#they SCREAM keeley

[thetarttfuldickhead]

do you have any thoughts about the perfume/cologne/deodorant of Roy or Keeley?

Oh, Keeley’s hard, because I think she’d know a lot more about perfumes than I do, and have a far better idea of what is fashionable or not. Then again, I can also see Keeley saying fuck off to fashionable and just go with whatever floats her boat. She’s sure to have a collection of scents for different occasions, selecting what suits her mood and outfit, even if she might have a few favourites that she wears more often than others.

Generally, I’d say she leans towards very feminine and sweet scents, preferably floral and/or fruity ones, rather than very fresh or very aromatic or woody ones. Amber florals, mostly, I’m thinking, or maybe a fruity gourmand.

I’d love to say Twilly D’Hermes Eau Poivrée, because I think the aesthetic of the little bottle with a bowler hat and a colourful scarf is very much up Keeley’s alley, and I do like the symbolism of the cute packaging hiding something surprisingly spicy and strong. Unfortunately, I just can’t square the actual smell with Keeley, especially since the dry down turns rather mature (read: old-fashioned). She might pick up the Eau Ginger, for the odd occasion when she wants to go all out on the sweet candied ginger, baked goods quietly having it out with a flower bouquet. It’s rarely her first choice, though.

I can see (smell) her in Valentino Donna Born in Roma, especially when she’s gearing up for a night out or day about town. There is a woodiness to it that always gives it a hint of smoke, but there’s lot of sweet floral notes as well, and vanilla. It’s pink too, so it’d go nicely with her everything. But maybe this is something she would have primarily worn a couple of years ago, back when we first met her on the show. These days, and especially when she’s at the office or doing business, I think Gucci Guilty pour femme would be a solid choice: it’s a little less in your face, still very sweet and floral but with a hint of citrus freshness to it that makes it lighter, and a quiet undercurrent of spice that lends it a certain air of elegance and (fashionable) maturity. It’s also supposed to be for “women who are truly liberated. A modern declaration of self-expression and fearlessness” and while that’s obviously marketing bullshit it’s also very fitting for Keeley, right? It’s not her party perfume, but yeah, quite possibly her everyday office choice.

For a classic, she might turn to Coco Mademoiselle, as might we all in times of trouble. When she’s feeling the need for something a little less sweet and more purely floral (and woody), the EdT Euphoria Blossom by Calvin Klein might do (if she can get hold of it, it’s no longer produced and I’m very bitter about it), or maybe something from the Gucci Flora Gorgerous line.

Roy is far easier: it is my very learned and expert opinion that he’s recently been rocking Ralph’s Club by (you guessed it) Ralph Lauren.

It’s not a hugely original scent, perhaps, but it is very likeable and not at all boring. It’s got a freshness to it, a little sweet velvety floral layer that turns the aromatic wood into something more than just your average masculine scent. It’s sleek and casually elegant with a nice (if not extremely surprising) twist to it, and smelling it I can smell Roy. I don’t think he’d want anything too out there, but if he bothers getting a perfume at all, he still wants it to be nice and somewhat fashionable (even if he’d hate to admit it) and not just out and out traditional musky spice and wood and leather. The freshness also makes it something suitable for a well-groomed athlete even if it’s very much not a sport scent. Can be worn to any occasion, too, which I think Roy would appreciate – one bottle of perfume is plenty, thank you.

Also, it comes in a all black bottle, so yeah. My main concern is that I’m not sure that Roy would care to be part of any club of Ralph’s, but I have decided that he’ll suck it up. At least he’ll be smelling nice while sulking about it.

[lunar-years]

You’re telling me this is an actual episode and not something I dreamed up in a fanfiction induced haze?

[politelymenacing]

COME. ON.

[youwillfindilluminating]

[lesbian-of-nine]

UNDERSTANDING IN A CAR CRASH ‼️‼️‼️

[marssthings]

They are every bisexual person ever.

[jamietxrtt]

does anyone have a link to that fic where jamie is stuck in a time loop

[jamiesfootball]

Not to get shipper on main but

Me the Intellectual, when Roy asked That question: wooooh boy this is the episode of people asking questions they don’t want the answer for, huh? Of not knowing how to ask what you need in the right way? Like Nate asking his girlfriend for a label, and Ted asking if Michelle is getting engaged or if Dr Jacob reads to Henry. Roy’s asking a question he shouldn’t be asking, for multiple reasons. That fucking hurts

Me when the video turns out to have been Jamie’s: …………of course it fucking is. That is the Weirdest fucking option to throw into the Roy-Keeley mix. And yet somehow, there he is again. Every fucking time. And oh look- he’s giving more hugs! It’s always him. In the middle. Of Roy and Keeley. In sexual situations. Jamie is now two-exes ago. This is not normal. Do you have a bingo card? Is this whole show a 5+1 fic? My writers, how the fuck does he keep ending up in the middle if you do not mean to put him in the middle

[sokkigarden]

i know i’m in an echo chamber on tumblr but like roy jamie and keeley are gonna get together right. RIGHT????

[romansroys]

sad sobbing because rebecca is truly going through the Worst of it vs happy sobbing because ted is really locking in on becoming the best version of himself

[nigellica]

Look, I think they got a lot wrong but they also got a lot right. I might be in the minority but I love that Rebecca found her boatguy, because it feels like one of the first times she's ever been able to be happy and be herself.

I know I'm kidding myself, but I would still like another season, where they all help Ted when he realises what he thought was his happy ending isn't. Where they bring him back to coach the women's team while the lads keep on with the men's.

Sometimes you just need time to realise what you thought you wanted, is not what you actually want.

So unless we hear anything further, I'm going to assume the dreamlike quality is either because it was a fever dream, or because it was all filmed by Ted on his new camera for his new hobby that he's not the best at just yet. Which is why he isn't in a single shot.

I'm also not mad about the lack of romantic endings (even if I wanted TedTrent, and it was messed up how they teased the TedBeccas), but I am a little unhappy about Beard and Jane.

Just gonna be making up my own, less nebulous endings.

[if-i-look-straight-look-again]

Rewatching Ted Lasso part 29: I love how Jamie’s little speech about giving Richard space leads to Roy realizing he needs to give Keeley space

[lunar-years]

The batshit thing about the R/K shippers hating on Jamie is that Keeley and Roy both love Jamie. The haters have completely ignored every character beat and growth and instead focused on "het couple is always end game" and got pissed when that didn't happen because it turns out their characters are more nuanced than that.

they mischaracterize all three of them to an insane degree because they for some reason feel the constant need to prove that R/K are the healthiest most well adjusted couple in the history of television and Jamie possesses absolutely zero threat to their relationship whatsoever because they both are merely 'putting up with him' at best or secretly hate him at worst (all of which are laughable claims to anyone who has watched the show with their eyes open, and possesses even the most meager analysis skills in their brains).

I also think the way they talk about R/K is often so reductive if not genuinely gross (in addition to just being like, generally of a heteronormative flavor)...and that's the ship they're meant to LIKE. like there were people yesterday screaming about how "Roy would NEVER share Keeley!!!1!!!" and it's like...well Keeley isn't a toy they're passing around or hogging, so jot that down. She's a person with her own agency, who isn't with... get this... EITHER ONE OF THEM at the end of the series!!! Yeah, that includes ROY!!! So Roy at the moment really has zero say in whether she wants to fuck Jamie again or not, lmao. she's every bit as capable of getting back together with him as she is Roy post canon. and if they were together, opening their relationship to someone else would be...a mutual decision...because Keeley is a whole character of her own and not just a prop for your male fav...

And then there's the whole "well we ship something that's actually CANON and therefore BETTER, whereas R/J & RJK shippers are just weaving mystical delusions because they're ~desperate for representation~ or whatever. Which is apparently why the Apple TV account and even the actors should never, ever so much as allude to RJK again, because it diminishes their "real and correct" couple. Again, NEITHER PAIRING IS EVEN ENDGAME CANON.

And finally, all the little ways they constantly try to mask the fact that they just hate Jamie because he's in the way of their ship with "real analysis" that boils down to such riveting takes as: "Jamie = Irredeemable and Bad because he hurt Keeley three seasons ago" "Roy = baby boy who has never hurt Keeley ever in his life and is perfect for her in every which way. oh? here's a canonical scene where Roy is canonically hurting Keeley? WELL, that's just bad writing. OOC, that is. the writers just suck. my favorites cannot be flawed"

anyway...I love roykeeley in the very specific way they exist in my head but i really need the r/k diehards to like... step back and accept the fact that they canonically BROKE UP and are not inherently perfect and better than any other ship between flawed characters. go read fanfiction and imagine the ending of your choosing to your heart's content, like the rest of us, and stop targeting social media managers jumping on the latest silly internet meme. sorry for the rant it's just....so fucking irritating

[alwritey-aphrodite]

who do you think jamie tells first out of the richmond people that he's gonna propose? roy makes alot of sense but i just love his dad-son realtionship with ted or it could be the team as a whole to get their help....

He’s absolutely going to Ted for advice first, which leads to an emergency Diamond Dogs meeting and we all know Higgins can’t keep a secret so by the end of the day all the Greyhounds know and are trying their best to help, bless their souls, but their ideas just don’t quite hit the mark. Roy recognizes how genuinely stressed this is making Jamie and so when he gets home, he sends Jamie a full list of everything he should do to prepare, locations, keeping it a secret, everything.

[youwillfindilluminating]

I'll never be over the fact that after the game in 'mom city' jamie is sitting in the training room looking all tired and sad with his red-rimmed eyes, all alone, and in walks fucking roy and keeley because they want to celebrate with him and they would never leave him alone because they love him

[lesbian-of-nine]

how is this guy even more beautiful in person 😵‍💫 🩶 i’m pretty sure he made eye contact with me AHHHHHH

also: me reading homestuck before they went on For The Bit (4/13) anddddd a bracelet a lovely person gave me !!!