#there's at least one more edit i want to make for this drama! because friendship 👌 loyalty 👌 betrayal 👌 pain 👌

[thii-nii]

Choi Hyun Wook as Ahn Soo Ho in Weak Hero Class 1 (2022)

[theintrovertbean]

My statement about the drama

Hello!

This post will be about the whole Rai drama that they orchestrated against @asrabounding. But first, I would kindly ask anyone who hasn't read the post by @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia, aka brainrot, to do so. It can be quite triggering, so please, be mindful of that and make sure to put yourself first. The same warning applies to my own post.

First, I want to apologize. I did bad stuff, and I've been doing my best to mend my mistakes. I'm very sorry about the things I've done, but especially about the things I could have prevented. My friends got hurt because of something I was a part of and could have avoided if I wasn't scared to stand up for others and myself.

This is going to be a long post. Sorry about that too, but this whole drama was simply a lot.

Brainrot's part perfectly sums up what happened, but since I was there from the beginning of the drama, it would be fair to add some things from my own POV. It isn't nearly as professional as brainrot's statement, and it's more about my personal experience, which I think shows how this drama affected the well-being of the people involved. Again, this is my experience, but we all share the feelings.

The first time I posted from this account on Tumblr was in July 2022, and Rai reached out to me on November 1. Apparently, I was too intimidating, but as it turns out, Rai just needed me (and other people) for their plans. They specifically wanted to involve mainly Nadia fans, so it was only a matter of time before they messaged me.

Why Nadia fans, you might ask? Well, we could sit here all night and take guesses because no one knows for certain. Rai only pretended to like Nadia (because wanting to kill her is enough proof that they didn't like her), so their reason must have been something psychological. But again, we can't know for certain. Sadly, their actions put us Nadia fans in a bad light, and their friendship was never genuine.

I have a guess that Rai had been stalking a few bigger creators for a while and just waiting for one of them to make a mistake. Asrabounding (AB from now on) happened to be the unlucky one.

Honestly, I didn't know AB at all. We never interacted, and the first time I ever heard about him was through Rai. At the beginning of December 2022, Rai told our server about AB and how he and his girlfriend were harassing their "boi," Panda, who was completely incapable of taking care of himself, at least according to Rai.

I spoke to Panda a few times during the drama; he is nothing like Rai described, which You can tell by the screenshots as well. He is overly friendly and tends to overshare, and I would say he is pure evil, but that adjective would be far too generous in his case. I also have to add that there is no evidence of Rai and Panda being two different people. I've looked through my DMs, and a few servers that Rai is/was in and found zero traces of them ever having a conversation. I also asked around, and no one has ever seen these two interact with each other. Once, we even asked Rai to invite Panda to their server because we all wanted to get to know him, but they immediately refused, saying he is too soft and all kinds of weird things to say about one's partner. I suppose it would be hard to text from two accounts simultaneously.

The private server that Rai created was made in November, around the time when the drama began. It's crucial to mention that none of us knew AB. This allowed Rai to portray AB however they wanted.

There are screenshots in the pdf from the DMs between Rai and me. They told me quite a few things but purposefully left out important details. The screenshots Rai sent me were always sent in a way that would make AB seem like the worst person to ever exist. I (and the server) also received altered versions of AB's art, which were edited in a way to make it seem like AB was making Asra whiter or orange. Additionally, Rai maliciously gathered personal information about AB and his loved ones, which is both legally and morally wrong.

The call-out blog happened and didn't gain much attention, which was quite disappointing to Rai, but failure didn't stop them. They recruited more people for the sole purpose of hurting AB. We retreated to Rai's server until the previous drama, where Rai popped up every once in a while to stir up our anger and disturb our conversations.

Then we arrive at the latest drama. Rai's efforts paid off. One of our friends did a call-out post, and things went crazy. I don't have to describe what happened because it's in brainrot's statement, but there is one thing that I really want to highlight. Rai did nothing. Everything we did was because of them and their "boi," and they just watched us all get burned.

At some point, brainrot presented us with an opportunity to make peace with AB. Two of us even volunteered to talk to him, myself included. Rai didn't even react while everyone else was looking forward to ending the drama. Actually, Rai was unusually quiet. They gave us an excuse for being less active and just left us to deal with their mess.

When brainrot left, I almost immediately reached out to him for two reasons. 1. He is my friend. I was concerned about his well-being and wanted to make sure he was alright. 2. I was physically and mentally sick of the drama and considered leaving the server myself. There were days when I could barely function because of the anxiety I felt. I was a mess. Everyone was, but never Rai. I felt like I was in the middle of a battlefield, watching my friends get slaughtered while the person behind it all, Rai, was having the time of their life far away in a luxury tent. I desperately wanted to end that.

On multiple occasions, I muted the server for hours and sometimes even days because I could not deal with Rai. There was a clear hierarchy, and Rai would constantly try to compete with us and bring us down. Everyone else was behaving like normal human beings, and then Rai would randomly show up to pollute the air with their "hee hoos" and disturbing stories they claimed were true.

The same person who said they were gathering courage for months to text me never showed any care, remorse, or fear during our nine months of "friendship." Also, the very same person would go around texting random people on Tumblr, checking how intelligent and "mentally stimulating" (they said that, not me) they are, and trying to figure out if they hate Dorian and/or Asrabounding. They were also looking for people in a more vulnerable position, such as those who were new to the fandom and/or lonely. When everything on the list was ticked off, Rai invited them to their server. For privacy reasons, I'm not going to say an exact number, but about ten of us were "recruited."

Brainrot and I talked a bit, we both vented, and we eventually reached the point where I said that I would talk to AB just to end this madness. And so I did with brainrot's help, even though it horrified me, but I knew I had to do it for others. I expected AB to be just as Rai presented him to us, but he wasn't. The AB I was talking to was kind, understanding, cooperative, and tired of everything that had been going on. It often made me wish I met AB sooner than Rai. Our conversations with AB were and still are civil and friendly, and I am nothing but thankful to him. We compared our notes, then brainrot and I went back to DMs for a while to discuss everything.

We realized that 1. Everything Rai said about AB was a lie, and Rai just wanted to hurt him. 2. Rai lied to us and used several manipulation tactics on us. 3. Our friends were unsafe.

To include a lie, once, Rai texted me to ask if I wanted to know their legal name. They told me that they were named after a character from an anime. Later, I found from a friend that Rai told her their name too. It was from the same anime but a different character's name. This was just one example.

So we made a plan, and we had to act fast. I quickly gathered a few screenshots from the server that we could use, then we texted everyone involved about the news. Thank gayness, everything instantly clicked for the vast majority of our friends. It was tough, exhausting, and very emotional. Being betrayed by someone we considered a friend was no joke. Honestly, have never felt so much anxiety in my life. It was suffocating.

Then, three of us deleted every channel in Rai's server (every member had maximum permissions). In the meantime, we made a server of our own, a safe place where we could heal together, continue our friendship, and discuss what we were going to do next.

And that's how we got to brainrot's post. I created a document and put in whatever screenshots I had from Rai's server and my DMs. Then I asked everyone to send me all the screenshots they wanted us to include, and I put those in too. That pdf is the fruit of multiple days of work and immeasurable disgust. Even putting it together almost made me throw up more than once. It was available to everyone involved (our friends and AB as well) from start to finish. They were all free to make edits, give suggestions, and add screenshots if they wanted. AB added the anons he received and a bunch of other screenshots. Brainrot wrote his statement, and I did the group's, which is one of the reasons I didn't want to make another one. In the meantime, we found out more about Rai, and it was not pretty; the screenshots prove it all.

This wasn't the first time Rai tried to take someone down, and they bragged about it multiple times. They were also quite proud of how they were able to manipulate people. I mean, just look at what they said about how they got together with their "boi." We know of two people in the fandom who were hurt by Rai. From what I know, unlike AB, they weren't content creators. My assumption is that doing the same thing over again wasn't giving Rai the same thrill anymore, so they wanted to target someone bigger. Bigger drama = more pleasure for Rai.

There was one person who got kicked from the server because they didn't hate Lucio. Rai provoked them to make them act out of character, which resulted in a kick and ban. There were others that Rai wanted to kick out but didn't because they were still needed for the drama.

The things Rai sometimes said about characters and the people who like them were sickening. They constantly described Lucio as a mass murderer and a r*pist and harassed anyone who didn't agree with their opinions. Rai also headcanoned that Lucio SAd Nadia during their marriage. And a lot of other things...

We had to tiptoe around Rai all the time because being kicked out of the server wouldn't have been a big deal, but being separated from our friends against our will was not something any of us wanted. That small but loving community we created for ourselves (Rai excluded) was why we stayed on that server in the first place.

But also, we were scared. Whenever Rai was present, they turned us into an angry mob. I don't know when we started to feel this way, but we were uncomfortable and wanted out. However, when we looked at each other, the angry mob was all we could see. Even when an individual was in doubt, the others still put on their angry mask, and that one person felt alone. I often felt like that too, but we all knew what Rai was capable of. We were already hurting, and we didn't want to unleash the angry mob against us. If Rai were to come after any of us, they would most definitely twist everything in a way to make themselves seem like the victim(s).

Soon after the server was gone and I was no longer talking to Rai, I realized that the hate I once felt wasn't my own.

Once again, I'm sorry about what happened. We all are. I apologize for the hurt I caused to everyone and take full responsibility for my actions. I never intended for things to escalate things this far, and I regret everything I've done. The things we did were not done with a clear mind. If it wasn't for Rai and their mind games, none of us would have done anything like this.

And Azi, I'm especially sorry to you. Despite everything we've done, you treated us with kindness and worked together with us to make the fandom a safer place. You have no idea how much this means. I'm thankful for the chance of getting to know the real you.

I also apologize to my followers for bringing drama onto my blog. While I'm open to questions about what happened, I would like to get back to writing my silly little headcanons like I did before. I'm an open book, but simping for Nadia is why I made this blog in the first place. The good thing is that now I'm able to do the things I've always wanted without Rai constantly reminding me why this and that is so bad. And who knows, maybe you'll see me bring some Nadia content to a different platform as well...

Our friend group, I apologize to you as well because I didn't protect you when I could have. Things would have been different if I wasn't so scared.

Azi, Brainrot, and friends. Thank you for everything. Your support and cooperation helped all of us through these hard times, and I hope we can continue to heal together.

I don't expect forgiveness from anyone because what happened is truly horrible. While countless lies and manipulation were involved, a simple apology won't undo the harm we caused. We have been doing our best to make up for our mistakes and will continue to do so in the future as well. However, please, please be careful. Rai is still a threat, so if you see them anywhere, just run. Protect yourselves and, if you can, others as well. Please, stay safe and learn from our horrible mistakes.

-Eszter

[shadowsxgwynriel]

The List - Modern Gwynriel (One Shot)

⚠️Warning: Mild Violence

🔞Rating: Pg-13

💻Word Count: 2,411

📜Summary: I’m not really good at summarizing plots but let’s just say that I may be watching too many K-Drama’s and One Tree Hill reruns (which the list itself was loosely inspired by an episode of OTH)

📝Note: I would like to warn you that I am not a fanfic writer—I wish that I had the skill and talent (and dedication) to do what so many amazing fanfic authors do. I applaud anyone who writes fanfic because just writing this was difficult for me and I can’t imagine writing multiple chapters. I was going to delete this, but I decided to step out of my comfort zone just this once and post it. Also, please keep in mind that I wrote this in 2-3 days and only read through it/edited it once, so I apologize if this has mistakes or is terrible. 😓

~~~

It was on a Friday night, Gwyn decided, that her friendship had come to an end. Which was unfortunate, seeing as how they were also roommates—and had concert tickets for next month. Okay, so maybe her friendship-ending would have to be delayed for at least a month, but still . . .

“Did . . . did you really just call me boring?” Gwyn sputtered. She was a freaking delight to be around. Or at least that’s what one of her elementary school teachers told her once before.

Nesta sighed. “I didn’t say you were boring. I said you were predictable.”

Gwyn clutched her chest dramatically.

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Gwyn, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

She ignored that, and turned to look at Emerie. “Do you also think I’m predictable?”

Emerie hesitated. “Well . . .”

“I’m not!” She insisted. “Just last week, I changed my order at Starbucks.” She usually ordered an iced coffee with milk.

“That’s because it was Nesta’s turn to go to Starbucks, and she switched up your drink,” Emerie reminded her.

Dang it.

“Okay, well, that’s just one example. I’m not that bad.“

“You drink the same drink, you eat the same meals like clockwork, you always wear your hair in a ponytail, you go to bed at the same time every night—“

“I think she gets it,” Emerie said with a light cough.

Gwyn groaned and flopped face first onto the couch. They were right. She was predictable.

Emerie patted her back. “Cheer up, Gwyn. There’s nothing wrong with having a routine.”

“You mean boring,” Gwyn mumbled, then let out a little grunt when Nesta sat on her back. “Get off me, you psycho.”

Nesta bounced a little. “Well, stop with the pity party.”

“I’m not—“

She bounced again.

“Fine, fine!“ Gwyn conceded.

“Good,” Nesta said, standing up. “because I have an idea.”

~~~

“Are you sure this is a good idea?“ Gwyn asked for the third time.

Nesta shrugged. “I said I had an idea, not that it was a good one.”

Gwyn stared at herself in the mirror, hardly recognizing herself. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration. Her appearance hadn’t changed drastically or anything. She was wearing her coppery-brown hair down, and had on eye liner and mascara to enhance her teal eyes even more, according to Nesta.

Emerie had dug around in her closet until she found a pair of black ripped jeans that Gwyn never wore, and her comfy oversized brown crochet sweater. Gwyn opted to wear combat boots instead of heels, much to Emerie’s disappointment.

“You don’t have to do this,” Emerie told her.

Gwyn looked at the list again, and wondered briefly if Nesta hated her. She did eat the last Crispy Crème donut that Nesta had been saving, but that was a week ago. Though, Nesta could hold a grudge . . .

1. Dine and Dash

2. Sing in front of a crowd

3. Flash a stranger your tits Have a one night stand Kiss someone

“It’s an optional list,” Nesta said. “You can make up your own list if you want.”

Gwyn sighed. “No, maybe I should just forget about this. I don’t think I’m the spontaneous type.”

Nesta nodded. “You’re right . . . which is why I’m going to challenge you to be more spontaneous.”

Gwyn’s eye twitched. Nesta knew her weakness, and knew that Gwyn never backed down from a challenge.

Dang it.

~~~

Gwyn looked around the restaurant nervously. Her hands shook and she considered just paying the bill, but the need to prove Nesta wrong was far too strong. She could be spontaneous and unpredictable.

After making sure that nobody was watching her, Gwyn stood, and before she could second guess herself, she bolted for the door.

“Hey!” the Hostess yelled when she ran pass him.

“I’m sorry!” Gwyn called back, not slowing down. She also wasn’t watching where she was going, which was why she wasn’t expecting to crash into someone—a someone with a very solid, and apparently very muscular, chest.

Gwyn lost her balance and almost fell, but an arm wrapped around her waist and steadied her. She looked up, way up, at the person holding her, and was startled to see it was someone she knew. Well, kind of. Azriel went to the same college as her and was roommates with Cassian and Rhys. Nesta’s sister, Feyre, was dating Rhys and Nesta was . . . well Gwyn wasn’t really sure what Nesta had going on with Cassian. But outside of that, Azriel usually kept to himself, though they had worked on group projects together a few times, and he was always polite to her, always the first one to include her in conversations.

“Uh . . .” Gwyn murmured. “Hi.”

He blinked, seeming to realize that he was still holding her, and let her go.

“I, uh, hi,” Gwyn said again. “Sorry for running into you. Literally.”

He continued to stare and not say anything.

Okay.

Gwyn tried again, “Not sure if you remember me, but I’m Gwyn.” Nothing. “We go to the same college? My friend Nesta is . . . doing whatever with your friend Cassian? And her sister is—“

“I know who you are,” Azriel said.

Okayyy.

She opened her mouth to say something else, but the Hostess from the restaurant caught up to her. He was out of breath and red in the face, and oh boy, did he look furious. He reached out to grab her arm.

And Azriel caught his wrist before it touched her. He simply said, “Don’t.”

“But . . . but . . . but she didn’t pay her bill,” the man stuttered.

Azriel just stared at him, still holding his wrist. “Don’t touch her.”

The man started to sweat. “She needs to pay her bill.”

Gwyn blushed, feeling like a criminal. Why couldn’t she back down from a challenge? Why was she cursed with a competitive spirit?

“I’ll pay for her,” Azriel told him, finally letting him go. “How much?”

“You don’t have to—“ she started to protest, but Azriel cut her off. “How much?” he repeated.

The man stuttered out the total, and Azriel pulled out a few bills from his wallet. When the man walked away, Gwyn turned to face Azriel. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

He looked at her and shrugged.

“At least let me pay you back.”

“No need,” he said. “You didn’t have enough money to pay your bill, so I don’t expect you to pay me back right now.”

“Wait a second,” Gwyn said, feeling the need to explain. “I did have the money to pay, I just couldn’t . . .”

He nodded, somewhat solemnly. “I understand.”

“Uh, I don’t think you do. See, I have this list, well, actually, Nesta made the list for me—anyway, one of the things on the list was for me to dine and dash, so that’s why I didn’t pay. Not because I couldn’t afford it.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why the list?”

“Oh, uh, to help me be less predictable and boring, and more spontaneous.”

Azriel laughed, a breathy laugh that sent a surge of warmth through her. “You’re not boring, Gwyn.”

“You don’t think so?”

“How can the girl who tried to start a club for a lost Pegasus be boring?”

She smiled. “I can’t believe you remember that!” Gwyn was thrilled. She had tried to create the club a few months ago, because she figured if people could chase Bigfoot then why not look for a Pegasus? Unfortunately, the club wasn’t picked up since only one person, apart from herself, signed up.

“Of course. I did sign up after all,” he said.

Gwyn smiled even wider. “So you believe that a Pegasus might still be out there, too?”

He shook his head. “Not exactly.”

She frowned in confusion. “Then why . . .”

“What else is on your list?” It didn’t escape her notice that he completely dodged the question, but decided not to push it. She handed him the list wordlessly. He looked it over and smiled, and god was it a nice smile. “I think I can help you with the next one.”

1. Dine and Dash Failed

~~~

“I changed my mind,” Gwyn said, leaning against the wall. “I can’t do this.”

Azriel had taken her to a karaoke bar, and she was admittedly freaking out. It wasn’t like Gwyn hadn’t sung in front of people before, but it was mostly family and friends, not strangers, and certainly not Azriel. She was the most nervous to sing in front of him.

Azriel crossed his arms against his chest. “Really? That’s too bad. I was looking forward to hearing you sing.”

“You were?”

He nodded. “I’ve always heard that you have a beautiful voice. Shame that I won’t be able to hear it.”

She couldn’t help but preen a little at the compliment.

“Unless, of course, it’s something else that’s bothering you.”

Gwyn tilted her head to the side, trying not to squirm at the intense way he was studying her. “Like what?”

Azriel suddenly smirked, his hazel eyes sparking bright with something, and bent down so his mouth was level with her ear. “Do I make you nervous?” She shivered as his breath tickled the shell of her ear, her heart racing in her chest.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous! Why would you make me nervous?” Gwyn pushed away from the wall and stormed over to the entrance. “Let’s get this over with.”

Azriel’s laughter followed her, filling her with confidence.

But once she was on the stage and looked out to see Azriel watching her, she froze. The song had started, and she wasn’t able to utter a single word.

She could tell the crowd was getting bored. A belligerent man, who was sitting at a table in front of the stage, tossed his beer on her and told her to get off the stage.

Before she really had time to process the fact that she was now drenched in alcohol, Azriel grabbed the man by back of the neck and slammed his face onto the table. Blood gushed from his nose and Azriel forced him to look up at Gwyn. “Apologize,” he snarled.

“Sorry!” The man cried, though it came out sounding more like sowwy due to all the blood.

It was silent in the bar. However, nobody moved a muscle when Azriel shoved the guy at a bouncer and told him to toss out the trash. Gwyn suspected that it was due to Azriel, Cassian, and Rhys being well respected—and feared.

He jumped onto the stage, shrugged off his jacket, and placed it over her shoulders. “Are you okay?”

Gwyn sighed. “I’m fine, mostly embarrassed. Everyone saw him throw that drink on me.”

Azriel reached down and picked up a half empty glass of what looked like bourbon. Gwyn gasped in shock when he suddenly splashed the drink onto himself.

“Azriel, are you crazy?”

He only shrugged his shoulders. “Now they’ve seen us both.” Her heart fluttered. She couldn’t believe he did that for her.

“I think I’m ready to go.”

“What about the list?”

She gestured at her clothes. “I’d rather go home and change.”

He stared at her for a second. “Okay. I’ll walk you home.”

2. Sing in front of a crowd Failed

~~~

Gwyn tightened Azriel’s jacket around her, enjoying the way his scent was engulfing her. As they neared her apartment, she prayed that she wouldn’t embarrass herself with what she was going to say.

“Tonight was, uh, unusual,” she started.

He smirked. “It was. I certainly wasn’t expecting a pretty woman to crash into me after dining and dashing.”

She paused. “You think I’m pretty?”

Azriel just smiled.

Gwyn bit her lip, feeling gleeful when his gaze darted to look at her mouth. “I still have one more thing on my list that you could help me with . . .”

He opened his mouth to say something, but Gwyn panicked and cut him off. “Can I kiss you?”

Azriel’s eyes heated and he nodded his head slowly. She stood on her tip toes and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. When she pulled back, his gaze was locked on her lips.

“Gwyn,” he murmured, bending his head down slightly.

“Hmm?”

“Can I kiss you back?” His breath danced across her lips and she shivered yet again.

Wordlessly, she nodded. One hand gripped her waist, and the other cupped the nape of her neck, his thumb gently caressing her jaw.

He kissed her lips softly, once, twice, lingering the third time. He coaxed her mouth open with his tongue and Gwyn couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped her. She put her hands on his chest, clutching the fabric of his shirt in her hands as he deepened the kiss.

The hand that was on her waist had moved down to rest on her bottom, which made her wrap her arms around his neck to get even closer to him. She moaned when he did some type of sucking move on her tongue.

A group of people walked by, their loud laughter cutting the kiss short. Which was good, since Gwyn had been close to humping his poor leg like a dog in heat.

Azriel lightly bit her bottom lip when he pulled away, and Gwyn almost said screw it all and jumped his bones.

“I was wrong,” he said.

Gwyn blinked out of the haze she was in. “Huh?”

“I was wrong when I called you pretty,” he stated.

“Oh?” If he was going to say something rude after kissing her like that, she was going to kill him.

He stared deep into her teal eyes. “You’re fucking beautiful.”

She couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face. “You’re pretty handsome yourself.”

He returned her smile, looking almost shy at the compliment. “Can I take you out on a proper date tomorrow?”

“I’d like that.”

“What’s your number?” She told him and he entered it into his phone. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night, Gwyn.”

“Night,” she said. He started to walk away. “Hey, Azriel?” He stopped and looked back at her, raising an eyebrow. “Why did you offer to help me tonight?”

“Because I’m not stupid enough to let an opportunity pass me by.”

Her confusion must have shown on her face because he smirked, his hazel eyes shining with mischief. “I like you, Gwyn.”

“Since when?” she asked.

“The day you tried to start a Pegasus club.” With that he walked away, whistling a jolly sounding tune.

She smiled and headed inside, feeling anything but boring.

3. Kiss someone Completed

[alexjcrowley]

Tag yourself "Ancient Rome main characters but it's just very violent personal attacks" - Augustus's principate edition:

Gaius Julius Caesar "Augustus"

if you're honestly thinking to tag yourself as him what the fuck is your problem, your self-esteem is sky rocketing, you shouldn't be on Tumblr, you should be on Tik Tok

you take the lead in group projects and do 90% of the work because you think you're the only one who can it right

everybody better treat you like royalty otherwise bold of them to presume you'd let bitches talk mad shit about you

frail health though, stay safe baby

favourite quote "I was born for politics. I have great hair, and I love lying"

calm down I'm sure you'll get that college admission letter, no need to be dramatic and start threatening you'll ki** yourself if you don't get in

Marcus Antonius

burnout gifted kid

like honestly you had your whole life planned and then oopsie everything comes crashing down

aw, you want daddy's approval? Don't we all?

you're like an only child, or the eldest child. Then some bitches came along and you were forced to share.

If that's not a mummy sorry mummy sorry mummy sorry you ain't hitting that (or daddy ;))

you love giving pep talk, reminds you of the time people used to look up to you

Gaius Cilnius Maecenas

light academia, dark academia, chaotic academia, the point is: academia

your friends are the most interesting thing about you

you surrounded yourself with artists and creative types, such a shame you aren't one of them

you're that person who'd shout "THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND" when your friend does something incredibile, but nobody will ever do that for you

so how's life standing on the sidelines?

at least you're not bitter about it (or you're very good at hiding it, let's be honest)

supportive bestie

wasn't kidding about great taste in friends, your friendships are very elite and everybody wished they were in your inner circle, make 'em wish, darlin

Publius Vergilius Maro (Vergil)

COUNTRY ROOOOOOOOADS, TAKE ME HOOOOOOOOOME

cottagecore

as a society WE NEED to retreat to the country and go back to peak of human civilization: farming

you're cooler in theory than in practice

massive introvert

you just want a cottage and some books and maybe some plants and a pet and free time, is that too much to ask?

Yes, because that shit's a fever dream, you wouldn't last a day in a real farm, get your head out of your ass

Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)

you think you're funny. You're the only one to think that.

self deprecative humour for the win

your superpower is infodumping. Sure, everybody does it once in a while- but they way you do it. Wow.

you're a tiny gay, a petite homosexual, if you will

wittiness is one of the many qualities you believe to possess

how are you handling those five mental breakdowns a day?

Guess what, clean air, drinking water and reading outside won't cure your identity crisis

Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid)

you listen to doja cat unironically. And no, I don't mean "I like her beat", I mean you listen to the lyrics of doja cat unironically.

you're a slut, but, if you're reading this, it mean you're on Tumblr, so probably you're more of a theoritical slut

gossip girl xoxo

when people come to ask you for dating advice you feel like an old french prostitute recalling the glorious days of your youth

you think you're incredibly more interesting than you actually are

like, face it, if you were that great people wouldn't leave you on read

God it's like two weeks in the country at you grandparents's house there's no need to start complaining to all your friends you're in "exile", the wi-fi isn't even that bad, you're just a drama queen

you once dreamed of living in London or New York or Paris, don't lie to me

I hope people are actually know what I'm referencing in this or some things might sound very weird or mean out of nowhere (they're instead mean for a reason)

[veetlegeuse]

i told myself i wasn’t going to make a sappy new years post but i’m home alone and stuck with my thoughts so i thought, why not? this has easily been one of the hardest years of my life. i’ll spare everyone the gory details and instead say this: 2022 can suck my fuckin’ nuts.

that being said, i did have a really good handful of keeping me afloat. so i’m gonna talk about them. 😤

my og tumblr besties, my southside spooktacular ghouls, the freakin’ loves of my life, thank you for always being around and dealing with my dumb ass, from health scares to oc shenanigans, i freakin’ love you guys.

@waterloou — lou. my freakin’ soulmate. my forever writing partner. i love you so much. thank you for allowing me to immediately ramble about anything and everything at any given moment. thank you for trusting me with your lovingly created characters. thank you for helping me grow, as a writer, as an editor, as a person. you are incredible and i hope you stay in my life forever.

@humangrumpycat — laurien. thank you for blessing me with your absolutely brilliant mind. you are so creative, so smart. your rewrite of stranger things is genuinely better than the original. the suffer brothers could never. i know i’m terrible at responding to you, but please know that i see you and i see what you create and i feel so goddamn honored to be privy to it.

@s-s-southsideserpentine — court. my fellow libra queen. you have been such an insane help to me this year. delicate would honestly not have been nearly as good without your constant support and help. you have no idea how much it means to me that you have been around to read and edit literally almost at a moment’s notice. thank you for that, and for always introducing me to cool music and cool shows and swapping opinions and theories with me.

moving on to my new discord girlies, the co-captains of the s.s. friendship, the keepers of the greenhouse. when anna mentioned adding some new friends to a group chat, i was apprehensive, but i was introduced to two of the sweetest souls and i am so grateful.

@joaquinwhorres — anna. i love that we have become such good friends this year. it has been so refreshing to be friends with someone so open to communication, who doesn’t shy away from tough conversations. it has been so fun getting to know you better and hearing your teacher stories and seeing the kind of work you do outside of the incredible work you do on the internet. also, my phone will forever want to correct ‘the’ to ‘thé’ for the rest of time thanks to you. a constant reminder of our friendship.

@bobfloydsbabe — helena. you sweet, sweet angel. you are so full of love and light, so kind and so thoughtful. i say this with love, it is a wonder that someone as wonderful as you came from such a chaotic family. i just adore you to pieces and i am so proud to say i know you. i am so glad anna introduced us.

@rae-gar-targaryen — rae. we met during a drama storm, and you instantly saw me giving my most rabid dog protector energy and still accepted me anyway lmao. you are easily one of the coolest people i’ve met on the internet, your way with words is incredible, and it has been so, so nice getting to know you.

and, of course, last but certainly not least, my smoshy partner in crime.

@carmens-garden — anna-maria. every conversation we have brings me so much joy. i love having a friend who is into smosh as much as i am, and i love that that mutual love brought us together, because you are wonderful. you are such a joy, and so sweet and so generous. it is an absolute pleasure to be your friend.

i hope 2023 brings y’all everything you deserve and more. 🫶🏼

[plaidcladjuno]

sabotage (kinnporsche the series / macauchay)

i got this idea while talking to @lena221bee about one of the macauchay wips i’m currently working on (yes, there’s more than one, and yes, she’s to blame for all of them) (😘) but since i’m probably not going to turn it into a proper fic, here it is as a tumblr bullet point thing.

[edit] now on ao3!!

sabotage

macauchay, past kimchay | g | getting together, getting revenge, light / comedy, in this house we do not root for kim (although we do simp for jeff satur 😭), protect chay at all costs 2k22

in my other wips i get more into how chay & macau meet and then become friends and then more than friends

but since we see them wearing the same uniforms on the show i imagine that post canon, once chay goes back to university, that’s where they meet

(even though they aren’t in the same faculty and macau’s now at least a semester, perhaps even a full year ahead of chay)

maybe they’re forced to interact (you know how it works in bl dramas: one of them’s tutoring the other, or there’s a project coming up, or they have friends in common — your pick), maybe macau’s the one to spot chay & make the first move (out of sheer curiosity? for the simple pleasure of ruffling his feathers? because of the whole “keep your enemies closer” thing? again — your pick)

anyway

they realize they have a lot more in common than they thought, macau’s just endlessly charmed by chay (because, well, chay) & chay appreciates not being treated like a helpless little kid by someone from the theerapanyakul clan for once

and it isn’t that kinn & porsche aren’t concerned about that development, but vegas’s been laying low so far and neither of them wants to risk provoking him at this stage — kinn because he’s still consolidating his position after kan/gun’s failed coup, porsche because in my personal headcanon he’ll ask for vegas’s help again at some point re: korn’s machinations

so, without good cause to do so, kinn & porsche can’t really forbid chay from seeing macau. porsche did try to have a conversation with him about it but it didn’t go over too well (“at least i knew from the start whose brother macau was!”)

tankhun isn’t too pleased to say the least — first his beloved pete runs away to be with vegas, now this? won’t chay give his little brother kim another chance? well, no, no, he’s right, kim was too cruel — but macau? really? who killed his poor elizabeth & sebastian? mmh? what was that, pol? right, that was porsche, yes, oh, remember the mermaid costume? they should pull up the photos later, it’s been a while — but chay, macau? when there are so many other fine young men to choose from?

still, not only is he the first one to see that there’s something more than friendship at play here, he’s also the first one to come around — he simply cannot resist the whole romeo & juliet of it all (although he does make chay promise he’s only allowed to elope with macau if tankhun’s invited to their secret wedding AND if it doesn’t end in a double suicide)

as for kim, i’m sure he’s heartbroken & he’s set up a whole new murder board for macau alone but we’re not rooting for him here so moving on

of course, chay’s told macau about the whole thing with kim, and although he’s also told him that it’s all in the past now, it’s clear to macau that chay was immensely hurt by this

and, well, chay might not have been raised a mafia heir, but macau was, and he thinks kim’s a little overdue for a good revenge

(is he also motivated by jealousy? yes, yes, he might be, he’s young and in love, isn’t he allowed?)

macau’s options are limited, though — as much as he wishes he could punch kim in the face, or strangle him with one of his own guitar strings, he’s realistic regarding his chances of coming up on top in hand to hand combat against him. macau’s also been trained in various sorts of medium and long range weapons (including knife throwing, always a pretty cool party trick) but a) it wouldn’t feel as satisfying and b) the main family probably wouldn’t take him shooting their youngest very well.

chay probably wouldn’t approve either.

i hope you like beastie boys references because macau comes to the conclusion that there’s only one thing he can realistically do, and it’s sabotage

with vegas’s help, of course

pete just walks out of the room / out of the garden & back into the house whenever vegas & macau discuss it for plausible deniability / so as not to break his promise that he’ll stay loyal to the main family (and if later, at night, pete & vegas happen to discuss ways of delaying a particular shipment of guitars from the uk, well — nobody explicitely told pete who the shipment was for)

it all flies under the radar for a while but then people start to take notice — a couple of Wik’s releases get delayed, then some events don’t quite go as planned, all in the span of a few weeks, and what starts out as a throwaway joke about a curse soon turns into its own hashtag

chay’s still got kim blocked (ignoring that very last kimchay scene from the show for my own personal headcanon) and he’s not following wik on social media anymore but it’s pretty hard to stay away from the news when he’s in the music faculty

he’s on a date with macau — because yes, they’re finally doing this, they’re officially dating, and chay just gets these crazy butterflies in his stomach thinking that macau is his boyfriend who takes him on dates where they do couple stuff like holding hands but not right this instant because it’s hot and macau’s buying them both ice cream — when notifications from his class group chat pop up

“the curse has struck again!”

and it’s a link to wik’s makeup artist instagram, where she’s posted a story about a photoshoot getting cancelled last minute because of a problem with the venue

just then macau comes back with two ice cream cones, handing one out to chay, and chay just has to ask, holding up his screen so macau can see his classmates’ messages about wik’s curse — “did you have anything to do with this?”

and the thing is — macau hasn’t lied to chay since the day they met, not once, and although he’s finding himself hesitant to admit that he’s indeed been messing with kim for the past few weeks, he’s not going to deny it now that chay’s asking about it

but chay gets his answer just looking at macau’s face and he’s — well, he’s feeling many things at once. knowing that it wasn’t just bad luck, but macau striking kim down lately because of... because of chay? he should feel bad for kim, but mostly he’s feeling awed by macau’s efforts and — maybe he’s spent too much time within the mafia, maybe it’s too late for him already — and flattered. and loved and protected and so, so, so fond of the boy standing in front of him.

but obviously chay can’t let this go on so he shakes his head and says, “fine, if the curse is lifted after today—” (macau grimaces) “tomorrow—” (macau grimaces again) “by next week?” (macau nods) “then i won’t ask you about this ever again.”

then he leans in and kisses macau’s cheek, adding, “thank you” — without clarifying for what, but he doesn’t have to

a couple of days later, kinns mentions kim’s “curse” to chay (nothing’s serious happened to his brother, but still, he can’t help getting a little worried) — “do you think macau...?” “i asked him, but he didn’t say anything that implied he was involved in it.” “but—” “i trust him. he’s never lied to me, contrary to your brother. and i’m not lying to you either to protect him.” like pete before him, chay’s learning that plausible deniability is a beautiful thing.

and then, the day after that, kim’s curse is finally lifted — but not before he’s hit by one last stroke of bad luck.

tankhun, shrieking, bursts into the room where chay’s currently beating porsche’s ass at a racing game. (one upside of living within the theerapanyakul’s compound is definitely the sweet, sweet video game set up.) he grabs the remote from the coffee table, switches the display on the tv screen, then jabs franctically at his tablet while telling chay, “you have to see this!”

arm and pol rush to the doorway just as a video starts playing on the screen — it’s very noisy and confusing but after a couple of seconds chay understands it’s a live video taken from the audience at an open air concert. a wik’s concert. people are shouting and screaming but it doesn’t sound right, it’s like they’re... shocked? maybe even frightened? and then chay notices the gray shapes darting above the audience and toward the stage and the flurry of feathers left in their wake. pigeons. lots and lots of pigeons.

“they had to cancel the concert!” tankhun wails. “why?” porsche asks. “it’s just pigeons, what’s so bad about them?” arm and pol start cracking up. “it’s not funny!” tankhun snaps at them but their shoulders keep shaking as he turns back to porsche and chay.

“oh! the horrid little creatures! they were shitting everywhere!”

(in case you’re wondering: the pigeon thing is a real thing that happened)

[ikemenomegas]

i love how you have an alpha split for the jjk omega things

i love how you have a longing ending to both of the satoru and suguru explanations

how do you justify that when everyone is so sad lol

XD I had too reread this question twice because I had a horrified moment when I thought you were making the Satoru/Alpha/Suguru situation some kind of ice cream metaphor? Which is an image I don't particularly care for because being between two very fit men who more than half a foot taller than I am just sounds like claustrophobia. Satoru can be the center spoon, I'll be on the outside, thanks.

I'm glad that you enjoyed that feeling! JJK is a series that loves repression and longing too much to ever abandon in even a fanwork haha.

I don't know if you meant to be funny but you're last line made me cackle. Very "how dare you/the audacity" which, given that I haven't gotten to other things yet ... (Suguru birthday fic, tomorrow! I have had it written for like six weeks and i'm so excited to do a final edit before publishing)

Sometimes I feel really bad about it, mostly because JJK thrives on having foiling pairs, often with the "they were best friends then the fire nation attacked" levels of dedication and drama. The author also just has an intense amount of character arc parallels (different from BSD's love if imagery parallels) which makes it feel a little imposter-ish to add to an already well balanced duo/trio and to have to make that oc someone who works with instead of against those groups.

The nature of a healthy romantic relationship is something that ideally should help you grow, or at least bring you some kind of mutual comfort, vs a lot of the canon parallels just show the characters how much they have left to lose, so that's another thing to contend with constantly. At what points does the oc/character relationship have conflict which seems to add to my understanding of the original themes, and at which point do I let that relationship be comforting for the readers and characters.

So my justification I suppose ends up being that I don't think the alpha you're asking about is actually as happy or hopeful as the blurbs seem. I think they get the benefit of being with someone they care about, but ultimately that's going to come at a cost. The show is about people leaving and the people who get left behind to deal with things, so again I feel a little weird having this oc's issue being that they're the one who stayed. (... I guess that makes them their own foil in a weird way? It doesn't really work because it's literally the same person but it's as close as they get).

Tl;dr: I justify it by also having the oc be sort of sad XD. There are happy moments, and I think that's consistent with the source. Repressed and careful about feelings as everyone is, they do manage to form friendships that tear them apart, so I guess I just wanted to try that with a romantic pairing?

[hana-akari]

@rubbarband​ sent: ☀✂✖

Salty munday meme || Accepting

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

When people expect you to carry them through the entire rp. Like when they give you literally nothing to work with. You right out this long, amazing post, and they give you a sentence at best back, and like their muse doesn’t even acknowledge yours. It’s basically you rping to a wall. Hate that. 

I hate being pressured for replies. I don’t like being stressed doing a hobby. I literally do this to get away from the fact I’m miserably disabled and basically trapped in a wheelchair. Don’t make my life more miserable. 

And uhhh, I don’t like it if you don’t trim your posts to a point. I get being stuck on mobile but it really sucks seeing a loooonnngggg line of like 50 replies uncut.

✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting?

I haven’t been involved with a lot of rp fandoms but I want you to know the pokemon one is a hot freaking mess. It’s like a lot of them just enjoy being offended/angry over petty stuff. God forbid you play a villain as an actual villain, suddenly that means you’re the devil and condone such actions. And the girl characters? They either get ignored or treated like a sex object.

It sucks man, because I made some ocs I really poured my heart and soul into but all the drama happening makes me want to not be on their blogs.

Also!!! If play a trans character?? People will avoid you like the plague like suddenly that makes the character undesirable. It like pisses me off so much. So I’ve taken to playing my characters on discord.

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

I remember the days when no one bothered editing their posts, or even used icons. Most themes were bare minimum. There was a lot less drama back then too. Like people just stayed in their lane mostly. Didn’t like a ship/content? Blacklist or unfollow and move on.

Now its like- If you’re involved/like a certain series or fandom it can literally cost you friendships. And if you like writing darker themes like horror and stuff people will lose their mind and treat you like you condone those actions. You can at least make one person mad by just existing anymore and it kinda sucks.

[rplayford02]

“Will is Scat Jazz!”: Keeper Sound Meeting Notes

Ben and I had a meeting this week ahead of the pitches to discuss our plans for the sound design of the grad film Keeper. I’m planning to work on two grad films - this one and Robbie’s which is as of yet, untitled.

Initially we were struggling, I didn’t really know where to start since I haven’t ever produced sound for a ‘serious drama’ before. My past projects have usually been experimental or at least stylistic, however the tone of Keeper seems to be one of naturalism. We began by watching clips from The Novice but I wasn’t especially excited by it. It relied heavily upon music, there were a few sound design cliches and the mix was quite stripped back. It wasn’t really what I’d had in mind.

It was Ben that brought up Boiling Point. A quick Google led us to the short film, made in 2019. Neither of us had seen it before but having watched the feature we thought it could be a good example to understand how tension can be built through sound.

I liked that the mix felt much busier to match the hectic environment. The continual rising of tension is structurally similar to the current draft of Ben’s script. Going forward this will likely be quite a big inspiration.

I’m also acutely aware that I don’t know much about football and what it sounds like but I know Ben, Robbie and Jake all play 5-a-side with a group of guys so I’m thinking of going along one week soon just to get a sense of what it feels like, looks like, and sounds like; what the dynamics are - with as little analysis as possible. I just want to get a feel for an environment which is pretty alien to me at the minute, having hated P.E in school and generally having avoided sports at all costs since developing motor skills.

Ben spoke about how the football pitches are floodlit, how everything else just fades into the darkness, which piqued my interest. I think it’s these sorts of details about the environment like this which will help me inform the choices I make when sound designing. The test shoot will definitely be helpful in this regard but I think I also need to undertake research if my own and I think going along to these spaces and actually watching football being playing will help me get a better grasp on the space we’re trying to create. (The external space should in turn inform how we choose to outwardly express Will’s internal mindset.)

Also I’m going to look into jazz. Musically and rhythmically. We spoke about Fleabag - the intro. (Also because what is a Rosie and Ben conversation without Fleabag, it’s the very foundation of our friendship.)

Alex knows a drummer. But I’m very unconfident. Anyway, watch this space.

—

Since our meeting Ben has sent me this video on the sound recording of Boiling Point (the feature). I don’t know how relevant it will be since we are not filming a one-shot film and it’s a fraction of the length and I’m hoping to AD rather than record sound on set. Having said this, I’m still eager to learn more about sound recording, even if it completely terrifies me, perhaps because of it.

The video itself: Any excuse to watch Stephen Graham. Very cool that they used two radio mics: one with high gain because he’s usually a very soft spoken actor and then a separate mic on his apron set with a low gain for when he yells. Cool trick. Also reminded me about the nightmare of boom shadows. I think we’re planning on using the floodlights for some of the shots so we’ll need to be mindful of this.

Meeting Notes:

Rhythm? In conjunction with edit

Will is scat jazz - energetic, unorganised, expressive, not regimented

We should remain subjective to will’s perspective?

Me: No ringing noises in his ears! It’s cliche and we’re bored!

No heartbeat - for the same reasons - Ben’s feelings on this are less strong, he’s worried about creating rhythm

Themes:

Pressure

Hierarchy

Enthusiasm vs control

Isolation vs group acceptance

Religion

“He’s like a shaken can of fizzy drink […] bouncing off the walls in a pressurised environment”

Main things Ben wants to convey (at the top of the meeting):

Cold training centre

Breathing

Feet

Heart rate

Feeling of being on edge the entire time

Not polish, grit - more like Boiling Point, less Banshees of Inisherin

Watched Boiling Point short film - good reference

Spotlit football pitches: it’s lit and everything else fades into black - replicate with sound - everything else fades into silence - how much of the outside should intrude in?

Maybe go along to boys 5 a side to hear what it sounds like

Breakdown Scene By Scene :

1. Bedroom

Warm, safe, cosy, messy, teenage boy bedroom with carryover from childhood, suburban estate, plates of old food, fousty, winter chill, frosty outside, island of warmth in cold environment, cars outside, wind outside, carpet floor (shoes on floor), polyester duffel bag, old radiator, the rest of the house, footsteps and voices through the walls and floorboards

2. Changing Room

Cold, echoey, open ceiling - can see all the pipes, blue, harsh materials, feels like a wet room with that floor, creaky benches, uncomfortable - benches are uncomfortable to sit on, hangers stick out into shoulder/back, football boots indoors - very specific noise, low level laughter from existing team members, new players sat on phones, unzipping bags, handling kit, getting changed GRAHAM ENTERS chattering stops, benches heard louder, buzz of lights, pipes louder, Will gripping gloves (leather)

3. Training Ground (keeper drills)

Pitch in general: cold, brisk, spring evening, spotlights on, lads chatting yelling etc in background, Will’s body is stiff, the ground is hard, feels like cement, focus on Will’s body, Will’s breathing, compared to Aaron’s breathing

[Potentially foleying ground hits and to give them more impact to make it sound harder, more brutal]

4. Training Ground (penalties)

“” more murmurs (don’t centre pan like dialogue - use as fx), less close breathing, more brutal impacts

5. Training Ground (water break)

We don’t here Graham, we’ll record it (lav) but it’ll be very low in the mix if there at all? The whole film is Will’s POV but might be most evident here

6. Training Grounds (the match)

Wind’s stronger, he’s in pain from the penalty dives, not breathing properly, self conscious, hearing bodies smack off each other, hearing fabric, hearing feet, when the ball is kicked it might go quiet - like “I don’t see my kids” scene in Boiling Point short, or once she’s hung up in Operator (short film)

[Consider using wind to create rhythm?]

7. Changing Room

Dialogue, less other sounds to muddy, much quieter after the busy crowded soundscape of the last scene

8. Bedroom

No movement from the rest of the house, distant traffic outside, stagnant

21.10.23

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - SO MUCH

Nov 2021 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Mate Match (Line) Ep 4 - my darling queer babies, you’ll never guess what happened, we have representation of (drum roll please) CONSENT!!! This is very exciting. I am now firmly in camp Ryu. Second lead syndrome strikes again. 

Bite Me Ep 10 (Viki) - okay I don’t get what the drama was really about the last few eps but we seem to be right back in pre-ep 8 territory. Odd, but at least Aek admitted to his mom he’s into Aue. (Miss translation on some of that, by the way, he wasn’t saying he was into Aue the way he was into his mother (because, yech) he was saying he wanted to care for Aue as one would an intimate, kind of like “I want him to be my person, part of my family.” Anyway, this show could have ended here but I guess we still have two more episodes. What an oddly disappointing series this turned out to be. 

Bad Buddy (YouTube) Ep 2 -  Increasing disgust with the two friendship groups match with increasing delight in the main couple, excellent pacing and some classically GMMTV moments means it’s all good and I’m all good with it. I’m live blogging this here.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Sweet Dear (Korea - Viki) Ep 5-6 - seriously reminded itself, and the world, that it has the word sweet in its title. Multiple disjointed dates were had and they were fricking adorable. I’m nervous about the torture still to come with only 2 episodes left how will that be resolved? Or is this just gonna continue to stay soft and dramaless? Either way I’m finding it charming. 

My Type (Taiwan indie - hard to find but a kind soul is subbing it here) Ep 1 - It’s cute! Crash into me trope launches the relationship (of course, Taiwan LOVES this one) between a jock and a nerd. It’s gonna be 6 short episodes phone-filmed, reminds me a bit of Friend or Lover only better acted.  The same channel also has Love’s Outlet (which was originally supposed to have a BL sub plot, but I don’t think it ended up that way, and at 50 eps I can’t be bothered to check).

Vanishing My First Love AKA Kieta Hatsukoi (Japan - indie subbed) Ep 4 - Aoki is the biggest drama queen disaster bi to end all disaster bis, Bizilla! He’s a gift we do not deserve but will definitely make use of. Plus I think we can pretty solidly say Ida is repping for ace spectrum. Did I cry a bit over Aida/Akkun figuring out what he’d done wrong? OMG yes, I’m a sap remember? (as well as disaster bi trash panda) And now Aoki has a VERY enthusiastic wingman and a field trip trope to deal with. There’s a best boy AND a best girl. This show keeps getting better. 

In Case You Missed It - The Thai Edition 

NilunDon Ep 0 was supposed to drop Sunday Oct 31. It was on Gaga for a red hot minute and then vanished. No one knows what’s up. 

2Gether The Movie was supposed to have released into Thai theaters on Nov 4. Did this happen? We don’t know but there’s a trailer. It looks like more of the same. Give the people what they want, I guess?  

Love With Benefits Ep1 was supposed to start Monday on Line TV but wasn’t global facing. @heretherebedork​ reports it’s on a 2 week delay for international audiences, so should be dropping Nov 17th on the DV8 Thailand YouTube channel, sub them to follow. This seems to be My Mate Match Mock 2 only with Gameplay (Ingredients) in the middle. I’m game but confused.

You’re My Sky got a second teaser video and is listed as coming January 2022 to one31 & WeTV. 

Don’t Say No dropped a special episode via pay-per-view on the Vimeo website. Ya’all know my ass isn’t gonna bother. 

KinnPorsche did a press conference and got a release date of April 2022. It looks like Gameplay is out, but Jeff (Ingredients), Tong (Second Chance, TharnType) and Perth (My Engineer) are still in. 

Gaga International picked up distribution of Pops TV’s Paint with Love (Nov 26). 

Wabi Sabi dropped a teaser for Absolute Zero. One of those that has been in the works for absolute ages. Trailer says “coming soon” but no date or distributor. This is a “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from this studio, so be on your guard.

Mini snippets dropped on Twitter for Between Us (coming 2022) and a special released to Wabi Sabi’s paid YouTube channel but should be public next week. I expect Tumblr gif wizards to blow up over it once that happens.

GOSSIP - there’s A LOT (it’s that time of year)  

New Thai BLs incoming. Announcements/rumors are gonna start to ramp up now we are at the end of the year. Remember last year? We had over 20 Thai BLs that were announced for 2021 and never happened. So be very wary wittle wabbits. 

GMMTV 2022

There are wild rumors about TayNew (the Kiss series) doing a new BL. 

Also rumors of EarthMix (1000 Stars) getting another BL novel adaption. 

Joong Archen (2 Moons 2) has apparently signed with GMMTV (didn’t I SAY they should gun for J9 like years ago?) and is rumored to star in the novel adaption of Engineer Cute Boys by Jittirain (2gether).

Presumably, we’ll learn more if GMMTV does their usual massive 2022 line up announcements. Though they might not this time, since they failed spectacularly to live up to 2021’s promises (for good reason). 

NOT GMMTV 2022

MaxTul rumored to have a new 2022 project. We can but hope. I honestly thought these boys were done with BL. But apparently Kings gotta hold onto the throne. Can’t let OffGun or BoomPeak win. But as Slipper & the Rose once said, 

“Absolute monarchs should rule absolutely, it’s very becoming.” 

Other 2022 announcements included: 

Remember 15 - stars Jimmy, Tommy, Zee (Why R U?) in a 12 episode horror series that has promo shots for only het couples but is rumored to have BL & GL 

Past-senger AKA Pastsenger - stars Marc (My Gear & Your Gown) and Copper (My Engineer) in a time slip story (90s kid travels to 2022) that seems a lot like a couple Kdrama’s I’ve watched only BL, so that’s cool.

Chains of Heart - suspense thriller about a forest ranger, illegal smugglers, memory loss, and secret love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Poppy (Porpla in YYY). 

Mame has a new project for MeMindY called มายากาล. 

I don’t wanna. 

Gossip 2 - Outside of Thailand 

Taiwan has 2 new projects rumored for CHOCO TV from the producers of HIStory 2&3. Neither has an MDL listing last I checked, but it’s Taiwan so I’m too excited not to talk about it:

I Secretly Fell in Love with Student Council President (let the dumb titles continue, why mess with success?) - is this a remake of Light on Me? 

God's Military Officer (now THIS sounds interesting) 

Also they are supposed to be bringing us WBL Boys’ Vacation. Yes, that is the We Best Love franchise. I guess it’s a franchise now? Anygay, the whole cast seems to be back for it. Ah cha cha. 

Money Boys is a BL movie coming Nov 19 to Taiwanese cinemas. 

New Korean BL rumored for 2022 called Cherry Blossoms After Winter - high school set, cohabitation, hurt comfort + friends to lovers, their answer to Love Sick? Looks good. (Or is this the honest adaptation of At A Distance Spring is Green that we all were hoping for?) 

Viki also announced a new K-BL, Tinted With You, starting Dec 22 (by my calculations). No other info on this one but you can follow it on Viki.  

My darlings at Strongberry are looking for corporate sponsors to make us a full length K-BL series. FULL LENGH SERIES! OH PLEASE OHPLEASE. If they promised a GL subplot do you think we could convince Subaru to do it? 

Too soon? 

Speaking of the Japanese... 

What Did You Eat Yesterday the movie is releasing to Japanese cinemas but it looks like it’s not getting international distribution. 

Japan is giving us an mpreg: Hiyama Kentaro no Ninshin. Not BL, it’s a het couple. It seems legit, not a joke. So... there’s that.

Who was it that once said? 

“the universe is not only queerer then we expect but queerer than we can possibly imagine” 

Anygay, they were probably talking about Japanese cinema. 

Okay so that was A LOT. Sorry, don’t blame the messenger. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Gaga launches Taiwanese GL! Fragrance of the First Flower on Nov 12. I don’t have a sub to gaga, but I hope it’s good for you! Looks sad. 

Loveless Society is supposed to start on Thursday in Line TV. 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International subs accessibility reasons. Also I tend to put Sat/Sun stuff onto Mondays.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here. (many of these now unlikely to happen this year)

Links to watch are provided when possible, leave a comment if I missed something.

This week’s best moments?

ICONIC

[baekhvuns]

so i always see the discourse of bollywood movies on ur blog and im kind of interested in watching them at least once in my life— do you have any that i should start with? i wanted to branch my knowledge more & look into movies that aren’t from hollywood specifically, all i know is bollywood movies are kinda of like musicals? im so sorry if i sound ignorant but please help me find some good movies i can binge! pls ignore this if you don’t want to answer ♡

omg hello please no you’re not sounding ignorant at all! im super glad you’re interested in watching a different movie from a different culture <3 also added gifs / gifsets so you can have a vision of what kind of movie it is!!

this is also where i get my fic plots from 😭😭🔫 or my imagination of certain scenes fbwmdhsj i include a brief description and a link to the trailer !!

and yes bollywood movies tend to have 5-6 songs that are specially designed for the movie itself !! it’s used to portray feelings in a span of 3-4 minutes than just dragging the movie for hours (hope this makes sense) + here’s some movies that i recommend to anyone who’s always wanting to watch new movies esp bollywood !! *knuckle cracks*

jab we met ( when we met ) : adityah, a heartbroken tycoon on the verge of committing suicide, aimlessly boards a train. he meets geet, a high-spirited girl who plans to elope with her lover, and finds himself pulled into her crazy life.

bestie, bestie this movie is the definition of love. he’s an introvert, she’s an extrovert. it all happens on a train, she drags him when he doesn’t want to go and gets him in trouble. makes him re-experience love by asking him to burn his exe’s photo— she threatens him to take her to her home bc “you’re the reason i lost my luggage!” “did i ask you to follow me?!?” yeah. he’s so in love, so so in love. “why are you playing with your life?” “because it’s my favourite game, life!” “you need a psychiatrist!” she makes him experience childishness + the dialogues bestie ugh 😩😩 there’s a song where he hallucinates and sees her everywhere, dancing in the rain and him being a complete love struck idiot. she’s wild, talks nonsense her motto is “i’m my favourite person!” 105/10 i rec this movie so much bc it’s my favourite, ive watched this 20+ times ever since it came out in 2007. here’s the trailer (captions r included) i have the fattest crush on the main lead.

yeh jawani hai deewani ( this youth is crazy ) : a young medical student falls in love with a man who plans to travel the world and never settle down, or get married.

so. this is everyone’s travel dreams into one masterpiece of a movie together. this movie NEVER GETS OLD ISTG,, imagine going on a trip with total strangers and ur 3 friends from high school, one loves to show her bravery, other is a complete fuck boy who has nothing but his dreams, and the last who’s places bets on sports matches. u all know the main girl from xx xander cage ik her as mommy. a trip where u runaway from gangsters on a cart + singing 90’s music + make sex jokes + indian weddings that r better than white ones + friendship deep thoughts + travel + fall in love and then follow ur dreams until it comes to a stop. & u meet at a wedding, classic nerdy girl x fuckboy prompt !!! “you have such a killer smile, if i had a heart it would’ve fell for you.” remembering everything and the drama + THE SONGS THE SONGS R >>>>> ridiculously amazing chemistry, there isn’t a movie like this and there will never be (also what my san fic is based on !!) 107/10 + here’s the trailer !! also edit is rly good heres one for bomb aesthetics of the movie this too!

here’s a gif set to celebrate 10 years of this movie

this movie us only on amazon prime or youtube but i watch it here bc free (make sure the subtitles are right!)

chennai express : a man's (srk 😩) trip to fulfill his late grandfather's last wish turns into an unexpected adventure when he meets a unique young woman (deepika 😩🔫) from southern india.

so, he asked for this whole thing honestly. made a plan with his friends to go to a resort and ends up being in the south of india. automatically finds someone hot on the train who has a huge as secret (she was running away from her dad’s men) lies to her dad and takes him with her fbwmfbwm “my dad’s very respected in my village” “oh rly what he do?” “he’s like.. you know a peryathali” “a teacher?” “no! a don ☺️” LMFAOOOO it’s so mf funny and the songs and the colours >>>> pls imagine jung wooyoung in this tysm. “im gonna lie 3 times, just nod ur head” “ok” here it completely fucks him up bc he nods 😭😭it’s action, romcom, hilarious comedy, dancey and more. SHE FUCKING SLEEP TALKS & he goes crazy fhwkdhdj he’s kinda rude but softy for her but she puts him in his place so <3 trailer ALSO IS FAKE MARRIAGE TROPE !!!! nice lil edit

gif set here !!! + another

zindagi na milegi dobarra ( you won’t get this life again ) : two lifelong friends take their third friend on a road trip through spain instead of throwing a traditional bachelor party.

main guy stuck in a “i-didn’t-even-propose” stage yeah. this is like everyones dream trip to spain!! if we all were old money rich, they all go on a bachelor trip, so so so much fun bc they do the tomato festival, run with bulls, face their fears, meet family they didn’t know they had. fall in love. each person gets to surprise the other two with an adventure sport on the day of, and they all have to participate — no exceptions. u rediscover friendship all over again, it’s fucked up in the best way possible sO GODAMN FUNNY OH MY GOD 😭😭🤚🏼 they literally go “r u man-telly challenged my boi?” “boiii” “boi!” + “moshi moshi yamamoto san!” cue two idiots laughing in the back. poetry in this wow, cinematography >>>>> it’s not a movie, it’s an emotion. 100% you’d wanna go europe after this movie !! trailer (not a trailer but a fan edit that’s better than the trailer itself) but og trailer here here’s a new

om shanti om : (this is filmed like a musical) a film extra in 1970s bollywood is madly in love with a reigning superstar. however, she loves a devious producer, but his greed for power and money is greater than his need for her, and when she comes in the way of his ambitions, he decides to murder her.

simp. biggest simp for his crush ever. u want reincarnation trope? you get it, you want old bollywood glamour and 89% of the bollywood industry to have a cameo? you get it. you get some stunningly beautiful songs? you get it. some bad sex jokes that goes “bad pussy!” 😭😭😭😭 he loves her so much he jumped in a fire to save her but 😭😭😭🤚🏼 anyways time skip. every song has a actor the main guy has worked with irl + the villain is hot lol. uHHH SOMETHING THAT’ll GIVE U C H I L L S is when everything is being disclosed and my favourite is the last scene, when he sees his love for the one last time 😭😭😭🔫🔫🔫 100/10 absolutely, every song is bomb if u don’t understand it’s ok bestie we enjoy either way ok? ok. also since these two do movie’s together often, they leave easter eggs to their first movie together which is this. the easter egg is fire.

gifset !!!

bajirao mastani : the heroic peshwa bajirao, married to kashibai, falls in love with mastani, a warrior princess in distress. they struggle to make their love triumph amid opposition from his conservative family. (irl based)

aesthetics, incredible cinematography + royalty, indian royalty, ridiculously rich, general, second wife + amazing first wife. politics, his mom’s ass. you see a lot of divide here between religion, mastani is muslim while the rest are not. so there’s that, it’s such a stunning movie, this is a must for ANGST lovers. apparently it is based off a real story so yeah. if ur surprised by war, indian history is basically game of thrones but irl 😭😭 so so so prettily filmed this director is chef fucking kisses, every song, oho the sexc scene ☺️😩 super high budget movie so a lot of bling bling + songs r killer + epic love story “it’s not a crime to fall in love” pls expect a fic on it !! trailer if u like royalty + aesthetics + historical irl based stories then check this one out too !!

gifset /// the ladies

shershaah : the life of indian army captain vikran batra, awarded with the param vir chakra, india's highest award for valour for his actions during the 1999 kargil war. (everything happened, in real life, 1999).

imma be honest, tear jerker 3000. i have literal recordings of my friends BAWLING SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING over this movie. every thing in this movie is true, from the love story to the war. it’s a biopic if you couldn’t tell !! it’s based in the time of heavy tension between pakistan & india. rarely u get any good movie like this, so yeah. ur gonna see some shit it’ll effect u, ur gonna bawl that’s a 100% guarantee, for funsies i like to search ppl react to the scene where it just crashes down on u, yeah super emotional, emotional damage quite literally bc you’ll see what soldiers go through. “if you’re a soldier, then you live by chance, love by choice and fight by profession.” trailer this is the most recent movie out of all btw !! <3 main guy super hot <3 the two actors in this actually got married so bfnwbdns

gifset!’

tamasha ( circus ) : boy meets girl, in corsica. they decide to not reveal their real names or personalities. a spectacular drama proceeds to take place, as this temporary couple goes on an adventure like no other. time changes everything for this love story.

so this is like not mainstream & ppl consider this a flop (the director said it’ll take ppl 2 years to understand the movie) but when u watch it it’s more than just a film. it’s an amalgamation of beautiful, sad, angry, dull, lovely, frustrated and funny moments put together which literally make it a roller coaster ride, with its own highs and lows. songs r super fun + kinda boney and clyde-ish ☺️☺️ “let’s do nothing but lie about ourselves” but you’ll see the frustrations everyone feels with work and life tied together. iM NOT LYING WHEN I SAY THIS HITS U RIGHT IN THE HEART, MORE DEEPER THAN THE HEART + it’s like u meet a stranger in a different country and suddenly ur involved with them !!! “what happens in corsica, stays in corsica!” this movie will literally change ur life im so pissed it wasn’t a hit fbsndbdn (cinematography is bOMB)

gifset!!

3 idiots : pretty self explanatory 😭😭,,, it’s students trying extremely hard to fit in the standards of studying (focuses on the academic pressure in asia) + u will experience it, it hits u very deep in the heart. also u will cry <3 the songs r what everyone thinks in their alone time. LMFAOOOO hilarious btw so yuh. WATCH IT

gifset here!! + another one

some movies that r a 100% recommended by everyone :

my name is khan (9/11, and how it affected the muslim community, how they were treated, srk plays as a man who has autism and he wants to meet the president to tell him something <3 truly truly a masterpiece, genuinely, entry for oscars should’ve been)

padmavaat (indian royalty, palaces are all real, it’s also based off a very real story!) gifs

veer zaara (like crash landing on u, but worse in terms of angst but better in terms of it all!! he’s someone who’s on the other side of the border who’d lay his life for her,, 22 years you all, 22..) gifs

k3g (classic srk 😩😩😩) gifs

kal ho na ho (tear jerker <3) gifs

devdas (wow, just wow, no one’s ever been able to recreate this movie anymore bc the actors set the standard so high,, like romeo juliet, this one is the most popular version!) gifs

drishyam (for thriller purposes, like crazy good)

bahubali (this one went viral)

ram leela (mafia,,, romeo juliet style) gifs

wake up sid + barfi

stree (good horror comedy) gifs

haider (crazy good psycho performance, based on hamlet!) gifs

dear zindagi (slice of life) gifs

jab harry met sejal (ring gets lost, he helps her find it <3) gifs edit

hum tum (boys vs girls type,,, GOD THIS IS THE PERFECT ETL)

pk (challenges religion,, makes u think twice about where god is, he’s everywhere, the statues and photos but where is he really? the dude’s an alien btw lol) (pk is a wordplay which means = you drunk?)

special 26 (irl raid, the way they never got caught LMFAOOOO)

guzzarish (on euthanasia and the desperation of wanting to die bc u can’t move or do anything) gifs

queen (amazing, show stopping, funky)

bhaag milkha bhaag (irl racer, during the post colonial period where racism was present and since he’s a sikh, white ppl were nasty to him) gifs

taalash (means search,, this was when bollywood made good thriller movies,,, ending is truly amazing)

badhaai ho! (challenges social norms where moms can’t get pregnant in their later years,, SO FUCKING FUNNY) gifs

m.s dhoni (biopic! on a very powerful and talented cricketer,, the dude who acted in this unfortunately no more but he did an amazing job)

rocketry (on a irl scientist from south india, his biopic on how he was arrested bc he was too educated and it scared ppl,,, bro graduated from harvard in 10 months, crazy)

ta ra rum pum (he’s a car racer <3 cute romcom)

tumbad (CRAZY CARZY HORROR SO MF GOOD ITS FUCKING INSANE)

jodhaa akbar (love story of muslim mughal emperor of india, royalty!!) gifs

oh my god (an atheist sues god after his shop is destroyed in an earthquake, lol)

bhool bhuliya 1 + 2 (one is more psychological horror and two is more horror,, but both are crazy funny!!) first movie’s gifs //

gangubai (ALL HAIL THE MAFIA QUEEN 😩😩 so so so fucking bad ass, based on a irl person who was sold to a brothel,,, u will not regret watching this, the cinematography is fucking stunning) gifs

rrr (better and bigger than endgame will blow ur entire life away)

THE NIGHT MANAGER (yes but indian ver)

[jafndaegur]

For some of you, this is goodbye.

For others of you, this is hello.

And others still, this is thank you for staying by my side.

I mentioned at the end of the Jafs Hobbit Like Birthday event that this post was coming. This is kinda gonna be a long one but I figured anyone who reads this genuinely cares about what's inside.

The long story short is, tldr, I'm retiring from fanfic.

See what I did there? Eh? Eh??? Anyways.

Sounds kinda silly doesn't it? But I feel that's a good way to put it. Retiring.

Many of my followers and mutuals know I have been struggling with balancing fanfic and my original writing. For quite some time now I've felt as though I've fallen behind my peers and lost my way as a writer. And while my irl writing friends and fanfic friends too have encouraged me...it's a fight that I was constantly losing.

For as much as I've cut back on releasing fanfics these past few years—I still always come back first to writing the ideas I have as fanfics versus my own stories. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

But over time I've felt that so much of my training and hard work became wasted.

...which shouldn't be true either.

Because at the end of the day, seeing my readers happy means the world to me. That's the way it should be. But here we are.

So why "retiring"?

Retiring is a lot less strict than quitting (at least in my little brain). I still really love fanfic. And there are still stories that I would like to finish. But this is where I am drawing my line.

I would like to finish these stories. But I will no longer be putting pressure on myself to do so. If I never finish the [blue and grey] series or Shattered Euphonies or Noise of Rain...it's sad...but I also don't owe anyone but myself to finish them. And if I don't finish them because I've outgrown them or moved on so I can do what I want with my storytelling...

Then isn't that me growing as a writer?

So...what will you be doing Jaf if you're not focusing on fanfic?

Well. In addition to posting about producing the Scattered Fragments audio drama...

I will be releasing novels on Tapas—and sharing concept writing, art, and WIPs on this blog along with any fanfic that may trickle through.

It's a bit of a gamble really.

I'm scared that no one will read my original works, I'm scared that leaving the fanfic community for a more passive role will backfire.

But thinking back to that day, that very first day that I posted my first chapter of a How to Train Your Dragon Xover Rise of the Guardians (I was that young 😂)...that was a bit of a gamble then wasn't it?

I've been planning this step for over a year now, and the fact that it's here...it's time—I'm really excited.

Now unlike my past projects, my first story for Tapas will start release in July. The story is already pretty much written, and I start editing the manuscript come mid-January/early February. And Konoponopy (who some of you may recognize from my NSD zine story) will be returning as my cover artist for the project.

I know some people will probably leave this blog now that my fanfics will become even less frequent that what it already is. But I also hope that as I reach out more, as I become more and more confident in myself as a creator, new people will join here too.

I couldn't have made my way all these years without all of my close friends, back when I took that first wobbly step into the Sesskag community here on Tumblr to where I am today. And there's no way that everyone who I know will make it on this list but I just really want to thank my friends, my inspirations, the guys I joke and mess around with on a daily-weekly-monthly- yearly-in general basis.

@chierafied @meldrymoon @mythicamagic @reifromrfa @joeys-piano @mrs-han @anon-drabble @shekilledthenightking @keeperofthefour @stormielikeweather @drosselmeyerwrites @quirky-and-kind @shittylongcat @uri59 and @space-kittie

Thank you all for what you have given me in our friendships and I can only hope that continues now into the future.

Now here's the fun part.

What will that story be, releasing in July?

I am releasing a sci-fi, lgbt romance, slowburn titled:

Stars within the Rose Roots

If you've made it this far, both in this post and alongside me all these years, then truly and sincerely—thank you.

So for now:

Please look forward to my next story 💕

[circular-time]

#so she might at least have tried to moderate that and answer questions about her past while hiding her present

i hadnt put it together like this but yeah oh thats exactly what shes doing! trying to offer yaz some insight in past concerns while still hiding new concerns (not like shes been doing such a great job talking about past concerns but the intention was there :P) which is obviously not what yaz wants like, yeah she wants to know about what was up but she also just wants the doctor to trust her with all things i think

and your tags about men writing relationships between women are on point too but im also like. why would they be good at that you know? like i think it's fine if men cant write relationships between women super well, just let women write! asdhkfjh just get a woman to write! (im still of the opinion that not having a female showrunner for the first female doctor was a big missed opportunity. like im very happy with what chibnall has done but that choice just doesnt make sense to me at all)

On the one hand YES YES YES RACHEL TALALAY SHOULDA BEEN SHOWRUNNER ARGH or at least more female writers to write/edit this.

But on the other hand I don't wanna let Chibs off the hook for using Jack and Dan (and even Ryan) to tell Thirteen and Yaz how they feel and act as catalysts for their relationship arc.

I started writing this about 6am and it somehow turned into one of my LONG POST IS LONG essays with lots of thinky thoughts, so... SPOILERS to Eve of the Daleks, and...

See, female writers write male characters broships and relationships all the time, and we don't think twice about it. Aside from fanfic, if you look at any genre, from mystery to SF, there's some pretty notable guy-guy friendships and teams written by female authors from Bunter and Peter Wimsey in Dorothy Sayers to Kirk, Spock and McCoy in ten jillion official Star Trek novels including (especially!) those penned by @dduane .

It's like how little girls grow up learning to identify with and empathize with male protagonists from Christopher Robin and Frodo to Luke Skywalker and Captain America, but there's still a lot of people — even folks we like such as Peter Davison — who don't realize the limitation they place on boys or the ramifications it has for society down the road by saying they need male role models because (obviously) they can't identify with a female protagonist such as the Thirteenth Doctor.

I dunno. I didn't watch the Marvel movies (gasp), but was there a female character stepping in all the time to moderate the relationship and facilitate communications between Steve and Bucky? Seems like that wouldn't be necessary to play out that kind of drama.

I'm happy that Yaz's crush on the Doctor isn't subtext and is being written as Just A Thing That Happens, never mind they're both women, she's had a crush for a long time, obviously, and the Doctor's very fond of her but It's Complicated (tm), and that's good drama. I really did cry when Yaz cried and said "what am I gonna do, Dan?" because bloody hell, we've been there, and okay it's even more of a mess because the Doctor is an alien who is hiding even her NAME, but that particular cry of distress parallels the experience of a queer person (a) realizing they're queer and (b) not wanting to destroy a great friendship when you don't know whether your friend would be freaked out by finding out their same-sex BFF has a crush on them. Because there's no going back when you say it, and that is always a danger.

THAT is real, and I commend Chibs for writing that bit of gay angst 500% spot on.

And I love the character of Dan. I can see why everyone was excited about John Bishop. I wish it had been a different season he came aboard, not during the only season we'll probably EVER get that had the the opportunity to explore a friendship/BFFship/somethingship between two women (why is that so, so, SO RARE in media, rarer than a transit of Venus in SF?) but given that Chibs is a limited writer who wants to be more inclusive but seems most comfortable writing female protagonists who are as repressed and uncommunicative and antisocial as a lot of male nerds 😉 Dan may have been the best way to get over the writer's block he seemed to be having in getting Yaz and the Doc to (gasp) actually COMMUNICATE. Except they still haven't. But there's at least some overtures on the Doctor's part, so maybe she'll say a few things five seconds before regenerating.

I'm okay with an f/f ship in canon that's doomed and doesn't play out. That happens with the m/f ships with the Doctor as well: it's a side effect of the Doctor hanging out with a species with such a short lifespan and different life experiences who can only see a few facets of them. As long as it plays out in a way that's true to character, and so far, it has. I hope the Doctor and Yaz will finally, FINALLY talk. And I hope Chibs can find a way to let Yaz get out of this ALIVE having become the person she wants to be, instead of having her whole life ruined by or changed in tragic ways by the Doctor, which seems to be the default companion exit of new who. That's one thing I liked about classic Who, that companions found themselves by traveling with the Doctor and made a better life with what they'd learned through their adventures, rather than becoming sucked into the Doctor's orbit like a planet getting too close to its star and getting burned/damaged/torn apart/violently flung away. Chibs gave Ryan and Graham a classic Who ending, and signs point to him intending to do the same for Yaz, so I have hope.

Which just leaves us with a big juicy question mark of bittersweet angst over how much more Thasmin we'll get before the end of all this. Because it's not the ONLY thing we want out of Jodie's last two eps, despite the fact we've been waiting for it so long. We want Thirteen (and Yaz!) to be heroic and wonderful characters and have a few more good times and great adventures before the end. This is just an added layer that's gonna make Jodie's departure hit us even harder than it would've already, despite her Doctor really being A Bit of an Asshole sometimes behind all the fun and and curiosity and mad delight and courage and feral daft Doctor-ishness.

... All of which is just my own biased opinion, obviously.

[starberry-cupcake]

Free Short Stories: Aromantic Recommendations

Aro week is over but I spent it reading aro stories that are entirely accessible online (with their authors' consent) and thought I'd share some with you, as well as some extra resources. I’m going to include under “read more” content warnings and specific details, like the kind of rep included or important notes, so if you want to be sure and safe before reading them, you can click “read more” for all that information, or if you prefer just the blurb, avoid it easily enough. There you will also find the extra links of interest and other masterposts.

Edit: This post used to be split in two parts, I’ve integrated them into one whole post for everyone’s convenience. 

1. Nkásht ii by Darcie Little Badger

Josie and Annie set to investigate a strange death that may involve more than they expected. Sometimes the love that heals isn’t romantic and bonds that are strong are those chosen.

2. Hope of the Future by Elizabeth Barrette

In a fantasy setting, a human cleric finds an elf bard and a strong female dwarf, all cast aside for their identities, and create their own home and family. The same characters also appear in another poem that continued their story: The Underground Gardens.

3. Tanith’s Sky by Penny Stirling

Ash is left with the loss of Tanith, after she sacrifices herself to save the world. Tanith's memories resurface in people's minds and Ash has to navigate their identity, their memories and how to label for others’ sake their lost relationship.

4. And If The Body Were Not The Soul by A. C. Wise

Ro is a human who forms an unlikely bond with an alien refugee, discovering a different layer of proximity that doesn't chain to the type of physicality humanity sets. In that process of discovery, Ro learns about the other side of the social oppression in their own city.

5. The Crows Her Dragon’s Gate by Benjanun Sriduangkaew

An exploration of the background and re-telling of the story of the goddess Xihe. Marrying out of the obligation of customs and pressure, this story explores the feelings of Xihe, her relationship with Di Jun and the freedom she ultimately seeks.

6. The Girl Turns West by Darcie Little Badger

Another tale set in Native American culture (the author is a Lipan Apache writer), this story is about family, sacrifice and forms of non romantic love and devotion that transcend the limits of life and death.

7. Kin, Painted by Penny Stirling

The narrator can’t find a place in a family that seems so determined, so certain, painted each in a specific way. A poetic prose filled with magic and the colors that we paint ourselves with, which can sometimes change with time.

8. Cucumber by Penny Stirling

A queerplatonic couple in a fantasy setting deals with social pressure in a story written in poetic verse.

9. The Famine King by Darcie Little Badger

A woman is chased by fear, memories and a being that affects her relationship with her own identity and mental health, while finding refuge in a found family. These characters are also included in a previous story called To Sleep.

10. How My Best Friend Rania Crashed A Party And Saved The World by Ada Hoffman

Emma, a Relator, finds out that her best friend Rania, a World Saver, is being used by her boyfriend and can lose her credibility as a Hero for it, so she enlists a tech-savvy Number Fiend, Deborah, to crash a high school party in a forbidden sector to confront the guy.

11. Unlike Most Tides by Darcie Little Badger

Mathilda is in peace with her solitude until she communicates with energy beyond her understanding and finds the voice of a murdered woman who asks her for help to deal with her killer: her ex boyfriend.

Content Warnings and Extra Details

1. Nkásht íí by Darcie Little Badger

Details: urban fantasy, folklore, suspense, aromantic lead character, main platonic relationship between female characters. CW: minor characters deaths, accidents, the death of a child is mentioned, domestic abuse in flashbacks.

2. Hope for the Future by Elizabeth Barrette

Details: aroace male lead in a poly relationship with a female and male character, fantasy, story in poetry, happy ending. CW: arophobia and acephobia, family abandonment.

3. Tanith’s Sky by Penny Stirling

Details: fantasy, sci fi, drama, hurt/comfort. Main qp relationship between an aroace cis female lead and a non binary allo lead. The aroace lead is dead by the start of the story, which I had my hesitation about, but the story does a wonderful job capturing Tanith’s life in an aftermath of what would be another untold story, as well as Ash’s identity and their relationship, as well as the process of grief and moving forward. CW: major character death, grief, depression, transphobia, arophobia and acephobia.

4. And If The Body Were Not The Soul by A. C. Wise

Details: explicitly touch-averse asexual non binary lead, very likely aromantic (expressed but not named in the text), sci fi, social strife, hurt/comfort, found family and friendship (nb and cis female, nb and alien friendships). Many commenters have expressed that Ro is potentially an autistic character, some autistic authors and reviewers have agreed or disagreed but I couldn’t find whether the author stated that at any point. CW: mild depictions of violence, xenophobia, social issues and unrest, happy ending.

5. The Crows Her Dragon’s Gate by Benjanun Sriduangkaew

Details: the goddess Xihe is depicted as aroace yet marries the god Di Jun for a time in which she lives troubled. Fantasy, mythology, re-interpretations, angst with a happy ending. CW: internalized acephobia and arophobia, dubious consent, violence, animal death, toxic marriage, there is a side wlw couple of mortals who die.

6. The Girl Turns West by Darcie Little Badger

Details: there isn’t romance in the story, the lead character doesn’t seemingly have romance in the future and there is a side female character who explicitly rejects suitors and prefers to live independently yet with her family. Considering that the author has written several aroace characters, I decided to include this one and another story in Part 2 as strong potentials (there is another story by the same author that other sites recommend as aro-representative, but I think these two are a lot less vague). Fantasy, mythology, folklore, bittersweet ending. CW: death mentions, wounds and accidents, blood mentions.

7. Kin, Painted by Penny Stirling

Details: poetic prose, fantasy, aromantic lead character, trans male character, non binary characters.

8. Cucumber by Penny Stirling

Details: fiction in poetry form, queerplatonic relationship in a fantasy setting. CW: arophobia and acephobia, social pressure.

9. The Famine King by Darcie Little Badger

Details: mystery, suspense, horror, folklore, hurt/comfort, angst w/optimistic ending, explicit non romantic & non sexual main relationship between to female characters. CW: blood, wounds, cannibalism mentions, mental illness with hallucination episodes, racism.

10. How My Best Friend Rania Crashed A Party And Saved The World by Ada Hoffman.

Details: high school setting, uplifting, sci fi, aroace lead character in a friendship with a heterosexual girl and a bisexual girl. CW: arophobia by the best friend, which is not confronted or discussed, mentions of racism. Notes: I read this story for the Pride list last year and I didn't include it because I had a bone to pick with Rania's character. The story is fun, a lot more lighthearted than many of the ones here and has a distinct tone that makes it good to include, plus Emma (the lead) is a very friendly, social and well-liked person, rather than the traditional robot/alien foil aro, ace and aroace characters tend to receive. So, even if I'm still uneasy about Rania and how her bad attitude is not acknowledged in the story, I’m still including it for all its perks.

11. Unlike Most Tides by Darcie Little Badger

Details: there is a protagonist who prefers to live in solitude and speaks about it and about her favorable feelings towards it. It isn’t explicitly stated that she is aromantic but, much like The Girl Turns West in Part 1, I’d say it’s a good addition to the list, though it's probably the least explicit of the bunch. Mystery, supernatural, sci fi, suspense, positive ending. CW: murder, corpses, side character death, blood, femicide.

Other masterposts:

@coolcurrybooks's first and second masterpost I consulted

Penny Stirling's recommendation list

LGBTQReads recommendations list

Claudie Arsenault recommendation list

Aro and Ace character database

Aroaessidhe recommendations list

YA Pride masterlist

My own LGBTQ+ free short stories rec list from last year, some of these stories are in it but the majority is not

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey i really love your blog!!! I just plucked the courage to actually send u an ask fhdjhd but GOSH i love your video edits and your gifs and your meta article posts, you're so articulate and you can explain/describe moments in a way that makes me go "oh wow, i cant believe i haven't seen it that way before!!" Haha ANYWAYS i'm just here to say that i completely agree with what all u said, Free creators might do a lil fanservice here and there for the 25 ships that exists within the fandom's circle, but rinharu's storyline is clearly the most romantic one! And i'd argue it's the one closest to being canon esp after part 1, i mean the fact that they put such an explosive emotional outburst right at the end of the second to the last movie means a lot. It's like reinforcing the fact that this series has always been about them, and everything that has happened only happened either because they met or they grew appart and miss eachother. I kinda feel like maybe.. juust maayyybe there's a chance KA wants to make the ship canon, since it's the last movie and they want to end it on a highnote maybe (bcs honestly i think the only reason they've been holding back is purely bcs of the merch sales, since they don't have a problem showing a wholesome lesbian love story in kobayashi maid dragon) butt i could be wrong, maybe i'm just overly optimistic and delusional, they could somehow ruin it and give an ending that panders to all the ships again 😅����, but at least there's a clear-cut guarantee that part 2 would dedicate a large portion of it fixing rin and haru's fight!!! Oohh how can i wait another 6 months now!!😭😭 (sorry for the long ask btw!! 🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️)

OMG thank you so so much!! For watching my vids too! ❤️❤️❤️ It really means a lot to me! Ahhhh wow, thats the longest ask I've ever recieved! 😍 I'm trying to explain myself so hard lol I'm glad its appreciated, bc sometimes I'm like "I don't fucking know how to say this" xD

Well, you know me, I only care for one ship, which is the only one with confirmed info that they're both actually gay and have mutual feelings for each other. There are some other ships in free! I'm fine with (those do not include Rin or Haru in them xD), but I just mostly don't care, bc after reading all the stuff, you can see that in some of those to one the other one is actually like his second option, which I just do not like. Others I just don't even see, bc again to me who witnessed great close male friendships and having two sisters who I'm very close to, I just do not see anything romantic in that.

It's not just Free! tbh, it's like any sports anime these days. They see two guys walking together, it's a ship. And like no one cares if they're just bros. Like I'd get i they did some fanservice fanservice, but like I never saw anyone in Free! crossing the line the way rinharu do. I can without thinking much name you 10 rh moments that no matter how hard you think can't be explain as being bros, but can't name one when it comes to others. I just find some ppl shipping everyone with everyone weird sometimes. It's like western fans see like some eastern actors or singers slap each other ass lovingly and they're like "oh they're fucking" I'm like "yeah, ofc all 500 of them, you're absolutely right". And Free! doesn't do anything even like that, I just do not get sometimes like what moment even brought on some ships. I'm genuinely confused. Albert and Haru? You fucking fell from a sakura tree or smth? I'm...

I'm especially confused when it comes to guys, whose character type is who I call "I only want this one and if I can't have it, then I'm ok" xD. It just always surprised me, when they try to pair up them with someone else, it's like a complete ooc.

I'm also not into this whole "well, if there are gays in this anime, than everyone there is gay". I'm like... huh. It's like with KNB and MDZS I had same feeling. It's like you have already couples there who are canon/borderline canon, why do you need another 10 who don't even interact or just don't even go there? I'm always so confused in those situations. Or like wangxian is married and some are like "no, I actually don't like it, let me write a fic when they're with other ppl". Lan Zhan... being in love or having sex with someone else? Yeah, that's not Lan Zhan, dude, you're writing about someone else. Might as well change the name at this point.

But last time I went to twitter someone had a thread about how if they make s4 of Free! they should mainly explore there Momo's angst (and no, it wasn't a joke), so I'm already like, I'm just.. nothing will surprise me no more. But I'm forever gonna be confused.

Yeah, I eel you about "going there". I mean seeing part of it, it just kinda cemented my confusion, bc I do not get how it can be considered platonic. We were just discussing since yesterday with @freeseafirefly how I now even more perplexed and do not understand how they will resolve it without going into relationship territory. It's just our point here is that like... no one forced them to go there (I mean its not like this whole fandom has some wild expectations or anything already), we were waiting or our usual friendship and swimming and maybe tiny conflict about struggles of pro-careers and some usual rh implications (maybe all the rh gay in dramas as always). Not some pure fanfiction coming to life here haha.

Like why I'm laughing is bc I twice used in my "fics" bringing up him leaving Haru as a force to push the confession, bc there's no way if he adresses this it won't lead to this. And now we not only have this (bc Haru just basically layed it out there), but an actual scene of him playing on their feelings for each other and a literal image of Rin leaving and "taking Haru's heart with him" to the point when he's for the first time in his life openly crying on the ground. And it's not like this scene can be interpreted as anything else, the whole fandom talks same, bc the whole fight was just about them, what Haru said was just about them, there's a literal boom of his heart getting out of his chest, before he falls and now he's heartless.

So our question is like... why go there?

It's like some say that they might still resolve it with "they're special to each other" and swimming, but still like we already knew that, there was no reason to go that far is what I'm saying. And to think that it was planned since forever giving the clues is like... ???

The whole spoon theme also throw me on the loop because like, lets be honest, it's wedding themed. And that part of the interview about part 2 there also made me go...?????? Because I mean, huh?

This is just all in all very interesting turn of events to say the least. I do not see the point of all of this if its not what I think it is, esp after seeing tweets like "even I see a rh wedding and I'm mh T_T". It's just all very unsubtle, that's why we're confused.

Like who knows, maybe we'll really by some magic turn of events get lucky and they really decided that since its the ending, it's okay to go for it. But I also don't wanna to hype myself much, I'm already really happy with it, just bc again, this scene already proves all of my points.

And yeah, I'm sure they'll pander to everyone, bc it's the end and etc and we have to handle everything on the good note and there's a whole line of ppl who's obsessed with us, esp with Haru xD, but like bromance pandering and romance pandering are different things, you know *wiggles eyebrows* and u know who always gets the second one.

[birb-tangleblog]

Rise of Flynn Rider - THOUGHTS

THE PROMISED LONGER POST ON THE RISE OF FLYNN RIDER- spoiler warning!

Ok so first off, a very brief summary: the book centers on Eugene and Arnie (Lance), childhood best friends. The orphanage they've grown up in is financially struggling, under threat by a crooked tax collector, and they're both aging out of the system; the only clue Eugene has to his parents is a letter from the woman who left him there, which is signed with a ~mysterious symbol~. When a traveling circus run by the Baron (yes, that Baron) passes through town and Eugene learns of a possible lead on his past, the two boys reinvent themselves, join up, and eventually end up entangled in a scheme to steal from the King and Queen of Corona. 

I won't lie, I enjoyed this one a lot- it was a fun read, very cozy to curl up with, and even with some contradictions, it felt like a novel that was derivative of the series and set in that world. There are a lot of cameos and references, enough that I think most TTS fans will find something they like to nibble on.

Like I said in my earlier post abt the prologue and first few chapters, I'm so happy that Lance got a role alongside Eugene- he's definitely a secondary character to Eugene’s main, and he does get sidelined somewhat, but it's charming to see his friendship with Eugene and his growing passion for cooking. 

'I didn't expect anything, so I'm more delighted and pleasantly surprised than genuinely unhappy with the execution' is a running theme with this book for me and basically the tl;dr of this write-up.

There are soo many cameos and little treats- I get the impression Calonita didn't have the most complete knowledge of the series, but her chats with Chris and interest in the series’ writing definitely show. King Edmund, the Stabbingtons, all of the pub thugs, Weasel, Stalyan, and the Baron all make appearances, and we get cameos from Cap, Maximus, Pascal's mother, and even Cass gets a name drop. Several series-exclusive locations are also mentioned by name- Vardaros, the Spire, and the Forest of No Return.

I'm not immune to the fannish hit of 'hey! I understand that reference!' and I really enjoyed hunting for easter eggs, so even if the presence of the pub thugs in the Baron's crew, or the boys stumbling on Rapunzel's tower in one scene and making nothing of it (yea that happened) is a lil questionable, it made me smile and I can't be mad.

I would just describe this book as 'comfy'.

(That said, I'm a little unsure who all those references are for- I feel like if you hadn't seen the series, you'd lack context and some details would be meaningless, but if you had, I think you might long for more depth and exploration...)

Structure & Progression

Here's the part where I start criticizing the book aimed at middle and elementary schoolers lmao

It's a v short book, but the plot progression still feels a little scattered- it didn’t feel quite like a heist OR a mystery. The subplot that takes up a lot of focus is actually interpersonal conflict between Lance and Eugene- and they reconcile, but not after spending much of the book in a standoff due to a misunderstanding/'liar revealed' trope.

One of Eugene's motivations for joining the circus is spotting a man with a mark on his arm that matches the one from his letter working there, and believing he'll be able to learn more abt his parents from him. He doesn't disclose this to Lance right away, and when it comes out later on, he's upset that Eugene didn't tell him- he feels tricked, and like Eugene's prioritizing his biological family over their bond. I had a hard time with this, b/c I honestly think Eugene could've literally said to Lance, 'hey, joining this circus is a great opportunity to travel, make money, send some back to the orphanage, AND I found something about my parents, will you come with me?' and Lance still would've jumped on it. Later on, there's also another similar miscommunication that deepens the rift. 

It feels like manufactured drama, and I would've loved a book of the two of them just being buds, bouncing off each other, and trying to unravel the mysteries of the DK symbol and the Baron's ulterior motives together. Lance's fears of being left behind by his friend absolutely could've surfaced without the misunderstandings, especially the closer they got to the truth. (And I don't think that'd have been dissimilar to the unused 'Trial' episode concept and flashback.)

The pacing itself... meanders. After the boys complete an initiation mission to get a hold of a special key for the Baron, time passes (two weeks in-story) and there's some slice of life as they learn the ropes, get inducted into a lifestyle of thieving (it’s revealed the circus is a front for a crime ring), and get to know the Baron's crew.

I liked these parts and would've kept them in a longer book! But maybe there could've been some fine-tuning here so big events (Eugene stealing for the first time, the heist, the meeting with the mysterious Man with the Mark) weren’t so one-and-done. There are several points where nothing's really happening because the characters can't quite connect with each other, or they're waiting around for an opportunity passively, and that makes for a frustrating exp for me as a reader.

There were also lot of elements I thought were getting set up to come into play later, but not a lot of follow through? The folk hero Lance Archer is mentioned several times and has wanted posters, but we never meet him in the flesh. The Man with the Mark is revealed to be a former member of the Brotherhood(!) named Vedis(!!), but he isn't seen again after Eugene speaks with him... once. (More on this later this post is getting so long omg) 

The Baron’s plan is revealed to be stealing a reward offered for the lost princess when it’s on display to the public during a festival. Eugene and Lance balk b/c stealing doesn’t sit well with them, especially when it’s from what are ultimately a family trying to find their lost child- they decide to do the right thing by foiling the scheme/stealing it back and returning it to the royals. It goes a bit pear-shaped and they’re caught, but are forgiven and face no consequences after explaining, other than being ousted from the circus/crime ring and making enemies of the Baron. Eugene hasn’t given up on finding the DK, but he realizes he already has a family in Lance, and that’s the most important thing; the two resolve to travel the world and have adventures together.

I want to make another post on it, but at the least it feels like a foregone conclusion given we know ‘Flynn Rider’ goes on to become a renown thief who steals the crown of the lost princess- that’s literally the plot of the movie, and being a dashing rogue is Flynn’s defining trait- so even aside from questionable ideas about wealth, class, and morality, the novel’s ending doesn’t fit what’s firmly established about his character, and I think big fans of Eugene might have an even harder time with that then me. 

(I’m very suspicious that there might’ve been some executive meddling in an attempt to soften young Eugene’s character, and send a more palatable/upstanding message to children- it feels like Disney editing the old SW films to show Han didn’t shoot first.)

It’s def one of those novels where you can take some elements you like and leave others, but overall I’d still rly rec it for series fans! I’ve been buzzing and what-iffing about it for a few days, and I got some tasty tidbits on the characters and nods to the series, which is exactly what I wanted out of it.

And maybe it’s a funky take, but honestly I want to think of this book as the beginning of an alternate timeline where Lance and Eugene got out of crime earlier, Eugene got a clue abt his heritage by chance, and it changed his course. I think embracing the retcons and contradictions to canon makes for an interesting angle, and you’ll enjoy it more if you don’t take it too seriously.