#these photos are so old but alas

[toothfairyfemme]

something something you can take the femme out of cowboy county but you can’t take the cowboy county out of the femme something something

[icewindandboringhorror]

I love all of these goofy product photos where the water bottle is extremely obviously just photoshopped onto a stock image of someone pretending to hold something or whatever.. very convincing..

[wigglesforonce]

have finally changed my theme and header.. will probably edit it again but im p happy w it atm

[killuaisaprincess]

It’s your girlllll the number one GK fan in the world

[arsonforcharlie]

one of the most depressing things about being an adult is that the age you start rolling reliably beautiful joints is also the age where it starts getting sad to just keep posting pictures of the weed you smoke

[loubatas]

Ô sweet, sweet pitty-patter sound of rain outside

[sonicenvy]

ok so, like in all seriousness, I need any and all of the children™ following me to know this about the internet in days of yore. So like a major precursor to scrolling through dumb posts on social media sites was chain emails. This was a formative part of my early internet social experience™.

Basically someone you were friends with sent you an email with a subject line that was something like FWD: FWD: Silly Dogs. This email almost always originated from some other person that you did not know that was sometimes even located in a different country than you. It spread like MLMs (Multi-Level Marketing Schemes) wish they could spread. The originator of the email would have sent it on blast to everyone in their address book, and many, many, many people who received it (and enjoyed the content) forwarded it everyone in their address books. Sometimes people added comments onto it. You could see the entire FWD chain, which included the email addresses of basically everyone who'd ever received this email before you. This included, again, many people that you did not know.

Some chain emails were the classic dumb "FWD this email to 10 people for xyz good thing to happen to you" or "FWD this email to 10 people in your address book or xyz bad thing will happen to you." Some of these emails were literally just a collection of funny, interesting, informative, or downright weird pictures with no sources. Some of them were "games" where you'd add something to the email chain that built on whatever the person who forwarded it to you built. Many of these emails have very similar formats to modern "reblog this post and say xyz in the tags," or "reblog this post for good luck," posts.

Here are some screenshots of one such email that I received in 2009, to give you an idea of this:

There would be, sometimes like 100+ email address blocks like the below before the actual email even started....

The above email contained 15 silly dog pictures btw. also, as was sometimes typical of such an email the end part of the email would have weird links to people's company websites that they had in their default email signatures. sometimes they had telephone #s too. Sometimes the bottom of the email just straight up had an advertising link for some kind of service that was attached to the originator's (or someone else in the chain's) email account provider because they had a free email account instead of one that they paid for. The internet was a very different place back then y'all....

As a sidenote, you used to have to PAY to have an email address with good features. When gmail beta came out in 2004 it changed the email game. It was pretty exclusive in the beginning so not a lot of people had it. By the time I got my invite and joined gmail beta 2008 it was almost to full release. That said, I didn't really start using my gmail until 2011 though because gmail still had, uh, issues at the time. Also because of the fact that I was still heavily into yahoo IM and like, yahoo answers. My email address before my gmail was an email address that my mom had bought for me when i was, like a toddler in 1999 with her dial-up internet service. I'm not sure why she bought all her VERY little kids email addresses they absolutely wouldn't be using for a few more years but there you have it. I sent my first email in 2004, which was, like fucking 20 years ago lmao. thinking today about how my first ever emails are older than a lot of kids on this site now.... fucked up because I'm not quite yet 30, so I'm like "don't let that be THAT fucking long ago..."

So yeah, uh, that's your internet history lesson for today kids.

[kisses4reid]

red tissues | ·˚ ༘ aaron hotchner ,,

summary - you get nose bleeds regularly, the alarming increase in their appearances gets aaron’s attention, especially when you wake up one day to blood covering your entire face for aaron to see.

genre - hotch x fem!reader, fluff

warnings - lots of mentions of blood, nose bleeds, mentions of being over worked, sickness

a/n - i’m going to open a permanent taglist for anyone who wants to be tagged in every criminal minds fanfiction i write, so either comment on this or make a request that you’re interested! ❤️

The office was buzzing with the sound of typing and chatting, pens being passed and chairs being adjusted. The night was surely coming, sun setting against the window panes to cast shadows onto piles of files. Your desk was dark and your pile was unfortunately much taller than everyone else’s. Funny how shooting a criminal earns punishment through 10 more files to fill out. 

But right now, all you cared about was filling your Snoopy mug with something. The coffee machine was broken by a certain muscly man, so some tea bags delivered that day were your only solace. Chamomile. Sounded tranquil enough. 

As you waited for your beverage to brew, you glanced back to your desk and then to your teammates. You should’ve taken Spencer and Emily’s offers to take some files off you, but being a perfectionist and selfless, you kindly declined. Shoulder’s slumping, you pulled the mug close to your nose and took a long smell, closing your eyes in relief. 

Suddenly, right before you could take the much needed first sip, a pang hit your head and your eyes and eyebrows ached, causing you to clench them. When you opened your eyes, the light brownish-yellow of the tea was mixing with red.

Blood. Shit. 

You swiftly turn to grab some tissues as your boss, Aaron Hotchner, was grabbing his plain mug from the top shelf, you hadn’t even noticed him in your panic. He followed you with his eyes as he grabbed a green tea packet. The tissues held against your nose were turning red and soggy. And before he could ask what had happened, you had abandoned your mug and vanished from the room, heading for the bathrooms. 

Aaron furrowed his eyebrows and noticed the discolouration in your mug, before grabbing it and washing it out for you. 

A few days later, Morgan and Reid were sat in front of you, JJ leaning on your seat’s armrest as Aaron conversed with a lawyer over the phone. Prentiss covered the basic details of the case but all you could focus on was the slight pang in your heart when you heard Aaron chuckle at whoever was talking with him. Though your eyes didn’t leave the case files, your ears were suddenly attached to your boss’ voice. 

Which was much closer, after he sat down next to you. 

You felt stupid, being happier now that his attention wasn’t on some other woman, even though his attention still wasn’t on you. He sighed as he sat, a whiff of his strong cologne circling the group as they updated him on other details they had caught. You mentally scolded yourself for acting like a 14 year old girl crushing on her teacher, but alas, you would continue.

“We noticed all of the victims went to private religious schools, most of them went to church as well. Y/n pointed out how in all of their photos, they were dressed in a conservative way - which is a contrast when we look at their ages.” Spencer started before Rossi added,

“They’re all teenagers, nearly turning 20. They all had boyfriends, and we found that one of them was already engaged.” 

You listened carefully, looking at the faces of the victims that were spread on the table, “As well as the common religious commitments, they all had one other thing in common.” You squinted your eyes with a short breath, feeling a headache approaching before you pointed something out that nobody else had noticed, “Same initials, all of them.” 

Hotch nodded, “Amy Sanders, Alice Soo, Adriana Santiago and Alexa Smith. Nice work, Y/n.” 

But before you could reject the complement and internally squeal, a throb attacked your head, and your eyes scrunched to create wrinkles you would try to massage away that night, before you threw your hand under your chin to swiftly catch a drop of blood. It was like a 6th sense these days.

“Excuse me.” You croak, leaving the back of the plane with Prentiss close behind you. You bent your head back before the raven haired woman’s hand pushed it forward. “Don’t do that, the blood might go down your throat.” 

You followed her instructions and raised any eyebrow, pinching the bridge of your nose. “My niece used to have a lot of nose bleeds whenever she had a cold.” She promptly explained as she bent to pull out tissues from the white bathroom cabinets. 

Around 5 minutes later, you and Prentiss returned to your respective seats, no one but you noticing a strong stare following you. “Are you okay, L/n?” Spencer asks, squinting in curiosity. “Yeah, sorry, sensitive nose, that’s all,” you lied.

These weren’t the first times you’ve had nose bleeds at work or around the team. There was one on your third day of work, the second time you went to a bar with Garcia, and one time on the plane around 4 months ago. You had been lucky that all your other nosebleeds happened either on the way to work or in the comfort of your own apartment. These days, when each case was followed by a heavier one, and each road trip was followed by a 10 hour flight, you were starting to get exhausted. You’re body has decided nose bleeds was the indication for you to take a fucking break.

The next week, you had almost forgotten about your unfortunate trait until a certain tall man called you into his office. “I need those finger print files done by tonight, is that alright?” He asked, smooth voice cutting through your fatigue, leaning on the front of his desk only a metre away from you.

You glanced at him up and down. He was clad in a smoke grey suit, perfectly fitted to his muscles and wide shoulders, tie loose enough to show the amount of work he had been through that morning. He smelt amazing, like wood and petichor, like metal and… “Yeah of course, sorry. I put the victims confirmed profiles on Spencer’s desk to check over before I could finalise the um…” Shit. Why did this have to happen right now?

But before you could even excuse yourself or hold a hand to your nose, a soft hand was cupped under your chin, careful not to touch you but close enough to catch droplets. Heat was radiating from the near contact, and you weren’t sure if it was because of the eye contact you were putting yourself through, or the blood that was currently pooling down your chin and into his palm. Aaron had appeared so swiftly, you wondered how he knew. “We should really get you checked out.” He said, recalling back to your third day on the job. 

“You can check- You’re right I should get… your hand is getting blood on it.” He broke your eye contact and glanced down at his palm, before taking a breath and nodding. “Right, let’s get you cleaned up.” 

His other, clean, hand is hovering over your lower back, and everyone’s eyes are hovering over the two of you, following you into the closest bathroom available. You can feel your cheeks heat up. As you pass the kitchenette, he picks up the box of tissues and you try to grab some from his hand, but instead of allowing you, he takes your wrists and holds one to your nose himself. His grip is soft, but restricting, warm. And you can’t help but look at him as he searches for an empty bathroom.

In the bathroom, he guides you to lean over the sink, washing his hands in a sink beside yours while watching you carefully. You look at him through the mirror, and you’re so distracted you almost don’t hear him tell you, “Lean forward more, don’t pinch your nose too hard.” 

You comply and he crosses his arms and leans adjacent to you. “Do you know what’s causing all these nose bleeds?” 

You thought back to shorter than 5 minutes ago and bit your lip, feeling your cheeks heat up once again. “Um, I think it was your cologne.” You glance over to him finding he was already looking into your eyes. You were embarrassed, he was your boss and you were basically insulting him. “You smell great, don’t get me wrong. My nose and I obviously have different… opinions.” 

Aaron nods with a small smirk, compelling you to look away before you say anything more. 

Thankfully, saving you from any more embarrassment, your nose stopped painting the porcelain sink reddish-orange. “Thank you for helping me, Hotch.”

Aaron returned to his computer and opened a tab, searching ‘Common causes for frequent nose bleeds’, and, ‘Ways to avoid nose bleeds’.

And the next morning, Aaron walked into the office to get his coffee (the machine had been promptly fixed after your nose bleed situation) before Morgan spoke up, “New cologne, Hotch?” 

Hotch nodded, and turned back to his coffee, pocketing some chamomile satchels to dispose of later. The comment reassured Aaron.

He wanted to be someone you could be around without risking anymore red tissues. 

Aaron placed himself next to you on the plane, the team had gone over the case six times already, and the plane flight was long. It’s always been long. You opened your mouth to greet him before he cut you off, “We can provide a doctor for you, if these nose bleeds keep happening.” 

You blink in surprise, “I’m sorry they’re inconvenient but there’s not much I can do about it.” You bit the inside of your lip, unaware that your bleeds had caused anything negative other than a decrease in tissue supplies and unwanted attention (not including Aaron’s).

“I’m not saying it’s an inconvenience to me,” he shakes his head, “They’re an inconvenience to you. I’m worried it’s because you’re overworked.” 

Oh. 

You cleared your throat and avoided eye contact.

He continues, “You get to work the earliest, stay the latest, you’re always the one travelling the furthest when we have to split up.”

A smirk appears on your face as you finally look back up at the stoic man, “Sounds like someone I know.” 

“I make time, Y/n.” 

You wrung your hands in your lap and sighed, “I’ve had this problem since I was a kid, Hotch. My longest record between nose bleeds was three months, that's only because I finally found some medication.” Aaron raised an eyebrow. “They had terrible side effects, it wasn’t worth saving some tissues. I can deal, is what I’m saying.” 

He nods and looks away in thought, that's when you allow yourself to look over his chest and arms, his posture and his… smell?

“You smell different.” “I didn’t want a repeat of yesterday.” 

You couldn’t stop thinking about Aaron Hotchner since what he said on that plane a little over five days ago. He changed his cologne, he offered to find a doctor, he listened to your reasoning. You thought he was being friendly. You wanted him to be a little bit more than that.

The plush seats and convenient seating arrangement that put you next to Aaron didn’t offer any comfort against the dry and hot weather of Nevada. If a place was your enemy, this was it. You had already concealed a small bleed in the drive over, Spencer not giving you a second look when you pretended to sneeze into a tissue. With the increased frequency, she didn’t want any useless worry. You weren’t going to take a break, so you needed to hide any signs of exhaustion as best you could. Even when the sheriff opened every window in the temporary office, JJ continued waving herself with a file, Morgan had already chugged three plastic bottles of water. Even Hotch only had a dark blue dress shirt on and damn did he look hotter than the sun. 

But even with your best techniques and play-pretends (never looking down for too long, staying hydrated, avoiding the hotter places in the precinct), an unfortunate pang hit the front of your head and travelled to your nose. Your eyes shuddered, and you started to look for a tissue, before one appeared at the bottom of your chin before blood even trickled down your top lip. 

It was Aaron holding it there, eyes on the case. 

You looked at him in surprise and awe, before you took the tissue off him and excused yourself, getting a worried look from the old sheriff. 

The tall man had learnt when you were about to get a nosebleed, a sudden stop in motion, scrunched eyebrows and eyes, stopped breathing. And as you left his line of vision, he tried not to worry about the amount of blood you would lose in this weather, and it motivated to close this case even more. 

Everyone around the table glanced at Hotch and then at each other, putting on blank faces when Hotch looked up. 

It wasn’t much better in the hotel rooms you had been given. They had aircon, and free water, but small windows, and broken fridges.

It was a relief to be able to sit on something that wasn’t covered in someone else’s sweat, even if it would be covered soon by your own. You had the coldest shower you think you’ve ever had, put on a larger t-shirt and a small pair of basketball shorts to fight against the heat during the night.

It came a surprise to you when you were blood free the entire afternoon and you counted it as good luck for the flight home, forgetting to place tissues or water on your bedside table. After denying an invitation to poker, you threw yourself onto the bed with crisp white sheets and soft pillow cases, in the direct shot of the air conditioning and only window in the room, and passed out.

There was a frantic knocking on your door, or maybe a pounding in your head. You couldn’t tell, and when you tried to investigate, you felt like your eyelids were sewn shut.

You were able to peak them open and lift yourself weakly, when suddenly a figure appeared in front of you with long blonde hair and soft hands on your shoulders.

“JJ?” Your lips felt tight.

“Jeez, Y/n. How long have you been sick?” Her voice was muffled, but as your vision became clearer so did your hearing. Hotch stopped in your open doorway, already dressed and bags dropped in the hallway, before walking in.

For a second you were going to try and stand to clean your room, realising how late it was. But as soon as you tried to stand, everything went hazy, and you could taste metal on your tongue.

“Y/n, we need to get you cleaned up.” JJ said sweetly, as if you were a child. She took your heavy arms and pulled them to the bathroom, light making your headache into a migraine.

You lifted a hand to the bone between your eyebrows, and when you took it off, it had dried blood on it. As JJ grabbed your body towel from last night and wet a corner of it, you stole a sight of your face. Your mouth and nose was covered in dry blood, some of it had travelled to your left cheek, and between your eyebrows. There was fresher blood on your chin and some even on your next.

You had a delirious thought that you had been stabbed, or you had stabbed someone, but when you looked out into the bedroom and saw Aaron taking the pillow case off of the pillow you were using, you wondered if you caused it to go from white to red overnight.

“What happened?” JJ asked, carefully placing her fingertips on the bottom of your jaw while her other hand dabbed softly at your face. You couldn’t answer, even though you had a fairly good guess. Aaron appeared in the mirror to hand JJ some pain killers, for you.

Swallowing was painful, but as your blonde friend wiped off the last bit of blood from your top lip, you looked worse than your throat felt.

“I’m sorry JJ, I could’ve cleaned myself up.”

“Don’t apologise Y/n. You worried me. You weren’t responding to your texts, not even Hotch’s,” she put the towel down and looked into your eyes with a motherly concern. “I think you need to listen to Hotch when he offers you a doctor again.”

And you nod, because she was right.

JJ left the room with a hug, leaving you with a very cross Aaron Hotchner.

“I’m-“

“You could’ve choked, or suffocated, or passed out- Actually I think you did.” He motioned towards your alarm clock that had been running since 5 a.m. “Y/n…” He looked confused, worried, sad? Your eyes hadn’t 100% cleared yet, a headache slowly throbbing, knees still slightly buckling. You wanted to lay down and be thrown into an ice bath.

“How was I supposed to know this would happen?” You croaked out.

“You’ve got one window open, cold and dry aircon on, and no water bottle on your bedside table. You should’ve asked to sleep in the same room as someone, in the same room as me.”

You looked down to your feet, only noticing now that Aaron had packed all of your things for you.

“I thought you had been…” He raked a hand through his hair and paced before placing his hands on your upper arms, “I’m going to get you to a doctor, and you can’t say no. That’s an order.”

His grip tighten only slightly, before he turned around and left with your luggage, heart beating fast in his chest.

You were back home, thank god. The air was cooler and clearer, and you didn’t feel like you needed to moisturise every two minutes. You stretched your arms above your head, squishing your eyes closed for some relief to the sting from the computer screen. Your chest expanded deeply, and your nose finally cleared. 

And when you opened your eyes, you glanced over to your boss’ office windows to see if he was still working. But he was already out of his door, looking at you. 

Butterflies played tag with each other in your stomach, a blush crossing your face and you both shot your gazes away. 

His shoes were nearly silent against the floor, but when you quickly stood to pack your shoulder bag and take the sweater off the back of your chair, Aaron was there to greet you when you turned around.

“Let me walk you out?” He asked, as if the last words he said to you weren’t full of unprofessional emotions.

You were silent for at least 3 seconds, Aaron getting worried for a second before you stumbled over your words, “Y-Yes plea- Yeah. Sure.” 

He smiled, a genuine smile. 

Side by side, his briefcase touching your shoulder bag, you made your way towards the elevator. Aaron fiddled with his fingers and felt unfamiliarly nervous, heart thumping a little harder than when he walked out of his office. 

“Thank you for everything. Caring, catching my blood. I would ask how you knew, but you are a profiler after all.” You smile softly, and he nods. “I’m glad you noticed.” He presses on the car park level in the elevator, hands coming to discreetly fidget once again. 

And you can’t take the silence, “You still smell good.” 

“You always do.” Aaron looks as surprised that he said that as you do, looking away quickly before looking up and sighing, “Tomorrow is Saturday.” 

“Yeah.”

“Do you have any plans?” 

“I have a movie I want to watch, maybe a recipe I wanna try,” you reply oblivious, shuddering at the sudden change of temperature when you both exit the elevator. Suddenly a thicker layer of fabric was draped over your shoulders, one that smelt like new cologne. You blushed, looking up at him. 

The cold breeze was pushing his hair out of place slightly, making his nose a little redder, his eyes clearer. He looked like the word handsome humanised. 

“I think that you should watch that movie and try that recipe at… my place.” 

You widened your eyes chasing any regret or embarrassment in his eyes, but all you got was nervousness, something you had rarely seen in him before. 

He is so handsome, I can’t believe this is happening, I have to tell Garcia- Can I tell Garcia? He’s my boss after all- I mean this doesn’t mean it had to be a date or anything- 

Some blood dripped onto the jacket draped over his shoulders. 

“You could’ve just said no.” He joked as you pinched your nose, smiling against the small headache. It must’ve been the last bit of blood from that morning. “No, I wanna go, I do- Just, could you get a tissue from my glovebox? I don’t want to get anymore blood on your coat.” You reply, nasally and carefully. 

“We’re definitely getting you to a doctor.” 

“Sounds like a fun first date.” 

[goldsbitch]

Right? p6

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

summary: Y/N is a photographer for McLaren F1 team. Hard working, goal oriented professional who would never put her career in jeopardy for some stupid crush, right?

warning: smut

Life in formula was a fast one. But alas, there was finally a moment where a date had been set for your first official date indoors. Two week break between races provided a nice opportunity.

You were based in the UK, but one little Monaco trip didn't hurt anyone, right? No hotel room. Zero back up plan. It was strange how complicated it was for you two to get a moment for each other. You were not even sure what make of this little crush. Whatever. In the end it was a nice little trip.

So there you were, standing in front of an address he shared with you - casual elegant outfit, newly done hair and just a little bit of more than you got to do during busy work days. It was more for yourself than for Lando really. Everyone likes to feel like the it girl sometimes, right? This whole affair was a nice detour from the goal oriented life you lead every day.

There you were, standing in the open kitchen in Lando Norris's apartment. You could care less where the two of you were - as long as there we no prying eyes and you could look at each other with lust in your eyes without needing to hide anything. Teenage hormones overtaking the adult brains within milliseconds.

The looks. The random touches. The abnormal proximity. Nobody to hide from.

He ordered take out, as cooking was not a thing any one of you found to be interesting. He had obviously made some touch ups to the place, dimmed lights and all cleaned up, he had a nice elegant shirt on and the kind of messy hair that screamed "I actually spent an alarming amount of time on it". Both of you playing a little game, as if fooling each other was even an option at this point. Light innocent conversation felt like a like dance - who is going to break the rules first?

"Mr. Norris, this is all very nice," you pointed out, "but I believe we are here to review some photos."

He took a napkin to clean up his face and played the game along. "Oh, silly old me. Must have forgotten. Of course. To the screening room."

The two of you got up from the table, Lando's hand on your lower back and his cologne hitting you in the face in the best way possible. Oh why, oh why, why were you getting into this mess? You wanted to be taken into his arms like a naughty teenager kissing her classmate for the first time. Letting him guide you into pleasure. You finally explored how his skin covered his perfect face structure, there was nothing hiding his features. And unlike with your pictures, you could actually see how his jaw moved when he spoke, especially with the perfect light hitting him now. He got you. He understood your need to aesthetics. You could take a photo of his right there. Preferably without clothes hiding his body.

He turned his projector on. This was all part of the cat and mouse game.

"I need to see the pictures you have first. You owe it to me at this point."

He closed the distance between the two of you, looked you deep in the eyes, his blueish greenish ones filled with a need and after long minutes spent with a dinner, that none you actually wanted, he kissed you. Differently that ever before. This was tender, not slow, but somehow free. His soft lips caressed yours and you could have melted right then and there. Only then you understood why all the singers praised the first kiss - this felt like one. He was not afraid to explore, to observe your reaction and feel proud for making you feel that way. He was speaking to you in a language only touch could understand and his words were loud and clear - I want you. And there was absolutely no way either one you would wait a minute longer. Not after how he touched you at the gala. Not after all the meeting he had to sit with his dirty thoughts making it impossible for his to concentrate. Not after all the night you wished he was on top of you. Not after how you mesmerised him while taking photos of him. His hands grabbed your waist firmly, wrincling your dress and sending thunders through your body. You grabbed his hair, pushing him even closer, as it that was even possible. If desire was a color, there would be no other color present in the whole city. Your bodies seemed to understand each other, there were zero thoughts going into your movements. You roamed around his shoulders, he wandered off to touch your ass and slowly started to pushing you towards the couch. You never felt anything as comftable as this specific couch - but one would say it was Lando's body pressing on top of your that was the selling point. His chest touching your boobs, his waist pressed on your and you could feel his erect dick begging to be touched too. Hot blood flowing inside both of your bodies. You started working on unbuttoning his shirt and he smiled into your kiss, not having parted your lips since he first locked them with his. You knew he wanted to say something, so you stopped him by biting his lip and sticking your tongue into his mouth. All bets were off tonight, you both knew why you were there. So he helped you with his shirt, the with a swift motion got you out of your dress before you could even notice, and started working on his pants. It was all very quick, passionate and hard. This is not how you're suppose to be acting towards your team driver. You're not suppose to be fucking him. You're not suppose to be stroking his dick. Oh, but how good it felt to hold him in your hand. Finally, right? It will just be this one time, right? But if it was just this one time, you'd make it a good one. You didn't even know when he stuck his fingers into you, because they felt so natural, you might have thought they were always supposed to be there. Oh, but it felt good - so good - too good. You could have gotten of just with his light motion, but that was not in his plan for tonight. He watched you, being totally present in that moment, right there and then, and he got drunk on the way your body reacted to his actions. When he knew you were more than ready, he finally entered you and one could write a single chapter on how exctatic that felt to him. You were quickly put into some sort of trance, cause by his motion. It was like being on a different planet. In that moment the only thought you could gather was why the fuck did you ever had sex before meeting him and if your previous experiences could even count as such. You got locked in the moment, focusing only on his moves, closed eyes and having touch as the only source of your sensory receptors. He on the other hand let your soft moans in to get him going, moans that only seemed to get louder and higher with every minute that he fucked you. He moved faster, than slower, than faster again. He wanted to try different positions with your, but he wanted to take this view of you bounding under him, to his memory so desperately that he did not dare to endanger the moment you two had.

It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. Time stopped being a reliable way to measure this moment. You came twice, he pulled out and came all over your chest. The two of you laid next to each to other, as much as the couch allowed, trying to catch your breath. There was only one thought on your mind. Fuck. How were you suppose to walk past him now?

You both were riding the pleasure high for few moments. Hearts slowing down, taking in what just happened after weeks of built up tension.

You stayed naked in each others embrace. You traced Lando's freckles, creating shapes and constellations. He was way less subtle and focused on light touches of your nipples. It felt fragile, tender and intimate. Pure contrast to the vibe you had just minutes prior.

"I know it's not ideal," he spoke softly. You froze, not knowing where he was heading with this. He noticed and continued immediately. "Not ideal because of McLaren and stuff." You nodded, not wanting to continue this conversation. But he did. "However...I am having a nice time. And I hope you're too," he waited for your answer, which only came in a nod. He gave you a weak smile. You just didn't feel safe yet and he understood. He leaned in to kiss you - at least that what you were expecting. Instead he stopped right before your lips and whispered. "I was promised some super secret photos, wasn't I?" You smiled, happy that the tension got broken again. Flirty was something you knew how to do with him. "Only if you show me yours too, sweetie." "Oh, I am so ready to dwell into the beauty the two of us are," he sighed and finally kissed you.

part 7

_______________________

@i-wish-this-was-me @lqvesoph @ophcelia @noneofyourfbusinessworld

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile I

Pairing: Alastor x Female!Reader

Next Chapter ->

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: It's going to turn dark very quickly, but let's enjoy childhood innocence heh... It's my first time writing for Alastor so I hope I'll do him justice.

“ Do you promise to be a good girl, love?”

You gave your mother a beaming smile while she was doing your hair in front of her vanity. You were trying not to bounce with excitement , your parents have decided to move to New Orleans, in Louisiana,  thanks to your dad's new job. Your mother was born there and she was talking about a friend that she couldn’t wait to meet again! 

You couldn’t help being happy to see your mother so cheerful, even more so when she told you that this particularly cherished friend of hers had a child around your age!  You had to say goodbye to your playfellows in your old country so you were eager to make new friends here.

Once your mother finished styling your hair, you jumped off the chair and gave a little twirl in your new dress, making your mother laugh. She took you in her arms and kissed you on both cheeks as you giggled. You turned your head towards the door as your father came in with a tired smile. He went to kiss your mother then yourself on your forehead.

“ Are the most beautiful ladies in town ready ?”

You blinked as you looked at the trees surrounding the house that you were walking toward. Your mother held your hand while chatting eagerly with your father who had a fond gaze as he was admiring her. She stopped once she saw the door open and a black woman ran toward her, your step on the side as she gave a crushing hug to the lady. 

You tilted your head, watching your mother’s friend. She had a beautiful smile, dark hair held in a bun with a red ribbon and eyes that looked like they were made of chocolate.

“ Oh , I’m so happy to meet you again Marie! Look at you, glowing like the sun! But where are my manners? You already know my husband of course, but let me introduce you to my sweet little girl !” Your mother exclaimed as she pushed you toward the lady who smiled widely as she set her gaze on you. 

She crouched before you and kissed you on both cheeks just after you introduced yourself. You blinked, confused but the lady explained it was a french custom called “ La bise.” 

“ Oh dear, you are just the cutest ! Please do come inside, I’ll call my son so you two can play together !” Marie said as she clapped her hands together, inviting you to enter the house. 

You bounced into the house, excited to finally meet your future friend, what kind of game will you play? Tag? Hide and Seek? You were unbeatable in those games. Nobody could catch you, you were like the wind, untouchable, uncaged… You look around the living room, as the adults did their things, and look at a picture: it was obviously Marie with a man and a little boy. You took the photo carefully and examined it, the boy had a wide smile, similar to Marie’s,he had glasses on. He looked small–

“  Do you not know that it is rather rude to touch others' belongings?”

You squeaked and turned around to find the boy in the picture in front of you, the photo hidden behind your back. His arms were folded in front of his torso, one eyebrow raised up with a closed smile and eyes staring at you, unlike the photo he wasn’t wearing glasses and his skin was almost …caramel like? He was a tad smaller than you…Wait, what did he say?

“And it is rude to come unannounced behind a lady!” you replied making yourself even taller than the boy in front of you. It was embarrassing being catched red handed like that! He tilted his head, never losing his smile.

“ I see no lady.”

“ What-”

“ Alastor, mon coeur, there you are !” Marie came into the living room with your mother, smiling. She kissed the boy's forehead and looked at you. “ This is my son, Alastor, he is nine years old. Bébé, I hope you were polite and said hi.” You saw the boy- Alastor's smile twitched a little as he looked at his mother. You were going to show him that you knew your manners, you were not rude! You kissed him on both cheeks just like his mother did to you a few minutes ago. You took a step back to introduce yourself  but you saw him looking at you, eyes wide open, his smile frozen and… was his cheeks-

“ Oh, excuse my daughter ! Sweetie, you don’t just randomly kiss boys like that!” your mother said as she apologized to Marie who was just laughing, commenting on how cute you were. Dang it, did it make you ruder to Alastor’s eyes ? As both of your mothers went into the kitchen Alastor walked closer to you, his face way too close!

“ It’s rude to look at someone face this close!”

“I need to be close to see when I’m not wearing my glasses, if not, everything is… Blurry. So I'm not rude… ” He said with a polite smile, taking a step back from you. Maybe you judged him too quickly, he didn’t know what you were doing with the photo, when he said that he saw no lady, maybe it was because he couldn't see so–“ But now that I have seen you up close I can clearly say… I see no lady.”

“ You–!”

“ Kids, time to eat !”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 You stared at Alastor as everyone was enjoying the food - which was delicious -, he was smiling as he answered your parents' question or even helped his mother. You were a good girl, no question asked here… But this boy, saying you were rude… You were just curious and bored! You watched as your mother asked Alastor what he liked to do. As he opened his mouth to answer you fake a sneeze and hit him in the shin with your shoes. 

You looked up to see Alastor staring at you with a wide smile. You waved at him, apologizing, smiling sweetly.

“ You have such a polite daughter!” Marie said as she patted your head.You beamed at Alastor, take that! You opened your mouth to say a heartfelt thank you but Alastor kicked you in the same place that you did. Your knee flinched, hitting the table making your glass fall, the water inside it wetting the table. You panicked as you said sorry trying to prevent the water from falling on the floor.

“ Excuses accepted !”

You looked up to Alastor's voice, as he gave you a big smile before drinking from his glass as the adults laughed at his answer to your panicking apologies. You were fuming, it was your moment! The adults were giving you their attention, their compliment, you were making your parents proud but he stole it from you, so easily !  

“ Why don’t you both go play outside ? We will call you when the desert is ready.”

Alastor stood up from his chair, smiling at you. “ I know many games we could play.” You nodded and followed him outside.

As soon as you were out of the house you tried to kick him but he avoided it so smoothly you just stared at him in shock. He looked at you with a beaming smile.

“ So unladylike.” 

“ You know what, we’re going to play games, and you should go wear your glasses because you won’t see my victory coming!” You said, stomping your foot on the floor, your fist clenching.

“ I don’t need to see something that will never come.” he chuckled as you stuck your tongue at him, he couldn’t even see you properly so who cares. You stopped as you saw a swing attached to a big tree. You ran toward it with an excited smile, it’s been so long since you saw one! You sat on it and began to swing, higher and higher. You closed your eyes as you tilted your head backward, bending your back toward the grass.

“ Jump.”

You blinked and dug your feet into the ground, dirtying your shoes in doing so. You looked at Alastor who was in front of you.

“ I beg your pardon?”

“ No need to beg “ what a smartass “ When you reach the highest spot in the air, jump.”

“ And why should I do this ? I could hurt myself and dirty my dress !”

“ Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were scared, my mistake.” he said, looking bored still smiling. You didn’t know why, but you didn’t like this expression on his face, even more that it was destined to you. You squeezed the swing’s ropes.

“ Don’t stay in my way, I’m doing it.” You watched as his face wore an expression of surprise. He stood on the side as you went higher and higher. You had a weird feeling in your stomach as you looked at the ground underneath you as you prepared yourself to let go of the ropes and jump… You looked at Alastor who was watching curiously, you knew he didn’t trust you to actually do it. Well, maybe he saw you as rude, but he will not see you as a coward ! 

You let go of the rope and jumped.

It felt like time had slowed down, you felt like floating for a short moment, you could feel a warm feeling in your body before dropping to the floor on your hands and knees. You didn’t move, even when you heard Alastor’s step stopping next to you. It felt.. good ! You stood up excitedly.

“ Wow! Did you see that Alastor ! I did it ! Haha ! That was super amazing !” you said, jumping around while clapping your hands together. You turned to him, pointing your finger in his direction. “ Now it’s my turn to find a game!” Alastor nodded, still smiling, waiting patiently for your instruction. You looked at the tree and grinned. “ Climb that tree without falling!” He looked up at the tree than at you, shrugged and began climbing. 

You looked at him as he climbed the tree easily, sitting in a branch, smug.

“ I should thank you, now that I’m here, I don’t have to see your face.”

“ My face is pretty !”

“ Pretty ugly.”

“ Alastor !”

You played all afternoon together, laughing and teasing each other. You laid on the grass, trying to catch your breath as Alastor was sitting next to you, out of breath too. You stared at him and grinned 

“ I have another game… Ready?” He nodded as you sat up. “ You need to put your hands on the other person’s face and tell a secret.” He raised one eyebrow, his smile twitching. “ For example!” you placed your hands in front of his eyes, making him more blind than he already was. “ I… I had a great time with you.” You kept your hand on his eyes, smiling. “ And when I take off my hand, it’s like you've never heard anything.” 

You took off your hands as he nodded slowly. He stared at you and looked away “ Do you know another game?” You blinked, a pang of disappointment in your heart, didn’t Alastor have a great time with you..? You looked at him, biting your lips. 

“ We can play.. Hide and Seek..?” Alastor turned his eyes toward you with a glint. “ But without your glasses I don’t know if you would be able to catch me..” you sighed but he stood up, excitedly. 

“ No worry, go hide, I’ll come find you.”

You were hiding behind a tree, not because you didn’t find a better hiding spot, but because you were sure of your skills and Alastor was blind as a bat. If he happened to see you, you would just run out of his… vision perimeter. And furthermore, you wanted to see him look for you and fail to find you. You were still hurt that he didn’t tell you a secret like you did, so you wanted to win this last game before going home. 

You smiled as you saw him walking towards the bushes. You put your hands on your mouth, trying to stifle your giggles. You were going to have so much fun. He wasn’t in much hurry, and you were beginning to be reckless. It was becoming boring… you looked at the orange sky, it was going to be night time soon…You closed your eyes. Should you claim your victory before Alastor lost himself in the dark woods? Yes, it would be the safest–

“ Found you.”

You opened your eyes and saw Alastor face above your face with a big smile. As his hand came toward you to catch you,claiming his victory, you ran. You looked behind you as Alastor gathered himself, he seemed shocked about your reaction, but he was soon running after you. You couldn’t help but laugh as you ran toward the house, you felt free knowing that he could never catch you.You saw your parents outside and stopped once you were near your mother and turned toward Alastor with a beaming grin.

“ I won. You found me, but didn’t catch me.” you said, out of breath.

“ It’s a tie then..” He sighed with a knowing smile as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“ I’m happy that you both had a grand time. Look at your clothes, sweetie…”Your mother tried to wipe some dirt from your dress but she couldn't do anything about it. “ We have to go sweetie. Say your goodbye.”

 You felt a pang of sadness as you realised your parents were ready to leave. You walked toward Alastor, pouting.

“ Well.. Goodbye…” You looked at the floor, tears in your eyes. You didn't want to go, you had so much fun with Alastor. You flinched when you felt his hands covering your eyes.

“ I had fun and… you are pretty.” You froze as he kept his hands on your eyes. You wanted to see if he was still smiling, or.. was he teasing you… But the rules of the game are clear. You will not talk about it even if you wanted it badly. Maybe you could arrange some other rules?

You opened your eyes once you felt his hands moving from your face. Alastor was already next to his mother. Marie kissed your cheeks, promising that you could come whenever you wanted. You felt a feeling of relief knowing that it wasn’t the last time you could play with Alastor.  You waved goodbye to Alastor and Marie before going home.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After your bath you chatted with your mother about your afternoon with your new friend.

“ He can’t see from up close ! I hope he will wear his glasses next time” you said as your mother put you to bed. She tilted her head, confused.

“ Alastor can see up close perfectly fine darling, he has some problems seeing far away but it’s mostly when he is tired. So, don't worry too much.” she kissed your forehead, wished you goodnight and left.

He can clearly see up close…

He can…

You screamed his name with anger in your pillow. It wasn’t a tie and he knew it. He won the game! You could almost hear his giggles! Next time you see him, you’ll show him!

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned who is the most accidentally famous person ever

Imagine you're a regular 70 year old Hungarian guy, who, after a satisfactory career as an electrical engineer, has finally retired and is spending his days in peace. I know I'm asking you to get bored even in your imagination but bear with me. It's about to get fun…

So this one day, some photographer, who happened to see a picture of you vacationing, on a social media site, approaches you for a photo shoot and you comply, because there's nothing much to do.

You then proceed to upload some of your photos on Google, to see how stock photos work…

..and who uses it. (Uh oh) Because now, things start escalating…

While you're sitting in your home, punctually maintaining your routine of getting bored, there's some random guy on some random part of the world, who looks at your stock photo and finds immense potential in it, in your face, in your smile. (And no, he's not gay)

The potential for the next revolutionary meme. He posts it on Facepunch.

And fortunately for him (unfortunately for you), the meme clicks. So much so, that a Facebook page called “Maurice”, springs up, which gets 10k likes in no time.

When you first see your meme, you find it offensive, but there's nothing you can do about it, so you let it go (thinking that it'll die soon). But you duly warn your acquaintances to be more wary the next time they upload their photos on the internet.

But alas, you're already on your way to the list the most famous memes of all time. There are people on 4chan, who, in a thread dedicated just for you, start theorising that you must be some sad old man who has to work as a stock photography model. Then, an Imgur user goes on to compile notable quotes from the above 4chan thread into a gallery post titled “Hide-the-pain-Harold”, which garners more than 8,80,000 views in just three weeks.

You are now a classic meme template.

Eventually, you decide to publicly recognise yourself on a Russian social media site called “VK”.

You transcend from being bits on the Internet, to actual prints on a coffee mug, on a skirt! Documentaries are made, and articles are published about you. There's a random Quora user who nominates you as one of the most accidentally famous person from Hungary.

People start recognising you on streets. Some of them now want to get a picture taken with you. You're a celebrity for wrong reasons. After having lived 70 peaceful years as a harmless guy, you've become world famous - as a painter, as a singer, as whatever the next notorious meme maker wants you to be.

You are Arató András, the meme guy. Every single time a stranger recognises you, you acknowledge it with a smile, but there's an inevitable pain which just cannot be hidden.

So you smile like this,

I feel your pain Harold.

Hide your pain, Harold.

[factual-fantasy]

23 asks! Thanks a bunch! :}} 🌠

@mimiocto

She does! Her name is Gloria :))

And if my motivation and health stays in my favor.. ya'll will learn a bit more about her and Bonnie soon... 👀👀👀

(Referencing this post)

The secret 9th eeveeloution, ghost type! <XD

@octonauts16

....Whelp, guess I'm canceling my Netflix account! <XD

(Monopoly post in question)

It was mostly a joke, XDD but none the less I'm sure no one would have taken it too much to heart! Its well known that Grim and V have a very strong bond so no one would have been surprised XDD

@candyglumboy

Thank you so much!! :DDD

AAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD I'm glad!! :}}}

(Comic in question)

YOU!!! YOU GET IT!!!! WAHAAG THABK YOU!!! 😭😭💖💖💞

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDDD💞

I just slap the watermark on the drawing as its own layer and lower the opacity :00 usually putting a back blob cloud behind it at lower opacity if more visibility is needed!

....If that made any sense at all--

@userplaysminecraft

This is amongst the highest compliments my fanart can receive. Thank you 🥺🥺🥺

:DD Thank you so much!! I'm glad you love it!! :}}

@minnesotamedic186

Alas, I do not have a good tablet or stylus.. :((

But that's ok! I think I'm getting better! <:D .. I hope so at least! <:}}

@holly-opal

I haven't really ironed it out yet.. but one thing stays consistent. It sucked.

I wanted to create a situation where Mario and Luigi both did not want to go back to Earth. Sure there are things that would undoubtedly bother them a bit that I couldn't just whisk away. Never seeing another human again, never seeing any animals again.. Never hearing human songs again.. never tasting the food from Earth again..

But what I could do is make their old lives so horrible, that they were both willing to give up what they had for this new life as the "Hero's of Legend."

I pictured Mario and Luigi both being very poor. Just barely making it paycheck to paycheck. No friends, no family. No sentimentals even. Perhaps their childhood home burnt down.. so no family photo albums or old plushies to be attached to..

I couldn't decide what kind of relationship they had with their parents.. but either way, they've passed on. They worked a crappy job as plumbers which they both hated. They lived in a cruddy apartment that was too small for them. Rotten neighbors, disrespectful customers..

I pictured them having this terrible company van or truck that always broke down and stunk of cigarettes thanks to the previous owner. They were drowning in debt and bills. Trynna pay off the van, trynna buy new clothes, trynna by food...

I even imagined some of their bills and debt were medical related. I imagined Luigi being very ill and them being unable to afford food and medicine.. So Mario stole food from his clients. Maybe even robed a store or two. Now they've got "criminal" added to their list of problems.

They hated their apartment. They hated the van, they hated their neighbors, they hated people, they hated the world. They hated their lives. The only thing they had the room in their hearts to love was each other. The only thing that didn't hurt them or make them cry was each other. The only thing that made living in this horrible world worth it, was each other.

Then the mushroom kingdom came along.. "Hero's of Legend?" Magical powers? Kind people who care about us and respect us? No more debt, no more bills, no more van or apartment, no more stealing, just.. adventure. And they get to experience it all with their most favorite person in the world?

Why would they ever want to go back?

@raven-bearden-the-interviewer42

Alas, I do not know of any. :((( But I can imagine that the crew is nerdy enough to make their own shanty! A theme song of sorts. And you can bet that Seafoam would take pride in that song and sing it loudly with the rest of the crew! XD

@neo-metalscottic (100,000 reblogs post in question) (Octo clarification post)

Awe! That's so kind! Thank you!! :DD And I've been very glad to see my condition improve too 😌 though I'm not quite out of the thick of it yet.. :(( I hope I can fully beat it soon! <:))

As for the Great green toad king and company, I have actually never heard of them before! <:0 Though it would be very easy to label them as some far off kingdom and not put much thought into it <XDD Perhaps some of the species found in that kingdom could have become wandering travelers like Wario and Waluigi? Maybe we'd see them that way? :00

Now I know mentioning Birdo was a joke XDD But I do have plans for the Birdo species! :00

I had this idea that Yoshi's used to be smaller, about the same size they are in canon. Back then they acted as these passive.. almost farm like animals..?? In a way?? The toads used them to haul carts and as a form of transportation. Like horses! But eventually the Yoshis discovered "Yoshis island". A fruitful island planted in the middle if a giant river. A large sum of the Yoshis migrated from the forest and began to live there. Eating the super fruits and veggies it produced and slowly transforming into the giant mega Yoshis that are there today.

However, not all the Yoshi's left. A fair amount of them were kept and somehow made their way to the coast near Daisy's Kingdom. After generations and generations of Yoshi's eating red cheep cheeps and living in the water, they transformed and are now called Birdos. In present day Yoshi's and Birdos are extremely closely related, though they look a bit different from each other. And while Yoshi's come in all different colors, most Birdos grow up to be different shades of red, Pink and purple due to their red cheep cheep diet. Just like flamingos! :D

Anyways- on to the Goombas. The Goombas start out as these very poisonous brown mushrooms and are brought to life by Kamek. They form mouths and the poison that they originally had becomes poisonous saliva. So when they bite someone the poison does its job.. Even if who ever they bite is somehow immune to their poison, their bites are still nasty. They're dirty creatures and they really shred you up.. So the chance of natural infection is there none the less-

And WHAAAT?? Illumination whyyyyyyy 😭😭I love Toadsworth you had no right to scrap him--

And wow! That last battle looks crazy! My only question is who's this guy?? <XDD I don't recognize him!

Anywho- thanks again for the ask! Feel free to send more Mario ones, or not, which ever you please! I'd love to read what ever you may send :}}}

8 0 0 0 P A G E S ? ? ?

@pink088

That is the most cursed creature I have ever seen- XDD

I wanna say Louis has the most wins, buuuttttt Seafoam is so much bigger than Louis.. I feel like he would have the ability to overthrow him just by using his own body weight XDD Its hard to say!

(Ask was sent in response to this post)

SKSKKDJH ACTUALLY THO XDDDD

Oh- in order to make these ask posts I take screenshots of the asks, crop them, and then compile them all together. Usually I put them together on Tumblr desktop, so they're all blue.

But recently I've been batting some health problems and have been stuck on the couch all day.. which means that I've been making my ask posts on Tumblr mobile. Which is all black themed for me :00

Aw, thank you! Though I advice eating it with a spoon actually! In order to scoop up the tears of the characters- XDD

@caronaro-flipaclip

:0 Sponchbop! :DD Its hard to feel down with him around!

@beryl-shade

I have written many stories where characters have lost family or friends to death... but as for a character that was in the main story and I actually drew them? ..Not that I can recall! :0

[six-eyed-samurai]

AGAIN AND AGAIN - A REINCARNATION AU

Help, what have I done? Sorry if this doesn't fit the characters, I was writing it sleep deprived and as neutral as possible. Support me and my poetry (that I came up with in the shower)

Heavens blessed me with you

The Knight, who when your parents announced you would marry you off to some elderly Lord, kept true to his word and took you away, escaping into the clashing colors of freedom and love in another kingdom far, far away, only for your world to darken into black and white once more when your enraged parents caught up and had him executed; it was now your turn to keep your side of the oath and join him in the afterlife when you drank the poisoned chalice.

In every rebirth

The Roman General who passed by you, lashing out any "potential buyer" when he walked disgusted through the slave market - he bought you freedom and yet somehow you stayed with him forever willingly cuffed by shackles of affection...until he died of an assassination and you were hung for having an "affair" with someone of higher class, but not before you both screamed to whatever god that would listen to come back to each other once more.

I promise I'll find you

The Baker who's never cared a penny about the other air headed girls from his small British village until you, a young noble lady recently moved into the old Baskerville Manor, turned up requesting his help in setting a banquet. Excuses after excuses pile up from both sides in an attempt to extend your brief time together but soon, oh, too soon, you leave as per your family's orders and he's left to wonder how you're doing now, because after years and years of searching they refused to let him in.

Through tears, death, dreams and mirth

The White American who finds you working day in day out at the laundry lady's for little to no pay, so from his not so small tips grew to slipping love letters through the pockets of his clothes, but soon you're fired and bade to leave for your skin colour and he's still bitterly cursing the townspeople for their blind racism.

And I know it's just a gamble

The Hockey player who grins at you who always shows up to his games in every match until he asks you out on an ice skating date, but alas, how could he have known that the day you finally showed up in his jersey, much to his delight, would be the day a crazed fan clubbed you on the head with his own hockey stick, much to your doom? He left the industry as cold as the rink.

Unfair, repeated roll of dice

The F1 Racer who whines about the most ridiculous problems happening to his car and making bad impressions of the other drivers just to see his beloved mechanic even crack a smile - no oil or dirt stained on you could ever dim that brilliant smile when you both went on a joyride together into the sunset...oh, wait, his death on the track did.

But in this temporary, fleeting

The Roommate who knows exactly what you want for breakfast every morning, and soon it spiraled into having a meal together for lunch and dinner too, especially when he added candles and rose petals! You still make your coffee the same way he did even after your studies took you abroad and both of you decided it was for the best to break up.

Moment in fast ending time

The Landlord who did NOT expect such a cute little you to move on when he decided to make a little cash on the side renting out his spare room...never mind, it's still on rent because now you've moved into his room. He managed to save your photo album from the charred remains of your house though...although he couldn't save you.

Tell me, oh tell me

The Drug dealer who just recently entered your big brother's gang, who protected you with his scrawny body every time any sexually frustrated asshole came to harass you. Your declarations of love didn't come in heartfelt words or gifts but a smoked joint with each other. You both didn't get delusional, because why should you when your fantasies were right in front? It was the same when you overdosed after someone ratted him out and sent him to a life sentence in prison.

Darling love of mine

The Mafioso who charms you with his suave words and cool under fire attitude, causing you to giggle and kick your feet whenever he came back to your door with flirtations and blood on his face from those who disrespected the mob boss's goddaughter. It was the classic romantic Italian dinner when he got down one one knee...except for the part when his rivals arrived to gun him down and you're left staring at his broken body and shattered ring.

You're just as lost

The Neighbour who had no idea the babysitter for the kids next door would be so goddamned FINE - if only he hadn't fumbled and stumbled over his words in the elevator! But that's alright, even little Ray and Katie are rooting for him and you! Your first date might not be fancy, but he was more starstruck in awe of you than he was of the night sky as you sat on top of the roof.

In paradise

"I feel like I've know you all my life."

"In every lifetime?"

"Maybe!"

And somewhere deep inside, you both knew it for certain: the endless cycles of pain were finally broken.

"I'm so glad of whatever karma that I did in my previous life got me to meet you!"

"You better continue it in this life so I can see you in the next one!"

Not karma, actually, but a series of broken promises finally repaired.

***

Sukuna, Giyuu, Kokushibo, Gojo, Takemitchy, Mikey, Ranpo, Nikolai, Kirishima, Hawks, Kakashi, Nishinoya, Kuroo, Toji, Kazutora, Nanami, Eren Yeager, Gyutaro, Kunikida, Zuko, Yuta, Inumaki, Levi, your favourites!

[louisisalarrie]

ALRIGHT SO I was reminded of this today by a lovely mutual when we were discussing the crazy times of early larry. This… well… this was a great time to be in the fandom. It was chaos. I’ll link the original post I found of this back on my blog from 2013 as well, but I want to add my commentary throughout this post just to explain to all you newer larries what the HELL happened here (and that original post is missing one VERY important picture…)

So… if you think we are excellent detectives now, back then we were constantly finding things because there were so many things happening. The boys and their mothers used Twitter as a place to openly chat and talk shit and Jay and Anne were always tweeting each other about larry and everything… but, these tweets were still in the public eye. It just was a different time, and larrry content was still high on Twitter.

However, there were many more platforms available that the boys could use without being directly in the fandom’s eye. This included Pinterest / Blogspot.

Now, we only ever found Harry’s, and we searched for the other boys ones but couldn’t find anything and I doubt they had them. It was very on brand for Harry to have a Pinterest, so, let’s have a little look, shall we?

I screenshotted the first picture below today. This is Harry’s blogger account. This is still up, although the account hasn’t been active since 2013.

The below photo is from the original post about this whole Pinterest thing. We all clicked on it. It was verified and I saw it with my own eyes. It’s not photoshopped

So anyway, let’s start with his blog before we jump into Pinterest. His blog is adorable! There are more articles than just the one below (screenshot taken today, the link to this blog is here)

So anyway, back in the day, he really didn’t receive many comments or anything. It was a pretty quiet little blog, that sadly, didn’t last that long.

So let’s have a squiz at his Pinterest, shall we?

It was lovely to find his Pinterest. Seeing all the things that he liked, that sparked joy for him… it was truly lovely and such a cool way to connect to our boy. Obviously, by the follower count, it was a little more well known when this screenshot above was taken. However… the earlier screenshots from his Pinterest were a… a time to be alive. When we first found it, we went through his boards, and some photos he’d uploaded and pinned. Have a look…

And so… we were all kind of like okay. Wow. What if this is really him? But…. There’s nothing proving it’s him. And then, we got this photo (which I never see floating around anymore, and we hadn’t seen it prior to this). AHEM WHAT IS THIS SIR THIS WAS TRULY WILD

We lost our minds. There was so much stuff on his profile, a picture of a curly haired kid in suspenders, a lot of pride and larry and Louis stuff in a folder called “be happy”, but alas, the mobile app will only let me post 10 pics. But, there was also this little cheeky dig at you know who, which I loooooove

And oh!!! Remember louis’ black tie 21st that Harry threw??? THIS was one of his boards before Louis had turned 21. There was no way a fan guessed he’d be having a black tie 21st.

BUT everything Louis related, whether it be his 21st or that chihuahua or the photo of them together, got deleted soon after we found it. Obviously we freaked out, tumblr had a meltdown, we had some pretty solid larry evidence on our hands. But the old stuff and anything related to Louis or Harry’s sexuality, got deleted and Harry continued to use it for a little while after. Then, the whole acct was deleted. Which… interesting… why would you bother deleting the whole acct? There wasn’t just larry stuff, there was a heap of things that Harry shared and pinned and loved and it was really cool. Would have been a nice little archive. But the larry evidence was too strong. So it got deleted and we only have screenshots, unfortunately.

But, I can assure you, we all clicked on that Pinterest link and we all saw it with our own eyes. It was verified. It was him. This was real. I scrolled through all of those photos. We also found a tumblr very similar, under the same username, but it disappeared around the same time too.

However, the blog didn’t have anything larry on it, so it’s still up. But yeah. There you have it. Some more larry lore that I forgot about until today. Hehe. Original post with some more commentary from my tumblr in 2013 here

[clown-owo]

ok so sorry but this has been haunting me ever since i finished the tutorial. mild side order spoilers under the cut!

and i have to talk about it. Marina's wallpaper. This one

look at the outfit. we've never seen this outfit for pearl before. at first glance the colors look like the final fest outfit, which matches up with the first dev log being about the final fest, but nothing else matches.

pearl's tank top is baggy, she has a chain, she doesn't have makeup or gloves, and the crown is COMPLETELY different.

so my next thought, of course, was "maybe this is an OLD picture of Pearl, Marina seems like the type to keep an old photo as her wallpaper" so i went back to the art of ＃$@%* Dudes Be ＃$@%* Sleepin,

which is a lot closer! no gloves, a chain, and a black tank top. But, this pearl also has piercings and also, again. the crown is different.

Every other pearl costume matches even less. She's usually in white.

so, i decided to look closer at the actual image. see what i could deduce.

interestingly. she's wearing rings.

one on her right hand ring finger. however, its her right hand and there's another ring on her pinky. but still interesting to note. especially as its not symmetrical (we can see her pinky on the other hand) and not something pearl typically wears, even in her youth. (the other young pearl render shows the chain in more detail, but also has her wearing gloves)

which. speaking of that chain. lets take another gander at it, why don't we?

oh, interesting! it has two pendants. but. oh! huh! wow. the one on top. we've seen that before, haven't we?

one silver pendant/zipper with an 8 shape and one gold pendant/zipper with a star.

... Fascinating!

so pearl is: wearing a fancier crown than we've ever seen, rings, and a necklace bearing both her and marina's iconography. isn't that just interesting.

EDIT: thank you to @catcake24 for bringing it to my attention that there was concept art i was unaware of.

so. alas. that explains most things. but they did change the necklace. most notably adding Marina's zipper <3

[boobo13cambridge]

Send That Picture Promise I'm A Keep It | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x f.Reader

Warnings: Fluff, sexting, masturbation (m.)

Summary: What’s it like texting when your husband is a really busy athlete? 

A/N: Hello, everyone! I’ve been trying to finish up all my old requests before I get to the new ones. I was actually supposed to post this May 5th, and its now June, oops. I’ve seen all your prompts for the new Kylian smut, and I love all your ideas. I’ll try my best to get them done because for once I have nothing to this summer except find a job, lmao. I swear having a job ready for when you graduate is not easy at all. Uni should’ve prepared us better for the post-grad life. Anyways, as always don’t forget to like, comment, and repost! Enjoy, lovelies ❣️

Kylian: bébé 

Kylian: bébééé

Kylian: bééébééé

Kylian: béééébéééééééééé

Kylian: Arrête de m’ignorer 😢 (stop ignoring me)

Kylian: jte veux  (i want you)

Kylian: j besoins de toi (i need you)

Kylian: envoie t seins (send your tits)

The incessant buzzing of your phone that was conveniently located in your back pocket was proving to bea major distraction as you were trying your best to follow what your boss was trying to say. You knew who it was without even having to look, the culprit - a certain brown-eyed professional athlete who was called away on international duty. 

While you wished you could be there to cheer him on as France played against Gibraltar in Faro, you were unfortunately tied up at work as you had to deal with an important client. As a divorce lawyer, you were constantly surprised to learn just how selfish and idiotic some people could be. You’d think a firefighter would be too busy trying to save people to have two mistress with three children each. Alas, humanity never failed to disappoint. To add fuel to the fire, this particular client absolutely refused to comprise on anything and insisted that he still loved his wife despite being a piece of shit.

Seeing all these cases, you were grateful that Kylian wasn't like that. To be honest, in the beginning of your relationship, you were very self-conscious as footballers were known to be cheaters. A few people (who were no longer in your life) warned you that your husband would inevitably turn out like most people in his profession and leave you for a model. Kylian, on the other hand,  turned out to be nothing like that. He was consistently loving, truthful, and patient with you. The media's attempts to tear your relationship apart still pained you deeply, especially the heartbroken look in Kylian's eyes as you shouted at him, accusing him without even giving him a chance to explain.

But returning to the present, your boss finally released you from the conversation as her secretary reminded her that her husband was waiting on the line. Your boss, an intimidating woman whom you respected greatly, was the only one who hired you straight after graduation, despite most law firms turning you away. You suspected they viewed you as nothing more than a trophy wife destined to retire after having a few kids. Céleste Beauregard was the only one who gave you a chance, and for that you would be eternally grateful.

Walking back to your desk, you pull out your phone and look at the messages Kylian send you. Letting out a snort at his antics, you reply.

You: t’a pas un match à jouer toi?  (don’t you have a match to play?)

Kylian: c koi le rapport bb??    (what’s the correlation baby??)

You: tu c ke chui au travail kyky  (you know I’m at work kyky)

Kylian: allez bb juste une photo 🥺 (cmon baby its just one picture)

You: ds t rêve (in your dreams)

Kylian: fais pas ca (don’t do this)

Kylian: arrête de faire ta difficile (stop being so difficult)

You: t un gros pervert Mbappé 🤢 (you’re a big pervert Mbappé)

You: j d’autres choses à faire ds la vie ke de t’envoyer d pics de mes seins              franchement  (I have better things to do than send you pics of my tits seriously)

You: t’a pas déjà d pics? (don’t you already have some?)

Kylian: j’en veux d fresh svp (I need new ones pls)

You: tu m’énerve (you’re annoying)

In moments like these, you couldn't help but appreciate having a private office with tinted glass. Glancing around cautiously to ensure no one was present, you carefully unbuttoned your dress shirt, unveiling a seductive, lacy red push-up bra. With one hand, you delicately squeezed your breasts together, your cheeks flushed crimson as you quickly snap a picture and send it to him. 

Buttoning your shirt, you feel a mixture of excitement and anticipation, as you nervously bit your lip, holding your breath as you observed the three blinking dots in your message thread. You couldn't help but giggle at doing something so risky at your workplace.

Kylian: putain bb chui bandé 🤤 (fuck bb i’m hard) 

Kylian: si tt là ça serait parti en branlette espagnole 😏 (if you were here I would’ve fucked your tits)

You: t dégeulasse 🙄 (youre disgusting)

Kylian: tu m’aimes pareille ❤️ (you love me tho)

You: vrm pas  (not really)

You: envoie moi t seins toi (you send me your tits)

Kylian: jpeux tenvoyer qq chose de mieux 😘 (i’ll send you something better)

Your heart raced with anticipation, a symphony of palpitations echoing in your chest, as you waited impatiently for your husband to send you a picture of himself.

As the picture popped up, you felt liquid heat pool in your panties as your breathing deepened looking at the nude Kylian had sent you. 

The dim lights showed his hand wrapped firmly around his throbbing cock. Your gaze was fixated on the engorged head of his member, a vibrant hue of crimson, as a drop of precum bubbled on top. You could feel yourself throbbing as you feasted on the photo. Waves of pleasure surged through your core, causing your body to pulse with an insatiable hunger.

You: merde kyky ta pas le droit de m’envoyer sa quand tu c ke jpeux rien   faire (shit kyky you can’t just send me this when you know i cant do anything about it)

Kylian: enjoy bb 😘

You: ??

You looked at his message confused, not really sure what he meant. A few minutes later, he sends you a video that ignited a blush so intense it flushed the very roots of your hair.

In the video, he moved with tantalizing slowness, his strong, veiny arms caressing his length with deliberate, seductive strokes. Each movement of his arm drove your senses ablaze. The air around you thickened with the sound of his sinful moans, weaving a symphony of pleasure that sent shivers down your spine.

Your eyes were fixated on the mesmerizing sight, unable to tear themselves away from the erotic scene playing on your small screen. Your breath hitched as he swiped a bead of precum, his fingers glistening with the essence of his desire. 

It was when a primal groan escaped his soft, pink lips with the sound of your name on the tip of his tongue that sent a blast of ecstasy through your body, electrifying every nerve ending with longing.

Unable to contain the building heat within you, you instinctively pressed your thighs together, seeking relief from the persistent throbbing that radiated from your slick core. 

The video was two minutes long, and you were burning up so fast. As you continued to watch the captivating video, your senses became heightened, every nuance and detail etching itself into your memory. The sheer eroticism of the scene, the raw sensuality exuding from his every movement, unleashed a whirlwind of desire within you.

With every gasp and moan that escaped his lips, you felt the reverberations deep within your core. His sinful utterance of your name was like a symphony of passion, intertwining with the symphony of your racing heart. 

As his fingers swept across his velvety skin, spreading the intoxicating precum, the ache between your thighs intensified. The throbbing in your core demanded attention, aching for release. The tension built, and with every second, you grew closer to the precipice of ecstasy.

It was almost a bittersweet torment, because as much as the video set aflame your desire for him, it also intensified the ache of longing for his physical presence. With a final, lingering stroke, the video came to an end, leaving you breathless and craving more. 

You: t vrm cruel kyky (you’re so cruel kyky)

Kylian: 😘😘 mmmhhh jte vois samedi? (mmmhhh see you saturday?)

You: non, viens mtn 🥺  (no, come now)

You: jte veux trop (i need you too much)

Kylian: hahah, tu c ke jpp princesse (hahah you know i can't princess)

Kylian: mais jvai marquer un but pour toi bb (but i’ll score a goal for you bb)

You: t mieux ❤️ 🙄 (you better)

You: jtm booboo ❤️ (ily booboo)

Kylian: jtm fort mon coeur ❤️ (ily so much my heart)

You: tu veux que je t’amène qq chose bb? Je c ke tu vas rester à l'hôtel avant le match au stade (do you want me to bring you something bb? I know you’re staying at a hotel before game at the stadium?)

Kylian: ouii, t seins 🤤 (yess, your boobs)

You: ugh bye 🙄

Your playful exasperation was evident as you bid farewell to the teasing suggestion. The exchange left a lingering sense of anticipation and passion in the air, as you both were eagerly waiting to see each other again. The thought of being in his arms, of holding him and kissing him, made you long for him so bad. Looking at the time, you quickly packed your stuff and rushed home, excited to be with him.