friend again.

So Idk if i can say it was answered prayers but it sure was prompt!!

It was just mere hours when i expressed my anger, in writing, about what Matt has done.

So it most certainly is an odd odd world.

As I said i only wrote it as i heard it and my own experience... What happened in the real world may be totally different..

It could have just been a dream i was sand manning in.

Other than what I've written here and checking on Stewart occasionally to see he's okay... I'm quite speechless.

And I was trying to write this earlier but i wasn't believing what I was hearing and this baby stink bug, all green, not yet black kept getting on my blanket and i was literally throwing it off. So I went to flick it and it didn't move... But i had ripped out one of it's legs.

And quit moving completely. And it died.

During the same time they're telling me for sure that Stewart's lover was 100% dead

So that is what led me to believe. Because that bug should not had died so quickly from losing one leg... I don't think.