ahem. please consider the following concept because it's been making me lose my mind:
before your paths crossed, the mara that afflicted yan blade had a fluid form, shifting at will. it utilized a wide range of ingredients to serve him torments made to order. while effective, his mara wasn't content to reuse the same old parlor tricks. a certain spice was lacking. one that when shoved down his throat, would eviscerate him from the inside out. however, when you entered the picture, its pièce de résistance could finally be presented on a silver platter.
all along, you've been the missing flavor, as you alone can inflict a mortal wound upon an undying man. it considers you a muse. now, it assumes your likeness when delivering jeering taunts or wicked temptations. your voice echoes in his head. crooning, at first, like the first notes of a lullaby. to him, your voice represents warmth. the sole connection he sees any value in maintaining. his mara knows this and preys on it.
when he teeters on the brink of madness, it's you he sees, radiant and untarnished by the viscera he wades in.
"look at you," this false prophet hums, using your tone and cadence. "this is all you're good for, isn't it? hurting others, i mean."
not you, he'd think. a futile rebuttal.
'you' laugh, your eyes gleaming with unbridled malice. "not me? all you've done is hurt me. just changed your methods, is all. you've taken my happiness, my future... i'd rather you use your sword and get it over with."
the edges of blade's vision turn red. this isn't you, this isn't you, but it might as well. and does that not make it worse? for an apparition to steal the words you're too afraid to tell him?
"not an apparition," 'you' correct. "i'm all you're guaranteed."
he's becoming someone he isn't — or, worse — something he'll never not be.
...
when kafka finds him in the aftermath, slathered in gore, she muses that the blood will wash off, but 'your' influence won't. his mara recedes, grinning with satisfaction from knowing it'll always come back.
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Then, on his arrival in Constantinople, after much counsel with himself, considering that he was already unequal to the amount of pressing business and believing that there was no room for delay, on the twenty-eighth of March he brought the aforesaid Valens into one of the suburbs and with the consent of all (for no one ventured to oppose) proclaimed him Augustus. Then he adorned him with the imperial insignia and put a diadem on his head, and brought him back in his own carriage, thus having indeed a lawful partner in his power, but, as the further course of our narrative will show, one who was as compliant as a subordinate.
No sooner were these arrangements perfected without disturbance than both emperors were seized with violent and lingering fevers--
AM 26.4.3-4
this was one of those illustrations that was originally supposed to be a 5 page comic until I realized I don't know anything about later roman empire architecture or visuals or art or anything, so we'll revisit that later. maybe
for right now though, these two are fascinating. we have two brothers acting as one body, even becoming ill in tandem with each other, it's giving This Throne Is Cursed. like, the last time I read about emperors coming down with life threatening illnesses, it was Caligula, and that moment in his biography marked a very specific tone shift. I spent the rest of the (first) time reading about Valens and Valentinian waiting for something comparable to Caligula's reign to happen lmao (Dio 59. 8. 1-2)
and since Caligula was already on the mind, I started thinking about Tiberius: I think he would've loved these two since he had a whole thing about twin-ification and brothers and etc etc etc. ofc, Rome is both a Mouth and a Tomb, so it's going to go badly for someone/everyone eventually, but honestly I think that Valentinian and Valens were the best we could've hoped for. like it could've been so much worse
Tiberius and the Heavenly Twins, Edward Champlin
Failure of Empire: Valens and the Roman State in the Fourth Century A.D, Noel Lenski
⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!
⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
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Hey you don't have to do this if you don't want to but would you be willing to post a poll for me? I secretly self ship so I don't have a blog about it or any reach in the community to get results
If you don't mind, here are the questions and the answers
Can you see your f/o in your dreams?
Yes, and I lucid dream
Yes, and I do not lucid dream
No
Other
See Results
again, if you don't want to do it I totally understand!!
HI ANON. SORRY I AM INCREDIBLY LATE TO THIS i'm absolutely awful at answering asks but i felt like doing a poll and remembered this was here HEHEH 😭 id be more than happy to tho!!! i hope this finds its way back to u :D
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