#things do not need to be black/white for u to understand that exploiting others is morally wrong...

[bioethicists]

it's quite offputting to me when ppl can't disentangle their hatred for capitalism from a hatred for... new technological innovation? the ways in which capitalism has shaped the development of certain technologies has been deeply negative, not to mention that imperialism ensures that new technology is usually produced via extractive relationships with both the planet + ppl in the global south.

but this weird tying of capitalist impact on innovation (+the idea of what is/is not innovation) to hatred of innovation itself (or even more disturbing valorization of "the good old days"/implications that technology is causing social degeneracy) is baffling to me. perhaps it is impossible to achieve specific technologies without unconscionable resource extraction practices, in which case they should not be pursued. but so many ppl act like there is something inherently morally suspect in pursuit of tech such as autonomous vehicles or AI or automation, independent of the material conditions that produced them/that they may produce.

tesla is evil because they exploit ppl for profit + participate in an economy built on the exploitation of the global south + use 'innovation' as a marketing tool to mask serious safety concerns. they're not evil bcuz they want to make vehicles that move on their own. there are actually a great deal of fantastic applications for vehicles which move on their own? equating technology with moral decay is not a radical position; you need a material analysis of why technological innovation has become characterized by harmful practices.

[sylwanin-was-right]

I know people say the humans of the RDA seem too cartoonishly evil (Quaritch's "shoot that animal over there" line gives this some merit, for example 💀), but if you know like 4 things the American government and CIA has done and kept secret from the public (then fully admitted to later), and how ruthless and exploitive capitalist oligarchs can be against the environment and people, the RDA's evils arent really that far off from reality.

Billionaires and corperations hoard wealth from the masses and are proven to exploit class power dynamics to create monopolies, exploit the poor, kill and suppress worker resistance, and fund massive psy-ops in support of their companies. Capitalism and neo-liberalism erode the morals of those who hoard and perpetually seek out capital because it takes a lack of morality to protect the needs of capital, which is why a dollar is worth more than clean water, air, and even human beings.

Companies fund hits on activists and use police power to violently suppress protests and protect assets to increase profits. CEOs of massive companies and their shareholders openly admit to knowing the environmental destruction of things like plastic and oil, yet open, saturate, and dominate markets to churn out products made from such things (including combustion engine cars and everything plastic) and expand slavery dependent business models to cut costs on production and maximize profits. Monolpolies shape whole economies and structure them to perpetuate production of destuctive, non-renewable products globally.

These neoliberal and capitalist operations of the real world are represented by the RDA's monopoly on unobitanium, a resource Earth relies upon entirely for energy because of market monopolies against alternatives. Its also shown by Earth itself becoming uninhabitable and polluted by consumerism, war, and resource disallocation, and the RDA's exploitaton of benevolent sciences, like xenoanthropology and xenobiology, to open markets for lucrative resources and help preserve the human resources against the Na'vi in diplomatic relations (Grace Augustines school, RDA biologists and lìnguists, etc). Cameron included The Cove inspired scenes of whale hunting and black market trade in AWOW as a specific example of the venture capitalist cruelty and morbidity of whaling, dolphin hunting, and other ocean industries known to cause ecological decay and destruction, which went along his theme of climate change and protecting the oceans.

As for governments, I saw one comment in the Avatar Discord asking how masses of people can be mislead about the violence and failures of such a massively expensive, resource expending project like Pandoran colonization since the visual dictionary revealed that the RDA has been endorsed/funded by several national governments, and all I could think was the blood soaked foerign policy of the U$ federal government and its CIA adjacent NGOs for the past 100 years in the global south, and the CIA's/FBI's ubiquitous and violently successful counter-revolutionary campaigns, psy-ops, and class war operations on domestic soil (like COINTELPRO, "war on drugs", & white supremacist, anti-communist propaganda).

I think its a shame Cameron's "humans vs Na'vi" oversimplified writing overshadows the very accurate portrayal of how reprehensible and morally depraved capitalists/neoliberal governments, companies, and militaries are. Its understandable that a human audience would sympathize with human colonizers trying to seek out ways to keep human life on Earth on life support. And its also understandable for humans to put their species first, since I dont think its necessarily anthropocentric to do so. But Cameron is very explicit in the films about who and what is the enemy and I dont think he means to portray non-humans as "good" and humans as "bad" and indefinitely corrupted.

Although his knowledge and commentary on colonialism, capitalism and imperialosm are very rudimentary (what can you really expect from a rich old white amerikan man lmao), Avatar opens up important conversations about such themes and challenges the audience to ultimately source the root problems on exploitive and destructive systems and ideologies, while supporting actions that would hold those who perpetuate such systems accountabile for their roles in violence and greed. The story isnt about misanthropy but about human accountability, alternatives, and rehabilitation.

Avatar isnt the only story or franchise to expose and criticize the ideologies that led the humans to unsustainable economies, mass destruction, and suppression of alternatives on Earth, and intergalactic search to keep the broken same system going. There are fare earlier and better fictional and non-fictional works exploring these pressing issues told by colonized and Indigenous people that Avatar fans should definitely seek out. Avatar is a palatable yet accessible fictional introduction on conversations many are in the dark about concerning the evils of capitalism, imperialism, and colonialism and the "cartoonishly evil" agents that perpetuate and protect it irl.

[crusty]

literally can’t understand what you’re trying to say with the exclusionist post can you reword it

YEAH, I appreciate u asking, here's the gist:

The terms exclusionist and inclusionist are another example of Tumblr/Twitter trying to put people into categories of GOOD and bad, similar to the usage of anti/proshipper.

It's impossible to put people into binary categories, the usage of "Good" vs. "Bad" never works in any given context. This is also why having a gender binary doesn't work. Humans are very complex!

Now, that being said, this statement should not inherently tell people that I am an 'exclusionist'. That leap of logic does not make sense. Nowhere are the words "Asexuals are not LBGT" (which, to my understanding, is the main signifier of an 'exclusionist) anywhere present on my page or my posts.

That's all I said!

(If you want something deeper than my surface-level thoughts, feel free to click the read-more. I appreciate you asking for clarification.)

What do I believe then, if the terms "inclusionist" and "exclusionist" are overused and continuously abused in Tumblr/Twitter discourse spheres?

It's a nuanced situation. That means both sides are fucking stupid. The notion that inclusionists are DA GOOD GUYS and exclusionists are DA BAD GUYS makes the whole discourse pointless and completely antithetical to what the ace community should be focusing on.

Asexuals are people just like the rest of us. The need to consistently belittle them and claim that they do not exist has been tiring ever since the term first became popular/known in leftist circles. Many people do not feel sexual attraction, and there should absolutely be a conversation to teach others that sex is not the end all be all for a lot of people. The topic of "Sex or No Sex" shouldn't be something people actively care about.

//CW BELOW: r slur, CSA mention, heavy subject matter//

Here is a bit of personal information I feel comfortable sharing now.

I distinctly remember feeling very ostracized as a teen. (FOR MANY REASONS, but for this point, I'm specifically on the subject of sex/sexuality.) Everyone around me was falling prey to the horror that is heterosexuality and society's expectations of sex and the exploitation of young girls.

I actively did not feel sexual attraction at an age many of my peers did. I remember arguing back and forth with my dad in 2014 that there was a small community of people online that didn't feel sexual attraction, both boys and girls, and he called me r*tarded, saying that every man wants to have sex, and every girl wants sex with men. I was mortified by what he said to me. It stuck with me long after that conversation. At this time, I already knew my dad was a sexual predator who had no problem ruining my life, so it makes sense why at first the asexual community resonated with me.

//CW end//

From the time I was 15 to about 20, I considered myself asexual to a specific degree. I was a sex-repulsed ace for many years. I remember IDing as demi as a teen, back when I was stuck in MOGAI hell, and later in my life, I focused more on the bigger LGBT labels, searching for the perfect fit.

Eventually, I grew up and realized it was no one's fucking business how I personally felt about sex and what my relationship to it was. Ace is a modifier label to me. When I realized I was a lesbian who had been ashamed of my attraction to women and nonbinary people I was literally euphoric. That was the most important thing to me. Being able to have lesbian sex was literally more healing than anything else in the fuckin world.

Sex is a really fucking personal thing, and when I hit 21 years old I stopped giving a shit about acecourse. I'm on my own now and I got bills to pay and shit to do.

Even though I personally don't think being ace makes me intrinsically LGBT, I'm smart enough to understand that most who ID as ace are also queer in some way. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

----

Now the biggest reason why I stopped associating with the worst fucking discourse-ridden community on Tumblr.

There are a group of asexuals that have been some of the most tone-deaf, obnoxious, bigoted pieces of shit I've ever seen on the internet. The push amongst this very specific portion of aces on the internet to demonize sex completely, lump the LGBT community (a community that is largely filled with people who are, you guessed it, not asexual) with cishets solely on the basis that they are 'Sex Havers' (which is... extremely weird and invasive in general), consistently harassing lesbians and leaving them out of any sort of pride posts/merch, and misusing terms like TERF (a term that should ONLY be used when talking about transmisogynistic radical feminists.... an actual fascist hate group that has caused the real deaths of real women), is not something other aces should be actively supporting, and it should not be up to your fellow LGBTs to teach you shit you should already know. ESPECIALLY if you're fucking white and your main target of harassment is against black and brown people. You got all that time to bitch about shit and somehow no time to reblog a person of colors donation post. Okay.

I'm way past the point of giving a fuck, so please, if you disagree with any of my points, gladly grow up and leave my page. I shouldn't have to hide my thoughts to please a small minority of idiots on the internet. I'm too fucking old for this and so are y'all.

[bring-it-all-down]

Capitalism & Racism in Black Sails

In order to properly understand the individual and collective responses to England’s empire in Black Sails, it is necessary to understand capitalism and its relationship to racism. What follows are my thoughts on the relationship between capitalism and racism (focusing on the late 1600s/the development of capitalist England), and how those things relate to the show. It’s a long post, but by no means is it an exhaustive analysis of either capitalism or Black Sails, so I look forward to what others have to say on the subject!

First, what is meant by “capitalism”?

Capitalism describes an economic system in which private businesses own the means of production––the materials and tools used in the production of goods. This system creates distinct classes within society: the bourgeoisie who own the corporations and the proletariat who must work at these corporations and thereby become subservient to the bourgeoisie. 

Explained in Ellen Meiksins Wood’s The Origin of Capitalism, capitalism emerged most specifically in England as a result of the agrarian feudal creation of the landlord-tenant relationship, in which the landlord rented land to the tennant, who was incentivized to produce as many goods as possible. This system led to the complete privatization of land and the creation of wage-laborers who could not produce enough goods to themselves become part of the bourgeoisie. Over time, as these wage-laborers became more numerous, society shifted from being agrarian-centered to revolving around the creation of cities to facilitate the mass production of goods.

How is capitalism tied to racism?

The spread of early capitalism throughout Europe was facilitated by improvements in technology allowing for the mass production of goods from raw materials. Capitalist countries thus turned outward in search of raw goods to power their economies. As Marx explains in Capital:

The discovery of gold and silver in America, the extirpation, enslavement and entombment in mines of the indigenous population of that continent, the beginnings of the conquest and plunder of India, and the conversion of Africa into a preserve for the commercial hunting of blackskins, are all things which characterise the dawn of the era of capitalist production. These idyllic proceedings are the chief momenta of primitive accumulation. On their heels treads the commercial war of the European nations, with the globe for a theatre (Chapter 31).

Capitalism thus rests on the idea of “primitive accumulation,” that being the initial expropriation of the individual from the land, achieved through feudalism domestically and chattel slavery internationally. Because capitalism demands the constant mass production of goods, it requires increasing volumes of raw goods––sugarcane, cotton, coffee beans, etc.––which are obtained through the extension of colonialist enterprises in order to keep parts of the world in a continuous state of underdevelopment. 

Although pre-capitalist societies had slaves, the advent of capitalism necessitated slavery on a mass scale, produced through the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, in which indigenous populations were wiped out and replaced with slave laborers. This system resulted in complete alienation of labor as white laborers in the “New World” were replaced by the early 1700s with more ‘cost-effective’ enslaved Africans who had no ties to their owners or to the land they worked. As former Trinidadian Prime Minister Eric Williams put it: 

Here, then, is the origin of Negro slavery. The reason was economic, not racial; it had to do not with the color of the laborer, but the cheapness of the labor. [The planter] would have gone to the moon, if necessary, for labor. Africa was nearer than the moon, nearer too than the more populous countries of India and China. But their turn would soon come” (14).

Racism, then, is indistinguishable from the power structures of capitalism. The desire of the bourgeoisie to increase their capital led to the creation of the slave trade in order to accumulate mass volumes of raw goods so their proletariat workers could transform them into goods to then be sold back to the workers for profit. 

This system thus creates two types of exploitation: the exploitation of the enslaved people and colonized lands, as well as the exploitation of the domestic working class. The need to keep this system in place demanded capitalist societies craft the false belief in white supremacy in order to justify the enslavement of Africans, Indians, and various Indigenous peoples in Asia and Latin America.

So, how does piracy come into the picture?

In the mid-late 1600s, England began its industrial revolution, propelling the island to increase its Atlantic trade. This desire to trade created a new merchant class, expanded the number of laborers in American colonies, and launched England into various wars with competing European powers. In Villains of All Nations: Atlantic Pirates in the Golden Age, Marcus Rediker describes the social conditions of this era thusly:

By 1716, big planters drove armies of servants and slaves as they expanded their power from their own lands to colonial and finally national legislatures. Atlantic empires mobilized labor power on a new and unprecedented scale, largely through the strategic use of violence––the violence of land seizure, of expropriating agrarian workers, of the Middle Passage, of exploitation through labor discipline, and of punishment (often in the form of death) against those who dared resist the colonial order of things. By all accounts, by 1713, the Atlantic economy had reached a new stage of maturity, stability, and profitability. The growing riches of the few depended on the growing misery of the many.

Piracy emerged from this poverty in England and in its colonies, as poor people who knew how to sail figured they had little to lose and much to gain in turning to piracy. Moreover, piracy offered an alternative to the oppressive nature of living under England’s empire. Pirate ships “limited the authority of the captain, resisted many of the practices of capitalist merchant shipping industry, and maintained a multicultural, multiracial, and multinational social order.” On these ships, pirates learned “the importance of equality…[their] core values were collectivism, anti-authoritarianism, and egalitarianism, all of which were summarized in the sentence frequently uttered by rebellious sailors: “they were one & all resolved to stand by one another.” In Marxist terms, pirates retained control over the means of production and their labor, producing a more egalitarian division of profit in which all received the same share.

The Golden Age of Piracy, then, emerged in response to England’s adoption of capitalism. Despite the threat of death, exploited workers turned to piracy out of desperation and the quest for securing immediate wealth. Although piracy was often violent, it nonetheless embodied a system of labor in stark contrast to that of capitalism, based not on unequal acquisition of goods but on the fundamental equality of human beings.

How does this capitalist context enrich our understanding of Black Sails?

England’s capitalist-driven empire provides the system under which all of our characters struggle and thus informs their every decision. The characters’ backstories we are given all pertain to their desire to either escape from capitalism or assimilate with it. As this post is quite lengthy, I won’t go into detail about every single character, only the ones who most illustrate the manner in which capitalism operates.

First, James Flint’s backstory is not simply that of a man who experienced homophobia and wants revenge for it. We learn of him that his father was a carpenter and he was raised by his grandfather in Padstow, a working-class fishing town in north Cornwall. Because of this, he was barred from receiving a formal education and likely joined the navy because it offered him the opportunity for some sort of upward mobility, though it’s clear in his interactions with his peers that they will never see him as an equal due to his lower-class status. The manner in which James’s peers treat him very likely plays a role in his decision to support Thomas’s plan for Nassau. Despite the plan still being colonialist, it did seek to undermine a key component of capitalism: the dehumanization of the working force. This dehumanization is a fundamental element of capitalism (and this empire) because if laborers believe they have inherent worth, they are more likely to challenge the bourgeoisie. Thus, James’s exile from England was not because he was gay, but because he sought to undercut the foundations of England’s wealth, a choice driven by his love for Thomas and his own relationship to capitalism.

Connected to Flint’s backstory is Billy’s, as it also involves the navy. From the mid-1600s to the early 1800s, Britain relied on the practice of impressment––forcing people to serve in the navy––to advance its colonial aims. Billy’s parents were levellers, people who opposed impressment. As punishment for this, Billy was taken as a child and forced into “press gangs” and served in the Navy for three years as a bonded laborer (the naval equivalent of debtors’ prison) until his ship was captured by Flint and he was given the opportunity to join the crew after killing his captor. Like Flint, then, Billy became a pirate as a direct result of the violence done to him by capitalist-imperialist England.

Likewise, Jack became a pirate as a consequence of English capitalist industrialization. His family had for generations owned a tailoring business, but it was driven out of business by the creation of a massive textile mill. After his father died, Jack was forced to assume responsibility for his father’s debts, which he would work off as an indentured servant at the very textile mill responsible for the debt. Jack, then, turns to piracy to escape capitalism.

To understand the backstories of Flint, Billy, and Jack, you must understand the process by which England assumed a capitalist economy and how that shift from feudalism to capitalism affected both domestic and international practices in the early 1700s. The introduction of distinct classes based on relationships to labor mandated strict inequality and the valuation of mass production at the expense of individual lives.

How does Black Sails depict the relationship between racism and capitalism?

The most obvious answer here is the show’s involvement of Madi and the Maroons, who exist solely as a result of the trans-Atlantic slave trade. Because this is already a lengthy post, I would like to set Madi aside in order to talk about Max, who I think offers a less overt critique of what Cedric Robinson calls “racial capitalism.”

Max, rather than seeking to run from capitalism, wants to become a member of the bourgeoisie. Her enslavement is, of course, the result of French colonialism in the Caribbean, but rather than recoil from civilization, her enslavement propels her to want to join it. As she tells Anne:

“When I was very small, I would sneak out of the slave quarters at night to the main house. I would stand outside the window to the parlor. I would stand amongst the heat and the bugs and the filth on my toes to see inside. Inside that house was a little girl my age… With the most beautiful skin. I watched her dance while her father played music and her mother sewed. I watched her read and eat and sing and sleep, kept safe and warm and clean by her father. My father. The things it took to make that room possible, they were awful things. But inside that room was peace. That is what home is to me” (3.3).

She reiterates this understanding of society to Marion Guthrie when she states that “progress cannot begin and suffering will not end until someone has the courage to go out into the woods and drown the damned cat” (4.07). While she recognizes the evils of civilization, she also believes that it offers comforts for the select few, and she wants to be one among the few. 

Max, indeed, is successful in assimilating into capitalist society. She works her way out of sex work until she owns most of Nassau, not once but twice. This achievement initially seems like a massive success and proof in the viability of Max’s methods, but in subtle ways, the show demonstrates that assimilation is not liberation.

Because, as Ibram X. Kendi stated, “The life of racism cannot be separated from the life of capitalism,” Max’s attempts to assimilate come with the betrayal of the rest of the enslaved people. Although she herself refuses to use slave labor, her treaty with Mrs. Guthrie, Silver, and the Maroons requires the Maroons to return escaped Black people into slavery. Moreover, she has won herself power in a system that refuses to recognize her presence, forcing her to pretend that Featherstone is the real governor of Nassau. 

Further, her assimilation into the capitalist system alienates her from other Black people. The two characters with whom she is most closely associated with are Anne and Eleanor, white women whose whiteness affords them a certain level of protection not offered to Max. She never interacts with Madi or any of Madi’s people and she therefore cannot comprehend any other path but assimilation. 

For all of Max’s efforts to learn from Eleanor and do better than Eleanor in running Nassau, she ends up in virtually the same place as Eleanor, but even more hidden. The Guthrie family still holds financial control of Nassau, Woodes Rogers still looms in the distance, and though piracy exists, it is even less acceptable. Thus, while Max is often credited as the person who most “sees life as it is,” her alienation under capitalism prevents her from seeing life “as it should be.”

Conclusion

As capitalism emerged as the dominant economic and political system beginning in the early 1700s, it came to define all aspects of global society, down to the very relationships people had with each other. It is impossible, then, to truly understand the motivations of anyone in the show without discussing their relationship to capitalism. This is by no means an exhaustive account of Black Sails’ commentary on capitalism and racism (I didn’t even mention Vane’s conversation with the Spanish soldier), but it hopefully underscores the idea that knowledge of capitalism (and therefore imperialism) is essential for fully comprehending the show.

[hereliesbitches--me]

Full name:  Toruga ( Winchester ) Nicknamed:  The Good Doctor, Father, Doc, Purple Pimp

Gender: Male Species: Demon Age: Immortal, appears to be in his late 30s, early 40s Sexuality: If its a shade of royal purple, its within that field of interest. Otherwise, he couldnt care less Nationality: Travels about, German based design. Dude is a demon imitating human design City or town of birth: The Enigma , The realm of Neikan and the Emotions Currently lives: Moves where there is work, primarily between Europe and the United States, where is assets are located Languages spoken: English, Spanish, German, Russian, Korean, Japanese, variations of the chinese dialect (fluent in Mandarin) , Hindi -- basically a workable understanding of many mainstream languages of varying countries. He’s old, he’s been around, and he is able to retain and learn easily Native language: prefers English and German Accent/diction: Speaks with refined annunciation with his English, but in a more relaxed state he has a slight German accent. Relationship Status: A widower still obsessed with his monsters and his creator but she just wont see him in such a way rip the man

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Height: 6’6 Weight: 160 pounds in human form, his dark form varies in weight Figure/build: Tall, stocky built. His muscle is primarily in his arms, legs, and chest, with a faintly noticeable gut (lowkey dad bod) Hair color: Black, peppered with grey strands Hairstyle: keeps it medium length but professional, Eye color:  A deep orange Skin/fur colour: His skin is a sandy beige complexion littered by dark discolored scars. Having tiger features, he has inverted colors with black fur and white stripes. Tattoos: Neikan’s branding is on his left inner forearm. Tends to stroke it absentmindedly  Scars/distinguishing marks: Toruga is littered by minor discolored scars all over his arms and chest, but his iconic scar is the 3 clawed slashing going down his face. Preferred style of clothing: In a button up collared shirt and black dress pants, coupled with his lap coat, He never really goes anywhere without his labcoat. He has no real sense of.. Dressing casual. If not his lab coat, he still wears a kind of trenchcoat in some way. And suspenders for a touch of extra class

HEALTH

Bad Habits: -Cant form real human connection - sees everything as object variables to dissect ,explore, and use for experimentation. - Regularly abuses the fuck out of the other negatives because they are inferior idiots - Sociopathic murderer (“for Science”). -Obsessed with Neikan, the demon who created him, and will turn on anyone in her defense, friend or foe. -Views any personal connection to a person like having a pet you're fond for, but nothing is above Neikan. -Stress smoker.

Addictions: -Sexually infatuated by the color purple, - Takes Sadistic pleasure in watching the bold break down, - Gets off on taking control and causing pain in the act of intimacy.

PERSONALITY

Personality: Toruga is a deceptive man by nature, a demon conjured up and hand made by Neikan herself, inspired by Josef Mengele which she had seen in the lives of one of her vessels. Being based on the mad doctor, Toruga himself is brilliant in the fields of genetics, biology, and the anatomy of anything he can get his hands on. Despite the basis, Toruga is simply a being that never was a child, thus has formed a persona that imitates human emotion and relations to get his way. He doesn't feel true connection, he doesn't feel empathy, sympathy, or guilt for what he does, as long as it feeds into the goal of appeasing his mistress and furthering her goals. Which makes lying and altering his persona to the liking of his associates quite easy. Toruga presents himself like a fatherly figure -- even tempered, soft but confidently spoken, and constantly utilizing praise and interest in another when he’s looking to make nice. He’s a master of manipulation and will not hesitate to research a person’s history, or gauge a weakness from conversation alone, and exploit it if it makes them more agreeable or himself more appealing.   He doesnt respond to insults or physical attacks,  not a single thing in the world bothers him, save for the failure of the negatives to complete a task, or if the insult is directed at his mistress. Or if it is impeding his work, because that would make him unappealing to Neikan. Only then will he react. And he will do so swiftly and violently to make his point known. He is not afraid of death threats, or to be beaten or dismembered or tortured, because of his inability to die (Thanks to his connection to Neikan. For as long as she lives, he can) He finds those sorts of threats mildly amusing, because he has been here for centuries, and he will continue to be well after humanity is nothing more than bones and Ash beneath their feet. His personality can swivel on a dime, but overall he is a fairly pleasant person to interact and talk with. He;s had plenty of time to master human expression.  Toruga also tends to be very physical when he shows interest, with subtle touches, unbroken eye contact, and closeness. Its simply the spider tossing the silk of his webs to capture the poor fly that has no idea the fate to come. He can be incredibly jealous and spiteful when it comes to what diverts the attention of his mistress

Strengths: Determined, Even tempered, charming personality. Incredibly intelligent and gifted with holding conversations. A great asset if you need a doctor to work on any sort of viral or bacterial bioweapon, or if ya need a guy that likes to alter and play with mortal genetics. His inability to stay permanently dead makes him quite the threat in theory, and with that demonic origin he does have supernatural strength compared to the average mortal. He has no real blood, just inky mass of dark matter that makes up his form and drips in imitation blood.

Weaknesses: Neikan. Divine weaponry and magic also hurt like a bitch and would require he directly return to neikan to get fixed up.

Fears/phobias: Failing Neikan to the point she abandons him or makes another negative to replace him.

Favourite color:

P U R P L E 

Did I say purple?  Very important to know. And any shade that compliments it.

Hobbies: - Kidnapping subjects indiscriminately based on their viability and their chance of being pursued, disfiguring them, wiping their memory, and then using them as test subjects for his viral bioweapon projects. - Making handmade clothing for his test subject children. He’s quite the skilled tailor. He especially loves dressing up his daughter before she ran away - Traveling about to meet with and work closely with assorted allies towards an end goal of toppling human society and shifting power - Taking out his anger and frustration on the negatives because they dont die - Talking to his dead husband he keeps perfectly preserved in a case down in his lab

Theme Song: - “Pet” by perfect circle - “Trust me” from the Devil’s Carnival

SKILLS

Talents/skills: - Tailoring clothing of all materials - Extensive knowledge of the medical field - skilled virologist and biochemist - Manipulative - Skillful liar

Education: Multiple lifetimes of trial and error through multiple dimensions and a variety of different levels of technology he’s explored with. Lacking any formal training, being an extension of his mistress means he also inherits the knowledge of her vessels. Coupled with his own experimentation and studied through multiple worlds.

Abilities: Being a demon made of dark matter means he’s endowed with an assortment of natural abilities, however unlike the more well known hell spawn demons, the negatives and their abilities from Neikan are typically only physical based.  Those abilities include: - Enhanced Strength and Endurance (built up after years of handling monsters, and the lack of human limitations/strains on the body) - Complete Regeneration (as long as the weapon is not enchanted or by divine means) - Minor shapeshifting, limited to his true forms. From human, to the black mass in the shape of a man, to a beastial tiger form - A photographic and auditory memory that retains just about any information he finds worthy of withholding. It also allows him to learn any language with ease after being exposed to it for a period of time

FAMILY, FRIENDS AND FOES

Personal history: Created around the time period of Pride’s((The Vessel) lifetime, 6 vessels prior to Nikki, Toruga was formed at first out of curious reasons and the need for a friend, but her intent with him became malicious shortly after her grief in the following life which split her soul into two halves. Left with nothing but malice and hatred for humanity, with the worst aspect of her being, Neikan utilized all her negativity to create a figure that would help speed up the process of ending the lives of the future vessels. Toruga was based on Josef Mengele, which Neikan had been exposed to as a child through the eyes of her second vessel, Hate. The demon was never a child, born as a perfectly capable adult to keep this young grieving woman company, it was at the start of his existence which paved the way to his obsessive love for his Creator. Toruga was her friend, her pet project that she left responsible with overseeing any of her new creations were given a job and set in order. While not active at first, Toruga observed humanity from the distance and learned the art of imitating them perfectly to blend in and manipulate what he understood. He studied their texts, he studied their culture, the array of species, their anatomies, their science and their technologies, absorbed it all until he could put it to use at the very end. Toruga is in love with his mistress, but with her fixation on her vengeance and the delicate heartbreak, she refuses to see him in such a way. Which, in turns, drives his unyielding determination to please her to make her see him. Coming to the existence of the last vessel, Nikki, things got complicated. Neikan assigned him a task to make a malleable beast that can infiltrate, a living machine to be the wolf in sheep's clothing, so when the last life became known, this being would be sent to kill it. Unfortunately for them, that bio weapon became the last life. Once inheriting Neikan and all the previous lives, any of the previous wiring he had instilled in the fetus were completely wiped away with the new presence of thought and free will -- the result, which would send Toruga on a wild chase to retrieve his experiment , all the way back to Earth. He spends years having to establish bases and connections on earth, all while scouring for his little project, taking well over 10 years before finally finding her. When he eventually does kidnap her and attempt to reset her mentally, Nikki retaliates and flees, leaving him with the iconic face scar he has now, but his project was now an unstable mess.  

Toruga is a man who juggles many projects at once. Despite a singular failure, he is always looking to make improvements, which would have eventually led to the creation of Malakaid as a failsafe to getting rid of Nikki, then immediately lost after yet another raid by Rosie and the authorities. But there is no stopping, there is always alternatives to getting what he wants. His web is vast, his determination and will unyielding. The world will fall to his mistress, one way or another. As of now, Toruga works closely with a variety of associates, primarily the Branches of Virtues because of their plentiful assets, and acts as a kind of apostle for Neikan to gain more souls willing to join their cause. His main project is a viral mutagen called the Uxoru virus, and helping work towards a modified super soldier serum made from Angel’s blood.

Parents names: Neikan Shadou (Sheila Lunarcrest)

Siblings: The other negatives, including John, Sebura, Kura, and Joku. By technicality, anyone made by Neikan is a kind of sibling.

Relationship with siblings: Toruga is the head honcho of the show, responsible for directing and punishing the others for their failures. Their stupidity and clumsiness prove to be incredibly irritating to him, and because they cant die he has no hesitation in brutally maiming and abusing them for it. They all have a bitterness, but a respectful fear towards him, and he knows it well. None of them are his equal, for he was the first, and he intends to keep it that way.

Partner/Spouse: -Vermont (Former husband, now deceased. Murdered mistakenly by Toruga himself after Vermont questioned Neikan’s intentions and plans. )

Children:

- Nikki Ai (His first experiment, artificially created and planted within a mother. She has no recollection of him as her creator, but rather this monster that hunts her down. She never came back as she was suppose to, and thus is a nuisance he needs dead)

- Malakaid (The second improvement to Nikki’s design , made from Nikki and Jacob’s dna, spliced with his own. Malakaid was stolen as a baby by Rosie and imprinted on her. Because of this, he will not go back to Toruga.)

( From his relationship with Vermont)

- Veronica Winchester (Eldest daughter, ran away at 12 years old.)

- Toby Winchester ( A young boy, still living with him. He drags him around on his work trips when he’s able to. Because he witnessed his birth parent murdered as a toddler, Toby is practically a skittish mute of a boy that fears his father but will not dare leave the way his sister did.)

Enemies:

Basically got beef with everyone bcuz he probably fucked over your loved ones at some point and just doesn't recall it. He primarily has enemies with Rosie( A very personal vendetta) and the Angel Project, the Divine Calvary, and any enemies of the Branches of Virtues. He doesn’t try to make enemies but if people are gonna try to stop him from completing his work because its “unethical” and “Inhumane” then a bitch gonna go into the cage with the rest of the subjects. But he’s a hard man to hate because as long as you are blissfully ignorant, he seems like such a pleasant man to keep company with.

Associates:

- The Branches of Virtue

- Nathair Elerdand

- Neikan and the Negatives

Affiliated verse:

Tag: :The Good Doctor (Toruga):

- Iniquitous Essence (The info above)

- Pokeverse : Toruga is a scientist of the Aether foundation , working on a secret specialized project for Lusamine, to create a world where human and pokemon are one -- as halflings. He experiments using genetic information gathered from the ultra beast data, along with splicing human dna with that of Pokemon, varying from adults to unborn fetuses. Everyone of which failed (dying in a matter of months, if born. Dying and resulting in a stillbirth. Or death induced by the Human body rejecting the intrusive genetics and triggering a shut down response) until finally there was Rosie. He studied her for the entirety of her childhood, a secret success he dare not report until certain she would not die like the rest, only to be lost in a fire (as far as he knows) aimed at silencing her rowdy father.

Much to his dismay, Toruga continues his research on human genetics, milking the foundations of its assets to feed his curiosity, with no real loylty to anyone but himself. But those skulligans are a promising bunch of nobodies to utilize for testing. He’s on the hunt to get his pet project back

[yourfaveanon]

Came here because of your post abt hector and i agree?i think the fans praise him too much for doing the bare minimum,and he needs to educate himself more abt the fashion industry and veganism. Ok he might not be perfect but some of his actions can make him come across as a hypocrite that’s why it is a problem for some of us . It’s sad people think he’s doing something revolutionary,shows you how footballers don’t use their voices for something more important . I understand just -c-

-c- bc they’re not posting anything that doesn’t entail that they don’t care abt politics or the world but it would be nice if they do say something lol . Heccy might not be doing anything much considering how the people who look up to him are mostly the ones who have the same view as he does but he tried , sometimes lol . Do you personally think it’s better if he doesn’t say anything at all like most footballers ?

this is a long, long post

yes I absolutely agree and that’s why players like hector drive me up the wall. it’s almost easier for me when they don’t post because then it’s not in my face and I don’t have to think about how shitty it is and I can just watch them like trashy reality tv and make fun of them

the thing about players “using their voices” is that it’s built on a false foundation, like oh he POSTED he TWEETED he went on TV AND SAID SOME WORDS as if that’s some mark of activism and action. I don’t have the metrics to prove this but my instinct is that whether they open their mouths or not it makes zero difference. like hector’s fans on his accounts probably aren’t going to be voting conservative anyway, and probably aren’t going to be motivated to vote because of some social media post so what is the point anyway? it’s all virtue signaling 

when “regular” people post on social media it’s because this is the biggest forum most ordinary individuals have. if u call a meeting, how many people are going to show up? you don’t have the kind of reach so yeah posting is a big deal for you personally and it might not do much but this is how people feel their feelings. footballers SHOULD NOT absolutely SHOULD NOT be held to this standard because they have SO MUCH POWER. ozil is out here posting about the muslim atrocities in china YEARS after it’s been going on as if it’s some kind of largess? my guy you are best bros with someone who will go down in history as a dictator, war criminal and probably genocidal inciter and u r gonna POST about shit on your instagram???

like there are millions of people lITERALLY SCREAMING IN THE STREETS to get people in power to listen and you could PICK UP THE PHONE and make enormous amounts of difference and ur not gonna???

the standard should be, are they inconveniencing themselves? are they actually changing the way they live their lives? or are they just talking the talk when it falls in line with that they’re doing anyway? yeah cool hector is a vegan great. his club literally put out a statement and said we don’t give a fuck about politics or the state of the world or really anything but our money thank you have a good day. where is he now? these players have SO MUCH PRIVILEGE and yeah they’re not obligated to do anything about it but we should expect them to do more just like we expect people with lots of money to DO SOMETHING. do you know why? because they BENEFIT FROM A BROKEN SYSTEM

some people may say okay players WORK HARD and DESERVE THEIR MILLIONS

but do they? they are here by the grace of god. by the grace of a society that has been built to benefit them. if they’d been born in a country where they don’t have clean drinking water? have access to vaccines? if Messi hadn’t had access to those hormone treatments or whatever for his stunted growth? if god forbid he’d been born A WOMAN. where would all his “deserved” success be? if he’d been born in a country that didn’t prize soccer? or sport? there are SO MANY FACTORS that had to fall a certain way. yes they work hard okay. bill gates worked hard sure but if antitrust laws had been effective where would he be? if he couldn’t hide his money in tax shelters do you think he’d be as “generous?” mr. I have to do the math if I'm gonna live on just 7 billion?

pogba can totally post about how slavery in Libya is bad but what did he actually do? did he use his power in any way that’s measurable? as far as I know, no. yeah he can say he’s not a slave great. he just benefits from a system where a bunch of rich old white dudes exploit him and other young black men like him but he’s getting his millions so what’s the harm right? because really making people “aware” is the solution. because all the shit in the world is because people aren’t “aware” LOL you think trump supporters don’t know? no they don’t care. Brexit voters don’t know it’ll be bad for them? lol they know they don’t care. they’d rather suffer alone then let dirty immigrants from the continent spend the money that should be going to their aristocracy 

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x02 “Gods and Monsters”

Cas gives the softest, most loving advice, full of character growth, and hello yes where’s the petition for me to adopt him as my angel dad

03:13pm

the title reminds me of Lana Del Rey’s song of the same name, and/or the cover of the song from American Horror Story, and by extension, that song has reminded me of Cas in purgatory ever since purgatory became a thing. i used to sing that song to my rat Barty, definitely up there in my favourite songs of all time

-

oh no this is a deadly duo episode

immediate dread

hrhrhhhhhhh

please don’t make me hate the song

-

03:15pm

here we go

-

03:18

michael!dean: “yyeeesss... good boy”

on the one hand, yes dean please do praise other men like that while giving them something to drink, please do that a lot

but on the other hand NOT THEIR OWN BLOOD PLEASE and it would be great if you had their consent and you weren’t possessed while doing it

in other words: yes but NO but yes

file thing under sexy things i would rather came with a different context

-

03:22

bobby: "voracity”

mmm good word

-

03:24

sam: “cas you know why you can’t come with us, right?”

cas: “my angelic presence will be sensed by michael, thereby nullifying your hopes of a sneak attack”

okay while that’s probably true, WHAT a buLLSHIT REASON TO KEEP CAS AWAY FROM DEAN BECAUSE IT’LL END UP BEING ANOTHER “I LOVE YOU PLEASE FIGHT THIS AND COME BACK TO ME” SCENE

like i know people were complaining cas was kind of useless last episode but THIS TAKES IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL

YEAH LET’S JUST DO A SNEAK ATTACK AGAINST A SUPER-POWERED ANGEL MANIAC WITHOUT THE MOST POWERFUL ALLY WE HAVE

great idea

last episode’s uselessness was kind of explainable and excusable but this one was just like “hey let’s point out exactly what we’re doing under the guise of a real reason”

-

03:28

cas: “nick is *chuckles* just a mess”

sam: “it’s not his fault”

H

WHAT

HOW DOES CAS NOT ALREADY KNOW IT’S NOT NICK’S FAULT

CAS IS MADE OF EMPATHY

WHAT

unless the squint is cas’ surprise that sam understands nick’s predicament

-

03:32

nick: “i don’t get how i could let lucifer possess me”

um.... victim blaming much

cas: “you were in a lot of pain, and lucifer saw a vulnerability, and he exploited it”

this is probably destiel tbh, given lucifer possessed cas for half a season and basically used that time to mess with dean’s feelings

-

03:35

bobby: “if they were doa, do you have an eta on tod?”

i probably watch too many murder mysteries if i knew what that meant before i even realised he was using acronyms

LIVER TEMP

-

03:38

aww but isn’t this cute?? sam gets to run a case with his mom and his kind-of-dad <3 <3 <3

FAMILY BONDING OVER DEAD BODIES

...i.e. my family yesterday

-

03:40

you know, i just realised what bothered me about sam saying “you know why you need to stay behind, right cas?”

it’s not the fact cas stays behind, because he’s clearly needed here in the bunker, and he gets his story, and he gets to do stuff, and we get to see soft caring cas. so i’m not mad.

but what bothers me is the... i guess condescension from sam? not in his voice, since jared acted just right, but in the script. the fact sam had to give a reason, and ask if cas knew why. and it could’ve just been cas saying “hey you know what, i don’t wanna screw up your mission, i’ll stay”

and maybe sam could’ve argued a little and then cas puts his foot down and say no (and maybe cas doesn’t want to see dean possessed because it’ll hurt too much)

 that would’ve read better to me

-

03:45

how the hell do they have old books on angels in the bunker library??? before angels showed up in season 4 nobody saw them for years???? and i thought there were no books on them

how does jack come up with figures like “a month” to replenish archangel grace

-

03:47

jack: “what did you have left?”

cas: “well - i had sam and dean”

the way he says that makes me smile

and i love that this season they seem to be going for a “cas knows he’s loved” thing

cas: “just basic me.... as dean would say, without all the bells and whistles”

<3 <3 <3

-

03:49

“the past... is important, but it’s not as important as where you’re going”

can cas be my dad pls

-

03:51

oh nick has muscle memory defence mechanisms leftover from lucifer

-

03:52

cas: “even though he’s departed, there may still be some of his influence within you”

i snorted... “influence”

spn conventions ruined that word

i can’t imaging misha got through that line without making dirty jokes at least 5 times

-

03:57

*crosses fingers* pLEASE LET THIS ELEGANT BROWN LADY IN THE RED DRESS NOT DIE HORRIBLY and/or be raped or something

i don’t trust a red dress, too close to a red shirt

-

04:00

micheal: “now... summon your master”

oh no is this gonna be another one of those familiar-is-a-brown-person-and-the-white-master-has-sex-with-them things

(sidenote edit after watching this episode: i feel like the deadly duo has been sliiiiightly less racist and sexist in recent episodes they’ve written? i mean a woman died this episode and a background black dude, but i wonder if they’re Trying Hard and i’m (we’re?) ignoring progress because of past mistakes. still not a fan, but... i sense something a little different here. just a bit??? mayhaps. could be wrong. time will tell.)

-

04:04

cas: “in all my thousands of years... what happened to jimmy novak.. is my greatest regret”

for reasons unknown this became my favourite cas moment this season so far

-

04:06

there’s a lot of jensen in michael’s expressions, it’s weird

-

04:08

also feeling weird about the fact michael seduced a woman to get to her male boss??

if he could track down that lady, why wouldn’t he just straight-up track down the dude instead? i mean, besides heteronormativity and establishing michael as Straight

but then again, maybe it’s a bisexual subtext

he acts like he wants the woman but actually wants the man

okay, that makes more sense, way less weird now

-

04:11

jack: “mrs kline?”

HE JUST MET HIS GRANDMOTHER

I IMMEDIATELY WANT GRANDMA & GRANDSON ADVENTURES AND BOSS BATTLES

-

04:18

i love this shot

thank u richard speight jr

-

04:21

NO DON’T TELL CAS THINGS ABOUT DEAN DYING IT WILL HURT HIM A LOT

-

you know what, at some point this season i wanna see cas bawling his eyes out and ugly crying because of dean

but then being happily reunited with him and everything is fine

(and then they kiss)

-

04:24

oooooh boy maybe nick’s friend was the murderer, that flicker in his face gave it away.........

nick’s gonna murder him isn’t he

and then trigger something and have some kind of ex-lucifer power

which is gonna cause a huge fuss but at some point is gonna be directed at michael

-

04:32

oop no, nick was maybe the murderer, and his friend saw him coming out and was trying to protect him.

fffffffffffffffffffascinating

-

well it’s over~

not a bad episode? favourite bit was cas imparting good advice, and jack being jack, and then dean talking to sam at the end

probably not an episode i’ll remember a single thing about in 2 months, besides gifsets of cas from this episode showing up in character growth compilations on my dash for the next 5 years

but a decent bridging episode between the last part of the story and the next, i think

i guess this season’s starting slow and working up to something, and it’s clearly going somewhere. i await more lady characters having episodes of their own, and fun monster of the week episodes with team free will ?? please and thank. in general they’re the best ones imo

also... i thought of this while jack was talking to his grandparents: i kind of feel like they’re trying to wrap some loose ends up, just a bit. the season-4-onwards story seems to be coming full circle with michael and lucifer, i think sam will probably end up being some sort of vessel for lucifer (?) at some point, again

but that’s a theory and there’s no telling what direction anything is gonna go in, given the track record of setting up plots and then not following through

not as bad as merlin though, nothing will ever top the lack of follow-through like merlin did. still salty so many years later

but ?? i am not disappointed by this episode so that’s good right

8.5/10 maybe

OKAY COOL

[banhchao]

💀 there r so many blogs i come across on here that fill me with violent rage, but i think the most notable for me is that gaudiest patronuses freak. they’re weird for many reasons, (pretty sure they were either antiblack or a self identified as a fujoshi, or both, or something else, can’t remember) but the last thing they said that i saw was the their fairly popular post abt how performative activism is actually good and valid because “people are at least paying some attention uwu”, during the height of the George Floyd protests, with other useless crackers agreeing in the notes of it. i hate them so fucking bad every time i see someone rb from them it’s an instant block

IN RESPONSE TO THIS POST

ASDFGHJKL this was sent months ago and I always meant to answer this but I kept forgetting lol but dw my friend, your feelings of distaste and disgust for this tumblr user is valid! Thanks for sending this in - I love hating on ppl together 💜🌙☁️💧🌱🍓

I actually know nothing about them, tho I was notified by someone that they were not a great person after reblogging from someone that followed and reblogged from them. I forget all of the details but I did look thru a call out post and it was... a lot lol. But I guess the HP ref in the URL gives enough away!

It’s so goddamn typical of yt ppl to think performative activism is good, esp in regards to BLM cause it ONLY benefits yt ppl! Like how does someone exploiting the oppression and pain of marginalized groups for “clout” and social capital and looking good helpful to the groups they claim to support?! “Influencers posting black squares and infographics they didn’t bother to read thru at least gets info out to a large audience and influences them to help” when these influencers try to talk about things they don’t fully comprehend or don’t even try on understanding and learning about and end up spreading misinformation or being hypocrites. “At least ppl are paying attention” as if anybody owes them ANYTHING when yt ppl are at fault!!! like wtf you wanna cookie for pretending u give a shit for something YOU are responsible for fixing?!?! to more ppl that will pretend to give a shit just to make themselves feel better and give themselves a pat on the back. “Oh I’m such a nice, kind, educated white person because I shared this infographic!!” They are fucking despicable - they don’t do shit for activism it’s only about what activism can do for them. In a nutshell, performative activism only works to serve and appease their white saviour complex, the brave heroes to the poor pathetic and helpless people of colour!!!

Thank you for dropping this into my inbox (months ago lol). I did end up blocking not only them but the person that reblogged their posts lol. I rlly don’t need useless whities that pretend to care about ppl’s suffering and fight for rights just to pat themselves on the back and make them look good in my proximity.

[loserchildhotpants]

I’m really intrigued what are your thoughts on stoicism ?

anon i laughed so hard when i saw this in my inbox

okay, so, i won't get into the All Of It bc i feel like i'll have to find sources and stuff and i don't have that sort of energy today but pls understand the tags on that post which i KNOW this ask in response to (lmao i am STILL laughing i cannot take this) are mostly me joking and i do actually incorporate some aspects of stoicism in my own personal philosophies bc Nuance and i live in many shades of grey, so this is not a hard and fast opinion, but it's my General Feel

that said, i grew up w a v stoic father, someone who fancies himself a modern philosopher, read some v important books in the 70's and is otherwise intellectually and emotionally bankrupt, but thinks the world of himself and of how he handles the world around him by withdrawing entirely. this influences my thoughts on stoicism a lot.

i think the constant hyper vigilance involved in stoicism, the constant practice of making ones feelings secondary leaves them v little to draw from when it comes to compassion for others.

this is not *always* the case, but i personally believe that, largely, compassion is informed by empathy for others, by one's ability to perspective-take, and that interpersonal relationships are so heavily reliant upon an exchange of varying levels of vulnerability, compassion, and genuine understanding that to practice stoicism leaves on unable to sincerely connect w another person, leaving them v much alone in themselves, and in protecting themselves w stoicism, they have harmed those around them by denying them any route to emotional connection. (this isn't to say it harms strangers, i say this mostly as a child who wanted so badly to connect w a father who was too Stoic and too dedicated to his stoicism to give me what i needed to feel loved or seen - it didn't help his marriage any, ofc, and to say he has no friends is not an exaggeration)

my understanding is that stoicism largely posits that protecting oneself against disappointment or exploitation takes precedence over all other things, but to me, the human experience is such a vast spectrum that to say one must behave one way all of the time is so narrow a scope to view the world in, it can only work so much. stoicism may help me a lot when i'm trying to deal w a clinically narcissistic parent, but not when i'm trying to be emotionally available to my husband.

to me, to apply it everywhere is to ignore the nuance of interpersonal relationships, the changing forms of oneself and others, how those things interact on a moving, constantly changing plane of reality, and frankly, i think it feeds a sort of egotism that tells the practitioner that they are The Most Important All The Time, which just isn't true, and that the mindset can breed paranoia, narcissism, egotism, isolation, and anti social behavior.

stoicism, to me, is the removal of faith in others, no matter who they are to you, no matter how they love and care, how little it would cost to practice empathy for them, that closing oneself off from oneself AND others and receiving everything through the lens of an observer of humanity is the Right Way to navigate the world. And maybe it is, wtf do i know, right? i just think it's a v Black and White way of thinking of the entire, vast spectrum of human interaction and i've suffered its ill effects, so yeah

some guy laughing himself to death over a joke that was not that funny seems like it tracks for that. like yeah, ofc u fuckin took urself outta the game by laughing hysterically, u only microdose happiness for decades and then ur body quits on u bc instead of learning to manage ur emotions and expectations for ur entire adulthood, u decided to shut out ALL emotion and just hope for the best ?? so like yeah die laughing at that donkey i guess

[seashellsoldier]

This Is How They Tell Me The World Ends

“They say the first step in solving a problem is recognizing there is one. This book is my own ‘left of boom’ [military lingo for getting to the bomb-maker before a bomb is made] effort. It is the story of our vast digital vulnerability, of how and why it exists, of the governments that have exploited and enabled it and the rising stakes for all of us.  While this story may be familiar to some, I suspect it is one few are aware of, and even fewer truly understand. But it is our ignorance of these issues that has become our greatest vulnerability of all. Governments count on it. They’ve relied on classification requirements and front companies and the technical nature of the issues involved to conceal and confuse one stubborn fact: The very institutions charged with keeping us safe have opted, time and time again, to leave us more vulnerable. My hope is that this book may serve as a wake-up call, to encourage the awareness necessary to solve what may be the most complex puzzle of our digital age.” (p. 440)

Dr. Shoshana Zuboff wrote The Age of Surveillance Capitalism in 2019. Perlroth’s book could be a potent addendum to that work as infosec experts glean greater and greater info into the espionage, PSYOPS, and combat taking place within the circuitry of the world. Take in mind that most of this is seriously under-the-radar and classified stuff, which leans easily into some right-wing demographics saying such information is baseless “conspiracies”. (Perlroth does have a link to her thorough bibliography, and a solid 100 pages of endnotes in my e-copy to leave the mouth-breathers clutching their anonymous Parler handles and berating the New York Times because that is what their media moguls’ puppeteers do.) I’ve been apart of at least three large hacks (that I know of) and have three organizations trying to watch my back as all that info has been cast into the murk of the dark web. NetGalley got hacked just last week. The facts are there for those who have been paying attention, and Perlroth was elbowed into this niche facet of journalism, learning so much over the last 10 years, and summarizes the evolution of cyberwarfare well enough here—and it’s horrifying.

“By the time the NSA’s exploits boomeranged back on American towns, cities, hospitals, and universities, there was no one to guide Americans over the threshold, to advise them, or even to tell them that this was the threshold they would be crossing.

For decades the United States had conducted cyberwarfare in stealth, without any meaningful consideration for what might happen when those same attacks, zero-day exploits, and surveillance capabilities circled back on us. And in the decade after Stuxnet, invisible armies had lined up at our gates; many had seeped inside our machines, our political process, and our grid already, waiting for their own impetus to pull the trigger. For all the internet’s promise of efficiency and social connectivity, it was now a ticking time bomb” (p. 391).

Basically, we’re screwed. Everyone. Offense is far more powerful and better-funded than defense; governments around the world have partnered with any hacker they can to suit their needs and push their agendas; freelancers, mercenaries, fringe companies, and anarchists run wild on the web; every device is completely hackable; every company on Earth has been probed or infiltrated; the tech companies only care about their profit-margins; and, most elected officials only care about their stock portfolios. One carefully exploited “zero-day” could cripple any country, as we’ve already seen with Iran, Ukraine, Estonia, and Georgia. The use of tech can suppress a citizenry, as we know well with China and so many despotic nations. The internet can be easily exploited to sway millions of people and polarize a populace with distrust, disinformation, and propaganda, often leading to upheaval and mob violence, as we’ve seen in India, Ukraine, Britain, Myanmar, and the United States of Hypocrisy. Greed overrules morality. Power supersedes democracy. It’s only a matter of time before things get exponentially worse.

Zero-day weapon markets, Stuxnet, fuzz farms, the Patriot Act and the Pentagon’s Total Information Awareness (TIA) project, Snowden, Aurora, Heartbleed, NotPetya, WikiLeaks, Crowdfence, WannaCry . . . the list goes on.

In July of 2017, the Wolf Creek nuclear power plant in Burlington, Kansas, was hacked by Russia using a modified Stuxnet cyber-attack (https://www.wired.com/story/hack-brief-us-nuclear-power-breach/). Hell, even monolithic Google and the wealthiest man in the world, Bezos’s personal phone, were hacked. Perlroth visits several “hacking conventions” and deftly illustrates how kids can break into any device, any system, in a matter of minutes, performing on a stage for the audience, which no-doubt includes lots of federal recruiters salivating at the possibilities. But it’s not just federal organizations. It is nation-states and corporations, “white hats” and “grey hats” and “black hats”, all vying for the talent to add more soldiers to the battlefield of the code for their personal desires. The new battlefield is fought from comfy chairs far, far away.

As she learned how easy it was to access her personal information after the Aurora hack: I changed every password to every account I ever had to absurdly long song lyrics and movie quotes and switched on 2FA [two-factor authentication]. I didn’t trust password managers. Most had been hacked. Even companies that bothered to scramble, or ‘hash’, users’ passwords were no match for hackers’ ‘rainbow tables’—databases of hash values for nearly every alphanumeric character combination, up to a certain length. Dear reader, use long passwords” (pp. 248-9). I feel such things are band-aids over bullet wounds, but doing something is better than nothing.

NPR’s Terry Gross interviewed the author for Fresh Air: https://www.npr.org/2021/02/10/966254916/u-s-cyber-weapons-were-leaked-and-are-now-being-used-against-us-reporter-says

. . . and Jill Lepore of The New Yorker did a nice review of this book: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/02/08/the-next-cyberattack-is-already-under-way

“The arrogant recklessness of the people who have been buying and selling the vulnerability of the rest of us is not just part of an intelligence-agency game; it has been the ethos of Wall Street and Silicon Valley for decades. Move fast and break things; the money will trickle down; click, click, click, click, buy, buy, buy, like, like, like, like, expose, expose, expose. Perlroth likes a piece of graffiti she once saw: ‘Move slowly and fix your shit.’ Lock down the code, she’s saying. Bar the door. This raises the question of the horse’s whereabouts relative to the barn. If you listen, you can hear the thunder of hooves.”

Lock down the code. I hired on to federal service in 2014, and then the OPM breach was realized. Most federal systems have been breached, just as much as the US has breached so many foreign systems. This is the new war zone, and there are no long-term winners here, unless we philosophize about who might be standing atop the ruins when it’s all over. In 2018, the RAND Corporation complied the most comprehensive report on cyber risk to date. The report is here (https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RR2299.html) and has a summary of: “The resulting values are highly sensitive to input parameters; for instance, the global cost of cyber crime has direct gross domestic product (GDP) costs of $275 billion to $6.6 trillion and total GDP costs (direct plus systemic) of $799 billion to $22.5 trillion (1.1 to 32.4 percent of GDP).”

I doubt the literal “code” can ever be truly watertight. Reading this book grants huge respect for those responsible for coding well. It is no-doubt a terribly tough job. The best bet is to unplug everything, but our Pavlovian addiction to our tech toys is unbreakable at this point, and the “Internet of Everything” will inevitably make the whole world worse, unless the powers-that-be can lock down the f-ing code. Otherwise, I fear it will take nothing short of a calamitous “accident” to show us we don’t need such things after all. (Would an exploding nuclear plant in Kansas really change peoples’ minds here? History says “no”.) Remember the Tampa water-system hack of just 3 weeks ago from this writing? (https://www.npr.org/2021/02/09/965791252/fbi-called-in-after-hacker-tries-to-poison-tampa-area-citys-water-with-lye) Buckle up, because those “invisible armies” lined up at our gates are only getting started, and while Russia is a meddling anarchist sowing confusion and division and getting its tentacles coiled around our infrastructure, China is a voraciously hungry juggernaut vacuuming up everything it possibly can (https://www.npr.org/2021/02/24/969532277/china-wants-your-data-and-may-already-have-it), while so many other countries (North Korea, Iran, Saudi Arabia, the Emirates) and so many companies, shell-fronts, criminal groups, and lone-wolf anarchists have their own agendas.

“Digital vulnerabilities that affect one affect us all. The barrier between the physical and digital worlds is wearing thin. ‘Everything can be intercepted’ is right, and most everything important already has—our personal data, our intellectual property, our chemical factories, our nuclear plants, even our own cyber weapons. Our infrastructure is now virtualized, and only becoming more so as the pandemic thrusts us online with a scope and speed we could never have imagined only weeks ago. As a result our attack surface, and the potential for sabotage, has never been greater” (p. 439).

It all raises the very question she writes on page 46: “How does anyone sleep at night?”

She does offer better bandages in the Epilogue. Scandinavia and Japan are paragon examples of nations doing the best they can. (What is with Scandinavia being so damn close to perfection in so many ways?) “We will never build resilience to cyberattacks—or foreign disinformation campaigns, for that matter—without good policy and nationwide awareness of cyber threats. We should make cybersecurity and media literacy a core part of American curriculum” (p. 449). I couldn’t agree more. The PATCH Act (Protecting our Ability to Counter Hacking Act) is also a promising start, but the proverbial Pandora’s Box has been smashed. I doubt a genuine digital Geneva Convention will ever happen, but we can certainly fortify the walls, hold transparency and accountability as tenets, and expect governments and corporations to do their utmost to protect the digital Commons.

[misterbitches]

Im not intelligent at all. In the conventional sense. The ramblings of a girl who just has sooo much going in in her head it's constant. But im not a genius. Or that confusing.

It just sounds like I am bc fandoms have this issue where they can JUSTSO point out the issues in soletiing. They can pick and prod and go oh problematic! But then you go to name the problems and the difficulties within society like for ex: the idea of representation in general. Salivating over it. How fucking sad that is. How we are trained to accept it. So in a BL and also RACE in the bl genre they exploit viewers naivete both domestically and internationally. Ive seen tons of people liken being asian to being a person of color. However, in their predominantly homogenous society (or intentionally publically homogenous society), they are not "poc" (also name the of color; i dont use bipoc idc if u do but it's called being asian guys cos yall aint talkin about black ppl lmao)

They as humans seeing other humans who look like them everywhere, engage with the world differently than an american in asia or asians living outside of their home country (like bae doo nanwhen she worksnin the US is not the same as the bae doo nanworking on a korean program) I dont complain about it in everything i see bc ppl say it ALL THE TIME. but it is NOT the same. Being a person of color is very distinctly an american concept. This is all stuff people will get to know on their own if they choose to dig more.

I do my best to underline what my ugly little eyes process. How i figure things out as a black female american artist too! Im hard on shit cos i should be. I take it seriously. And even if i dont take it seriously bc THEY dont then thats their problem.

I know this is a complaint that I am not alone in. I know it's the internet. I just don't get how people can write really heavy analysis but they refuse to actually probe the underlying issues. Not everyone is me, or like my friends, but if there's way fewer people talking about this stuff it seems absolutely glaring when theres few people engaging in the way i do. It seems like im the glitch but I am thinking just as much just differently.

I really loved where your eyes linger but there was little deep class analysis. I remember few convos a bout it. I know a lot about korea (sigh being a black ex kpop fan lol mess) and i love the history but all ofnit matters! Korea's relation to labor!

People bringing up thai actors snd actresses leaving the industry and doing acting as something quick. As an artist~ who went to film school with insanely wealthy ppl and isnin tons of debt you have to understand how shitty that is. People have monetary access and they just fucking do whatever just because they want to. Meanwhile you have young people being coerced into this bullshit mainstream life to LITERALY just make money bc they dont come from a rich background. The wealth gap in thailand is BAD, theres a dictatorship, they had a fucking coup. The governments like here do not respect their people. Their marginalized groups. Trans thai women, black thai ppl, poor thai ppl. And it LITERALLY CANNOT DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVELY IN CAPITALISM. No nothing can be perfect but if it's going into our eyeballs and we can view the worlld critically then why the fuck not!???

I dont say the things i see are wrong always. I reply when i think i need to. I try and engage with others but not to kuch avail. I just want to rb stuff and tdhink lajfhhdjwhjej.

But like yea theres a lot of just wrong or misguided stuff. A lot of the times it is just historical inaccuracy in framing or idk. A refusal to think outside the box. I dont care. Theres more to life than just sort of looking and not thinking especially for othrr artists.

Idk im sorry. I dont see how i can change how i view things. I really wish people would expand their palettes too and go deeper into other means of art from places! Things not in the mainstream! Theres a lot of good thai artists and a lot of them critical as fuck about their country as they should be. Authority, austerity, patriarchy, capital, racism etc like that is central to a power thats interested in growing gains and fiscal and social power. Theres rly radical or left leaning etc ppl out there in the world and these countries in these communities. So they exist. No people in these countries dont have NO clue whats going on. Cultural relativism is alsos something people should understand. I had a good talk with ppl on here a while ago about that. Talking about shit, critiquing, but being respectful to a group. Part of thay is realizing these groups CLEARLY know their own issues and all our cultures share the same goal. Guess what it is. It rhymes with acquiring wealth. Money means you hurt people. In the post, we talked about use of "wife" and "husband" which is a stupid joke that has been "explained" a billion times and yet the explanations still dont seem to answer or justify a minor problem (it's very funny to me that a language that doesnt have gendered pronouns is now very specific about two men. Hmmm wonder why. It is annoying.)

So im not the only person on the planet doing this. Or the few ppl ive seen that do. Im not new my thoughts arent new. Ive gotten to see another side to a culture i knew not much about and that means i can put the context of my beliefs and life and try and understand thheirs. For ex i learned from ITSAY because of a sign that said 'french food' that they were the only country to not be colonized back then. Do you know how integral that history is to their region? That was an interesting detail (i didnt finish itsay bc ihad a lot going on and i was rly upset that i would see hownrich they are and i hate that.)

Anyways thats my complaint. It used to feel like a sting of rejection. I left online for months in 2019, i started organizing more, joined a union, trying to do some panther work shit like that. I learned a lot in those months and it changed my life! But when I came back, I felt so isolated. It wasnt my true friends tho sometimes theyre ANNOYINGGGGG (love u) but it was me being like "if we are going to complain guys then lets put our money where our mouth is" lets be fucking serious about it then. No say it with your chest dude. It isnt difficult. Go with the fucking flow, talk about it, critique it, think. You can still fucking like itnor love it.

I am BLACK ok and i love rap. I am a black woman. I will continue to clown black men that cant seem to not clown themselves and listen. No i wont support monetarily: drake is a creep and i hate him but i bump that niggas song. Thats fucking LIFE. I got so sick of hiding myself and it became clear that it wasnt that i wasntthinking well or hard enough. They just didnt like that i said we need to commit class suicide and inspect out middle class sensibilities and middle class wealth hoarding (google it) if thats what we engaged with. Every part of you, antagonize it. I still have my privileges; class, skin color, even my father being a nigerian immigrant, me being cis, im not str8 but not a lesbian and those are differences.

Insecurities in general but some shallow thoughts (?) on discussion in "fandom" space. FYI, this will most likely stay the same. I tend to stay in my own bubble socially IE me and my friends are similar in our views. During this awful year while running my union's account, im surrounded by like minds. Me and my friends? We changed together. We grew up and saw what we didnt like and what we want. We do our best.And i CHOOSE my life to be that way bc it should be. There is no solution. I dont believe in solutions because the solution is to abolish capital or just divest. Abolishing capital and labor are a huge one and i will die before that happens (but so help me as long as im alive? Black women to FREEDOMMMM is my motto!) so making your own path in life is the best thing an artist can do IN MY OPINION.

However with technology and stuff this puts another layer onto things. Tech, social media, this shit....it THRIIIIIIIVESSSSSSS off of conflict and shallow readings of the world. We are literally primed for it. Engagement in bites. Impossible for me with my brain; i got used to it and i paid for it by limiting my scope. Not being encouraged to THINK AND READ before just speaking

(For ex i am in iww, i helped form a branch here. It is a radical union. Unionism is imprative to me-if ur interested u should read up on some. Look up peter cole! Google inthesetimes Ilwu. Gives you some understanding. Ive always been progressive and now i am....very left idk ic ant label myself. But even in my progrssiveness i had the gall to tell my white friend, whoa has her privileges but i had mine with our class disparity, that we dont need unions, i have WORKED retail. Ive done barista work for sonoing and i do gig work. So i wasnt out of touch. I had been stiffed even with a shoot i was working on by rich kids. So i had a frame of reference . But i didnt know what the FUCKa union was and why it is imperative. Then learning about anarcho syndicalism and all these other things. It changed my fucking life but two years earlier i was this idiot spouting shit like that making one of my best friends fucking upset. We DO AND CAN CHANGE. Think!!!!)

So were i a creator for tv id just constantly try and push the buttons if i need big money. Make them sell into me (thank you sonic youth!) theres Endless possibilities guys which means theres SO MUCH TK EXPLORE!!!! When i wanna have fun with it i just have fun. When i want to think i do. I dont understand why we are so dedicated to upholding things and doing mental gymnastics to end up in a space you dont need mental gymnastics for. What about these critiques makes you uncomfortable? Saying we're all part of the problem as spectators? Im sorry but we will always be. Thats LIFE. God fuck. Fuck me. I feel so fucking worthless and stupid sometimes. I know I am not. I know i am talented and intelligent. I know my friends and family. I know how to approach ppl. I know how to tell people if they are rich but want to be progressive whatsup. I choose how i live part of that is being ok to say what i want.

Ironically consrrvatives say this shit alot. But they arent ever alone bc their ideology is default. But yea it does feel shitty. It even feels shitty when ur in left circles but people STILL dont even wanna do that. These perspectives really arent ss many as they should be. I dont want to feel so alone with it. I know there are more. I just love art and the world so fucking much, endless possibility. Endless pain but endless good.

[duncaninla]

This blog is out of sequence.

1. I want to write about The Little Dog.  Perhaps that’s all I’ll write about today.

Anyone who met me this past decade… will have met The Little Dog.  A slim, muscular, tan and white Jack Russell/chihuahua mix formerly known as Ziggy.  You’ll remember how he is: inquisitive and grumpy in equal measure.  You’ll remember the heart-shaped patch above his tail.

I found him on an unseasonably hot Californian Sunday morning at the Palisades farmer’s market after my 7.30am AA stag meeting.  He was forlornly caged with a collection of yappy dogs and puppies, all up for adoption.  He wanted to bite me the moment I met him and I could tell by the look in his eye that he trusted no one.  He was my kind of dog.   I was warned not to take him, he had been adopted twice before and ended up being returned to the shelter.  I took him anyway and we battled each other for the next two weeks until he realized he had run out of options.  He put up quite a fight.  He ran away and hid under the house for three days, he pooed on the carpet, he peed over everything.  He stared at me growling for hours then without warning, when he felt like it he would jump up beside me, his whole body pressed against mine, quivering with anticipation… but he still wouldn’t let me touch him.

The Little Dog is 12 years old.  Perhaps he isn’t Jack Russell old (they can live until they are 19) but he’s maybe older than I was told when I got him.   He has travelled all over the world.  Travelled to London with Jake on that ill feted trip, driven the French Riviera.  He has run off leash in Battersea Park, Central Park and the Jardins des Tuileries.  I was not the best or most responsible owner, I let him off whenever I could, wherever I could.   He has wandered in awe around the redwoods in Northern California, he has swum in the sea in Provincetown and the Mattole River.  He rolled around snowy Whitstable beaches.  He chased coyote with The Big Dog in Malibu, he dug holes in the sand on their private Malibu beaches and slumped into them… he enjoyed the love, lifestyle and freedom most dogs could only dream about.

There were times he paid for his independence: he was bitten by a clever coyote late one night as he was peeing in Malibu.  That night I broke my ankle trying to defend him and Robby had to call the vet and the hospital and generally do what he did best.   There was the time I left him with Jennifer and he went exploring.  The Little Dog limped home with a paw as big as my fist because a rattle snake bit him.  I rushed back to the Malibu vet from Long Beach in my F150 and there he was in his cage looking very sorry for himself.  But after everything… he survived another day.

As I sat in the LA county jail this Little Dog’s safety was the only thing I really worried or cared about.  Jason looked after him as I languished down town and given the opportunity I whistled down the phone so The Little Dog might hear I was not dead or gone or had deliberately abandoned him.  When I returned after 3 months he looked at me askance.  I could see him thinking, ‘I moved on from you.  I thought you were dead’.

Last week The Little Dog began to show all the signs of facial nerve paresis.  FNP is a dysfunction of the seventh cranial nerve, the facial nerve. This condition is evidenced by paralysis or weakness of the muscles of the ears, eyelids, lips, and nostrils.  The cause of this disease is impairment of the facial nerve, or of the place where the nerves come together, and it affects the electrical impulses of the nerves involved. Sometimes the ophthalmic system is affected as well, interfering with the function of the tear glands.   Most often these symptoms are evidence of brain cancer.

His droopy face, like he had a stroke, his wobbling gait.  It was very distressing.  I spoke to every American vet I knew had treated him and they prepared me for the worst.  The long weekend in France meant I couldn’t get to a vet until last Tuesday which turned into Wednesday.  Each day his symptoms got worse.  He sneezed  and fell over.  He cocked his leg and fell over.  He drools and his left eye looks dead.  He was lethargic and miserable.

Finally, I took him to the veterinary hospital near Annecy and a wonderful vet called Dr. Gay.  She scanned his brian and found no cancer.   No infection.  Nothing.  They suggested a head trauma he sustained in Toronto at the nail clippers might be the reason for his condition.  Or… a violent pull on the leash.  They told me it would take three months or so for him to get better, or maybe he would never look like he used to.  They told me to massage his face, irrigate his eye, and clean food remnants from his gums.

My friend Donna very kindly took care of the vet bills.  It’s amazing just how kind people can be when there is a sick animal who needs immediate assistance.

The Little Dog no longer jumps up onto the bed and waits to be lifted, he is uncharacteristically fearful, he defers to Dude acknowledging his frailty.  The change in his personality is most disturbing.  I didn’t mind his change of physical circumstance but I really miss his exuberance, his tenacity… I miss my little dog.  Even though he lays peacefully beside me.

2.

Homeland Security visiting my house in Tivoli was the final straw.  They demanded my papers.  They didn’t have a warrant so I didn’t let them in.  I knew when they returned they would have what they needed to take me away.  It was time to leave the USA.  I had months ago transferred my property into a LLC, I signed a power of attorney.  I packed a bag, I organized the dogs with their appropriate travelling papers and I called my sister in Toronto.  Many rallied, they knew it was a dire situation.  I had lived on the outside of American society for a long time and the pressure was getting to me.

We heard they were picking up illegals on the subway.  They were racially profiling.  They were demanding papers.  I didn’t know if it was fake news or not.  I didn’t want to find out.  I took an Uber.

The Trump presidency unleashed a wave of domestic fear and terror.  Those who feel it most keenly: Americans who voted Clinton, black Americans and specifically aliens living in the USA illegally.  However, it needs stating: Americans, both Democrats and Republicans, are used to unleashing terror on others all over the globe, naively unaware they were just as vulnerable at home.  How many military coups has the U.S. directly aided… in direct contravention to U.S. law, if not orchestrated?   Under freedom-loving Obama, there were at least three — in Honduras, Egypt and The Maldives, all against elected governments.

The media screams impeach, the Democrats run from pillar to post like a plague of mice looking for safety.  One day FBI Comey is their enemy and the very next day… their best friend.   The most absurd argument, the most convoluted Democratic explanation for Hillary’s spectacular loss?  Hillary won the popular vote but the Russians lost her the election.  At no time do the these self-righteous Democrats ever take time to understand their part in this devastating turn of events.  Trump is the most american of americans, he is greedy, vindictive and narcissistic, he is the very essence of almost every american… perfectly distilled, taking his rightful place as their president.  And why will there be no impeachment?  Because that would require congress be interested in the rule of law.

As President Trump becomes more isolated and embattled, so he will become more extreme.  His friends will be the worst of them, those already isolated by public opinion and the liberal elite.  No one wants to work with this president, his staff and sphere of influence shrinks daily.  He is often described as a south american despot.  Yet, if he were deposed, impeached or crudely removed from office there will be unimaginable violence unleashed upon the USA, a civil war one hundred years in the brewing.   The liberal elite think if this happens their safety will be assured, but those to whome they entrust their safety are the very men and women who put Trump in power and watch with continuing glee as he strangles the establishment.

From the foothills of the French alps I look back at my time in the USA asking myself: why did I stay so long?  Holding onto a dream that things could be different… if only I held on a little tighter.

I knew if I left the USA I would be banned for a decade.  The U visa I had been promised when I sued LA County had not materialized.  Dark forces needed to be addressed.  I know how Americans exploit the weak.  An ‘opportunity’ in the USA is merely code for a vulnerability.  As millions became vulnerable after the 2008 crash so the rich luxuriated in taking whatever they wanted at bargain basement prices.

Unwilling to be subject to removal proceedings and the prospect of rotting in a private jail reserved for illegals I began my retreat.  I stayed for a week on a beautiful farm overlooking the Catskills.  Well equipped, comfortable but excruciatingly lonely.  I visited my Tivoli house a few times but only to pack a bag and oversee a renovation I knew I would never enjoy.

People said, your opinions on that blog will get you into trouble.

As I left the USA I felt a huge weight lift off of me.  Anyone who escaped tyranny and oppression will relate to this.  Americans don’t care who leaves the country, they only care who comes in.  The Niagara Falls border has a concrete conduit along which one leaves.  As we exited that fascist gutter I began to quake.  I could feel freedom opening up before me.  An unexplained joy… a joy I hadn’t felt even as I left the LA County Jail.

I came to understand the day I left LA County I merely exchanged one jail… for another.

I’ll write more these coming days about my flight, the day the police raided my house and the long-term implications.

3.

3 weeks ago Mary and I walked the dogs through the ancient royal hunting grounds that wraps around Paris, near Sevres.   The view over the city: just as I wanted it to be.   The Little Dog was curious and nimble, Dude’s back legs gave him problems but he keeps up valiantly.  Mary knows every house in Sevres, the history and occupant of each.  At the end of her street there is a huge verdigris statue of Leon Gambetta.   He died here.  He had one eye, like my father.

My father.  My father was the focus of so much last week and the week before that.

I arrived in Paris early Sunday morning from Toronto where I had been staying with my sister, Natalie.  We met for the first time last week.  How many different feelings one has when one meets ones long-lost siblings.  I stayed at her house for 10 days.  She was kind and helpful.  I met her daughters and fell in love with my niece Kathleen, Natalie’s eldest who has a marvelous boyfriend with a superb art collection.

When we were on our own in my sister’s car we talked a lot about my father.  Her relationship with him.  How disappointing, violent and cruel he was.  Like his other wives, Natalie’s mother ran away from her abusive husband.  She secretly had passports made, she found money for flights to Canada and when she landed changed her identity and the identity of her children.  She abandoned a relationship with her own parents to save her kids from being abused by my father.   As teenagers she finally told them the truth about our dad.  Despite protests and dire warnings both Natalie and her brother Mickey wanted to meet him.

They didn’t have to wait long, our cousin Keyvan always searching for family members chanced upon Mickey who had reverted to his birth name of Khazaei.

When Natalie and Mickey contacted my father he was overjoyed, Natalie had always been his favorite he said. Natalie and Mickey travelled to Europe to meet him.  Our father pretty much ignored Mickey and overwhelmed Natalie with gifts.  When they were on their own he asked Natalie to choose between her mother and him.  He offered her a luxurious life, endless travel and shopping… on the condition she never saw her mother again.

Natalie’s mother had bravely escaped the prison my father called a marriage.  Of course, Natalie said no… she wouldn’t make any such choice.  This infuriated my father.  They were staying in a hotel in the South of France.  He became violently rageful and smashed every piece of furniture in his hotel room.  He had the mother of all tantrums because his daughter said no.  Natalie told him she was leaving and never saw him again.  She confirmed what I had heard from others but it was still very difficult to hear.  Why is it so difficult?  Because I feel as if he is in me.  The dark soul.  The complication.  The anger.

As my father lay dying he wanted to punish his children for not dying.  Thankfully he was too weak to beat them.  Days from his death of pancreatic cancer my sister Rebecca refused to do his bidding, as she left the hospital room he tried to throw something at her but was too weak, she looked into his pathetic face and smiled.  He could no longer punish her when she dissented.

Enough.  It was hard to look at my sister eye to eye because of him.  I felt embarrassed by him.  Like I was him.  She is a strong and beautiful woman.  She had a wide smile and long black hair.  When we talked about him (our father) it was easy to ask a million questions but I often didn’t want to hear or acknowledge the answers.

My father’s story is part myth and part psychological horror.  Kuros Khazaei existed in a netherworld of violent gangsters and naive girls.  He opened clubs, coffee bars and shopping malls.  He sold fake antiques to Saudi princes… he wore beautiful clothes and drove expensive cars.  If he hadn’t been so utterly vile his story would be worth repeating.  If he hadn’t been Persian he would be as famous as the Kray twins.   At the end he could not lift his gold lighter to throw at his youngest daughter in a final act of violence against the children he claimed to love.

  Tivoli to Mont Blanc 2017 This blog is out of sequence. 1. I want to write about The Little Dog.  Perhaps that's all I'll write about today.

[beingmad2017-blog]

Coaching Enhancing Game Performance Without difficulty With Effective Intellectual

New Post has been published on https://beingmad.org/coaching-enhancing-game-performance-without-difficulty-with-effective-intellectual/

Coaching Enhancing Game Performance Without difficulty With Effective Intellectual

Each extremely good performer has a Performance teach whether or not their Recreation is extremely physical, tactical, a collection activity, or person. No elite performer is a fulfillment within the contemporary worldwide without tapping making use of the huge benefits that Training techniques deliver. Psychological Coaching is the primary manner in which sportsmen and women obtain their successes.

The concept of the ‘inner Recreation’ has grown in reputation during a previous couple of many years expertise remains something which if frequently downplayed in plenty of Sporting arenas, and is actually something skirted round with the useful resource of the media and expert on public courses alike. Why that could be a size 22 scenario. professional magazines include pages of advice on bodily Coaching, diet regime, and nutrition, device, strategies, know-how, there’s a whole lack of any actual of the Mental aspects of Enhancing job performance strengths.

What is extra of a challenge, probably is that the NLP and Schooling Community is so apologetic about what it may offer individuals wanting to decorate their Overall performance. NLP is primarily based on the study of excellence in human Universal Performance and a way to copy this to others. IT changed into primarily based at the examiner of top notch therapists expertise abruptly went immediately to interest now not on mending broken people, understanding eve knowledge, to examine excellence in brilliant individuals. Martin Seligmann (Chair of the Yankee Intellectual Affiliation no much less!) has stated that we need to be now handed from focussing on broken human beings and how they’re damaged to reputation on developing a psychology of excellence and expertise follow what a fulfillment genuinely function individuals inside the same activities to do attain without a doubt contrary effects.

It is actual that some of the leading actors on the NLP degree have labored with elite performers in all forms of recreation and accomplished superb results understanding ever the knowledge orthodoxy of limiting thoughts and controllability have undermined Usual Overall performance gains that have been located or modeled.

Coaching

Wearing Universal Overall job performance strengths the world over has progressed in Every respect in Every sport. Regardless of the stress in opposition to using General Overall performance Enhancing pills, we’ve were given visible a 12 months on year increase in human Average Overall performance ranges. a number of that is all the way all the way down to frame structure and preference as extra young performers are focussed on areas in which they’re capable of certainly excel. More and more of Performance at an elite stage is completed through technical and Mental Schooling procedures. With the force to raise countrywide stages of Normal Overall performance, with substantial amounts of coins paying off with nations together with the UK conducting great tiers of achievement compared to its populace. There are awesome benefits to Intellectual Training which might be paying off. know-how, this success is handiest at the once more of large efforts with massive democracies. in which do human beings trying to beautify their own Normal Performance as they method elite diploma turn to access this form of assist? Nicely, the answer is a combination of physical Training, method Education, knowledge also in gaining access to the advantages which a Mental Average Performance educate can offer using Coaching strategies from the sphere game of Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Inner representations of Typical Performance and analyzing

Every folk has a preferred way of representing our revel into ourselves. Traditional wondering categorizes this as visible, auditory, Kinaesthetic, Olfactory and Gustatory representations. Add to this the vestibular system (Balance and three-dimensional location and orientation) and you’ve got were given a basis of a knowledge of the manner an athlete represents their Performance to themselves. Each job performance strengths will include an aggregate of those called away.  that everybody has their very very own combination of representational systems and man or woman techniques for Each issue of their Typical Overall job performance strengths offers the train and athlete an optimistic framework wherein to paintings. The general nonprivate of performers will not have stated their personal processing and representational structures till It’s miles mentioned to them. It’s miles vital to check for those representational systems as all people has their personal manner of representing their very own Overall process Overall performance. I labored wit an elite dancer, I concept, wrongly, that she ought to constitute her Ordinary job Overall performance could be kinaesthetic and in all likelihood visible. After I modeled her I found that this turned into now not the case. She had no kinaesthetic, visible, or auditory talk representations of her job job performance strengths the least bit. At a loss for words, I challenged this and he or she nervously confessed that Every flow into had an internal precis noise which she may also need to play returned to breed movement. I’d now suspect that there has been a vestibular representation as Well in spite of the truth that I used to be no longer able to elicit this at the time. Understand your private representational systems and you could take control of them and modify them to suit your personal Average activity Performance.

All representations are the difficulty to variation I phrase of sub-modalities: cocobolo black and white for instance. Adjusting representations has a right away effect on activity Overall performance, further to beliefs about Performance.

Us of a management

The state is critical to gaining knowledge of and Normal process Performance. The dominion is the relationship among conduct, Average job Performance, respiration, feelings, and mind. they may be all related, exchange one and the others trade with them. The focus of U. S. A . offers you desire over your Overall job performance strengths.

New conduct Generator

that is some element which I would anticipate athletes do obviously expertise I’ve determined not to count on. Tapping right into an individual’s representational structures, offers get proper of access to studying new activity Performance internally. you can name this revolutionary visualization, know-how, NLP teaches us that visualization by myself may be lots much less Effective tan utilizing a human beings very personal representational systems, Affiliation, and dissociation in a diffusion of flexible styles tailor-made to the athlete. On this way, inner rehearsal may be tons, plenty greater Powerful than visualization by myself. Once hooked up this sample, allows athletes to rehearse and create the new Normal Performance in any context in Education for competitive Average Performance.

Sleek sample

performance athletes have types of complex Normal Overall performance which might be related to inner representations of Universal Overall performance. A golfer, for example, may additionally have a repeated enjoy of gambling a particular shot badly at a selected hollow. What the Graceful sample allows the golfer to do is to update the terrible illustration with a remarkable one. As they constitute the bad Standard task Overall performance to themselves they use this as a cause to elicit an example of a splendid General process Overall job performance strengths as an opportunity. Once set up this sample becomes automatic very quickly – with the original motive for awful Overall performance now the purpose of an illustration and now an expectation of first rate Overall performance. within the identical way which specific elements of Average Performance can be switched from nice to bad – unique contexts locations or even competition may be without problems reprogrammed to be triggers for excellence.

Values elicitation

Every sportsman or woman has a fixed of values and beliefs which function at an unconscious degree riding picks, moves, and motivation. NLP Coaches are able to elicit a human beings values hierarchy and permit them to rethink Every price and Carrying job Performance inside the mind of Sporting desires and aspirations. One charge that may be fairly absent is that of exercise! Deliver this to the eye of the consumer and the coach is able to make them a brand new expertise in their relationship with their Sport.

New Code trade pattern

New Code alternate sample the use of New code video games, immoderate Average task Performance states are the perfect way of going for walks right now with the unconscious of the athlete to get right of access to new sources, unconscious studying and State preference at some stage in the overall activity Overall performance. This will be applied in Coaching and training or, previous to the general Performance. that is mainly useful and Powerful because the athlete can utilize the element of this art work for my part to get proper of entry to excessive Overall Performance State at will.

Circle of excellence

Anchoring great assets, whether or not or not created or recalled right into a spatial anchor can be immensely beneficial. The use of the spaces or system used in the game is a herbal thing which all sports males and females do – coaching the manner to use this in an extra dependent and useful way has an immediate awesome impact on Overall performance. Imagine using the golfing grip as a Powerful anchor or the entrance or fragrance of the squash courtroom docket and the circle of excellence cause. I exploit the brake lever hood of my cycle – it continually needs to be in simplest the proper position on the bar expertise it constantly works.

Timeline emotional release

Every body deliver programming through emotional triggers in our early improvement which hold to effect on us for the duration of adulthood those are the underlying automatic reactions which we are able to count on are a part of our persona. Such things as now not feeling precise enough, being angry in sure conditions, tension under strain are all hyperlink lower back to the imprint length in our early development or to specific points in our records. Timeline emotional launch allows the athlete to allow the bypass of unhelpful emotional problems which maintain to impinge on their Performance whether or now not they’re conscious of it or no longer. this is an interesting feature for the train to find themselves as they may calibrate that the intervention could have a large impact on schooling and Average Overall performance expertise athlete may additionally Recognize this as a herbal part of their make up. As such this pattern may want to typically be simplest As soon as a Coaching dating is installed and teach and athlete have an accurate rapport.

Failure into Feedback (Reframing)

Training this pattern won’t be needed with some athletes who use poor Comments as a key motivator understanding if failure is a problem during job performance strengths or education and guidance the expertise of reframing failure into Feedback or maybe feed-forward is tremendously useful in giving the athlete freedom to analyze rapidly from their Overall performance.

Motivation techniques Meta Programmes

Everyone f we have what are called meta-programmes working at an unconscious degree. One of the key ones for the general nonprivate now, now not simply athletes is their motivation technique. Motivation is either toward a goal, some distance from a terrible or somewhere in among. If the strategy in a context is away from then because the athlete moves away from then the level of motivation decreases. this is a few issue which coaches and athletes alike need to be privy to.

Inner talk

John Grinder, co-writer of NLP has called internal talk actually considered one of the largest obstacles to non-public alternate and improvement. using the strategies of Frank Farrelly is maximum useful In this place. If someone has a totally supportive Internal talk then the educate and athlete can utilize it to guide General Overall performance further. If It’s miles poor then it wants to manipulate just so if no longer supportive It’s far at least quieter, a whole lot much less shrill – lots much less traumatic. the use of sub-modalities you may exchange the route of Identity change its tone and quantity, even trade the person of the Identification. If It’s far in particular tough then a re-negotiation of its function may be in order. Trust in stead of getting a nagging critic in you proper ear you had a private trainer and train supporting you at all times? Sounds too suitable to be authentic? this is what an NLP professional train can do for you.

Sub-modality Notion exchange

Every Belief about Carrying Standard Overall performance is represented internally. As such, Each terrible Notion has a selected way of being represented to the athlete. the use of Sub-modality Map Across or Sub-modality Perception change pattern permits the athlete to have preference approximately their on-public private beliefs of their Overall performance. Taking a far less then useful Belief this is in the way of personal achievement and reducing the effect it has on him or her or maybe better taking a prone Belief approximately success and making it compelling to the point of being plain. This can be carried out to similarly to instruction, studying and precise and popular performances.

subconscious talking

growing a healthful relationship with ones unconscious is One of the maximum critical elements to the on-public private development and achieving fulfillment. this is something which some have a clearly appropriate dating with their unconscious minds for others this is something which they must establish and boom. An NLP train will do this with the consumer and work with them to expand a higher dating with the subconscious thoughts. As quickly as that is mounted then the use of the attention developed in approach elicitation the subconscious mind can be tasked with Schooling, developing and generating favored states and performances through the years. This way can be used to re-direct automated responses for instance from anger to strength – from vulnerability to a hobby. This method has a huge ability to harness the ability of the unconscious thoughts in the carrier of specific obligations and goals. For honestly all of us doubting the role of the subconscious mind in Wearing Overall performance have to don’t forget that tennis games start reacting to a ball earlier than they’re consciously aware of its trajectory, transferring, assessing pace and path and making equipped a go back in real time earlier than the conscious mind can react.

Peripheral Vision

The development of peripheral Vision goes hand in hand with growing a higher dating with the subconscious mind. Elite athletes have notable peripheral Imaginative and prescient which allows them to soak up huge amounts of facts direct to the subconscious thoughts. This offers athletes a big advantage in Performance, taking in an entire lot more applicable records at absolutely everyone time. This is straightforward to develop and becomes a herbal country in no time. It moreover has the benefit of at once changing Country to a calmer more inventive one at any time one chooses. For any other demonstration of the significance and power of peripheral Vision watch the video of Mark Cavendish triumphing sprints – he’s capable of feel riders in the back of him reacting and reply to them and win races. He has no longer eyed inside the returned of his head – that is an indication of ways crucial peripheral Vision is.

Future pace & Compelling Destiny

aim placing is one detail, knowledge, NLP teaches us that the thoughts are more likely to attain dreams if they’ll be created in a quite compelling way. The Compelling Destiny sample is an amazing way of focussing the attention of the unconscious mind on reaching crucial desires. Such as possible goals at the way to greater formidable dreams demonstrates to the subconscious thoughts that the double purpose, a part of the ambitious purpose is easy so the ambitious one might be conceivable.

Modelling

NLP is borne of modeling and all this means is the development of models of splendid human behavior. All people look at On sports activities manner as more youthful youngsters and will have experience of adopting the country, frame shape, values and ideals of people whose Usual Overall performance we desire to emulate. studying to sports activities the way to try this thru micro muscle mirroring, breathing, posture and body structure allow new Ordinary Overall performance to be modeled from others.sports activities is a better order potential which athletes already need to a big extent, know-how, is frequently on the unconscious competence stage. The teach’s interest is to hold this returned to the conscious incompetence stage for the sake of developing and utilizing the capabilities of modeling the difference of others. Combine this with technique elicitation and a whole new Powerful set of the system emerges that may create unheard of stages of Typical Performance.

sports activities

sports activities Overall performance in a place wherein people can excel in such lots of ways. now not most effective can NLP approaches result in dramatic adjustments in Sporting Usual Overall performance, expertise processes used right away deliver human beings an excellent deal more desire and versatility in Each part of their lives with a hard and fast of skills insights and knowledge which might be exceedingly applicable to Each exclusive problem in their lives. everyone wishing to in reality improves their Wearing Universal Performance whether or not or no longer that is for entertainment, competition or profession ought to be jogging with an NLP certified train who has a minimum Mater Practitioner Certification. Any teach operating at this degree have to significantly maintain in thoughts the benefits of helping others to extend greater choice and flexibility of their lives through the medium of sports activities sports Schooling. NLP is not just about Coaching in attaining restoration effects, demonstrating the path to Overall performance and private increase ought to continually be an imperative Sport.

[plvcebofeelngs]

how can u continue to support octavia even after she's abused bellamy (both physically and emotionally) along with abusing other moc and appropriating grounder culture?? i read one of ur posts about how she's "grieving" but black pain should not be used to further a white storyline, esp one that's abusive