#they usually just say im way overreacting and when i was a kid i just believed them i guess

[bradshawed]

OKAY OKAY YOU DONT HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS AT ALL BUT YOU SHOULD WRITE LIKE A STEVE ONESHOT THING WHERE HES DATING (Y/N OR OC IM NOT PICKY) BUT HES STILL PINING FOR NANCY AND LIKE STILL IN LOVE WITH HER SO HIS S/O BREAKS UP WITH HIM BC SHES TIRED OF BEING LIKE "A BACKUP OPTION" AND ALWAYS SECOND CHOICE TO NANCY AND ITS LIKE SUPER ANGSTY AND BASICALLY IT TAKES BEING WITHOUT THEM FOR STEVE TO REALIZE HOW MUCH HE LOVED THEM AND THEN THERES LIKE A LOVE CONFESSION. (THAT WAS A CRAZY RUN-ON SENTENCE OMG)

YOU CAN IGNORE THIS IF YOU DONT LIKE THE IDEA THO <3

Second Best — Steve Harrington

summary — nancy wheeler, the one who got away. she’d always be his first love and you’d always be second best so what was the point of pretending he could love you even just a little?

warning/tags — fem!reader, she/her pronouns, angst, steve being dumb, swearing, bits of stancy, arguing, fluff, the gang scheming

note — thank you so much for requesting! I absolutely adore this idea and loved writing it so so much, I hope I did it justice even if I did slightly go off the prompt. you’re an incredible writer, one of my favourites on wp, and I can’t wait to read your works on here too. I love you tons! thank you again and I hope you like it <3 also, credits to soph for steve’s middle name, ilysm!

word count — 2.5k words

This was the third time in the space of a couple of minutes that you’ve caught Steve staring at Nancy from where he sat on the couch, to say you were sick of it would be an understatement.

It had been movie night with the whole group which had truthfully been long overdue and very much needed but surprisingly difficult to plan with everyone’s hectic schedules. But here you all were, finally relaxing for the first time in months in Steve’s spacious living room among a bundle of cushions, in what should’ve resembled a fort built by the boys. The second movie of the night was playing on the projector that Robin and Max had set up and an abundance of snacks and sugary drinks had been brought beforehand to account for everyone’s tastebuds. With the way things were going, however, it seemed like staying over at Steve’s after the night was over was simply out of the question.

Dustin sent you a sad look from his position on the floor smothered by multiple duvets. It would have been funny if it hadn’t been for the situation. The room seemed to cool another ten degrees when Steve unwrapped his arm from around your shoulders mid-scene, shifting away from you slightly. You were both oceans apart and yet he didn’t even seem to notice the space between you. And this wasn’t the first time it had happened either.

The credits rolled in and Nancy offered to grab more snacks while the kids decided on the next movie. Steve practically jumped at the chance to follow her to the kitchen, or maybe you were just overreacting like usual. It didn’t matter anyway, the fact was that he was with her, not you and the way he looked at her told you everything that had been left unsaid.

You quietly got up from your place on the couch, surrounded by colourful blankets and softly padded around the room, picking up your car keys from where you’d left them and moving to the hallway to put on your coat and shoes. El moved to stop you but Eddie gently placed a hand on her shoulder, letting you go with a sad nod. You couldn’t stay, they knew that, but still, some part of you wishes they would’ve asked. You might have not been there from the beginning but they loved you all the same, if not even more and vice versa. You were the missing piece in their family and for them, you’d do anything even if it meant watching Steve pin for his ex girlfriend.

You’d almost made it to your car before Steve appeared at the door, the expression on his face a mix of everything and seemingly nothing you were looking for all at once. “Where are you going, the movie’s about to start. Mike’s picked out some cheesy horror movie which I know you love to watch and Nance has opened up the last pack of those giggles cookies you love with the weird faces on them-” You hated horror movies, regardless of if they were cheesy and predictable or not, and those giggle cookies with fudge and vanilla cream in them- god you hate them too. You’d eat fudge by itself but for some reason when it’s added to something else it just doesn’t taste right to you.

“Steve.. I’m not feeling great, I’m gonna head home a little early.” You knew he didn’t believe you. You never could lie to him, and his judging eyes told you enough. Not to mention you called him Steve, you never call him Steve, but he didn’t notice.

“You seemed fine a while ago to me. What’s wrong, maybe you can lay down in the spare room?” There he goes treating you like you’re one of the kids and not his girlfriend but that’s not what irks you the most, it’s the fact that mentions the spare room. Not his room, the spare. “Nance can give you one of her green teas, they’re magical I swear, you’ll feel better in an instant. Actually, let me ask her now.” He walked away towards the door, completely disregarding anything you’d said, acting for a moment that he was even paying attention to you tonight bringing up Nancy again and suddenly, you’re done.

“No!” Steve pauses mid stride, hand on the half opened door, slowly turning around shocked by the volume and the panic in your voice, “I’m done Steve, I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Wh-what?!”

“You’re in love with Nancy.”

“I’m what-?!”

“Ha, see you can’t even deny it.”

“Because there’s nothing to deny!” His voice raises even further. He’s never raised his voice at you. He knows how much you hate it and it reminds him of his father so he never did; guess there was a first time for everything.

“Don’t. You don’t love me, you never have. You don’t even know my favourite movie genre or my favourite snack-”

“Yes I do, I just told you!”

“Those are Nancy’s fucking favourites! See you’re pinning after her with those love sick eyes of yours and you don’t even know it.”

“What so not knowing your favourite movie genre or snack is a crime now?! So I’m expected to know everything about my girlfriend?” This elicits a rather loud scoff from you causing Steve to clench his fists in frustration and anger. “We’ve been dating for almost a year so yes, I do expect you to at least know those two things.”

Steve starts again but you cut him off fearing that if you don’t get it out now then you’ll go back to apologising to him the next day and burying it even deeper within you. “It’s her, it’s always been her. I don’t know why I even bothered but I thought you were over her, I truly did. But every time she walks into a room your eyes brighten and they don’t leave her for a single fucking second. You bring her up into every single conversation as if her ghost wasn’t already haunting our relationship and I feel like I’m always being compared to her in everything that I do. Stevie I love you, I truly do but I’m sick of feeling like I’m second place.”

Silence. He doesn’t say anything for what feels like forever. You wished he’d say something, anything, do something to prove you wrong, to tell you it was all in your head or that he’d change, that things would get better. A flash of emotion appears on his face before he puts back on his ‘King Steve’ mask. He never used that with you.

“Okay.” That’s all he says before turning back towards the door and leaving you standing out there in the cold.

That was months ago and here you were with the gang calling you from a pay phone on a Sunday. It seemed like your plans of crying your eyes out to another sappy romance movie that reminded you of your relationship with Steve had been ruined. “Heyyy Y/Nnnn”, came a sheepish voice from the other end of the phone call.

You knew they could feel your eye roll from there, “What do you guys need?”

“What, can’t we call our favourite adult and tell her that we miss her?!”

“Ignoring the fact that this is the first time you’ve called me in months, no Dustin, you can’t call without wanting something first. And favourite?! Ha, nice one. What do you want?”

“Can you please pick us up from the skatepark?” At least he had the common sense to give the phone to Max when the gang wanted something, they all knew she was your soft spot. Then for the millionth time that day, like every other day, your mind went straight to Steve. Where was he? Shouldn’t he be picking up the kids? Why would he just leave them there? They could’ve called anyone else, so why you? And then as if she knew the thoughts running through your head she added, “we didn’t want to bother Eddie and Steve was meant to pick us at two but we got bored and felt bad for asking him to pick us up earlier when he was already in a bad mood this morning and-”

“It’s okay sweetheart, hang tight and I’ll be there in ten. Don’t go anywhere and stick together okay?”

“Yes mum.” And Dustin was back.

He hung up the phone and you went to get changed as quick as you could, sliding along the wooden floor in your socks. If Steve was here now, he’d be laughing his beautiful laugh, teasing you before acting out the scene from ‘Risky Business’, maybe even twirling you around the living room. Shaking your head to prevent more tears from falling, you grabbed your coat and car keys and made your way out the door.

There was a catch. Of course there had to be a catch. Why didn’t you think about this before?!You’d successfully picked up the kids and they’d all piled into your car with their gear when Dustin remembered he’d left something important at Steve’s and needed to pick it up. So here you were driving to your ex boyfriend’s house cursing wildly in your head. It would be fine. You were only going to stay in the car. You wouldn’t even have to see him… right?

Wrong. Fate, aka the kids, had different plans.

Pulling into the driveway, the first thing you noticed was the fairy lights stung around the house. It was still light out, Christmas and New Years were over, Valentine’s Day was even further away, so why were there fairy lights? Why were there sunflowers lining the driveway? Had you stumbled upon Steve’s love confession to Nancy. Oh god. You hoped not.

Here you were, standing on Steve’s porch, knocking on his door instead of Dustin and you hadn’t the slightest clue of how you got there except you figured you’d been roped into some wild scheme that wasn’t going to end well. Fuck me.

Steve Willow Harrington opened the door in all his beautiful glory holding a bouquet of sunflowers, a pack of care bear waffles and ‘The Breakfast Club’. Who the hell allowed him to look so good?!

“Hi.”

No, this was absolutely not happening. He would not turn your heart into mush with one syllable. You started to turn around to leave but his reflexes were faster and he grabbed your hand, the skin heating up under his touch and your heart kickstarted into motion at the electricity that danced along his fingers onto yours. “Please. Don’t go.”

You froze in place. Head and heart conflicted but once you saw the expression on the kids’ faces you understood. He gently pulled you towards him, albeit with a little caution, turning your body but still you refused to look at him. “These are for you.” You accepted them, focusing on the sunshine petals instead of his face until your felt his fingers gently gripping your chin, tilting your head upwards so you were looking into his eyes. Steve’s eyes shone with the telltale sign of tears and regret and something else that you’d only seen when he looked at her. It was love. No. It couldn’t be. You took a step back needing the distance to gather your thoughts. He didn’t get to do this to you, he didn’t get to hurt you all over again.

“I’m sorry. I-” you shook your head, your own tears glistening your eyes making them shine in the fairy lights. “I had a whole speech planned out funnily enough but I see you again for one second and you’ve got speechless. God I- I drove over to your house in the middle of the night to apologise after that day and I chickened out every single time until they all knocked some sense into me.” He nodded behind you towards where the kids were anxiously watching the scene unfolding before them.

“I thought I heard your car but every time I’d look out the window there was no one there so I stopped looking.”

Steve sighed sadly, “You deserve better- you deserved better. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I shouldn’t have taken you for granted. I shouldn’t have made you feel like you were second place, not to Nancy and not to anyone. I should have showed you I cared, that you mattered, that I did know you loved binge watching those sappy romance movies and pointing out bits that reminded you of us and that your favourite snack were those ridiculously overpriced care bear waffles with the rainbow specks of berries because you’d had them since you were a child and refused to give them up. But I didn’t do any of the things I should have. I fucked up and I don’t deserve you. And the worst thing is, I don’t even have a reason why I did them. I think some part of me was terrified of the uncertainty, of the unknown, of how it felt to have someone I was scared to lose. So I buried how I felt about you and turned to something familiar, to something that I could hold onto even if I didn’t actually care about them. It took losing you to realise just how wrong I was and how badly I’d treated you. And I know it doesn’t justify any of what I did to you but I want you to know that I’m sorry and if I could do it all over again, I would do it differently. I would fight for you instead of leaving you there and I would show you exactly how I feel about you.”

You were both crying now, “and how do you feel about me?” The air stilled in anticipation, your fingers twisting around the fabric of your sleeve in a nervous dance.

“I love you.”

That admission of love, and the fact that he said it so easily like it was a fact that everyone should know, knocked the air out of your lungs. You felt breathless after his speech.

“I won’t deny that you hurt me and maybe I do deserve better but I know you can give it to me just as I hope I can give it to you. It won’t be easy and it will take time and a lot of work to get to- to us but if you’re willing to put in the work…” Steve nodded his head enthusiastically, tears slipping down his cheeks for he’d feared the worst, “then I am too.” Then came his megawatt smile, eyes crinkling at the edges from pure happiness. He pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulders delicately so as to not damage the flowers, while yours wrapped around his waist. The kids were dancing by your car, pumping their fists into the air but neither of you payed any attention to them.

“And for the record, I love you too Stevie.”

[sketching-shark]

Free my man zhu bajie. He doesn’t deserve lmk fandom maltreatment (this doesn’t include zhu da chu. I can make another post about him but this is specifically for zhu bajie from the hit classic:journey to the west.

I dont vibe w the switched up the lmk fandom has to zhu bajie bc of s4. Like oh yall hated bc “he was lazy and make mess” but one good interaction w tang and now fandom is like “tang new bf!!” The audacity to reduce him like that

Being a zhu bajie stan is rough out here. Most dont gets him right in the western fandom esp the lmk fandom.

If you’re going to argue with me about Zhu Bajie aka Zhu Wuneng aka marshal Tianpeng of the heavenly reeds’ character, you better have actual sounds reason and evidence or else im discounting your arguments. Do not make baseless assumptions and make it a whole reason why this character suck. Dont be like this.

Be better. Zhu bajie did not work hard to be renounced like this. Be a zhu bajie fan. BE LIKE ZHU BAJIE. HE KNOWS WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE OVERWORKED AND WANTING BREAKS. The journey would be too serious and short if it weren’t for everyone unapologetic for being him: zhu bajie.

Give this man his flowers.

Monkie Kid spoilers & complaining below so usual drill don't like don't read

Huh tbh anon I wasn't actually aware of the Monkie Kid fandom saying anything particularly bad about Zhu Bajie mainly because he seemed to be one of those characters that's mostly ignored on account of being A) almost entirely absent in the cartoon itself and B) all but confirmed dead asfgerrwf. Also in all honestly it actually can be pretty easy to develop a negative opinion about the og pilgrims when you're dealing with simplified portrayals of who they are and why they act the way they do; as is it takes them +1400 pages to reach enlightenment in the og classic, and a LOT of that is dedicated to exploring different sides of them and presenting their backstories, and given that Monkie Kid's episodes are like 10 minutes each and largely concerned with other characters well that's just not something it's had time or interest in showing, even with short references to Zhu Bajie working hard to become a better person. That said, I do have some memory of people writing about about Zhu Bajie being bad on account of the times he convinced Tang Sanzang that Sun Wukong was in the wrong and got the monkey a session of headband torture times which so far Monkie Kid hasn't shown but only hinted at happening, buuuuuuut then again given the extent to which Flying Bark has made the Monkey King a destructive bumbling clown even back during his journey & warlord days chances seem good that he actually was in the wrong for whatever thing he did that got him a brain squeeze even if the headband was a vicious overreaction, & given the amount of fanart out there of lego show SWK getting punched and yelled at for justified reasons I've stumbled across while not even looking I have a feeling a good chunk of the fandom implicitly agrees (X_X). But yeah, full agree anon that shit's rough out there in the western jttw-adjacent fandom for the og pilgrims :(

[whatologys]

Can i request a movie lloyd x reader Who was lloyds bully (like enemys to lovers)(if you dont write movie lloyd you can do from series). Thank you in advance

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: curse words

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤: lloyd garmadon x gn!reader

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 1,0 k

𝔯𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔡: yes/no

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: fluff :))))

𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖙𝖘: none :p

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰: IM BACK, WHOA DIDNT THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN DID YOU

this will take place when they're in high school

also, i have never written an enemies to lovers since i dont really read lots of those but i did my best <3

and lastly, i have not seen the movie (cuz of the voice actors lol) so it'll probably be all over the place

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: reader used to bully lloyd but due too reasons, they become friends

You weren't a bully, well, you wouldn't call yourself that. Others might disagree with you though. You only ever called people mean names, and when those people happend to be the son of a very famous villain it was just to easy.

Whenever somebody would say something about it, you'd never blame yourself. "Well, I didn't start it." or "My friends were doing it, otherwise I'd be so lame.". Nope, it was never your fault. The only reason you were thinking about it now, was because your parent had said it wasn't a good idea and would just be cruel to continue.

Before continuing your pathetic attempt at trying to justify your actions, you slammed your locker shut and looked over at a few of your friends. They were picking on a certain boy with blonde hair, you felt bad for him, you really did, but it was just easy to make a sad kid a little more sad.

Hearing the bell ring, you decided against throwing lots of mean words at the boy. So when walking past, you gracefully ignored your friends' calls to yell at the boy.

Looking at your watch, you realised it was already 5 pm, and normally you'd be sitting on your bed right now, watching your favourite show instead of doing homework. But no, you were sitting in the hospital waiting room because your parents got into a car accident.

This wasn't going to be one of those stories where the orphan changes their lives for the better, because your parents were going to be fine. Hey, you were delighted that your parents weren't dying, but your life wasn't one of those weird movies. Your life was going to be just the same as it was before.

Or that's what you thought right up until you entered your school building. Shaking the rain of your umbrella just out the door, you realised some kids were staring at you while trying not to get noticed, others just blatently pointed at you and talked about what had happend. It could be expected, teenagers have never been really nice, but what you hadn't thought about were your 'friends' who would definently like a new target.

It was safe to say you weren't sitting with them at lunch and there was no way you were sitting in the cafeteria, all the cliches had already formed. Usually you'd just sit outside, but sadly it had been raining all day and there was no sign of it stopping anytime soon.

Deciding to sit in the hallway, you picked up your tray and went your merry way. Finally plopping down on a clean looking spot on the floor, you noticed you weren't the only one sitting out here. "Hi." the boy with his signature green hoodie said. You smiled and nodded as a way of saying hello and started eating.

"I'm sorry about what happend, I heard your parents are still in the hospital." you smiled at his words and said "It's alright, they'll be fine, everyone is just overreacting.". He laughed "Yea, people here tend to do that.".

Thinking about what you had said to him in the past months you decided to apologise. "That was really shit of me and I'm sorry, you actually look nice.". "Oh you think I look nice?". You cringed at your own wording and clarified you thought he looked like a nice person. He accepted your apologies and talked with you. Before you knew it, the bell rang and you both went your way again.

From that day on you sat with Lloyd quite often, every lunch period really. You both helped each other with homework and talked about how everything was going. Lloyd talked about his family a lot, about how he lives with his uncle and his siblings. You'd always say that you thought he had a lot of brothers and he'd always chuckle and agree.

You did notice they were very close and knew that they told each other everything. Which is why you were a little stressed when he asked you to come over to study for math, because lunch is not enough of time to eat and explain half your math course. You agreed of course, you weren't to shabby at math so you could help him.

To your surprise, Lloyds siblings didn't make a fuss about you being his former bully, but even if they did you would have understood. You found something to bond over with all of them, which brought Lloyd a lot of joy.

Standing outside Lloyds house, you were still trying to comprehend what he had said. "I know it sounds crazy, but please believe me." yea, he was right, this was crazy, your best friend was the green ninja. "That's pretty awesome." you said, after what sounded an eternity. He sighed happily and asked you what you had to say.

You had said, just moments before you had something to tell Lloyd, to what he said that he also wanted to say something. But now, your news seemed not so important, so that is what you told the blonde boy. Still outside, now in the pouring rain, you decided to think of a way to say this in the easiest way possible. You coudn't come up with something on the spot so you just blurted it out. "I have a crush on you and I'd like to go on a date or something sometime.". You squinted a little as you looked at Lloyd, trying to decipher his reactions.

He mumbled something, and seeing you didn't understand him said a little louder "Can I kiss you?". You obviously nodded and moved your hands to his face. This is a moment that you'd fantasized about lots of nights before going to sleep, and it was happening. Your lips finally touched his and you hadn't felt so at ease with a person before.

[darlinguistics]

im sorry i dont usually post rants here but i need to get this out, ill put it under a cut

tw im talking about ABA therapy, and conversion therapy mentions. 

and i understand those would be triggering for many autistic people to read about but as someone who isnt autistic id really appreciate yalls reaction to this if its something youre comfy speaking about 

okay someone just like be blunt with me, esp the autistic community here, correct me if im wrong but isnt ABA therapy for autism like, bad??? horrible?? im not autistic and i have no personal experience with it but ive seen videos on it ive read about it and i always came away with this idea that it was really super flawed and irredeemable and just an outdated practice, kinda like conversion therapy for gay people in my mind. and like i knew it still happened anyway (like conversion therapy does) but i thought it was just Mostly understood to be Not Good. but heres where ive been losing my mind - im an undergrad student trying to become a speech-language pathologist one day and so im in a club at my school for SLP students and the literal PRESIDENT of the club like very openly is an ABA therapist for autistic kids on the side. like thats her job. ive heard her talk about it, its in her descriptions when shes listed on some websites, and every time i see it i feel like im being pranked like it feels like a dark joke or something.

like whats going on here someone just tell me how to feel please, am i just naive and apparently its Not super obvious how bad it is? or is ABA more nuanced than i thought and im overreacting? is there any way to do it in a not harmful way that i just havent heard of? or is it actually bad and just way more accepted that i thought it was??? i thought it was so obviously terrible but here i am in a stereotypical liberal school at a club meeting that asks for your pronouns and is all about advocating for people with disabilities and the president,, is an ABA therapist. when like half of the people in this club would say theyre interested in working with patients on the spectrum if you asked. like thats horrifying to me and im not even autistic. 

like idk i dont wanna sound like a naive little kid being like “bad people exist?? impossible!!” so im sorry if im coming off like that but idk its just making me so sad and im so shocked and like disgusted and frankly embarrassed to associate with the club, but then i look around and no one else even seems to care and ugh. ugh ugh ugh. 

i knew id encounter some weird hypocrite shit like this in academia eventually especially in my field but i guess i wasnt expecting to see it so soon and so blatant and so like personal, like this girls only a few years older than me yknow? ok i need to stop ranting im just making myself upset i just feel helpless and thats just not productive

[cryptixani]

Hello! I saw you had matchups open and i was hoping i could get a romantic bnha matchup :)

>pronouns: She/her

>fandom(s): BNHA

>if you want a romantic or platonic match: Romantic please

>if you have a preference between heroes or villains (if applicable to the fandom):

I don't have a preference

>gender preference of your match:

Any gender is fine with me

>describe your personality:

I am introverted most of the time however i still don't mind chatting with people either. I also am empathetic and i will always stand up for what i believe in and i try to be someone people can go to for their problems. The weird thing is even though i try to be kind to everyone, there are times where i meet someone and i realize that person doesn't deserve kindness. Im also hot headed and even though i don't get into physical fights, if someone says something that hits close to home, i turn into a mean person and have made others cry. Not something im proud of i just snap back when someone disrespects me

>your likes and dislikes:

i enjoy cleaning, cooking, anything related to makeup and fashion related, taking care animals and children, Reading manga, playing video games and watching murder documentaries.

As far as dislikes go i don't like, close minded people, not having a sense of control of my life, being alone, being ignored, being compared to others and seeing others i care about in pain

>what type of relationship do you want? something intimate, independent? someone to take care of, someone to take care of you? get married, have kids? etc.:

I would like someone who is patient, doesn't mind me being clingy, and someone who will protect me.

>anything else you want me to know:

I have borderline personality disorder so its important to have someone who wont get annoyed with me and is reassuring

As far as kinks go, im a sub and my top there kinks are: praise, breeding and its not really a kink but aftercare is really important to me.

Thank you so much and have a good day/night !

hi hi thank you for submitting! sorry i got round to this so late but i hope you enjoy anyways <3

i match you with...

Keigo Takami

this one felt like somewhat of a no-brainer to me honestly, it just felt like you two would be a perfect fit for each other!

keigo appreciates your more introverted nature as a contrast to his extrovertedness, i think you both balance well for it.

is always on the lookout for when your social battery starts running dry in case he needs to whisk you away, especially because of how anywhere he goes people tend to flock.

he deeply respects your emphathetic nature and how you stand up for what you believe is right. it's all what makes a hero after all, and whether you yourself are a pro hero or not he believes its a very admirable trait to have.

your hot headedness doesn't put him off as much as it intrigues him. sure, it may sometimes be an overreaction and in those cases he might interject to ease the situation... but if you're simply defending yourself from a rude individual, and you're not actively getting physical, who's he to stop that?

i think he'd be good at reassuring you and making you feel safe/loved in terms of your BPD. he's good at easing tense situations, and always has a joke to lighten the mood, but if thats not what you need he'll also sit down and take care of you in any way you need.

you share an interest in fashion, so he likes browsing fashion magazines with you, and often takes you on little shopping sprees. his treat, of course.

hawks is very protective of you, rest assured that on his watch nothing bad would ever happen! he's also very observant and can usually even sus out potential danger before you register it.

hope you enjoyed!

[justagrin]

smth i shoved into a discord group specifically for people to talk about SA (tw for implied csa/rape/incest)

oooof one of my friends disclosed to me that (tw sa & incest) their dad SA'd them (at least once? idk if its a reoccuring thing i didnt ask any questions n they understandably clammed up n changed the subject n i said "hey if you ever need to talk about anything i have similar experiences" but oh boy is it lowkey triggering that stuff for me rn. idefk if my stuff counts as sa tho. like i know my dad sexualised me a lot like verbally as a kid and i remember being disgusted all the time and i remember being fucking terrified of him all the time even when he didn't seem to be doing anything. and i remember him often saying or doing stuff and i'd just think to meself "ok we're repressing that!" (unsurprisingly i don't remember what actually prompted that). i dont have any memories of him touching me but i have some of someone touching me and the way i react to certain sexual situations is sus as fuck, but honestly those could be two entirely different things but idk! idk. i just remember telling my mum that all the stuff he said made me uncomfy and predictably got told i was "overreacting" and that it was "normal" which turned into "he just doesn't know when something's inappropriate" and honestly thats the closest to closure i'm ever gonna get but whatever. anyway the dots aren't connected enough to me to outright say i relate and im sure as fuck not ready to actually talk about it to anyone irl but yeah. idk where i was going with this tbh. i have a notebook of stuff from my childhood related to that^ (from when i've remembered them, but most of the stuff in the book i can't remember unless i read it over again) and my friends who've seen it have reacted with pretty strong disgust but idk. my entire childhood was that & gaslighting myself into thinking i was overreacting (which btw!! lead to me getting SA'd and harassed so many fucking times as an adult!!!) so it was normal to me pfft and counsellors i've shown it to all refuse to give me a solid answer bc they don't wanna "risk giving me false memories") but agghhh. one thing i definitely remember is whenever i had discharge or my period in my teens i'd just. want to cry and shake and curl up and errrrrrrmmmmmmm thats not normal lol. something was definitely wrong there but idk if i'll ever fucking be able to figure out what that is.

ok yeah i dug the notebook out again and (same tw's as above, just kind of graphic and intense) yeah theres a bit in there about him crawling into my bes and i was freaked the fuck out so i just ran out of the room and when i told my mum i was told it was "normal". and theres a bit where i was 14 and drew art based on the song pantsu nugeru mon (lit: i can take off my panties) bc i was 14!! i wasn't THINKING anything secxual!! it was a song about growing up to me! so my dumb ass showed my dad bc i was proud of the art itself and he got really weird and intense and close and was like "what are you going to do when you take off your panties?" which. ew. gross. fuck off. oh and that one time i fell asleep on the sofa and i guess i had a sex dream or smth which i didnt think anything of until my dad randomly got intense and weird again and asked if i "had any interesting dreams" that night (which he never usually does ffs). oh and he fully called ma tease relatively recently actually, and said i should call my (now ex) boyfriend "daddy", has referred to himself as my "daddy" in THAT godawful tone and makes frequent BDSM jokes towards his sister which is just an example of the verbal shit i had to put up with and idk how anyone in the room when it happens can excuse it but to them i guess its one weird thing he said they can brush off bc they don't realise i had to hear it CONSTANTLY and deal with what he DID to and they didn't see the scary moments. i also remember reading a magazine article about incest/csa when i was like 11ish?? and idk WHAT it triggered but my absolute fear of my dad/older men in general kind of started after that and my mum always said it was reading the magazine that did it but bro i dont think one thing like that can elicit a decade or so of consistent fight or flight mode I think my body remembered stuff that I can't.

Jesus fucking christ thats the most concise way i've ever actually described that. idk if anyone can relate or anything. also honestly now that he's been relatively "good" for a few years now in terms of how he speaks to me i don't really get the fear response anymore. and i'm dependent on him for finances and medical stuff so its. whatever. i guess. i'm fucking terrified that if i ever have a daughter he'll pull the same shit (hence basically nuking my body with birth control lmao) and luckily my brother's kids are both boys so i don't believe he's a threat to them if he didnt treat my brothers the same way he did me ygm? but idk what i can actually do about it

[vquacki]

It's My Fatherly Duties!

It's My Fatherly Duties!

Short DAD Scenarios 

Characters: BONTEN - Rindou Haitani, Ran Haitani, Sanzu Haruchiyo

~ Inui Seishu, Kokonoi Hajime, Izana Kurokawa, 

~ Souya Kawata (Angry), Nahoya Kawata (Smiley)

Warning ⚠︎︎ : Mature content, cussing, MINORS DNI

Note : requested, I added some characters. Hope ya don’t mind! These are pretty short, just little things I put together. Word barf kinda..? Anyways- I hope you enjoy :))

R I N D O U 

His lashes fluttered open when he heard a loud crash coming from the hallway, along with a string of cuss words sounding like his daughter's voice. 

“What the hell was that?” You groaned, not a single word was uttered from your husband when he sprung out of bed, bolting to the bedroom down the corridor.

“Tohru?!” Rindou yelled, flinging open the door. Revealing your teenage daughter fully dressed, half way through her second story window. A facade of pillows under her blanket seeminging meant to be her ‘sleeping body’.

“Oh dad, I-”

“What the hell are you doing” The man was fuming by the ears, pajamas ruffled when he jolted out of his slumber. 

“Is Tohru okay?” You peeked from behind the broad shouldered man. 

“I was just going to get fresh air!” Your daughter lied, making up a somewhat excuse to appease her angered father. 

“Hey Tohru! Hurry up and get down here!” You heard a boy's voice call out, looking over at Rindou’s face to see the man's darkened expression.

“Who the fuck is down there? Is that a boy?!” He growled, stomping his feet over to the glass. Pushing past his daughter to take a look. 

“Oh shit- her dads here. Let’s book it!” The kids whispered, but loud enough for Rindou to make out, hastily running down the dark street. 

“You little shits! Don't you dare come back here!” Rindou growled, slamming the window shut in the process. 

“What! Dad!” Tohru whined, 

“You're so grounded young lady!” Rindou shouted, not caring for the sleeping neighbors beside his shared condo at three in the morning. 

“Rin, she was just having some fun!” You defended, you were also like her when you were her age, trouble makers run in your blood. Actually Rindou couldn't even talk- he was running roppongi at her age.  

“No! She's just too young to be hanging out with boys!” Rindou’s brows joined together as he withered in front of you. 

“But we dated when we were her age-” You deadpanned at him, 

“Grounded! My final answer!” 

R A N  

Ran was coming home from a late night bonten meeting, mouth agape when he saw his daughter’s feet dangling out from her window. 

Fearing the worst he sprinted to the ground below his child, hands outstretched to catch her if she were to misstep. 

“Mitsuri!” His voice boomed,

“Eh? Dad?!” His daughter stuttered, slowly slid out the window, climbing down like she had done this many times prior to this awkward occurrence. 

Toes easily touching the grass with ease, not a scratch upon the females porcelain skin. 

“Ran?” You yawned, cracking the door ajar. It was late, you waking up to your husband's screams outside your house. 

“Mitsuri, what are you doing climbing out your window like a maniac?!” Ran scowled, hands running through his messed up hair. Sweat dripping down his temple from the not so pleasant adrenaline rush. 

“I was just gonna hang out with some friends..” your daughter answered, fingers gripping the edge of her shirt, scarily waiting for her dad’s reaction. 

“At this time of night? .. out your window?”

“Ye-”

“Phone privileges. Give me it.” Ran demanded, palm stretched out. 

“But-” no question she was a tad bit spoiled by her father. You being the bad cop, while your husband played the good cop for his beloved daughter. 

“If you want to go anywhere all you got to do is ask!” Ran plucked the phone from his daughter's hand, a wave of relief washing over him. Secretly thanking whatever being watching over him that it wasn't some sort of gang related subject. 

“This is what you get for spoiling her!” You laughed from the sidelines, hand clutching your stomach.

“This is your fault too ya know!” Ran argued. 

“I’m the one who tries to discipline her! But someone always lets it go!” You emphasized the special somebody. 

“Whatever” Ran sighed, This was a lesson for the usual carefree man, a special lesson he wouldn't forget in the many years to come with his unborn future children. 

S A N Z U 

It was Sanzu’s best day of his life when his daughters were born, the two only being about one year apart. They were spoiled to the core, anything they wanted their money liberl father blessed them with. He thought they were the sweetest things ever, them both being a daddy's girl after all. 

He never would have expected to see both of his daughters outside his humble abode, standing beside two boys, most likely a double date. 

He stared in shock, hands pressed firmly against the glass, teeth gritting. 

“Huh? I tucked them into bed an hour ago” You rubbed your eyes, riding yourself of the sleepiness threatening to drown you. The pink haired only tutted his teeth, swifty twisting the door knob to confront the four children outside. 

“Oh you better run” your oldest daughter whispered, gesturing for the boys to make haste from her deadly father. 

“You better not come back here, unless you want trouble you fuckers!” Sanzu yelled, red in the eyes from anger. Not bothering to chase after the two scoundrels. 

“Dad, mom! What are you guys doing awake?” Your youngest asked, sheer panic in her eyes, watching her insane fathers unpleasant smile. 

“I swear you two will be the death of me” Sanzu uttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. A irked gleen in his orbs as he stared them down. 

“They were just friends dad, stop overreacting” the older daughter said, 

“I- You little shi-” He bit his lip to suppress his anger fueled words, knowing well it would definitely hurt his precious children's feelings. Having regretted it later if he were to say those sinful words. 

“Now now Sanzu, let's head to bed” You wrapped your arms around your lover, dragging him inside the house. 

“You can sort out their punishment tomorrow, after a good night's sleep” , coating him with reassuring words. That day he learned how misjudged he was of his children, even so he still loved them with all his heart.

I Z A N A 

Izana had his feet kicked up, relaxing in his office while he watched the moon. He had a clear view, the street lamps positioned next to the sidewalk, the side of his beautiful house facing his office window. He was enjoying his free time, mind taking over his body while he thought about his life choices. He was in ease until he saw his son's window light up, a long string of rope being tossed out the opening. 

Sitting up from his chair, he rushed over to his clear casement. Throwing his window open, a boy and girl standing beneath his son's window. The two holding the rope still as your child tried to slid down. 

“My my Yuki, where are you off to?” Izana laughed, nerves finally relaxing when he figured out what was going on. Calmly settling into the frame, head leaning on his chin. It wasn't like he had the right to be upset, he did much worse when he was his son's age. Robbing, fighting, killing. You name it, Izana’s done it. 

Sneaking out was nothing compared to what he did, but he wasn't gonna just let his son go. He was more wise now, he knew for a fact he didn't want his son to end up anything like him. Sure, he wanted the boy to have fun, but in a normal kid way. 

“Dad! Um- I”

“You better get your arse back up that window before I drag you around with that rope” Izana smiled, Totally different from the sentence he was portraying. Not forgetting his manners, giving a nonchalant wave to the other two kids. 

“Zana? Who are you talking to?” You asked, placing a cup of tea you had prepared for Izana on his desk. 

“Oh no one doll” Izana answered, closing the window before walking over to you. 

“Let's go to bed, yeah?” He proposed, trailing his hands around your shoulders, guiding you to the door.

“But the tea I made”

“Im tired~” 

Overall the male wouldn't want to talk further about the situation, nor would he discuss it with you. Trivial matters held no place between you both, as long as the child did not dare do it again. 

I N U I 

Inui wiped the sweat dripping from his forehead, the AC wasnt working at the motor shop. Him, draken and yourself were sweating bullets, the hot material around you not helping. You had decided to help the pair around the shop, cleaning what you could. Or helping with cashing every customer out, it would've been an easy task if it wasn't blazing hot. 

Leaving your daughter home alone, obviously thinking she’d stay and do her teenage things. You couldn't be more mistaken, astounded as you watched her fiddle around with a boy across the street at the ice cream parlor. 

“Y/N please don't tell me that Kagura..” Inui’s jaw dropped, the wrench that was once in his clasp dropping to the ground. Startling the concentrating Draken that was crouched over a motorbike. 

“What's wrong Inui? Y/N” Draken twisted his body around, raising a brow when you two just started muttering to each other like two creeps. 

“Is that... a boy” Inui held his chin between his fingers, squinting to get a better view of his kid. 

“You trying to catch flies with your mouth Inui? Close your yap” You whispered, 

“Y/N! She's too young, I feel like I just held her in my arms not too long ago. She can't get married just yet!” Inui argued, he would've been on the verge of tears if he didn't have a reputation to uphold. 

“What? The fuck are you on Inui? She's probably just with a friend!” You patted his back, reassuring the man. 

“Boys and girls can be friends ya’know” you added.

Cueing the two children across the road from you, feeding scoops of ice cream to each other.

“I don't think friends do that..” Inui looked over at you, eyes widening when you swung the motor shop’s door open. Hands coming around your mouth to amplify your words,

“Kagura, is that your boyfriend?” 

“WHAT?” Inui almost fainted, the ledge behind him holding his wobbly frame up right. 

“I didn't know you guys would be here!” Your daughter jogged across the street, leaving the boy sitting by himself. 

“And no! Just a friend” She answered your embarrassing, blushing as she stared down at the ground.,

“I sense some lies” you wiggled playfully at the flustered girl. 

“What! Anyways, Sorry I left the house without telling you” Kagura apologized, 

“Just don't do it again, without my permission..” Inui stated, 

“Especially not with a boy.”

K O K O N O I

Bribing people is his forte, and if they did not obliged? Threatening always did the trick. 

And that's exactly what he did when he saw his descendant out with a male. All was dandy until the boy came running back, babbling about how his girl was the so called ‘love of his life’.

“Hey brat, you got a death wish?” Kokonoi asked, leaning against the door frame. 

“Koko go easy on him, he’s just a kid” You nudged the man, a mischievous grin plastered on the males face. 

“And I kinda think it's cute” You said, a small smile erupting from your daughter that was not so far behind her parents. 

“I approve, kid! I like your romantic drive!” You clapped, 

“Y/N!” Kokonoi pouted, 

“You better not try to bribe him with money again” You threatened, waving a finger at the whiny man. 

“Yeah! I like him too, dad!” Your daughter agreed. 

“You're like twelve, go play chess or something” Kokonoi barked, crossing his arms in disapproval. 

“Dad, I'm sixteen!” 

“That's what I said” 

S O U Y A 

He almost had a panic attack at the sight, having to shield the man from the scene playing out. Your twin daughter saying their goodbyes to their dates, followed by a kiss. You removed your hand when the boys were no longer in view, riding off in their motorcycles. 

“Shira, Nihra” You held Souya up by the shoulder, the light headed male limping towards the worried kids.

“What's wrong with dad?” Nihra questioned, eyeing her ghostly pale father. 

“He's out of it” You giggled, 

“I'm not crazy am i?” He stood tall, letting go of the arm you had draped around him. 

“There was boys-” His voice cracked. 

“You saw that dad?” Shira sweat dropped, watching as her fathers should leave his body. 

“Next time ask before you go out” You smiled, you weren't too strict on the two. They were Souya’s children, earning most of their adorable traits from him. Even his fighting skills. 

“This better not happen again, i'm trusting you” Souya grumbled.

“Sorry pops” The two girls remorsefully sollied the man, both hooking onto one of Souya’s arms as they helped his shell into the house. 

N A H O Y A 

Nahoya was beyond pissed, infamous smile widening. Taking fast steps towards your daughter and her significant other. 

“Look boy, I don't know who you are. But my daughters not up for grabs” Nahoya grinned, cracking his fingers. 

“O-okay sir” the boy was jittering, body trembling from the males intense arua. 

“If I catch ya here again” he used his finger to slash his neck, motioning to the death that would happily greet the boy if they were to ever meet again.

“Yer dead meat kiddo”  Nahoya laughed, watching as the boy ran for his life. 

“Dad, that was really extra!” Your daughter sneered, a pout on her lips. 

“Shut up!, you're grounded rat!” Nahoya shouted. 

“Yeah Nahoya, there was no need to threaten the poor kid. He looked like he was gonna piss himself.” 

“Exactly the effect i wanted”

End Note : as I said this was a word barf T-T, so it’s quite short.

Reblogs & Notes are always appreciated! Take care! ♡︎♡︎

[pr0dbeomgyu]

BLURRY LINES

*＊✿❀LINE 2: ROOM INVASION❀✿＊*

WARNINGS : mentions of blood

leaving his room, taehyun saw y/n sitting on the kitchen counter, eating a piece of bread. making his way towards her, y/n just gave him an uninterested glance, but the glance slowly turned into a questioning one, when taehyun stood in front of her, her knees almost touching his torso.

"w-what are you doing," she stuttered.

"oh please dont flatter yourself. can you move, i need to take the glass behind you," taehyun rolled his eyes.

"pfft, cant even have my own personal space in this house," she jumped off the kitchen counter. leaving the space she shoved taehyun's shoulder with hers on the way.

"immature brat," taehyun muttered under his breath.

"i heard that," she replied.

"no shit sherlock, you're not deaf,"

that night

"YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT," taehyun caught y/n by her door, slamming it shut again before y/n could enter it. what he didnt know was how it hit her nose.

"shit! ouch! look at what you've done!" y/n exclaimed, turning around to show taehyun her bloody nose. it was not that severe, but it hurts nonetheless.

"fuck, did i do that?" taehyun asked, panic overtaking him.

"u think?" she rolled her eyes, frowning in pain.

taehyun might loathe her, but not to the extent he would hurt her! he quickly guided y/n to the couch, asking her to lay down on her back.

"i really didnt mean to do that. wait a minute, i'll take some ice and cloth,"

y/n scrolled through her twitter while waiting for taehyun, waiting for prodsputnik's tweets to show up.

'he's usually loud when he's releasing a new song though? that's weird,' her fingers kept on pulling the tweets on her feed down, refreshing her twitter feed repeatedly.

"okay, here, put it there," taehyun placed the ice pack on the bridge of her nose.

"was it that serious?" y/n asked.

"what?"

"your music, was it that serious?"

"i mean i take it very seriously, but i overreacted just now, so im sorry,"

"imsorrytoo," she slurred, not really wanting to say sorry.

"what's that?" he asked, eyes trained to hers.

"im sorry too, i guess i should've asked u to lower it down or something," she explained.

"yep, that sounds about right. looks like my job here is done, bye," he quickly got up, retreating to his room, leaving y/n a bit confused.

"dont, ever, enter my room again," he added firmly, before slamming his door shut.

"FUCK YOU" y/n screamed, frustrated. she cant believe she thought taehyun was nice, even for just one second.

MASTERLIST | NEXT

TAGS :

@gyuuss @btxtreads @terrytaehyunnies @miraculyfe @yoonkeehoe @derinxfam @snowfalltxt @taehyunsfel @letmeal0ne @cosmiclele @247byun @cerisetalks @meowtella @shrutiajit @msxflower @lomlyeonjun @lokideadontheinside @arminandjeanandannieandhange @nycol-ie @00-baejin-05 @summery-bat @txtville @wkhdery @stray-bi-kids @mintbgyu

SYNOPSIS :

if there's anything y/n's good at, it's differentiating her feelings between love or hate. it's so distinct, she really doesn't get it when people say they have mixed feelings about something, cause to her, love is LOVE and hate is, well... HATE. LOVE is like her feelings for prodsputnik, an anonymous soundcloud artist she adores which she may or may not have a stan account for. HATE is like her feelings towards her roommate, kang taehyun. she even claimed that researchers are bullshitting when they say there's a thin line between hate and love. but what if y/n figures out that prodsputnik and kang taehyun is the same person? will the line between love and hate stay thick and clear as fuck (y/n's words) to y/n or will it get blurry?

[theonekid123]

Why Don’t You Wanna Fuck Me?

Levi Ackerman X Reader

Summary: Y/N sleeps around with a lot of people but seems to steer clear of Levi, He’s unsure why so he tries to figure the mystery out.

Chapter 1

“Wake up!” that was the first thing i heard in the morning

“Fucking shit why would you do that?!” i yelled after i hit my head on the back board

“Sorry but you slept in and Hange needs your help with some experiment” Reiner told me looking tired, i mean he probably was after…..anyway

“Ok, can you hand me my clothes please '' I asked, rubbing my eyes and stretching. A stack of clothes was placed in front of me

“Can we maybe not talk about what happened last night” He asked looking concerned, I assume because he has a thing for Christa

“Have I ever fucked and told Reiner?” i asked as i put my clothes on

“No, sorry” he gave an awkward apology he stood there until i was done getting dressed

“Where’s Hange”

“With Sawney and Bean '' I don't know why I asked where else would she be. When I first joined the Corps Hange sorta recruited me as her assistant she had Moblit so im not to sure why but i nevr questioned it. If i'm being honest Hange and Moblit are my closest friends. Even if i almost die everytime i help that maniac.

“See you later Reiner '' I gave him a small wave as I went to see what Hange needed now.

“Y/N finally!” Moblit practically screamed walking towards you

“Jeez what did she do this time,,” I asked still slightly out of it from just waking up

“It's kind of complicated,” he said, dragging me to the tent where Hange usually did her research.

“Hange what the fuck did you do,” I said walking through the tent opening. That was when I realized there were other soldiers in the tent. Oh shit

“Section commander Hange, what the fuck did you do” I tried to correct myself to not seem disrespectful but the solders still looked at me like I was being disrespectful...oops

“Y/N good to see you let me run through the progress and notes from my previous experiment” Hange said exited while shuffling the stack of paper in her hands.

Four long hours later she concluded her speech. All the other soldiers exited the tent leaving just me Hange and Moblit.

“I'm not too sure Commander Erwin would want to hear you speak about your brand new discovery for 4 hours Hange,” I told her as I looked through her messy notes

“Your right Y/N...which is why I am asking you to summarize them for me,” she said

“Ok, Do you know how long this will take Hange?” it was a sincere question.If anyone could estimate it would be her.

“Dependson how much time you work on it” she said simply

“Why can't you or Moblit do it” it wasn’t that i didn't want to help my friend i just wasn't the biggest fan of paperwork

“We have an expedition in two days and we won't be back for at least a week” Moblit explained, Helping Hange pack some stuff for the expedition. 

“Alright i'll do it as long as you two don”t die or something” i said folding the papers and putting them in my pocket

“Thank you Y/N” Moblit said while Hange slid into the chair across from me

“What?'' I asked as she stared at me with a quizzical look.

“Was it good?” she asked leaning her chin on her hand 

“For fucks sake Hange, why do you want to know '' her and Moblit were the only one i talked to about my late night activities, bit only if they, Hange, initiated the conversation.

“I'm just a caring friend, and i want to know” she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

“He was ok, could probably use some more practice though” i said picking the skin surrounding my fingernails. 

“I thought he had a thing going on with that tall kid, what's his name?” Moblit joined the conversation. He hides it but we all know he loves some good gossip

“Bertholdt. He also has a thing for Christa” i know they won't go around telling everyone about this stuff so i'm not too cautious letting them know.

“Have you tried Erwin?'' Hange asked nonchalantly. I choked on my saliva

“Erwin?! The Commander?! Hange im not trying to get kicked out” maybe i was overreacting. I've slept with plenty of  higher ups but the idea of trying with the Commander scared me.

“He won't kick you out in fact he might be happy he can let loose a little” she said with a smirk on her face

“I have paperwork to do,” I said, ending the conversation while I got up and left the tent.

“Sleep with the commander, she really is crazy” i say to myself as i walk to by room

.

.

.

“Does it seem ok?” I asked Hange as I gave her the finished product of the notes. She took a minute to look though it before speaking

“It looks perfect, how long did it take you?” she asked handing it back to me

“I finished it last night, i went through a lot of drafts before i got it down” i worked on it everyday till it was perfect. I rewrote it probably 20 times.

“Can you please give it to Erwin, I have to help unpack everything,” Hange said, walking off.

Maybe i’ll take Hange’s advice after all

“Good evening Commander Erwin, here’s the paperwork from Section Commander Hange,” I said putting the paperwork on his desk

“Please tell Hange I said thank you,” he replied as he started to briefly look through the paperwork

“Aren't you going to leave Scout,” He asked still looking at the papers

“You haven’t dismissed me, it would be disrespectful if I just left” I explained, I wasn’t interested in being respectful, I was just trying to be slick. After a moment of silence, I spoke up

“If I may ask, are you frustrated Commander?” he looked up from the paper, his eyes full of curiosity, this was my chance.

“Why do you ask Scout?” he asked looking back at the paper

“I was just curious, a lot of people seem to be overly frustrated lately, and since there aren’t too many ways to relieve said stress….” I trail off hoping he understands my implication. He put the paper down and looked up with the smallest smirk

“Are you frustrated Scout?” he asked, his voice dropping a few octaves and damn was it attractive

“If I were to say no then I’d be lying Commander” Hey, at least I was being honest

“Ok, well why don’t we help each other out,,” he said pushing out of his chair and circling his desk to stand in front of me 

“If that's what you wish, commander, I will follow your orders” I was trying not to act like I was too excited. Sometimes I like to toy with men's emotions, letting them think I'm not into it even though I am. He stepped close and looked at my lips then back up to my eyes. I took the chance to initiate the first move, which would lead to many more. He was a good kisser I must admit. Unfortunately, we were interrupted when a knock was heard at his door. He pulled away heading to the door saying something about maybe letting whoever it was join. I don't know if he was joking but hey the more the merrier

“Hello, what can I do for you Captain Levi” Levi...great fucking wonderful.

“May I be dismissed, Commander Erwin?” I asked, turning and walking towards the door. He looked confused.

“Yes Scout, thank you for the paperwork,” He said as I walked passed him and Captain Levi

[fiery-lune]

You’re not wrong about you being able to draw what you want, but holy crap, your attitude on this is astounding. I don’t think it’s that hard to just say, “yes, they’re adults.”

You’re acting as if it’s such a hard thing to do and overreacting. I’m an adult, I write aged up characters, but I don’t think it’s necessary to get all worked up over someone asking if they’re aged up.

Before you go off, yes I know where the unfollow and block button are lol. I very well will be using these, but I thought I should point out that the way you react to things matter. People can be concerned about adults drawing underage kids inappropriately and also be concerned about real life things. Not sure why they can’t. People just want to stop the normalization of sexualizing underage characters, which you were NOT doing (I clearly understand this), but it’s not a crime for people to ask.

Your drawing isn’t the problem here—it’s your attitude and your responses. I know making this anon is probably hopeless, but in the hopes that maybe you’ll see where some of your followers come from, I just thought I would point out the real problem. I wish you the very best. You are extremely talented and I’ve enjoyed your art thus far, so thank you for sharing ❤️

this is the last thing im gonna answer regarding this:

I don’t think it’s that hard to just say, “yes, they’re adults.”

Of course it's not. I said "I mean i guess" because I already saw this stupid discussion coming, people twisting my words and blowing it way out of proportion. sigh

What I meant to say was that wether or not I make their respective ages clear, the drawing is gonna stay the fucking same. It's the perception of it that people have (and that I'm not responsible for) that actually makes that difference. It's subjective. I drew them thinking about aged up characters and thought it was a given, until i got that first ask.

People can be concerned about adults drawing underage kids inappropriately and also be concerned about real life things.

Indeed, but I have absolutely no bussiness having that discussion with someone who's not even supposed to be on this platform. The thing is that I've seen this kind of discourse happen so many times, I already know what kind of person is on the other side and what they think they are defending. And it's funny how they're usually more concerned with pointing an accusatory finger towards adult content creators making content for other adults than they are about real, breathing, human victims of sexualization/abuse. It's self righteous and quite fucking ridiculous, considering we're not talking about real people here. All I did was draw. I didn't hurt anybody.

well, except maybe this person who got really butthurt over it

I’m an adult, I write aged up characters, but I don’t think it’s necessary to get all worked up over someone asking if they’re aged up.

Good for you.

Unfortunately with art it's different. Writing gives you the opportunity to clarify and define so many things that an image simply can't, cause it's debatable any way you look at it.

What you do takes a lot more time and investment from the people who consume your content, when it comes to me, people stare at it for maybe less than a minute, and if they do get invested they assume or project their own thoughts onto my art. Sometimes they're good and nice but some other times they take it as an invitation to either tell me what to do, how to do it, or question my artistic choices in general, not even giving me a chance to express what I was going for and assuming I'm a bad person.

I'm having none of that shit anymore, that's why I "get worked up" about a fucking stranger being rude. And I have every right to.

Your drawing isn’t the problem here—it’s your attitude and your responses.

Like I said before, the first ask came off as rude and condescending as fuck, as if demanding an explanation for something they think I did. They then proceeded to send me even more asks, taking for granted that I was sexualizing teenagers and saying it over and over again, and accusing me of making these kind of content with the intent of adults getting off to it??? when I did that drawing thinking about them just holding each other after sex. Just that. They're not even fucking, they're just naked, after sex. Wow what a scandalous thing.

I think that as a content creator you should understand as well as I do that we do not owe anybody our kindness, our time, or even an explanation (especially if they're not even willing to get off anon, like you). However you look at it, they were out of line. And i'm sure as fuck not gonna apologize for reacting the way i did. This whole conversation is stupid as hell.

I'm glad you enjoyed my art but I'm also glad you're unfollowing/blocking me. Have a nice life!

[chat-noir-always-here]

Debunking “Adrien is perfect”

  To voice a rather non-Marinette-like opinion of Adrien: He’s not perfect. He’s never been perfect. He has, in fact, been riddled with flaws from the very beginning. Part of the reason Chat Noir gets hate is because he serves to exaggerate Adrien’s flaws and make them more obvious, destroying the perfectionism façade. And the sooner Marinette tosses the “I love the perfect Adrien” filter in the trash where it belongs, and starts actively recognizing and acknowledging his faults, the better off the endgame relationship will be.

 Long post is long and I don’t like cuts, cuz i’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” I use it for walls of texts like these. 

First of all, flaws are just one of the many things that happen when someone either learns something the wrong way, spends too much time in the wrong environment, lack any decent role models... really there are a plethora of causes. What i mean is character shortcomings aren’t necessarily reasons to hate the character themselves. They’re more or less internal obstacles put there to be overcome in order to portray character growth. Of course spending an exaggerated amount of time with these characters without seeing them overcome particular shortcomings is frustrating it does not necessarily mean they will never be redeemed or developed and are/were deserving of hate.

 Except for Gabriel. That creature belongs behind bars.

 Most of Adrien’s flaws come from his toxic home situation:

The Miraculous Wiki puts Adrien at fifteen. Meaning Adrien has only been actively leaving the house (for public school and the occasional social get-together) for about a year. His fourteenth birthday was one of the earliest episodes and im assuming his fifteenth birthday happened off screen between the s3 finale and the new york special.

Regardless the majority of his life was spent in isolation and his only company was his immediate family, Nathalie, Felix and Chloe. None of whom are particularly good role models except for Emilie. Maybe.

He’s rather overworked for a 14 y.o. boy. On top of school, he has fencing, piano and Chinese lessons. This leaves him with very little time for himself. 

He lost his mother. In Feast, Adrien expresses Emilie was a source of joy in his life--”Only Mom can make me laugh like that.” Felix marked the one year anniversary of her disappearance.  Worse still, we’re led to assume all Adrien knows is that Emilie disappeared. Did she abandon him? Was she kidnapped and killed? He doesn’t know. He has no closure regarding her absence. 

On top of losing his mother, his only remaining parent is an emotionally manipulative and abusive prick. Gabriel has denied Adrien a birthday party, threatened to take Adrien out of school just because he can, never lets him have friends over for any reason, hardly ever makes time for Adrien and only once in a blue moon will actually sit and eat a meal with the poor kid.

And on top of all of this he’s not out of the woods yet. He’s still living with his abusive father. He’s still not allowed to see his friends outside of school much. He’s still got a packed schedule. He still doesn’t have closure regarding his mother’s “disappearance.”

Looking at it like this paints Adrien in a rather sympathetic light.

 Marinette doesn’t know Gabriel is Hawk Moth either, but she does understand Adrien is lonely, isolated and in need of a source of love and comfort. She also understands to some degree that his heart is delicate, so she constantly handles him with kid gloves and looks on him with a perfection filter. 

We see how Mari reacts to upsetting Adrien in Malediktator when she softly whispers an apology after Adrien expresses his sorrow over everyone celebrating Chloe’s departure. She’s seems pained and distraught over causing him to be upset. Thus the reason Marinette calls Adrien perfect isn’t that she never sees any of his flaws--she just cannot acknowledge or process them under these conditions. Shes too busy trying not to hurt him. She also has shown some signs of having extreme anxiety, which messes with ones head and makes it difficult--nearly impossible--to think straight. She wants to be the source of love and comfort he desires (and already is in a way) so his faults go unprocessed.

But what are Adrien’s flaws?

1. He has trouble standing up for himself. 

He’ll take a stand for others.

 He stood up to Chloe on Mylene’s behalf in Horrificator and on Marinette/ Cheng Sifu’s behalf in Kung Food. He stood up to Lila in Oni-chan and Ladybug. He stood up to Gabriel in Simon Says--but as Chat Noir, not Adrien. 

There have only been two-ish instances of Adrien, not Chat Noir, standing up for himself. I say -ish only because he was kinda standing up for Lila in the first and Chloe in the second. 

First in Volpina he stood up to Ladybug for how she handled the situation with Lila. He personally believed she handled the situation poorly (which she did--there were/are serious consequences for that. still) and although he was kinda wishy-washy in conveying that it was only because he was scared of sounding too much like Chat Noir. Her partner. Her chief-of-staff. Who can and will call her out on such behavior. 

Second in Malediktator, when he more or less told Marinette she was wrong to be happy about Chloe leaving. Granted this was partly him standing up for Chloe, but aside from her—he, Adrien, was deeply upset chloe was leaving on such bad terms and made sure Marinette understood that. 

Abused children tend to be somewhat submissive/agreeable/etc. They have trouble speaking out when they’re uncomfortable or don’t want something or think a particular action is wrong. Usually because they are anticipating some kind of punishment for speaking out or afraid of offending the other person to the point that said person wants nothing to do with them anymore, or both.

 For Adrien to fix this particular flaw, he needs to prioritize himself and his own wants more. However he also needs someone who doesn’t chastise him for doing things he likes, tending to his own needs and setting boundaries. Kagami is not that person--she’s actually quite demanding of him and cold. Her understanding of relationships isnt great either, which is why these two really aren’t that great for each other. 

2. He puts his faith in the wrong people

  Adrien’s fucking household is about as toxic as it can get (please don’t take this as a challenge, S4). On top of his immediate family consisting of his abusive, toxic, terrorist father, there’s his cousin Felix. Felix who squished cheese under Adrien’s pillow, stole his phone, pretended to be him and sent an outrageous and awful video to his friends. 

 There’s also his mother Emilie whom, despite his love and adoration of her, lied to him for who knows how long and messed around with a broken miraculous to the point it forced her into an indefinite coma and left Adrien at his father’s mercy. There are theories that she did this for her family but nothing concrete or canon has been proven--all we know is that Emilie had been having frequent dizzy spells while she was still awake and using the peacock miraculous, and that she anticipated her fate and Gabriel apparently promised to save her.

There’s Lila, as well. “She’s not dangerous. She just craves attention.” Wrong, Adrien, she’s very dangerous. She is conspiring with your father to spy on you, attempted to get Marinette expelled from school, tricked you into leaving Ladybug alone with a supervillain whom she personally requested to kill Ladybug, pinned Marinette against a bathroom wall and almost got her akumatized, actually got Marinette akumatized and nearly cost you both the Ladybug Miraculous and TIkki. She isn’t just dangerous she is an actual threat, whether or not she is the future Hawk Moth who sent Timetagger after you when you were children with time-sensitive powers. Adrien has a slightly better understanding of that after the events of Ladybug and Oni-chan, so hopefully he will be on his guard at least in regards to Lila.

 The reason for Adrien’s overly trusting nature may lie in the fact that literally everyone closest to him, everyone for the first thirteen years or so, was toxic and/or a liar. You know what happens when you can’t trust anyone around you? You live with it. You accept all these bad people as they are, without making any effort to establish healthy boundaries. Adrien certainly lived with it--how’s an abused, isolated boxed-and-sheltered son supposed to know what healthy boundaries are when he’s lacking any healthy connections? I bet he can just barely endure all the anguish but he can’t stand to be alone so he just tolerates it. Not to mention the most guilty is his father. Where else is he supposed to go?

Like a frog sitting in a pot of water, you don’t realize you’re in trouble until the water is too hot. So you just accept it--all the bad feelings--you accept it, live with it and it still hurts but you rarely complain. Because anything is better than being alone. 

I think Adrien understands, deep down, that the love he is clinging to, the love provided by his relatives, isn’t really there. But if he looks at it too long and lets this knowledge sink in he’ll lose it. He really did lose it in Chat Blanc-- just that sky-crashing-down-on-him realization that he didn’t have his fathers love, hadn’t had it for a long time, just completely ruined our boy. 

 Of course the knowledge is there. It’s literally right there in front of his face and it’s only a matter of time before he is forced to turn and look and face the music. At which point I hope Marinette knows who he is and has a plan to save him otherwise Chat Blanc is just going to happen again. 

3. Yes, he takes the flirting too far sometimes

No--that doesn’t make him toxic.

Yes, Adrien overreacted to Ladybug never showing up in Glaciator. He shouldn’t have been upset with her in Frozen for not accepting the rose. He should have told her the damn truth about being forced to leave the city at the same time she was in the New York special. 

 However, he also apologized for overreacting in both Glaciator and Frozen. And again, abused kids live in anticipation of punishment for their mistakes. Adrien’s father has taught him that the slightest mistake can result in loss of freedom or trust, even if its circumstances beyond his control. And he now understands that Ladybug isn’t going to blindly punish him for being honest with her, which he now knows to do. 

 He makes mistakes, apologizes for them, and learns from them. That’s not fucking toxic--it’s natural, human and allowed. 

 He’s flirty and suggestive, yes, but the minute she signals she doesn’t want it or isn’t feeling it he stops. He has had immense trouble with not flirting with her, despite her telling him she isn’t interested multiple times. That much is true. But he truly and deeply cares for her and he would never force himself on her and it isn’t because he knows she’ll kick his ass if he does. It’s because unlike the vast majority of his family, he’s actually a decent human being. 

 He has even begun to “flirt platonically,” toasting their partnership and friendship rather than offering a romantic relationship she can never say yes to. If that isn’t the most soft and respectful fluff I don’t know what is.

 4. He is leading Kagami on

Did he cheat? I’m actually not sure. Thomas is being vague in his tweets and won’t give us a decent answer (because he likes “watching fandom burn”--i mean MOOD but clarify please). 

 Here’s what we know and have observed: 1. Chat Noir told Ladybug “I have a girlfriend” 2. He immediately followed that up with “It’s not good at all. I just said that to make you jealous”  3. He allowed Kagami to kiss him in the new york special 4. but he has trouble telling girls not to touch him--been a problem since episode one. Yes its generally cheek kisses chloe gives him but sometimes its not and he looked downright uncomfortable in a lot of cases of physical contact with her and with Lila 5. he seemed rather comfortable with kagami kissing him--except he did say no to her kissing him in the finale 6. but he’s also trying to move on from Ladybug and be with Kagami  7. If he were in a relationship with Kagami, he’d likely keep it a secret because both of their parents are controlling of them and may not allow it 8. His understanding of relationships and girls is kinda dreadful due to not having his mom around for advice and his father’s general lack of a concept of what healthy romantic relationships and boundaries are, and, as Nino put it, not being able to understand signals very well

Adrien’s current relationship status is up in the air. I’m about eighty percent certain he’s dating Kagami--but there’s still that twenty percent chance he’s not.

 Putting aside the question of whether or not he and Kagami are official, Adrien’s been attempting to move past his feelings for Ladybug. Which--won’t sugarcoat it--he kinda sucks at. At the same time, Kagami is aware he is in love with another but lacks the understanding that his moving on will take time. 

 The main issues here is that Adrien knows who he wants but can’t have her. Kagami is a wonderful person herself and he wants to get to know her better, but they aren’t really a good match and they are both going to get hurt in the end (Love Victor anyone???). Until that happens we are going to have some questionable moments in the show, and we just need to remember that Adrien is a child with a poor understanding of relationships, and not an evil person. Kagami doesn’t necessarily have a great understanding of them either--”Your indecision hurts me Adrien,” “Adrien you and I are perfect for each other!”--and she has flaws of her own she needs to unlearn. 

 For the time being, Adrien is leading Kagami on (it needs to be said--even if they aren’t dating he’s flirted with her, given her roses etc.) I say leading her on because, no matter how much Adrien believes Marinette is just a friend and they weren’t flirting in New York, loyal boyfriends who wish to be monogamous don’t dance with other women.

 Or look this happy when that other woman touches them

Does this make Adrien a deceitful and hateful character? No. Does this make him an unworthy character? No. It makes him an abused child with little to no concept of healthy relationships. 

Also Adrien’s friends, including Marinette, have no reason to believe he is dating Kagami. They know he is interested in her and she in him, but as Nino said, Adrien has a hard time picking up signals and understanding their meaning. Not to mention the boy is fifteen. Flirting skills, understanding boundaries, and other relationship concepts are a challenge even for ordinary fifteen year olds in healthy environments to grasp--case in point: Marinette.

Adrigami and Lukanette are simply not going to end well. The Love Square is the endgame and ultimately both Lukanette and Adrigami are going to fall apart to make that happen--I knew that going into the possible Adrigami and Lukanette  territory that the finale created.

 Kagami is a strong, intelligent person--she’s likely going to be the one to end it given what we’ve seen. I don’t like to think about what might happen then--she may be akumatized and Chat Noir would feel rather guilty and may not be able to fight her. But they will both come out of it with something they needed--Kagami will understand (as Marinette needs to) that Adrien isn’t her perfect soul mate incapable of making mistakes. Adrien will understand relationships better. 

 Its unfortunate that this has to happen in order for Adrien to learn due lessons, given that he actually does have someone who can talk to him about girls and relationships and loyalty: Nino.

 Given what Nino wasted no time in scolding Mari for spying on Adrien and Lila when she confessed doing so in Chameleon, as well as how he treats Alya, I undoubtedly believe Nino would be the one to come out and say “You can’t dance with Marinette when you’re with Kagami.” 

 Assuming he is with Kagami. 

In conclusion: Adrien is flawed but not deserving of hate. He is a traumatuzed child stuck in a toxic household who lacks proper mentors. Marinette, Alya and Nino are out of the loop about his potential relationship with Kagami. And Marinette and Kagami both need to acknowledge Adrien is imperfect. Nino and Adrien need to do guy talk like two seasons ago. 

Also Marinette probably has some intense anxiety issues. But more on that later.

[sup-hoes-its-me]

A Hero III (Shinsou x Reader)

A/N: okay, so this is definitely the last part. I had so much fun writing this tbh, i really hope you guys enjoy it. I love love love writing jealousy. This chapter is all fluff, so sweet it’ll give you cavities. God, the thought of seeing shinsou smile and be happy, wow. im in love with him. Have fun reading and comment if you want more shinsou in the future

word count: 5200

Part One/Part Two/Part Three

“Shinsou, what do you think of this?” she held up a dress on the hanger. The price wasn’t nearly as bad as the other things in here, and it wasn’t in an ugly color. It was purple, of course. She loved purple ever since she met her friend. Her notebooks were purple and so was her new bedspread. It was nice to curl up in a cave of violet each night, almost like a night-long hug from him. 

Gosh, she felt herself becoming flustered just thinking about it. You’re friends, Y/N. just because someone is nice to you does not mean they want to go out with you, seriously. She kept telling herself over and over in her head to focus on the task at hand.

They were shopping, specifically for her uncle’s wedding. She had literally nothing that looked mildly appropriate, her closet just stuff to the brim with uniforms and jeans and sweaters, nothing fancy. Two days before the actual ceremony, her mother woke her up early on a Sunday. “Go out and get yourself something nice to wear. I seriously cannot believe both of my children dress like complete slobs everyday.” Y/N heard her hothead mother say in her head once more. Did she really dress like a slob? She didn’t think so. Her clothes weren’t in fashion but also weren’t ugly. 

Shinsou peered up from his phone where he sat on the bench. He didn’t necessarily plan on going out to the mall that day, he was actually going to sleep for most of it. He was quite surprised when he woke up at 10a.m. to his phone ringing and vibrating on the bedside table. Without putting in much thought, he suddenly found himself dressed and walking down the road to her house. 

“It looks fine.”

“Just fine? If it’s ugly, you have to tell me because mom will make me return it and get something else,” she complained.

“In that case, probably not. It’s kinda plain, don’t you think?” he commented. He stood from the bench. “Although, I do appreciate you only looking at purple dresses, let’s try something else.” He hummed to himself, as he walked past her. He didn’t really have an eye for women’s clothes, not at all. He just looked at them and tried to imagine Y/N wearing it. How the colors would look against her skin, and how it would flatter her shape. He tried not to think about her body too much, it would fluster him  and he wouldn’t be able to look her in the eyes, he was sure of it.

“Let’s try red.”

“Red? Like blood?” she asked. He turned to look at her with a raised brow before he remembered she spent her days surrounded by her own blood, as that’s what he quirk entailed. Of course she would associate the color with it. Scrap that idea.

“Okay then, let’s try blue.” She nodded, agreeing with him. She never wore too much color, but that one wasn’t too bad. “Your budget is what? 100 dollars, right?” he asked as his eyes skimmed the racks in the area. Now that he looked at it, dresses really didn’t look that great when they just hung there. 

She stepped up to walk at his side. “Yes. Do you see anything you like?”

“Not really. I have to see them on you to know if they’re good or not,” he told her. His eyes trailed down to a modest blue dress, okay for a party with family members. “Try this one. And then,” he scanned the room once more before walking over and grabbing another one. “Try this one. I’ll wait outside until you’re done.”

She took the dresses from his hands and pressed them to her chest. She would have never picked either of these dresses as they weren’t her style. She was self conscious in the first place, so she tended to avoid wearing anything that would draw attention to her. Just the thought of walking around in a nice dress, eyes turning to stare, it made her feel anxious. 

Still, she was only with Shinsou. She didn’t have to worry about him seeing her. He wouldn’t judge or stare if she asked him not to. That’s the whole reason she brought him, because she wanted company and she trusted his opinion. If she looked bad, she was sure he would tell her to keep her from embarrassment. 

In the dressing room, she slipped out of her casual clothes and threw the dress over her head, letting it fall down to rest against her body. The fabric was soft against her skin, and she felt herself running her fingers along the fabric, sighing at how delicate the material was. There wasn’t a design really, it was a pretty plain dress, but it fit perfectly. Usually clothes on fit right in one place and wrong in another, but this one wasn’t like that. She would have to see what it looked like with the zipper up.

“Hitoshi, can you come in?”

“What?”

“I need your help. My arms aren’t long enough to pull up the zipper,” she called to him again. Hesitantly, he stood from the little viewing bench and knocked on the door, which she had locked from the inside. She unlatched the little hook and cracked it open enough for him to slip in. 

Admittedly, he felt weird, being in the dressing room with her; it felt so foreign to him. He kept his eyes trailed on the wall, not daring to look at her incase she was at all indecent. If Shinsou Hitoshi knew how to do anything, it was respecting women. “So what did you need?”

“Just do the zipper the rest of the way. I only got it halfway up,” she told him, and he looked down at her. She stood facing away from him, and indeed half the zipper was open. Carefully, with as much finesse as he could muster, he pulled up the zipper without touching much of her bare skin. He did rest a hand on her shoulder though to hold the dress in place.

You’re just friends. This shouldn’t even be a problem for you, he thought. But it was a problem. He felt flustered and a bit bothered, if he were being completely honest. He was so distracted he didn’t even hear what she was saying until she shook his arm. 

“Yeah?”

“I said, how does this one look? It’s super comfortable, I have to say that.” First, she smoothed down the skirt and then she raised her arms slightly to her sides so he could see the whole thing. 

He almost choked. She looked amazing. He loved seeing her in whatever clothes she wanted to wear. Uniform, big sweaters, jeans, pyjamas, it didn’t matter, she looked equally amazing in everything. It’s just something about seeing someone you care about so much in fancy clothes that leaves you shocked and mouth agape. 

Subtly, he cleared his throat, and looked away from her. “Well, that’s settled. You’re gonna leave with that one.”

Y/N turned a bit in the mirror, checking herself and the dress out. It did look awfully nice on her, but she just couldn’t see herself wearing something so nice. She would probably think that about any dress she put on, and since Shinsou said he liked this one, it must be good. “Are you sure?”

He looked at her again, standing beside her so he could see her in the mirror as well. He ran a hand through his hair, and nodded. “Definitely. I don’t think you’ll find anything better than that one.”

“Really? What about this exact dress but in purple?” she laughed. 

“Okay, maybe.”

He turned to leave, so she could get dressed but she stopped him. “Wait, you gotta unzip it too.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

He walked up to stand behind her, his hands shaking only a little. He was surprised he wasn’t about to pass out. He rest one hand on her shoulder once again and the other pulled down the zipper slowly. It probably would have made it a lot easier on him if he just did it swiftly and then evaded the room immediately. Once it was down though, he was extremely quick to leave the room, undoing the latch, and sliding out of the room. 

“Are you okay, Hitoshi?” the girl asked, and from outside the room, he could hear her slipping the dress off and the cloth hitting the floor. 

Jesus Christ.

After a minute, the door unlatched and she walked out, carrying both the dresses on her arm. “Just have to put this one back and then we can get out of here,” she said, walking through the racks to hang up the second dress which she never even got the chance to try on. He was glad for that, as he didn’t have to go through that process again. He almost felt out of breath.

Why was he so immature? They weren’t little kids. She was his friend, and helping her put on her dress wasn’t anything to get worked up over. She was acting like everything was fine and nothing intimate just happened at all. It left him feeling almost ashamed with himself for overreacting. Clearly, she thought it was a normal thing.

As she bought her stuff at the counter, he shuffled awkwardly to the side. “Y/N, you wanna get something to eat after this?” Food would make him feel better. Carbs can do magic in almost all situations.

“Yes. Did you have anything in mind?”

“No, I thought I’d let you pick.” For a moment, she paused to exchange money with the lady at the counter. She hung the bag with her dress inside on her arm and turned to walk out of the store with her friend, who had his hands now shoved deep in his jacket pockets.

“Fried chicken,” she asked hopefully, looking up to him. 

“Sure. You find us a table while I go and get the food,” he told her, and she could only nod in agreement. It was fucking hard to find a table in these crowded malls. Slowly, her eyes scanned the room and the dozens of people gathered around the tables eating their meals of choice. Finally, out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted a table with only one chair and some trash sitting on it, but that was as good as they were gonna get. She walked over and picked up the leftover tray and tossed it in the trash a couple feet away. 

“Excuse me, can I borrow one of these chairs?” she asked the table beside them with a couple extra chairs around, and they nodded, but their subtle glares told her she was bothering them. She cringed, but still dragged the chair over and took a seat. Her eyes wandered back over to Shinsou, who was waiting in line, but surprisingly, there was a girl standing right beside him. She was way too far away to hear what they were speaking about, but the girl seemed to be talking up a storm. 

Maybe he knew her.

Damn, she sure is pretty, Y/N thought. Why did Shinsou know such a beautiful lady? He could talk to whoever he wanted, it wasn’t her place to say anything, she was just curious. Really, really, curious. So, she buried her nose in her phone to avoid those thoughts. Shinsou was free to talk to whoever he wanted. 

It was fine, whatever. 

Really. 

Y/N couldn’t care less. 

...

Okay, so (not) secretly, she cared a fuck ton.

After a while, she heard the chair across from her scratch against the floor and a tray be placed in the middle of the table. “Y/N, what are you looking at so angrily over there?” he asked, and she looked up from her phone, bewildered. Was she glaring at her own phone, where she was just looking at memes?

“Oh, uh, nothing. Thanks for the food. I could have paid my share.”

He raised a brow, clearly confused. She never turned down free food. Not once. Who does that? “Why? I offered anyway.”

“I know, but like...Well, I don’t know. I guess you’re right.” She took a bite of her food, but it didn’t taste very good. Instead, it just tasted bitter, like how she was feeling. 

“Seriously, what’s up with you?”

“It’s nothing,” Y/N said calmly, adding, “I’m just curious who that girl was you were talking to.”

He thought for a moment before remembering. He’d completely forgotten that some lady tried talking to him. She was so insignificant that he just pushed it from his mind. He had better things to think about. He replied casually, “Oh, her? I don’t even know. She just came up to me and started talking to me.”

“About what?” 

He shrugged. He didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t even think Y/N noticed her come up to him, nor did he think she would care. “Well, quite frankly, she was flirting with me, I think. She asked for my phone number and stuff…” Really, he didn’t think it was that big of a deal. 

She felt her skin turn hot with anger, and even some embarrassment. Anyone could flirt with him, it didn’t matter to her how many girls he had on his phone. It wasn’t even her business. He could have a girlfriend and she couldn’t do shit about it. He was her friend, and she had to support him. 

Only, that was easier said than done.

“Did you give her your number?”

“No, actually I told her to fuck off and leave me alone,” he answered, very bluntly at that. “Are you okay? You sound like you’re mad with me now.”

She shook her head, frustrated that she let her emotions show through so much. She was never good at that kind of thing, but she wished she could have avoided this entire conversation all together. “I’m fine. It doesn’t even matter, let's just eat.”

“Are you...Shit, are you jealous?” he asked. His lips turned up in a grin, seeing her face morph into one of a person who has been caught red handed. Deer in the headlights sort of expression. He found it funny. He didn’t really care if she was jealous, of what exactly, he didn’t know. He just thought it was so incredibly hilarious that she was.

“N-No!”

“You definitely are.”

“And so what if I am?” she huffed, shoving a couple french fries into her mouth angrily. 

“Nothing really. I’m just surprised,” he teased, “Are you not getting enough attention, Y/N?”

“Shinsou, shut up! Now you’re just making fun of me!” she cried, covering her face with her hands. 

He smiled, watching as he squirmed in her seat. She was so cute. He was having fun, just sitting here in this food court was actually a ton of fun for him, and for him any kind of fun was pretty rare. She kept putting french fries in her mouth to hide how she was pouting and how she couldn’t even look him in the eye. He noticed, and it only made his smile last longer. 

Dammit, he loved her.

________________________________

Y/N sat at her desk, packing up her books and pens into her book bag. Class was over for the day, which meant she would go to the dorms and do her homework. A few days out of the week, Shinsou would go to train with his mentor, and today just happened to be that day. 

“So, you have training today with Aizawa-sensei?” she asked.

He shook his head as he leant against her desk, waiting for her to be done. “Not today, he’s out sick.”

“Oh, good. You can help me with my homework then.” She stood up from her desk and slung her bag over her shoulder. “You’re so smart, I’m jealous. I wish it was that easy for me.”

“You’re smart, just in a different way, Y/N.”

“Oh, yeah? What way? I’m stupid at everything.”

“You’re really good at picking friends.”

She laughed, pushing on his shoulder. Of course he would say that. He was never confident, in fact, he kinda hated himself. Most high schoolers do. But it was easy to crack jokes like that, and she always enjoyed them. It made him feel better about himself at the same time. To affirm time and time again that he was a good friend, good for her at least. Other friends he’d had before just ditched him because they didn’t like him. 

Just as she walked out the door into the hall, the purple haired boy following closely behind, another student from their class approached them, his hand tucked behind his back. She didn’t really know him all that much. His quirk was very insignificant, and he didn’t have much of a personality either. 

Truly though, when she was in class, she didn’t see anyone but the professor and Shinsou. It was pretty simple.

“Bakugo-chan, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Um, sure, Tanaka. Is there something you needed?”

His eyes slid over to the tall, brooding figure behind her, who just stared off into space pretty mindlessly. She noticed the boy looking, but didn’t think much of it. Shinsou was fine there.

“Go ahead,” she said, and he snapped out of his daze.

“You see, I’ve been watching you since the beginning of the school year. I think you are the most beautiful and kind person I’ve ever met,” he confessed, his words nearly slurring together as he spoke so fast. She blinked, not expecting a confession from the boy, or anyone for that matter. She swore they had only spoken maybe two times, maximum. Why would he like her?

Shinsou looked over now from the corner of his eye. He didn’t want to make the kid uncomfortable. He wasn’t a bad guy, just another student trying to become the best they could be. Yet, he really, really hated hearing someone else talk that way about her. He was almost sure only he thought those things about Y/N; how beautiful she was, kind, strong, smart, and perfect. Now it seemed other people did as well? The thought of other people...fantasizing about his sweet friend made him feel sick to his stomach.

Then, much to her displeasure, the boy pulled out a small bouquet of flowers that were obviously picked from outside in the courtyard as they were mostly a mix of weeds and leaves. He shoved them in her direction, urging her to take them. Reluctantly, the plants found their way into her hands. “I really hope you like the flowers. I tried to pick the colors that would compliment your eyes.”

Wow, okay. 

“Thank you, Tanaka-kun. They sure are pretty,” she said. Desperately, she wanted to just run away and pretend this encounter never happened. She never thought this would happen to her of all people. A loser like her. 

“If you aren’t dating anyone else, I would like to take you on a date this weekend. We can go anywhere you want,” he asked hopefully, his eyes full of anticipation and yearning. “Please, you won’t regret it. I’ll make you so happy, Bakugo-chan. Please.”

Oh, God, he was begging. 

“I’m sorry, but you should take these flowers back and give them to some other girl,” Y/N said as gently as she could, taking the boy’s hand to place the flowers into his palm. Immediately, the boy’s face crumbled, and his cheeks turned a bright shade of red. She felt so terrible for embarrassing him this way. “I’m really not the girl for you. My heart belongs to someone else, so I could never feel the same way for you.”

“I see,” he sighed. The boy’s eyes slid up to enviously glare at Shinsou, who looked right back with a vengeance. Everyone knew who Y/N really wanted. Maybe just maybe, the pair were only friends like they claimed. Tanaka was praying the entire day that she would accept his offer and leave Shinsou behind. “You’re a good girl, aren’t you? I just can’t understand why you’d fall in love with a villain like him.”

Shinsou felt his heart fall to the bottom of his stomach at those words. He closed his eyes and tried not to think much about it, but memories of those bullies in middle school just came back into his mind in full color. He felt that sense of dread hang over his head. 

“Excuse me?”

“He’s a monster! All he does is manipulate people to do what he wants. The only reason you love him is because he brainwashed you!”

Shinsou rarely felt like he might cry, but this was one of those moments. It was one thing for people to call him a monster in front of strangers, but he felt worse knowing that he was saying this to Y/N. She somehow avoided hearing all those insults and accusations until now, and suddenly he felt like his head was benign held under water, completely hopeless and weak. Y/N wouldn’t just betray him like that, trust this guys word over his own, he knew that for sure. He just felt so overwhelmed with shame. It made him feel terrible that people actually believed the only reason she was friends with him was because he brainwashed her. Couldn’t he have nice things as well?

He never wanted her to see this side of him, the side people perceived him as. He wanted to run away to his dorm and never leave the room again. What was the point now that he knew people thought of him like that still. 

Y/N, much to everyone’s surprise, raised her hand and slapped their fellow student right across the face. “Fuck you!”

“Y/N-”

“Shut up, Shinsou.”

The boy who was slapped put his hand on his cheek and stared up at her in shock. She was so gentle and sweet most of the time. How could she slap him like that, enough to leave a mark? His precious and sweet crush. 

“You call this boy a monster again, and I will beat your ass, do you hear me?” she commanded, and when he didn’t reply, she shoved on his shoulder. He stumbled back, nearly falling into the wall on the other side of the hall. “I said, did you hear me?”

“Y-yes.”

“Shinsou Hitoshi is more of a man than you will ever be. Men don’t stoop to insulting others insecurities just because a pretty girl rejected him. Boo hoo, get a grip. You will never be half the hero Shinsou is,” she told him bitterly, glaring through narrowed eyes. Maybe she was being a bit harsh, she didn’t care. If it was one thing she learned from Katsuki, it was how to defend the people you love (even if it’s unnecessarily mean). Perhaps, she learned a bit too much from the blond...

She stepped back, letting her arms fall to her sides. “If I ever hear my name or Shinsou’s come out of your mouth again, I will not hesitate.”

He nodded, grabbing his bag off the floor and turning to run down the hall in the other direction. She brushed a few loose strands of hair from her eyes and sighed, letting her shoulders finally sink into a relaxed state again. It had been a long time since she felt such pure rage burn in her heart. Normally, there was rarely a time someone bothered her enough to make her angry. It just wasn’t who she was. 

Hearing those words about Shinsou sent her over the edge. No one would talk about him that way. Nobody, and she would make sure of it.

“Let’s go.” Her footsteps were practically stomps as she walked down the hall, her friend following close behind. “I can’t believe someone would have the nerve to say something like that to me about you? Like, who does he think he is?” Y/N grumbled, clenching and unclenching her fists by her side. 

“Really, Y/N, you didn’t have to do that. I used to hear that stuff all the time.”

“Exactly! No one deserves to be treated like that, and you’ve already experienced far more than anyone should,” she told him. “He really tried to ask me out and then right after tried to talk shit about you. What an ass. Some boys just can’t take rejection, can they?.”

He only watched as she kept walking, but he didn’t feel like saying much. She was in too bad of a mood to reason with. He never imagined her acting like that. Even when they were training, she never got angry or even frustrated. She was so calm and gentle. For a moment there, she sounded exactly like her brother. It scared him, to be honest. 

He appreciated her defending him though. It was the most anyone had done to stand up for him.

Worrying about her and his quirk completely washed away the fact that she admitted to loving him. It seemed that would be the topic of discussion another day.

________________________________

“Come on, come on. It’s almost starting!” Y/N rushed up the stairs, tugging Shinsou by the hand up . He was tired. He didn’t really have the time or energy to watch this firework show she was so excited to see. Still, he did it for her since she’d been waiting for weeks for it. 

No U.A. students were allowed to dress up in their formal wear and go to the shrines like everyone else on New Years, since big crowds could pose a danger to the students' safety. Instead, groups of students from different classes gathered up some snacks on the roofs of their own family houses to watch the fireworks at the shrine a mile or so away. She had a bag full of her favorite drink, fruit milk, on her arm, eager to binge and drink it all. She would probably make herself sick, but it's like that sometimes.. 

“Five minutes until midnight,” she muttered. She pushed open the attic window and slid through onto the roof, and was met with emptiness. Only a few small groups of friends were spaced out pretty far and few in between on their class building. She walked over to the side in the direction of the shrine, and sat down on the bench. Her milk plopped down onto the spot beside her.

Shinsou silently took a seat beside her. He checked his phone. Only a couple more minutes. He couldn’t understand for the life of him why she was so excited just for time to pass and some colored lights to go off in the distance. The noise was so loud though, he realized he wouldn’t have gotten much sleep that night anyway.

Happily, she popped the cap off a banana milk and took a long sip. He took one from the bag as well, strawberry, and popped the cap. “Why are you so excited for this anyway, Y/N?”

“I-I don’t know. I just wanted to spend the holiday with you, and since we aren’t allowed back home for the holiday due to all those villain threats, I thought it would be a fun thing for the two of us to do together,” she told him. Honestly, she was just happy to spend more time with him. It felt so good, the cold air on her skin and the crickets chirping from the ground below. People around talked and laughed amongst their own groups. 

It was the perfect moment.

Shinsou knew about this tradition some people had on New Years. He was sure it was probably an American thing since All Might and Midoriya were talking about it. Apparently, you are supposed to kiss someone when the clock strikes midnight, and it grants you good luck for the rest of the year. 

He wouldn’t even attempt it. That was a complete invasion of her space. He just wanted her to enjoy the fireworks and her milk without any drama. Things had gotten a bit weird between them over the time they’d known each other. They were close, almost too close to be friendly. Other people clearly noticed; Bakugo, Aizawa, that boy from their class. Neither of them knew what to do about those feelings, so they just pretended they weren’t there, he supposed. It was easier that way.

That didn’t mean he didn’t want to kiss her. He definitely did 100 percent want that kiss. He just couldn’t take the risk. What if everyone was wrong this whole time? What if she only thought of him as a very close friend this whole time and he got the wrong idea. He didn’t know enough girls to know how they acted with their guy friends. 

He knew he was hopelessly in love. It used to scare him, the thought of being so attached to someone like that. Now, he just felt happy to have someone to hold in his heart. It didn’t matter much if she ever accepted his love. As long as he could hold her and see her smile, that was enough.

Soon enough, dozens of rainbow colored fireworks lit up the sky. The sound was dulled by the distance between them and the shrine, but it was still loud enough to dull Shinsou’s thoughts. He leaned back on the roof on one hand and the other lifted the strawberry milk to his lips, taking a sip. 

Another year flew by faster than he thought.  It was no doubt the best year of his life so far.

He didn’t even notice her begin to speak until she said his name. 

“Shinsou,” she exhaled. “I really wouldn’t mind spending every year with you.”

He looked over to her. Her face was illuminated in bright pinks and blues, and she had that ever present smile on her lips. How could one person look like that? All he ever wanted and more, the girl of his dreams? 

“I think I’d like that, too.”

“Would you really?” 

“If I got to spend every single day with you for the rest of my life, it still wouldn’t be enough for me.”

She took a deep breath, tilting her head back to stare up at the deep blue night sky above, only a couple shining stars to be seen. For a long time, she felt like it was inevitable that he would find out, and now seemed just as good as any. 

“You know, Hitoshi, I think I’m in love with you.”

His lips curled up into a smile. “I’ve been in love with you for so long, Y/N,” he confessed, “They say love at first sight isn’t real, but damn, it sure feels like it is.”

“God, why do you always know exactly what to say to make me feel like this,” she asked, placing her hand over her head and laughing. “Why are you so perfect?”

“I’m not. I’m perfect, but only for you.”

They sat beside each other in silence for a moment, taking in each other’s feelings. Her hand wormed over to rest on his, and he quickly intertwined their fingers. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. He could feel how warm her skin felt, and the smile on his face only grew. He would always remember this moment.

“Do you mind if I kiss you?”

“Please.”

And so, he got that kiss he wanted all along. Along with many, many more to follow. 

For the first time ever, he felt like he made the right choice. He’d finally done something worthwhile with his life. He met his Y/N.

Thank you for supporting me and have a lovely day.

[energyanon]

Surprise reading as I can’t seem to shake off the curiosity. Ok, I’m gonna set them up in relation to this drama. Personally, I don’t believe it. NV would have to have various personality disorders in order for this to be true, among 5000 other reasons why that is not normal, sane human behaviour. But the Instagram.. so many things don’t match up. However, both me and another anon felt fuzzy headed when we were representing her.. maybe it’s not just her overthinking, maybe it’s something more relating to some kind of disorder, but that’s not my place to say. Let’s check it out. Once again I’m gonna type as I go.

I’ve decided for three set ups here: 1. NV, 2. The group chat as a whole as cited on said Instagram, and 3. Henry.

Set up 2. (The GC) first. I picked up NV and got a headache.

First flag: Natalie wanted to be on top of the GC… that’s weird..

Henry is at a distance but he is staring at them both. Starting to feel like I may have been wrong in my judgment here ha.. 😬 I’m really hoping it’s not true cause otherwise that’s fucking sad and NV has genuine issues. But, I’m ok with being wrong.

Alright, let’s start as NV (cause GC, I feel I already know their feelings regardless of if it’s true or not) FYI, I have moved NV to being close but not on top, as one energy on top of - group of energies would be much too hard to decipher.

NV:

Immediate dizziness. I feel very hot and my air con is currently blasting down upon me so it’s not me. The group chat feels very little to NV. like tiny, as in I could step on them. (1. This can mean they’re not even being seen, she barely cares about them, or 2. Can feel more powerful than) as we know in the screenshots the latter was supposedly the case, so I’m not going to cross that out just yet, but it feels more like I’m just not even seeing them. they’re dirt under my feet. They don’t really have her attention and she’s not super bothered by them, but once I brought her attention to it She does want to stamp it out, it’s a complete nuisance. She wants to cover them up. I gave them a little tap, which ended turning into many taps which turned into actually wanting to destroy their rep all together. so she’s angry about it. (At this point I don’t know if she’s angry about This situation being a lie, as in she’s sick of these people doing this to her, or if she’s genuinely angry at the group for exposing her) the tiny dirt now feels a bit bigger but more like a basketball sized nuisance. She still feels bigger than them, it’s just that this is so ANNOYING. Still wants to rip them up into little pieces, she’s annoyed, she’s moving me around a whole bunch, she’s angry, she’s frustrated, she’s tying her hair up, she’s not having it. like it’s fucking annoying. this is all so ANNOYING. She’s stressed, she’s annoyed, she wants this over and done with.

No more energy shifts. Incoming questions.

Q: do you know them?

No I don’t fucking know them

Ok do you think that was a friend who exposed you?

I don’t know I can’t think I- (just a bunch of profanities) [note: it’s like she’s keyboard smashing in my brain right now it’s REALLY annoyed]

Jaw clenched, I’m swaying from side to side my hands are on my hips, hair away from my face I want to move somewhere else but I need to deal with THIS FUCKING THING FIRST ISHDJFKSJXJDSNX.

god it is SO ANNOYING like if you guys were all in front of me right now you’d be heading me yelling and screaming and So irritated I’m so I’m SO Annoyed. I can’t even think of any other questions to ask cause I’m too busy getting keyboard smashed atm.

I’m gonna move to the group to just see if the intentions there are legit. I need a break from NV.

Ok the group:

the group have some anxiety, stomach dropped. They’re not angry they’re just looking at NV. None of them can be sure if It was NV - I think some of them doubt but it was a “get it out just in case” situation. At least one of them feel bad. Nervous jitters from my right leg. You know how you fidget when you’re waiting to get in trouble?

Q: do you believe it was NV?

There are many of them so I’ll just say it as it came up. No (1) I don’t know (majority) one of them is a yeah, feels like the leader of the group but even then the yeah isn’t a solid resounding yeah. But it’s also not like a “yeaahhh?” It’s like I’m just gonna make a decision and it’s yeah.

Q: are you mad that nv is with Henry

I’m not mad (1)

We’re not mad, we just think he could do better. (Majority)

Q: why did you do this

To expose her

Q: why to expose her if you didn’t truly believe it was her

There is a very weak “it was the right thing to do” like.. when I say weak it feels like they don’t even believe that, but they’ve convinced themselves it is..?

Q: at any point did you lie or fabricate the screenshots?

Resounding no, but one solid yes from someone.

Q: Yes?

One of them.

Q: which one

(I was shown one of them, it was one of the purple and black ones, one where there isn’t much purple - I’ll have to check it after)

Ok, my leg isn’t going crazy anymore - there is just an expectant waiting. They’re looking at NV, she’s taller than them but not much taller (not like they’re a basketball being looked down upon, just normal human heights) the feeling is just waiting. Waiting to see if there is a response. That’s it, that’s all I’ve been given I can’t even conjure Up another question. (Sometimes when the energy is done sharing its just done, I can’t force it past that and I’m not in my right to)

Checking Henry:

Henry is tired, he’s disillusioned, he’s just staring into space. The other two are in front of him (facing one another) but he doesn’t see them. Genuinely no thoughts from him it’s complete disassociation. But I did ask if he knew about this situation, he doesn’t seem to know yet.

And yet he’s still disassociating.. the thought “I don’t know what to do” came up, but it was so slow and fractured it was like… you know that video of that kid who’s trying to say have you ever had a dream that you could do anything but he muddles it up for 20 seconds before getting to it? It’s like that (I’ll link it when I’m done)

“I don’t kn- I just I - what do I ev- wh-“ and it keeps going but imagine it taking FOREVER for him to say it.

He’s stuck in the disassociation. Weird choice, but I need to do it. I’m gonna slap him. (Which yes, means slapping myself)

Ok, that didn’t make much difference, he’s still super tired, he still didn’t see the other two but I tried to bring his attention to NV and he was already turning around to leave “I don’t care, I don’t care I’m too tired” and then he turned back and said to NV to clarify “I do care, but I don’t, I’m tired” and I took him out cause he was walking out of there anyway.

Back to NV one last time, and then I’m doing other stuff with my day and then I’ll do CE tonight.

NV

It’s always dizziness with this chick, I swear. Everytime im with her I’m dizzy, I’m losing blood pressure. She’s calmed down at least but fuck I’m dizzy more dizzy than I usually am (can be her, could also be me continuously going into different energies, I don’t tend to feel like this though but don’t rule it out)

Dizzy, Im not tired, but fatigued like I don’t need to sleep, I need to just lay down. I see the GC but they can fuck off I don’t care. She wants to kick them out of the way. As soon as she does she wants to leap out at them and tear them to shreds. She goes from 1- 100 real quick. I don’t want her to destroy my representative for the group, cause I don’t want anything to accidentally manifest in real time for the actual group, so im going to create a little thing that she can destroy instead - just in case there are any energetic consequences of her destroying the representation of the GC. Found a little piece of paper I called it placebo GC and we’re tearing it up.

Ok so, I got her to tear up Placebo GC. She got raveonous with it. I am now coming to believe that NV has some major anger issues. To be fair, im feeling how annoyed she is and I get it honestly it’s the only way to get out this level of emotion. It’s not healthy, therapy is needed for sure, but I’m not gonna sit here like this and say that she’s overreacting cause when you’re feeling like she is, there’s no where else for this to go

She ripped them up, crushed them, tore at them with her teeth, crushed them into a little ball again and chucked them away and then we just screamed “FUCK!” For literally about 3 minutes and she was LIVID. I’ve sat her down now while I write this, she’s still annoyed, she’s not livid.

Interesting to note though, all throughout the screaming there was never a single thought that came up that was like “why can’t they just let US live, why can’t we just BE together” she really doesn’t seem to care about the affect it has on her and Henry’s relationship, she’s just annoyed people are talking shit. Like she just doesn’t care that people won’t accept them.

Oh! I haven’t checked on her vs. HC so lemme do that. I wanna see if she checks up on him too, cause from a normal relationship perspective, this would affect him too. But let’s see.

Yup, ok, nothing from her end, if anything she’s giving him the silent treatment. Like she’s looking at him in the way you do when your partner has said something stupid and you’re too angry to answer. But she doesn’t care that he’s there. I went to him also to see if he would comfort her and he was just a brick wall, kind of more like “here I am I’m showing up but idc. I really idc. Sorry that you’re going through it I guess.” Both of them had the ~aura~ (I don’t know how to explain it on text) of “this did not go as planned” however, they didn’t SAY that, just as an FYI, it was just a bit of a shared feeling translated into words.

That’s it. I’m ending it there. I’ve got life admin to do, be back later for a CE reading as promised. :)

[hyuniepot]

the butterfly effect. || chapter 6

chapter word count || 5,372

genre || thriller, angst, drama

members || mark lee, na jaemin, lee jeno, huang renjun, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle, park jisung

warnings || mentions of death, implications of depression

pairing || fem!reader x jaemin || slight fem!reader x mark

synopsis || you never thought you’d be able to play with fate so easily, especially not through some shady app. but you suddenly must say goodbye to what you know and hello to a new world where everything seems perfect.

taglist || @gothboyjisung​ @jeongyoonohs @doiewonu @huanginjoon​ @wordsgodeep @colpen

previous chapter

You woke up way later than usual. You were still in the clothes you wore yesterday. You immediately got up and showered, changing into a new pair of clothes.

You woke up way later than usual. You were still in the clothes you wore yesterday. You immediately got up and showered, changing into a new pair of clothes.

You woke up way later than usual. You were still in the clothes you wore yesterday. You immediately got up and showered, changing into a new pair of clothes.

When you were done, you checked your phone.

Mark

hey, when do u wanna hang out?

you can come over here if u want.

or whatever. its fine

oh, you probably aren’t awake yet….

lol. let me know when ur awake.

You smile.

You

hey im awake now

i can come over to ur place, is any time fine?

i just gotta get ready and stuff

You set your phone down and look at yourself in the mirror, continuing to dry your hair. You know you still had to make your final decision on whether you were going to leave or not. Your mind couldn’t make a decision. There were pros and cons to doing both.

If you were to go back, you’d return to a life with no Mark and a Jisung who isn’t happy. But you’d have Hyuck. You’d have Jaemin, and Jeno and Renjun. You’d have your old friends back. You could use what you learned here to fix your life.

But Mark. He was the only thing stopping you. You wanted to take him along with you but you knew it was impossible. You just couldn’t imagine leaving him again when you had spent so long yearning for him to be back.

You jump at the sound of your phone dinging.

Mark

yea, come on over. i’ll be here all day hahah

You

got it. i’ll be there soon

You then clicked on Hyuck’s name to text him.

You

i know this is annoying but please give me the time i need. i’ll let you know tonight what my decision is.

You turned your phone off, grabbing your camera and putting it in your new bag. Jisung was in his room so you gently knock and wait for a response.

Jisung opens the door. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you respond. “I’m gonna go to Mark’s today, are you gonna be okay here alone?”

Your mother’s workload had definitely decreased, but she still worked long hours. You only got to see her in the mornings before school.

Jisung nods. “Yep, that’s fine.”

“Okay.” you exhale. “I’ll see you later, then.”

He nods, and you turn away and head downstairs. You make your way outside and start your journey to Mark’s house. Luckily, you had gone there once since you showed up, so you knew your way.

Everything was still so familiar. Of course it was; this was the town you grew up in after all. And that’s why it was so hard to differentiate from your old life sometimes. Everything still felt right at times.

You were glad Mark didn’t live too far away. You spotted him outside, sitting on one of the concrete stairs that lead to the porch. His face lights up when he spots you, getting up and making his way to you.

“What’s up?” he smiles.

“Nothing,” you reply. “What’s the plan for today?” you both continue making your way to his house.

“I don’t have anything planned, really…” he says, scratching his head. “We just chill for a bit and then figure out something if you want.”

You nod, going up the stairs to his porch. He opens the door, letting you in. You follow him up to his room, suddenly feeling nervous. You hadn’t been alone with Mark like this. You barely even knew how to be around him without feeling awestruck.

He opens the door to his room and it hits you. It was so perfectly… him. It was just what you expected, what you always imagined it would look like. An acoustic guitar stood in the corner of his room, bed haphazardly made. A record player was set up on the left side, the records he owned displayed on a nearby shelf. Posters of all different subjects were taped on the wall, some personal photos mixed in. You spotted one of you and Mark as children, one of the photos you always looked at when you missed him.

It hurt to look at everything. But you had to force your emotions aside.

“Yeah, had to switch up the old room,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets. “I think this looks way cooler.”

You nod. “It looks great.” your voice is barely audible. You couldn’t take your eyes off the photos on the wall.

“Oh,” Mark notices you staring at the wall. He walks to where his bed is, squatting down and pulling a book out from under it. “I found a whole photo album of old photos.” he says. He motions you to come sit down next to him, and you oblige.

He opens it. The first few pages were photos of him as a baby, but it quickly changed to photos of him as a kid. It didn’t take long for you to appear. You had seen them all before, but it was still nice to look at them. There were even pictures from your trip to the butterfly enclosure, an unsure look plastered across your face. Mark was beaming.

“Do you remember this?” Mark puts his finger on an old photo of you and him at a fair — huge grins on both of your faces. He laughs. “We rode a ride and I swore I was gonna get sick after it. You were so freaked out by it that you avoided me until I convinced you I felt better.”

You laugh. You did remember it. You remembered running away from him and staying at least 10 feet away until you finally gave in.

He turns a few pages. It was time to look at photos that you had never seen, stories that you had never heard, the things that could have been. You just tried to keep your breathing steady.

There’s a picture of you and him together in somewhat formal clothing — probably your first highschool dance. Hyuck and another boy you didn’t recognize stood behind you, giving both you and Mark bunny ears.

“You remember Johnny, right?”

That must have been the other boy. You just nodded. Of course, you had no idea who he was.

“He moved here when we were like 12, right?” he looks at the photo. “I miss him. I don’t get to talk to him a lot because he travels so he’s always in a different timezone but… when I do, it’s like he never left.” he adds.

You wrack your brain — did you ever know anyone named Johnny? You were sure you didn’t. He didn’t exist in your old life. But he had somehow been a part of your life in this universe at some point. He was visibly older — not by too much, but he was definitely more mature. It didn’t help that Mark had a baby face. He had brown, medium length hair that was kind of shaggy. He seemed charming. But since there was no sign of him in your phone, you assumed you didn’t keep in touch with him.

Mark flips the pages a few more times. There’s a picture of you, Mark, and Hyuck on what seemed to be your last halloween together. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint when, but you were probably 14 or 15. You were dressed up as Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Hyuck was dressed as the beast and Mark was dressed as Lumière, the candlestick.

You look at the girl in those photos. You wished you had her brain; You wished you remembered everything the way she did. Looking at yourself in the photos didn’t feel right. No matter what you did, you couldn’t convince yourself that it was you. Because technically, it wasn’t. Where was that girl now? Was she living your old life? Spending her days with Jaemin, desperately wishing for Mark?

“Are you okay?” you snap back to reality at the sound of Mark’s voice. He had closed the book and was looking at you with a concerned look on his face.

You let out an awkward chuckle. “Oh… yeah. I’m fine… I just kinda zoned out.”

“Yeah… you’ve been doing that a lot lately…” Mark stands up and slides the book back under his bed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You don’t want to reply. Your eyes start burning with tears.

“Yeah,” you reply softly.

“That’s why I wanted to hang out with you today. You’ve seemed so… off lately… No offense,” Mark sits back down and looks at you. “I don’t mean that in a mean way, I just mean… it seems like something is bothering you and… are you crying?”

Tears finally escape your eyes, cascading down your cheeks. You stay silent as Mark wraps his arms around you, tightly hugging you.

“Oh god, oh no… I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry.” Mark says.

You can’t help but smile as you cry into his chest. “No… it’s not your fault…”

He pulls away from the hug. “Is something actually wrong? You know you can talk to me… I heard bottling up your emotions isn’t healthy…”

You take your time collecting yourself to try and think of an excuse. Obviously you couldn’t tell him the real reason why you seemed so out of it -- oh yeah, Mark, I’m from a universe where you died and I ended up here because I used some app to wish for you back and I have literally no idea what’s going on half the time.

“I’m just stressed,” you tell him. “I’ve never been this stressed so I don’t really know how to deal with it.”

“Ah…” Mark nods. “I get it… I mean, we’re in our last year of school. Everyone’s gonna expect us to act like adults soon. It’s… scary.”

You nod, wiping your tears. I wish that was what I was stressed about.

And that’s when it clicks. You realize you don’t belong here. You were destined to live in a world without Mark. But that thought only makes you start crying again.

Mark hugs you again. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “Just let it out, okay?”

So you do. You let everything out. Your shoulders shake as you sob. To anyone, it would seem like you’re overreacting. Sobbing in your best friend’s arms because you’re stressed. But this was the one thing you felt like could make you feel better.

For years, you laid in your bed alone, sobbing because you missed Mark. Because you felt guilty. And if you weren’t crying over him, you wished he was there to comfort you. And now it finally happened, and you were gonna relish the moment. This was all you ever wanted.

You feel guilty — Mark just wanted to hang out and here you were, making him comfort you as you cried for God knows what.

You force yourself to stop crying. Mark lets you go and levels himself with you, wiping your face with his thumb. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks. “We’re best friends… you can tell me anything, y’know?”

You nod. “I know… I just… didn’t want to bother anyone.”

Mark furrows his brows. “Hey come on, don’t say that. You wouldn’t be bothering anyone. Don’t think like that.”

You hiccup. You could feel that your face was puffy from crying.

“Okay,” Mark stands up. “I think this calls for some relaxation, right? I’m gonna get a bunch of blankets and we’re just gonna lounge.” He grabs a spare blanket and wraps it around your shoulders, helping you stand up. He leads you to his basement. There was a large couch and a TV. You sit down.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” he asks.

You nod. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Mark turns the TV on. “Okay. I’ll find something for us to watch. Get comfortable, okay?”

You scoot around for a bit before finding a comfortable spot. The crying you did made your eyelids heavy.

Mark joins you on the couch, clicking through the TV guide, searching for something to watch. He clicks on a movie before opening his arms. “Come here.”

Maybe it wasn’t right, but you let him hold you. You listen to his heartbeat, trying to keep yourself awake until you couldn’t fight it anymore.

[4:27 p.m.]

Your eyes flutter open. You glance around, taking in your surroundings and remembering you were in Mark’s basement. You realize you were still in his arms. You quickly sit up, making Mark jolt awake.

“Oh shit,” he says, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Did we both fall asleep?” he chuckles.

You smile. “Yeah… looks like it.” You stretch your muscles. “Did you get to watch any of movie?”

“Nope.” Mark replies. “I think I fell asleep right after I realized you had,” he says softly.

You groan. “What time is it? We didn’t sleep through the day, did we?” you ask, suddenly nervous.

Mark pulls out his phone to check the time. He shakes his head. “Nope. Only about two and a half hours.”

You sigh in relief. It was still a long time, but at least it was still daytime. “Oh, good.”

“Do you wanna go get some food? We should probably get up so we don’t fall asleep again,” he laughs.

You smile. “Good idea.”

You both make your way upstairs and you retrieve your bag from Mark’s room before leaving the house. The weather, like yesterday, was nice. A light breeze blew, but it wasn’t cold thanks to the sun. You could hear children playing in a yard nearby. You and Mark made your way to a restaurant nearby. It was one that you didn’t recognize. It was a bit retro-themed and was decorated like a classic diner.

You and Mark sit down at a booth, looking at the menu. “We haven’t been to this place in forever… they got a bunch of new menu items.” Mark mumbles.

You look at the menu. It had all kinds of different types of burgers, but most importantly, milkshakes.

Mark gasped. “They got rid of the cookies ‘n cream milkshake? Are you kidding me?” he whines.

You laugh. “Really? That has to be a popular flavor.”

“Right? It’s so good too, I order it everytime. So why would they — oh, nevermind… they just rebranded it…” Mark says softly, hiding his face with the menu.

Your eyes find their way to the milkshakes; they had simply changed the name of the milkshake from Cookies ‘N Cream to Oreo. You giggle. “Dork.”

“Hey, come on! I was panicked, alright?” Mark laughs.

A waitress swings by and takes your orders — you just order a classic burger and fries with a milkshake with your favorite ice cream flavor.

You feel your phone buzz in your pocket. You pull it out to see who’s calling. It’s Hyuck. “Um,” you swallow hard. “I’m gonna go wash my hands real quick.” you tell Mark.

He nods. “Alright.”

You get up from the booth and quickly walk to the bathroom. You close the door behind you, praying that it was empty. “Hello?”

“God, took you long enough.” Hyuck mutters.

“Why’d you call?” you sigh.

“Because I think we need to actually talk about this… I mean, if you decide to leave, I need to be able to tell you when to send the message.” he replies.

You roll your eyes. “I told you I would let you know later. I’m with Mark right now.”

“Are you serious?”

You pause. It’s deathly quiet. You can feel Hyuck’s anger through the phone. “He wanted to hang out, he asked me last night when he dropped me off… did you really think I’d say no?”

“You should’ve,” he sighs. “You know you’re only making it harder on yourself.”

You knew he was right. “I just… wanted to make some final memories before possibly leaving,” you tell him.

“I… understand.” Hyuck adds quietly. You hear him sigh. “You know this is hard on me too, right? I’m sorry I keep being so pushy but… I just wanna get out of here.”

It’s silent again. For the first time, you realize you never even thought about how Hyuck felt. You knew he missed Mark just as much as you did.

“That’s why I’ve been kinda distancing myself from him. Because the first day we were here, it was hell. All I could think about was that day… it’s all I can think about.” he says. You can barely hear him.

“Hyuck…” you whisper.

“Being here… with him… it’s too much for me to handle. You don’t think I feel the same way? I know this is a universe where we could both be happy with Mark, but something keeps telling me I can’t stay here. Too much has changed. I can’t be comfortable here.” Hyuck’s voice starts trembling. “Which is why I refused to spend any time with Mark. Because he’s the only reason I want to stay. But I miss my old life. I miss my friends. I don’t know what the hell went wrong here, but my life is just so much shittier here. Everything that could’ve gone wrong feels like it went wrong.” he rants.

You feel so much guilt for not taking the time to think about why he’d want to leave. You spent so much time thinking about yourself and Mark because you knew you’d always have Hyuck.

“Not even Mark makes staying worth it.” he spits. You can’t tell if he’s angry or sad; it’s probably both. “We were so stupid for coming here,” he finally chuckles, although you can tell it isn’t from happiness. “We were so fucking stupid.”

“I know,” you reply softly.

“I’m sorry. Call me later, okay?”

He hangs up before you can say anything. You slowly put your phone down and shove it back into your pocket. You want to cry, but you’ve already spent too much time in here. You rush out of the bathroom, and instantly run into someone.

“I’m sorry,” you say, looking up at the person. Your heart almost stops.

“No worries,” Jaemin says, flashing you a polite smile.

Your heart starts pounding. You try to tell yourself to stop staring at him, but this was the first time you’ve seen him since coming here. He doesn’t look too different — hair is darker now but everything is the same. The same eyes you fell in love with. The smile that gave you butterflies in your stomach. He’s dressed in normal clothes, so that meant he was probably eating here alongside you and Mark.

You want to lunge towards him, hugging him so tightly he could never leave you again. But you finally just nodded and forced your legs to walk past him; they had started trembling and you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand there. You were glad Mark’s back was to you. You sat back down at your seat, your hands now trembling

“Everything okay?” Mark asks.

You nod. You clear your throat. “Yeah… uh, sorry I took so long. My mom called while I was in there.”

“Oh, okay.” Mark takes a sip of his milkshake that had been set on the table while you were gone. “You’re not in trouble or anything, right?” he asks, eyes widening.

You smile. “No.”

“Okay, good! I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for hanging out with me or something…” Mark says.

You stir your milkshake with your straw. You weren’t feeling very hungry anymore, but after the first sip, it was too delicious to stop.

“(y/n)!” you hear a voice calling your name. You turn your head towards the direction it’s coming from.

Naeun walks to your table. “I didn’t even see you here! What’s up?” she smiles.

“Oh… nothing.” you reply, forcing a smile in return. “Me and Mark are just hanging out and we were hungry, so here we are.” you tell her.

“Of course. Partners in crime. Hi, Mark.” Naeun responds. “Jaemin brought me here. Can you believe I’ve never been here before? This place has been up for years and I’ve never had the chance.” she pouts.

“Really?” Mark speaks up. “You gotta try their milkshakes, they’re delicious.” he tells her.

Naeun chuckles. “Will do. What flavor did you get? It looks good.” she asks.

“Oh! Cookies ‘n cream. It’s my favorite.” he replies, smiling.

“That’s a good flavor.” You hear Jaemin before you see him. Why is he talking about ice cream? He can’t even eat dairy. You think.

“How would you know?” Naeun teases, as if she was a mind reader. “You can’t have ice cream.”

Jaemin enters your line of sight, wrapping an arm around Naeun’s shoulders. It feels like a gunshot to your chest. “Well, I’m not supposed to have it. But these milkshakes make all the pain worth it.” he jokes.

Mark laughs. “He’s right though. How’s it going, Jaemin? I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Jaemin grins. “I’m doing good. School has been way harder lately, but…”

“Yeah, I would assume so. I can’t believe you got into that school, no offense…”

Jaemin chuckles. “None taken. I was surprised I got in, too. I just wish they had accepted me earlier so I wouldn’t have had to leave halfway through a school year. But, I come back here and visit almost every weekend, so…”

Watching Mark and Jaemin talk felt weird. You didn’t even know they knew each other. That also answered your question as to why you never saw Jaemin at school. You wonder what school he had been accepted to.

“Oh, how rude of me. Hey, (y/n). How are you?” Jaemin turns his attention to you. “I was gonna talk to you earlier but you ran away from me.” he laughs. “I didn’t even realize it was you until you were gone.”

“Sorry…” you say softly. “Um… I didn’t realize it was you either.”

You can feel Jaemin’s eyes piercing into you. You didn’t want to look at him. You couldn’t.

“Well, I’d love to hang out with you guys, but after we eat I have to drive Jaemin back home… maybe we could all hang out another time? Double dates, maybe?” she says, grinning.

“Date?” Mark asks, furrowing his brows. “I mean… yeah, we can hangout but…” he laughs awkwardly.

“I’m teasing,” she says, glancing at you. “Both of you get so defensive!” she jokes. “Not trying to pressure you guys, but you’d be really cute together.” she presses.

“Okay, Naeun, enough,” Jaemin chuckles. “Mark’s gonna explode if you keep going.”

You look at Mark, whose face was red from embarrassment.

“We’ll see you guys later then,” Naeun says. The couple walk away from your table, Jaemin’s arm still around her. Your throat gets tight.

“Gosh…” Mark giggles. “Sorry. Stuff like that just gets me embarrassed,” he says, shaking his head.

You smile. “It’s okay.”

A waitress comes to the table a few moments later and sets the food you ordered on the table. Your appetite had come back. Seeing the food made you realize how hungry you really were.

Mark takes a bite of his burger. “I swear this place always hits the spot,” he says.

He was right. The food was really good. You were actually kind of mad this restaurant didn’t exist in your universe. It was perfect.

“Are you okay?” Mark asks. It’s so sudden, your first response is to just stare at him with wide eyes.

You swallow your food. “Yeah, why?”

Mark shrugs. “I just wanted to check in. You kinda froze up when Naeun and Jaemin were talking to us.” he says softly.

“Oh…” you set your burger down. “I was feeling kind of awkward because I ran into Jaemin when I left the bathroom. And then I ran away from him,” you laugh.

“Ah,” Mark nods. “I see.”

“Yeah… I’m kind of good at that. Making everything awkward.” you chuckle.

“Oh, shush.” Mark laughs. “Have you ever met me?”

You giggle. “Okay, well… if you’re the most awkward person on the planet, then I’m the close second.” you tell him.

“And that’s why we make such a good pair.” he replies.

Why did you feel so guilty every time you remembered how much you loved Jaemin?

You both finished your meals; Mark, of course, offered to pay for everything. Then you both left the restaurant. The sun was beginning to set.

“Ooh, wait,” you tell Mark, pulling your camera from your bag. He stops to look at you. “Let me take a picture of you here,” you say, pointing to one of the neon signs in the window.

Mark gets in front of it and poses, and you snap the photo. You both watch as it develops. “Perfect.” you show it to Mark.

You decide to head back to Mark’s house to hang out for a few more hours. As the sun set, the city was becoming less crowded. You passed children riding their bikes back home, people arriving home from work. Everything felt so normal, once again.

“Hey,” Mark says as you reach his room. “Check this out.” he grabs his guitar. “I finally learned how to play this song,”

“Hmm?” you lounge on his bed. “What song?”

He strums his guitar. You could already tell how good he had gotten at it; you only got the chance to hear him play twice before he died.

You recognize the song instantly — I’m Yours by Jason Mraz. It brings a smile to your face. Mark sings along softly. You realize his singing voice has gotten better as well.

You listen to him sing and shift to your side, propping yourself up with your elbow and resting your head on your hand. He’s completely immersed in the music. He looks so happy. You slowly retrieve your bag and take a photo of him.

He stops. “Oh… sorry. I kinda got preoccupied there,” he laughs.

“No, it’s okay…” you reply, feeling guilty for pulling him out of his music-induced-daze. “I was enjoying it.”

“Really?” Mark taps the strings of his guitar. “Well… I’ll finish the song then.” he continues strumming, taking a few moments to find where he left off.

You watch him, a soft smile on your face. This was a moment you definitely wanted to savor. If you were going to forget your time here, you at least wanted to remember this. It was beautiful. It was Mark.

[10:45 p.m.]

Mark offered to walk you home before it got too late — he had forgotten that it was a school night for him.

“Are you sure your mom won’t be mad?” Mark asks, nervously.

You laugh. “Once again, no. If she was worried about me we’d see flyers on the telephone poles,” you joke.

Mark chuckles. “Okay… I just don’t wanna get you in trouble for keeping you out so late. I lost track of time, to be honest…”

You nod. “Me too.” You had spent hours listening to Mark play his guitar and he tried to help you learn a song, but you weren’t as musically gifted as him, so it didn’t go very well. But Mark acted as if you were the God of Guitar, cheering when you played a few chords.

“Today was really fun.” he says softly. “If you ever wanna do this to… unwind… or whatever… just let me know.”

You smile. “Of course.”

Your heart drops as your house comes into view. It was your last few moments with Mark.

He walks you to your doorstep this time; he usually just walks to your driveway. It’s almost as if he knows. “Well,” Mark says, sighing. “We’re here.”

You grin, trying to mask your sadness. “Yeah… thanks for today. It was really fun!” you say.

Mark stares at you for a moment. “Um…” his eyes dart around, not sure where to look. “I…”

You watch him as he struggles to form a sentence. “Mark?” you ask softly.

He closes his mouth before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “I just had a lot of fun today.” he says.

You nod slowly. What did he really want to say? “Hurry and go home,” you tell him. “I don’t need you being all tired tomorrow.” your voice is barely above a whisper.

Mark stares at you for a few moments more. “You’re right,” he laughs, shaking his head. “I’m tired already… I’ll probably sleep like a baby when I get home.” Whatever tension was there had disappeared. In a spur-of-a-moment decision, you wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Text me when you get home, okay?” you tell him. Your head is against his chest; You can hear his heart beating.

“Of course,” he breathes. He finally wraps his arms around you. “Are… you okay?” he asks again.

You feel tears rushing to your eyes again. You chuckle. “I’m fine. I just… I love you.” you whisper. “You’re my best friend, okay? And… I need you to know that.”

He rubs your back. “I love you too,” he replies. “I’m so glad to know you.” he says.

You let him go. You knew you had to.

“Well… I’ll see you tomorrow.” Mark says.

You nod. “I’ll see you.”

You knew it was a lie, but only on your end. He’d see you. You wouldn’t be seeing him. But you knew what you were doing was right. Mark starts walking away, giving you one final smile before he was out of sight.

You push your front door open, going straight to your room and letting yourself cry. You let all of your emotions out. You wanted to run to Mark and hug him again and you never wanted to let go.

You finally pulled yourself together when you heard a faint knock on your door. You wipe your eyes and face quickly, although you knew your face would be puffy from crying. “Come in.”

Jisung peeks in. “Are you okay?”

You nod, although it’s unconvincing — his simple question makes you cry more. “I’m fine.”

“Why are you crying?” Jisung opens the door completely and enters, sitting next to you on your bed. “Did something happen?”

You shake your head. “No. I’m not sad,” you lie. “I’m just… feeling a lot of emotions right now.”

Jisung furrows his brows. “But… you seem sad.”

You take a deep breath. “I’m not, bud. I’m fine. Nothing happened between me and Mark, if that’s what you’re asking. I guess I’m just feeling… thankful. For Mark, and you, and all my friends.”

“Oh…” you can tell Jisung is still confused, but he shrugs it off. “Well… I guess as long as you aren’t sad, it’s okay.”

You feel him wrap and arm around you. You hug him back, feeling much more relieved now that you had cried a bit more.

“I’m going to bed now,” Jisung says, removing his arm from around your shoulders. “Are you sure you’re okay…?”

You nod. “I’m okay, really. Go to bed. Don’t stay up late because of me.” you tell him. He should’ve been in bed already… you realize.

Jisung nods. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I love you, Jisung.”

He seems taken aback by your words. You don’t blame him — no matter what, telling your sibling you love them still feels awkward.

“Love you too.”

He leaves your room. You pick up your bag from where you had placed it when you got to your room and retrieved your camera. You collect all the photos you had taken. The one of Jisung in the kitchen, him talking to Mark, Mark and his ice cream, everyone outside of the ice cream parlor, him outside of the restaurant, him playing his guitar, and finally, the photo Hyuck had taken of you. You shove them in your pocket, praying that they would return to the correct universe with you.

You lay down on your bed, completely exhausted. You just want to fall asleep, but you know you can’t. You pull out your phone, going to your messages and clicking on Hyuck’s name.

You

let me know when you’re ready.

[innittowinit]

Can you pick me up? my uni burnt down (Chapt. 2)

Relationships: Sleepy bois inc (all fics i write are platonic)

Summary: 

 In which Techno goes to England for University, his building catches fire in the night, and he isn't prepared for the difference in climate between England and California. SBI fluff ensues

Chapter summary: 

After waking up, Wilbur has the great idea that they should do a sleepy boys stream. Tommy doesn't get told about this id

Words: 1785

Language: English

AO3 Chapt. 1

Listen, waking up on a sofa, with a thin blanket shared with 3 men was never going to be the best morning. His back hurt and his legs were numb from Wilbur having sprawled out over the three of them as he slept. 

Stretching his arms back, he recounted the events of last night. God, it really was only a few hours ago, he was so tired. Had this been last year, he would have been able to stay up for days on end and then just crash for an entire weekend. It wasn’t last year though and Techno had gotten himself into a fairly healthy routine, he couldn’t exactly be sleeping through his uni classes anyway. 

“Alright you two” Hearing Philza’s voice, he propped his head up, “Get up, you can’t lay around all day”

A groan came from the mass of blankets and cushions that happened to be Wilbur, who was curled up in the centre of it,

“Phil it's so early and we went to bed so late. It’s fine to sleep in”

“Okay” he chuckled, humouring his tired friend “It’s midday Wil, im taking the blankets away now”

Techno thought it was much too early too, as he tugged the sleeves of Wilbur’s hoodie down a little further so they could act like gloves. 

“Do you mind if I use your PC to try and find out what’s going on with my classes at some point? They'll probably send me an email or something” He grumbled, standing up so he could stretch his back out properly, following Phil slowly to the kitchen.

“That’s fine, it's up in my room, do what you need”

Breakfast was nice, it had been a while since Techno had had time for it honestly, and even longer since he had been able to eat with people he cared about. He had a couple slices of buttered toast and a bowl of some british cereal which he didn’t really like but he didn’t want to be rude so he ate it anyway. 

“You wanna stream together later?” Wil asked through a mouth full of food, earning a snort from Phil. This was nice. 

“Yeah maybe, you use face cam though, I’m not like against showing them my face but y'know, it is what it is” he shrugged, spooning another mouthful of his breakfast into his mouth, he had to admit it was very bland, he much preferred the sweeter ones that were more popular in America. 

“Well think about it, if you decide you don't want them to see you, you can always just sit off to the side and I'll turn my monitor so you can still see it. My office is big enough for it anyway, it’ll be like where Niki was during that one MCC remember?”

Techno nodded and carried on eating, they really were 3 very sleepy boys right now. Maybe he’d take a nap once he found out what was going on with his classes. 

------------------

------------------

Streaming without any gameplay to comment about and with facecam on? Techno wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. That just didn’t really sound like something he was going to enjoy.

It was nerve wracking and he always seemed to glance at the camera too much when it was pointed at him. He knew the fans would be disappointed if he didn’t do it though, When Wilbur tweeted out saying that he and Phil would join him in a ‘you laugh you lose’ he watched as the replies freaked out. 

You could say he was just a bit camera shy, he wasn’t incredibly insecure, sure there were things he didn’t like that much but everyone had things like that, it just made him nervous to know that people were looking at him. 

He’d be okay with his friend’s though, he trusted that they’d never put him in an uncomfortable situation. He knew if he got overwhelmed he could sit outside the frame. 

It would be okay. 

“Hey hey chat” Wilbur mumbled into the mic, making it loud enough so that everyone could hear but it still sounded like he was whispering. 

“We’ve got the blade here, bet you weren’t expecting that huh chat? Or maybe you were, maybe you read the title of the stream, bet there’s someone watching who didn't think he’d be here though” he finally turned the music off and switched from his ‘starting soon’ screen to his regular camera. 

Wil went through the rules, it was the normal stuff, he added in some jokes here and there, prodding Techno and Phil to talk at times. They’d already agreed that this wouldn’t be for youtube, since that seemed to add a bit too much pressure for Techno, but hey, he still had to welcome his chat. 

“Okay!! First media share! Lets go”  

After a series of videos, some funnier than others, Techno had started to loosen up a bit. He was getting more comfortable with the camera and while he’d probably cringe while looking back at the footage, at least he was having fun right now.

He had a warm feeling in his chest that wasn’t usually there when he was streaming alone, sure it was usually fun but nothing was better than being with his friends while doing it, there was really only one person who was missing. 

As if on queue, chat started spamming Tommy’s name, for a moment Techno thought he had been mumbling his thoughts out loud, before he looked between Phil and Wilbur, who both seemed equally confused. Moving Wilbur’s mouse over the chat to pause it, Techno tried to read some of the messages. 

“Oh he tweeted something” he mumbled, pulling his phone out of his pocket without a care. Maybe some irl streamers would have used the computer but knowing Wilbur’s history, he doubted it could run Chrome and streamlabs at the same time. 

Looking at the tweet he felt a little pang of guilt. It was lighthearted and jokey but he knew there’d be a little truth to it. He nudged the other two and read it aloud to them. 

‘Damn guess I’m not a sleepy boy after all’

The air felt a little thick after that, they hadn’t meant to exclude Tommy; all of the excitement of Techno coming to stay had just made it a little hard to arrange to have Tommy here after all. 

Still, they probably should have still told him though. They were supposed to be each other's family.  

“Hey chat I think we’re gonna have to end stream early.” Wilbur finally piped up, deciding it wouldn't be right to carry on when they had hurt their friend, not that chat needed to know that though, he didn’t want to embarrass Tommy. 

“I feel kinda sick and I don't think you all wanna watch me vomit right? Yeah so it’s best we end it now” 

Techno sniggered to himself at that, in games Wilbur always seemed to be very cunning but he supposed he wasn’t very good at lying when it was about something he actually cared about. Said something being Tommy.  

After raiding Fundy, the trio hopped straight onto discord. 

Tommy didn't answer the first time he was called. 

Or the second. 

Finally, after three calls, Tommy decided he’d talk to them. 

“You are all a bunch of dick heads, you know that? What the hell! Why wasn’t I invited to the sleepy boy’s stream! Wilbur you bitch!” Through all the vulgar language and the constant yelling, it was clear that Tommy was genuinely upset. 

He had every right to be, as far as Techno was concerned. From his point of view his friend’s had just gone off and hung out without him. He just hoped he’d calm down once they explained everything.  

“You know I thought we were friends! I thought we were brothers! But if you don’t wanna hang out with a ‘kid’ you can just tell me and i’ll- i'll go!” He was still yelling, as usual, it was clear he was trying to make this into a joke where he could overreact but Techno noticed the small sniffles and the quiver in his voice. 

By the looks on Phil’s and Wilbur’s faces, they recognised it too.  

“Listen, Tommy” 

Wil was the first to talk, it made sense, it seemed that Tommy trusted him the most at times. Sometimes Techno could be a bit too cold and sometimes Phil could get a bit too overbearing.

Techno understood this, he didn’t take it personally, he knew it was only natural that you have people you trust with your emotions more than others. It didn’t mean Tommy didn’t love them just as much, just that they weren’t his ‘go-to’ when he felt down. 

Techno felt the same way sometimes. Feeling’s got complicated and personally he thought Phil was the best to talk to about that, the fact that he was older and had his life sorted out gave him a sense of comfort, like he could trust him because he knew what he was talking about. 

“We didn’t plan a meetup, it just sorta happened. Phil was at my place, helping me record, and then Techno’s Uni had a fire and he needed a place to stay while they’re making it safe again” Wilbur sighed as he heard Tommy moving on the other side of his mic. Techno wondered what he was doing. 

“We would have invited you, had we known that we’d all be in the same place Toms” 

Phil took over, giving Wilbur a little sympathetic smile. The brunette so obviously felt guilty about the situation. 

“But when we got the call from Tech’ it was past 3 in the morning and it was tipping it down with snow, as soon as we got home we all slept. We decided to do a stream this morning but never once did we intend to try and make you feel like you aren’t welcome with us” 

Finally it was Techno’s turn to talk...Fuck.

He wasn’t exactly the most sentimental guy, he struggled to show his emotions and he just assumed everyone he cared for just knew that he cared for them. He rarely had to say it out loud. God okay. He just had to swallow his pride and go for it. 

“Tommy you are a sleepy boy and you are our brother. We did kind of a dick move today and if I was you I’d probably be upset too. I know I didn't like seeing you guys playing without me during MCC and that wasn’t even any of our decisions. We should have called you or something. I know I kinda tease you a lot but that’s just how I show I like people. Listen Tommy if I didn’t care about you I wouldn’t be comfortable enough to make those kinds of jokes with you. It’s not funny if it’s hurting you though..”

Techno bit his lip, this wasn’t as hard as he had anticipated but it was coming out like word vomit. 

“You’re young Tommy but you’re so talented. We love you”

There was some more rustling, it sounded like Tommy was wiping his eyes. Maybe the boy had expected a yelling match, only for it to turn out to be very emotional. 

“I love you guys too.. If you ever exclude me ever again though I’m getting my vlog knife out”

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt90

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

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As Damian walked to Chloe’s suite his scowl sent multiple employees in the opposite direction. The text Chloe had sent him late last night had put him in a far worse mood than usual. He’d spent the morning yelling at everyone he could think of for not warning him Selina might be showing up in Paris before his father. He’d come to the hotel to warn the woman to stay away from Marinette and her family. Chloe he figured could handle herself. Selina either wasn’t in her room or was ignoring him so now he had to bother Chloe to let him in the room. He knocked on the door. Then did it louder when she took too long to answer. He was about to knock a third time when the door was jerked open by his father’s very annoyed looking fiance.

“Will you keep it down, you’ll wake them.” He was too stunned to answer at first, but his mouth recovered quickly.

“I’m not going to be quiet just so you can clean Chloe out. The girl may be obnoxious but you’re my responsibility until Father gets here to keep you in line.” He cringed internally as soon as he said it but remained completely stoic on the outside. He always overreacted when he had to deal with her but there was no way he would back down now.

“I’m perfectly capable of being responsible for myself and I would be insulted that you’d think I would steal from a teenager but you’ve always seen far more deficiencies in me than I actually have. If you don’t believe me though, you can always ask him.” She pointed to the side and he saw Digg in a chair, reading. The Kwami didn’t even bother looking up. Instead of talking he turned and went to Chloe’s bedroom door.

“Damn it Damian. I told you they’re sleeping, leave them alone.” He rolled his eyes but did pause long enough to respond.

“Marinette won’t wake for anything less than an airhorn and I’m more than willing to risk Chloe’s temper to make sure you’re supposed to be here.” He stopped when he jerked the door open though. The girls were indeed sleeping but they both looked horrible. It was obvious Chloe had been crying and he was honestly a little afraid she’d kill him if she knew he’d seen her in such a state. Marinette looked incredibly pale and… small. He tended to forget just how little she was when she was awake because of her personality but asleep… she looked weak and frail and he did not like that. Plagg and Tikki looked up at him from their position on the girl’s pillow and Damian just gave them a nod before he slowly shut the door.

“Just because you want to see the worst in me doesn’t mean everything out of my mouth is a lie.” Damian just rolled his eyes before turning to Digg.

“Make sure you keep an eye on her.” The Kwami just grunted at him. Selina pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a sigh. It sounded resigned.

“Damian, come out to the balcony so we can talk.”

“Absolutely not. I don’t have anything to say to you.” He was not about to listen to another lecture on his behavior, let alone one from her.

“Please. We need to find a way to at least be civil with each other for your father’s sake.” He opened his mouth to tell her that hell would freeze over before that would happen but paused as Luka’s face flashed through his mind with a disapproving frown. After his outburst at the bakery, Luka had asked him about what was going on. No matter how Damian explained it the other boy still seemed to think he needed to be the one to change his mind. At the same time, Selina had never really asked to talk to him before either. They’d just traded barbs and went their separate ways. As much as he hated the idea of compromise it couldn’t hurt to just listen and tell her how ridiculous it was.

“Fine. You can talk but I doubt it’ll help.” He went to the balcony without waiting for her and just leaned on the railing. She followed a minute later but didn’t speak right away.

“We’ve never actually talked about why you have such an issue with me.” He shot her a bland look.

“Because it’s obvious.”

“Maybe, maybe not. I’d still like to hear you say it.” This was pointless. But if he left now chances were his father and/or brothers would corner him later and that would be even worse.

“You’re a thief for starters.”

“And you were an assassin. People change Damian. I haven’t stolen anything that wasn’t necessary for a mission in over a year.” He wanted to argue with that, but he couldn’t come up with anything. He’d even been tracking robberies to see if anything looked like her and come up empty.

“It’s not the same thing. I didn’t know any better.” She let out an annoyed huff.

“And you think I did in the beginning? Unlike you no one was there to pull me out of that mindset. Once I was on my own I only stole from people who could afford it. When it’s the only life you know, the only skillset you have, it takes a lot to make you change. It takes a lot to make you want to change.”

“Then why now? You and Father have been going back and forth for longer than I’ve been in the picture, what’s so different now?” She frowned at him.

“You’re kidding right?” He just shook his head and she was looking at him like he was insane. “Damian, you almost died when you and Bruce came to pull me out of that situation in Rome and that would have been my fault. I realized two things. Bruce was actually serious about wanting to marry me this time, and I would jump off Wayne Tower before I let him endanger one of you for my safety again.” That… was not what he expected. He’d been so angry with his father for going in the first place and he’d still been arguing when the guard came up behind and shot him. He’d almost died because he was more focused on telling his father why he shouldn’t be dating Selina than doing his job.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Damian didn’t know which of them was more surprised that those words left his mouth.

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