#they might be beefing but that's wifey

[nerd4music]

You're here because of me. People like you, they're not let in. You're a leader, what we call an 'A'. If you are allowed to live in the city, you won't work, farm, shop, read. No. You'll look for answers. You'll ask what happened here, and why, and to whom, and you'll seek justice based on a feeling in your gut, a feeling you can't name. But what if I told you there was only one way to get those answers, those secrets, only one way to understand the whole picture? Would you take it? THE WALKING DEAD: THE ONES WHO LIVE | S1E3: Bye

[danrifics]

i’ve had this blog for a million years and finally decided i should probably have a pinned intro post (especially cos i’ve gained some new followers recently (hi)) so here we go

Name: Bethanie (but also you might see people calling me beef… don’t ask cos i don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😂) (stop calling me beth i hate it)

age: 25

From: 🇬🇧

how long have i been watching dnp?: 12 years (active in phandom: 5 years)

Other interests i might post about: Heartstopper, Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, The Legend of Zelda, Minecraft, Scooby Doo

Notes: Im Neurodivergent (audhd) which you will see explains a lot about me🕺🏻 but in all seriousness sometimes i do not understand tone most of the time, i don’t always understand jokes and i struggle to know if i’m saying the right things a lot if the time which had got me in trouble in the past but im working on. all i ask is people are patient with me 💕

Note 2: im currently following dnp blogs again, i unfollowed a bunch previously last year when i went multi fandom so if i used to follow you previously and random start again that’s why!

lastly please follow my husband @danslawdegree and my wifey @dip-the-pip cos they’re fucking awesome and they put up with me a lot and i put up with them 😂

🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I have a grand total of 2 whole clients today so I figure I'm gonna just like. See them. Write notes. Do my trainings for the new ehr, and then chill all day.

I don't love getting a low pay day when things are tight, but wifey is getting a bit of a bonus (more than she was gonna make for sure) from her work trip, and it's the very beginning of a pay period so I've got time to make it up, plus there's a good chance I'll get to bill as staff meetings for the training time (I'll check during one on one this week) which will beef up the hours for the day.

At any rate, I should be able to make the minimum budget amount I've set for us by the end of the pay period, so it should be fine. With luck I might even get some excess into our savings account for once.

Point is, I'm trying not to let myself stress about having a 3-5 hour shift today because I wasn't feeling great anyway so it's nice to not really be client facing, and I think this is honestly one of the best times we could have lost some of my hours involuntarily. So instead I'm gonna have a board game night with wifey and try and relax.

[st4rbwrry]

‍ ‍ 𖠵𖤥 𑁤 cater to you.

𖠵𖤥 you’re the best wife every man dreamt for. letting your man use you as his personal fuck toy after a hard day of work is part of the commitment, isn’t it?

𖠵 pairing › nanami kento x black fem!reader.

𖠵 viewer discretion › voice kink, nanami moansssss, submissive / wifey reader, fingering, big tittied reader, riding, overstim, image obsession, missionary, nanami gets a little carried away, lil bits of aggression, dumbification, dacryphilia, pet names, spanking, oral, clothed sex, size kink, specific black features mentioned, minors aren’t welcomed ! reblogs & comments are appreciated <3

white is his favorite color on you. the most memorable image in his head is the way you wore it on your wedding day. a dress that cost thousands of dollars paid by him, big and poofy cinderella ballgown the little girl inside of you wanted since you were young. circling every dress that resembled it in every david’s bridal monthly catalog in the mail. his forever disney princess. that, was a perfect fairytale. but seeing you wear it any other time, like right now when he unlocks the front door to your shared penthouse on the 69th floor of valley gardens. . . his dick aches.

the house is dimly lit, smelling of lemon from the candles you'd lit all around your home to the boiling beef stew set to low to keep warm for your husband. you're sitting on the black velvet sofa snuggling a giganti white heart pillow he'd gotten you for valentine's day. plucking at the colorful cotton candy jar in your lap, enjoying the sweetness melting onto your tongue as you watch your usual crime documentaries on netflix. your pretty hair in its signature locs trialing down your shoulder because they irritated your back and made it itchy. baby hairs swooped to your liking.

white painted toes digging into the soft carpet on beneath you and dressed only in a sheer white babydoll with fur only on the bust and thigh area. an angel, truly. a familiar jump in your chest is igniated when you feel his presence nearby. it's like a crazy sixth sense you have. you can tell when he's around the corner, when something's wrong when you're apart, or feeling what he feels. turning your head, you melt into your pillow, cheek firmly pressed to it as you smile adoringly at him, your whimsical vine cut diamond ring twinkling under the moonlight illuminating through the panoramic windows, overlooking the city.

“why are you still up? it's midnight, doll.”

the soft vanilla tone in his voice makes you weak, nanami taking his loafers off by the door and clearing his throat as he pulls off his tie. tall, busty figure adorned in an dark navy blue suit you can't help but drool over every time you see him in the attire. his blonde hair slightly fuzzy and you could tell he'd been rubbing his hands through it, probably out of stress. it's second nature to stand to your feet and walk towards him, wrapping one hand around his waist under his jacket while the other raked your acrylics through his undercut to pull him in for a kiss.

nanami’s body relaxes in your warm touch, tasting the nyx butter gloss on your full, darkly lined lips. you smell like vanilla and cocoa butter altogether, a scent embedded in his mind. his arm snakes around your waist to pull you closer, squeaking in his mouth when you feel his bulge graze your tummy, eyes blowing up and heat encasing your cheeks. you blink at him when he locks eyes with you again, falsies enhancing those gorgeous big eye of yours.

“um, i-i made dinner for you. i was cleaning all day and couldn't sleep so—” you trail off when you notice nanami’s barely listening to you, mind heading elsewhere as his heavy hand slips under your nightie, your body shivering from the cold of his stainless steel watch with a sapphire dial skim your ass cheeks. expensive, like him. “nanami?”

“dinner might have to wait,” nanami rasps, drawing you closer with a firm spank to your ass, gasping as the sensation aims for your clit that knocks into his hard physique. the force was much harder than you excepted.

“was work okay?” you swallow, the naiveness act taking over. unsure why, it's just weird for him to act like this out of the blue. he keeps his hot hand on your ass while the other pulls the white of his button down from his slacks, slowly unbuttoning it with one hand. his eyes piercing into your own made you nervous. but, at the same time, your thighs were squeezing together where you stood.

“no.”

you fold your lips inwardly from the blunt answer. clearly he didn't want to talk about it, or maybe right now just wasn't the time to pry. the look in his eyes that darkened into another color gave you more than enough of an answer. he wanted to fuck you. that's what he intended, and that's what was going to happen. and you were gonna let him because he needed you, and that's what good, pretty little wives like you do.

nanami begins to walk forward and you're stumbling back mindlessly until the backs of your knees hit the sofa, kicking you down to sit as your husband hovers over you; brooding and dominate. it turns you on to see him be so nonchalant with you. giving orders and taking what he wants. and you're willing to lay there and be his sweet little fuck toy because you love him. and you'd do anything to make him happy.

both of his hands cup either side of your face, prioritizing your focus on him since it's a big form of communication for him. “just be my good girl for a few minutes, yeah?”

“yes,” you nod, not bothering to ask further questions. his actions are scarily haste right after, hooking his hands underneath your underarms to pick you up like a child as he stood on the couch, maneuvering towards the middle before laying you flat, his thick thighs tight in his slacks as he kneels over your frame.

his knees are indented into the sofa, planted on either side of your shoulders, the view causing your lip to hide between your teeth. you watch as he undoes the loop of his leather belt, dropping it to the floor before pulling down his zipper and finally relieving his heavy cock with a breathy sigh out of his nose. your mouth waters upon sight, whimpering and rubbing your thighs together. the tip is fat and tinted pink like his lips. thick enough to stretch you and make you full with veins leading from his v-line bulging up to the sides of his cock. a thin trail of blonde pubes throwing it all together.

“spread your legs, and hold them close to you.”

commanding without hesitation, you do as he says, nanami not surprised you aren't wearing any undergarments since you only lift and hold your knees to your chest, watery cunt clenching over air. so little work and you're soaked. the cool air in your home has your skin covered in goosebumps, his gaze another affect. you hated eye contact. it made you super nervous and even he knew that. but nanami likes respect. when he's talking to you, or fucking you, he expects you to obey and look at him. he finds you bratty when you look away or close your eyes. sometimes you'll do it on purpose just to see him clench his jaw and press a finger to his temple in agitation. it's hot.

“open up, sweetheart,” he's referring to both holes, your hands locking on the backs of your knees to hold them still as he reaches behind to sink his middle and ring finger knuckles deep into your pussy, curving them upright, your mouth spreading wide and your eyelids drooping low.

a glob a spit comes from nanami’s mouth and falls onto his cock he uses his unoccupied hand to lube over, hips bucking from sensitivity. he hisses low, lining his dick up with your velvety tongue that happens to stick out obediently for him. nanami sucks in his lower lip and knots his brow when he gets his cock in your salivating mouth, blissfully shutting his eyes as he continues to fuck your pussy open, your moans drowning out the television.

“fuck, wrap your hand around it. stroke it how i like it, baby,” he's shrugging off his jacket now, tossing it out of sight, chiseled chest peaking past the cotton dress shirt still clinging to his lightly tanned skin. masculine cologne whisking over your nose. you could feel the blood rushing through his dick on your tongue, the size weighing down in your mouth. taking one dainty hand and holding it up to his mouth, waiting for him to spit in it. he does with lulled eyes, guiding your hand to his dick and watching you stroke your pretty hand gently over it. rotating your wrist elegantly while raising your head up to enclose your thick lips around the head, sucking and tugging.

nanami is usually a patient man, depends on the situation. right now, patience isn't in his vocabulary. your husband leans forward slightly, taking his fingers out of your soppy cunt and wrapping that same hand around your neck before rolling his hips to fuck your throat. his cock jumps when you choke, gagging around it, the wet squelch aiding him to pick up his pace.

“you nasty fuckin’ girl, fuck,” the tears brimming your eyes has him biting his lip, your nails clawing at his thighs and breathing through your nose, prolonging this for as long as possible to appease him. “keep strumming your clit, princess.”

he gives you a breather, slowly sliding his cock out. you gasp, still moaning as you raise your knees again and reach between yourself, bucking your hips into your hand and circling your slick clit with all three fingertips. he's prepared to stick his dick back in that hot tunnel of your mouth, but when he's observing how good you're making yourself feel; arching your back, squirming, and rubbing his thigh all at once. . . he wants another thing. that thing that's gushing over your fingers and soaking your plush inner thighs.

his weight on you dials low and your eyes shoot open in awareness. nanami scoops you up by your waist and carried you with him as he settles down on his back, cock resting on your tummy throbbing with beads of precum leaking from the tip. it's easy to tell he's been feeling this way all day. the straps to your babydoll slips off your shoulders, body suddenly feeling hot and taking the initiative by tugging it down to your midsection, tits spilling out.

chewing on your bottom lip, you cup your chest in your hands, holding them up as nanami raises your ass and fists his cock, getting the tip a little wetter by rushing it over your gushing hole and swollen bud, twitching from the feeling. both of you moan in sync as he lines it up before letting you sit on it slow. sometimes you struggle with doing it yourself so he does it for you, the two of you listening to that pop sound when he's finally inside.

“fuc—mmm. kento,” he doesn't need to instruct you on what to do next. raising your ass to drop back down and clap down on his clothed thigh, holding your chest and pumping his aching cock with your tight cunny, lashes kissing the apples of your cheeks.

“unh, shit,” nanami moans, spreading your ass cheeks apart to dig deeper. you can't help yourself when you're stuffed like this. and he has the ability to do it every time he fucks you. makes your brain staticky and your voice monotoned. you're so so wet and both of you could feel it soaking your pelvis’s.

“what'd i say about those eyes closin’ on me, sweetie? huh?” a rough hand grabs your chin to keep you focused, the harsh grip and stern demeanor makes you whine and drop down to fully sit. nanami gasps when you begin to scoot atop of him, his other hand grabbing under the curve of your ass as you grind yourself heatedly above him, nanami hooking his thumb in the side of your mouth, eyes locked on yours.

your body weakly leans forward, clit thumping against his pubic hairs, the whimpers leaving your mouth heavenly. “baby,” you hiccup, whining low in your throat, your knees bucking and clashing together as your thighs interlock, feeling that familiar wave crash in your stomach. clawing at his abs and humping his cock faster, twitching. “babe.”

“yeah,” nanami nods to coax you, brows furrowed, digging his hands into either side of your hips and dragging you on his dick. “keep cummin’.”

“mmm, need you,” your breath picks up, gathering your locs to wrap and hold them up behind your head, screaming softly when nanami smacks your ass hard, shoving you down to his chest so your face is buried between his neck before he keeps his big hands under the curve of your ass and fucks up into you hard. “yesss, baby fuck me. fuck me.”

your mewls cater him, feeling so much better than he did before he stepped through that door. grunting by your ear and swatting your ass over and over. “i love the way you take it all, doll. make it messy. unh, my pretty girl.”

that coil ripples yet again, cumming hard on his cock, hair falling down your side when your arms drop, digging them into his shoulder blades, quaking and crying uncontrollably. your tears wetting the sofa. you’re babbling nonsense, laying limp in his arms and letting him continue to have his way with you.

his lips are grazing your earlobe, sniffling and wiggling in his hold to let you go because you couldn't take another orgasm. him whispering, “made a mess on my cock now you're dripping on the couch, too. tsk,” is what drives you to cum again without control. the scream you extricate is silent, irises rolling back and breathless moans following. “k-kento, please. i'm sensitive.”

“shh, i know,” nanami holds your face in his hands, clashing his mouth to yours, passionately swapping spit and sloppily smacking lips. “just let me cum then we can shower, okay?”

pouting, you nod. nanami is frantic when he switches positions, laying you on your back and dangling your ankles over his broad shoulders. he's sinking his dick in fully, hissing and smacking your outer thigh before fucking you into the couch he's sure will leave an imprint. the speed of his thrusts are too fast and hard for you to grasp. losing your mind all over again. “you're so good f’me, princess. so so good hugging my cock like that.”

you gently claw at his chest. “nngh, i love you, i fucking i love you. love you.”

that alone was enough for his orgasm to near, pace picking up aggressively to pump you full of his cum, an unknown high-pitched moan bellowing from him that it makes your eyes go wide. grabbing his slim waist and helping him rut into you as you cum once more, voice leaving you completely and nanami taking you in his buff arms the moment his cum splatters your walls. kissing and sucking on your neck.

it feels even hotter now, brushing your hands over his backside lazily to pull off his shirt, needing him fully nude. nanami chuckles between your neck, reaching by his sides to tug down his slacks so you'll feel better. him being hot made you hot. he wants to stay here for a while longer, not bothering to pull out.

“are you okay now?” your angelic voice asks, batting your lashes when he looks at you, sucking on your lips.

“of course i am.”

link. link. link. # proceed with caution # also this the lil character i made for this fic. <3

[zlebooks]

love fool | zhongli smau — ch. 07

ch. 07 — [ prev / masterlist / next ]

zhongli, the student body president has been out of everyone's league since the beginning. yet you still let yourself crush on the golden-darling-pretty-boy. so, like a fool in love, you end up chasing zhongli who is part of the track team as well and somehow, he manages to avoid every single one of your attempts! (gee, i wonder why) good thing there's no app that lets you talk to him anonymously and accidentally creates a love square-ish between you two. or in which zhongli thinks he fell for someone through the internet but it ends up just being the pest (affectionately, you) crushing on him the whole time.

FEATURING: student council!zhongli x she/her!reader, other genshin impact characters.

TAGLIST: send an ask to be added! (bold means cannot be tagged) @imtoodumbforaname @stationery-store @catsrkool @nejibot @eufrsr @nerdy-simp-7120 @ping-pongmach1ne @pathosprit @ainescribe @local-mr-frog @irisxiel @patata-52 @nebulaera @zhonglis-wifey @zephestia @potatoewolfie @estelwrld @deimmortales99 @kyomihann @msvalkitty @beef-stew @zannivrs @starryeyedkoko @floffytofu @layvesenrose @one-offmind

fun facts ★

this is the ppt y/n made that she sent zhongli by accident ... rip 2 you i guess

the powerpoint template is just a template i chose half asleep in canva

zhongli probably thinks you're rlly creepy now! and childe thinks he shouldn't have attempted to matchmake the two of you

you might have disappointed your research teacher but at least in this smau you know how to cite references!

[imagine-turtles]

What are your thoughts on serious moments between the bayverse guys and their s/o’s? Everyone talks about the romantic aspects but I wanna know what goes down in an argument, how each one of them handles those typical spousal fights but of course How in the end they make up and come around to one another.

OH this is a good one.  Love the cut of your jib, chief, hope you enjoy!

A common source of conflict with Leonardo is his overbearing attitude, stemming from a lifetime of leadership.  He’s always been responsible for making sure his brothers are working towards their full potential and steering them towards their best selves--or what he thinks is their best selves, anyways.  This will absolutely bleed into his relationships.

An S/O familiar with Leonardo’s modus operandi knows he acts the way he does out of love; he only wants to make their life better, which they could definitely have if they just did things his way!  He can get frustrated when he doesn’t understand why they’re not on the same page, and he can sound downright insulting when he’s too worked up to think about how to phrase his argument delicately, but he’s always ready with an apology when he sticks his foot in his mouth.

Leonardo knows he can get caught up in the heat of a debate and come across as harsh, so his apologies are usually neatly written out and delivered with a peace offering.  He’s still trying to adjust to a new, lateral type of relationship, but most arguments can be resolved with a boatload of patience and the gentle reminder that he doesn’t need to completely understand his partner’s feelings to acknowledge their validity.

Rest under the cut:

~~~

Raphael’s main conflict is his bad habit of making wildly inaccurate assumptions based on nothing but his own insecurity.  Hanging out with friends?  They must be tired of him.  Needs to reschedule a date?  They’re going to break up with him.  Raphael can get so wrapped up in his own head that he’ll start putting words in his partner’s mouth, and end up starting an argument over nothing.  

Like Leonardo, Raphael needs a significant other willing to be patient with him during a conflict.  Ideally, this would be someone who can keep a calm tone without sounding condescending, who understands when he’s thought himself into a panic and freaked himself out over nothing.  He might even try to verbally--never physically--push his partner away in the hopes that they drop him before he gets too attached.

(He’s already far too attached.)

Making up would likely occur after an argument, far enough out that Raphael has had time to calm down and remind himself to trust his S/O.  Their life doesn’t revolve around him, and if he’s scared of losing them, maybe he should just do something about it instead of sabotaging himself.  He’s typically pretty considerate of his partner’s needs, but he cranks it into overdrive post-argument.  Raphael apologizes with little gifts and acts of service while still giving them space: notes, treats, stuff around their home mysteriously fixed or replaced entirely, the works.

~~~

Arguing with Donatello is typically a short-lived experience, because he’d really rather just agree to disagree and call it a day.  Anything that causes a legitimate conflict would have to be something he’s unwilling to compromise on, or a complete misunderstanding.  His poor sense of time might lead to friction--sure, he’s been working on the truck for a few days, but it feels like he just talked to his S/O yesterday!  It’s not that he doesn’t miss them when they’re gone, it’s just that he compartmentalizes to the point of returning to the exact mental state he was in before he fell into a week-long hyperfixation.

Unlike some of his brothers, there’s typically no time between an argument and an apology unless his partner needs time alone to cool down.  Donatello’s main strategy is to immediately identify/brainstorm/solve problems, but this isn’t to say he won’t back off and let his S/O sort themselves out before initiating a conversation.

Donatello’s apologies are by-the-book.  Acknowledgment of the issue, clarification of intent, meaningful “I’m sorry,” and how he proposes avoiding the problem in the future, in that order.  It’s not that he’s trying to be emotionally distant or say what he thinks they want to hear to get it over with, he just wants his S/O to know that he’s taking this seriously.

~~~

Michelangelo wants serious arguments to be over before they even begin.  Sure, he’ll fake a divorce over a particularly vicious round of Cards Against Humanity, but that’s pretend beef.  He’s much more likely to just roll over in an actual conflict than risk losing his significant other, even at the expense of his own comfort; not that it comes up particularly often.  He’s never trying to purposely hurt them, and he has absolute faith that they’re not trying to hurt him either--he wouldn’t be dating them if they were!

Sometimes he can be a little too hasty in trying to solve a problem, and he can come across as overbearing if his S/O needs a little time alone to process what’s bothering them.  Michelangelo is fairly good at knowing if something is wrong, but sometimes it’s difficult for him to know exactly what that is without flat-out asking.  He’s been living in an enclosed space with the same few people, same few problems, so it’ll take a little time for him to adjust to a new person with new problems.

Most situations can be resolved by calmly talking it out, because yeah they do love having him over, but leaving his shit all over their room really, really stresses them out.  Michelangelo’s apologies are typically short, sweet, and followed by an earnest effort to avoid a repeat and get back to their usual shenanigans.

~~~

I’m now realizing that I’m not the best person to ask about this, lol, wifey and I have never really had a serious argument.  Gave it my best shot though!

[joanofarchetype]

A Connecticut Yankee...a kid...that's all well and good but we really don't talk enough about the werewolf in King Arthur's court

This is not a shitpost — in Le Morte D'Arthur, Sir Thomas Malory makes mention of "Sir Marrok, the good knight that was betrayed with his wyf, for she made hym seven yere a wer-wolf". Of course, Malory lifted the tale of the werewolf knight straight outta "Bisclavret," which is one of the Twelve Lais of Marie de France. And it is...wild. There's also "Melion," an anonymous Breton lai which along with "Biclarel" is believed to have evolved from the same source as "Bisclavret". In this post we're gonna refer to the protagonist as the "knight" or the "wolf-knight" and tell a somewhat composite tale.

(A note: this takes place well before commonly established werewolf lore, which crystallized thanks to Universal's The Wolf Man. Curt Siodmak wrote all that stuff about the full moon and silver bullets in 1941 so well that our common imagination accepted it as ancient fact.)

So anyway our guy is a knight who disappears for a couple nights a week and his wife is like ?????? dude ??????? where ??? do you ???? go ??????

And my dude is like "babe I love you but I can't tell you because you won't look at me the same" and she's like "I am your wIFE you better tell me right quick or otherwise have a good nose for almonds in your oatmeal" (jk she doesn't say that because if she did he might've gotten a little foreshadowing of her treachery, but alas, our man was a sucker)

So the knight tells her he's a werewolf, and on the nights he disappears he's wolfing around the countryside and his wife is like !!!!!!!!!! on the inside but makes sure her face is only 🤔 on the outside

(Mind you, Marie de France goes into how the wife is grossed out because she shared her marriage bed with a beast, which has some interesting implications but we'll get to those later)

She starts digging about his transformation until he explains how in order to return to his human shape, he *needs* to put his human clothes back on or else he'll be stuck as a wolf, at which point wifey is 👀👀👀👀

Wifey's like, "but if ur in wolf form, how do u remember where u put ur clothes lol" and the knight's like, "no no, I retain my human mind even in wolf form and besides, I always put them under this one rock outside this cave"

now bear in mind he's never been able to talk about this to anyone so he's pouring his heart out about his deepest secret which he kept even from his wife & I know we're all pretty used to medieval repression but imagine how it must have felt to share this secret at long last 😥

So to recap:

knight: 🤵🏻🛡🐾🌕🐺🤫😅😍♥️💐 wifey: 👰🏼💭🤢🤔👀🧐💡💡👔💍🔪🔪🔪

Our knight is like "yeah so I was born this way and it's just a part of who I am and whew it's kind of a relief to finally be talking about it with someone"

Wifey nods along 🤔🤔🤔 because she's had a💡moment and is 🍳 up a plan...

so the knight has unleashed (pun intended) his secret for the first time in this life and is feeling just dandy, but what he doesn't know is his wife is already plotting his downfall with her...LOVER (dun dun dunnn)

wifey & her secret lover steal the knight's clothes when he's transformed, essentially trapping him in wolf form, get him declared dead in absentia, marry each other & take over his lands

and the royal court goes for this because at this point the whole kingdom knows about the knight's habit of disappearing for days at a time (because medieval nobles are messy gossipy bitches who live for that drama) so they just assume he abandoned her

*~*ONE YEAR LATER*~* (or if you're Malory, *~*SEVEN YEARS LATER*~*)

the king & hunting party corner the wolf-knight in the woods. knight is overwhelmed at the sight of his monarch & runs up to what for all he knows might be his oblivion to kiss king's feet at which point king's like, "THAT'S NO ORDINARY WOLF. HE SHALL JOIN MY COURT IMMEDIATELY."

the wolf-knight goes to live at court where he's basically regarded as a knight (so the takeaway from this part of the lai is that a literal wild animal had a better chance of becoming a knight in ye olden days than a peasant or a woman but I digress)

anyway so there's a celebration at court and who comes to the party but the ex-wifey's new husband, now a baron. understandably, the wolf-knight does NOT react well and attacks him, and the reaction of everyone at court at this near-mauling isn't to say "whoa whoa maybe bringing a wolf to court was a bad idea" but rather "huh, this wolf has never been hostile towards a human before so obviously this guy must've personally wronged him." which is...progressive.

so the new husband/baron/co-conspirator is all "wtf keep it away from me" and the king is like "idk man, what were you wearing? maybe you smelled like royal beef jerky at the time. seems like you were asking for it"

king & the other barons take wolf-knight to the new baron's property. they just need to figure out what's going on because they're not ready to take sir wolf to his final veterinary visit, u feel? they're attached. now get ready for this next part because it's a doozy.

ex-wifey hears about the king's visit so she's waiting with gifts & cakes & shit. the wolf-knight sees her & immediately BITES OFF HER NOSE & he bites it so good her progeny can feel it & henceforth all her descendants are — I SHIT YOU NOT — born noseless. talk about losing face.

under questioning (*cough cough* torture *cough*) the wife admits to her crimes & yields the stolen clothing, which they put in front of the wolf & he just stares at them until they realize "wow yeah sorry dude our bad" and leave the room to give him privacy

when they see the wolf-knight again he's in his human form and in Marie de France's "Bisclavret" it's expressly written that the king embraces him in the bedchamber and gives him "many kisses" (hashtag heterosexual friends doing heterosexual things)

the king restores the wolf-knight's lands and ex-wifey has to live with her ex-baron in exile, forever marked for her betrayal. some real Mark of Cain shit. (obviously this lai has a lot to say about spousal dissatisfaction but that’s another day’s dissertation)

the wolf-knight (Bisclavret, or Melion, or Marrok, or Sir Wolf or whatever you fancy calling him) not only regains his good name, but also the support of a court which now knows his secret dual nature.

something to be hated or feared, only understood and accepted. no one at court shuns him once the secret's out & no one tries to change or "heal" him of his lycanthropy.

remember when I said we'd come back to the wife's reaction? in "Bisclavret" Marie de France specifically states that upon finding out his secret, the wife no longer wishes to "lie beside him." let's unpack that a bit by exploring similar themes across folklore.

the marriage bed serves as a common motif in tales of animal transformation. ex: in "Beauty and the Beast," the protagonist has to overcome her revulsion towards her suitor's ostensible monstrosity before she can accept his marriage proposal. traditionally these stories with mysterious, beastly husbands who are secretly a true catch serve as an allegory for arranged marriage, designed to help young women process their anxieties about being passed from their father's house to that of a strange new husband.

(we should differentiate these tales from those of an ostensibly appropriate groom who turns out to be a monster in disguise such as "Bluebeard," "Mr. Fox," and "The Robber-Bridegroom," as those deserve a detailed thread of their own but also provide good thematic contrast here)

more often the Beast is kind, patient & gives Beauty the time she needs to the detriment of his own freedom from the curse. once the protagonist gets over her anxiety, she ceases to perceive her groom as just a hulking hairy beast and he can take the shape of a prince at last.

circling back to wolves! in most lore both ancient and modern, werewolves represent something uncontrollable; an animalistic second nature which threatens to literally tear through our well-mannered social façade. "Bisclavret" and its various incarnations don't do that.

if you read "Bisclavret" under a queer critical lens, you can interpret the knight as bisexual; a husband has a secret duality to his nature which he is unable to express in their current social order. significantly, he is born with his lycanthropy rather than being afflicted by the sudden, violent means through which most fictional werewolves are afflicted. it's a part of who he is, and it requires no further explanation or cure.

the wolf-knight finds freedom rather than shame in his lycanthropy, and as a result maintains both honor and control while in wolf form. unlike other famous werewolves, he doesn't function as an expression of tension between the id and the superego.

considering how often wolves are used to imply sexual violence (see also: "Little Red Riding Hood" or its medieval predecessor, "The Grandmother's Tale") this would be a fairly positive portrayal of a bisexual man.

however, his wife doesn't see it that way and is repulsed at the thought of sleeping with him again, so she commits adultery and conspires against him. so really, the crimes in "Bisclavret" have a lot to do with sex, just not sexual violence.

the king's attachment to the wolf & the way he embraces the knight can easily be read as homoerotic. there's absolutely an argument to be made about the normalization of homosocial behavior & male kinship across eras but...two things can be true. either interpretation is valid.

so what we have is a werewolf protagonist — not a villain or tortured anti-hero but an honorable man who isn't made to shed his lycanthropy at the end of the tale (tail). rather, he is accepted by his contemporaries and given a place in society to live as he truly is/ROLL CREDITS

[weareasong]

...

Can't stop won't stop get guap

Ten white toes in them Tory flip flops

Manicures and pedicures I'm always tip top

When they say I'm not hot all these lies need to stop

Cause I'm icy, wifey haters wanna fight me

Never been the one get RIP up on a white tee

Keep my hands clean got some hittas moving shiesty

Ask me if I'm rollin' with some Gucci bitch I might be

It's very unlikely my wrist ain't looking icy

Charging by the minute cause my time is very pricey

Yeah, I be where the bosses be

Judging from my vibe you can feel it in my energy

Stacking paper steadily so I can live in luxury

Looking in the mirror I thank God for what I'm about to be

You beefing with my enemy does not make you a friend of me

Girls so weird stay clear I'm living drama free

Never living comfortably, got a lot of goals to meet

My team is trying to eat so we grinding til' our mental bleed

You trynna get a bag of weed?

I'm trynna get a bag a week

Put it in my savings and invest in the right companies

My dream is like a child and I'm taking all the custody

Obstacles be slowing me

But that buffer molden me

So I take my time cause I'm always where I'm suppose to be

Keep my niggas close to me cause I'm knowing they go for me

You can not get a hold of me?

I'm probably in a solo meet

Always making moves man that's how I keep my sanity

Yeah it's my teams summer couple set backs

Bounce back and recover

The clique real small but we making big moves

And we headed to the top so we can get a better view like

Imma catch a tan overseas while I'm out the country

Let me get some Hennessy while I'm chilling on the beach

Imma count a couple G's let the server bring receipts

Double checking my expenses never messy always neat

Never ever, thats how a hot girl do it

Number one stunner icy girl with a cuban

Cash money mama that be dining in Bahamas

Eating Fettucini pasta with the scallops and the lobsters

Huh, I don't got no time for these hoes

Speaking on my name like I'm someone that they know

I'm the big cat bitch yes these niggas love me

Is there Gucci on my feet?

Shit, bitch it might be!

(end)

[tunesrecords]

Official 'Start Up Again' Lyrics By Polo G Ft Moneybagg Yo

Polo G And Moneybagg Yo Lyrics

Check out the official lyrics to 'Start Up Again' by Polo G, featuring Moneybagg Yo. 'Start Up Again' was released by Polo G late last year as the third track on 'Hall Of Fame 2.0' album.

Polo G And Moneybagg Yo

STREAM & DOWNLOAD AUDIO: Start Up Again By Polo G Ft Moneybagg Yo

Polo G & Moneybagg Yo - Start Up Again Lyrics

Intro: Polo G Uh Gang, gang, gang, gang, gang, gang I got killers in the motherfucking cut, bitch Gang Uh, uh

Verse 1: Polo G I be with savages, they is not having it If it's ever a problem, we tackle it Switch on the chopper, that bitch get to rattling Really hate him, gon' shoot up the candlelit Lil' mama thick, but just watch how I handle it Beat up the pussy, I damage it Passport stamp, fuck the ref, how I'm traveling Louis by Virgil, my drip is immaculate, uh Give me a beat, I'm attacking it, uh Might catch a B when I'm clapping it Opps, they some bitches, we beefing with actresses Post in the trap, we got D in the cabinet, uh She get on hеr knees when she gagging it Might cop a 'Cat 'cause I bеat all them challenges Hundred twenty a show, what I'm averaging On the ropes, I ain't fold, I wasn't panicking Uh, uh, start up again She over with, now I'm all in her friends Two hundred shots, they gon' ball up your mans Lil Jo keep capping, he nodding off Xans, uh I'm Euro stepping in France, uh Drip check, Amiri my pants Glock a guitar, we gon' rock out like bands Spin through they block, he get killed where he stand

Verse 2: Moneybagg Yo I ran up some change, then bust down a chain (Go) Benjamin, Grants, my pockets got names (Woah) The Bentley cocaine, that look like the main A brick of white Forces, same color them things (Thirty-six) I just got booked to go somewhere in Spain (Gone) Fuck a fiancé, I married the game (I do) It's really two hundred an occasion, man (Where?) I'm on the jet eating Raising Cane's They tripping, the grass too high, I don't never be at the house in Memphis (Why?) I done outgrew the city (Yeah) Swapped out the digits, these niggas can't hit me (Nah) Lil' box on the back of the Glock, we got switches (Phew) Awful lot of cough syrup on my dickies (Nope) I'm so picky when it comes to these bitches (Why?) Bougie gangster chick tote my blicky (Got wifey with me, ayy) I got a way with these words, I got a way with these hoes, I keep it too thorough (Raw) Talking my shit on a whole 'nother level I just was over there, I speak for the ghetto Eight ounces of Wock' in the Faygo, I'm KO These niggas fake, put together like Play-Doh (Ha) Uh, uh, drilling this new ho (Uh) Ride like a horse, so I pass her to Polo (Here)

Check other Lyrics You Might Like HERE

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The post Official 'Start Up Again' Lyrics By Polo G Ft Moneybagg Yo appeared first on NotjustOk.

source https://notjustok.com/mp3-songs/lyrics/start-up-again-lyrics-polo-g/

Trenz On

source https://emptunes.blogspot.com/2022/02/official-start-up-again-lyrics-by-polo.html

[jvliesimon-blog]

so lets take a swing at this (ba dum tss)

sup kiddos, drama queen here to shine her lil heart off. julie michelle ricardo simon. y’all gonna regret it when she’s winning an oscar for being a fake hoe. 

meanwhile, i am luna and i am mild and mediocre. i switch between gmt / gmt+8 but time is a construct bc my awake hours make zero sense, anyway. down to business: 

background

mama simon was a teenage troublemaker, but was placated by julie’s arrival. baby daddy went east and never looked back. the two moved around until they returned to ashland when julie was five. julie’s mother remarried her stepfather whom she cherishes. 

somehow passed her high school classes and somehow nabbed a spot at SOU. she was happy to major in theatre until it was too...cerebral. she was passionate about performing, destined to do so and had a deep deep desire to be a star. she took a semester off to recuperate from the stress of laurel & a new place, but just ended up never going back. 

her mom wouldn’t have any of that. julie just returned home, taking care of her siblings and doing low-effort side-hustles like dog walking & handing out flyers (nvm that shit is tiring). she eventually decided to educate herself & took a job at the video store, borrowing movies and shows. she is sad to find that it’s now been closed down. 

she would drive down to LA for auditions. no one she knew there realised she lived all the way in oregon. julie loved the hollywood nightlife (perhaps, a little too much) and also adored the cute sunshine californian ‘social influencer’ life. 

high school

julie didn’t do a whole lot of performing until the eve of high school. a life-changing musical theatre summer camp gave her focus & she’s never looked back. 

a whole smorgasbord of extra-curriculars for her. cheerleading until she quit. debating until she didn’t want to read. choir until she didn’t like singing that much. she was very much a social floater, but wanted to make her presence known. 

laurel’s passing...passed. julie failed to understand why such a thing could happen. for it to be laurel of all people, at her age, and to go out like that? julie didn’t find her significant, just derek’s twin really. she was quieter and predictable, but they were both ambitious dreamers. laurel left a hole way bigger than julie is willing to admit.

connections

you know who’s gonna sing musical theatre songs all trip? this girl. so you? ur allowed to harmonise, be the back up singer. this bitch is the main.

who’s gonna be her instagram photographer? she keeps her online presence so that she looks like a legit valley girl, omfg someone murder her. 

she’ll pick a fight with anyone. present beefs for the smallest shit like not cleaning up to bigger fundamental problems or past rivalries even though julie has nothing to offer. she’s the the walking manifestation of too big for your boots. 

someone she accidentally shares the secret of her real occupation to. it’s a pretty big thing to bear & she wants to hide it. will this person support her? or use it against her? 

friends: julie is not reliable. she’s fun and says funny shit sometimes. however, her world view is everything in relation to herself. it feels like she uses people occasionally, but she’s not willingly manipulative. she doesn’t mean malice and wants the best for the ones she loves. and she loves big, wholeheartedly, and widely — wanting those close to her to succeed and flourish. 

feel like she’s possessive af which is an interesting trait to play with! 

headcanons from my app

She hates La La Land with a passion. Ask her about it, and she’ll deem it a bad musical and a cringey representation of what it’s like in LA. Secretly, she’s watched a dozen times and has to physically force herself not to sing along to the soundtrack.

Julie was engaged to an entertainment executive three years ago. He only had connections in music, and even got an opportunity for Natalie. She keeps men on their toes and he had enough of her. Julie is alluring enough to be wifey material but she’s not committed to being a wife.

Failing audition after audition has been really hard on her emotional well-being. If anyone asks, it’s been going great and she’s making just the progress. In fact, even better! (a complete lie). She needs a break from Hollywood, inching to feel some real America — not the one that’s being mass-produced on the screen.

She really wants children and considered being a teacher when she was younger. Her dream is to marry an older Hollywood producer who’ll cast her in films and she’ll fuck the male lead behind his back. She thinks that she’s over the dating part of the Romantics because she finds it childish and she wants to move past that to grow up. Because she’s good with kids, she might end up as a drama teacher. As cruel as it sounds though, she thinks that would only be an option if she was a failure.

Julie has always been apolitical. A girl who wasn’t a feminist in the past. Now, she has her own stories that could fit in the Time’s Up movement. Laws aren’t in favour of sex workers like her. When she becomes famous, she’ll be more publicly outspoken about issues.

[brandenrankine6-blog]

Why Foreign Men Prefer Russian Women

On thе otherhand for eᴠerybody who is looking regarding any wifey ԝhο агe қnoѡ һｅr traditional role іn ʏour property ɑnd support you ᴡithout stopping yοu from Ьeing thе guy yоu must ƅe, ѕhe ᴡill balance оut ʏоur energy іnstead ϳust Ьeing tһe light and drama һerself (like οur American counterparts). Ꮃhenever Used tο Ԁо talk tо women I ѡɑѕ awkward and embarrassing. It'ѕ mʏ job to еnded conversations aѕ fast aѕ Ꮃе ϲould. I couldn't make eye contact. I didn't ҝnoԝ ԝhat tօ tell hіm.

Pretty ѕoon ѡｅ'ѵｅ observed tһat calls fߋr no chicken left ｅxcept fߋur portions, thе rest іѕ dropped. They messed ɗօwn thе food a ⅼot? Scott tһе sous chef overseer іѕ losing hіѕ cool Ƅecause оf tһе chicken Ƅeing ցօne, no beef wellingtons, and оther items. Heck, Initially but then кnoѡ these еνen attempting tⲟ ᥙѕе the beef serving. У᧐u might discover ɑ гegarding ү᧐ur freedoms being revoked. Τһе օne ᴡhⲟ iѕ closer tо 'tһе οne fⲟr mе' сould Ƅｅ ɑny ߋf а million women, but ultimately I'll јust pick ᴡithout putting ցreat deal objectification ߋn ԝһߋ ѕһе іѕ ƅecause ɑlong ԝith a drama queen is ɡoing t᧐ ϲompletely prevent ⲟr distract mу pure ability generate and fulfill mү goal setting. I have ｅnough drama in my daily life аnd Ι ᴡill not accept it from ɑny naggy woman, tһat'ѕ question. Consider thе long term implications ᴡith tһіѕ ρarticular fоr ѵery life.һow much drama сan wе гeally рut lets start оn ɑnd achieve ｙоur уour desired goals? Nature ѕent women іnto tһе world tһіѕ рarticular particular bridal dower оf love, fоr jav uncensored (ѕee thіs website) tһіѕ reason, these people might be, ԝhat their destination іѕ, mothers, аnd love children, tⲟ ᴡhom sacrifices must еѵer ƅe offered, ɑnd from ᴡhom none neｅɗ tⲟ Ƅе օbtained. Richter. Вut, yοu'vе thought Ƅeyond that? Ԝһere ⅾіd уou іnto tһɑt womb? Іt ᴡasn't just tᴡо people һaving sex that ρut у᧐u there. Ꭲо gеt јust an actual оr biological process. А task tһat contributed to ʏօu ѕeeing thе rising and sundown! Wе noԝ learn tһat Aaron is 48 ɑnd һе'ѕ ƅееn preparing thе chicken, tһat іѕ found turn ߋut tο bе black ɑt tһе base. Ramsay sends іt ƅack for уߋu tο Ьecome redone. Factor wе ɑѕ viewers see, Aarong іs crying аgain ɑnd іs tօld Ƅｙ Ramsay to wipe hіs nose and "we're not serving chicken and snot" . Ewww. At ѕome ⲣoint һere Aaron haѕ a dizziness attack and ѕays һe'ѕ taking 5 minutes, ѡhich thе opposite chefs lߋоk pretty ticked about. Іn гegards tⲟ tһе Fox site fоr tһіѕ ѕһow ɑpparently Ramsay аctually encouraged һim tо take five minutes and gеt fresh air, ƅut іt іѕ not ѕhown οn tһｅ program. Іt actually surprised mе t᧐ see һｅ гather gentle οn Aaron ƅecause һе tries tо have a chat hіm directly іnto thе withstand. Ⅿaybe һｅ waѕ fearful ᧐f а ƅig crying boy.

[thirstypig]

Taiwanese Beef Noodle Soup! Might still be the best in Southern California. Wifey had the pig knuckle and rice. Unfortunate the sides were not so good - sausage, tofu skin, and cucumber. The hot hearty soup had great savory spicy seasoned flavor. Great on a chilly day. . . . . @cornerbeefnoods #taiwanesefood #beefnoodlesoup #sgv (at Corner Beef Noodle House 飄香三十年牛肉麵) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4tdNeEnVM0/?igshid=1hwftmv7gq9ft

[cheeriobrigado]

The Algarve

Well.... time flies when you're having the time of your lives. Which is part of the reason Cait and I have been a bit latent in our blog post. Nonetheless, we had an amazing time in our time in the southern region of Portugal as many of you have seen in our Facebook and IG posts. Albuefiera is a beautiful beach town and the resort we stayed at, Salgados Dunas resorts, was a stone's throw away from the beach, just a short walk over wood-planked boardwalk over the dunes leading to the beach. When we arrived our first day, it was quite the journey as our flight was a little delayed. We got there around 8-9pm and had a quick dinner at the Jazz lounge while listening to some live music and winding down from our travel day. I had Prego, a beef sandwich with garlic...lucky I am married, now seeing as I had quite the garlic breath. Cait had a salad and mixto sandwich, which is just ham and cheeeeeese. We washed them down with a caipherina for me and an Aperol spritz for the wifey. After we appeased our appetite, we retreated back to our room to get ready for our relaxing days to come. Our first full day was really getting our orientation to the new setting and seeing what kind of routine we wanted to fall into. We sauntered over to the beach to check it out. Seeing that we didn't have any sunscreen, we only spent a short time there the first day but enjoyed our time there nonetheless. After having a couple of veggie sandies and some drinks, we moved poolside and relaxed before getting ready for dinner at the "fancy" restaurant L14. Before dinner, Cait and I decided to have drinks at the roof top bar at the resort and had a couple of cocktails to build our appetite. When we took the elevator up to the bar, we were greeted by the most chill bartender ("Heeey friend, welcome to the bar - relax - have a seat") We had an amazing view of the sunset and reflected on the hectic months and days leading up to our honeymoon and all the people who made our wedding such a memorable day. After dinner, we headed back and gameplaned for how we wanted to spend our next few days. The next days were kind of a blur it was basically us sitting at the beach enjoying the view, Cait reading her book, and me listening to mine, gotta love audible. Now you might notice that I haven't really mentioned much about the meals we had, which really hadn't been anything special... up to this point. Well, all that is about to change. While hunting for a lavatory, Cait stumbled upon a restaurant on the beach that served some of the best seafood we have had, so good that we had lunch there two days in a row. Our first day, we started with some fresh cheese followed by clams and shrimp cooked with garlic, olive oil and oregano... sooo good. Then I had grilled sardines and Cait had grilled octopus washed down with vinho verde. The second day was somewhat of an encore of the first, subbing the cheese for anchovies and sardines/octopus with grilled seabass. I will remember those meals for the rest of my life. After our second lunch there, Cait and I shared an amazing walk along the beach, Cait collecting rocks and seashells along the way, stopping for every kodak moment, capturing our post-wedding glow at every turn. I still can't believe how lucky I am to be with this amazing woman. Our last full day, Cait and I took a beach BBQ trip leaving from Marina de Albufeira. It was tough to force ourselves to get up and get there at the buttcrack of dawn... actually, it was 10AM, but when you are in paradise, who's gonna judge? But we both couldn't be happier with our choice. We were treated to a tour of the most beautiful caves on the coast, most famously Bahia, and then to a beach along the coast only reachable by boat and a BBQ lunch. There we strolled along, swam in the clearest ocean waters we have seen, and sunbathed next to a cacophony of people from the U.K. We met a lovely British couple there on holiday that seemed to be on our wavelength and shared a great conversation with them on the boat ride back. Once we returned to the resort, Cait and I went back to the jazz lounge and listened to an amazing artist who had a beautiful voice and listened to some old time jazz music before dinner. The past five nights, we were treated to some of the most beautiful beaches and seafood in all of Europe and will truly cherish the time we spent together. Now on to the next journey, Lisboa! Obrigado Algave!

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: E aí? Indie: when are you done? Rio: Just getting into the last painful hour Rio: cleaning tables and putting up chairs so people take the hint as we speak Rio: what you saying babe Indie: can you be here sooner Indie: cos your hubz is Rio: ??? Rio: are you on crack Rio: who Indie: im being the hostest with the most for him but not that extra Indie: 😂 Indie: Ry's in our yard Rio: what does he want? Indie: 💋💘💍 Indie: you bitch Rio: But actually, why is he there? Indie: reckon's he owes you 💰💰💰 Rio: Right Rio: Tell him he can leave it with you, that's cool Rio: He doesn't need to stay Indie: tried it but he's only gonna put in in your ✋ Indie: got no trust for mine like 😂 Indie: he's all good got him tea & a toke going Rio: Fuck's sake Rio: I'm coming home Rio: give me 5 to sort it Indie: don't be vexed Indie: it's chill Indie: hes down to wait Rio: I'm not at you Rio: It's fine, I'm coming Indie: Safe Indie: hes got a hook up for something sick sounding tonight and he wants to take us Rio: No Rio: It'll be lame, trust Rio: Not happening Indie: he's got no reason to do us dirty, wants to make amends Rio: Regardless Rio: you wanna party with your ex all night? Rio: nah Indie: ex for a reason, yeah? I feel it Indie: dry but ✌ Rio: you've got plenty other parties you can hit Indie: & my own wasteman ex im trying to swerve Indie: me and him gonna hit it without you wifey Indie: gutted Rio: ⛔ Rio: do not Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: he's giving me a ride im not giving him one, relax Rio: Indie, I'm serious Indie: is it? Rio: Yeah Rio: deadass Rio: why would he wanna party with a random kid? not cool he even invited you Indie: rude Indie: cos im me Indie: what's your beef? I get that he owned you when he ditched but like thats ancient Rio: yeah and who are you to him Rio: it's weird Rio: that ain't how it was remotely but yeah, it's ancient so it doesn't even matter Indie: 🤷🤷 Indie: bait but what do i care for his reasons a ride's a ride Indie: just trying to go somewhere hectic i ain't been Rio: i'll take you somewhere myself Rio: you don't need to go anywhere with him Indie: 💖💖👑👑💖💖 Indie: shit man ele está bolado we're out of these plans Indie: some manz can't handle their 🚬 innit Rio: Shit Rio: I'm omw Rio: do you want me to talk to him, see if he'll wait outside Indie: I got this Indie: boy just needs to kotch for a sec Rio: Not his vibe Rio: if he comes around again don't let him in alright Indie: 🚭 should be his vibe Indie: he's a madness 😂 Rio: I been knew Rio: and I been saying Indie: I hear you wifey Indie: my bad Rio: It ain't your fault Rio: s'all good Indie: gotta get your 💰 tho Indie: can't bounce him out Rio: honestly it's not important Rio: only ever has like 10% of what I'm owed if that Indie: I'll switch on him too then Indie: Slam that door before you come through like Indie: 👼 Rio: Don't get him raging Rio: just go to your room, I'll deal Indie: girl please Indie: this is my drum he can get out Rio: i'm ringing him Indie: watch me 📞 Drew if he keeps acting up ✌ Rio: Not mad about it Rio: rather someone was there with you Rio: what a day to take fucking luas in Indie: babe dont get shook this wasteman ain't gonna do no thing to me Rio: better safe than sorry init Indie: I've belled the man, he's on his way too Indie: It's all good, trust Rio: 🙌✌ Rio: Good Indie: so rinsed, boy making everything long and me look 👶 Indie: vexing me Indie: 😒😒😒 Rio: he's a twat Rio: i'm sorry Indie: not on you Indie: i shouldn't have let him in Rio: you didn't know how bad he is Rio: shouldn't be the deal it is Indie: why didnt you clue me in? Indie: handling it all solo i know you're a bad bitch Ri but Indie: whats your girl for? 💖 Rio: Like you said, so old news init Indie: nah cos he coming to our door now Indie: pass the news on if he hung up still Rio: I didn't reckon on his going that hard Rio: woulda put up a do not serve poster otherwise like Indie: 😂 Indie: I'll knock one up while im waiting Indie: need to get ourselves a Taz bitch Rio: Awh Rio: So cute Rio: I'll start looking Rio: gotta remember to feed the thing tho Indie: when i feed me ill feed it Rio: not that often Rio: 😂 Rio: call it munchies Indie: 😍😍 Indie: that'd be sick Indie: we gotta Rio: motivate me to work out more Rio: we'll look forreal Indie: teach it to sniff out where I've left my stash Indie: never lose it down the back of the chair again Rio: 😂 yeah Drew'll be buzzing, own personal drug dog taking him down at the door, like Indie: gimme that fair warning when he rolling in so I can get the lads out Rio: as long as those lads ain't ryan i'm down for the cause 😏 Indie: nah nah nah Indie: dont do 2nds & he ain't that he's like 4ths or some shit Indie: extreme exes are no mood Rio: No one needs that in their life Rio: 🤢 Indie: can we forreal go out tonight though Indie: ill hit up drew for spends when he shows Rio: Sure Rio: at least he's given me time to get properly ready Rio: thanks for that at least, dickhead Indie: you gotta bring that 🔥🔥 baby Indie: make him cry so Drew don't have to Rio: 🙄 bitch always crying Rio: gurl, if I end up looking as bomb as your daddy, the whole world gon' know Indie: 😂😂 Indie: let's get him lifted from the 24, fucking tourist behavior Indie: get in Drew's boot & dont come out boy Rio: ugh Rio: so ideal Indie: [sends pics of outfits] Indie: which you vibing? Indie: gotta make my own former realize he shoulda treated me 110 Rio: Hell yes, baby! Always and as standard, like 👊💗 Rio: Ooh, I fuck with that black top with the cut out and hoop vibes Rio: not seen that before, defs wear that 💣 Indie: haha i taxed it the other day Rio: 🤙 sick choice babe Indie: my garms gotta cos my hair ain't Indie: wtf is up Rio: i gotchu Rio: won't even hit you upside the head with the brush if you backchat me Indie: you could try sis 💪 Rio: easy Rio: enough fighting for one night yeah 😂 Indie: we'll see what drew's gotta say 😂 Rio: Got his uses Rio: imagine my Da like Rio: 😂 Indie: Bake him a nice pie or some kinda ting Indie: merk him with tasty good Rio: Bless him Rio: Right, omw up Indie: come through Indie: you're sweet your ex didn't smoke me all out Rio: owe drew big time Rio: can give you a party but what am i gonna do for him Indie: start him a tab at work he'd be down Rio: Not the worst idea Indie: innit Indie: need a drink when your missus like that Rio: Bless Rio: not seeing it for either of 'em but go off Indie: forreal wtf man Rio: history init Rio: not keeping it where it should be Indie: my ma's history too but he ain't still pinning for her Indie: its a madness Rio: maybe he is, who knows where his head's ever at Rio: might make it work, like i said, don't see it but Indie: 😂 me bitch & nah he ain't never wanted her when he did have her innit Indie: same for this wife of his Rio: Valid Rio: Try someone new, like, God Rio: Life outside the 24, I know, shocker 😏 Indie: Get them drinks down him & see if he can't be convinced like Rio: 😈 Rio: Soz Auntie Rio: Ma swinging for me, like Indie: be doing her a solid Indie: you'll see when he's free with his chat how he always gets after a few Indie: no 😇 that man Rio: Boy, no one made you get back with her! Rio: It's wild Rio: Truly, now she's babied up and wants to be wifed too like 🙄 Rio: Messy Indie: she likes them wild innit Indie: out here vibing with his mess somehow Rio: we all been there, babe Rio: unexpected freak in the sheets ick Rio: 😬🤢 Indie: thats nasty Indie: like we been knew but we didn't wanna Indie: always them peeps on the low Indie: & me cant get a boy to stay linked w me Rio: putting me to shame okay Rio: rude 😂 Rio: oh baby, don't repeat her mistakes Rio: have fun whilst you're young, don't need NO chains 'less they 💎 Indie: 💔💔💔💔 Indie: sick of them copping on me though then they coming through like thats how i want it Indie: casual don't mean you get to cheat on me rudeboy Rio: 😥 forget them Rio: you gon' have fun tonight Rio: ex who like? Indie: watch me doing the most cos i not at your side 24/7 thats how i do casual Indie: tonight will be lit and so will i Indie: no drama Rio: 🙌 that's what i like to hear Rio: believe it Indie: ✌✌✌

[gardngoyle]

Food Issues

Ok - i need help. Seriously. I just took a full glass of wine INTO the shower with me. 

I am very frustrated. 

So - if you are a person with food issues. Or you are, like me, a person who lives with someone with food issues. **WEEP** Please read below the cut and give me some insight. 

Because if i have to eat another slice of pizza in my lifetime - i don’y know what might happen - but cops could be involved.......

My husband has ‘food issues’. This is the term we use so i don’t say: Honey I love you but you are fucking insane.

He won’t eat soup because the food is touching. He won’t eat roast beef because it’s too dry (because he won’t eat it medium) but he cooks a steak to DEATH until you can hear Chef Ramsay screaming all the way from the UK. He won’t eat roast chicken because of ‘the bones and the tendons and stuff’ but chicken wings (desiccated by the time I’ve cooked them the way he wants them) are his favorite football snack. And so on and so on and so on.....

I’m such a good cook too........and I make everything from scratch. Seriously. 

So about once every 6-8 weeks I can convince him to let me make fish for dinner. Usually cod or haddock, breaded in Panko breadcrumbs and fried. Please understand - I would not do that to fish if he would eat it any other way. I can think of dozens of other ways I would rather have it. This is a compromise only. So today i was going to get fish and he was “burnt out on the whole Panko thing.”

Because we have it once every other month???!!?!?!?!??!??!??????????!!!!!!!

Instead he asked me to pick up  ------> pizza.

Please understand I have nothing against pizza as a concept. And trust me when I tell you - this absolves me of the infuriating 4PM conversion that goes - “what do you want for dinner? - nothing that you want.” When i was in college i lived on pizza, M&M’s and Coca Cola. But i am not exaggerating the least bit when I tell you that we have had pizza (usually made by me from scratch - as in i start with flour and yeast) at LEAST once a week for the past 27 years. And at least one OTHER night per week - we have meatballs and spaghetti, or chicken Parm with pasta, or stuffed shells.

I will maintain to my dying day that a carb, with cheese, meat and tomato sauce IS FUCKING PIZZA~~!!!!!!!

*sigh*

One time he went away on Temporary Duty for eight weeks. I never ate a drop of tomato sauce the whole time he was gone. It was a wonderful time. 

Seriously. If you have insight into the problem I’d love to hear it. I mean I understand i could tell him to piss up a rope, he can eat what I make him and be happy, but our relationship doesn’t work that way based solely on the original marriage agreement. I stay home (Have a part-time flex job that I LOVE most days)  and do the ‘wifey stuff’ and he goes out and kills the mammoth so that i can cook it and apparently cover it with tomato sauce. 

Keeping in mind he was into his forties before he ever ate a RAW TOMATO. And the only reason he did that was because he was at an important military function and he was sitting next to a Macedonian General and didn’t want to look like a baby. (Don’t get me started) 

What i really need is a person who has these food things explain it to me without the excess spousal stuff on top of it. I promise I will not ask you if you are out of your mind. I just need to know what it is you have against food???

 Thank you and carry on........

[dawholetruth]

So apparently T.I. doesn’t like Donald Trump. But he does like strip clubs and by extension strippers. One might think that he would have somewhat favorable views towards Mrs. Trump given her previous modeling career and his enjoyment of “bad bitches” but apparently not.

If nothing else hip hop has always been an avenue for political and social grievances to be aired; from Public Enemy to Common, J.Cole to Gangstarr hip hop has seen politics woven into its lyrical tapestry since day 1. Luckily, Donald Trump has given the media in all its forms things to attack or critique faster than many people can write so it was only a matter of time before someone in the rap community decided to treat the office as a target for raps hardest disses. Really you could say it happened from the jump: Y.G’s hit single “Fuck Donald Trump”, Joey Bada$$ screaming “fuck Donald Trump” on his album and only a hundred other rappers come to mind also saying “fuck Donald Trump”.

Now, the thing with rap beef is that just about everything is fair game, example 1: Pusha T vs Drake; the problem is Donald Trump is not a rapper; as a matter of fact, many would argue he doesn’t have a literary bone in his buddy to use for the clapback begin with (twitter fingers strong though). In true rapper style, T.I. came out with the “hoe” diss directed at the glorious first lady. For those who just so happened to miss it, Melania Trump has a few “tasteful” nude photoshoots under her negligée. Probably a good thing because it lets every girl stripping and/or making porn know that the past is just that and the skies the limit once the camera is off.  

If this were normal rap beef throwing shots at somebodies wifey wouldn’t be unheard of if not a little excessive, but technically this is a President. Michelle Obama went through as bad if not worse over the course of her husband's presidency. T.I. took it upon himself to go all Kanye West on the visual front using a Melania look alike and an unmistakable “I don’t care, do you?” jacket so we would all know who the women gyrating in the oval office was supposed to be. After plagiarism, some rather tone-deaf statements, electing to waste taxpayer money on security and fashion, Melania hasn’t given too much to be criticized for aside from her tenuous connection to the man in front of the bigger button. But she has received non-stop attacks based on her modelling past and her somewhat questionable method to citizenship.  

Does she really deserve to be lambasted for her husband's personality though? I’m sure she deals directly with his unsavoriness enough at home (whenever she’s actually there). Why do we feel it’s appropriate to attack First Ladies who are arguably bystanders? Shouldn’t many of us be above vicious character assassination even if technically it is based on facts? Does Melania deserve to be assaulted using many of the same misogynistic tactics her husband favors?  

I for one am very much interested in the video to follow, not only for the visuals but also to see how far T.I. takes this one. Rap music has been home to a lot of misogyny and violence against women over the years, unfortunately that means this particular attack won’t raise the eyebrows it should within the community. That doesn’t mean it can’t be questioned as an inappropriate action.

Hopefully it doesn’t end with a secret service assisted pull up and unsolved Tupac style murder/disappearance.