#they can have a bit of happines (lie. it's sad)

[milanosbitch]

my angel by Adrianne Lenker

[dreamrecorder]

When the earth crumbles to dust.

Alternatively: "Until then, we will find each other again." <|||>

fluff & angst shot, reincarnation au, modern au

| Zhongli x Guizhong | Zhongli x Reader |

Warning: ptsd, panic attack

He came to learn of the name of the young woman with billowing sleeves. Guizhong.

Zhongli realized, that the Goddess of Dust has become a prominent turning point of his life. Back then when he lived the title of the God of War, he was vicious, cold, and unfeeling. However, because of her, such attributes mellowed and eventually died out.

When the goddess died, cutting off her final words, grief and despair washed over the man. Such emotions, he had not felt before. But because of her, he feels. He felt these foreign yet strong emotions run through him. All these emotions, for her.

Yet, it was too late, Zhongli realized.

It was hard for him to stand back up after her death in the field of wilted glaze lilies. Yet the man hardened himself, as he is the very embodiment of the earth. Thus, he protected her people and his which would later unite to what is Liyue today.

Perhaps, if he had not met her, Liyue would not exist.

However, to this day the memory of her death still haunts him. What would have she said, if she completed her final words?

'If you can unlock it-' then what? If the man was being honest, he was not sure if he wanted to hear those words. However, truth be told Zhongli does know how to complete the puzzle Guizhong had left him.

He was just scared. Afraid even. The Memory of Dust... Zhongli was afraid that if he unlocked it, it would also turn into dust, just as the goddess did. This is why he did not bother unlocking the artifact as it is his final memento of his love... Zhongli knew that the time will come when he is ready to open the artifact. As such, the God of Contracts made a contract to himself.

...

There was a time, actually, when he was ready to unlock the secrets of the Memory of Dust. However, a certain someone made him rewind his emotions of grief and longing all over again.

A woman with long, snow white hair and a pair of red eyes- along with the skill of crafting and constructing proven by the floating chamber above Liyue. Everything about that woman reminded him of Guizhong. It just pains him. In fear of feeling grief again, he avoided her as much as possible. But it didn't help him any further preparing himself to open the Memory of Dust.

So, he waited, abiding by the contract Zhongli made for himself.

...

Sipping tea, Zhongli finishes typing the last of his speech for a seminar regarding the history and culture Liyue. He leaves the cafe, with the next destination in mind- the local museum of Liyue. As a man of culture, Zhongli finds visiting the museum a pleasant experience. However, today's visit made him empty.

Just as he was gazing on a painting of glaze lilies, a young woman with billowing sleeves, stood by him.

At first, he had not paid you any attention. He only did when you spoke.

"You know... when I painted this, most of the time I think something's missing. Even now, actually."

Zhongli's gaze focused on the woman, and he swore he saw her. He gulped.

"I think... the scenery is perfect by itself already. What would you have added if you think your piece is still lacking?"

You pondered a bit, white hair shfting as your head tilted. Your red eyes, suddenly deep with wisdom.

"I don't know..." you began as doubt laced your voice. "I thought of two different scenarios before... But whatever scenario I choose, their outcome would be the same. They would make me... sad?

I'm not gonna lie, I like how this piece turned out. To others, it would seem that scene conveys serenity and happines, but to me... It just seems so... empty."

Zhongli hummed in understanding and agreement, as he, too also sees the emptiness in the painting despite the great skill and detail in it. It was missing her. The painting was empty, just like his heart. "If you don't mind, would you like to share to me what you wanted to add?"

You met the man's eyes and a flick of familiarity whirred in your head, but you ignore it. "Maybe another time? I'm just here for a quick visit the director."

For some reason, Zhongli felt disappointed. "I see. Perhaps another time then. I'm usually here every Sunday evening."

"Sure, I... I think I can work with that. See you then." And with that, you left. Leaving the man in the dust.

The next time Zhongli met you, it was another Sunday evening. When proper introductions were done, again, there was that flick of familiarity, but you did not bother. Once the both of you are seated in the benches just outside the museum, you showed him your laptop. When you did, you saw the the way Zhongli's expression shifted into a familiar sadness. It was almost like the expression you make whenever you face the empty painting.

"The field of glaze lillies, you see... I dream of it a lot. But not as the one displayed in the gallery. There were always two scenarios in the same field of glaze lillies."

Nostalgia filled Zhongli's entire being and he felt the Memory of Dust hum softly within him. It gave him a sense of comfort. The first picture was that of him and Guizhong in perfect likeness of their appearances. And the second... The second was also in perfect likeness of her death.

Observing the man's reaction. Something- sank into you. A realization. "Why... why do you look like him?"

The question brought Zhongli back to reality and quickly recovered himself, replying that it must be pure coincidence and chance. But he knows that you are her.

You were suspicious at his answer first, but brushed it off. Then your phone rang. Looking at the caller, you stood up. It was time for you to leave again.

"It seems that our time together has come to an end. As for the paintings, forget about it, would you?" Then you turned around, about to leave.

Those words... those words were also what Guizhong uttered when she-

The bench creaked as the man abruptly stood up, grabbing your wrist.

"D-don't leave..." Zhongli croaked, feeling... things again.

There was a desparation in his eyes you couldn't ignore. Your heart was beating loudly in panic. Don't leave? Why? Observing the man again, you decided that your worries were not of your priority. Zhongli began to sweat profusely, his grip tightening, his breathing labored, his body shivering, his eyes clouding.

"Shit, calm down, Zhongli. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving..." you said with a reassuring tone as you sat the two of you on the bench. His grip was still on your wrist but you didn't mind. "Come on work with me, Zhongli. Breathe with me. There, inhale... exhale... inhale... exhale..."

Inhale...

Exhale...

Inhale...

Exhale...

You're not leaving. You're there. You're alive. You're alive. You're alive. You're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're aliveYou're alive

"You okay?" Your voice brought him back to life again. Trying to reassociate himself, Zhongli took note of his surroundings. Then, he took note of how your hands held his.

"What's this?" The question piqued his curiosity. You knelt down the floor and lifted something, but he could not see. He took another note again, his heart felt emptier. Emptier...

The Memory of Dust!

When you were back at his side again, his panic rose when he saw you holding the memento. His instonct told him to take it back, but the way you held it seemed... right.

"This... How did you get this? I had this when I was five then it suddenly went missing when I was sixteen. How did you get this?"

Zhongli steeled himself. It was now or never. "D-Don't you remember me...? Guizhong?"

And just like that, your name from long before along with the artifact unlocked the memories which presented themselves as dreams haunting you for so long.

You saw everything. A great golden dragon by your side. A man and a crane on a high mountain peak. Battles and deaths. Ballistas. The floating chamber. The death of the dragon. And most of all, the man by your side with you in a field of lovely glaze lillies.

With tears streaking your cheeks, you gingerly held the now glowing artifact. "Are you not going to open this yet?" You asked the man with a teasing grin and an equally teasing tone towards him.

Zhongli, still processing, could only blink at your question. "W-what?"

You chuckled at his state. "Has your brain finally eroded, Morax? I asked when are you going to open the Memory?"

Morax?

Zhongli swiftly pulled you into a hug as he buried his face on your shouldef. He was holding onto you for dear life as you reciprocated the gesture as well.

"It's really you..." Zhongli murmmured, voice muffled, when you took notice of the interval shivers of his body.

"Come on, please tell me those are happy tears?" You asked curiously, still caressing the long hair of his. Zhongli could only nod and you laughed once more.

The moment the man nodded, the Memory of Dust crumbled away and Zhongli understood.

A/n: brain dead thoughts empty but i need more guizhong lore but happiness is the way to go lol

[zodiyack]

Under Stars

Requested by anon: Hi, my love! I have a request where Y/N take the bullets instead of John. Like, she put herself in front of him allowing him to kill those men. She sees herself alone, since Thomas is married, Arthur has Linda and everyone is kinda moving on with their lives. After discussions (which makes her fell alone and useless) , Y/N sacrifices herself for John and his happinness, saying before she dies something like "I want you all to be happy". Sorry if u already made something like that + (Addition to their request)

Pairing: Shelby Family & Gray Family + Shelby!reader (no romance)

Warnings: Death, angst, murder, mention of depression, sad soft stuffs

Note: TITLE IS INSPIRED BY AURORA’S “UNDER STARS” FOR THE MEANING OF THE SONG WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE  K BYE I’M SORRY! Also; extra bit at the end, I added it cause the title, I hope it’s okie! I cried while writing this oml

Taglist: @matth1w​ @redspaceace​

masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

“Got nothin’ better to do on Christmas morning?” John put down his gun when he realized it was only Michael.

“Tommy wants everybody at Charlie’s yard now, come on.” Michael gave a slight tilt of his head. Y/n creeped out next to John, hair messed up from her nieces’ and nephews’ game of climbing on their aunt human-sized-jungle gym the previous night. They sure were excited hear that their aunt would be staying for Christmas.

He turned, pushing his dog into the house and trying to close the door so they could get going. “Get in. Get in!” They walked around, “What’s going to happen? It’s fucking Christmas.”

“Look John, we don’t have time for this.”

“Alright, just come into the house.” Michael interrupted him, “Just come to the meeting-” but he continued like Michael never even spoke. “Have some food”

Esme rushed to the door, pushing John aside when he opened it, despite his “ey”s, and stomped over to Michael. She got extremely close to his face and angerly spat out her take on the situation, “Tell Tommy Shelby we can look after ourselves!”

However, Michael remained calm. “Tommy says they could come for us today, Esme-”

“’Tommy says’,” she turned to John and Y/n, repeating her mimic, “‘Tommy says’,” turning back to Michael, she released the same anger, “Are you his fucking parrot?!”

“Look, it’s the mafia! Alright? This is the New York mafia we’re talking about!”

“And we’re the Peaky fucking Blinders.” John stated, gun slung over his shoulder.

“No, we’re not, John! We’re not the Peaky fucking Blinders unless we’re together!”

Esme stepped closer to Michael, “You were together in the gallows, with one man missing.”

Michael took a second, then ignored Esme and returned to his calmed state. “John. John, come to the meeting. All right? Think about the kids.” John’s gaze began to move, as did his body when Esme turned to see his reaction, “Come to the meeting, and if you want to leave, then fine.”

“No. It’s Christmas day. We have a family now, we’re staying at home!” Esme shouted. Michael looked to Y/n with a pleading raise of his eyebrows. She closed her eyes and shook her head with shrug, there wasn’t much she could do to change Esme’s mind.

A man pushed over a hay bale, vaulting over it and readying his gun.

John, already facing the direction of the cart, did the same, cocking his gun and yelling to Esme and his sister. “In the fucking house!”

Michael lifted his head, noticing the man and cart. “Esme-” More men jumped out. Michael recognized the cart, which he had passed on the way here. The honking of his car’s horn as he rushed, a form of pleading for it to move out of his way.

John fired at them, hitting a hay bale but missing the men. “John!” Michael pushed Esme inside and tossed a gun to his cousin, who ran beside her brother in an attempt to help. She quickly realized her brother’s mistake in the choice of his gun. He was quick to shoot again, but the men were quick to shoot back, weapons faster than his shot gun.

Esme halted behind the door, glancing to the siblings with fear. No. It couldn’t be. It pained her just much as it would had it been the other Shelby. It wasn’t John, though he had been in the front, it was his sister. She pushed herself in front of her brother. Unknown to anyone but her, her mind flashed with thoughts of her family, of John’s family. Of Charlie and her other nieces and nephews. Of her mother.

The bullets hit her in repetition, over and over and over again. The bullets from the mafia continued hitting her stomach and chest leaving bloodied holes in her clothing and body. Time felt like it was moving in slow motion.

Y/n felt nothing but content. Peaceful. Free.

The violent scene resumed around her soon-to-be-lifeless body as she dropped to the ground. Michael was hit with a bullet, not enough to kill him, but grazing him just right, just enough, to make him drop to the ground as well, dragging John down with him.

A peaceful moment. Though she now lie hanging onto life as tight as she could, maybe just to say goodbye, she felt peaceful. A smile found it’s way onto her face, the shock and pain got to her, a dreamy look filled her eyes.

She could hear Esme’s painful screams, the agony and sorrow dripping from her throat. She felt John lift her head onto his lap and his tears drip onto her face. His face was red, nose snotty and eyes puffy as he cried for her to hold on. As he cried and told her that they’d find someone who could help. As he told her that they would kill the mafia for what they did to his sister.

“J-John.” She coughed up blood. Her head twitched slightly as John’s hand caressed her cheek, Esme and Michael now kneeling over her body as well. Y/n’s eyes scanned Michael’s wounds, to which he gave her a look. A look that read regret and possibly a message of “now’s not the time”.

“Take c-care of Esme and y-your kids. Tell them I-I love them. Tell all of our fam-family I l-love them.” She smiled up at his teary face, blood coating her teeth and spilling out of her mouth a bit. “I want you all to be happy.” 

With that last sentence, her eyes stopped acknowledging their presences and flicked up to the sky. A final breath left her mouth and her head lolled limp on his lap. His thumb, still stroking her cheek, felt the warmth leave her body, slowly being replaced with a dreadfully-familiar cold. The cold of the dead. 

His sister now lied dead in his lap, a smile still upon her face, no hint of regret anywhere. Esme clung to him once she processed Y/n’s passing. The way she shoved herself in front of her brother so carelessly, like she wanted it to happen. She thought of the way Y/n had been hesitant to join them or Tommy and Grace, or really any of the couples of the family, when they went places.

Before Y/n passed, when she was looking to the heavens, her mind showed her a sight. She stood before her mother, who was smiling and well in the afterlife. Y/n couldn’t think of anything else, but joining her. Her mother moved to the side, showing her more of what she could join in on. 

She knew all three of the women in front of her. Grace talked with John’s dead wife, both of them smiling at Y/n and eagerly beckoning her over to them. Her mum slowly moved her hand, welcoming Y/n to the paradise. 

So, she grabbed onto her mother’s extended hand and greeted her new company.

. . .

“Go fuck those bastards responsible!” Polly sobbed a yell at Tommy, returning to her place over Y/n’s body, brushing her hair from her face. Her lifeless body was brought to the family and chaos ensued.

Tommy grabbed handfuls of his hair and tugged while yelling until his face turned red upon the discovery of his dead sibling. Arthur threw items, flipped tables, and let the cries of agony escape him just as Tommy had. The rest of the family had pretty similar reactions, aside from Ada.

Her eyes were greeted with the sight of her sister, bloodied up and dead. Her hand darted to her mouth, tears spilled from her eyes, her legs moved to Y/n’s side before she could think of the action. Whimpers and small croaks of screams left her mouth muffled.

They knew one of them were likely to die at some point. They wouldn’t have handled that well either. But. Their sister? The kind and cheery one of the bunch. The one who hid her tough shield behind her forgiving smile? No one thought she’d be the first to leave the living.

Her depression was known, and her family helped her care for it, helped make her happy and let her know how much they loved her. They tried their hardest, and her thoughts of suicide were gifted to her in a disguise of murder. But why?

Why her?

“It should’ve been me...”

“Don’t say that John...she wanted you alive...”

“It should’ve though...” Pangs of guilt were sent straight to not just his heart, but his brothers’. His sister’s. His aunt’s. His wife’s. His cousin’s. They felt guilty for what had been done, the murder of Y/n was no one of the Peaky Blinder’s fault, but everyone still blamed themselves.

. . .

John and Esme cuddled into each other by the fire, no words being spoken, their hearts heavy and eyes watery. One of John’s children walked up to them, rubbing their puffy red eyes that matched their parents’ and tilting their head at their father.

“Are you crying cause you miss Auntie? Don’t worry, she’s just sleeping. Under those stars outside my window. She’s.. she has only fallen asleep.”

“What?”

“Auntie. She’s only fallen asleep. And when God says it’s time, he’ll wake her up.” The little boy climbed onto the sofa. “I hope she’s dreaming of me. What about you, mummy?”

Esme’s mouth had dropped in shock from the sentence. “I-I- uh yeah... I do too, my love. I think she’s dreaming of you, for sure. I- I think she’s dreaming of you, me, daddy, all of us.”

“I hope she has a good sleep. Speaking of sleep, can you tuck me in? Aunt Y/n did it a special way...I miss it when she tucked me in.” John and Esme’s hearts ached at the sight of their child, eyebrows scrunched in thought before he jumped up and his face filled with joy. “Maybe when she wakes up she can tuck me in again!”

“Of course sweetie...” Esme’s voice cracked with sadness laced through her words and smile. “Time for bed, dearest... Wanna show mummy and daddy how Auntie used to tuck you in?”

The boy beamed with happiness, nodding eagerly at the idea. “Mhm!” He grabbed his parent’s arms and pulled them into his room, telling them instructions. After he finished, they sat on his bed with him, their tears breaking free at his final sentences before he kissed them goodnight;

“Goodnight Y/n! I hope you wake up soon, we miss you! Sleep well and dream good dreams of me under those stars of yours!”

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Don't touch...

(L/n) (Y/n).

Quirk? Unknown to him until the days of today...

Your company after all these years had been quite... enjoyable for him to not say the least. Most of the time you wore a mask, gloves and clothes that covered most of your skin, yet you always opted to be more free, feel the sun and the wind on your skin... he never get it why though.

Without the clothes you would remember a bit of him, flinch away from the touch even before it could touch you... yet when it was on your clothing you just reacted calmly and dare he say even sweetly.

He came to know you as kids, just barely when he entered the yakusa Pops showed to him you.. a kind soul that asked him if he wanted to play despite the look of distrust and hatred he gave to you just when you looked at him.

He never complained about you not wanting to be touched, he didn't liked it either. But he could tell you had... different reasons. As the years went by, he notice the dreadfull and even the remorse behind those (E/c) eyes of denying someone touch, a pat on the head, a hand shake... a hug.

It was... strange.

It's funny how reverse psychology worked... thats at least what he deduced from his own analysis. He didn't felt comfortable, heck actually he felt sick to the stomach if everyone else got too close to him or forbid God to ever lay a finger on him... but with you? The more you would get away from him, the more he wanted you to stay by his side... you were one of the few whose he felt comfortable enough.

He had gone through one of the most painfull feeling right on his childhood. Parental neglect and abuse, not even mentioning the pain he had to atture of controling his own quirk, testing on both victims and himself. Seriously, what could be worse than that?

Simple. When he found out that he was actually catching feelings for you, and your neglect of touch was even from him.

He didn't know what was so special that left his skin itching to just brush against yours...he just.. needed to test the waters. Yeah, it was only that.

The Hassaikai for a very long time had a plan for touching you. Since you werent as deadly and scary as Kai, and had kinda of a good partnership for all of them, he just could watch the shit go downs.

But soon stopped being a joke one day where Mimic went from behind you and tried to grab your wrist as you listened to his other plan to tell Pops later. He didn't even could tell you before your reflexes acted and you kicked Mimic square in the face.

"Dont. Touch me. This is not a joke anymore." You muttered in anger before bowing to Kai and leaving the room, his golden eyes widening at the drops of tears you let it slip from your eyes.

Mimic never once thought that the young sucessor of the Hassaikai could be even more enraged and such a monster when dealing with you. Rappa could only laugh since this time he wasn't the one having his ass beaten and overhauled. Haha poor him I torture him sometimes here

He couldn't understand... until the day where you were crying your eyes out. He couldn't understand until you just threw three blankets at him and hugged him for all your might.

His breath suddenly dissapeared...he didn't know what to say or even do at that point, and just when he was about to lower his arms you pulled away from and took the three massive blankets away from.

"Sorry, Chisaki.." you sniffled as he blinked, stoic gaze still present at your depressed state. "Really, forgive me I-"

"You never once told me about your "despise" for touch." He interrupted you, letting you lift your head for him to speak again "We both know my reason, but you're far away from a clean freak person or a mysophobic... explain it."

His eyes never widened at the point where it even hurted his whole life.

Your illness. Your quirk. That was why you couldn't touch anyone neither let anyone touch you. Your quirk allowed you to give resistance to others with only one glance and gave you amazing reflexes... but the consequences were way too big....

Hearing this made his skin form into hives, anger at despicable things rising even more.

From that way beyond, he promised himself that he would create a cure. It didn't even matter, he just needed a cure for this. A cure for you to stop suffering.

More years went by... he saw your worry at Pops condition, he saw your worry towards him for both being charged with the chore of taking care of the girl and both for him to get the tittle as the big boss.

Yet he couldn't stop. When he discovered Eri's quirk he saw a hint of light on the end of the tunnel. You wouldn't ever need to use thick clothes to protect yourself from vanishing from existence.

The bullets were only experimental. He selled most of them to be used as... experiments. He would use the first serum on you, and this way you could stop this nightmare where many nights you confessed to him... as he confesses his own sins.

You wouldn't like to know about Eri, so he simply erased the idea of telling you that. He never answered your questions on what he was working. His mind fooling him that he wasn't exactly lying to you if he hadn't said anything.

He could only be relieved to graze your skin under only using his gloves... at first he thought it would be enough, but no.

Love is like a damn drug. The more you get, the more you want. And he couldn't help but want more.

The bullets were a success... but he knew heroes were coming towards him. That blonde and green haired kid surely were behind this...

So the least he could do was give you a night to remember if anything went wrong on those next few days.

"A festival?" You asked with wide eyes before gasping at him putting the box on the desk. "Huh?"

"You always talk about them." He answered nonchantly, montioning with his eyes at the box as hs stuffed his hands on his pockets.

You snickered and opened the box carefully before widening your eyes, picking the golden and with traces of shiny green yukata on your hands... you were out of words until you gasped at Chisaki leaving and standing on the door way, giving you only one side eye glance as he spoke before he closed the door.

"I expect you to be ready by 8."

You blinked in shock before softening your gaze, holding the yukata over your body as you could only smile...

You were tired of living this way... if it meant you could spend a night with the man you love normally... so be it.

.

.

.

The sky had a bunch of lanterns and it shined with the lights of it along with the stars. You bounced and walked happily ahead of Chisaki with a basket.

He was always wary of anyone who ever dared to step closer... the yukata covered your legs, chest and arms. But you noisy self insisted on going without gloves and he was actually worried that the material of the yukata he brought wasn't as thick to protect your skin.

Yet he had to only breath in and out, the air making it hotter around the area where his mask was... he had one of the serums in here. With him. Soon he will inject, and gave to you your freedom.

"Ne Kai! Look at that booth over there!" You tugged on the material of his own yukata as his golden nonchantly gaze looked at the mans throing balls and hitting the aims of the booth, winning prices for their kids and partners.

He let out a "tch" before noticing how your eyes shined and how your lips quivered up at seing the stuffed animals the man was giving.

Blinking, he sighed, muttering how he this was a waste of time before he dropped a bunch of coins to the man and grabbed three balls.

You clapped your hands in glee as he threw the three balls and with the most perfection he hit the three aims right on the middle of it.

"Choose." He said nonchantly while grabbing a napkin and wiping his GLOVED hands as you pointed at a cute yet fluffy and chubby penguin. Without the man grabbing the stick, he lifted his hand up and yanked the stuffed animal and hand it to you as you squealed, nuzzling your face on it with glee... making him smile at how innocent and sad this scene was.

Everytime you would look at a treat or just a snack he would buy... you even wondered with wide eyes and mouth full how much he brought to this festival as he only growled for you to not speak with a mouth full.

You were hugging the price Chisaki won to you for warm as he looked at you and stopped, it was on a fair and quite isolated area of the festival so he found the perfect time to give you the medice. Your cure.

"Cold?"

"A bit." You giggled before you saw him taking a box and overhauling it, showing a little red capsule "What's this?"

"... (Y/n).. I despise touch. I really do.. but I can't lie that I wasn't expecting at least to feel a real contact between us, skin to skin... you know how much you affect me? To have me, Chisaki Kai, wanting to at least feel what your skin feels like? Feel how soft those lips are instead of just receiving a quick kiss on my mask..." you blinked, raising a eyebrow with a sad smile.

"I wish I could do this way sooner-" you stopped talking as soon as you heard laughter and voices of childs running and playing around.

"Brats..." chisaki sighed at the sign, a quadruple of two girls and two boys chasing them, the two young girls greeting both of you as the one of the boys screamed after them.

It all happened so fucking fast... the last boy tripped and it was about to fall with his head on a rock... it if it wasn't for your good reflexes the boy would had fall.

"Thank you miss!" The boy mumbled with a smile as you, with both hands on his arms helped him.

His and your eyes were so wide... you looked at him and his gaze was filled with horror.

Your hand started to fade, a bunch of (E/c) butterflies started to form and fly away instead of the hand that was suppose to be there.

He couldn't even fucking move as you looked at him... he expected everything but the huge smile and the sob of happines you let out before jumping on him and hugging him with tears in your eyes.

"Finally I can touch you..!" You sighed with a sob, not feeling your legs anymore.

"(Y/n)-!" He dropped the bullet on the ground and clenched onto your back as his eyes started to burn before you locked his lips so softly, your eyes closed as your image faded away and his eyes wide open...

The last thing he saw was your smile as your body was replaced with lifes and butterflies... his knees gave out when he could only tigger at the yukata he bought for you...

The whole festival was all happy and cheerfully until they heard the shouts of pain of a man inside the peacefull and full of butterflies forest.

A/n: eeyyy dont even need to coment the damn visible reference right? :D

[mithology-marveloholick]

Tobirama x reader part 2

Coffee shop au

Founders Trio: little bit of angst, fluff

Inspiered by song "Teeth" by 5 Seconds of Summer

Y/H/C - your hair color

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Madara what do you expect from me? Getting back togheter or what?" Y/N asked

"I don't know, maybe" man shouted "Dammit woman I miss you"

"Madara I can't do this. Not anymore, I'm done!"

"Why?! "

"You constanly push me away and then next morning come back and apologize. Once I'm a stranger to you and then the only one you care about?! Fight so dirty but your love so sweet. Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth. Late night devil  who constantly lie. Take off your hands of me and never never never ever touch me again"

"Y/N... Please give me one more chance" Madara begged 

"I can't. I can't Madara. Now please get out, clients can come here in any minute" girl looked at him with saddness "We're not good for eachother Madara. I'm sorry"

She watched as Uchiha was walking out. Her eyes were wet, throat swollen. She put hands on the counter, exhailing heavily.

"Gosh, how my legs are trembling" she laughed nervously

A bell ringed as new client walked in.

"Hello, welcome to Lofie Coffee Shop. What can I get for you?" Y/N said in shakey voice

"Are you okey?" Tobirama asked

"Yeah, I'm fine. You usual?"

"You don't look fine. What happend? Y/N you can tell me"

"I just had a fight with my ex-boyfriend. It was... hard and... and it made me feel nauseous"

"Do you want to get out somewhere? To take you mind off of it?"

"I would love to, but I have to close the shop first"

" I can help you with that, just tell me what to do" Tobirama offered his help

"Don't you have work to do in Hokage's office?" girk asked

"Hashirama made me take another day off" Tobirama said

"Okey, so first thing first I'll make you your coffee and then we can start closing the shop"

As she said that's what they have done. First Tobirama finished his coffee and then they started to clean the shop. Y/N took care of counter and machines and silverhaired cleaned tables.

"Thanks for helping me today" woman said as she locked the door "so where we goin'?"

"To one of my favourite spots in Konoha, I hope you don't mind long walks" Tobirama looked at her

"I don't, I actually like going on walks"

"Okey, let's go"

Their walk took an hour and was filled with small talks and Y/N's laughter.

"So where we going?" she asked

"We're already here" Tobirama anwserd

Y/N looked around, the place was beautiful. It was one of the training grounds, it has a dark forest on the left and open space on the right. In the middle was a lake with small waterfall. It was dark, the moon was rising and had it's reflection in the water.

Couple spended there hour or two, getting to know eachother more. Their favourite foods, colors, their history.

"No way. You just smiled" Y/N said and giggled " That's the first time I see you smile"

"Like I'm some kind of robot who doesn't have feelings" Tobirama said

"Well you sometimes look like it" girl giggled again

It felt so good for Y/N, she felt comfortable and safe around Tobirama.

"Thank you, for helping me in shop today and for taking me out"

"I'm glad I could help" Tobirama softly smiled if it was a smile. His left corner of mouth barerly moved up.

"It's getting really late, I think we should head back" man spoked "But this time I think we should take the rooftop route. It'll be faster"

"I'm not a shinobi and I'm not that fast" girl smiled nervously

"It's okey, I'll carry you. Just hold on thight"

Tobirama carried Y/N in bridal style with her arms wrapped around his neck. She squiled as he starter running, she has never experienced something like that. As Tobirama was jumping from rooftop to rooftop Y/N was admiring the village from completly different perspective. It was gorgeus. Konoha was soaked in soft moonlight. It made it look so peaceful and sleepy, like nothing bad ever happend. They reached her house, which was located above her coffee shop.

"Thank you again for today" Y/N thanked Tobirama

"I'm glad I could help" man said "Have a good night, rest well"

"Good night" Y/N turned and walked into her house. Tobirama took the rooftop route to his house thinking about beautiful woman that was Y/N. What he didn't realize that he was the subject of girls thoughts from the first time they met and he made her blush even harder when she was thinking about him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Couple days passed since Tobirama's and Y/N's "date". They both got more open towards eachother and even more attached. About two weeks passed when Tobirama decided to confess to girl. He picked up her favourite flowers in her favourite colour. He made himself a promise that his confession will be short and on topic without getting too flustered. It was bueatiful evening, sun was setting down, there wasn't many people outside. Perfect scenery for perdect confession. When he reached Y/N's coffee shop he saw Madara in there. Silverhaired man couldn't help but to overhear what was happening. He quicly hid himself behind corner of the nearest building.

"Madara I've told you millions times, I'm not getting back with you!" woman shouted. So the mystery of her ex is now solved, it's was the Uchiha man.

"Y/N please, I love you and I miss you! I've changed! For you!" Madara said

"You've changed?! I heard it thousands times! Every single time when we had a fight. And I'm soo fed up with that. I don't need your fake promises. Besides, I already love someone else" Y/H/C-haired woman said "And I care about him and I know he cares about me. He truly does"

Tobirama's heart skipped a beat when he heard his crush saying that. "She loves someone else? Who is it? Do I know him?" Tobirama thought panicked. He never felt that way, this whole situation was new to him. He didn't know how to act. He had to ask Mito for advice and now all that effort was suposed to be for nothing? Because she loved someone else?

"It's Tobirama isn't it? I've seen how much time you two spend togheter" Madara said with some sort sadness in his voice

"It is him. And please don't try to break us apart. I really care about him" Y/N said in brittle voice. Tobirama knew she was on a verge of crying.

"I won't, not that I aproove of your choice but fine I won't highjack your relationship. Goodbye Y/N" Madara said and walked away. Tobirama sensed that the man was furious.

When red eyed man walked in. Y/N didn't said anything. Didn't even looked at him. Her eyes were focused on a counter.

"I heard what happend here. Are you okey?" Tobirama asked

"So you've heard what I said about you and how I feel about you" Y/N said still not looking at her crush "Do you feel the same? Or I'm just being stupid, thinking that I have some small chance with you?"

"I actually came here to tell you how I feel. To confess my feelings towards you" Tobirama said in low and husky voice "I love you Y/N"

Girl looked at him with happines in her eyes.

"I... I love you too Tobirama but I guess you've already heard it" woman smiled.

"So do you wanna go out somewhere or we stay here?" Tobirama asked

"Stay here and have our official first date" she whispered and giggled

It was a perfect evening for both of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is part 2 of my fanfick, I hope you guys like it! If there are any suggestions how I can improve my writing, please leave a comment.

I tried to put a little bit of angst and I hope it worked out

[yennefer-stark]

The time was night, the date was wednesday and it was cold and dark because the winter is approached. The lamps in the street gave to the road a dim-lit light as well as the sidewalk. She walked directly to the bridge, and no, she doesnt wanted to commit suicide, she just wanted to be alone, sang out her sadness in the night.

"Everyone got their soulmate... Tony got Pepper, Thor has Jane, Clint already had a family and two kid, Natasha and Bruce are a couple... Hell even Steve with Bucky"

She thought that and started to sing:

Can you hear the silence?

Can you see the dark?

Can you fix the broken?

Can you feel my heart? 

Can you feel my heart?

Can you feel my heart?

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.

I long for that feeling to not feel at all.

The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.

I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.

Can you feel my heart?

Can you feel...?

Her beautyful voice slowly closed, a knot grew in her throat as she started to sob, then cry. She felt nothing but darkness and being alone, while she was the heart of her team. The fact and happy memories didnt helped. But remembered when Steve laughed in the joke, remembered when Tony gave her a compliment about her progress, the training in the gym with Nat, sometimes with Bucky or Steve, even the archery competition with Clint. Her brain closed out those memories and forced her to not let inside. On the other hand... a tall, slim figure watched her. He has got long black hair, a pair of mesmerizing emerald green eyes, sharp features wich was particularly attractive, pale skin and mysterious aura. He hid in the shadow, just like he did in his childhood. He understood her pain, what's more, he felt the same. Being lonlely and left behind. To be honest, the girl would gave everything for a hug and being in a comfy place... Between someone's arm.

-Yes. I can feel it. Why are you here in those times? It's dark, dangerous and you dont know how many serial killer around you. You should go home.

-I dont think that two killer would've such a good talk like us.

Said the girl without looking back. She wasnt scared, she was still sad. The man, however was suprised from the answer.

-In fact, I'd be happy if you'd kill me right here.

-Why would I? I mean I'm not going to kill you.

-Then why are you here? Why dont you leave me alone? You know what? You're right... I'm going home and put on my "nothing happened me, i'm perfectly fine" mask.

Then without a single word, she vanished from the bridge back to the Avengers Tower, where ofc everyone was happy. Well, almost. While our girl was in her room, deep in her thoughts, the black haired man stormed through rooms, used the elevator until he found his brother. He knocked on the door, with a bit of nervousness. Soon, a tall, muscular, bearded blonde man opened the door. His face immediately light up btw. He loved his not so little brother.

-Where you've been Loki?

-None of your business brother.

-Then why are you energised? You always nap and brood in silence. Something has changed I can tell.

-Whatever. How can someone make a sad person happy?

-Someone wants make you happy, or you are the one who doesnt want to commit a crime?

-This time, the second one brother.

Loki quckly arranged his face before Thor could've figured out what caused the change in him. He really hoped that the girl told the truth to him, but doesnt thought that she's inside the Tower like he or everyone.

-Well... Kind words helps most of the time.

-Geez, she wanted to die, by my hands. BY MY HANDS! Shes even more depressed than me brother.

-How she looked out?

-Well, she was at my chest height, or at least i think, she sat on the ground, and i'm not a cat, I cant see in the dark... Btw she had dark hair, maybe brown or black, waist lenght, straight. Her voice was.... Truly beautyful, even when it broke and started to cry.

-Hmm... Looks like you met with Valr. Oh brother, if you really want to know her better, it might be a big bite for you. She only talks when someone ask something from her, and I've never seen or heard her laughing. Most of the time she is in the library, gym or in her room when she isnt on a mission, out here with us. But to be honest, it could be anyone. I wish you good luck, if you really saw Valr... She's a worthy warrior.

-One more question before Ieave. Does she used to attend at dinner?

Thor nodded as an answer for the question, then closed the door after Loki, who teleported to the library. He found it empity tho. But at the other hand, Valr successfully picked herself up from the floor and walked to the common kitchen. She sighed in relief, she was alone, but not for a long time. As the time passed, the table was ready for the dinner. A whole set of plates, forks and knifes with table napkins. As the clock hit 7:30pm, the rest of the team slowly started to attend here and fill the room with energy and happines... The first, and most hungriest person was Bucky, then Steve, after them Natasha and Bruce. Thor followed them with Loki who seemed distant from the others. Clint arrived before the two god. As usual, Tony didnt showed up.

-Ah, Lady Valr, take a seat and eath with us.

-Thanks Thor, but I'm not hungry. I already ate and now I'm full.

-At least, stay with us and drink Val'.

-This cant cause any problem I guess.

The god of mischief immediately looked at Valr from the corner of his eye, when she lied to Thor without batting an eye. He already liked her, and planned to give her leftover food. Somehow he felt what the girl felt. The hardness of keeping the mask on... He greeted as an old friend. Sadness, even depression? Those kind of feelings too, but he played along with Valr. After they finished the dinner Steve stayed in the kitchen with Bucky to do the dishes and everyone went to their room. Except Loki, who kept an eye on her and sneaked up some food for her. He knocked on the door.

-Yes? It's open.

-Thank god it's open, I brought food for you Lady Valr.

-Why? I said I'm not hungry.

But Loki just smirked under his nonexistent mustache and placed the plate on the table. He found her reaction rather funny...

-Honey, you can not lie to the god of mischief.

-Great. Thanks for the food, you can go away and leave me alone. I dont need anyone in my life.

-Really? Then why are you scared to get close and hate being alone?

-I said, you can go away and leave me alone. Are you deaf or what?

-Slow down Lady Valr, there isnt such a reason to behave so mean, but as you wish. I leave you alone now, but I'll keep an eye on you.

-This is what I missed... I dont need baby sitting.

-Have a goodnight, Lady Valr.

If she could have a good night, she'd have a dream, but the next day's morning she went on a mission with Bucky. So she woke up at 5am, streched a bit, then had her regular morning routine before grabbed the suitcase and went to the kitchen, where Bucky waited for her. The smell of coffe enchanted a smile to her lips. The man with the metal hand greeted with a nod, and offered her a cup of coffe. Luckily he knew how Valr likes the caffeined black-ish liquid.

-I cant believe you are in this mission, I know how much do you hate Russia.

-Yes, but you cant dance with Nat, and noone else can speak fluent russian beside me. Do you have that magic tho?

-Poof. It will last while we're close to each other. Maybe one mile... I didnt need to use this spell until then.

-Wow. You amaze me every time Valr.

-Now let's go, I'm sure Tony already booked a flight to Moscow...

They boarded the plane and sat in silence after they talked through the plan. Bucky, who could never escape fully from the past, started to analyze Valr, but it was hard, even for him.

-З-здравствуйте...меня зовут...Valr...

-The hell did you just said?

Bucky never heard Valr talking in Russian so perfectly. She said those words without any accent, and he almost answered in the same language.

-Just one of thies things I can say in Russian.

-Well, it was perfect, but let me talk in Russian. Not because I love it, but 70 years experience from missions is still experience... Oh god, I already miss him...

-If you show feelings towards him, we might be caught. Steve still wanted for the underground, secret organizations in Russia. I know, you're gay for him and he's bi, but we need to play that we're a couple.

As the days passed by, Valr and Bucky grew closer to each other, talked about how they got captured/kidnapped and used to achieve bad goals. Not that fact they were so distant from each other, but they were the two person out of the Avengers... who were the quietest. As the day approached, they practiced a little dancing. You need know that the thing they search for, can be found in a Ball, wich held and organised secretly by Hydra. Extremely evil, right? But they had allies in the shadows and under the sun... When the day has arrived, you could cut the nervousness in the air with butterknife. Now, Valr understood why Bucky doesnt like to take a walk at daytime, unless he did it with Steve, his safe-place.

---------------------------------------

Untitled "little" story

Part one

I hope you liked it if you tripped over it...

@winterbuckytho @itsbuckyb1tch @i-smell-penniess

[buckyswinterchildren]

Future, Present, Past

Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N (I): ENDGAME SPOILERS!! (Not that many, but they´re important in the movie.) 

Summary: What does Bucky want? Does he want you in his future? Is there still a present for both of you? You are worried of his decision, but it´s time to face your fears with him.

Words: 1,6 k

A/N (II): I had the idea of this fic the day after I watched Endgame. (We all deserve fluffy stories after watching Endgame, don´t we?)

Pic Source: x

Opening the door of the apartment, Bucky sees you standing on the kitchen, looking at something in particular through the window as you hold a cup of tea with both hands. The apartment would be in complete silence if it weren't for the music coming from the radio. 

Bucky leaves the bags he's been carrying on the floor, by the counters, and walks towards you.

When he hugs you from behind and leans his chin on your shoulder, you jump in surprise and gasp, almost spilling the tea from the cup you are holding. 

"Sorry, didn't want to scare you."

Your heart is beating rapidly. "It's fine," you whisper as you chuckle at what just happened and leave the cup of tea on one of the counters. "I didn't hear you coming."

"You ok, doll?" Bucky asks you as he frowns his brows, making his forehead wrinkled.

You just nod and clear your throat, "I was just... thinking." You close your eyes and a tear starts streaming down your face. There is a knot in your throat and, even though you hate crying, you are aware the only way you can make this knot disappear is by letting tears run free.

And crying is how you've been since you realized you were alone, that Bucky was out there running errands.

To be honest, you've had this issue in mind for weeks; you have just 'tried' to put it at the back of your mind and cover it with your everyday tasks, your job, those asmr videos you like watching from time to time, your favorite albums being played again and again... Basically, you've been trying to avoid thinking about the subject, but one day you'll explode because that issue is still in there, bothering you.

And today is that day. Today, you finally explode. Today, you couldn´t avoid the issue because you were aware that all this time, it´s been hammering at your mental door trying to be noticed.

You cannot turn around and look at him because, obviously, Bucky's going to get worried when he sees your eyes are swollen.

But he knows you so well...

"What happened? Doll, look at me," Bucky says in a low voice as he tries to make eye-contact with you.

You bit your lip as you take a long breath. You know you have no other choice now than turning around because he knows you so well.

And that's what you do. Bucky takes a step backwards to leave some personal space for you.

"I hate when you have to see me like this," you whisper, more to yourself than to Bucky, as you turn around and look at the floor.

"What happened?" Bucky caresses your cheek, trying to find an answer just by looking at your face, at your expression.

You finally look up at him.

As you try to find the words to explain what is going wrong, you pay attention to the radio, which is playing a song you recognize: 'Losing My Religion' by R.E.M.

Why is it that when you find yourself in an uncomfortable or unpleasant moments when you have to give an answer, your mind pays attention to something else? Like the song that is being played on the radio, for instance.

Maybe the brain is making you forget for a second about what is actually going on... who knows?

You are afraid of asking the question, but you have no alternative. "Do you wanna leave?" you ask him as fast as possible, trying to get rid of the question rapidly. Once again, tears start falling from your face.

Bucky frowns his brows again. "I don't understand what you mean."

You take a deep breath trying to make this fucking annoying knot from your throat disappear. Although you are sure it's not gonna leave your body until you hear what Bucky wants. Until you accept what he really wants.

"Like Steve." Fuck, fuck, fuck. And now you cry because of the memory of Steve. Of the Steve you met and that does not exist anymore: the thirty-year-old man you met more than a decade ago, “America´s Ass,” as you all liked to call him. 

"Do you wanna," you turn your head to the couch where Sammy, your cat, is sleeping —unaware of what is happening right now, before you continue: "do you wanna go back just like Steve did?"

Your question takes Bucky by surprise, with his eyes wide open. "Why would I want that?"

"Why wouldn't you? You saw how Steve could finally live the life he always wanted. He belonged to that time, to those decades." You lean on the counter and hug yourself. "He had someone waiting for him..." You swallow. "Just like you."

Bucky cannot lie since it's such a comfort knowing that yes, in fact, there are people in the past who care about him. However, that people care for the Bucky of the past, the Bucky he once was. "Look, doll, I'm gonna be honest with you: I've thought about what Steve did, but they are just fleeting thoughts—"

A series of 'meow's' interrupt Bucky and both of you look at the floor where your cat is asking for food while he stretches. An interruption that breaks for a moment the tension that is currently in the air.

You both laugh at the insistence of your cat and it is Bucky the one who actually moves and takes the bag with the cat's food. "Come on, buddy," Bucky says as he pours the food into the little light blue dish of the cat.

Bucky leaves the bag of food on the counter and starts walking towards you as you follow with your eyes Sammy's fast steps towards his dish.

"Hey," Bucky raises his flesh hand and caresses your cheek. You close your eyes, concentrating on the touch as you take his hand with yours.

"I've been thinking about this for weeks, Buck." You open your eyes. "We finally discover that you can have a second chance. Your family is there, Steve is there. All you once had is there. All that completed you is there—"

"You are not," Bucky interrupts you.

"But does it matter? I'm not playing the victim here but if things would had really gone the way they should have, we wouldn't have met, we shouldn´t have met. We are not even from the same time."

"But they happened this way, doll. There are hundred of things we cannot explain. It took me a very long time to accept the person I am and the things I had to go through. I know that years ago I wouldn't have thought about it and I would have gone with Steve back to the forties. But I can't now."

Bucky raises his metal arm and tucks your hair behind your ear. "Besides, it wouldn't be the same. Even though I go back to my time, I would still have these memories. I am a complete different person from the young man I once was. And I have what he hasn't," Bucky makes a pause, making sure you are in fact listening to what he is saying. "I have you."

What is the freedom you are feeling right now? This state of well-being? The knot in your throat? It's disappearing. Your stomachache? Too.

"How long have we been together?"

You answer immediately after: "long enough to—"

"...be asked why we don't have any kids yet," Bucky completes the phrase. A phrase you've taken as yours in the last time. There is always someone out there asking you that annoying question. "Which means that it´s an eternity for me considering all I've lived, all I've gone through."

Bucky takes your hand and intertwines your fingers. "I have right here, in the present, in a time I am still accepting as my own what Steve went to look for in the past."

If you haven't been crying enough, those words will surely leave you dry.

And Bucky starts to cry too, just as you've seen him cry before. The last time you found him crying was because of Steve, both of happinness and of sadness since now, the young, athletic Steve is just a memory. "I have you here, doll. I'm not the same James from the last century, not even the same from five years ago. The person I am now needs and wants you by his side."

Without letting him continue, you lean forward and crash your lips on Bucky's. The salty taste of the tears from both of you dominates the kiss but you couldn't care less. You need to feel his lips after hearing his words. You need to feel him kissing you with the sweetness he always does.

Just when you need to breath, you break the kiss and lean your forehead on his.

"If I ever go back, you'll be the first to know, because I'll want you there with me, doll. Don´t be afraid, please. I could never leave you." 

You breath deeply, feeling how the air fills your lungs and you breath out any and all worry you´ve had for weeks. "I´d love to meet your family, you know?"

"And I´d love to create a parallel universe with you."

You laugh at what Bucky just said. "If that ain´t the most romantic thing I´d ever been told, I don´t know what that is.” 

As you lean your head on his shoulder and he caresses your back with one of his hands and your hair with the other, you make sure to keep in mind as long as you can what he told you: that he could never leave you, that all he needs is right here, in the present. 

A/N III: Honestly? I have an idea for the second part (I never considered making a second part until I finished writing this one.) So, if you wanna be tagged, send me an ask!

[ralfstrashcan]

3x22 Reaction / Commentary

Fair warning: Despite all feelings of nostalgia and melancholy with this being the last episode and all, this contains the usual amount of salt. Just, consider yourself warned XD

Impressive. Quick question though, why didn't Lilith pull this neat trick before going to Magnus and begging for an opening in the rift? We'll never know. Possibly because she's dumb.

Why would he give away his element of surprise with that stupid roar? Wtf man.

Istg if they kill Meliorn off just after I fell in love with him last episode imma riot so hard. Wtf.

1) Jeliorn Shipper: It's not actually clear who he's addressing XD 2) Am I the only one who feels like Meliorn's feelings for Izzy skyrocketed after they broke off their little mutually beneficial arrangement?? Because I sure do. Very convenient for the plot too.

This is both hilarious and infuriating XD

Boo Team Warlock. They can see that Meliorn is lying on the ground, obviously wounded, and all they do is stand around. Why do they all suck at first aid?? I mean, man down! What more do you need to know wtf.

Also what is that? Lorenzo actually being helpful? Wtf haha. Btw I made up my mind, he's lost bits of his character along the way. I don't like it. He's suddenly supposed to be a good lizard baby? Sure. *scoff*

I like that bit where Lorenzo and Magnus pool magic for a more effective attack but I'm doubtful they're perfectly synchronized since they never fought together. Or is this like a standard warlock fight maneuver? Are those a thing? I need answers.

Lilith shooting her fancy fire spit ball five meters to the left is both an overused cliché and ridiculous.

THIS is their plan of attack? They're all gonna die haha.

Script: Close up of female shoes with heels so everyone knows this is a woman.

RIDICULOUS

So did I understand that correctly? Lilith flew right into the line of literal fire? Whyyyy?

RIDICULOUS PLASTIC EYE IS RIDICULOUS

Wtf why isn't Lorenzo loudly objecting??

That circle reminds me of Guardians of the Galaxy in the worst way. Wow. I can't believe I just watched this. Wtf this was so bad *weeping* Btw note, considerate CGI flames only burn on torso and arms not on legs. Riiiight.

...................................................................what.

I mean, yay. All shadowhunters are jobless now. Guess all problems are solved. We just have an entire (slightly racist) race on our hands that's out of an occupation and also, militry. Those things don't mix well. Wtf. I cannot. comprehend. Wtf.

Also wtf. This was supposed to be the boss fight. And they finished it without a plan with one player literally before the opening?? UHHHH???

But, anyway. I guess I should be glad Alec didn't have to make good on his promise of living in Edom with Magnus, because as @intezaarlily so hilariously pointed out

The Alliance rune was temporary and wore off in like 5 hours, and Nephilim can’t survive in Edom because of their blood once the rune wears off, but Alec says he’ll spend the rest of his life with Magnus in Edom … I mean, I love the romantic sentiment! But that will be a very short life.

XD XD XD

Uhhhh yeah, the fact that Sizzy get a sex scene (ugh, could have done without that honestly) Clace get cute cuddling and Malec get................ lying five feet apart even though THEY ARE LEGIT A MARRIED COUPLE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Honestly, I mostly skirt the negativity that surrounds the issue of how Malec always get shitty kisses and intimacy etc. But this is ridiculous. RI-DIC-U-LOUS. At this point, who knows if they'll even kiss at their wedding? We'll be lucky if they hold hands. Honestly. WTF.

Yeah agree to disagree. I'm not even sorry for my extra salt. Wtf. Still hung up on Malec. At least Izzy's runes glitter prettily in the morning light.

“I mean like relationships. Everyone that I've been in has magnificently imploded like the Death Star.”

SIGH. This is clearly not true. He stayed good friends with his exes (Clary, Maia) so that's a lie. And Saia was working out really well until the series needed it to stop, so it's not like he's inept. So either he's exaggerating because he's hella unreflected or he says that to get some pity from Izzy, either way I hate it.

Uuhhhh Izzy, you were never interested in having a relationship. That's not the same as screwing up a relationship wtf.

...............Does the show want to tell me Magnus is left-handed or what. Wow.

I

hadn't

noticed.

I guess Canon wants to use this last opportunity to tell us that Magnus is ambidextrous *shrug*

Also why the hell did Lorenzo give them back the loft? Oh right, he's a Good Lizard Baby now. The heck.

Anyway I did a very thorough reaction to this sneak peek scene already for a private correspondence, so enjoy ahaha ;)

- Me being deprived of Malec Morning Cuddles (and LittleSpoon!Alec) is unfair and I'm Not Over It.

+ Magnus excitedly writing their wedding invitation though <3<3<3

- Cheek kiss wtf man where are my REAL morning smooches WTF

+ CHEEK KISS SO CUTE OMG MAGNUS'S FACCEEEEEEEE I CANNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

+ MAGNUS'S FRAKKING FACE WHEN HE GIVES ALEC THE INVITATION SCRIPT THINGY, RAISED EYE BROW AND THAT LIP THING HE DOES, LIKE IN THE TRAINING SCENE HAHAHAHA I LOVE

+ MAGNUS'S FACE AS ALEC READS THE INVITATION OUTTTT

+ A L E C S  FACE AT “TONIGHT” LIKE OMG HE LOOKS LIKE HE JUST HAD A LOBOTOMY HAHAHAHAHA I CANNOT

~ Okay I am conflicted about this. While I can buy both, Magnus wanting to move ahead and Alec wanting to plan (because I think it fits them both in terms of being in character) in this particular matter I kinda headcanon the reverse: Alec not able to wait another minute to Lock Magnus Down and Magnus wanting everything to be absolutely perfect and losing himself in planning.

That being said, Magus being like “Gotta get married while we still can and there's not a disaster on the horizon” is.... idk, isn't that kind of sad? He's all about cherishing things in life so you can remember them. And stumbling through his MARRIAGE, with must mean a real real lot to him, being his first in all his 400/800 years, that's... not really uplifting? He deserves better than that.

+ Magnus's clap tho at “location” XD XD XD

+ ALEC'S FACE AT TAJ MAHAL HAHAHA HIS FROWNY MOUTH

~ Quick question, how the hell does Magnus want to hold a whole ass marriage ceremony at a public mundane place?? With glamor? Without? Sounds like an unrealistic mess either way

+ “THE INSTITUTE” I CAN'T MAGNUS AND ALEC KILL IT BOTH WITH THIS WTF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CANT

- Alec's reasoning. Honestly, I don't like it that much. Don't get me wrong, Alec being aware of the political dimension and liking it is 100% ic. But. This is their wedding. Their. Wedding. They do everything else for others, for their people and for the mundanes and the frikking world as a whole (3x20 being a prime example, basically screwing their personal happines to hell and back (pun intended) to close the rift saved the world because those wraiths wouldn't have stopped after Alicante let's be real). And their wedding, this should be just for them. How they like it, how they envision and how they've always dreamed about it. It shouldn't be held so others can benefit from it.

I want the wedding to be at the Instutite. In my mind no other venue even comes into question. But I would have loved if the motivation was differently nuanced. If Alec would have said that he's imagined it there, because yeah, Magnus's loft is his home and his heart, but the Institute must hold sentimental value for him, too. He grew up there. It's basically all he's known his whole life up to like three months ago. It's the embodiment of him being a shadowhunter and he loves being a shadowhunter, it's his identity. And Alec is a traditional guy. He wants his classical shadowhunter wedding and those are held at an Institute. He must have envisioned this after he started dating Magnus: exchanging vows in a ceremony held by a silent brother and with their wedding jewelry, in the chapel of the Institute, simply because this is the only marriage proceedure he's ever known.

Pissing off the clave, or rather, having the clave begrudingly accept him with his true self presented to the world should be a welcome byproduct, but not the main motivation.

From Magnus I would buy this line of reasoning sooner than from Alec because Magnus has hated the clave and its injustice since forever, has suffered far harsher under them than Alec, so he has a lot more personal interest to stick it to the clave than Alec, who, sorry, literally discovered their falseness three months ago. But then again, I don't think thoughts like that would be on the forefront of Magnus's mind and so it makes sense Alec would be the one to bring up this aspect. I just don't like how it was nuanced.

In any case, rewatching that scene I'm amazed at the amount of time Alec flounders before catching Magnus's attention, it's hilarious to watch XD

+ MAGNUS'S CONSIDERING POUT THOUGH WTF MAN WHO ALLOWED THIS

Another missing scene waiting to be written, of Magnus wearing a tux around Alec (and Alec drooling over him lol).

“It's just... all these hundreds of years... I can't believe you've never been married.”

Yeah, dito. How about you expand a little more on your personal stance on marriage, Magnus?? It's for science.

NOT ANYMORE APPARENTLY WTF CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE PLEASE

1) Wow this was quick 2) Uh-huh, guess that's why they mentioned them before this episode, oh, never.

1) Then ralf would quit watching this show and who would make dumb comics then? 2) Lol I guess her poor ex warlock boy toy got dumped

HAHAHAHA THE WAY HE DELIVERS THAT LINE I CAN'T XD XD XD

TMI bro

Good. At least he's not completely delusional then.

Gal you said “focus” like once, that's not a lesson wtf.

Yeah, creepy creepy feelings.

But this is actually interesting since she can't lie, and she says in no uncertain terms that she wants to split her power with him, or at least the rule over earth. Buf if she's so afraid of him she even wants to rule beside him and relinquish part of her might, then I don't get why she didn't just kill him off when he was in his cocoon. Why risk making an enemy of him? Makes no sense. (Except that this would have been anticlimactic lol.) Also my question of what happened to Lucifer still stands.

Uhhhh apparently they just slept together, turning into a child is majorly creepy wtf dude. Also, where does her changed wardrobe come from? Absorbing clothes during a transformation is a skill werewolves would pay real money for, I can tell you. Market niche. Patent while you still can.

..................really? *sigh*

#vulnerability #abandonment issues #give jace wayland (or whatever you want to call him) a hug dammit

Finally, happy parabatai. What a sight for sore eyes.

Biting back more Sizzy salt, wow I'm impressed at myself.

HOW ABOUT YOU BOTH FRAKKING SAY THAT ABOUT MAGNUS WTF

(Btw the German Dubbing: “I was just thinking of asking you that!” lol as if the thought had crossed Izzy's mind in that exact second, making that whole thing even more ridiculous.)

Anyway.

“You know, I always thought I never needed a parabatai, that I was at my best when I was on my own.”

No that was because you disliked the weird codependency it produces. And it's fine if you change your mind on that and decide that the benefits outweight that, but please don't do it offscreen during an action screen but like, throughout a whole season? Consider sharing a thought or two about that fundamental change in your world view with the audience? Otherwise people (me) can just laugh their ass of at how ridiculous and ooc this is. Wtf. WtF. Then again she literally changed her stance on relationships in like a week and her stance on Simon in half a day, so I guess it's kind of consistent?? *snort*

There's a joke about missing hair in here somewhere. These poor, poor men. They were ROBBED. (And so were we XD)

Since when can Clary order around the Head of Security?? (Also look at her manic face in this shot ahahaha. Was that deliberate on my part?? You can't prove a thing!!)

Also Luke missing Alec's wedding again is history repeating itself.

IMMORTALITY RUNE ON THE RUN!! EVERYBODY DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND CATCH IT!!!

Clary, gal, if you keep slinking after the rune like that you'll never catch it. Srsly. And you wonder why you lose track of it all the time? Move your butt, man!!!

WOW GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT EVER. Can I skip this scene? Please?

Wow that was less painful than expected

Oh damn I knew this was too easy.

Btw apparently they have styling opportunities wherever Jocelyn's soul went after her death, because the clothes she wore when she went west

and the ones she's wearing now are similar, but decidedly not the same.

“Btw we'll talk about that creepy ass behavior later, and no supper for you tonight young lady!!”

Uh-huh, and what, pray tell, is Jocelyn? A zombie?? Just wondering.

These so-called “angels” are racists and you can quote me on that.

HAHAHA YEAH EXACTLY, SO RIDICULOUS AMIRIGHT

I mean. “Never draw another new rune or we'll take away your ability to create runes” basically translates to me “You have one last shot.” Right?

(Premonition!Ralf: ..........................you know nothing, Past Ralf.)

HAHAHAH SO FRAKKIN EXTRA I LOVE HIM

I think the white one is the prettiest <3<3<3 And now I wanna eat cake. Dammit.

LISTEN I KNOW HE SAYS THAT TO BE SASSY BUT!!!!! WHAT WAS MAGNUS GONNA EAT FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY???? ROASTED SHAX DEMON DRUMSTICKS??????? I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!

This “beauty” clearly is from his mansion, so he obviously only says this to gloat. What a tool. Or is this like, a different size? And he has the same three pictures of himself plastered over all his homes, but in different sizes??

LOL this feels like splitting household goods with an ex. And they didn't even date (uagh the mental image *shudder*)

Mostly for each other, but continue.

Also, is this Lorenzo's formal request to be adopted into that weird ass Protagonist!Family? Because loooool the position of sassy shady uncle is still vacant. I'm sure Peter Hale will teach him some tricks.

Don't get me wrong, I like the scene itself but...... what happend to the evil lizard baby? It seems that just like Maryse he got a character makeover between one scene and the next. This change of heart comes out of frakkin nowhere. He goes from “good riddance magnus i hate your guts” to “pls love me” in literally half a day. And I don't like that. Wtf.

Also, another thing: Why do they always imply warlocks are completely unable to find a lasting relationship / family / even some level of happiness that isn't “sitting in my plush villa and drinking overpriced alcohol”? As if all warlocks are inapt. Tf.

I mean, he's been showing that through absence, but I guess that's more because of the same reasons that persistently keep Catarina from showing her face than him actually not caring about his kids, there's no real grounds for this level of desinterest in Show!Robert's character. But anyway, I like the sentiment, that conflicts between the parents don't necessarily inevitably destroy the relationships between one parent and the children. And Maryse was always good at compartmentalizing things, so this is very fitting.

Wow I had really hoped I wouldn't have to see this particular face again. Guess we can't always get what we want *sigh* also what's the shit with those glasses? *snort*

Also, I mean, I'm by no means an expert, but even I know that you don't actually store a bow with the string attached? You unclip it so it doesn't wear out? But whatever, what do I know about angelic weaponry, right.

Wtf he was cleared for missions seasons ago. Did they forget? Apparently? Ugh but I don't care so, moving on.

“You'll be save on this balcony.”

*SIGH* Honestly I'm wondering what they even learn at their dumb Shadowhunter Academy. Since common sense, first aid, and make sure your frikkin enemy is dead by slitting their throat and !never! turn your back on them are obviously not on the curriculum. SMH.

Ngl though, good riddance on the Max front XD

Guess I cheered too early. You had one job, Jonathan. One. Job.

HAHAHAHA HONESTLY HAHAHA THE GUY NEXT TO HER FALLS AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN TWITCH, JUST KEEPS RECORDING LOOOL

Btw all the people running away, they're screaming their heads off but they're not really like, running? They're barely even jogging lol it's so funny XD

Let me just....

Yes. This.

Also that whole “I've never been to Toronto” totally clashes with Izzy asking Clary literally three minutes earlier if she can open her a portal to Los Angeles. I mean, they don't even try and pretend that their portal travel is consistent anymore. Sigh.

I mean. He. Hehehe.

Amazing that Magnus has been in this exact street in his exact spot. Luck-y.

Same, Jonathan. Same.

Wow she's smart trying the spite approach to get Jonathan to want to prove her wrong.

.....or not. Wtf Clary. You had him. Even after all this, you could have salvaged this. But there's just No Happy Ending for Jonathan. It's so unfair. Rest in peace, my poor misunderstood murderous incest baby.

Also

Wing Rune? Death via Crushing Wing Hug??

Btw if the runes are gifts from the angels and they don't approve of her use then why do they keep sending them to her?? Just, don't? Problem solved? No need for a Jocelyn!Scolding?

Edit: As a smart person pointed out to me Clary's ability to create runes isn't a direct gift from the angels that they gave her specifically, it's a result of Valentine's neat experiments. But then I wonder a) why the angels even allowed those blasphemous experiments in the first place (since apparently they can long-distance-derune people no problem, then I guess they could have stopped Valentine too?) and b) if they have the power to long-distance-derune people and they have the power to form some sort of resistance against Clary inventing runes..... how does that add up? Why the heck can't they forge a resistance strong enough against Clary's attempts to create a specific rune? It makes no sense. You can't be ridiculously powerful in one rune-aspect and ridiculously weak in one other rune-aspect. Either the angel has power over the runes (since they were a gift from him) or he doesn't. But this is rubbish. Or, y'know, plot convenience. Ugh.

Buhuu, they didn't use the stupid ass angelic rune ever so whatever. Until Raziel doesn't come down and exchanges her spinal marrow I'm writing this off as Consequenceless Dramatics.

Malec Wedding Ceremony. Phew. Originally I thought I'd keep this short but I changed my mind. Since this is my last reaction post I might as well go all out (with the salt, among other things), so. Here we go.

Music choice and the general everything-is-muffled-under-the-song was absolutely wonderful. I really love that song and it's very Malec-y.

UGH

AWWW WOULD YOU LOOK WHO DEIGNED TO SHOW UP

The suit suits him (ahahahaha I'm so sorry) but I'm kinda bummed he's not wearing Shadowhunter Gold?! I mean?!

Whoever that is, she has kickass hair and I love it, and I kept looking for her in the background the whole time. To some success I might add.

Yeah please show me Lorenzo's face instead of, idk, Jace's wtf haha. Also who invited Meliorn.

Is it even a real wedding ceremony when the groom is already wearing his ring??

U G H

Cat should have been the one to give Magnus away. Maryse could have given Alec away if she must (honestly, it should have been Jace, not Robert or Maryse, but whatever). But Maryse giving Magnus away? The Fuck? She HATED him two months ago. She literally gave up on him after he SAVED ALL THEIR ASSES AND WAS STUCK IN EDOM after like half a day. Also I kind hate her ridiculous redemption. But sure, have Cat, his best friend for centuries, stand on the sidelines and only show her face for a second. Frikkin Madzie had more screen time than Cat wtf. I hate that Shadowhunters infiltrate every aspect of Magnus's life and force his Downworlder friends out of it. That's the real oppression wtf. I'm so angry at this. The frikkin audacity.

Awww, the other half second of Cat's screen time. Let me fawn over it. I love her dress, especially the arms, the necklace is a bit much but she rocks it anyway, I love her hairdo and her smile is the sweetest.

*cough*

Ngl I laughed my ass off at this. Because, y'know, communication. Is totally their thing, isn't it. They're so good at it. This is sarcastic in case you can't tell.

I really really loved this line though.

HAHAHA I LOST IT. I mean, I found their interlaced speaking ridiculous already, but this?? PFFFF HAHAHA. No. Just, no. But I guess the one good thing I can take away from this is that since they both say their “always” together it is in fact the same “always” so thanks for more Immortal Alec Foreshadowing.

Whoa those are a lot of candles. I approve. Lexa does, too.

Magnus throwing confetti is too cute for this world.

And then they just.... leave? Am I the only one finding that weird???? This was so short? Where are they going?? lol????

Okay, apparently Clary's runes are all gonna disappear. Uh. Okay. I don't see where this makes sense, but anyway. Her acting in these last moments was absolutely awesome.

I really love that Magnus and Raphael got the scene together that they deserved. I just enjoy that Downworlder Dad Magnus and Grumpy Son Raphael aren't treated as a Plot Devices and only interact when some Stupid Plotline requires it, but outside of it too. It's so refreshing.

Ralf: “Oh God please spare me.”

........not my lucky day apparently.

Hahahaha love ya.

DAMN RIGHT

Jace and Maryse dancing in the background tho. Cute.

BTW wtf, I didn't undestand Annoying!Ghost!Jocelyn in the way that Clary was gonna die. Just, she wouldn't have her fancy rune powers anymore. And okay, apparently she won't have any rune powers but... uh, death? That's a whole different dimension we're talking here. And why tf can't anyone be precise on this show for once wtf!

1) Helen is valid and for probably the first time in her life said something smart. 2) They started dating 3 days ago, wtf gals, I mean I heard of the u-haul cliché but honestly wtf. lol.

Ralf: *hits pause* NO. Kay, in the same room as Ralf, fully aware that the latter is watching the last half of 3x22 with the Malec Wedding (with headphones, I'm considerate and don't want to spoiler my sister): What is it? Are they adopting a child? Ralf: No, WORSE. Kay: Are they pregnant?? Ralf: NOOOOOOO Kay: Tell me. Ralf: ........no. I want to see the look on your face when you see this.

You had one job dude. One job. And you failed.

Ralf: I'm going to be sick.

Honestly. WTF. Sorry, but Lorenzo is probably the un-gayest character on this show. Wtf. No. I refuse. I also refuse to believe that anyone looks at Lorenzo's self-important pompous ass and thinks hnnnngh relationship material. Or worse, one-night stand material. No! No! Punching bag material! Sleek antagonist material! That's all he is dammit!!

I REALLY AM GOING TO BE SICK WTF. UGH NO. NOOO WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE (aka screen writers) WHO THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. And also, can I give the biggest anti-compliment to the Max actor for the absolutely shitty delivery of this line? It's as if he's as dead inside as I am, because he says this as if he honestly couldn't give a single shit about Magnus and just ??????????????? wtf

Yeah, that one time she glanced at him in the Ops Center really gave it away. What the actual ffkk. Alec was preoccupied with other things then, wtf, he wouldn't even notice that on a good day. Sorry, show, but less is more sometimes. Not everyone needs a frikkin significant other and this is just ridiculous. What's next, Max and Madzie? UGH.

Lol this would be less ridic if apart from 1x05 this wasn't their first interaction.

NO NO NO NO!!!!!! I hate that I can't stop scanning the background for them! It's like the countdown on a bomb, you can't look away even though you know you should just turn and run. WTF. NO.

bitch what's alec been doing his whole life huh huh huh????

“Every single cell in my body loves you. And when those cells die and new ones are born those cells love you even more. So Jace, no matter what happens, my love for you will never die.”

Ridiculous Shadowhunter Biology Knowledge striking but I'll let it slide because that was really sweet.

Also ahahaha shouldn't that rune be gone already???

Shadowhunter #1 in the Background: *biting back a sob* I'm so crushed I wasn't invited to Malec's wedding and saddled with active duty instead. Shadowhunter #2 in the Background: *wiping away tears* Yeah, me too.... What did we ever do to deserve this </////////3

Again, how did she understand that from the weird AF scolding??? TF.

Uh, yeah, blatant contradiction, whatever. Btw since I know how that goes in the books (for Simon) I'm really wondering if they're gonna pull the same thing for Clary now. (Ugh.)

Also, following both a hint and innate curiosity I paused on the letter that Clary supposedly actually wrote AND WTF HAHAHAHA. I CAN'T.

Dear Jace, forgive me for leaving all of a sudden. I came to the realization that it's time for me to move on. I don't know what is motivating me to take this action but I must act on my feelings. From the first day we met we had a connection from ??? my introduction to the Shadow Hunters World. Alec, Simon, Izzy, the institute and all of the Shadow Hunters opened up skills and experiences that I could never imagine I had. You and I spent many years together and have experienced many adventures together which I will never forget. Many times over they have put our lives at risk but we have always managed to survive in the end. You have saved my life on many occasions (screen end, but I guess sth like “you have looked”) after me and taken care of me (same, “which I'll never”) forget. Your love for me I will always (“treasure”?) May our Shadows meet again, Love Clary

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HAHAHAHAHA WTF

........................I paused here and I was this tempted to just, stop watching. Honestly, Shadowhunters, what have you done to me. Making me honestly consider to ditch the last ten minutes of a show that I dearly, dearly love. Wtf. I just, I can't. Wow.

Where's the beard, Luke. It's been “a year” so uh you've had time to grow it back.

1) Magnus “left handed” Bane again writing with his right hand. Mysterious. 2) Honestly I kinda spaced out on this scene after this shot because those blue smears? I was so SURE those would be fingerpaint clumsily smeared on Magnus by Malec's Baby of Horrors. I was so focused on there being any hints of them having adopted a baby already, dreaded anguish kinda making it impossible to taking in anything else. The only thing I really noticed is that they moved with their whole ass loft and I love that.

Honestly, this and the “High Warlock of Alicante” are the only two acceptable things about this whole terrible fever haze dream I have entered. Not that “High Warlock of Alicante” makes any sense. It just has a nice ring to it, that's all. I really can't put into words how ridiculous and, yeah, almost offensive I find it that they actually pretend that blatant racism can be wiped out of the minds of people in the matter of a single year. Sure. The whole Clave changed their racist beliefs and Alec skipped from being a mere Head of an Insitute over being a Clave Envoy to being an Inquisitor (which doesn't even make sense, since an Inquisitor seems to be going from Institute to Insitute and acting as a judge for Shadowhunters on trial, not negotiating how the Clave treats Downworlders). And which warlocks exactly does Magnus represent in Alicante? It makes no sense for the Clave to allow Downworlders to just, randomly live there? And that's got nothing to do with discrimination, that's just logic if you run a military organization: You don't allow civilians to mingle. They don't belong in the Ops Center of an organization they have no part in? I'm all for Downworlders being allowed to participate in legislative etc. but living in Alicante (as more than the significant other of a Shadowhunter) makes no sense. And sorry, I don't believe that in one year there formed SO MANY Shadowhunter/Warlock relationships that SO MANY warlocks moved to Alicante that they need a HIGH WARLOCK for representation. There's SO MUCH wrong with all of this that I have no choice but to move on.

Hmmmm it only took Maia one (1) year to realize that carefully painting over blood splatters with yellow (and not even removing pictures while doing so) isn't in fact enough to cover them up and she needs to get a completely new paintjob, prefereably in a dark color.

Okay that made me laugh at least.

*rolls eyes so hard* And again with the pointless coupling up of characters. Are singles even a thing in this world? Apparently not. *SIGH*

“The Drevak Demons in Long Island?” “The hunt continues.” “Don't stop until they're gone. Is that clear?”

As much as I love Izzy, I'm not sure this dialogue really assures me of her competence as Head? I mean? “The demons are not dead yet? Kill them until they are, understood? And don’t argue with me on that, I’m super serious!!” It's not as if this isn't literally all that Shadowhunters do all day. I just don't see Izzy working a desk job. She's meant to be out in the field, slaying demons and cracking jokes and her whip while doing that. Sorry, but that's just how it is.

I could even tolerate that Sizzy scene because I was sooooo relieved Underhill didn't mention having a significant other or anything of the sort. Dodged a frakkin bullet there.

Edit: Nope, no, I can't. It's been two weeks and I have regained enough of my strength to be salty about Sizzy. But let me keep it to a minimum because time. 1) Simon not wanting to kiss Izzy in the hall is ridiculous, as if it hasn't been common knowledge since before that whole Downworlder Deputy Stuff started that they are a thing. So obviously this was just to pepper in the fact that he is in fact one of the Downworlder Deputies, whatever that should mean.

2) Nice to know that Simon continues to exploit his girlfriend's authority. Some things never change I guess, first with Saia and now with Sizzy. 3) I just find it ridiculous that while Simon wasn't able to keep a relationship running for more than two weeks before, suddenly this one works out a whole year without a hitch. Oh right, this was The Endgame Pairing, the other's weren't. *sigh*

<3<3<3<3<3 The Jimon Friendship we deserve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT TO SEE, NOT WHATEVER THAT OTHER NIGHTMARISH STUFF WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh-huh, and what was Simon doing, exactly? Oh right.

Anyway.

I mean, as much as I love this dynamic and the fact that Jace managed to form a friendship with Simon who he kinda hated / pitied before, and as much as I love this scene itself..... the implications for Jalec are terrible. Jace is obviously not coping. At All. He's one wrong word from having tears running from his eyes in any given situation. And Alec just, effs off to Alicante to sip martinis with Magnus? Thank you for nothing, Alec. Wtf. I'd like some details on when exactly he decided to leave his parabatai alone in New York with all his heartbreak.

A toned down version of events would have been better. Alec still being Head of the Insitute, fighting tooth and nail against the Clave to implement Downworlder Involvement on more levels. Magnus being the High Warlock of Brookyln (because obviously Lorenzo got sacked for misconduct, come on). Simon and Jace growing closer over the shared devastating loss of Clary. Izzy slaying demons like a Queen. Underhill being single.

We could have had it all.

“You know, I pray every day, every day to the angels that they will see that our love is stronger than their spite.”

Lol Jace I'm not sure that's the way to phrase a prayer you want heard.

Okay, I'm gonna need several explanations here, ranked by importance:

1) WHY THAT HAIRCUT WTF

2) How exactly did Clary go from “complete memory loss, homeless, no money, no family, no friends, no nothing, literally just the clothes on her back” to “well-adjusted human being attending school, being super successful with her art, having an appartment and an astounding lack of depression” in a year?

????? ???????? ???????????????

???????

3) I really don't know a lot about either fashion or art, but both differ greatly from what we've seen from Clary so far. Neither her clothes match what she used to wear, nor her art style. She never drew abstract things. It was always portraits of people, or very detailed and realistic looking buildings / demons / sigils. So this doesn't really make sense either. I don't think they intended this to be the opening of a profound philosophical discussion on how much of your personality is laid down in your DNA and how much is just environment and experiences shaping you, so I really REALLY wonder why the f they did that, instead of having Clary draw Shadow World related stuff like before, when Magnus had her memories locked away.

Love the throwback. Also love Jace's reaction of running away, it's so relatable in this situation of utter emotional overload.

Okay, the end. I'm trying my best to end this on a slightly positive note okay, because otherwise I'll just make myself sad. First off, I HATE open endings with a passion, so this left me enraged. Second off, I can't believe the Clace Shippers were left with this as the last scene of their OTP. I kind of get it from a meta stance, they wanted there to be a point of contact for a possible pick-up, but still. They didn't even kiss. They didn't even have clarity what exactly Clary remembers. I hate it! Third off, how ridiculous is it that after a year Clary randomly remembers? Uhh? Why does the angel's punishment suddenly not work anymore? “Because love conquers all” etc. Uh-huh. Then why did it take a frakkin year? Huh, Jace?! If this had been the first time Clary and Jace see each other again, fine, I would have bought it. But “random” is such an unsatisfying explanation. Just, don't. So if you'll excuse me, I'll happily pretend none of this happened. Or it happened one month later, not a year wtf. Or I'll just follow through on my rewrite and rectify all the things I didn't like about these last two episodes.

And now that all the rage is out of the way, the good things. I loved both of Clary and Jace's acting in this scene (which lolllll I specifically point out because mostly in their couple scenes one of them fails XD). The careful way Clary touches Jace's rune and the way he almost flinches back, too raw for it, but also his vulnerable helpless smile, and how Clary smiles back. I also really liked the song. And the final shot, of the camera pulling away and into the nightsky, that was nice. It felt like an ending, so at least that gave me some closure.

I love this show. Even with all its infuriating plot holes and ooc-ness. It means a lot to me. It has inspired me to write fic like no other fandom. I plan to stick around for a long time to come, with both fics and tumblr posts. I'll rewatch episodes, obsess over details and grumble about shit I disliked because that's just what I do. It's how I show my appreciation. I guess what I'm trying to say is

Thank you

[raph8sblog]

🤍Dreaming of You🤍 Part V.

You didn’t remember how you managed to find home after that night, but one thing surely stucked in your mind. You thought, you maybe just imagined the whole situation, he truly disliked you why would he ask you to be his fake girlfriend just to make up for the sasaeng attack and help you get close to Felix again? You honestly didn’t believe it that this whole fake dating is a good idea. It’s useless at this point. Still, you couldn’t get out of your head. Maybe, he is right and you should give it a try? 

Hyunjin is so handsome and popular, that there is no one on this planet who wouldn’t want him to be her boyfriend. Felix never seen you with another boy before, also you guys never talked about your love life because every part of your life revolved around him. There is a chance that you can make him jealous with that? If there is really a slim chance, you have to try it just for your pride. But isn’t it better just let it go after all these suffering? 

Your phone’s ringtone brought you back into reality:

- Halo? - you asked, still sleepy. 

- Y/N, where are you? - all the tiredness eventually gone, when you heard Hyunjin’s voice from the other side: 

- Why is it important for you? - he just sighed at your incomprehension. 

- Do I have to explain it again?! Tonight, you should come over to the dorm! I want to introduce my new girlfriend. 

- Listen Hyunjin, I don’t think that I’m able to do this. Yesterday, maybe I drank a little bit more than I had to. That’s why I agreed on it, but now that I’m sober I see things differently. 

- Nope, there is no coming back! Y/N.... I was so generous that I offered you this once for a life time chance and now you say that you can’t do it? You have to realize what a kind person I am! - “Kind, my butt, you annoying prick!” - you thought to yourself and tried not to say out loudly: 

- You have to ask someone else! Just let me die in peace from sadness, okay? 

- Nah, you come over tonight and wear something fancy, like yesterday, also do something with your hair! It looks gross! - you almost chocked on your own saliva, this boy seriously, you just want to slap him: 

- Wa... Wait...

- Okay, then let’s meet at 6 infront of the building! Bye-bye honey! - he said with a cheerful tone and then, hanged up the phone. You wanted to scream from your building nervousness. There is no way, that anyone can believe this absurdness! You are not even at the same level with Hyunjin, how can you make a glow up till your encounter? You have five hours to do something with yourself and look a little bit more pretty than your usualself. 

This might won’t be a bad idea, you hoped Felix will see you in a new light after tonight. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were a little bit more lucky today, because one week before, you made an appointment to a hair salon. Your hair was freshly dyed and perfectly adjusted, also you was wearing one of your new clothes. It was a white, sleevless mini dress, with heart patterns but because of the weather you underneath it put a pastel pink blouse on. Also, you did your makeup as well. At the last minute, while you were waiting outside of the dorm’s building shaking from the cold and because of the excitement in your uncomfortable higheels, you realized that now you are really doing this and from now on you have to do your best and use your so far non existing acting skills to make this whole fake dating an ostensible true one. 

Hyunjin came right on time, he was so good looking that you almost forgot about the fact, how much you disliked him a moment ago. He was also suprised, that you looked different than usual, and this different look absolutely made you stunning: 

- Y/N, you are not that bad looking after all... - you nearly smiled at his compliment,  when he opened his mouth again: 

- But of course, you have to try harder... See, this is what I’ve been talking about, Mia and I would look fantastic together but now, they are just an average couple and you and I... Well, it’s better if I not speak about it. - you pinched his arm, and he cried out from the sudden pain: 

- Who do you think you are?! What if you left a mark on my soft skin?! I will break up if you do this again! 

- I will be the first one who dump you! Why are you always act like a dramatic diva? Stop it please! 

- Y/N we just started this but you already dancing on my nerves! - you shook your head and turned around: 

- I will leave then! - unbelievable! He is so rude, regardless of the fact that you have to make a plan before going inside because you guys have to face with a real cheering couple. Namely Felix and Mia were chilling at the dorm because they didn’t have any practise this afternoon and after he told the boys about their relationship, the dorm became a safe place for them. 

- Okay, be happy! Sorry Y/N, now pretty please behave and be a little bit more cooperative. - you gave up,  being offended won’t make things better: 

- What should we say first? 

- I will do the hardest parts, you just have to follow my lead and nod to everything! Uhm... - Hyunjin hummed, while he was searching for something in his pocket: 

- You need to wear this. - he put a silver ring in your hand, your heart sinked: 

- Is this, some kind of joke? 

- No, it’s matching! - he showed up his forefinger with the exact same ring on it: 

- It’s so cheesy and cringe worthy! - you complained. 

- What did you just say Y/N? - he asked in a faked kind way, which made you shiver: 

- Nothing Hyunjin, just please can we get through this before I change my mind?

Being in the elevator, waiting for to reach the floor where the dorm was. Probably became the most nerv wrecking moments of this day. When it’s finally arrived, both of you took a deep breath: 

- Ready? - he asked you in front of the door, you just quickly nodded with fear in your eyes. 

It was strange being here again, but with a totally different aim, not with the intention to visit Felix. So, you were standing there, when the others finally realized that somebody entered the dorm. Felix was the first, who turned his head towards you. He was laying on the couch, with Mia in his arms, they were playing video games together. You tried everything to keep your calmness but it was difficult. “Do you really wanna do this?” - the question repeated itself all over and over again. 

- Y/N! - Felix stood up from the couch and rushed to you, his happines was wriitten on his face: 

- Did you read my letter? That’s why are you here? I thought I’m gonna lose you, I’m so relieved now... - then Changbin also came out from his bedroom: 

- Y/N I’m so happy that you are here! Woah, do you feel better now? I love your new hairstyle! - you almost blushed at his comment but you were too nervous because of Felix. 

- Noona! - the moment, when Jeongin saw you, he covered his mouth and his eyes were in agape: 

- You look incredible Noona... 

- Hey Jeongin, don’t you have any homework to do, rather than playing the all grown up? - Changbin noted. 

- Hey guys! - Chan also came out to the living room, he quickly greeted you with a hug: 

- How is your injured head my aussie sister? You look stunning today as well! - then, Hyunjin got enough from your praising, also Mia, she was still sitting on the couch, sending death glares at you. The chill runned down on your spine: 

- I arrived home as well and no one care about me? - Hyunjin said with a false cute tone. 

- I would care about you but you lied to us! 

- Exactly when did I lie to you Changbin? - he asked. 

- You said, you are going to introduce your girlfriend as well! I don’t know, maybe I’m blind but no one came with you... 

- Really, imagine this Y/N he told us that he has a girlfriend after I revealed my relationship with Mia! - Felix was giggling but you still didn’t want to respond to him, firstly because you didn’t know how to answer after all: 

- Are you guys idiots? I came here with my girlfriend! - Minho was in silence, from the moment you two arrived but then he couldn’t stand this foolishness anymore and made a sarcastic comment for the situation: 

- Then, where is your girlfriend? She is playing hide and seek? 

- Y/N IS MY GIRLFRIEND! - he managed to say it out loud but still it’s sounded hilarious. Everyone started laughing: 

- Wait, are you serious? - Chan asked, when he saw that you are not laughing with them: 

- Is it serious Noona? - Jeongin asked as well. Felix stopped laughing and stared deeply into your eyes: 

- I-It’s can’t be serious right Y/N? He never liked you! - you tried to form out a coherent sentence but you couldn’t reply: 

- You never heard that expression before that hate is almost love? 

- Hyunjin stop this nonsense, we all know it’s not true, am I correct Y/N? - seeing Felix’s astonished face was your main goal but now it felt a little bit different rather uncomfortable than satisfying: 

- It’s true! We have matching rings as well, like a proper instaworthy couple, see? - he grabbed your hand and show the rings to the others: 

- I don’t care about it! I want to hear it from her! Answer me Y/N pease say it’s not true... 

- What if it’s true? Who cares about them? They are just tryna copy us babe... - Mia added and rolled her eyes. 

- Then, is it true? - his face became paler, yours as well, but still you had to respond: 

- It’s true Felix. I’m his girlfriend now. Aren’t you happy? - you asked the same question as him, when he told you about Mia for the first time. He just listened to your words in a complete shock: 

- Can we talk? Come to the rooftop... now... - is he really planning to leave his surely annoyed girlfriend here and go up to the rooftop with you?

- Felix, don’t try to hurt her again! Because of you, she suffered enough! What do you want to do now? Y/N don’t go with him... - you just stared at the  ground, you were curious about what Felix is wants to say but you didn’t want to obey him: 

- Hyunjin, it’s okay, I can handle it, he is my friend after all, or he was once. 

- “Once?” So, now that you have a boyfriend? Am I forgotten? I was the one who introduced him to you! Also, you said you hate him, and he hates you as well! Why are you suddenly together with him? If he was a prick with you! 

- Don’t talk about him like that! - you never thought, not even your wildest dreams that you are gonna be on Hyunjin’s side against Felix. 

- Is he offending me? - he asked you, because you and Felix were talking in english. 

- Not important just let me settle things down, okay? I will go up with him now. 

- You shouldn’t Y/N, he is trying to control your emotions... Remember, what happened with you because of him! - “and because of you” 

- Don’t worry h... - everyone was watching at you right now, but you know that you have to say out to make things more offical and real: 

- D-don’t worry ho... hon.. honey... - finally, but your tone sounded like that you are cursing him not pet naming him: 

- “Honey?” - Changbin repeated the word in disbilief. 

- I will be right back. - Felix glanced at Mia and after back at you: 

- Follow me. - his voice was so deep and scary that the pace of your heart became faster. 

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It was nice, being on the fresh air again, after all the drama. But, it was just the beginning of this craziness. The sun already went down, the sky seemed cold blue and unfriendly: 

- Do you planned this? Saying that you are hate him and dating behind my back?! I thought we are real friends, I told my secrets and you didn’t tell yours! What the heck Y/N? Are you gone mad? - you never seen him that furious before, it was truly scary: 

- Why is it so bothersome to you?! You are dating as well! You are happy as well! Then, why are you acting so immature? 

- Immature? Am I immature? You are the immature one Y/N! He is not your type, he doesn’t deserves you! - at this moment, your emotions break loose, you couldn’t hold it in not even for a second, it meant too much pressure, you had to tell him: 

- You are telling me that he doesn’t deserves me? I think you are the one, who never deserved me! I loved you Felix! Dammit! I loved you so much, the feeling even kept me awake at nights! Always worrying about you, always praying for your health, and career! I just wanted to see you happy and whole again! I hoped that you became famous and reach your dreams! I never burdened you with my love, I never wanted to bind you to myself... - you try to hold in, you didn’t want to cry, but it was impossible: 

- Y/N... You were in love with me... ? Since when? 

- From the moment we first met. I was in love with you.... I was in love with you when we seperated, and I was in love with you when we started to become friends again... I never forgot to love you, regardless of the distance. 

- You never told me about this!

- It was so obvious! You were just too blind to see, also maybe you didn’t want to see it, because then you would had to face with the fact and refuse my feelings! Of course it was more comfortable not to notice.

- No, Y/N... Let me explain it, did you read my letter? 

- No, I’ve deleted it. - you admitted. 

- What? 

- I was serious back then in the hospital... I don’t think we can be friends from now on.. I feel like, you just used my adoration and kindness because I always supported you and I always wanted to be there for you no matter what... When the saseang attacked me, you just thanked me that the victim wasn’t Mia. Do you know, how painful is your selfishness to me? You have no idea, what I’ve been through... - Felix looked at you and there were tears in his eyes, you gulped, you never imagined that you will see him like this, because of you he was crying? 

- Y/N, please... Listen to me just once... Quit dating with Hyunjin... It’s not real, I know it can’t be... He is not the right one for you. 

- You were the one, who is not right for me Felix.. Not him. - you wanted to walk away, but he grabbed your hand in panick to make you stay: 

- Let go of me! - you raised your voice: 

- Y/N you can’t do this with me, don’t go back... - he pleaded, but you didn’t listen just relased your hands from his and turned around: 

- Wish me luck Felix... 

- I won’t. I won’t say congratulation either, because I don’t want this relationship to last! 

[scorpiointuitiveenergist]

Experiences with the Hellenic Gods: APHRODITE

Friendly Reminder: They are gods, but they are very human also, so they make mistakes. They look and act like us because in that way, we can relate to them.   All of this are my own experiences, so if you had something different, you are welcome to comment, still doesn’t invalidate my opinion, neither yours. Caring is sharing so if you find this useful, share this to someone that might need some enlightment in the subject.

So here we are, the real deal, my beautiful sea-born mom, my lady, my queen of love and aesthetics. Yes this is going to be a loooong post! Lets talk about my current tutelar deity, the one who is teaching me a lot, the Star that shines the most! (yes she wanted a lot of epithets before anouncing her name, lol) Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty has arrived on stage! As I said in previous chapters, She is the one who took me in her guardianship, when I prayed for which one of the twelve gods wanted to be my patron, I suddenly went outside and saw in the west a huge pink cloud shaped like a heart. Before that I she took me as her student, I had once prayed in tears in front of Venus at that time, I was conflicted a bit with Christianity, but praying to her star, that time, was so inside me I had to cry, because since I am gay and everything I do is bad to their believes, I broke the mold, and cried after making it, because inside my soul, I knew she was going to understand me. She made me break the chain my mind had that what I was doing was wrong. I was a pretty rebel guy, but still that christian background kinda haunted me. So now I dont feel guilty anymore and I am able to perform better on spells and contacting other gods. I can’t talk you a lot about what she makes me to do because tutelar deities secrets are personal stuff, but still she told me I could give you some advices she have given to me. Aphrodite can be a very lovable, energetic and happy woman, but she can be very strict and if you dont respect her way she can be fierce. So after doing that prayer, the next day, I was walking when suddenly I felt her purifying, fresh and energetic energy, I wanted to dance and smile, it was a very nice sensation. But it was short timed. Another day, I was deppresed about a boy, and Aphrodite told me that I should try ivoke her energy into me. I was kinda skeptical about it, because I feared she take my body and made me do things at my expenses. I did my proper research and found out that actually you dont get possesed, but rather get spirited, you are you, but with different perceptions that outside people can see, feeling diferent too. So I did it, it lasted about an hour or so. I saw my eyes in the mirror and I saw the glow, Aphrodite’s glow in my eyes I started smiling and feeling much better. My brother even saw me and felt stranged, he told me I had puppy eyes and felt my energy pretty... entuthiast. I went to the bus and felt how Her powers, was fixing my hurted heart. It felt like the shattered pieces were getting healed and made me feel much better. After the bus stop, I had to walk to college for my test and an english teacher, a young handsome atheltic guy, gave me a ride to college, we are very friendly with each other, but that day, he never stopped staring at me, even I felt his face come too close to mine that time, nothing inappropiate happened but still it was fun! I always felt he had a small crush on me and that day it seemed a bit obvious. Still I went to the exam and everything. The teacher is a young handsome dude too, but he is pretty much an arrogant guy that could be nice sometimes, he had a bitchy attitude with me sometimes. That day he saw me and I smiled to him back. God, you would have loved to see his smile, he smiled like if I actually made him really happy! I did my test and everything, even finally met the guy who I was interested in (not in a romantic way, but he was new and spoke with argentinian accent, so I felt pretty drawn to him... I am not going to lie, he is hot, still I wanted to know him in a not romantic way!) Her energy can help you ease situations and people, even other gods! Ares for example got more fond to me after getting a bit of Aphrodite esence. (After that situation and banished her energy from me, I felt a bit of her inside me, I checked with my magical energist brother and he told me that was like a back up just in case my feelings got damaged and could help me right away) I told you these because Aphrodite likes to show off how can adventurous can be on her side, so she was like, “Tell them that story!”, so if you found it pretty offensive or weird I apologize.

So in my experience Aphrodite has been a great teacher, friend, and goddess! She likes to hang out a lot, laugh, joke and look pretty. But remember that she is a Goddess, and deserves respect. She can be strict and get angry, because love is a very serious matter to her. You know, the love is the strongest force, no surprise why she could protect Paris from Zeus thunderbolt using her girdle to protect him. More importantly, many women seems to despise her for being a slut, sex slave driven by men desire or weird shit like that. She actually hates when a man or woman talk about sexuality as if it is a piece of meat. For her making love is connecting to somebody else, enjoying you and your partner’s body, soul and mind. She can be quite liberal, yes, but she makes love because she desires to share a good experience and enjoy her body, rather than please or fullfill an arousal. She DECIDES who to give and make love too. But an most important aspect is that She likes to teach is about self love. Straight, Gay, Bi, Trans, Ace, NB, all and nothing, she loves them and teach them to love themselves. Thats why she is happy, and healed my heart, not because I wanted to attract someone, but because she knew I had to feel better, and in order to shine in your beauty, you have to smile. She is more of the beauty in happiness and Persephone beauty in sadness (I will explain myself in that chapter). She wants you to smile, enjoy yourselves, fertilize your feelings and make the fruit that others will perceive and find them attractive. She believes anyone has a star in their hearts and you can make it shine by loving yourself. So keep practicing self love, she likes to remind that the most important thing is to feel good and embrace yourself. She also loves people who fight for their happines, she can be lovely but a brave soldier too. Fight for love, not for anything Ares was his lover ;). Rember this is my experience with her, so I share how I perceive her. She likes pretty things roses, seashells, jewels, roses with honey, but rememeber, if you are going to offer her something, cheap or not, try to be in the best condition it can, wilted flowers are a huge no for her LOL.

Blessings to everyone and I’m sorry for the long post, I hope Aphrodite bless your life dear readers!

[lamiaward]

Operation Save Mom

I don't own OUAT.

Emma is very special, too. For some reason, Henry keeps thinking about that. Perhaps it was the way his mom had said it- with not just the slightly exesperated fondness she often had in her voice around Emma, but something more. Something heavy. Something he feels like he should know about, but it is probably a secret

. He tosses and turns, straining to make out his mother's face in dark. The curtains are closed, so he can't see much but a dark shape that makes a gesture he cannot decipher. What does Emma want? Is she asking me to go back to sleep, or is she just saying it's okay. He can't see any expressions in the dark, but he just knows she is slightly rolling her eyes because- well she does that a lot. She does that a lot around mom.

" Hi" he mumbles sleepily when she squats down next to his bed.

" What are you doing, kid? " .

" Thinking about stuff" he smiles at her.  "Thank you for staying to guard mom".

" Eh- it's my job".

His heart gets all weird when he thinks about it- like that time a really large dog wanted to bite him and his mom totally freaked out. " Your job is to hurt mom, isn't it?".

" wooh, kid no way. It is never a hero's job to hurt a - well to hurt anyone".

" But it is like your duty to stop the bad guys. And m-mom" he swallows and pushes on. " Mom is- mom did bad things. Really bad ones. And she will always fight, because that is what a Mills does. We are not really quitters- unless it makes us extremely unhappy. It is okay to quit when you're unhappy- but not otherwise'.

"Maybe your mom was unhappy".

He hates her supersight- that is why she starts to reach for him and probably has that expression adults have when they offer platitudes ( mom never does that. Mom may lie and deceive, but she says he is too smart for platitudes. That's how he learned the word in the first place)

"You think I made my mom unhappy" he hopes she thinks it is puberty that makes his voice like that.

" I think you are the only thing that gave you mom a little happines. She doesn't - I don't think she wanted to be on the other side".

" On the other side? Oh - you mean a villain". " Yes. You know, I didn't really chose to be a hero".

" But-".

" For a while, I didn't want to " he even forgets to glance at his mom every ten seconds. But Emma is good. That doesn't make sense!

" You have no idea what it is like kid. You have these talents, and you kind of love them you know? But they come with a whole lot of baggage. I didn't matter before that- no one looked at me twice. And then- I exploded and it was discovered I had powers".

Now he is the one reaching for her. He grabs her hand, squeezes the fist. Don't be sad, or angry like that. He doesn't really know what to say, so he just listens. " People suddenly cared about me. And there were people telling me how to be- they sometimes take you away even if you want to stay with your parents, did you know that?".

" Is it like camp? " he hasn't been to any, but he has heard about them. He used to be mad he couldn't go to them, felt like it was mom not allowing him to find friends.

Emma hufs. " No. It is forever".

"F-forever?" he stammers. He imagines someone in a suit trying to take him. He bites his lip and scolds himself at the immediate thought- mom would stop them. She would hurt them before they could even touch me- , at how it is more comforting than scary, and infuriating.

" Yeah. I knew this one girl called Lily. Her specialty was shapeshifting. One day, you hear all this rubling and screaming- like there is an earthquake and a freaking bomb at the same time. And there was this thing, like a dinosaur or probably a dragon , I don't even know . It is Lily. She tried to get away from the pri- the place so she can see her mom again, you know".

He tugs his blanket. He keeps shivering regardless. " Did she?" They let her go, they must have. Heroes don't-

" No. They caught her again" her doesn't think Emma's laugh sounds very happy. It is definitely not her usual laugh. " She swore at them, and she kept breaking the rules. She swore they would have to let her go if she misbehaved enough".

" Oh. Why wouldn't let her go to her mom? ". He is about to repeat his question when Emma replies again. " Her mom had made some wrong choices". " So they were protecting her".

" They were keeping a girl from a loving mother, that's what they were doing". Why does she sound so angry? They were protecting her friend.

" But if her mother was bad , then she could have hurt her. Or she could've turned Lily bad".

" Well, they weren't good for her either. Most of the people there were just always talking about our talents and how we were going to be heroes. That's all you heard each day. And every day, you had this strict stupid schedule thing. Like - " she twists her voice, so it sounds like slighly higher. " it is 7.15 girls, time to rise and eat your perfectly made food that should turn you into our little perfect superheroes"

" But- you guys needed to be taught how to save civilians and everything right? It is elite teaching- for the most fortunate".

" Fortuna- I was in the freaking system, seperated from my parents, raised by shitty families and then I was in a shitty boarding school-like place where you could joke about at least of the teachers being cyborgs but some probably were and others were just emotionless creeps".

" I - but you were a hero, surely you had all these friends and the teachers must have been heroes- " he interupts himself, frowns. " And you cannot claim cyborgs are evil, that is not accurate and it also kind of bad and mean".

He hears her sigh. " I am not saying they are. And my point is just that - it is not all it is cracked up to be. And sometimes- too often, actually- you feel like you don't have a choice. I didn't ask to be a hero, and from what I know about your mom, she definitely didn't ask to be a villain".

He slowly sits up, and stares at his mom. It is too dark to see anything more than the general outline of her laying in bed but he has known her his entire life. He knows what she looks like, knows what look is reserved for 'incompetent' councilmembers, which smile is genuine and which one is politician, and how her glares don't always means she is angry. She just glares a lot.

But he doesn't know why she is a supervillain.

Worse, he never thought to ask.

And suddenly, it is all he can think about. Because there had been a small bit of doubt, a large bit of confusion - because how could the mother that would sing Spanish lullabye's whenever the storms frightened him, or that would allow him to watch her cook and rub flour over his cheeks to make his laugh- how could the woman that would do all those things, how could she also be the terrifying villain he has been taught to hate? He had eventually decided it was all a lie- every single time his mom would call him 'mijo' or beam at a drawing he handed her, or create stories with him- it was all a lie. A deception. Because villains can't also be loving moms, that is not how it works

And he had been angry at her, and this stupid world that told him his mom was a villain and villains don't love their sons, and he had been angry at himself. Because he hadn't wanted his mom to go to jail, or into any of the reform programs the classes and journals talk about (which had given him such horrific nightmares that his mom had made one of his teachers cry ) - he had just wanted her home. And actually loving him. Not fake-loving him. Like a villain.

But amidst all that, he had never written in his notebook something like 'Mom- villain. Why? '. What if she didn't choose to- if she was forced? Then she could- then - " Do you think my mom has always been a villain- that she is meant to be one?" he whispers.

" No. No, I don't think that at all".

And Henry looks at his mom, imagines the injuries he can't see right now but are burned into his mind forever, and she saved Emma and thinks about the massacre of the Dark and he decides-

I am gonna find out why she became a villain. I am gonna find out , and make sure she doesn't have to anymore. And then I am gonna make Emma less sad, and we are going to be a family.

He starts by interrogating auntie Kathryn ( except he is totally subtle and sneaky, so she doesn't know it is an interrogation)

" So you have to interview redeemed villains for this project?" she asks. She is shaking the coffee machine, possibly thinking about turning it into rust with one small touch, and sounds distracted. Distracted is good- that means his plot is working. Heroes plot too. Probably. Maybe I should ask that, too.

" Yup. The teacher thought it would be good- because of the protests against the redemption projects, you know".

" I am not really a fan of the projects, Henry" he can swear that a small piece of the coffee machine just turned rusty. And her voice makes him take a small step back, even though he knows she would never even think about hurting him.

" Yeah, but you actually know anything about it" she jams the buttons on the coffee machine again, the material beneath her fingers slowly turning into something different. " And uh- I was thinking about giving it a twist. Like- I would speak about the advantages, like how it is giving villains a chance, but I would also be critical where needed and offer solutions to the things that need a lot of improvement".

Does auntie also have superstrength? She definitely is wickedly fast, because she is suddenly pulling him into her arms and hugging him. He immediately places his arms around her, hoping to soothe her ( that was a sob, he knows it was ). She pulls back several seconds after that, with a look that makes him feel more nauseous about the redemption iniative than ever.

" You're such a good child, honestly".

He grins a little. " So I have heard before".

He lets her smile at him until he starts to squirm. " So interview?"

" Yes. I will answer your questions- if you promise to keep this our little secret. Your mother would disembowel me if she discovered I had been speaking about this particular subject".

" She is your friend".

"True. She is also terrifying however. And she loves you enough to slowly and utterly destroy me if I ever even upset you".

He wonders whether mom would really hurt auntie Kathryn. When he had just found out, he used to think she would. He thought villains didn't even really have friends anyway- or if they had, that they wouldn't mind hurting them. Now, he isn't so sure. " You think she would hurt you? ".

" She would be furious, that is for sure" she hesitates for a moment, then smiles almost mischievously and adds " although she is has been more.. mellow lately. Ever since a certain blonde woman entered her life, in fact".

He snorts a little. " I don't think mom could ever be mellow" he says, then adds " But she is definitely better, isn't she?".

"  I think so".

He deflates. Don't be stupid, this is what you wanted for mom. And it was and it is - he just can't help but feeling all sort of things at the thought that he didn't make mom happy as well.  "She never was like that for me, wasn't she?" . She only stopped doing bad stuff when Emma started becoming friends with her. She was still bad when she raised me.

His auntie abandons the machine, glaring at it one last time. She uses enough force that her grip on his shoulders is nearly painful, but her eyes are really gentle. " Henry, don't ever think that you do not matter- or matter less than Emma. Regina would kill and die for you. There is nothing painful she wouldn't go through for you, and there is nothing she wants more than for you to live a happy life".

He looks down. He can't look at her directly, or he might do something like crying. Heroes are strong, and selfless. I can never be a hero if I cry about stuff like this. " But she was still doing bad stuff at first".

" Your mother is a very complicated woman, Henry. But the moment she had you - " . She smiles.  "Do you know you are the reason Regina and I are friends in the first place?".

" No" he scrunches his brow. " How is that possible?".

She gently leads him towards a chair, like she can feel how he sort of feels weak right now. Maybe it is weeks - no months- off stress and anger and sleeping too little and not just this moment but he thinks he may be trembling.

" Regina had just adopted you - and she was struggling. She wanted so badly to be the right mother for you, and whenever there was even the slightest sign you were not completely happy, she was very influenced by it. It was during one of these occassions we really started to bond".

" But you were friends before that, weren't you?" he doesn't really remember his mom ever saying when exactly their friendship started. He just remembers auntie Kathryn has always been in the background.

"No, not really. Regina was friendlier with me than with most- but she is used to keeping people at a distance". " Oh "

" Yes. But we were similar, and she sometimes allowed me to chat with her during her lunch breaks. But we only really became friends after she had adopted you".

" I don't understand. Why would my- my" he stammers and she just starts to talk again, like she knows it still feels like speaking a language that is so very different from your own. Like speaking Russian, or Greek, or Chinese, when you're used to English.

" Your adoption meant that Regina was even more exhausted- and desperate for a little help really" she winks at him. " Although she would never have admitted that".

" So you helped her and then you became friends?"

She snorts.  " It is a little more complicated than that. Much like your mother, actually".

He is vaguely aware that he needs other information than this, but surely this is important too. Everything that would make things less confusing is. " Why? What happened?".

" Well, your mother was in the dinner for breakfast. And she actually didn't look impeccable, for once. Your drool was on her blazer - and the make-up could not fully hide she had bags. It was obvious she had not slept properly for a while" she shrugs " So I approached her".

She smiles again, and rolls her eyes a little. " You know your mom, so you probably know what her reaction was like". Pretending she is completely fine, and sort of stare at you with slight disdain like you are being an idiot or perhaps a little crazy for thinking otherwise.

"She kept staring at me like that and then you just started wailing. So I reacted normally- I flinched and took several steps back- but your mother immediately picked you up and cradled you. I actually remember thinking something like - is she crazy? Who would want that sound closer- but I couldn't walk away. Not when she started muttering to you and she just sounded.. well oddly young".

" What did she say?".

" Por favor Henry, mijo, please do not cry. And then she just kept asking what was wrong, and doing things like checking your diaper- His cheeks flush slightly, and he wrinkles his nose. " and offering you a bottle, and toys but you wouldn't calm down. So I offered to take you".

" And that worked?".

" Well no. Your mother first glared at me like she was pretending to be Medusa, but finally allowed me to take you after three more minutes of sobbing. But only because she had to go to the toilet. And when she returned- " he immediately feels a sense of foreboding at the way his auntie shudders. "  it was pretty much an apocalyptic scene. You had thrown up all over my clothes, so that I reeked and my clothes would have to be burned. But not only that- you had also decided that was the exact right moment to fill your diaper and you had not stopped screaming from the moment Regina disappeared".

She playfully glares at him.  "You nearly made me cry".

" But mom offered to take you home so you could borrrow a shirt or whatever, and you became friends ".

"  Uh no. Your mother was already wrapped around your little finger and still very likely to blame others for what was going wrong than herself, or anyone she loved. So she more or less ripped you from my arms and beraded me for 'upsetting her son'. What followed was a rather intense argument, until your mother decided she 'had enough' of me 'upsetting her son' and stalked away".

" Wait, so she just got mad at you" he scowls. She was just being nice, why did mom not see that.

" I did comment that you were a handful. She was being civil before that" .

" Hey!".

" What, you were crying" " I was a baby, that is what babies do! ". He is pretty sure they do. That is nearly all he ever sees babies do.

" I know, but there is no reason for all the crying" she silences him with a gesture when he tries to protest.  " Besides, I apologized the next day. At which point I realized Regina must be ready to collapse, because I knew for a fact she had been working late and she did not have a babysitter so she must have been taking care at you for a while".

"I thought Ruby took care of me when mom had work and really could not take me with her".

" No, at this time in your mother's life she did not really have contacts. Of course everyone knew her, but she was sort of isolated".

" Oh" he has to swallow several times and he misses half of what auntie Kathryn says after that, because all he can think about is his mom sitting alone, and eating alone, and being alone while everyone around her is with friends. It is pretty awful.

" ... which of course led to your mother being amused forever, because she is a sadist". " Uh what?".

" Nothing. I was just- you know what, it is not that relevant anyways. And it is one of the parts of the story Regina will really have my head for if I tell it to you".

" But- ". " No. I should have not told you".

" But you didn't".

" Don't Regina Mills me".

" What?".

" Your expression. It is an exact copy of your mother's. Please do not use it on me ever again, I am not actually a moron".

" Okay. But you still haven't told me how you two became friends".

" It is a long story. But the gist of it is that I tricked and coarced your mother into letting me take care of you, which led to her actually getting sleep and also to me discovering your mother was the evil queen because you got abducted and- ".

" I got abducted- ? ". His auntie hesitates, then - " Did your teacher already talk about the Annihilation?". " Wait the one where the evil que- ".

"Yes. But what the books never mention, is that it was not just a terrible fight between two supervillains that cost civilian lives as well".

" Because of me, people d-died?" he stammers, struggling to remember what his teacher had talked about. Several hundred injured. Dozens deaths. Two cities destroyed- earthquakes, lava erupting from the ground, civilians that collapsed because of mind control. They had even been to some of the monuments , but - "  they never talk about a baby".

His auntie scoffs. " They don't like to talk about anything that could humanize villains".

He stares at her. " I d-don't understand".

"The books- they probably speak off your mother attacking unprovoked, right?". " They-  " they spoke about it a while ago- before he knew who his mom was, he thinks. " They say it was a powerplay. My teacher says that meant that the two villains were just kind of challenging each other? To see who was strongest?".

" That is not what it was like at all".

" I got abducted" he whispers.

" Yes. And it was not just supervillains either".

" What?".

" I do not have all the specifics either, Henry, I believe not even your mother does. But on that day, they took you. And the trails that were left- well, it indicates a hero was involved".

" Maybe it was a Rogue". " No. This one of the higher ups, we are certain of it".

He suddenly thinks of Emma's angry, steel voice and- they were keeping a girl from a loving mother. It's forever. He almost wants to ask for a bag to help with his breathing.  "  They- they wanted to take me from m-mom?".

" Yes".

" Why? Did she think she would be bad to me, because she wasn't, she is mom and she is really good with voices and stuff and- " he suddenly stops. His mom is not bad to him. Sure, she is super strict sometimes and some of her rules are dumb (like not running on the stairs) but before he knew who she was, he would never have wanted to leave. And even now- the thought of someone making sure he never sees her is just wrong for some reason.

In the middle of another thing that feels like a missing puzzle piece slowly clicking into place, his auntie continues talking. He forces his attention back to her.  " The motives are a little unclear. But that is not the most important thing. You were taken, Henry, and your mother lost it".

" How did they even manage to take me?".

" They attacked townhall". " But- the books never talk about that. About any of it".

"  I know. But that is what happened. You were with her in her office when they blasted the door apart. They hurt your mother pretty badly, but- ".

Henry gasps.  "What, why? What did they do!". " They tried to take you from her Henry. She was obviously not pulling her punches- even if she was being very careful, to avoid hurting you- and they fought back just as hard. She should've rested, but she tried to go after you as soon as she was conscious again".

" What happened?".

"She had been out for a while, and we had not found her immediately, so the abductors were nowhere to be found. It costs us several days to find them - and then your mother refused to wait another day. So we had to attack without information on who we were attacking, or what kind of forces they had". She shakes her head. " All for you. That entire nightmare- ".

He stands up and kicks his chair.  "I don't want her to do stuff like that for me! I want her to be good. " .

" Henry, heroes are not always rig-".

" I want her to be good because I don't want to be hurt. Because she could hurt Ruby, or anyone could hurt her back. Anything could go wrong. I don't want that! "  he takes a deep, shuddering breath. " And- and -  she lied to me. She told me I was her son, and that she loved me, and she did all those nice things that made me think she was good but it was all a lie ".

She takes advantage of the seconds he needs to gasp for air. " Henry, your mother's love for you was never a lie. All the things she did were never lies. And you are her son". " But she lied about so much".

" Yes. She did lie about what she was, and what she was doing. And she did not tell you that you were adopted. But everything else was genuine".

" How can you KNOW" his voice breaks again. " How can you know, because I don't. I don't know whether she is just smiling at me, or she is actually plotting something. I don't know whether 'te quiero' actually means anything to her. I don't know and it is r-really s-shitty okay?".

"Oh honey" she says, and he kind of wants to push her away when she opens her arms and he kinds of wants to hug her back. He eventually just her hug him briefly. " Do not ever doubt your mom loves you. Even if she shows the wrong way, she does love you so much. I promise".

She quickly stops the hug, and keeps him at arm's distance with a slightly horrified expression. " Did you just wipe your nose?". " Yeah, it was-".

" And you get away with that? I did not think Regina was a fan of germs either".

" Mom does not mind that much. Like, she cares but it is not like she throws a box of tissues at my head when I have a cold".

" What.". " Emma did that once. Mom did not let her eat the risitto, nor the ice cream we had afterwards as punishment. Just vegetables. So many vegetables".

Auntie Kathryn chuckles. "Those two" .

" Yeah. Pretty much".

She studies him quietly for a moment. " Are you okay again?".

" Yeah. I think so. It is just- " he looks at his feet as he drags them on the floor. "  It just really confusing ".

His auntie just throws her arm around him briefly, and smiles gently.  " Perhaps we can do that interview another time, huh?".

He grins at her. It is not insincere , but it isn't all there either. His head is too filled with how lonely his mom must have been, and how one of the worst villain attacks in history was apparently about how his mom loves him. " I would like that".

He watches them from the doorway

They're bickering a lot- " Gently" , " Seriously you are complaining about how I tend to you? Which is totally not what I am supposed to do, by the way" -  and taunt each other a little bit and most people might even be deceived, and think they do not like each other.

But mom never smiles like that. And Emma? Emma hasn't stopped smiling. She smiles when she carefully slides her fingers over a large bruise on mom's arms ( operation save mom is too important. Don't go in and ruin this moment. Mom is fine. She is Emma. She is fine), even if she also clenches her teeth for a moment and looks willing to throw another person through a window ( she admitted this once - he thinks to make them both, and especially his mom, laugh- ; she used to do stupid things like that when she was still struggling with controlling her powers).

And mom takes full advantage from the slight blush Emma has as she tugs mom's shirt up - only a little, thank the Gods- but she is just as bad as Emma is honestly. I mean, her breath even hitches and she kind of falters in the middle of her teasing-taunting.

He grins as he watches them, Emma's fingers as gentle as mom's eyes, sharing little glances whenever they stop bickering, the way Emma looks at his mom when she whispers "thank you" and how his mom sounds so fond when she replies " You certainly are not obliged to thank me" with an implied 'moron'. It almost makes him believe the rest of operation mom is going to be easy

Except it got so much more complicating, because -I don't think your mom wanted to be a villain and I never wanted to be a hero. Why do the books never talk about that? Why do his teachers, and classmates, and Ruby never talk about that? He has never heard one story about a superhero who didn't want to spend their entire lives saving people, and he certainly has never heard about a villain that wanted something else for themselves.

That could explain it. If mom- if she didn't want to be a villain, then she could love. Right? It is almost easy to believe when his mom smiles and opens her arms wide, doesn't say anything ( even though he suspects he accidentally hurt her jumping onto the bed) but just kisses his forehead when she brushes away his hair.

" Hey mom". " Henry. Was your afternoon with Kathryn enjoyable".

" Yeah"  he smiles. " She had a fight with the coffee machine again". His mom chuckles. "  Of course she had".

" Uh coffee machine?". " Auntie Kathryn always breaks machines" Henry explains. " I think it has got to do with her talents".

" Henry" his mother warns, glancing at Emma.

" What? She is not going to tell". " She is a hero. She is brainwashed to tell such facts".

" You know, I have a functioning brain just like you" Emma says. His mother briefly grabs her hand, and squeezes it.

" I am aware of that. However, you are still- ".

" Is that how you think off me? As a superhero, an enemy".

" No" the answer makes both Henry and Emma stare at her. " I think off you as a woman who feels like her worthiness depends on saving people, but who also is a good enough person to actually want to help to save those who deserve it. Who actually is not obtuse enough to believe there is something like 'evil' and 'good'".

He is like 94.73 % sure that the look Emma has right now could be described as 'adoring'. He is 100% sure that if anyone - even a hero- would come in right now, Emma would punch them if they as much as insinuated they wanted to hurt his mom.

Of course, she has to break the moment by sort of squirming before asking " what uh does obtuse mean?". " Stupid. Foolish".

He immediately knows Emma has misunderstood when she actually reers back a little, before her face flushes with anger. " Hey just because my situation didn't allow me to buy fancy dictionaries, or always go to school- " .

" That is not what I mean. The definition of obtuse is foolish". " Oh. You think I am not stupid?"

" I think you are a great deal smarter than the average person" she says, then quickly adds " That does not mean I think you are a prodigy, just that you are smarter than the idiots I am surrounded with".

Emma laughs. " Sure, your majesty. It it too late, I know your secret now". His mom just stares at her, unamused and unimpressed.  "You think I am smart. And you think I am a good person".

" But you're a hero. Doesn't everyone think you are a good person? ".

" Y-your mother knows a little bit more about me than most " Emma hesitantly admits, glancing at Regina. She only calms down when mom places a comforting hand on her arm.

" So wait. Does this mean you have done- ".

" Henry, this is not the appropriate time and place for questions like that. If Emma ever wants to answer them, then you are free to ask. But she has to indicate she wants to discuss this with you, you are not to force her to reveal anything. Promise?".

"But mom, it is not-  ". "Henry" "But- ".

" Kid. Your mother is right- I really don't want to talk about that".

"  Why not? You're a hero! Surely you can't have done anything really bad?".

" Because they're painful memories".

" Oh. Like with Lily?".

He glances at his mom when he feels her tense next to her. That's weird. He studies her for a while- that vein is pulsing a little, and she is trying to hide how annoyed she is right now. At least he thinks it is annoyance.  

" Something like that, yes".

" Lily, miss Swan? "   Apparently he is not the only one noticing how his mom is suddenly using miss Swan again; Emma throws her a look that makes mom cross her arms and scowl. " Yes. She was a friend of mine".

" A hero".

" You can keep the disgust out of your voice" Emma warns. Her voice softens five seconds later. " I think you would have liked her actually ".

" And why is that?".

" She hated the system. She didn't agree with anything. She thought they were brainwashing us- she used to skip classes to find evidence and got me into so much trouble".

" She was a Rogue?". " No. She was- Lily was just Lily. She was just homesick, I guess. But she was right about some of the things she said".

There is something smug about his mom right now. " So you do think the heroes iniative is flawed".

" I think it is unfair" she is looking at him when she adds " you should never take kids away from parents- not when they've got loving ones".

" Even those parents are supervillains?" Regina whispers

" Especially then. I mean- if the villain is doing something good, if they are raising a kid in a loving way, why would you take that child away? It's bullshit". Mom doesn't even comment on the cursing. She just stares at Emma with an expression he has never seen before.  "I think you one of the very few - " she spits the word like it is a piece of brusselsprout " heroes who thinks like that".

" That's because I have lived through stuff like that. It's not always the villains who make the worst parents- and it is not always heroes who make the right ones".

" You did not live with parents".

" I had foster parents, sometimes".

" Yes, but only children with talents live with heroes or villains, is that not so?".

" You would be surprised. Villains aren't really allowed to have kids- or at least there are special jobs that try to keep villains away from kids - but it still happens. Lots of kids actually get offered a home by villains- there is even an underground network that makes sure the kids get good parents".

" But they're villains" Henry says. All those children are in danger!

"Yes. But they're also people. And it is not like there is a 'villain type' and a 'hero type'. The whole network is focused on making sure the kids won't go to villains that would hurt them, or just try to make them into villains or use them in other ways. It is pretty strict".

" It is also very illegal" his mom comments. He looks at her; does she disapprove? She is the mayor.. but I am pretty sure she breaks laws regularly.

" So? Are you going to turn me in?".

" Of course not. I am merely surprised you have not turned these people in.  You are risking a lot, Emma".

" I know. But I believe that anyone who wants to be a parent, who can actually provide for a child and would love them unconditionally- they should get the fucking chance".

" Language".

" Right. Sorry".

" But wait, if all these kids live with villains- doesn't that mean they're in danger? ". " No. In fact, some of the villains decide to become regular civilians so they can raise their child better".

" But they're still villains. They hurt people!".

" Sometimes, people just need to find a family- or someone who needs them, to have a better purpose in life than crime".

" Yeah, but- that's not- that's not how it is supposed to work!".

He takes a deep breath, then adds " Villains are evil. Heroes are good. You do bad stuff, you are bad. You do good stuff, you are good".

" But humanity is flawed, Henry"  it is his mother's voice, but it doesn't really sound like her. Not in a villanous way, just that he has never heard his strong mom sound so.. small. " Good people can do terrible things. And people you think are monsters- " he automatically reaches for her when her voice trembles "  t-they can do good things".

" Your mom is right" .

When he still just stares at Emma, only breaking the gaze to glance at where his hand is hurting a little because mom is squeezing it, Emma sighs and asks " Do you think it was a bad thing your mom raised you? ".

The reply is instanteous. " What, no!".

" Because- " his mom nods when Emma glances at her. " she wasn't actually allowed to".

" W-what?".

" Villains- they are rules in place that keep them from certain things. They're not allowed to be a bartender, or to even be out at certain times. They should be registered - and if they don't want to go to jail, enter the redemption projects. And they are never allowed to adopt".

" W-why?".

" It is to protect civilians" his mom says, in this really monotone voice that tells him something is wrong. Her voice gets less terrifying when he scoots a little closer. " The theory is that villains would poison them. That they would attack if they were allowed to be on the streets when civilians are too. And they think that villains will automatically hurt children".

" But they're villains" he said softly.

" Yes. But you can't just put them all in one group. There are villains who are terrible, who are empty and wouldn't mind watching toddlers burn. But there are also villains who actually do have a gentle side, and who could even become civilians if you just gave them a chance. There are a lot of different people who are all called 'villains' - and often it is not a monniker they chose. But the system doesn't find these people, it just focuses on the bad and doesn't recognize the good".

His mom is oddly quiet. So quiet, he is almost afraid to look at her. But heroe- we are brave. Emma, and mom, and I. We're brave. He looks at her. She looks-  

" M-mom? Are your injuries reopening or something?".

" No- it is - " her voice cracks and he pushes. " Mama? ¿Qué pasa".

"Nada".

"You're lying! " .

He is about to say more, but then she opens her eyes and he realizes she is crying and- "Perdón" he whispers.

She manages a tiny smile. " It's okay".

" Does talking about these things make you said?" he kind of wants to facepalm because duh. She is crying, so it must make her said.

" It makes me very frustrated.  And sad, yes".

" Why?"

She gently touches his chin, kisses his forehead. " Because you are very dear to me. And these people would take you away" she says when she pulls back and-

Take me? " W-where? And why would they, everything is getting better now!".

He doesn't know why she flinches. " Was it so terrible before?".

" Well- not when I didn't know. But then I - " he hesitates, then presses on. " then I discovered you were hurting people".

" You know, villains aren't the only ones who hurt people. We are called villains, and we seem so terrible but the world cannot be divided like that. It is not that simple. Some of the things the heroes do- " there is enough loathing in her voice for a moment that he wants to pull away. He stays, because his mom is sad. And there is still that nagging  - I do not believe your mother ever wanted to be a villain.

" it is evil. But they never get called that".

" But you have to do bad stuff to be called a villain".

His mom's laugh makes him flinch. " Not always. Sometimes having certain talents, or a certain last name is enough".

"And sometimes, there are people who attempt to shape you. Who won't let you go" it is like his mom is in a trance, using her powers to project something really awful on the wall. He can't see anything, but he thinks she does.

" Did that happen? Did someone- " Did someone make you this way?  He swallows. Am I bad for wishing that that is what happened, that someone forced you to be a villain?

"Henry- ".

" Because if it did- then surely they can't take me from you. They can't!".

"Oh Henry, they have been trying for a long time to steal you from me" she hugs him closer.

He doesn't know whether it is comforting or not. What is she going to do to anyone who tries?  " I will never let anyone take you from me".

I don't want to lose my mom- but I don't want anyone getting hurt either.

I really don't know whether I am satisfied about the last part. The laws & how people decide you're a villain and everything I feel like I should develop that better hm.. So this might change - or I might decide I will use the next chapter to kind of improve it. I don't know yet.

[strawb3rrybl0od]

Don’t Let Me Down pt. 3

Prev/ Next

Summary- Yoongi used to be your soulmate but as he changed you saw a new light in your life

Pairings- Yoongi x reader; Jimin x reader

Warnings- strong language, angst?, bad writhing

word count - 1632

“Park fucking Jimin!” Yoongi shouted as he got into the dorm. ‘Good morning’ would be nicer, but I would keep what I was given- even if it is my name with fuck in between it.

“Yeah?” I answered with unbodered monotone voice. I knew he came to argue with me about yesterday’s activitie but I didn’t want to seem weak in his eyes. I wanted to show him that I’m just as strong as him, even if I’m younger. I usually hate arguments, but one like this unfortunetly can’t be stoped. It seems werd I know- talking about what seem like a simple argument between friends as if it is a war. But for us it is in a way. We man are very competetive. In a way everything for us is a small war- from who comes 1st at the doorm after practise, who is taller or stronger to more serious thing like this.

“You motherfucker!” Yoongi barked as he came in to my room withow knoking.I mean I get it he is angry but like what if I was naked? I looked at him confused, playing innocent.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I am talking about you idiot.”

“Wait...’’ I hummed and petted my chin as if i had a beard- like a cartoon charecter  “Ahh yeah! I get it!” A bit too close to make a dumb joke, but i knew if he got angrier he might start talking with fists. “Is it about me and your kitty going out? ”

“Don’t call her like this.”

“Why? Is it cuz is not a word from your vocabulary? ‘bitch’, ‘whore’? Sorry man I can’t call such hatefull words on a cute girl like her.” I looked up at him from my sitting on the bed position, he was towering over me, about the short yet long distance of 30 cm away. He was quite for a second. So was I. Just looking at him. A small smirk peaking on my lips. I could hear his blood boiling like a pot on a stove. He was going to explode any minute.

“Why the fuck did you go out with her?” his voice got lower. He was trying to hide is fiery emotions. But then again why was he so angry? I just went out to watch a movie with her!

“The question, Yoongi, should be ‘why did she went out with me’ and not you.”

“Because she is desprate for attension.” He answered simply. But how could he talk like this about her- his girlfriend for 5 years.

“She is not desprate. She just wants to be loved. And you give her none of that.” Tried to keep my voice calm.

“Only people who can’t love themselfs beg for others love”

“I’m sure she loves herself a lot. Yoongi, you know that. She doesn’t use people. People use her.”

“So now you are trying to say that I used her?!” The anger came back to him. His voice got louder. ”I didn’t use her! She used me!”

“Min, how the fuck did the girl who loved and loves you used you!? You are the one who used her to make yourself feel loved!” I took a breath to calm myself. My hands, curled in a fist, were shaking just like his.

“ I was so much better when i wasn’t dating her!”

“ Than break up with her you dumass!” I shouted at him.

“I won’t.” He answered calmly, but the anger and fire could be tased in his tone.“ Park, stop acting like a smartass, stop telling me what to do. I am the hyung here. Now will you stop begging for admiration from girls who are taken and will you stop talking with Y/N?”

“No.” I stoode up. “You don’t own her! You can’t stop her from seeng her friends Min.”

And this is were shit got down. He punched me. In the face. Hard.

“Ouch! Are you fucking mental!?” I screamed and looked at him. He was shaking just like me, from adrenaline and anger. Maybe prehaps sadness and regret were part of the reasoning too. Still I couldn’t just stay tere. This would make me seem like a weak pussy.

So I punched him too. Probablt not as hard as he has. After all, we are close friends, or we were.

We started swearing at each other and trying to hurt one another.

“What the fuck is happening?!” Jin shoutted.

Bouth of us stopped When the oldes came, shit was time to stop. Jungkook apeared behind Jin. “Hyungs, it is the early fucking morning! Saturday Morning may I add. Go argue about Y/N somewere else! We are trying to sleep for fuck sake!”

Jin grabbed Yoongi’s colar and dragged him out of my room withou much strugle. Min just looked angry and confused like a stuborn child who just lost a fight. Was I the winner. No. No one was the winer here.

“Jimin- hyung, you know how Yoongi has been resently. Why did you make him angry? You know how easily he fires up.”

“Jungkook, I did nothing wrong. I just went out with Y/N to watch the romace I was begging you to come and see with me last week.”

“He got so angry about such a thing?”

“I guess so.”

“C’mon here hyung. You have a bruse on your jaw. Let me take care of it for you.”

This motherfucker! Who the hell he things he is! He can’t just go out like that with MY girlfriend. At least she told me about it, but it was after they we thogether!

But then again some of the things he said weren’t far from the trught. She probably want to be loved. I wanted to be loved and she gave it to me. And i did nothing. She still loves me?

How?

After I have called her such things so many times? Why did I told her that? None of is true, I knew that. But did she knew it was a lie? Did she belive these awfull things?

When was the last time we went on a date? A week ago? No, we had to buy food for Holly. A month ago? A year?

Fuck...

I,I...I need to ask her out on a date.

But how?

Like I haven’t done this in forever...

Oh, and where!

Should I ask for help? Jin maybe? No. They don’t know her. But I know her. Wait, do I?

After googling for hour or 2: about restourants near by, gifts and such, my anger also got better. Now I am much calmer and “Amm Hi!”

“Ah! Hi Yoongi!”

Oh, she is so happy. I haven’t called her just to talk in agges...

“Are you free tommorow Sunday? I have no scedual so I thoght we can go out.”

“Sure!” She agreed with a happy tone “Were are we going?”

“On a date.” I gulped. “There is this restourant in Gangtam, it is new, and I thought we should chek it out. I saw reviews on the interned that is pretty good”

“Ok, I am in! Time?”

“7:30 pm. Hmm, how have you been today?” I tried to continue the conversation.

“Pretty good. I had a bit of a ‘spa’ day if you can call it like thay. I just toke a rest and tooke some care of myself and yeah. You?”

I argued with the guy you went to watch a movie with yesterday and punched him in the face so he has a big bruse now and probably hates me too and I don’t know if we can get back thogether not just as co-workers but as friends too so i guess i kinna ruined 8 years of  friendship and basicly my life because I am a gellous prick who questions everything too much

“Nice too.”

“Yoongi, we haven’t went out in a while, so I’m really happy.”

I am happy too. Happy that for the 1st time in while i will actually try to be your boyfriend.

“Yeah is cool.”

She laughed.

“Is getting late Yongs and I would have to have my beuty sleep so I look cute for you tommorow!” Yongs... My old nickname.

“Haha OK. Go to sleep!”

“Night night!”

“Night.”

White noice. The call ended. My heart beat is still unusually faster. It used to be like this when we started dating. ‘’Love it is’ Namjoon used to say. But what is love? My heart migh act like this because of nervous thought, ratter than love. Maybe in a better light happines might be the cause. I used to say that on our 1000th day I would propose to her and we would get married. Our 1000th day was over 500th days ago... Hell I even had choosen a ring. I told myself I was in love and then:

“Mom this is serios, OK? Should I have my honney moon at Geju or Vinece?”

“Yoongi, why would you marry her?”

“What do you mean? I love her!”

“She is just some middle class girl. You on the other hand, you are a celebrithy! You will get rich and richer.”

“Mother, just because I got my 1st win doesnt mean I would become famous celebrithy. Ofcourse I hope I do but that doesn’t matter. Love is love. I lover her and she loves me.”

“She loves you because of your money Yoongi”

“We stated dating when I was broke. Oh, and should I add why? Because of you! Why did you start caring so much about me right now?” And I got it. Because i was ‘getting rich and richer’.

And then I noticed. Everyone was actting nicer to me. And so I used it. Not in a good way...