#theyre going to have self worth problems when they grow up for sure

[heromaker-if]

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

[here4stars]

Love Reading: ♡Earth signs ♡

21 March 2021

Love Reading: ♡Earth signs ♡

Initials: F, C, A, X, & D

Songs: Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode and Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

Other: Bandaids, nausea/abdominal pain, the color orange, the beach, Suave Men (specifically SPORT) body/hair wash, soy sauce, skin care/sunscreen (or maybe just pale skin), AirPods 1st gen. and AirPod pros, 6 months or less separation, and sulking.

Hi earth signs!!! ♡ This message is very very specific. And for some reason I kept getting this message is for earth sign women (as their sun sign, not in their rising and moon) particularly.

Hi huns🍯🐝, it seems like haven’t been doing well lately. I’m seeing that you seem to practice different ways to manifest things, almost like you’re dipping your toes into Wicca, but are still fearful of the power it may hold. I sense that you are scared of doing spells, because you feel that you will attract bad spirits or negative energy, which is understandable! There’s spells you can do without having to feel completely exposed and vulnerable to other energies and spirits (dm if you’d like a spell that I would pick out for you ♡ almost like a fortune.) But that’s not what I wanted to bring up. Your guides want me to tell you that in order for your manifestations to work, you have to actually believe in yourself and imagine your manifestations while writing them down, saying them in a mirror, drawing them (whatever technique you use!) The whole point of manifesting things is attracting what you deserve, and if you feel like you don’t deserve something deep down inside, then how will it come to you?

I’m not someone who sugar coats things, so please know that my wording may seem harsh but it’s for you to understand the energy and tone I’m receiving. ♡

I’m am just going to tell you flat out though, someone from your past is coming back. It seems like there’s no stopping this person from trying to talk to you, they just need to come up with ways to do it. They’re taking their time, but their energy is very rushed. They’re like, “I have to get this done, I have to get this done, but how?” 

You had a struggle with their person in the past, almost like they saw it as a power struggle. In reality they were just hot headed and immature. This person in the past was very possessive over you, and got jealous easily. It’s almost like they blamed you if another guy was looking at you or being nice to you. This person is very lively and adventurous, they’re really down for anything. It seems like this person would swim in a stormy sea if you asked them to. And it also seems that they’re willing to swim through a stormy sea just to be with you. I keep getting that to be with you was almost a struggle for them, because you felt like you weren’t good enough for them. 

Also side note, but some of you are looking for heartbreak songs/playlists so if you find one on Apple Music let me know too! ♡

You feel rejected, without actually being rejected which must be very painful to think and feel. I want to let you in on a little secret though, it’s all in your head. It’s your mind making your biggest fears come to life so that you feel heartbroken. It’s your inner self’s shield for when you think the real rejection will come. But that heartbreak is not coming, so you broke your heart for nothing huns. There is nothing to do now, besides heal. It seems like you often debate how you would approach this person for when they come back, like you imagine what the conversation would be like. You also debate if you should use your heart or head when they come back, use both! Also, it seems like you want them back greatly, but you also want to tear them a new one. You want to be like, “I love you I love you I love you, so you should never leave me!” And then the other part of you wants to be like, “fuck off, YOU broke my heart!” (Hair flip) Just remember to say how you truly feel, but use both of your head and heart for when they come back. You’re also debating if you should give them another chance, and it may because you to meet someone new, but it could also be that you’re scared that things won’t be the same between you two. I see that you’re clinging onto old memories with them. But a commitment will come with this person, it could marriage, engagement, or maybe moving in with this person! But with this person, a new beginning will come, and it seems like both of you will be more nurturing to each other, you will be more reliable to each other. I see that both of you wanted this connection in the past, but you both were being wish washy with each other. 

I see that you both bring out each other’s inner child. I just got that sometimes in public you act like fools, don’t do that (some people get annoyed by this.) But you both still have romantic feelings for eachtoher so don’t worry. This person is not only a past relationship you had in this life, but from another past life as well, so that could be why you feel like you’re missing something without them. (I AM NOT SAYING THEYRE YOUR SOUL MATE OR TWIN FLAME THOSE TERMS ARE MOSTLY USED BY PEOPLE WHO TRY TO MAKE BANK OFF OF VULNERABLE PEOPLE!!) But it seems like you see each other as worth the wait. You both are like, “No matter how long they take to come back to me, my heart will always belong to them.” 

You need to let loose a little though, but keep your boundaries as they should always be there out of respect for yourself. You have start feeling  and knowing that you deserve the ultimate happiness in many forms. You have this thing about you where if you’re not as accomplished, educated, or beautiful as others then you don’t deserve what they have. LIKE BITCH YOU DESERVE THAT SHIT TOO!!! YOURE BEAUTIFUL!!! YOURE SMART!!!! YOU GOT THINGS GOING ON!!!! YOU GOT THIS!!!! ♡♡♡ YOURE STRONG! YOU GOT A WHOLE ASS PERSON WILLING TO FIGHT POSEIDON AND ALL HIS STANK ASS FISH FRIENDS JUST TO TALK TO YOU!!!! You have potential for everything you want to accomplish and receive in life, you need to let the good thoughts grow and pour a shit ton of pesticides on the bad ones. Banish them back to the depths of your bag/purse that has all of those nasty ass crumbs that get under your nails when you’re digging around for your keys or a pen. 

I also am getting that you’re scared of intimate moments because you may be self conscious of yourself. And for some it’s your body, but for other’s you’re scared of odors. LISTEN ok, i’m going to tell you a little something, YOU DO NOT SMELL. And sex smells nasty anyways for various reasons. There’s literally songs written about it 🙄 so chill with the negative Nancy thoughts. You’re always thinking about the negative, stop already. Is there any part of your life where your negative thoughts don’t take over??? Also it seems like you have a limitless amount of emotions, so please make sure to express them when you need to, it’ll make you feel a lot better. 

Also if you were planning on being cold to this person, don’t because this person is going to throw that same energy back expect you’ll be like 👁👄👁(Stay Alive by BEXEY vibezzz here.) Because though this person is willing to fight for you, they’re not going to fight with you. Pick and choose your battles. Keep in mind that every little argument breaks the foundation in your connection. Also it seems that one of you or maybe both of you have family problems and you tend to take your frustrations out on the other person through fighting. You might also be seeing a lot signs that come in the forms of numbers (i.e. 212, 777, 123 and so on), also symbols. Maybe your person really likes strawberries and now there’s strawberries showing up. 

Thank you for letting me read for you huns ♡✨🌸 Dm for a reading $5 (Venmo). You will get this amount of information (possibly more!) ♡♡♡

[the-order-of-fools]

There was a knights cheering up the reader when theyre sad post, but how about the reader cheering the knights up when theyre upset?

King Knight may be a decadent dandy with enough charisma to resurrect the dead (despite Specter's scoffs), but he has a soft... inner... shell... that needs to be tenderly stroked. Which sounds wrong. Very wrong. He can take quite a few insults as long as he has wit on his side. Though, once he doesn't, things take a turn for the worst. He doesn't consider himself a fool, no, he's the greatest! The fairest in all the land! The perfect king! Even so, they still think of him like that. Is that why none of his banquets are ever attended? Do they consider him enough of a simpleton to ignore his very status? That can't be... No, no, no. There's only one person he trusts, even more than his dear... mother. He sheepishly explains himself, underlining how these words "don't exactly" hurt him in any way, they're only bothersome thoughts. He looks up from his hands, rubbing at small grey spot on his crown. The royal Blacksmith seems to be doing a poorer job every-time he asks for a new finish. Speak to him, tell him he's great. List off what makes him worth it all, what makes him "kingly”. He'll listen for hours, blinking away the tears behind his helm

Specter Knight isn't new to moments of sadness. Whenever he looks back at what he has accomplished, he either sees a reckless child who managed to forsake the only family he has ever had, or an empty shell, wasting away after an oath that was ripped from him by the Enchantress. Depressive thoughts come and go, you can't really blame him when you catch him staring silently at the moon - you know, he would be gazing at his beloved locket instead, if someone hadn't stolen it. It's like he has lost a part of himself. You promise yourself that you will have retrieve it, someday, somehow. Anything to make him happy. The only thing you can currently do is walk up to him, quietly - he's mumbling words under his breath, curses addressed to either himself or the universe - and hold him into your embrace. He won't return it, he's be lost in his own thoughts. Words aren't needed, he's not in any condition to hear them anyway. Sit next to him in silence, make your presence known, remind him that he's not alone and, despite all the evil he has done, someone is still beside him

Treasure Knight is able to withstand both extreme physical and emotional pressure. Still, he has his limits. If he has a berserk button, it would be gold. Insult it, tear it apart with your words and he'll want to snap your neck with his bare hands. After the surge of rage, he grows awfully quiet. He turns detached focusing on the task at hand or searching for a way to resolve whatever may be weighing on his mind. He becomes quite frightening, standing as still as a statue. You're sure the diving suit he inhabits turns otherworldly when he's like this. His voice is monotonous and cold, he's curt and doesn't seem interested in your presence. This can last for days on end. He doesn't seek affection, comfort or anything of the sort. You typically avoid him when he's in such a state, rarely checking in on him to see if he has recovered. It's only after his recovery that he's able to voice what upset him. Even then, he seems awfully calm for someone who was practically alone for a week straight. Strangely, he only enters his vault when he's in a better state of mind, which makes his whereabouts quite easy to guess when he’s “missing”

Tinker Knight normally doesn't let himself be distracted by moments of sadness, as his work requires almost all of his time and effort. This becomes a problem when his work turns into the source of his sadness, frustration or stress. Dreadful lack of inspiration, him not meeting his own impossible expectations, burnout moments that everyone experiences from time to time - he hates not being at the top of his capacity, which always results in him losing all of his confidence, blaming himself for mistakes that don't exist and for his so-called laziness. Sometimes, he even hits the working table or his own forehead out of rage, not hard enough to cause damage thankfully. His depressed state distorts the perception he has of himself and of his own productivity, and that's where you come in. Let him vent out, no matter how awful his complaints might sound. He might even cry from stress if he feels comfortable enough in your presence. In any case, just wait for him to calm down, then explain that productivity isn't all, that he needs to take care of himself before taking care of his projects, and remind him that you don't value him any less during his moments of unproductivity. He'll be thankful for each of your words

Propeller Knight tends to be laid back. Sure, he can be very overdramatic at times. He has played the "offended" card quite a bit, draping melancholically over a couch, waxing poetically about what "horrors" he has faced. He acts, he follows his charismatic sky pirate persona. You can hear it through his expressive tone and see it through his ostentatiously exaggerated gestures. There are few things that truly strike a cord with him, and when they do, the mask shatters. His crew have grown accustomed to it. They know the ins and outs of their captain, even his rare yet present anger. He barks orders and seems utterly detached from everyone around him, he only has his goal in mind and the rage  tearing him from the inside out. Avoid him as much as possible, attempting to reason with him will worsen his state. There have been cases of Propeller throwing himself into combat despite being outnumbered, he clearly lacks self-preservation when his anger bubbles over. At most, the only sign of self-preservation he has is hiding himself away. The presence of Plantos helps him a great deal, they calm his nerves and steady his hammering heart. If sadness still fills his mind, he will cry either alone or seek you out if you're particularly close. He has grown quite worried of this unfortunate trait of his. Aggressive fits of anger have deterred many of his past partners, and for good reason. He will tentatively seek affection in this state, requiring reassurance. Not lies, meaningful, honest, reassurance from you.

Polar Knight has a unique way of dealing with negative emotions. At first, you would say he has no emotions at all, let alone emotions that could possibly crush his portentous vigor - instead, he's very much affected by them. He became much gloomier after joining the Order and he spent his days shoveling intensely and training regularly to keep his mind focused. Now, his preferred method of dealing with negativity remains training. He never seeks help or speaks at all, even his signature grunts turn into silence. You might see him training intensively, sometimes even in the middle of a snowstorm, all alone. There's no use talking to him when he's upset, he will barely give any sign of appreciation. You could surprise him with warm blankets or a hot beverage that you have purposefully made for him instead. He appreciates gestures much more than any kind word you could ever tell him. He must be one of those people who don't think others would be able to understand how they feel, so don't bother him with that. Give him his space and respect his sadness even if its source is unknown to you, he will greatly appreciate it. If he's comfortable enough, he won't be opposed to you caressing his beard out of affection sometimes

Plague Knight rarely seems down in the dumps. He's off giggling, creating massive explosions and discovering new alchemical formulas with Mona. He doesn't give a squawk about anything. He takes the town's folks insults and answers with venomous retorts, still laughing. You would absolutely describe him as overzealously confident if you didn't know him better. He's... awkward. A part of you suspects that he has raised himself. He covers up his asocial behaviors with mockeries and... well, laughter. You have grown able to easily recognize his dreadfully nervous laughs. You know for a fact that he wouldn't admit his true feelings even if his life depended on it. So secretive, trying to hide himself for fear of rejection. It's only through learnt-behavior that he eventually manages to soften up. He minimizes what bothers him, another attempt to impress you for fear of losing the very person he loves. If there's one thing that he won't distort, it's his need for cuddling. He has become a touchy person over the years, maybe because he was lonely for so long? Perhaps, for now he's relentlessly tapping his fingers against your back. Nervous tic.

Mole Knight's sadness usually doesn't turn into anger or frustration. He's not good with emotions, even though teamwork has taught him how to interact with others. He seems to know himself little, which didn't allow him to develop the ability to defend himself from negativity. Not entirely, at least. You will see him dig with much more fervor than usual, pushing himself further and further and being as active as possible. Work cheers him up and helps him forget his sadness, but running away from his emotions doesn't always help. His flames burn very faintly, their hue is dim, they don't sway as energetically as they usually do. He can't ignore his sadness forever, no matter how focused he is at the moment. Take him aside and stop him from digging further, let him focus on you instead. Strangely enough, considering the thick armor that protects his essence, he is quite sensitive to physical touch. Hug him and let his claws envelop your figure, see how the flames will start burning as brightly as ever - he's very warm, so don't feel embarrassed if you find yourself blushing after having hugged him

Black Knight is, by definition, a loner. On top of being a loner, he has trouble admitting his emotions. He tends to push them aside as he wants to be seen as powerful and resilient. Still, he can't keep himself as composed as Polar Knight. He avoids your gaze when upset. Do not touch him, he can be... harsh when expressing his need to be left alone, which makes him feel even worse deep down. Terrorpin, despite not joining him in battle anymore (not after the incident at the Tower), helps him, rubbing its head against his chest until Black places his hand on it. His failures are too fresh in his mind. He can't bear the thought of failing to protect his friends again. This often makes him feel inadequate, sometimes even unwanted. The extended period of time he spent all by himself made him quite resilient, physically speaking, but left a deep scar in him. He must have experienced something similar when he left Shield Knight and Shovel Knight to venture out alone, but the rest of his thoughts are unknown to you. Words won't cheer him up, flashy demonstrations of affection won't either. Sit next to him by the fire and don't hold back a sympathetic smile, it might not seem like it, but he's intently watching you from under his helmet. Slowly but surely, his hand will look for yours while he's caressing Terrorpin's shell absent-mindedly

~Mod Propeller and -Mod Tinker

[orchidbreezefc]

OKAY COOL I WAS ON THE FENCE ABOUT POSTING MY OWN EXPERIENCES IN THE KFAM DISCORD BECAUSE A POST ABOUT People Being Mean To Sage Specifically SEEMED KIND OF MASTURBATORY OR SELF-PITYING OR WHATEVER BUT IF WE REALLY ARE GOING TO STILL BE OUT HERE PUSHING THE This Server Is A Lovely Familial Community And Dissenters Are The Problem NARRATIVE EVEN NOW? HELL NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

obviously this is hard to be objective about. this stuff is a lot less concrete than my first post, a lot more based on vibes i got, which, yknow, is why it’s not in my first post. but if anyone identifies with this, if anyone sees their own experiences in this discord reflected in mine, then it’s going to be worth the worry i’m reading too much into things, or others thinking the same of me. if i can help anyone who felt like THEY were mistreated there and weren’t sure if they were reading too much into things, then. it’s worth it. especially since the M.O. in there was ‘everything’s fine and if not we’re going to MAKE IT FINE by silencing anyone who disagrees’.

a lot of talk has been done about the censorship (word used loosely, first amendment protects from the government not from the mods etc, definitely a specific suppression of dissenting ideas though) the mods have been doing--once more i suggest @kfam-tea for receipts and screenshots. not something i feel great about, but not something i have personal experience with, so i won't speak to it. see also my first post about my interactions with the creators. it touches on the dogpiling, which i'll go into more depth on in this post. you can find it [link: here].

so. the first thing in the official discord that tipped me off about the hivemind samethink phenomenon is that the whole place is distinctly frosty on the subject of samben. that’s a post all its own, one that follows through to numbers on ao3 and whatever, but i’m not here to make a ship manifesto. suffice it to say i got attached to the ship upon listening, inhaled the (suspiciously small) ao3 tag, and was stopped in my tracks at the discord server where any implication of such ship inclinations were met with silence and pointed changes of subject.

distinctly weird. distinctly unusual fandom behavior, that i couldnt even hint around shipping the two men whose incredibly profound relationship is literally the crux of the show, who have exchanged ‘i love you’s, one of whom is confirmed gay--all other romantic entanglements aside, because when have those stopped shippers? that was weird. i realize that's maybe a bit tinfoil hat of me. it could have been the goldfish-bowl big-brother-is-watching vibe from having creators in there, except, as i said, it carries to other sites.

anyway, much more concrete was when i spoke out about my thoughts on ben’s actions in ep68. again, enough there for another post, so tl;dr: he was doing his best, he’s a good guy and a good friend, but his actions DIRECTLY outed sammy to the WHOLE town, without allowing sammy to say the words himself. it was an accident, yes, but it had tangible, harmful consequences, and even accidental harm warrants apology. it should at least be... acknowledged. at some point. by the show OR the fandom. it's a disservice to ben himself to never get the chance to own up to it.

this was an unacceptable take. i tried breaching this topic and making my case twice, and got THOROUGHLY dogpiled both times. a dozen fans crawled out of the woodwork to argue heatedly, sometimes getting quite aggressive, sometimes toeing the line of outright hostility toward me personally. definitely some downright rude messages. not once did anybody speak up to defend my right to put forward my dissenting opinion, let alone SUPPORT my argument, god forbid. ben’s were the actions of a good friend, i was told. outing someone to their whole town without giving them the chance to say it on their own terms didn't qualify as harm at all, i was told, on account of ben's heart being in the right place.

still, the opinions being argued matter less than the attitudes and behaviors. people don't have to agree with me about that ep, i don't care. i do care about being given the right to, as a single person on my own, have space to make an argument without being shouted down by a dozen people. i do care about how it fit into a greater pattern of forbidding any criticism of the show, and ben in particular, who is a good friend and therefore all of his actions are good and harmless, who is our resident heterosexual unassailable paragon of purity. which might explain the samben problem--sammy/ron[/jack] was perfectly fine, even popular, but there was never a whisper of shipping ben with anyone but emily. they're Official. theyre The Perfect Couple. don't you dare challenge that (and for the most part, i didn’t dare. i quickly learned not to).

my [link: previous post] details kyle's response to these fun events, where he specifically went out of the way to follow me being shouted into silence (a result of me being driven to literal tears and shutting down rather than invite more argument) with a warm congratulations to everybody for their conduct in this discussion. because that's the kind of conversation kyle wants to specifically and explicitly praise and encourage, i guess.

anyway. this contributed to the growing sense over my time in the discord that people held a certain distaste for me but didn’t want to say anything direct. instead they talked around me, ignored me, immediately changed the subject from my messages, the whole while bestowing constant glowing compliments on each other and endlessly repeating saccharine sentiments about what a nice family type community they were, how grateful they were for the discord being such a positive space. i suppose that’s an easy impression to get when negativity is ruthlessly suppressed (and apparently outright censored nowadays) and instead of insults or, god forbid, communication with people with whom folks might take issue, they just (more or less) silently stonewall and cold shoulder them.

again, i could be misreading cues, being egocentric or tinfoil hat by reading this pattern into how i in particular was treated. either way, the fact that i was given the fandom friday shout out the week after KFAM live was definitely... strange. fishy, even. i was already mostly out the door at that point, had been for weeks--it was actually in my last few days speaking there period. i felt strangely guilty that they would dedicate a day to me when i didn’t like being there much and hardly spoke any longer. one thing’s for sure: my congratulations were fewer and more impersonal, perfunctory, and/or generic than other fans got (i kept a screenshot). i still have no idea what to make of that one, but there you have it.

p.s.: since vagues are in vogue now apparently, i might as well mention the person who's been accused of being A Problem In The Discord For A While Now, among nastier things, which definitely is not an effort to justify kyle's passive aggressive response to their untagged post which used the phrase 'death of the author', or kyle subsequently crying on twitter about death threats because apparently he couldn't be bothered to google a basic literary analysis term and thought if he was vague enough nobody would look into what was actually said. i guess he was right, if the hundreds of asspats and outcries against The Evils Of Podcast Fan Meanies were any indication.

i digress. i just wanted to testify that the fan in question was one of maybe three or four people on the server who consistently treated me nicely and acted like they liked me. and that another fan who claimed to be uncomfortable around death-of-the-author-person was the person who came the closest to being outright nasty to me when i expressed a critical opinion. make of that what you will i guess!

p.p.s.: if i never say anything more about this whole thing or the creators’ part in it, i do want to say for the record: noah james is fully exempt from all of this and remains absolutely wonderful and a whole treasure. like dont pedestalize male creators and assume them incapable of wrongdoing etc etc but i had an hour long midnight denny’s breakfast sitting across from him and he was nothing short of an angel the whole time. sweetest guy i’ve ever met. he hasn’t breathed a word about any of this drama. he may not even know it’s going on because he’s too busy being the most beautiful and talented man in america or something. i love you noah

[feralhogs]

Questions 1, 2, skip a few, 99 100! ANSWER THEM ALL!!!!!!

LETS DO THIS

99 gay-ish asks

how tall are you?5 SOMETHING

what is your body type?SLENDERMAN

what is your favorite part about your body?THE T

is your current hair color your natural hair color?YES

are you more outgoing or more shy?SHY

are you more femme or butch?ITS COMPLICATED, BUT, BUTCH

are you tol or smol?APPARENTLY IM TWINK. NOT SURE WHERE THAT IS ON THIS SCALE

wine mom or vodka aunt?NO

weird habit?I EAT BREAKFAST FOOD AT ANY HOUR

favorite meme?VIBE CHECK, IM SMUG ABOUT MY URL

do you sing in the shower?NO BUT I USED TO. JUST SHY ABOUT ROOMMATES. I DO IN MY CAR

ever used a bow and arrow?NO, BUT MY BROTHER DESIGNED AND BUILT ONE, GOT IN TROUBLE FOR MAKING A WEAPON

are/were you a theatre kid?IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE IM ALLOWED TO HAVE AN EGO, YES

have you ever seen a broadway musical?NO

do you think musicals are cheesy?NO I THINK THEYRE JUST A MEDIUM OF ART

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?NO WEIRDLY

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?IDK THEM

last movie you watched?PROBABLY MEGEAMIND

behind the camera or in front of it?BEHIND. BUT BOTH IS GOOD

favorite tv show?AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

meaning behind your urlTHE ACTUAL REASON IS IT REMINDS ME I CAN TRUST MY INTUITION

reason you joined tumblrA CRUSH WROTE IN MY YEARBOOK I SHOULD GET IT. DONT WRITE THAT IN PEOPLES YEARBOOKS

who’s your closest tumblr friend?THE PERSON ASKING ME 99 QUESTIONS

what’s something most people love that you hate?TACOS AT WORK. THEYRE POPULAR OF COURSE. I MAY NOT KNOW MY TACOS, BUT PLAIN RAW CABBAGE ON THEM MAKES ME DOUBT

have you ever taken narcotics?NO

have you had sex?NO

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?I DONT GET CAUGHT!!!! IM SO SNEAKY… AND TRAUMATIZED. I ONLY GOT CAUGHT WHEN PEOPLE WERE LIKE, HUNTING ME. NOT FAIR. ALSO HOW DO YOU “GET CAUGHT” FOR DOING NORMAL THINGS LIKE READING AND HAVING CLOTHES

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?PROBABLY THE REASSURING CHRISTIAN VALUES THINGS I TOLD MY PARENTS TO GET MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE INCONVENIENTLY TRUTHFUL, THAT WAS SOME PRETTY HARDCORE LYING IN A RIDICULOUS SITUATION, AND THE WORST BECAUSE WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO HAVE TO DO. IT WAS HORRIBLE BECAUSE I WAS SO CONVINCING BECAUSE I MIXED IT WITH THE TRUTH I COULD SINCERELY EXPRESS

describe your passion without mentioning it.HEY GUYS IM WRITING CHAPTER 1 AGAIN I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT THIS TIME

describe your best friend.WARM STRONG RESILIENT UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING KINDLY HONEST CREATIVE TALENTED BRAVE HARDWORKING BEAUTIFUL ORIGINAL NURTURING SELF CONFIDENT

give us one thing about you that no one knows.NO ONE KNOWS THE GRITTY DETAILS OF SOME SAD MOMENTS IN MY PAST. DID YOU KNOW I HATE THE SMELL OF HOSPITAL FOOD FROM WHEN I VISITED A FAMILY MEMBER IN A PSYCH WARD

how do you feel right now?GOOD, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO TO BED THOUGH

what is your biggest fear?BREAKING SELF HARM STREAK

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?SING A SONG EARTH WIND AND FIRE

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?LEAVING MY PARENTS. ITS TAKEN ME AGES TO UNLEARN SO MUCH SELF-DEFEATING STUFF

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?MOSTLY EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE BUT IM CHILL

something you fantasize about.ACTUALLY DANCING TO MUSIC I LIKE. I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO DANCE BUT I WANT TO SFM

last time you cried and whyTHAT PREACHER GUY IN LUCIFER. IT SUCKED BUT IM SO BLOWN AWAY BY LUCIFERS ANGRY YELLING AT THE SKY. WHAT A GIANT MOOD

what was the last thing that made you laugh?MY SISTER ASKING ME WHAT DILF MEANT

do you really, truly miss someone right now?NO. IF I MISS SOMEONE, ITS A SIGN THEY WERE A BAG OF DICKS TO ME AND MESSED UP MY INNER CLARITY

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?YOU

the last time you felt broken?WHEN MY TWO FRIENDS AT THE TIME GANGED UP ON ME AND ABANDONED ME AT A NOT PRETTY TIME IN MY LIFE. I COULDNT EAT WHICH AND I STILL STRUGGLE WITH EATING, I NEVER USED TO

are you starting to realize anything?THAT IF I RELY ON MY LIFE EXPERIENCE, ILL EXPECT TO FAIL AND SABOTAGE MYSELF, AND INSTEAD I NEED TO TAKE RISKS AND PUT FAITH IN MY FUTURE.

are you more dominant or more submissive?THERES EVIDENCE FOR BOTH, BUT I THINK THE LATTER IS JUST FROM ABUSE AND GIRL RULES

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)WASH YOUR HANDS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?AROUND MY AGE THERE IS SOME UNDERSTANDING

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.IM NOT IN LOVE I DONT EVEN HAVE A CRUSH. I MAY HAVE A SQUISH

do you have any kinks?MAYBE SO

first thing you notice in a person?HOW THEY HANDLE STRESS AND PROBLEMS, IF THEY BLAME/GET ANGRY, OR IF THEY ARE COMPASSIONATE AND PATIENT. LOOKING FOR RED FLAGS

how can someone win your heart?FOOD. CHEESECAKE WAS A POWER MOVE. BONDING… OVER FOOD. I HAVE HAPPY MEMORIES ATTACHED TO BEVERAGES.

been rejected by a crush?YES

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?YES

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?NO

is trust a big issue for you?YES

did you hang out with the person you like recently?NO

is confidence cute?YES, SELF LOVE LOOKS GOOD ON PEOPLE

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?GOOD FOR THEM. I DONT LIKE ANYONE RIGHT NOW

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?NO. GIGGLING LIKE A LUNATIC IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE AND YOU NEED TO KEEP UP

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?IF THEYRE FEELINGS, PROBABLY, BECAUSE IM TRANSPARENT

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?IVE HAD MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED FOR MY FTM TRANSITION

do you want to get marriedYEAH WHEN IM FIFTY THEN ILL GET A BUNCH OF DOGS AND CATS AND CHICKENS

worst thing you’ve ever done?APPARENTLY IVE BORROWED BOOKS AND NEVER RETURNED THEM

three things that turn you on.IM GOING THRU PUBERTY 2, TEENAGE BOY EDITION, IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH

who do you hate?I DONT LIKE SUCH SIMPLE CATEGORIES, BUT I START TO FEEL HATRED WITH REPEATED CRUELTY/WHEN SOMEONE REFUSES TO HEAR ME

favorite term of endearment?MY FRIEND

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?I DIDNT REALLY HAVE TVS/POP CULTURE GROWING UP LIKE MOST PEOPLE, PROBABLY FOUND IT IN CREATIVE WRITING

intimidating girls or kind girls?KIND

what do you look for in a possible partner?EQUALITY

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?YES

are you good at flirting?PERHAPS. WHEN IM NOT THINKING ABOUT IT

who was the first person you came out to?I DONT ACTUALLY REMEMBER. A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND. IT WAS A STRESSFUL COMPLICATED TIME, MY WORLD WAS UPSIDE DOWN, IT WAS GRADUAL

do you have any friends who are wlw?PROBABLY

is your crush wlw?IDK

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?A DOUCHE CANOE UNFORTUNATELY

write a short love poem to your crush/self?DEAR PERSON,THANK YOU FOR THE CHEESECAKEIT WAS SO GOODBUT ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS FROM YOU

do you fall in love easily?NO. I WISH I DID. I COULD USE THE HIGH TO GET STUFF DONE

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?I HATE TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL HUMILIATED AND ASHAMED, SO I JUST DONT. I ALSO HATE TALKING ABOUT SELF HARM BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW HOW. AM I GOING TO TRIGGER PEOPLE? AND IT IS SHROUDED IN SHAME AND FEAR.

are you good at hiding your feelings?YES, WHEN I CONSCIOUSLY MAKE AN EFFORT TO

are you a forgiving person?NO. I USED TO BE ALL ABOUT FORGIVENESS, AND GREW UP FORGIVING ABUSIVE CYCLES, IT WAS SO UNHEALTHY. NOW I FEEL LIKE A CROW HOLDING GRUDGES FOR CENTURIES, AND I DONT WANT TO BE BITTER EITHER – I OFTEN FEEL BAD FOR NOT FORGIVING, EVEN IF ITS JUST FORGIVENESS FOR MY OWN SAKE. BUT ITS A NEW DEVELOPMENT THAT IM ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL ANGRY, BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT BEING WRONGED, WANT JUSTICE FOR MYSELF. AND MAYBE SOME THINGS SHOULDNT BE FORGIVEN.

what is your “type?���I DONT KNOW. I RECENTLY STARTED GROWING SOME SELF WORTH, AND I DONT THINK THE PEOPLE IVE SOUGHT OUT TO RELIVE MY PAIN COUNTS

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?LAST ONE

tall girls or short girls?BOTH IS GOOD

hugs or kisses?HUGS

twirl her around or get twirled?I WANNA TWIRL PEOPLE

tummy kisses or thigh kisses?BOTH

hairline kisses or neck kisses?NECK

play with her hair or stroke her tummy?PLAYING WITH HAIR

making out or soft kisses?MAKING OUT

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?WAIST

how confident are you in your sexuality?I THINK PEOPLE WOULD ASSUME IM NOT. IM SHY, AND MY NERDY CHRISTIAN VIBE ISNT GOING ANYWHERE. IM ALSO JUST BEGINNING TO LIVE AS MYSELF AND IM RELEARNING EVERYTHING. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO REALLY KNOWING MYSELF IM CONFIDENT

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?NO. I WILL START CRANKING OUT ART AND FOCUS LESS THAN USUAL

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?YES

how old were you when you realized you were into girls?20ISH BUT THE SIGNS WERE THERE LONG BEFORE

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?I GOT MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED REMEMBER

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?I DONT KNOW MANY BUT IM HAPPY FOR THE CANON MARCELINE AND BUBBLEGUM

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?MY SISTER PROJECTING ABOUT HER LIFE. WE HAVE CONSERVATIVE MISOGYNIST PARENTS BUT WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND IT DID NOT AFFECT US IN THE SAME WAY

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?I FEEL LIKE IM FORGETTING SOMETHING NICE A STRANGER SAID ONCE

what is love to you?NOT SOMETHING YOU DISPENSE AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. ITS A WAY OF LIVING – IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF, YOU LOVE OTHER PEOPLE, AND YOU LOVE THE WORLD AROUND YOU AND TAKE CARE OF IT. ITS NEITHER FAWNING NOR CONTROL – ITS ACCEPTANCE

ask me anything.YOU DIDNT ASK ME ANYTHING SO IM JUST GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. IVE BEEN EATING POPCORN CHICKEN WITH HONEY

[punchholesinthesky]

So I’ve been doing a re-read of HDM, and it’s been great. I have a lot of thoughts.

I originally read the series around 2003 maybe? I’ve visited again since but it’s been ages and it’s been a really interesting experience revisiting as an adult rather than a teen.

I started listening to extraneous podcast who are also doing a re-read and it’s great to listen to their discussion plus what i’ve been thinking. 

I thought I’d tackle one issue from their first ep that struck with me: their hogwarts houses.

Sorting fictional characters into hogwarts houses is probably a complete pointless exercise, though I like doing it cause it means, like the hat, going into their mind, literary analysis of a character and justification, I like that.

So, let’s sort HDM characters. (under the cut for lenght)

Lord Asriel: did we ever get a first name? I cannot recall ever getting one. It’s always just Asriel.

He’s described as fierce,possessing great determination and willpower, a military leader and strategist, a fellow of Jordan college.

We hear of some of his deeds, of having helped out the gyptians in parliament and  in the floods of the fen, he was a respected explorer who’d done some great work in the field of experimental theology, until he had an affair with Marissa Coultier, and in defending her and Lyra from her husband, killed him.

He’s charismatic, convincing the college members to fund his expedition and the bears keeping him captive to treat him well and continue his work.

He does not believe in rules if he thinks the rules are unjust.  He doesn’t hesitate to rebel. 

He’s ambitious, but not necessarily for himself. He is interested in building a better world, and in this he stands in defiance to the church, who wishes to keep humanity in the dark. This is a grand calling, the kind someone who believes themselves a great man would attempt.

He goes exploring because he wishes to understand the world, and through this knowledge, improve it. He certainly commits dark deeds in the name of his goals, but he isn’t doing because he thinks he oughta rule the place, he just doesn’t like who’s in charge.

He can come off as cold and unfeeling, though I think that’s him being stoic and keeping people at arm’s length, cause we do see him be emotional in several occassions. Of course, we also see him be thoughtlessly cruel.

He’s really fucking smart and will attempt brains before brawn if possible,though he isnt lacking in either,

To me, he is a ravenclaw. We know he is smart and curious, not the kind to jump into a situation blindly, but always willing to help and fight. I’d say a ravenclaw with strong gryffindors tendencies,but a ravenclaw nonetheless. 

I think he get into problems, into fights, into action, more out of circumstances that wanting to go out looking for problems, which is why he is not the protagonist, though in another world he would’ve been.

The church is afraid of him cause he asks too many questions, and he challenges their rule. Anyone who’s read history, or been to a christian school knows they do not like that. At all. 

He also reminds me of prometheus, going on a quest for something precious to share with humanity, even at great expense. 

Marissa Coultier:

Ambitious as fuck. She cares about one thing, one person, and that’s herself. She’s the kind of person willing to burn the world to keep herself safe, or even if it’s just convenient.

She has some deep dark impulses as seen in the actions of her monkey. 

I think there’s a good amount of self-loathing in her as well, she’s bought their propaganda, and  recognises herself as a sinner and hates hersef for it, wants to be pure, and tries to in her own twisted way, to help children, thinks dust is bad and wants to save them, etc.

But at the same time, she hates the church for making her feel this way.

She wasn’t allowed to indulge her love so she’ll indulge in rage instead

I think what she really wants is power, power enough to be able to be left alone and live her life.

But she’s definitely not the type to retire to a cottage and live a simple life. It’ll be power and luxury or nothing.

She’s like, the slytherinest (????) slytherin to ever live.

She could give salazar a run for his money.

 Lyra:

Lyra is brave as hell. She is always ready for a fight, about anything. And she never backs down from a challenge, regardless of how ridiculous it is. 

She runs into situations having no idea what’s happening or how to deal with it.

She’ll jump in to defend someone having no idea if theyre even worth defending. 

She’s full of fire, and someone often ends up getting burned. This also means she lacks patience. She’d rather do something now even if it means it’s the wrong thing than wait to do the right thing.

She’s also really smart, and knows it. Not only does she learn to imitate different people, she can also figure them out and manipulate them.

She’s very loyal and protective of her friends, and can be dismissive, unkind, even rude to those she doesn’t like. Or care about.

She is not the greatest judge of character, she outright dismiss female scholars and is taken in by Mrs coultier’s flash. 

Some of this are just childish traits she later grows out of, but not entirely. When we see her again in Lyra’s oxford she has for example, learned some patience. Learned the rewards of hard work and not to always jump to conclusions.

She is definitely a gryffindor. There’s some slytherin traits for sure, but she’s a gryffindor through and through.

[nightskytypes]

I was just as blind as everyone else

But then again “blind” really isnt as much of an accurate description as “skillfully decieved” would be. I heard the same things everyone else did “Rachael cheated on me. Rachael did this. I loved her and she did this to me” But one thing remains the same.

Not one person is told how you cheated on her just as much as she cheated on you. You never, not once, focus on the mistakes YOU make that lead up to the destruction of the relationship. No one knew about phynix, a fake girl you would run back to every time things went south with rachael and you. Not one person knew how you made the very bed you lay in now.

And thats the thing with you. You always will do everything possible to avoid taking responsibility for the way things end up. Its always poor you, look at what they did to you, how could they do this when you loved them so much? Why couldnt they just listen. You always do so much.

But youre just a repeat offender… yourw just a cowardly little kid who refuses to face up to the consequences of his actions.

You have not grown an inch since the day you cheated on her. You have no learned one bit. And that is accuratly displayed in what you did to me.

You lie through your teeth and purposefully avoid revealing the horribly manipulative and harmful actions you are well aware will cause damage to your significant other because it will gain you no sympathy. It will get you no pats on the back. Itll make being told you love with all your heart nothing but an empty lie. Because it’ll revile your half assed selfish nature, that you do not do all you can and have not changed in the slightest since your first relationship.

You cheated on me. You emotionally cheated. Which may be short from what you did to her, but it is an inexcuesable action nontheless. One that is in no way hard to make the choice to, idk, NOT do. And when i developed a voice on it. When i no longer allowed you to walk all over me and take your sweet time to no longer do the things you KNEW hurt me? You made me out to be an irrational bitch. You painted me out to be the one who victimizes themselves and never loved you as much as you loved me (vomit.) how *I* somehow strung YOU along. played with YOUR emotions. lied to YOU about my feelings. you made up scenarios and backed it with Google level psychology like my looking away from you trying to force my face directly in front of yours was some outrageous indication I was lying when I said I love you, and totally not because you know I cannot look someone straight in the eyes when I'm in fucking pain. for someone who refuses and makes up any excuse he can to not see a therapist you sure love to act like one to everyone else.

And its a real joke..cause i did nothing to break your heart. I didn't flirt with other people. I didn't hide dating sites behind your back or purposefully keep images of us off of sites for me to get more attention from people. I treated you well. I checked up on you round the clock, like you wanted, constantly seeing if you were okay despite knowing youd just brush it off and lie to me expecting me to continue to chase you. And I have eye witnesses. I constantly allowed you to fuck me over so you could take your time because “you need repitition to learn” and youre “trying as hard as you can”. Jeez, 2 years into the relationship and i was set on leaving my entirw life, my entire COUNTRY for you. I was willingly putting my life on hold ao your impatient ass could have me there asap. And yet I never did anything for you. I never cared enough. if I loved you I'd do anything, right?

And what do i get for it? My name dragged through the mud. Treated like nothing short of a pile of trash to be tossed out cause i no longer served a good enough purpose to you. You trying to cover up my existance with the next set of nice tits to hit your phone screen.

You play with my heart for a straight year. You fuck me over not once, not twice, but FOUR times all because you can never own up to your actions. You scream and yell and intimidate me into silence, make me fear being hit by you but never seeking help. And then take all the credit for the relationship like you were the one trying to talk things out and make it work. Its hard to talk when youve got an over compensating male shreeking at the top of his lungs like am ugly banshee how much he doent want to hear he is breaking your heart.

But alas. In a month, I will have my GED. I will then be moving on to achieving my dream goal and i will be entering into fighting classes because I will NEVER again allow a man to tell me he loves me and then run up inches away from my face as if they were gearing up to fucking fight me to scare me into silence.

The next man that believs they are big enough to lay a finger on me will recieve the business end of the floor shattering their teeth.

I would of done anything for you. I would of been there through anything had you of just had some fucking loyalty and maybe actually went to get the professional help you have needer since you were a teenager. You meant everything to me, but i was nothing more than a shiny trophy to wear on your arm till you could find the next bigger breasted one.

I will pity the next girl stupid wnough to not see that where there is smoke, there is fire.

Youre a liar. Youre a cheat. Youre a repeat offender. You are selfish and abusive. And you are nothing but a coward.

Karma is a real cunt, my good bitch. And you will find nothing but regret casting out the people who actually wanted you to become the decent human being you could be and not the pathetic troglodyte in human cloathing you are now.

Youre 24. Not 16 anymore. Its time to stop blaming the girls you fuck over for your life being the way it is and look in the mirror. You hide things because you KNOW its wrong.

Cheating is not a mistake. Its not an accident. It is intent. It is never not known how it will turn out. It is not a suprise or secret when it ruins your fucking relationship.

And although I may be the one ranting to tumblr months after, i at least can look my demons in the eyes and grow.

I at least have walked away from this dumpster fire of a relationship with a voice and sense of self worth

While you once again cover your ears and shut your eyes running into your moms arms to have her tell you they arent real. You cant even talk about me without feeling like you need to “carve out your chest” Getting rid of amazing friends all cause they took the time to really find out what was going on. (Your loss man. Theyre great.)

Guilts a hell of a feeling, isnt it my stupid, stupid love? 😙

Its what you get for always thinking with your dick and never your fucking head.

Go flood a desert with your fake ass crocodile tears. It’ll take a worlds worth of work to redeem yourself from the vile web you’ve spun. but you’re just too much of a chicken shit to put the work in for it and actually face the mess you’ve made, So you threw me and anyone else with balls to call you out on your bullshit under the bus. In fight of flight, it’s easier to run away than it is to get the fuck over yourself and actually grow. you can try and make me out to be the one crying victim. make *me* out to be the stubborn one. make me the toxic problem and reason your life was soo stressful but hunny, I ain’t a mirror. and the only one who fits those categories and has for years? Is you and your mistakes you CHOSE to repeat over. and over. knowing it would get you no where but on your ass crying to mommy about how hard it is.

[transhumanitynet]

The Future You That You Least Suspect

The other night my teenage boys asked me what was on my mind (likely looking for material to make fun of me. Just kidding, they’re thoughtful kids).

Instead of trying to “kid proof” my thoughts or rush the conversation, I wrote them this letter. First, to explain that I’m consumed by how we think about and where we look for answers to the biggest questions of our time (listed below), and second, to propose an alternative way of finding answers (hint: I found inspiration in an amoeba).

How are we going to address climate change before it creates global chaos?

What jobs will be available for my kids when they finish school? What should they study?

Over the next few decades, how will we re-train ourselves fast enough — again and again — to remain employed and useful as technology becomes more capable?

Can the human race cooperate well enough to solve our biggest problems or will the future simply overwhelm us?

Most importantly, where do we look to find answers to these questions?

Hopefully I didn’t ruin the possibility that my kids will ever again ask me what’s on my mind 🙂

##

Boys,

There is an old joke where a man is looking for his keys under a street light. Another person walks by and inquires, “Sir, are you certain you lost your keys here?”

“No” the man replies, “I lost them across the street.”

Confused, the stranger says, “Then why are you looking here?”

The man responded, “The light is much brighter here!”

Credit

This comic is as humorous as it is true. All too often, we each do this when we’re trying to solve something. It’s where our brains naturally take us first.

Our imaginations are constrained to the familiar (under the light), so we have a hard time finding answers to difficult questions and problems because the answers often lie in the unknown (or in the comic above, the darkness). Staying in the light is natural, easy, and intuitive, but this limits our discovery potential.

I. How to look in the dark?

History can give us some hints about how others found interesting things in the dark. For example, we discovered that:

the sun is the center of our planetary swarm

the earth is round

the physical world is a bunch of tiny, uncertain pieces governed by quantum physics

Before these became accepted truths, they were very difficult to imagine. This is part because they are non-obvious and also counter-intuitive to our everyday experience.

It’s also because we can’t know what is not known, which means we’re blind to what is yet to be discovered. Don’t believe me? Try to think of something you don’t already know. It’s impossible! That is, until you know it, and then it’s obvious.

Going back to the 5th question, how and where can we look today to find new unknowns (the dark) that help us solve our biggest problems? Where are today’s insights that are equivalent to the sun is the center of our planetary swarm?

I think the most exciting and consequential place to explore is not looking outside ourselves, but looking inside; in our own minds. This is where I see the most fruitful answers to the questions about your future and mine.

What if the next reality busting revolution happened to our very reality and consciousness? And if that happened, could the future of being human be entirely unrecognizable from our vantage point today? I hope so, because the answers to our challenges don’t appear under the lights we have turned on so far.

You’re probably thinking, c’mon Dad, this is crazy talk.

Well, it’s happened before.

II. Thanks Homo Erectus, We’ll Take it From Here

Our ancestor Homo erectus lived two million years ago and wasn’t equipped with our kinds of languages, abstractions, or technology. Homo erectus was possibly an inflexible learner as evidenced by the fact that they made the same axe for over 1 million years.

Imagine trying to explain to Homo erectus a complex phenomena of our modern day society, such as the stock market. You’d have to explain capitalism, economics, math, money, computers, and corporations — after extensive language training and the inevitable discussion of new axe design possibilities (of course, trying not to offend).

The supporting technological, cultural, and legal layers that enable the stock market to exist are the engines and evidence of our prosperity. It’s taken us thousands of years to develop this collective intellectual complexity. The point is, our brains are incredibly capable of evolving and adapting to new and more complicated things.

That our cognition evolved from Homo erectus demonstrates that we have radically evolved before.

III. Amoeba, You’re So Smart!

A few months ago, Japanese researchers demonstrated that an amoeba, a single-celled organism, was able to find near optimal solutions to the following question:

Given a list of cities and the distances between each pair of cities, what is the shortest possible route a salesperson could take that visits each city only once and returns to the origin city? (image credit)

This is known as the Traveling Salesman Problem (TSP), and classified as an NP-hard problem because the time needed to solve it grows exponentially as the number of cities increases.

Humans can come up with near optimal solutions using various heuristics and computers can execute algorithms to solve the problem using their processing power.

However, what’s unique is that Masashi Aono and his team demonstrated that the amoeba’s solution to the TSP is completely different than the way humans or computers have traditionally solved it.

That’s right, this amoeba is flexing on us.

(Note: it’s worth reading about the clever way they set up the experiment to allow the amoeba to solve the problem.)

This got me thinking: when we’re confronted with a problem, we use the tools at our disposal. For example, we can think, do math, or program a computer to solve it.

Professor Aono found a different tool for problem solving: a single-celled organism.

I know what you’re thinking, can the amoeba do my homework or take tests for me? It’s a good question!

Also, kudos to Aono and his team for searching in the dark — this experiment is non-obvious.

IV. Why Am I Telling You About Amoebas?

I strongly believe that we need a major cognitive revolution if we are to solve the global challenges we face. Our species evolved before and we can do it again, but we can’t wait a million years; we must accelerate this evolution.

What I’m saying is very hard to understand and imagine, because it’s in the dark. But bare with me.

The amoeba gives me hope because it didn’t evolve to solve the TSP. We augmented it with technology to accomplish something pretty amazing. Similarly, we haven’t evolved to deal with cooperating on a global scale, battle an invisible gas that warms our planet or retraining our brains every few years as AI takes over more of our work. How can we augment our own minds to allow us to take on these challenges?

Imagine a scenario where you are dressed head-to-toe in haptics (think Ready Player One) that allow you to experience and understand things by feeling changes in vibrations, temperature, and pressure.

Also imagine that you have a brain interface capable of both reading out neural activity and “writing” to your brain — meaning that certain communications can be sent directly into to your brain — the kind of stuff I’m building at Kernel.

Let’s call this a mind/body/machine interface (MBMI). It would basically wire you up to be like the amoeba in the experiment.

Now, what if you were given certain problems, such as the TSP, that your conscious and subconscious mind started working to solve? Imagine that instead of “thinking” about the problem, you just let your brain figure things out on it’s own — like riding a bike.

Would you come up with novel solutions not previously identified by any other person, computer or amoeba?

If we actually had the technology to reimagine how our brains work, over time, I bet that we’d get really good at it and be surprised with all the new things we can do and come up with. To be clear, this is not just “getting smarter” by today’s standards, this is about using our brains in entirely new ways.

Maybe that means that your school today would be in the museum of the future.

People would likely use these MBMIs to invent and discover, solve disagreements, create new art and music, learn new skills, improve themselves in surprising ways and dozens of other things we can’t imagine now.

When thinking about the possibilities, hundreds of questions come to my mind. For example, could we:

minimize many of our less desirable proclivities, individually and collectively?

become more wise as a species?

come up with original solutions to climate change and other pressing problems?

accelerate the speed someone learns (i.e. you get a new kind of PhD at age 12 versus the average of 31 today)

I wonder, is this what you will do at your job in 20 years? Would your mind change so much that it would be hard to recognize your 15 year old self?

Ultimately, for our own survival, we are in a race against time. We need to identify the problems that pose the greatest risks and respond fast enough so that we avoid a zombie apocalypse situation. The most important variable to avoid that: we need to be able to adapt fast enough.

I’m sure at this moment you’re thinking, woah, Dad, calm down!!

V. Your New Job — Being Really Weird (in a good way)

You’re right in wondering what jobs computers will take — if not all of them. They’ll do the boring things that adults do to make money, except far better and for far less money. But imagine a scenario where AI relieves you of 75% of your current day-to-day responsibilities, and is much better at doing those things than you. (I imagined what this world could look like)

A lot has been written, even movies made, about this scenario (e.g.Wall-E). If this happened, would you play fully immersive video games all day? Or live a life of pleasure and be work-free? Certainly possible, although those are linear extrapolations of what we are familiar with today — meaning that’s simply taking what we know today and mapping it into the future. The same thing as looking in the light.

What if millions or even billions of people could build careers by exploring new frontiers of reality and consciousness powered by MBMIs? These types of “weird” thought exercises may be breadcrumbs that extend the considerations we’re willing to make when thinking about our collective cognitive future.

These may be the starter tools that empower us to become Old Worldexplorers setting out for the New World, and journeying on the most exciting and consequential endeavor in human history — an expedition, inward, to discover ourselves.

Dad

  orginally posted here:

https://medium.com/future-literacy/the-future-you-that-you-least-suspect-18cf63bd0061 

The Future You That You Least Suspect was originally published on transhumanity.net

[teddy-feathers]

Saw a post "what would you say to your ten year old self?" so... Dont worry so much about being the odd kid out those people are pretty lame and hell dude youll learn this long before you can put it into words but people generally like you if you actively listen to them... But yeah they dont really get invested back. So do what YOU like always. Dont hold back, you did okay about that but theres no point feeling like you're failing. Being social ISNT essential and youre not missing out on much really because again THEYRE kinda lame dude. Like seriously theyre not interested about your books or games or dont want to geek out WITH you? Then... Whats the point? And it sucks i know but you were right all along - do you. Fuck bras, fuck caring about weight, appearance, what other people think about how you look act and like especially fuck your aunt whos going to make you doubt that. Because honestly? Image of you reflecting on the family? ISNT a fucking thing except in very specific instances and you already KNOW that. Look I'm over twice your age now and let me tell you may be i feel a bit weird when i dress uber sloppy/comfy and its the same feeling I get when I dress "fun" but ive never regreted being comfortable in what I wanted to wear. But every time I dress for someone else? For how I should dress? Completely felt like shit the whole time not worth it. Another thing you were right about. The whole "like men but not going to missout on true love or whatever if they happen to be a girl or more than one person or something" THAT yes. Also you dont like guys. Its gross sex stuff I know you dont care about right now, but I know youll want to know in about two years so I'll just say - you dont give two fucks about whats in the other persons pants, what they look like or anything. Hell youre only demiromantic let alone sexual. Hmmm that may not be helpful youre ten and like i said you wont care for two years so how about... You want strong friendships. That love. Sex. Well you know. Youll figure it out and try it out long before youre really ready to know but thats okay. Just. Dont feel bad or obligated to like people back. You just dont and thats okay. You can date friends or not date. No biggy. But that thing youre craving is friendship and youll get it. Dont settle for less though. Another thing youre right about - I'm telling you the things youre RIGHT about so hopefully you REMEMBER them instead of doubting yourself - you dont want to be the center of someones world. You dont want to be responsible for other peoples happiness and YOU DONT HAVE TO BE EVER. And you dont need or have to want anyone to fill you up either. Its totally okay to just want to be you, do your thing, and make friends. I know, i said they were lame right? They dont share your interests. They dont listen. They dont care. I know. It sucks. But dont try to please them by changing you. Dude you meet so many wonderful people who do like things you like. Just. Make friends with people you like. Yes theyre scary and your definition of cool. Its better than being the token girl, making friends with gross people youd rather avoid. News flash: boys arent cool. Girls arent evil. Asshats are asshats reguardless of gender. Again just go talk to people you like and fuck everyone else. Now the really important thing. You love to read. Keep doing that. Steal all the time and dont regret it im so proud of you for being that person. Write. Write your stories and poetry, pretend its class notes, invest in a notebook cause lose paper gets soooo messy and crumples but yeah. Keep writing. No you dont have to know spelling or grammer or anything. Write whatever you want. People who think its stupid? LAME people trust me I know so many COOL talented people now and writing? Writing is cool. And youre good at it. You dont have to share it. But dont think its cringy or stupid. Write. Its really good and... I gave up thinking like that. And now? Now Ive been writing for about a year now. 26 and i have days where every word is a struggle and it sounds bland and boring but... In a year? Ive gotten so much better and people actually like some of my shit. So you just imagine if you keep writing? By the time youre me youll actually have published if you keep going. Keep writing. Because youll have had ten plus years of experience. Lastly... Its okay to not like shit. To be angry upset bored... Yes it makes things easier to find reasons to like what youre doing even though its sucky chores or doing things you didn't want to be doing... But you can hate it. To not what to put up with it. You dont have to shove yourself into a cage and smile and pretend things are okay. Being in trouble doesnt mean your wrong or have to change. Oh hey see if you can learn that sometimes youre not the one in trouble. They are ;) Youre stong. Smart. Clever. Creative. Pretty. Tough. You're a hard worker. Yeah I know I always tried to get out of doing things but dude You - I - We've never done things by halfs. Tend to give our all. No wonder we dont want to do anything huh? Its exhausting. But we keep going. We're stubborn. And... Theres going to be a lot of shit we're going to go through but... Youre always going to make it out to the other side. Youre going to be okay I promise. ... Lying is a problem with us but thats okay. You know why lying what we're always doing? Its because they made the truth the problem for us. If you can... It'll change things and I cant promise you it'll be for the better but... Only lie to protect yourself. Tell the truth when YOU trust people, not to the people you "should" trust - never do things just because you "should" listen to your gut and do what YOU feel is okay or not. - but do try to be honest about other people to yourself and to others. Dont... Lie to protect people. Maybe thingsll get easier if you do. You know how your parents treat you like the worst combination of adult and child? That never changes. Because theyre just kids too. I know they feel like they know and experienced so much so they must be right and you must be wrong but... Theyre kids figuring it out as they go along so SURE theyre right that they fooled you into believing it. They have a good prespective to work from but so do you. Theyre never yelling about you. Its never about you. They love you but that doesnt mean your dads not an asshole. Your moms not always wrong she just gives up arguing. Theyre arguing about the fact they suck at talking to one another and that they each always have to have thier way. It has nothing to do with you. Fuck grades. Just learn what you want. Also just do everything in school and then "do home work" - that is whatever the fuck you want - at home. You DONT have to be busy doing something productive every second but sense thats how they seem to want it, just use it against them. Youre "busy" on "homework" that you already had done so just play you game read write whatever. Fuck grades though. You learn better when you stop caring about them. Dont get sucked into dads humor even if you mean it positively or as a joke. YES its awesome that some people date the same gender as them. YES some girls dont have what you think - think not know - of as girl parts in their pants. YES people cross dress. Hell do it like youre going to want to. It IS fun. But dont CARE or deride people about whats in their pants or who theyre doing what with. Oh and some people DONT want to do anything sexual with anyone. Again. Dont laugh. Because guess what? Youre one of them. Do your "dumb kid shit". Just do it. Brag about it. Laugh at anyone who gives you shit cause theyre LAME for not liking it. Trust me. Also cussing - dude youre an adult and can do what you want... Though its WAY more fun to use made up curse I promise. Snail snot. Holey socks. Fudge it all to fudgedom hall up on old fudge hill. I know. Not much of a cheat sheet and a lecture to rivial any dads ever given. But... I still dont have all the answers. And thats okay. And even if you follow all this only YOU can control and experience YOUR life. If you actually get to read this... Youll grow up into someone different. Just as different if I told you in detail what happens from then to now. People who give you road maps and tell you to avoid the pot holes... They just make you feel like shit because you SEE it coming and do it anyways. So do you. Keep some of this in mind maybe. Youll be pretty cool either way even on the days you dont feel like it. Be safe Teddy (best nickname btw just saying)

[adambstingus]

Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser

Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.

So lets give the people what they want, shall we?

They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.

PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,

Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.

Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.

Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.

Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.

Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.

MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!

Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.

THE GAME

YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.

The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.

Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!

The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.

Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?

Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.

Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?

Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.

Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.

Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.

Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?

Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*

Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?

Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.

RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.

Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.

Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)

Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?

Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.

John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.

Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.

STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work

Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.

HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.

Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.

Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.

Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.

He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.

THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED

For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.

Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.

CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”

GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?

TRUTH BOOTH

Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?

Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.

Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.

John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.

Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!

While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?

Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.

Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.

GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby

And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?

Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.

Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.

They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?

The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die

Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!

GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.

The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:

Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.

Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.

MATCHUP CEREMONY

Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.

Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?

Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.

GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.

Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.

Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?

Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.

Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.

They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.

Tyler picks Bagel.

Cam picks Tori.

All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like

Morgan picks Victoria.

Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.

Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.

Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.

Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like

RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now

Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.

Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.

This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.

They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.

Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2),a.prevBody{display:none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182227933232

[allofbeercom]

Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser

Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.

So lets give the people what they want, shall we?

They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.

PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,

Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.

Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.

Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.

Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.

Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.

MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!

Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.

THE GAME

YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.

The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.

Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!

The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.

Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?

Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.

Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?

Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.

Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.

Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.

Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?

Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*

Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?

Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.

RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.

Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.

Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)

Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?

Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.

John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.

Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.

STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work

Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.

HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.

Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.

Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.

Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.

He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.

THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED

For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.

Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.

CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”

GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?

TRUTH BOOTH

Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?

Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.

Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.

John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.

Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!

While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?

Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.

Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.

GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby

And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?

Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.

Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.

They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?

The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die

Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!

GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.

The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:

Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.

Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.

MATCHUP CEREMONY

Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.

Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?

Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.

GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.

Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.

Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?

Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.

Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.

They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.

Tyler picks Bagel.

Cam picks Tori.

All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like

Morgan picks Victoria.

Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.

Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.

Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.

Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like

RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now

Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.

Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.

This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.

They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.

Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/

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15 Important Life Skills Kids Should Be Taught By The Time Theyre 15

As parents, caregivers, and teachers, it’s only natural that we want to protect and help our children in order to make their experiences in life as painless and enjoyable as possible. Whether they’re 5 months, 5 years, or 15 years old, we want to spare our precious little people from hurt and protect them from difficulties we may have experienced at their age.

Yes, we have the very best of intentions, but when we over-parent, we leave our kids unready for the world and life as adults. If you shelter your child up until they move out into their own apartment or college dorm, they will end up bewildered out in the real world… so it is extremely important that we teach our children the skills to grow into strong, respectful, self-reliant, and successful adults.

Not sure where to start? Here are 15 life skills I taught my own son by the time he turned 15:

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1. Basic financial management

Start with the simple and very necessary skill of budgeting and making personal financial decisions. Once your child is old enough to earn an allowance, theyre old enough to begin picking up financial skills. This is a good time to teach them to wait before they buy something and to know the difference between wants and needs. Teach them to comparison shop when youre at the store or shopping online together. Teens can start learning about building credit and investing in a Roth IRA from summer jobs.

2. Wake themselves up on time

A child entering high school should be able to wake themselves up, get washed, and dressed in clean clothes — on time. I admit, I’m guilty of being my son’s alarm clock, but after several weeks of rushing breakfast and being late for his classes, I put my foot down when I realized all I was teaching him was, “I’ll always be here to wake you up, have food ready for you, and get you in class on time no matter what.” Maybe it was OK when he was 7, but 15? Let alone 18? Nope.

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3. Taking care of another life

Being responsible for a pet is a wonderful way to teach children how to respect, value, and care for another life. But before leaving a child responsible for animals such as a cat or a dog, it’s a good idea to start smaller like with a goldfish or gerbil. Younger children can begin learning this responsibility by taking care of small plants and regularly watering and re-potting when necessary. Learning to get along with and look out for siblings and friends will help your child grow in this area as well!

4. Personal communication skills

Our children currently live in a world of silent communication. Complete conversations take place over text, email, social media posts, etc., so it’s up to us to verbally engage and connect with our kids. Encourage them to practice personal communication skills with friends from school, employees at the supermarket, kids from their extracurricular activities, and others with whom they see in real life.” Teach them to effectively and respectfully articulate their thoughts and feelings and encourage them to practice painting a clear picture of what they are trying to communicate.

5. Advocate for themselves

Kids need to know that they have the right to let their voices be heard, but in the right way. Teach your child how to have a conversation with an authority figure and to advocate for themselves. For example, if they disagree with a grade received at school, encourage them to speak to their teacher respectfully and ask for clarification or a chance to make corrections. Let them know you have confidence in their abilities and offer to practice the conversation with them.

It is also critical to prepare your child to really listen to what the other person says and understand they may not get the outcome they want. This will help teach them that even though not everything in life will always go their way, they can use the information gained from this direct exchange to increase theire chances of success in the future — an important ingredient in strengthening their coping and recovery skills.

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6. Emotional awareness/intelligence

Teaching your child to understand and manage their emotions, stress, and anxiety is a very necessary skill (many adults lack this). Encouraging your child to accept her emotions including anger, sadness, disappointment, and frustration as normal, will help her respond to these feelings in a healthier, more effective and confident manner. This skill can very well prevent her from breaking down at the first sign of negative feelings because she will be empowered with the understanding that not feeling happy does not always mean there is something wrong with her and feeling sad isn’t a sign of weakness.

7. Take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions

With finger pointing and victim mentality becoming more common, it is important to help kids understand that they have the power to choose and the responsibility to own up to their own thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is just as important to teach children that they are not responsible for another person’s thoughts and actions, and how to set and maintain their personal boundaries.

8. Digital etiquette

We must teach our children internet kindness, selfie regulation, and the dangers of social over sharing and bullying. Help our kids understand that even though communication from behind a computer of smart-phone screen may feel impersonal, they must strive to treat everyone — including themselves — with respect. Respect for others results in kindness. Respect for oneself results in self-worth.

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9. Basics of cooking & doing laundry

High school age children should be able to prepare simple meals and feed themselves if necessary. Soups, pastas, omelettes, salads, and sandwiches are some examples of simple meals that can be prepared quickly. If you get hit with the flu and don’t have the strength to drag yourself out of bed, you want to know your 15 year old can make breakfast, pack his lunch, and/or make dinner (and hopefully prepare something yummy for you too)!

As for laundry, I don’t mind doing my son’s wash, but like the example above, if I’m sick in bed and he urgently needs something washed for the next day, 15 is a mighty good age to take care of that himself. Even your five year old can begin helping with the laundry by folding towels and putting their own clothes away until they’re old enough to do their own wash.

10. Pitch in

Teach your child how to contribute for the betterment of the whole — whether it’s helping a sibling with their chores when they notice they’re having a rough day or donating clothes they no longer wear to charity. This helps them get out of the “all about me” mindset and appreciate and value what they can offer to improve and strengthen causes outside of themselves. Also a great lesson in kindness and empathy!

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11. Talk to strangers

We protect our children by teaching them not to talk to strangers. However, middle school children should be taught how to discern the suspicious strangers from “normal” everyday strangers to help keep them from being fearful of all people they do not know. For example, with you close-by, allow your child to ask a worker at the grocery store where an item can be found or instruct your child to go to the restaurant counter and ask for extra napkins. This will give them a feel for the type of people they can approach with questions and in case of emergencies.

Just for the record I still stand by the rule of, “Never open the door to strangers.” That one will never change.

12. Forgive and let go

Teach kids to resolve disagreements peacefully by keeping a level head during arguments. Encourage your children to focus on the problem and not the person, to make it easier to control heated emotions.

It’s just as important to teach children to apologize when they are wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. There is no shame in asking for forgiveness and in forgiving others. In fact, apologizing and forgiving others takes courage!

And finally, children need to learn that whileforgiveness is an act of compassion, its also the key to set themselves free from pain caused by another person, and having the freedom to move forward in a more positive direction. After all, holding grudges only hurts the one holding it!

13. Show up and work

While showing up is the first step to reaching a goal, children must learn the importance of putting in the work to actually achieve the goal. Remember that unearned rewards set children up to expect a win just for showing up, resulting in entitlement.

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14. Time management

Learning how to stay organized, on task, and productive is something everyone will need. Knowing how to effectively manage your time will also help prevent unnecessary stress and anxiety while helping boost self confidence and the feeling of accomplishment. Kids need to master this early so they dont suffer the consequences as adults.

15. Identify and solve problems

Teach children that while life isnt always easy, they have the knowledge, skills, resources, and support to get them through anything. Show them that mistakes and failures are not absolute, and there is always another way to succeed as long as they keep learning, improving, and trying. When children learn to be proactive in finding a solution, it will help prevent them from falling into victim mentality and greatly increase self confidence!

For more fromCarmen Sakurai, visit her blogNinja Mom Diariesand herFacebookpage.

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