#they’re all so unique and yet I look at em all n go ah yes. my boy <3

[potato-lord-but-not]

drew a bunch of Oscars (and an Arthur) cus ummmm uhhhh no I’m too embarrassed to say

anyway in order of appearance: @cyanorth, @mikonez, @skrungleyscrimbo, @percymawce-arts, @thedoodlebuggo, @daffytheimp, andd @sevinite (sorry for tagging y’all I just think everyone else should join in on my favorite recreational activity of staring at drawings of Oscar)

[hyunverse]

hiiiii moots x skz book tropes pls

AHH THIS ONE’S UNIQUE, I LOVE!! here’s me quite literally writing a whole fanfic plot

1) @hwajin + hyunjin — and there was only one bed. . . trope. they would go on a staycation (platonically) and one of ‘em would mess up the hotel reservations thus leading to only one room aka one bed being available. (hyunjin’s 100% the one to mess up, he’s 1/3 of baboracha for a reason.) i can see them arguing over who gets the bed EVENTHOUGH IT’S LITERALLY KING SIZED ‘N THEY CAN SHARE. would definitely end up sleeping at the edges of the beds, not facing each other 😭 and then fall in love overnight. it got cold so they probably had to get close or some shit. then wound up talking abt their lonely love lives and Boom. they date. slay.

2) @jkefelx + jeongin — classic bumps-into-each-other-in-university trope. we’ve got kana darling rushing to a class and jeongin walking while being on the phone and Tada. . . they Bump into each other then all their books fall so they both scramble to gather them awkwardly but Wait. . . two hands graze each other’s. gasp! the act gets them both shy. shy enough to accidentally swap books. what happens then??? jeongin’s book just happened to have his number in it so wooo, kana calls it and then the rest is history. 🤸‍♀

3) @starlostseungmin + felix — childhood best friends to lovers with a twist. listen. Hear Me Out. i feel like keisy suits the whole pining, slowburn trope. felix as well! they’d be kindergarten friends who got separated once felix moves and then they meet each other in a 💫 fated reunion 💫 therefore all memories rush back or some shit like that 😭 “i’ve never forgotten you” “me neither” (plays the ouran high school host club theme song) 🎶 kiss kiss fall in love yeahh 🎶

4) @zoe8stay + bang chan — blind date trope. look. they’re both busy people. frankly, they’ve got no time to date. . . which leads to jisung practically blackmailing bang chan to go out on a date with this beautiful person he happens to know (you can’t tell me that jisung wouldn’t do this shit.) so chan goes, not expecting much out of it only to end up enjoying the date. idk how but he tolerates zoe’s love for mint choco ice cream (yes i’ll bring this up ‘til the day i die.) one date turns to three turns to five turns to a committed relationship. zoe’s happy, chan’s happy and jisung’s happy!!!

5) @comet-falls + minho — enemies to friends to lovers. i feel like they’d despise each other at first over some trivial thing. then they’d find out that they have something in common (which is wreaking chaos) so they become partners in crime. somewhere along the way it’d turn into something romantic. 💏

6) @asters-abditory + changbin — classic seven minutes in heaven trope. . . except it’s nothing sexual. i feel like within those seven minutes, they’d wound up having a wholeass deep talk. changbin would say something that’s funny and somehow it turns into a talk about their life??? but not the type of talk that makes you cry. it’s light-hearted, yet meaningful and sprinkled with jokes in between. both changbin and aster are the chill type, but with some chaos in between u get me? people would leave them in the closet thinking some nasty shit is going on but it’s a deep talk instead 💀

7) @milkybonya + jisung — the-extrovert-adopts-the-introvert trope! i’m aware that han is an introvert, but on the surface, he’s the life of the party. he enjoys talking to new people, and i feel like he’d get intrigued by quiet people. milky’s a very sweet person, someone laid back who i feel like at a party, they’d stay on a sofa and just watch while relaxing. i feel like jisung would get attracted by that! mans would end up trying to impress milky for hours 😟

8) @starseungs + seungmin — academic rivals to lovers. ah, the two excellent students in class gets paired for a project. they’d argue here and there (it’s mostly seungmin provoking for fun) and in return, cielle would accidentally fuel into seungmin’s need to provoke??? cielle’s just making remarks that’s supposed to be funny but seungmin takes it Seriously and ends up roasting cielle 😭 it becomes a roasting battle. (which is basically a ticket to seungmin’s heatt tbh) they’re both your typical chaotic duo, it’s entertaining.

[the-himawari]

A3! Mizuno Kaya - Translation [SSR] The Company President of April 1st (1/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

I’m Tachibana Izumi, and starting today, I’ve become a new employee working at MIZUNO Enterprise! It seems I’m the only employee who’s been recruited this year due to various circumstances, so I’m a little bit anxious…

But this is the start of my adult working life I’ve been longing for.

I’m not sure where I’m going to be assigned yet, but no matter which job is entrusted to me, I’ll do my best so I can contribute to the company...!

-pause-

Isuke: Good afternoon, Tachibana-san! I haven’t seen you since orientation, huh? How do you do? I’m the Human Resources manager, Matsukawa. It’s very nice to meet you.

Izumi: N-nice to meet you! (The Human Resources manager Matsukawa-san; I was surprised at first at his tattered suit that looks unbecoming for a large company…) (But I felt moved when I heard that it was a way for others to let their guard down, and it’s his belief that he wants to cherish things.)

Isuke: Ahaha, are you nervous? It’ll be fine. You may be our only recent-grad hire this year, but don't worry since we plan to support you fully!

Izumi: Thank you very much.

Isuke: Now then, you will take a tour of each department today to gain a better understanding of the various aspects of our work. At MIZUNO Enterprise, we value the independence of our employees—. So after getting a look at the work that we do, you may provide your own request on where you’d like to be assigned. And we will respect it to the best of our abilities.

Izumi: Oh, really…! (As I expected, the company culture sure is free.)

Isuke: So then, he will take it from here. Please go ahead.

Mizuno: Yes.

Izumi: (!?!? MIZUNO Enterprise’s President, Mizuno Kaya…!?)

Mizuno: Good afternoon, I’m Mizuno Kaya. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Izumi: Y-yes! It’s nice to meet you!

Mizuno: Now then, how about we get going, Tachibana-san?

-pause-

Izumi: (It’s the first time I’m meeting with the President up close since the final interview…)

Mizuno: Sorry for startling you there. As the President, I must be able to properly explain both the company’s positive points and negative points myself—. And it’s a tradition to have the President personally give a tour of the departments to the new hires.

Izumi: I see… (I was surprised at the amazing reception, but I’m grateful for this valuable opportunity. Let’s listen properly to what he has to say.)

-pause-

Mizuno: Here are our offices. Come in. We have a variety of departments in order for the company to function, including Administrative departments such as the the Human Resources department that Matsukawa-san from earlier belongs to.

Izumi: (Woah…! It’s bustling in here.) (That department over there in particular is especially lively.)

Mizuno: Ahh, those guys over there are the members of the Sales department. Shall we head on over?

Tenma: Yeah, in that case, leave it to me. Of course, I’ll definitely deliver results that exceed your expectations. I’ll create the best product that will surprise and leave anyone impressed. Hmph, ME!!! I'm the one in charge here. I’ll make you think it was a good decision to entrust it to me, so look forward to it.

Mizuno: He’s Sumeragi-kun. He’s famous as he’s called the smug-faced salesman and he’s extremely dependable.

Izumi: (I wonder if his smug face conveys to the customer through the telephone receiver… That’s some amazing technology.)

Yuki: The design of this document I made is cute and easy on the eyes, right? Fufu, are you interested? Then let me let you a story… One of our company’s dazzling management philosophies is…

Mizuno: Over there is the beautiful salesman, Rurikawa-kun. He has many fans of his unique aura as well.

Muku: Awawawa, I’m a tri-coloured ballpen where only one of the colours has ran out. And I'm a flimsy, fluttering piece of scrap paper that’s been shredded—. I can’t believe I’m being praised like that…! B-but I’m happy you said so. If there is anything I can help you with, please let me know!

Mizuno: Sakisaka-kun’s called the negative salesman, but he’s humble, earnest, and very kind.

Misumi: How’s the triangle over here~? I recommend this triangle too! By triangle, you mean a triangle~? Yay!

Mizuno: Triangle salesman Ikaruga-kun is a mysterious person… He has more passion towards triangles than anyone else, and everyone is won over by his presentation.

Kumon: Yep, please let me know anytime! I’LL HELP YOU WITH ALL MY ABSOLUTE MIGHT!! I can ride my bike long distances at 100km/h, and I’m totally fine with meetings starting at 4 in the morning too! I’ll definitely, definitely do my best, SO PLEASE CHOOSE OUR COMPANY!!

Mizuno: The hot-blooded, sporty salesman, Hyodo-kun, is a very hard worker and that fire and cheerfulness energizes you.

Izumi: Everyone’s so distinctive, brilliant, and they’re really wonderful people!

Mizuno: Indeed. And the one with the best performance in the Sales department is…

Kazunari: That, and that, and this too—everything’s a-okaaaay! ‘Kay, just leave everything to me~! Got it, piko! Beri-san~! Oh-em-gee, for real! I totes feel you~! It’s wicked lit and hella full of feelsies, right!*

Mizuno: The party dude salesman Kazunari-kun takes pride in his overwhelming communication power. He was also the top sales performer in March.

Izumi: Amazing…!

Tenma: Damn it, just you wait and see. I’ll become the top in April.

Kumon: UWOHH, I’m not gonna lose either!

Muku: M-me neither…!

Izumi: (Woah, woah… sparks are flying…!)

Mizuno: Even so, those guys go out to play after work together and their synergy is impressive as well.

Izumi: ! Oh, really…! (I see, they’re good rivals and coworkers. I bet their private lives are fulfilling too.)

Misumi: Ah, President-san~!

Muku: Could it be, is the person with you the rumoured new employee?

Mizuno: Yes. I’m just giving her a tour of the departments.

Izumi: I’m Tachibana Izumi. It’s nice to meet you!

Misumi: Wahh, nice to meet you~!

Kazunari: Oh man, you’re a fresh, super cutie, huh! Like, legit swooned! Hey, hey, let’s exchange LIMEs, new hire-chan!

Kumon: That’s not fair, Kazu-san! I wanna become friends with Tachibana-san too!

Tenma: Heh, you do seem motivated, and you’ve got quite a good eye. What do you think, how about you come to the Sales department?

Misumi: Working together with you sounds so fun~!

Yuki: That’s fine, right? I’ll teach you lots of different things if you join.

Muku: We’d be delighted to have you! Of course, please call out to me anytime even if you decide to join a different department.

Kazunari: You’d seriously be super duper welcome! I’ll lend a hand for anything and I’ll be here for you ☆

Izumi: Wahh, thank you all very much!

Mizuno: Fufu, Tachibana-san, you’re a huge hit right away, hm?

???: Ohh, ohh, y’all at the Sales department!

Izumi: !?

---

*Yeah I took some liberties here cause not even google could comprehend this slang lmao

| next

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au pt 9

post directory

obsetress: ready ok ot4 hc incoming

em: ot4! ot4! ot4

obsetress: after dani breaks up with her viola cuts all her hair off n it's the first impulsive thing she's ever allowed herself to do in her whole life (which should also tell you exactly how fucked up she was by it) n so then we have

obsetress: short curly hair viola

em: what is wrong with you

em: oh i love a dramatic haircut as a motif

obsetress: by the time she and rebecca start hooking up it's grown into a long bob and she keeps that for a while tbh because like

obsetress: viola has impulses all the time but she either: suppresses them, or thinks about them and then does them to the point where they can no longer be considered impulsive

obsetress: vs um

obsetress: dani has impulses all the time and used to suppress them but then fully leaned into

obsetress: charging headfirst into whatever the fuck (vp speech ref sheds a tear)

em: OTP: dont you wanna go apeshitt

obsetress: and thinking about how people change u and rub off on u for the better even after they leave

obsetress: viola: wants to go apeshitt

obsetress: viola: thinks about going apeshitt, thinks about all the ways it would benefit her, thinks about how she would enjoy it even if it did not in any way benefit her

obsetress: viola: yes ok don't you wanna go apeshitt

em: no but i am i am thinking abt like. dani and viola as both sort of? dragged into being housewives and homemakers because Women n viola didn’t really have the power to change her situation (even if she got isabel out of it!) and dani actually managed to call it off

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: grits teeth

obsetress: once again crying over very intentional very deliberate danvi parallels that no one else wants to talk about and i think even in this au right

obsetress: viola is socialized in such a specific space that this can very much still be true

obsetress: and i think like part of what draws her to dani is exactly that––that dani had the freedom to do that much sooner––but also she resents dani for exactly that too

obsetress: even when they're together, and that's the possession piece too

obsetress: i think a part of her thinks if she can't do it for herself she can have it for herself and that's close enough

obsetress: like she v much covets dani

em: ah the unique way that lesbians fuck each other up bc of living in a homophobic and misogynistic society

em:i mean who doesn’t covet danis ass

obsetress: literally and metaphorically

obsetress: and part of dani definitely knows that but part of dani (at least until she doesn't) likes it

obsetress: (also this is kinda what i was getting at w my insane lil pwp alfjadslf but i think it tracks here too)

obsetress: because she's like "well this is what it's supposed to be but it didn't work with eddie because i don't like men but now i'm with a woman and this is how it's supposed to be"

obsetress: "and i like being wanted it's nice to be wanted by someone i want for once"

obsetress: but yeah thinking a lot about the danvi dynamic once again

obsetress: viola short curly hair to viola long bob

obsetress: YEAH I JSUT

obsetress: WENT TO HER INSTA TO FIND

obsetress: AND THEN GOT

obsetress: SO DISTRACTD

[em note: edited out a 30 minute tangent going through pictures from kates instagram]

obsetress: so anyway the whole point of this. long bob viola

obsetress: rebecca loves long bob viola she rly loves um. sitting on her lap and running her fingers back through her hair

obsetress: when she and dani see each other again for the first time dani's all "oh. you cut your... hair" and vi's like "i did" and dani's like "it, um. looks... it looks... good?"

em: i think it’s nice when viola does something for herself :)

obsetress: it's nice :)

obsetress: i'm happy for her :)

obsetress: wish she didn't have to look so much hotter though :)

obsetress: don't make that face, babe, it's fine :)

obsetress: you know i love you :)

em: WAIT

em: dani had a fucking moment. she’s like

obsetress: oh dani likes her girls w curly hair huh

em: counting on her fingers. how many ppl has she dated w

em: YEAH

obsetress: YEAHDLKFJSLDFDFJSLDFj

em: CURLY BROWN HAIR

obsetress: OH MGOD EDDIE TOO

obsetress: NOT JUST GIRLS

obsetress: aw baby has a type

em: so actually it is DANI who ends up w the strongest routine

em: just short bob hair viola sitting next to jamie and dani has a fuckjng. out of body experience. perceives herself a little too hard

obsetress: she's just. staring

obsetress: mouth def hanging open

obsetress: then someone's like "dani? dani?" and she's blinking like five times in a row and sitting up straight

obsetress: but she does def have that moment at brunch

em: jamie doesn’t twig it

em: violas like. violas got a keen eye for anyone ‘copying’ her style. raises one devastating eyebrow

obsetress: dani and vi devastating eyebrow partners n crime

obsetress: later that night, in bed: jamie?

jamie: wot?

dani: do i have a type?

obsetress: jamie immediately wants to jump to no because how could she have anything in common w––

obsetress: oh. oh

em: jamie’s lil wispy premature greys set her apart

em: ‘jamie HATES it when she has things in common w viola’ is my favourite bit sjddkhd

obsetress: jamie "not sure how viola has no greys n she's how much older than me again" taylor

em: dani realises she actually has. no idea how old viola is

em: barely even knows a birthday

em: maybe viola even has like. a decoy birthday

em: queen of being mysterious for the drama of it all

obsetress: "she's just too stubborn to grey is all" "i'm stubborn!" "mm" "wossat supposed to mean" "you're..." "i'm what" "you like to... pretend? you're stubborn" "pretend i'm–– i am!" "jamie, i asked you to repark the car because i didn't want to get out of bed and it's street cleaning day and you immediately jumped up to do it even though you can barely parallel park"

em: WHIPPED

obsetress: jamie's quiet for a long time then, softly: "can parallel park just fine"

obsetress: "mm"

obsetress: whipped as hell

obsetress: this led me to everyone making dani or viola parallel park all the time when they go anywhere

obsetress: hc dani is a Very Good driver. idk why but it tickles me

em: i think um. dani is v independent and wants to be able to do things herself

em: and i think she probably got her license before eddie, but as soon as eddie got his....

obsetress: and dani's better than him n got a better score than him, and yet

em: and yet!

em: they swap out being deso driver if they’re gonna be drinking. or jsut call a taxi lmao

em: i’m so endeared by Extremely Good Driver Dani

em: dani does a reverse park without thinking

obsetress: viola loves her martinis n dani is drunk off of half a glass of sangria

obsetress: same!!!!!!!

obsetress: also just like. imagining

obsetress: dani checking all her mirrors

em: no

em: HANNAH

obsetress: and adjusting everything so fastidious

obsetress: OH GOD

obsetress: i didn't––

em: i jumped

em: phew it’s actually cute

obsetress: yeah! dw i'm not sick

em: well

obsetress: she just goes through her whole lil checklist and is so meticulous and precise

em: jamies like ‘we’re the same height’ and danis like ‘well.’

obsetress: oh god the four of them driving to the seaside for a vacation together (lots of content to mine here, will have to put a pin in most of it because i am getting sleepy) but they end up taking the truck much to vi’s chagrin just because it can hold the most

obsetress: (like viola doesn’t have a range rover but listen it needs to be dani n jamie’s car for this to work)

obsetress: and vi and rebecca are sitting in the back and then rebecca’s frowning and blinking and digging a headband out of the seat between them and viola immediately just. knows

obsetress: she’s like “dani?” “mm?” “you and jamie... have cleaned your car recently, right?” (jamie’s chiming in: “i’m right here, vi, you can address me too,” viola pointedly ignores her) “um... maybe a couple months ago? why?” “well,” and vi pokes her disdainfully with the headband, “can you at least tell me you’ve had it cleaned between whenever this got stuck between the seats and rebecca and me sitting here now?”

obsetress: dani just GRINS sheepishly

obsetress: “i could tell you that, but...” “but?” dani mumbles “it would be a lie”

obsetress: anyway dunno why vi’s that upset about having to sit in the backseat where dani n jamie hooked up, like, last week when it’s not like she and rebecca haven’t been inside the two of them respectively but it’s absolutely the kind of contrarian shit she’d choose to be pressed about and it makes me laugh so

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Mega Man Legends

Ah yes, a wonderful PS1 classic. Exactly what I needed. Exactly what I always need.

I played through three Star Wars games back to back: Dark Forces 2, Mysteries of the Sith, and Jedi Outcast. What I hoped to get out of these games was strongly Star Wars themed action adventures that were pickup-and-play. They were that, for the most part. But the levels were overly long, the difficulty uneven, and the complete experiences were mostly...exhausting. So when choosing my next game, I felt like I needed something more “reliable”. Mega Man Legends might be just what I was looking for...

I played the game as a teen in the 90s. It blew me away. Not sure I had played a Mega Man game, but I knew of them as 2D run-n-gunners. So to see a 3D Mega Man, with voice acting, cut scenes, and a full-fledged story was surprising. And it wasn’t like every game at this time were of this caliber. Resident Evil 2. Metal Gear Solid, and Ocarina of Time hadn’t been released yet. This game was blazing new trails!

Now...that’s not to say it’s a complete original. Tomb Raider had already shown the world how 3D platforming shooters could work. And much of MGL is RPG-inspired. Still, there was decent anime voice acting, and cut scenes. The graphics were doing the best they cool for 1997 on the PS1, and the art-direction is still a delight now in 2021. But what really always blew me away was how the buster-canon could be customized. You bought add-ons that boosted specific stats: power, range, fire-rate, and energy (clip-size). You could customize the canon with certain combinations to fit your play style or the situation. I’m really disappointed more games haven’t ripped this off completely (looking at you Borderlands!).

What I really love about this game is the freedom. That’s what makes all great games to me, a sense of freedom to enjoy the world presented. And I love getting to explore and find secrets. Anyway, I’ve enjoyed this game in the past and I’ve restarted it many times, but I’ve never beaten it. That changes now. I’m committed.

The controls (playing on Duckstation) kinda suck. You move forward, back, and left-right with the D-Pad. To turn (rotate) you have to use the shoulder buttons. It’s a precursor to the now-standard two-stick shooter controls of all FPS’s. But at this time, it was a complicated concert of actions to get around. Luckily, the environments aren’t too crazy: usually just straight hallways and large, open spaces. But some challenges are only challenges because of the controls. This is made more annoying by the fact that you can’t shoot while moving.

Well...you can. But only when moving forward or sideways. Not while backwards or turning. I think this is fixed in MML2--but not sure.

There’s a Lock-on button to help with the shooting, but it can occasionally focus on the wrong target. But even without the lock-on, there’s a pretty helpful auto-aim for targets mostly in front of Mega Man.

The difficulty pacing of the game is...well it’s bad. But that’s because as much as the game likes to hold your hand with tutorials and gameplay explanation, they don’t do a great job ensuring you’re properly equipped. I remember playing a few times and finding the first “bosses” to be brutally difficult. You basically go from exploring a short beginner’s dungeon to fighting three boss fights back to back. And these are not easy-going boss fights. These are “hope you’ve mastered these awkward ass controls” boss fights.

But the problem, it seems, is that I just wasn’t prepared. I double-checked a shop before going into the fights and found I was able to upgrade my health points by about 3 notches. I bought a health flask, and upgraded it as well. And then I was able to buy buster parts to make my canon  more formidable. This time, each boss fight was...not easy--but not frustrating. I didn’t fail any of the objectives, and found I could take a few risks without fear of losing. So now I’ve made it a point to constantly visit shops and grind some Zenny for upgrades.

This is where the RPG-ness comes in. While you don’t earn XP and level up--money (zenny) can be used to purchase health, armor, and weapon upgrades. You can also find weapon upgrades in the “dungeons”. Not all combat happens in dungeons. Much of the fighting has been above ground, in forests and towns.

The dungeons are pretty simple. They’re basically on grid-layouts with hallways leading to a variety of open rooms. It would be super easy to randomly generate these kinds of levels. And while I get some Zelda vibes from the treasure chests, the dungeons lack any sort of creative puzzle solving or unique tools and obstacles.

Given that the story of this game is that “diggers” (treasure seekers, tomb raiders--whatever you wanna call em) are exploring underground dungones/vaults for riches, the game could have easily been about finding islands with dungeons and exploring them. I mean, this game could totally function as a Sea of Thieves, and be infinitely playable. But I’m not sure games as such were really in the minds of designers at the time. So instead they created something more linear and story-driven. Which totally works.

Speaking of story--it’s silly. Mega Man is a “Digger” that goes around looking for refractor power sources. It seems this is a post-apocalypse world where oceans have risen to engulf much of the mainland (climate change warning??). To have power, the new cities that have formed must scavenger power from subterranean labyrinths filled with hostile robots. But while the Diggers appear to be generally well-meaning, there are pirates who seek power for power’s sake.

There’s a legendary abundance of energy called the Mother Lode. Um...Ok. It’s supposedly underneath this specific city that Mega Man and friends just so happen to crash land at. So Pirates have begun attacking the city to claim it. One of them is a girl named Tron Bonne. While she works with her pirate family and their army of super cute lego-looking robots, she develops a crush on Mega Man after he saves her from a tiny dog. It’s kind of an interesting development as you see signs of the pirates and Tron before the invasion truly begins. 

Beyond that, there’s not a ton of plot development. It’s really more character driven. Not super complicated characters, but people trying to live their lives while pirates bomb the library (why the library??).

I’m hitting the point in the game I reached when I first played as a teen. That first time was the furthest I’d ever gotten. So once I’m past that, it’ll be all new territory. I can’t wait!

While playing this, though, I can’t get Elder Scrolls out of my mind. I’ve really wanted to play through Morrowind or Oblivion. That thought has made me wish MML was open world like ES.

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 58-63

In which I stare Branderson straight in the eye as I crank up the volume on Paleblood Moon.

I know you play this game. I see what you’re doing here.

Part Three – Defying Truth, Love Truth

[squints] I'm not sure how I feel about this Part title. That fashion folio picture on the back page though! EXCELLENT YES GIVE US MORE

Chapter Fifty-Eight – Burdens

Oh niiiiiice, we're getting transcriptions of the information crystals left in the drawers in the Urithiru library! Definitely a good type of chapter-header.

How high up is Urithiru, if even without clouds below they can't see the ground from the cliffs?

Dalinar, you're only mid-fifty-something, and you still have a tight butt. You're not that old.

Probably good to put a pause on vision-walking while you don't know how much Odium can affect them. One time alone was nearly enough to give you (and the readers) a heart attack.

Uniform design note - “right leg pocket” and it has buttons

Good, they're figuring out how to use their Fast Travel at decreased Stormlight cost; that'll definitely help with resource allocation. And they're finally going to Thaylenah!

...wait what. Kaladin is l a n d e d now, wHAT

(that land is in Sebarial's princedom, Dalinar, did you get permission form him to give that away) (...oh. part of the Crownlands, all right. fair.)

Time/event note – 'Midpeace', which is obviously the low-flow season when all the intermittent and ephemeral streams go dry, possibly the halfway mark of the year from Lightday

Kaladin, you adopt practically everyone you come across who needs it. This is just the logical extension at this point.

You'll move your family if they agree to it. Lirin might have some objections.

The Fused advance is originating from the south, likely close to the Shattered Plains since that's where the changed Listeners would have begun from. Good to know.

….why do I feel like this delay of you becoming Highking is going to have Bad Consequences.

Oooh, shit, Thaylen City is basically avalanching down upon itself from the exposure to the Everstorm. And on top of that, what must have been nearly a tsunami wiped out the docks as the Everstorm hurtled across the sea.

(Culture note – Queen of Thaylenah has a Prince Consort and not a king.)

It's just one more reason that Queen Fen didn't want the Alethi coming through – there's no real way to defend themselves at this point. It's practically all in ruins.

Chapter Fifty-Nine – Bondsmith

[gasps at the chapter title and does a screeching circuit of the room] Okay I'm good

...maybe. A Dustbringer entry this time, one of a woman who wishes to leave memory of her family. Aaaaaahhhhhh-

[cackles] You're bored, Dalinar. You just want to move on and get to the point of the visit, admit it. Keep calling him out on it, Navani.

“I am a diplomat.” Not yet, not really, Dal, but you're trying. You're trying very hard and with great honesty, you're just not used to it yet. Practice. You still need diplomatic experience, in whatever form you can get.

[screeches and rolls at the reinforcement of trust he shows in taking her hands. plural. both of them.]

Huh. So the Everstorm can have rain, or ash and embers, all sorts of variation. Good to know it's intentional and not an inconsistency on Sanderson's part.

Ah. They're using the temples as makeshift hospitals. Perhaps you can offer to send Renarin through to do what he can, Dalinar? It'd be good experience, if nothi-

Goddamn it Taravangian. As generous an offer as that is, I don't think I trust your surgeons. There's bound to be at least a few or more of the Diagram among them.

Taravangian's already written these people and this place off as Unnecessary. He just wants the Death Rattles.

Ehhhhh, letting you come here relatively alone is one thing, but letting Alethi armies come through the Oathgate? Even if she starts believing that you really want to help, I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon, Dalinar.

The throne of Thaylenah isn't hereditary, but they still call their leader 'Queen'. Do they run as a monarchy even? Interesting. We need information on how the Thaylens choose their leader(s).

OH and then we get a bit of the answer right there. Council-elected.

“Does it involve punching someone?” YES. IT DOES. OF COURSE IT DOES. EXCELLENT. PERCUSSIVE DIPLOMACY.

Ooo, that triggered something – something buried deep. Was it what broke you, that memory?

[CACKLES] Just let your emotions reach your expression, Dalinar. Even Navani thinks it'll work.

'Dalinar, instead, decided to pick a fight.' Well, that is the thing that Kholins are best at. Show 'em how it's done, Dal.

Oh my god. Dalinar. Dalinar. You're just. (SNUG UNDERSHIRT I'M DYING)

This is almost as much Drama as Jasnah

You're just going to go out there unarmed? Huh. Okay, okay, you're skilled enough that I can see you lasting the three minutes, probably disarming him at some point in the process.

He's here to make treaty with you and your people, not accuse people of assassination in a fight (that he set up). Besides, he's a Radiant with Stormlight. You're not winning this, kid.

Oop, ooop, lots of dodging, this is another part where it's very plain to see that Sando plays Dark Souls and Bloodborne

Dalinar. Dalinar what are you planning, why are you just standing there at the end of the time-

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, DALINAR. I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE A SHOW, BUT. DUDE. SERIOUSLY.

TALK ABOUT KHOLIN EXTRA™

And you're just. Going to go on and compliment him on his form as you take his hand and shove the sword further in. Casually standing there. No big deal. Just Kholin-ing your way through the scene.

Well. You've convinced them that you're a Radiant. That much is completely indisputable. I'm just not sure that you've convinced them of much else. And that's why you're disappointed in yourself, isn't it? You're thinking it yourself – other than the Stormlight healing, this sort of display is something you've done many times over. So. What do do next? What can you do?

!!!! And… you're hearing the spren of the Temple? Oh oh oh are we going to get to see you Surgebind-

Yes. Along with imbuing yourself with so much stormlight that you're lifting boulders, and I'm not sure that that's part of a Surge – you're just enhancing your strength that much, probably halfway to Plate-strength. H e r ald s.

Bondsmith.

[gasps] Are you sending for Renarin for his healing, please tell me that you are.

….and look at that, you're still going around shirtless. Fen's son seems to be in a state of confused but productive awe, though. Heh.

YOU DID BRING RENARIN TO HEAL. YESGOOD, TRUST HIM WITH RESPONSIBILITY

!!!! And you're somehow getting a sense of another language through your unique Bondsmith power? Oh man, you're basically going to be able to forge Connection once you get used to this, aren't you? Oh that is too cool.

'Renarin kept blaming the healings on him.' Renariiiiiiin, that's… you need to be able to accept the thanks for what you yourself have done. This is your power, something good, and even with no negative connotations like that carried by foresight! (…..[insert Midoriya vs Todoroki “it's YOUR power!” shout here]) What's holding you back in this instance? I… worry about you; this doesn't seem to be the same sort of reluctance that you discussed with Rock.

Culture note, Alethi military saying - “Shardbearers can't hold ground.”

Yessss, good on you admitting (aloud! And to another, independent ruler!) that you need different perspectives, that the world needs them. And then you even go for her advice, even 'unsavory' advice, with “Try me. I'm starting to appreciate that the way I usually do things has severe limitations.”

You're much changed from the man you once were.

Chapter Sixty – Winds and Oaths

….that foreword does not bode well.

!!!! STRIKE TEAM TO KHOLINAR, GO

Okay, so nine total, not a bad size since their infiltration is for an entire city. The 'maidservant' though, I wonder… is that Ishnah. Did Shallan bring Ishnah along. Ishnah doesn't know that Shallan is Veil, though. Hmmmm.

Kaladin: “how does she achieve such heedless joy?” Shallan: [suppresses all Bad Feeling so hard that they start leaking out in Multiple Personalities]

Really, though, he's idolizing her for her coping mechanisms, not her for herself, which is Not Good. I feel like Sanderson knows this, but I'll bet that this rising dread within signals the start of a Love Triangle Plot (which I hate. if you're going to do this, Sanderson, get it over with quickly and decisively, please.)

I'm snorting with laughter at Adolin, though. It doesn't seem like he's afraid of the height like Dalinar was; rather, he's too used to being in control of his own motion and is trying to correct this even though he can't. I get it, man, it happened to me the first time I went skydiving, too.

[screeches delightedly over the growing empathy/telepathy evidence we're getting from the Nahel bond]

[drags hands down face] SYL please understand that your human is demi and does not need to get laid to be happy, and let him choose any romantic entanglements he wishes for himself. If he  starts actually getting to know Shallan rather than idealizing her, that's one thing, but shoving him towards her? Especially right now? I love you dear but you are not helping in this regard.

Bless Sigzil for trying his best to quantify Kaladin's Surges so the rest of us have some idea of what's going on

([snorts] Team OT3 stopping to wisecrack at each other in midair is a lovely scene, though. Adolin self-deprecating to lighten the mood, Kaladin snarking, and Shallan going on a tangent with a punchline.)

Huh. Amazingly enough, it looks like Kholinar isn't under occupation yet, even if it is under threat of such. I'd've thought they would've launched the attack by this point.

[whoops and punches the air] Kholinar does have the colouring of the Zhangye Danxia, I was right, headcanon CONFIRMED g o d that must be utterly gorgeous with the windblades

...but of course there's a marring darkness. Odium-influence of some sort, even if the Voidbringers haven't punched through yet.

Oh, Kaladin.

[winces] Kaladin makes a very good (silent) point about Elhokar not appearing to care about his wife and son – he didn't even refer to them by name right then, and we never heard him mention them himself back in the other two books. It could be many things – an aftereffect of Gavilar's tendency to apparently ignore his own wife and probably his kids as well, I'd bet, though there is also the possibility that it was a political marriage alone and Elhokar just never came to care for his wife (and maybe even his son, when there's a good chance that he's barely even seen the kid while he's playing the war-king).

Ouch. Trying to sound decisive but then trailing off. It's good that he looks to others for their opinion, but the way he does it doesn't inspire confidence. The way Adolin automatically responds – measured and strategic without appearing to override Elhokar's authority – makes me think that this is the way it's always been. Elhokar recovers, bolstered by the given advice, but still.

Chapter Sixty-One – Nightmare Made Manifest

...well that's an inspiring chapter title. We do get a map of Kholinar, though, for which I am thankful.

The chapter quote is from a very snappish Skybreaker, but doesn't reveal much, alas.

The Fused, at the very least, aren’t afraid of unarmed, untrained humans (and why would they be?) so they see letting the refugees go into the city not as giving the enemy possible soldiers, but overwhelming their supplies and space and weakening their ability to hold a siege. Smart, really. Kaladin’s not picking up on it; the Kholins might.

Shallan’s been making damn good use of her practicing. All night is a long time to hold a single illusion, especially using only little light.

Hah – Elhokar definitely didn’t go through the army training that Adolin did, and Shallan hasn’t really had to sleep without shelter save for one night after the shipwreck. The bridgemen, of course, handle a little weathering like it’s nothing.

Oop, yeah, there it is, Adolin understands the Fused’s strategy there.

I am really worried about what might be in the Palace complex. All in shadow? Shallan’s sketch of it warped and twisted? If it’s another one of the Unmade…? The Midnight Mother was bad enough, I worry that in an urban area Branderson’s going to pull something full Bloodborne on us.

Elhokar is doing so much better than he was in the past. Giving him a goal and responsibility that he can work with that a) doesn’t require him to make public/crowd, social decisions and b) he can bounce ideas and opinions off of his crush and his cousin without feeling like they’re going to undermine him.

You can still pretty much see the bridgemen rolling their eyes in the background as he’s speaking, though.

YES YES ILLUSION TIME

I need a description of what Kaladin looks like, stat, because Adolin gleefuly calling the illusion “wretched” does not suffice, even more so when Drehy winces.

[CACKLING OVER ADOLIN’S ILLUSION THOUGH] “Oh, now that’s unfair.” “If I stretch a lie too far, people are more likely to be suspicious.” B l e s s. I can only imagine what poor Kaladin's wearing if that's what you're going with.

That line/excuse on Shallan’s part makes it even more interesting that she Lightweaves Elhokar into a woman, even with the explanation she gives. And he is immediately, perfectly fine with it. Huh. Interesting. Could be just distracted, though; he’s definitely focused and raring to go.

PFFFFFT, even Syl- Shallan what did you weave for him

Not ‘dignified’? Syl, you can totally be a mirror, come on. Wyndle made an excellent, elegant Shardfork, after all.

Elhokar, your crush is showing.

Yeaaaaah, Elhokar is cracked right through, Kal, and if the cryptics he’d seen in the mirror all the way back in TWoK was any indication… Well. At least you’re starting to see it now.

Elhokar, don’t go all fatalistic on us like this, or you might make us think it’s foreshadowing. [side-eyes Sanderson] Also, once again you say “my wife and child” without using their names; it makes you sound very… detached from them.

It’s the arrogance, Kaladin – it’s a Kholin fault for all of them save Renarin and you know it.

‘Stormblessed’ is the mask you made for yourself, even if other people gave it a name. Also mention of Tarah who we still know pretty much nothing about. That needs to change, and hopefully within this book.

‘Those strata remind me of the tunnels in Urithiru.’ In colouration? Layering? How? Sanderson plz elaborate on your geology for me.

H e r alds but Kaladin's illusion-face must be awful.

Yeaaaah, what with the situation both inside the walls and especially at the palace in severe question and no information on what's currently going on, they'll need a base of operations. This is not likely to go quickly or smoothly, and if there is an Unmade there…. oof. I wonder what kind of place Adolin's talking about though? It would be brilliant if we could meet some of his old friends – actual friends, not cordial-political friends like Jakamav and the like used to be.

Aaaaand there goes Kaladin with the needing to feel things to understand them. He needs that emotional tie to really get something.

BOYS. BOYS BEING NERDS AND SHARING SMILES. I am so glad that you two grew so believably into actual friends – from that day all the way back in Sadeas' warcamp to now, it's been a journey.

Uh oh, has the city reached capacity for the refugees it can support, or are they worried about taxing their supplies with an army on their doorstep (like the Fused planned/hoped)?

Oh goddamn it Elhokar they told you all to stay back. If nothing else, the imperious manner and demands might get them answers though (or kicked out entirely. That's also an option.)

….'Azure' does not sound like an Alethi name. It's also a colour. Do I sense a Nalthian woroldhopper…? But then how would they have made it to the rank of Highmarshal, especially since Elhokar's apparently never heard of them? I'm suspicious.

“The highmarshal has no commander.” EVEN MORE SUSPICION, AND WORSE

Look Elhokar I'm sorry but from what we've seen Aesudan is not the most competent of Queens, and it's entirely possible that the city just defaulted to martial law by this point

Weeeeeell, shit. Is this the start of the full assault, or just a harrying force?

Oh, Kaladin. You want to follow that binding urge to protect, but that's not what you're here for. Mm, thankfully, Adolin's already assessed the situation and is managing to get through to you.

There's that saying again, the second time from a Kholin - “Shardbearers can't hold ground.”

The city is stuffed to capacity. The Fused's strategy of herding the humans here to overwhelm the defenders looks to be working.

Yeah – Kaladin may have a good grasp of small-unit tactics, but overall strategy not so much. Nice to have that saying explained out, though, confirming what I thought it meant.

….is that performer basically wearing a bastardized Mistcloak

Behaviour out of the normal, and spren out of the normal too? Affected by Odium? I'm starting to wonder if I wasn't far off in thinking Branderson'd go for a touch of Bloodborne…

Oh my god, Shallan, you made him look memorably hideous. [CACKLES] Well, you're right in saying that people will remember something entirely different from how he actually looks.

“We'd need to stay with someone I'd trust with my life, or more. ”

Adolin.

Adolin please

(please help me I love this dumb, brilliant, vain man so much)

(so much)

Chapter Sixty-Two – Research

A Skybreaker at the beginning of the chapter does not fancy the idea of giving up Urithiru, but there's still no mention of why they abandoned it in the first place.

…Shallan, I know it’s for research, but can you try to attract something other than painspren. How about creationspren instead, that seems to happen around you often enough. And please, please don’t ask Adolin to do it for you, he’d probably recoil in horror at the thought.

Finally getting information on the riots! GOOD, the cliffhanger with the ardent and Aesudan was not comforting in the least.

What is comforting is, apparently, Adolin. I need more info and backstory about him and Yokska, because he feels very familiar with her, waaay beyond just an artisan-customer relationship, even though fashion is one of his Interests. We’ve seen before that he doesn’t trust his life and that of others to someone easily.

Speaking of fashion, examples of civilian fancywear, yesgood. The design seems very early-19th century English or French, which makes sense when Sanderson’s said the military ones are similar to Napoleonic ones.

[winces] Aesudan essentially provides that match for the flames of the riots, then disappears. That doesn’t bode well for her possible survival.

….Elhokar, referring to the probable-Unmade in the palace as ‘the dark spren’ without the person you’re talking to having any context isn’t exactly going to instill confidence – it just makes you sound possibly unhinged and definitely in denial.

SHALLAN, NO

Fucking hell, don’t do that, stormlight healing or no! Listen to Pattern. Effective it may be, but that’s a bad idea

….and the painspren that come to her are basically zombified versions. With claws. Lovely. That’s not good. Unmade influence, or that of Odium directly, it has to be.

Kaladin’s getting more used to being called ‘brightlord’. Not even a twitch.

Ooop, the shadow appeared after the first Pass of the Everstorm. Hmmm.

So the Royal Guard and the Watch are both AWOL – possibly dead, possibly insane, who knows with this different Unmade? Either way, no wonder the wall-guard are listening to this Azure person over anyone else. Their chain of command was thrown into chaos.

I wonder where Aesudan came to the knowledge that the Parshmen were/are Voidbringers. This was after Kholinar lost contact with the rest of the world, and Jasnah didn’t mention anything, so that information must have come from somewhere else.

Huh. Not all of the spren in Kholinar are affected by whatever it is that’s happening to them. It’s not a blanket, immediate AoE, though it could be corruption over time.

Shallan is going to give me some terrible secondhand embarrassment here, I know it.

L o r d

I was right. 'Mortifying' is definitely the correct word for that.

….the highmarshal 'appeared'. Oh, that's not suspicious at all. My money's definitely on Azure being a Nalthian worldhopper at this point, high Alethi rank or no.

So the parade wasn't just a parade, but part of a cult showing and/or ritual – the 'Cult of Moments'. And people might be having scattered visions, or might just be interpreting the changing spren as a sign.

Cultural Note: Alethi addresses for royalty at least follow the English 'your Majesty' → 'your Highness' pattern. Unknown as to others, though I might have missed a 'your Grace' at some point.

Holy shit. No wonder they couldn't call into or out of the city via spanreed, if the voidspren and Fused react to their mere activation like that.

Thank you for your support of Yokska, Shallan. She definitely needed that, and Adolin was apparently too focused to notice (he does have a tendency to tunnel-vision) though he did immediately react.

YES PLEASE FIND OUT MORE ABOUT AZURE AND THE WALL GUARD

Haaaaahahahaha Kaladin knows you did that on purpose omg

Elhokar is actimg more like the king he is now that he's not under the accidental crush of Dalinar casually steamrolling his way into power. Between his social anxiety and getting shoved out of the way in major decision-making, it was easy to misjudge said decision-making skills. (Not that his paranoia helped.)

Ooof. You may be the only one that directly faced an Unmade, Shallan, but still. Please, please skedaddle rather than face an Unmade without backup.

...also you don't want people to know about your Personality Problem. Kaladin's observant enough that he'd probably pick up on how Veil even thinks differently, though he'd already expect a disguise to act in a different manner.

HAH IT IS ISHNAH SHE BROUGHT AS A 'HANDMAIDEN'. Oh man, I wonder how Veil explained that 'their Brightlady' wanted to bring her along on this mission. That skyeel's out of the bag now, though.

And you're casually jumping out of windows now, I see. Well then.

Chapter Sixty-Three – Within the Mirror

ANOTHER MENTION OF AKINAH IN AIMIA, and this time by a Willshaper! Interesting. The mention of maps just makes me sob over Eshonai and my (now reluctantly abandoned) theory that she'd make a good Willshaper.

It's likely the trapped spren that power the fabrials somehow drawing the voidspren when they activate, so yeah, Surges wouldn't grab their attention in the same way.

Huh. Veil automatically thinks of Kaladin as 'the bridgeboy'. That's…. hmm. Adolin and Kaladin have become close enough that those nicknames they use don't feel derogatory anymore, but when Veil uses it it still feels… Not Good.

[winces] Looks like even proximity to the palace complex is having an adverse effect on those nearby, if the guards in the city manses are anything to go by. How close does the area of effect extend, I wonder…?

'She left the park as Veil playing a part. … She was still Veil. Merely in disguise.” Every chapter we get with Shallan fading to the back of her own mind, the other personalities seem to grow more… solid.

The cultists are putting a sort of guard on the Oathgate? Or are they basically doing so for the palace entire? If the Unmade has a hand in the whole spren-cult, then they're much more dangerous than any of the Strike Team first assumed. Considering that there's screams coming from the direction of a fire on the platform they guard? I wouldn't put it past them to be burning “prayers” in the form of people.

[winces again] Shallan. Bringing up the Boots Incident is not the way to endear yourself to Kaladin – quite the opposite, in fact.

…really, Veil? Really? You're eyeing up Kaladin during a mission? Not that he isn't Canonically Gorgeous, but I'm rolling with laughter here over 'dangerous eyes'. She's seeing the stone shell and nothing of the marshmallow insides. (And you think Adolin is bland? H e r alds, Veil, for all your powers of observation, they seem remarkably restrained to the superficial.) Also, Kaladin glaring at you? Not a good reaction. That's reminding me of the satisfaction you felt at the resolution of the Boots Scene, as opposed to his takeway from that same scene of 'Lighteyes take what they want from people without care or consideration.'

Ooo, shit, the Unmade-spren might have some sort of reality-warping influence, or at least some way to twist anything visual.

Veil is absolutely as foolhardy as Shallan, you're just deluding yourself.

WELL THEN. So much for not killing the messenger?

Are the guards inside all being mind-controlled? Or are they dead and reanimated? I wouldn't put it past Odium to zombify people. And what was that figure in the mirror, white-eyed and surprised? A spren, a human?

She's getting better all the time at her infiltration and distraction skills, but her coping mechanisms just keep bottling emotions and reality away deeper and deeper.  Sooner or later, this is going to explode, and it's going to be messy.

The pun duo strikes again.

[overpricedtaco]

One More Rummy

Universe: Final Fantasy XIV Characters: Y’Sayle and Yarae A/N: I realized I hadn’t thrown any of my writing on here in a very long time, but this piece was fun to write and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. It was just a fun little thing I wrote for some characters me and @andaranatishan​ made for an upcoming FFXIV themed DnD game we’re gonna be playing... eventually.. Pretty unique experience I’d say for reasons you’ll find very apparent real quick.

“Fine, fine, I'll cry me cockles out one last time for the new swads, but that's it!” yells out a young, lithe Miqo'te from the bar of the Drowning Wench, a rapturous applause erupting from the crowd that had formed around him and the well-built Au Ra beside him who until now had been sharpening a two-handed axe. “Unless me dear sis Yarae wants to take this rummy – ye drunkards in the crowd better mind your fambles with her by the by, I've seen her hoist cannons with those arms 'o hers when she was still a wee lass. Nothin' but fear left in me for a week after that, lemme tell ye.” The young Xaela at his side cracked a smile and punched the Miqo'te in the arm, causing him to wince and shake off the pain. “Please, brother,” the Au Ra started, her strong voice booming through the room, “you should see me glazes bug out every time you vanish with your squiggly limbs amongst the combat and show back up behind the poor cove or dove you've deemed your victim and finish 'em before I get a chance to get me axe bloody. More impressive to me glazes than a simple show of strength. But please, by all means Y'Sayle, tell your rummy. Ye make me sound more and more badass each time, it's a pleasure to me wattles.”

“No more than you deserve truth be told. You're a right sight in a dance! But as you wish.” The Miqo'te turned back to the crowd and cleared his throat, letting a moment of silence build tension in the bar.

“I was... fourteen summers old I believe, me sis was thirteen. The ship was anchored just out 'o port of Limsa Lominsa, and the moon was far overhead. We'd just completed the biggest longboat deal we've had in years, emptyin' out nearly our whole slave stockpile, and the captain, me dear ol' dad Hallvard Mighte himself, was so bleedin' pleased with the blunt he raked in from this deal that he did the unspeakable and called out the rum. The crew drank their fill, dad included of course, while me and me sis tended to the boat per usual.

“I was up in the crow's nest, keepin' me glazes open for any approachin' tubs while me sis was down below haulin' the rum from the hold to the deck. I bid me time and waited til the crew were drunk and docile before I made me move; I slipped out of the crow's nest and shimmied along the spars of the mast until I reached the rope I'd hidden next to the rigging days earlier. I slid down slow as I could – still nearly giving me fambles rope burn by the way! - afore I was finally level with the sidescuttles. I reached out and knocked on the closest one-” the Miqo'te mimicked his short, rhythmic knocking on the bar, “-just as me and sis'd planned and... Nothing.

“I knocked a wee bit louder this time, but not too loud so I didn't blow me own gob on meself,” and Y'Sayle once again mimicked knocking on the bar, “but yet again, nothing. Now, you might've noticed, but me arms aren't beefy like me sis here-” he made a show of holding his arm up to Yarae's, her sculpted arms well over twice the size of his, “-so I was worried either a daft cutter above me was going to see this obvious rope dangling off the ship, or me shakin' limbs were about to land me belly up in the Rhotano Sea – but lo and behold I hear the scrapin' 'o brass as the porthole swings open and who else but me dear old sis is there to greet me!

“'I thought ye said starboard, Noodle Arms!' Yarae hissed as she pulled me through the sidescuttle, and I whipped back 'This IS starboard, Musclehead! The bow is that way!' as I cocked my head before slipping deeper into the hold, a brief lull in sound before a hushed '...Oh godsdammit...' sounded from me sis. I'd be lying if I said it didn't give me a bene laugh in the moment,” Y'Sayle chuckled with the crowd as he turned to his sister, who was nodding her head with a slight smile on her face.

“Almost as bene as the laugh you gave me the first time you tried to climb up to the crow's nest and your skinny arms got you stuck a quarter of the way up, and your 'muscleheaded' sister had to climb up and save you,” Yarae shot back and the crowd, as well as Y'Sayle, erupted in laughter.

“Ah right, that did happen. Good memory!” Y'Sayle said back “Anyways, me sis joined me deeper in the hold and we ripped the boards from-” a cough from Yarae stopped him, “-...me sis ripped the boards from some boxes, and she pulled out the things we had stowed... oh days ago by then, right? Right.

“I shove this wrapped box into my pocket and I get these wee stabbers in me hands, and they're rusty and dirty and they'd be all but worthless in a straight on fight, but they could force themselves into a man's throat if needed, and honestly that was all I needed 'em for. Me sis hefts this old two-handed cleaver up, its blade nicked, its beard dulled, and its haft barely more than splinters, but an axe like that was all her muscles would need to end these sorry rooks. We looked each other in the eyes and each took a deep breath. 'You ready baby sister?' I asked, and she responded with a 'Ready when you are little brother.' We stepped lightly to-”

“Wait hold on!” some drunkard from the crowd shouted out. “I thought yous was the older one!”

Y'Sayle sighed and rested his face in his palm, taking a deep breath and running his hand through his hair when he was ready. “I'm older. She's bigger. Surely you can whiddle that much through the ale, aye?”

The drunkard, a large Hyur privateer, sneered and stood up from his place in the crowd, spilling a bit of his ale as he does so. “Wha's that supposed to mean? You tryin' ta start a fight?” Yarae began to stand up but Y'Sayle put a hand on her arm. “Look,” the Miqo'te started, “I was assuming you were smart, friend. You can either take that compliment, lemme buy you an ale to replace what you spilled all over the floor, you can shut your gob, an' you can keep your wattles to hear the rest of the story, or me and me sis along with the rest of the culls in this bar are goin' ta mill your quarron bob for interrupting their drinkin' and their entertainment.” Y'Sayle slams some gil onto the bar, letting his hand rest on top of them as he keeps his eyes locked to the privateer's. “What's your answer, friend?”

All eyes in the bar lay on the privateer who, after a few tense moment, sneered before he downed the rest of the ale in his mug. “Gimme the drink...” He muttered as he sat back down. Y'Sayle pulled his hand off the gil and nodded as his sister relaxed at his side.

“Now where was I?” Y'Sayle continued, “Oh, right! Jus' the most important part! Good thing nothing got in the way of that!” A chuckle sounded through the room and the drunkard privateer grumbled and averted his gaze.

“We stepped lightly towards the deck, keepin' careful watch of our dew beaters as we skulked upwards through the bowels of the tub. It seemed like ages afore we reached the final door, the deck crew the last things keeping us from our prize: The death of our slave-drivin' ruffman father, Hallvard Mighte.

“'You're sure about this plan?' I asked as I turned to me sis. She just gives me one of her cocky grins and goes 'As sure as I am in you.' If I heard me sis getting' that sentimental now my only thought would be 'Oh great, so we're dead!' but I swelled with pride that night. We bumped fists, I counted down from three, and we kicked the door down.

“We rushed onto the deck quick as we could, each of us sinking our weapons into the closest crewmen. Each of us dropped a rook afore the rest could react, but they drew their weapons and rushed us the second they smelled a dance. 'It's the kids! End their sorry lives!' I heard one of 'em shout, but I threw me stabber and it stuck deep in his throat and the poor sod crumpled to the floor after I ripped it from his neck with a flip and kicked his friend in the head with the same motion. Some ruffmans grouped up and swung at me sis, but a wide swing with her cleaver broke all their weapons in two, leavin' “em wide-eyed as she used the momentum of her swing to heft her weapon up over her head and slammed it deep into the deck, sending cracks through the wood and knocking the crew near her to the floor.

“We fought our way along the deck, back to back, fighting off every dirty pirate that came near us until we finally got to the captain's quarters. I slipped the wrapped box out of my pocket and opened it up, pulling out the lockpick inside and slipping 'em into the keyhole. 'None of you bastards are getting passed me!' I heard me sis shout behind me as the sounds of more clashing weapons ruptured through the night sky.

“I'd only done this a couple times before when I could have a moment to meself, but even still I got a tumbler down almost immediately. Me hands started shaking with adrenaline when I heard that first click and I began fumbling on the second. I could feel the sweat beading on me brow as the lockpick started slipping through me fingers. I remember almost dropping it as a rush of air scrapped by my cheek and a stabber stuck into the door frame mere ilms from me face.

“'Get it open now, Y'Sayle!' I heard me sis shout from behind as I felt the second tumbler lock in place. Almost I remember thinking, Just a little more. 'Dammit! Y'Sayle, lookout!' I heard Yarae shout, and hands grasped my shoulders and ripped me back from the door. A sword pointed at me chest as a damn ugly Miqo'te was savoring the moment he was about to sink the blade into me innards. 'Get away from him!' me sis yelled out as a chain wrapped around the pirates waist and yanked him back towards her, her eyes glowing red as she hacked into him with her axe. The other pirates, shocked at the animosity comin' from this lass, stepped back as I continued working on the door, thankful all me insides were still inside me.

“'W-W-We can't take her! She's too strong!' I heard one of 'em yell just as I felt the third tumbler click. I rushed inside and slammed it shut behind me, pulling my dagger out once again. I locked eyes with the creature known as Hallvard Mighte immediately, his large Highlander form hard to miss. He was in a state of undress as he pinned me and Yarae's mum to the bed. Seeing his attention lapse, she sprung from his grasp and slapped him hard across the face, falling to the floor as she scrambled to get away. He reached for her, tried to use her as a human shield since his weapon wasn't at hand, but I was already a step ahead of his drunken ideas.

“Me stabber sunk into his outstretched famble and he growled in pain, and I felt a smirk crawl onto me gob as I watched the blood flow hard from his wound. Rage filled his scarred face as he rushed me, and I just barely ducked underneath his arm as a loud crash sounded behind me and I felt splinters rain all around me. I turned quick as I could and where the door once stood was now just an empty frame surrounded by shrapnel, and an angry Hallvard Mighte on the ground as me sis... wasn't fighting anyone. Instead there stood a bunch of weirdly dressed cutters wearin' Lominsan garb, claimin' me dad was under arrest.

“I'll be honest, I was half tempted to jump in the water to try and hop the twig seein' as I was a pirate and currently about to murder me dad in front of what looked like some special Lominsan authorities, but the leader was on me before I could even blink as his allies pinned me dad to the floor. 'The name's Jacke,' he said with a smile, his allies pinning down my dad and tying him and the rest of the crew up. 'We're with the Rogue's Guild. You two want in?'

“And THAT, my friends,” Y'Sayle said before he leaned back in his chair with a smile, “is how I totally milled Hallvard Mighte the Dread Pirate's quarron with jus' me sis and a shoddy stabber, and how ol' Limsa got hold of the two heroes that would one day save its arse from the likes of Aisibhir and his Reformists!” The crowd in the bar roared as the story came to a close, and Yarae rolled her eyes as she let an amused smile grow on her face. Y'Sayle grabbed the full mug of ale that had been sitting next to him untouched throughout the whole story and downed it in one go, letting out a big, breathy, satisfied sigh as the mug slammed down onto the bar.

The siblings, in the crowd's applause and excitement, slipped out of the Drowning Wench as soon as they could, their part of the job complete. Now all they had to do was return back to their Guilds and wait for their payment.

“That rummy gets better every time, Y'Sayle,” a familiar voice sounded from behind as the siblings made it to the Aetheryte Plaza.

“Oh I agree Jacke,” Yarae said as she turned to welcome the Rogue's Guild leader, “He always gives me the best bits, way benar than hearing 'im go on and on about himself.”

“Please, you're way more deservin' of the spotlight than I. I'm not one for bein' the center of attention anyways, certainly not gonna make up a story where I am that's for sure. It'd ruin me stealthy image!” the Miqo'te joked.

“Regardless, you both did great. I almost thought you blew it when you started arguin' with the mark. I whiddled you had it covered, but I was this close to lendin' you me daddles,” Jacke told the siblings as she gestured with his fingers. “I clearly should've had more faith in me dimber dambers.”

“Clearly,” The siblings said in unison with a smile.

“That reminds me, I bit somethin' more'n just blunt from the mark,” Jacke told the pair, his voice lowering. “Somethin' benar too. I'll show you back at the guild,” Jacke said, and he led them through the Lominsan streets back to the Rogue's Guild after a job well done and the promise of future treasures to be nabbed.