#they did try to take credit for my evolution tho lol

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

how did you come up with your url?

an old friend said that to me once and it stuck with me

[vaguely-concerned]

X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time 

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable  

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still  

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f  just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it 

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure   

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik 

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)  

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol) 

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol) 

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain  

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you? 

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???) 

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’  

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is 

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)  

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh 

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive 

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES 

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself  

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters 

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh 

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott 

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail 

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster 

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic  

 - ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!! 

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj 

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’ 

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men 

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!  

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha) 

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing 

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)  

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give 

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’ 

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

-          remy                           rogue

                              🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates 

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma 

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww 

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak  

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture 

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence 

baby u r my

 ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it) 

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him  

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what 

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself 

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this 

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day 

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol 

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same 

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess 

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents) 

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau 

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3 

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back 

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha  

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa 

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do 

birds of a feather motherfucker  

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet) 

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u  

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha) 

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay  

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it 

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go” 

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most. 

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.  

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage) 

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s  p r e t t y  solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)     

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)   

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D: 

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!! 

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???  

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way 

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all) 

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts 

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable 

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated 

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol) 

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells  

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(

[360degreesasthecrowflies]

FarscapeWatch 04: 2.03 ‘Taking the Stone’

We’re back in business, people! Apologies for the long wait, but into season 2 we go for this reaction/review! See notes at the bottom for a full list of my FasrcapeWatch reactions so far :D

2.03 Taking The Stone

Open on Chiana (bestfave) IS THIS A CHIANA EPISODE?

No kidding I ship Chiana and John a lot. I feel it's probably unlikely to happen but ohmy they bring out the best in each other.

He calls her "Chi" uwu!

Uh she literally cut herself open because he said he was busy wow. Crichton is a twat.

Ooh she stole Aeryn's ship and Aeryn is PISSED. I love how she and Chiana just don't get on. Drama is the best.

So Chiana goes down to a planet by herself to investigate. Aaand she gets ambushed. Hmm but I'm not sure I buy her not taking a weapon. Altho. She is also impulsive and id-ruled.

AAAH into the episode and John and Aeryn are in THE LONG COATS.

Rygel is also there lol and John and Aeryn give no shits.

Ofc they're going to go look for Chi although Aeryn cannot b a with that.

So they run in thinking Chiana is held captive but actually she's doing some kind of sport test of strength lol. Her hair is pink now and looks A MAZING. Aeryn is so aggressive off the bat lol I love it.

Hm so. First time back seeing John and Aeryn's S2 dynamic and once again...he's not asking things of her, he's giving her commands, and I'm not super comfortable with it. It feels a bit imperialist. e.g. here John feels Chiana is mad at him so he tells Aeryn to talk to her to try and bring her back, even though Chiana has said she doesn't want to go back with them, and Aeryn and Chiana already evidently don't really get on or see eye to eye. That's a bit much from someone who's meant to be the emotionally intelligent core of the crew.

So Rygel has fucked off and left JohnAeryn and Chiana on the planet..which seems like a funeral/cemetery, or at least it is where they’ve landed. Thematic, hm. He's robbed some graves too, as you do.

So Aeryn catches up with Chiana, naturally we’re all underground, hmm, with death as a theme, I wonder if this is going to mirror a death-and-rebirth story, and Chiana asks her to stay! Ah I love how impulsive and nutty she is. Also needy. Possibly actually damaged. This character speaks to me so much. Hah. Aeryn responds a bit like Supernanny just going along with it to let the child wear themself out.

[A note on taking the stone - it’s a jump into a deep pit, using the power of faith/science/a technological trick to save your own life in a parachute before you hit the bottom. The society on this planet do it when they reach a certain age as a coming of age ritual, and Chiana has changed her style to look like them, and is learning to do it too (with the help of mind-altering drugs and mediation, colege much?), either as a test to herself, or as a maybe-suicide/danger/devil-may-care exercise, as she has just lost her brother, that was her realisation that John had no time for in the beginning of the episode.]

So we're on a bit, and hmm. I'm getting a parents and kids vibe with this episode. I genuinely can't tell though who we're supposed to root for. John is central, but is it John-was-right-Father-knows-best, or will it be John-has-to-learn-different-POVs? I'm hoping the latter, but I'm wary, Farscape has pulled the rug out from under me before. Aeryn has argued that if Chiana wishes to stay in this new society, it's her choice; to me, that's reasonable, but is the show framing it as something only an alien woman who doesn't understand how Rational People work would think? Hmm. I wish Zhaan was here, she's a character who generally can overrule John instead of being pushed to the back by him as Aeryn and Chiana sometimes fall into; ironic, of course, as they are physically strong, martial women. Chiana too has brought up her captivity trauma and that John said she could leave at any time and now appears to be reneging on that, and that's portrayed as the sneaky, silly young character trying to trick and twist the words of Our Reasonable Hero. I'm wondering if it's just a values dissonance between '99 and 2017.

Cool plot though. A suicide cult where people get high and risk their lives rather than die at 22, as they do, starting to waste away and rot while still living due to radiation in their natural habitat; perhaps a bit of a drug 101 afterschool special vibe to it, but executed well and with great sets. Interesting to see plots shifting to focus on the three humanoids too, I wonder if this will become a trend this season. D'Argo, Rygel, Pilot and Zhaan really don't have a lot to do this time round, although I guess they all had significant focus in the previous episode while Aeryn and 'Chi' were somewhat neglected.

Ultimately of course Chiana is successful and comes out gaining a new lease on life. John has gained some perspective, though it’s unclear if he actually understood Chiana’s POV or not, and the three stooges up in the ship managed to convince Rygel to give back the treasure he stole. Uh...great, I guess? Solid episode in general though, production values feel to be up, Chiana’s new design and in fact most of them are pretty solid - and throwback, watching in 2017 - and the interplay between the actors and characters seems more fitting than it was in the first season. Ace.

Some general points: John is starting to become a little more convincing as a lead again, among stronger personalities. This was most convincing in 1.16 A Human Reaction and the last four-episode arc of season 1, and at brief points earlier in that season, but it's been very iffy. I'm unsure, because I don't know the writing/writers so well yet, whether that's intentional, or just a sign of the times on writing focus. I don't feel, that is, that the kind of character that John is would be *the* obvious focal character if the show was made from scratch and debuted in 2016-17 - it's a bit as if, say, Agents of Shield had debuted as a show centered around and focused on Fitz rather than how they actually did it. Still, in any case, it's interesting to see the evolution of character.

Some brief points from season 1-2, as this will be my first comeback reaction I'm posting in the new order: A Human Reaction, Durka Returns, and Nerve were my big turning points as to how I was reacting to the series. Introducing Chiana was a big plus; instantly becoming one of my top 2 favourite characters, and immediately coming up with ways to make her central - even at the apparent expense of fan fave and seeded lead woman Aeryn! - was a brave and risky strategy on the part of the showrunners that I was pretty impressed by. Again to analogize to shows I've also seen, it was as if upon first introducing Faith to Buffy season 3, they pushed Willow back from the off in favour of focusing on her and what she could do. She fits neatly into the credits, too, here's hoping she sticks around for a long time.

D'Argo has gone up in my estimations, actually, all the characters have. They'd probably at least average on a 5-6 out of ten now, which is a big step up from the 2-3 D'Argo and Rygel were on earlier in season 1.

Things I don't like as much: the Talyn (sp?) and Crais stuff feels a bit Xena and a bit overdone, though that could be a case of the Seinfeld is Unfunny trope (side note, I actually have never found that show funny tho...awks), that is, aspects of a show seeming unoriginal now because since it aired - or even debuted - such elements, they've become much more common as to seem stereotypical and tired in many forms of media. I don't like the Crais/Aeryn ship teasing, especially in light of the recent Hollywood developments, it seems a little close to the bone and aggressive, one-sided, and presumptive of Crais. Presumably he's going to reform and win me over, but I'm not on team Crais right now. I'm also slightly alarmed at where Zhaan's character arc seems to be going, though unsurprised that she had to be nerfed, she was pretty great at everything in season 1, with even her shades of not quite sanity proving to be an advantage in some situations. Also, I'm unsure if it's intentional or symbolic, but her new costume is hella ugly.

Right, those aside, recap time then!

CHARACTER BEATS

JOHN

Lots of stuff here. For John this episode is a lot about leadership and personal connection. John must learn that one leadership style does not work for all - not that I would even say this John IS the leader, although he's the show's designated lead and does TAKE the lead. I'm not 100% on whether we're meant to root for John or not. This episode sees him acting somewhat parental towards Chiana which I - and she, probably - find a bit patronising given that as far as has been established thus far, they're both adults of a similar age. For me, this episode is John learning socialisation and how people of different kinds tick, as well as that sometimes you just can't win people over or bend them to your will - quite a good lesson to see our white male lead learning.

CHIANA

Lots of stuff in this one for Chiana too, which is good, it is a Chiana episode after all. A few early notes on Chi - easily my favourite character right now, being exactly the kind I root for in general. I love a wildcard, and Chiana thus far has been about the definition of a chaotic neutral, with occasional shades of broken bird thrown in, hinting at a traumatic past to make her become this way. Or she could just not be neurotypical, or just an alien, who knows. Now, I definitely didn't think Chiana wanted to kill herself in this episode as it was hinted at and discussed by some of the characters, she just didn't care, she was a risk-taker and upset and traumatised. It's slight, but there's a difference. Chiana realises in this episode her brother has died and reacts by acting out and essentially going on a bender with drugs, getting high, and essentially changing her whole style and motivations, culminating with a risky athletic feat that could kill her if she failed. Aka, textbook response to trauma by certain extroverted and already risk-taking individuals. It was great to see, and also unexpectedly positive to see Aeryn sticking up for her - of course, just using cold logic, rather than emotions - and Chiana, too, showing willing to make a connection with Aeryn, after generally the two being mutually hostile these last few episodes so far. Great stuff.

ZHAAN

Zhaan's a little quiet on this one, still inside herself a bit, or trolling? She seems more content to let a snarky, bitchy side out this time round - perhaps due to a season of people generally not taking her advice and then winding up in the shit.

D'ARGO

D'Argo really doesn't do much here, slipping back to season 1 characterization a bit. I'll give him a pass, as he's perhaps recuperating from the previous episode's traumatic experiences.

RYGEL

Rygel really doesn't have a lot to do here. Stealing is wrong, and he likes eating bugs. I wonder if this subplot was shoehorned in at a late stage because the actors complained, or something else fell through? On the plus side, it leaves main focus unequivocally on the Chiana storyline.

AERYN

A good storyline for Aeryn too, she gets to be athletic with a mini fight scene, she gets to be the voice of reason, and she also makes a mini connection with Chiana, after a while of the two sniping at each other. She and John also work well as friends, comrades - just as a two, not as part of a larger unit - and maybe something more? This episode has shades of a buddy-cop drama with John and Aeryn as detective partners, as well as hints of them being dysfunctional parents to an acting-out and rebellious kid. Aeryn is moving to be more central in this season, and I'm intrigued to see what comes of that change.

PLOT POINTS AS OF 2.03

A little confusing. Everyone is dealing with their own trauma while still running away from the Peacekeepers, led by new creepy (telepathic?) baddie Scorpius. We've had a D'Argo episode so far and a Chiana episode, so perhaps everyone is up to have solo episodes for a while to get this season established? Not much hint of an overarching plot yet which is nicely lampshaded by Chiana in-episode when she asks Crichton what they're even doing up there on Moya - smooth. This feels a little like a re-pilot, repositioning who the characters are and how they relate to each other.

WHAT THIS EPISODE ADVANCED:

Chiana's trauma. Chiana's character development. Chiana's relationships with John and with Aeryn. Aeryn and John's relationship. Aeryn and John's norms, ethics, and approaches to problem solving differing. John revealing himself to have a reckless side, which seems role reversal from earlier in season 1 wherein John was cautious and reserved and Aeryn cold but quick to use violence and inflicting her will as a quick-fix solution.

CHARACTER RANKING AS OF 2.03:

1) Chiana 2) Aeryn 3) John 4) Zhaan 5) D'Argo 6) Rygel 7) Pilot 8) Crais

And that’s it for this episode of FarscapeWatch! Check back in my Farscape reviews masterlist section on my blog or follow my farscapewatch tag to catch my episode reviews, as they come! Or feel free to give me a follow to catch all of my stuff ;)

Also, if you’re enjoying these, feel free to shoot me a message or comment :3

[andersonunleashed]

I usually don’t get too upset watching @wwe but they took me to a level tonight that has my blood boiling. I’m far from the biggest Bella Twins fan as far as wrestling is concerned (I like them better out of the ring) but I hope Nikki rips R*ndas spine out her ass and feeds it to her. Let’s break this bullshit monologue of hers down.

It all started with the “yes chant,” which I mean come on guys WHO ARE YOU CHANTING FOR!?

Then R*nda screws up her face cause she’s obviously constipated and can’t remember her lines.

R*nda: I tried my best to be respectful.

Well your presence alone is disrespectful but continue.

R*nda: Everything that the divas era stood for made me sick to my stomach.

Hold up, wait a minute! You’ve been here two seconds and you think you changed something? Do you think your showing up magically changed things? Every single girl that has stepped foot in that locker room has worked their ass off to get the womens division where it is today’s from Mae Young to Chyna to Lita to the Bellas to Little Miss Bliss and all the women in between. Even Summer Rae and Eva deserve a shot more than you. I would have been less upset if they said Renee Young was going to be the next champion to not see you’d destroy all the moment you stepped into the arena with your shitty appropriated hairstyle and “tough guy” act. (Seriously, can someone please stop making her look like a stitched up football?) The divas era was about women’s empowerment and trying to get to the main stage to be on top and equal to the men. Without the divas division you’d still be nursing your pride at home after the two second KO—oh are we supposed to pretend that didn’t happen?

R*nda: I try my best to give you the benefit of the doubt that you were just doing the best you could with what you had. And so when you guys came running up to me after wrestlemania—-

I’m gonna stop you right there. They don’t need your benefit of anything. They don’t need your approval. They’ve earned their stripes. You’ve broken two arms and injured at least 3 people and still haven’t actually wrestled in less than a year but somehow are the “champion” it’s you who are a disgrace and it is you who people have tried to give the benefit of the doubt. They literally had NO chances. They MADE their opportunities. These women took and still take risks that will get them fired just to get a shot. You’re right tho they are a disgrace after seriously injuring one person in 12 years compared to your 3 in less than 12 months. As far as then running up to you, you should have seen that coming not just because this is fake but the moment you showed up the girls were trashing your overhyped ass showing up and it was not just the Bellas!

R*nda: I thought how cool are these ladies.

I would just like to point out that you’re sad cause you’re a fan girl and they don’t like you IRL or in the ring. And let’s be real nobody likes a transphobic racist so I don’t blame them.

R*nda: I thought we could be like sister soldiers and persue the same goal that we could be driving forces in the woman’s evolution together.

Sorry, but I need to check my notes. Didn’t you just say, “everything that the divas era stood for made me sick to my stomach.” Now call me crazy but if I hate something you stand for I’m not going to team up with you.

Id like to also note that when Nikki runs her tongue along her teeth like that she’s usually heated and trying not to hit below the jugular which tells me she’s not faking being pissed at this point. She has the shorter temper of the two and scripted or not she’s currently being told everything that she’s been fighting for years by someone who doesn’t deserve to be in the building right now.

R*nda: You guys are the embodiment of a stereotype, DNB.

Bitch, now my wig done flew off my head. You’re gonna tell me that two women who have fought from poverty to where they are now do nothing? First of all, let me direct you to Nikki’s Instagram where you can find just how much of “nothing they do.” And don’t forget everything they do they STILL credit the WWE from their clothing line to their wine collection, they include the WWE. Tell me again, how often do you promote the companies you’ve worked for previously and/or currently. They genuinely love everything about wrestling and show up even if they are told to just sit in the stands and pretend they give a fuck about the trash can that’s taking the spot they and others like them deserve. Let’s get one thing straight, you’re only here as a publicity stunt and as soon ass they can’t make money off of you anymore you’ll be written off or show up less than Lesnar.

R*nda: You weren’t there to support me, you were there cause there was a camera point at me.l and never in my life have I seen such desperation for attention.

That may true it may not be true, but the camera was pointed at them before you were in the ring so it worked didn’t it? But we all know the truth, Vince told them to be there to start the plot line and also promote Total Divas return which is still a hit and Nikki still produces. Unfortunately like RAW you’re ruining that too as we watch the girls being forced to pretend they like you being here. Now if this was pointed only at Nikki then I mean I’d be less annoyed but you’re talking about Brie too. Brie, who would rather be playing with Birdie in her garden than worrying about showing up to something extra just for a camera. Brie, who cried over not breastfeeding because of work. You really think she cares if the cameras stop rolling?

R*nda: blah blah blah minimum amount of talent...

I would like for you to see one of the baddest female power finishers in the business the Rack Attack and Rack Attack 2.0. Bitch, you couldn’t even execute a Samoan drop properly and have yet to prove that you can do anything other than an arm bar (even in mma you barely won with skill).

R*nda: You leached off of the names of your men.

Again with the “yes” chant guys .. who the fuck are you supporting? The bitch who shows up every week to talk or the girls who only ended up with their men through plot lines when they were either both still new or both huge. There was never a big power dynamic with the exception of Cena being a man so he made more money. Also notice both girls wrestled even when their men weren’t on the show either cause of injury or filming. You see they didn’t need a man to get them their jobs. They didn’t need a man to open their doors. They kicked the doors down and then allowed men to join them. They found success in spite of their men. When they were told no, they didn’t accept it and screamed “yes.” (This audience really needs to learn when to chant .. now is the time for the “yes” chant people!)

R*nda: You plagiarize and dilute their move sets.

Now, I know the Bellas aren’t the most intelligent, in fact they probably had to ask Daniel later what you meant. But sincerely from the bottom our hearts R*nda,

DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A MOVESET IS OR IS VINCE FEEDING YOU LINES LIKE HE DID LIO RUSH? Cause let me tell you something bitch, the crowd chants “yes” for Brie more than Daniel. And last I checked Nikki is single and still on top without the help of anyone else.

R*nda: You’re not pioneers, you’re callous. You’re relics of the past waiting to be eviscerated like small pox.

Oh sweetie, they didn’t catch any of that. To be honest, you sound like me when I’m practicing my word of the day on the mornings I remember to learn them. This line should have been eradicated from the script.

(Honestly the best scene in this was Nikki looking confused as fuck when she heard and Brie looking for help from the audience.)

R*nda: (nonsense) I can rip your arms off and beat you with them.

A one trick pony’s gotta do what it’s gotta do. If you think anyone is actually scared of you, you have a rude awakening coming your way.

R*nda: *stutters* stoping me is going to be the referee and everyone knows their not very good at holding me back.

You’re right their fake attempts to “hold you back” are about as good as your tongue is at not getting in the way when you speak each week. (Seriously, is there a compilation somewhere?)

R*nda: But you know, I am much more than a pretty face with a deadly body.

Giiiiiiiiiiirl, you didn’t have to tell us those aren’t your best attributes. And don’t get me wrong, you’re not hideous until you open your mouth and release all that hate speech you like to throw out. Your attitude makes you look like the troll in HP: The Sorceres Stone.

R*nda: I will ruin you. Regardless of how much money is poured into marketing you.

None, the answer is none. The only woman who’s getting marketing money is you. You’d know that if you’d been here thought this entire revolution. And not just the tale end of it. Bitch, do you not see that they aren’t even spending money to market Evolution?

R*nda: I will make the name Bella into a four letter word—

BITCH!!!! I REWOUND THAT FOUR TIMES!

R*nda: blah blah blah societal sore (🙄) blah blah ..

Brie: honestly I’m so distracted by the yes chants AGAIN that I have no clue what she said and can’t be bothered to go back because I’m in BIAS MODE (lol I crack myself up, that was punny). Is R*nda gonna cry?

I did catch Brie reinforce that she’s only talking about R*ndas career here .. Brie, you’re a heel. Heels don’t say nice things sandwiched into mean things. You just stop at career. She doesn’t get credit from you for past things, cause you’re a heel babygirl.

Nikki spits some truth even to those of you who hate her. Honestly, like her or not they did the damn thing and opened doors. Let’s not discredit their work.

R*nda: My entire career I been knocking down doors. (Names irrelevant companies) here at the WWE..

Nobody said you didn’t, just that you haven’t in the WWE. And because Brie is so nice (😒) she has already reminded you that we aren’t discrediting your entire career. But imma stop you right there bitch you’ve done NOTHING for the WWE.

R*nda: The only door you ever knocked down was the door to John Cenas bedroom .. and he eventually threw you out of that exact same door.

Sit down girls, let mama fix this.

First off bitch, you better buckle the fuck up for this truth I’m about to shit down your throat. You have the audacity to discredit a six year relationship AND slut shame right before a WOMANS EVOLUTION. Sit the fuck back and think about what you just did. Let’s set aside the fact that I wanna take you to the back yardso you can choose your switch for a moment. You claim to be the face of the evolution and yet you stand up here and degrade a woman below the belt ON TELEVISION about her PERSONAL life. Let’s say she did fake the relationship. Wtf does that have to do with the price of tea in China? Don’t sit up here with a holier than thou attitude only to try and make a woman insecure about herself and her relationship.

“Oh but it’s just for show.” NO THE FUCK IT ISN’T. SLUT SHAMING IS NOT EVER JUST FOR SHOW.

“But the twins started it,” SHOW ME WHERE AND I’LL TELL THEM OFF TOO! don’t come at me with some heel turn bullshit either.

“But Nikki broke up with John,” FACT BUT IT DOESN’T MAKE THE HEARTBREAK LESS! And honestly that’s a whole other diatribe for me.

“But they ran away,” they got laid a lot of money to runaway and hold off on beating her ass.

There is never an acceptable time for women to talk to other women like R*nda did tonight but adding that it’s so close to Evolution and with all the shit already has so many of us ready to walk away, this was disgusting. I didn’t actually care who won the championship cause I want Bliss to come back and have a real fight for it win or lose but now...Fuck you R*nda, I hope Nikki destroys you and you never come back to the ring.

Let’s just take a second to say, FUCK YOU @wwe for making me side with Corey douchebag Graves.

[jelenasymphony]

The Sleepover (1/2)- Jelena One Shot

Special shoutout to @letheavensin​ @jaysel​ and @jayselunconditionallove​ for always encouraging me to write <3

All of this came to my head one night after all that “Jailey” drama, and of course as a Jelena shipper, it got me. Took a really long while for me to finish it (almost a year lol) but here it is, the longest one shot I ever wrote. Thanks for reading :) xox

Word Count: 1734. 

Justin’s POV:

It was wednesday morning, and usually it’s such a boring day for me, but not this time.

Selena was coming to my place to hang out since we were trying to be friends. I mean, yeah, Hailey and I were something and i’m trying to move on but I still want Selena on my life, I don’t want to lose her after having lots of history together.

Hailey was spending some time traveling with her family, she hasn’t see them in a while since she spends most of her time hanging out with me, but anyways I won’t be alone with Selena, Alfredo will be joining us because he also wants to catch up with her. It would be awkward if Hails were here with us and also if it’s only the two of us with Sel, things never ended up well that way.

I decided to wake up earlier than the usual just to clean up the whole house, even if I don’t have anything to explain to Selena, I don’t want her coming over to see Hails’ stuff all over the floor or to find her shoes up the stairs. Hailey and I were too lazy to clean up everytime she comes over, just picking up the floor the things that were on our way or washing glasses just to drink some wine. I know Selena likes being on a clean place and of course, I can remember her coming over years ago and turning our “Netflix and Chill” session into a special ocassion for her to show me how to properly clean my kitchen or how to remove stains from a carpet, and I wasn’t going to risk our dinner because of my messy living room this time.

I spend almost three hours picking everything up, washing the dishes, taking out the trash and stuff until I was so tired I wanted to take a nap, but I couldn’t until I took a shower and decided what to wear in the afternoon. I know it’s very extreme for just a dinner but I wanted to give a good impression to Selena, all dressed up and clean, almost as I wanted to prove so hard that I was happy with Hailey, which was true, but would it be too forced to look like she changed me for good? I feel good by Hails’ side, but she doesn’t has the credit for my evolution as a person.

I tried to shake these thoughts out of my mind, because yes, I am happy with Hailey but I haven’t changed, I still being that guy who is lovesick for Selena and she was the one that kept me clean and humble, thing that Hailey doesn’t do that much, and as hard as I try not to compare Hailey to Selena, her ghost is always there in the back of my mind when I get into a relationship with someone new and it seems like it will always be there. 

Lost again in my thoughts, I hear the door bell ringing so I run down the stairs, only a few steps away from the door when it suddenly opened.

-Did you missed me? -Alfredo’s silhouette shows up in front of me while I try to fight against the disappointment over him not being Selena, although I knew she wouldn’t come up till 5pm. Fredo stares at me while he puts back on the pocket of his jeans the keys to my house- why you look so dissapointed of seeing your best friend?.

-I just thought she came up earlier -the disappointment in my voice is clear, but I don’t really care since is Fredo who I’m talking to, he knows me so damn well when it’s comes to Selena, he was always there third-wheeling and being our therapist after every fight or rupture, and tonight wouldn’t be different.

-You look so stressed bro, just calm down, it’s just her -he put his backpack down on the kitchen countertop pulling out some beers, rolling his eyes to emphasize the ‘just her’. But I couldn’t calm the fuck down, it wasn’t just ‘her’ to me.- By the way, put some pants on, she just called me to tell me she is on her way and I don’t really think your outfit is the proper one to start a friendship.

I look down at my pants to find I was wearing just boxers; I was so stressed with the ghosts of my relationship with Selena I totally forgot to shower, so I go back upstairs to get dressed and ready. 

It all took me half an hour -the adventure of searching for the right clothes- but I finally went downstairs, and got frozen when I could hear her laugh coming from the kitchen.

Selena’s POV:

The laughter that comes from my throat after Fredo tells me which is now probably my favorite joke ever vanishes when I finally see Justin, whom, according to Alfredo, was being a nightmare when he arrived -he told me Justin spent a big time cleaning everything up despite having a maid and that he really seemed nervous at the thought of us trying to be friends, which, to be honest, gave me relief of not being the only one nervous as hell here. 

I hate myself for the butterflies I instantly feel fluttering in my stomach the moment I see him enter the kitchen, dressed with light-blue jeans, a big black t-shirt and his favourite pair of black Adidas, his long messy blonde hair creating the aspect of bangs falling down his face, a simple look that God-knows-why looks just so good on him. I was the most persistent when it came to both of us moving on, yet there I was wanting to jump into his arms, inhaling his strong and oh-so-familiar male cologne, and never let him go, even when he was already being happy with Hailey. 

I was happy for him being happy, and all I ever want is to see him smile, so I’m not really lying to myself when it is about his happiness, but I couldn’t express the same when it came to him in a relationship. All I could see was him replacing me with someone new, doing all the things we used to do together -dates, trips, inside jokes, even the way we used to take pictures of each other. I truly know I shouldn’t lurk in their social media, but I found myself several times staring at their pictures on Instagram with the excuse of checking if he was okay and if he looked happy next to her -and the answer always seemed to be yes.

Realizing I've probably been disconnected from real life for a while now, I feel my cheeks blushing at the sight of Justin staring at me, knowing that Fredo's eyes are on my back watching every move I make tonight. -Hi Justin -the words come from my mouth weaker than I expected, and I feel the need for the earth to swallow me and make me vanish from there as I clear my throat, pretending I don’t feel a thing for the 21 year old guy standing right in front of me. -Hi Sel -he approaches to where I’m sitting in the large breakfast bar and stares at the hand i graciously pull in front of him, trying to be funny and give him a handshake, which he accepts but surprises me throwing me into a big hug, and I try hard not to smile against his chest, even tho I’m feeling like a little girl whom just got the most amazing birthday gift ever.- We're going to be friends that hug each other, okay? -he says graciously as he laughs and I get lost, feeling my heart ache at the smile he gives me. Gosh, how I miss being the reason of that smile. I nod laughing as I try to get the blood on my cheeks go away, and I hear Alfredo’s voice claiming it was a good start, leaving in clear evidence that the both of us were nervous as fuck about seeing each other again, plus me pretending that I wasn’t still in love with those honey eyes that just brought me so many memories to my mind and a knot of desperate feelings to my chest.

We spend the next four hours in the living room talking about life, we talk about our little siblings, our future projects in the industry and our families -and I can't help but feel a familiar kind of happiness bubbling over in me when Justin tells me he keeps in touch with Pattie, something we used to argue about when we were together; I never liked to know that he was able to turn his back on the woman who gave everything for him, so knowing that our arguments had worked to make him realize that he should spend time with his mother makes me feel that, somehow, I am still part of his life. Alfredo's voice becomes less heard as the conversation progresses, letting Justin and I enjoy each others company and catching up with those situations which we, although we don't say it, needed each other to know. Even tho I know this moment was gonna come, Justin finally names a situation where Hailey is involved, and I can't help but feel my heart crush when he happily tells me about a trip he made with his new girlfriend and I realize, not even after seeing hundred of articles about them on the news, I'm nowhere close to ready to hear his anecdotes about how funny was that time they went on a date on the beach and ended up looking like breaded chicken for rolling each other in the sand too much, while the only thing I could think of was about how much I loved and held close to my heart our dates on the beach.

Realizing I can't pretend anymore, no matter how strong I want to seem, I take the chance when Fredo asks him something about his trip to apologize and go to the bathroom, leaving the both of them talking as much as they want about how much Justin loves replacing me, taking Hailey to the same dates he took me.