#they didn’t

[bixels]

They banned me from the aquarium for this.

[thedurvin]

Thanks to the upcoming holiday season, my biology-enthusiast wife, and a phone call to our local hopefully-ethical vulture culture shop Rest In Pieces, I have a new one of those Sentences Nobody Has Ever Said Before

“Hi, do you still have the cassowary cloaca?”

[winter-angst]

Brock, injured: you’re acting commander now, this is your chance to shine

Jack: ah, yes, like the time my parents bought me a fish to prove I was ready for a dog

Brock: I didn’t know you had a dog growing up

Jack: I didn’t

Jack: turns out I wasn’t as responsible as I thought I was

Brock:

Jack: but making major decisions for a lethal task force is easy as pie in comparison

Jack: though I do sometimes think about that poor fish

Brock: oh dear god, we’re all gonna die

[thecatsaesthetics]

Going on about how “roasted venison” is tricky to cook and that somehow means Nesta and Elain did something in the cottage (despite the text saying the opposite) is on the same level as people complaining that the Bridgerton costumes are inaccurate.

You sound ridiculous.

[spideyhexx]

god I saw mgm posted about billy and it gave me heart attack thinking they were gonna announce the rest of the season

[ninjago-x-lmk]

A thought came into my mind…

What if the First Spinjitzu Master was Gay?

[crownedpatriot11]

Went on a date with a Ukrainian girl and joked how our ancestors fought on the same side of the war.

[onceiblinked]

I'm a brutal and realistic angst writer. You thought the main couple would end up together? Nah, bro, it might not feel like it be we can have a good ending regardless of who ends up with who. It might even be healthier

[yugiohz]

s4 of chihayafuru will have taichi turn into an incel

[swugflower]

I’ve very much grown out of my Rammstein phase but the song Haifisch still hits so different.

“Und der Haifisch der hat Tränen und die laufen vom Gesicht, doch der Haifisch lebt im Wasser so die Tränen sieht man nicht“ [And the shark has tears and they are running down his face but the shark is living in the water, so you don’t see the tears]

BRUH! My heart! DAMN

“In der Tiefe ist einsam und so manche Zähre fließt, und so kommt es, dass das Wasser salzig ist.“ [Its lonely deep down and some tears are running, and that’s why the water in the seas are salty]

Every time I hear this line it’s cutting open my chest and reaching directly for my heart

[lifblogs]

Hmm… writers really don’t know when they write rape, do they?

[dovesick]

endless night

[stuckinapril]

Wanted to bring attention to the fact that Bisan called for mass protests today (April 1st). It’s okay if you can’t march yourself, but please make it a point to spread this so that those who can march do so—and also take this as your own checkpoint to ask yourself if you’ve been faltering in terms of sharing information about Palestine, doing what you can to fund humanitarian aid in Palestine, and staying informed as to the ongoing genocide in Palestine. Some might say it has been 6 months of this, but to me that’s all the more reason to make noise now more than ever. This is one of very few spaces on the Internet where Palestine has not been abandoned in people’s endless efforts to dehumanize Arabs. Please continue amplifying the dialogue surrounding this genocide. Free Palestine. Free Palestins always.

[goldensunset]

advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love

[starbuck]

i say i like tragedies and everyone’s all like ‘why do you like sad stories? are you depressed?’ and never ‘how was the catharsis? was the catharsis fun?’