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#these two song back to back is so beautiful because of course andy knows how to set the tone of an album
lifemod17 · 6 months
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it is disgustingly late and i cannot sleep so i SHOULD be grumpy, HOWEVER, having Wasteland, Baby! and Be (Acoustic) playing back to back has me smiling stupidly and its doing a wonderful job of lulling me to slumber 😌
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andysbubba · 3 years
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home to me
↳ andy let you go once, he doesn't wanna lose you again
a/n: a little series? this one's probably gonna have another chapter or two hehe <3
𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲'𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
---
Andy's stomach churned when he sees you. In a very good way. It's been a good two years since the break up and he can barely believe that he's seeing you right then and there— in the corner of the cafe that Andy knows you love going to. Your voice made his heart flip. It's so goddamn beautiful and Andy misses it so damn much.
He doesn't even know why he's so stunned at the sight of you. It's the only reason why he's there— why he's always going there almost every weekend, hoping to get a glimpse of you sometime. You're in the fuzzy, furry jacket that you're always wearing on chilly days, your hair pulled up with a claw clip and your laptop right in front of you with a cup of coffee right by the side.
He tried to get over you, he really did. But even after all the women he met after you, no one made him feel the same way you did. The butterflies in his stomach he gets just talking to you like some teenager, or how his heart just flutters when you smiled at him with that beautiful grin.
Andy couldn't help but look at you every two minutes, while he's waiting in the queue for his turn. He's thinking of what to say if he even has the guts to walk up to you and say hi.
The break up wasn't necessarily bad... it was mutual. Kinda. You were in the middle of your studies and you just wanted to focus on doing well and getting your masters. It's not that Andy was a distraction— really, he actually helped a lot. But between studying and trying to make sure you don't abandon Andy, you realised that taking a break would be good for the both of you.
You were young, only 24 while Andy was 14 years older than you are. He's so mature and wise that you just felt that you just wanted to grow as your own person before you and Andy took it any further and got more serious. You thought that you'd work on yourself, fixing up your flaws and make yourself just grow into a better version of yourself. And as much as Andy disagreed, he didn't want to force you to keep being with him. He thought that maybe, you both could just grow as time passes, and that you can change right next to him.
But he just agreed with you, because he definitely does not want to pressure you into being in a relationship with him no matter how much he actually wants you to stay with him. So technically, it was a mutual break-up to you. But he didn't really feel the same.
And unsurprisingly, Andy simply cannot get over you. Two years passed, and he just wishes that you're by his side again.
"Hi! What can I get for you?"
Andy snaps out of his trance, stepping towards the cashier and ordering his coffee to-go with a bagel as well. He takes a quick glance at you before he decides to change his mind. "Actually— I'll just have those here."
Wait— you recognise that voice.
You instantly glance up from the screen of your laptop, watching the familiar back and broad shoulders standing at the cashier. Holy fuck- Andy?
Your gaze turns back down to your laptop, your mind trying to decide between approaching him or just letting him go... again... like you did 2 years ago. He still fits into those polo tees like a glove, the jeans barely doing his ass justice but it really accentuates his goddamn thighs.
Fuck. Two damn years and you still have it bad for him.
"Can I join?" Andy glances down at some blueprint or floor-plan thing you have on your laptop. "Unless I'm interrupting— you look busy."
"Andy—" You turned to him and back to the opened floor-plan on the screen. "No, no. Hey-" You lowered the screen and put it aside, leaving some space for Andy. You gestured at him to join you in the booth.
Andy takes up the offer, setting the cup in his hand and the bagel right in front of you before he slides in. "Hey,"
You let out a breathy laugh as you look at him, fidgeting with your fingers underneath the table. "Been a long time."
"Yeah," He nods, offering you one of his adorable smiles as he rests his forearms on the table. "I stopped seeing you around, thought you moved away."
"I thought you did— till I heard the news talking about one of your cases." You retort, lips curling into a soft smile. "How've you been, Andy?"
"Same old, y'know. Long hours at the office and takeout nights. Nothing really changed." Andy grins, "How's everything goin' for ya?"
Oh— and he definitely isn't wrong when he said 'nothing really changed'. For this 40-year-old man to still look like the Andrew Stephen Barber you met like 4 years ago? Phew.
"Uhm- pretty good! I'm uh- I just signed a contract with Perkins and Will."
Andy's lips curled into a wide grin. "You did it!"
He remembers?
Your head tilts as you look at him. "You remember?"
"Of course, hon. That's your dream firm." He reaches over table and pats your hand. "I'm happy for you, Y/n."
"Thank you, Andy," You brush a hand through your hair, eyeing Andy in his whole polo tee and jeans glory. "I'm surprised you aren't working on a Saturday morning,"
Andy lets out a laugh at your words, "Yeah- I just thought, y'know. Uh- I'm old enough to stop being such a workaholic."
You raised a brow at that, "Andy, you aren't old." You give him a suggestive glance as your eyes trace his whole figure. "Definitely don't look like it."
"I'll say the same thing for ya, Y/n." Andy didn't bother hiding his gaze either, eyes trailing down your body till it's back up to your face. "Two damn years and you still look as gorgeous as ever, sweetheart."
A breathy laugh leaves your lips. "Always as flattering as ever, Mr Barber."
"You know I'm an honest person, sweetheart." Andy winks before he takes a sip of his coffee.
You hum as you run your finger on the edge of your own cup. "I remember you telling me that all lawyers are really good liars."
You love how familiar this feels. It's like nothing has changed and both of you are back in 2019. Good, good days. Letting Andy go was a dumb move on your side, you realised that pretty soon after the break-up. You should've known that you and Andy would've made it work someway, somehow.
"C'mon, honey. Y'know I can never lie to you." The wide smile he has on his lips is as charming as ever and god if it doesn't just make you fall in love again- as if you ever fell out of love with him in the first place. Andy clears his throat, a hand inching to the back of his neck and softly rubbing the spot. You instantly realised that he's a little nervous. "You dating anyone?"
You let out an almost silent snort, scoffing at his question. "Ya think? I just called you hot five minutes ago, handsome."
Andy takes a bite of his bagel, looking up at you through those goddamn long eyelashes as his mouth moves to chew the food and those fucking pink lips making you stare at him like a horny teenager.
"You've got to stop staring at me like that, sweetheart." He warns, but the glint in his eyes is telling you that he really doesn't mind you staring him up like that.
Your brows raised immediately in defence. "Like what?"
You tried your best to fight the grin fighting its way to form on your lips. But Andy is a goddamn lawyer, after all. He knows his shit and he knows that you're just being a tease.
He huffs, brow arched as he looks at you. "Like you wanna eat me." He replies shortly, lips curling into a smirk. "Cause I was planning to take this slow after 2 whole years. And you aren't helping."
You hum, picking your cup up and taking a sip from it, hiding the grin forming on your lips behind the cup. "You can still wine and dine me if you wanna." You set the cup down and lean forward, head tilted to one side with your head resting in your palm. "But y'know, I'm pretty impatient."
Andy laughs, backing away from you and resting back against his seat. "Guess it's good that I've got enough patience for both of us, huh?"
You laugh at his words. "We'll see, Mr Barber."
He takes your words as an invite to ask you out. "Dinner tonight? My place."
You playfully rolls your eyes, ignoring the little flutter in your heart. "Who's impatient now?"
"It's a yes or no question, sweetheart."
"Still that cute little loft?"
"I'll text you my new address later."
You couldn't fight the grin forming on your lips. "It's a date."
---
He was at the grocery store when he pulled out his phone and goes to your contact to shoot you a text. It has always been there, saved and never deleted. He didn't want to get rid of the hope that he might have you back.
Andy: 242 Warren St [sent 3.24pm]
Andy: See you tonight, sweetheart. [sent 3.25pm]
You didn't reply so Andy just assumed that you read it. He's looking forward to seeing you again tonight and he's excited.
---
It wasn't till you got home that you realised that Andy doesn't have your new number.
-
LOL I LOVE CLIFFHANGERS.
thanks for reading and uhm come join my taglist if you liked this little chapter? I'm definitely looking forward to writing this one.
do tell me what you think about this, lovelies! i'm kinda excited to see where this goes
-haney
taglist: @milea @ajeff855 @fanofalltheficsx @justile @christowhore @amelia-song-pond @melissad1974 @thegirlwiththeimpala @bval-1 @suchababie @ephemeralfics@franzliszts-wife @tenaciousperfectionunknown @hallecarey1@paintdripsandbrownies-blog @notbrooklynsblog @perfect-peter@alwaysclassyeagle @coffeebooksandfandom @gitasor @mansaaay @iguess-vall @feralherbs @kaiparker-avengerssmut
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talkfastromance4 · 3 years
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Indigo--Calum Hood [one]
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A/N: I can’t believe it’s finally arrived! Thank you all for being so patient while it took me literally two months to write this fic. It’s my first ever slow burn and the longest fic to date (word wise). This means so much to me and I really put my heart and soul into this. This is also written in Calum’s perspective!
Word count: 12.2k (36k total)
Warnings: themes of emotional infidelity but really all internal with no actions,  confusing emotions and thoughts, nudity, slight mention of body image issues, casual drinking, jealousy, sexual situations
Masterlist
Indigo playlist--really just songs that helped inspire this piece so give it a listen if you’d like!
Feedback is always welcome and I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! 
This is split in three parts because Tumblr's new post limit I can't fit it all in one post. So I'll be posting them all at once!
Enjoy!
***
Calum agreed to help out Sarah and Andy with their latest project. He wasn’t quite sure what it was exactly but anything they create is phenomenal and he’s ecstatic to be a part of it. He’d just texted Bianca, his girlfriend, that he’ll be gone for a better part of the afternoon when he arrives at Sarah and Andy’s place. Pebbles greets him at the door, her whole body wiggling with excitement by his presence.
“There’s our man!” Sarah chirps from the table, her camera and other gadgets placed on the table.
“We aren’t shooting here?” Calum asks bending down to pet Pebbles.
“No, there’s this meadow that gets the sun’s rays perfectly at this time,” Andy informs walking in with his own camera bag. “We’re meeting someone else there, too so we should get going.”
“Someone else?”
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
The sun is beating down on Calum’s back as he walks through the tall grass behind Sarah and Andy. They’re a good distance away from the road and he hopes they won’t go too much further and land in the fate of a 90’s horror film. Andy and Sarah are talking quietly with each other and Calum checks his phone, no new messages from Bianca.
“All right, we’ll start setting up and you just sit and relax until she gets here,” Andy directs to Calum when they stop at a fallen tree that has moss growing on it and its roots extending to the sky.
“Who is ‘she’?” Calum asks, taking a seat on the tree. He wipes at the back of his neck, it’s sticky with sweat. His lips are starting to get chapped and he wishes he brought his water bottle.
Andy and Sarah exchange a look.
“She’d prefer to be anonymous so I can’t tell you,” She responds ominously and unzips her camera bag.
“Anonymous?” Calum is baffled. Andy and Sarah make a point to avoid the topic as they continue to gather their equipment.
In about ten minutes there was another figure walking through the grass and Calum peered at her trying to get a good look. Her hair was blowing in the slight breeze and bangs framed her face. Calum was intrigued when she was first mentioned.
Watching her walk towards them made him think of those snapshots in your life that sticks with you. Something inside of him told him this would be one of those moments.
She was short, which was the first thing he noticed when she stopped in front of him.
“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Traffic, y’know,” she smiles at Andy and Sarah.
He notices there’s a hint of purple in her hair.
She’s short and has purple hair.
“No problem, sweetie. We were just getting things ready. This is Calum,” Sarah nods towards him and the mystery girl turns in his direction too.
“Hi Calum, thanks for helping,” she smiles.
“No problem, Anonymous,” he grins standing from his tree and holds out his hand.
“Oh, right,” she snickers, stepping forward to take his hand. “You can call me Indie.”
She’s short, has purple hair, and likes to be called Indie.
“Nice to meet you Indie.”
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
Andy and Sarah first have Calum and Indie sit next to each other on the tree while they take some sample shots. This way Calum and Indie can get to know each other a little better. Calum notices the ink on her wrists, arms, and a nose piercing. She asked about his music and what inspires him. He asked what she does and she very offhandedly said with a shrug,
“Social media stuff.”
And that was the end of that. She didn’t add anything more and Calum wasn’t sure if he should ask for her to clarify but her statement had a tone of finality to it.
She definitely intrigues Calum.
“Okay, Indie, can you swing your leg over the tree like you’re riding a horse and lean on Calum’s shoulder?” Sarah asks.
“Yeah.”
Indie does as she’s directed then rests her arm on Calum’s shoulder, her head dropping on top of her arm.
“Both of you look at me...good, now Cal, look down at Indie...good, good. Okay, now I want you to put your leg over his...close your eyes for me, babe. That’s it! Beautiful.”
They continue with different poses on the tree and each touch Indie gives to Calum makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. His body becomes attuned to her touch until Sarah tells Indie to undo her shirt and lay her head on Calum’s lap.
Calum swallows thickly and watches Indie undo the buttons. He looks away quickly wanting to give her privacy and instead looks towards the direction of the road hoping they’re far enough away from peering eyes.
“Now lie across his lap and let the shirt fall over his legs. Yup, Cal... Calum!”
“Huh?” Cal whips his head forward and feels the weight of Indie’s head on his knees. He’s forcing himself to not look down but his body is aware of her weight on him.
He knows this is all a form of art, but he just met the girl and he was unaware this is how the shoot was going to go. He’s posed shirtless for Andy and Sarah multiple times but never with someone else. And never with a girl with purple hair, a gentle voice, and a pen name.
“Lay your arm over her chest.”
“What? Is that okay?” he looks down to Indie’s eyes, they’re a striking deep blue. Like the deepest part of the ocean and he gets a little lost in them. “Is that okay that I do that?” he asks her this time.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” she nods with a smile. “Thank you for asking.”
Calum carefully places his arm across Indie’s exposed chest; he notices how warm her skin already is from the sun but also feels the small poke of her nipples on the softest part of his arm.
“Cover her nipples a bit, Cal, she’s going to post these on her Instagram and you know their dumbass guidelines about breasts,” Sarah rolls her eyes adjusting her camera.
Calum adjusts his arm which means he has to look where her nipples are. He knows the human body is art in its natural form, and he admires the female body so why is he nervous? Is it because they literally just met and her top is open?
He curses himself. It’s not like they’re making an adult film or anything, this is an artistic moment. Shit, why did he think of an adult film because now a million different scenarios flash in his mind. While he places his arm across her chest, he sees some more ink below her breasts but he can’t quite make out the design.
“Indie, put your hands on his arm, spread your fingers…”
Calum hears the rapid shutter speed of her camera as she captures the intimate moment between strangers. Calum wonders why he was chosen to do this. Obviously, Michael wasn’t at the top of the list because he and Crystal are married, and Luke and Sierra just announced their engagement. KayKay is no novice in front of the camera, but maybe they wanted a girl and guy? Usually, Ashton is up for anything involving the human body.
“Cal, you have your thinking face on, man. Relax,” Andy says.
“Don’t be nervous,” Indie whispers gazing up at him.
Those damn blue eyes again. The purple in her hair really makes them pop and he notices a small freckle at the corner of her eye.
“You’re not?” his voice is hushed so Andy and Sarah don’t hear.
“Of course, I am, this is way out of my comfort zone. But this is art, and I want to explore it,” she shrugs.
It eased him that she was nervous as well. He took a deep breath and fixed her bangs in her face.
“That’s good, that’s really good, act natural,” Sarah advises.
“I like the purple,” he compliments, “it really comes out in the sun and makes your eyes stand out.”
“Thank you. I can’t really see your face because of the sun,” she squints up at him and giggles. Calum smiles at the sound.
The session continues and eventually Calum removes his shirt as well which he’s thankful for because he was starting to sweat. He told himself it was because the sun is at its hottest spot in the sky, not because of some cute girl with purple hair and tattoos with her shirt open.
He leans forward on his knees with Indie standing behind him and the tree, her chest pressed to his back and her hands locked under his neck. He wonders if she can hear how loud his heart is beating.
Another pose has him sitting in the grass with her legs hanging over his shoulders. Calum tickles her toes and she squeals out in laughter and Calum knows those will be great shots.
“Hey! Tickling is forbidden!” she laughs. “I will kick you and it will be your fault.”
“You won’t kick me,” he shakes his head but stops tickling her then notices another tattoo on the outside of her ankle. He looks to his right and sees a small red train on the inside of that ankle. “You have a lot of tattoos. What does this one mean?”
His finger traces the red outline of the train and the small speckle of stars shooting from the chimney.
“I loved Thomas the train engine.”
Calum looks up at her not believing her for a second. From this angle he forgets what his smart-ass remark was going to be because her naked midriff distracted him greatly. The ends of her hair tickled over her nipples, her bangs framing her face perfectly.
She gives him a radiant smile that he can’t deny by returning one of his own.
“All right, that’s it for this spot. Ready to head out Indie?” Sarah asks, pulling them from their small moment of connection.
“Yeah, I’m starved,” Indie buttons up her top.
“Want to come, Cal? We’re getting pizza at Marco’s,” Andy says.
“Uh, let me check my phone quickly, hang on,” he pulls out his phone then slips his shirt back on over his head. One notification from Bianca and she just gave his text to her a thumbs up. “Yeah, pizza sounds great.”
He walks next to Indie back to their cars.
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
“How would you guys feel about doing a night shoot back at our place? The city lights in the skyline would be perfect,” Sarah says when she finishes off the last piece of pizza.
“I’m down for that. Can it be partially nude?” Indie asks, sucking up the last of her root beer from the vintage red cup.
“Absolutely,” Sarah nods.
“What do you say, Calum?” Indie looks up to Calum and he feels like she’s challenging him.
“I’m in,” he nods. He’s always up for a challenge.
The night shoot is out on Sarah and Andy’s balcony. Calum watches Sarah and Indie first from the doorway. Indie has her top open again leaning against the railing. She stretches her arms up above her head, extending her torso and Calum can get a better glimpse of that tattoo below her breasts.
It looks like celestial with moons and stars. As the photos progress, she slips it all the way off and leans over the railing. She does a profile view then reaches her hand out to Sarah’s camera for a close up of her fingers. The two women are giggling and Calum won’t deny how natural and confident Indie is in front of the camera even though she admitted to being nervous to him earlier.
Was she telling him the truth or was she just doing that to keep up this anonymous persona?
“Sarah has a way of making people feel comfortable in front of the camera. It’s her loving nature,” Andy explains as if reading Calum’s mind. “This is all Indie’s idea by the way, the shoot. She wants to do a body positivity session.”
“That’s…” Calum watches with wide eyes as Indie drops her shorts and panties then he sees her cute little bare ass. “Nice.” He clears his throat since she’s completely bare. Andy chuckles and nudges him in the ribs.
Calum is suddenly in the need of a cigarette; his fingers begin to twitch.
He watches her as she and Sarah continue to interact. Indie keeps her backside facing Sarah and Calum spots yet another tattoo on the back of her shoulder. Why’d she choose him to be a part of it? Or was it Andy and Sarah who chose him?
Calum opens his mouth to ask when Sarah calls him over.
“Get your ass out here, Hood, it’s your turn. Sit in the chair,” Sarah commands, pulling up said chair right in front of Indie.
Calum keeps his gaze on Indie’s face when he sits in the chair in front of her, his head seems a bit clearer now without her naked body in front of him.
“Shirt off?” he jokes, trying to ease his own tension.
“Please,” Sarah grins and he peels it off again. Of course, she’d say yes. “Baby, can you get the lights for me?”
The outside lights shut off by Andy and replaced by color changing string lights hanging in the rafters. Calum stares up above as they transition from green to yellow to orange and finally to some sort of purple/blue hybrid. Indie’s face comes into view over his shoulder, her fingers dance on his shoulders, her eyes are shining, and her hair is more purple with the added hue.
“Magical,” Sarah comments.
Indie smiles at him and he couldn’t agree more with Sarah’s statement and a few notes of a soft melody sprout in his head.
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
Calum stayed up all night going through Indie’s Instagram. He thought it would show her real name and he’ll deny to his dying breath that he did NOT spend an hour trying to find her profile. Turns out, her social media persona is displayed as Indie too and he wonders why.
Her posts are all about body positivity which include photos of her body that look professionally done in his opinion. Each pose is perfectly posed so you can’t really see everything but know that she’s fully naked. He tries to make out the tattoos he couldn’t see from the night before, but it’s hard with how her body twists and the way they’re edited.
He reads through some of the comments, agreeing with the ones telling how hot and gorgeous she is. He wanted to tell off the creeps and defend her because her message was about loving your body.
Her photos and posts are real and authentic. She talks about her own insecurities, how learning to love her body seems to be an ongoing lesson. He admires her rawness and understands seeing something different when you look in the mirror but when he sees her...he wonders how she can see flaws.
His phone rings right after he hits ‘follow’ and the noise scares him. His heart plummeted when he saw it was Bianca.
“Hey, babe,” he greets and she immediately rattles off about her day.
Calum puts her on speaker so he can continue to scroll through the photos of him and Indie she posted from their shoot. There are comments from some fans inquiring if he and Bianca broke up.
Bianca didn’t really say anything about his photoshoot, but she doesn’t really say much about what he does anyway.
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
The guys are taking a little creative break after bouncing back chords, verses, and beats that they’ve been working on since six in the morning. Ashton was complaining about needing his fifth cup of iced coffee and Michael was starving so the two of them left to pick up lunch and coffee.
Luke and Calum remained behind like always. Luke never stopped working and Calum always kept him company, enjoying the sounds of his soft guitar playing. Ashton’s lava lamp changes to purple and Calum is reminded of Indie so he pulls out his phone and goes to her Instagram.
She’s made a few new posts within the last several days. The first one is of her standing in front of her bathroom mirror with a towel wrapped around her. Her eyes are wide and bright, her hair is in wet strands and the steam frames her reflection. The next one is darker with the towel dropped; two small black hearts are placed on her breasts.
She captioned it: “conversations with myself about loving me are the hardest conversations I have. Sometimes they’re serious and other times goofy, but that’s with the aid of rum. Being gentle with yourself seems so easy until you come face to face.”
The second most recent post is of her and another guy at some sort of festival. They both have on circular sunglasses and the photos are a little blurry. One is a close up of the guy but he’s out of focus and eating a corn dog. The next one is of the two of them standing in front of a funhouse mirror; she has her fingers up in a peace sign. There’s one of them eating cotton candy and the last is of them on the Ferris wheel.
She just captions it as ‘memories.’
The last one she posted was from several hours ago and it was another photo shoot. She was posed with the same guy from the festival only this time she was topless and his arms were around her in front of a mirror. Another one has her lying on a bed with her head hanging off the edge and she’s upside down. The guy is resting his head on her stomach, both of them are looking at the camera and he’s shirtless too. The last one is of her twisted on the bed under the sheets, her ass peeking out and she’s spread across the guy. His hand is very low on her back.
Calum feels a pang in his chest. The pictures are great and all but why is he feeling this sharp pain and warmth in his cheeks?
“Woah, are you on OnlyFans right now?” Luke snorts and Calum jumps from the sound of his voice.
“What?”
“Pretty raunchy, don’t ya think?” Luke grins and then something clicks within Calum.
Could Indie have an OnlyFans account? Is that what she meant by “social media stuff”? He knows it’s one of the most popular adult content websites right now and that pay is really good if you post a lot. Is Indie her...sex name? Is that what that’s called?
“D’you think she has an OnlyFans?”
“I dunno. Who is she?” Luke stops his guitar playing to look at Calum.
“I...I uh did a shoot with her, Andy, and Sarah a few weeks ago.”
“Really? What did you do?”
Calum brings up the session he and Indie did together, handing his phone over to Luke. He suddenly feels very self-conscious and almost wants to snatch his phone back so Luke doesn’t see Indie bare chested. But she posted it on her public Instagram so anyone can see it.
“Wow, you really did a nude shoot?”
“We had our pants on,” Calum scoffs, trying to take his phone back but Luke stretches his arm out of his grasp.
“She doesn’t in these next ones.”
“Give me my phone!” Calum scrambles over Luke’s broad frame to get his phone back. He settles back on the couch in a huff. “Don’t look at those.”
“You showed it to me! Who is she anyway?”
“I don’t really know. She goes by the name Indie but I don’t think that’s her real name.”
“What do you mean?”
“When we arrived at the meadow for the shoot, Andy said we were meeting someone else there and when I asked who it was; Sarah said she wanted to be anonymous. She posts a lot about body positivity and I asked what she does for a living and all she said was social media stuff.”
“OnlyFans is social media. What did Bianca have to say about these photos?”
“Not much,” Calum shrugs and he gets a Twitter notification from her. Does she have a sixth sense to post or call when he’s talking about her?
He opens up the notification and she’s talking about him but very vaguely by only calling him ‘boyfriend’ with a photo attached of him looking down at his phone while they were out to dinner the other night. She brags about him online but hardly does anything with him when they are together. He’s starting to forget why he’s dating her in the first place.
“She had nothing to say about you posing topless with another woman?” Luke’s guitar playing stops and his eyebrows are raised.
“Nope,” Calum sighs and likes Bianca’s post anyway. Their relationship seems to only be about ‘liking’ each other’s posts lately.
“That’s...odd. So, why’re you looking at this girl Indie’s insta anyway?”
“I like what she posts. It’s real and true and a lot of people relate to it. It’s nice,” Calum shrugs. “And she was cool to hang out with at the photo session.”
“Ah, I see. You’re jealous you aren’t in those photos with her.”
“What? No, I’m not.”
“Yeah you are, and you didn’t want me to see her naked bum.”
“How would Sierra feel about that?”
“She’d look with me,” Luke shrugs, “you know that. See if she tagged the guy and find out who he is. If he has an OnlyFans then there’s a possibility she might have one, too.”
“How does that make sense?” Calum asks but clicks on the tagged name anyway because he’s not thinking properly and his curiosity is getting the best of him.
“They promote new content with whoever they did it with.”
“How the hell do you know that?”
“Saw it on TikTok, and there was that rumor that Ash has an OnlyFans so I Googled about it.”
“That’s a weird thing to Google.”
“Please, you’ve Googled worse. So, who is the bloke?” Luke peers over his best friend’s hand to look at his phone screen.
Calum looks back down at his phone on the new profile. He has quite a massive following and a small bio.
“His name is Ian, he’s a model and an extra in TV shows. There’s a link under his name but he posted photos with her, too.”
Calum taps on the post to see it’s of them in that damn bed again. Indie is straddling him but she has on some sort of lace outfit and Ian’s hands are on her waist. They’re both laughing and facing the camera.
“He wrote ‘always a blast doing sessions with you.’ Does that mean photo sessions or OnlyFans stuff?”
“How am I supposed to know? Why does it concern you anyway?”
That stops Calum short. Why does it concern him? His mind is spiraling with his conflicting emotions and the desire to search for more information about this Ian guy. He tosses his phone on the opposite end of the couch.
“It doesn’t concern me. I was curious and now I know you and Sierra subscribe to OnlyFans.”
“What? I didn’t say that at all!” Luke squeaks then narrows his eyes. “Don’t change the subject. Why does it matter if she has one or not?”
“I want to understand her, she didn’t tell me much about her and I’m not sure why.”
“She probably wants to keep her life private. Does she have a big following for what she posts?”
“Yeah.”
“Then maybe she doesn’t want people knowing her business. You can understand that, can’t you?”
“Of course, I can, I--she intrigues me, that’s all. I want to know more about her.”
“Why do you want to know more about her?”
“I don’t know! She...her purple hair and nose ring and tattoos...and her eyes are so damn blue. I don’t understand it.”
Luke is silent for several moments staring at Calum, his blue eyes imploring his friend to tell more. Luke‘s looking at Calum as if he knows something.
Calum is lost in his confusion. Luke moves from the couch and picks up Calum’s notebook and his favorite type of pen. He holds them out to Calum.
“Write about it. Figure it out.”
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
Calum tried to write about it and figure it out and he was a little ashamed of himself for searching for Indie on OnlyFans a few days later after talking with Luke. It made him feel pervy, and even though he didn’t find her, it wouldn’t have changed his outlook on her at all if she did have an account. It only makes him want to learn more about her and not the small number of half-truths he received.
It’s been a month since he saw her and he’s at a party with Roy and Bianca. Bianca was off with her friends so Calum and Roy were left to their own devices which were perfectly fine for Calum. He’s always up for a good time but only when it’s with his close friends who are more like family, not a hundred people who sneak photos of him when they walk by.
He’s scanning the crowd--people watching is his favorite thing to do--when he spots someone with purple hair walk by.
“Indie! Hey!” Roy literally took the words right from Calum’s mouth.
Roy knows Indie?
Indie turns at the sound of her name waiting for her friend to pass and she smiles upon seeing Roy then shows her teeth in a radiant smile when she sees Calum right next to him. She’s got on some overall shorts with one of the straps unbuttoned and a tight black shirt that stops at her midriff. There’s some glitter on her face and Calum is mystified once more.
“Hey Cal, fancy seeing you here. Hey Roy,” she smiles at him and Roy pulls her into a hug. Calum feels a twinge of jealousy that he didn’t receive a hug.
“You two know each other?” Calum asks, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, Indie comes to my meditation sessions once in a while. It’s been too long since the last one, missy.”
“I’ve been working!” she giggles shoving his shoulder playfully. “I’m in need of a good meditation zone, though. Oh, this is my friend, Travis.”
“Nice to meet you guys,” Travis shakes Calum and Roy’s hands.
Calum eyes him up but before he can say anything else, Travis mentioned something about finding their group of friends.
“I’ll send you details on the next mediation,” Roy tells her before she heads out.
“I look forward to it. Have a nice time,” she smiles at them both and lets Travis guide her through the crowd.
Calum is a bit upset he didn’t really get to talk to her as he watches her disappear into the sea of people. He continues listening to Roy and his latest idea for a new album and what it will be based around. He hums and comments in the spaces he’s supposed to but his mind is off on someone else.
And then he wonders where the hell Bianca got off to.
“What’s wrong with you, man? Your mind is out of this world right now,” Roy comments.
“Nothing, nothing,” Calum shakes his head gruffly and then Bianca appears handing Calum a drink.
“You look parched,” she kisses his cheek and he feels the sticky residue of her lip gloss on his skin.
Calum continues to search for Indie as the night goes on, wanting to discuss how her body positivity project is going. He smiles and poses in the photos with Bianca; he knows both of their smiles are fake. Whenever she touches him, he doesn’t get that same feeling he did when Indie touched him in the meadow.
It’s a little after midnight as he exits the bathroom and bumps into someone.
“Oops, sorry, my faul--Indie! Hey!” he grins down at her.
“Oh! Hi again. Having a good time?” she asks brightly.
“It’s all right, how about you?”
“Not really in the mood to party tonight,” she shrugs, “but my friend Travis from earlier likes a guy here so I’m his wing woman.”
“What a good friend you are,” he smiles. “Have they met up?”
“I got a text from him with the tongue emoji, the fire emoji, and the drooling emoji,” she counts off on her fingers. “I’ve walked around this place twice so I’m assuming he’s all good,” she chuckles.
“So, you’re here all alone?”
“Yeah. I was just about to order an Uber--”
“I can take you home if you’d like. You shouldn’t take an Uber alone.”
“You don’t have to do that. I don’t mind--”
“Hey baby, some of the girls want to go to the club. I’ll see you later,” Bianca appears and gives Calum a very fleeting kiss on the cheek.
“Okay, before you go, this is Indie; remember how I did that photoshoot a month ago?”
Bianca glances at Indie who gives her a bright smile.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet--”
“Oh, yeah! Where you were both half naked! Very hot. I’ll call you tomorrow,” she says offhandedly to Calum then runs off to her friends.
“Nice to meet you, too!” Indie finishes in a half-shout and Calum laughs. “She’s a woman on a mission, huh?”
“Yeah, always has to be where the party's at. How about that drive home?”
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
Once in his car, Indie connects her phone to his Bluetooth and puts on her playlist along with the address of her apartment. Calum watches her scroll through her phone until she selects the first song; its vibe is very chill, fitting the mood of the blue color of his car’s interior lighting. He keeps glancing over to her; the blue really brings out the purple in her hair. She then pulls her hair back and up behind her head in a makeshift ponytail, fanning herself with the other hand.
“Hot?” he asks while pressing the button for the AC. she lets out a yelp of surprise when the cool air blows on her neck from the headrest of her seat.
“I need my seats to have this feature,” she sighs then lets her hair drop over her shoulder. “Thank you for taking me home. Will you meet up with...oh my God, what’s your girlfriend’s name?” she presses her hands to her face, eyes widening in horror. “She left before you could introduce her.”
“Her name’s Bianca, and no, I’ll probably go home. Club life isn’t really my style.”
“Are you hungry?” she asks.
“For what?” He peers at her curiously.
“Have you ever had insomnia cupcakes?”
When they arrive at the small cupcake shop they read over the flavors listed on the bulbous glass display case. The cupcakes are the size of muffins and each time Indie nudges closer to him, he can smell her perfume. It’s citrus with a hint of something else he can’t place but she smells wonderful.
Indie ends up getting a strawberry cupcake with white frosting and pink sprinkles and Calum gets a confetti one which she teases him about.
“What’s wrong with confetti?!” he laughs following her outside and sits at one of the round metal tables.
“It’s like the second most vanilla flavor you could get. Live on the edge!” she swipes off a bit of frosting and sucks it off with a low satisfied moan.
Her eyes close relishing then taste and Calum gets momentarily distracted by her reaction to the cupcake.
“Well, isn’t that vanilla frosting? Not too on the edge yourself, are ya?”
“It’s not vanilla. Here,” she holds her cupcake in front of him, her eyes testing him. “Try a taste.”
He swipes her frosting off, eyes still on hers and he pops his finger in his mouth. His tongue is full of a very zesty lemon flavor, it’s sugary and sweet but light enough where it’s not too overbearing.
“Shit, that’s good.”
“Told you! Now you enjoy your plain confetti over there,” she wiggles in her chair taking her cupcake back. She swipes up more frosting.
“You eat the frosting first?” he asks, unfolding the paper from his cupcake.
“Mhm, the cake is the best part.”
He watches her in wonder as she continues to eat before taking a very large bite of his own treat. Frosting gets on his nose and she loses it when he wipes it off.
“Did I get it all?” he asks, sucking off the frosting from his thumb.
“You missed a spot...right here!”
Somehow she snuck some frosting on her pinky finger and rubbed it onto his cheek and nose. Calum was dumbfounded then when he saw her practically rolling in her chair from laughing, he joined her and wiped it off on her own.
“Thanks for that,” he laughs, licking off the lemon frosting.
“I’m sorry, I had to,” she shrugs and licks off the rest of her frosting from her cupcake.
“I’m going to get you back for that, Indie. Mark my words.”
“I’m trembling in my overalls,” she mocks with a smile.
“You should be,” he teases and takes another large bite of his cupcake.
When their cupcakes are finished they’re back in his car and her music fills the air with sound. He makes note of the band on his screen, Linus Young, so he can look them up later. He turns it down on the song titled ‘Crystal Ball.’
“How’s your latest project coming along?” he asks then moves into the middle lane.
“Pretty good, I guess. I want to do a couple more shots before I do a post. Sarah said she’d help me with it, we just have to find the time.”
“Do you need a partner?” he grins.
“Not for these shots,” she giggles, “but you’re more than welcome to come if you’d like. I’m always open to other artists' creative eyes.”
“Yeah, I’d love to. Do you have an idea on what your next project will be?”
“Um, I don’t know. It’s always centered on self-love and body positivity. I might try something with body paint or shadows. There’s a--”
“Do you have an OnlyFans?” he blurts out then immediately wants the earth to swallow him up whole.
Where the hell did that come from? He wanted to try and ease into it casually but how do you casually bring up a website like that? And now he just blurted it out like an imbecile. He keeps his eyes on the road anticipating a well-deserved slap across his cheek or for Indie to demand he take the next exit and drop her off.
Instead, she laughs. It’s a full-on cackle with a trail of giggles gasping for breath. Indie doesn’t stop until he looks over at her in alarm and with an apologetic grimace.
“Oh, you’re serious?” she squeaks wiping at the corners of her eyes. She takes a deep breath, still chuckling. “Why do you think that?”
“I was showing my friend Luke the shoot we did and when I went to your Instagram he saw your other photos and asked if I was on OnlyFans and he said creators usually post photos like that with a partner they collaborated with or something and you said your job is social media stuff and that’s social media and I’m--I’m an asshole for blurting it out like that. I’m sorry. It’s none of my business but even if you are, that’s great, y’know? No shame or judgment from me whatsoever. And I feel stupid for even trying to search you--”
“You tried searching for me?” she asks but Calum’s on a ranting rampage. “Wow. I’m fl--”
“This makes me sound like a grade A creep. You--”
“Calum!” she laughs resting her hand on his forearm. The hair on his neck stands up at her touch just like in the meadow. “As entertaining as it is to see you stumble over your words and talk this much, stop. I’m flattered you would even think that in the first place, but no, I don’t have an account.”
He risks a glance at her; she gives him a warm smile.
“Do you have an account?” She asks in a hushed whisper.
“What?!” he swerves a little in his lane but thankfully he needs to change over for the exit. His GPS says Indie’s place is only a few more minutes away. “No, no I don’t have one.”
She giggles again but doesn’t say another word.
They’re silent for the remainder of the drive, the music playing softly in the background. He wishes he never said anything and that Luke didn’t bring it up in the first place. Calum makes the few turns indicated on his screen and then parks in front of a duplex. Indie unbuckles her seatbelt, angling herself towards him.
“Would you subscribe if I did?”
He jerks his head in her direction, did he hear her right? He opens his mouth to answer then narrows his eyes, she does the same and they have a narrow-eyed contest until they’re laughing.
“Would you subscribe if I did?” he counters.
“I asked you first.”
He unbuckles himself as well so he can stretch in his seat and run his fingers through his hair. “I’m not going to answer that. Can we pretend I never asked that and this conversation never happened?” He drops his hands to the steering wheel; he needs to have a firm handle on something because clearly his tongue is acting wild.
“What did you ask?”
“What?”
“What conversation are you talking about?”
Calum stares at her, then looks outside as if there’s a hidden camera and he’s being punk’d right now. Is Ashton Kutcher hiding in that trailer?
“We were talking about OnlyFans.”
“Calum! I was playing along! You didn’t ask me anything and we didn’t have a conversation about that unasked question,” she gives him a perky smile.
“You are something else, you know that?” he rubs at his face out of embarrassment and feeling like such an idiot.
“That’s what I’m told,” she sighs.
He feels there’s a story or two there but he’s already invaded her privacy enough tonight. And it’s only the second time actually meeting her.
“Can I ask you something?” She asks.
“Yes. Please do.”
“Why do you want to know what I do?”
Calum rests his head on his seat, turning his head towards her with his hands still on the wheel. She’s situated herself in her seat so that one leg is pulled to her chest and resting against the center console. Her round cheek is cupped in her hand, her eyes wide and captivating.
“I want to know more about you, that’s all.”
“Why do you want to know about me, Cal?”
That question again. The answer is staring him right in the face, it’s on the tip of his tongue, but he just can’t bring himself to say it out loud. So, he alters his answer because he’s already rambled enough for one night.
“You have this ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude and a free spirit. You’re sure of yourself and not a lot of people are like that.”
“I definitely do give a fuck about a lot of things. Maybe too much,” she shrugs, removing her hand and leans forward. “You’re sure that’s all?”
She doesn’t ask it in fishing for compliments type of way, it’s more like she knows he’s hiding something, like she knows he sugar-coated his answer. Indie’s eyes have him captured, he’s like a fly caught in a black widow’s web that’s made up of his own lies.
“Ye-es…” he responds slowly.
“You promise?”
Her eyes are steady on his, he squeezes the wheel, arms tightening, knuckles whitening, and the smallest flick of her eyebrow causes him to let out a large exhale. Calum drops his hands in defeat.
“I don’t know how to answer that,” he shakes his head.
She’s looking at him like Luke was looking at him back in the studio.
“You’re…” he licks his lips and swallows down his nerves. “You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met, Indie. I’ve never been this lost in my head on finding the proper words to say what I want to say. But I can tell you that my intentions are only to get to know you, which I’m certain of.”
“Get to know me as a friend?”
“Friend, photoshoot partner, whatever it is,” he shrugs. “All I know is I can’t stop thinking about you.”
She gives him a small smile with an even smaller nod then takes a deep breath. Her hands rub at her temples as she lets out a frustrated groan covering her eyes with her hands.
“Are you okay?”
“You know that’s the truest thing you’ve said this whole time, Cal? I’d be glad to be your friend but I can’t lie about how I’ve been thinking about you, too.”
“So... what do we do about that?”
Indie removes her hands, her eyes the size of planets holding the same secrecy of the galaxy. He wants to explore every part, every hidden crevice.
“I want to know you, too. But we have to promise--” she holds out her pinky “--that we are friends first and foremost. I don’t trust people easily; I only tell what I think they should know. But my intuition is telling me to trust you and it’s never wrong. Can you do that?”
Calum mulls over her words. He reaches over the console so their faces are closer. He can see the glitter on her cheeks and how they resemble constellations. He cups her cheek; his fingers locking in her hair and captures her lips in a fevered kiss without a thought of the repercussions that will follow.
The kiss is full of sparks, desire, and an innate need. Indie kisses him back with equal hurriedness and soon they’re scrambling to the backseat. Lips still connected, her fingers claw at his shirt and--
“Cal?”
Calum blinks. He’s pulled back to the present, his fantasy betraying him in the worst possible way from the reality of Indie still holding her pinky out for him.
The kiss was all in his head. Going against his selfish desires, he hooks his pinky with hers and Indie’s face turns serious.
“We promise to always stay friends, no matter what. Promise?”
“I promise.”
“We promise that no matter what comes from the darkness, what secrets will surface, or whatever urges may arise, we are friends first and won’t let those things change that. Promise?”
“I promise,” he nods, tilting his head to the side in amusement as she continues.
“And above all else...we won’t leave or abandon one another. Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Good. I promise, too,” she stares at their joined pinkies.
“You okay?” he asks, feeling the shift within her.
“Yeah...it’s a little...I’m giving you all my trust. It’s a little scary.”
He squeezes her pinky then covers their joined hands with the palm of his other hand. He cocks his head lower until she looks at him with shining, vulnerable eyes.
“I promise I won’t break it, Indie.”
He wonders if she catches the double entendre to his promise because while he said it about her trust, he could tell she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve. He doesn’t want to break that either.
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
Calum has been walking on air ever since that night with Indie a few weeks ago promising to be friends. Is he attracted to her? Absolutely. That at least is something he can admit even if it is in his own head. Will he act on those thoughts? No, because he has respect for Indie and his relationship with Bianca.
Things between him and Bianca have gotten a little better; they go out more and she’s asked him about his music. When he’s mentioned he has this tune stuck in his head that he can’t figure out she doesn’t say too much about it and quickly transitions to her next appearance promoting a new line of liquor.
Calum’s confident he can push his attraction for Indie to the side and make their friendship a priority. He’s never had a female best friend before but it’s an easy transition with her.
After that night they exchanged numbers and were quick to start sending funny memes and TikTok videos. Calum downloaded the app solely because of her and when he discovered she had a few videos of her own, he watched the four videos relentlessly.
“You’re a very talented lip syncer, you should go pro,” he’d told her one day over FaceTime while he was making breakfast.
“There’s no such thing as a pro lip syncer,” she snorted back. She was applying makeup in her bathroom sitting cross legged on the counter with her feet in the sink.
“Yeah there’s that show on MTV or some shit where you dress up and put on a whole performance.”
“I would literally die if I had to perform in front of people. No thank you.”
Calum laughed then watched her apply her eyeliner with careful strokes and perfect precision. Whenever she did her makeup she had her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail and her bangs clipped up so she wouldn’t get makeup on them. Seeing her whole face for the first time filled him with even more intrigue and he thought she was even more beautiful.
“Why do you do that on the sink?” he asked, flipping his egg on his toast.
“So I can get closer to the mirror. It’s a girl thing. Doesn’t Bianca do it?”
“Dunno, I’ve never seen her put her makeup on before.”
He would send her photos and videos of Duke and each time she’d comment on how adorable he is and that she would steal him one day.
“You’ll have to get through me first,” he grinned.
“I can take you. It’s one of my superpowers.”
“What superpower is that exactly?”
“If I tell you then my cover’s blown, duh.”
“Why don’t you show me then?” he teased with a slight hint of flirtation.
“Cal…” she warned but couldn’t help her giggle.
“All right, all right,” he smiled, scratching at his head. “Sorry.”
There would be some innocent slip-ups like that throughout their conversations. Calum just felt so at ease with Indie and when she asked him to help her with a photoshoot of hers he was more than excited to accept.
When he arrived at her place, there was music playing from down the hall and he heard voices followed by Indie’s laugh. He follows the sound right into her bathroom where she is with another girl while the bathtub was running water, bubbles rising.
“Did you finally get your own dog?” he asks and the two girls turn at his voice.
“No, it’s for the photos,” Indie smiles. “Cal, this is Inka, she’s going to be in the photos with me and helping you take them.”
“Nice to finally meet you, Calum,” Inka smiles.
Inka’s a little taller than Indie with flowing ink black hair, wide set eyes and brown skin. She has a septum piercing and is also very good looking.
“Nice to meet you,” he nods, and then turns fearfully to Indie. “I’m taking the photos? Shouldn’t you ask Sarah, she’s a professional.”
“I don’t want them to look professionally done. Inka’s big on water photography so she’ll help you. And we need someone to take photos of us together.”
“All right, so…” he glances at the tub that Inka is now bent over testing the water. “What’s with the bubble bath?”
“That’s where we’ll be,” Indie grins, removing her shorts.
Calum is so caught off guard by being the photographer that his eyes watch her step out of them, but finds she has on swimsuit bottoms. At least he won’t be distracted this time like in the meadow or at Andy and Sarah’s when she was completely naked.
“Are you alright with us being topless, Cal?” Inka asks removing her own shorts. He spots some ink on her skin as well, he wonders if they got tattoos together at one point. The styles are pretty similar.
“I’m fine if you guys are,” he shrugs then eyes up the Polaroid sitting on the counter. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with me here; I respect the artistry of the naked body.”
“All I needed to hear,” Inka says with a sigh. “The water’s perfect, Indsy. I’ll put on music that helps me get in the zone.”
“Is this the camera I’ll be using?” Calum asks, pointing to the Polaroid as Inka changes the music on her phone to something with a bit of soul to it. The voice echoes very softly within the bathroom.
“Yeah, it’s Inka’s. She’ll show you how to use it while I’m in there. Thanks for helping with this, everyone couldn’t or thought it was weird when I asked them.”
“Glad to be of assistance,” he smiles down at her, noticing she doesn’t have makeup on. “You look nice by the way.”
“Thank you. I’m going to take my top off now,” she touches his arm as if in assurance, her eyes widening slightly. “Will you be okay?”
He knows she’s teasing but he links his pinky with hers that’s on his arm.
“Promise. Now get in there,” he jerks his head towards her bath.
“Sheesh, you’re a demanding assistant.”
She backs away and he examines the camera with curiosity. When Inka and Indie converse behind him, he lifts his eyes to their reflection in the mirror just as Indie is pulling her t-shirt off. Her eyes meet his as she tosses it to the floor and it’s as if the moment slows before she’s stepping into the water.
“Inka! This is too hot!” she squeals, pulling her foot out.
“No, it’s not! Calum, come feel the water.”
He turns and stands next to Indie; he bends to the floor pressing his hand through a mountain of bubbles. It’s pretty warm but he’s come to realize that Indie doesn’t like hot things.
“I think it’s fine but it is too hot for her,” he agrees with Indie.
“Well, you’ll get used to it and if your cheeks get a little red or your chest, then it will make the pictures better.”
Indie sighs; she puts her hand on Calum’s shoulder for extra support and puts her foot in the water again. She lets out a hiss and stands there for a couple seconds. Calum grabs her hand and holds her fingers when she places her other foot in the tub as well. He watches her scrunch her face at the temperature, he can see a red splotch blooming on her chest already and she’s not even fully in yet.
“Darling, it’s really not that bad,” Inka sighs rubbing at Indie’s shoulder. “Is it?”
“I just need to let myself get used to it,” Indie replies and drops a knee, her fingers’ holding onto Calum’s tightly.
“I can get a cold washcloth for you,” he offers but Indie shakes her head and drops her other knee.
“I’ll be okay. Can you get me a bottled water from my fridge?”
“Yeah, I’ll be right back,” he nods and he releases her fingers.
When he returns, Indie is fully in the bath, her hair cascading over her back like a dark purple curtain. Her knees are drawn up to her chest and Inka is on the floor with her camera pointed at Indie. Indie’s head is on her knees, her body curving forward, eyes big and her lips pouting slightly.
Calum doesn’t like how she looks sad even if he knows it’s for the aesthetics of it all. Indie looks up at him then stretches a now bubbly arm towards him for the water.
“Wait, stay like that for a minute!” Inka instructs Indie's pose and the camera clicks. “Okay, you can take it.”
Calum sits against the cabinets next to Inka, paying attention to the buttons on the camera before she takes a picture. Indie leans back with her head tilted back and eyes closed, her breasts pointing out. Then she rested her arms on the edge of the tub, her cheek falling perfectly in the crook of her elbows and she eyed up the camera and Inka. When she looked at Calum, he forgot how to swallow.
“Okay, ready for me?” Inka asks, standing up from her place on the floor.
“You’re going to complain about the water though,” Indie rolls her eyes playfully and turns the tap back on. She shifts to the opposite end so she doesn’t feel the hot water.
“Just take photos you think would be good as candid’s,” Inka instructs handing Calum the camera.
He’s nervous now. He doesn’t want to mess up their vision and he runs over what Inka told him in his head as she takes off her tank top and climbs in with Indie.
“This is so tepid!” Inka shrieks and Indie laughs.
“It’s perfect!”
“You’re such a little weirdo,” Inka drops into the water and pushes the running water towards Indie. Indie sticks her tongue out.
While the water continues to run, Calum takes some practice shots and Inka starts to pull her hair up in a very messy bun with loose strands kissing her cheeks and forehead. She looks very good, actually. Inka has a natural beauty to her, much like Indie does. Calum took photos of that process, Inka is confident in herself like Indie is; it’s all in her posture.
“Remember the first time we were in the bath together?” Indie asks, leaning against the wall.
“Yeah, you were drunk and thought your tub was a whirlpool. But you turned the shower on instead and I thought you were drowning,” Inka laughs.
Calum captures their smiles. He remains silent as they place bubbles on each other’s noses or blow them at each other from their hands. He tries to take as many of those as he can because he thinks they’re charming.
He discovers they’ve been friends ever since Indie moved to L.A and have gone through tough things with each other like bad relationships, loss of jobs, and fallouts from a whole group of friends they were involved in. The more they talked, the closer they got in the tub.
“Here, turn around, I want to get some shots like this,” Indie tells Inka.
They’re in a fit of giggles and laughter as Inka maneuvers in the water, some of the bubbles are rolling down the sides of the tub. Once they’re situated, Indie scoots closer until she’s pressed against Inka’s back. Calum’s reminded of feeling her pressed against his back at Andy and Sarah’s.
“Look at Cal,” Indie says and they both turn to Calum.
He snaps the photo.
“How are you doing over there Mr. Camera Man?” Inka asks leaning against Indie.
“Great. How’re you guys?” he asks.
“Hungry. I want some pizza,” Indie sighs. She presses her cheek to Inka’s neck and wraps her arms around her stomach.
“We’ll order some afterwards,” Inka lifts her hand and pats at Indie’s head affectionately. “Does Calum know you need to be fed every few hours?”
“You make me sound like a baby,” Indie laughs. “Does Calum know?” She directs the question to him in third person, looking at him expectantly.
“Yes, I discovered she gets very feisty when she’s hungry,” Calum laughs.
“He’s a good egg,” Indie says and kisses Inka’s neck.
“Wait, do that again,” Calum says and Indie presses her lips to Inka’s neck. He snaps the picture and he grins. “That’s a good one.”
“Stay professional over there, sir,” Inka warns, narrowing her eyes.
“I am! It’s a sweet moment that’s all. You guys are close and have been through a lot. There aren’t too many friendships like that.”
“I always tell her she’s my soulmate,” Inka pats Indie's cheek then spins around again in the water.
“My friend Ash and I say the same thing.”
“You two take baths together, too?” Inka asks and Indie laughs.
“No,” he laughs. “We wouldn’t fit.”
That gets them both laughing and he snaps a picture of it, the pure joy and amusement on their faces. He notices goosebumps are on Indie’s arms.
“You’re getting cold, Indie,” he comments.
“Yeah, we should get out soon. Did you get some good photos?” she asks, sitting up a little straighter, her hands on the edge of the tub.
“Wait, Cal get one more picture,” Inka stops Indie from standing.
He poises the camera to his eye again and watches as Inka leans in and gives Indie a soft kiss on the lips. She holds the kiss so he can take the picture and he keeps snapping when they pull away and smile at each other.
They both rise from the tub with more water sloshing over the sides; all the bubbles are gone now. Calum stands handing them each a towel; he’s trying to wrap his head around that kiss. He kisses his friends too, but to see Indie be kissed by a girl made that pang form in his chest again like when she hugged Roy and not him.
He shouldn’t be jealous; they’re just friends and he pinky promised.
“I’ll order some pizza and upload these so we can look at them,” Inka says, wrapping the towel around her. She folds it over so it’s held to her body like a strapless dress. “Time to put your camera skills to the test.”
The photos ended up looking really well. He could tell the differences between his and Inka’s, hers were angled in different ways to make the focal point look cool. His photos were straighter on but Inka was impressed by some of his close-up shots of their laughter.
The three of them watched a movie as they ate their pizza, laughing at the scenes and more memories that came about for Indie and Inka. Calum really liked Inka and she gave him a hug when she left, promising she’ll contact him if she needs his help for her own photos.
“You have her approval by the way,” Indie says, moving back to the couch pulling her blanket over her legs.
“Approval?” He joins her resting his arm over the back of her couch.
“Of being my guy best friend. This was sort of a test of hers by having you deal with our shenanigans and being half naked in the tub.”
“Elaborate, please?” he chuckles. “Did she think I’d be weird about it?”
“She’s a little protective over me. We’re best friends but…” Indie looks at her hands in her lap; she starts to play with the edge of the blanket.
“But…?” he prompts and she bites her lip. “I feel like this is a pinky promise moment.”
“It is.”
He holds out his pinky waiting for her to link their fingers. She takes in a deep breath and hooks her pinky around his but she doesn’t let it go when she speaks. Her eyes are trained on their pinkies.
“Inka and I dated actually, for a short time. It was right when I moved out here and we got super close super-fast, I felt the most comfortable with her in the friend group I fell into. She’s the first one I voiced my attraction to women about and she said she was the same. We both don’t like labels. And... Yeah, we dated for a couple months but both agreed our friendship was more important than if we broke up badly.”
“So, you’re attracted to men and women or just women?” he asks softly.
“Both,” she says, her eyes still on their pinkies. “Inka’s the only woman I’ve dated and have been with but I’ve had other crushes. They just never went anywhere.”
“Hey, look at me,” he tugs on her pinky lightly until her eyes meet his. “Why do you seem scared?”
“When I tell other guys about it they get all weird and ask for threesomes or they get freaked out like I'm going to cheat on them with her or something. I’m attracted to girls but it’s more than attraction, too.”
“I get it,” he nods, “you don’t have to explain to me. You care for people for who they are. I’m sorry if you felt cautious to tell me. You can tell me anything, Indie.”
“It’s just nerve wracking, that’s all,” she lets out a shaky laugh. “I knew you wouldn’t be creepy with the photos but while we were doing them I figured this would be a good time to tell you.”
“Thank you for telling me, it helps me get to know you better,” he smiles. She gives him one back then pulls her pinky away so she can give him a hug.
He holds her tightly, feeling how fast her heart is beating. They didn't let go until her heart slowed down and matched his.
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
Every day at the studio, Luke would pester Calum asking when they would finally get to meet Indie. Not long after, Ashton and Michael would chime in as well about wanting to meet her and Calum would do his best to ignore them. But he knows his brothers and they’re persistent to the point where it will make you go mad if you don’t agree.
Today was more of a chill day tossing random lyrics and notes around trying to make it into a song. While the other three were goofing off, Calum was at the piano trying to work out the notes that have been swimming in his head for the last couple months. He has the first and last notes down pat but what is in the middle? He can’t figure it out.
“Hey, Cal,” Luke calls, “you should have a party tonight.”
“What for?”
“So, we can all hang out, drink, eat, meet Indie…”
Calum’s hands fall away from the keys and he twists around on the bench to see Luke smiling with all his teeth. He looks like that emoji with his teeth bared.
“Why do you want to meet her so badly?”
“She’s friends with you, we want to be friends with her as well,” Luke shrugs.
“Roy knows her, why can’t we?” Ashton adds.
“Yeah, is she even real at this point?” Michael chortles.
“Yes, she’s real,” Calum rolls his eyes. “How—”
His phone buzzes on the table.
“It’s Indie!” Luke exclaims trying to snatch up the phone.
Calum darts forward grabbing his phone before they can. Thankfully, it was just a text because he knew if he picked up the phone one of them would have found a way to speak with Indie and say something ridiculous.
“Stop acting like we’re twelve,” Calum shakes his head. “Two of you are married.”
“I’m engaged, actually,” Luke corrects, leaning back on the couch. He crosses his converse covered feet at the ankles. “What’d she want?”
Against his better judgment, Calum opens the message to see three photos and a text. They’re all the same photos just taken in different positions. It’s her naked body, from just below her breasts to the tops of her thighs. She’s poised in a way that you can’t see anything and it ranges from black and white, sepia, and the original photo.
‘Which one should I post?’ was the text sent.
“She sent me photos asking for help on which ones to pick for a post,” Calum says already typing away about how she should do all of them. Then he asks how her day’s going. He looks up at his friends and they’re giving him the same look of expectation. “Ugh, fine! If I invite her over you can’t be weird as shit like you are right now.”
They whoop and holler at that news.
“Finally, we get to meet the infamous Indie,” Luke sighs, resting his head on his hands. Calum throws a pillow right at his face.
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
All of Calum’s friends are mingling in the backyard and kitchen area, conversation and laughter is heard over the low sound of the music playing. He’s ordered pizza and wings for everyone to enjoy and they should be delivered in about forty-five minutes. He’s been anxiously waiting for Indie to arrive but is also nervous about how the guys will act around her.
Bianca is out of town so she couldn’t make it and Calum wasn’t too sure what his feelings are about her not being here. She told him to have fun and not get too rowdy, so he appreciates that small sentiment.
Indie was excited to meet everyone else when he called her and when she asked if she could bring a friend, he assumed it was Inka so he of course said yes.
Boy was he ever wrong.
He was popping open another white claw when Andy and Sarah announced her name. He looks up in excitement to see her hugging Sarah but then it falters when he sees it’s not Inka that’s next to her. It’s that guy Ian from her Instagram posts that she posed with. The pang in his chest is back when Ian places his arm over Indie’s bare shoulders and shakes Andy and Sarah’s hand.
Calum takes notice of her outfit; she has on a dark blue top with the sleeves that only go to the tops of her arms and black jean shorts with some black boots. Her dark purple hair is pulled back behind her head in a sort of braid.
“Hey isn’t that—”
“Indie?” Calum finishes Luke’s sentence and takes a long drink of his white claw. “Yeah, let’s go introduce you.”
Ashton and Michael met them by Indie and she gave Calum a big smile.
“Hey! How’re you?” she asks rising on her tiptoes to give him a hug. Ian and Calum’s eyes meet briefly before Indie pulls away.
“I’m good, glad you could come,” Calum forces a smile. “Uh, these are the guys. It’s about time you all met. This is Luke, Ashton, and Michael. Guys, this is Indie.”
“So, you are a real person,” Ashton nods, shaking her hand.
“As opposed to what? A blow-up doll?” Indie teases and Michael chokes on his own drink.
Calum grins because he knows she’ll be able to handle herself around them. He just hopes they don’t say anything about him that would raise questions.
“I like you,” Ashton smiles. “Who’s this you brought along?”
“Oh! Right, sorry. This is Ian,” she introduces.
Calum eyes him up while he shakes his friends’ hands. He’s about the same height as Calum with short brown hair that kind of sticks up in the front. He’s got tan skin, an arm of tattoos, and has a lean muscular build.
“And this is Calum,” Indie introduces him last.
Calum notices she didn’t say ‘my friend’ or ‘my boyfriend’ when introducing Ian, so what is he exactly?
“Good to finally meet you, man,” Ian holds out his hand.
“Likewise,” Calum makes sure his grip is tight, but so is Ian’s. “Help yourselves to drinks from the coolers and kitchen. Pizza and wings should be coming soon.”
The pang in Calum’s chest only grows as the night progresses. He’s not quite sure what to make of Ian except that he and Indie are very comfortable with each other. When Calum is in ear shot they’re always flirting and touching each other.
“Sooo…” Luke drawls sidling next to Calum. “He’s that guy from her Instagram, right?”
“Yup.”
“Are he and Indie dating?”
“No idea,” Calum’s voice is clipped. He takes a drink of his white claw. The pang keeps getting sharper, his fingers are twitching for a cigarette and now he really wants some weed.
“Are you all right?”
Calum watches Ian come up behind Indie with another drink for her and he smacks her ass then proceeds to rub her back. Indie smiles up at him taking the cup.
“Yeah, I’m all right. We’re just friends,” Calum sighs.
When the party dwindled down, it was only Ashton, Michael, Luke, Andy, Sarah,Indie and Ian left sitting around the firepit. The conversation transitions from topic to topic that are mainly centered on Indie and finding out more about her. Just as Calum suspected, she’s very cryptic in her responses and that makes him smile. Calum’s sitting across the way from her and her legs are resting on Ian’s lap. Ian’s hands are rubbing at her calves.
Calum tells himself it doesn’t bother him.
Somehow the conversation turned to sex, which isn’t all that uncommon for their group but Calum was shooting daggers at Ashton because he didn’t want Indie to feel uncomfortable. As always, she surprised him and she was asking her own questions. Everyone answered her question of what their first time was like and they were all great stories of embarrassing moments.
When it came for her to answer, Calum sat up a little straighter in his chair.
“I was nineteen, wasn’t expecting it to happen at all. And you’re always told ‘oh, it’s this magical moment! You’ll be changed forever!’ but it literally lasted two or three minutes and I was like, ‘that’s it?’” she giggles. “I didn’t feel changed at all.”
“Two minutes?” Michael laughs. “Was it his first time too?”
“Hey, in my defense I’ve wanted to do it with her for a long time and when it finally happened…I lost control,” Ian smiles. “That tends to happen with Indie.”
Calum’s ears feel hot and it’s not from the fire. He ignores Luke’s quick glance to him from the bit of information that Ian was the first guy Indie had sex with.
“And we were also in your parent’s living room,” Indie giggles some more.
“All right, so now the next question…most rounds in one night?” Ashton asks lighting up another joint.
Calum wants to strangle him.
“What the hell is with all the sex talk, mate?” he finally asks trying to play it off as nonchalant, but the way Luke and Michael fidget, he knows it didn’t sound that way. No one else seems to notice, if Indie did he doesn’t know because he doesn’t dare look at her now.
“It’s a beautiful thing. It brings people closer by being open about it,” Ashton rests his ankle on his knee.
Calum snorts and shakes his head crossing his arms. He shakes his leg in annoyance.
Everyone says one or two rounds with little stories with each one. Michael made everyone laugh when he said one and a half.
“I was super drunk and it finally caught up with me and…yeah, I fell asleep,” Michael chortles. His eyes are heavy from drinking.
“That poor girl,” Andy says.
“I married her, so you know she’s the one,” Michael smiles.
“Where are Crystal and Sierra? I was looking forward to meeting them, too,” Indie says.
“They’re both at some fashion expo,” Luke explains. “We’ll all get together; they want to meet you too.”
Then fashion is the next topic of conversation until Ashton opens his mouth again. The weed must have set him off in a very inquisitive buzz.
“Indie, you didn’t answer the round's question.”
“I don’t want to be judged,” she holds up her hands in defense.
“This is a judgment free zone, this is a safe space, c’mon,” Ashton smiles lazily.
Indie looks at each person individually, except Calum before she answers.
“Three times,” she sighs, staring into the fire.
There’s a collective ‘woah’ around the group and sounds of approval. She tries to hide her smile but fails and ends up covering her face.
“Damn, that dude’s got stamina,” Michael says.
“It was a fun night,” Ian smirks while taking a drink of his beer. Indie smacks him in the shoulder and that earns even more of a reaction from the group.
They all want to know details and context, but Calum is seething. He really wants to get up and leave because he doesn’t want to hear anymore, but he knows that will cause more questions.
He remains silent for the rest of the night thinking about everything and questioning everything. He wants to know if Indie and Ian are dating and he wants to know why it matters to him so much. It really shouldn’t and that just makes him angrier.
He’s glad his friends are getting along with Indie, but he wishes it weren’t in this type of context.
When everyone had left, Calum was stuffing plates and cups in a large trash bag then he was going to light up a joint in hopes that would help calm his mind and rid his thoughts of seeing Ian and Indie together. He doesn’t even want to think about what they’re doing right now.
☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆
Taglist: @calumance  @in-superbloom @calpalirwin @karajaynetoday @wiiildflowerrr-blog1 @sunshineeeluke @littledrummeraussie @suchalonelysunflower @hoodhoran @Fobodob @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sunshineeashton @ashtonsunflower​ @mymindwide​ @itjustkindahappenedreally @seanna313 @fivesecondsofonedirection @mulletcal @pandaxnienke @sebsbrokentoe @heartskippeddabat
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artreider · 3 years
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Let's try to get this final live blog on my station 19 rewatch done. I'm currently laid up on my couch in mild pain but unable to do anything else.
I don't really like flashback episodes but i want one for the premiere since we are jumping so far ahead. I hate that this episode starts with a fight. But damn knowing what the fight is over, i love how loyal andy is to maya in this episode. Something ive wanted for her and the team. Qnd also jaina looks gorgeous.
The fire scene yay another fire on the fire show lmao. Feel like we missed some last year which im sure was covid related.
The marina scene ugh chefs kiss. I love how happy and giddy they are. I do wish we couldve gotten to see some of their month apart communication and their quarantining apart those two weeks when carina got back. I wrote a little something related to that and i may share before the premiere of season 5.
The quiet moment between carina saying her morning was better than those 6 weeks and then asking about mayas folks was a beautiful and real moment and i love it. So brief it could be overlooked but great choice for team.
The little bit of danielle and stefania that was them and adlibbed in this episode was so great also.
I love that rhey addressed how everyone was able to attend maskless and how safe the wedding was keeping the real world element in. Also vic love you and your chicken dance comment makes me sad that we didnt get it.
Vics parents trying to talk to her about theo is so cute.
Poor lawyer she'd be good for dean.
I understand some people dont come out until late in life but that is hard to hear that you havent loved the person youve been with for decades like you do this new person. That would hurt me so much to hear, like i couldve been with someone who is my great love if youd told me sooner. I love/hate this storyline for travis family.
Ugh if this fire had gone on any longer those poor kids and elderly couple.
Haha andy you should wait until someone answers the door for you when visiting almost newlyweds or people who've been seperated for 6 weeks lmao.
Also maya's excuse and none wet (shower) sex hair i love it.
Ugh sullivan trying to defend himself makes me so upset.
Bailey giving ben hell about second and third opinions is funny, like i figure shed be all for it.
Inara and marcus leaving jack is sad. I hope we still get to see marsha in season 5. Also if they do pair jack and jo itd be a bit ironic. I mean jo too had an abusive ex like inara.
Also jack and his marsha have similar eyes, itd be something if it came out she really was his mom.
I dont understand how maya hadnt settled on what to wear she's queen of the clipboard lmao. Just goes to show how some things throw us off course. Also i totally get her saying her outfit choice will define her forever. I judge my look in my wedding photos all the time and feel like other people do as well.
Why do i feel like this exchange between maya and carina was mostly adlibbed? It just feels so fun.
This poor family and ugh i couldnt imagine having to make the tough calls of firefighters/fire captains.
Love that all the fire crew helped put the wedding on.
I understand travis emotion here.
How'd this conversation about maya's folks get started with andy???
I love that maya and andy's friendship is restored. Also famous last words maya, dont speak the bad juju into existence.
Dean you shouldve spoken up there.
Why the chief there? I live in a city and the chief aint showing up for a house call that needs a few units. At least not until fire is out of they for some reason cant get it out.
Lmao maya freaking out about wearing the same thing as carina. Andy therapizing maya is funny.
That poor boy.
The dad comments to ben are beautiful. Also love that so many of the team know how dean feels about vic.
So why is travis getting dressed separately than the rest of his team. I mean i know its because he doesnt know about Dean's feelings and pushes vic to give theo a chance as well as allow theo and travis to talk but come on. He wouldnt get ready separately.
Also what was the point of theo going to that room if not to get ready. Sorry just annoying.
I wish carina had had someone mention andrew to her. Whether ben, bailey, maya or even any of the fire team who worked on the call with him during the crossover awhile back. Her grief during this day of happiness should've been acknowledged, even with just a remembrance table for him amd other family she lost to covid.
I do love this beautiful moment with vic though saying this isnt all just for maya.
Oh my how i love the maya confronting her father. She is the brave i want to be. Also what she says to her mom, yes chefs kiss. However when her mom shows up at the wedding, really the woman couldnt grab a nice shirt or dress to wear on her way out or on her way to the wedding.
I also love the look of pride on maya's moms face both at the house and the wedding.
Im sad we probably wont get any moments of her living with marina due to the time jump.
Ugh the choice that cost maya her promotion but ahouldnt have.
Also with all maya's options for clothes, couldnt they had dressed her mama in something borrowed from maya. Lol im sorry it bothers me so.
Vic's song for the intro is beautiful. Barrett has a beautiful voice.
Maya is so happy her mom is there and i love it. Also in my head at least one person videoing is doing it for the greys family who couldnt make it to the wedding for carina.
I also love maya singing along with vic to carina.
Queen of the clipboard forgetting to write her vows is special and funny. I love carina talking her down from a panic attack. Also her simple vow is beautiful and how carina who probably did write her vows saying we're good instead of reading them after seeing maya's mom in attendance and the look shared is everything.
I truly believe that was the moment she 100% knew maya had changed from end of season 3, was definitely all the way in. She knew what it meant for maya's mom to be there.
Love the dance montage and improved marina kiss.
Another healing theo and travis talk.
Sullivan just cant let it go and ugh trying to justify it. I just cant, still not over it. Even if he isnt captain in season 5 it still isnt right.
Sullivan you cant say you have the teams back then saying you can control them and throwing maya under the bus. Those are contradictory.
This jack and andy conversation is interesting.
This marina conversation is funny but sad when you know the end of the episode.
Its so funny that so few people know about Miller's feelings at this point.
It'll be interesting to see the travis, vic and theo in season 5.
Ben and bailey are so cute.
Wish we couldve had conversations at the wedding with maya and her mom or carina and maya's mom or the 3 of them.
Inara is so wise. I hate this for all 4 of them.
Gotta love the ole grab em and pull em back to kiss them and let them know how you really feel tremmett moment.
Too late dean, they tried to tell you.
I love marina dancing in the background ugh sullivan and the surrera rehashing.
Time for the horrible news ugh.
Everyone just looking at marina and knowing is horrible.
Great season, great episode and im looking forward to whats next.
Thank you to everyone thats been following my rewatch blogging, and for all the kind comments. I appreciate it so much, made the summer so fun.
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love you to the moon and to saturn
This started out as a kid!fic because of @thedeathdeelers talking about a juke baby in this post. It did not end up there. It’s much more of a character study I think. In fact this is roughly 2k and 1.5k happen before Julie ever gets pregnant. Idk what to tell you. 
I might try this again sometime and actually write something about the kid, for tonight though, this is all I have. 
That electricity he felt the first time he played the guitar is back, but stronger than ever. He can feel it pulsing under his skin when he looks at Julie. She turns to smile at him and he feels like floating. He just might have been wrong about what being in love feels like.
or: the three times Luke fell in love. 
Luke finds the love of his life at age 11. His parents buy him a guitar for music classes in school and there’s no looking back. He learns the chords the instructor teaches him with the kind of determination and focus that his parents have never seen on him. The boy that can never focus on anything for more than ten minutes suddenly spends hours sitting in a corner and trying again, and again, and again until he can place his fingers exactly the way he should, switching between the chords faster and faster.
The day he finally plays the first melody is burned into his memory for the rest of his life. The feeling of pure joy cursing through his veins is something unlike anything he ever experienced. There’s always the feeling of electricity under his skin, but with his hands on the guitar, it rushes into his heart and makes him feel alive in a way nothing has ever done before. 
He goes home that day, his fingers bleeding from the strings, and tells his mother he found the love of his life. Emily yells at him until her voice gives out. It’s their first fight of many. 
He dies only six short years later and in his final moments he’s glad to have found love, even with how short his life was, because how could something ever surpass the feeling he got when he had his guitar and a song? 
His stomach is cramping, tears are rolling down his cheeks and he is happy he’d gotten to experience the thrill of being on stage, the feeling of people singing his lyrics back to him. How could something have ever made him feel more?
He gets a second shot at life, or at least something close to it, when they tumble from the black room into their studio. Technically the studio is the same, the changes are slight, but noticeable. The plants all over the space, the chairs on the ceiling, their instruments missing and the cute girl register in his mind, but he doesn’t really care. He is back here by some magic and he is going to use his chance. When Julie tells them that it hasn’t been an hour but 25 years, he does falter for a moment. Why would the universe not only give them a second chance, but why 25 years later? 
Not soon after he finds out they can still play and people can hear it and all the questions go out the window. What does it matter why he is here? What does it matter if he isn’t actually alive, when he can still do the thing he loves most?
The next morning he hears Julie sing and something in the back of his mind tells him that he was wrong. Maybe he wasn’t actually in love with music. Julie sings and his heart that has been silent ever since the black room, throbs once in his chest.
In the following days they spend an intimate moment in the kitchen, sing together on stage and write songs together and that little voice in the back of his mind gets louder and louder. It gets to the point where he can barely ignore it anymore. 
She tells them how important the school dance is and Luke in all his rage and thirst for revenge ruins it. They go  to Caleb’s club and miss her dance. He looks at Julie’s disappointed face when they finally make it to the school and the pain in his chest comes close to the night he died. He feels like the worst person in the universe.
Somehow, she forgives them. He’s not sure he deserves it. But he is slowly but surely realizing Julie Molina is a better person than him and so of course she forgives him for hurting her. 
It’s when they are at Eats&Beats and they sing about knowing they can make it and closing their eyes when his heart throbs once more. Julie’s voice rings through the room and the words echo in his head. He looks at this girl that he’s only known for a couple days really, and he realizes that that little voice might have a point. 
That electricity he felt the first time he played the guitar is back, but stronger than ever. He can feel it pulsing under his skin when he looks at Julie. She turns to smile at him and he feels like floating. He just might have been wrong about what being in love feels like. 
Even though she has forgiven him, his little stunt with Caleb almost costs him dearly. The jolts keep getting worse and when he finally tells her about what’s happening, she looks at him with wide, sad eyes and it breaks his heart. He swears to himself that we will do everything in his power to make sure she nevers looks at him like that again. 
They try to save themselves by performing at the Orpheum and it’s a n incredible rush to stand there on stage, to do what he never got to do while alive but the second they take their bow, he realizes that it didn’t work. 
Julie finds them later that night, on the ground of the garage where they poofed to because they have nowhere else to go. She begs them to take Caleb up on his offer and on her face is that same look that he never wanted to see again. He pushes up on his feet and walks up to her and tells her that no music is worth making without her. 
And really, while once upon a time he thought music was the love of his life, he now looks at this fiery, beautiful girl and knows, that while he no longer may be technically alive, he is much more in love with her than he ever was with music. 
But then again, it is hard to say where music ends and Julie begins. 
Julie throws herself at him and he doesn’t even think about it as his arms come up and catch her. It’s a couple moments before he notices that they’re touching. She pulls back a little, and it’s like a magnetic force that makes him follow her. If he could, he’d never let her go again.
It’s only later that night, that he realizes his heart is beating again. 
He gets an actual second chance at life because the person he loves more than anything pulled him back from the death. 
She kisses him the next night, on her porch underneath the starlight. It’s still fascinating to him that they can touch, so when she steps closer and takes his hand, his breath catches. She tugs softly on his hand, until he stumbles a step forward, right into her space. There’s only inches between them, and she has to tip her head back a little to look into his eyes. He never realized how much shorter she is.
She looks up at him with those wide brown eyes and smiles. 
“I’m going to kiss you now.” She whispers softly and all Luke can do is nod. Julie pushes up on her tiptoes and then their lips are touching. 
It’s not Luke’s first kiss, not by far. But it feels like it’s the first one that matters.
The sky is full of stars, but the brightest one is right here in his arms.
Afterwards everything happens so quickly that even looking back it feels like only moments passed. 
Ray gets them set up with passports and social security numbers so they can go back to school. Andi Park calls again and they end up with a contract and a label. ‘Stand Tall’ gets released as a single and hits no. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100. Half a year later, in the middle of Luke’s senior year they drop their first album. They spend the summer touring. Several more tours and albums follow and by the time they’re hit their early twenties all of them are set for life. 
Julie and him get married one autumn afternoon. The ground is dappled in flickers of light from the sun passing through the colorful leaves. Julie is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. The simple white dress looks ethereal against her skin. Her curls tumble down her shoulders and Luke can’t believe she chose him. 
He stumbles through his vows, cries at Julie’s and slides the ring on her finger with a ridiculous smile on his face. Alex, Reggie, Carlos and Flynn whoop when they kiss at the end of the ceremony. Ray is smiling, his cheeks wet from tears. It’s everything. 
They buy a house a couple weeks later. It’s close to the shore, with a nice backyard for the puppy they adopt. Biscuit is a golden retriever and when she looks up at Luke in the shelter from where she’s hiding underneath a blanket, he knows he’s taking her home with them.
They get two rocking chairs for the porch where they spend their evenings with Luke’s acoustic and their shared songwriting notebook.  
Julie tells him she is pregnant two years later. Luke cries. 
Elena Rose is born in the middle of the night a couple days before christmas. Luke looks at the little bundle on Julie’s chest and forgets to breathe. His heart thumbs in his chest. His wife’s hair is pulled back in a messy bun and she is obviously exhausted. She looks the most beautiful he has ever seen her.
Slowly he steps closer. Elena is sleeping, her little fingers flexing against Julie’s skin. Her face is a little scrunched up and there’s a tiny tuft of dark hair on her head. He looks down at this living being he created and feels like his heart might burst. She is barely a person and still he loves her. He loves her so much it could span eternities and galaxies, life and death.
“She’s gorgeous.” He mutters. 
“I know.” Julie smiles. “Come here.” She pats the bed beside her and Luke is all too willing to slide in next to her. 
“I can’t believe we made her.” He says. 
“You want to take her?” Julie asks.”I’m going to be falling asleep pretty soon.” She doesn’t even wait for his answer, instantly passing over the little body. He doesn’t even get the chance to hesitate before she’s in his arms. Julie drops her head on his shoulder as he settles Elena on his chest. 
His daughter opens her eyes and looks up at him with wide blue eyes. His heart swells in his chest.
They get to take her home two days later and Luke puts her down in her crib. She’s wiggling a little, her hands and feet moving in her sleep. 
He leans against the door frame to his daughters room and watches her sleep, still unable to believe that he brought this life into the world. There’s a melody in his head and he’s itching to write it down, but can’t bring himself to look away from her for even a minute.
Julie steps up next to him, leaning against his side. 
“I never thought I could love anything more than you.” He admits quietly.”But she’s…”
Julie smiles. “I know what you mean.” 
He presses a kiss to his wife’s temple. “Sometimes I can’t believe how I got so lucky. I died in 95 and here I am, 35 years later with more than I could have ever wished for.”
“The universe has been kind to us.” Julie agrees quietly.
And as he stands there, with his wife in his arms and his daughter asleep in her bed, he sends a thank you to whoever might be listening. 
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cali-holland · 4 years
Text
The Talk- Harry Holland One Shot
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Pairing: Harry Holland X Osterfield!Reader
Requested by Anon: Hey!! Could I please request one where Harry is dating Harrison’s sister and living in the house with them all and the whole dynamic between her and the boys? You’re my fave Holland/Osterfield writer 🤩
Prompt: Your older brother, Harrison, tries to give you the sex talk.
Word Count: 1600
Featured song: I Just Had Sex by Lonely Island (linked Julianne Hough’s Lip Sync Battle because that was the true inspo)
Masterlist   Harry Holland Masterlist
*Not my gif*
Warnings: swearing, conversations about sex/condoms/pregnancy...
~~~
“Asshole, stop cheating!” You groaned, kicking your brother’s calf as you sat on the floor and he stood in front of you.
“I’m not cheating. You’re screen peeking!” Harrison argued. He lifted his foot and stretched it backwards towards your face.
“Oh my god.” You gagged as you moved away from the terrorizing foot.
“Ah, sounds like Mario Kart.” Harry laughed, coming into the room.
“Yeah and Y/N won’t stop screen peeking.” Your brother sidestepped to stand in your way again. You groaned, getting up while you kept your eyes intently focused on the screen.
“Hi, Harry.” You acknowledged your boyfriend’s presence. He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, leaving you to fight out the last lap of Mario Kart with your older brother. “How was the shoot?”
“It was good. I take it you had fun this afternoon?” He laughed, laying down on his side on the couch as he watched you and Harrison elbow each other while trying to play.
Harrison was your older brother and best friend; when you had no one else, you always had him. And then he introduced you to Tom, who then introduced you to Harry. Sparks flew instantly between the two of you, but it wasn’t until six months ago that you started dating Harry and wasn’t until recently that you started staying at his place, which was technically also Harrison’s place and Tom’s and Tuwaine’s- and sometimes Sam’s. Like any protective older brother though, Harrison wasn’t a fan of you staying the night, but like any good younger sister, you still spent most of your nights with Harry. In your defense, their house was a lot closer to campus than your apartment.
“Well, I finished my research project early and then this div challenged me to Rainbow Road.” You explained. Knowing you were too far in the lead, Harrison licked his finger and stuck it in your ear, making you shriek in surprise. He and Harry both burst out in laughter. As you crossed the finish line in first, you hit your brother with the controller. “Fuck you, I won!”
“You get so heated over Mario Kart.” Harry chuckled.
“Loser cleans up!” You declared and Harrison shook his head.
“Ah, no. I set it up. You clean it up.” He argued. Your boyfriend sighed from the couch, clicking the remote to turn off the TV.
“There.” He said, and you smiled, laying down with him on the couch. He draped an arm over your waist while you brought him in for a kiss.
“Ok, ok, I get it. I’m not wanted anymore.” Harrison scoffed playfully, rolling his eyes at the two of you borderline making out in front of him. He quickly left the room, and you pulled back from Harry with a giggle.
“I thought he’d never leave.” You joked, feeling his fingers play with the hem of your shirt.
“I missed you today.” Harry mumbled, his lips gliding over yours as he spoke. He’d only been gone a couple hours, doing a photoshoot for the Brothers Trust, but his words still brought a warm smile to your face. 
“I missed you, too.” You replied before capturing his lips with yours for a little lazy makeout session. You both knew only Harrison was home so neither of you were exactly worried about someone walking in, since your brother liked to stay clear of when you and your boyfriend were alone.
A couple days later, somehow you and Harrison were left alone again in the house, and you spent your time working on essays in the home office Harry and Tom had “made”.
“Hey, Y/N, can we, uh, can we talk?” Harrison asked, clearing his throat as he stepped into the room. You knew immediately those were the words of your brother, not your best friend or housemate.
“Yeah, what’s up?” You turned to face him as he sat on the nearby couch. He fiddled with his fingers nervously, before running a hand through his hair.
“Well, I know that you kind of live here at this point, and it’s been a month since you started staying over. And- and I know, that I told you it was okay, but you’re still my baby sister, you know?” He started nervously and you narrowed your eyes at him, trying to decide what he was getting at exactly. “I get that you’re 21, you can make your own choices, and you know I’m completely for you being your own independent woman. I’m concerned that- well, I know, Harry’s a good guy and I trust him, but he’s a guy-“
“Haz, are you trying to give me the sex talk?” You asked with a laugh of disbelief. Your brother’s cheeks turned bright red. Part of you wondered if he knew for sure that you and Harry had had sex before, but there was no way for Harrison to absolutely know since you two only ever did it when the house was empty.
“It’s an important thing to discuss!” He insisted as he attempted to regain some composure. “Look, Y/N, Harry’s your first serious relationship, but you aren’t his. I’m just trying to look out for you, make sure you know that you don’t have to do anything with him if you’re not ready for it- and really you shouldn’t be ready yet. It’s a painful experience for a lot of women.”
“Oh my god.” You hid your face in your hands, wishing he’d just end it there. “I went through sex ed, Haz, please stop.”
“Okay, so then you know to use protection. You can never be too safe. I don’t know about Harry, but never let a guy tell you that condoms are uncomf-“
“Stop!” You whined.
“If you need to go on the pill or get an implant, I’ll be fully supportive of that too.” Harrison continued on.
“Thanks. Are you done now?” You asked, still refusing to look at him.
“Not quite.” He replied, making you let out a groan. The humor of his awkward bluntness was gone and the torture was endless, “Now, if something happens-“
“You mean if I get pregnant?” 
“Yes. If that happens, I’ll do everything to help you because you’re still my sister, no matter what. And if Harry leaves you, I’ll beat him up for you.”
“How nice.” You replied sarcastically as you rolled your eyes.
“I just say all this because Tom told me Harry bought condoms the other day.” Harrison admitted, and you bit back a groan. Of course your boyfriend wouldn’t think twice about the implications of buying condoms in front of his brother, a.k.a. your brother’s best friend. By your reaction, your brother immediately knew what that meant. With wide eyes, he asked, “You’ve done it before?”
“Uh,” You trailed off, not really knowing what to say. You two were close, but that didn’t mean you wanted to go into detail about your sex life with your brother.
“You have! Oh my god, Y/N, you’re too young. What the hell?” He raised his voice, standing up from the couch.
“Too young? You were younger than me when you lost yours!” You shot back, “Look, I love Harry and he loves me. And at least you know we’re being safe about it!”
He paused, shaking his head like he was trying to get rid of the thought. He let out a sigh, turning to leave the room, “It’s fine, just forget about it.”
“Hey Haz?” You called back to him, making him turn to face you one last time in the doorway. “Thanks for looking out for me. I appreciate it.”
Harrison offered you a weak smile before he left the room. You let out a small sigh, you definitely needed to talk to Harry when he got home. It wasn’t until a couple hours later that Harry returned home from an event with Tom, and by that point, you were lounging on Harry’s bed, waiting for him.
“Hi, lovebug. How was your day?” Harry asked, laying down beside you on the bed almost immediately after he had taken off his shoes.
“I had a very, um, interesting conversation with Haz.” You joked, and he furrowed his eyebrows skeptically at you. Laughing, you explained, “Babe, maybe you shouldn’t have bought condoms in front of the biggest loudmouth we know.”
“Fuck, Tom said he wasn’t going to tell anyone.” He sighed.
“Well, he told Harrison, so I had to sit through the ever lovely sex talk.” You said sarcastically, and Harry pulled you in for an apologetic kiss.
“If it makes you feel any better, Tom tried giving me the talk, too, but I tuned him out.” He laughed, making you roll your eyes at him.
“Lucky you.”
“So, is Harrison going to beat me up now?” Harry asked with a chuckle as you pushed his curls out of his face, cuddling in closer to him.
“I hope not. I love this pretty face too much.” You pressed a kiss to his nose, softly cupping his cheeks in your hands. You gave him a proper kiss, lightly swiping your tongue over his lips and he smiled into it.
“Wait, I have an idea.” You said, pulling away from him momentarily to get your phone out. You connected your phone to the living room speaker, pulling up Youtube.
“What are you doing?” Harry asked, trying to look over your phone.
“Sometimes, something beautiful happens in this world,” The song started, and Harry laughed, immediately recognizing Andy Samberg’s voice.
“Wait for it.” You teased.
“You don’t know how to express yourself so, you just gotta sing,” The song continued. “I just had sex, and it felt so good,”
You and Harry laughed as you heard a loud crash from downstairs, followed up by Harrison screaming, “What the fuck?”
~~~
Tag List: @viagracex​ @theamazingtomholland​ @Hellomoveonby @heyitsshrez @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart​ @joyleenl​ @t-o-m-holland​ @lonikje​
Harry Tag List: @tomkindholland​
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jerakeenc · 4 years
Text
many kidfics i’ve read and loved
look who’s reccing a million year old fics now. kidfics, very many. posted to dw for snowflake, thought I’d copy here as well. will be reading most, if not all. if you don’t hear from me again, this list is the culprit.
101 Ways To Get Lucky (In Love) by lenore
18,200 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard
Rodney McKay is rich, gorgeous and at the top of his game—except someone just moved the goalposts! Now Rodney realizes he is sorely lacking the one status symbol that everybody seems to have…the perfect family. Rodney needs help, so he hires a relationship coach. Single-dad John Sheppard may be an expert, but not when it comes to his own relationships! And every day he spends with Rodney makes him wish that he could be the one to fill the vacancy in Rodney's life…
A Beautiful Lifetime Event by astolat
29,000 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard
Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.
An Earlier Heaven by regann
67,400 words | X-Men, Erik/Charles
In the wake of Cuba, Charles and his students are ready to pick up the pieces and work toward achieving Charles's dream of a safe haven for young mutants. Those plans, however, take a surprising turn thanks to a very unexpected complication. As he slowly builds a future for his students and for his child, Charles struggles with the loss of Erik and the secrets he's willing to keep to protect his family, but those strides are shattered when Erik makes a startling reappearance into his life. [mpreg, kidfic, ensemble]
And everything nice by noelia_g
30,200 words | Social Network, Mark/Eduardo
The one where Mark somehow ends up with a child and of course needs a nanny for the amount of time he spends at the office. Only problem is a string of nannys keep trying to get into his pants for what he assumes is his money. Cue Mark's assistant hiring a male nanny, enter Eduardo.
asking to be born by longtime_lurker
26,500 words | Bandom, Pete/Patrick
"Don't worry, it's probably just his big gay freakout," Andy yells cheerfully and unhelpfully into Patrick's ear as they're hustling Pete over to the nearest private clinic.
Better with You by harriet_vane
38,100 words | 1D, Liam/Louis
Based on this prompt at the kinkmeme:
Single parent and solo artist Liam Payne hires Louis Tomlinson to be a full time nanny to his four year old son Sammy. Although the two men don't quite click from the start it's love at first sight between Sammy and Louis. Eventually Louis and Liam warm up to each other and get on like a house on fire, in fact the two become a little too fond of each other.
I refuse to apologize for how sweet this ended up, okay? It's kidfic, I am forever writing kidfic, and this one is even kid-fic-ier than usual.
Can't Get Enough of You (Baby) by eternalbreath
22,100 words | Inception, Arthur/Eames
Eames vanishes from dreamshare and Arthur goes a little crazy looking for him until he stumbles across him -- with a baby.
Chelsea, Chelsea, I Believe by empathapathique
300,800 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews
Patrick meets a girl his rookie year.
Don't You Shake Alone by dsudis
62,180 words | Generation Kill, Brad/Nate
Nate looked exactly like Brad always pictured him: exhausted in the full life-in-a-combat-zone sense of the word.
Dude, what's a bulwark? by kellifer_fic
12,150 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles
Beacon Hills is the kind of small town where everybody knows everybody, and what everybody knows is that surly diner owner Derek Hale and free spirited single dad Stiles Stilinski have been in love with each other for years. If only they knew it too.
Every Other Beautiful World by rhiannonhero
43,280 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard
Some things are unexpected but still inevitable in every beautiful world.
Forever, Now by harriet_vane
227,100 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard, Jon/Spencer, Brendon/Ryan, Brian/Greta
Brian rescues kid!Gerard and Mikey from life on the streets, and eventually everyone finds a family.
here comes the sun by oflights
56,600 words | Social Network, Mark/Eduardo
This is a story about growing up, sad 70's rock songs, too much hair gel, "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", a baby with curly hair, a Geiger counter, a dog that isn't named Max, the Chicken Dance, Cheerios, pepper-spray, drugs, sex, and a stuffed chicken named Cluckerberg, nicknamed Cluck. or: Mark raises Sean's accidental baby, and I write the fluffiest thing ever.
I Got a Love (That Keeps Me Waiting) by svmadelyn
163,700 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews
There's a lot of different ways this summary could go, like:
Patrick Kane gets more than a gold medal in Sochi.
Or, the classic: It's too late to pull out now.
Or: Patrick Kane continues to thrive in high pressure situations.
Or: Patrick Kane gets knocked up, goes to White Castle, and finds love, not necessarily in that order.
But, ultimately, all that really matters is this: Patrick Kane is keeping his baby.
I Would Be by cathalin
20,290 words | American Idol, Kris/Adam
AU. Adam and Kris meet a few years down the road, when down-on-his-luck Kris and his young daughter Katherine show up to rent a room from Adam, who never made it to an Idol audition.
Ice Ice Baby by uraneia
51,340 words | Hockey, Claude/Danny
A gold medal isn't the only souvenir Claude brings home from Prague.
OR: The one where Claude gets drunk, gets pregnant, and gets convinced to move in with Danny, whom he's been secretly in love with for years. What could possibly go wrong?
my heart is bigger than the distance in between us by estrella30
15,000 words | 1D, Nick/Harry
Nick chuckles quietly but grabs the remote and follows Emma, Aimee coming up close behind him. It’s indeed Harry on the telly, singing along to his latest radio hit and smiling slowly into the camera far too seductively for half eight on a Friday morning, if you ask Nick. He presses the volume just in time to catch the crowd’s roaring applause and see the pink flush Harry’s cheeks. Nick watches him duck his head as he gives a small wave to the audience, and it hits Nick that Harry is still the most humble and appreciative billionaire Nick’s ever met.
Good job, popstar, Nick thinks to himself.
or, Nick is a single dad and Harry is his bff and it's a bunch of years into the future and they fall in love
Once Upon a Furry Octopus by skoosiepants
11,270 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard
He was an intelligent, intuitive pet, but he wasn’t going to start sniffing out ZPMs or hidden Ancient weaponry or detailed instructions on how to kill a Wraith with a common household item. A pen, for instance.
Reconcilable Differences by astolat
40,000 words | Smallville, Clark/Lex
Luthor Family Values.
Shelter by harriet_vane
63,500 words | Social Network, Jesse/Andrew
From the kinkmeme prompt: Some sort of AU vaguely based on Shelter! For whatever reason, Jesse has to take care of Hallie and give up his dream of being an actor. He ends up working in a dead end job when former, now successful friend (Andrew) returns home. They fall in love, etc, only Jesse can't go away with him because he has a responsibility to his family. CUE ANGST.
Show Me The Way Back Home Baby by stilinskisparkles
15,000 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles
In which Lydia and Jackson produce the world's cutest baby, and the pack goes crazy-- the good kind of crazy. Except for Derek, who is afraid of tiny cute babies and Stiles who plans to be the best Uncle ever. Even if Danny called dibs on Godfather.
Skybird by windsweptfic
33,785 words | Inception/White Collar, Arthur/Eames
Arthur and Eames adopt a kid and raise that kid into Neal Caffrey.
Small Cells and Fibers by sevenfists
7,830 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard
Tuesdays were finger-painting days. Frank made sure to wear his oldest pair of jeans, because even with his full-length apron and his constant reminders that paint belongs on paper and not on clothing, he always ended up with tiny, multi-colored handprints all over his clothes. There wasn't a thing he could do about it, so he just wore pants from 1995.
Small Primes and Square Roots by liviapenn
12,500 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard
"I hope you picked someone really intelligent, otherwise it seems like it would be kind of a waste. Of incubation time, if nothing else."
So Wise We Grow by deastar
81,250 words | Star Trek Reboot, Kirk/Spock
"Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week."
Something Better by lovelypoet
18,350 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard
"We all have to take jobs we don't like sometimes, you know?"
The Next Time You Say Forever by Thistlerose
27,300 words | Star Trek Reboot, Kirk/McCoy
After his ex-wife's death, McCoy is forced to leave the Enterprise to look after his teenage daughter. Under normal circumstances, this would be the end of…whatever it is he has with Kirk that's more than friendship, but less than what he wants. But the universe has other intentions.
The Reeducation of Misters Kane and Toews by jezziejay
15,900 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews
In which Kaner sort of has a kid, and Mr. Toews doesn't know which of them is the bigger brat.
AU featuring teacher!Jon and hockey-player!Kaner. With bonus 'Hawks characters, love notes, pasta jewelry, Be Better Pizzas, pirouettes, a sprinke of angst and guest appearance by Derek Jeter.
The Road Delivered Us Home by keelywolfe
117,430 words | Hobbit, Thorin/Bilbo
In the years since Bilbo left Erebor, he has lost his respectability, gained a nephew, and gotten on with life at Bag End.
He'd left aside adventure for the comforts and peace of his little Hobbit hole, and for the love of a child who needed him. Though perhaps, adventures can yet find him.
This Story Was Brought to You by Our Sponsors by scaramouche
29,500 words | Supernatural, Dean/Castiel
Dean's post-apocalyptic life is a friggin' soap opera. Romance! Angst! Separations! Reunions! Pizza Dinners! A Child Dean Never Knew He Had! It's all very dramatic.
throw a little sparkle all over it by etben
26,000 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard
"Hey, Ma," Mikey says. "No, everything's fine—well, I mean, Gerard accidentally adopted a baby—no, he's changing her now, he can't talk."
Tiny Houses by ohmyjetsabel
77,130 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles
"So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.
God, he dreams.
He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."
Tip, Slide, Tumble by j_s_cavalcante
42,900 words | due South, Fraser/Kowalski
Ray knew when he found the body in the alley it was going to change someone's life. He just didn't expect that life would be his.
Turn by saras_girl
306,000 words | Harry Potter, Harry/Draco
One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.
Unless it's lies or it's love by sprat
25,300 words | American Idol, Kris/Adam
In which Adam (a rock star) meets Kris (a single dad) at an Emergency Room in Arkansas at the end of a particularly shitty night. Also features: San Francisco, fresh starts, baked goods, OCs, cameo appearances by Matt and Megan, pirates, monsters with garbage heads and a recording studio.
What Child Is This by lamardeuse
30,150 words | Merlin, Arthur/Merlin
A modern AU with Merlin, Arthur, mayhem, a baby and a jingly elf hat.
What to Expect by arsenic
29,200 words | Bandom, Bob/Mikey
Mikey has his band, and his little girl, and that's enough. Really, it is.
Winter's Children by neery
66,890 words | Marvel, Bucky/Steve
When their attempts to recreate the super soldier serum failed, Hydra started trying to breed Captain America clones from his genetic samples. Unfortunately, the serum's effects aren't passed down genetically, so instead of an army of tiny Captain Americas, they get a bunch of tow-headed, asthmatic, allergic, immuno-compromised little Steves.
And then the Winter Soldier stumbles across Hydra's failed experiment...
With Six You Get Eggroll by speranza
31,000 words | due South, Fraser/Kowalski
"Kick 'em In The Head: A Guide To Parenting."
ETA: Bonus! Because I apparently lost my bookmark for this one but have the memory of an elephant for kidfic, so it came to me eventually. :D
A Farm in Iowa 'Verse by sheafrotherdon
166,000 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard
John inherits a farm, Rodney ends up entirely out of his element, and there is much ado about baseball.
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everyothermouse · 3 years
Note
Hmhm I love you I love the au u made I need the p l o t but I don’t want to bother you uhhh was yea ok <:)
ok!!! Basically there are 2 plots that converge, a silly lil camp in the woods and a fae love story! Let’s go under the cut for this cus I’m gonna be explaining them for a hot minute lol
I’m gonna make a breakdown of all the individual characters in a minute but for now here’s a chart I just finished so u know whos where in all this
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(Eros not on here but he’s a forest folk) So I’ll give u an expo on both of the plots (feel free to come ask questions as ur reading or after ur done, I would Love to talk abt this au as much as possible)
The fae side: Eliana here’s from two of her townsfolk (the twins) that there are fae in the woods. All her fellow townspeople say they’re just being pranksters again (the amount of times they’ve tried to convince the town there’s totally a werewolf just outside of town is too many for them to be a trustworthy source- and as aspiring nightwalker hunters of course they’re trying to spot fae in every leaf and under every rock), but Eliana, curious, decides to sneak off one night to investigate. After all if there’s a fae out there, it’s her responsibility to ward it off from her town! what she finds though is not a silly lie from the twins or a terrifying manipulative monster- in A flower patch she sees her, the most beautiful charming looking fairy she’s every seen, all alone weaving a flower crown in the woods. He spots her, and although she’s scared at first and wards them with her axe, she can’t bear to attack him. they hit it off really quickly, and Shirley shows her the beauty of the hidden parts of the forest, lit up by the magic of the moon, as opposed to the normal sunlit forest Eliana is used to. She returns home at dawn with promises to come back the next day. Meanwhile Shirley goes home to his ghost husband like ‘omg I just met the prettiest lady evr, she’s coming back tomorrow can we keep her’ and Thomas is like ‘bro we already have jr‘ and Shirley is like ‘no but I want to kiss her 🥺 and hold hands 🥺🥺🥺 and trap her in the fae lands forever with me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺’ and Thomas is obviously slightly jealous but he’s like ‘yeah whatever’ bcus he knows if Shirley does try and make out with some daywalker he’s prolly gonna kill her by accident anyways jdgfufndkc. so Eliana starts going out every night with the excuse that she’s choppin down wood, (ninas suspicious of this excuse but Michael tells her eliana wouldn’t lie,) and Shirley keeps trying to get her to stay forever and eat all their food and introduces her to Thomas and jr and stuff, and it’s nice and all but shirleys making her stay for longer and longer, and he can’t handle letting her go for even a second. Eliana doesn’t mind tho, she’s totally blind with love, and eventually she’s tells the town abt Shirley but that he’s totally not like other fae and definitely cool and there’s mixed feelings, some ‘awwww Eliana finally found a girlfriend, so sweet 🥰’s and some ‘they’re not different ur just being manipulated, we should go kill him’s and even some ‘huh, wasn’t that the name of the guy Harley was crying abt not being able to remember, lol crazy coincidence, Emerson let’s go bully harley’s.
yeah but Shirley has fucking crazy attachment issues and horrible death magic, so eventually one morning he does get REALLY upset abt his girlfriend leaving, like the whole tree (Thomas and Shirley live in a treehouse) is dying around him and Thomas is holding jr begging him to calm down, and Elianas finally like ‘hmm. Maybe this was a bad idea’ and that’s about where we are rn with that whole thing.
CAMP TIME: so as shown from chart above, there’s some ppl living in a lil forest camp together :) emi and graci moved there because they wanna learn how to hunt nightwalkers >:) there was a reason for it a couple years ago but they kind of forgot what it was (cough Shirley disappearing cough) but they’re still dead set on it! And lucky dink, as they’re moving to camp big Harley comes home to visit his brothers and ends up joining the camp for a bit since all 3 of his brothers are there! Camp Side of the story doesn’t have a ton of plot, mostly Harley low key having a crisis abt how busy his life at his actual home is and how everything feels so horribly off here even though hypothetically things haven’t changed much since he left and the twins fucking around and causing trouble around camp. Hallow thinks it’s funny that the stupid kids wanna hunt night walkers cus he is one, so he gives them the tip that theres a vampire in camp and they become dead set on it being Jane. All the kids like playing with Ben like he’s a whole ass jungle gym, he thinks it’s cute. kibi gets dragged around by emi and graci while they try to find the werewoof at the edge of town (sadly they only find Andy, darn, but he plays them some songs so not a total waste. also yes Andy is obviously the werewolf the twins are just stupid GDSHDSJD.) charlotte sits around crying and the other kids and counselors like to play a game where they all take turns trying to make her laugh (the first time the twins came to camp Emerson made her giggle, belle and Ben were so happy they were just sitting there sobbing bcus their girl finally smiled again, so Charlie quietly suggested they make it a new daily game because he hadn’t seen Ben and belle that hopeful in years :,) ). jr and Maria go around biting peoples ankles and collecting sticks. After hearing emi and graci talk abt town, Jane decided she wants to go visit town, Danny‘s super hesitant but the other 3 camp counselors all agree that since she’s 16 now she’s definitely old enough to go where she wants. While shes there she goes to a festival and meets Andy (17) and it’s nice :) also hallow has ero Boyf who visits sometimes and Danny’s got husb Sébastien who he and Jane visit a lot.
ya that’s pretty much all the plot stuff for now! there’s some more backstory stuff abt thomas dying with Charlotte watching and Shirley going missing and what not but yea that’s pretty much it :D
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lazaefair · 4 years
Text
Has anyone done the Disney Princess AU yet
Part 1 - written by me, @poemsingreenink, and @iwritesometimes
poemsingreenink: Like, if anyone has big, soft innocent eyes it's Marwan who I swear to god looks near happy tears in most intense scenes. I at one point during Aladdin in theaters thought "You know Jafar's maybe just not had a great life. He's really having a day here." BECAUSE OF HIS BIG SOFT EYES.
lazaefair: LUCA MARINELLI HIMSELF SAID IT
sarah: HOWWWWW DID HE EVEN GET CAST AS JAFAR LIKE THOSE ARE DISNEY PRINCESS EYES
lazaefair: I...I need somone to draw Joe in a Disney Princess dress
sarah: but WHICH PRINCESS i feel like belle's off the shoulder gold ballgown has promise
lazaefair: Ariel’s pink gown would really drive the point home, though Although you’re right, Belle is a literate, dreamy brunette who loves poetry, so she’s closer as an archetype
sarah: i'll be honest: i was mostly thinking of getting his shoulders nude
lazaefair: Nicky is Ariel. Big blue eyes, otherworldly, utterly uncivilized.
sarah: YES
So imagine: Prince Yusuf, who had a giant statue of himself gifted to him on his birthday, and who hates it because his best friend (and immortal general of the army) Andromache is NEVER GOING TO LET HIM LIVE IT DOWN.
Also imagine: feral merman siren Nicolò who bites off fishheads and communicates through weird clicking noises, when he’s not singing men to their deaths. He’s not one of those useless pretty koi mermaids, no. He’s a motherfucking creature of the deep. Lamp eyes that are used to distract fish prey. Claws and pale fins and an intense stare and fangs.
Now imagine: Prince Yusuf going overboard in the storm that hits his royal yacht. Struggling, swept away, half-drowned and losing hope fast when an unearthly song fills the air, low and sweet and compelling. He’s swimming towards the singing before he realizes it, delirious, until something closes around his ankle and drags him under. The thing under the water kills him quickly.
And then kills him again, when it doesn’t take. After the third killing, Nicolò’s on his way to being well and truly mystified (“Okay, don't panic. They all die eventually, maybe...maybe I’ll just need to do it again?”) and gives up after the fourth and fifth killing. He drags his (attempted) prey to a little sheltered island he knows about, kills it one last time just to make sure, and then watches, resigned, as the flesh heals up and the lungs push water out until it’s coughing its way back to undeniable life.
“You rescued me,” is the first thing Yusuf says to him. “Your song – it is the song of my heart. My soul.”
Nicolò...has no idea what to do with this, coughs awkwardly in reply, and leaves before he can think too hard about the warmth in his chest answering to the warmth in the human’s expressive, grateful eyes.
(He doesn’t tell Yusuf the truth about their bloody first meeting until years later. It’s too goddamn embarrassing, to be perfectly honest.)
Of course he comes back within a day, almost shamefully quickly. Unable to help being fascinated by this gorgeous, well-spoken, kind and generous human who cannot die. He starts bringing things to Yusuf: at first just fish, then interesting-shaped fragments of rock and coral, and then bits of treasure he’s collected over the years, just to hear what new poetic turn of phrase Yusuf will spout on the spot when he’s given something.
“...this is my family crest on this treasure chest, Nicolò. How strange.”
“It is the chest you said your great-great-grandfather lost,” Nicolò says, the words coming out dry and halting from long years of disuse. Watching Yusuf’s hands as he traces the elaborate lines engraved on the lid, now blurred with rust and coral. 
“That’s amazing. Truly. I am at a loss for words,” Yusuf says, smiling.
“No, you aren’t,” Nicolò says, and keeps watching so he can see the moment when the smile turns into a laugh.
Another day, he brings to Yusuf what Booker had told him was called a ‘dinglehopper’ and was what humans used to keep their hair in order, as they did not have the ocean to spread it out like beautiful seaweed in the waves. Yusuf takes it, mouth twitching in a way that makes Nicolò doubt the accuracy of Booker’s explanation. Yet Yusuf does not correct him, but in fact solemnly thanks him before offering the dinglehopper back and asking him to help untangle his riot of curls.
And so it goes. Days pass. Fascination becomes infatuation, turns to desire and then into love, until neither can imagine living without the other, and yet—
Eventually, Nicolò has to give Yusuf up. The prince is too noble and good to just abandon his people indefinitely. And because Nicolò loves him, he goes out and once more lures a ship in with his song, but not to dash it to pieces on jagged rocks this time. He leads them to the island. Watches from a distance as the astonished shouting begins, then back-pounding hugs and joyous celebration as Yusuf boards the ship and sails away. Watches Yusuf turn back more than once to scan the beach, clearly looking for Nicolò, but Nicolò does not follow. Instead, he watches until the ship is lost to his sight and he cannot feel the ship’s current or smell, and then he dives deep and goes to visit Merrick.
Meanwhile, Yusuf arrives back at the capital, where his other best friend, Quỳnh (immortal admiral of the navy) feels terribly guilty about the prince going overboard on his birthday. Which is why she uncharacteristically doesn’t give him shit when he comes back babbling nonsense about mermaids. Or when he spends the next few weeks moping around, writing mermaid poetry and drawing mermaid pictures.
To be fair to him, the particular mermaid he sketches over and over does look pretty striking. Otherworldly and all that. Good cheekbones. Nice pearly scales. “Fucking...giant anglerfish eyes,” Quỳnh mutters while she and Andy look over the latest pile of sketches Yusuf’s left abandoned on a library table. “Our prince has been fucking bewitched by a fucking fish.”
“Mm,” Andy agrees. 
So when Nicolò arrives at the palace one fine summer’s day – naked, his fangs smoothed away to look perfectly human, a giant emerald in one hand and a silver fork in the other – and walking, on legs, it causes a bit of an uproar.
“You still smell like the sea,” Yusuf says hoarsely into Nicolò’s neck, the two of them wrapped around each other as closely as two bodies can be.
“Oh, fuck,” Andy says, lowering her axe. Quỳnh looks more closely at the dirty naked wild man their prince is embracing as if his life depends on it. Angular face. Skin encrusted with salt. Absolutely enormous piercing blue eyes. Naked, did we mention naked.
“Oh, fuck,” Quỳnh says.
“You get them separated,” Andy says. “I’ll go...get them a bath.”
The price Nicolò paid for his new human shape:
His siren song.
His immortality.
What he gets in return:
Yusuf teaching him what a dinglehopper is actually called, and what humans actually use it for.
Yusuf teaching him how to read and write his native tongue, and a few other tongues besides.
Yusuf reading poetry to him or sketching next to him on long lazy afternoons in the gardens.
The immense pleasure of intimidating the fuck out of any remaining would-be suitors for Yusuf’s hand in marriage who are still hanging around the palace for some reason.
“I am Nicolò di Genova,” Nicolò replies to the marquis’s indignant demands – predator’s smile still frightening even without endless rows of needle-sharp teeth. “You have seven days to leave this place forever. Get your affairs in order.”
Friendship with Andy and Quỳnh.
“Holy shit. Did he just—”
“—stab the marquis with a fork, at dinner, in front of the entire court? Yep.”
“...”
“...”
“New best friend.”
“Obviously.”
Yusuf writing poetry about him and to him. Nicolò likes them all. He wouldn't know a good human poem from a bad human poem, but nothing Yusuf touches could be bad, so ergo it's good.
Sightseeing throughout the kingdom with Yusuf’s strong, gentle fingers twined around his.
Yusuf breathing blissful curses into Nicolò’s ear, exactly like he used to do on their island, as they move together on his enormous bed.
Yusuf. Yusuf. Yusuf.
(Booker is also there. He insisted on being turned human, too, and coming along to make sure Nicolò doesn’t totally fuck this up, but he’s really mainly there for the entertainment. And the booze. Andy asks him at one point about losing his immortality. He shrugs. “Look, if we die, we die,” he says, then offers Andy another pour of fine French brandy. The two of them get along famously.)
It’s all going great until one night on the beach, while they’re walking along hand-in-hand under the stars and idly discussing human and merfolk constellations. Someone approaches them, dressed splendidly and moving with arrogant grace. He is also angular, also fair-haired, also possessed of unsettling eyes. And he has Nicolò’s siren song, gently humming from the shell that adorns his neck.
“Merrick,” Nicolò hisses as Yusuf’s eyes grow glazed and blank, and he tightens his hand on Yusuf’s, afraid for the first time. “Our deal—”
“He can’t bear the idea of living forever without you, can he? And so he hasn’t proposed,” Merrick says, smiling cruelly. “You’ve missed your chance. He’s mine.” And he extends his hand out to Yusuf—
Who stirs, suddenly, and turns to Nicolò. “Limpid, or shimmering?” 
“What?”
“Shimmering,” Yusuf decides, peering into Nicolò’s eyes. “Yes. Limpid would be too pretentious, I think.”
And that’s pretty much that – we don’t actually get the plot with Merrick the Sea Witch because Yusuf only has eyes for one weird-looking white guy. Also, his one artistic failing is that he's tone deaf.
They do eventually kill Merrick because true love wins out and we are all about those happy endings, Grimm’s can suck it, etcetera, so Nicolò gets his immortality and his siren song back. He’s also back to being a merman, but Yusuf does not care. “I could paint your beautiful tail for the rest of my life, my love, and still fail to capture the luminous iridescence of you,” he murmurs, stroking said tail with tender fingers. The last person to touch Nicolò’s tail got his hand bitten off. Here and now, Nicolò runs his claws through Yusuf’s hair, clicking deep and happy in his throat.
(“This is weird, right?” Quỳnh asks from where she and Andy are busy scraping evil kraken guts off their armor, a prudent distance down the beach from the lovers. “I’m not the only one who thinks it’s weird?”
Andy says nothing, just offers Quỳnh the rest of her bottle of vodka. This is why Quỳnh loves her so.)
(The wedding is a nightmare, at least according to the palace chef charged with cooking the wedding feast. “What is this, this, abomination? What in heaven’s name have you brought into my kitchen!”
“Tubeworm,” Booker says. “Considered a fine delicacy among our people. Don’t worry about it.”)
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metinthehallway · 4 years
Text
It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Hello! Here is a simple little 3.5k fic! I thank @goldenbluesuit for hosting this spectacular fic challenge! I love what I've read so far and I can’t wait to keep reading. Also, thank you to @lilacobscure and @arrogantstyles for beta-ing and just being...awesome. I hope you all like it. :) 
Warnings: mention of the word bloke from a non-Brit
Annie has had it. She’s holding two of her fluffiest pillows against both of her ears and has her white noise machine droning on at full volume. And she can still hear the sultry bass of Andy Williams singing his little heart out. She can hear him as clear as day, as if he were performing his very own live concert in the corner of her bedroom. Don’t even get her started on the Christmas lights. Annie had actually gone out and bought an eye mask in order to sleep, as her windows faced the neighbors front yard where Annie’s neighbor, apparently, was the sole reason their local supermarket was sold out of blow up decorations and string lights. 
Harry Styles didn’t even have a lot of real estate to work with in terms of space. But he really made every centimeter count. One morning mid-November, whilst getting her mail, Annie counted about fourteen deflated pop-up corpses staked to the frozen ground, multiple candy canes lining his driveway that were about half the size of her, and masses of tangled lights strung up across every visible square inch of his home. If that wasn’t enough, he had a carefully crafted playlist he turned on every night at eight p.m. sharp that was approximately three hours and forty-nine minutes long before it looped back to the beginning song. She thought, fleetingly, that she should invest in ear plugs.
Annie prides herself on being a patient and understanding person. The only reason why she hasn’t held a covert operation at three in the morning to mercilessly stab a hole in each blow-up, or cut every single criss-crossed wire, or even ambush her neighbor while he walks out his front door in nothing but a fuzzy pink robe and no shoes, demonstrating that universal, oh shit the ground is cold, oh shit, oh shit, jerking walk, is because he only recently moved in next door. She was not about to be the one to ask him to maybe take it easy on the city’s power source, that she also needs electricity for her home, and also how do you fall asleep with this godforsaken music?
Annie is not prideful in this moment. All it takes for her to snap is hearing, “It’s the hap-happiest season of all,” for the forty-fifth time. With a loud groan, she tears off her beautiful, beautiful down comforter and stomps into her shoes, scaring Cindy, her sleeping Persian cat, off the bed. It’s two thirty-six in the morning, she realizes in a far off thought that doesn’t seem to make it to the forefront of her brain, and makes her way over to Harry’s front door. She has the immature urge to punch a smiling Santa sat atop a sleigh filled with presents as she passes it. All the lights are off in his house and Annie doesn’t feel a bit of remorse as she raises a half-asleep arm and slams it against the sturdy oak door of Harry’s house. For a full minute, it’s silent and there appears to be no movement from behind the door. A sliver of apprehension begins to worm its way into Annie’s bones. 
There’s a better way to do this, Annie. Like, in daylight, during normal people hours. 
She starts to turn on her heel, continuing her internal chastising and also external chastising, muttering to herself like a lunatic, when she hears the tell-tale creak behind her and a porch light flickering to life. Annie stands there, her right hand over her eyes, shielding them from the harsh yellow rays. She can make out Harry’s figure, dressed in flannel pajama pants that look like they were previously crumpled on his bedroom floor, a white T-shirt on backwards and inside out, and his signature pink fuzzy robe. His hair sticks up hazardously, sort of like a halo illuminated by the bulb behind him. His eyes are puffy, brows furrowed together and indenting a line in the center of his forehead. Lips as pink as a rose purse together as nostrils flare.
“Is there something I might be able to help you with?” Harry asks, a slight lilt to his gravelly voice. It’s a polite enough question, however it holds an air of carefully restrained annoyance. For a moment, Annie thinks she would be annoyed as well if someone pounded at her front door in the wee hours of a Tuesday morning. She quickly dismisses the thought, actually raising her hand in the air and waving it off as if it was a tangible thing. Harry raises one eyebrow. 
“Good evening, well- morning, my name is Annie. I live next door, I’m twenty-two Ambrose Ave,” Annie starts. She doesn’t know why she announces her house number. She watches his eyes flick to his right where an engraved twenty-four lies, and back to hers. Annie shakes her head slightly before launching into a speech she never prepared.
“I’m here because I think the way you decorate is rude. Do you think, at all, of your neighbors? How do you fall asleep? Do you even have a job?! I never see you leave your house! Not that I’m keeping tabs, I’m just genuinely worried for your electric bill,” she continues, pausing to take a breath. “I have not had a single good nights rest since you started all of this, back in November. I have never hated the sound of Andy Williams’ voice more deeply than I do this holiday season.”
“Excuse me—,”
“Ah-ah! I’m not done, sir. Some of us are employed and have to work at eight a.m., some of us have cats that wake us up in the ass-crack of dawn anyway with their screeches and need all the sleep we can get. Do you know I had to buy a sleep mask because of you? Because of,” she pauses, a red rotating light from a candy cane passing over her face ominously as she turns around and gestures wildly to the commotion around her, “all this?”
“Can I just say—,”
“And the music. Are you eighty years old? The least you could do with this god-awful playlist is add some Mariah Carey, some Buble; even Ariana Grande has some sick Christmas tunes. The ones you chose haven’t been remastered since nineteen thirty-eight,” she finishes, eyes a little too wide, hair disheveled and falling in her face. Her hands are shaking and her heart is beating entirely too fast. Confrontation has never been Annie’s strong suit, evident of the lack of response from Harry as she cuts him off throughout the duration of her mini rant. He just peers back at her, face as still as stone as an uncomfortable silence falls between them. Frosty the Snowman rears its nasty head and Annie finds herself slowly closing her eyes and clenching her fists.
The second Annie starts to open her eyes, she hears the light closing of Harry’s front door and two locks click into place. She stands there, mouth slightly open as the early December chill works its way into her bones. She stares ahead of her and a murderous look takes over her face, cheeks red with the winter wind, lips chapped and tears starting to form on her lash line from the cold.
“What a fucking prick,” Annie mutters to herself. He can’t even respond to her? How childish. She turns around slowly, walking back through the winter wonderland, feeling defeated. She didn’t know what she expected to feel after finally expressing her thoughts, but she knew defeated was not it. 
As she crosses the threshold into her home, she thinks, maybe I could’ve handled that better. Annie prides herself on her patience. She was not patient that night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over the course of the month, Annie and Harry bump into each other way more than either of them would like. Once, when the mailman dropped off her mother’s monthly care package to Harry’s house, another when Annie had to begrudgingly ask to borrow his shovel when she found her car snowed in one early morning and a broken handle on her own. 
They’ve even begun to see each other in the aisles of their local supermarket. Annie enters the store, unsuspecting and looking for ingredients to make her world renowned charcuterie boards for a work fundraiser. She stops in her tracks and almost drops her jar of green olives when she sees a familiar head of frizzy brown hair. 
Harry is hyper-focused, reading the back of a spray cheese can. Annie tries to sneak by him and grab a box of herb filled crackers. Tries. She is unsuccessful, however, when her purse strap catches on a display and yanks her arm backwards, making her lose grip of the glass jar. Everything seems to happen in slow motion, as she watches the jar sail past Harry and hit the ground, glass exploding all over his shoes. The chattering happening around her ceases, as all of the blood in her body travels to her face. 
“Clean up in aisle four,” deadpans a nearby worker dressed in a horrid shade of neon green. He sighs heavily, murmuring under his breath that he doesn’t get paid nearly enough to be picking up all of these olives. 
Annie is mortified. She is unable to tear her focus away from Harry’s soaked suede shoes.  It’s only when he clears his throat and shifts his feet that she raises her head.
“I see… that you’ve really got a vendetta against me,” Harry scoffs, eyes trained on his feet, where the olive juice has to be seeping into his socks. No one likes wet socks. 
“That was completely on accident! I swear! Why is that display sticking three feet into the aisle anyway? That has to be a a safety violation,” Annie pushes out in a rush. There doesn’t seem to be enough air for her lungs in this store. Especially not with Harry now looking intensely at her, almost like he could see right through her. She folds under his gaze.
“It’s okay. I didn’t like these shoes much, to be fair,” Harry shrugs. 
“Really?”
“No,” Harry says. 
“Oh. Well, I can buy you a new pair. How much did you pay for those?” Annie asks, pulling out her wallet.
Harry raises a single eyebrow, the left corner of his mouth turning up and a dimple appearing out of thin air. 
“Too much. Really, it’s fine. The juice is translucent enough. I’ll just use them as house slippers,” he says. He opens his mouth to continue, but is interrupted by the loud squeaking of a bucket skidding across the floor. The neon green worker returns, a dingy looking mop in hand and a frown on his face. His free hand makes the shoo motion to Harry, starting to swipe at the floor, completely ignoring the glass scratching the linoleum that’s mixed in with the olives.
“Do you want any help?” Annie offers, stepping forward to at least pick up the larger shards scattered across the floor. The worker, whose name tag reads Roger, holds up a single pointer finger in her direction and shakes his head. Annie takes the hint, while Harry just shifts his gaze between Roger and the mess on the tiles, mouth somewhat agape. She nudges his shoulder with her own and gestures with her head for them to leave the aisle. 
Annie makes her way up to self-checkout, Harry following suit. They ring their items up in silence next to each other. They find themselves walking through the front door together, and it’s only when they’re outside in the sunshine that Harry lets out the deepest belly laugh Annie has ever heard. 
“Oh my god, my toes are so wet,” Harry says in between breaths. “Did you see the way that bloke’s vein was popping out of his neck? I thought he was about to commit second degree murder right in the condiment aisle.”
Annie’s heartbeat starts to pick up and she begins to laugh along with him. Tears form in both of their eyes and they sparkle in the cold afternoon sunlight. 
“I feel so bad! I don’t even like olives. They were just for my stupid charcuterie boards,” Annie says, laughter dying down. She sighs, wiping at her cheeks. She looks up, meeting Harry’s eyes. He looks down at her, smile fading slowly but his face still holding traces of warmth. 
“Well, I should be heading home. See you soon,” Harry bids his goodbye. Annie nods her head in his direction and turns, palming her keys and unlocking her car across the parking lot with a chirp. She unloads her groceries into the trunk and slides into the drivers seat, thinking for a brief moment about the shape of Harry’s smile. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The snow outside is falling. And it’s falling hard. So heavy and consistent that the power lines are drooping underneath the weight and the electricity in Annie’s house is flickering in and out. It’s Christmas Eve and all she wants to do is sleep the night away, then sleep the morning away, then sleep the weekend away. She draws back a curtain and peers at Harry’s lawn, the usual eyesore dark and covered in a blanket of sparkling white snow.
A sharp crack and the sound of something large tumbling to the ground close to Annie’s house makes both her and Cindy jump, eyes alert and tail all puffed out. She goes to open her front door to investigate and sees Cindy dart between her legs a second too late, a gray blur running into the stormy night.
“CINDY!” Annie yells, voice carrying eerily across the empty street. She takes off after the small cat, wearing only her pajamas and a pair of worn slippers. Annie loses her immediately in the snowfall. While outside, she sees the huge tree limb that fell onto Harry’s front yard, covering a third of his decorations, deeming a good chunk of them broken. She wonders for a short second why he hasn’t come out to check on the noise. 
Annie’s heart starts to race as she tries to get a rein on her growing panic. Cindy is a strictly indoor cat, only having been outside for vet visits. She thinks of what would bring her cat back home, yelling her name sweetly and kissing her teeth loudly. She starts to walk towards the tree line, snapping her fingers and chattering her teeth. 
“Annie?” She hears her name being called out from behind her. She throws her head over her shoulder and locks eyes with Harry, standing there in his infamous robe. He’s got his face turned away from the harsh wind and his face is scrunched up in confusion. “What on Earth are you doing out here?! Are you mental?” 
“Cindy got out! I don’t know where she went. She ran in this direction. She never goes outside, I don’t know what to do,” Annie exclaims, feeling the urge to tear at her hair. 
“Who’s Cindy?” Harry asks.
“My cat! She was scared by the branch falling and snuck right past me when I opened the door,” she explains, arms crossing over her chest as the chill of the night bites at her skin. She shivers, turning back towards the trees. They look like they’re beginning to come alive.
Harry looks her up and down and comes up behind her, wrapping that godforsaken robe around her shaking frame. She looks up at him, grateful for the extra layer. He has a serious look on his face, determined with a mix of compassion, and also curiosity. Annie is suddenly relieved that she has someone with her to handle the situation with more calm than she ever could.
“Why don’t you go inside and grab her favorite treats? And a blanket she loves? Something that smells like you would be best,” Harry says, listing off the necessary items as if he’s done this before. She looks at him, a bit puzzled, and he reads her expression easily.
“Our cats growing up were professional escape artists. I’ve done this once or twice,” he lets out a small chuckle. She nods and heads towards her house, grabbing everything they need and changing into a pair of winter boots and shrugging on a coat, shoving Harry’s robe towards him. 
“I got everything. Here’s your robe,” Annie says, unable to meet his eyes. She already feels indebted to him, and they haven’t even found Cindy yet. “Thank you for helping me. I’m just… scared,” she confesses, tears starting to well up. She presses her fists into her eyes roughly as if she could stop them from falling. 
Harry just nods, takes the garment, and starts shaking the treat bag. His deep voice carries into the night more than hers did as he walks around, zig-zagging across the snow. Annie holds Cindy’s favorite blanket that resides on her bed and wraps it around her. She follows Harry, both chorusing, Cindy! Cindy, baby! Come back! It’s too cold for you out here!
They walk the perimeter of Annie’s house, keeping to the tree line, when Harry shushes her. He stops in his tracks and listens to the silent night. Faintly, from the direction of Harry’s house, comes a small mewl. He walks briskly over, slowing his movements as he gets closer in order not to scare the small Persian. 
“Cindy? Where are you girl? Come out for your mama,” Harry half-whispers, half-shouts. He’s still shaking the treats lightly, starting to open them. From their right they can hear a crumpling of plastic, a flash of gray shooting out from underneath the collapsed blow-up of Santa on his sleigh. Annie cries out in relief as Cindy comes running towards them at full speed, crashing right into Harry’s legs. He scoops her up swiftly with one hand and holds a treat out to her in his other. 
“You had me so worried, Cindy! I cannot believe you. You want nothing to do with the outside world but decide to run out into the coldest night we’ve had so far! You’re crazy,” Annie half-sobs, holding the cats face in two hands. Cindy shakes the snow out of her fur and licks at Annie’s nose. Harry watches the interaction, feeling something unfolding in his own chest. He gestures for Annie to take her cat, picking long hairs out of his robe.
“I see everything’s all in order here, I’ll just—oh,” Harry lets out a grunt as this peculiar woman collides into his body, cat trapped between the two of them and licking at the pink fuzz surrounding Harry as if she were grooming a kitten. His eyes go a bit wide, arms frozen around Annie while she releases a string of, thank you so much, you have no idea how much she means to me, you didn’t have to do this but you did so I owe you, I’m sorry for what I said that night, I’m sorry about the olive juice, thank you, thank you, thank you, muffled into his chest. His hands find themselves resting on her back, stroking up and down in a means to calm her.
“Hey, hey… it’s okay. I know what it feels like. I’m glad she was okay,” Harry soothes. Annie pulls away, and a strange longing passes through his heart. He frowns slightly and clears his throat. 
“I’m going to go to bed now, and get this little gremlin inside. Thank you so much, Harry. I really do appreciate it, more than you know,” Annie says, a bit breathless. Snowflakes lay themselves to rest upon her eyelashes, lips pink from the cold and Harry has the innate urge to tuck a piece of unruly hair behind her ear. He blinks, forcing himself out of his head.
“Really, it’s no problem. I’ll be heading in as well. See you soon, Annie,” Harry declares. Annie realizes with a jolt that Harry just said her name for the first time. She’s suddenly overheating, and gives a single nod, holding Cindy tight to her body as she walks up the few steps to her front door. Harry watches her leave, only taking his eyes off her when he can’t see her anymore. He then turns around, looking at the demolition of his lawn. He inhales deep. 
“Fuck.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry does a double take when he sees Annie outside his home the next morning, attempting to break apart the large tree branch. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the remainder of the season, Harry and Annie spend an inordinate amount of time together. From binge-watching their guilty pleasure TV shows to roaming the streets downtown at midnight, sharing the same love for empty places. It seemed as though, somewhere in the universe, a story began to unravel itself.
As the last snowflake melts on the first stem emerging from the soft ground, Harry kisses Annie. He wasn’t even planning on it. It was like second degree murder. He found himself looking at her looking at the bluest sky, the sky looking back at her like it wanted to kiss her as well; so he kissed her first. 
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aerielz · 4 years
Note
Cj/Toby - Fluff #4?
“Shut up and hold me.”
This was supposed to have been out yesterday. It was also supposed to be just around three hundred words. Guesstimates are not my forte.
I had no idea where to go with it, so it ended up taking an interesting turn. Hope it still counts as fluff? Thanks so much for the prompt!
It starts with something stupid that Josh says, as many things have for so long, now, and probably will for the rest of his life, if he’s lucky enough.
Toby pushes him into accepting a guest lecture at Columbia, claiming that a few days outside of DC might do him good, and he accepts it, much to his surprise.
He hasn't seen Josh in a while, and the distance makes itself clearer and more acute while he watches Josh take the stage and command the auditorium with an authority he's never displayed before. A kinder, softer, authority. He has a gentler hand, now, a more apt hand to steer questions into answers and world views into realities.
He's changed, and later, when Toby asks about Donna, he's made fully aware of how much she's changed too. How much Sam changed. He feels a little bit stranged, then. Far away from the new world they've made, far away from them. Even if Josh is right there in front of him.
He's alright— he really is. This loneliness, he's used to it by now. But he's been wondering, these days, if this is what Andy meant, so many years before.
Maybe the question is apparent, because Josh says—
“You should see someone."
He scoffs, “Are you really going to stand there and tell me a woman is the solution to my problems— unbelievable.”
Josh chuckles a laugh, “No— I mean. Well. It wouldn’t hurt to get out of the shell for once, you know—”
“Why are we having this conversation, again?”
“—but I mean a therapist.”
He huffs and grumbles, and says thanks but no thanks, and changes the subject, and two weeks later he’s sitting in a beautifully furnished room inside a brownstone somewhere uptown, listening as his new therapist tells him that it wasn’t healthy — wondering why the fuck it is that he decided to pay any sort of attention to Josh Lyman.
“Excuse me?,” he says, half laughing.
She shrugs, “It wasn’t.”
Only he doesn’t need anyone to tell him that, does he?
The White House, a traumatic experience? Of course not, he says, mouth full of barbed sarcasm, “I’ve only lost my family and the better portion of my reputation— not to mention any peace of mind I can claim to have ever had and whatever was left of my hair.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she deadpans, “you still have plenty of hair.”
“Thank you, but I think I’m still more interested in, you now, all the other stuff?"
“Well, can’t help you there. You said it yourself, that’s all gone.”
This type of frankness is something he’s more used to listening to in his own voice. And someone else’s, but he doesn’t want to think about her. He's managed to not think about her for months now, he’s not about to start.
“I see I’m getting my money’s worth of good life advice.”
“Toby—,” she says, leaning forward, ”it’s gone. It’s not coming back. And you knew that would happen when you leaked the—”
“This is not about that.”
“—but I think it is. I think it is and if you want me to help you then you have to stop trying to bullshit me,” she says, dead serious, but with an amused smile on her lips. “Otherwise we’re in for fifty minutes of verbal sparring a week and I'm sure you’ve had eight years too many of that.”
It's after the first month that he allows himself to picture her face again. It's a memory. The day she found out.
"Once you said you lost your family," his therapist says that week.
"Yeah," he answers, "in more ways than one."
"What do you mean?"
And that's how he learns a thing or two about opening up and about emotional honesty. That easily. By just deciding to.
He hates it. Almost makes the decision to go back, too.
Then he calls Andy for the first time in seven months, instead of the other way around—
"Tobias!," she says, before he can get a word in, "I couldn't understand shit of what you wrote in that last article, but I'll applaud any attempt at academically calling out congress on our bullshit. When's the next one due? Oh, and Huck and Molly are going nuts about the whole summer in New York thing, won't shut up about it."
— and wonders if his isolation wasn't a little bit self inflicted.
"Just because what you had is gone, doesn't mean you can't have something else," his therapist says. "Don't you have a new reputation, now? Haven't you found some peace again?"
"Hair's still gone."
"Well, you said you preferred the other things."
Can't have everything, he says, he thinks, to himself and remembers of her voice.
"No, no, you can," his therapist answers, having heard him very well, "Just can't have the same thing twice."
It takes him years to understand that one. It takes a beautiful, blue, envelope in his desk, his name written on it in fancy calligraphy.
It takes seeing Josh place his hands on the small of Donna's back, like he's watched him do so many times. It takes Donna's exasperated smile, her eye roll, the naked affection playing in Josh's face. The slender ring on their fingers that's somehow a contrast to the walls of the East Wing ballroom. It takes everything that's always been there being now so completely different.
It takes the sight of her, coming from the other side of the room in a green dress that makes her tanned skin shine golden.
The pain of longing is there, surrounding his heart, threatening to wash over him, but he finds it that he likes what the distance did to them. There's a lightness to him that wasn't there before. And her smile is brighter, somehow.
They walk towards each other like drawn by gravity — naturally, inevitable, painlessly.
"Oh, God, I missed you," he lets out with a laugh.
She laughs, too. CJ laughs the laugh of recognition, and it's light and beautiful and a little bit shy, and he's falling in love with her again before he can even name the feeling.
"I don't think I've ever heard you say something like that so openly," she comments. He finds himself shy, too. It's a delicious feeling, the giddy happiness that washes over him. “Who are you and what have you done to—”
“Just— shut up and hold me, will you?," he retorts.
She steps into his arms, sinking into the warmth of his embrace. He encircles her tight, fitting himself around her and remembering the size of her against him like he would a rhyme from a childhood song. Uncertainly, bathed in tentative affection.
"Gladly," she says, against his neck.
The familiarity of it clashes with his newfound internal honesty, with the walls of the White House, with the reality that he doesn't owe anyone anything. "Don't let go."
"Wasn't planning to."
She clings to him, a little bit, unashamed to do so.
And he likes it best. Whatever this new thing is that he has now, he thinks he likes it best.
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nevermindirah · 4 years
Text
Ok it's Jewish Booker o'clock, I can no longer stop myself, let's do this!
Why Jewish Booker? Dude was born in Marseilles in 1770, which happens to be a FASCINATING time and place in Jewish history, and it adds ridiculous layers to his character (without excusing a damn thing). Alternately just because I think he’s neat :)
Jewish Booker headcanons that make me happy:
not to be all "real Jews do X" but Jews fuck with candles hard. Book of Nile thrives on old/modern analog/digital giggles. Booker lighting Shabbat candles, lighting yarzeit (memorial) candles for his wife and sons (sob), lighting a menorah, lighting candles just because he's feeling emotional even though it's not chag (a holiday) or a yarzeit and Nile thinks he's trying to be sexy but he's really just in his feelings. just like. so many candles.
maybe Booker was the person who punched Richard Spencer at Trump's inauguration, just bringing back that time somebody punched a famous neonazi in the street and said neonazi has all but stopped appearing in public after a few rounds of public punching
were the Old Guard in Charlottesville in 2017? how many times has Booker the Blond Jew infiltrated North American white nationalist / Klan type activities and then stolen their weapons and/or killed them? likewise there's plenty of horrifying white nationalist shit happening across Europe this century, how many Pim Fortuyn types has he been involved in taking down? (I Am Of Course Not Endorsing Violence TM ;) ;) )
SINGING. Mattias Schoenaerts sings in Away From the Madding Crowd but it's church shit, sigh, anyway he has a nice voice. a lot of Jewish prayer is sung/chanted (depending on when/where you are and the gender rules of the community you're in) and there’s been a lot of innovation to Jewish singing in Booker’s lifetime, and I just want Nile to overhear him singing to himself on Friday afternoons
Nile Freeman was four years old when The Prince of Egypt came out, she grew up on that shit, she would want to introduce her new family to that shit. Please join me in picturing Booker, Nicky, Joe, and Andy all shouting "that's not how it happened!!" throughout this beautiful nightmare of a movie with lovely animation and songs but where white people voice most of the Egyptian and Jewish characters, because Booker Nicky and Joe's religious texts all frame the Exodus story a little differently and Andy was probably there when it happened (except for how it didn't actually happen it's an important story but it's just a story pls just let me giggle about Andy being super old)
Read below the cut for sad Jewish Booker headcanons, French Jewish history (mostly sad), context on antisemitism (enraging/sad), and all the way to the very end for a himbo joke.
Jewish Booker headcanons, I made myself sad edition:
he is a forger. who was alive. in 1939. visas. VISAS. V I S A S. how many of us did he save? how many more could he have saved if he didn't sleep that night? how heavily does that weigh?
how do we think he BECAME a forger? most likely he was doing what he needed to do to support his family, which gets extra poignant if he was also trying to help his people, forging documents as well as money even during his mortal life
Booker raised Catholic by crypto-Jews adds ANOTHER layer to the forgery thing, no shit he'd get good at falsifying paperwork and coming up with plausible cover stories
do we know how Booker made it back home after his first death in 1812? his route between the Russian Empire and Provence in 1812 would've been a patchwork of laws about Jews, in case starvation and frostbite weren't enough for him to have to deal with, he's blond and could maybe get away with pretending not to be Jewish if he had to, alternately maybe synagogues and yeshivot took him in on his way home
the structural and sometimes-interpersonal dynamics of antisemitism cause many individual Jews to experience feelings of teetering on the fence between a valued member of a not-exclusively-Jewish community and a scapegoat/outcast/problem. HOLY SHIT BOOKER. "what do you know of all these years alone" is the most Jewish loneliness-in-a-crowd shit I've ever heard. fear that we're not wanted, or only wanted so long as we're useful — that's something that basically all people struggle with under capitalism, but it's especially poignant for many Jews because of the particular way antisemitism operates. (NOTE this can tip from a legit Jewish Booker reading to woobification of the sad white man who couldn't possibly be held responsible for his own actions because he's so sad, which, NOPE. it's very understandable for him to feel left out and misunderstood and not as wanted, as the youngest and not part of an immortal couple and maybe Jewish, but NONE OF THIS excuses his betrayal.)
Crusaders murdered a lot of Jews on their way to the ~holy land~. how many of Booker's people did Nicky kill on his way to kill Joe's people? has Booker ever actually talked to either of them about it?
I read this really beautiful fic about Joe needing to circumcise himself after getting run over by a cart (ouch) — this is a hell of a thing for Joe and Booker to have in common
just generally Jewish Booker adds more layers to him and Joe so clearly being such close friends, ugh that look Joe gives him when they're leaving the bar at the end of the movie, and I very much do not mean this in a gross Arab-Israeli-conflict way because Joe is Amazigh not Arab and Booker is Jewish not Israeli (and also a lot of Jews are Arabs) (but most importantly there's no ~eternal conflict~ between Muslims and Jews) (more about OP Is Not A Zionist below)
like, the UK and France (and to a certain extent Italy) carved up the former Ottoman Empire after WWI; among other things, the UK took Palestine, and they could've worked on eradicating European antisemitism so Jews wouldn't have to leave but instead they used their control of Palestine to encourage Zionist emigration of Jews out of Europe, and France took what is now Iraq, which has some pretty direct implications for US military involvement in that country in Nile's lifetime; France colonized Tunisia in the late 19th century and still held it during the Vichy era which means Tunisian Jews were subject to Nazi anti-Jewish laws which is just layers upon layers of colonial racist Islamophobic and antisemitic nightmares for Joe and Booker to live through
to be crystal clear before anybody gets ooh Muslim-Jewish conflict up in here, antisemitism is an invention of European Christians that they imported to the places they colonized, the European colonial powers encouraged Zionism because it was easier for them to encourage Jews to leave Europe and set us up as middle agents between the colonial powers and the ~scary brown people~, the Ottoman Empire and other Muslim governments historically have had a second-class citizenship category for non-Muslims that rankles my American first amendment freedom of religion sensibility but was very much not targeting Jews specifically, and these two men who've lived for a long-ass time through many varieties of geopolitical awfulness (and alongside a certain unwashed Crusader who has since learned his lesson) would have Things To Say about how our current mainstream discourses frame these things
getting off my soapbox and back to this action movie I'm trying to talk about, the ANGST of Booker's exile, which is simultaneously a very valid decision for Andy Joe and Nicky to make, an extremely long time for Nile who is only 26 years old to be separated from the one person on the planet in a position to really understand the crisis she's going through, and holy shit expelling a Jew from your group when he's already been expelled from mortality and his family and being expelled from places and continually having to start over somewhere new is THE curse of surviving through antisemitism, OUCH MY FEELINGS
Some French Jewish history:
France, like basically all of Europe, periodically expelled its Jews, but Provence (where Marseilles is) wasn't legally part of France during the expulsions up through 1398 so Provence had a continuous active Jewish community; about 3,000 Iberian Jewish refugees ended up in Provence after the expulsions from Spain and Portugal in the 1490s
the 1498 expulsion of French Jews DID apply to Provence but many "converted" to Christianity and reestablished a Jewish community when enforcement of the expulsion chilled out (which was in the government's interest because they were really into taxing Jews at higher rates, so much so that they taxed "new Christians" at higher rates once they realized expelling Jews meant they wouldn't be around to overtax, ffs) — by the mid-18th century Provence had notable communities of Jews and crypto-Jews (forced converts and their descendants who still kept some Jewish practices in secret)
Booker would've been 21 when revolutionary France granted equal legal rights to Jews in 1791 — his mortal life and first century of immortality happens to line up almost perfectly with the timeline of legal emancipation of Jews across Europe
the American and French Revolutions happened pretty much concurrently and took different approaches to religious freedom that make Book of Nile with Jewish Booker and canon Christian Nile extra interesting — French emancipation, at least from my American sensibility, is about secularism and religion not "interfering" (hence French Islamophobic shittiness about banning hijabs), whereas American religious freedom is more of "the government can't stop me from trying to evangelize / religiously harass people at my school/workplace/etc" — to be clear I think both countries' approaches to religious "freedom" are hegemonic as shit and have devastating flaws, but they're different models that emerged at the same time in Booker's youth and Christianity is clearly a source of emotional support for Nile and there's so much to explore here
Napoleon tried to ~liberate~ the Jews of places he conquered for his dumbass French Empire, but liberation from ghettos came with strings attached (like banning us from some of the only jobs we'd been legally allowed to have for centuries, and liberating us for the stated purpose of getting us to assimilate and stop being Jews) and many places that were briefly part of the French Empire reinstated their antisemitic laws after Napoleon was gone, can you imagine being a French Jew forced to fight and die in Russian winter for that jackass and then have to trudge back through a dozen countries whose antisemitism was all riled up by French interference?
Some facts about antisemitism:
antisemitism operates differently than many other oppressions, it doesn't economically oppress the target group in the same way as antiblackness or misogyny or ableism etc — the purpose of antisemitism is to create a scapegoat to blame when European peasants are mad at the king / the church / the people actually in charge, and structural antisemitism encourages a system where some Jews become visibly successful so that those individuals and our whole community are easier to make into scapegoats
one of the historical roots of antisemitism is stuff in the Christian Bible about moneylending as sinful — Jews in medieval Europe were often barred from owning land and Christians barred from moneylending, so some Jews found work in finance and some of us became very visibly successful for working with money — a few individual Jews running a particular bank or finding success as jewelry dealers turns into "Jews control global financial systems" scapegoating — a more recent example of this is the participation of nonblack Jews in white flight and the role of Jewish landlords doing the visible dirty work of non-Jewish institutions in American antiblack housing discrimination, Nile grew up on the South Side of Chicago and would have seen some shit along these lines and might repeat hurtful ideas out of a lack of knowledge, here's Ta Nahesi Coates on some of these dynamics
Booker canonically being a forger (specifically of coins in the comics?) needs a little extra care to avoid antisemitic tropes about Jews and money, I will happily answer good-faith asks about this if you want to check on something for a fic/etc
antisemitism in the United States where I live in October 2020 isn't institutional in the sense of targeting Jews for police violence or anything like that. it IS systemic, however, for example in all the antisemitic conspiracy theories the Trump administration and several other Republicans peddle (ie QAnon), and in how the Trump administration points to support for Israel as if that means support for Jews (it doesn't, it's evangelical Christians who push the US government to support the Israeli government because they think Jews need to be in the ~holy land~ for Jesus to come back that's literally why the United States funds Israel at the level it does). antisemitism also gets weaponized to encourage white Jews (those of us of European descent, who in the United States are definitely white because the foundation of US racism is slavery and antiblackness as well as anti-indigenous genocide, maybe European Jews aren't included in whiteness everywhere but we definitely are where I live) to side with white supremacy instead of building solidarity with other marginalized people (ie a lot of mainstream Jewish groups shit on the Movement for Black Lives because of its solidarity with Palestinians)
the Nation of Islam has a major presence in Chicago and its leader Louis Farrakhan who lives in Chicago has long spread a variety of antisemitic as well as homophobic bullshit but there are genuine good reasons many Black people find meaning/support in the Nation of Islam and Nile would've grown up with that mess in the air around her, this is a good take from a Black Jew about the nuance of all that
the way the Old Guard comics draw Yusuf al Kaysani is HOLY SHIT ANTISEMITISM BATMAN I hate it please summarize the comics for me because I DO NOT WANT to look at that unnecessarily caricatured nose why the fuck did they do that human noses are beautiful there is absolutely no need to draw Joe like a Nazi would
Jews for Racial and Economic Justice is a local NYC group that recently developed a fantastic resource for understanding and fighting antisemitism (pdf) 11/10 strongly recommend
Zionism disclaimer: A lot of Jews feel strongly that we need a Jewish-majority country in order to be safe from antisemitism. I strongly disagree with this idea on its merits (Jews disagree about who is a Jew and making Jewish status a government/immigration matter means some of us are going to get left out; also non-Jews aren't fundamentally dangerous and separatism isn't going to end antisemitism) but I have a lot of empathy for the very valid fear that leads a lot of my people to Zionism. Whether I want a Jewish-majority country or not, what Israel has done and continues to do to Palestinians is a deal breaker. Emotions run very high on this subject — I spend a lot of my not-Tumblr life talking to other Jews about Zionism and I'd rather not have this Jewish Booker headcanons post become yet another place where fellow Jews yell at me in bad faith. Block me if you need to, you're not going to change my mind. Call me self-hating if you want, I know I love us.
Racism in fandom disclaimer: I feel weird about increasing the volume of meta about Booker in this fandom. Nile Freeman is the main character and deserves lots of attention and adoration from the fandom — and she deserves emotional support from as many friends and orgasms from as many partners as she wants. I think Jewish Booker makes her friendship and potential romantic relationship with him even more interesting, hence this post. Ship what you ship, but be aware of the racist impact of focusing your fandom activity on, for example, shipping two white men while ignoring awesome characters of color especially the canon man of color one of those white dudes has already been with for a millennium. Please and thanks don't use my post for shenanigans like sidelining Joe so you can ship Booker with Nicky.
Oh and a non-disclaimer fun fact, Matthias Schoenaerts was born in Antwerp which apparently has one of the largest Jewish communities still remaining in Europe?? ~Jewish Booker headcanons intensify~
In conclusion: Jewish Booker! Just because it's fun! It exponentially increases the angst of his mortal lifetime and it puts his first century of immortality smack in the middle of the most intense changes to Jewish life since the fall of the Second Temple (aforementioned emancipation, also founding of Reform Judaism, the Haskalah, Zionism, and then of course the Holocaust). It makes his relationships with Nile, Joe, and Nicky more interesting and potentially angstier and with more intense commonalities and tenderness about their differences. It's very common for Jews to not believe in God (this confuses the shit out of a lot of Christians) and this would probably have further endeared him to Andy.
One more thing: Booker as golem. (A golem is basically an earthenware robot of Jewish folklore.) He's tall and blond and the most Steve Rogers-looking of all of them and from the Himbeaux region of France. THE trope of Book of Nile is he will do WHATEVER Nile wants or needs him to do. I was today years old when I learned that Modern Hebrew speakers use golem figuratively to mean "mindless lunk" and I'm choosing to squint and read that as "hot kind and dumb as rocks" because it amuses me.
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kneamet · 3 years
Text
Delusion (1/5)
Trigger Warning: references to alcohol
Summary: she was the only girl in his band whose singing he loved so much. She was the person he truly respected. Andy Miles was someone Hank Williams had an unrelenting obsession with.
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Chapter one: Delays
POV Hank
His head was pounding. A haunting rhythm beat against the light pounding in his head. It hurt, and Hank just didn't understand how he'd ever woken up. He had never been so drunk before, not even counting the fact that he was a huge alcoholic drinker.
Yet last night he had exceeded even his own expectations. A slight dryness in his mouth was present even after he had drunk the whole glass of water that his mother had placed in front of him.
Closing his eyes tightly, straining his lids, Williams suddenly opened them, trying to blink before entering the studio where he had to play early in the morning for a small pittance.
Not that he complained much about it. No, he certainly did not want to get up from the cozy bed that kept warm and free himself from the embrace of his "beloved" wife, but his youthful heart still warmed the dream that one day he would step over the threshold of an ordinary musician and be able to achieve something worthwhile. Perhaps he wanted a confession?
It was lucky, at least, that the nausea did not reach him, since he was sure that the alcohol in his stomach would definitely be able to get out, only in an unusual way. And he didn't want to be crouching by the toilet, trying to control himself, and hearing his mother talk about how irresponsible he and Audrey, his wife, were that she didn't even have simple pills.
Pushing the brown door open with the shoulder of his free hand, Hank had already guessed how loud Mr. Pill's voice would be when he complained about being late. It doesn't matter, though. Will these few minutes play anything for airtime?
"Hi," Hank says hoarsely, feeling very tired. Yesterday he came back so late that he just couldn't do anything anymore. How long had he been asleep? A couple of hours?
Williams looked from the black-and-white tiled floor to the boys, his mouth slightly open. They looked a little rumpled, as did Hank himself. It was obvious that they were hungover, too, especially since some of them were smoking. He breathed in the smell. Marlboro? Or Chesterfield? His mind was still too foggy to accurately detect the smell of cigarettes.
The guy blinked a couple of times, as if trying to make sense of what was happening. It seemed that something was missing for an ordinary morning. It was always the same and repeated day after day. The audience apparently liked his program too much.
"Good morning, boss," came the soft voice of Sammy, who was sitting on a dark brown sofa propped up against the wall, his feet propped up on a small table. A young guy who was a guitarist in his band. He was very young, but Hank immediately considered him a good addition to the group.
"Hi, Hank," Don said, looking at the guy standing there, lighting a cigarette and rubbing his light red hair; parallel to that, the hand holding the cigarette, adjusting the glasses that were sticking up on his nose.
Williams grabs a small white mug and takes a sip of coffee. His eyes narrowed slightly. Cold coffee. Although, it is worth noting, it was refreshing, but so disgusting. Who can drink coffee cold?
Setting the cup down on the dark piano that didn't seem to have been used for a long time, Hank set the guitar case on a small, flimsy chair, taking out the instrument.
"Where's Andy?" the man asked as he took the guitar out of the hard gray case that barely fit in his car.
Andy Miles was the only girl who played in his band. She was the only one who comforted him after another quarrel with his wife. She was the only one who understood him. She was the one he had fallen in love with.
Hank didn't know if his feelings for Audrey were real, or if it was all just a multi-second infatuation. A joke that later turned into endless quarrels that always ended in nothing. However, meeting Andy definitely changed a lot in his life.
Hank could have been lyrical, but why? What is the point of expressing yourself in beautiful speeches, if you can convey it in light, superficial words? Although, if it were up to him, he would definitely dedicate the odes and all the songs that he allegedly composed for his wife to the girl of his dreams.
Clearly lost in thought, Hank was completely distracted, not even noticing that the guys were already tuning their instruments, preparing for the mat to fall on them.
"She's not here," he always had to bring his wife into the studio, pestering him about what she wanted to sing on his show. As if she could sing. As if she could do anything at all.
Hank sighed, lifting the guitar to the top and running his long fingers along the strings, wanting to adjust the rhythm and hear the sound he wanted to achieve.
I wish Andy would come soon.
"Williams," comes the loud voice of Howard Pill, heading toward the fearful Hank. He knew that his boss would speak loudly, but he did not foresee that his steely voice would be a headache. Why can't he keep his voice down? "You decided to spend 12 minutes of airtime? This shit won't go away, and you smell like a beer barrel; you all stink," Williams saw how angry the man was. Not that he would care about his anger. No, he would definitely take into account everything Howard was saying and try not to be late, but who knew this would happen today?
Do people have the right to choose what condition they wake up with in the morning? Anyway, at least let Mr. Pill take into account that he came at all. Otherwise, Hank could just drop the case and stay home.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Pill," the empty words coming out of Hank's mouth were just a defensive reaction. No, he was by no means sorry that he was late. Although listening to loud voices was a problem.
Still, it was a good thing that his mother had woken him up so early and made sure that he didn't disturb his wife's sleep. He certainly didn't want to have an increased headache when Audrey was hitting the high notes in the pen. The man blinked, looking up, trying to meet Mr. Pill's steady gaze.
"To me, these are empty words," his gaze was stern and he was clearly trying not to lose his temper. "We're working here, you idiot. And where is Miles?"
Williams pursed his lips, unable to find an answer. He knew about her love of being late, but even so, Andy was always on time. Maybe five minutes late, but Hank had the songs that could be played without another extra guitar. Although the sound of the girl's instrument has always been excellent.
"I'll throw her out of the show, I swear to God," Mr. Pill muttered softly, shaking his head and sighing. Did he dislike them that much? Or was he just jealous of the show's success? If that success ever existed.
Hank's attentive gaze followed his boss as he made his way to the recording department, a certain booth where audio tuning and recording takes place.
Right now, Hank wished Andy was here. Because I would have covered for him, going against Mr. Pill and his rules. Sometimes it seemed to Hank that she didn't care if she was on time or not. Hank was slightly weaker.
He could listen to all those menacing words being uttered against him, endure all this unthinkable humiliation, knowing that his boss would not remove this show. He knew how many listeners he had. But still, he rarely dared to say anything against his boss.
He was definitely attracted to Andy. And for the most part it was in the moral sense, because Williams himself rarely thought about the girl he loves physically. He wanted her, yes, but not in terms of sex. He didn't want a simple one-night stand. He wanted something unthinkable. He wanted pure and pure love. The kind of love his mother had told him about.
"Start the countdown," Howard Pill says, nodding his head in Hank's direction, and he just lifts his lip.
"Three, two, one," comes the clear voice of the DJ, who is already wearing headphones and completely immersed in his work, unlike the musicians, who are still hungover and intoxicated. Hank continued to feel sick.
With a deft step, Hank walked over to the microphone, smiling slightly, as if he didn't want the audience to know about the quarrels that were going on at the place they loved so much.
"Friends and listeners, I wish you a good early morning. This is Hank Williams and the Drifting Cowboys. We are very sorry that we started a little later. But yesterday we were picked up by the cops on Route 31..."
There was a slight chuckle. Hank turned his head in the direction of the sound, grinning slightly, already guessing who it was.
***
POV Andy
Feeling her legs begin to ache from running so fast, trying to get to the studio, Andy had never felt so anxious and overworked in her life.
The hangover after alcohol, she always endured steadfastly and her mind almost did not react to it, apparently already so accustomed to the dose received. No, of course, her head still ached, and her hands were constantly shaking from the alcohol, but she never felt an immediate nausea.
Her hangover was accompanied only by a headache and shaking hands, which would soon have to caress the strings of her favorite guitar, wanting to please the boss and the audience.
Pursing her lips, Miles took a quick, brisk step toward the necessary door. Unfortunately, the distance from her home to the studio was huge and so she had to wake up very early in the morning to at least have time to get there, which certainly did not please her.
She had never been flattered by the prospect of having to sleep through the early hours of the morning. And wake up for what? For the little money she lived on? Although, most likely, only the desire for the love of the public did not stop her.
She always wanted to be loved by people. She had always wanted to feel this need for human attention, for human adoration.
Blinking a couple of times, she paused at the dark door, knowing that she would probably hear Mr. Pill swear at her and threaten her when he told her that he would fire her from the show. Although these moments didn't really bother Andy.
She didn't give a damn about his opinion, which was completely out of line with hers. She would have taken it into account, but she would have continued to do things her own way. Besides, isn't that the beauty of life? Do whatever you want and not listen to people who write you some rules?
Andy chuckled, shaking her head and feeling her hands begin to shake. Again this period, if only to endure. She wished long ago that she had bought a cigarette, though she could have used one now.
"...But yesterday we were picked up by the cops on Highway 31... " came Hank's tired voice, and the girl chuckled, letting out a light and slightly hoarse chuckle. She immediately felt her friend's gaze on her and his reflected grin.
His band, which has so graciously accepted another under-performing musician into its already overstuffed line-up, dreaming that he could become famous. And this feeling in her never disappeared.
No, she often began to have feelings that it was worth putting a bolt on all this and stop, but what kept Miles from doing was believing in herself. Confidence had to be nurtured, but Andy had never felt humiliated in her life. The main credo in her life was that it was not worth giving up. Otherwise, it can turn into a disaster and bad consequences. Just like when I was a kid.
Quickly shaking her head in different directions, the girl mentally gave herself a slap on the head, feeling the burning gaze of Mr. Pill directed at her. Pulling out her guitar, the case that was currently laid on the bed, Andy looked at her boss, smiling a tight smile and walking with easy grace to the second free microphone.
"With my alcohol resistance," Andy suddenly chimed in, pulling her guitar over her neck and taking off her hat, exposing her short dark hair and running a hand through it, " I also apologize for starting so late. To be honest, my head is splitting."
Miles looked at Hank, as if telling him to continue. He nodded.
"I don't think you knew this, but yesterday we were performing in a small bar on the outskirts of town and, fortunately or unfortunately, we couldn't refuse the free alcohol offered," Hank chuckled, and there was a light laugh from the guys.
Andy grinned as she began to wrap the gauze around her fingers, not wanting them to hurt any more. It wasn't for her at all. Wrapping and protecting your fingers was an extremely important decision.
What would she do if her right hand wasn't protected? Her fingers would have been damaged.
The girl wrapped her arms around the guitar, leaning even closer to the low microphone.
"And now, anticipating your wishes, we will perform the song “Honky Tonkin'' for you. Hank wrote it not so long ago and we are sure that you will definitely like it."
Hank was a genius, and if Miles heard that, she would definitely say it was true. He was the man who continued to inspire her. The man who kept her on the case. The one who replaces her older brother.
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jellicle-jemmy · 3 years
Text
So I wrote this a little over two years ago. They are my first thoughts in watching CATS (2019)
This was written basically as soon as I got home from the theatre in 2019. I truly hope you enjoy these, as they have been gathering dust in my drafts. Now, without further ado:
These are just some of my thoughts I had while watching and my initial reaction to the film I have just watched.
Okay, first of all, me and my pals thought we were in the wrong cinema for a couple minutes because there were faaaaar too many people in the cinema
Overture:
As we all know, the music slaps and me and my pals were straight vibing as the camera panned down. 
And then the cats appeared. I legit was thinking, “wow they actually made them look like that, huh?”
I immediately identified Munk, Cass, Dem and Syllabub
SPIDER MUNK! SPIDER MUNK! DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER MUNK DOES!
fr tho why did he climb down that wall like that that’s not how cats work
Why are they surrounding her like that?? ARE THEY SUMMONING A DEMON WTF?? I’M SO DIZZY
[Victoria appears] Oh look it’s a babey
I took a forty, smashed in on the ground and yelled SCATTER
Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats
Laurie Davidson is babey 
This isn’t too bad. I like the way that this number is being handled so far
AAaaaaaaaand now it’s funky town WTF
The music just went rachachacha on us
Munk really be out here straight vibing throughout the whole song
I do like how he’s kind of leading the whole numberits fun to watch
As always, there’s my babey Syllabub
We need to talk about the feet. Or maybe we shouldn’t. Yeah let’s not.
What is with the clapping in the music? Who is clapping? The cats aren’t. The audience certainly isnt. ( @whatsajinglebellcat said “It’s the clap of their ass cheeks as they’re dancing”)
The choreography is mediocre at best, I really dislike Andy’s choreography, why are they like that?????
Francesca Hayward is babey
How is Syllabub able to hang from that position wtf, surely that hurts
Robbie Fairchild as Munk is both daddy and babey (i’m said it I’m not sorry)
The jellicles seem to be having fun at least which is nice
Macavity Dialogue Bit
That Moriarty reference flashing into a wanted poster for Macavity is beautiful thank you so much to whoever pitched that and implemented that
Ooooo Macavity already sounds interesting
Once again, Laurie Davidson as Misto is babey
Demeter and Cassandra, why are you such bitches? Dear lord
The Naming of Cats // Invitation to the Jellicle Ball
Ngl I actually really like this bit
Deadass seems like a cult initiation but we’ve long ago established that the Jellicle tribe is a cult anyway
Munkustrap ur doing so good sweetie
Victoria darling u are one in the babey club
As always, there is Syllabub straight vibing
Mr Strap, Munk that is a child, why are you dancing with her like that?!
Francesca is a stunning wonderful dancer but she should’ve been dancing by herself more
Mr Mistofelees you are such babey ur so cute darling, he’s doing so good
Munk why did you have to sing your bit and then restate it while talking we’re not stupid!
oh wait.
a lot of people still don’t get the plot
carry on, and maybe say it again
The Old Gumbie Cat (Coming from someone who has played Jennyanydots)
no
no no
no no no
no no nope not happening no
no way
don’t like that at all
why is she doing that
why does she sound like that
Munk ur doing so good but why
Why is she spreading eagle like that
why do the mice look like that
why do the roaches look like that
WHY DID SHE UNZIP HERSELF DEAR GOD MY EYES
NO FUNNY FAT CAT BOING BOING 
The Rum Tum Tugger
ooooo... this... is alright
actually
hold up
wait
why is this actually good
awww Jenny and Munk are so cute i’m glad they did munk and jenny’s friendship
Damn Tugger is fun
Okay, why is he reacting to Vic that way
Who cares this slaps
Jason Derulo was a good Rum Tum Tugger choice there I said it
Oh my god i actually love his voice
Syllabub = babey
dear god Jenny that comment about Tugger and being neutered isn’t very in character but I cackled
Jenny sweetie pls don’t try and breakdance
Okay the milk is fucking weird
this is weird
okay nvmind it’s good again
Tugger really be feeling himself in those riffs. and so he should
Grizabella The Glamour Cat
This is well handled
I really like how Griz sang her bit to the curious Victoria
I love that not everyone realised Griz was there right away
Of course, that is 
oooo Cass and Dem are feisty 
Deadass Cass seems like Grizabella’s child??!!!
Oh my god they look like the Jets or the Sharks are they about to start clicking????!!!!
Gang gang
Once again - syllabub, i see you and i love you
Dialogue Interlude
Griz went of with Maccy Boi huh?
Macavity you fuckin’ bitch
I barely remember what happened but that transition into Bustopher Jones really doesn’t fit
I think Bustopher and Jenny had a fight? Umm? Why?
Bustopher Jones
I had a real trouble keeping an eye on whats going on in this number
Why are all his ‘clubs’ just dumpsters? Like no. That’s-
That’s not really
No
JESUS CHRIST JENNY REALLY JUST WENT POOF HUH
THANOS SNAPPED THAT QUEEN
HOLY SHIT
I LITERALLY JUMPED OUT OF MY CHAIR
After that I was just watching my friend who played Bustopher to see his reaction to everything
Also why is he singing this entire number by himself
Maitre’D (or however the fuck that name is spelled) is married to Bustopher and no one can change my mind
Why is “the cat in spats” so funny, Macavity? Huh? I did like that Mac poked fun at his fashion sense rather than his weight tho
Also why did Bustopher fucking flyyyy??????
Aaaaaaaaand down the slide Veruca Salt style
Growltiger Interlude
Could’ve raised a lot of red flags with this number, but just establishing the character where all the kidnapped characters ended up, I liked
Also what did Growltiger actually do to Bustopher
And that gag about the rhyming of “aims” and “thames” ran a little too long ngl
But I liked the mauled ear on Growltiger - nice nod and detail
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
These two really said “Be gay, do crimes”
I love them
I fucking love them
And this rendition
10/10 I love this whole number
They’re a little more evil than playful but I literally don’t care because they’re awesome
The jewels on Victoria? Stan
Mungojerrie is such a cute dumb bitch and I love him so much
Their accents are so cute
The house is stunning
Victoria? Babey.
Mungojerrie? Babey.
Rumpleteazer? Babey.
This number was so much fun and is probably my favourite
And their fur designs are so cute too!
I love this song. I love the version. I love everything about it.
Mistofelees X Victoria Interlude
Once again, the twins are babey
You know who else is babey? My clumsy and adorable boy Misto
Clumsy sweetie
Wow they’re going for Mistoria huh?
Why didn’t they play up Mungo and Teazer knowing Vic before the ball? Why is there just a nod to it in when Munk asks about the jewel Vic wears
Old Deuteronomy
I adore Robbie Fairchild
Why does Old Doot appear like a new rival in a video game?
The rendering was so bad in that moment
But Munk is so sweet when Doot appears
They are mother and son, and no one can change my mind
Judi Dench really can’t sing huh...
It’s so raspy and yick
Also her coat is so odd and I hate it
Deadass she looks like an albino
Song of the Jellicles
I genuinely couldn’t tell if I liked or disliked the fact that everyone sang everything
“Meow meow meow meow” Gus dear god why
Again, we’re back into the whole cult thing
Jellicle Ball
The whole cinema lost their minds laughing through this whole choreography and I hated it
But Syllabub got some dance moves
Tugger saying “With your permission” ummm??? He is Doot’s other more feral son
The choreography was good at some points but for the most part it was eh
The music is bangin’ tho
And then they all died lmao
Memory
WHY DOES GRIZ HAVE SO MUCH SNOT
that is all
PART 2 COMING SOON
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alkaysani-archived · 4 years
Text
The Old Guard Fanfic Master List
*updated* 15 Oct 2020
MAIN SERIES
AS OUR LOVE SHAPES OUR UNIVERSE  (Nicky x Joe - Princess Diaries AU)
to love is to sacrifice, to sacrifice is to love 
“Prince Yusuf Al-Kaysani,” Charlotte says, and she’s sighing dreamily again and Yusuf definitely has that effect on people. “That young man gets my vote,” Joseph says from behind him. “He goes by Joe sometimes, so he’s definitely of good stock,” he says, and Nicky snorts. “A brilliant one, amazing artist, charismatic. He’s dedicated himself as the right-hand and advisor to his queen mother, and has fully supported his younger sister taking the throne instead of him. He’s friends with Nicolo,” he says, and Nicky blinks, shrugging a little, and his heart starts to go wild in his chest in a way he doesn’t want to understand. “We spent two years of secondary together,” he whispers, glancing at Mia. “Uh…just before they passed, he had to move back home, and I…” he trails off, sighing. --- or the Princess Diaries II AU where Prince Nicolo will do anything for Genovia. And if that means introducing his cousin Princess Mia to Prince Yusuf Al-Kaysani to be her future king, then his heart just has to deal with it. He just wished that it didn’t hurt so much.
i will hold your heart together in mine 
“You love me now, right?” “Forever more, my darling,” Joe chokes out, and it takes on a whole new meaning that makes his own ache. “Then my heart will heal,” Nicolo says, and his voice is firm, and fierce, under the exhaustion. “The symptoms will fade, in time. They will,” he adds, his voice muffled against his shoulder. He pulls away and looks up at Joe with wide, glassy eyes. “The universe won’t be so cruel to me to take me away now, when I am finally happy, right?” he says, and Joe burst into tears then, shaking his head, grabbing Nicolo’s face and kissing him, deeply. No. No. He won’t think of it. He won’t think of losing Nicolo. Not again. Not like this. *** or where Prince Yusuf learns the physical extents of Nicolo’s heartbreak, months after they were meant to be fine. But regardless of how much it ails him, his beloved Nicolo continues to have faith that he will be alright. So he must brave through his fears and his worries, as they grow, and build a life and a family, together. Even if it breaks their hearts again. And again. And again.
black cats and lopsided hearts (Joe x Nicky) - 30 Oct 2020
“Permission to keep killing your fiancé with cuteness due to Halloween costumes, please?” Mia asks, and she’s giving Nicolo those eyes again, and this time, Nicolo bites his lip, glancing at Joe. “It might be fun, beloved. It’ll only be for a night,” he reasons, and Nicolo sighs then, nodding his head. “For you, heart.” *** or The Old Guard Princess Diaries AU – Halloween Special where Mia convinces Nicolo and Yusuf to let her dress up one and a half-year old twins Elio and Ayla for this very American holiday.
ONE-SHOTS & STAND-ALONES
JOE x NICKY
not that i need reminding 
“You look in love.” Joe blinks, looking up at the voice. There’s a woman, a little younger than Nile, or maybe just her age, sitting beside him on the bench now. She’s smiling at him, and he gives her what he hopes is an equal one, before nodding softly, gently tapping his pencil on his sketchbook. He knows the answer, of course he does. Yes. He is in love. Truly, madly, deeply, or however they say it. He knows all of this already. But he’s willing to play. “And how does that look?” --- or joe gets a vibe check from the universe.
to know those among us 
“Mommy, angel! Angel, mommy!” Nicky blinks, putting down the produce he had in his hand. He zeros in on the voice and a little boy staring up at him, jaw dropped and staring, his eyes wide and curious. Then he looks up to find a woman, blushing red, looking absolutely mortified. Even with her darker tone, the flush is clear, making her glow. She looks ready to run, so Nicky just gives her a smile, and then crouches in front of the child, before looking around, humming curiously. “Where, little one?” he asks, putting his hands over his eyes as he continues his search. “Where is the angel?” he asks, and the little boy giggles. It’s a beautiful sound amongst the low bustle of the early farmer’s market. --- or nicky gets mistaken for an angel by a child, so he tells them about real ones
in parts, i fall, i love
Joe needs to finish this portfolio if he wants something to propose to the showcase. And he does. He really does. But someone just sat at his table because the coffee shop is so busy, and their profile is gorgeous, and yep, he’s definitely trashed the outline again because this man is definitely going to be a part of it. “Is there something on my face?” he hears, and Joe pauses. Shit. Joe breathes out so heavily that his glasses fog up, and he looks up to find the man giving him a hint of a smile, tilting his head slightly to the side. “You’re staring,” the man states and honestly, yeah, Joe is. “I’m not.” Idiot. --- or joe is an artist, and he falls in love. and nicky is along for the ride.
with your hands, your whispers 
Come on love, that’s it.” “I can’t, Yusuf, please.” He’s gasping, breathless. His Yusuf always leaves him so breathless. It’s too much. And of course, Yusuf knows that it’s too much. He knows exactly what Nicky needs, and what makes him overflow, and it seems like his adoring heart wants him to spill over, again and again in every sense of the word. *** or a take on what nicolo and yusuf were doing before booker and andy got to the hotel in marrakesh
let’s right, these wrongs, together (see accompanying edit here)
If he concentrates hard enough, he can still smell Yusuf on the scarf, and it brings immediate tears to his eyes. Because it’s only been nearly a year, and he’s yearned for the man for longer, way before they got together. And even with all the odds, with all the numbers combined, Nicky doesn’t believe that there’ll be enough time that can pass to heal the pain that’s clawing on his chest at that moment. That has been since Yusuf said it was over.   Nile’s legs move from his lap, and suddenly there are arms around him, pulling him close and Nicky closes his eyes, pressing his face on Nile’s neck. “You’re allowed to hurt as long as you have to, Nicky,” Nile says to him, and it’s so, so kind. “You can tell me as much or as little as you can. I didn’t mean to push.” Nicky sniffles. “I still love him,” he croaks out, like it needed to be heard, like his desperation is a call out for his heart. His heart that let him go, that told him that it’s over. *** or the one where Nicky is housemates with Nile after Yusuf breaks up with him. And when he finally opens up about it, Nicky realizes that his current predicament was brought on by misunderstandings and good intentions with ill results. But it’s too late. It’s been nearly a year; it doesn’t matter now. Right? Not if your housemate is Nile Freeman.
hand-shaped bruise (see accompanying edit here)
Prince Nicolò spends most of his days alone. He lives with no one, after all, ever since his parents died. Ever since he was killed by Sr. Merrick and Lady Kozak, his screams ringing out throughout the night until his final breath, only to show up the next day at the farmer’s market. *** or my halloween take on our beloved characters.
BOOKER x COPLEY
when time dictates love 
"So not ugly,” Sebastien says, and Aidan looks at Mr. Copley, who just shrugs, smiling. “He is insufferable. Does he know this?” he says, and the man just smiles, both of them ignoring how Sebastien says ‘hey!’. “He does,” Mr. Copley whispers, and he says, and Sebastien’s fingers intertwine with his atop his knee, and Aidan looks away. “But you like him anyway,” he says instead. Mr. Copley chuckles, and he leans to press a kiss on Sebastien’s forehead, who’s no longer laughing. “Yes, but I like him anyway.” --- or a home-care worker witnesses Booker and Copley’s last year together, as time catches up on them
MULTIPLE RELATIONSHIPS
there is no timeline when it comes to this (Booker x Copley; Joe x Nicky - also featuring Joe & Booker bffs and Nicky really giving a damn about Booker)
“I’m happy for you, Yusuf,” Booker says, because he means it despite the ache, and Joe smiles, nodding, and he’s smiling in a way that makes his heart hurt even more. “We love you, Booker,” Joe says because he’s just that person, before driving off as Booker makes his way up to his apartment, steps feeling like lead. He makes the point to check the mail, and he’s not even sure why. He’s never checked mail before, Joe usually did. Booker pauses then, looking at the different ads he pulled out of the box after twisting the key. So many changes already. When he finally gets to his unit, he finds someone standing at the door. They turn when he pauses, and greets him with a smile. “Hello Booker,” James Copley says, giving him a two-finger salute. “You haven’t aged a day.” *** or where Booker’s best friend Yusuf moves out to be with his Nicolo, and he makes the choice to live alone for the first time in years. Booker tells himself he’ll be fine, tells everyone that he’ll be fine, even though the weight in his chest tells him otherwise. but he really has no choice. this is his life now. then James Copley comes home.
OTHER SHIPS & FRIENDSHIPS & NO SHIPS
little things, for the heart (Nile and Joe)
“Are you…baking bread?” Joe looks up at her then, and Nile snorts, walking over to the counter and reaching up to tug on the man’s stray curls, dark tight ringlets dusted with white flour. “Maybe,” Joe says, in a sing-song tone. *** or Nile takes a lesson she learned from her mother and applies it to her new life.
OTHER SERIES
THE NILE FREEMAN COLLECTION (Written for Nile Freeman Week 2020)
nile + love or where Nile meets another queen 
nile + sadness or where Nile keeps it real with Booker
nile + alone time or where Nile gets of ice cream and thinks of dying
nile + comfort or where Nile makes Joe feel better, the best way she knows how
MY LOVE, WE STILL HAVE MUCH TO LEARN (Post-Canon Take)
do not let me awake alone (Nicky x Joe)
After Booker’s betrayal, Joe is angry and Nicky suffers through the fallout. And for the the first time in a long time, Nicky understands what it's like to be alone in his grief.And something inside him breaks.
my love for him kills any anger (Nicky x Joe; Joe & Andy)
A month later, Andy finds out that Nicky is talking to Booker.But it doesn’t mean that Joe forgives him. Far from it. They've been through so much for him to just let it go.
a blessing from above (Nile & Nicky; Nile & Joe; Nicky x Joe) 
Nile gets used to a few things, three months into her new life. But the one thing that wracks her brain the most is how they deal with loss and suffering.Thankfully, she has a lifetime to figure it out. Because they’re family, and she wants to help them. At least, start them on the right path. They are grown people, after all. Because her Mama raised her right.
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thorin-is-a-cuddler · 4 years
Text
Careless laughter
A/N: I was inspired to write this fanfiction when I read about the story of Andrew getting waisted a lot during the time that Wham! was recording their album Make it big at Chateau Minerval in France. It is 100% a work of fiction and the way I write Andrew and George here is very personal and has nothing to do with the real people. Writing fanfic about real people is very strange business, but to anyone who enjoys reading this: thank you very much and I hope you like the Wham! in my fictitious little world. This is in parts a tickle fanfic, so I literally just project a lot onto poor Andrew and George and I hope you Wham! fans who read this can forgive me and maybe even like it. Alright, that’s it! Have fun :)
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“George, please... George! George, won’t you at least look at me?” 
Andrew groaned when George stood up and walked past him, tense like a brick and with an expression of unfiltered anger. He grabbed something off a shelf in the recording room - which was actually more of a hall - and was about to go back to the mixing desk when Andrew strongly gripped for his wrist and held him back. Andrew’s head felt like it was stuck in a helmet. He was seriously too hungover for a fight with his best friend. 
George whirled around and tried furiously to free his arm from Andrew’s iron grip, but he couldn’t get away. Despite his headache Andrew kept the blank expression of someone who knows that they’re stronger and after a few more futile, angry attempts to get free George stopped, breathing heavily with his blond hair fluffed up like a cloud on his heated head. 
“Will you talk to me now?” Andrew waited for a reaction, but didn’t get one which led to him gripping his best friend’s wrist a little tighter. George hissed and was forced to look Andrew in the eyes. They stayed like this for a moment, George steaming with anger, Andrew determined and stubborn. George’s anger seemed to vanish in parts as Andrew’s solid glare kept imploring unshakenly. “Well?” 
With a tired expression mixing into George’s angry mask he gritted his teeth and nodded once, harsh and short. Andrew let go off his arm and pointed to the wide entrance behind them that led to an incredible garden, flooded with sunlight and covered in flowers and nice shadowy spaces from some huge trees. “Come on, you can get it all off your chest, yes?” 
They’d spent very little time in that paradise together until now. Andrew had been out and about with two of his oldest friends ever since they’d arrived in South France. He was still overwhelmed by the beauty of this place as he stepped out onto the red terrace with George. 
They sat down of a white bench placed in front of the wall of the recording “hall”. For a while they merely listened to the birds and insects and the very low mumble of the wind. It was afternoon and the sun was already yawning, less strong and bright than during midday. It could have been a wonderful moment, sitting there, holding their faces in the gentle caresses of the sun, maybe sipping a coke together. Then Andrew noticed George’s body started humming with tension again. It didn’t seem capable to hold all the mixed emotions together inside. He prepared for a storm. 
“I’m so sick of your fucking antics!” George got out between gritted teeth, turning his head away from Andrew, the sunlight meeting his hair, making it look like a golden shield between them. 
Andrew looked down at the terracotta tiles, the gentle breeze ruffling his black hair. He nodded merely noticeably and tried not to sigh. “I know.”
“You know,” George swallowed, a lump as big as their overwhelming success in his throat and seemed to choke on it in the most painful way. “You gave me a near heart attack yesterday. Seeing you in the bathtub like this, your friends trying to make you look like a person again, minutes before we had to do the special for The Tube... I was so angry at you. I was so worried, but I am constantly worried at the moment, because I’m trying to produce a fucking album here. And then I see you like this. You are not helping with that. You make me worry about you as well. I thought we were going to have a good time here. I thought you’d be here with me. I thought-” 
The lump made it so hard for George to talk that he had to stop. His shoulders were shaking ever so slightly. Andrew felt the entire array of fears, anger and wishes of his best friend and a big wave of dread rushed through him. His lips turned into a thin line and his fists clenched in his lap. He avoided looking directly at George’s shaking form, keeping his gaze directed at the warm tiles underneath his shoes. The wind was just a huff around them, but it managed to make Andrew shiver now.
“I thought we were going to do this together.” George said in a more stern voice now, but the sadness in this line nevertheless dripped out of it like water from a sponge. You couldn’t see it at first. But he was full of it.
Andrew did sigh now and dared to sneak a glance at his friend’s face. George looked disappointed, lonely and sad and it hurt Andrew as much as it managed to give him something back that he’d talked himself out of previously: that he was important for Wham!, that he was important to George, that he was needed for the band. He could barely stand George’s disappointment and he felt overwhelmed by the strong emotion of George’s unbroken affection despite Andrew’s behaviour of late. With a sniff he nodded to himself and carefully leaned in closer to his friend, looking for some kind of contact, for the usual warmth between them. 
George didn’t look at him, bent over to pluck out some grass to pick at, but settled back down on the bench with their shoulders touching again, the way Andrew had initiated before. Andrew tried not too smile too widely at that. He knew George couldn’t stay resentful. They just weren’t like that. They both had a strong desire to be taken seriously and they could argue a lot. But they couldn’t stay mad at each other beyond a certain point. They were too close for that. 
“George, I’m sorry.” Andrew pushed him gently with his shoulder, but George remained in his half-adverse posture - not pushing Andrew away, but neither initating any form of contact himself. “I’m truly sorry. I don’t want you to worry about me. I think I was trying to distract myself a bit too much there, wasn’t I? You know that I am not jealous of you, that I’m happy for you, right? I think your work is breath-taking. But I guess sometimes I feel a little... overwhelmed. And I worry. I know people talk about me, I know what they think about me and my position in the band. I just... sometimes I want to get away from all the thoughts that come, that just come then. I don’t really want to think them.” 
Now George directed his gaze directly at Andrew and it was Andrew’s turn to look away. He tried to avoid the hurt expression on his face, the furrowed brows and the helpless glare. But it didn’t work. 
“Andrew, you know that I don’t see it that way. I need you here. Wham! is not me, it’s us. I need you in this. Obviously. I can’t do this alone. We’ve always done this together. Even if I’m writing the songs, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t a lot more to do than just that.” 
Andrew shrugged and changed the position of his feet. He couldn’t hide that the bad opinions and the malice he was receiving from outside were messing with his head and his self-esteem. George tried to catch his sight. 
“You don’t have to act according to the fucking press. They don’t tell you who you are, Andy.” 
George now searched for contact as well, squeezing his shoulder against Andrew’s and tilting his head closer. “Please, help me, Andy. Stay here for a while. Please.”
Andrew huffed at that, a smile pulling at his features. He met George’s imploring gaze, his chest still heavy, but his head a little lighter. “I will only be in the way. All I will do is sit there and repeat to you how good it all is. All that comes from here.” 
George made a grimace when Andrew used his left hand to knock on his forehead. He smiled reluctantly and turned his head to really look at him. “When you’re around I know that you’e not getting in trouble. You being here, enthusiastic about the music and the fact the we are making our second album together gives me the confidence in our music that I lack when you’re gone. Your are the spirit of Wham!’s music, don’t you know that?” 
Andrew looked back at George and saw that his friend’s anger was gone now. His eyes were shimmering slightly and his expression seemed to say “Yes, believe it or not, you fool, that is the truth” forcing Andrew to smile at him. 
“Yep. Well, George, Wham! is all about fun. So, of course, I am its spirit.”
George groaned and rolled his eyes, taking his head away from its position close to Andrew’s shoulder and bringing some distance between them again. His smile remained. “Yes, I am real buzzkill.” 
“You are. Totally. You’re so lucky to have me.” 
“Mhm.” 
A huge grin appeared on Andrew’s features as he noticed the two of them were back to their bickering selfs. “Without me you just mope, like you do right now.” 
“It’s with or without you, Andy!” 
“No, no, I’m taking the blues away.” 
“You make me sick. Especially with your colored white strands. You look like a bird shat on your head.” 
“Excuse me?!” 
“It literally looks like shit, Andrew!” George repeated teasingly, eyes widening when he saw Andrew narrow his own. He knew that look and it didn’t exactly promise peace and harmony. 
“You know what’s really sickening, though? I will give you something sickening!” 
George opened his mouth to fire something back at Andrew, but his friend was suddenly grabbing for him, trying to pull him off the bench. George took this a his cue to rip free and run for his life, but Andrew had other plans for him. Before he could so much as reach the middle of the garden Andrew had his arms around George’s middle and wrestled him to the ground as if he was a mere flower on a field. George couldn’t do anything about his hysterical sounding laughter as Andrew pushed him into the grass. His blond hair glowed in the sunlight like an open treasure chest, which was nothing in comparison to his shining smile that took over his entire face as Andrew kept him on his back while breaking through his hectic defenses and squeezing his sides viciously. 
George kicked and wiggled and squealed for his life, laughing so much that Andrew couldn’t help but laugh along. They hadn’t played around like that for what seemed like two years now. Ever since they’d gotten famous. For the first time in a long time now Andrew felt like he was on the same level as his best friend again. It felt like they were just two boys who had been friends since childhood and therefore knew each other like brothers. Laughing this outgoingly together set something free in Andrew again and he realized he hadn’t been himself for longer than he’d liked to admit. The sight of George choking on his giggles, his eyes squeezed shut from the sensations of the ticklish torture as he twisted his head around in the grass - for once not caring that it would get messed up in the process - shot a bang of love through Andrew’s chest and he didn’t feel like stopping any time soon. 
“What did you say about my hair, George?” He asked teasingly, as he wrestled George’s arms to the ground, basking in his terrified squeaks as he managed to pin them down with a single hand. 
“NO ANDY!” George kept kicking and laughing and tearing at his pinned wrists as Andrew evilly wiggled the fingers of his free hand around in front of George’s face. “PLEASE DON’T!!” 
“I just asked you a simple question, my cherished friend.” Andrew grinned as George squealed in fear when he lowered his hand in the direction of his ribs. He hadn’t had that much fun when he got wasted out of his mind the nights before. This was a whole different level and he only realized now how much he’d missed the fun he’d always had with George. 
“Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” Andrew poked George’s exposed ribs and chuckled when it caused a breathless fit of high-pitched giggles. George’s eyes were squeezed together tightly as a sort of defense against the unbearable feeling of getting tickled that way. 
“PLEHEHEHEASE STOP!!” 
“I’m barely touching you.” Andrew smirked, loving the way George’s laughter showed off his singing talent. “You know this is great training for your next Careless Whisper, don’t you agree? Some Careless Laughter maybe?” 
Andrew enjoyed George’s strong reaction to having his ribs and sides poked relentlessly, the way he tried to keep his giggles at bay and failed miserably. He shook his head wildly, his bond locks flying as he could barely form any coherent words through his laughter. “ANDY! I CAN’T TAHAKE IT! PLEASE STOHOHOP!!” 
“No, you know it looks like you’re having an awful lot of fun.” Andrew said matter of factly and started wiggling his fingers into George’s ribs, chuckling at the immediate booming laughter the touch evoked. 
“I’M DIHIHIYNG!” George got out dramatically after taking a deep breath to fuel even more laughter. “PLEHEHEASE, ANDY, YOU’RE KILLING MEHEHE!” 
George changed pitch when Andrew’s tickling fingers reached his armpit, making George reach the full capacity of his voice. 
“Oh, right, this is a killer spot. I totally forgot. I’m so glad we talked, George. This is really important information.” 
George could only shake his head and laugh on as Andrew exploited the ticklish spot a while longer, before deciding that maybe he could show a bit of mercy. He smirked and kept on tickling, as he asked: “Now, are you taking back what you said about my hair?” 
“Yes!! YES!! I TAKE IT BAHACK!! STOP PLEHEHEASE!” 
Andrew chuckled and let go off George’s arms, leaving him more of a chance of self-defence as he sneakily took his chance to attack both of his sides at the same time, leading to George continuing his laughter with a very accusing sound to it. He twisted around on the grass and tried to tear Andrew’s hands away from his sides. “NO STOHOP STOP!! I TOOK IT BACK!!” 
Andrew laughed when George managed to roll out from underneath him and held his hands up in defense, panting with red cheeks and glaring despite the huge smile on his face. 
“I know you didn’t really take it back. You only wanted me to stop tickling you.” 
“OBVIOUSLY!” 
With a wave of his hand Andrew gave George a sign that he wouldn’t attack again, as he put his hands up on his knees, bent over, slightly out of breath himself. George sat up and immediately tried to tame his wild hair, groaning and panting and trying to seem somewhat fed up with Andrew. It didn’t work at all. There was no way George could have managed to stop grinning. 
“You had fun!” Andrew stated, laughing and pointing at George’s face.
“I did not!” 
“Yes, you did!” 
“Ugh.” With a groan George lay back down in the grass and huffed some strands of hair out of his forehead. He twitched away, when Andrew threw himself down beside him, making Andrew laugh again as he innocently held up his hands. 
“Don’t worry, I’ve had my revenge. Seriously an outrageous insult though!” Andrew pulled at his colored strands of hair and held them in the sunlight, his shoulder touching George’s again as they stared at the cloudless sky and tried to regain a normal breathing pattern.
“You sound like a little girl when you giggle like that.” 
“Shut up, Andrew!” George said without any real vigor behind it as he crossed his hands over his stomach and listened to Andrew rambling out a few more insults, thoughts and ideas for the album. He was glad to have him back. 
---------
So I’m tagging @heysucker1963​ and @captainkrakenandtheaquanauts​ because you guys kindly showed some interest in this fanfiction and if you want to let me know if you want more / if you liked it, I would gladly oblige. ;) Absolutely no pressure though if you don’t want to read it after all!! Also if you want to listen to George laughing really carelessly, check this out, I tend to melt when it comes to 5:47. Cuuuute. 
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