#thinking i can do it then overthinking then leaving then isolating then craving interaction then joining then overthinking then leaving the | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

udo0stories · 22 days

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“Our brains are wired for connection, but trauma rewires them for protection. That’s why healthy relationships are difficult for wounded people.” ~Ryan North Friendships portrayed in popular culture often depict perfect companions who engage in witty conversations at coffee shops or loyal best friends who understand each other deeply. If social interactions make you uneasy and navigating friendships feels challenging, you might feel isolated or ashamed. I struggled with building friendships for most of my life, a topic that frequently arose in my therapy sessions. However, as I transitioned from the patient to the therapist role, I realized I wasn't alone in this experience. During my primary school years, I had a seemingly effortless friendship with one best friend. Despite occasional disagreements, we shared a unique bond and supported each other unwaveringly. While primary school was a happy place, my home life was tumultuous due to my parents' divorce, which was prompted by my father's alcoholism. As a single parent, my overwhelmed mother couldn't provide the attention and affection I needed, planting the seeds of low self-worth in me. As I entered high school, these seeds of insecurity grew, and I began to feel unsettled within my friendships. I found it easy to make new friends but quickly grew restless, always seeking out new and seemingly "better" companions. At that time, "better" often meant joining the popular crowd, who appeared to have more fun and garnered attention from boys. I've realized that this feeling of restlessness stems from a desire for more love and validation, while also keeping intimacy at a distance. I was afraid that if I stayed around for too long, they would discover the real me, whom I didn't believe deserved their love. Moving from group to group in high school, I left behind perfectly nice friends and tried to fit in with different crowds. However, this behavior didn't work out well, and I soon realized that popularity doesn't always mean kindness. Unfortunately, my new friends turned against me, leaving me feeling bullied, alone, and like an outcast. Ironically, my desperate need to be popular, driven by a craving for love, only made things worse and reinforced my feelings of unworthiness. My high school friendships were messy, and by college, I gave up trying. While others enjoyed the college social scene, I withdrew into a relationship, finding solace in romantic love. Romantic love felt clearer to me compared to the confusing world of platonic friendships, but it also made me feel isolated and depressed, longing to be part of the fun world I saw from the outside. As a mom, I still craved connection and a supportive group of friends. However, my past experiences increased my anxiety about friendships, leading me to overthink interactions and feel rejected or let down easily. What did they think of me? Why haven’t they replied to that text? Is everyone hanging out without me? What kind of version of me do they want? Feeling like I was the only adult struggling with friendship, I felt ashamed and self-loathing, exacerbating my struggles. Another way to describe my push-pull behavior is having an insecure attachment style. I pulled people toward me to help me feel loved but pushed them away because I didn’t feel worthy of it. Low self-worth and insecure attachments are often linked, and commonly associated with romantic relationships. However, our attachment styles also affect our friendships, and recognizing this is the first step to addressing it. It wasn't until I began training as a therapist and delved into attachment theory and core beliefs that everything clicked for me. I came to realize that our early experiences shape how we see ourselves and the world (like feeling unworthy or fearing abandonment), influencing our behavior later on. From an evolutionary standpoint, we naturally seek safety in others, but negative childhood experiences can make us hypersensitive to rejection as a protective measure.

With these insights, I found clarity, and by employing the following tools to address my issues, my low self-worth and anxiety surrounding friendships gradually diminished. Challenge your assumptions. Many friendship struggles arise from how we perceive situations. For instance, we might assume, “If my friend doesn’t respond to my text, she must be angry with me,” or “If she cancels plans, it means she doesn’t care.” These thoughts can seem valid because our anxious minds are preparing us for potential rejection. However, they're often not rooted in reality, as they're influenced by fear or low self-esteem. To challenge these thoughts and adopt more constructive perspectives, try jotting them down in a journal and questioning them. Are you jumping to conclusions? Assuming the worst? Consider alternative explanations for someone's actions. Be curious about your feelings and offer them compassion. Problems with friendships are usually caused by deep fears and beliefs, formed in childhood, that we hold about ourselves and other people—such as a belief about being unlovable or not good enough, or fears of being alone and rejected. The anxiety that manifests on the surface is an unhelpful attempt to prevent our worst fears from coming true. But just because you feel rejected by your friend doesn’t mean you have been rejected. These feelings are probably old wounds from childhood that haven’t healed. To heal these wounds, acknowledge your feelings and tune into them in the body. Is there a tightness in your chest or a knot in your stomach? Be curious about where they come from and offer yourself what you need to feel safe now. For example, remind yourself that you cannot help feeling this way because you are trying to protect yourself. But you are now safe, loved, and worthy of being cared for. Use mindfulness to manage overthinking. If we experience low self-worth and it’s impacting our friendships, we’re likely caught up in overthinking. Not only will this impact our mood, causing anxiety or depression but we will get attached to the stories our minds are telling us and potentially create more rifts. Mindfulness is a very effective skill that stops our thoughts from snowballing and also helps us recognize that thoughts are just thoughts (even the ones that feel real!). Mindfulness also helps us increase our awareness of the feelings in our bodies without being so consumed by them. For example, we can acknowledge that we feel rejected but take a step back and choose how to respond to ourselves with more compassion. Know and accept your friendship style. I can be loud and talkative, and I regularly deliver training to large groups of people. So it took me a while to realize that I am, in fact, an introvert who needs lots of time on her own and intimate friendships. It’s very easy to assume that everyone has a gang of friends, and we can think there’s something wrong with us if we don’t. But that’s only one friendship style, and many people prefer the intimacy of one-on-one friendships. I remember in primary school, when at my most authentic, I never had a group of friends and naturally gravitated toward intense one-on-one friendships. Remembering this has permitted me to honor that part of myself. I no longer compare myself to people in cliques or crave to be like them, preferring to foster individual friendships with people I genuinely feel I can be myself with. Build your self-worth. If you like yourself and feel loveable, then other people’s actions are less important. When I realized that low self-worth was at the root of my friendship insecurity, I made a conscious effort to start loving myself, and everything improved. Obviously, this is easier said than done, and my other Tiny Buddha post goes into detail about how I did that. A few things that really helped were powerful self-worth meditations, offering myself validation, and living my life as if I was already good enough. Eventually, I felt more secure in friendships as well as more accepting of my friendship style.

The bonus was that when I started to accept and love myself, I stopped thinking I had to be friends with everyone to feel good enough and attracted the right people to me.

#PersonalDevelopment #Feel #Friendships #helped #Secure

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soumenoraw09 · 3 years

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How can I lose weight quickly? The most effective method to Lose Weight Fast — Quick and Easy Weight Loss Tips

Shed 5 pounds in a single week! It’s a figure of speech we see all over the place. And keeping in mind that it’s conceivable that somebody can lose that much in that time-frame, it truly relies upon your digestion and heaps of different variables remarkable to you, including actual work and body structure.

The eating routine itself can fool you into believing that this eating style is working — when truly, you may restore what you lost when you eat carbs once more. That can feel unbelievably demoralizing in the event that you need results that last more than seven days.

In light of my involvement with sustenance directing, a large portion of us will in general nibble on food varieties that aren’t supplement thick, yet are high in calories. Significant offenders frequently come as refined grains like oats, chips, wafers, and treats yet additionally calorie-pressed beverages like juice and pop.

Skirting sweet drinks is regularly the least demanding approach to get more fit quicker. You don’t feel full from drinks, so trading those out for shining water or unsweetened tea and espresso is the best spot to begin.

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1. Concentrate on eating quality food sources, not including calories.

Yes, that implies try not to crunch the numbers. All things considered, put your consideration toward consolidating more organic products, veggies, protein sources, and entire grains into your eating regimen, says Wendy Leonard, RD, author of Rhode Island Nutrition Therapy. Ya know, food varieties with heaps of supplements and nutrients.

In the event that you center around the nature of food, there’s a decent possibility you’ll eat more supplement thick choices that leave you satisfied, adds Lauren Sullivan, an enlisted dietitian with Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Human Nutrition. This can mean normally eating less calories without having to overthink it.

Checking calories can remove the pleasure from eating, Zeitlin says. It can likewise prompt an undesirable fixation on remaining under a specific carbohydrate level or working out to consume calories. Considering food and not a mathematical question can tackle those issues.

Need some more explicit ideas? Loneke Blackman Carr, PhD, RD, right hand teacher of local area and general wellbeing nourishment at the University of Connecticut suggests looking at the Dietary Guidelines for Americans to figure out how to assemble a fair, supplement rich plate.

2. Try not to skip meals.

Overlooking your appetite is never a smart thought since your body capacities best when you eat at normal stretches during the day, says Alicia Romano, RD, a clinical enlisted dietitian at the Frances Stern Nutrition Center at Tufts Medical Center in Boston, Massachusetts. Doing so assists with controlling your glucose so you can keep away from the spike and crash that accompanies eating a major dinner on an unfilled stomach.

Eating routinely likewise keeps you stimulated and less inclined to nibble on sweet stuff for the duration of the day, Zeitlin says. “Feeling languid and blah triggers you to search for helpful in and out food choices.” To be clear: These food sources aren’t “terrible food sources,” and you don’t have to keep away from snacks or bundled merchandise to get more fit. Zeitlin takes note of that you ought to eat this (and any kind of food) carefully and when you really need it, not on the grounds that your body is denied and desiring energy.

Zeitlin prescribes eating each three to four hours for the duration of the day. Regardless of whether that is a tidbit or supper, it’s just about placing some sort of energy into your body..

3. Eat foods grown from the ground with each feast.

Indeed, your mother was correct (once more). Foods grown from the ground are useful for you, and we as a whole most likely need to eat a greater amount of them.

Vegetables — particularly non-bland vegetables like spinach, asparagus and celery — give a huge load of supplements and fiber, clarifies Leonard. Fiber eases back the absorption interaction and upgrades completion and supplement admission at supper time, so eating it at each feast can help you feel satisfied longer in the wake of eating, Romano adds.

Eating an eating regimen wealthy in foods grown from the ground has likewise been demonstrated to support wellbeing otherly, with contemplates discovering defensive advantages against coronary illness and type 2 diabetes, Williamson says.

So what amount would we say we are talkin’? “A large portion of your plate ought to be foods grown from the ground,” Williamson says. The rest ought to be a quarter protein and a quarter entire grains. Obviously, this is anything but an immovable principle, however generally isolating your plate into these extents can help you ensure you’re eating supplement rich plants at each supper.

4. Keep a food diary.

On the off chance that writing down all that you eat in a day causes you to feel regretful or restless, skirt this completely. All things considered, individuals who track what they eat (as in food varieties not calories) will in general be more fruitful in shedding pounds since it brings issues to light about the thing they’re noshing on, says Elizabeth Mayer-Davis, PhD, an enrolled dietitian and seat of the Department of Nutrition at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Indeed, a progression of studies distributed in the Journal of Personalized Medicine recommend that those utilizing applications to screen their eating regimen and action were bound to encounter an increment in weight reduction.

Zeitlin suggests keeping a food diary where you record what you eat at every dinner and nibble and when. That way, you can think back and learn in the event that you’re truly eating however many veggies as you might suspect you are or in the event that you’re eating consistently or coincidentally skipping dinners on occupied days.

You can likewise attempt a photograph food diary application like Ate Food Journal, Leonard recommends. She noticed that individuals will in general like this methodology better on the grounds that opening an application and snapping a fast pic is way less monotonous than recording every last insight regarding your suppers for the duration of the day. Also, it’s similarly as successful

5. Reconsider your beverages.

You don’t have to remove liquor to get thinner, and having a Coke won’t destine your weight reduction objectives. In any case, it is a smart thought to know about the thing you’re burning-through and realize that your beverages might be a greater wellspring of calories than you understand — and possibly something you wouldn’t actually miss all that amount on the off chance that you traded for water or seltzer and lime.

Leonard suggests wiping out or definitely lessening how much alcohol you drink a little while to perceive how you feel. The experience could make you consider switching around your drinking propensities on the off chance that you notice an improvement in your personal satisfaction with less assimilating.

6. Focus on protein and entire grains.

We previously discussed foods grown from the ground, however we need to sing the gestures of recognition of protein and entire grains as well.

Protein is a significant macronutrient that our bodies need to work appropriately. It’s a decent wellspring of energy, and it requires a moment for our bodies to process it, which implies it gives a consistent wellspring of energy.

When matched with starches, which rush to process, everything moves a little more slow — which causes us to feel satisfied and keeps us full for more. Additionally, in case you’re working out, protein will be considerably more essential to help revamp your muscles and keep you moving and getting more grounded

7. Drink more water.

The best sub for sweet or boozy beverages? Plain ol’ H2O. Remaining hydrated can really help you feel less swelled and full and simply keep your body running similar to a well orchestrated symphony.

Drinking water can likewise assist you with getting tune with your craving signals. “Our bodies will in general feel hungry when we’re really parched, so when you’re not drinking sufficient water for the duration of the day, you may believe you’re eager and reach for additional bites when truly you simply need a glass of water,” Zeitlin clarifies. On the off chance that you know you’re a hydration sovereign, you’ll know a food craving implies you’re really eager and need to eat.

8. Continue to eat the food varieties you love.

You totally ought not deny yourself of the food sources you love to get more fit. Truth be told, proceeding to eat your faves can help you arrive at your objectives.

In the event that you allow yourself to continue to eat your top picks, you can fulfill your longings without gorging. In case you’re zeroing in on eating supplement rich, useful for-you food varieties most of the time, that treat or donut or frozen yogurt dessert won’t prevent you from getting in shape. Additionally, appreciating what you burn-through is sound as well

9. Overlook the scale.

On the off chance that you get on a scale each and every day for an entire week, it will show you an alternate number each day. There are a ton of things that can impact the amount you gauge — like how much water your body is clutching. Eating a great deal of sodium, not dozing enough, and exercise would all be able to affect water maintenance and change the number on the scale. It’s simply not a decent marker of your genuine body weight.

#how can i lose weight quickly #diet #weight loss

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banashee · 4 years

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A place to belong

Despite what one would think, Bruce actually likes being around people. He may be shy and awkward and terrified of turning green and hurting someone, but he enjoys the company of others.

Even before the accident that changed his life, but especially after, he felt isolated more often than not. That is, until he joins a batshit crazy team of superheroes and slowly but surely finds something he never thought he’d find again.

A safe place, a purpose and, most of all, a family.

Bruce likes people, and he likes taking care of them. It gives him something to do, something to focus on. And fuck it, he craves human interaction.

Those encounters evolve from collegial, clinical and medical to friendly and comfortable surprisingly fast and suddenly, one evening, Bruce finds himself absentmindedly running one hand through Tony’s thick, dark hair as he’s sitting in front of him on the floor with a bunch of throw pillows and tapping away on his Stark Pad. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing until the inventor falls asleep, snoring lightly with his head pillowed against Bruce’s knee.

When he catches on to what he’s doing he stops, stunned. But then a small, protesting noise escapes his friend, and when Bruce starts the light scratching again, Tony hums happily, still fast asleep and Bruce has something new to think of.

Once he noticed what’s changed, he notices more of those touches, and how their frequency increases. It’s simple things, at first. Shoulders or knees lightly bumping one another, back pats, teasing elbows to the ribs.

Then there is the hair playing – hands touching gently, detangling, scratching, finger-combing, you name it. It’s equally relaxing on both ends, and often times they don’t really realize that they’re doing it, until a teammate melts into a content puddle of sleepiness under their hands.

Bruce also notices that the others seem to love his unruly curls, thick and soft, sticking up in every direction, even when all they do is running a hand through them while walking past. Just a quick, affectionate movement and the satisfying bounce back of hair.

After that he notices the hugs. Those increase, in length and intensity, and Bruce finds himself wanting more.

He’s spent so many years alone, avoiding touch at all costs but now here he is, in a tower full of people and no one is afraid of him, despite knowing who, what he is.

And if any of them knew that he thinks like that of himself they’d sure have something to say about it. Knowing them, it’d be something strongly worded.

Bruce doesn’t say anything about it though, but he practically bathes in this new feeling of belonging and safety and family. He soaks it up like a sponge, secretly afraid that it’ll stop one day.

But the craziest thing is that every single one of them seems to seek him out just as much as anyone else on the team, in any of those ways. They trust him, and they seem to genuinely like him – they do, but it’s kind of hard for him to catch up with that, because he still thinks he doesn’t deserve it.

“Hey, stop thinking so hard, or you’ll glare a hole into the wall.” Says a faintly amused voice over his head, then there are gentle hands mussing up his salt and pepper curls, which are a hot mess on a good day. The voice belongs to Clint, and he takes his time detangling, massaging and scratching his hair and scalp and Bruce happily leans into it. Human contact feels so good. He manages a small laugh, though.

“The wall had it coming.”

“Oh, I’m sure of it. You okay, though?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Wanna watch a movie?”

“Hmm…”

Clint laughs again.

“You’re about to fall asleep now, are you?”

“Hmmhmm…” is the very eloquent reply from Dr. 7 PHD’s, but it’s been a while since he’s been this relaxed, so there. He doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind at all.

*+~

It doesn't take long for Bruce to realize that he's developing romantic feelings. Him recognizing it doesn't mean he'll do anything about it, though. It's too dangerous - it's another thing he might lose again one day and he doesn't want to risk it.

Maybe it's a little bit selfish of him, but he enjoys these interactions as much as he can. Just in case it'll end soon or in case he has to run again. Which is something that he always keeps in the back of his mind, dreading the day, whenever it comes.

Maybe getting attached to people was a bad idea in the first place. Maybe he deserves the inevitable heartbreak that'll come eventually and maybe…

"Bruce? Hey, are you okay? Breathe. Just keep breathing."

There is a calm and steady voice talking to him, and gentle hands touching his arm to bring him back to reality. A shine of blue light near his face, and oh. Yes, right. It’s Tony talking to him, and Bruce finds it in him to nod.

“I’m fine. I’m fine… Nothing to worry about.” He sounds shaky, blinks against the light.

The look he gets for that lets him know that he is not nearly as convincing as he’d hoped for, and Tony tells him as much. He also stays close for the rest of the night, claiming they’ve worked enough for the day, dragging him up into the common room and magically summoning the other Avengers for an impromptu movie night with Pizza.

Bruce finds himself in the middle of it all, wedged in between Tony and Clint, close enough to share body heat with them. Close enough to feel the steady heartbeats as his friends stay near at all times. Curled up next to and half on top of Clint on the other side is Natasha, while Tony makes himself comfortable propped up on Steve and putting his feet into Bruce’s lap. They also let Bruce use them as pillows, and in turn do the same to him, claiming he runs warmer because of the radiation in his blood. It is true, but Bruce can’t help the happy little spark it sends through him and he holds on tight.

Thor is sitting on the floor in front of him, leaning his back onto the sofa and happily scratching a big, golden, one eyed dog behind his ears.

Clint brought Lucky over recently, and everyone has fallen in love with him on first sight. The dog, that is. Concerning Clint, well, that’s something Bruce is still figuring out in the privacy of his own mind.

Bruce starts braiding Thor’s hair into small sections about midway through the movie. It keeps his hands occupied and it’s another way to stop him from overthinking again.

All in all, it is a good night, and when Bruce nods off 20 minutes into the second movie, they somehow manage to move without dislodging him and when he wakes up the next day, he does so on said couch with a warm and firm body behind him and two strong arms wrapped around his waist.

Warm breath tickles his neck and he blinks, squinting trough the room without his glasses on because everything is blurry. He’s still pretty sure that he’s in the living room and yeah, right, movie night and falling asleep on the couch.

The person at his back moves, mumbling incoherently and clutching him a little bit more tightly and then there is the clicking sound of four legs with claws tapping on the wooden floor. A moment later, the weight of a grown, big dog settles right on top of them, and Bruce feels warm and cozy all over again.

That is, until he starts thinking again, about how much he wishes for this to be anything else but temporary.

His heart beat or breathing pattern must change, because the arms around him tighten again and he can hear the drowsy voice he’d know anywhere next to his ear from behind him.

“Bruce, you okay?”

Clearly, Clint hasn’t been awake for long but he (used to be? Is?) a spy after all, so he does notice small changes like this in an instant. And because he’s not been awake for too long, either, Bruce turns around so Clint can see his lips move and answers in all honesty.

“I’m so happy right now but it won’t last. I’ll have to run again one day and I’m honestly kind of scared for that to happen.”

Then, he clamps his mouth shut quickly. Fuck. He’s said too much now.

Clint is quiet for a moment, processing the information before he’s had any coffee. Then, he replies, slowly and much clearer than he would have thought possible just after waking up and looks him directly in the eyes.

“You are safe here and the only reason you’d have to leave is if you want to do that. Until then, I’m afraid you’re stuck with us.”

He tries for the last part to sound like a joke, but Bruce knows that he’d being completely serious. And he wants to believe it. He wants it so bad.

“Can – can you stay with me for a bit?” he asks quietly, and smiles in relief when Clint simply hugs him tighter and rests his head near his shoulder as soon as the words are out.

“Yeah, sure. And just to put it out there, I’m very happy where I am right now. Like, mind-blowingly, really fucking happy.”

That makes him chuckle a bit, and Bruce runs one of his hands up and down his back, stroking through the shaggy blond hair on occasion.

“That’s good to know. Because, me too.” His heart is beating faster, but for once, it’s for a reason that makes him happy and giddy inside and he can’t help but feel like a teenager in love despite being in his 40s.

“Wanna stay out here? I really don’t feel like moving again, and it’ll help us avoid answering too many questions.”

A beat of silence.

“They have a betting pool, don’t they?”

“’Course they do. Good luck letting them figure out who made the first move though.”

Bruce is laughing outright now, causing Lucky to huff disapprovingly and shift on his spot on top of the humans when the movement wakes him from his slumber once again.

“I’m not spilling if you don’t.”

Clint is laughing now, too and gently presses a kiss on top of Bruce’s head. Then hejust stays there, his face pressed into the hair and smiling against it.

“Deal.”

*+~

Prompt No. 30 – Hair playing

#banashee writes #marvel fanfiction #archive of our own #ao3

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stupidalteanpools · 7 years

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projecting? probably, but hear me out

General Keith meta I guess. This is very long, but good writing ref for all you fellow fic authors.

Keith is a very sensitive guy.

Basically... out of all the voltron characters, Keith is the most relatable to me. I see him as someone who thinks more from his heart than from his head, who really does genuinely just want to do the right thing but gets way too carried away with what’s going on in his own head. He doesn’t care for people telling him what to do because he wants independence, but he is very emotionally affected by them regardless. He’s got a strong willpower, but the way he applies it is very much built around people and emotion.

Okay. So. First thing that comes to mind is the bonding moment? Obviously. He’s the kind of guys who clearly reads really deeply into things and probably overthinks a lot of things if he has nothing better to do.

I mean, yes, he does charge into situations unprepared without thinking ALL THE TIME but when he’s forced to sit down and think - say, for example, when he’s tossing and turning waiting for lance to come out of the healing pod (I see those lines under your eyes, Keith. I see them.) - he really goes at it. He reads into situations too much and tries to fit them to what he hopes for; does he dare to venture so far as to say that maybe Lance and him have something special now? In reality Lance was just a half-delirious boy pleased that he just blasted sendak, but Keith read way too much into it and went into their next interactions with a lot of hopes that were very quickly shot down.

He reads into the smile and the handholding as a sign of friendship. “we are a good team” probably means something deeper - it probably means Lance is realizing that they (as in, specifically him and keith) work really well together. He doesn’t see it as a spur of the moment thing - he feels like Lance has developed something more permanent with him, and so he cant resist the smile that comes to his face. We see that - he looks at lance for a second or two before slowly shifting into a smile - because he’s thinking and going through these what-ifs and reading into what those words mean.

His face throughout the beginning of Taking Flight.

Everyone always talks about this, I don’t really need to go into it - he’s very worried and concerned and pouty and all that good stuff. But there are lines under his eyes. Unfortunately I don’t have screenshots to add here right now, but those lines aren’t always under his eyes - so he was definitely losing sleep over Lance. I mean, if that doesn’t mean he was an emotional hurricane until Lance stumbled out asking about clocks, i don’t know how else you could interpret it.

the amount of information in your brain could be stored in a paper airplane.

He’s salty - because Lance forgot their bonding moment, Lance literally lost information so Keith’s making a jab at Lance’s memory loss. He clearly hasn’t stopped thinking about it. It was important to him, Lance doesn’t remember - - - - and now there’s no way he can just get over it without some kind of emotional release, which of course comes out through an insult.

we’re going back to the beginning. Lance and Keith, neck and neck - what does that mean?? Keith really has no memory of this boy, and here he is antagonizing him. That creates stress. And he’s already saving Shiro, whom he clearly has already known for a while. It’s a high-stress situation and adding these complex social dynamics is too much to focus on so he mutters out “congratulations” and just puts his mind to the task at hand.

Keith does this. He channels his emotions into action whenever he doesn’t want to think about them - this is really apparent all throughout the show, I’m not sure I need to go into examples here. But of course he hasn’t gotten Lance’s comment out of his system yet, and hearing him jabbering on from the back of his hover bike plane thing, the insult just kind of creates itself. It’s another way Keith tends to release his negative energy - he can’t cope with it himself, so he yells, he glares, he makes passive aggressive jabs.

It’s not just impulse, it’s an inability to hold his emotions down. The slightest things tend to enter his brain and he starts thinking about them too much, and he immediately needs release from that. Hence the temperamental nature, the tendency to seek isolation.

Which is another thing I’d like to get into. Keith likes being alone.

I think there’s more to it than just, “I like it out here. It’s quiet.” Keith has a tendancy to react to every stimulus around him: as I’ve said above, he overthinks small things and immediately seeks release for those building emotions. So he isolates himself because it’s comforting when he doesn’t have to work around other people. Lance especially: someone who definitely makes conscious effort to get on Keith’s nerves and one up him, someone who’s naturally a talkative boy. That’s a little too much for Keith, who prefers people who can either go along with him or will leave him alone. It’s not always a good thing though, and Lance knows that and calls him out on his behavior a lot, which is why I think Keith is very aware of the fact that his behavior is problematic - but I’ll get to that later.

Keith’s tendancy to look for places that are more secluded, quiet, and undisturbed by anything that isn’t his own i think reflects on an aspect of Keith’s personality that also explains why Keith gets along with Shiro so well. (And before I go on, I’m going off the theory that the cast has hinted at that Shiro is 25 and the other three boys are all 17ish.) Shiro is older than him and wiser, but he never uses it against keith or as a reason that keith should respect him. “you’re like a brother to me” is a very important choice of words because it reveals a lot about the way Keith sees Shiro, besides of course the obvious brotherly feelings. Keith is known for having issues with authority figures, so the fact that he calls Shiro his brother is significant in that Keith views him as an equal, but still as a guiding figure/role model. The choice of words denotes more respect toward Shiro than it would have if Keith had said “you’re like a father to me.”

Where Keith is concerned, a brother is more important than a father because not only does Keith have a distaste for authority figures, he specifically has issues with his own dad. Calling Shiro his brother equates shiro to someone Keith can wholly trust to stand by him no matter what. At the same time, Shiro fits Keith’s personality well because he’s gentle and he suggests things more often than he commands things. He doesn’t say, “Keith, you’re going to be the next black paladin,” he says, “I want you to lead voltron.” It’s a very clear distinction between “you” and “i” - the first one puts Keith on the spot, while the second one keeps it in Shiro’s perspective. The way Shiro communicates with Keith is simple and it doesn’t make Keith feel like he’s forced into anything, and Keith craves this easy comfort, especially with his high-riding emotions.

Back to lance for a bit. I’m not saying Lance is the worst person for Keith to ineract with. Their clashing personalities is exactly what makes them so dynamic as rivals, yes, but we also see that Lance is the only other person who seems to be able to calm Keith down and force him to think through things in a different way. Stopping him in the balmera, calming him down in the blade of marmora episode, etc. Yet, lance’s approach is drastically different from Shiro’s - so what makes him draw a similarly effective response from Keith?

I think this is more to do with Lance’s personality than Keith’s. I’ll keep this short - Lance is very drawn to people. We see this in how quick he is to flirt, we see this in how easily he picks up altean lingo, we see this in how fast he runs to defend people he’s just met, we see this in how he doubts himself and his position in the eyes of the other paladins. He’s more afraid of letting his friends down than he is of failing the universe, the way I see it. So this friendliness and magnetic personality - it applies to Keith as well. They’re friends, too, and just the fact that Lance is good with socializing when Keith is so not is enough to baffle Keith enough that he listens to lance. It’s not with ease like it is when Shiro is calming Keith down, but it’s effective and quick - and it keeps Keith in check, which is a big thing that Shiro just... fails to do, as much as I love him.

So, about Keith’s dad... his family, in general. I wasn’t really part of the fandom back when this was news, but I think it was said that Keith is secretely very happy to be part of voltron? and that really isn’t surprising at all. I’ve stressed a lot that keith like to isolate himself, but he still really wants to be liked and accepted and part of a larger community. Growing up as an orphan and later as the Garrison’s ace pilot has drastically shaped Keith’s personality. As an orphan, he’s had to learn to take care of himself, he’s had to learn some humility, he’s had to learn very quickly that the world isn’t his. Most children aren’t forced to grow out of that mindset so fast. Then Keith enlists in the garrison where he’s considered the most talented pilot of his generation, but it’s very obvious that this has never gotten to his head - we see it in his reluctance to be the black paladin, we see this in how uncomfortabe he looks everytime Lance mentions Keith from back in the garrison days. Keith is not comfortable with being in the spotlight - he’s been forced to be alone for a good part of his life and he doesn’t seek any more of it.

What’s much more important to Keith is belonging to a kind of community. Rather than being at the top, he’d prefer to have a family. Team voltron has been described as a family by Allura multiple times, and I think it’s definitely meant to feel that way. It’s the one thing that he hasn’t had for a long time, and it’s why it’s so significant that he see’s Shiro as his brother and why that admission is such high praise coming from Keith. I’m not going to get into why this is my headcanon, but Keith’s dad left keith when Keith was young and is probably still alive out there somewhere. It’s not that he needs his dad - he’s pretty distanced from him and although there are strong emotions there, there’s nothing all that phenomenal going on between them.

What’s more important about Keith’s relationship with his dad is how it contrasts with Keith’s relationship with the rest of team voltron. This is very clearly explored int the blade of marmora episode, and also another reason why Shiro is the one who is needed in that episode with keith. Shiro represents Keith’s family with voltron while his dad represents his blood-related family. The choice between the two is one of Keith’s biggest internal conflicts.

How does that tie into Keith being a sensetive person? It means Keith focuses heavily on being accepted by the people around him. It’s why it bothers him so much when Lance antagonizes him and why he tends to overthink those situations. It’s why we see those miserable expressions on Keith’s face every time Allura discriminates against his Galra side.

Yet, Keith’s still someone who rises agaisnt authority and seeks independence, so he’s not going to settle for trying to get people to like him - he wants them to like him as he is. It’s why he didn’t keep his galra lineage a secret, like I first expected he would when I was watching for the first time. It’s why he chooses to infiltrate the Galra ship. “No one’s commanding me. I’m doing it.” He knows he needs to prove both to himself and to his fellow paladins that every part of him, including the part that is Galra, is acceptable, even an asset.

It’s all part of his need to feel emotionally secure and comortable with his place in Voltron, and it’s why Hunk’s galra keith jokes are so important - Hunk’s normalizing the fact that Keith’s Galra, he’s accepting it. That means a lot to Keith, which is why even though he does give Hunk exasperated looks, he only retorts back when he needs correct Hunk by saying “I didn’t just turn galra.” Keith has always been Galra, and he’s not afraid of that fact anymore. He even smiles at Hunk by the end of the mission, because he’s comfortable knowing that Hunk accepts him as Galra without simply ignoring the fact and acting like nothing’s different.

8 (jeez i lost count and had to scroll up)

Let’s talk about Keith dropping out. this section will be pretty short compared to 7. he mentions how he found himself lost and drawn out to the desert by some energy telling him to search. I think the blue lion could sense him because he was galra and was probably calling to him through that connection - i also think that it’s very possible that a blade of marmora galra was the former blue paladin but took the blue lion to earth to keep it away from Zarkon’s hands. The same Galra is probably Keith’s mom or ancestor or something -- anyway. Blue still chooses Lance as her paladin, but i think Keith and lance are still connected through the blue lion because of this by @voltronturd - - A N Y WAY.

It’s obviously something that has impacted Keith very heavily. It’s the reason they found Voltron, yes, but it meant a lot of really bad things for Keith - he has no family to return to, no other career to pursue, and he winds up in the desert, aimless. Keith’s a person who commits 100% to everything he does. and as much as I fucking love the conspiracy theorist keith memes, i just don’t think it’s in character at all. It’s more of a result of him having nothing better to do and nothing else in his life left to him rather than a secret passion. Keith was definitely a broken man for that portion of his life - another reason it makes perfect sense that Keith is secretly happy being a part of voltron and why learning that didn’t surprise me.

Okay, Keith and social situations - they don’t mix, we all know this. Why, though? I’d like to go into specifically their interactions with the arusians. “I don’t normally hug strangers, but, uh, wow. You... are.. cuddly.” what’s important is how he says he doesn’t normally hug strangers - not that he doesn’t hug strangers, not that he doesn’t normally hug people, but that he doesn’t normally hug strangers. before I start sounding like a broken record, basically, Keith is not opposed to hugging at all - it’s why i fucking love cuddly keith in fanfiction. He seems completely comfortable and at ease hugging Shiro, and while not so much with Allura, that’s more attributed to the fact that she’s suddenly calling him part of her family before stepping in close and curling over his shoulders without actually hugging him. It’s more of a keith, hold me gesture than a let me hug you gesture, and for a boy who struggles with social cues a little, it explains why the two of them are a little physcially awkward in that scene.

So it’s not so much that he’s antisocial - as i’ve already described, he needs to feel like he belongs and he needs to feel love and acceptance just as much as any of the other. But with Keith, he tends to hide his positive emotions just as much and just as quickly as he tends to expel his negative emotions. We see this in how he smiles when Lance can’t see him, we see this in how he smiles to himself when Lance is out of the pod, we see this in how he leans against a tree trunk while the arusians are celebrating, we see this in his controlled, conflicted expressions at seeing his dad - although that last one is, admittedly, a bit different. (Keith’s not exactly happy at seeing his dad, he’s pretty conflicted and hence the conflicted expression, but i digress.) He’s more free about it with Shiro, because he knows Shiro won’t shut him down. He’s more free about it when he’s alone or in charge, because, again, he won’t be shut down; we see that in episode one as he grins before plummetting over the cliff, we see that when he smiles at hunk after their scaultrite mission, we see that when he grins at Lance after nailing him with a spore-ball.

But when he doesn’t know whether it’s appropriate or whether it will be appreciated, he tends to distance himself from the people or to suppress it. So when meeting new aliens the reason he’s quiet isn’t really because he doesn’t want to talk to them, it’s really because he isn’t confident in his ability to make a desirable first impression so he’d rather just enjoy himsel fin private rather than screw things up for himself. And this next part has no solid canon backing, it’s just me taking characters and putting them in probably situations, but I think he admires lance for being able to talk to people so easily, especially because it’s a skill he lacks. He can’t really do diplomacy.

Keith knows his behavior is problematic. This ties into what I just said - he doesn’t really trust himself to create the right first impression. On the balmera mission with Lance he says “That - actually... is a better idea.” meaning he’s fully capable of seld-reflection and he’s aware that there are better ways to do things. He’s very conscious of the fact that he’s not in control of his emotions, and not only that, but he’s not willing to fix it - We see that when Shiro tells him he needs to control his emotions and he kind of brushes it off with a “I know. I’ve just had a lot on my mind.” He doesn’t like to talk about the fact that he needs to get in control, but he definitely knows it.

It’s why he turns around and frowns when Lance tells him to calm down before they go see the blade of marmora - he knows he’s being irrational and he’s sour at being called out on it but because he knows lance is right, he doesn’t bite back. It makes sense to him that lance would say that, but he doesn’t have a response to it other than just shutting himself off and removing himself from the situation before he makes it worse. It’s revisited that same episode by shiro when he asks Keith if keith’s okay, and mentions how Keith “kind of blew up at everyone back there.” Keith’s immediate response is that he’s fine - he does this several times in season two. He’s not mature enough to deal with his emotions, and this is exactly what Shiro points out to him - and he’s not mature enough to deal with that, either, despite the fact that he knows it.

This is just kind of emphasized in the simulation later that same episode, when brain shiro says “you’re thinking of yourself, as usual.” Keith is evidently very aware that he gets carried away with his emotions, and one of his fears is that he won’t be able to control it - you’re thinking of yourself, as usual. The “as usual” is important - it proves that Keith knows it’s a deeply ingrained trait that he has had for a very long time, and he’s afraid that it’s going to continue to create problems for him. It’s important to him that Shiro says this, because given that he places a heavy importance on the feeling of being part of a family and that Shiro is the closest thing he has to it, Shiro saying this is the best way to force Keith to face the problem, and the best way to make him grow and learn to choose the better option (which is choosing voltron over his blood-related family - this growth is what awakens his blade later on.) It really is build up toward Keith taking over the black lion, but until season 3 airs in september I can still hope for black paladin allura.

If you read this far, and you have stuff to say, dude hmu let’s chat about it. I hope it was just kinda helpful, insightful, and intriguing. If you draw some other conclusion about Keith’s character than I have I’d love to hear it. I might reblog this post again and add more to it so.. check back! if you’re interested. It’s 2:00 am and I probably missed a bunch of stuff I was thinking about when I started writing this post but whatever, wish me luck on my history exam tomorrow

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