#there's no way this is gonna be however many episodes of small child gets traumatized: the series but like. that DOES have to be there imho

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

On the one hand: Why did anyone decide that Muppet Babies Young Sheldon Lupin Zero was a thing that needed to exist in a series famously allergic to giving out reliable backstory/lore, especially for its title character?

On the other hand: Visually, it looks like the animation is really going back to its roots, which means I am duty-bound to watch it

[dreamywriterinthedark]

Losing you pt III: Picking up the pieces

Pairing: Spencer x Reader

Category: angst, slight fluff.

Resume: Reader struggles to get over a traumatic experience and isolates themselves. They have an outburst, Spencer finds them in the middle of it and offers a helping hand.

Trigger warnings: death, blood, trauma, anger issues, alcohol (please let me know of something was forgotten)

A/N: I don’t know how I feel about this series. Let me know if you like it or what you would like to see. This is what would’ve happened if Linda Barnes was leader of the team. I’m guessing this is a bit of homage to Elle who deserved better. I would love to hear your feedback and whether you want a fourth part. Thanks <3

You slipped off your blind fold, your calmness was interrupted by the broad figure in front of your eyes. The hooded man slowly made his way towards you.

“Please, don’t kill me!” you screamed at the top of your lungs. He looked at you with such viciousness as if he was planning all the horrendous things he was going to do to you in his head. You rose up panting from another hostile episode slapping the light switch of the lamp on your nightstand.

You were on your bed completely exhausted yet wide awake. You could not allow yourself to sleep because every time you did you woke up in sweats due hallucinations and nightmares. You could not differentiate what was real and what was an illusion anymore. You walked to your kitchen pouring yourself a glass of water, your hands were so shaky you dropped the glass and flenched at the sound. By trying to pick up the pieces you cut your hand, the sight of blood on your hands brought you back to that night when you almost died and your boss hardly bat an eye.

Your vision was getting blurred whether it was your brain making you depersonalise or your tears clouding your view you couldn’t tell. You were uncontrollably sobbing. That’s when it hit you, you needed help. You hated yourself for it, it flet like you were a burden. However, you felt guilt creep in furthermore when you saw your phone light up with all the texts, all the calls you ignored making the team even more worried. You swiped the notification from your 13 missed calls making your phone call Spencer. You felt a rush go through your vein, a rush to abort whatever mission you were on, the rush to flight. The kind of rush that could’ve saved your life.

After two rings you hung up feeling stupid, now wondering if you woke him up for nothing. You slammed your phone on your kitchen counter. The anger levels spiking, overtaking the small amount of rational thoughts in your head. You sighed running your hands through your hair. Completely numb, more and more glass shattered on the floor. Once the energy was in too limited quantity in your body. You grabbed a bottle of wine chugging from it in your bathtub like a child trying to avoid family gatherings. You cried until you were too dehydrated to keep the tears flowing, until your eyes were swollen.

The ring of your doorbell caught your attention. Or was it another cruel hallucination ? You were going to ignore it until you heard it be rung once more. You checked who it was through the lense.

“Shit,” you swore, it was Spencer.

“Open the door, Y/n. I know you’re here.” you rolled your eyes at Spencer’s request your back pressed against the cold steel.

“I’m a mess.” you responded trying to dissuade him to come in.

“Your mess is my mess. I’m your home, remember ?”

You smiled detaching yourself from the door unlocking it. He pressed the handle letting his weight make the door shift open. You were brushing with a broom the glass pieces to the side to allow him to circulate safely in your apartment. He saw the blood on your floor, the bandage on your hand; he solved the puzzle himself. You turned to him, no words were needed, he saw the look in your eyes. He cupped the back of your head with one of his hands and wrapped his arm around your torso carefully, gently as if you were as fragile as fine china. You wrapped your arms around his waist breathing in his scent. He pulled away, both hands at the side of your head.

“I want to be that person you can tell anything to. The good and the bad.”

You looked up at him. “Barnes is considering suspending me because I did not follow his orders. Spencer, I had no choice…” he could hear your heart break in your voice.

“She’s not allowed to do this.” He informed you.

“She’s not ?” He nodded in response.

“She violated protocole in the first place by using governmental fund for a case too personal to him. He got his proof only by putting you in a position of danger when she needed it to act. Like you said you had no other choice. I’ve done it before, I was never reprimanded me.”

“Yeah cause you’re a man. If a man kills a rapist, he’s a hero but if a woman does it, she’s a cold-blooded crazy murderer. Gosh, I miss Emily.”

“Talk about double standards.” Spencer said, “You know, she misses you too, we all do.”

“I doubt it, honestly. I was so determined to get her validation it almost cost me my life. Maybe I should just let her know how I feel.”

“Yeah, you definitely should.”

“But what am I even gonna say to her ? What if she’s right ? What if I’m actually delusional or dangerous ?”

“Hey, hey, Y/n. Slow down.”

“Please talk some sense to me. It’s like I’m going out of my mind!”

“It wasn’t your fault. It was legitimate defence. I saw it, the whole team saw it and has your back.” he reassured you, his face closer to yours.

“Should I write her a-“

“No, you’re not doing anything tonight.” He interrupted you. “Just go take a shower then we can talk about it. Sounds good ?” you nodded to respond to him which he, as usual didn’t mind even after going on an endless monologue.

While you were in the shower, he cleaned up the mess your anger made. Once you were done, you sat down on your matcha green sofa watching the sunrise. “It’s already 4am ?! I’m so sorry for keeping you awake.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m a night owl anyways so it’s nothing out of the ordinary. Did you know that falling asleep late is linked with a high IQ ?” he said making his way to you with two cups of tea.

“Then I must be a genius.” you answered half jokingly. “Oh thank you.” you took hold of the warm but not steamy cup in your hands. You remembered Spencer once telling you that the reason why so many dislike tea is because they think it tastes like dirt, it’s not supposed taste like that, see, if the water is burning hot it’s going to burn the leaves and speed the infusion process making it too concentrated. You turned to look at him, he was already looking.

“Sometimes I wonder how you can put up with me.”

“Because I love you.” He never failed to remind you how much he loves you even especially on your worst days. You explained what had been going on, he debunked and dismantled every question pending in you head, every lie your brain told you. It felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. For the first time in a while, you felt safe in your own home. Instead of your alarm clock, the sound of the birds were ringing in you ears. You both agreed to go talk to Barnes to solve whatever the problem was that morning. “I’m not going down without a fight, especially not when it comes to that bitch!” Spencer boldly commented to your surprise. You weren’t healed just yet but at least you got out and socialised. At least you opened up to someone you could trust.

You stepped out of the elevator one hand holding coffee, the other holding your boyfriend’s hand. Everyone walked up to you giving you a hug and greeting you. Penelope was so enthusiastic it was overwhelming.

“Long time no see,” commented Luke. “You too,” you hugged him back.

“What happened to your hand ?” asked JJ.

“I dropped a glass.” you nervously responded, you were telling the truth…at least part of it.

“Welcome back!” said Tara squeezing an embrace as well.

“Oh I don’t know about that just yet.” you said to her.

“We need to talk to Barnes first.” added Spencer.

“Whatever happens, we’re with you, Y/n” said Garcia. The others agreed, it felt good to be supported, so much you regret isolating yourself for so long.

Silence made its way into a conversation that was once filled by joy. You threw your coffee in the trash can before turning your body towards his office. Spencer, resting his hand on your back, asked “Are you ready, darling ?” You took in a deep breath sharply, nodding your head yes without taking your gaze off the door.

[theboywantscoffee]

The Handler is really a fascinating character to me as is her dynamic with Five and how alike they are. Get ready because I’m gonna go on a tangent about them.

I think it goes without saying that in many ways The Handler and Five are very similar people. They’re both pragmatic, goal orientated, cold, and quite simply, both willing to do absolutely anything needed to achieve what they want despite the repercussions others might face at their expense. They both lack a significant level of humanity, something that clearly is a requirement  to be able to do the work they do/did at the Commission. They are constantly at a battle of wits  and attempting to one up the other, both proving to be a formidable foil to the other consistently throughout the show. 

Where things start to contrast between the two is how they grew to be the people they are now. With Five, well, we know why he is the way he is. Five isn’t simply just a product of his childhood. Yes, he still retains a good level of characteristics from his youth into adulthood (arrogant, brash, sees himself as better than everyone else) but Five ultimately was sculpted into the man he is today due to his time subjected to the apocalypse and then shortly after, the Commission. 

The apocalypse did a number on Five. It isolated him for over four decades. It tore layer after layer of humanity away from him until he was left so distanced from other people that segueing into becoming an assassin was like second nature. It forced him to become entirely dependent on himself for survival in every aspect of the word. Physically, of course, he had to take care of all his basic survival needs; food, water, shelter, first aid, etc. Mentally and emotionally? He created a whole ‘nother person in the form of a mannequin to help him retain any semblance of either of those things. It damaged Five so deeply that afterwards he was left almost entirely incapable of empathy (key word, almost), unable to ask others for help/acknowledge he needs help, and able to see assassination as a reasonable means to justify an end. 

Five was left broken by the apocalypse. He is a product of it. And after going through that traumatic ordeal, he was offered a way out but only through accepting employment at the organization that sat by and allowed his suffering to go on for decades. (I’d love to go into the body modifications/DNA manipulation but that isn’t canon compliant for the show anyway (yet) so I won’t). He was transformed into the perfect killing machine. He took the lives of anyone and everyone who stood out of line by the Commission’s standards. Many who I’m sure weren’t actually bad people (ex, Lila’s parents), but because they were deemed irregularities in the timeline (or they were someone who The Handler could benefit from their death, ex Lila’s parents), they had to go. One doesn’t complete a task like that regularly without lacking a level of morality or connection to fellow humankind. 

But The Handler? We don’t really know her back story at all, so perhaps this is going out on a limb here, but I can at the very least say that she did not go through what Five did. There is really no one in the series whose backstory can equate to Five’s. And while I am not entirely excusing Five for being a shitty person sometimes, he and The Handler are very different in the fact that while he was sculpted into one, I think The Handler was just born an awful, monstrous human being. Actually worse than Five. And you know why?

The Handler isn’t even capable of love or empathy or putting anyone else before herself. We don’t see this at all, not even once. The Handler does things strictly for the benefit of herself and no one else. Even when her own self proclaimed daughter asks her if she ever loved her, The Handler doesn’t answer and then proceeds to murder her. Que sera, sera. (Whatever will be, will be). No remorse. No regret. Nothing.

Five, for all of his faults and flaws and uh, murder, still remains more connected to humanity than The Handler. Despite everything he has experienced, everything he has lost, he still has an inkling of heart that’s still beating for others left in him. Because Five still does love and care for people - his entire life purpose is to keep those people, his family, safe and alive, even at the expense of his own happiness and life. Five puts his family before himself every episode, every damn step of the way. He survives 40+ years alone and then works as an assassin for an unspoken measurement of time, all to save his family. 

The Handler throws up the front of being a people person and charming. And she does it really damn well. But in reality she is not morally gray. She doesn’t do some good things and some awful things. She is just all around horrible. She employs Five, again, to work for the organization that tore so much away from him. She dangles the idea of a new body before him, gives him a suit with the claim, “clothing make the man, Five,” as if he isn’t something to be taken seriously in his current physical state, as if he still isn’t the man who survived a lifetime in the end of the world and becoming an assassin. She claims that Five owes her because she ‘saved him from a lifetime of being alone’, which in actuality she watched and allowed him to suffer exactly just that. (I have another meta on here about that scene in particular, which you can read HERE). She tricks Five into murdering the board so she can assume power, all under the guise of claiming to help him get his family back to 2019, only to then use him as a scapegoat in their assassination. She literally kills him (almost) and all of his siblings. She writes the kill order on Lila’s parents, lets Five kill them, and then kidnaps Lila all for her own benefit. She continuously lies to her, ultimately betrays her, and kills her too. She sees zero wrongness in kidnapping a disabled boy from his mother so she can transform him into her weapon just like she did Lila. There isn’t a single instance in the entirety of the show where The Handler shows even an ounce of regret, only shock and anger when things don’t go her way. She is power hungry, merciless, and quite possibly even deranged with how unemotive she is towards other human beings.

And one more thing I want to touch on with The Handler that is a bit of a controversial topic in the show - her handsey-ness with Five. Her unnecessary touching and closeness. I am a firm non believer of the idea many have that her and Five used to be involved romantically or physically in any way. I think it’s quite a reach to imagine Five trusting her whatsoever at any point during their time knowing one another. Five is observant as hell and smart - I just can’t see him ever having an ounce of trust in her, especially with again, how she blatantly admits to him when they first meet that the Commission has been watching him for some time. So no, I don’t think her creepy touches with him have anything to do with a former fling (even if Kate or Aidan play into it that way or claim they might have in the past - sorry, headcanon not accepted lol). 

I view her behavior as demeaning. I see it as her being condescending towards him, like, “Oh, see how you betrayed me and now look at how you fucked up. Small and weak and nothing to be taken seriously.” She treats him like the tiny child he has physically become and she does it to make him feel inferior and like he has no control of the situation he is in or his life. It’s a slap in the face, a reminder of what he has done to himself because he left the Commission, and she does it because she knows how much it bothers him to be perceived that way. Everything she does and says around Five, she does to make him feel small. 

All in all, I really do love The Handler. Do I love that she played a larger role in season 2 than Carmichael? Absolutely not. I don’t love what her character did for the writing or the plot of the show and how it backburnered a lot of things. I think they missed out greatly on a character who was already a fascinating antagonist to Five (Carmichael). However, Kate Walsh is an absolute delight to watch on screen. Her and Aidan have great chemistry and play off one another very well and their scenes are certainly some of my most favorite to watch. I think The Handler is an amazing villain and keeping her as a female as opposed to a male Jon Hamm esque actor as they originally were intending to do was a great idea IMO. I love a female bad ass, even if she is a villain. I’m sad we won’t see more of her purely because she is so fun to watch (and her wardrobe is utter goals) but I’m definitely ready to move on to the next set of antagonists for our favorite dysfunctional family.

[ivandra-winters]

OBLIGATORY WANDAVISION THEORY- SPOILERS BELOW

So, a lot of questions got answered this episode (why yes, I AM currently reveling in the fact that the ‘Mephisto being behind the Hex’s creation’ theory was denied!), I think there’s still a lot to unpack in terms of theories.

First of all, it appears that Agatha’s motivations wasn’t to feed off of Wanda’s powers- as I originally thought- it’s to understand how the fuck Wanda was able to do all of this in the first place (get in line, bitch). It’s very clear at the start of the epsiode that Agatha thought Wanda was just a witch who somehow learned how to maintain numerous spells at the same time, and didn’t realize that Wanda had no idea what was happening until after her first memory. By the end of the episode, I get the sense that Agatha is both genuinely frightened of Wanda and extremely jealous of her. That’s why her next move was to openly threaten the boys: if she didn’t have that barganing chip, then there’s no telling what Wanda would do to her after being made to realize exactly how much she’s capable of. It’s also worth noting that it appears that even as a child, Wanda was capable of small unconscious reality alterations since it’s heavily implied that she changed reality to make the second bomb defective to protect herself and her brother.

Which brings me to the creation of the Hex. My theory is that Hayward- as many are speculating- manipulated Wanda’s grief into using her powers to alter reality. I do not, however, believe he intended for her to create the Hex. I can almost guarentee that one of two things happened: either A) he was trying to get Wanda to just bring Vision back so that S.W.O.R.D. could use him as a weapon, or B) he wanted Wanda to become his sentient weapon. Think about it: if they had Wanda’s energy alreadygv and now have their own version of Vision, why are they still bothering with the Hex? Wouldn’t it be in Hayward’s best interest to just get Vision’s body onlne and then just fuck off?

Which brings me to what’s going to happen next. It’s my personal theory that we’re about to get a three-way battle of sorts: Super Fam & Monica (and possibly Peter, but can’t get my hopes up) vs. a S.W.O.R.D. invasion into Westview vs. Agatha. There’s probably gonna be a Vision v. New!Vision battle, as well as some direct magic-on-magic fighting between Wanda and Agatha. At the end, I’m guessing the only way this is gonna end is for Wanda to take down the Hex and, A) possibly face a horde of townsfolk whose anger might resort in her losing control again (unlikely, but based on the trailers, is possible) or B) she’s gonna have to go the therapy because holy shit is my baby traumatized.

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 70 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 76 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

--

RATE THE EPISODE 74 responses

Although the response to this week’s episode was still overwhelmingly positive, with 95.9% of responses giving the episode 3 or higher, it was a bit lower in comparison to the previous one. 

Epic

Very amazing a 💯/10✊

I loved it, as always

Gabi episode? NO BUENO.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING GABI AND FALCO MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 74 responses

Gabi and Falco’s escapades took up the vast majority of the episode, so we wanted to know which one of them was your favorite. An equal amount of respondents (28.4%) seemed to prefer either the moment wherein Gabi came under attack from that perfidious horse or Kaya remembering Sasha and how she saved her life years ago. Closely behind those (25.7%) are the folks preferring the argument between Gabi and Kaya. Another semi-popular option was the scene wherein Kaya showed Gabi and Falco her former village.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS FOCUSING ON OTHER CHARACTERS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 73 responses

We also had a fair bit of scenes focused on characters besides Gabi and Falco. For this question, there was a rather noted diversity in opinions. 24.7% seemed privy to seeing a recurrence of Mikasa’s headache and the flashback to Eren’s killing of the traffickers. 15.1% were most interested in seeing Hange remember Sannes’ warning about the cycle. An equal number of responses (13.7%) were most interested in either seeing the discussion between Magath and the rest of the Warriors on their further actions or seeing Hange confront Floch and the rest of the recruits about their recent actions in regards to Eren. Finally, 11% said that their favorite moment was either seeing the conversation between Mikasa and Louise or the conversation between the warriors and shirtless Reiner. A few folks also indicated their enjoyment of the scene wherein Hange was heckled by the civilians or the conversation between Pixis and Yelena.

WHICH FLASHBACK HAD THE MOST EMOTIONAL IMPACT FOR YOU? 73 responses

We’ve had a few small flashbacks in this episode and it seems like the definitive majority (58.9%) enjoyed the flashback about Kaya getting saved by Sasha. 26% were most privy to seeing Mikasa remember Eren killing the kidnappers many years ago and 13.7% enjoyed seeing Hange remember Sannes’ warning. One person liked catching the sight of Mikasa’s actions in Trost.

RATE JEAN’S OUTFIT 73 responses

Jean decided to try out a new style, courtesy of Coco Chanel, the Paradis Collection. Not too many were impressed, however, with only 34.8% giving Jean’s fit a 4 or a 5. 24.7% gave it a 3, the rest gave it a lower score.

WHO WERE YOU MORE EXCITED ABOUT TO SEE SHIRTLESS? 72 responses

It looks like Eren won this round when it comes to the showdown of AoT’s rare fan service scenes with 75%. 

AOT men are immaculate

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO TALK TO YELENA? 73 responses

Yelena looks to be a rather popular girl, with 53.4% of respondents noting that they would totally appreciate an opportunity to talk to her. 23.3% aren’t sure and 11% really wouldn’t, in contrast. 12.3% simply don’t care.

WHICH NEW DETAIL DID YOU GET MOST EXCITED ABOUT? 72 responses

For this question, we got a rather colorful pie chart. 26.4% of respondents stated that the existence of a flying boat fueled by iceburst stones is the most interesting detail. That was followed by, in order from more interesting to less interesting according to the poll takers, Blouse family’s involvement with Historia’s orphanage, Yelena making contact with Eren beforehand, the girl Sasha saved in Episode 2 of S2 being Kaya’s identity, the confirmation that Louise was the girl Mikasa saved back in Trost and fact that Floch and his co-minded folks leaked information about Eren to the press and the existence of Eren’s “home”.

GABI SPENDS A LOT OF THE EPISODE SPOUTING OUT THE THINGS SHE’S BEEN BRAINWASHED TO BELIEVE, A CONTRAST TO FALCO WHO IS MUCH MORE OPEN-MINDED. THOUGHTS? 72 responses

Gabi shouted out a lot of questionable things in this episode, at various points. We’ve asked how the respondents felt about it. The plurality, 37.5% simply saw it as a rather sad state for her. In contrast, 27.8% were actually annoyed with her for that. 16.7% thought that it might have been, perhaps, a result of her attempting to fool herself. We also received a lot of write-ins.

Gabi's IQ is a bit low or she has been brainwashed harder than others

I think it’s just hard for her to see it any other way because she is so young. She was starting to be shaped like reigner, Annie bertholdt. 

I understand why she acts like that. Doesn't make it any less annoying tho

I feel so bad for her. Marleyan propaganda and indoctrination is one hell of a drug

Gabi sucks and she just is a trash character

She's just a kid trying to deal with a lot of trauma and new contradicting information whilst also having a winning attitude. Her negative feelings toward Eldians is familiar and so constant hatred is just a coping mechanism.

It only makes sense for her to act this way. Falco and Colt had to join the warriors unit to redeem their uncle’s crimes as part of the restorationists. Gabi has been praised and fed false propaganda her whole life, so yes she would have a harder time rejecting her race’s past history. Children are easier to manipulate/brainwash than adults.

I think she’s clinging to what she knew because she had based her whole identity and goals in life off of these facts. Admitting that these things might not be true would be like denying who she is?? Y’know 

Immovable object (my hatred for Gabi because I find her annoying and she killed Sasha) vs unstoppable force (me recognizing she is a child in a traumatic situation who has been brainwashed and raised to believe she must atone for things she is not actually responsible for)

A bit annoying, but I'm hopeful that she will slowly change her mind. Maybe due to realizing Sasha was actually a good person through Kaya/seeing she's no different from them?

HOW DO YOU THINK GABI’S BELIEFS WOULD HAVE DEVELOPED HAD SHE BEEN THE ONE TO MEET EREN INSTEAD OF FALCO? 73 responses

An interesting what-if comes about when thinking about Gabi possibly meeting Eren instead of Falco all those weeks ago and how that would have impacted her personal beliefs. A slight majority (50.7%) believe it wouldn’t have changed much, if at all as a result of that possible meeting. 20.5% think that Gabi would have taken somewhat of a middle-ground position when taking her current and Falco’s current beliefs into account. 17.8% can’t really say for sure and 8.2% don’t seem to care. Only a few believe that Gabi would have started to feeling differently back then.

GABI SEEMS TO BE GENUINELY SCARED WHEN INITIALLY EATING AT THE BLOUSE’S HOME. ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW BADLY DID YOU FEEL FOR HER? 73 responses

It doesn’t appear that Gabi has garnered that much sympathy for her near breakdown, with 49.3% noting that they really didn’t feel much, if any, sympathy for Gabi. In contrast, 50.6% said that they felt some noted degree of sympathy, mostly on a moderate scale. 

It makes me sick to my stomach seeing Sasha's family just treating Gabi so nicely. I know they don't know she's Sasha's killer but I'd really like to see them go horror-flick on her ass and kill her when they learn the truth

THERE SEEMS TO BE A CLASHING OF IDEOLOGIES BETWEEN HANGE AND FLOCH REGARDING WHAT’S BEST FOR THE ISLAND. WHO WOULD YOU SIDE WITH IN THIS SITUATION? 72 responses

Floch states that Eren ensured Paradis a path to survival via the ability to initiate the rumbling, while Hange shows skepticism that the rumbling is even a probable solution to their problems, feeling they should secure their freedom in other ways. 52.8% seem to feel the same way that Hange does, while only 27.8% would take Floch’s side in this differing of views. 12.5% think neither of them are wholly correct and feel there are other options. 

Both should co-operate 

Fuck ever agreeing with Floch. Who is he to even question their authority. Sit back buddy, relax, have a breather. You only became a main character this season, nothing bads gonna happen if wittle baby ewen is in jail for COMMITING WARCRIMES and forcing his superiors to cater to him. That's lit-rally how the army works. 

I want to say I side with floch, but I don’t trust eren. 

I don’t know for sure

I think they're both right in their own way. 

dont like floch lol

Wish Gabi would've shot Floch instead of Sasha :/

REGARDLESS OF YOUR ANSWER IN THE PREVIOUS QUESTION, DO YOU THINK EREN DESERVED TO BE JAILED? 73 responses

Nearly 55% of respondents feel that Eren absolutely deserved to be jailed for his actions in Marley, regardless of how they answered the previous question. Only 35.6% feel that he was wrongfully locked up.

Jailing him is just tradition at this point 

idk

Yeah. You fuck up and you do the time. If you want to make decisions and live 'freely', don't become a soldier. Simple???

Eren did some war crimes, time to sit in the time-out box 

He definitely needs to be observed and perhaps questioned, but not jailed. I thought that wasn't really a great move. 

I don't know

How many times has Eren been in jail now? He's obviously not gonna be staying there for long

Reprimanded a little bit for not trusting his team, but didn't deserve jail

DO YOU THINK HANGE IS FALLING INTO THE CYCLE THAT SANNES WARNED THEM ABOUT? 71 responses

Hange remembers Sannes’ words about how someone always steps into the role he once played prior to the Uprising Arc. 67.6% feel that Hange, whether intentional or not, is falling into the cycle that Sannes and his comrades perpetuated for years before them. 19.7% feel the opposite, however, and believe that Hange wouldn’t let things get that bad. 

I don’t know why I can’t remember who sannes is rn. 

yes but i feel like she will realize this and try to change 

I can’t say yet

Yes, to a degree but this doesn't mean they've past the point of no return. Everything the previous government did could have started with good intentions similar to Hange now but those intentions eventually morphed and corrupted. 

i dunno

Maybe i'm not sure only time will tell

I think that can't be said for sure until we see how she acts/responds to this realization

Maybe

LOUISE SEEMS TO ADMIRE MIKASA TO THE POINT OF OBSESSION, BUT HOW DO YOU THINK MIKASA FEELS ABOUT HER? 73 responses

Half of respondents feel that Mikasa’s demeanor toward Louise stems from her feeling as though she can relate to the girl in some way. The remainder of responses were rather mixed, with 15.1% feeling that Mikasa simply feels sorry for her, and at a tie for 11%, either feel that she finds Louise annoying or is just generally indifferent toward her.

WHAT DO YOU THINK SEEMS TO BE THE TRIGGER FOR MIKASA’S SUDDEN HEADACHES? 73 responses

Mikasa’s headaches, while they don’t get much of a focus, tend to happen infrequently throughout the series. Though, her headache in episode 70 appears to be a bit more traumatic for her than ones we have seen in the past. 27.4% feel that these headaches are likely related to her Ackerman biology, while 20.5% think that it can be explained as simply PTSD. 15.1% think that it’s her “Eren sense,” so to speak. Small handfuls feel it’s something more related to Paths/The Coordinate, or a mixture of her Ackerman and Asian biology. 21.9% still aren’t really sure what to make of these. Will Isayama give us answers?!

the wine has to have something to do with it????

It's those damn ~PATHS~

HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN THE HORSE BIT GABI? 72 responses

The horse gets the gold start this week for giving Gabi a little bit of karmic justice. 65.3% appeared to enjoy the little misfortune Gabi had to endure thanks to the horse’s shenanigans. 19.4% agree that this was surely the work of devils! And 15.3% felt genuinely bad for Gabi during this moment. 

Horse !!!!!!

Wish that horse would have bit Garbage's head off xD

Horse got some revenge for Sasha! Here's hoping someone ot something else will finish her off permanently!

*falco voice* GAAAAAABIIIIII

Thank you Horse-kun!

WE ASKED THIS A FEW WEEKS AGO, BUT WE WILL ASK YOU AGAIN. WILL GABI CHANGE HER VIEWS ABOUT THE PEOPLE ON PARADIS? 73 responses

56.2% of respondents feel confident that Gabi’s views of Paradis will change by the conclusion of her character arc. 12.3% are still adamant that nothing will be able to sway her views. The remainder continue to be uncertain. 

I hope gabi changes her views. But she seems pretty set 

I don't honestly know if Gabi will change her views, but killing Sasha was enough to make me ALWAYS hate her no matter what kind of development she may get

Will Gabi change? I don't know but I don't care. Nothing will undo her killing Sasha.

DO YOU THINK GABI AND FALCO WILL BE ABLE TO GET HELP FROM NICOLO? 73 responses

Kaya mentions that they will be eating at a Marleyan’s restaurant and believes that said Marleyan (Nicolo) will be able to help Gabi and Falco figure out a way to return home to Marley. Nearly half of the fandom feel that they won’t be successful in getting any help from Nicolo, while only 13.7% think that he will be able to do something for them. 31.5% didn’t want to make a call either way.

REINER IS DETERMINED TO GET TO PARADIS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO SAVE GABI AND FALCO. DO YOU THINK THE WARRIORS WILL BE SUCCESSFUL IN RETRIEVING THEM? 72 responses

Over half of the fandom (65.3%) doesn’t have much faith in the Warriors to successfully retrieve Gabi and Falco. 20.8% feel the opposite, however, and think that their urgency is warranted. Will they get to Gabi and Falco in time?!

epic laina

WHICH QUESTION INTRODUCED IN THE EPISODE ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING ANSWERED? 73 responses

With every AoT episode, we get as many questions as we do answers. This episode is not an exception. Majority of the respondents (53.4%) are interested in getting answers for all of them (What did Yelana talk to Eren about, what is up with Mikasa’s headaches, what is Hange going to investigate and why is Shiganshina being evacuated?). Out of the all of those, the Yelena-Eren convo is the most popular one.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Gabi sucks so hard, she should be much more harshly punished for killing Sasha

The scenery was beautiful!! I'm hoping we get some action soon tho

MAPPA created some beautiful imagery this episode, like the scene with Falco and Gabi at the lake so was gorgeous! Also I wanna honk Reiner's tiddies

babies, my babies. 

Gabi sucks

Doesn't really stand out, but I much preferred the pacing of this episode to the last two. I better see some damn rumbling next ep, we're getting straight edged rn with that ice plane.  I absolutely FUCKED with seeing Louise do the little salute, brought back memories of simpler times.

Gabi is garbage

I loved the episode! Beautiful callbacks to so many previous set-up/storylines. It made me reminisce a bunch. I also hope for a bit of catharsis regarding Sasha's death by the hands of Gabi. Hopefully something will click and Gabi will realize that she may be wrong in her beliefs after realizing the person she killed (Sasha) is savior Kaya had described to her. While I don't hate Gabi, I also wouldn't mind a bit of karma going her way either. 

I think this is definitely one of my favorites so far. There's a lot of interesting new pieces of info, and I'm excited to see how this stuff resolves in the end.

I hate Gabi even more

I hate Gabi SO much

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 73 responses

Thank you again to everyone who participated!

[universe-n-3276]

Carrying the Moon

Epilogue

He shouldn’t have been there. He knew that if someone found him on the school’s rooftop, he would immediately be lectured by the headmaster, who obviously would call his parents, and he could already imagine the concerned look on his father’s face. Whenever he did something stupid, that man always had the same look painted on his face, and he couldn’t stand it anymore. But the boy couldn’t help it. He needed it. When he felt things overwhelming him (it often happened during the lunch break), he needed to feel the comfort that arose from watching his schoolmates from above, small as ants, move around frenetically.

On the roof of the school, alone, the noises and people around him were far away. The air was fresh, and the perspective changed completely. Three months earlier, during his last exams of the semester, he had begun to feel different. Everything he felt was amplified. He was full of energy and able to do anything. He had been awake, night after night, writing, planning, drawing. During the day, as he answered all the quiz, he felt confident, he knew everything, then the verdicts came. He had failed all his tests and in his mind, his teachers were trying to set him up, they wanted him to fail. He had fought furiously with his parents, and it was weird because he was used to talking with them, and not screaming his lungs out, but he was only a sixteen-year-old, and teenagers usually argue a lot with their parents, right?

Then during the Christmas break, he had started to spend whole days locked in his room, until he no longer wanted to go out or get out of bed, and after that moment there were only doctors, pills, and worried looks. He hated feeling that way, he hated not being able to control it. He felt as if an alien had moved into his brain and had taken control over it. He just wanted to feel like before, he wanted to go back to being the happy and carefree person he had always been. The boy heard the door open behind him and turned quickly, hoping he hadn’t been caught, but he immediately recognized a familiar face and raised a hand in greeting, allowing himself to smile a bit. He wanted to be left alone, but he liked Eva’s company. The girl had auburn, straight hair, very fair skin, covered with freckles, and blue eyes, identical to her father’s.

“Hero David Driesen-IJzermans, you’re so weird.” “I did nothing.” “School is supposed to help you develop your social skills, you know? And you spend your time here alone.” “I'm not feeling well.” Eva's lively gaze softened. He walked over to Hero and placed a hand on his back, moving it in a circular motion, to try to give him relief. “You should call your fathers.” “I called Charlotte. My dad is busy at work and my papa has always a stupid worried look on his face when something happens, and I don't wanna see it.” The girl nodded, and was silent for a few moments, staring down at the schoolyard full of their classmates enjoying their free-time. “Have you told Camille you're hiding here?” “No. I broke up with them.” “Why?” “We weren't right for each other.” Hero bit his lip. Breaking up with Camille had been difficult. He had thought about it for a long time, not knowing if it was the right decision if it was really what he wanted or that sense of impatience was just a side symptom of the disease. “You know, since our parents have these great stories about being with their soulmates since they were teenagers, I always feel under pressure. What if I won’t find that ineffable love?” “They always say when you know, you know, so don't worry too much about it.” The boy gave Eva a small smile as he retrieved his ringing phone from the pocket. He looked at the screen, picking up his backpack from the ground and put it on his shoulder, happy to finally get out of that school that made him feel caged. “I gotta go now, Charlotte is here. Bye Ev.” “Bye, weirdo.”

-

Hero didn’t remember the exact moment when he was told that Charlotte was his biological mother. It was as if he had always known, and it had never been strange. He had seen movies where the main characters discovered as teenagers that they had been adopted, and were traumatized by the idea that those who they had always believed their parents were strangers. He just couldn't put himself in those people's shoes, because he was convinced that a family went far beyond the DNA and that all the love and the affection he had received from his parents since childhood, were what would tie them together for the rest of their life. Charlotte had given him life, but only with his fathers, he felt safe. However, Hero knew, he was lucky to know who his mother was. To be able to talk to and see her every day. He knew his story, and he didn't have a thousand question marks floating in his head when he thought about who he was, or where he came from. He knew why Charlotte had decided to let him be adopted, and he knew, it wasn’t his fault. Since he had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder three months earlier, he understood her choice even better. Sometimes he had talked to Eva about the fact that they had both been adopted, but the affinities of their stories ended there. She didn't know anything about her biological parents, she didn't know her story and this made her suffer, even though she was grateful for the love, she had received from Jens and Lucas since she was a child. Eva had lived in a foster home until she was adopted by the two boys at the age of five, and because of this, she still had memories of when she felt abandoned and alone in the world. Hero had never felt the same way. He had always had two parents, an aunt, two uncles, four grandparents, and eventually, a sister. There was no space to feel alone. When he came out of school, he saw Charlotte waiting for him and smiled at her, walking in her direction. When they were in front of each other, she promptly squeezed him in a hug, and Hero immediately felt some of the tension vanish. He was sixteen and most of his friends shunned their family, trying to spend a lot of time away from home among their peers. But since he had his first episode, he felt comfortable only with his family. He knew, he could finally let his guard down because they would take care of everything. “Thanks for picking me up, Aunt Charlotte.” “Anytime, baby. Let's grab some hot chocolate, okay?” Hero nodded slowly, following Charlotte who had started walking. He had heard so many stories about her. When she was young, his aunt was the life of the party, ready to joke around. She hadn't changed much over the years. Charlotte was a funny person and always had a smile on her face. She lived with her girlfriend Ellie in a house by the river. They had no children, but Hero knew they were both very happy with their busy lives. When they sat facing each other in the cafeteria, waiting for their order, Charlotte looked Hero in the eye, and the boy suddenly felt exposed, as if there was no way could he have lied without the other noticing. “How are you feeling?” “I felt a bit overwhelmed at school, but now I'm fine.” “It was the same for me, but I pushed myself so hard all the time, just to fit in, that after some time it almost felt normal.” “Should I do that too?” Maybe Charlotte had the answer to all of his problems. Perhaps following her footsteps would lead him to regain his lost normality. So when Hero asked that question, his tone came out far more hopeful than he wanted. The woman looked at him sweetly and reached out to stroke his cheek. “No, baby. I know how it feels like you have no control over your mind or your body, but it’s not like that. It’s like learning to drive a new car: everything is new at first and you are scared but eventually, you’ll get used to it.” “So I'll be able to control this thing, eventually?” “Not really, but you will know how to deal with it, and also, all the people around you will know what to do to help you.” Hero sighed, looking down. He felt trapped in a tunnel with no exit. “It's frustrating.” “Yeah. But if you go to therapy and take your meds, it will be fine. You’ll know when something is coming. Everyone has symptoms. But don't worry, okay? We’re all here for you. We're gonna get through this. I promised.” “Thanks, Aunt Charlotte.” -

After spending a few hours with Charlotte to clear his mind, Hero had made a decision. He knew, he had to talk about it with his parents first, and this made him a little anxious, but he was sure that talking about it with his dad would help him more in deciding what to do. Hero was very attached to his dad, and unlike many teenagers, he felt free to talk to him about everything, without ever being judged. While he was waiting for the elevator, he closed his eyes and suddenly felt all the tiredness envelop his limbs. It was a weird sensation for the middle of the day. He had always been a boy who liked people, and yet the disease made social interactions physically exhausting. After half a day with his schoolmates and teachers, he just needed to rest. Going home and doing homework in those conditions was complicated. He couldn’t focus. The only thing he wanted to do was simply lie down to recover some of the energy lost during the day. Even before the elevator doors opened, Hero could hear the voices of his uncles. They were bickering as usual, and he couldn’t help but smile. Jens and Lucas have always been two of his favorite people in the world. Thanks to them he had learned to skate as a child, even though he often found himself in the midst of their deathly competitions to decide which one of them was more skilled on the board. “This damn stroller. Why you had to pick this monstrosity, uh?” “It was the safest one, Jens.” “It's bigger than our car and we barely fit in the elevator.” When the doors opened, they revealed the two men comically squeezed in a corner, to make

room for what was truly the largest stroller Hero had ever seen. Inside that gigantic thing, there was Lilith, a little girl of just six months, with thick raven hair and big chestnut eyes. “Hey, kid!” Jens was the first to notice Hero, and as soon as he managed to get out of the elevator, he gave him a high-five. Lucas took the stroller out and joined them. “Are you okay, baby? You look tired.” Lucas could spot the tiniest detail of one’s face, and Hero knew this very well. There were rare times in which he had managed to get away from his uncle’s gaze, and in fact, Eva had also stopped trying to hide anything from him. “And you should still be at school, right?” Hero still hated to talk about his illness, and it was wrong, especially because they were his uncles who had known him forever and knew exactly what he was going through. Lucas and Jens had been close to Charlotte when she was struggling. It should have been easier to say I felt a little overwhelmed today, so Charlotte picked me up and I just wanna rest even though it's only two in the afternoon. But he still couldn't, so he just shrugged, hoping the two would understand. Lucas stroked his cheek, giving him a look full of affection. “It's gonna be fine, Hero. And we are all here for you, okay?” “Yes, if you need anything, just call us, or come upstairs. Our door is always open for you.” Hero smiled, extremely grateful for the safety-net around him. He was surrounded by people who cared so much about him. They would never leave him alone, even in their darkest moments. He thanked his uncles and waved them goodbye, doing the same with little Lilith who had watched the whole scene from her huge stroller. - When he walked into his house, he immediately heard music coming from his papa's studio. Since Bowie, his sister, was born, Sander had decided to focus on her and work more from home. His sister was a little brat, and the fact that Sander spoiled her didn't make things better. The two spent hours playing with paint and soiling clean clothes and furniture with it. Hero had never been particularly talented with pencils and brushes, and perhaps for that reason, he believed in his heart that his papa preferred to spend more time with Bowie. He couldn't help but be a little jealous of their relationship, and of how Sander was able to show affection to the little girl. The boy knew, he was also deeply loved by his papa, but lately, there was something off between them. He knocked on the open door of his father's studio to get his attention, and the man looked up, giving his son a warm smile. “Hey, you're back early!” “Yeah, I didn't feel good and I asked Charlotte to pick me up.” “You could have asked me.” Hero shrugged, avoiding Sander's gaze. He hated to see the disappointment on his face, but his papa couldn't understand what he was going through. Charlotte, on the other hand, could. “How are you feeling now?” “Tired. I think I'm gonna get some rest.” “If you need anything, I'm right here.” Hero nodded, giving his father a small smile. As he made his way to his room, his sister darted past him laughing, without even saying hello and he frowned, thinking she was the strangest girl in the world. When he entered his room, he quickly walked over to the desk. He took off his backpack, placing it on the floor, and got rid of the sweatshirt he was wearing, already anticipating the moment when his body would finally touch the bed. He turned, but his expression changed immediately when he saw a huge stain of red paint standing out on his favorite blanket. Hero reconnected the dots. It wasn’t a hard task, after all. “BOWIE. I SWEAR TO GOD. I HATE YOU SO MUCH.” He closed his eyes and tried to regain control of himself, trying to breathe normally through his nose, while thinking he had to move quickly before the paint would run through the blanket, ruining the sheets and mattress. “What happened?” Sander appeared from the door with a frown on his face, followed by Bowie that was hiding behind his legs. Hero looked at them both, furiously, while a thousand thoughts were crowding his mind. He wanted to keep screaming all his anger, but he didn't. Instead, he started to roll up the blanket, being careful not to spill the paint around. “Your favorite child made a mess.” “Hero, what are you talking about? I don't have a favorite child. You two and your dad are my favorite people in the world.” The boy didn’t argue. He kept undoing his bed to the mattress, in silence. When he noticed that his father was doing nothing to leave him alone in his bedroom, he decided to speak up. “Where's dad? I wanna talk to him.” “He's still at work.” Hero was tired and angry, and in moments like that, it was like his emotions were exploding inside of him uncontrollably. He hated feeling that way as if everything he had inside was about to get out of his hand at any moment. Despite fighting against it for most of the time, sometimes he couldn’t help but let go. He looked at his papa's face and clenched his jaw when the other's eyes held his gaze with the same intensity as if they were a mirror of his own. The boy wanted to say everything he had been holding inside for months, all the thoughts that were hurting him. The things that kept him awake at night. Why don't you love me as much as you love Bowie? Why don't you ever want to spend time with me? It's because she is really your daughter and I’m just... He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked away, suddenly feeling too fragile to be able to withstand such a fight. Once again he had been betrayed by himself. “I don't get why he's always at work, while you are here.” “You're being rude, and you know I work here so I can be with you and your sister.” “Yeah, with my sister, of course. Whatever, I want dad now.” “Hero, you can also talk to me.” “I need to throw these things in the washer.” “Okay. Let me help you.” - Later that evening, he was hiding in his room, tucked under clean blankets, with the light on, because he wanted to avoid, in every way, turning his bad mood into something worse. Hero heard a knock on his door. When he turned to look at his visitor, he was delighted to see his dad's face. He sighed in relief and sat up against the headboard. The boy was happy to finally see him. He had needed his presence since he left for school that morning. “Hey, baby.” “Hi, dad.” “How's your day?” Robbe sat down on the bed, hugging him tightly, making that annoying lump in his throat reappear, and his eyes becoming instantly watery. They released their embrace and Hero shook his head, trying not to look his dad. Robbe sighed, placing his hands on the boy's shoulders. “Hero, what’s going on? Papa told me what happened.” “Snitch.” “He's worried about you. He loves you as much as I do, you know that.” “But he loves Bowie more because she’s your biological daughter.” “Baby, what are you talking about? You can't be serious!” Hero shrugged. Saying that sentence out loud was all he had been trying to do for weeks, but now it was like finding himself suddenly naked, in front of a crowd that was staring at him. He couldn't add anything else or speak up, because, yes, he was serious, but when he felt his dad's arms wrap him in a hug, he felt a little less stupid. “You can't even imagine what your papa did for you when we were young. He gave up everything for you. His relationship with me and with his sister. He was ready to drop out of uni, just to find a job and take care of you.” “I didn’t want to be rude to him. I was just pissed because Bowie made a mess in my room while he was supposed to watch her.” “He can get lost in his work sometimes.” “And I also don't know how to talk to him. With you, it's easier.” “We can call him and you can try to talk with both of us.” “Fine.” When Sander walked through the door, following Robbe and holding his hand, he had his usual worried expression painted on his face. He sat on Hero's bed, and Robbe did the same, on the other side of it. Hero, somehow, felt calmer, safer, there sat between his fathers. “Sorry about earlier, papa.” “It's okay, don't worry.” Like a suspicious cat that suddenly jumps in your lap, Hero approached his papa, leaning his back against the man’s chest, and Sander began to card his fingers through his son's hair, looping his waist with the other arm. Hero closed his eyes, relaxing. He realized that the distance he had felt between him and his papa was probably yet another trick of his mind and that for all that time, it would be enough for him to reach out, and bring down the walls that he had created. “I think I should drop out of school. I’m overwhelmed all the time and it’s really hard for me to focus. When I get home I’m too tired to do my homework. I feel like I'm failing at everything and it gives me anxiety.” There was a long moment of silence in which Robbe and Sander looked into each other's eyes, and Hero was sure that somehow, after years of marriage, the two had discovered a way to talk telepathically, because he had seen them do that so many times. “Your mental health is our priority.” “Definitely, and we understand that you need your time to adjust to your illness, to understand how to live your life with it.” “Thanks.” “But, maybe we can consider other options, you know?” “Like what?” "Homeschooling, for example." It wasn't a bad idea. That way he would adjust his schedule according to how he felt. “It's a good idea, but I don't know if I can start something new right now.” “It's okay, baby. We can take it day by day.” “And if it gets too much, we can also take it minute by minute.” Hero turned his face to look his papa in the eye, and smile gratefully at him. He liked the idea of not having to think about the future and being able to focus only on the present. It made him feel grounded and for the first time in weeks, his mind wasn't drifting. Robbe held Hero in his arm, kissing his forehead, while Sander hugged them both as they did when he was still a little kid. “My baby boy.” “Our baby boy, Robbe.” “Yes, our baby boy.” Maybe Hero would always be a fish out of water among his peers, because of his illness or because it was just what he had always been. Having been loved so deeply since he was born, had led him to be free of being himself because his parents had always pushed him to express his personality and not to apologize for who he was. Reality hit him very hard when he found out that people usually prefer predictability and labels. The world doesn't like unpredictable things. Hero loved to live his little utopia, in the arms of his parents, in which he was free to be himself, with his illness, his moment of euphoria, and his depression. He was free to express his ideas, to love immeasurably, to cry, to feel sad or happy. In his little utopia, he felt safe and knew that if he fell, someone would always be ready to catch him. At that moment Hero knew that, although he’d always carry the moon inside of him, thanks to the love surrounding him, eventually, the sun would shine again.

[previous]

[willowbirds]

⭐️The Bad Batch theory⭐️

So I want to make some quick predictions before the season final is out. I’m gonna go in depth and sorta become Mat Pat for a bit so bare with me.

This is all wild speculation so none of this should be taken to seriously.

First, what is the current situation? To put it simply, the batch is on a sinking city and there doesn’t seem to be a way back to their ship. When the episode starts there is a good chance that the Empire is leaving the planet and they probably think the batch is dead. So the episode will be the batch trying to find other parts of the tube system in order to get back to their ship.

“We’ll that doesn’t seem very exciting” I hear you say. Well since they are in the Kamanoin city, there is a good chance that the episode will give us a bit of backstory to the batch or more importantly more information about Omega.

For those who don’t know, the last two episodes of TBB are done by the same dude that did the Umbara arc in the Clone Wars. If you have not watched the Clone Wars you should know that the Umbara arc is very emotional and focuses heavily on the clones. I ended up watching it again with my brother and had to relive the sadness.

So knowing that, there is a very good chance that the final episode will really hit us in the feels. However, I don’t think it will be caused by a batch member dying. With the situation they are in the only ways I could really see a batch member dying is either because Crosshair decides to commit a murder, a giant water monster shows up and eats somebody, they drowned, or they blow something up and then drowned.

From watching the Umbara arc again and analyzing it (because I’m older now and I’m able to comprehend themes and stuff), what made the arc so sad and emotional was the ill treatment of the clones. Pong Krell treated them like droids and lesser beings, put them through so much trauma, so many clones died, and all of that never would have happened if Krell was just a DECENT PERSON!! All you wanted to do was punch Krell in the face and give the clones one big giant hug. Now in the batches situation, who lived in the city that they are currently in now? The Kamanoins.

The Kamanoins treat the clones like property. Like they have no free thinking will. Said by Lama Su himself, he sees Omega as his property.

Omega has mentioned to Echo that she doesn’t like being hooked up to the Kamanoins machines. She also looked so scared to go back to Nala Se’s lab. So my question is, WHAT DID THEY DO TO THIS POOR CHILD?! You can probably guess what the Bad Batches lives were like growing up on Kamino, but we don’t know what it was like for Omega. She probably had similar experiments done to her that the Bad Batch also had to go though. However the batch had each other and were able to comfort one another, while Omega had no one.

With Omega being a pure genetic clone who knows what else they did to her. Being stabbed with needles to test DNA on a daily basis, strange serums being injected into your body, and having to deal with all of that as a child, being seen as nothing but an experiment to be tested on. Most Star Wars kids become traumatized on their adventures. Omega wouldn’t need to since she already would be. There might be left over files that exist, AZI might tell the batch, or Omega just straight up tells them. Somehow we and the batch are going to find out what happened to Omega on Kamino.

I feel like the emotion for this episode won’t really be from the death of a character, but from seeing how cruel the Kamanoins can be and the trauma that Omega most likely had to endure.

BOOM!!!

How’s that for angst?!

Small side thing. I’m placing my bets here that we find out about what Omega’s mutation is. Is it that she’s a girl? Is it something else entirely? We’ll find out.

Also once the episode comes out I’ll probably leave my final thoughts on the season (I might be a bit biased though since I’m hyperfixated on it at the moment). I ain’t making promises though

So let’s find out what happens and get ready to feel emotion 🙃

- Willow Bird

[youseissi]

𝚂𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚂𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚍 현실판에

Chapter 3 - My Way

Word Count: 3725

Chapter 1 ✧ Chapter 2 ✧ Chapter 3 ✧ Chapter 4 ✧ Chapter 5 ✧ Chapter 6 ✧ Chapter 7 ✧ Chapter 8 ✧ TBC ✧ AO3 ✧ Masterlist

The last person Mingi expected to see while out "working" with Seonghwa was Jeong Yunho.

He kept telling himself that he was mistaken while running after him at the mall.

He continued to tell himself it had to be someone else, even as he held the dropped phone in his hand and tried typing the other’s birthday to unlock it. It worked, a quick look at all the logged in accounts with his name proving his identity.

He still had a hard time believing that it really was his old classmate, even as he went into the boy’s room to return the phone and saw the little mementos on the shelf.

Amongst them stood a tiny trophy with their old high school name engraved and fondness seeped through Mingi at the value the memory had to hold for the other to bring the little statuette all the way to his college dorm.

But even trying his best to vehemently deny it to himself, to forget it and ignore it, from the first second he laid eyes on him Mingi had already recognised Yunho looking back at him, frozen with wide eyes like a deer in the headlights right before bolting.

He knew immediately it was him even with his hair no longer a soft brown and the lower half of his face covered up by a mask.

The fact that his power was no longer working when holding him down was just another nail in the coffin. One of many lights that went on in his head in the few minutes he was around the other.

Because he couldn’t, not in a million years, not recognise his old school lifelong crush since kindergarten. Maybe a tad obsessive, but to his credit he never expected to ever see him again after leaving high school, so he had always allowed himself to enjoy his infatuation to the fullest expecting it to be just memories to be fond of later.

And he did have many memories revolving around the boy, however he wouldn’t be surprised if the other did not even know he existed anymore.

Although he always had it bad, writing Yunho’s name surrounded by hearts in his notebook all class long type of bad, he didn’t approach Yunho more than a few unintentional times before.

But you couldn’t blame him neither for liking Yunho, a lot , nor for not interacting with him at all.

Because Yunho in a few hours through the course of a week gave him more attention than any one else his age did for the next decade. It was quite impossible for a kid that young, still barely understanding he was invisible and in a constant state of being ignored, to not imprint into the first person that noticed him.

And even as Yunho freaked out and turned away from him he didn’t hold it against his temporary best friend. Because it wasn’t Yunho’s fault that only him saw Mingi, it was Mingi’s fault that no one else did. He didn’t get why no one did yet at that age, but he understood that much.

So he kept his distance from then on, telling himself it would be bad of him to bother the other. The next year they were in separate classes and for the next couple of his young kid years he went back to sitting alone and getting the teachers in trouble for not finding him, scolding himself whenever he felt like going after Yunho’s fleeting friendship.

For a crybaby like him he was pretty proud of himself for managing to stay away.

The older they got he expected to one day just not see Yunho there anymore, but alas they were in a small town. They always moved on to the same school, had quite a few classes together, but it soon seemed Yunho had completely forgot him.

Mingi figured that much when they would sometimes bump into each other in the hallways and the other just seemed completely oblivious, both of who he was and the fact that he was the only one seeing him.

As far as Yunho was concerned he was helping any random kid up from the floor or trying to get past through one more person in the crowd, nothing special about it.

And that summed up most of all their interactions up till that moment. Bumping around school, picking up a dropped pencil, stopping him from grabbing an apple from someone else’s tray at lunch.

Just simple things like that, that Yunho probably never took notice of. Mingi was always invisible to him even though he ironically was the only person that he could actually see him.

Logically, he should’ve gotten over his lovestruck mentality at some point after noticing that, specially since he didn’t want to repeat that traumatic first episode.

He had no plans to ever interact with Yunho again, nonetheless he couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

He knew his class schedules, enjoying the classes they had together. He knew the sports he participated on and the friends he hang around with, where they would all go hang out after school and the video games he was always playing and just an overwhelming amount of gossip he would overhear, just cataloging it in his brain.

He once got into a discord server to play some games with their class when he heard they were gonna play one of Yunho’s favorites, but quickly lost his nerve, knowing that if they escalated to meeting in person he still didn’t control his power enough.

He was fine just observing, just seeing the other having a good time was enough to warm his heart. God forbid he tried to get himself involved and ruined it for him.

His crush was borderline stalkerish, but he tried his best to keep himself in check, to be conscious of boundaries, something which he never had much sense for considering his lack of social experience up till that point.

He kept that in mind, but it was never really a problem because in the end Yunho was the only person in the world that was a challenge for him to actually stalk if he wanted to.

Most people around he got to know their true colors soon enough as they often wouldn’t hide it away from him. Since to be fair they usually didn’t know he was there to see their mask fall to begin with.

But Yunho was a little box of surprises keeping his interest on him, kind and funny and making Mingi let out lovestruck sighs all day, his chest swelling with affection at the mere thought of the guy.

Maybe it was because he was lonely. He didn’t gather any real friendships during all those years, not until he finally started getting help with his problematic power and got exposed to others like him. Even then, when he first had a glimpse of what being normal was, it still didn’t feel like enough as he had to wake up and go to school alone every boring day.

It hurt seeing everyone around in groups like that fooling around and laughing at each other’s banter loudly. So maybe daydreaming about someone that knew he was there and that had even enjoyed his company once upon a time was a way of coping with it.

And he knew it was silly, but to his defence he didn’t plan on ever seeing Yunho again once they graduated. His infatuation was merely a good feeling that he just intended to tuck away and only remember it as a far away memory that shined through darker times, times he never wanted to properly come back to dissect nor properly deal with.

He embraced it like a pastime, a phase that every teenager went through, maybe not healthy, but who would’ve thought they would meet again like this.

Now he needed to push his old perception of the other away and hide his identity at all costs. He didn’t want to be seen as the bad guy, not by him.

☾

“Where were you?”

Mingi almost jumped out of his skin at the voice in the darkness. With the sound of a click an old lamp lighted up, the yellowish glow barely enough to light up Seonghwa’s figure sitting in an antique armchair besides it. The villain sat there turned directly towards the window Mingi had just sneak in through, eyeing the younger with unimpressed eyes.

“Nowhere, just taking care of some unfinished business.” He couldn’t for the life of him think up of an actual excuse.

“In the middle of the fight? Pray tell what type of business was so important that you left me alone at the first real opposition we’ve ever got?” The way that Seonghwa enunciated his words, without any hint of anger, but with a glint of curiosity as if he was just playing catching up with an old friend made Mingi feel like he was in the position of a child about to be scolded by his parents, telling him it would be okay if he just told the truth, but with contradicting undertones.

That just made thinking of an excuse even harder. “Hm…”

“Actually now that I’m thinking about it, we still haven’t talked about the other day. You know that one where both of our powers failed to match against two harmless civilians?” Seonghwa continued with his lighthearted tone, feigning the sudden remembrance as if he hadn’t been sitting there planning his words for god knows how long till Mingi arrived. “I wonder if those two guys had any relation to the guy that appeared today?”

“Maybe. I mean he wasn’t affected by you, so could be the guy that tricked you that time. You know that short guy, must have a power or something.” he answered fidgeting.

“I was thinking so too, after all my power doesn’t work well on other powerful people. That doesn’t quiet explain why you were visible, Mingi-ah.” Seonghwa said with a final soft voice. “I know you’ve been avoiding me, it’s obvious you’re hiding something. The guy you had pinned down was the one that was radiating power I’m sure you felt it too.”

Mingi sat down against the window pane knowing there was no escape.

“Are you perhaps trying to protect him from me? Is it someone you know?” The villain mused out loud, but was only met with silence. “Mingi, we’ve been together for a while now. You know me, I understand I’m not completely in the right here. I’m even impressed someone stepped up against me like that, with no powers and all. I plan to entertain his efforts, really. I mean no real harm, if anything it’s amusing.”

Mingi knew Seonghwa for quite a long time, both following Eden’s teachings together for years then. Both their case files ending piled up on their now employer’s desk years ago as problem children, when in truth the man would handpick and teach powerful children how to control their gifts.

That brought them together and that sprouted their current situation, living together on a lavish old house and with a mission to accomplish, each of the two with their own approach to it, Seonghwa seeming to be way more aggressive.

But indeed the older was a very reasonable man. Their objective really had nothing to do with the villain’s preachings, preachings that Seonghwa himself did not care that much to uphold himself.

Those were merely a big show to avert everyone’s eyes from their real goal and so they had no reason to see their new enemy as real opposition. As far as distractions go a cool heroic fight was even better.

That being said they still could pose a threat, most of their plans were based on the fact that Mingi was invisible which for them he was not at all anymore.

The minute Seonghwa saw the potential in them to get in their way he would not hold back and while Yunho’s power could mentally protect him it did nothing of real physical value in that sense.

He wasn’t willing to risk it no matter how much he trusted his old friend.

“You gotta give me something, if you really wanna protect him.” Seonghwa said in a low voice, now dropping the act and just seeming tired.

“The shorter guy, I can give you his name.” Mingi answered finally after thinking for a moment, his tone low and serious. “The other one is mine, don’t touch him.”

The tall one could look pretty intimidating when he wanted to be, exerting this confidence as he spoke, an empty threat hanging unsaid.

Not that it affected Seonghwa in any way, but it was enough to send the message.

The older leaned back loosening up onto his armchair with a defeated sight. "We could help him about his power, you know."

"I doubt he would want help from us." Mingi replied flatly, staring back at him coldly.

Seonghwa huffed rolling his eyes before closing them and resting his head back. "I got it, as long as it's absolutely necessary I'll leave your friend alone." He said finally sounding tired, almost pained. "Go and bring me an ice pack at least, that shorty hits hard and I feel a bump forming already."

At that Mingi dropped the temperament and scrambled hurriedly towards the kitchen. The other was right, it was the least he could do, they were partners and he was missing when he should have been there to help after all.

Guilt panged at his heartstrings, however making himself useful and nursing Seonghwa’s injuries soothed him, seeing for himself that it wasn't that serious and he could be of help.

☾ ⇀ ✩

The whole ‘righteous villain punishing the evil in society’ was merely an act of self-indulgence. Seonghwa was self aware enough to know that, to know that there was no real noble purpose behind it. They just needed a distraction and he wasn’t the first one with super powers to terrorize the city.

There was already a thief around who had seemed to have won the public with his charity-driven purpose. This unknown boy, a shorty with silver hair and a loudmouth, had been there for a long while already, his name famous online with all the speculation of how he did the flashy stunts he was known for.

Everybody with a phone saw the posts about how his heists always ended up traced to unbelievable amounts of money suddenly in the hands of the needy and that made for an impasse on the government’s part to bring out the big guns against him, showing the new villains exactly how to thread that thin line themselves.

And so Seonghwa took the opportunity to spin a similar narrative.

In all honesty though, if Seonghwa put any real thought into his personal sense of justice he knew he was undeniably in the wrong, he just wanted a chance to really use his powers to its full potential.

His power was like a muscle that needed to be stretched and he for the first time had the space to do just that for real.

Although it may seem strange, this whole situation where he could snap out orders and punishments and have it be perceived as a public service now felt empowering, almost cathartic, in contrast to all the times before where he had uncontrollably let his tongue loose in fits of rage, yelled out things he deeply regretted and was met, rightfully, with fear and disgust.

He was allowing himself the pleasure of lashing out for the first time in his life, a freeing high he could easily get lost into. Even so he was not foolish enough to forget his priorities nor let the bad side of him take over.

He didn’t felt any particular sympathy for the criminals he went after, having them confess all their sins before him made it easy to free his conscience of any guilt.

All those other innocent people that continued to fall prey to his power however were victims caught in the crossfire and the horrified expression in their wide eyes when they saw him served as a reminder that nothing good could ever come out of his abilities.

Growing up with that power was… terrifying to say the least. Having the power to play God as a child was overwhelming. A kid’s need for rules and guidance to be enforced beyond their own selfish wishes was apparent when everyone would become lifeless puppets at his command.

The way he used to so easily affect the world around him could only be described as emptying or desolating as no one could talk to him without temporary losing their free will.

Not only he had no control of when his powers were activated, he also had to learn from an early age to choose his words carefully as if each and everyone of them were weapons.

The effects of his power dragged his mental state to a downwards spiral as he grew up, at some point it became too much and he was exhausted of tiptoeing around it. He just stopped trying talking, stopped trying to interact and gave in to his own self deprecating urges to isolate himself.

He was declared mute, despite nothing being wrong with his vocal chords, and that went on for a few years until his case was picked up by Eden.

Eden was the one that took him in when he was lost, shaping his life to the moment it was now and he could never regret anything he did in his name, not bothered to be a supervillain if it helped him out.

Not that his old teacher was too happy with his methods, but as long as they were bringing results to their cause it was enough.

✩

It didn’t take long for Seonghwa to go check out his new prey. Kim Hongjoong was the name of the name of the man that had been showing up to fight him lately.

It had already been a few encounters and the other was each time getting bolder, more comfortable with dropping the former defensive act and just coming at him full force.

He could see Mingi, yet he kept ignoring the invisible man and coming for Seonghwa directly and it was almost endearing to see him rushing in every time to keep the villain company while he played with his powers and stalled the media’s attention.

Not that keeping him company was Hongjoong’s intention, but Seonghwa would rather look at it this way, appreciating the change in routine. He prayed the other would keep obnoxiously focusing on him and not make things actually difficult.

He entered an old music store, the vintage atmosphere greeting him warmly as the boy by the counter looked up from the scribbles in his notebook with surprised eyes. The place was completely empty as Seonghwa made his way to his target, fishing out a piece of paper from his coat’s pocket as he moved.

“May I help you?” The attendant asked, his mouth slightly ajar.

“Yes, if you could please help me find these?” He said handing the paper, a short list of titles there.

“Ah sure, follow me.” The other answered hurriedly leaving his spot and guiding him deeper into the store.

So this was Hongjoong, he thought analysing the shorter boy walking in front of him. Fashionable clothes, striking hair and an earful of piercings, pretty much what he had expected. The older felt oddly satisfied at the bruise mark on his shoulder peeking out from the border of his collar, remembering exactly which one of his hits that had caused that.

“Most of those are around this section, you have good taste.” The other said absentmindedly as he picked up a little stool to stand on. Seonghwa could probably reach the highest shelf by himself with little effort, but let the other do his job without interfering.

“Do you go to college around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. I’m pretty sure I’d remember a face like yours.” He said, passing down the items as he found them.

It felt odd meeting the other without a mask but he hadn’t thought much of it, the last comment catching him unexpected.

“I guess you could say I’m new, I transferred this semester.” He answered, entertaining the small talk.

The simplicity of the situation was an odd change of pace, seeing the other peacefully working instead of the usual worked up Hongjoong made him almost miss it. Almost, as he didn’t really fancy constantly dodging punches or electric zaps.

“I see, what do you study?” He hummed along, stepping down the stool to lead them back to the front, towards the register.

“Third year of medicine already.” Seonghwa answer, losing interest as their encounter was about to end.

“A doctor then? What type do you want to be?” He asked as he swiped the albums through the barcode reader.

“A neurologist, although i have some time to rethink that still.” Seonghwa mumbled not found of the question, still questioning it himself.

“Ah smart, handsome and good taste in music, you have it all don’t you. Your total is...” Hongjoong continued on to take his payment and explain they refund policy, but his initial comment peaked Seonghwa interest back again.

The hero handed him the cd pile with the paper he had first received on top, a new line written on it. A phone number. The villain didn’t miss the confident wink Hongjoong shot him nor his mischievous smile, a light rosy tone to his cheeks contradicting his cool demeanor.

There it was, the trademark fire he feels from the other when they fight. Toned down by a hundred and way more gentle, but still equally recognisable in his eyes almost daring him.

“Call me if you need anything, I can teach you where all the good parties are at.” Hongjoong said as he waved a goodbye to the parting man.

Seonghwa didn’t particularly plan to continue seeing Hongjoong outside of their playdates, as the villain had so fondly named their recurring conflicts, but he thought of giving the hero the time of day seeing how cute he looked trying to appeal to him.

[ask-ericson-kids]

My status predictions for episode 4 & achievement theories (Clem won't die theory)

Also let me just say I doubt anyone actually died during the explosion besides the raiders and maybe Minerva??

Violet: (determinant) If Louis was saved, Violet is shown to despise Clementine for betraying her and will side with Minnie. Going as far as to attack you in the cell to prevent you from escaping. I believe if AJ was told to shoot Lilly, and depending on what you say to him after shooting her in EP 4, he might kill Violet if she tries to fight Clem again, finding that she's a threat and it is justified to shoot her. This would indeed be shocking. On the other hand if you saved Violet, I think she's relatively safe but I may be wrong. Maybe she can determinantly save either AJ or Clem by an act of heroism and sacrificing herself in the process.

Louis: (determinant) If Louis was saved, I also think he will relatively be okay. If Louis was kidnapped, shockingly, his tongue is cut out and he is absolutely traumatized, needing the help of Aasim to escape the boat. There has been theorizing of Louis killing himself but it seems ridiculous and unlikely to me. He will be depressed but I doubt he would ever do such a thing. Especially if you romanced him but did not save him. All I can think of is that he might sacrifice himself to save Clem or AJ's life maybe?? I'm not sure what to think of Louis' status. Also there's a small chance he could die from his serious injury to the tougne (maybe blood loss or chocking? But I doubt this will happen)

Clementine: (determinant/alive mostly) Okay so Clementine's fate has been foreshadowed and hinted at ALL season which is unsettling. From being hinted at to drown, to get bitten, to be killed, going missing etc. Even Skybound posted pictures of Clem's hat and a clementine covered in blood. However, I think it's all misleading and trying to trick us to think Clem will get bitten like Lee. I think this is very unlikely and kindaaa lazy. This is Clem and AJ's story, not Clementine and Lee's all over again. I do believe Clementine will be okay! However I do think there is one ending where she might die. I don't know what way exactly but I'm going to assume maybe a major injury? But I genuinely doubt this. I'm optimistic about her making it alive.

AJ: (determinant/mostly alive) Here's a twist, instead of Clementine getting bitten, it's AJ. AJ is always telling Clem his status (ex. "no bites!") Except this time, AJ is bitten, probably by a walker from the herd just outside the ship. And the player must decide what to do in the situation. I still have doubts about anyone getting bit this season though... There's been mentions of the kids being very careful and skilled at survival. To live all these years to them getting bit randomly by a walker is kind of a lame way to go. However, it can still be a possibility. NO ONE so far has died from a bite on screen (Abel being closest) so it will probably happen to at least someone. Another outcome, while extreme, Clementine might have to put down AJ of some sort or resort to leaving with him and departing from the school because it is too dangerous to have him around. In general though, I think AJ will be okay depending on how you raised him.

Tenn: (No fucking idea; but probably alive) Oof I don't know about this one. There has been foreshadowing of Tenn dying many times. He also seems to have some kind of interest in walkers. Will Tenn get bitten? Get shot? He was extremely close to getting shot in episode 3, showing the writers aren't scared of killing off a child. But in the end I really don't know. Will Minerva try and hurt him? Will he have to put Minerva down maybe? I just hope this sweet little boy is okay by the end of this. AJ wants him to learn how to be safe (ep 3) and he would certainly be devasted if something were to happen to him because he is his *second best real friend.

Lilly: (determinant/unknown) If Lilly is spared, I believe she will continue to try and hurt the kids again, potentially killing a major character perhaps? And I think there MIGHT be a chance at a redemption arc. But think about it, what will happen to Lilly when it's over? She's certainly not coming to the school to live with us and the boat is fucked so where the fuck is she gonna go? Thankfully it's been confirmed that once characters are saved from determinant death, they will not die like 20 minutes later (COUGH nick COUGH sarah COUGH) However, I think we will have the choice to kill Lilly ourselves this time IF the player choses to. If not, I guess she could esvape and find a way back to Delta? I don't know.

James: (Alive/Unknown) If Lilly is killed, James is visibly upset that Clementine told AJ to shoot her. I think depending on how you treated James during the barn scene, he will still think you're a good person and help you get the kids out and safe, and will stay at the school with the remaining kids. BUT, if you lied about thinking there's more to walkers, I have a feeling this could backfire somehow and AJ could potentially reveal this to James, deeply upsetting him and feeling used. If you didn't respect him beforehand, James dislikes you, is untrusting of you and he will decide to leave the group at the end and live on his own, back into the forest. Leaving him at an unknown status.

Minerva: (Dead) I think Minerva is unfortunately long gone. She's brainwashed and unable to side with the kids anymore. This leads to her trying to stop them yet again and someone decides to attack her fatally (Maybe AJ, Tenn, Violet (determinant) or Clementine herself), or maybe she drowns and dies during the explosion but I feel like that would leave her story unresolved. There's maybe a small chance she can have a change of heart however and go back to the school but I doubt it.

Other kids [Omar, Aasim, Ruby, Willy, Rosie]: (Alive) Someones gotta survive this season and i think these kids are going to be fine. They're minor/supporting characters and while I love all these kids, their deaths would probably not be that impactful as the mains. And besides, with the amount of characters hinted at to die, this seems like wayy too many dead characters if they were gonna die too. Someone's gotta head back to the school at the end.

------------------------- And now achievement theories!! (potential spoilers)

Let me just say many of the previous achievements are misleading and may sound worse then they actually are so don't freak out too much!

Red Water: I theorize this achievement is hinting at the aftermath of the explosion. Having the water be filled with the corpses of the raiders and walkers. Again, I highly doubt anyone else other than the minor raiders will die.

Final Lesson: Perhaps Clementine teaches AJ an important lesson which will become important for act 3? Maybe she will discuss with AJ the choice she made to either kill or spare Lilly and help him understand certain things.

Savior: "You're our savior Clem!" Clementine is the savior of the kids, getting them all (hopefully) back home and safe where they live in peace finally. Although this could hint at something darker.. Perhaps Clementine is their savior, but will she have to die for them or sacrifice someone else to save them? (Haha this achievement just makes me think of Jesus Christ for some reason)

Survivor/Home at Last: So these achievements are a reason that greatly reinforces the theory that Clementine will not die and in fact make it home at last after the horrors of the Delta. However, I could be wrong but I genuinely think Clem is going to be okay.

OKAY THESE ONES... I hope people keep in mind achievements usually do not contain any major spoilers! They're mostly interactions with the world around so I think people should be more optimistic.

Goodbye: So many think this signifies Clementines death but I saw hell no! I actually think this hints at Minerva's fate! Perhaps Clementine, AJ, Tenn, Violet/Louis will attempt to convert Minerva to return to the school and stop her from being involved with the Delta. Or maybe she gets bit on the neck and nothing can be done so Minerva is left behind but first they say their goodbyes. Specifically Tenn Violet and Louis. The goodbye could be directed at anyone or anything really. It's probably tricking us into thinking something terrible is going to happen when it's actually something minor.

Came full circle: I feel like this might be an important bonding moment between Clementine and AJ. It could also signify a good ending? But like I said, I say it's mostly just an interaction I think.

Promise: I believe this signifies promising your love interest or best friend (Louis or Violet) that you will never leave them and stay at the school with them by their side with AJ. Or, this could be directed at AJ as well but I think he already knows Clementine would never leave him.

Lost and Found: Okay so this one is a bit unsettling I'll admit. We see Clem's lost hat on the screen preview of episode 4 near some water and we see Clem's hat in this very achievement but I think we're reading too much into it. This may simply be an occasion where Clem loses her hat and finds it later on (it's just worded weirdly to scare us). Or maybe AJ finds it or you happen to play as AJ? (I doubt it though.) OR this may occur during a flashback! Such as an instance where we meet Lee again and he finds our hat like how he did in episode 2 of s1. Whatever this achievement means, I doubt its anything major.

So that's all. I've been pretty optimistic about these theories because I just prefer thinking on the positive of things concerning the season finale. Either way I think it will be great and I'm excited! If you'd like to add on with your own theories go ahead!

[askthedespairkids]

3rd Year Anniversary Bonus 79-C Report Cards

//I do have more stuff planned for this year’s anniversary but it’s gonna take more time to finish so I figured I would make this post in place just for fun. It’s nice to have these sort of things, I think since there are just so many OCs on the blog

//It will get updated as new OCs join or important information is uncovered.

Amaterasu Hokama - Ultimate Thief

Gender: Female

Height: 5′ 11″

Birthday: April 20th

Likes: Shiny Things

Dislikes: Security Guards

Current Status: Alive

Amaterasu’s family was evicted from their home when she was young, her parents “homeschooling” her in order for her to avoid bullying. When her family were struggling for food, she would steal from stores in order for them to keep surviving. As she grew up, she found her love for the thrill of a heist growing. She would go on larger heists in rich homes and museums, but rather than keeping anything for herself, she would return it the next day. Like it was a simple game for her. Eventually, word got out about a girl that could potentially steal from anywhere she wanted to. An underground team of thieves then decided to recruit her in order to get help for their heists. At first she helped out to get some money for her family, but once they had enough money to get a home and had a stable income, Amaterasu reported all of the people in that team to the authorities. She was also sent to a juvenile center but managed to escape after a week. Though she is rarely ever seen, there are always reports of “an girl that acts like a wolf wandering around the city”.

Doi Kurohiko - Ultimate Romance Expert

Gender: Male

Height: 5′10″

Birthday: November 14th

Likes: Roses

Dislikes: Creepy People

Current Status: Alive

With a handsome face, and a talent like his, Doi is often mistaken as a player at first glance, however his actual personality is the complete opposite. He has awful luck when talking to women, which he calls “his heart’s curse��� which causes unfortunate events to happen such as falling down stairs, ripping his pants, and many other occurrences. Despite his failures, he tries to remain optimistic even if he isn’t the most strong willed. His talent isn’t for show either- if you want to fix your relationship, Doi is the one to ask. With a tendency to go off on rants when nervous and a weakness for women, Doi is the walking Ultimate Contradiction.

Junpei Yokozawa - Ultimate Blogger

Gender: Male

Height: 5′2″

Birthday: April 16th

Likes: Co-op Games

Dislikes: Horror Movies

Current Status: Alive

The blogger of several semi-popular blogs that cover a variety of topics such as fandoms, political views, and even gossip, Junpei Yokozawa may be a blogger, but he’s a damn good one. Overshadowed by the rest of family having flashy talents, he’s never seen himself as being worth much in the world of Ultimates. However, his ability to manipulate internet culture is second-to-none despite his lack of presence in real life.

Karma Graves - Ultimate Secret Agent

Gender: Was thought to be intersex by certain staff, and female by peers and other staff. It has come to attention that Karma Graves is a parasitic twin with both male and female organs. Karma Graves says they identify simply as "Karma", and used they/them pronouns. 

Height: 5'3"

Birthday: January 18th

Likes: Ukulele

Dislikes: The dark

Current Status: Alive

For the first 13 years of their life, Karma Graves was kept locked in a small basement by their biological father and were heavily abused. This caused some damage to their overall mental health and stability. Their only source of knowledge on the outside world was through movies from the 90s, resulting in Karma preferring to dress as colourful as possible, use the occasional 90's slang, and develop nostalgia for a generation they were never a part of. Karma was eventually rescued by a secret, organized agency which took them under their wing and trained them as one of their own. Though not being in training for very long, they showed natural skill and talent. They trained at the Canadian branch, but had short training sessions in Japan. The agency wasn't always the most moralistic and good, yet Karma dedicated their life to it. Karma had been invited to Hope's Peak Academy, but their superiors said they wold not be attending. This changed and Karma was sent to Hope's Peak after helping a prisoner of the agency, who they allegedly had a relationship with, escape.  The prisoner was killed on sight. Karma tends to have violent tendencies and manic episodes, but their loyalty and love for their friends is overpowering.

Kobo Okanaya - Ultimate Tour Guide

Gender: Male

Height: 6′2″

Birthday: June 14th

Likes: Boxing

Dislikes: Fish

Other Affiliations: Starlight Tour Company

Current Status: Alive

Kobo became a tour guide while he was growing up in a deprived area of a port town. He was saved by the manager of a tour guide company during a street fight and to return the favour, he learned the craft of being a tour guide. At first, his rough personality made it hard for him to interact with tourists though over time, through teaching he adapted a “Work Personality” which utilises his non-rough appearance, even changing his mannerisms to seem like a more appealing tour guide. His knowledge of Japan’s streets and landmarks were noticed by Hope’s Peak after their scout had caught wind of a teen tour guide being able to put others to shame. Though despite his work personality, Kobo is always ready to get into a fight.

Maemi Watanabe - Ultimate Harem Mangaka

Gender: Female

Height: 5′6″

Birthday: July 8th

Likes: Cherry Blossoms

Dislikes: Being called a Fujoshi

Other Affiliations: HeartBeat Publishing

Current Status: Alive

Calm and level-headed, Maemi does not seem like the type to produce such critically acclaimed harem series. Always wishing to be a writer, but being unable to write long stories with one single couple, Maemi began writing harem manga as a way to let her creative muse run wild. She is the leader type and has a strong attitude which helps her keep control of situations where people may succumb to stress which helped her during ...-Missing Data-...She can also feel out of place in her class since she feels her backstory is not as tragic as the other members of her class. Her only true struggle being her bad luck with men. Suppressing tropes, and wishing to make harem manga more beloved by the public, her headstrong attitude is admired by all mangaka across all genres.

Mami Asano - Ultimate Living Doll

Gender: Female

Height: 5′6″

Birthday May 6th

Likes: Bugs

Dislikes: Chaos

Current Status: Alive

Mami Asano was a regular child, albeit living in luxury, up until the age of 6. It was then that her parents began having her undergo multitudes of surgeries done by underground doctors who would be willing to operate such procedures that would be traumatizing and illegal to do to a child. Mami's surgeries continued until her parents had felt she reached the epitome of artificial beauty: a living doll. Mami was trained to be obedient, submissive, and docile - never questioning her parents or making a decision for herself. She was homeschooled and taught things such as classical literature and music, dance, a number of instruments, high class manners, and other things. She is graceful and elegant. Mami was given severe restrictions on what she could eat, say, and do. She attended frequent public and private events - appearing at art shows or attending formal dances and galas. If she wasn't participating in the event like a regular attendant, she was on display either sitting or standing in a glass case perfectly still, or behind a rope in a large faux "dollhouse", going about and interacting with the environment while others watched, and even gave commands so as to "play" with her. Mami was invited to Hope's Peak and was reluctantly given permission to attend by her parents who believed that her attendance was one of the highest honours

Rina Kirishima - Ultimate Taxidermist 

Gender: Female 

Height: 5′1″ 

Birthday: August 1st 

Likes: All kinds of tea 

Dislikes: Her loved ones in distress 

Current Status: Alive

Introduced to the craft of taxidermy by her grandmother, Rina demonstrated a real talent for it. Unfortunately, her talent and meek demeanour caused her to be bullied in middle school and this shattered her self-worth. Believing she was unworthy to be called by her real name, Rina began referring to herself with the acronym “RAM”, standing for “Rina’s Another Mistake” - “Another Mistake” being the nickname given to her by her bullies. With the help of Sakura Oogami at Hope’s Peak Academy, Rina was finally able to grow a love for herself. Not nearly as shy as she was, Rina consistently does her best to spread kindness to everyone she meets. Her loving heart is always open, and she’s not afraid to give out hugs and the occasional nose kiss. She shows a strong will when confronted with a problem, but will try to solve it with as much thoughtfulness as possible. Hardly will she get extremely angry, but a surefire way to make her mad is to threaten the wellbeing of her loved ones. She also takes her pinky-promises rather seriously, and would appreciate them not be broken.

Ryuu Nagata - Ultimate Lucky Student

Gender: Male

Height: 5′8″

Birthday: February 14th

Likes: Katsudon

Dislikes: Grapes

Current Status: Alive

The twin of Sora Nagata and the 79th class’ Ultimate Lucky student. Unlike other lucky students, Ryuu’s luck doesn’t affect him, but rather the people around him. The earliest sign of this was after he was born, his parents had won the lottery which took place the same week, though at the time they had no idea Ryuu was responsible. Originally a meek and shy boy, Ryuu has grown to become the leader of Future Foundation’s 2nd base, albeit not being confident in his abilities as the leader quite yet. 

Sadao Irunami - Ultimate Hypnotist

Gender: Male

Height: 5′6″

Birthday: May 23rd

Likes: Pendulums

Dislikes: Blackouts

Other Affiliations: The Irunami Circus

Current Status: Resurrected

A playful prankster who was a former member of a travelling circus, Sadao learned all he knew from the ringmaster of the circus, his grandfather. He has an impulsive and child-like nature which many can find troublesome though he manages to have his moments of showing off his calculating and selfless side when he wishes to help his friends. When he was young, he no longer wished to be part of the circus and he ran away and became a street performer in Tokyo until Hope’s Peak Academy took notice and asked him to join 79-C.

Saori Kibe - Ultimate Paranormal Investigator

Gender: Female

Height: 5′ 11″

Birthday: June 13

Likes: Conspiracies, the paranormal, and scene aesthetic

Dislikes: Non-believers

Current Status: Alive

Saori genuinely believes she was abducted by aliens and tested on as a toddler. Whether or not this actually happened is unknown. She believes this is why she’s able to interact with the paranormal how she does - and has since been seeking out all the paranormal things she can, helping people with their paranormal problems along the way. She would even travel to different countries and continents. Saori was let into Hope’s Peak as the Ultimate Paranormal Investigator. Saori is a trans girl preferring she/her pronouns, despite her school records saying her dead name and pronouns.

Sly ??? - Ultimate Assassin

Gender: Male

Height: 6’1”

Birthday: July 9th

Likes: Pancakes, Training, Naps

Dislikes: People questioning his abilities

Other Affiliations: ??? Assassin Agency

Current Status: Alive

Having lost both his father and mother, Sly has become the leader of the worlds biggest assassin agency at the age of 18. He has been killing since the young age of 4, making him an extremely experienced fighter. After losing his mother he threw himself into the family business quickly becoming one the top assassins in the business. He wears her dog tag around his neck at all times, which was given to him as a gift from his childhood friend and partner Maki Harukawa. It’s said that his eyes turn from their natural grey to a deep black when filled with rage earning him the name “The Demon Killer” across the Underworld.

Tomoe Hachi - Ultimate Illustionist

Gender: ??? (Goes by They/Them pronouns) 

Height: 5’8” 

Birthday: September 1st 

Likes: Konpeito 

Dislikes: Coffee 

Current Status: Alive 

Tomoe keeps their personal life a mystery. However, they have told people that they’ve simply practiced magic tricks and illusions since they were 4, and may have forgone eating or sleeping for it. They like to keep their mask and magician attire on to hide their physical appearance, except for their hair, which is black, curly and messy. They say that the mysterious aura helps them with their illusions.

Toson Shinko - Ultimate Horror Movie Director

Gender: Male

Height: 6′0″

Birthday: August 30th

Likes: Suspense

Dislikes: Unnecessary Gore

Other Affiliations: Shinko Movie Productions

Current Status: Deceased (As of The Big Bang Arc)

An award winning and genre changing director with a surplus of modern classics, Toson is the most influential director of modern times, even though his reasoning for becoming a director was not in any way inspirational. His father, Shouji Shinko, was a failed horror movie director, and not wishing to be associated with his failures, Toson decided he would create his own horror movies and make a name for himself, separate from his father. Arrogant about his achievements, Toson can be off-putting to people who aren’t used to his blunt words and rude mannerisms, however deep down he can’t stand being around conventionally attractive people as he falls in love easily, nor can he sit by when his friends are hurting.

Tsukiko Ishikawa - Ultimate Thanatologist

Gender: Female

Height: 5′4″

Birthday: August 15th

Likes: Body Farms

Dislikes: Processed Cheese

Current Status: Alive (Thinks of herself as undead)

As a thanatologist, Tsukiko is an expert in all things death: decomposition, rituals, funerals, etc. Similarly, she dresses appropriately in dark clothing. However, in sharp contrast, she's easily one of the most upbeat, cheerful one could meet. While she can come across as weird and creepy, she's really a nice girl. However, her most eccentric quality may be the fact that she believes she's already dead: she suffers from Cotard's Delusion, believing herself to be a walking corpse, even when others point out the inconsistencies in that fact.

Yuuki Kurosaki - Ultimate ??? (Claims of Ultimate Explorer and Ultimate Theorist)

Gender: Male

Height: 6′0″

Birthday: July 1st

Likes: Scrapbooks

Dislikes: Arrows

Current Status: Alive

Travelling from continent to continent, Yuuki Kurosaki is always searching for his next adventure. With credits for discovering hidden temples across the globe and recovering treasure, Yuuki is known among treasure hunters and explorers alike. He loves and values family over everything else, especially admiring his brother Taro. Though he also fears creating bonds with people after...-Data Missing-...occurred, though after he,...-Data Missing-... and two others...-Data Missing-... His personality became more unpredictable. 

[queercapwriting]

Alex’s Fallout, Marcus’s Interrogation (2x20)

@ophelias-heart wrote “ What about Alex not being in the field, still recovering from the attack last week. She refuses to take the time off, says she's fine but is restricted to the DEO. Maybe being in the confined space while talking with Marcus is tough, flashes back to being stuck in that cage. Kara/James/Winn sees her struggling at one point but tries not to treat her like glass because she'll try to prove she's made of steel. Maggie comforts her after a text from Kara?” and @loverofshows wrote “ something about alex's ptsd? maybe her talking to James or J'onn about it, in addition to Maggie? “ and @lynxwilde wrote “The fact that they did not deal with any of the fall out of last episode and the deplorable lack of Maggie.” and @chortles81 wrote “ Can't help but wonder if anyone else noticed the questionable helpfulness of 'tell us where your mom is so we can protect your mom from doing bad things to other people' coming from a DEO agent to an alien child with that backstory... considering what you've said about the DEO, Maggie's opinion of it (and the DEO's effect on Alex), and however-unintended parallels on race/policing in this episode (esp. POC police leadership) any chance you'd want to explore that further? “ and @sapphic-daisies wrote “ can you do something about how j'onn's doing? his feelings get sidelined so often like he probably misses m'gann and must still be reeling from 2x19 and now he must feel like he cant protect his family and i also have this headcanon that bc of his martian mind stuff he's super sensitive to other's emotions so like he must not be doing so great oh my god i have so many feels about space dad ok “

He won’t let her back into the field.

J’onn.

Or the DEO shrink.

“He’s a therapist, babe,” Maggie tries to soothe her, but Alex insists on calling him her shrink.

And she insists on telling everyone who will listen that she’s fine, she’s fine, and can everyone stop acting like she’s not and can someone just please give her back her damn gun already?

They let her interrogate the boy because she’ll probably kill someone if she doesn’t have something to do.

And with Alex’s history of violence? Extreme violence? Sadistic violence? 

It’s not an idle possibility.

So she kneels down when Marcus comes into the DEO, and J’onn notices her flinching, still in pain from the week before, but he thinks he only notices because her thoughts are so loud.

Because her pain is so damn loud.

“Hey Marcus. I’m Alex. You wanna come in here and have a chat with me?”

He says nothing. He just stares at her. Alex’s eyes shift from J’onn to James and back again, and she guides the boy into the interrogation room. 

“You like burgers, Marcus?” No response.

“I’m gonna order us a couple. Okay?”

She makes a point of calling the place herself. In front of him. 

So maybe he’ll see her more as a regular person and less of a secret agent. Less of a soldier.

Hell, she doesn’t feel like much of a soldier lately anyway.

Especially not now. 

Not locked in this interrogation room, technically in control but really completely out of it, the boy holding all the cards, the walls holding them both in, and she knows it won’t start filling with water but she can’t help but constantly checking the corners of the rooms for pipes, and she knows it won’t start filling with water but she can’t help constantly wondering how long the boy can hold his breath, if his species even can hold their breath, what kinds of things he’d need if submerged in water.

Surely she’d die. Holding him above her.

She tries to talk to him.

Tries to ask him about school. About his mom. 

He says nothing.

The burgers come. She thanks Vasquez, who gives the boy a wink.

He still says nothing.

“You’re really not hungry, Marcus?” she asks, but she knows damn well he’s not.

Because she wasn’t, either, after everyone she knew watched her father nearly massacre hundreds of people.

And she isn’t, now, when her skin keeps crawling, when her body keeps threatening to seize, when every small sound indicates the oncoming rush of water that her brain knows won’t come, but that her body is convinced will happen.

That the throbbing scar on her shoulder is convinced will happen.

Kara notices first.

It’s Alex’s heartbeat that gives her away.

She waves over J’onn, and she points and she whispers, and he sighs, because he knows, and he wishes she would talk to him.

But he knows she won’t.

Not yet.

She tells him that she wants to help his mom.

That they need to find her, so they can protect her from from doing bad things to other people.

James flinches.

J’onn flinches.

Finding the boy’s mom would do no such thing.

And Alex doesn’t know this, because to her, Marcus is just a child. A little traumatized, maybe, but innocent. Oblivious.

She doesn’t know he doesn’t have the privilege to be oblivious.

Because he might be an alien, but he’s an alien with the wrong color skin on a white supremacist planet.

And he might be a child, but he knows that when government people -- or whoever she is, anyway -- want to find people who look like his mom, who look like him, it’s not to protect her from doing bad things to people.

His mom would never hurt anybody on purpose.

But of course this woman who thinks she’s being nice to him doesn’t know that.

Because she sees his mother’s purple eyes and she sees his mother’s brown skin, and she doesn’t know it, but she’s telling him exactly what he needs to know.

That he should keep his mouth shut, because this woman doesn’t know how to help her mother.

Because protecting his mother from doing bad things to people is hurting his mother. Is locking his mother away. Forever. Supposedly for her own protection.

A euphemism. 

He learned that word in school last week.

A euphemism to make her feel better about the work she does.

And he knows she’s scared. Scared of something about this room. Something about this cage.

He doesn’t blame her. It scares him, too.

He thinks maybe they have more in common than she understands, but also less in common than she assumes.

She’s itching to get out of this room.

Her skin is crawling.

So is his.

Maybe that’s enough common ground.

Maybe it isn’t.

He doesn’t know.

He just knows her wants to be let go.

And he imagines she does, too.

It’ll happen sooner, the less he says.

She’ll get overwhelmed. She’ll get frustrated. She doesn’t seem like the type to give up, but to get out of that room? She will.

He knows. So he waits.

And he’s right, because she slips out of the room, and she tells them that the man with the suit and the shield and the helmet would do a better job getting through to him.

He likes that man.

Maybe.

Maybe he can like that man. James, he said his name was. James.

His face had felt smooth. Solid.

Safe.

He knows he scares James.

That James is terrified of failing him.

Of failing him, of something happening to his mother, to him, and being powerless to stop it.

Marcus knows about feeling powerless.

He thinks he can like James.

And Alex? 

Alex runs into another woman’s arms, shorter than her, longer hair.

Because “Kara texted me, babe, told me your heartrate went through the roof,” and Alex says she’s fine, she’s fine, but Marcus knows better, and so does the woman holding her.

“Alex, it’s okay to not be able to be in an interrogation room. And I -- “ He sees the woman glance in the room. At him. And he sees her face run cold.

“Babe, what -- he’s a child, what the hell is he doing in an -- “

“His mother was responsible for -- “

“I don’t give a damn what his mother was responsible for, Danvers -- J’onn, James, how the hell could you allow this?”

“Detective Sawyer, this is DEO business, and -- “

“And this is my damn city, Director Henshaw, and I’ve kept my mouth shut about your alien Guantanamo for too long, but J’onn, he’s a little boy, how -- “

“Maggie, I was just trying to talk to him -- “

“Well maybe you could have taken him out to eat or something instead of -- “

“That’s exactly what Mr. Olsen was about to do, Detective Sawyer.”

“I... I was?”

“J’onn’s right, James. Look at him. He’s looking at you. He wants you.”

James stares and James sighs, and Maggie touches his hand, and it steadies him.

He nods and Maggie grimaces relief.

“Alex, I’m sorry, I know we’re not supposed to interfere in each other’s jobs, I just -- “

“No, no, Maggie, you’re right, I...” Maggie’s brow furrows, because Alex Danvers never gives in this easily.

“Alex, are you -- “

“I’m fine. I’m just capable of admitting when I’m wrong, okay? Sometimes. I just... I’m tired, Maggie. I’m just... I’m tired. Of being stuck here, of... of feeling like getting information out of an elementary school kid is the best I can do for my team. And I couldn’t even do that, I couldn’t... I couldn’t...” 

And suddenly Alex is breaking, and Maggie and J’onn are taking her to a side office, and then she’s sobbing, sobbing against J’onn’s chest and Maggie’s arms, hyperventilating because she has oxygen, now, she’s not in a cage, now, except she is, she is, and she doesn’t know if she’ll ever get out of it.

“I got you, babe,” Maggie whispers into her hair, and J’onn tries desperately not to feel, because Alex’s thoughts are loud and her feelings are louder -- screaming, screaming, so much screaming -- and his face holds stoic, and his body holds steady, but he misses M’gann and he misses his daughter’s smile, and he misses the time when he would never have put that little boy in a box, but so much has happened, too much has happened, and he’s losing his grip and he’s losing his empathy, and if Alex was his way out, she’s also got to be his way back in.

“We’ve all got you, Alex,” he tells her, and she sobs harder, and Maggie holds her closer, and J’onn wishes harder for James to trust himself with that boy, to trust himself because he won’t fail another child, another one of his children.

But he has faith in them.

And maybe that faith is exactly what they all need.

[bytheanchorarchived]

headcanons compilation  ↬  alexander lightwood

a compilation of my scattered/posted (so far) alec lightwood headcanons. i will be updating this as i post more.

i don’t think jace realizes how much of alec’s self worth was always knit so tight to him. how deep the pain of his unrequited feelings really run. how it actually feels when jace starts to reject him (from his pov).

vampire academy au

drabble: alec and telling magnus he doesn’t need permission to be in his space

alec’s fantasy is

alec: top intelligences

alec and not being as KIND or COMPASSIONATE as u might think

alec’s kink is to be loved by a cute boy.

i just really like the idea of clary and alec learning to be friends, care for each other, learn from each other, and learn to share jace and share in their love for him and eventually in their friendship.

do you ever cry about the fact that most probably almost all the runes on jace’s left side were put there by alec?

jace didn’t always have perfect control over his extra strength, specially since he was used to training only with valentine, who was an adult at the time, which evened the field. when he first started training with alec and izzy he sometimes went too hard on them. izzy complained but alec never did, and would  if needed hide any markings left, because he didn’t want jace to feel bad about it, and because he wasn’t about to admit he couldn’t take it from a kid almost two years younger than himself. 

things alec wants: magnus casually touching him.

not feeling like a good person is something that both alec and jace carry for different reasons, and in two people that are so moral and were raised in such a lawful and righteous environment, that is an awfully dark weight to carry.

one of alec’s greatest pleasures is being around magnus after they said their i love you’s, because he never experienced before the freedom of being with someone he loves while being open about it, and  as a result, getting to experience the rush of knowing they’re aware of his feelings and still wanna be there. just touching magnus, or kissing him, or being around him, while aware of all of this, makes a ridiculously huge difference.

ok, listen. alec learned how to treat, talk, and deal with, help, someone after strong trauma, growing up with jace. growing up with jace, he learned that you don’t just touch someone that is going through an episode because of abuse/trauma or other strong case of overwhelming emotion. he learned that unwanted affection can be just as bad as violence, or indifference, and that the BEST thing he can possibly do is let the other person know he’s there, and let them tell him what they need. alec never goes straight to jace physically, when he’s upset, unless he initiates it, or jace gives him a clear indication of what he needs (indication that to parabatai that grew up together can be just a look of permission). he RESPECTS the fact that his need to help the people he loves, should not, is not, and will never be more important than what that person needs or wants. he respects the fact that he DOESN’T know what a person with trauma needs better than themselves, and he knows that even silent support, or just making sure the person is safe, can make a huge difference. he accepts and understands the fact that someone during or after a traumatic event, or traumatic memories of that event, might not WANT or be able to HANDLE affection at all, and he’s ready to give it only, and only if, the person indicates that’s what they need. this has been demonstrated in the way he took care of isabelle while she was detoxing. this has been shown again with magnus. this has been shown with jace again on the roof. his own sensibility allowed him to learn this, and it’s what makes jace trust him so much. jace TRUSTS alec to be there for him, because he KNOWS alec won’t push him, or overwhelm him, or even so much as touch him without permission. and sometimes, though not always, just to know that he can have this small power and agency over his own body and what happens to it, and who touches it, and how, can be enough to wind him down a notch.

lowkey both alec and jace are oddly attracted to magnus’ lack of belly button.

alec really likes magnus’ hands.#he likes kissing them#touching them#holding#having them on his face#on his body#i mean

listen, magnus hands are magical, powerful, and so, SO kind, gentle, and hard working, and alec feels gratefulness and profound admiration.

listen, alec comes home from magnus all glittery, with lipstick marks, bed hair, and hickeys. he nuzzles magnus and likes to be touched all over, and doesn’t even realize he’s getting himself all shiny until someone points it out to him and he’s ‘ wh-wh-WHAT’ blushing mess. that happens bc alec doesn’t have the habit of looking at himself in the mirror at all. p sure he just goes about his business with his head down and thinking about a million things and never even lifts it, much less pays attention. after all, the boy that doesn’t even brush his hair, wouldn’t notice any of those on himself.

alec lightwood is a family man, a father, big brother, son, parabatai and a husband, before anything else and that’s what makes him the happiest.

i feel like jace passes by the bane-lightwood residence once in a while just to clean, because if he didn’t, between alec and magnus they’d drown in the mess.

tbh i actually think the beverage alec would like the most is wine, i have this headcanon that the institute and idris have the european tradition of wine at the dinner table, and the kids would be allowed to have a small glass as they grew up. it’s the one he’s more used to, and he likes it some because it feels like family and reminds him of home even if it’s a memory blur of the institute and his few scattered memories of alicante. it’s the one he knows a little more about too.

alec spent so many years controlling himself that he doesn’t have a quick trigger at the start. he keeps holding his body down subconsciously and has to remind himself he can let go, it might not even happen the first time he’s more intimate with someone. he spent years hating every little natural reaction on his body, training himself against it, and it takes him a while longer than an usual boy his age to physically manifest his arousal, to allow himself to. it becomes more natural as he feels safe and more used to the relationship.

also, i think that’s what people find so funny in the book (and by people i mean other characters) when alec is like “clary is one of my best friends” ? because they’re like, you couldn’t care less about her five minutes ago. but that’s the THING about alec, once he takes you under his wing, he does and it’s finished. it doesn’t matter what he thought before because once you’re one of them, you’re one of them, to alec and he’ll keep you safe with his life.

another example of this is when clary hears alec comforting izzy after simon is turned into a rat, and she’s crying and like, HE COULD HAVE DIED, and alec is like, very patiently saying, so what if he had? and izzy is like I WOULD HAVE- and he’s like “you would have continued to do what you always did and lived your life as usual.” and clary says he sounds like he’s done this many times before and not once does she says he sounds worried for simon or the other boys or that isabelle seems to get a lot of people in trouble, because SHE is not in trouble. alec. lightwood. doesn’t. care. he’s super lovely to izzy but not once he worries about simon, at that point.and YET, later on, when simon has saved their lives and stuff in cog, he DOES worry about him, when the clave takes him. so you see what i’m saying here?

talking to nanda @magnusbanedfromperu and headcanon that once they’re older, starting with alec after he adopts max, maryse teaches all her three children to cook, so they can cook for her grandchildren.

the truth is, ale.c head of the instit,ute would never work. he was already forced to choose between his family and the clav.e and he’ll continue to be. you can’t be against the system, while also answering to the system and representing it. if he truly wants to educate shadowhunt.ers, he can’t be liable by the cl.ave for his every move. if he always has to compromise to keep his position, if that is more important  — keeping the title — than working for change, then his hands will always be tied. at the end of the day he’ll live a hypocritical, limited, life.

when ale.c is like that but with kids he brings home and mag.nus is HOW DID WE GET ANOTHER CHILD. and al.ec just……………………………………. i saw them, they’re ours now.also, actually i was gonna say this before and thought it sounded mean but it’s just alec, alec is really like: they’re my child now, you don’t need to pitch in, but if you want to be their father with me i will love you even more for it. however, regardless of anything, they’re mine now and i will take care of them for the rest of my life.

do you ever think about isabelle and jace pranking alec and giggling in the corner?

alec.lightwood.doesn’t.see.people.as.their.sexuality.doesn’t.see.himself.as.his.sexuality.doesn’t.give.a.shit.what.your.sexuality.is.only.what.you.do.doesn’t.hate.people.because.of.their.sexuality.doesn’t.exist.for.that.

listen those blue jammies were alec’s once, bc maryse bought them to match his eyes, only alec didn’t like them so much because they were too bright, and so she gave them to jace, which is why neat-freak jace sleeps in clothes that have a hole in it. bc alec made it and they were alec’s jammies.

show headcanons

now all i can think about is that alec still had conflicted feelings after kissing magnus, and that when he snaps at him and says “after everything i did for you” that he’s actually screaming that at jace, like seeing jace on magnus, specially considering how tortured he is. as though, “after everything i did for you, you still left me, you left me and made me stay back and protect everyone when all i wanted was to go with you.” it’d also mesh well with what he says in his ‘apology’, about how not having jace around makes him confused and feeling as though he can’t stand on his own. that part of him is hurt that jace left, even if he rationally knows he did it for them, he’s still furious he went without putting up a fight, because he knew what that would cause to alec, how it’d kill him, but alec still had to be strong and protect everyone else, specially clary from going after them. when what he wanted was to run after jace, himself.

bc him saying that to magnus makes no sense we can even see that in magnus face he’s outraged like wtf u talking about alexander bc alec did do the wedding thing for himself and everything else magnus has done was to help him even if alec didn’t want him in the end he’d still want to help him, so alec’s outburst was confusing and makes no sense but if you look at it from this point of view of him being frustrated and nearly through a panic attack and feeling betrayed and like he can’t trust anyone and no one will LISTEN to how he FEELS and how BAD it is and his head just shifts into jace and all the crap they’ve been through in s01 and he snaps at the wrong person bc he feels like he’s going to burst from it all

alec / izzy and the demon possession / yin fen

“ I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE SEX IN MY BOYFRIEND’S APARTMENT YET. HOW HAVE YOU?!?!?!!?!”

alec did feel it when jace tried to kill himself during the trial. in fact, he felt jace’s anguish and despair, and he got hit by it hard, which is what ultimately made him vulnerable for the demon possession and attracted it to him, in the first place. jace’s anguish through the bond knocked alec’s guard down and got him possessed.

alec was serene and happy earlier when he talked to magnus. he was worried about jace, but he was so certain jace would be back in an instant that he wasn’t tortured by it. sure the demon possessions were scary and all, but alec isn’t a scared little child, and he knows better than to let his guard down. he wasn’t vulnerable, he was feeling grateful to be alive, to have jace back, to have magnus.so why and how would the demon get in him? the most logic explanation is that jace was in such terror and pain and anguish that it seeped through the bond, and hit alec. which then, for my alec, drove his possessed self to clary’s room looking for her, where he found jocelyn instead.

what i really take into consideration about alec’s despair for finding jace, beyond the parabatai bond, beyond loving him so deeply, was that (mine, at least) alec had grown up hearing jace’s stories about his father. he grew up holding jace at night when he had nightmares. listening to incredibly awful stories told in a nonchalant tone because jace never even knew how bad it was; because he never knew any differently; listening to a little boy talk about his father with a fierce loyalty and love, when alec only felt stomach sick at the way he was raised, treated and beaten. jace literally thinks how he remembers looking for beating scars on his body after his father died, because those were the closest connections he had to him. and alec KNOWS this. he knows all of it. he knows exactly how jace was abused, how he feels about it, how vulnerable he is to valentine, and i think that of everything THIS is what scares him the most.

i think that when he was a little kid, he promised himself that he would NEVER let someone hurt jace like that again. and i think it really translates in his complete despair at not being able to find him. he knows more than anyone, almost as much as jace, what valentine is capable of. he knows intimately of the mental and emotional effects that has had on someone whose soul he has inside him. he KNOWS how this is gonna wreck jace apart, and it HURTS, because he swore he’d never let valentine(or michael) get his hands on him again and then it happened.

i’m sure i’m the slowest person on earth but i think i just maybe realized their intention with alec+jocelyn (i mean besides another wedge between fraywood). that alec’s rage brought him to clary’s room, to kill her, and found jocelyn in it, instead.+ i mean, i thought about it because before that we get that scene between clary and her mom, and there’s this pretty pointless comment of her saying she was guarding clary’s room, to make sure it was clear. it’d make sense? if izzy came for alec, because she focused years of resentment on him, alec does focused a lot of his resentment with himself on clary since she showed up.

ok. but seriously. this makes so much sense to me, and it’s my headcanon now. and now i’ve made myself sad. we got almost the entire first half of the episode reminding us of how alec’s annoyed by clary, doesn’t like her etc. then there was jocelyn’s comment that she was guarding clary’s bedroom. and i’m pretty sure some part of alec still irrationally, deep down, blamed clary for jace being through all the suffering he can feel his parabatai going through. valentine wouldn’t order jocelyn dead, specially when he hadn’t even got to talk to her yet. and while alec did have reasons to hate her, i.e. for what she did to jace, and how she used him too, she wouldn’t be his priority target. so what does make sense to me, was that he was looking for the daughter and found jocelyn instead, and it was good enough for the demon, given the circumstances. clearly i’m not saying alec wants clary dead, ofc not, much less to be the one to kill her, but just that his emotions would much more likely guide the demon towards her than her mother.

memory demon : “the one person you love the most.” /love/ the most. and while you could argue it was a sibling type of love (which is bullshit), alec’s reaction to it makes it clear that was not what that was, and he knew it wasn’t, and therefore could not possibly IMAGINE that someone would think it was something else, and not what he hated himself so much for. just like izzy knew. magnus knew. and clary knew. and jace did too at that moment. i just don’t get how someone can think that isn’t important. is alec falling in love with magnus? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY, but that doesn’t invalidate feelings he’s had before. it takes a while to work those kind of things out. he’s learning to love jace in a platonic way. i don’t know about anyone else, but, to me, you just don’t forget your first love, and everyone you’ve loved in fact, stays with you in one way or another. everything was done rushed-ly (though we know that was not their fault in season 01) so yES. alec WAS in love with jace still. at least my alec would always have been.just like camille is fucking important, and not dispensable, neither is jace to alec. their heartbreaks and unrequited love, are part of what make them finding each other so important. discarding that just actually cheapens their love, in my opinion.

malec fighting : i want magnus to drop his gentleness for once, and be the powerful, centuries old warlock around alec. i want  him to give alec a good shake (with words), so he realizes he can’t just shift back into treating magnus like “any other downworlder” that doesn’t belong in his business whenever he’s angry, scared, or upset. i loved that scene so much, but now i really wanted a confrontation that didn’t happen last time, when alec apologized instead, and magnus was sweet to him and that was great, but i wanted him to shake alec up a bit this time. like yes, he understands, but alec needs to understand too. that that was his family as much as it was alec’s. that alec can’t just be a shadowhunter, in business mode, that has no space for magnus whenever things get hard.

#ok#i see where you're coming from and all#but let me tell you about the word 'friend'#that fucking word#hurts so much#so fucking much#idk if that's the case here with magnus#but i can say that even watching that scene made me flinch#there is a world of conotations#of sweeping under the rug#of diminishing#of shaming#of dismissing#and of humiliation in that word#specially when it's said in the exact tone he said it#it actually hurt me to see it#it's a brutal word when said just right  X

there is a reason for why alec never sensed jace’s hook ups before, but jace felt it when alec and magnus first had something intimate with each other. the reason being that what jace felt and called happiness was actually a mix of intimacy, safety, yes, pleasure, but above all, love. since jace has never been in love before clary, and never had the chance to have something more with her, alec never felt the same from him. which is why it was a big surprise when he found out jace felt it, and it’s something he’s definitely to this day not entirely comfortable with. when clary and jace finally have their moment, alec will probably feel it too. it is certainly one of the reasons for his jealousy and pain in the first season, as he’s felt many things from 🇯🇦🇨🇪 towards girls before, but had never sensed him actually falling in love with someone else, until her.

people say alec is not affectionate enough but honestly to my alec those little touches are such an evolution??? just talking about my portrayal, personally, he was definitely more affectionate as a child, but ever since his gay thoughts™ started, he slowly stopped being freely affectionate to people. it started with jace, and then it extended to not initiating affection unless other people did for him. he’s JUST learning that it’s okay and he’s okay being who he is and he’s not gonna taint people just by touching them, or his close ones aren’t gonna find out he’s weird if they stand too close, or he’s not gonna give himself away if he lets himself be sensible and warm and let people in. that his love is not tainted. the fact that he’s initiating so many little gestures of affections is incredible to me. and i know the show doesn’t quite show how much of his struggle was due to homophobic society since that is so toned down in it, but his struggle was supreme, and to be this confident in himself, this comfortable, with greeting kisses and casual touching, that is amazing to me.

ok but look at his face. i know there’s this whole show thing where suddenly alec is the most confident person in the world, but that’s not how my interpretation will go. he’s not comfortable in this position, at all. he doesn’t even know if this is what he actually wants or just what his family imposed for him and he’s just used to it. he didn’t have the time to figure that out with jace having been head for less than 24 hours. at this point it feels like an obligation he can’t escape, and he feels wrong telling people what to do and being in this much exposition. he doesn’t like it. and he’s not even sure the job is for him.

ok but look at his face. i know there’s this whole show thing where suddenly alec is the most confident person in the world, but that’s not how my interpretation will go. he’s not comfortable in this position, at all. he doesn’t even know if this is what he actually wants or just what his family imposed for him and he’s just used to it. he didn’t have the time to figure that out with jace having been head for less than 24 hours. at this point it feels like an obligation he can’t escape, and he feels wrong telling people what to do and being in this much exposition. he doesn’t like it. and he’s not even sure the job is for him.

jalec headcanon hour: jace is able to, through their parabatai bond, activate alec’s runes for him without a stele, and at a distance, just like he does with his own.

i firmly believe alec is overcompensating on confidence and decision-making for having not done so the episode magnus was trapped inside valentine. that’s why he’s so“FINE”, with all of this. he KNEW something was wrong the moment he touched magnus to get him off the floor after azazel’s attack. but he didn’t trust himself, and if he had, and had been more involved, instead of accepting the clave’s authority, things would had been different. now he’s desperate to fix this however he can, prove himself not only as a protector but as DIFFERENT from the institution that did what they did to magnus, the downworlders, and so many other prisoners, and trust his gut. and just really hoping it won’t explode all on his face. pretty sure an anxiety attack is on the way when things get too big to handle. he’s much too young for this big a responsibility over so many lives. he might look all grown up but if clary is eighteen, that means he’s twenty one at best. and i feel like it’s often forgotten.

ok, but, good part of why it took my alec a while to realize the whole switch thing is he’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop. aka people, including  magnus, to reject him.

for weeks after alec dies for a second, jace has repeated nightmares of re-living that scene, only alec never comes back and jace in the dream thinks reality is the illusion. it messes him up for a while, where he needs to touch alec to know he’s real and there and alive, and jace wakes up gasping and while he’s dreaming he at times chants the ‘please don’t leave me, alec’ hoping this time he will get to live. some times in those dreams alec is killed by wolves, or by valentine’s hand because jace refuses to obey. some times he wakes up with his parabatai rune burning.

[kierofrp]

thoughts on degrassi: next class season 3 :) it’s nearly 3,000 words because apparently i had a lot of emotions. 

i...honestly was expecting the worst. the way they refused to promote the show until the last second and the fact that everything was hush-hush... i was expecting it to be awful. but this season is the first season in forever that reminds me of the degrassi i fell in love with when i was growing up, and it honestly makes the last few seasons look a little garbage in comparison. i cried at least 1 time per episode - maybe i’m just in an emotionally vulnerable place, but everything was getting to me. every emotional beat held my attention and brought me so deep into the world. i don’t even have words. the characters were all realistic as hell - and all a little problematic in their own ways - and it was just... wow. and everyone actually got enough focus and nobody got too much screentime imo. even maya -who had the most important plotline (in my opinion) & has been degrassi’s princess for the past few seasons - even maya had an appropriate amount of screentime. i’m here for it. i don’t want this class to graduate, unlike clare’s class, who i was so damn sick of... i’m gonna go into each character (and their related plots) now while the emotions are still so raw.

zoe - i LOVED zoe’s storyline. i love her falling for rasha. i loved her finding herself and feeling secure and safe and having a friend group. i loved her being student counsel president. she is perfect for it. i love that they showed her actually being a president, not just throwing dances and bullshit like the past few presidents. she was actually doing well for the school and... killing it. i hate her mom, but i loved the way they portrayed it. it was seriously so realistic and it was hitting me hard as someone who just recently came out to my mom. that’s how it is for so many people who come out, but i love that she decided to refuse giving up her happiness - especially since its’ taken so long for her to achieve. i cannot wait for more gay zoe thriving and living for herself. she was one of my favorite characters this season. she has had so much shit happen to her, and for her to finally be coming into her own and finally finding herself, even if it means losing her mom... fuck i loved zoe so much and ana did such an amazing job. 

rasha - raSHA RASHA RASHA !!!!!!! i am so fucking in love with rasha. her claiming her faith the way she wants to, her crushing on zoe and being so fucking ADORABLE WITH ZOE i was so here for every bit of it and i wish she was only a sophomore or something because i need her to be the main character once the seniors graduate PLEASE. she was literally possibly my favorite part of this season. casting a+, acting a+, the only thing i could wish for would be more plots with different people. i liked her little parts with miles, i loved the stuff with goldi, i loved the stuff with zoe (gracevas who?)... i just want her to be more than just zoe’s girlfriend and goldi’s friend.

goldi - OK so.... i liked her storyline about her struggling with her faith. i liked her storyline with her struggling to accept beliefs that weren’t strictly muslim.. however, i wish they hadn’t made her a feminist. because although feminists are completely able to have their own beliefs on things like homosexuality and other ‘sins’, it reinforces the other parts of her that represent white feminism to me. she’s not intersectional. she’s a feminist about ‘equality’ with men and she’s a feminist about her hijab. great strides. but that doesn’t make her the poster child for feminism in my opinion. i’d rather her be the leader of the social justice club or something rather than feminism club (that, lol, doesn’’t exist now that it’s not convenient to the plot) 

winston - this is gonna be short lol but i DIDN’T HATE HIM THIS TIME AROUND OOPS. he wasn’t bad! this is the max involvement i want out of him. tiny doses of him are alright - he was cute with zoe/rasha/goldi, which is my top friend group this season, especially since zig’s friends are GAAArrrRbbbAAAAGGGEEEE)

zig - speaking of! i didn’t hate zesme. i actually liked them better than zaya. i liked that they were sexually active and (other than the gross slut shaming plot) were sex-positive and not ashamed of being sexually active. i’m here for it. i’m here for them having all of the sex they want. zig was a pretty small part of the season which i am... COMPLETEly ok with because i honestly... got sick of him the past few seasons. especially if the writers aren’t gonna flesh him out. i’m struggling to think of other plots other than the stuff with esme and his friends being absolute garbage which LEADS ME TO....

tiny - i liked him so much in the past but fuck but he was acting like garbage this season. other than the scene after 7 minutes in heaven where he says ‘you only like me when i’m the perfect science student’ or whatever to shay -- i liked that. and i guess i liked the period stuff with him. but he was acting kinda garbage. i’m ok with it because i love that they’re making these characters flawed and interesting and problematic. 

shay - i don’t,,, know. she was alright, i didn’t like the revenge bullshit because that’s so not shay. she’s not petty like she was acting this season. she’s never been petty. i prefer the plots about her scholastic life and her future goals. i liked that she didn’t get too involved in being extra and petty and dramatic, but this season she kinda became that person. it’s alright because again, i like seeing flawed characters and they definitely did that this season, but i did like when she was different than her friends. 

lola - BLESS. LOLA. she was interacting with so many people and interweaving with so many different plots and it was just...expert writing tbh. she had so much going on but it all made sense together. the abortion plot gave me chills, i love that they showed the doctor and they showed the procedure and that line about her not being the first 16 year old to get an abortion in the day... WOW. seriously. amanda’s acting deserves some type of award. she killed it. miles/lola stuff... i was a fan tbh. it worked. so well. i loved it all. i loved that she didn’t struggle with her abortion. i loved that she shared her story and wasn’t sorry. i have zero complaints. i don’t want her to graduate. she’s the first one in a while that i really am starting to care about. i care about her the way i cared about jt and manny and all of the characters in the old days. i’m in love with lola. i’m in love with lola being vulnerable and sensitive and a little petty and more than a vessel for mediocre one-liners. and that blue hair was stellar. i have such a crush on amanda and the fact that she’s a good actress (she’s improved a ton since the last few seasons) and she’s super beautiful... maybe my new fave? it’s a three way tie between lola, rasha, and frankie. hoping for single lola next season because she is SO MUCH BETTER than these dumb boy plotlines she’s been getting. she’s come so far from being the boy-crazy dumb character. she’s developing so nicely. yes yes yes. 

frankie - i’m mad that they dropped the racism plot. zero mention. everyone hated her and wanted nothing to do with her and suddenly she apologizes and nobody is upset with her at all? whatever though. i wish they just hadn’t done that because as i posted earlier, i related to her so damn much with her emotional issues. i hope they do some sort of plot with her being codependent and having emotional issues. i’m super clingy just like her - i give my all to my partners and i lose a bit of my identity, just like her. and seeing myself in her, seeing her not necessarily being demonized (in my opinion, other than the last bit with jonah) was meaningful. i just wish she wasn’t racist. i liked that the hollingsworth siblings were all interacting with one another throughout the season. i liked the continuity of her being kinda gross saying abortion was murder (its consistent)... sara is an amazing actress. 

jonah - garbage garbage garbage but i appreciate that he’s realistic and consistent. but he’s lowkey gross. highkey gross. he reminds me of jay or something. that whole friend group (zig, grace, jonah) seems to non-stop talk shit about everyone and it was gross, but agaaaain realistic and i appreciate that the writers are writing the characters like this. and i see my partners in jonah tbh when it comes to frankie. i hope to god grace and jonah don’t get together though, i’m not here for that at all. not in the LEAST. just be friends for fucks sake.

grace - here for it here for it here for it. not here for her putting up with her friends’ shit talking women and being shady because in the past she’s definitely not put up with petty drama, but whatever. maybe this is more realistic. her CF stuff is so unique and great and i’m just here for degrassi getting out of their comfort zone and writing unique stories and actually doing research to represent a disease and props to nikki for portraying that fear of dying and the conflicted emotions and i’m here for it so HARDCORE. and her being mad at maya, here for it. she was justified, even though maya was going through shit, she was so justified and i just loved nikkis performance. all i can wish for in the future is maybe a plot about her being native and dealing with the issues that go with that. and drop your gross friends, especially jonah. 

esme - she is SO intriguing and i’m so mad they’re wasting chelsea’s talent. the acting was out of this world and her emotional beats were so fucking awesome. if they don’t do a serious mental health plot before she graduates i will forever be mad at the writers. having her spiral even more after pretty much reliving finding her mom (with the maya situation) will be so traumatic. and chelsea would kill it. as i said with zig, i like zesme tbh, i love her being open about her sexuality and not ashamed of anything when it comes to being a woman. i didn’t like her shaming shay for having her period, but it seems about right for esme’s character. and again, problematic realistic characters. they’re high schoolers. they’re gonna be petty. and esme has some problems that would cause her to be bad with social situations and act in a way that gets attention.... more esme next year or i’m gonna riot.

miles - here. for. it. EVERYTHING was perfect. the lola thing made perfect sense. his acting was out of this world. the interactions with tristan were amazing, the whole plot was great. i wasn’t really into the play but i get that it was a good plot device. i think they could’ve had lola and him bond and have the same great plot without the play, but bringing tristan into it needed the play, and i think it was overall a good idea i guess. the play was well woven into the entire season. the whole season was just so well interwoven i was shocked. usually it’s off balance and people don’t intersect, but... they killed it.

tristan - i didn’t even care about tristan before now. at all. but it was so jarring to see him in a coma and then waking up and in the wheelchair... i started crying when he was in the wheelchair typing the words. he’s changed forever. and i love it. the bus crash is forever changing his life. he may never be the same, and i hope he graduates in the chair with minimal speech capability. i’m fine with him relearning speech but if he returns to the sassy, personable guy he was before the crash... it’d be unfortunate to waste this opportunity to make a memorable and unique plot. i hated his last scene about pizza. the ending was such a serious and melancholy beat and then they were like PIZZA!!! trying to be funny. and idk if it was supposed to be him incapable of expressing emotions with maya literally almost killing herself but he literally didn’t make one comment about the girl that he met on his first day of high school and was so involved with for Y E A R S... they were best friends. they may have had falling outs but come on. give us something. he could understand emotions with miles cheating on him and could have a coherent conversation and understanding when it came to that, so why not this? btw i appreciate him not being totally biphobic with the lola thing and understanding it somewhat. of course, he has limited speech so it’s not like he can spout off a bunch of biphobic bullshit like usual, and hopefully there are more important things than miles hooking up with a girl... i liked how he took it and although i don’t care one way or another about triles, i liked their resolution, and i definitely 100% believe triles is endgame. i’ll be surprised if it’s not. 

maya - the big one. i cried almost every time she was on screen because i related so much to her. i got her. i got what she was feeling and i understood every frustration and every action and everything she was going through. of course not 100%, but i got it. i loved the mention of cam and adam (although i would’ve killed for her to talk about how she thought suicide was selfish when cam did it and how she now gets it, i would’ve killed to hear her thought process there) but i was here for it. olivia is an amazing actress. she killed it. and i loved that she wasn’t a part of a lot of the plots. it really isolated her and it translated and it made sense with how isolated she was truly feeling. i liked the saad stuff - even though it was totally fucked up, i totally got it and i understood them finding solace in one another and the photoshoot stuff was seriously so interesting and (as i’ve said for 1,000,000 things in this review) SO UNIQUE. i’ve never seen depression handled the way they handled maya. i was never expecting to feel so strongly about maya but it was amazing. her slowly reaching her breaking point in the last couple seasons has been so masterful, and this was just perfect. the pill popping scene and the scene with katie and her mom where she was having one good night before she kills herself...that acting...you just knew. and it was heart wrenching. this has to be some of the best stuff degrassi has ever done. as someone who has seen everything since day 1 of tng, i’m seriously saying that this plot with maya - this arc that has been going on since cam’s death - is seriously some of the best tv i’ve ever seen. like amanda, olivia deserves a nomination or something for this. seeing katie was amazing - props to degrassi for that, considering in the past, like with clare, past family members just ceased to exist. 

gamer club - idc IDC IDC and if these are the motherfuckers who are supposed to carry the show after lola’s class graduates i’m sorry but i may lost interest. it wasn’t HORRIBLE but it just reminded me of the past few seasons that were just mediocre. they held my interest enough, but i’m not invested overly. baaz is annoying, vijay is a piece of human garbage, hunter is mediocre, and yael... yael has potential if she stops lowering herself to the level of these losers.

overall, this is the best season in forever. the stories were interwoven so well, the writing was great, the plots were diverse and unique and not tired (like they have been in the past few seasons)... it was so emotional. and so real. and it gives me hope for this franchise and makes me want to write on their staff and continue to make content like this. i want season 4. i want these flawed fucked up teenagers. the production value went up. the writing went through the roof. the acting wasn’t cringey like it usually has been. it has flaws, but overall... i’m singing praises and i have hope. shouts out to degrassi for reviving this franchise (hopefully) and getting it right. HERE FOR IT. <3

[erraticfairy]

Podcast: Children’s Treatment for Mental Health Issues

Today’s guest is Okpara Rice, CEO of Tanager Place, a mental health facility for children in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.  Unlike adults, children are not in control of their own environment, and anything that affects a child will affect their families, and vice versa.  So, what is the best way to help these kids?  Join us as Okpara and Gabe talk about the importance of a holistic approach to mental illness in children, approaches which may or may not include medication.

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

  Guest information for ‘Children’s Mental Health’ Podcast Episode

Okpara Rice joined Tanager Place of Cedar Rapids, Iowa in July 2013, and assumed the role of Chief Executive Officer in July 2015. Okpara is the first African American to hold executive office at Tanager Place in its more than 140-year history.

Okpara is active in the field and his community and currently serves on a wide number of boards and advisory committees locally, regionally, nationally and internationally. The issues that fuel his passion include juvenile justice, access to services, health equity, education and leadership development.

Okpara has presented internationally in Europe and Canada on issues that affect children. He holds a Bachelor of Science in Social Work from Loyola University, Chicago, Illinois, and a Master of Social Work from Washington University, St. Louis, Missouri. He also holds an Executive Management certification from Georgetown University, Washington DC, and an Executive Scholar Certificate from the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois.

Okpara lives in Marion, Iowa with his wife Julie and sons Malcolm and Dylan. To learn more about Tanager Place of Cedar Rapids please visit www.TanagerPlace.org.

  Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Children’s Mental Health’ Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: Welcome to the Psych Central Podcast, where each episode features guest experts discussing psychology and mental health in every day plain language. Here’s your host, Gabe Howard.

Gabe Howard: Hello, everyone, and welcome to this week’s episode of the Psych Central Podcast. Before we get started, I want to give a big shout out to our sponsor, Better Help Online Therapy, where you can get one week of free, convenient, affordable, private online counseling anytime, anywhere, just by visiting BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral. They help keep the show free, so please check them out. And speaking of shows, calling in today, we have Okpara Rice, the CEO of Tanager Place of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Okpara, welcome.

Okpara Rice: Hey, thanks, Gabe. Great to be with you today.

Gabe Howard: Well, we’re really glad to discuss children and mental illness, children and mental health. Nobody wants to talk about children. I mean, people just aren’t talking about mental illness at all and children are vulnerable. So I really appreciate all you do and being willing to have this discussion. The first question that I want to ask you is what is Tanager Place?

Okpara Rice: Well, yeah, we’re in east central Iowa pretty much, and we’re a behavioral health organization, and we see about five thousand kids a year. We have a large outpatient mental health clinic, inpatient services, in-home services. We also do a great deal of training on trauma and resilience. We host a symposium every year. And really, you know, our mission is to inspire, empower and heal. That’s really the three things that we are trying to do with kids in our state. The other thing, though, that I’m really involved in a lot of advocacy, both on the state level, the national level. I’m also involved in some international work as well. And so this discussion around children’s mental health and what is proper mental health for children has been something that I’ve been working with really since the last few years. I think it’s a conversation that has finally started to kind of hit the national media. I think people are starting to pay a little bit more attention. I think even when you look at what’s happening right now at the border and what’s happening with those kids. People are talking about the trauma. I’ve talked to CNN some. I was talking about the trauma that they’re facing. And I said, oh, OK, we’re finally starting to get it all over the country. So it is a good conversation to have. And because really, it’s about where we’re going to put resources for the future. So it’s not cliche when we say that children are our future, that is literally the truth. But it’s a hard thing to do.

Gabe Howard: One of the things that I think that’s interesting is you’re saying that trauma is part of mental health and it’s bad mental health. A lot of people, when they think of mental health and, you know, unfortunately we use that word wrong all the time. You know, he has mental health. Everybody has mental health. They’re really speaking of mental illness. But when we’re speaking of negative mental health, you see the trauma scale is being very valuable. Can you explain that a little bit? Because so many people don’t see trauma as mental illness or mental health at all.

Okpara Rice: Yes, because I think that what we’re trying to do, I think what has happened in movies and other things, I think people have had the vision of what is someone who is mentally ill and then what is somebody who is struggling with their mental health. What is somebody who is in struggle with mental health challenges and what we have learned and what we really know is that all of us at some point have had some type of mental health challenge. Right. And some of us have had different resilience factors and different interventions that helped us over those humps. And I think that we are starting to know more and really speak to. And I think that people are like, oh, yeah, you know, I think I’m gonna go get some help. Or maybe a child is looking a little bit more sad than I remember. They’re not talking as much. Maybe we should get some consultation. I think that what we’ve known the discussion around trauma and ACES, the Adverse Childhood Experiences Survey that Kaiser Permanente had done, had really kind of pushed across the nation. And people start to think like, God, how many? What were those things that kids have been exposed to that could affect their physical outcomes later in life? And that’s where the discussion has changed over the last few years. People are making the connection of these traumatic events. And they don’t have to be that you witnessed a shooting. There could be things like people hollering in your house or bullying situations that happen at school or divorce. It could be a multitude of things that are traumatic to a child. So there is no one like, you know, major traumatic event. It could be small little things that adds up, that erode the child’s sense of self over the years. And so what are those things that help the child to try and build themselves back up? What are those things that helps the child feel strong? What are those supports that the community has to foster those resilience factors in children? That’s what we’re talking more about. That’s the part that’s exciting. We kind of know what really deteriorates a child’s resilience factors, but we have to do in invest in the things that actually help build those resilience factors.

Gabe Howard: And when it comes to children, they’re vulnerable for a couple of reasons. One, they’re children, but two, they’re completely dependent on the adults who are around them. For example, if I feel that I am in harm’s way as an adult, I am empowered to do something about it. But children don’t have that. They’re stuck with whomever their parents are. And that can be a positive. But it could also be very negative.

Okpara Rice: Absolutely, I mean, but when you think about it, all children have to go to school. Right. So we know and we as a country know where our kids are going to be mainly especially doing the school month. We have to build on support there. Parents are doing the best job they can. Some parents are better than other parents, right. Depending on how you look at what parenting is. Some days, I have two sons, I feel like I’m a really good parent and sometimes I feel like, boy, I’m really struggling to handle that situation well. So parents are also a tremendous amount of pressure. And I think when we look at the complex issues of our society, all those things factor in. However, parents still need backup. Right. You know, we need to make sure that our school systems in that are also trauma informed, resilience, focused solutions focus to help kids who may be struggling. And what we find is that more and more resources have been pulled out of schools for mental health and for positive mental health than has been a year in years past. Because everybody is trying to do the best they can with the budgets they have. We also need to make sure there are enough community support. I grew up in Chicago and I remember I spent my summers basically almost unsupervised, you know, on the streets of Chicago running with my friends. You know, there were no community centers. There were no real organized activities in my neighborhood. And so how can we invest in our community? Especially our communities that are more at risk? And we know that there are higher traumatic events and lower socio economic status to make sure that those kids are still getting positive influences, that we’re still intervening in a positive way, preventing kids from having further mental health crises later on in life and also strengthening their resilience. There are a lot of things that we have to do as a community, and it’s not, and again, I don’t mean to be cliche, but we have to look at it as a whole village that we have to care about what’s happened with all kids, regardless of who lives in my neighborhood or who doesn’t live in my neighborhood. These are things that we need to have.

Gabe Howard: It’s an interesting concept that you raise, Okpara, that there are things that we can do to give kids a better chance and improve their mental health. That children won’t even see as preventative medicine for it, for lack of a better word. You take a child to a doctor, you give them a physical or you give them vaccines, that the child knows that it’s preventative medicine. But having structured activities, having supervision, getting them involved in sports, theater, music or things like this, it improves their mental health. And I would say that the average child is completely unaware that this is improving their mental health.

Okpara Rice: Absolutely. They’re building blocks of life. Is that this is what we know kids need and that kids know it’s that holistic view of a child. And we also have to you said it. We have to care as much about the mental health as we do their physical health. That is as crucial. I said something controversial at a meeting maybe a year ago right after the Parkland shooting and that tragedy of that young man and all those children that died. This was also a child who committed this act, because this was a young man who had gone through therapy and had been in therapy. And so therapy is not a magic bullet. Medication is not a magic bullet. And sometimes I think what gets portrayed is that these things are like so magical. Know what the journey is, the journey that we need to start as early as possible for children and to make sure we’re intervening as early as we possibly can and hopefully preventing tragedies like that. But there are many, many children who struggle with mental health issues who never become violent. There are many people who have struggled with mental health issues as children who’ve grown up to be very successful adults. What it is is that you find those things that help center, you find those things to help you recover when you have crises, you find those supportive adults, supportive community around you that helps you when you have some of those low points. The use of psychopharmacology has also been something that we have gotten much better at knowing. But the types of medications that might help a child and when children shouldn’t be on medication as a field, we have gotten much more sophisticated. We tend not to focus on the positive things that are happening to the many, many programs around the country that are doing positive things. That for whatever reason, the things that always hit the paper are things we always hear the most about other negative things that are happening. That’s something that I think is really, really unfortunate. And we have got to have portrayals out there, people who are getting healthy. It’s OK to have setbacks. It’s OK to have challenges. We all have that. And that’s the part we have to realize. None of us have gone through life without having some type of mental health challenge or issues of low self-esteem or issues of depression or issues of self-doubt or doubt about the world. These are things that we just have to come to acknowledge. And I think that helps reduce the stigma and a lot of ways, because you know what? It can be any one of us. I mean, each of us are such different, unique creatures. We all have different resilience factors. We all have different lives that we live. And then that journey has taught us how to deal with different stresses. And so I am very much glass half full about this because I think that there are so many amazing people out there trying to do work with kids that it that it does my heart well. And I know at Tanager Place, that’s one of things that we do. And I get to do that work every day.

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Gabe Howard: And we’re back speaking with Okpara Rice, the CEO of Tanager Place. Let’s talk about some controversy for a moment, because something that you said there is we need everything. We need psychopharmacology, which is, you know, medication and we need therapy and we need community supports. And we need we need lots of things. Like you use the cliche, which is one that I really like, is that it really does take a village. But like you said, the controversies are what hits the news. And one of the big ones that people talk about all the time is, oh, you have a hyper child or a child who’s hard to handle. Let’s medicate them and make it easier on the parents. What do you have to say about that from your viewpoint as the CEO of Tanager Place, who works with a lot of children who are in crisis?

Okpara Rice: Yeah, I think that’s a fallacy. I think that sometimes we think that a pill can solve everything. Psychopharmacology is just a part of treatment that usually is tied to therapy and other interventions. It’s just a part of the treatment process. It is not meant for every child. It is not the most appropriate thing for every child. But there are a large segment of kids where it is. We are very lucky here. We have two psychiatrists, two psychiatric nurse practitioners, a psychologist. We have a great medical team here and I see them and the work they do everyday. Parents are not coming in saying, hey, just give me some medication. My child needs to calm down. That is not what’s happening. We don’t do that type of work. We’re not operating in isolation that way. You need to really, first of all, understand the diagnosis of that child, what’s happening with them in school and at the home and their social interactions. And then you’re making a treatment plan. Psychopharmacology may be part of that treatment plan or may not or may be for a small amount of time. The thing is that we are doing the right intervention at the right time and the right dosage. That’s what the most critical thing and medical providers that help. But we do it in very interdisciplinary team environment. So you have the psychiatrist, you have the therapist, you have the caseworker all talking with the parents. This is in lockstep with the parent. I think that sometimes in society we think, oh, yeah, there’s a pill for that, that will be, that’s fine. That’s not really reality. And most medical providers are not trying to do that either. In all fairness to the psychiatrists I’ve known around the country and people I’ve talked to, people take that very seriously, because what we know is that some of these medications are very strong and there are long term studies around how they may impact children’s physical health. Years down the road. So people are very careful about what they prescribe.

Gabe Howard: It’s interesting to hear your perspective on it, Okpara, because you say things like psychopharmacology, and interdisciplinary team, and wrap around services, and that’s a very medical approach. And I think that is what’s happening in the field. I think that is the average way that a child is prescribed medication and services, etc. But it doesn’t quite have the umph of, oh, we’re just medicating annoying kids. And I think  that’s why that information kind of goes out there, because that’s kind of a fascinating conversation. Like, hey, your child is a pain. Let’s give him drugs. Like that that has that hook.

Okpara Rice: Yeah. I don’t want to give the impression that it’s only a very medical model, I should say it is a much more holistic model. I mean, because what the other pieces that we do in this part of our conversation are how we look at kids as you’re looking at all the social determinants of health that the CDC put out. So you understand housing, you understand employment, you understand all the societal factors that go into what happens in that household. What happens with those adults also then happens to that child. So I’m speaking from a professional standpoint that using the big words or whatever. But the reality is, I’m also a dad of a 13 year old and a 9 year old. And when I think about if my children are having challenges, what would I want them to have? And the fact that their dad is the CEO should not matter. We want kids who whose parents are not CEOs or whose parents are single parents. We have to be able to get the same quality of care and that same holistic view of that child. So there is no shortcut to proper treatment. And that’s what we have as a society. I think we’re starting to get there. I am hopeful we are getting there now that we see that the holisticness of the child again, medication is not a cure all. It’s gotta be part of a treatment continuum that involves therapy that may involve physical health. And there’s a lot of other pieces that go along with it. But we have to look at the child holistically. Otherwise we’re not really doing a service because children are not, they don’t operate in isolation. So if you’re not looking at all those pieces, you’re not going to be effective. And then no medication is going to be effective. We’re not trying to have kids who are zoned out, you know, walking around the city. That’s not productive. That’s not healthy.

Gabe Howard: There’s an interesting thing that you said there, where you said that the things that are happening to the adults in the household are happening to the children in the household. And I want to touch on that for a moment, because adults really have this idea that children are you know, they’re bullet proof from the ways of the world. They don’t have mortgages and jobs and children and all of these things. But I think if we all reflect back when mom and dad are stressed out about money that is felt and reverberated throughout the household and absolutely impacts the children. Now, it may impact them in a different way. And in fact, I think it’s reasonable to say that it absolutely impacts children in a different way. Can you sort of speak on that idea that, oh, you’re just a kid, don’t worry about it and how that needs to evolve because the kids are worried about it. But because you told them not to worry about it. That means you’re not a source of support.

Okpara Rice: Right. And I’ll say a couple of things. You know, one, first of all, anybody who’s been around any type of child knows children pick up on everything. First of all, there is nothing that seems to get past them, which is remarkable. But I must think of my own experience a little bit. You know, I grew up in a household. My father was a drug addict. My mom was very clinically depressed. And I know for a fact, when I look back on my wife, the effect that those two things had on me and what happened when you are wondering if you’re going to have a home the next day? We were homeless for a little bit. You know what that’s like? Or you don’t know what’s happened. What’s your next meal? Or when your mom can’t get out of bed for two days because she doesn’t have the strength to do that. You know, so I know what those things did to me made me think about throughout my life. I mean, those are extreme in that I would hope nobody has ever had to experience that. I know there are children who experience that every single day. And that’s the extreme. But there are small things, just the pressures of maintaining the household, the pressures around making sure there are gifts at Christmas time. That’s one of the things that my role and all the roles I’ve had that’s always so important to me, because guess what? As a parent, I know when it gets to Christmas time and how expensive toys are and people want to give their kids things. And that stress and that pressure of trying to make that happen. But God, do you pay this bill or do you go get this toy, right? You know, we try to make sure all our kids through our program get some Christmas gifts or families get some gifts. So that’s one less thing that they have to worry about. But all those pressures, of course, filter down to the child. They can feel that tension. And again, each child responds to that tension in a different way. But we have to acknowledge that tension is there. They’re not oblivious. As a matter of fact, they’re picking up on way more than you think. And sometimes it’s good just to have a conversation with your child, if they’re old enough to to have a dialogue, to make them feel reassured that, hey, things are OK, we’re going to be fine. Things may be tight right now, but this is what we’re doing. You know, you don’t have to talk to them like an adult, but acknowledge that the tension is there. That’s going to help them feel safer.

Gabe Howard: Let’s move on to when everything goes wrong. The worst case scenario, what people unfortunately think about more often than not when they think about mental illness and that’s crisis. You said that at Tanager Place, you have inpatient and outpatient services and that’s crisis treatment. Can you talk about that a little bit, how you take somebody from crisis to wellness?

Okpara Rice: Yeah, I mean, it’s again, it’s a journey because each child is different and so our children in our impatient program, they’re not able to be in their home for various reasons. So we have kids who come us who have severe depression. We have kids who may just come out of a psychiatric hospitalization. And so that journey for them is gonna look different, for each family is going to look a little bit different. You know, I don’t look at it necessarily as crisis. I think that they may have had this episodic situation, but it’s really about how do you help them avoid that situation? Go on into the future? How do you build their resilience so they don’t do any self harm or they don’t think about suicidal ideation or contemplate not being on the planet? How do you help young people do that? And there is no easy way. I wish it was an easy fix, but it’s not because each child responds to treatment in such different ways. And also what we learn now that, not what we’ve learned, but what we really acknowledges that, you know what, if you’re not helping the family at the same time, a child may be an inpatient care, that you’re really not doing quality treatment. And that is something that has absolutely moved across the country. And I think people are much more family engaged and family driven because we get that child may be with us for six months, eight months. They’re going to go back to that home. They’re gonna go back to their home community. So we not only build the resilience factors in that child, and we don’t do that in that family. And in that community, then they’re not going to be successful going back. And so I think that what we know, again, is moving away from that medical model, treat the child, treat the child, treat the child to now much more of a systematic, holistic view of that family unit. That’s what makes for good treatment. And it takes time. Unfortunately, we live in a managed care environment and insurance sometimes dictates certain things and each state is very different how that’s done. And so not only you have to have a really quality patient program. We’ve got to get also really quality community based support for that child to understand that there may be setbacks along the way. And that’s part of the journey, right? Nobody one day is like, oh, boy, I mean, you know, I’m having this episodic crisis. I’m perfectly fine. Doesn’t work that way. That’s not life. But we have to have things in that community where that child may not need that highest level of care, that most restrictive level of care.

Gabe Howard: How do the families respond to this? Because I imagine that given our limited knowledge of mental health that exists in society, when they knock on your door, they probably believe that the issue is entirely with the child. And then you’re saying, no, no, no, there’s things that you can do as well. Is there pushback on that?

Okpara Rice: Oh, sure. I mean, there’s some but, you know, really a lot of people when they come to our door, they just want help. They want help. The thought of a parent, any parent, losing their child is terrifying. They do. They want help. Look, OK. And I’m not saying it is all pie-in-the-sky, that everybody comes so open to that. It’s not necessarily true. Each treatment program is different and treatment programs unique. Each. Each family is unique. Some people are ready to engage in that change making process. Some people are ready to do some self reflection. Some people are not. It just really depends. And that’s where there are other programs that people can find that fit what their family may need. But for the most part, honest to God, I must admit, a lot of parents who are in crisis and who feel like it because they don’t want to lose their child. And our job is to help give them hope that we’re going to help be a part of this journey with you. And so a lot of people that’s it’s just hard. It’s humbling and scary. And so, again, you acknowledge that, you validate those feeling, but then you set a course of action. You set a plan together to help their child and to help their family again. If the family isn’t healthy part of that is our encouraging people to be healthy, then it’s not. Treatment is not going to be successful long term. And there are a lot of families who have themselves wound up in therapy, who seek additional things or who have had events in their past that have changed how they parent. So, again, if you’re open and you’re engaging with people, people come to you for help. And that’s the most profound thing. Once that door is open on this and they help us help this family, there are a lot of things you can do. We just have to come with the right spirit or philosophy around this. It’s not victim blaming. We don’t have people say, oh, it’s your fault, your child is struggling. It’s your fault your child has thought about committing suicide. That’s not what you do. You look at what are those factors that led to that child thinking about that? What are those stressors in that child’s life that has led them to think about that? What can we do? What are those supports you can build in? How can we build on supports for that parent as well, that even hearing that about your child is traumatic? So those are things that we do.

Gabe Howard: That’s the final thing that I want to touch on, Okpara, so many people believe that mental illness only exists in children that have bad parents more often than not bad mothers or come from broken homes or there’s just a lot of, like you said, victim blaming that the child would be fine if it wasn’t for their awful family. We know that that’s not true.

Okpara Rice: Oh, absolutely. Let’s just be straight. Children’s mental health challenges cover every socio economic spectrum. I don’t care. We have kids who come who are seen in our outpatient clinic and our inpatient programs, whose families are extremely wealthy, whose families are extremely poor, whose families are middle class. It covers every gambit. So we have to put that out. We have to just say that’s just a myth. And you know what? Even families that are very, very poor, they want the best care for their child, too. That’s the other myth that we have a society which is a whole different conversation too. Being poor doesn’t mean you don’t care about your kids. So everybody’s trying to get the best care they can. They just have limited resources that they can turn to to get that care. That’s where wealth gives you that opportunity. But better believe it, wealthy, poor, middle class, everybody has the same level of mental health struggles.

Gabe Howard: That is excellent. Okpara, thank you so much. What’s the Web site for Tanager Place if people want to check it out across the country?

Okpara Rice: You’ve got it, www.TanagerPlace.org.

Gabe Howard: Awesome, thank you so much for being on the show, we really appreciate your time and for enlightening us on all of these subjects. You’re just, you’re just awesome.

Okpara Rice: Thanks so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

Gabe Howard: You’re very welcome. And hey, everybody, do you want to interact with me on Facebook, suggest topics, comment on the show, and be the first to get updates? You can by joining our super secret Facebook group, which I’ve now said publicly at PsychCentral.com/FBshow. Have any topics but don’t have Facebook? There’s got to be one out there. E-mail us at show@PsychCentral.com, and tell us what you think. And don’t forget to review our show on whatever podcast player you found us on. Tell a friend. Thank you so much, and we will see everybody next week.

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  About The Psych Central  Podcast Host

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. He is also one of the co-hosts of the popular show, A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. As a speaker, he travels nationally and is available to make your event stand out. To work with Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

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