#they are nothing but an abstract concept who found a mortal body to possess in order to communicate with their people

[if-you-like-pina-colada-s]

Mumbling to myself about how the nations are some sub-species of primordial gods of the earth who encompass the abstract and vague idea of a civilization or society as I walk across my dimly lit room which is covered in a mess of papers of all sorts, connecting dots with a shitty red yarn string all while running on 5 cups of coffee and 8 minutes of sleep.

[writeuntilyourhandshurt]

A Fallen Star.

Ah… Lethargy, what a beautiful state to be in. No thoughts to cloud your mind. No worries to furrow your brow. No stress to tense your shoulders. Lethargic, simple, sluggish...nothing. There The Star stood, dormant. For years upon years, centuries upon centuries. Not one could say how much time has passed since he had been awake. Since he had willed himself to listen and understand. And think. No… he waited, dormant. The reason for this lethargy? He couldn't say either. So much time had passed since a clear thought has passed his mind, he forgot the reason why he entered such a state in the first place. But he does not mind. No, quite contrary, he likes it still. Peaceful, very much so… 

However, this idle state of ignorance of his would soon come to an end, the outer body of this astral being rapidly charging towards a very small and insignificant planet named Earth. The people of this very planet have always had a fascination towards beings like him, would always call out to them, and ask them about love and fortune and wars and sickness. Call them Gods, call them Arcana, call them Zodiac, all meaningless names they never understood, nor bothered to even try to do so. Poor, curious, helpless humans, thinking themselves smart by calling out. They never understood. 

One very fateful day, he crashed into the Earth, his outer shell cracking, and softly, fell out a human boy. Or...was he human? Dark blue eyes peered from below a golden cascade, confusion hanging blatantly onto them. Slowly, his eyes adjusted to the sudden awakening, the sudden light surrounding him, vertigo seizing his senses. 

"What…?" His voice was soft. Unbearably soft and fragile. Just as he himself was frail against the soil he laid upon. 

"Where am I…?" He groaned weakly, pushing against himself to sit up, slowly, carefully, curiously. And true to the question, the lands around him were foreign to him...exotic. Mysterious fields of green stretched out from below him and a dark veil littered with glowing orbs lay above him. No matter how back he tried to remember, he could not recognize ever seeing such sights. Such interesting and baffling sights. To where do they belong though, he wondered… 

And gradually, he tried to stand up, his legs wobbling and threatening to buckle under his newfound weight. And it suddenly dawned on him, a feeling he has never experienced before. Weight. Corporeal feeling. He had a body, solid, with blood pumping through his veins, with warmth emanating from his skin, with feeling in his fingers. He could feel upon his skin the breeze passing through the fields. So...curious...it is...to feel. 

Lost in this very particular and exclusive thing called feeling he allowed his feet to carry him away. Surprisingly, the weight of his developed body helped with maintaining his balance, only stumbling against the uneven way the ground hugged itself upon the surface of these lands.

Minutes passed...Hours passed…Finally, a day had passed before he realised another feeling. Hunger. And another. Fatigue. And another. Thirst.  

And yet realizing them did not mean understanding them. And so he kept walking, and walking, and wondering at the marvels of this new word he stumbled upon, without knowing of hunger nor of thirst, regardless of the ache in his stomach. 

It was not long until he stumbled into what he was soon to learn is called a human Village. A gathering place for a small number of humans, where they build shelter and grow their food. Upon entering said village, people flocked to him, admiring his beauty with such mortal curiosity. With such a fleeting adoration, such a feeble sentiment, he could not understand why they even bothered to try to offer him their best, when once he walked past them, they would frown and disagree. What would they have to earn from it, he wondered? He did not even know what he looked like, and yet these humans decided what would be best for him, in taking their daughter's hand's in marriage, or in ridiculous revelations of love he could not begin to understand. He thought it all silly, frivolous. 

And yet, it was crossing paths with humans, with these fatuous creatures he did not recognize, which brought forth another very important question to him. After walking into a "inn", seemingly inadvertently, in a Deus ex Machina sort of way, he found himself asking for a room. For shelter, and for food to eat. The words came out of him with a courtesy he couldn't fathom he could produce, perhaps as a plead to escape what was outside of the inn's walls. Of course, as it happens normally on earth, the owner at the inn asked for two things in exchange for food and shelter. Money, some sort of...currency, people exchange material things such as this for. Again, it was something he could not sympathise with. And another thing, something very simple everyone around him seemed to possess, except for him. 

"What's yer name, boye?" 

His head fell to his palms, forehead held by long, slender fingers, his mouth agape. He understood forthwith. A name. A name was something he clearly didn't carry. Money would be indeed much easier to come across, everyone seemed to pass those around gleefully. However names were unique. What is someone without a name? Despair unravelled in the depths of his bust, his fingers now trembling upon his forehead. Who Is He? 

Without a name… without any recent memory… surrounded by things he did not recognize or agree with. What was going on? Who was he? And why was he here? For whatever reason could he be sent here? He shook his head. 

"I don't have either of those…" He replied, in the same unworldly, angelic voice, and made his way to one of the tables displayed about the entrance of the inn. Thoughtlessly, he sat down, his body rigid with unease. Where did he find himself, he wondered. Why here, he wondered. And what was he to do...he wondered. 

"Oi! Ya' cant sit down if yer don't buy something. Pay or Leave!" The guttural voice of the owner shook violently out of his throat. Petrified, the boy stood, holding himself up with his hands on the table. 

"Oh, leave the boy be, Arthur. Can't you see the poor creature's lost? I'll pay for his room and food." This time a kinder voice resounded, worn with age, but amiable nonetheless. "Come here, boy, sit." It was an older woman who offered him such good will, her eyes reflecting ages past onto them, and the hardships she had to endure smiled at him from the corners of her mouth and eyes. She had wavy, silver hair escaping out of a sloppy, hurriedly made bun at the back of her head. 

Not knowing what to think of the apparition before him, nor her charity, he warily made his way towards the table she sat at, wondering why she decided to speak up for him, when it was clearly so against the morale of this species. And yet, he found deep in his heart, that beyond his suspicion against these creatures, she was one to be trusted. He saw- felt, that this woman here was nothing more than a good soul, willing to offer a helping hand wherever and whenever she could. Bewildered by this change in scenery, he smiled towards her, sitting down where she pointed him to.

"Thank you." 

"Oh don't worry, don't worry. Lord knows Arthur is too stuck up to offer a warm room to a clearly lost soul. Tell me, boy, where do you come from?" 

Another question, another tin dropped in silence, ripples forming upon the surface of his heart. Where did he come from? His gaze wandered about downwards, towards the table, towards his hands, fidgeting with his fingers. With each question he grew more anguished. Who was he? Where did he come from? Why could he not remember these things? 

His eyes widened in disbelief at his own fear, a darkness that would soon enough swallow and engulf him whole, sending him into nothing more than a pit of despair.

But the kind woman before him could only smile, placing a warm, calloused hand over his anxious own, stopping him from fretting any further. 

"My name is Letha, young man, and I am the wise woman of this village. Perhaps I can help you on your journey?" Her grey eyes smiled brilliantly towards him. 

"How could I ask for more? You have already…-" He was cut off by the man named Arthur, now placing a steaming plate of food on the table in front of him. The boy thought he could hear a soft murmur saying "enjoy" but it could as well have been one of the rather numerous flies making their way around the inn. Letha pat his arm, squeezing it gently. 

"Oh trust me, you very well can and you very much will. Eat, now, you're going to starve to death before my very eyes if you don't." She chuckled tenderly. And as it were, she was very right. He could feel his head growing groggy, the ache in his stomach now clear as day, churning his insides, something that could only be described as agony. How did he not realise he felt like this until now? Everything felt like it could walk upon him, he was so weak. Is this what lack of food means to a human? Is this why they pay for it? But it's a necessity. He realised, just like Letha said, he would have died, were he to abstain from eating any longer. Would humans put their fellow through such agony for the mere rule? For such an abstract concept? Money? 

He picked up the, what felt like, awkwardly big eating utensils placed on the table, surrounding his plate. Ah… such an interesting shape! A stick, ending in four, smaller sticks! Instinct did not lead him, this time, as he stiffly held the mysterious stick in his hand, struggling to pick up food, causing Letha to laugh once more, reaching out and correcting the way he held it. 

"A fork, dear. This is how you hold it… And this is how you eat with it." Her calloused palm brushed against his hand once again, as she held the fork through his hand, taking a bite off the plate and leading it up to his mouth. "Now open your mouth." He did as she instructed. "And chew." 

Flavour burst into his mouth, eyes widening in bewilderment at this new sensation. Slowly, he gnawed on that bite, feeling its flavour and reeling into it. It was so good! He couldn't help but look to Letha, whom he had already adopted as a mother figure. 

She grinned. "Swallow, boy." 

And questioning, he did, the hunger in his stomach crying out for more, infinitely more of it. Repeating the motion from earlier, just as she taught him, he managed to finish the whole plate, marvelling at the unique experience it offered him. These creatures around him, including Letha, would do this thing constantly, how could he not think of it on his own? Perhaps, if Letha didn't decide to help him...who knows what would have come upon him. Death, is that what she called it? He has a fleeting memory of what that means… Things coming to an end, but not exactly a permanent concept. Then why would it be so grave? Why would death be considered so dangerous, even though it was relatively harmless, from what he remembers. 

"Good, good. You ate. Now that you're not passing away from hunger anymore…" She pushed a tall glass filled to the brim with a clear liquid towards him, a cheeky smile playing on her tired lips. "Drink." 

"What is this?" He eyed the liquid wearily. 

"You'll see. But you'll have to trust me, boy. You've seen already I mean you no harm, so try this, for me." Letha folded her arms in her breast. 

"I trust you…" Perhaps too easily, he thought to himself. But nevermind, he picked up the glass, and sloppily drank from it, liquid spilling from the corners of his mouth. Two gulps in, he choked, a bitter taste finally forming in his mouth, causing him to frown and lower his glass, coughing. "What was that??" 

Now outright laughing, Letha pat his arm once more, fondly. "Medicine. You're weak! Did you really think I would let you go from my table without treating you?" She gave another bark of laughter. "But know, you have to finish the whole thing for it to work." 

His lips pursed into something akin to disgust. 

"I'm not sure I want to." 

"Oh I believe you, boy, but you very much have to." A knowing smile pressed against her lips. 

And with a distressed sigh, the boy reached for the glass once more, cupping it in between his hands and downing the liquing, his nose scrunching as he cringed into the taste, his body shivering in response to it. 

"Horrible that thing is, really." 

"Horrible in taste, yes, but you'd be even worse off without it." Letha sat up. "Come now, I promised you both food and shelter, and you look like you haven't slept in days. Follow me." A horrible groan made it's way out of her throat as she held her back, wobbling onto her two short and stubby legs. He quickly sat up after her, holding a hand to her back in concern. 

"Are you all right?" 

"I should be asking you that, boye. Now come, It's a long way upstairs when you're this old. Lucky me I have young folk to help me up the stairs." A smile crossed his lips, a new sentiment reaching his breast. He could help her, he thought, happily. But why would offering Letha kindness make him feel so positively glad? Could be it because she had done the same for him? Or would he have felt this gratitude regardless. He couldn't say. 

They slowly made their way to the stairs, she moved slowly, letting out, every now and then, a pained sigh, as she struggled against her legs to walk. And the journey up the stairs would be even harder, and take even longer, each step would have to be carefully passed, one leg at the time. But he didn't mind. He was glad he was there, behind her, holding her back and helping her forward. He would have stood there for hours, or even days, if it meant she didn't struggle as much as he assumed she did usually. He would, honestly, but he soon started to grow aware of his own fatigue, his arms and legs slowly becoming more sluggish, the simple act of standing up causing his breath to come up short. Her body felt heavier against his hands, and what in reality was no more than one minute, felt to him like thirty. 

But luckily, they would reach his room soon enough. The chimney hadn't been lit, but the room was warm enough on it's own. As soon as he neared the bed, he threw himself onto it, his body screaming in relief as he laid down. 

Catching her breath, Letha gave out a soft giggle. "It feels good, doesn't it? Thought it would… Should I light up the chimney for you, boye?" 

"No! No, you're tired." He stood up too quickly, dizzying himself, catching his head in his palm. However, with his sudden movement and panic, something...odd… happened. The chimney lit itself. Letha stared in disbelief, her gaze falling from the boy, to the chimney, mouth agape as she took a few steps back. 

"What…?" 

In response, however, he just stared into the fire, his eyes empty and sad, almost as if looking at a long lost loved one. There was nothing in his gaze now that would suggest he was the same boy Letha met earlier. He looked lost. A lost soul, drowning in the waves of fate. He thought nothing, he saw nothing but the fire he willed into existence. And slowly, he looked towards Letha, that same emptiness now peering into her. 

"I remembered… You, you are afraid of such things, aren't you?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. His voice was just as innocent and frail as before. 

Swallowing hard, she looked once again from him to the fire, and back to him. And shaking her head, she answered. 

"Most of us are afraid, yes." Fighting the inner urge to run, she smiled, and trusted, making her way closer to the boy, and sitting down on the bed he rested upon, she ran her fingers through his golden hair, smoothing down it's excellent curls. He simply looked at her, slight dread creeping it's way into his eyes, disbelief at her answer, uneasiness making him weary. His shoulders tensed, and he had the undeniable urge to erupt. 

"Listen to me, boye. Anyone else who would have witnessed what you just performed, would have damned you. Deemed you evil. But I don't. Evil doesn't exist within innocence such as yours." Her voice was barely above a whisper. She pressed closer his him, wrapping both of her arms around his shoulders, head resting upon the crook of his neck. "So I will give you something. I'll give you something to borrow until you find your own." 

"What… what is it?" He whispered breathlessly, his shoulders relaxing in her warm embrace. Letha ran her hands up his back, comforting the trembling mess he's become. 

"Apollo." She didn't have to say anything else for him to understand. He froze, sucking in his breath, eyes wide. 

"Why? Why-" 

"I'll be with you until you find and take what's yours, Apollo. I don't have much time myself, you see. I will spend the rest of it with you." But it was soon that exhaustion would take over him, leaning heavier against Letha, her strong arms holding him as he gave out under his own weight, body slipping off to sleep, while his mind remained bright awake. Questions that remained unanswered found a place to dance upon his buzzing mind. 

"Lucky boy, Apollo." Letha whispered, smiling. She slid off the bed, letting Apollo rest, arranging his body so that he sits comfortably, and covered him with the blankets on the bed. Gazing once again at him, she made her way out of the room, to the room next to his. I'll be with you, she thought, Apollo. 

(Hey! You made it to the end, congrats! Now, this is far from my best work, but I thought I should give it a shot, seeing as this idea of a fallen star has been plaguing my inspirational glands for quite a while. I finally found some free time to write! Hooray! I really Hope you enjoyed reading this very short chapter to a very short story. Keep your eyes peeled for even more of Apollo's adventures. He is sure to discover a great deal about this world he found himself in.

Please let me know what you think of this! Constructive criticism is always appreciated around here! If you have any prompts you'd want me to write about also let me know! I'd be happy to oblige!

Thank you very much for checking out my blog and reading some of my stories. :)

-V. Brooks🌟)

[theteenagetrickster]

75 Best Hip-Hop and R&B Albums of 2019, Ranked

For the final time of 2019, we’ll see you in the comments.

Before you begin scrolling through our list of the 75 best hip-hop and R&B albums of 2019, likely without reading any of the words we affixed to many of them, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page.

The eligibility period for this list is December 24, 2018, through December 9, 2019.

If an artist and/or their record label labeled a project as an “EP,” it was disqualified. We are publishing that list on Friday.

Our entire editorial team determined the selections (and the order of the albums listed). Please don’t send Donna your nasty emails.

No, we’re not on the payroll of “Insert Popular Artist Here.” But, we’d love an investment. Have them email Z.

This list is our list—not yours. We don’t expect, nor do we want, you to agree with every album selection or our ordering; we do want you to discover a few great albums you probably missed throughout the past 12 months and press play.

Great, let’s begin. Happy Holidays.

75. Radamiz — Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

“Lately been accepting my mortality, nobody ever told you that your parents goin’ to get older, too,” Radamiz raps on “Shadowboxing,” the intro to his perfectly-titled sophomore album, Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes. It’s one of many lines that will jump out upon every revisit. Radamiz is a rapper who breathes universal truths, who candidly speaks of being a passion-driven and dreaming-chasing millennial fighting against the odds and the clock. Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes is East Coast hip-hop from a student of the game, who gives an honest portrait of his life with fiery rhymes, and head-nodding production that solidifies Radamiz as one of the best new rappers coming from New York. —Yoh

74. Wale — Wow… That’s Crazy

73. Lil Peep — Everybody's Everything

72. MIKE — Tears of Joy

71. Deem Spencer — Pretty face

70. Yung Baby Tate — GIRLS

Do not forget Yung Baby Tate. On the list of newcomers who released projects in 2019 that put on display their world-conquering star power, Yung Baby Tate shines. GIRLS, Tate’s independent debut, is vividly painted with shades of luscious vocals, radio-ready songwriting, and bright-colored, post-Nicki Minaj lyricism. You’ll remember Tate as the charming, Atlanta-born songstress who rapped, sung, wrote, and self-produced all 15 tracks. Tate is every woman, but also every artist, a living compilation of styles and genres. While GIRLS may be her first full-length offering, the album successfully represents her wide-ranging talents, and why Yung Baby Tate is on the road to a takeover. —Yoh

69. Baby Keem — DFMB

68. Medhane — Own Pace

67. YG — 4REAL 4REAL

66. Kaina — Next to the Sun

65. 03 Greedo & Kenny Beats — Netflix & Deal

Ever wonder what a Netflix binging session with your favorite rapper and producer would be like? 03 Greedo and Kenny Beats’ collaborative debut is the closest you’ll get this year. There’s no underlying concept about cinema’s relationship to rap or trying to create a #cinematic experience; Greedo raps about movies he used to watch in his trap house over a sampling of Kenny’s eclectic beats. Netflix & Deal is as brisk and exciting as any John Wick movie. You know bodies will be caught, but the thrill comes from seeing how they will top themselves this time. Movie magic. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

64. Big K.R.I.T. — K.R.I.T. Iz Here

63. Roddy Ricch — Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial

62. Dreamville — Revenge of The Dreamers III

61. Wiki — OOFIE

60. Malibu Ken — Malibu Ken

Aesop Rock deserves to have a little fun. Teaming up with producer TOBACCO for , he puts his extensive vocabulary to use, describing plants dying from neglect on tour and the inner workings of Bob Ross paintings. TOBACCO’s woozy pre-tech synths whir and click at the speed of rap, matching Rock’s saturated yellows with nauseating greens. Malibu Ken is colorful, silly, and more than just a little morbid, a perfect slice of Magic Eye playtime handspun by two of alt-rap’s most endearing weirdos. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

59. Summer Walker — Over It

58. Jack Harlow — Confetti

57. Jhay Cortez — Famouz

56. Young Dolph & Key Glock — Dum and Dummer

55. Grip — Snubnose 

Snubnose, the sophomore project by Atlanta rapper Grip, is a sneaky album. The kind of independent release that sounds major from a newcomer who could be confused as a young veteran. Where there should be kinks, Snubnose appears polished; where most artists fall into a mimicry of trends, Grip leans into original storytelling. He makes 13-tracks about gun violence feel like you’re watching a violent Quentin Tarantino film, with far-less n-words. Meticulous in form, riveting in execution, Snubnose is one rap album that you won’t forget. One of the best surprises of 2019. —Yoh

54. Roc Marciano — Marcielago

53. Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne — Sli'merre

52. SiR — Chasing Summer

51. Kano — Hoodies All Summer

50. YBN Cordae — The Lost Boy

YBN Cordae remembers what albums sounded like during the blog era. When Kendrick Lamar made Section.80; when J. Cole made Friday Night Lights; when Chance the Rapper made Acid Rap. Cordae channels that timeframe into , his debut album on Atlantic Records. The North Carolina-born, Maryland-raised rapper weaves through a coming-of-age story with thoughtful self-reflection, pointed storytelling, and soulful nostalgia. It’s a charming, major-label effort by a developing and youthful rapper with an open, old soul. Cordae still lacks a defining identity, but at the very least, The Lost Boy proves he knows how to tell a compelling story. —Yoh

49. Flying Lotus — Flamagra

48. Injury Reserve — Injury Reserve

47. Kevin Abstract — Arizona Baby

46. SAINt JHN — Ghetto Lenny’s Love Songs

45. Griselda — WWCD

Griselda’s debut album, WWCD, does not feel like a traditional debut. The record is wider in scope and sharper in presentation. Between the ferocity of Benny The Butcher, the ear of Westside Gunn, and the mighty snarl of Conway The Machine, Griselda are Buffalo, NY’s unstoppable force. As a group, Griselda have little to prove. Alone and together, the trio have gotten cosigns from some of hip-hop’s greatest writers: Black Thought, Pusha-T, and Raekwon. Respect given is respect earned and studied, in the case of Griselda. Bar for bar, WWCD is the essence of New York street rap for the modern era.—Donna-Claire Chesman

44. Maxo Kream — Brandon Banks

43. Kemba — Gilda

42. Mereba — The Jungle Is The Only Way Out

41. Baby Rose — To Myself

40. Lucky Daye — Painted

Given this was his debut record, Lucky Daye could've played it safe. As anyone who's heard "Roll Some Mo"—Painted's lead single and Lucky's breakout hit—knows, there's a wrenching tenderness to his voice that fits like a glove atop stripped-back production. The risk he took to pepper his album with funkier pop cuts, then, is not one every artist would have taken. Fortunately, Lucky rises to the challenge, proving himself a dynamic enough artist to erase this risk altogether. Plus, when he breaks out those vocals, they're all the more affecting because they've been used sparingly.—Hershal Pandya

39. KOTA The Friend — FOTO

No album warrants a tracklist of 19 songs. Yet, in crafting a worthy spiritual successor to the Rawkus Records era of music that many fondly romanticize, KOTA The Friend comes as close as humanly possible to justifying this run-time on FOTO. The album personifies the term “easy-listening,” maintaining a consistent mood throughout between KOTA’s strikingly unaffected delivery and the delicate, jazzy production on which he raps. No slouch on the mic, KOTA possesses a rare gift for situating bravado alongside vulnerability. He conjures favorable similarities to Phonte at his best, but not so much that FOTO ever suffers for these comparisons. —Hershal Pandya

38. Future — Future Hndrxx Presents: The WIZRD

Women, wealth, and worries are the three Ws found pulsing through the veins of Future’s seventh studio album, . Lyrically, there’s nothing new under WZRD’s promethazine sun, but the magic is in his ability to resurrect old muses as revamped concepts. Future hasn’t radically changed over the years, but here the presentation is altered. WZRD is another installment of melodic confessing, hypnotic anthems, and oil-black trap production that carries the infectious torch passed down from its predecessors. Still, it stands alone as a fresh glimpse into Future’s rockstar world. —Yoh

37. Quelle Chris — Guns

Quelle Chris is self-aware enough to know that everything in this life—emotions, money, ourselves—is weaponized. His sixth studio album Guns isn’t about physical violence as much as it’s a deconstruction of the actions we take in a world slowly devouring itself. Quelle travels the roads of Trump’s America with a twisted sense of humor and animated beats as his only sidearms, jumping between characters, ideas, and planes of existence as only he can. Guns is a polemic on reality itself, a reminder that no weapon formed against a sharp mind shall prosper. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

36. Toro y Moi — Outer Peace

What good is inner peace when the outer world is falling apart? Toro y Moi’s Outer Peace combines a sleek disco sheen with contemporary rap cadences to bring pep to an increasingly passive-aggressive world. The housing market has crashed (“New House”), and sex barely sells like it used to (“Ordinary Pleasure”), but at least James Murphy is spinning records at his house tonight (“Laws of The Universe”). That cynical sense of humor alone will keep your toe tapping throughout Outer Peace, that is,if the gorgeous grooves and crushing low-end don’t. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

35. James Blake — Assume Form

The most accessible of his projects to date, is a triumphant release that marks the evolution of James Blake’s artistry, as he matures past the reductive “sad boy” label he’s famously lamented. An unapologetically romantic album, Blake sheds the claustrophobic production of his previous output in favor of shimmering compositions, genuine hooks, and winning collaborations with the likes of André 3000 and Rosalia. Retaining his lyrical flair, Blake punctuates the album with quintessential lines, like “let's go home and talk shit about everyone,” that reminds you of the artist who first grabbed your attention years ago. —Hershal Pandya

34. Bad Bunny — X 100PRE

I’m in love with the way Bad Bunny says his name. I’m a sucker for a good self-reference, but I’m even more of a sucker for the way Bad Bunny bets on his longevity. With that, X 100PRE, Bunny’s debut album, is about being everlasting in a microwaved music industry. The record covers all adjacent hip-hop genres—which, at this point, means all genres—from pop-punk to trap, to lighter fare, and ballads with fine attention to getting our hips moving. You hear Bad Bunny, and you dance; you sing your heart out; you weep, and you celebrate. In one record, Bad Bunny captured every mode of human living. —Donna-Claire Chesman

33. Kyle Dion — SUGA

There are no words to explain Kyle Dion’s amazing, stunning, arresting, becoming, disarming, endearing, charming, affirming, enchanting, beguiling, mollifying, soothing, blaring, encouraging, surprising, yearning, pining, astounding, breathtaking, stupefying, thrilling, outstanding, exciting, exhilarating, electrifying, intoxicating, moving vocal tone on SUGA. Just press play. —Donna-Claire Chesman

32. Kehlani — While We Wait

While We Wait isn’t the full entrée, it’s just the appetizer. While waiting on the full-length follow-up to 2017’s SweetSexySavage, Kehlani treated fans to a taste of where she’s heading next. Kehlani bares her soul as staunchly as she always has to provide an unfiltered look into her state of mind. On While We Wait, she’s equal parts vulnerable and commanding, struggling to move on from a complicated relationship on “Too Deep” before confidently telling off an old lover on “Nunya.” With a diverse complement of beats, storylines, and moods, there’s plenty to enjoy on this small project. —Kenan Draughorne

31. 2 Chainz — Rap or Go to the League

Twenty-three years after the late, great Notorious B.I.G. rapped, “Either you’re slinging crack rock, or you got a wicked jump shot,” Atlanta hip-hop veteran 2 Chainz stands as an example of a man who had the jump shot and sold the drugs but ultimately chose rap as his escape route from poverty. His fifth studio album, Rap or Go to the League, is an opulent celebration inspired by the city that raised him and the odds he’s overcome. Rap or go to the League is a grown man still progressing as an artist, finding his most introspective voice. —Yoh

30. slowthai — Nothing Great About Britain

An agile storyteller, Northampton’s slowthai expertly mixes elements of UK grime and drill while unpacking the micro and macro of his British upbringing. Carrying no pretensions and seamlessly style-shifting across genres with his frenetic cadence, the singular rapper makes you move and listen simultaneously. In a year that has seen British rap dominate—from DAVE and Little Simz to Skepta and Octavian—slowthai’s versatility and poignant messaging set him apart. He’s funny while commanding attention, hilariously painting stark portraits of British classism, racism, and abuse in an ultimately gripping and focused fashion. —Zach Miller

29. Maxo — LIL BIG MAN

Maxo makes growing up sound incisive and blaring. This album takes place in the crevices of the torment of maturing. is a dusty reclamation of voice, relying on traditional boom bap structures and methodical writing to deliver a solemnly eviscerating experience. The wisdom baked into LIL BIG MAN will at once inspire, surprise, and soothe you. Maxo is Def Jam’s best-kept secret, but not for much longer. —Donna-Claire Chesman

28. Lizzo — Cuz I Love You

Equal parts bold, sexy, and witty, is a commanding listen that features Lizzo at her best. Harnessing her confident mic presence and ear for massive hooks, Lizzo creates a genuinely urgent body of work. A showcase for her eclectic sensibilities, the album jumps effortlessly between the eponymous opener, which recalls the work of The Alabama Shakes, to the infectious pop stylings of “Juice,” without missing a beat. It’s a shame Lizzo infamously fixated on one mixed review because overwhelmingly, the universal response to Cuz I Love You was justifiably glowing. —Hershal Pandya

27. Anderson .Paak — Ventura

A throwback to the beloved soul music of the ’70s, is a return to form for Anderson .Paak after the mixed bag that was . The key takeaway here is Anderson .Paak is fine when he raps, but he is special when he sings. Whether via the glorious, Smokey Robinson-assisted cut, “Make It Better,” or the disarmingly danceable, “Twilight,” Ventura is a breathing testament to this takeaway. The album offers lush canvasses to showcase the stunningly silky tone of .Paak’s voice. Add to this a transcendent André 3000 guest verse, and the case for Ventura becomes undeniable. —Hershal Pandya

26. GoldLink — Diaspora

Subtlety isn’t a characteristic that listeners often encounter on a major label album; the machine believes in a straight line product that doesn’t require further explanation. That’s not GoldLink. The Maryland native is a master of music woven to unveil slowly. With , his RCA “debut,” Link has created his most subtle, yet replayable work of art. Thanks to production warm as spring, Diaspora is a splash of Utopian sunshine, yet in the shadows of his lyrics, the 26-year-old is adding his mysterious life to the lexicon of Black music. It’s the mystery that endures, not the explanation, and GoldLink shapes Diaspora to be an album that lasts. —Yoh

25. Solange — When I Get Home

Solange’s take on Houston hip-hop belongs in a museum. She treats her hometown’s “chopped and screwed” traditions with elevated care throughout When I Get Home, placing it on a golden pedestal to be admired and revered. Dispersing interludes at every turn in the form of fragmented conversations and poems, she creates a linear journey that eternally builds upon itself. When “Almeda” parades into the spotlight with strutting kicks and whooping vocals, it’s impossible not to stand and salute Solange. —Kenan Draughorne

24. Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats — Anger Management

Kenny! Rico! Together! A match perfectly made, is a brisk concept album that captures all the stages of a temper tantrum and boasts some of Rico’s best work (“Big Titties”), and highlights the duo’s impeccable chemistry. Rico made this album from the heat of anger and the thrill of the up-and-down. She imparts boundless energy unto every cut. Kenny’s production is from another plane where music is warped and only made on acid. Their collective thump and vigor make Anger Management the pump-up album of every summer. —Donna-Claire Chesman

23. billy woods — Terror Management

You can’t eat books. You can’t rest easy at night. You can’t trust those closest to you. These are the lessons of billy woods’ second album of 2019, Terror Management. A show of strength from woods, who is writing through the apocalypse, Terror Management feels like being led down a series of jagged alleyways by a dishonest narrator. A narrator who is mistrustful in their own right. The album is knotty and internal. The album is wounded and beside itself. At times, Terror Management serenades fear. Sometimes, it merely quakes in place. Sometimes, woods cracks a joke. Most importantly, Terror Management is fucking good, man. Fucking. Good. —Donna-Claire Chesman

22. Ari Lennox — Shea Butter Baby

Ari Lennox blessed my new apartment during our interview; her soul is kind, and her music is knowing. Her musings on the failures of modern dating sound scrumptious with her silky vocal texture. The beauty of Shea Butter Baby is in the way Ari captures minutiae and makes it sound regal. She does not pull from the abstract, and it’s the rootedness of her art, the humble quality of the content, that makes the album such a triumph. Ari’s professing that this record is for Black women, too, is triumphant. The beauty and love of community permeate the work. —Donna-Claire Chesman

21. Polo G — Die A Legend 

Polo G isn’t waiting to receive his flowers. At just 20 years old, the Chicago rapper’s debut album, Die A Legend,reads like a breathless statement of purpose. Life has taken too much from the rapper, born Taurus Bartlett, for him to quit now. Across the album’s 14 tracks, scars created by loved ones lost (“Deep Wounds”) and a corrupt police system (“BST”) compel his meticulous croons. Even a banger like “Pop Out” mixes the spoils of victory and pained reflection with dizzying ease. Die A Legend maintains this balance throughout, finding energy in the melancholic. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

20. Snoh Aalegra — -ugh, those feels again

Often, you'll listen to a modern R&B record, and sandwiched between trap concessions and crossover attempts, will be a bare and emotive track that'll make you wonder, “why isn’t this the album?” On , Snoh Aalegra took this approach and ran with it, constructing an album composed entirely of these deep-cuts. The effect is 14 organic songs, across which Aalegra shows remarkable restraint. Though her vocals are as lush as the production, she's careful never to over-sing or push for the emotion. As she acknowledges via the album's title, the "feels" are more of an inevitability than anything else. —Hershal Pandya

19. DaBaby — Baby On Baby

DaBaby’s Baby On Baby is 32 minutes of exhilarating trap sermons. He builds the church of Baby On Baby upon confidence pure as cocaine, a charisma so contagious it could charm the Halliwell sisters. The lively, dynamic production perfectly fits his distinctive, Southern rap voice. There are few holes to be found in DaBaby’s artistic armor; it’s refreshing to hear a new artist sound so developed. Baby On Baby is one of the most replayable albums of the year, and at this rate, we will remember 2019 as the year that DaBaby broke out and began his hip-hop takeover. —Yoh

18. Burna Boy — African Giant

With African Giant, international Nigerian superstar Burna Boy created more than a masterpiece. He created a social statement and global experience. Burna paints a spiritual picture, one that is uniquely his own, yet still feels like it belongs to all of us. African Giant is undeniably Naija, dipped in history and Yoruba dialect, leaping over language and cultural barriers. Burna’s lyrics are poignant, coasting over production charged with Afrofusion anthems, dancehall riddims, and hymns. The 19-track album is not just a vibe; it’s a victory. —Ronnia Cherry

17. Boogie — Everythings For Sale

On , Boogie accomplishes the rare feat of making an intensely personal album that is simultaneously self-aware and suitably mature enough to avoid veering into the trap of solipsism. A distinctly West Coast album that borrows influences from the Midwest, Boogie brings the specificity of his lyricism to life with pretty production, alliteration-heavy flows, and an effortless knack for melody. All of these come together to create a surprisingly pleasant listening experience, despite the album’s undeniably dense subject matter. —Hershal Pandya

16. Little Brother — May The Lord Watch

That North Carolina duo Little Brother’s exists is a blessing. It was unclear if we’d ever see Little Brother—currently comprised of rappers Phonte and Rapper Big Pooh—on a record together again, but they pulled it off. On their fifth album, they sound like they’re happy to be together again. Phonte and Pooh appear rejuvenated, modernizing The Minstrel Show’saestheticwhile still dropping jewels that rap fans of any age will find relatable. The beats shimmer, and the rhymes are funny and poignant. Let’s be thankful that UBN’s hiatus was only temporary. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

15. EarthGang — Mirrorland

EarthGang’s Dreamville debut, , doesn’t stop moving. The motion of each song is exuberant and dynamic, a result of multi-flavored carnival production paired with WowGr8 and Olu’s animated storytelling. How the creative West Atlanta duo stretch and morph their voices to match a variety of styles and sounds make for an exhilarating debut album. It’s a Crayola box wrapped in dynamite. Mirrorland explodes from start to finish. —Yoh

14. Rapsody — Eve

Rapsody’s life music has evolved. Where 2017’s saw Rap focusing inward and weaving a gorgeous tapestry of the Black woman’s experience, features Rap looking outward in all directions. With her most enlivened performances to date, Rapsody honors the Black women who came before her, all to the point of creating opportunities for the Black women who will come after her to take up space. As an album, Eve is lively and emboldened. As a mission statement, Eve is admirable. Rapsody’s deep love of history and Blackness make this the most excitable album in her deep catalog. —Donna-Claire Chesman

13. Beyoncé — HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM

I remember falling in love when I first saw the HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM during a live screening of Coachella. Beyoncé has always been a great performer, but this album is more than just a performance. HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM pays homage to the Black artists that came before Beyoncé, it acknowledges how her Blackness has shaped her, and how she has shaped her Blackness. When she decided to share this moment of brilliance with the world, there was one word that came to mind: thankful. HOMECOMING is a replica of Beyoncé’s Coachella performance. It doesn’t just take us back to the moment; it fully placed us in it, as if we were there with her witnessing her at her peak. —Simi Moonlight

12. Danny Brown — uknowhatimsayin¿

Even at its darkest, Danny Brown’s music is bunches of fun. He gets immense joy from rhyming words together over the weirdest beats he can find. His traditionalist methods and gonzo music preferences meet halfway like never before on his fifth studio album The conceptual bombast of previous projects is thrown out the studio windows for thoughtful raps over zany beats. Executive produced by Q-Tip, the project is loose and punchy, chock full of vignettes as suitable for an open-mic standup set as they are for a rap album. At 38 years old, Danny has little left to prove. uknowhatimsayin¿ makes every word count. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

11. Megan Thee Stallion — Fever

The rise of Megan Thee Stallion is a blessing to witness. With her formal 300 Entertainment debut, the “1501 Queen” establishes herself as one of the most charismatic forthright rappers working. Her energy is explosive. Her writing is bombastic. Her deliveries are bursting with conviction and swagger. Megan Thee Mack is unchained and unstoppable on , a celebration of her Houston roots and flair for spending another man’s coin. Megan is a dominant force in hip-hop, and considering the sheer strength of Fever, she does not seem to be slowing down. —Donna-Claire Chesman

10. Young Thug — So Much Fun

is a safer work than some of Young Thug’s more elastic, head-spinning offerings. Across 18 songs, the long-awaited debut uses shoulder-shaking trap rhythms and ear-candy melodies to deliver his most accessible work since Rich Gang’s 2014 mixtape, Rich Gang: Tha Tour Pt. 1. It’s still Thug, though. He provides humor and hits, thrilling bravado, and infectious style, all while being the original nucleus that inspires many of his contemporaries today. So Much Fun is the commercial oeuvre for an artist who was always a star but never shined in the mainstream. —Yoh

9. FKA twigs — MAGDALENE

Heartbreak can be oddly beautiful. Rarely do people experience the depths of human emotion as fiercely as when they’re cocooned in its all-consuming agony. If this sounds at all like bad teenage poetry, trust me when I say FKA twigs mines this territory much more gracefully on her transcendent sophomore album, MAGDALENE. Listening to her sing tortured lyrics like, “Were you ever sure? No, no, no, not with me” in her painfully pretty falsetto, it’s hard not to luxuriate in her—and, by extension, your—palpable anguish. Musically, the album conveys the same message more viscerally. It envelops you in asphyxiating production, delivering pockets of euphoric catharsis in the form of cinematic instrumental flourishes and twigs’ gorgeous, boundless vocals. —Hershal Pandya

8. MAVI — Let the Sun Talk

MAVI wants us to understand him on his terms. At just 20 years old, the Charlotte, North Carolina native is capable of bending words to his will, a Sorcerer Supreme in the making coming to grips with his Infinity Stone. On his debut album, , MAVI’s words exist on the borders of Black thought, spirituality, and raw honesty; they are puzzles revealing different configurations with every listen. If you know, you know, and if you don’t, MAVI’s technical skill and ear for beats are enough to pull in weary travelers. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

7. billy woods & Kenny Segal — Hiding Places

billy woods and Kenny Segal are not scared; they are not in hiding. Instead, they are affecting wordsmith and mad scientist banding together to traverse the depths of retread emotions. A record concerned with the past and what it means for an emotional space to become hollow, will challenge and reward you in the same turn. Kenny Segal’s production is quietly cacophonous and cloudy, while woods presents his most direct and open writing to date. The pair belongs together. —Donna-Claire Chesman

6. Denzel Curry — ZUU

Denzel Curry is proof you can always go home. His latest album, ZUU, is a testament to home as the ultimate battery charger. Curry sheds the conceptual bombast of his last album, TA13OO, in favor of a non-stop thrill ride through the streets of his native Carol City, Florida. The sun-drenched comforts and drawbacks of home, along with clanging production from longtime collaborators FnZ, help him paint some of the most vivid images of his career. These are top-down bangers baked in the 98-degree sun. With ZUU, Denzel Curry found freedom in his backyard. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

5. Little Simz — GREY Area

Little Simz wants you to stop fucking with her heart. She says as much two tracks into , her boldly cathartic third studio album. At 25, Simz is approaching the threshold of adulthood with more questions than answers, armed with bars that cut to the bone. She’s been one of the UK’s best rappers for years, but her songs have never been so focused, the beats—cooked up by longtime producer Inflo—never so varied and explosive. GREY Area is her masterwork, a panoramic view of a future star fighting back a quarter-life crisis. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

4. Dave — Psychodrama

Plenty of reviews have regarded Dave’s as an album of a generation, a landmark of UK hip-hop, and we have to agree. Dave burrows into the depths of his psyche, and bravely reports his findings in an accessible and banging format. He makes the intimate aggressive and touching all at once. Psychodrama reveals Dave to be a master writer and rapper, an artist’s artist, and an artist to watch for years to come. —Donna-Claire Chesman

3. Freddie Gibbs & Madlib — Bandana

Good rap sequels are hard to come by. Thankfully, Freddie Gibbs and Madlib aren’t your average rapper-producer duo. Their debut album, 2014’s , recontextualized their respective sounds while cross-pollinating with each other’s audiences. This year’s is more holistic in form, its creators in sync for the first time. Their camaraderie strengthens Gibbs’ elastic flows (“Situations”) and storytelling (“Fake Names”) as much as it pushes Madlib to embellish his trademark samples with trap hi-hats (“Half Manne Half Cocaine”) and crisp kick drums (“Gat Damn”). Trust and freedom embolden this latest chapter in the MadGibbs Cinematic Universe. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

2. Jamila Woods — Legacy! Legacy!

Jamila Woods makes eternal music. Her runs, her inflections, and her writing are all meant to stand the test of time. On Legacy! Legacy!,Jamila performs a time-bending act, bringing her literary heroes back to life and keeping them squarely in our thoughts as she carries their poetics into her classic album. Legacy!’s success is rooted in a fullness of life and self-love. There is so much agony in the world, but there is still so much love to share. Jamila Woods is in the business of spreading love. Plus, the record also doubles as a great reading list. —Donna-Claire Chesman

1. Tyler, the Creator — IGOR

was a new dawn for Tyler, The Creator. A heartbroken and deluxe dawn. A funky and riveting one. IGOR covered the whole spectrum of heartache. From urgency and helplessness to naming, to pining, to grieving, to coming into yourself. Every step of nursing our lost souls was found on IGOR. The operative question of this epic album is: Who do we become when the rug is pulled out from under us, and our hearts break? The answer is multiple, and each thread of reply makes up the fabric of IGOR. We became angry. We become obsessive. We become deranged. We become desperate, at first for the past, and finally, for peace.

We’ve lived with IGOR for seven months. In those seven months, new meanings have continued to reveal themselves as the album gets uninterrupted play. I heard IGOR at a taco spot in Philly. I hear IGOR in my sleep. The ubiquity of its themes makes it an easy record to latch onto, sure. But the sparkle of its static, the grandiosity of its arrangement, and the needling melodies and vocal performances make IGOR a sonic marvel, too. Let’s also not forget this album is a queer triumph.

IGOR is the album of the year because it was the most ambitious and wrenching record of 2019. IGOR is an album you hold tight and play deep into the night and then play again when the sun comes up, and your eyes are crusted. It’s the album you remember during your last fight, and the album you play when you’ve achieved apathy in the face of pain. It’s the album for when you care too much, and for when you sincerely hope they’re happy. IGOR is as spectacular as the heartbreak itself.

In a world committed to making us all feel like tiny performers on tiny stages, dancing for imaginary currency, IGOR expands our universes. Suddenly, our every move feels precious, purposeful. Our feelings become valid; our hopes and dreams become imperative. Who we are is imperative. Tyler may be wearing a pressed suit and wig, but he is unmasked. Thanks to IGOR, we follow suit.—Donna-Claire Chesman

This content was originally published here.

[neotropical]

power series: charmaine theroux

general:

charmaine is not a physical being, rather, a spiritual manifestation of powerful negative emotions from humans and nonhuman creatures alike, similar to a chaos entity (like demons, but not quite, as she's not an agent of chaos) representing retribution. divine justice to some, ruthless revenge to others, or pure evil depending on your moral compass. this makes matagots extremely rare, as not two can ever be found in the same vicinity, much less the same timeline, and each is a byproduct of their society’s turmoil. a karmic response to it, if you will.

as newborns, matagots often take on the shape of animals as their power grows, possessing no previous memories or knowledge of how they came to be. at  that point, they only know how to feed. in charmaine’s case, it was that of a black feline. 

it is not known if she has ties to actual divinity, as no matagots in her timeline have been manifestations of such a powerful concept before. 

history:

she remained in a ‘feral’ state for decades, centuries even; surviving several attempts to eliminate her by a religious cult which believes her kind are nothing but harbingers of the apocalypse, to be destroyed at all costs. (she has no real recollection of it, but finds out she’s being monitored by them decades later).  

she was taken in by the Theroux family’s heir during her time in Paris' underground... one of the lesser known crime syndicates, which had lost all respect and prestige after the father got romantically involved with the already married heir of another family, leading to the murder of his wife and eldest daughter. 

this enabled the then nameless charmaine to make her first contract ever with the youngest daughter, in order to bring retribution to her mother and sister’s murderers. after making her true nature known to the young woman, that is. 

in exchange for her nearly wiping out the entirety of the Parmentier family, she received an ‘identity’, which bonded her to Adeline Theroux for life, bringing success and wealth to the family. Adeline named her after her late sister and gave her the Theroux surname.   

being sentient now, charmaine adapted herself to a physical human form, which closely resembles the original Charmaine Theroux back when she was alive.

seeing as she became an asset to the European Council due to her infamy in the parisian underworld, this has halted the Cult’s activities, making them opt for a stealthier approach... planting several of their members in her vicinity, as “allies” or working partners.

physiology:

she’s extremely durable due to the fact she has no real physical form, assuming one out of necessity to interact with the human realm. 

she can survive virtually all life threatening wounds, including extreme dismemberment and decapitation. she can regenerate herself from the molecular level, if need be, but it takes time and leaves her in an incorporeal catatonic state as her energy is consumed by the regeneration. minor injuries and loss of limbs are restored almost instantly though.

think about trying to ‘kill‘ a column of smoke. the same concept applies, for it to ‘disappear’ you have to put out the fire completely. but for that, you have to find the fire first. and even then, you can’t be sure it’s completely gone. after all, how do you kill something you can’t touch? the Cult, however, seems to have found a way.

she doesn’t ‘bleed’ like a human would, but rather, black smoke seeps from her wounds as they regenerate. it’s extremely toxic to humans and certain supernatural creatures.

her physical form is very flexible and malleable, which makes her quite agile and extremely fast on her feet.

she’s supernaturally strong, but her strength depends on the amount of matter she consumes. (see: consumption).

she’s vastly more powerful at night, especially during full moons.

abilities:

immunity: she’s immune to any form of mind control, elemental magic, and curses. she can be incapacitated and/or trapped by high level magic however, the likes of the most powerful council members. currently. seeing as she’s basically an infant in the power scale with no frame of reference, she has yet to discover all of her abilities. (could very well reach demigod or higher status at full maturity, seeing as she’s a manifestation of a powerful abstract concept).

consumption: she can consume anything in her path if she chooses to, whether it’s biological or artificial. it’s useful when she has to get rid of corpses in order to pass unnoticed by mortals. the more she consumes, the slower she becomes though, as she needs time to transmutate the physical matter into energy. what she loses in speed she gains in physical strength, so it’s a decent trade off.

communion: she can form a temporary contract with humans or other creatures in order to enact revenge on their behalf. the more powerful their desire for revenge is, the more powerful she becomes in turn, which makes the errand easier. the outcome depends on the individual, as not all retribution is the same. those who were justified receive blessings of fortune and success during a short period of time after the contract ends to balance their misfortune, and those who were more selfish in their desires receive instances of bad luck and misery instead. 

this ability gained her the reputation of a ‘patron saint’ in the supernatural underworld, to the point of being worshipped in some circles who link her to the ancient goddess Nemesis/Adrestia . “She, whom none can escape.”

revelation: she can gaze into ‘the heart’ of mortal creatures, and know if they’re lying. it’s more instinctual than literal.

transmutation: similar to shapeshifting, she can freely change between physical and nonphysical forms. she can mutate body parts or her entire body if needed, and in some instances, achieve a monstrous ‘newborn or primordial’ form resembling a giant feline built of what appears to be dark matter, which can kill lesser creatures if gazed at directly (though she can’t mutate to this form at will and has no recollection of being able to do so).

darkness manipulation: she can absorb light at will, covering wide areas in absolute darkness even during the day. this helps when she needs to be extra stealthy.

shadow walk: she can move unnoticed through walls and physical objects once she discards her physical form. she can basically ‘become’ someone’s shadow too, being able to follow them anywhere.

[kimfernandez-blog1]

Sun in Pisces and Moon in Aries

You have a judicial type of mind, aware, alert, and intuitive, relating knowledge, life, principles and ideals strictly to yourself, and then allowing your concepts to take in general principles. You are naturally reserved, although a vitality of manner makes you appear less so than you really are. Behind the expansiveness of approach you have a private life of your own that remains untouched, and you are forming judgments of people and events all the time. You are rather more self-sufficient than you appear; you like to reach forth from your private world and influence other people at the same time that you remain detached and a little proud and aloof. Your self-respect is tremendous and, working hand in hand with your independence of spirit, carries you along in the world. There is something solid and substantial about you that other people trust.

You are affectionate and somewhat ardent in love, though you are touchy and easily offended. You are a trifle quarrelsome and have something of a chip on your shoulder - in your manner, at least. You are temperamental in the real sense, and temperament, anger, bafflement, and frustration make you nervous and rebound on you so that you are likely to be more hurt than your opponent. You need peace and calm and shouldn't let the more aggressive side of your nature disturb the repose that is so needful to the other side. You have about you an air of authority which is confusing to less positive people who are always relieved to find out that you aren't as unyielding as you appear. You are very sympathetic and understanding, and your bravado is in the nature of a protective shell around a very sensitive core.

You are super-social, and have difficulty through emotional jumpiness. This is a business and professional rather than an artistic position. Your aggressive nature deals with other people better than with abstractions or ideals, and your magnetism helps you to success in material matters through your ability to organize and manage.

Sun

The Sun indicates the appearance you will present before the world and the psychological bias which will dominate your actions. What you seem, and why, are told in the reading for your Sun. In many ways the Sun is the dominant force in your horoscope and in your life. Other influences, especially that of the Moon, may modify the Sun's influence, but nothing will cause you to depart very far from the basic solar pattern. For this reason a whole literature and a whole business have grown up around Sun-sign astrology; and many people exist who think there is nothing more to the horoscope than knowing what "sign you were born in" and what the Sun in that sign means. This is a mistake, as you will discover when you have read the influence of the other bodies. But throughout your reading, keep in mind always the basic influence of the Sun, and remember that all other influences must be interpreted in terms of it, especially in so far as other influences play a visible role in your life. You may think, dream, imagine, hope to be a thousand things, according to your Moon and your other planets, but the Sun is what you are, and to be your best self in terms of your Sun is to cause your energies to work along the path in which they will have maximum help from planetary vibrations.

Pisces seeks salvation within himself, striving always for self-sufficiency, self-knowledge and effacement of self. His aim is deep and worthy, and if he does not succeed, it is because of the difficulty of the goal rather than because he does not try. His early aim appears material, because he knows instinctively that the search for self goes on most successfully if physical wants are not a source of worry. But he is not always equipped by nature for the give-and-take of commerce, and often feels himself a failure when he should not. His "failure" is more often than not that of a square peg in a round hole. When he finds his noncommercial place of service, love, understanding, he goes far toward the deep kind of satisfaction that is his personal, and therefore his true, success.

Because his aim is different, he tries ill-advisedly to accommodate himself to what he thinks he ought to be instead of following what his heart and instinct tell him. And because he wishes deeply to do the right thing, he becomes confused about his true aims and gets bewildered and lost in the business of living. It all comes about because he has forgotten the stir, small voice - because he has allowed himself to be distracted from his true desires - and because in following an uncongenial and unfamiliar path his feet stumble. He thinks he is misunderstood - but this is true only because he misunderstood himself, tried to palm himself off for something that he wasn't, and found he didn't have the heart to go through with it. When he is being his truest, deepest self he is crystal clear - unselfish, sweet, lovable, devoted, demanding little, giving much, eager always to sacrifice himself for others.

It is only in the presence of the material world, when Pisces tries to submerge the sweetness which he may come to be ashamed of, that he is unhappy. It is then that he becomes demanding, jealous, unreliable, self- deceived and perhaps even deceptive-because he is trying to force his meditative spirit into a harness where it must try to be something it isn't. Let Pisces follow his heart, his conscience, his inner desire for service, self- realization and self-knowledge, and the world be damned, and he is the happiest, most useful of mortals, living comfortably with deep spiritual truths that give him an almost mystic grip on other people and on the reins of his own life.

Your luck and energy may be good, but you need to work up drive, direction, and purpose. 

Moon

While the Sun's position by sign determines what motives and urges dominate your life as it meets the naked eye, the sign position of the Moon tells the desire of your heart which may or may not be expressed or realized in your life. When you "know what you mean but you can't say it," it is your Moon that knows it and your Sun that can't say it. "Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears" are the thoughts of your Moon's nature. The wordless ecstasy, the mute sorrow, the secret dream, the esoteric picture of yourself that you can't get across to the world, or which the world doesn't comprehend or value - these are the products of the Moon in your horoscope. When you are misunderstood, it is your Moon nature, expressed imperfectly through the Sun sign, that you feel is betrayed. When you know what you ought to do, but can't find the right way to do it, it is your Moon that knows and your Sun that refuses to react in harmony. Also, when you "don't know why I said that," it was your Moon expressing despite your Sun (if you are innerly satisfied with the involuntary speech), or the Sun expressing against the will of the Moon (if you are displeased with what has slipped out). Things you know without thought - intuitions, hunches, instincts - are the products of the Moon. Modes of expression that you feel are truly your deepest self belong to the Moon: art, letters, creative work of any kind; sometimes love; sometimes business. Whatever you feel is most deeply yourself, whether or not you are able to do anything about it in the outer world, is the product of your Moon and of the sign your Moon occupies at birth.

Moon in Aries

You are best satisfied by a picture of yourself as an independent thinker, a mental force, a person of intellectual or physical daring and courage. The truth is important to you - the truth, that is, as you see it individualistically, which may or may not bear a relation to proven facts. Your message to yourself is: Be strong, be forceful, be independent, be brave; and so powerful is this lunar position that you are likely to become these things in some degree even if your Sun sign tries to make you a Caspar Milquetoast. The meek and mild gentleman with the bar of steel inside him very likely has Moon in Aries; likewise the sweet lady who looks as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth and nevertheless rules her husband ruthlessly. This is one of the positions in which the Moon can be strong enough to take the dominance of the nature away from the Sun and cause you actually to become in the outer world what you imagine yourself to be. You may do this slowly, with quiet firmness, or swiftly, with bluster and braggadocio. You think well of yourself, and any trend to inferiority feeling indicated elsewhere in the horoscope is more than likely to meet its match here. This is a weak position only if the Sun is in Libra, in which case the dictates of the Sun must be followed and the lunar instincts ignored. In any case, the studious development of mental powers, through formal education and a willingness to use your mind power to rule yourself rather than to rule others, is essential to your success and happiness.

Sun in Pisces, Moon in Aries

The combination of your Sun sign and your Moon sign produces an inner nature that differs greatly from the outer or projected personality. Its hard to strike a balance between a sense of inward peace, and reactions that are quite impulsive, active and even aggressive. There is a blending of emotional sensitivity, adaptability and understanding that is Pisces, with the high spirit and independence of Aries. With this there is generally a strong urge for personal advancement, fame or at least recognition, but you may need greater confidence and inward incentive to realize these desires. You may possess considerable ability for personal expression if you can just make the decision to go after it. Your strength lies in your natural love of knowledge and your urge to always be well-informed. You are also very self-reliant; showing keen mental ability, the ability to think for yourself. Its important for you to avoid extremes in your life, understanding the value of moderation and self-control. You should not neglect your need to find a peaceful world and a calm approach to problems, despite natural tendencies to overdo and be rather hard-driving. In many ways you seem to be very assertive, competitive and determined, but in actual fact, you are not really as positive and sure of yourself as you appear. In some ways there is a good bit of bluff in your personality. You put a lot of romance and feeling into everything you do, expressing much enthusiasm with a most purposeful approach to life. Yours is an unusual combination in that it possesses a rare capacity for depth of feeling, imagination and vision, while it also features so much personal assertiveness and a powerful demand for independence.