#they have problems getting me and idk why
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PAR FOR LOVE



pairing ; quinn hughes x fem!reader 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
summary: you don’t really know much about golf but you know quinn looks good doing it — so you spend the day by his side, decorating his golf balls with sharpies and calling every shot a hole in one. he plays, you giggle — and suddenly, golf doesn’t seem so boring anymore
word count: 1.6k !
a/n: i think finding pictures for my fics stresses me out more than writing them it’s a problem i almsot killed myself oh also idk anything about golf pls spare me i had to keep asking my brother in law what things meant. do u know how embarrassing that is.

you wake up to the feeling of quinn’s hand on your waist, warm and lazy, fingers moving in slow circles over the fabric of the hoodie you fell asleep in — his, of course.
the sun’s barely up yet, early morning light slipping through the edges of the blinds and painting soft shadows across the comforter.
you hum a little, eyes still closed, face buried in your pillow, and you hear him laugh, quiet and raspy.
“morning,” he says, brushing your hair back from your face.
“mhm,” you mumble, not even close to coherent.
“baby,” he says, grinning now. “c’mon. wake up for me.”
you peek one eye open, squinting at him. “what time is it?”
“not that early.”
you groan, dramatic and heavy, and roll onto your back. he’s already dressed in soft athletic shorts and a white tee, his hair still a little messy, damp around the edges like he just got out of the shower. he leans down and kisses your cheek, then your jaw, then just under your ear, and you sigh despite yourself.
“what do you want,” you mutter.
“i want you to come golfing with me.”
you stare at him. “you want me to what.”
“come with me,” he says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “i have a tee time in an hour. you can ride in the cart, bring your little drinks, do your thing. you don’t have to play.”
“you want me to wake up this early to sit in a cart while you hit a ball around for four hours?”
“yes,” he says, already kissing your neck again. “please. come. i want you there.”
“why?”
“because i love you,” he says, like it’s obvious. “and because you’re cute and funny and make everything more fun. and because i look really hot when i golf and you should get to witness that.”
you laugh, already giving in, already weak for him. “you’re so dumb.”
“you love it.”
you do. so you sigh again, more for dramatic flair than anything, and pull the covers off. “fine. but you owe me one million iced coffees.”
“deal.”
you’re in the passenger seat of his car twenty-five minutes later, your legs tucked under you and your tote bag in your lap — sharpies spilling out of it, alongside your sunglasses, your lip balm, your sunscreen, and an emergency granola bar you packed just in case.
you’re wearing a pink sweater and a pair of white athletic shorts, your face bare and clean, the morning sun pouring through the windshield and catching on the strands of hair you barely remembered to tuck behind your ears.
quinn’s got one hand on the wheel and the other resting on your thigh, squeezing gently every now and then just to feel you there.
“i don’t understand golf,” you say as he turns into the parking lot of the course.
“i know.”
“and i will not be learning today.”
“also fine.”
“i’m just here to be annoying.”
he glances over at you and smiles. “you’re here to be cute. and distracting. and mine.”
you stick your tongue out at him, but your chest feels soft.
he carries his own clubs because you said, very seriously, that you would not be lugging around anything heavy. he didn’t argue. you find the cart, slide into the driver’s seat, and immediately stretch your legs up onto the dashboard. the sun’s warmer now, a little gold around the edges, and you open your bag to pull out the first few golf balls you stole from his stash this morning when he wasn’t looking.
they’re plain. white. boring. and you’re about to change that.
“what are you doing?” he asks, glancing back at you as he pulls a club from his bag.
“decorating.”
he laughs. “of course you are.”
you uncap your pink sharpie and begin drawing a flower, carefully dotting petals around the center, tongue pressed to the corner of your mouth. the first ball gets daisies — pink and yellow, clustered in a little bunch. the second, cherries. bright red, shiny, twin stems. and the third, grapes, drawn carefully in layered rows with a little green vine curling off the side.
quinn lines up his first shot while you work, and you don’t look up until you hear the faint thwack of the ball being hit.
“hole in one!” you call automatically.
he turns and squints at you. “it landed in the rough.”
you shrug. “still hot.”
he grins, already walking back toward you. “you’re ridiculous.”
“you love it.”
“i love you.”
he climbs into the passenger seat and reaches over to grab your water bottle, then pauses, blinking down at the ball you just set aside.
“is that—are those grapes?”
“they are,” you say, proud. “each one is a different shade of purple.”
he picks it up like it’s fragile. “you’re unreal.”
“you’re lucky i didn’t bring glitter glue.”
“please don’t bring glitter glue to the golf course.”
“you’re boring.”
you order a strawberry slush from the cart girl the first time she comes around and get a beer and two waters for quinn. one for now, one for later, because he will forget.
“you keeping me alive?” he asks as you hand him the second water without even looking.
“someone has to.”
“you’re too good to me.”
“you bribed me with coffee.”
he kisses your cheek anyway.
by the time he’s lining up for his third hole, you’ve already finished another ball — this one with a little grassy patch drawn across the surface and a crooked red flag poking up like a tiny cartoon version of the green.
he looks at it when you hand it over and lets out a quiet laugh. “did you draw me my own golf hole?”
“yes,” you say. “this one’s called ball going home.”
“you’re my favorite person.”
the course is big and open and quiet, and the sunlight is perfect. not too hot. just enough to warm the tops of your thighs where they rest against the seat, just enough to make the water taste better when it’s cold. quinn plays. you decorate. you sip your slush. he brings the club back. you say, “sounds like a hole in one to me,” every single time he hits the ball, no matter where it goes.
“you know that’s not how this works, right?”
“i’m manifesting, quinn.”
“you’re just saying it to flirt with me.”
“that too.”
you take turns driving the cart. you only almost crash once. he kisses your shoulder while you’re parked under the shade of a tree. you draw a smiley face on one of the balls. then a rainbow. then a sort of abstract swirl you claim is “modernist.”
“you should sell these,” he says, stretching his arms behind his head. “people would buy them.”
“yeah, and then immediately lose them in the woods.”
“like i’m about to?”
“exactly.”
you pop the cap off your red sharpie and start on the final one you’ve been saving. quinn’s watching you from the corner of his eye as you write it, slowly, carefully, the shape of each letter thick and curved and a little uneven.
i ❤️ my gf
when you’re done, you hold it up with both hands and say, “this one’s your last ball.”
he blinks. smiles. takes it so gently from your hand like he’s worried he’ll smudge it.
“this one’s getting retired,” he says.
“you have to use it.” you frown.
“i can’t lose this.”
“you’re not going to,” you say, bumping your knee against his. “she’s the luckiest of all.”
“because she has you?”
“obviously.”
he turns it over in his fingers, then pockets it for later.
by the time he’s on the last hole, your slush is long gone, your thighs are a little sun-kissed, your fingers are stained pink and purple from the sharpies, and your legs are tangled over quinn’s lap while he steers the cart slowly down the last fairway.
he kisses your ankle when he thinks you’re not paying attention. you hum like you didn’t notice, and then lean over and kiss the side of his neck in return.
the breeze is cooler now. the sky is starting to shift, a little softer, the late afternoon creeping in slow and golden.
he pulls the i ❤️ my gf ball from his pocket and doesn’t say anything when he tees up. you pull out your phone and hit record, framing the shot from behind. he swings. hits. and the ball glides cleanly, rolling to a perfect stop just inches from the flag.
you gasp.
“no way.”
quinn turns back, eyes wide.
“she is lucky!” you shriek, jumping down from the cart. “that was literally the best one all day.”
he meets you halfway. you throw your arms around his neck, and he wraps his around your waist, spinning you once, twice. your hair’s tangled and messy and your cheeks are flushed and you’re laughing so hard you can barely catch your breath.
“you did it!” you say. “that was so a hole in one.”
“it’s two strokes.”
“close enough!”
he kisses you with that same laugh still on his mouth — soft and messy and sweet. you kiss him back, your arms snug around his shoulders, fingers twisted in the collar of his tee, the sound of the cart buzzing faintly behind you and the breeze shaking through the trees above.
you press your nose to his and whisper, “told you she was lucky.”
he shakes his head.
“no,” he says, voice low and fond and full. “i’m the lucky one.”
and he kisses you again. and again. and again.
and maybe, just maybe you do like golf.

#quinn hughes#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes fluff#nhl x reader#nhl fanfiction#nhl blurb#nhl fic#nhl imagine
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Sorry for adding unsolicited advice, but one of the most valuable things I've learned as a writer is how to push over this kind of block! So I'm gonna share a few strategies that have helped me, and might help other people too!
Strategy one: skip over it.
Literally don't write a transition. Just skip to the next interesting scene. Promise yourself you'll go back and write a smooth transition later. A shocking amount of the time when I come back to edit I find that I don't even need more of a transition at all. Sometimes, your brain is so stuck in the story that it doesn't want to leave any negative space, but the negative space of a new scene, a new chapter, or a new paragraph is what the story craves.
Strategy two: just describe it.
Don't try to write it nicely, prettily, or well. Write like you're making an instruction manual, or notes for an actor in a screenplay. Write "and then they walked into the room." Write "and the conversation was over." Write "the next day, [blank] happened." Again, a shocking amount of the time for me, writing it in plain language turns out to be what the story needed. And if it does need more detail, you can always add that detail later! It is so much easier to add frills once you've got the bedrock of a scene in place.
Strategy three: just dialogue.
Idk how often this happens to other people, but I often get tripped up trying to juggle dialogue, actions, body language, and internal monologue when writing. When that happens, I switch to writing just the dialogue in short exchanges, no dialogue tags or description, with only paragraph breaks and punctuation to structure it. This both frees me up from the paralysis of trying to write everything at once, and has the added benefit of really honing in on character voices. I love to try to give all my major characters a distinctive enough voice that you can work out who's talking by the cadence of their speech, even without dialogue tags.
Strategy four: outline it.
This is sort of an expanded version of strategy two. If you're really struggling, or if this transition is something you know is going to take a whole scene or a whole chapter and more than just a line or two of description, pause to write out the events in a short, descriptive, beat-by-beat way. "They talked. They argued. No one listened to each other. They all went to bed frustrated." Sometimes this beat-by-beat plotting will transform into something you can really use--fragments of dialogue, a solid description, a realization that you can restructure so an important piece of information doesn't actually have to go here--but if not you still have a workable framework to either propel you into the next scene or start building up into a meatier bit of prose.
Strategy five: just do it.
Putting this strategy at the end because while I think it’s a lot of writers' first instincts when coming up to a roadblock, I also think the inability to force ourselves through the boring miserable bits of writing and "just do it" is a major reason why projects get abandoned. Sometimes, you might find yourself in a position where you really do just have to write your way out of the problem you've made for yourself. In those cases, I think it’s a good idea to take a deep breath, be generous with yourself, and applaud yourself for showing up, even if you're only writing a sentence or two every day. Writing is hard! Even professionals have bad days. You don't have to burn yourself out putting words on a page. Take the pressure to perform off yourself, and just write what you can. Eventually you'll get past it, and the words will flow again.
writing is so funny because i could write nonstop for 9hrs and then hit a block where im like "how do i transition between this moment and the next?" and then i just dont touch it for 6 months
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People are always on about “which Beast is most likely to be redeemed” and while I DO enjoy this subject of debate I do NOT enjoy that people seem to mean it as “who is the least evil”. That is NOT what determines their chances at redemption. It’s a lot more nuanced than that.
Like you’ll see a lot of people saying Shadow Milk or Eternal Sugar are most likely to be redeemed. And I would agree! BECAUSE THERE ARE COOKIES ACTIVELY REACHING OUT TO HELP THEM. It has nothing to do with their motivations or personalities being More Pure than Mystic Flour or Burning Spice. It’s just that those two don’t have anyone trying to help them. NONE of the Beasts would change without outside influence, SM and ES are just lucky to have someone who wants to help.
Yapping about my thoughts on it now!
I would put Eternal Sugar as most redeemable, since she as I mentioned Has someone who wants to help her, and what puts her above Shadow Milk is that she ACTUALLY seems interested in perhaps accepting this offer! There’s a lot of evidence to suggest that Eternal Sugar would be willing to change for Hollyberry, it will be difficult and there’s still the “I don’t want to accept that I’ve been wrong” thing, but she shows more signs of being willing to TRY accepting a redemption arc than Shadow Milk.
Shadow Milk is STILL next most redeemable simply because he’s lucky to have been paired with Pure Vanilla. He rejected him of course, but I think Pure Vanilla will still have the offer open. I don’t really see any reason for Shadow Milk to want to change, but hey, maybe he will realize that he’s still really freaking lonely or whatever LOL. Point is, he’s up here cuz he got the Compassionate one.
Burning Spice I’ll hesitantly rank next. It would be tough because as he says, the only form of Change he welcomes is Destruction. ALL of the Beasts are very firm in their beliefs which makes redemption tough for ALL of them, and Burning Spice is no different. HOWEVER, I think if you could GENUINELY convince him that there’s a better way to live, he would take it in a heartbeat. The problem really lies in the fact that he’s given up and doesn’t see the point in anything but Destruction. I bet he would love to be able to truly enjoy anything else.
Mystic Flour least redeemable just PROVES that it’s not based on morals for me lol. She wants to save cookiekind so you’d THINK she’d be an easy one, and maybe she would be! This is all my speculation! But like Dark Cacao is probably the LEAST likely to extend a hand and try redeeming a Beast. He literally said “I don’t care about your tragic backstory you’re killing people” which like based tbh but still very much Not Interested In Redeeming Her. I also feel like she is, LIKE ALL BEASTS, very firm in her beliefs. If you could genuinely convince her that there’s a better way to help cookies, then maybe! Even in that regard I put her below Burning Spice because we know that despite her thing being Apathy she is sort of fueled by spite (FAIR TBH). Idk if I truly believed that chances of a successful redemption were based on things like intentions like everyone else seems to, I’d maybe put Mystic Flour at the top, but in my opinion everything else is working against her.
No Silent Salt yet
In truth, I feel it is very much a “all of them get redeemed or none of them get redeemed” thing. I am a firm believer that people who think redemption arcs are stupid ARE BORING. I think the Beasts SHOULD get redeemed but that’s just my opinion haha. The only other option is a tragic death imo. A tragic death would be really cool and thematic but also seems cheap to me. Idk I never understood why ppl don’t like redemption arcs, as long as they aren’t poorly done they’re literally the best way to explore a character’s full potential. But whatevs to each their own. Anyways I could also see just one being redeemed/not redeemed (mostly just one being not redeemed). Tbh feel like it would be Shadow Milk contrary to my list LOL. Just like thematically. Would be really tragic for Pure Vanilla.
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#crk#crk beasts#shadow milk cookie#eternal sugar cookie#burning spice cookie#mystic flour cookie
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Pick a pile!!
pile one pile two



pile three
Who's your future spouse???
Hi!! Here i am after a long time bc a lot happened (again) but i returned with your pac!!🙂↕️💗
Pile one
my dear pile one, your future spouse is someone who's very vulnerable at the moment. they're always alert when something shifts in their gaze and have an extreme awareness of what's going on around them. they're really gracious and move with elegance, they might be really gracile in appearance (idk why i picked up this), so gracile to seem like they might break with a caress. they have a type of beauty that's sophisticated and really really elegant, I'm picking something high class actually, maybe in the way they dress, they have some sort of unique style. i see a lot of white, pearls, rose gold... very artist style and nature!!
btw, even if they seem to be really balanced on the outside, their mind is restless. they are often the one that's hyper aware of their surroundings, sometimes even borderline hyper vigilant too, and they might get anxious really easily, making for them hard to enjoy their life, especially when it comes to enjoy the life they cultivated and curated themselves!!! they constantly should be reminded to go back to the present moment, their mind races too fast and when out of balance their body might suffer too bc of their minds.
they change a lot of focus in their life, they constantly need new challenges and they might get bored really easily if they feel blocked. i think that's one of the other reasons why they feel always restless, it's not just a "omg what should i do with my life", to them it's actually a need to be always working on something different, they need a lot of emotional and mental stimulation to keep up with they're day, and when they have that, they're really overworking themselves. this lifestyle can be really interesting for a while in relationships, but still, since they're easily bored, they might not stay for so long in a relationship, but this just until they'll meet the one that can mentally stimulate them a lot.
also, if they don't have clear goals, they really might get lost in the current tho but i see them to be really such an achiever and hard worker, i think that they might change a lot after meeting you, working on their lifestyle more and to meet your personal needs. however, just know that they're very indecisive and easily distracted, something very adhd with a mix of anxiety coded.
they might travel a lot and have a very frenetic lifestyle, but still, they love art and yoga. they're a little bit of an all rounded🙂↕️
Archetypes: fish and gazelle with a little bit of bee🌟
Pile two
Pile two, your future spouse is such a rigid thinker, it gives me hierophant vibes. they might be really tied to rigid structures and tend to judge ppl a lot when out of balance, however, they're not the one giving orders but the one following them, and they're really good at it. i think it's more a moral thing to do for them, i see this person on top of something in their life, i think it's something religious, and they might be really strict with following the "right" rules. i don't think it's something typical tho, they might actually be pagan or hindu, maybe buddhist, I'm really sure it's not tied to abrahamic religions tho and, if they're not religious, they have an high moral compass that they follow very strictly.
they might be some hot head and tend to isolate themselves when angry, they really need some solo time to regenerate and to not stay angry all along, maybe to not to burst in anger on you. i think it's really a big problem but i see also that they know about it and that's why they might often be found in nature, trying to reconnect to themselves. they don't want to hurt anyone, they're really self conscious.
i think they might be a really old soul, that's why it's hard for them to find someone that could understand them. their love life hasn't been so good honestly, i see a lot of betrayal but they rose from it. their energy is really healing, they might come off as weird but it's really a pleasure to have them next to you.
they might be a poet or writer too and they really love to explore new things, but not in the pile one way tho, they need it for curiosity and from a place of knowledge, not for keeping their mind busy or to feel stimulated. they might also be really expressive and sensual in their ways, but never vulgar, they just incarnate a very sensual and expressive energy. i feel like they might be blocked into showing and accepting that kind of energy tho bc of their internal rules, i think you might help them s lot under this point of view.
Archetypes: fire ants, sea serpent and turtle 🐢
Pile three
this person is the real father archetype, I'm not saying it's a male, but it has really strong masculine and stable vibes within themselves, that's why I'm referring to them this way.
this person is a real provider and gives stability to their loved ones, both physically and in a materialistic way of thinking. they're also fully established in themselves and knows their core values, they have a strong moral and follows it a lot in every choice they make. they're well known and respected thanks to their way of acting in ways to uphold their values but sometimes their ego can become a little bit too much. however they're really good parents and i really think they might love to have a family.
their focus and determination are unmatched and they can achieve l, with charm and grace, everything they put their mind on but sometimes they have the problem that they often take their inner gifts for granted, that's why sometimes they can get really shy or doubtful, this might get them to withdrawing or hiding and protecting their deepest desires. they're really patient and private about what they love. they share their inner self only with who they trust the most.
they're really kind, supportive, generous and true to themselves in their core but still, sometimes, their shadow part wins and they might get really pretentious. they might struggle with some addictions, I'm getting alcohol especially, maybe to escape their control issues (yes, they have a lot of control issues). some other things about them, it's that they're very observant, stealth and precise in their words and actions and do not waste any energies or resources to who doesn't deserve that.
they're also very self transformative and very good at it, dedicating their whole life to both personal and spiritual growth. put these traits up with everything i already said about their traits, they both inspires and intimidates others, but still very respected.
i see them as a very peaceful kind of person and very strong both mentally and physically. sometimes they might be also way too serious or withdrawn, that's why they really need to be surrounded by other ppl.
Archetypes: Elk, oyster and lion 🦁
Heyyy, this is my first pac!!! i used a different deck for this so that i could catch the essence and not their backstory this time lolll, I'll do that for another pac if you liked it🙂↕️💗 also, sorry if it's just 3 piles but i still have to learn a lot!!! i hope you enjoyed this reading!!!
#tarot#tarot reading#tarot spread#tarot readings#free readings#tarot requests#tarot cards#tarot love reading#love reading#tarot reader#future spouse#tarot pac#pac reading#pick a pile#pick a card#pick a card reading
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at first i was like “oh, i wish the short showed Blitz and Loona interacting more,” but the more i think about it, the more i feel like them *not* interacting informs us about their relationship. they had all this time while Mr. Wrigglers was saying goodbye to everyone, but Loona is on her phone and Blitz is just sitting around bored. Blitz really *wants* to hang out with her, and he spends a lot of his daily life around her, but he seemingly still has no idea how to actually *engage*.
and this is a problem in all of Blitz’s relationships—he doesn’t feel secure enough to just ask people to spend time with him, so he either makes everything sexual (which he obviously wouldn’t do with Loona) or he focuses on what he can give them (money for their jobs, driving them places, cooking them food, protecting them from harm, etc). he’s gotten better about focusing less on sex as he becomes a bit more secure in his friendships w/ Stolas, M&M, and Fizz, but he still really relies on that other coping mechanism of “here let me do these things for you and in return you won’t leave when i talk about horses for an hour”.
so in a case like this, where he IS just trying to reach out to Loona (which is a lot more vulnerable for him than i think he’d admit) and the plans change in any way, he falters. he’s completely stuck on his original idea for the day and he can’t get out of that mindset enough to listen to what she wants here.
it’s not that i think he doesn’t notice other people’s interests or wants or needs—he definitely does, at least when he’s not clouded by jealousy or other emotions—i think he just does not know how to have a conversation that isn’t focused on himself. and i don’t mean that in an asshole way, i mean it in a “ADHD kid who never learned how to communicate” way. that’s why his relationship with Moxxie works in some ways, because Moxxie and Blitz are both people who will just talk about their interests without prompting (and yes this is a very neurodivergent type of friendship lol). and with Millie he can talk about their shared interests, or just play games, because him and Millie are both more physical people. and with Stolas, Blitz can be the center of attention and Stolas *prefers* it that way. but with Loona being closed off, he just doesn’t really know how to reach her?
he also tends to be really invasive with his friends (again, he’s getting better at it, but still), but he really tries to give her privacy. at least, we’ve never seen him go into her room or ask what she’s doing on her phone. which is a VERY good thing that probably allows her to feel way more comfortable around him. but it doesn’t give him a lot to work with, and i don’t think he realizes that he could just ask her questions about her interests, or would even know where to start (honestly, idk if i would either, that’s a hard thing to do when someone isn’t giving you much to work with).
and all this doesn’t mean Blitz and Loona’s relationship is “bad” or that they don’t love each other. in fact, I think Loona being comfortable with just existing in the same space as Blitz, rolling her eyes at his antics, finding him kind of annoying and embarrassing but trusting that he’ll always be there and relying on him—that’s all pretty typical “teenager with her father” behavior, and despite being an adult, Loona is still working through a lot of teenage experiences. she might have seen Mr. Wrigglers as an idealized dream father figure, but even he couldn’t live up to that standard in the end. her relationship with Blitz reminds me a lot more of how i was with my parents when i was younger, tbh.
but for all the criticism people tend to give to Stolas and Via’s relationship… there’s actually a decent amount of evidence that, when Via isn’t mad at him, those two are better at just hanging out with each other? Stolas obviously misses the mark sometimes as she gets older, but every picture of them from the past shows them both grinning and clearly actively engaging with each other. he focuses on interests they have in common (like telling her about space, or giving her a guitar to further her interest in music), and Via is a lot more receptive to that (which i’m sure is partially because she grew up around those things).
i’m curious to see if Stolas being more quiet and patient will allow Loona to open up more. the short makes it clear she *wants* to open up at this point, and that’s definitely because of the time and effort Blitz has put in over the past 5 years. but after being unsafe for so long and then closed off for even longer, i don’t think she knows *how* to open up, or when is appropriate (because showing your demon form to a random human was a pretty impulsive and unwise decision. again, a rather teenage one). i think it would be cool to see how as much as Blitz can teach Stolas about reaching out to Via, Stolas might be able to teach Blitz some things about connecting with Loona as well.
#helluva boss#i keep saying this short is just a silly one and it’s not that deep but ive probably analyzed it more than any other short lmao#this feels like a mess of a ramble but whatever its my blog i can post what i want
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https://x.com/flirtaeguk/status/1940030517199712340
weren't these the exact same moments jokers were celebrating during enlistment live ? THEE EXACT SAME MOMENTS DUBBED AS HOW JK IS CLINGY TO JIMIN POST MS ?
same tummy touch, same holding hand, same neck rubs ?
Im not even a taekooker because ik if it was any member sitting near him JK would've done same thing. But jokers should get a hard reality check thinking JK is treating jm special when he does exact same thing with all members and JM being so sweet to JK isnt exclusive either, he was same sweet to all his younger ones in military. That's just how he treats his donsangs.
"not a taekooker" links me posts from an anti/tkkr ... Yeah, OKAY lmao

"weren't jokers" go fight with them then? Idk why you people always try to make a "why are XYZ saying" a me problem. Come quote me if you want to fight with me. Jeez.
Anywayyyyy, I'll be back when we get a really good subbed ver and gifs of that live because what we should be doing, what I HAVE been doing since I woke up this morning is crying over my OT7 and seeing Yoongi again officially for the first time. God my life feels complete and even losers like anon can't bring me down. Just enjoy the cuddles anon, no matter who is doing the cuddling 😘
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Jax definitely had a falling out with ragatha and Zooble and idk what it is but I do feel like Pomni is going to have a dispute with him. (This is not hate to jax btw)
Jax is definitely a little bit of an asshole but other than Gangle he clearly knows these mfs really well, ig he just likes to mess with people as effectively as possible but whatever.
He also wanted Ragatha to crash out btw idk why anybody got anything else from that scene he was clearly amused and messes with her all the time for that purpose. He was playing in her face that entire episode.
Also btw Gangle didn't say that she thought ragatha was a bad/fake person. Jax also did not say that. They both said that her positivity is hard to take seriously because she acts overly cheerful everyday . It's like Pomni when she 1st arrived, they are kinda annoyed in a way idk.
She isn't evil because of that. Neither of them said she was being malicious. There is a huge difference between what she's doing and manipulative behavior . It's not exactly the best behavior tho don't get me wrong.
Also, Jax is chronically online and a big ol nerd . He doesn't like slice of life anime bcs it's boring and "embarrassing" which implies that he watches other genres of anime. He also made a reference to breaking bad and to me when someone can make references like that it means they are a nerd through and through. He also acts in a very theatrical way. Like all the time, he speaks acts and moves in a very over the top fashion
And to Segway into my next point, he knows way too much about Zooble being gay + the less negative stereotypes of it(the batista and tattoo artist combo)
Jax is ALWAYS clocking Zoobles tea about them being gay, and idk maybe it's just the fact that Zooble is they/them (if their not please tell me bcs im actually getting confused about that) but it's so weird that he has so managed accurate jokes locked and loaded😭😭
"And Zooble turns straight." A funny ass joke but why does he know that Zooble is gay in the 1st place😭
Zooble only expressed disliking their body to Caine, and it is a reoccurring issue, but Gangle and ragatha don't seem like they know anything about it. So it's not like Jax knows it's because of that😭
He also says " Wait You're giving away parts now" and like idk it just seems as if he really gaf in that moment chat😭 like I swear he clearly has some kind of messed up affection for them both.
Also I would like to articulate that Zoobles problem with Jax is more about how he is as a person, but whatever tf is going on with ragatha is some deep shit. Cause Zooble stays on his NECK all the time. But ragatha is..... yoh honestly their dynamic gives me stress
Ragatha might have a uncomfortable and complicated relationship with him but Zooble certainly does NOT 😭 they don't gaf 💀
Zooble is like the only person who seems to be viewing jax from a very objective standpoint, so I have a feeling that if Pomni spends time with Zooble in the next episode she might not like Jax as much .
Zooble is actually the only person Pomni has had basically no interactions with so it's a possibility that the next episode is going to either be about Ragatha or Zooble and Pomni. Honestly I want another Zooble episode bcs they're cool as hell
It also could be an episode where we learn more about jax / his relationship with the others bcs so far the only episode Jax wasn't a main character in was episode 3 so he's clearly important.
Overall at this point I'm just wary of jax but really interested in him. He is definitely a complicated dude
#i just like yapping#idk if this makes sense#jax is pretty interesting#tadc zooble#tadc ragatha#tadc jax#tadc pomni#tadc gangle#the amazing digital circus ragatha#the amazing digital circus#the amazing digital circus jax#the amazing digital circus zooble#zooble supremacy#jax supremacy#fuck it atp everyone supremacy#love this show
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𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲: 𝗵𝗶𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀 / 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 (???) — MAIN PINNED
✾ ─── 𝘵𝘸. 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘙𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵
Hi everyoneeee I’m sorry in advance for all the typos in this messy lil rant … I’m not read proofing this lol
I don’t know what’s up with me but I suddenly got a huge chunk of guilt and shame thrown at me when I looked at my fanficion, more specifically my posts containing smut. — I’ve never been the one to be very religious and I have no idea where this came from??? So it was really random but it just gave me the urge to remove everything and start over.
At first I was telling myself that I’d remove the smut posts and I’d continue with fluff/angst fics but then remembered about the fact that people can still see my posts from the reblogs and that just rlly sank in and added more to my shame .. like .. it’s done I can’t remove it completely even if I wanted to . I feel like I’ve sinned and I’ll continue sinning each time someone comes across the posts
Now like I’m scared to stay on here because I’ll get reminded about the fanfics I made in the past each time someone likes it from a reblog and I just know I can’t handle remembering about it I just want to forget it completely
I don’t wanna take a break off of the app either because I know it wouldn’t change anything, id be stressed the entire time off the app and then when I’m come back, those posts are still there so like nothing rlly happend???
And I know this is my fault and this is js me dealing with the consequences of my actions and I’m not blaming or asking anyone to delete their reblog of my ffs I’m aware this is all a me problem concerning my life stuff wtv BUT IT STILL KILLS ME IDK I know I shouldn’t have done this but I Gen never felt such guilt after « sinning »?? It’s like I never really cared about this stuff and I don’t know where this came from but it’s gen ruining my mental health so bad to the point I feel disgusted even trying to write anything close to smut again . I feel unpure and dirty in a way I can’t explain it and the problem is I don’t feel this way when reading it, only when I make it and idk man 😭😭😭 recently I’ve been having so many things go wrong in my life and I feel like this just added on top of it even tho writing was what usually made me forever about my problems
At the same time, I know I’m really attached to this account and my followers. It’s my very first account where I started writing so it means a lot to me.:: I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but I just haven’t been able to bring myself to delete it EVEN THOUGH I’d probably flop without it since most of my followers are here for the smut more than the fluff or angst. I feel like removing the smut might kind of ruin the whole vibe of the account. I’m also too scared to leave tumblr forever or to remake an account and flop even worse or to not regain my current moots on it (I know I’m too scared to tell everyone « oh hi this is my new acc » blah blah) and I’m so embarrassed of this post so I’m not tagging anyone either
I have no idea what I’m talking about anymore. Sorry if this was so so messy. I’m too embarrassed to look over at whatever I just wrote and fix anything . All in all Im so confused on what to do and that’s leading me to possibly quitting my account for good even though I know that doesn’t change the fact my posts will still be available here (I js wanna forget abt it) . This is why all my posts have been removed and if I stay, i won’t be making smut anymore or even keep my reblogs available bcz I’m took scared of becoming bipolar about posting then wanting to delete and not being able to fully delete it from the app
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I LOVE the idea of a reader who enjoys drawing, painting, crocheting (and other types of art) while listening to the ramblings of their husband, Pantalone. Idk but the idea of doing any kind of art/craft while having the Regrator sleeping on your lap is really cute to me.
Pantalone has always been supportive of your creative pursuits, even encouraging you and somehow giving you sparks of inspiration at times. It's funny yet sweet, a man with as much wealth as him finding so much interest in the things you make. Pantalone loves to ask questions, and then inquire as to how you'll finish it, then kiss your tired hands (providing the best hand-care, by the way), and then knows when to be quiet when he notices you're really focused (despite him wanting to yap, he still enjoys the expression on your face, he finds intensity on focusing on one's goals attractive).
And naturally, lying on your lap (as long as it does not hinder your craft) is the perfect way for the Regrator to observe both in action. (The only problem is that he has a tendency to move his hands around when he's worked up, but in these cases, he tries to keep them down.)
"So? And then what did he do?" You couldn't help but indulge your husband, asking the questions he wanted to hear. It was always adorable how the seemingly calm and composed banker could get so miffed.
"He decides to take the funds and allocate them to another project that I did not approve! I do not understand why he must always be so difficult!" You hummed in agreement.
"And then what? Did you take them back?" But the topic of his grievances had eventually turned into something nicer, which then turned into more of his theories. It was impossible to get bored listening to Pantalone. By then, even he had gotten tired. And yet, despite you urging him to move somewhere more comfortable, he would rather stay snuggled into your lap and fall asleep there (braving the risk of neck pain, as you are too warm to leave). At least when he wakes up, he'll have a new storm of questions and compliments once he sees your progress.
#smooches talks#pantalone love notes <3#so real anon he would support reader so bad#ik he would be so fascinated.....#he's gonna get so much kisses in nod krai
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Hey y'all, do you have any experience with the Visible app and arm band thing? I've been using the app for a month or so, and I think it's helping a little, but I don't have the arm band yet and I'm not sure how big a difference that will make. I think I probably should be tracking my heart rate, but I cannot overstate how much I get rings and bracelets caught on things, especially during flareups. Like getting beltloops caught on door handles but even more so, so I think maybe the arm band will be better for me?
#the person behind the yarn#I think having texts to my phone to say hey. sit down.#would maybe help#because at least this week that's been one of my main problems#not realizing my heart rate is shooting up until it's in the Bad Symptoms Zone#which for me is like. 160s standing still#I meant there is also the moderate symptoms zone (120-140s) but I keep missing when I'm in that zone???#idk why I am not noticing anymore but I am not anticipating getting sensitivity to that back soon#because I was off my meds for two months (because my doc said I didn't have the thing the meds were prescribed for)#not getting into details but last time I had one of these symptoms it took me like a year and a half to get back to baseline#I don't anticipate it taking that long this time because A. I have meds for it and B. I know to eat more salt#but uh. I do anticipate that while I will be feeling waaaay better than I have been in the last two months by like next week#I probably won't be back to what had been my normal for a few months#(last time this happened was the very first time I got sick twelve years ago)
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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I know it’s a semi popular belief that Padmé dated before Anakin but I’d say the interpretation comes from the illusion that she’s had more freedom than Anakin growing up and less restrictions, but that’s not really accurate. Padmé might have been more fortunate than Anakin but she had as many restrictions on herself as he did as a Jedi. She was the kind of person that didn’t have any time to waste and bypassed anything she deemed unnecessary in favour of pursuing her career. This same Padmé wouldn’t have entangled herself with people if she wasn’t serious about them, so the idea of her having passing fancies and short term relationships doesn’t really add up with the way her character is built. She’s a well known dutiful person who always prioritized her career over her desires. And this is leaving out the part that nobody ever made her desire them before Anakin as well, hence why she was super occupied thinking about her duties and responsibilities instead of dreaming of her happily ever after. That dream only became reality when Anakin came back into her life, and we already know that nobody was good enough to catch her eye before him.
Anakin was the first and only man that made her break her protocols to marry him because he was the only man that made her fall in love and reaffirm herself as person who could live, love and laugh a little. And even with Anakin, Padmé attempted to deny his love and their relationship for quite awhile. Saying this same Padmé who’s super strict and oriented about her reputation and career would get herself into a relationship for someone she’s not super serious about or want a family with? It just doesn’t make sense. Plus the fact that Padmé wanting a family doesn't mean she's the type to try out different relationships till she meets “the one", that's quite the opposite of her personality. 1.) because as I mentioned above, she didn’t have time to waste on passing fancies and frankly didn’t care cause no one intrigued her and 2.) because of her passion for her duty and lack of interest in anyone around trying to woo her. Sola in the AOTC novel literally had to force Padmé to think about having a family because she's so focused on career and Padmé tells her that she's satisfied that way despite that she does desire more to her life than what she had at that point, and she only completely changes her mind until she met Anakin again. This was the whole point of Padmé feeling lonely before marrying Anakin, it is indicative of the fact that Padmé only cared for her responsibilities and obligations because she didn’t feel that connection with anyone that she felt with Anakin.
Excerpt from Queen’s Hope:

#star wars#padmé amidala#anakin skywalker#anidala#pro anidala#anakin x padmé#anakin and padmé#skyberrie#sw novels#star wars: queen’s hope#star wars: attack of the clones novelization#*in the link*#made this post because i feel like people are okay with saying anakin was a virgin when he married padmé (which he def was)#but they get uncomfortable when someone points out it’s the same for padmé??#like it’s a problem if she’s a virgin herself as if that takes away from her character or experience as a fully established woman??#or that it’s not girlboss enough to be a virgin???#idk#sometimes it feels like they want padmé to be the experienced one while anakin is a inexperienced vulnerable virgin???#what kind of logic is that??#like do y’all see that as some sort of power imbalance and secretly dig it??#like one thing should be clear that both anakin and padmé were demi for one another#she was anakinsexual just as much he was padmésexual#like don’t get me wrong i’m not saying that her not being a virgin takes away from anidala’s love#i hate the obsession with female virgin purity too#but like it’s also not wrong if padmé is one???#(which she canonically is)#idk why people talk about it like it’s wrong if she doesn’t have experience and her first and last was anakin#people have this weird obsession with headcanoning that anakin had no lovers before padmé (which again is true)#but hate to see proof that it’s the same for padmé lmao#don’t know what to tell you 🤷🏾♀️
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On a semi related note the more I am subjected to Microsoft products the more I become convinced that the reason so many people these days believe themselves to be “bad with computers” is that the programs they are forced to use in their professional life are utterly incomprehensible to ANY rational human being and they are (rightfully enough) extrapolating out that this is just how computers are. They aren't!!! In their quest to remove all the “scary” details from their poor fragile end users Microsoft have created an ecosystem that behaves completely erratically and unpredictably and is by definition unknowable. Things just happen. Then they stop happening. Nothing ever announces why or how. Just a thousand vague and useless popups that may or may not be there tomorrow. I PROMISE computers are actually extremely simple and logical beasts.
#brain.txt#the biggest barrier to widespread linux adoption is the fear of learning something new and i get it i really do#when youre at zero knowledge and dont even know where to begin its completely overwhelming and so much easier to stick with what you know#but the problem is no one ever really knows windows#youre sharing your room with a wild animal#you believe you know its mannerisms well enough to know when it is hungry and what it likes and dislikes but one day it might lash out#and there will be no way of ever knowing why#with open source software the only barrier to knowledge is how far you want your own curiosity to carry you at present#and yeah! ill readily admit!! theres plenty of components of my system i dont know too much about right now#but i feel inherently less lost and helpless knowing that the information is out there and i am actually capable of reading it#instead of someone actively obfuscating all possible attempts at understanding and also constantly changing everything from under me#(i have never owned a mac in my life so idk whats going on over there but my general impression seems to be that mac at least gets the whole#walled garden thing right in the sense that it is a cohesive and functional experience despite being extremely locked in. which i have more#respect for as a solution i am not interested in but i can see the appeal of rather than the FUCKING DISASTER microsoft has unleashed)
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before i go do smth else like smth i think abt often but was thinking abt a few hrs ago in particular is how the circus easily tricks the audience into thinking the circus would be Better Than Real Life. when i think from literally almost any angle you examine it its just as bad (if not worse, depending on your own problems)
i think theres like so many problems its hard to even list them all. some of it is personal taste things. cus i think a lot of people think itd be fun because they enjoy specific aesthetic choices in the circus, or bc of other interest related things. but like. what about people who HATE bright colors. what about people who dont like the idea of not being human. what about people who dont enjoy things like roleplaying. some aspects of the circus are only even appealing to specific tastes in things, making one of the few 'draws' of it not really even being a universal thing
and thats the superficial stuff. because more importantly, if you dont like the real world (for whatever reason), the circus may provide a temporary solution to that, because its so far removed from reality. but i think the circus is way smaller than people realize. theres definitely always going to be things to see since caine can always make things, but its just as limited if not more than the real world, because while the world grows and changes, genuinely new things are created and discovered and stuff. caine will never really get to see that, let alone recreate it for the players- and even then, it still isnt actually that thing. that doesnt even factor in that caine is already operating on limited knowledge of the real world. its not clear how detailed he can get on things, since the accuracy can vary (spudsys being so accurate to the real world, vs the dinner in ep 1 being so flat and lacking almost any detail), but theres a good chance that anything he makes is going to be limited to, at the most, a CONCEPT from the real world, if theres nothing in the real world you like, thats still all youll get, just in a different way.and if you DO like things from the real world, youll never get to truly reexperience it (even if caine remakes it, youll know its not the real thing, and it wont be 100% how you remember it, either)
then theres the safety/pain/horror aspect to what caine makes. i think because there hasnt been gore or anything its easy to assume the circus is still tame, and that anything bad that happens cant be TOO bad. but this is NOT true at all. the teaser of the show establishes that even when caine is not going for horror, he still hurts the players. theres things thatd be physically horrifying to a person like getting possessed, theres physical pain (i see it debated but i think its clear that even if they were to experience less pain, they still DO experience pain, but thats a different topic) or extreme discomfort, theres psychological torment (the exit doors are genuinely very cruel even if that wasnt caines goal, what ep 4 did to jax and gangle. kinger getting taunted in ep 3, etc). its all survivable but even if you like them caine isnt trustworthy enough in this way to never do smth horrific to a person, or cause it through his actions
then theres the complete lack of autonomy, which imo is one of the most frightening things about the circus. bc unless your tastes are always aligning with the exciting, completely family friendly existence of the circus, and you never deviate even a little, you are going to be barred from any semblance of it. its best illustrated in how pomni HATES being touched but caines always prodding her and moving her places and stuff, and in how zooble is denied the option to opt out of adventures even when they state they want to directly by episode 4 implying the choice to even have time to yourself is deeply conditional (plus, the whole lack of an exit entirely meaning that even if you liked the circus, the lack of option to leave would still affect a person. youre getting locked in a big room for the rest of time and youll never get to leave). and also this post
and THEN you factor in the social aspect. because regardless of how you prefer socializing if at all, the circus is a nightmare. if you dont like people, thats great! you dont NEED to be anyones friend! except that you are going to be forced to interact with them eventually, and when you do its going to be repeated. its not gonna be once. and once caine notices hes going to bother you about it. forever
alternatively, if you DO like social interactions in any way, no matter what, if its not you, youre going to see others abstract. you are going to inevitably watch those you care abt struggle and eventually get stuck in a state that Seems Extremely Horrifying To Experience forever. its long and drawn out and itd suck and it wouldnt happen once
then is the easy to forget fact that if you have psychological problems they can and WILL follow you to the circus. gangle and zooble are the biggest examples of this. the circus didnt get rid of their problems, they just gave it a new, horrifying inevitable consequence. i sometimes fall victim to looking at the circus and assuming that ohhh i wouldnt have this problem! because i wont have to deal w it getting set off! but like... yeah i would. i wouldnt stop having this or that in the circus id just have to deal w it while ALSO going on adventures
theres many things. you cant truly eat you cant die you dont get to decide anything when you do die it seems terrifying to experience and youll be stuck in some level of that forever and anything you enjoy is not with you and anything you dont enjoy will follow you too to some degree and the list goes on and on
all this said i dont think any of this is an indicator that the characters lives are meaningless or smth just because it sucks. theres a reason gooseworx has said that the takeaway from the show should be that theres meaning to be found in a stagnant life. theres still meaning in their existence and i dont think its as hopeless as it may seem- but i think its still BAD. and tbh the idea that its worse only HELPS that theme of the show!!! i dont think itd hit as hard as a theme if the circus DIDNT suck
#tadc#being stuck w a person like jax is its own problem i think its easy to think youd be an exception to his actions#but it feels very unlikely#the man is a canonical 4chan user. he is going to be mean to you unless youre willing to physically harm others with him too#BUT! yeah#idk how well i worded this ive been struggling to type it for a minute bc im high#but its like... idk the circus is very horrifying to me and i dont think a lot of the themes plot pts characters or character arcs#would land nearly as well if the circus wasnt as bad as it is#it highlights very well written aspects of the characters that wouldnt feel as notable if the circus was fine#like for example without an understanding of how terrible it is. why pomni wants to leave so bad can get muddled#anyway i just think abt this a lot the teaser is certainly not canon in its events#but it still highlights how terrifying caines actions can get for the players#theres a reason even kinger who has a very healthy (as far as i can tell) mindset abt it all still struggles immensely#i fall for sometimes thinking the circus might be nice to be in but the thing is once i think abt it anymore im like#ohhhh god thats horrifying i dont want that#sorry if any of this doesnt make sense. ill reread it later but for now i wanna go do literally anything else#but type long drawn out sentences and paragraphs in a cohesive way#ask to tag#OH ALSO. smth i think abt a lot is the idea that the circus can and will infantilize you. which would be miserable. but i dont have it in m#rn to elaborate further on that pt but its part of a bigger thing in the show that#feelss intentional and potent. maybe ill talk abt it later#circus discussion
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Based on my favorite gif lately
#my art stuff#digital art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#batstarion#once again specifying this is a spawn astarion with some sort of wild shape thing#bat#good morning#gif#I’ve been in such a weird place mentally about art lately#I just keep stopping myself from drawing things cus I want to draw Astarion -#- but fsr my brain decided I draw him wrong and thus makes it pointless to even start#bat form is fine - I have no problems with it. But in his normal form? no can do buckaroo.#It’s one part why I haven’t shared much art lately - I don’t get happy enough about the “quality”#then just don’t share it as a result - in turn making me feel worse because I’m not posting - making me doubt myself more - etc etc#idk man - I got way too giddy earlier today cus someone could tell this was Astarion - even though this isn’t even the version of him I -#- feel insecure about#I keep seeing these artists making more realistic art and cool comics and interactions - most of which are shaded really beautifully -#- and all I can think about is how I CAN’T do that - even if it wouldn’t fuck me up mentally#I just put too much stress on my ability to create realism and I keep “failing” at doing that (by actively avoiding it for my own health)#idk man - I just wish I felt better about Astarion’s stupid chin OTL
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right now i'm very torn between "taking critique is important as an artist and it's not an attack on me personally" and "people commenting about my same face syndrome under my posts upsets me an unreasonable amount and i wish they would stop doing it"
#ramble#sorry i am not having a good art day today#i'm TRYING i promise#this is 100% a me problem and i hate it#i think it's because when i have a Problem with my art. i need to fix it INSTANTLY#and that's not how art improvement works#idk why it gets to me so much i can't explain it#even if it's polite and means well it makes me feel weird and i don't know why#maybe because i thought i was way better about it than i used to be but right now i'm getting it way more#yes i know posting art means you have to take people's opinions#but how do i say 'please do not leave lengthy critique under my art that i make for fun when i didn't ask for it' w/o sounding like an ass#i just feel like. i would never go to a fic and point out all the writing mistakes in the comments if the author didn't ask for it. idk#i'm fighting really hard not to yell 'IT'S MY ART STYLE' bc that's not an excuse obvs
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