#they have this AMAZING nose that ive been jealous of my whole life

[romeoandromeo]

.

[thithesandofferings]

“Open Wide”- Ogami Shirou x Reader

TW: 18+ MINORS DNI!! Dom!Shirou/Sub!FemReader, Comeplay, Choking, Voice Kink, Rough Sex, Praise Kink, Degradation, lil bit Size Kink SMUT!!

This is bad .

“Look at you Alan, I thought you said Purebloods didnt get Nirvalys Syndrome? Let me put in into you, before you lose your mind”

Who says stuff like that to the enemy? Ive never seen Shiro this angry before. Especially to say words like that. He barely speaks at all most days. Only when he absolutely has to. This should surprise me or- or stress me out but-

It's so hot.

Link to my Ao3 for this fic= https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414948

This is bad .

“Look at you Alan, I thought you said Purebloods didnt get Nirvalys Syndrome? Let me put it into you, before you lose your mind”

Who says stuff like that to the enemy? Ive never seen Shirou this angry before. Especially to say words such as that. He barely speaks at all most days. Only when he has to. This should surprise me or- or stress me out but-

It's so hot.

“Hey you! Look alive we gotta go!” Michiru yelled, startling me out of a downward spiral.

She was right. I had to get out of there before the place was destroyed to shreds. I could barely think. All I could think about was Shirou splitting that evil bastard's mouth open and putting his power inside it.

I couldnt help but feel jealous.

His wolf had such a presence on its own, how could I not be affected.

I needed to get it together, there were still people that needed to be saved. I shook my head and ran after Michiru towards Shirou. She was chattering excitedly, but I honestly couldnt understand anything she was saying. My eyes were on him.

He must’ve caught something in my gaze because he turned his attention to me.

“You okay?” His voice was gruff from exertion and I had to take a calming breath from the shiver that coursed down my spine. He caught that too.

“I should be asking you that Shirou” I looked away, but with a sideways glance I grumbled that he was, in fact, amazing. He raised his nose a notch, almost an afterthought,  and I could see him take a deep breath.

With his penetrating gaze solely on mine, I could feel my pulse jump and my temperature rack up a thousand degrees, I had to look away. He scoffed, almost smugly, and slid attention back to Michiru, who was still talking and running around. Something about having Shirou howl to the town.

We watched as he changed into his silver wolf form again to howl into the microphone. It was a beautiful site to see. Seeing all the animals completely stop what they were doing just to howl with him. Alan had no idea what he had been talking about.

Shirou had the Howl.

Michiro and I could only watch in awe. We were born human turned animals so we didnt have the innate instinct to go along with him. It was such an eye-opening experience, so much so that I felt a little empty at not being able to do it. Shirou looked so regal, the urge to fall on my knees in front of him was an encompassing feeling.

Shaking violently at the thought, I had to blow out a long soul-suffering sigh. Michiru glanced with eyebrows in an “are you okay” motion and I could only just nod.

What is going on with me? Where are my thoughts?

I had hoped that thoughts of Shirou would leave. The attention was of us and finally life was, in all intensive purposes, back to normal. Michiru was able to hang out with her fellow friends, and I- was able to start my work in the office.

Except, I could get nothing done.

Shirou was constantly in my peripheral, working on whatever case was in that week. But when he wasnt there, he was in my mind whispering in his growling voice about the things he could do to me.

I was dying.

There would be times where I would stare at a research book, never turning the page, just staring. It was becoming so hectic that Shirou asked if I needed time off.

“I know its been hard for everyone” Shirou had said. He had been in that leather jacket again. Who wears gloves inside? Why was it so hot?

Its not fair.

“What's not fair?” I looked up from his gloved hands and I could feel my heart rate sky rocket in panic.

I said that out loud.

His gaze is so piercing, it felt like he was staring into my soul. He was leaning on my door frame, completely relaxed. His usual bored expression was placed with something that was almost- teasing? Not that couldnt be right.

But it had been the same expression and mood for weeks now. His casual bumps and grins were so much that Ive had to actively avoid him before I had a heart attack. I wasnt in control of my emotions half the time, so any sort of embarrassment would make me change into my animal form. Even through his cold demeanor, it still seemed like he was laughing at me. I'm sure he could tell that I was flustered, especially when he turned into his wolf form. It always made my blood pressure go up and something slick slide down my thighs.

Which is what was happening now.

Oh no.

I prayed that he wouldnt notice anything amiss, but the world wasnt on my side. He lifted his nose up again and sniffed. It was as if he was trying to find someone miles away, but when he finally looked towards me, his pupils were wide open. Alert.

“You never answered my question.”

There was a hitch in my breath at that tone. That growl that Ive been dreaming about for weeks.

I’m so fucked.

“I-i uhm… sorry what?” I could feel myself blinking rapidly. I couldn’t get my thoughts in order. This was getting ridiculous.

“You humans are very odd,” Shirou rose up from the door, and for a moment I felt relief only to freeze when he closed my door.

With him still inside. We’re alone.

“You even more so.”

He walked slowly towards my desk. Well more like prowled. There was intent in his walk.

I’ve never felt more like prey than right now.

“I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me” He’s whispering now. His gloved fingers gently spread out to the edge of my desk and he leans over it.

He’s so close.

“I smell you all day. Its intoxicating.” One hand lifts up and brushes my cheek, I know he can feel the heat.

“You’re the first human that I have ever wanted”

I froze.

Hes been feeling the same? From his expression and the dropping of at least two octaves, it was definitely confirmed.

“I- uh I want you too” My voice was hoarse from emotion. He could hear it just fine it seemed because if his pupils werent blown out before, they sure were now.

Shirou visibly licked his lips and I couldn’t help but follow the motion. He watched me watch him and he grinned, showing his fangs in satisfaction.

“Good because I plan to devour you. Stand up”

I could barely hear the order due to his growling. His ravenous expression was drowning me. I was swimming in heat and desire.

“I wont ask again”

Shirous’ voice snapped me back into reality and with shaky sweaty palms I pushed my chair away and stood. He never told me to move so I just stayed there. He seemed very pleased that I didn’t move.

Not like I could, I was barely able to breathe.

He stalked slowly around my desk until he was behind me, moving the chair completely across the room. It crashed into a plant and I jumped, still not moving an inch.

I could feel his breath across my nape and goosebumps coursed down my skin. I could feel him smelling my hair, breathing in the sweat that I felt that I was pouring out. I tried to move away, embarrassed, but I could feel his grip tighten and him growl at my into my neck.

“Stay still” He whispered. “You can be a good girl and do that for me right?”

I froze at the pet name. I’ve never heard him call me anything other than my last name. I couldn’t believe how it affected at me. I could feel myself become even more drenched.

He could tell.

“Oh? You like that huh?”

I felt his leathered hands slide slowly underneath my shirt and palm my breast. I gasped, my head falling on his shoulder at the groping. This was getting intense fast. I heard something tearing and tried to glance down only to have one of his hands press lightly at my neck. Holding me still.

Shirou shushed me, keeping his hand curled around my throat. Murmuring something about not needing this or that, I felt fabric fall at my feet and my chest became covered in hot leather. I let out a choked moan, only to have his grip tightened.

“You’re gonna have to be a quiet pup, you don't want all your colleagues to know what you're doing right?” He was so mocking, I couldnt help but feel flustered with how demeaning he sounded.

I nodded knowing I couldnt say anything in this position.

“Thats right, good girl, now go on bend over the desk” He slipped his hands away and disorientation readily slid back into my head.

I laid over my desk, paper be damned, and wrapped my hands over the edge to hold on. I heard him growl in confirmation at the act and I preened at the act of pleasing him.

I’ve never felt this way. I was completely ok with him taking the reigns. I didnt have many braincells left, I could barely think. All I could do was just do.

Shirou hands caressed my ass in appreciation, his ungloved hand (when had that happened?) made a purposeful track up to my waistband, hastily taking them off. I was completely soaked and hearing him swear obscenities definitely didnt help.

“I can’t wait to knot you, pup” I felt his weight against me, his bare chest completely covering my whole body. He was so warm, degrees hotter than his normal, his breath hot on my cheek as he licked my face from chin to forehead.

“The real question is,” he says through licks down my spine. “Which form do I want to take you hm?” I shivered violently at the thought of Shirou taking me in my wolf form. Outside of Anima city it is forbidden to have any of those kind of thoughts. But you couldnt help that you constantly thought about Shirou fucking you in his wolf form.

I could hear his deep chuckle at my spine. He knew my answer.

I felt him nose my wetness and my breath hitches. It didnt last for more than 5 seconds and I could hear myself grown out against the desk.

“I would love to taste you, but unfortunately we dont have that kind of time.” There was a zipping noise and I tensed, gushing even more at the thought of what it could be.

“I would need hours to be satisfied from your taste” He is suddenly in my ear. “But I plan to fuck you like you need it.”

I could hear myself mewling at the thought. I’ve been wanting this for weeks. I cant believe someone like Shirou even wants to touch me. Shirou, cool-mannered and distant, wants to fuck me five ways to Sunday is honeslty an eye opening experience.

There is a clicking sound and I gasped. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didnt feel the fingers. I could feel myself clenching around and my mewling became even louder. Colleagues be damned.

There was an surprised hum from behind me.

“You’ve been touching yourself?” All I could do was nod embarrassed. He cooed sweetly and added 3 fingers inside of me.

“What were you thinking about? Were you thinking of me? Tell me” I gasped in affirmations. I couldnt take it anymore. I needed inside of me now.

I felt like I was going to die.

“P-please Shiro, I need it.”

“You need what pup?” He grinned savagely and I felt something hard and hot against me.

I wiggled in frustration. Only to have him laugh and hold my hips still. Using his strength to make me stay still.

I was going to have bruises.

“Please fuck me Shirou” I whispered into my shoulder. I knew he could hear me. I felt my chest tighten at the gasp and growl.

“Good girl.” I shivered and gasped as he pushed the head in with a savage force of his hips.

“I wont hold back pup” He laid his furry chest against my back “You might be ruined for any one else.”

“I dont want you to Shirou, give me your all”

A growl was heard and then the most intense feeling of my life was radiating through my whole body.

He thrusted so hard that I could hear the desk screeching. The other colleagues, if they were still there, would definitely hear it. I prayed that they weren’t gonna check to see if I was okay. I wouldnt be able to speak anyways. I’m pretty much holding on dear life on the desk. There was no way I was able to explain anything.

Shirou didn’t seem to care either. The constant growling and heavy breathing that was coming from him was telling.

“Youre so tight, I cant believe all of me fit inside of you” He groaned and all I could do was tighten around him, which made him go even faster. There was a crack from the desk, but I ignored it. All I could concentrate on was the heat and his cock bruising my insides.

“Mine mine mine MINE” He stopped abruptly and pulled out. Only to pick me up effortlessly and turn me around, my back hitting the desk.

He entered me again and with that the world was crashing around me. I’d never come so fast in my life. Watching him in his wolf form growl over me as he pounded me into the afterlife, I wasnt gonna last long.

Seemed like he wasnt either, his thrust got more savage and I got louder. He took his right hand and placed it at my throat again to cut off the noise.

“Be quiet while I shove my knot inside you, I need to concentrate” It made me fall again, shivering while he grinded his knot inside me. He came with a roar, tightening his hands on my throat, cutting off my sound.

“Shhhh, good girl, you did so good” He whispered praises to me while he continued to grind himself inside me. He lifted his hand and I gasped dazed.

He looked up at me and caught my disheveled appearance and grinned.

“Dont move, I’m not done.”

I returned the grin.

“Good Shirou, cause neither am I”

[minminnie-shii]

may I request an imagine of verivery dates: where each member would take, how they would treat you, and a whole lot of fluff too

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long. I accidentally deleted it like twice and I kind of gave up for a while

buttt I’m back at it and ready to write this because these boys are my babies and their comeback has given me motivation

I hope you like itttttt

@multifandomhell23

~

Lee Dongheon

what a hard-working boy

he spends most of his days watching over his six children making sure they don’t accidentally kill themselves

especially Minchan and Yeonho

moving on

whenever he has a day off he doesn’t hesitate to run and spend it with you

shows up at your apartment with your favorite snacks and special treats

the two of you run around grabbing all the blankets and pillows that you own

you make a large fort in the middle of your living room

once its done you both crawl inside

dongyeon opens up his laptop and puts on a cheesy movie for the two of you to watch

in the middle of the movie he starts to poke at your sides slightly

you ignore him until his poking turns into tickling

you giggle slightly and start to roll away from him

he would follow after you and the two of you would get caught in the blankets pulling down that fort

dongyeon would stop once the two of you were completely wrapped up in all the blankets

he would smile down at you and pepper light kisses all over your face

rubbing his nose against your he would finally kiss your lips gently

‘I love you’

after cleaning up the mess you made you would both decided to go to bed early

snuggling up together, dongyeon would tuck you safely under his chin

whispering to each other until he falls asleep

you carefully crane your head upwards pressing a soft kiss on his chin

you fall asleep to the peaceful sound of his breathing filling your ears

Bae Hoyoung 

i may be in love with this squish

i wanna poke his dimple

move on

he loves doing outdoorsy things

going to the beach, amusement parks anything where the two of you can have fun at

he’s also the kind of person that will totally surprise you about going somewhere

he randomly shows up at you door

‘get dressed jagiya, we’re going out today’

you did as you were told and got dressed quickly

the two of you skipped through the streets happily

you couldn’t contain your excitement when you showed up at a festival

dragging him around you two would find many things to do

he would find a game that he really wanted to play

taking you over he would try many times to beat it so he could win you a cute plushie

after a few tries, he gave up with a pout

you smiled at him and played the game, winning on your try

you would hand him the llama plushie that you had one

‘wah, my jagiya is the best isn’t she?’

the two of you would walk around the festival until nightfall 

hoyoung would surprise you by handing you a lantern

‘shall we send one off with our wishes?’

‘you are my wish hoyoung’

he would cringe at how cheesy you were but tell you the same thing

after sending off your wish he would hug you tightly to him

‘you really are my wish jagiya, forever and always’

Hong Minchan

minchan prefers more intimate style dates

the ones where it if just the two of you together

whether it’s the two of you lying on the couch together

or when you’re reading him a new book that you bought recently

but

his favorite type of date

is when the two of you are in his studio and he’s playing the piano for you

you expressed multiple times that you love it when you hear the sound of a piano

so anytime the two of you are in the studio together he makes sure to play for you at least once

he would motion for you over to sit next to him on the piano bench

you would stand up from the couch and walk over, sitting down next to him

he placed his hands delicately on the keys before playing a soft melody

it’s a melody that you knew all too well

your favorite ballad that he ever wrote

after all

he wrote it about you

about how he first fell in love with you and how he knew that you were the person he wants to be with forever

every time he would play for you, it would make you feel sleepy

your head rested on his shoulder as you continued to sing quietly

he would smile and look down at you as your eyes fluttered closed

his heart would burst at the sight of you

once he finished playing he would carefully shift so you was laying against his chest 

running his fingers through your hair softly 

he would hum quietly until you were finally fully asleep

he would carry you back to the couch and cover you up

letting you sleep until he was finished with his work

that was his favorite time with you

Jo Gyehyeon

this boys only mission in life is to show off

especially to you

he loves it when you praise him for something

it doesn’t matter what it is

so where does he take you out on a date

a place to watch him perform his martial arts of course

you sit and gleefully watch as he does multiple flips and twists in the air

in an attempt to really show off to you he does a triple backflip

only for him to slip on his footing and fall on his butt

‘Ah, hyeonie are you okay?’ 

you run over to him to quickly check up on him 

he just lies there pouting with his arms across his chest

‘i can’t believe i did that’

you giggle and help him sit up

‘i can, you’re not exactly the most elegant one’

would pout even more because you made fun of him

he would whine and complain while rolling around on the floor

‘my jagiya made fun of me, my life cant go on anymore’

you would just watch amused as he continued to complain out loud

he wouldnt be paying attention to where he was rolling and would knock into your legs causing you to fall over 

would freak out because he accidentally hurt you

you would just laugh as he would run over to you 

‘jagiya, are you all right?’ 

you would grab his arm and pull him down so he was lying on top of you

holding him close you would stroke his hair and assure him that you were all right

‘youre the best, you know that right?’ 

would blush like crazy and hide his face in your neck

you would continue to compliment him until he couldn’t take it anymore

‘i’m only the best because you make me the best’

so much fluff and cheesiness between the two of you it’s unreal

Ju Yeonho

this little squish

we are all aware that taking selfies is his life

so what does he do on a date with you?

takes you all around seoul so the two of you can take pictures together

it always surprises you that he always managed to find new places to take you to

but, he loved taking you the han river

he could take pictures of you in the sunset

though he always says that every picture he takes of you is pretty

he especially loved it when you take pictures of him

you always gush about how adorable he looks would cause him to smile even more

‘wah, you look amazing in this angle dont move’

would make you stand still for ten minutes until you convince him that he had enough pictures

he even takes pictures of you eating

‘yeonho, if you take one more picture of me, im throwing your phone in the river’

‘but you look so pretty, can i take one more?’

after you two were finished you would sit in the grass and just watched the stars

you would lie on his chest and point out all the constellations that you see

‘wah my jagiya is so smart, everyone must be so jealous’

while talking, you would eventually fall asleep cuddled to his chest

the second he knew you were sleeping, would pull out his phone and take another picture of you

‘delete it’

‘awe but it’s my favorite!’

Kim Yongseung

so like

mr.competative over here

as soon as you make it to the dorm runs over to you holding to rubiks cubes

‘i bet you i can solve it faster than you’

‘bring it on’

you plop yourselves onto the couch and the boys all gather around you

‘ready? start!’ 

yongseung immediately starts working on it

his hands are flying as he expertly flips the sides

‘wow, noona’s really bad at this’

the boys would mutter about how much you suck causing you to be distracted

‘yah! how can i even try when you wont shut up?’ 

you stand up and throw the cube at minchan

‘it wasnt even me that said it!’

while youre all arguing yongseung stands up and slams the cube on the table

‘finished!’

you look at him in shock

‘that’s not fair, they distracted me!’ 

he just smiles and grabs your hand

‘oh well, time for my reward for winning’

drags you into his room and lays you on the bed

‘you did that on purpose, didn’t you?’

he would just laugh as he hovered over you

‘maybe a little’

kisses you all over your face and neck while holding you close to him

‘i’m sorry ive been so busy lately’ 

you lean your head up and press your lips to his in a way to tell him that its okay

‘never, will i blame you for missing a date because of this, youre doing what you love, and i love that it makes you happy’

you really are the greatest

a very long and well needed makeout session occurs after that

after all, he did win

Yoo Kangmin

uwu

this little bean is so precious and must be protected at all costs

his favorite things in life

are soccer and you

so he loves taking you to the field behind your house and playing soccer with you

most of the time while playing you little siblings come and join along

kangmin loves playing with your siblings

especially your younger siblings

being an only child made it hard for him to have fun most of the time

but now that he has you, he’ll gladly to everything he can to keep you close

even if it means having your little brother cling to his leg every time he walks through the door of your house

would take all of you out to the field to start a game

‘jagiya, come be on my team’

‘no i want her on my team!’

you wink at kangmin before running over to your sister

picking her up and resting her on your hip

‘come on together we can beat Kangmin!’

‘wah, are you really going against me?’ 

‘yep, we can totally beat you’

the game begins and you all laugh as you all run around the field

you little brother went to kick the ball he slipped and fell

he began to cry and rub his face softly 

kangmin would be by his side before you were

‘ah, did you get hurt? are you all right?’

your brother would attempt to wink at you causing you to smile

you would steal the ball from kangmin and kick it down the field

‘you betrayed me? i dont know how to feel!’ 

kangmin would chase after you and wrap his arms around your waist lifting you into the air

‘you tricked my jagiya, thats not fair’

you shrugged your shoulders and looked back at him

‘alls fair in love and war’

‘is it now? ill be sure to use that later’

[cozykhaos]

A New Sun Part 11

My internal alarm screamed me awake 6 am sharp, I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing peaceful thoughts into my head and willed myself back to sleep. It lasted just a few moments before Ash pressed his cold, wet nose to my cheek, making me bolt upright. I scowled down at the pup who was mid-stretch. Wiping the cold snot from my face I started my morning routine. Feed Asher, start coffee, let Ash out, stare at clothing.

That last part posing a problem today. Usually I’d just put on my work clothes, but today I was going back to Zuzu and clothes that were stained in hues of browns and greens from the farm wouldn’t fly.

I ended up having to go through unopened boxes to find something clean, a pair of black high wasted shorts, a loose fitting red tank top and black sneakers. I checked the time, the clock blinked 6:30. I frowned. I didn’t have to meet the others until nine. I looked around my little home frowning. There wasn’t a whole lot to do. I padded into the bathroom, I had unpacked all my toiletries a few weeks ago. I stared down at the unused jars of lotions, the untouched eye shadow palettes and make up brushes. It was hard to believe that just a month ago I was using this stuff every day.An idea hit me as I looked at the packs of unused face mask, grabbing one and stuffing my clothes into a bag and grabbing a to go cup of coffee I headed out the front door with Asher.

A short walk later I was at the hot springs, I quickly changed into my bathing suit and shoved my stuff inside a locker. Ash had found a spot under a bench, his eyes already heavy with sleep. I submerged myself in the steaming water. I sighed with relief as my muscles began to relax, my jaw unclenching, brows unfurrowing, shoulders dropping away from my ears. My eyes grew heavy from the warmth and humidity and I let out a long yawn. I reached for my coffee and took a long sip. I would need to start making this part of my routine, I needed to remember to care for my body especially after everything I’ve been putting it through.

After another long sip of coffee I smeared the face mask on. It was supposed to help remove built up dirt and help brighten the skin. Yoba knows I needed that. Everything I owned seemed to have a fine layer of dirt built up on it. I took the time cleaning every inch of myself, feeling layers of grime fall away. I had showered every day since coming to the Valley, I had to or my own stench would suffocate me in my sleep. But there was something magical about these waters, I soon felt like a brand new person.

With great hesitation I finally removed myself from the pool to go and get ready. First I peeled the face mask off which had melded to my face like concrete. I stared in disgust at the horrors it had pulled from my pores and tossed it in the nearest trash. Asher poked his head inside the trash can and I shooed him away. I changed and did minimal with my make up, there was no point in lathering it on when tomorrow they would go untouched once again. I checked the time, it was already 8:30. I hurriedly packed all my stuff up and headed back to the farm. Dropping my bag off at the house then taking Asher to Lewis’s. I bumped into Sam as I was starting back north.

“Look at you!’ he whistled and lowered his sun glasses. “All clean and stuff.”

“It took me a hot minute to find these,” I said with a chuckle. “I woke up at my usual time, so I thought I’d gussy myself up for you lot.”

“For us or for Sebastian?” Sam quirked an eyebrow up.

I ignored his comment and busied myself with trying to pull my mane of curls into a loose bun.

Abigail and Sebastian were already waiting for us at the bus stop, Sebastian’s long legs stretched out in front of him clad in faded black jeans with rips in the knees, cigarette hanging from his lips. Abigail had a paper cup in her slender fingers and she took two long gulps from it. Her purple hair hung over her shoulder in a braid. “Morning guys!” she beamed up at from her seat on the bench. Sam plopped down next to her, throwing an arm around her shoulders. That left the only seat open next to Sebastian, I stayed standing.

It wasn’t much longer before the train pulled into the station and we were off. It was only an hour ride into the city and I was back into the belly of the beast.

“What should we do first?” Abbie asked as we stepped out of the train station and into the noise of the city. I was silent as my senses adjusted to the sights and noises that raged over me. I had never noticed the thick layer of smog that hung over the city and tumbled into the streets, the sunlight still managed to be harsh somehow. The light turned green and traffic began to speed by, my heartbeat quickened and I took a step back, backing up into Sebastian. His eyebrows knitted together and he looked down at me. “You okay?” he asked.

Abbie turned and looked at us, Sam was already staring a frown on his face. I nodded and gulped down a bit of air. “Fine, just sensory over load, I guess,” I let out a nervous laugh.

“Well, is there anything you would like to do first?” Sam asked.

“We could go by the Joja building and flick it off.”

Behind me Sebastian snorted.

“You know, that’s actually not a bad idea,” Sam beamed.

“I’m down, then can we go by the mall?” Abbie asked.

“Yeah! I want to go by that new indoor skate park that they just built there!” Sam jumped in place.

“Bash?” I looked at him, he hadn’t spoken much this entire time. He shrugged. “I’m just along for the ride.”

“Don’t let him fool you Kit, he’s having fun,” Abbie smiled.

“A blast,” Sebastian smirked.

“So, Joja?” Sam asked.

“This way,” I pointed and took point. Nothing had changed, the streets had all remained the same, life in the city had continued in my absence.

“So why is this on your to-do list?” Sam questioned.

“I forgot to do it when I quit,” I said matter-of-factually.

“You used to work for Joja?” Abbie had made her way next to me.

I nodded. “I was a manager for the warranty department. I actually lived in an apartment just a few blocks from here.” I paused, we were on the opposite side of the road from Joja building. With the tiny windowed slots in the gray concrete exterior, it looked just like a prison.

“Yeesh,” Sam shivered next to me. I patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry it is much worse inside.”

“Why’d you leave?” Sebastian asked.

I cocked my head and scrunched my mouth up, I raised up my middle finger to the building then kept walking down the street. I wasn’t ready to get into that yet.

Don’t people work anymore? I thought to myself as we entered the packed mall. It was a Thursday morning and seemed like every soul in Zuzu had taken a detour to the shops first.

“Where should we go first?” Abbie wiggled next to me.

“Skate park.”

“Electronics.”

Both boys spoke at the same time.

“There is this awesome cafe in here that sells the best cinnamon rolls, I’m just saying,” I pipped up after.

“Ohh, that sounds yummy!” Abbie beamed.

“Do they have coffee?” Sebastian asked.

“Yes, but at this point I think you should hook yourself up to an IV, just have coffee pumped into your blood veins,” I said.

“Is that a thing?” Sebastian questioned, his eye brows raising.

“If it is, I don’t think it is recommended,” I shrugged.

“I’d invest in that,” Sebastian sighed.

“We could find you one of those hats!” Sam said pointing to his head then pretended to grab two invisible cups on the side.

Abbie made a face. “Like the beer guzzler hat?”

“That!” Sam flapped his arms. “But instead of beer, we put coffee mugs in it!”

Sebastian stroked the stubble on his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “I could be swayed into considering it.”

Finding the little hole in the wall cafe, we placed orders. I was declared to official Food Guide for the rest of the day by Sam. I accepted it with a sweeping bow and asked how everyone felt about Mexican food.

“This is the part I miss about the city,” I started. “I fucking love food. Don’t get me wrong, Gus is amazing, but damn I miss having so much cuisine at my finger tips.” I sighed and stuffed another bite of warm gooey cinnamon roll into my mouth.

“I’m going to miss these,” Sam sniffled and hugged his box to his chest.

“On Saturday morning and I was feeling really lazy, I’d just have Post Mates deliver them to my apartment,” I smiled at the memory. Wrapped in my favorite blanket, coffee brewing, a controller in my hand.

“Post Mates, what’s that?” Abbie asked.

“What?” I snapped out of my day dream.

“Post Mates, what is it?” Abbie repeated.

I blinked at her slowly then looked at both of the boys to see if it was a joke. Both of their faces remained in a blank stare. Holy shit. There is no Post Mates in the Valley. It made since, seeing as we were almost to the middle of no where. The hotel only had a few rooms and Gus lived in one of them!

“Post Mates is a delivery service,” I shrugged. “You place an order on the app and your Post Mate goes and gets it and brings it to you.”

The three exchanged looks, Sebastian dug his phone out of his pocket.

“You’re joking?” Sam asked.

I shook my head and took a drink of coffee.

Sebastian held up his phone, showing his friends the app.

“What the actual fuck?” Abbie snatched his phone and began scrolling. With a scowl and a huff Sebastian leaned back in his chair.

“I’m jealous and a bit confused,” Abbie admitted after several moments of silence.

“I’m just jealous!” Sam threw his arms up.

“Why wouldn’t you just go and get your own food?” Abbie asked.

“Lazy,” I shrugged then added. “Drunk.”

“That’s so awesome!” Sam’s forehead made contact with the table. Sebastian snatched his phone out of Abbie’s hand, she stuck her tongue out at him.

We finished our treats then continued about our day. We unleashed Sam upon the skate park. Stopped at a Hot Topic for Abbie, where she found purple finger less gloves that matched her hair.

The electronic shop took up both floors of the mall and we lost Sebastian for over an hour. We found him leaning against a table, talking to an employee, a short adorable girl with a pink pixie cut. I felt something in my chest squeeze and I ducked down an aisle, separating myself from the group.

I had spent so much of my life trying to escape this overwhelming city and when I’m finally able to, I come right back. Like a clingy girlfriend.

It’s just the day Kit.

What about the farm? Summer is just a few days away, there is still so much to do.

It will all be there tomorrow.

When did these shelves get so close together?

When did it become so loud in here?

Who turned the air off?

Sweat beaded on my forehead, I was gasping for air.

I started moving. I had traveled these walk ways a hundred times before and my feet carried me to the nearest exit and outside. I kept walking until I found an alcove and plopped myself down onto the ground. A car sped past, the engine roaring, another car this time speakers that were too loud. A slam of a door. People walked, unaware of my state, laughing, talking.

Breath.

It wasn’t enough and my hands started to shake, my fingers tingling.

Breath.

The numbness spread up my arms and into my lips.

Breath.

Sneakers pounding on pavement quickly approached me.

“Kit!” Abbie’s voice broke through the madness inside. Sam practically threw himself on the ground next to me, his arms wrapping around my torso. For the first time I noticed he smelled of sunshine and sand. Just like the beach, just like the Valley.

Sebastian knelt in front of me, his dark coffee eyes meeting my clover ones and rooting me back to the ground. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a little sensory over load,” I sniffed, rubbing at my damp cheeks. When had I started crying? A frown tugged at his lips, Sam pulled me closer to him, crushing me to his side.

“Sam, I think you are killing her,” Abbie said.

“With my love!” Sam patted my head, it was more aggressive then comforting. Sebastian rolled his eyes and stood, reaching out his hand to me.

“Oh thanks bro,” Sam reached for it. Sebastian popped Sam’s hand away, I gave him my hand, but there was a long awkward moment where I was just holding his hand because Sam was still keeping me anchored to the ground.

“Dude, let go!” Abbie kicked Sam’s leg.

“Fine!” Sam let go and stood. Sebastian finally pulled me to my feet, he pulled me into a quick embrace before letting me go and giving me a once over.

Thunk-thunk.

Hush you.

I cleared my throat “Sorry for the scare, we may now all go back to whatever it was that we were doing.”

“I wasn’t done shopping,” Sebastian shoved his thumb back towards the electronics store.

“I don’t need anything from there. Want to go to the book store with me Kit?” Abbie asked.

Honestly, I didn’t.

I wanted to go look at the new builds. Look at getting new RAM for my pc and new RGB lighting. But I don’t think I could take seeing Sebastian and that girl together, so I agreed and followed Abbie. I found more than I thought I would. I found new models for Solorian Chronicles, the game Sam and Sebastian played every Saturday night. An adventure diary for Abbie. I found myself in front of the Lawn and Garden section, staring at a copy of ‘Farming for Dummies’. I frowned.

“Whatcha got there?” Abbie asked appearing from behind a shelf. I jumped and shook my head.

“Just stuff,” I shrugged. I looked at the stack of books in her arms. They were all adventure books, the main character female, I smiled to myself.

Abbie glanced at the shelf and frowned. “Don’t tell me you are getting that.”

I shrugged again.

“Kit, come on you are way better than that,” she scoffed.

“Abbie, I have no idea what I’m doing,” I sighed. “Thankfully Summer is coming up, which is the only season I know shit about, but damn.” For the first time I felt defeated. “Grandpa’s busiest season was summer and fall, but they were also his most profitable. That’s actually why I started going to Gaia Farm. Dad sent me there so I wouldn’t be a lazy ass all Summer and I could help grandpa out. Did I learn a lot, definitely. But I’m still flying blind here.”

Abbie’s face scrunched up, before taking one of her books and bopping me on the head with it.

“Ow!” I rubbed the spot she hit.

“Kit, I can honestly say I understand, I do,” she began. “Recently my dad has been giving me a lot more to do around the store. More responsibility, taking shifts by myself, showing me how to order. But if he were to die tomorrow I would have no idea what to do. I’d probably just burn the store down.” Her statement was very matter of fact. “I think you are just overwhelmed right now. Give it some time and Hurricane Kit will sweep through Gaia Farm and so much ass will have been kicked.” Abbie looked at the shelf and plucked a book off and added it to my pile ‘Farming for Beginners’.

“If our hands weren’t full, I’d hug you,” I sniffled.

“We will hug it out later.” Abbie laughed.

The guys were ecstatic about their gifts, it was a model castle, with a little village and a few characters that they were going to build and paint over the weekend. Abbie whispered “nerds” under her breath earning glares from both boys. We hung out at the mall for a little bit longer, then explored the town. I took them to my favorite Mexican restaurant, then showed them my old apartment. I pointed to the 3rd floor window that used to be mine. Sebastian stared at that window, a sense of longing in his eyes.

“I’m confused,” Abbie said from beside me.

“About?” I looked at her.

“Why is do you have fire escape if there are bars on the windows?” She asked with a laugh.

Sebastian frowned, his head cocked.

Behind us a large truck revved its engine, smoke poured from the exhaust and overwhelmed us. A horn honked. Tires squealed.

I waved my hand in front of my face to help clear away smoke. The others coughed loudly and tried to fan the smoke away. Once things settled I answered Abbie’s question. “So the bars on the window were installed after someone broke into a 5th story window and they installed the bars on for safety measures.”

My friends stared at me unblinking.

“What?”

“That dumb,” Sebastian blinked.

“I’m aware.”

The sun was setting and the street lights began blinking on, we headed back to the train station. The ride home was quite, both Abbie and Sam had fallen asleep the moment they sat down. Abbie’s head on his shoulder, his head resting atop hers.

“They are so cute when they aren’t talking,” I bumped my elbow against Sebastian’s.

“Yeah they are. I can almost tolerate them.”

I snickered. He began scrolling through his phone, his brows coming together.

“What’s up Bash?”

He hummed and kept scrolling. “I just got a new project to work on, so it’s going to be a late night.”

“Project?”

“Yeah for coding, it’s for a new medical software.”

I stared at him, one eye brow raised. “That’s impressive.”

Sebastian snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. “You are the only one who thinks so.”

He turned away from me and stared out the window. I sighed and leaned back in my seat, guess that conversation is over.

We sat like this for awhile, in silence, listening to the heavy breathing of our two sleeping friends.

“Thanks for yesterday,” Sebastian finally said.

“For what?” I turned to him.

“Helping me through the anxiety attack,” his voice was low, just above a whisper.

“Of course,” I shrugged. “I...”

My voice caught in my throat. I what? Care about you? Like you? Want to kiss your stupid face?

“I’m glad I could be there for you.”

Sebastian faced me, eyes exploring my face for a moment before turning back to the window.

[wetookanoath]

the Ultimate™  big, fat, long ass shyan fanfic rec list by your local librarian, part II

So, tumblr fucked the format and apparently, it doesn’t allow you to post as many links as one may want. Fuck you, @staff.

Contains: More than 150 fanfictions on AO3 and tumblr. Commentary for each by me, rating, number of chapters and summaries. Divided by Top 25 Favorites, Oneshots, Multichapter, Ongoing, Series and On Tumblr Only.

[Part I] [Part II] [Part III]

Coming Soon: Rec Page.

~ Oneshots, part II

Something a Demon Would Say by EAST (WESTAGE)

Summary: Ryan wants to prove that Shane is a demon, and/or an alien, and Shane just wants to ask Ryan out on a date.

“The jig is up, Shane Madej! I know what you really are!”

Rated: G

Commentary: This fic has one of my favorite endings of all time. It’s fun and funny, and characterization is wonderful. Also, Shane has a not-so-secret crush on Ryan and it’s adorable.

i wanna see the sunrise and your sins by AmazingAida

Summary: ryan goes into heat while filming and shane is, thankfully, there to help.

also ryan and shane come face to face with their true feelings and it’s very confusing.

or, alternatively: in which shane and ryan have sex for one reason that ends up being a completely different implicit reason.

or, alternatively: feelings are confusing just don’t have them.

Rated: E

Commentary: Pure, fluffy PWP, if that’s you think– the only reason I don’t cherish as much this fic is because it is a cheating fanfic. And while they don’t cheat on their real life girlfriends in the fic, Ryan still has a partner and I just... don’t. But other than that, this is very sweeet and hot.

Mausoleum by ghostwheeze

Summary: How about…. Ryan and Shane are stuck in a room for some reason (Maybe the doorknob broke off…?) And Ryan is absolutely terrified. The sexual tension has been high between the two for a while and so Shane decides… fuck it, and does something to distract Ryan ;)

Rated: T

Commentary: This fic has something... something tht makes me love it. It’s so good and hot, even if they are just--- not doing it, and yeeeeet. I ove it.

SLEEPINGWITHAFRIEND by grapefruitghostie

Summary: it’s a risk but, babe, i need the thrillor; the author just wants to cry

Rated: E

Commentary: Alright, this one is kinky. In this story, Shane and Ryan also have a dom/sub relationship, with Shane being Ryan’s dom, and it also has– you guessed it right, daddy kink. I love it.

he is the one named sailor moon by schuyleryette

Summary: Ryan Bergara was just your regular college student trying to deal with classes, an asshole roommate, and one of the most insufferable jerks he had ever met. None of this prepared him for the talking cat who change the course of his destiny…

Rated: T

Commentary: Another big, but nice, surprise in the tag was to find a damn Sailor Moon AU. Look– I grew up watching this anime and this was the first manga I read, and I also probably became a little bit gay because of Michiru (and her wife Haruka), so this AU is everything to me.

That, and the fact that is. so. much. fun. Honestly, give Ryan a break– he had one weird night in this fic. It’s great, you all should read it.

satisfaction brought it back by ElasticElla

Summary: A true crime case turns supernatural, and Ryan gets a little too curious about Shane’s fanfiction references.

Rated: M

Commentary: Listen, Ryan’s curiosity in this fic is everything to me. I felt all the second hand embarrasment in the world while reading him go through smutty fanfics as Shane slept in the same room as him, getting hot at fanfic!Shane saying that “you are mine” and stuff like that. It was amazing.

Danse Macabre by americanchemicals

Summary: On your thirteenth birthday, a mark would appear on your body, a mark that only one other person in the world had. These matching marks, or soulmarks, were a physical connection between two soulmates.

Rated: G

Commentary: THEY GET– AT THE END THEY– DUDE, JUST READ IT. The ending of this, the climax of this fic, had me shook and It made me happy. Lovely fic.

and i’m puffing my chest, getting red in the face by pissedofsandwich

Summary: "Zack’s going to be there?“ Shane asks, masking his… whatever it is he’s feeling in his chest, with nonchalance.

Ryan blinks. “Yes?”

Well, never mind dancing with the fucking sun. He’s Icarus, wings melted and falling face-first into the asphalt.

Or: Shane is definitely not at all jealous of how close Zack and Ryan are getting during the making of Sports Conspiracies. Except that he is.

Rated: T

Commentary: One of my favorite fanfics that also has jealous!Shane and one of the most funniest climax ever. All their co-workers are damn angels, you gotta read this, it’s incredible. Also, kudos to poor Zack having the rage of a jealous Shane Alexander Madej with a cup of coffee in his hands.

Blood Buddies (with benefits) by Squeakyshroom

Summary: Ryan thought they were just friends, but one night and one bite has him questioning everything.

OR: Shane’s a fledgling vampire. Ryan’s an idiot.

Rated: E

Commentary: I’ve read a total of 16 times since it was posted a few weeks ago, lmao. Look– this author? I love her. She is one of the first people I talked to while doing the project, she kinda got me into talking to other authors and that helped me a lot to get through the reading happily.

She has a very unique style and the way she writes their dynamic is something else. This fanfic in particular is a lot of fun, and I hate the fact that I know one and every damn Twilight reference in it.

It also has one of my favorite mental images/scenes in a fanfic ever. If you guess which one is, come tell me about it, lmao.

give me all your poison by ElasticElla

Summary: Shane catches Ryan red-handed. Or well, red-shirted and fuck, this is not the romantic reunion he envisioned when deciding to surprise Ryan.

Rated: E

Commentary: AHHHHH, I LOVE THIS ONE. It inspired a whole series in which both are killers that you should totally read, too: the serial killer ryan quartet. This fic has… a scene I really like. If you get which one, I’ll love you forever. I’m so glad I read and commented this fic, because my comment helped inspire the rest of it.

distorted truths by hwsinbs

Summary: All of Shane’s entourage is convinced that his boyfriend is a ghost. Ryan takes it a little too well (and Shane wishes it was a real ghost).

Rated: G

Commentary: LMAO, this fic. Look– Ryan has to say a little lie and it becomes this big thing… he can’t even breathe properly after it. It’s incredibly fun, I enjoyed reading it a lot.

Eventually, the Darkness Stares Back by EAST (WESTAGE)

Summary: Shane realizes he likes Ryan exactly the way he is: alive.

Rated: T

Commentary: Oh, this one gave me the creeps. Shane is fucking scary, man, and the whole scenary, the moment when everything happens, I just– wow. This one’s good, really good.

Nana by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: I sat with you beside your bed and cried For things that I wish I’d said

You still had your nose red

And if I live past seventy-two, I hope I’m half as cool as you

Ryan is ready.

Rated: Not Rated (I’ll say T)

Commentary: This should be rated DEATH FOR YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, because is a soul-destroyer fic. Dude, the ending. Dude, be prepared.

“Do you think there’s fanfiction?” by Anotherlostblogger

Summary: This is about to get very meta but it does not necessarily depict real life events and/or my actual opinions about the lovely fanfic on this site.

Rated: E

Commentary: The whole first part is a lot of fun, kinda on the nose, but really funny. And the smut is good, too. Very enjoyable fic, a lot of fun for everyone. Especially Ryan, lmao.

Fuck Fear by Squeakyshroom

Summary: Ryan can’t sleep and Shane invites him into his sleeping bag.

Sex and confused feelings ensue.

Rated: E

Commentary: From one of my favorite authors, this fic has ace!Shane who enjoys getting his partner off, and Ryan enjoys it of course. This fic is a lot of fun.

Ryan Bergara: The Biggest Fucking Tease in the World by ClaraLuna98

Summary: why was Shane so GODDAMN disheveled during the Sodder Children episode?

Rated: M

Commentary: This one is supposed to happen while they are filming the Sodder Children episode of True Crime, season 1. You know the one– when Shane looked like if he had just fucked. That’s the one. And it’s glorious. Also, daddy kink.

i wanna see your face and know ive made it home by isthepartyover

Summary: “I’m going,” Shane announces, blood smeared on his face and baseball bat still clenched in shaking hands.

They try to argue with him, tell him it’s dangerous and he might die and he should really leave it to the adults-Shane barks out a laugh at that one.

“I’m going,” he insists, and follows the scientists to the creepy-ass lab and down under to the gaping, disgusting maw waiting for them underneath.

Rated: Not Rated.

Commentary: SO THIS WAS DONE BECAUSE I SAID ON ONE OF MY SILLY, SILLY FANFICS POST HOW I WANTED A STRANGER THINGS AU IN THE FANDOM AND– and angels do exist, look at THIS. It’s wonderful, you guys, Shane’s POV is rich and fun, and is an interesting story that will make you want to die a little in the climax. Go read it!

Rogue State by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: “Who are you?” Ryan blurted out, once they had gotten away.

The line of Shane’s lips stretched into an amused grin. He chuckled. “I’m still your ol’ pal, Shane. I’ve just been keeping a few secrets.“

“And what secrets are those, Shane?” Ryan asked, voice wavering under the pressure of his anxiety and irritation. Shane pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side. With a small shrug, he explained, “Let’s just say I’ve been watching you for a long time.”

Spy!Shane AU.

Rated: M

Commentary: This is such an amazing fanfic, this AU is incredible and wow, I wish there was more of this. Shane and Ryan’s relationship is everything here, the things Shane has done for Ryan... amazing.

My Wings // Shyan by egofelix

Summary: An Angel by the name of Ryan meets a Demon by the name of Shane and let’s just say… the rest is history.

Rated: Not Rated (M, for sure)

Commentary: In which Ryan is an angel, Shane is a demon, there’s a war between their worlds, and they have some good dicking session. This fic is interesting, boning aside.

Compliment Each Other Like Colors by americanchemicals

Summary: When you look into your soulmate’s eyes, the world fills with color. Until then, people are forced to live in black & white, yearning for the day they’re able to see the universe in a different way.

Rated: M

Commentary: Can’t include a “you start seeing in color when you meet your soulmate” AU, especially when it’s kind of really original and well written. Very good fic with a good twist in it.

Angel With a Shot Gun by notimmortal

Summary: "I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe. Don’t you know you’re everything I have?”

- Angel With a Shotgun by The Cab

Or

Shane is an Angel and will never let anything harm Ryan, ever.

Rated: T

Commentary: Shane (and Sara) is an angel in this one. What I like the most about it is Shane’s POV and the universe it wrote, the world building is pretty rad. And also– Shane does has a gun. His spiritual weapon is a damn gun. It’s fucking awesome.

nothing’s making sense at all by isthepartyover

Summary: Ryan was drunk.

Very drunk.

The room was spinning slightly, making it hard to focus on anything in the room or any one thought, the anxious dread he’d had building in his gut since Keith’s disappearance only getting worse and less tolerable with the alcohol in his system.

The girls were laughing loudly over some joke Ryan couldn’t quite remember hearing, leaning on one another with the force of it, and the sound was making the terrible knot of feeling in his gut worse for some reason.

Rated: Not Rated. (Again, T).

Commentary: This oen is part of the Stranger Things AU. Like I said before, I love this AU. It’s awesome and Ryan’s POV in this one is one of my favorites.

Self care by Mega_purplezebracorn

Summary: Ryan likes to shower. The shower is a private place where he can think to himself and reflect the day.

However, sometimes a certain somebody will flash into mind and…distract him from this…

This is filthy, filthy dirt and I am both ashamed and proud. *sighs* wtf have I become?

Rated: E

Commentary: This one… has something… that I really like, and I don’t know where to put my finger on it. Both chapters of it are smutty. In the first one, Ryan takes care of himself and it’s… certainly sexy. While the second one is THE scene between them.

It’s also a “discovering you got a daddy kink” fanfic, they realize together they are into that. Good shit, good shit.

conflict of interest by spoopyy

Summary: Shane is a high school science teacher who really hates his job. He bumps into a passionate, but lonely history teacher named Ryan, who just might make teaching worth it.

Rated: Not Rated (but I would say, G)

Commentary: BOY, this is such a perfect fanfic, all of it. From how they met to how they get together, and how their relationship keeps going. READ IT.

and he takes and he takes by cooliohoolio

Summary: Shane wants to say I will be dead within the next year. He wants to say the flowers in my lungs are there because of you. He wants to say I’m in love with you and it’s killing me.

Rated: Not Rated (I’d say T)

Commentary: I love Hanahaki Disease, man. It’s so tragic and romantic at the same time, and I guess– sometimes, love does feels like that. It fills you up and yet, it’s killing you, takes your breathe away. And this fic? It killed me.

Bloody Hell by AussieBookworm

Summary: One of the gifts of being bitten by a vampire, Shane supposed, was his improved hearing. For example, he could hear Jen quietly humming a song she claimed she hated, Quinta having a conversation with her mother about her father’s surprise birthday party, and Ryan leaving a meeting room and walking over to him.

***

Shane is a vampire and Ryan starts getting a bit too close to the truth, completely by accident

Rated: T

Commentary: In which Shane and Ryan visit an actual Vampire Hunter for an episode, and Shane wants to destroy something. In this one, Shane and Sara are vampires and good friends, and Ryan doesn’t know his pal is exactly what he is looking for. And it’s awesome.

May I Say I Loved You More by Luntian

Summary: He felt Ryan’s warm palm on his shoulder. By then he knew he couldn’t lie anymore.“I—well, uh…” Shane inhaled deeply, “Promise me you’ll believe.

”Ryan was puzzled, but he nodded almost immediately.

After a long pause, Shane finally continued, “I’m not human.”

“What?” Ryan whispered. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Well, I was human, then—and then I died.” Ryan stared. Shane realized he was making no sense. He sighed, “Okay, listen. I am an angel.” Shane glanced at Ryan, trying to see his reaction but he saw no expression on his face. “I was sent on Earth to, uh, complete some mission.”

“You’re an alien?!”

“I’m an angel!”

/or/

Shane is an angel with a time limit. And a boyfriend.

Rated: Not Rated (T)

Commentary: Angel Shane AU that for a second seems to be all happy– then it’s not. I cried a lot.

find each other when we’re losing our minds. by alvaughn

Summary: “Gotta build up to it, baby.” Shane replies.

“Don’t call me baby.”

Rated: M

Commentary: We are in smut territory again. This one is FUCKED UP, like– all of these Seril Killer AUs are fucked, alright, but this one is just… oh, holy shit. Ryan, uuuuh, gets off of Shane coming to him every time he kills someone. But I like it. Another take on the “don’t call me baby” comment, also

.a short history of almost something by cooliohoolio

Summary: "I think I’ll wait another year.“Shane’s in love with Ryan, and will get around to telling him. One of these days.

Rated: Not Rated (G)

Commentary: This fic is… so damn cute. All of it. The scenes with them out in the grass, looking at the stars, are wonderful.

shelter by Hugabug

Summary: When Ryan comes home, covered in blood, Shane is ready for it.

Rated: T

Commentary: Serial Killer Ryan AU. Shane loves Ryan so much in this fic. And even though Ryan does– these horrible things, you can’t help but just want them to be safe. Protective Shane in this context is as wonderful as in any other.

waiting here for catastrophe by anarchetypal

Summary: “Ryan.” Shane breaks off and sits down again, slides his chair closer to Ryan’s, stares him down. “God, fuck, look at me, okay, I did this. I did this, this is my case, this is mine, everything you’re talking about—”

Ryan can’t help it: he laughs. It comes out a little anxiously, but it’s a laugh all the same, because Shane can’t really expect him to buy into this, right?

And Shane looks—well, murderous is either the wrong word or the right one.

“I’m not kidding.”

“You really want me to believe—”

“You entertain all possible theories, right?” Shane says, exasperated and angry, and Ryan notices it’s the first time he’s ever said that seriously. “That’s what this stupid show is—that’s what you do.So entertain this one.”

All at once, it stops being funny. Something the size of a golf ball seems to lodge itself high in Ryan’s throat. He realizes it’s alarm, fear, a caged bird thrashing against the bars inside himself. He’s waiting for Shane to break, to burst into laughter, to say it’s all a stupid joke, but it doesn’t happen.

“What the fuck,” he croaks out.

Rated: M

Commentary: Serial Killer Shane. In this one, Shane is offended that Ryan thinks he is an amateour in the Art of Killing, and also does the horrible, terrible pun of “Cereal Killer” as he eats Ryan’s cereal. It’s fantastic.

when the tide comes by AnastasiaYu

Summary: the disappearance of ryan bergara.

Rated: T

Commentary: To quote Luke Skyalker, “this is not going to end the way you think”. This is… so sad. The ending is, wow, one of my favorites. The original ending. Althought the second ending is also good. But the first! So sad! So good!

i keep telling myself i’m not the desperate type by juniperProse

Summary: ““Hmm. Guess I’ll have to get you to shut up another way, then,” Shane says, and somehow he just sounds like he’s smirking.”

—

Or: It’s exactly what it sounds like. They just make out. That’s it.

Rated: T

Commentary: I know I keep saying this, but this is the cutest thing in the world and it’s gonna make you happy like it made me when I first read it. Besides, I really like this author a lot.

Short Stack by americanchemicals

Summary: An AU where the first words your soulmate ever tells you are marked on your wrist.

And Shane isn’t disappointed, because he knows he’ll know his soulmate right away, with how unique his words are.

After all, not many people greet others by saying, “You’re a fucking Sasquatch.”

Rated: T

Commentary: Listen, “You are a fucking Sasquatch!” has never been this romantic. This one fic is wonderful, def one of my favorites. Also, Soulmates AU are everything to me.

Love by JayCKx

Summary: "Do you not know how love works?“ Ryan utters softly, voice a little bit awed, looking at Shane with an expression that the taller man can’t quite place.

Immediately a million thoughts and memories spring forward into Shane’s mind.

Rated: G

Commentary: My heart warmed so much while reading this. It’s really cute, you just gotta ignore the unrequited love tag, lmao. Also a shorty but goodie.

The Desk Fic by SincerelyLeah

Summary: Shane was having a shitty Monday morning and it was all because of one person, Ryan Bergara. But, by now he should know that endless teasing gets Shane more than riled up.

Rated: E

Commentary: I have so much fun reading this damn fic. Because it’s funny– Like, Shane’s POV is funny and you can feel his frustration because Ryan is. such. a. fucking. tease. And THE moment is just– good.  Also, lmao, beware of the daddy kink.

Under The Stars by SincerelyLeah

Summary: “I promised myself I would never fall in love with you. But it was four am, and we were laughing way too hard. I felt happy for the first time in a long time, and I knew I was screwed.”

Rated: G

Commentary: A sweet something you will be glad to have read once you are done. I loved it, it’s so sweet and warm, it makes me truly happy.

if we’re gonna do this, we gotta do it now by floatingonthelehigh

Summary: “How did you convince me to come here again?”

“My irresistible charm, of course.”

Ryan’s mouth settles into a hard line. He’s not wrong.

(Shane gets Ryan to come to an old abandoned house with him. One of them, and you’ll never guess who, gets more than a little freaked out. Featuring: pure terror! confessions of love! and a somewhat-terrifying framed photograph of a woman!)

Rated: T

Commentary: Pure, sweet, loving fluff. Ryan gets a little angry at Shane but he deserves it, but at the end everything is right. I love this fic.

mystery item by rycan_toucan

Summary: ” – okay. remember last week when you, jen, steven and i went drinking and i had, like, eight and a half shots of whiskey?“

“i specifically remember the half, yes.”

“impressive. anyway, i ended up not passing out when i got home and did some high quality online shopping, instead.”***

ryan bought a thing, they both find it extremely funny and have a good time.

Rated: T

Commentary: The boys are so silly and happy in this little thing, oh my God, I’m smiling as I remember this fic.

Nemo est Scire by KatHowellLester

Summary:  Shane and Ryan are staying the night in a haunted building and Ryan can’t handle it so Shane cuddles him and makes him feel better by talking and holding him

No one has to know

Rated: E

Commentary: Say hello to the first daddy kink fic in the fandom, at least on AO3. Okay, so this one– I love the ending of this one a lot. And the use of the kink is pretty good, they actually discover they are into it during the act in the story. Pretty good and loving.

gayer than expected by juniperProse

Summary: Ryan sees Shane in his new glasses, and realizes that he may be less straight than he originally thought.

Rated: G

Commentary: NFNFINEIFRO, this one is so funny. I mean, just look at the title. Also, juniperProse is one of the best authors out there, you are gonna love this one.

Disneyland & Soulmates by anxiousdraco

Summary: Shane Madej is tired of looking at his Mark. He has yet to meet his Other even though he’s 26. So, he saves up his money and catches a flight to LA to get his Mark removed – something that is incredibly frowned upon. When he finds out he is to meet his Other in two hours, he goes to Disneyland. Why? Who knows. But it all works out in the end. // Shyan

Rated: Not Rated (I’d say T)

Commentary: Super cute, one hell of a meet-cute, even if at the beginning is a little bit angsty. Love this fic!

forever by catbrains

Summary: Prompt: “Can I kiss you?”

It’s an urge that comes on suddenly and all-consumingly, like starvation with no hunger to prelude it.

Rated: G

Commentary: In this one, they kiss for the first time and I melted when I first read it. The super poetic and beautiful way the kiss is written haunts me to this night.

The Lube Fic by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Someone sends Ryan a 55-gallon drum of lube, and Shane finds a good use for it.

Rated: Not rated (M, I think)

Commentary: Like I said before, Joey is the best and he always gives us the best content. This one is hot and funny. Also, it’s in his oneshots anthology, Between a Crucifix and the Hollywood Sign. This fic is so much fun... and has daddy kink, lmao.

Popping Dilemmas by SincerelyLeah

Summary: A late night run and met a late night stranger.

Rated: G

Commentary: This is one of those fics a meet-cute that you just LOVE, and this one is the case for me.

But I would like to, with you by MPhoenix7

Summary: “Maybe I don’t”.

“But I would like to, with you” was left unsaid.

Rated: T

Commentary: As you can see, this little moment marked us all. This one is another take on that, “You don’t know how love works?” little question. It’s also incredible.

in a crowd of thousands by Hugabug

Summary:  the parade traveled on, with the sun in my eyes you were gone but i knew even then in a crowd of thousands i’ll find you again

Rated: G

Commentary: And as you can see, I love Hugabug’s writing and wonderful AUs. This an Anastasia AU, Ryan is Anastasia and Shane is Dimitri, and this is BEAUTIFUL.

Unsolved by areneecz

Summary: The fluff-fueled antics of Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej.

Rated: M (but not really, is like T)

Commentary: OH THIS ONE. It’s so good, so pure, so cute. Shane calls Ryan “sweetheart” and I just fucking MELTED.

Candid by Planterra

Summary: ”The light shone through the window, hitting the younger’s smooth skin in just the right way. He was glowing. Ethereal. Beautiful, Light in an unworldly sense- and all of him belonged to Shane.“

Rated: E

Commentary: This is such a poetic little thing, in the smut realm also, and so beautiful…

I Only Need One Hand To Drive by gayunsolved

Summary: Ryan Bergara knows what he likes, okay? But he won't tell you if you ask, so don't ask.

(Alternatively, putting the 'size' in fantasize.)

Rated: E

Commentary: AHAHAHA, THIS FIC. So good, so hot, so-- listen, Size Kink it’s my thing and this fic gave me exactly what I wanted.

Oh Well, Oh Well by americanchemicals

Summary: Shane was just a typical demon, adventuring with his boyfriend through different haunted locations. Little did his boyfriend know, but he was there to make sure that nothing sinister hurt his human.

Ryan was just a regular demon, travelling to different haunted locations with his boyfriend for videos. Little did his partner know, but he was also making sure nothing hurt his tall partner.

Rated: M

Commentary: In this one, both of them are demons and it’s amazing, because none has any idea the other is, lmao. I love this fic.

Under no circumstances by Memefaego

Summary: Under no circumstances is Ryan getting in the tub with Shane.

Rated: T

Commentary: I bookmarked this one as “quality content” and that’s what it is. It’s the only fic about that bathrube scene, can you believe that?

things you said in the moonlight. by idkspookystuff

Summary:  Ryan invites Shane to spend the night, only he hasn't told his boyfriend he's transgender yet. or ryan's trans, he gets his period, and shane loves him despite everything.

Rated: T

Commentary: Such a sweet little fanfic that I love with all my heart. Trans Ryan AU, he and Shane had just started to date and everything is cute.

crossroads by thescrewtapedemos

Summary: It’s not a good idea to try rituals you find on the internet.

Rated: T

Commentary: Ryan’s actions in this fic are horrible in the sense that he thought– he thought nothing had happened and yet, all nightmares come to him and he doesn’t seem to notice, until the nightmare starts getting more and more clear. It’s incredible. I love this fic. It’s short and terrifying.

force at play by historicandgay (dannylawrence)

Summary: Over the decades, the Queen Mary has become filled to the brim with varying spirits and ghosts. Most of them are tired and prefer to keep away from the living. Most of them, that is. On one fateful trip, a young Ryan Bergara gets more than he predicted when a nosy ghost ends up seeing the future he could have with a certain skeptic, if only Ryan could just, ya know, believe in ghosts.

"Everything always came together, perfectly so, whether you meant it to or not, whether you wanted it to or not, no matter how hard people tried to predetermine the answer to every aspect of life, there was always something more."

Rated: Not Rated (I’d say G)

Commentary: Such a sweet fanfic about the ghosts at the Quen Mary, and one in particular that sees Ryan grow.

but still let me tell you that i love who you are by BooyahFordhamYacht

Summary: Ryan says the most wonderful things when there’s no one there to listen yet.Or, five voicemails from Ryan that Shane refuses to delete.

Rated: T

Commentary: A most recent fanfic I read while doing this list, it’s such a little gem. I love it to no end, it made me cry with how sweet and raw it is. I looove it.

Sweaters and Glasses by SincerelyLeah

Summary: It was the middle of September and it was cold in the house.

Rated: M

Commentary: Another smutty piece that I love way too much. I have a thign for glasses, alright, don’t judge me and just read this wonderful fic.

secrets by rycnbergara

Summary: the day after a huge party, ryan’s hungover, to say the least. but he drags himself out to the street festival outside. there, he meets a magician around his age. maybe the best decision he ever made.

Rated: G

Commentary: A great magician never tells his secrets, but this fic needs to be known. I loved it, it’s a lot of fun and something just sweet for when you are feeling down.

i'll hold your hand (but only if you want me to) by cactsu

Summary: “When you, uh… when you called me babe, I… I kind of liked it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I guess I should do it more often, then,” Shane turned to lock eyes with Ryan, something dark and sultry in his eyes. “Babe.”

(basically based on the ‘I’m pretending to be your bf because you looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on you’ prompt)

Rated: E

Commentary: Aaaaah, the smut in this fandom is just wonderful. And this fic? Amazing, one of my favorites.

the things you do to me (you know them too well) by Catherines_Collections

Summary: He thinks maybe it won’t last, tries not to think too much about the risk their both taking, but he’s going to enjoy it while it does.

Rated: Not Rated (I’d say T)

Commentary: Oh, man. This fic is wonderful, like everything this author ever does. I love it, the narrative is incredible.

the ghosts are screaming by ryan_bergara (ashtronomical_wander)

Summary: "Okay, not gonna lie, I'm still freaking out a bit about this hotel, so erm," Ryan says frantically, eyes shifting around the room in panic. "How about we, er…" he nods towards the bed, before giving Shane a pleading look.

"Wait, are you sure?" Shane blushes a little, not sure if he feels right doing this when Ryan was in such a state just moments ago.

"It'll take my mind off it, come on…"

- Basically -

Ryan has anxiety and Shane is his comfort.

Rated: E

Commentary: Man, I love this fic for the way it portraits their relationship. They are such a good couple and they are still best friends. It’s incredible well done and so hot, too. This smut is in another level for that. Also-- it’s fun, you are gonna smile and laugh reading it.

Flinch by oh-devil (conceit)

Summary: “Holy shit, you are ticklish.”

“Congratulations, you cracked the case.” Shane shot back the rest of his beer and tried to level his best glare at Ryan. “Now fuck off.”

Ryan’s laughter rang out through the trees.

Rated: M

Commentary: There is something special about this fic. I’m not sure what it is, but every fnfic during the Bigfoot hunt is just... blue. And wonderful. I really like this fic for some reason.

Good Enough by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Shane couldn't stand the idea of Ryan regretting him, and such a regret could start that very night.

Or, both of these boys are massively insecure.

Conrinuation of The Proposal(s) by GhostWheeze and murphy's law by Spoopyy.

Rated: E

Commentary: Joey is back at it again with another wonderful fanfic. This one is a wedding night fic, so imagine that-- It’s amazing, alright. I will always love more some sweet and tender, and loving, errr, love-making, than any other kind of sex. And Joey here did an amazing job.

i think i'm still turning out by the_tenerife_sea

Summary: Shane is starting to think Ryan is using him for his baby, considering how much he’s already talked her up to all of their coworkers and friends.

____

Or the one where Shane is a new parent, and Ryan is always there for him (and his daughter, of course).

Rated: G

Commentary: I love parents AU and this one is just lovely-- I don’t know what happened that people started to post kid fics all at once in the same week, but I’m glad they did. I may not be a big fan of how Shane becomes a single dad, but I really liked this fic.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by AmazingAida

Summary: Ryan likes looking into Shane’s eyes, so as to not look into the darkness, so as to not let his mind wander.

Rated: E

Commentary: Their relationship in this fic is so deep and beautiful, man. The smut is obviously great, but its the depth of their relationship that makes this fic incredible.

not with you by oMUSEo

Summary: "I'm always scared," Ryan whispers, afraid that if he speaks too loud the moment will be ruined and Shane will wake up and realize he's been hallucinating. That he should go back to his girlfriend who smiles like sunshine and likes her coffee the same way he does because Ryan is just unlucky when it comes to love.

Or when two dorks love each other and don't know how to act.

Rated: T

Commentary: One of the first fics I read and that I loved. Again, the way their relationship develops and the angst around it as it happens, amazing. I love this fic with all my heart.

Shane And Ryan Were Here by WhatWereMadeOf

Summary: “I’m...where are we? Did you just wake up? Are you okay? Jesus fucking Christ I’m so sorry...I’m so sorry Shane...”

When Shane didn’t reply, Ryan opened his eyes to see confusion on the other man’s face. He watched him lift a hand and point to his ear. He spoke slowly, and Ryan’s heart sank into his stomach when no sound came out.

“I can’t hear you.”

Or, Ryan and Shane get abducted and held captive by aliens. Maybe? Probably? There's some debate.

Rated: T

Commentary: This fic is amazing. It’s disturbing and all, but it’s also... kind of fluffy. I love it, to be honest-- It’s the greatest shit. Also-- IT WAS ALIENS, I KNOW IT!

Reluctant Cuddles by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Shane knows it’s his job as a Dom to take care of his boy after a scene. Sometimes he forgets he needs care too.

Rated: G

Commentary: One of the sweetest little things I’ve read in this fandom, especially as someone who loves dom/sub dynamics. This is so important and sweet.

Me & U (Village Bootleg Remix) by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: A possessive, drunk Ryan and a flustered, lovelorn Shane walk into a bar...

Rated: T

Commentary: In which one lowkey wants to punch Ryan for being such a bro, but then you realize he ain’t. This fic is awesome.

The Thing About Submission by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Shane and Ryan have a day to play. So they explore one of Shane's favorite things as a Dom: bottoming.

Rated: E

Commentary: Doms that bottom are the best and of course Dean, king of dom/sub in the shyan fandom, is the right person to write this. Honestly, this fic-- amazing.

Ghosting by Girlwithgoggles

Summary: Shane dies, and Ryan's world falls apart. Then a pen rolls off Ryan's coffee table.

Rated: T

Commentary: Man... You guys sure love your Ghost AU as sad as it comes, this one doesn’t disappoint.

Just Out of Reach by formosus_iniquis

Summary: A variation on the “I asked for your help getting a book off the top shelf and and you laughed at my taste and called me a nerd so I shoved you into a table of nonfiction best-sellers and that’s how we both got banned from the quirky community bookstore” prompt

Rated: T

Commentary: This fic makes me happy. It’s lovely and so well written, the situation it presents it’s also funny and overall, I love it.

while we all pretend to sleep by fructose

Summary: Ryan hears about a town in the Southwest, Shane takes him there.

They drove across the southern point of Nevada over two slow days, traversing that jagged shard of rock and dust with the static from the radio as their soundtrack. It crackled on even as Ryan pressed his hand between Shane’s legs, leaning over as they drove to growl obscene things in his ear. It was the white noise that played on as Ryan jerked Shane off in the back of the van, their bodies pressed close and hot.

Rated: M

Commentary: This fic… is another level of… awesome. I don’t know how to explain it, man. But it has something magical about it. I guess is the fact that I like melancholic and weird things. But it’s really In The Mood, you know.

Fresh Eyes by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Soulmate au where when you reach 18 you stop aging until you meet your soulmate? After a few years of being roommates (they were roommates through college and then just moved in together afterwards) shane and Ryan realize they've been slowly aging together (Bonus points if one of them realizes first and has to bring it up to the other person)

Rated: T

Commentary: This soulmate AU is such a cute little thing, I love it. It’s like a bunch of wonderful tropes in one well written and perfect fic.

the mustang kids are out by sevencts

Summary: "Do you want to turn back?“

Ryan looks at his hands: Left– clasped around the handle of his pistol, right– clasped around the palm of his lover. "No,” he whispers, taking a deep breath in and coming to meet Shane’s eyes again. He says, in earnest with a twisted smile on his pink lips. “Never.

Rated: M

Commentary: Oh, boy. This is the Bonnie & Clyde AU you never thought you needed until you read this. Short, but I love it. I fucking love it.

what’s the opposite of recruitment? by kinderhook (mrs_nerimon)

Summary: Ryan has a problem with the newest member of his Paranormal Club.

Rated: G

Commentary: In which Ryan has zero common sense and his friends are so tired. This fic is a lot of fun.

i'm just curious by soyicedcoffee

Summary: Ryan thinks, in this moment, as Shane twirls a pen between her fingers idly, that she’s never been so viscerally irritated.

Rated: E

Commentary: Genderswap AU. I never thought I would read one of these over here, but you guys always manage to surprise me in the best ways. This fic is everything. I’m conflicted because Shane reminds me of my crush in the city, who absolutely broke my heart, but man-- this fic is good.

I Think the Ghost Likes You by cactsu

Summary:  "Dude, are... are you touching me?"

"...No."

aka shane is bold enough to touch ryan, but not bold enough to admit it.

Rated: T

Commentary: Man, this fic. It’s a lot of fun to read and it has something-- the tease of them being together, I guess. It has a great ending, but seriously all that part about the ghost wanting to feel up Ryan, Jesus fucking Christ-- that’s great.

Not Safe For Work by doctorkaitlyn

Summary: Of all the many, many meetings Ryan has had to sit through since becoming a full-fledged Buzzfeed employee, this one is probably the most painful, for exactly three reasons.

1) It's not even eight thirty yet, and his coffee has yet to kick in and wake him up.

2) Zack is on his left watching a muted stream of last night’s Warriors and Lakers game, which is nearly impossible to look away from.

3) Shane is on his right, and one of his huge hands has been planted just above Ryan’s knee almost from the moment he first sat down.

(Or, having sex in a sound booth during work hours probably isn't appropriate workplace conduct, even for Buzzfeed, but that doesn't stop Ryan and Shane.)

Rated: E

Commentary: Listen, these men are killing me and in this fic? Holy shit Shane is a smooth son of a bitch and I love him. And also, Ryan, dear-- wow.

The Conjuring by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Omg yes...write a conjuring fic pls.

Rated: M

Commentary: I’m in love with AU. it’s so interesting and well written. It’s not the movie(s) but its own piece put in the universe of the movies. It’s incredible.

transgender dysphoria blues by ficfucker

Summary: shane and ryan find themselves in new hampshire to film an episode

and get a bit sidetracked in the process

Rated: E

Commentary: Trans Shyan. I’m in love with this fic, even though it’s kind of sad as the name suggested. It has something very special that I think speaks to many people. Shane is such-- I don’t know how to say this. But he is amazing and so is Ryan, and I love this fic.

two bros chilling in a sleeping bag by nastyboy (orphan_account)

Summary: “Dude. Dude. Shane. You gotta let me sleep in your sleeping bag.”

Shane rolls over. “”There- it’s a one-person bag.”

Rated: M

Commentary: I love this kind of dirty stuff, don’t judge me. Honestly, bless the authors of our fandom.

Revolutionary Road by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: can i request a shyan fic where the two get into a fight??? im in the mood for angst i guess lol. thank u!!!!

Rated: T

Commentary: Bro, this fic is... wow. A very interesting ghost story, passt lifes and possessions. It’s truly an amazing fanfic.

you get me closer to god by sessrumnir

Summary: Ryan wants to experiment. Shane is more than happy to comply.

Rated: E

Commentary: Also bless this fandom for writing such good Dom/Sub dynamics and in such different ways from one another, for making their relationship so deep and their trust so big, that’s love. This fic is wonderful. And hot.

And Then You by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: amazingaida asked: heya! same AmazingAida from ao3, I decided to check out your tumblr and I'm in love with it ngl <3 so, since i'm here, concept: ryan wearing shane's shirts bc shane is a very tol bean and just ryan wearing them when he gets scared for comfort and just ahhhh

Rated: T

Commentary: I have a Thing(tm) for Ryan wearing Shane’s clothes, and apparently, so does Shane. I love this little fic, it’s not only adorable, but sexy.

Honey by spectr

Summary: Alternatively: Ryan Bergara seizes the moment.

Rated: M

Commentary: Well, this is one of the sexiest things. And it’s not smut. Also, this fic is so poetic and aesthetically pleasing, I love it.

Ugly Sweater by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Shane hates the holidays. Specifically this holiday because he lost a bet. And the sweater is awful.

Rated: G

Commentary: Christmas fluff is always good and this fic is everything. Besides, ugly sweaters? My aesthetic.

Bloodflows by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: "Shane scoffed; the Force, the Jedi, balance, order, none of it made sense to him. It was too difficult to believe that there was some cosmic power responsible for ensuring the stability of the galaxy. He knew better than anyone what a joke that was. The cosmos were a boiling cauldron of chaos, wild and uncontrolled."

or

Shane discovers he has a power that could give him everything he wants, if he'll only let it.

Rated: Not Rated (T)

Commentary: Listen, I never knew I would need a Star Wars AU, but as it turns out-- I do. This idea of scruffy looking smuggler Shane and believer in the force Ryan is everything I’ve wanted. I love this fic a lot.

The Potion by 1967VivalaKITT

Summary: Basically Shane gets a love potion from a sketchy lady off the street, he puts it in Ryan's water gun and then accidents happen.

Rated: Not Rated (G)

Commentary: Listen, a love potion fic that is not used for sex it’s a big oportunity one can’t let go. I love casual magic in fics and this one is wonderful at it.

But if it's Not Right (What Can I Do?) by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Ryan Bergara, host of True Crime on Buzzfeed Radio, attracts the wrong person's attention.

A twisted version of Pichiba's radio!au.

Rated: T

Commentary: I LOVE FUCKED UP SHIT, and this one is one of the bests in the fandom. For real, I love this AU and I love how well Joey wrote the sick part of it all. The ending just jfbnfdinfir gave me the chills, it’s damn amazing.

Let's just forget the Hollywood rules by tearupthesky

Summary: Ryan rolls his chair closer to Shane. "Did you hear that, man?" he says under his breath. "That dog hates me, did you hear it growl at me? It almost took my fucking hand off! It could smell the curse. It recognized me with its primordial wolf senses."

"It's a fucking labradoodle," Shane says.

Rated: T

Commentary: Ryan is such a smooth motherfucker in this fic, I love it. There’s a part in which Shane  makes a playlist for the main event of the fic and it’s just so fucking funny to read. I love this fic.

It's a Ghost (Snake) by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Ryan's been courting the oblivious Shane for months. Jen comes up with a surefire way to win him over.

Rated: G

Commentary: I’m a sucker for fics with pets, and this one is so sweet-- Ryan is the best, and he deserves all the kisses.

Unconventional by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: …In that moment, [Shane] can’t find an elegant way to ask, “Hey, you’re exceptionally healthy, have a great personality and are well-educated. Want to be my baby’s daddy?”

Or

Shane and Ryan take an unconventional path to parenthood.

Rated: E

Commentary: Trans!Shane. This is one of my favorite fics in the fandom. I just love it, the whole of it, and it explores parenthood for transmen. The author is trans himself and a wonderful person, so they know what they are talking about and I just– he is the author I respect the most right now.

pray to stay by halfwheeze

Summary: Prompt! Okay, imagine this: Shane and Ryan are investigating a house infested with demons, right? And the demons are like 'damn aren't they just cuter than a kitten in a basket?' So they start to purposefully scare Ryan in order to give him and Shane a proper push in the right direction!

Rated: Not Rated (T)

Commentary: This small weird fanfic deserves much more love,it’s so original and just-- so good. I love the POV and the strange story. It’s great.

getting late to give you up by middlecyclone

Summary:  Nobody ever becomes a ghost the easy way.

Rated: T

Commentary: The ghost chick in this fic is everything More seer!Shane for the soul.

Mission: Brave New World by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: The Federation's rise to power had started years ago. When the great energy-producing deserts were destroyed, the world powers that depended on them collapsed. And in their wake, the Federation began to rise.

The Federation united all of South America under one banner, and devoured everything in its path as it moved relentlessly to the north. After turning ODIN against us, the Federation stood on the doorstep of America, poised for the kill.

They thought we were weak, crippled; prey waiting to be taken. We fought hard and we fought well. We fought them to a bloody stalemate. And here, just beyond the craters of "No Man's Land", we find ourselves in a defensive war against a more powerful enemy.

Rated: M

Commentary: Ah, man. The racism exposed in this fic is something else, and the way Ryan is written... wow. I love this fic, it’s very cool and interesting, and the boys are badass. And they sort of get married, I love it.

First Anniversary by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Shane's distracted, it's their first anniversary and Ryan doesn't even seem to remember.

Rated: G

Commentary: Such a sweet fic from a very amazing author that I love. I’m a sucker for established relationship fluff and this fic gave me al I need.

Might As Well Fall by middlecyclone

Summary: “I don’t trust this house,” Ryan says. “Something is really, really wrong here.”

Rated: M

Commentary: Fuck, this fic is amazing. It’s one of the best horror fics I’ve read, and while it’s not-- it’s not really scary or something, the tension it builds and the way it shows the boys’ feelings and relationship is incredible well done.

boys and their toys by ficfucker

Summary:  some trans!shane for the soul

Rated: E

Commentary: Trans!Shane. I really like the way the writer made their relationship and Shane’s POV is veeery good.

ghosts can't pick up power drills (probably) by anarchetypal

Summary: “What you’re suggesting is that we have sex in the exact spot where a dude was once brutally murdered with a power drill. That is what you’re suggesting to me right now.”

Shane throws up his hands. “Well, sure, when you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous.”

Rated: M

Commentary: Alright, this fic is a lot of fun and I enjoyed it a lot when I read it for the first time. Shane is such a litle shit, it’s amazing.

Would U Be So Kind ? by Lizjames

Summary:  There stood Shane Madej with his signature grin on his face

Ryan’s heart sped up and he groaned.

Or

Ryan has feelings, and he doesn’t really know what they are and how to process them.

Rated: T

Commentary: Another poetic piece that blowed me away. The relationship between them is so wonderful and pure, and there is a lot of pool time involved.

breathe for me, baby by literalmetaphor

Summary: Shane loves seeing Ryan freak out.

But not like this.

Rated: T

Commentary: Protective Shane is my favorite Shane, and this fic builds the tension of what will happen at the end pretty good. It’s a very good story.

Maybe, Kinda by babbyspanch

Summary: Ryan is having a tough day. Okay, tough week. Alright it's been a tough few months but he's got it handled okay? He's handed over the editing of Unsolved to a team and now... well he's still distracted, but he's trying.

But, Shane just makes it really hard to focus.

Rated: G

Commentary: Such a sweet fic, man. I love the fluff in this... and the pining!

On Longing and Other Contrite Bullshit by sunshinewinchesters

Summary: All Shane can ever do is long for his ghost-fearing best friend, and apparently be angsty about it until something finally happens.

Rated: T

Commentary: More pining for the soul, and some more deep POVs that sound like poetry, this time from Shane’s view. Also, this fic talks about my city in such good light, I had to love it a bit more.

Removing the Mask by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Shane doesn't believe in luck. But even he has to admit it's a damn good coincidence that he got stuck sleeping in the same bed as Ryan that night.

Rated: G

Commentary: Kids, sometimes when we want to be funny, we end up almost giving our crush a heartattack. But for real, this fic is super tender and I love it.

Panem et Circenses by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: “As a reminder that even the strongest among you cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, on this, the third Quarter Quell games, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors from each district-”

Shane felt his world fall away. A cold numbness coursed through his body. His heart leapt in his throat while his stomach dropped to his feet. If not for Ryan beside him, he would have given into his urge to vomit.

Rated: M

Commentary: I was never a Hunger Games kind of girl but I did read the books, this crossover is super interesting and holy shit, it’s savage as fuck. I love it.

~ Multichapters

Someone to Stay by carrieonfighting

Summary: Ryan can't sleep at night, and Shane is an enigma

Rated: T

Chapters: 2/2

Commentary: Oh, man. This two-chapters fic is something else. There is a part in which Ryan puts holy water on Shane’s coffee because he can’t believe the things that are happening between them. The denial is real. Also, it’s just very good.

Me and You by SaturnineMartial

Summary: "Have you ever thought about getting married?""That's a loaded question if I ever heard one.""Never mind, forget I said anything."

Rated: M

Chapters: 2/2

Commentary: The start of a series I’m very interested in. This lovely fic has all I love in my fluff: love, cuteness, marriage proposals and sweet lovemaking.

Foolish Mortal by ghostwheeze

Summary: After a demon encounters a teenage Ryan Bergara on-board the Queen Mary, the spirit decides to follow the entertaining boy around, eventually possessing a vessel to spend even more time with the kid. When they both land their own show where they investigate the paranormal, the demon - Shane - takes glee in watching Ryan try to interact with spirits. If only he knew there was one right next to him.

Rated: T

Chapters: 8/8

Commentary: I will be forever in love with this fic and that one chapter when we got Ryan’s POV and we saw how he came into an understanding of who Shane is, and then-- he found out the truth. This is an mazing fic, a classic in the fandom, and you HAVE to read it.

Oblivion by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Tragic consequences typically follow when a god falls in love with a human. Typically...

Based on the comment:"My theory is that Shane is the devil and was just super bored. Then one day he chanced upon a poor scared Ryan and thought “this is pretty fun” and now follows him to supernatural sights to have a giggle at his expense. But that’s also why they never capture anything on video, because the evil spirits and demons know Shane for who he really is and are too afraid to mess with him."

Rated: E

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: One of the best AUs out there. Since the beginning, it traps you into the narrative and the way Shane is characterized. The story between him and Ryan is beautiful, this is literally soulmates without it being an AU, they are damn mean to be. This fic is the literal meaning of eternal love.

The Great Heist Of Shane Madej by Cat (ActualBuckyBarnes)

Summary: Have you ever wanted to run away?

Ryan Bergara, local troublemaker and scoundrel, has his whole world turned upside down when he finds out that his best friend, Shane Madej, is being abused by his parents. Ryan spends the next four years of his life trying to get Shane away from his family - but what happens when they finally make it?

A story about being lost, and then being found again.

Rated: M

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: While I haven’t finished reading this because life is kicking my ass, I’m enjoying it a lot. As an abuse survivor, these are nice things to read.

You're Just What I Needed by doctorkaitlyn

Summary: In which Ryan and Shane first meet (and make out) at a party on the final day of the semester, officially fall for each other over the course of a summer spent two thousand miles apart, and then make out some more, all while having spirited debates about ghosts, cryptids, and whether or not Medieval Times is awesome.

(Spoiler alert: they agree to disagree on all of the above.)

Rated: T

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: This fic is lovely and warm, I love the way their relationship starts and how it develops as the chapters keep going. It’s a lot of fun to read.

The Ghost Of You Is Close To Me by skepticseptic

Summary: Character A is a spirit medium that has the ability to see and communicate with spirits – the problem with this is that Character A has started to develop a crush on Character B, one of the friendlier spirits that comes to visit Character A.

Rated: T

Chapters: 2/2

Commentary: While this may not have a proper happy ending, I still think it’s happy and sweet. Ghost Shane is… adorable. You’ll see.

Don’t Want it Troubling Your Mind by Crimsonflowerz

Summary: Shane Madej really liked Ryan Bergara. He was funny, a joy to mess with, and took his brand of teasing pretty well. He would consider him a friend, kind of. But when the team goes to investigate the Franklin Castle for ghosts, Shane gets more than he bargained for, and the results could cost him his friendship with Ryan.

Rated: T

Chapters: 7/7

Commentary: One thing that makes this fic so original in its own is the fact that it has such a… charming demon. Anael is fuckig funny, he a bitch-- but so funny. He is evil and you hate him for doing all he does to Shane, the way he plays with his mind, and the three final chapters are just– horrible. But yeah, this fic.. it’s gooood. Also, ace!Shane.

Office Space by skepticalghouligan

Summary: The construction really was only supposed to take a few weeks on Ryan’s office. And it would have - it was a simple expansion and paint job. That was, until Shane Madej got brought onto the project. It only took two days (and three near misses) for Ryan to believe Shane may be trying to kill him. But could it be something else?

Rated: E

Chapters: 19/19

Commentary: Like I said before, this author is one of my favorites and in part it’s because of how well planned and build his fics are. This wonderful story is such a funny yet deep AU I love with all I am.

Hey, nude by y00ti

Summary: Shane drunkenly tries to send a nude to some guy he met on tinder. It doesn’t go as planned.

Rated: Not Rated (I would say T)

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: I had so much fun reading this fic. I first read it here on tumblr and soon the author posted it on AO3 and it’s glorious. All the pining and the sexual tension... You will laugh a lot.

The Department of Unsolved Cases by trailsofpaper (Sanwall)

Summary:  Ryan Bergara hasn’t been an FBI agent for long, but he’s seen enough inexplicable things during his career to know there’s more to the world than meets the eye. He comes up against the stubbornly skeptic Shane Madej, head of the Unsolved Cases department - the basement where low-priority cases go to die.

The case of possible alien abductions and UFO sightings become top-priority very soon however, and Ryan starts to think that maybe Shane has a reason for wanting to stay on the Unsolved Cases even though he used to have a very promising FBI career in front of him.

Come to think of it, maybe Ryan also has his reasons for wanting to stay by Shane’s side even when things get rocky.

Rated: M

Chapters: 10/10

Commentary: I’m on chapter three of this one, and so far, so good. It’s a great adaptation of The X Files and the boys characterization is very good. I’m liking it a lot…

Lost Buttons by Trash4bears

Summary: They have somewhat platonic sex in a haunted place it's as simple as that

Rated: E

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: There’s nothing platonic about this fanfic, lmao. It’s hot, super dirty, but hot. Chapter three has some of the best positions I’ve read ina while. And dialogues are amazing.

Maelstrom by thewindupbird

Summary: Here’s the thing about driving halfway across the country to see someone. You can’t really deny, after that, that you’re pretty much head over heels for them.

Rated: E

Chapters: 11/11 (complete)

Commentary: Again, I haven’t finished this fic but everyone loves it and I trust the fandom’s good taste. Beides, I read the series before this fic, and they are amazing. I can’t wait to have time and read this; but so far (chapter 4), it’s really good. I aspire to be this good.

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[mona-stay]

The Student Vs The Master - Peter Hale

Request by anonymous in Tumblr Pairing - Peter Hale x reader Warnings - swearing, fighting, blood Story -

The past

I was 8 years old when I had first met Deucalion. I stood on the edge of the woods watching horrified as my alpha killed the pack including, my mother, father and big brother. I hadn’t seen their murder on the bodies on the ground as the alpha killed our final pack mate. Running deep into the woods till I couldn’t run or breathe anymore, stopped and sat crying at the base of a tree.

A voice made me look up, the older wolf offered his hand out. “what’s wrong, why is a little wolf like you out here crying” he asked smoothly. “he killed them, he killed them all” I said with a tear stained face. After telling him what I had seen, Deucalion offered me a place in his pack, and protection. Sadly agreed knowing I didn’t have anywhere else to go and an omega wolf my age won’t last a month alone. 

Within the next few years Deucalion taught me everything he could, how to control the shifts, how to fight, hunt and kill. By the time I turned 13 I followed Deucalion without questioning his ideas like a trained puppet. We came across your old alpha the one who killed my family. Deucalion was the one to tell me to kill him “get revenge for your family and take the power he stole from them.” I did it not thinking twice my blue eyes turned as red as the blood on my hands.

Deucalion couldn’t of planned it better a young pup with nothing and all to eager to please her savoir and that’s how he made me, by reminding me what I would be without him, nothing. I was his best and most willing soldier he still had a soft spot for me caring like he wasn’t with the others. I was a daughter he never had, that was until the day I left him. when I was about 19 I had found out the truth thanks to a jealous Kali who wanted me gone to be his new right hand wolf. Deucalion was the one who made my former alpha kill the pack and family. I also found out it had been planned for me to join him before my family was dead. he wanted a wolf born child to make a killer, to be the faithful beta I was. by this time he was building his alpha pack and i finally started to see him as the monster he was. so I ran leaving the pack an finding a way to live on my own.

present time 

now 20 I’d been trying to start a normal-ish life, but it hadn’t worked like I hoped so gave myself a new life mission. one day Deaton a vet in beacon hills and emissary told me about Deucalion being in beacon hills. He somehow knew I was after the Wolf and said he could help me help his friends, I couldn’t stand around doing nothing that had been my goal for the last year to find and kill the demon wolf. I had watched and helped him destroy packs before and couldn’t let him do it to this one especially knowing Talia hale in the past, she’d offered me a home with her when I was 10. But I refused Deucalion had already gotten his claws into my mind, I felt I should help her son after she’d once offered me help. After getting the address to the hale loft I went. 

Outside the hear the sounds of a fight could be heard. When I got to the open door I saw Deucalion’s pack along with the pack I was here to help and from the first glimpse they needed it. Looking I saw Ennis throw a young curly haired boy across the room into the wall, Kali had hold of a pole through Derek’s back and chest Deucalion crouched over him. The twins had another wolf, one twin keeping the wolfs arms behind his back while the other twin had his claws on the older wolfs throat. 

Making a snap decision, I throw my mobile as hard as at the twin knocking him out. The whole room froze looking at me,  changing my eyes making then glow alpha red. Kali pulled the pole from Derek’s body growling, I flicked my claws out ready to fight her. Deucalion roared for her to stop, he stood up walking toward me. Derek holding his chest crawled to Issac at the side of the loft. Everyone was still Deucalion’s pack looked nervous while the rest looked confused. “finally come back to where you belong, back to the pack, your family y/n” he said smirked saying the words. I felt a growl leave my chest. Stepping down the couple of steps to face him “I don’t have family or a pack! Not anymore” I snap back still flicking my eyes round at the rest of the packs, I could sense there nerves, anger, curiosity. Making me feel on edge. Deucalion laughed “what come to try and fit in with this pathetic pack” he asked circling me stirring with his alpha eyes “or have you come here with different intentions” he ask more quizzical, but knowing he was right. 

I know he was baiting me the way he walked round, and the words he chose. I also know how to play him, “ive come to stop you ripping apart another pack”.  he laughed more, “you really think you can beat me, y/n don’t be silly I taught you everything you know, I know what your going to do before you do it, I raised you remember” he added emphasis on the word remember roaring it out. I  swallow hard now feeling intimated by him trying not to let it show. “how about a bet or game shall we say” my voice stayed calm and steady which I was thankful for. I knew he couldn’t turn down a challenge especially in front of his pack. I watched him think it over your eyes still watching the room. 

By now Derek and his beta where by the wall Ennis and kali stood where Deucalion stood originally before his vulture circling, the twin I hit with the phone was still on the floor. His brother had let go of the handsome wolf. The was something about his natural blue eyes that made my heart skip. The sound of Deucalion’s voice made me stop stirring “and what is this game you have in mind” he asked. “me against you! One on one and if I beat you, your pack leaves and never comes back they split go there own was or I’ll kill them all” I stated boldly. I could hear the snigger come from both Deucalion and Kali, “and if I win this little fight what do I get” he asked.

This was where I’d hit a snag in your plan I didn’t have much to offer him really so playing to what I knew best “me, or my life anyway. You win and ether you can kill me and do whatever or I come back to the pack do what you say no questions asked like the old days” I said playing to his dominant ego “you know I was the best beta you had” I laughed at the growl coming from Kali. After a few minutes he hadn’t spoken “how about one last lesson sir” I know the word sir you make him agree, it was something he made you call him during training and it had stuck, but you also knew by saying the words he wouldn’t resist.  

He roared loud shifting his face, Kali, Ennis and the twins now the other was awake all gave small supporting growls. I met his challenge roaring loudly too shifting into my own full alpha wolf side, what I didn’t expect was the handsome wolf to roar with me “well it looks like you do have a pack after all y/n” Kali smiled looking at the Wolf. 

I didn’t have any time to think about them, Deucalion ran me swinging his cane, the point caught my arm leaving a tiny scratch. I stepped back before attacking him, catching his arm. I played weak to start letting him get and connect well planned hits. He was the type of guy who got sloppy as he got cocky I wanted him like that thinking he has control until I decided to take it away.

*** Peter pov ***

I was held by the twins as Deucalion tried to convince Derek into killing his pack and joining Deucalion. After Derek said no, and I’d tried to fight my way out Deucalion ordered Ethan to kill me “he’s not even in this pack so get rid of him” the words rang in my head as I thought of a way out of this. Ethan claws wrapped round my throat, when I saw him drop to the floor I looked to see the most incredible, gorgeous girl stood in the door way.

As she entered the loft the smell of anger, hate and a hint of fear hit my nose as I watched her challenge him. something about her turned me on, she looked at me I felt my heart pound at the sight of her. I lost my self looking her up and down her tight skinny jeans flat back boots and loose vest top. I know it wasn’t the ideal time for checking out the mysterious girl but she had my attention along with the rest if the room. 

“and if I win” I heard Deucalion say snapping me back out of my daydream. It took me a minute to work out what I had missed in there conversation. I watched him shift into what he called the demon wolf hid pack growling. Watching y/n she had no pack no back up, Derek and Issac both kept there heads down I felt bad for the little alpha, until she roared back. They sound went through me I could feel the vibrations in my body, without being able to stop myself I roared with her. We both look at each other with a hint of confusion when I see her eye flick from me to Deucalion’s pack and back again. 

He launched at her starting in their agreed battle, I watched her intently the way she moved, attacked twisted and turned her body. At first she didn’t look at good as her confidence sounded Deucalion getting in some nasty blows. I wanted to run to her fight with her, my head telling myself why she’s just a girl you don’t know. Y/n got hit hard in the face sending her back as she hit the floor by my feet, looking up at me she smiled winking. I couldn’t help think this was going her way the looked at me I couldn’t explain but she didn’t look defeated.  

“I thought I taught you better then that y/n” he growled as she got to her feet. Her expression was different now, like she was annoyed and flustered but I couldn’t help feel after the wink this was fake, a show for Deucalion. I watched the fight in front of me, as she started to fight back with an amazing skill. It was like watching a kung-fu movie. She had moves I’d never seen before.

*** y/n pov***

Everything was working out, well except for the new wolf who I couldn’t keep my eyes off. He was proving to be a slight distraction. Deucalion was now slowing and easing his attacks, trying to tell me corrections like this was a lesson. “your to slow with your actions, you should know better then that.” soon I turned up my attacks surprising him when I clawed his chest deeply, using his cockiness against him. After what felt like a good half an hour I was tired, cut sore but willing to keep going. I could see Deucalion getting tired too. After a continued sequence of blocked attacks on both sides it was like nether of you was winning or losing the fight.

I caught him in the face with a kick, he jumped up from the floor grabbing his cane, “time to end this” he growled swiping it from left to right diagonally, then back again. Watching his pattern I grabbed the cane as it came down spinning round behind him trapping his arms with his own cane. My claws digging into his throat “I win” I whisper in his ear. He roared “kill them” I looked the whole thing was like slow motion. Kali smiled still holding the metal pole her eyes fixed on the Wolf with the blue eyes, she lifted it to throw it. I clawed Deucalion not hard enough to kill him then kicked him to the floor. Spinning round as fast as I could, I dived on the man pushing him out the way. “you okay” I asked on top of him, behind me I heard voices shout out “peter”. He nodded as we both got up, he flicked out his claws smiling at me. Smiling back “go” I ordered. He ran at the twins, Derek and his beta was on there feet as Ennis ran at them. I looked round for Deucalion ready to finish what I came to do.

Kali stood in the way, she had wanted this for a long time, a chance to fight you finally to prove who was the better wolf. The fight didn’t last long, I beat Kali quick slamming my claws into her ribs until she bled out, then focused on Deucalion. His wounds from my claws was still deep as he struggled standing up “let’s finish this y/n” he said. I smiled at him “happily.” This time you didn’t waste your time playing, you ran at him your fangs out. You let him run at you this time, when he was inches away you ducked grabbing his arm and crouch pushing him to the plaster post in the wall. You didn’t give him time to react or say anything witty you wanted this to end now! Biting hard on his throat ripping the flesh away.

***Peter pov ***

She saved me, y/n had her enemy in her claws and dropped him for me. My head span as she laid onto of me, nobody had ever tried to save my life before not even my own nephew. As she got up a fight between everyone broke out. She ran to Kali and Deucalion, I took on the twins wanting payback for earlier. A loud roar made us all stop and look y/n had Deucalion in her hands blood round her mouth, the loft fell silent the only sound was his body hitting the floor. She looked at Ennis and the twins “leave now” she said calmly, they quickly left taking their dead pack members with them. It wasn’t until they had gone and the adrenaline wore of on her, she stumbled back almost collapsing. Derek and I grabbed her, helping her to a chair. She smiled at me this time I truly saw her, not just the sexy badass alpha but beauty in her eyes, sweetness of her face, that quickly changed to a wince.

When I took my hand from her it was sticky and red. I lifted her top to see the true damage Deucalion had done to her. I ran to get the first aid box, outside I heard Derek talking to her.

***y/n pov***

Derek came close as the other man ran out the room. The younger beta stood a little back looking like he didn’t know what to do. “I’m Derek H… ” he started but I cut him off “Hale, I know we met once a long time ago” I smile. He looked confused the words how and when clear on his face. “your mother offered me home with her but I left with Deucalion like an idiot, you was there too, but a lot younger back then” Derek nodded “this is Isaac my beta” he pointed to the young curly haired boy who smiled and gave a small wave. My eyes went to the doorway where the other man went “and that’s my uncle Peter” he told me. As I told them how I had been brought up by Deucalion after he’d had my family killed and why I left his pack, Peter helped clean the claw marks on my back as I spoke.

Peter brought me a drink over, even though being a werewolf I couldn’t get drunk but I appreciated the gesture. I didn’t notice Derek and Isaac leave, leaving me alone with Peter. “thanks” I muttered taking the glass from him, “your welcome y/n” his voice was smooth and deep. “I think you’d need it the way your feeling” he said. I looked at him “I don’t think anybody knows what I’m feeling”

***Peter pov***

She asked me how did I know how she was feeling and to be honest I didn’t I could only guess. “you feel relieved for killing the monster who killed your family but also empty now you have no goal no life long mission to hunt him down, leaving you numb” she looked you at me I know I’d perked her interest. “your also feeling grief even though you hated Deucalion for what he did, he was still the closest thing to family you had, and now your feeling more alone” I didn’t mean it to sound so sassy and mean.

“I guess you understand more than I thought!” she sadly smiled at me. I sat closer to get putting my arms round her “but you didn’t have to be alone” I told her. I couldn’t understand why I was drawn to her, maybe it was because she saved my life or the lustful feeling I had but I wanted to know more about her.

***y/n pov*** We had been talking for ages, his comforting arm around me didn’t feel strange or out of place. After an hour we was laughing and joking I had almost forgotten about killing Deucalion. The only reminder was when I laughed to hard and the healing cuts would sting. Peter looked at me holding a serious face, “why did you save me before” he asked. “probably for the same reason you roared with me before the fight” I answered he’s expression looking more puzzled “I think it’s a pack thing I felt a connection with you and I was hoping if you want I’d like you to join me as my beta” you told him.

Peter closed the gap between us, using his hand to move my hair from my face. “I felt a connection too just I was thinking something more then a beta” he said as he cupped my cheeks bringing his lips inches away from mine, he looked into my eyes giving me chance to push him away. I didn’t instead I landed forward meeting his lips. Peter dominated the kiss pushing me back till my back hit the wall. When he pulled away he rested his head on my forehead “what do you say little Alpha, do you want me as more than just your beta” his tones was raspy and seductive, I couldn’t say no to him. Wrapping my arms around his neck I kissed him again. He ran his hands down my sides to my thighs tapping them, I jumped a little as he held me up my legs rounds his waist. Peter didn’t break the kiss instead carried me up the stairs to his room in the loft.

He was right I didn’t have to be alone anymore, I knew from now on I would always have Peter Hale by my side.

[agirlhasnonamehotd]

Happy Birth - Day

“Mark”.

It’s the dead of night. You look at your husband, dead asleep, and feel jealous. It’s been months since you’ve had a solid night’s sleep.

“Mark.”

This time he stirs; he turns over on his belly and sighs. A small wave of panic washes over you. How can he sleep in a wet bed?

“MARK!”

You scream so loud that he jumps. He sits up, eyes half open.

“Wha….what?” He asks through a yawn.

Instinctually he puts his hand down on the bed where you normally lay. As soon as he feels the dampness he looks around, confused.

“Babe,” he mumbles drowsily, “did you wet the bed?”

You glare. If looks could kill Mark would be six feet under.

“No, you jackass, my water broke.”

He takes a few minutes to process the words. You blame this on the fact that he’s still not coherent. It doesn’t make you feel any less annoyed.

“I…am…in…labor,” you say it nice and slow for him.

That he understands. That word triggers in him the paternal panic instinct. He looks down and then looks at you with wide eyes. You stand there with your hospital bag in hand, swollen belly ready to pop, and the crankiest, scariest face you’ve ever made. Mark goes from 0 to 100 instantly.

“OH MY GOD! IT’S TIME?!” he exclaims.

“Yes, you dope.”

Looking more like an Olympian than father-to-be, Mark catapults out of bed. He darts across the room for his jeans; falls over when he tries to pull up both legs at once. Instead of taking the shirt that’s beside them he pulls on one of yours. Pink, floral, and entirely too small. You don’t tell him. He shoves his feet into his sneakers, grabs his wallet, and his phone. There’s never even a glance in the mirror. His hair is sticking up in all directions.

“Okay, “ he rambles to himself, “we need to call your parents, my parents, the gang-“

“How about we go to the hosp-OWWWWW”

Your first contraction comes. No amount of reading or instruction in Lamaze prepares you for it. It’s pain: Sharp, searing pain as if a knife is slicing you open. You drop the bad hold onto the dress for dear life.

Your husband comes to your rescue. He’s immediately there, behind you, rubbing your back and encouraging you.

“In through your nose…and out slowly baby…deep breaths baby. That’s perfect.”

For the first time in this pregnancy, you’re scared. Scared of the pain. Scared of the process to come. You know you will have to put this aside to push eventually, but for now it feels as if it will consume you. You look back at Mark, terrified.

This is the best thing about him. As he notices your fear rising, he begins to calm down. For your sake. He takes your hand and lets you squeeze it hard; grits his teeth so you won’t know how much it hurts when your nails dig into his skin. The words of encouragement continue until the pain peaks and slowly ebbs away. When you can stand up straight again Mark starts the timer on his phone. You’ll need to share the timespan between contractions as soon as you’re admitted.

“Hospital. Now.” Is all you can manage.

Walking through the lobby is a dangerous experience. Mark is so worried about guiding you along that he nearly kills himself tripping over a chair. He limps along with you to the car and treats you as if you’re made of porcelain when he helps you with your seatbelt. The bad is thrown unceremoniously in the backseat and he scrambles in the driver’s side.

Lucky for you, the hospital is only a few miles away. Your odds of dying from Mark’s erratic driving are less because of this. However, when your next contraction starts he nearly veers off the road. You begin to silently pray.

The car comes to a screeching halt in front of the hospital’s automatic doors. Mark runs inside; returning alongside a nurse with a wheelchair. You’re perfectly capable of walking, but humor your overprotective spouse. He helps you into it and insists on pushing you. You warn him to slow down.

Once the paperwork is complete, you change into a thin gown and are instructed to lay in the narrow, rubbery hospital bed. The nurse starts an IV, asks questions about an epidural, and monitors the fetal heartrate. You remind her of the special arrangement you discuss with the doctor and she smile. Mark looks at you confused but says nothing (he knows better right now). She leaves briefly and returns with the doctor. OH goody. Now comes the “Fun”. As soon as your current contraction subsides he checks your cervix. Four centimeters. Active labor.  Also, time for you to decide on an epidural. You shake your head. Mark looks at you like you’re insane.

“Baby…are you sure?” he asks softly, “it’s gonna be inten-“

“I’m sure.” Is all you say.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Four hours later you’re no longer sure. In fact, you regret the decision. The doctors keep telling you you’re progressing fast; the delivery will be soon. Each time the pain eats away at you a little more. Soon. Soon. Soon. Numberless timelines frustrate you to no end.

There’s a waiting room full of people thanks to Mark. Both sets of parents come in to visit you. Your friends decide to wait until the baby comes.

“We don’t want to witness the murder of Mark…when he, you know, says something stupid,” Sereena says from the doorway.

Mark is nervous; you know it. But he refuses to tell you. He holds your hand and pushes your hair out of your face. He reminds you to breathe through your contractions. You’re cranky, hurting, and starting to lash out at him.

“Out slowly…slowly Dani”

“HOW ABOUT I SLOWLY PUT MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS?!”

You feel like you’re dying and the pressure… Lord the pressure is unbelievable. The contractions are coming so close you barely have time to recover. As the next one begins you scream, succumb to the exhaustion and pain, and begin to cry. Mark’s hand is at your mercy. You’re pretty sure you’ll break at least one finger by the end of this.

It’s late afternoon when it’s finally time. The doctor comes in and check you. And when he says the words you know.

“Mrs. Collins you are fully dilated and completely effaced,” he declares, “ready to have this baby.”

Yes and no cross your mind at the same time. You nod. The nurse helps the doctor suit up and when his mask and protective glasses are on he turns to Mark.

“Alright, Dad,” he says, “your turn to get ready”.

The nurse carries the same smock and cap the doctor wears. You see Mark stare quizzically.

“ Get ready for what…wait is all that stuff going to splatter everywhere when the baby comes out?!” he exclaims in alarm and disgust.

“MARK!”

“Sorry!” he immediately says, “I just didn’t know it would be SO messy-“

Killing your husband for this stupidity would probably be pardoned since you are in labor. Yet, you know what you are about to tell him will impact him in a way that will change him forever.

“Mark,” you say through gritted teeth, “I want you to help deliver.”

It’s an instant reaction. His knees buckle and the nurse throws a hand out to steady him. He blinks, his lip trembles, and he whispers to you.

“You’re sure?”

Yes. You’ve been sure since day one. You had this discussion with the doctor months ago.  Daddy should be the first one to hold his baby; not a doctor. Even if it’s brief. The nurse busies herself with pulling on the smock and covering his hair. Mark just stares at you through it all. Wonder. Amazement. Adoration. He gazes at you like you’re a beautiful goddess instead of an exhausted woman giving birth.

“I love you,” is all he can manage.

“Okay Mark,” the doctor begins, “you’re gonna help hold Dani’s leg  until the baby’s halfway out. Then you will stand in my spot and guide the baby the rest of the way out of the canal. I will be right here to help…”

Many dumbstruck nods later they pull you down on the bed. A nurse and Mark stand on either side of you. They pull your legs back; Mark rests your foot on his shoulder to give you leverage. In any normal circumstance laying there in that position, with your lady parts out for the world to see, would be humiliating. Today? You just want to push. You want this to be over.

It’s time.

The doctors told you it would feel like a bowel movement. Bullshit. At least, not like any normal dump. Today you feel like you’re crapping out a watermelon. The pain is indescribable, but you know to make it stop you have to keep going. One push, break, two push, break…and then… you don’t want breaks anymore. You scream so hard your whole body shakes. Then the doctor calls over you.

“STOP! Dad, it’s showtime!”

And that means the end is near. Mark and the doctor exchange positions. Another nurse steps in to hold your leg. He looks up at you with eyes as big as saucers.

“You are incredrible.”

Those are his last words before the doctor shows him how to grab the baby. When he’s ready the nurse tells you to go. One more push. You feel what can only be explained as a pop, a whooshing sensation of liquid, and you hear crying. Your head slumps back on the bed and you cry. Tears of joy? Exhaustion? Relief? Probably all of the above. When you open your eyes Mark is cradling a small pink bundle in his arms. You see a smattering of copper hair and two perfect little feet. And then he tells you. Voice trembling, tears streaming out from under the protective eyewear.

“It’s a girl.”

Mark’s world has changed. He holds her through the cord cutting; he holds her until the nurse has to pry her out of his arms to weigh her. Once she’s gone he rips off his gear and rushes to your side. Below the doctor sets to work on you but you hardly feel a thing. You stare at your husband and he stares back.  Crying. He takes your hand and kisses you everywhere. Your sweaty forehead. Lips. Cheeks. Even eyelids.

“Dani…I love you so much…I …we…”

Fresh tears flow down his face and you reach over to wipe them away.

“Alright Momma…you ready to see this beauty?”

Nine months ago, when you first took the pregnancy test, you were ready to see the baby. Now, the wait is over. The nurse brings her over and unwraps her. You pull your gown down and lay your daughter against your skin.

You always thought your life was full with Mark. It was…

But this is what it was like to feel complete. She lays over your heart, a little fussy. As soon as she hears your heartbeat it subsides.  You look down at her and she looks up at you. Daddy’s hair, Daddy’s face. Daddy’s eyes. You feel like you will explode with happiness.

“She’s perfect, “you choke out through the tears.

“She’s ours,” Mark stifles a sob, “Thank you.”

You look up at him with confusion.

“Thank you for loving me, for being my wife. For making me a Dad.”

He laughs and wipes his eyes with tears. Then he chuckles again.

“I’m a Daddy,” he says a little louder. The medical staff in the room just smile.

In that moment you fall in love with Mark. A different kind of  love. The purest love two humans can share. The love of being parents. Together.

*~*~*~*~*

Sophie Eleanor Collins.

Your families are the first visitors to see her. Both of your moms cry and patiently take turns holding Sophie. Your dad claps Mark on the back while his Dad shakes his hand. They don’t stay long, but you know they’ll be back tomorrow. And you know they’ll be there when you take Sophie home. You also know they’ll probably hold her more than you in the upcoming weeks – and you won’t have much choice in the matter.

Your friends are troopers. They come in with gifts and balloons. For the first time in his life Cole is rendered incapable of perversity. He hugs Mark tight and simply says “She’s incredible, man.” Brooke cries, Sereena manages a natural smile when she holds Sophie. Ben, watches over Sereena’s shoulder happily. Then he leans over and kisses your cheek.

Eventually the nurses chase your friends out so you can rest. The room goes quiet. Mark comes to sit by your side. He nuzzles his face against yours.

“How are you Momma?” he asks.

“Beyond exhausted.”

SO much so that your eyes close at the mention of it. You take a deep breath; feel Mark adjust the pillows behind your head. There’s a rustle beside you, a pair of lips on your forehead, and one final declaration before you fall asleep.

“You and Sophie are the best things that have ever happened to me.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sometime either very late at night our early in the morning you wake to sound. Talking. Very soft, gentle talking. It’s Mark. It’s coming from the rocking chair in the corner. You open one eye, spy Mark sitting there rocking Sophie back in forth. You strain and are finally successful at hearing what he’s saying.

“You know Sophie,” He murmurs, “I didn’t think I could love anyone as much as I love your Momma…you changed that today…you are the most incredible thing Mom and I have ever done.”

Sophie fusses in his arms. He moves his arms and starts to hum until she settles back into slumber.

“There you go, angel…this is how it will always be…every nightmare, scraped knee…and someday broken heart…Daddy will be here. I will always protect you.”

This is it. This is your wonderful world. Not perfect, but whole. Full of more love than most people will ever get to experience. You smile and let yourself sleep.

 Today you learn Heaven does exist on Earth.

[dont-sneeze]

all of them

[viralhottopics]

We’re very close. We couldn’t not be: the secret to a friendly divorce

This month sees a spike in couples filing for divorce, many of them vowing to stay friends. But is it really possible or worth the pain?

A few weeks ago, a man came to stay at my house and he and I made so much noise at 1am that we feared we might wake the children. The next morning at breakfast, we had to explain ourselves and apologise.

The man was my ex-husband, and he was telling me an anecdote in the early hours that had us both in fits of laughter. We separated in January 2009, and divorced a year later. He has since remarried, and lives in another city, but often comes to visit our three teenage sons. We have spent several Christmases, Easters and birthdays together.

If liking and being nice to your former partner is the essence of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martins conscious uncoupling, it could be said that my ex-husband and I are living that dream. In the three years since they announced their much-ridiculed approach to family life and relations post-marriage, the idea of the friendly divorce has become increasingly mainstream. As Helena Bonham Carter said of Tim Burton, her former husband of 13 years, I think well have something very precious still. Actor Kate Beckinsale is so friendly with her ex Michael Sheen (the father of their daughter) that shes often seen hanging out with him and his girlfriend, Sarah Silverman.

And then theres the rise of the divorce selfie, taken outside the courtroom, showing smug ex-marrieds beaming away together in the spirit of a bright future ahead of them (with a caption such as We smile not because its over but because it happened). January traditionally sees a spike in calls to family lawyers from couples wishing to uncouple. The first question for many is: can you really have a happy split?

Divorce coach Carol Sullivan thinks so. She runs Divorce Negotiator, which operates throughout England and Wales. Unlike solicitors who represent the separate parties, Sullivan assists both husband and wife and, to stop the escalation, maintains transparency between them. She claims to save a typical couple 80% of the cost of going to a solicitor, and 50% of their time. So far, she has helped more than 1,000 couples, many of whom apologise to each other and go out for drinks despite their decree nisi.

People are doing divorce differently that is, better, Sullivan says. They are more aware that the only winners are the lawyers, and bitterness and vengeance dont get anybody anywhere.

Of course, most people would say theyd like to divorce well, at least in theory, usually for the sake of any children involved. But, in practice, anger and hurt usually muddy the waters.

I am insufferably smug about what my ex-husband and I have managed to pull off, but I wont pretend it was instant. The parting of the ways was painful beyond anything I had ever experienced, but we managed to sort out our financial affairs and living arrangements ourselves. A lawyer friend kindly did the essential paperwork for both of us. We never went to court, and our whole divorce cost 90. Eight years have since passed, and time has done its cliched but excellent bit in terms of healing. Rancour has been and gone, leaving all the things we liked about each other in the first place: enjoyment of each others company, great communication, affection and respect. Plus all the things we have together accumulated over the years, namely three great boys, an important shared history and the recognition that prolonged bitterness eats away at people and benefits nobody.

Its difficult, but this approach is becoming more common. I have a friend whose husband went off with another woman. After her shock and anger subsided, she had him to stay with his new girlfriend several times, and even took coffee up to them in the morning. (Talk about forgiveness.) It was nice for the kids to see I was accepting of her with him, she tells me. I liked him. I liked her. She says she didnt indulge in any power play, at least not consciously.

The prevailing view is that good relations benefit the children, if you have them. Phyllis Maguire-Harrington, 33, is a carer and nursery manager. She sees many families who arent amicable, which has only compounded her belief that friendly divorce is vital even when she found out, three years into their marriage, that her husband had been unfaithful.

It hurt massively, she says now, but our daughter is my world. Even though I ended the marriage there and then, and never once wavered, I always spoke to him and let him see her. My daughter deserves both parents.

There was no court case. The same lawyer represented them both. It was all their own terms; he just did the paperwork. Her ex-husband has exactly the same parental rights as she does.

The couple, both from Wokingham, met at a bowling alley in their early 20s. Kieran Harrington, 35, remembers that she started dancing and I thought, wow! He found her generous, with a lot of time for others. Phyllis says she is very energetic, while Kieran was very chilled and happy to go along with anything she threw at him. They married in 2008 and separated in 2011, when their daughter was a year old.

To be brutally honest, I cheated on her, Kieran says. Its one of those things I cant explain. It was nothing she ever did or didnt do. When she found out, she went ballistic. Id never seen her like that. I deserved it. I tried to get her back, but eventually knew it was hopeless.

It was complicated, Phyllis says, because in September 2007 he had a brain haemorrhage and that altered him. Kieran says that, although he doesnt remember being tempted before the brain haemorrhage, it is nonetheless too easy an excuse. Either way, he says, the two flings with colleagues were a huge mistake. Initially, he says, there was some nastiness from Phyllis, but then it went away.

For a long time I wanted him to be my Kieran, Phyllis says, but he had changed. After the brain haemorrhage, I became more like a carer. I knew he was no longer fully in control of himself, and a psychologist told us he was never going to change. I had a baby and couldnt live like that any more, the suspicious wife.

The divorce came through in December 2014 and Kieran, a prison custody officer, now lives with his father and sister. He and Phyllis still see each other most days, and go on holiday together. They took Erin, now five, to Disneyland Paris for new year and glamping in Cornwall. Neither has another partner.

I did for a while, Phyllis says, and he and Kieran accepted each other, but he wanted to get married and I didnt. I think Kieran put me off for life, she laughs.

These days, Kieran confides in Phyllis about dates and she gives him advice. He admits hed like to get back together with her, but knows thats never going to happen; he also knows that it could all have been very different had Phyllis not been so forgiving. I could have lost a lot more, he says. As it is, the friendship we have having a laugh, watching movies together, sharing a bottle of wine when the little one is asleep is the best I can hope for, given Id still like to be married to her. Ill be a little bit jealous when shes with someone else, but I messed up, so I havent a leg to stand on. Im grateful Ive got this much and know we will be friends for life.

Phyllis agrees: Were very close. We couldnt not be, after all weve been through. But the divorce was the right decision. Would I get back with him? Never. Hes not the man I fell in love with.

***

Specialist family lawyer Peter Martin has been practising at London firm OGR Stock Denton for 40 years, and has worked with thousands of couples. In his experience, roughly 25-30% of couples are able to be friends afterwards, and its not always to protect the children. In some ways, it is easier for couples without children to stay friends, Martin says. Once the finances are sorted out, they are able to get on with their lives. They can become friends again, because they no longer have any pressures on them.

On the other hand, Martin says, couples without children have less reason to stay in touch. Those with children have to continue to communicate, and they are more likely, because of that, to rebuild a friendship. A forced friendship, because of having children, often develops in time into the real thing. Its the sort of thing I see a lot Im thinking of the first dance of a divorced couple as parents at their childs wedding.

Barry Rutter, 69, an actor, is founder and artistic director of Northern Broadsides, a touring company. He credits his ex-wife, Carol, 65, a professor of Shakespeare and performance studies at the University of Warwick, with their excellent relationship after nearly 20 years of marriage and 20 years of divorce. She credits him with not forcing her and their girls out of their home. You can be vengeful and angry and selfish and do all that stuff, Carol says. All those ugly emotions you can keep up for years, but thats just destructive.

The couple met while Barry was on tour in America in 1976. She, with her Californian chutzpah, came backstage to congratulate me, he says.

He had the tight curls of a Raphael angel and a boxers nose, she says. He was bolshie, challenging: a Yorkshireman. Everything around him was different and new.

She moved to England a year later, and they soon married. Their shared passion meant they always had things to talk about. Briony was born in 1982; their son, Harry, two years later, but he died from cot death aged just 98 days. Barrys support in the aftermath made Carol feel an overwhelming sense that our marriage could survive; how amazing it was that he could love me that much.

When he set up his own company, Barry was working so hard, Carol says, I think he started kind of shifting. Rowan, their younger daughter, was four. Carol had a full-time job at the university and Barry came home wanting shiny faces. There was a gap. It was, Barry says, a build-up of events, which I took to be a diminution between us. And my own restlessness. The cliche: the grass is always greener. The official divorce says adultery, but it is never as simple as that. I didnt fall in love, but I was distracted.

Barry says it was raw. I remember we met in the garden shed and she asked what I wanted, and I said all of my freedom to roam, and yet the home and family. It was a stupid, macho, dumb attitude to have. It was my folly. You make choices, and choices can bite.

How did I come back from that? Carol says. I went to see a divorce person who said dont fight, its not worth it; work it out between you. I was able to keep the man separate from the actor and, little by little, the birth of our three children, the death of our son, those things you shared, count. They represent the real core values of you two as people, as against the accidents of making bad decisions.

Barry says it was entirely Carols leading that set them on the footing they are on today. Its got to be about the future: I remember her saying that. I myself didnt have it in me to come up with anything like that. Its a testament to her. Id hope she is my best friend. Shes kept the name [Rutter]. Ive always been rather pleased about that.

These days, their daughters are both married, and they still see each other at least once a month and speak often. Carol goes to watch her ex-husband perform. She says he is perhaps better at expressing his emotions on stage, but he always made her laugh off it, and always will.

Tara Saglio has been a couples and individual psychotherapist for two decades. She believes that most divorced couples have to experience a period of proper separation before they can actively be friends again. As a generalisation, I think it takes five years for people to settle post-divorce, she says. It helps if both parties have reached a point where they can feel equally content, instead of one being miserable and the other blissfully loved-up with a new partner or even of one being blissfully alone and the other in a less than ideal rebound relationship. The chance of friendship depends on the emotional maturity of both parties. In my experience, Saglio adds, it is usually the couples for whom the passion has dwindled or gone, and who dont feel so betrayed or rejected, who can be friends. Sexual rejection or broken trust can skewer things.

Facebook, Instagram and so on can make it harder for couples to move on. Of course, social media always presents a happy if not idealised picture of everyones lives, Saglio says. It is hard to separate fully while having ones nose rubbed in the exs new life. On the upside, technology can be a force for good, depending on how it is used. It makes continued contact quicker and easier. A text or email is more emotionally distant than a face-to-face or phone conversation. A bit of a barrier can be a good thing.

Resolution is an organisation of family law professionals that promotes nonconfrontational divorce settlements. Nigel Shepherd, its national chair, says that avoiding unnecessary argument demands a shift of perspective: By nonconfrontational, we mean focusing on what is required for the future, as opposed to getting stuck in what happened in the past. A Resolution survey found that 90% of cases settle without a judge.

Current divorce law doesnt exactly help people to remain friendly: unless former couples are prepared to wait for two years once they have separated, they have no option but to cite adultery, unreasonable behaviour or (admittedly rarely) desertion on the paperwork. Resolution believes that a couple should be allowed to divorce simply if they think the marriage has broken down, a so-called no-fault divorce, and are lobbying for change. The current process, which pushes the majority into blame, often against their will, can really put the spanner in the works, Shepherd says.

***

Businesswoman Sarah Bevan never lost sight of the fact that she wanted to retain her friendship with her husband, Tim, despite her deep sadness when their marriage came to an end. We were originally friends, and I wanted very strongly to maintain that for the greater good of our family, she says. We always had a lot of fun and we managed to retain that.

Sarah, who is now single and in her 40s, lives in south London, and is setting up her own company. Tim, 50, the MD of a packaging and design company, lives in Hove. The pair met at work in London and married in 1994. They have three teenage children. The friendship was overriding in the relationship, Tim says. Any other issues were put to one side. Thats what carried us. But then I started to do better in my career, which made me more confident and, when other possibilities presented themselves, I was weak enough to succumb.

It was 2004. He admitted he was having an affair (not his first); they finally parted in 2005 and divorced in 2011. Tim says he walked away with two pictures, a stereo and a pink tea towel.

There were no lawyers, and nothing on paper; money was divided according to their own agreement. The divorce cost 560. Rather than argue in court, he wanted Sarah and the children to have a home and security. He credits their friendship today to his ex-wifes openness and strength, and thinks they have both pulled off something pretty extraordinary. According to Tim, both realise they are not going to be jumping into bed with each other again, but hopes theyll be best friends for life.

Shes currently offering me advice on cholesterol, he laughs. Shes still got my back! It helped that neither of them slagged each other off to the children. The family has a group chat online most days and he visits them every Tuesday for a curry evening.

There were phases of extreme anger and massive hurt, Sarah says, but even though hes certainly a difficult character, I love him and we hug and say we love each other. He remains an important part of her life, all the more so because her parents died recently in tragic circumstances. As Tim says, that focused everyone on whats important.

Despite everything weve put each other through, Tim says, weve come out of it. We will be sitting in our deckchairs in 30 years time with our mint tea, looking at the children, and thinking, Weve done good.

How to divorce well

1. Slow down. Reactive decisions are usually bad ones; if you are feeling hurt, or have just discovered your partner with someone else, dont take any legal action until the red mist has gone.

2. Try to be rational. Going through a separation is highly emotional, but try to put that to one side and sit down with a neutral party with the aim of making sensible decisions. Remember that you loved the other person once.

3. Decide on your priorities. More often than not one of the biggest goals is to move on with your life with your dignity intact. The more amicable the divorce, the quicker it will be over, leaving you to get on with the next chapter of your life. It is also a lot cheaper.

4. Go to a good family lawyer. Find a family specialist committed to working out solutions as amicably as possible and in a way that will preserve your relationship with your spouse.

5. Expect a big change in your lifestyle. Your life is going to change dramatically; being shocked by this can often lead to resentment and breed conflict. Your partners life will be changing, too, and they will have the same problems adjusting as you are. Yes, really.

6. Dont do it the celebrity way. You dont have to fight dirty to get the best result in fact, judges will frown upon it when making their settlement.

7. Dont listen to your friends. Turn to them for emotional support but remember that every marriage is different and every divorce is different. Just because friends think it is a good idea, doesnt mean it is.

8. Be the bigger person. Even if your nearly ex is trying to play dirty, dont rise to the bait. It is easier said than done, but I often hear from people who, years later, regret that they allowed themselves to be brought down to that level.

9. Think about divorce before you get married. What will your situation be if things dont work out? Consider how your partner is likely to behave in those circumstances as well. Think about a prenuptial agreement realism does not have to be anti-romantic.

10. If you have children, be nice for their sake. It is only in the most exceptional circumstances that it is not in the childrens interests for their parents to remain friendly.

Peter Martin, family lawyer, OGR Stock Denton

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from We’re very close. We couldn’t not be: the secret to a friendly divorce