#they look like theyre constantly on the verge of tears and for that i am absolutely smitten

[ollieverwooo]

do you ever become so obsessed with someone else's OC as if theyve had their own series or some shit that it's not even funny

[omiscurls]

hi! (this request is heavily inspired by a kdrama i just watched called sweet home lmao) could i request a childe x gn reader fic where childe and the reader r both severely injured and the reader had to kill someone for self defense and as theyre running away the reader feeling super guilty is like “i’m so terrible i killed someone” and childe is trying to comfort them and they find a place to rest while being both on the verge of death and the reader is like “i killed someone, i’m so scared that it’ll be my last memory”and the childe is like “try to forget abt it it’s ok” and the reader is like “u don’t think abt either too” (yk implying like oh don’t think abt the ppl you’ve killed before childe, bc im assuming he’s killed a lot of ppl) and he’s like ok with a sad smile and they die together in each other’s arms holding hands?)/?:))2 help this is wayyy to detailed i’m sry but if u want the reference scene it’s from this video , they show the specific scene in time stamps 0:57-2:56 again i’m so sorry if this is too detailed or if u don’t wanna write it!!! tysm <3

memory

a/n oh my god that is just my kind of angst, thanks for the request and i hope you'll enjoy!!

prompt: honestly? dying with tartaglia (that sounds like a creepy tv show's title and i'm proud of it)

contains: tartaglia

warnings: angst, death, blood, major character death, self-blame, murder, more blood, really a lot of dying and bleeding, please do not proceed if you're not comfortable with the topics

adrenaline was probably the last string that had your body moving and functioning in any way. the blood in your veins made you deaf, only capable of noticing the sounds of it pumping behind your ears, head pulsing like a bomb about to explode.

your whole body shook, and you felt a metallic taste on your tongue, covering your mouth with your hand to prevent throwing up, which you predicted would happen in a matter of seconds.

"hey!" you finally heard childe yell, sounding distant even still, when you lifted your gaze away from the body before you and noticed he was standing fairly close. "come on, move, or his buddies" he said pointing to the lifeless man beneath you "might just come to get revenge"

with that he took your arm by the waist and pulled you along with him.

you stumbled over your own feet, and almost fell down every couple of minutes. your lungs started to burn after mere seconds, and you couldn't even find breath to tell him to slow down. you also knew he couldn't, having better self-preservation instincts than you, he understood the situation you two were in better.

fuck.

you looked behind you, to the spot where blood painted the grass red under a pile of dead bodies, some of your allies, some of your foes, but from this kind of distance, you couldn't even make out which one was which. your gaze fell down to your hands, covered in sticky redness as well.

you just killed somebody.

it wasn't even the consequences that frightened you, it was the sheer act of life leaving his eyes before he fell down, of his pupils staring at you in one last beg for mercy before freezing like that for the eternity ahead, for how his body seemed to have gained weight in a matter of seconds, almost pulling you down with him. the ringing in your head got more intense as you choked on a strained sob.

"they're dead" you breathed out, making your partner laugh sarcastically.

"good guess" he answered, his grip on your arm loosening as the both of you climbed up a hill.

"no, you don't understand, they're- dead dead! i- i didn't think i-" you stumbled over your words, panic settling in your eyes as you tried to comprehend the situation.

"what, you didn't think that if you pierce a person through with a blade they're gonna die?" he asked rhetorically, back almost slamming against a tree, sliding down to the ground with a breath of relief. "fuck, looks like i got pierced, too" he noticed, looking down onto his side, the grey material of his uniform getting dark and sticky. he hissed, trying to lift it up, and gave up on his attempts, instead opting to look at you.

you didn't sit down, but kept staring forward with the most frightened expression he had ever seen you wear. eyes wide open as you searched for answers in thin air, hands shaking, moving up to cover your mouth.

“hey” he whispered way gentler than before, urging you to sit down in front of him “it’s okay, it was only self-defense. you did kill them, but you didn’t murder them or anything, it was kill or be killed”

his words held so much confidence in what he was saying, you almost felt comforted. he really did master the art of bending the truth to his liking, didn’t he?

“i did it, what if he was someone’s father, or brother, or whoever else, what if i just destroyed someone’s world? he was a human being just as much as i am, i had no right-“ you started relapsing into panic, hands gripping on your hair, head moving down to hide between your legs.

only then did tartaglia notice the huge wound right across the back of your thigh, and several others. fuck, he instantly thought, whoever did it knew what he was doing, cut you in a very specific place, with intent to kill.

he couldn’t even fight back the wave of anger coming crushing at him, but bit his lip instead of saying anything. there was no way the both of you could get to a safe place in time.

he used to be so passionate about continuing to live, normally he would’ve just throw you over his shoulder and run, until his legs gave out, but now, he didn’t even have the energy to stand up. he barely could move his hand, and the more he tried to fight it, the more tired he became.

the feeling of helplessness was eating him alive, both from not having any way of providing you safety, and for not protecting you earlier, not to mention how he couldn’t find the right words to say to you now.

“listen” he started carefully, waiting for you to stop sobbing. “it’s painful, killing someone. it leaves a hole inside you that you don’t know how to cover. it makes your thoughts twist and fight back against you, it makes you want to leave your own head for how bad you feel. it sucks, believe me, i know. you didn’t deserve to have to feel this shitty. i’m- i’m sorry. for not shielding you well enough.” he said bluntly, not a hint of comfort or the usual beating around the bush that he used every time he intended to coax you. just pure, brutal truth. for once.

“it’s okay” you mumbled quietly. your head felt heavy on your shoulders, and you felt how it started to fall off its support. the numbness in your legs, this sort of stressful feeling of being constantly out of air- “i don’t want to die, though”

the sentence felt like a whimper, a cry of help, but tartaglia knew there was exactly nothing he could do.

“am i gonna die?” your voice felt a little stronger, laced with fear, and you lifted your eyes back onto him, in search of a “no” that you knew you wouldn’t find. “i’m gonna leave this world with killing a man as my last memory” you laughed bitterly, before laugh became a cry, and tears mixed with sweat on the surface of your cheeks. “that’s the worst fucking death i could ever imagine”

“baby, look at me” he asked calmly “come here”

when you moved to sit on his side, his hand, sticky from blood, intertwined its fingers with yours, and squeezed tightly.

“look. we’re sitting on a hill, under a tree, the sun is high up in the sky, a meadow below us, it’s a perfect date!” he laughed so authentically, you almost believed it was true. “we’re on a dream date, isn’t that amazing? and look.”

with that, he tilted your head towards his, and kissed you softly and shortly.

“i love you.” he said in the calmest manner he could force out “is that a better memory?”

you placed your head on his side, attempting to hug him even a little bit, tears staining his uniform even more.

“i don’t want to leave you.”

“i’ll be right behind you. guarding your back, like i always do. after all, i promised to always protect you, right? death won’t change my plans.”

[ratmoved]

Bit of a vent, Ask to tag

If one more person brings up that i look sad or i seem sad or whatever whatever or says something of my life sounds depressing to go through im gonna lose my mind. Like yes BETHANY my birthday was depressing this year and yes i constantly suffer with financial issues and yes i look depressed because im clinically depressed and am constantly on the verge of tears PLEASE mind your buisness. I was telling you about how happy i was being able to buy 3 g1 mlp models and you made it about how theyre "so cheap" and "i couldve bought you more of those" PLEASE SHUT UP i didnt ask i am sharing something i enjoy and you mock me with how muvh richer you are than me im not GONNA FUCKING SHARE things i ENJOY with a NIHILISTIC ASSHOLE who doesnt know how to shut there mouth about others situations. Fuck you and do not fucking interact with me or things that make me happy anymore. im so tired of practically having to FIGHT to feel okay, i am trying to be a friend and allow you to enjoy things i enjoy with me and have a good conversation about things we both like and you go and make fun of me. Go fuck yourself im TIRED of this and tired of safe spaces being ruined and obvious places of escapism being mutilated, does talking down to me about my shitty life make you feel proud of yourself? I fucking hope you get hit by a fucking bus you moronic white bastard.

[ingenueur]

11 questions tag!!

this is hella long so ill do this here: thank u sm @onesoftboye for tagging me! ure such a cool bean and i hope we get to talk more and bc of that im gonna tag other cool beans i look up to but never talk to:

@drarrynotdairy, @roseslester, @vesselsprouts, @httpixel​, and @melodanmatic​ idk if any of us are mutuals bc i refuse to learn how to use this hellsite but i look up to all ur memes so much aasjnflrkf 

here are my questions to yall:

1. fav vine compilation?

2. best time to take a fat nap?

3. do you have any furry friends (that may join you on the aforementioned fat naps)?

4. are you in school rn? college? or god forbid a functioning adult??

5. whats smth youd LOVE to get but would never buy yourself?

6. do you wear out ur headphones until theyre basically wires stripped of the rubber or do you buy new ones asap?

7. preferred grocery store?

8. whos ur best friend? what are they like?

9. advice for ur past self? (im aiming at college-years past self bc i could use a lot of advice)

10. opinions on bath bombs?

11. a goal for this yr?

aaaand finally heres my ajsndlf answers to rose’s lovely questions thank u again!!

1. What time do you usually wake up?

530am bc my pupper is a morning person and therefore i am :) even on the weekends bc im a crazy grandpa basically

2. What was your dream job as a kid?

i wanted to study the stars!! and now imma do that! dreams come true yall u can do whatever u want and @all u girls especially: U can do anything U want

3. What’s the last book you read? Would you recommend it?

i guess the metamorphosis by franz kafka for ap lit?? i recommend bc kafka’s a freaky dude and i love delving into my existential questioning w a bud

4. How many pillows do you have on your bed?

currently switching btwn none to 5,,,,,,i like bein a comfy bitch

5. Describe three things you like about yourself.

i like my work ethic, i like that i try not to be afraid of new things, and i like that ive been liking myself more n more recently

6. Do you have any pets? (If you include a picture you get bonus points!)

the aforementioned pupper is my current pet rn but my two cats edgar and isa will always be in my heart and we’re getting a puppy this summer! wish us luck

7. Do you cry easily at movies/books/songs/etc?

bitch..........im constantly on the verge of tears so any excuse to let it out while not addressing the reasons im actually crying about....sign me up

8. What is your -least- favorite color, food, and season?

i stay away from any bright, 2000′s emo, vivid colors you feel? also dislike fish if i have to eat around the bones smh just debone it pls and i...cant come up w a season i h*te bc well,,i love the outdoors i never get time outdoors oops

9. Where would you most like to go on vacation? What would you like to do there?

if we’re talking relaxing-type vacation and not a culturally important vacation for me to learn and experience things then: somewhere tropical like mykonos or fiji just to swim in clear water endlessly and sleep on beaches w stray cats

10. Do you have a phone case on your phone currently? What color is it?

ya bc i dont live life dangerously :/ its the same color as my phone and is one of those mom types that holds ur credit cards bc i dont understand purses

11. What was the last thing you laughed about?

jenna marbles’ “reacting to compilations of me 3″ video i love one woman :’)

okok im finally done speaking goodbye yall