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#this does not match my notes at all

ashfordlabs · 2 years

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romance snippet tag!

rules: describe your wip's main romance in a 1-4 sentence snippet

i was tagged by @verba-writing thank you so much!!

okay so this really got away from me. and when i say got away from me, i mean, i don't know if it even fits what was asked, plus it's long (longer than where cursed bodies is currently at), but in my defence, i really wanted to do this tag and this scene but i didn't have it written, so everything you're gonna read was pulled from my cb plans and just written. and i think that's a perfectly fine reason to write so much, especially when eli and theo are involved. and speaking of, this is in eli's pov, if it was in theo's, it would be shorter (but not by much).

tagging (no pressure!): @kaiusvnoir @emelkae @imbrisvastatio + anyone else who wants to take part!

"we shouldn't be doing this," was what theo said to him when they pulled apart, words barely above a whisper that for a moment, eli barely heard him.

eli cleared his throat, suddenly being thrown in the present, his mind not lingering on the feeling of theo’s lips on his, the feeling of his hands gripping onto eli’s shirt as if it were a lifeline─ absolutely not. he refused to let himself think of it despite how much he wanted to pull theo in close and do it all again, because theo was right, they shouldn’t have done it and what was worse was that it was eli who crossed the line.

“no,” he replied, inching away from theo. “you’re right. you were having a moment and I─”

“you do realise that if i really thought that, i would've pushed you away?” theo stated, brow arched as his eyes stared into eli’s own, making him squirm under the contact. he always had that effect on him, one look and eli felt like theo was looking right through him. mayumi had said that was just theo, and while that might’ve been true, eli hadn’t met someone like theo, and that fucking terrified him. “there was no taking advantage. but. . . I shouldn’t have done it.”

it shouldn’t have stung, but it did. yet what did eli expect? theo was dealing with his brother which was its own problem, especially after theo had admitted there was more to it moments before they kissed. and eli, well, eli had already fucked up by falling for him, but eli’s number one rule was that he didn’t get involved with clients. and no matter how many times eli had tried to remind himself that theo wasn’t just a client, but more of a partner involved in this, yet the end of it all, theo was still the one paying them.

it also meant this; that once nathaniel ashford was behind bars, or maybe dead as eli had been hoping for since they had started this, theo had no right to stay with them. he wasn’t like henry or eli and despite the similarities in their lifestyle, he wasn’t even like Dorothea, meaning he could walk away from it all. go back to france and live his life, whatever that was, without them. all while eli would go back to being a gun for hire, working at persephone’s and wallowing in the what could have been that was theodore ashford.

just like he was in that moment, too wrapped up in the what if of a future that even eli didn’t know whether it would happen or not. that was enough for him to realise just had deep he had fallen.

“whatever you’re thinking, it’s wrong, like usual,” theo said, pulling eli out of his thoughts.

“how do you know what I’m thinking?”

“I don’t, just that you’re overthinking.” he then reached a hand forward and gently cupped eli’s cheek, the older man leaning into theo’s touch. “you get this faraway look on your face, you do it a lot, especially when we’re talking about my brother.”

those times, eli was simply thinking about all the ways he could murder nathaniel ashford in theo’s name, well, maybe more for theo since those thoughts happen every time theo admitted some cruel truth about how his older brother treated him. it was present now more than ever upon the discovery of just how trapped theo truly was.

“when I say we shouldn’t be doing this,” theo continued. “I don’t mean never, I mean now, because I can’t give my brother more ammunition against me. we’ve hopefully gotten him off my back after what we did tonight, but. . .” he trailed off, hand slipping from eli’s cheek as he tried to figure out the words to say, his fingers beginning to fiddle with the metal chain he always had wrapped around his wrist. without thinking, eli reached for theo’s hand and in doing so, pulling theo’s focus to them where he began twisting the rings around eli’s fingers. “I want this. . . I want you. . . but I can’t. . . I can’t be seen with you in public, can’t fucking walk down the street with you without someone pointing a camera at us and posting it everywhere─”

“I don’t care about that,” eli interrupted. “if you’re worried about people connecting the dots between me and what I do, you shouldn’t. you can’t do what I do without being careful and I am.”

he didn’t want to admit that there was part of him that wanted to say he’d give it all up just for theo. it’s a small part of him, but it existed, and it was just another thing that terrified him, and it would appear that the list was ever growing.

“that’s not. . . my brother finds out and it’ll be over before it even starts,” theo admitted, voice wavering as he spoke. “I don’t want to hide but I have too because otherwise my brother─” he then cut himself off, eli unsure whether it was for his sake, or theo’s own, but either way, he knew what theo couldn’t say out loud. he had heard it.

“are you sure you don’t want me to kill him?” he found himself asking. the way in which he did, sounded like he was joking, but he had said it enough times for theo to know by this point, that he well and truly meant it.

theo glared at him─ an expression that no longer had any effect on eli, but rather made him laugh. it was strange to think that there was once a time in which eli would look at theo and only seen some intimidating force of nature, but as time went on, and as eli learned the kind of person he was, theo became someone who would simply adapt to survive. that the intimidation he once displayed came from surrounding himself with criminals and trying to act as if he could fit alongside them, only to eventually find out he didn’t have to do that and upon that discovery, the true theo started to show through.

“okay, no killing.”

“thank you.” and the way he said it, so fucking earnestly that eli couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“what about after?” he then asked.

“after?”

“after your brother is in jail?” eli clarified.

theo frowned, gaze drifting to their hands which now were intertwined, something eli hadn’t been aware of. and there was something about the way that theo’s hand feels in his that eli couldn’t help but feel as if it belonged there.

“are you sure you want to?” theo questioned. “we’ll have people breathing down our necks, especially trying to figure out who’s good enough to be seen with theodore ashford. wouldn’t be surprised if people are writing about thea and I as we speak.”

with his free hand, eli grabbed hold of theo’s chin─ ensuring he was gentle with the way he did so as a means of not scaring him and given the fact that he didn’t flinch or pull away meant that he managed to succeed in doing so.

“let them talk. a bunch of nosey bitches isn’t going to stop me from getting what I want.”

theo’s cheeks flushed red, the colour noticeable against his pale cheeks. “are you─”

“I have been sure since I heard you call me by my actual name.”

and he had. there weren’t many people that knew about his true name, that elijah clarke was nothing more than a fake identity created to disconnect himself from the person he once was. only henry knew what the name was because he had been the one to ask him if he was sure that’s what it was when eli had given it. never once did he think he would tell someone like theo, but he had, a truth for a truth, and once he had heard his name fall from theo’s tongue, spoken in a way that made eli no longer want to hate it.

and when theo said it again, it was addictive.

“you’re not going to make this waiting easy, are you?”

theo shook his head, looking back up at him. “when we leave this room, we go back to being strictly platonic and professional.”

eli nodded as he begun to pack everything away, ignoring theo’s eyes watching his every move. there was also something he hated about the way that theo was just sitting there, not doing anything to stop him. he reminded himself that it was better this way, repeating the words like a mantra. they can’t start something that was at risk of ending before anything could really happen. platonic and professional, that was how it should be.

but then, it wasn’t until eli’s hand reached for the door handle that theo’s words truly sunk in, causing him to turn around. “wait. . .”

“you’re a goddamn idiot. . .”

it was an insult, but it was said with such fondness that he couldn’t even be mad about it.

he was fucking screwed (not that he wasn't already).

#this does not match my notes at all #but am i mad?#no because i expected that from these two #( wip ) cursed bodies.#( b ) writings.#( cb / relationship ) eli and theo.

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morocosmos · 11 days

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FFXIVWrite 2024 Day 11 - Surrogate

Masterlist Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV Characters/Pairings: Leofard Myste & Warrior of Light Rating: Teen & Up Additional Notes: Takes place at during HW patch 3.5. Major spoilers for the Shadow of Mhach alliance raid questline. Ao3 Link

Lady Raimille. The picture painted by Stacia's tale was everything an orphaned child could want from a parent. Everything except that she'd passed on too soon — but not before giving her foster son one last gift.

The noblewoman’s real portrait hung above them, enshrined in Leofard’s quarters. Presiding over his affairs and his family; watching over the man himself. Moro'a knew that paintings like this cost a considerable sum to commission, and that taking care of them required specific knowledge and attention; unexpected obligations for a sky pirate.

But the painting gleamed, immaculately free of blemishes. “I had wondered as to the origin of his vessel's naming,” Cait Sith said softly, his voice touched with emotion. “‘Tis a most beautiful painting.”

Moro’a’s time in Ishgard had also taught him that portraits like this one were made to memorialise — a likeness captured in brushstrokes, preserved from time. Remember me as I was, in this moment. Remember what this person means to us. Situated where their loved ones could gaze upon them, and never forget.

I doubt I'll ever feel worthy to sit where he sat.

Throughout their adventures, Leofard had pretended as though the portrait wasn’t there, and it was all Moro’a had needed to know not to bring it up. He’d accepted it without judgement, without ever considering otherwise. What was he here for, if not to hide from ghosts and broken hearts; from memory?

But now that Stacia had told them what Leofard would never impart himself, the pieces that made up the leader of the Redbills had finally begun to click: why a man who prized freedom so highly would build his new home a stone's throw from the Holy See, and why the loss of his airship had made Leofard retreat into himself, like a creature seeking familiar refuge.

It seems she kept him safe until the very end, Utata had said, and Moro’a’s heart had clenched so tight that he thought it might shatter.

It wasn’t any of his business. The voidsent had been stopped, and Cait Sith had found a new home. His time with the Redbills was coming to a close. It’d been an engaging distraction, which was precisely what Moro’a had needed; there were no stones left to overturn, no more accidental revelations to be had. He would go his separate way, into the unknown, and then…

Later, as he was stowing the few essentials he’d brought into the manacutter, Moro’a heard footsteps approaching. He turned to see Leofard, who was already dressed in a clean set of clothes and red-tinted goggles. “I almost forgot,” the sky pirate said, as breezy as could be now as he held something out in his hand. A Redbill scarf.

“You didn’t have to,” Moro’a murmured, feeling a strange mixture of reluctance and guilt.

“And I say otherwise, Warrior. I reckon you’ve done more than you’ll ever need to to have earned this.” His hand stretched closer, and Moro’a considered refusing. He was ready to quit this place, to move on. I’m not who you think I am, he wanted to say.

Instead he found himself reaching out for the scarf, and tucking it in with the rest of his things.

If, after he'd said his farewells, his hand reached under the collar of his shirt to gently hold the necklace that rested against his chest, to remember, he was the only one who needed to know.

#ffxivwrite2024 #ffxivwrite #kae scribbles #moro'a kihshimo #leofard myste #cait sith #hhhhhh this prompt is loaded with multiple meanings and i feel the need to yap about it #tag essay incoming #obviously it's about raimille; leofard's surrogate mother #and it's also about haurchefant if that wasn't already clear (in which case my bad)#except that moro'a's still deep in grief and coping by. not processing things beyond what he knows is necessary to keep going #so it's also about how this whole adventure is a replacement for what moro'a really needs to be doing; a temporary reprieve #there's the moment moro'a realises what raimille means to leofard and what this almost does to him #he doesn't acknowledge it here but it's because he had a surrogate parent of his own #well sort of #moro was his friend and confidant and inspiration; she nurtured his interest in the world beyond their own when he was a kid #she's the reason he went to eorzea when hell broke loose in their little part of corvos and why he's an adventurer at all #he doesn't know if she's dead; he has no idea what happened to her after leaving his clan #and so he isn't thinking of her here; partly because he's trying not to #but the feelings are still there; buried and waiting to be torn open (that happens in stormblood)#ig if circumstances had been a little different moro'a and leofard may have wound up becoming closer a lot sooner????#but that isn't what happened lol #last thing more of an extra note: the necklace is precious to moro'a and what ties a lot of this together #it was originally a gift from moro which was lost in the sea of clouds after moro'a rescued emmanellain from the vundu #after which haurchefant took it upon himself to replace the necklace by matching the original gemstones as closely as he could #the necklace represents the two people moro'a loved most. after taking up goldsmithing he starts to add more pendants for others #starting with ysayle and mide #okkkkk bye

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ajdrawshq · 2 months

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honestly i shouldntve been even slightly surprised that i got so attached to temenos bc like. i was just hyperfixating on isat. of course i latched onto the sillyguy with white hair and trauma and god awful vulnerability issues. among other things

#i need to make some kinda web map or venn diagram with all my favorite characters just to see how many things match up #surely that wouldnt have any adverse effects or reveal anything abt myself that ill have to unpack later. surely not #side note i think loop and temenos should meet purely bc i think putting them in the same room would be disastrous #does this count as spoilers. eh #isat spoilers #octopath traveler 2 spoilers #octotag

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sysig · 11 months

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It always seems like such a good idea in the moment (Patreon)

The first four are in reference to a great idea I had of - since I’ve finished my lower-limit page number testing for making books; shorter fics take up less page space, and just increasing the font size isn’t as handsome! - simply making a mini book! All it would take would be to halve the pages again, right? Just cut them right down the middle! Easy peasy!

As I’m sure you can tell by the second, no. Not easy peasy. Difficult painful un-fun >:(

Obviously I still did it tho! What do you take me for, someone who could have the idea of an even tinier book and then not do something about it?? No It’s also the only one so far to have a paper bookmark rather than a ribbon!

All told it’s a bit smaller than your average manga (I love the monochrome covers on these under their dust jackets haha <3) - you can see even with effectively doubling up the pages by halving their size, it was still very small-spined!

A quick shot while it was still being made hehe ♪ It’s Out! Paired here - and the earlier one, just without its dust jacket haha - with my Zarla SC2 collection (ft. Family, Negotiations are Going...Well, and With No Obligation) - I absolutely kicked myself after the fact for not including Out as the run-up to everything, I was really trying to make a full collection in probably-chronological order! Out would’ve been a perfect start! And it only would’ve taken like four pages!!

Ah well, it was still quite a learning experience - I probably wouldn’t make another standalone of under 4k-ish just for formatting reasons but I did get some good ideas of how to do so if I wanted to! Although, my next project is going to be even more of a formatting nightmare........I’ll get there when I get there! Lol

#Doodles #The impulsive thoughts are always the funnest! But then it's all a matter of actually putting them into reality...#Ahh well like I said under the cut it was a learning experience! And I really wanted a physical copy of Out haha ♪#I don't think I've ever mentioned it - not even in my pre-fic notes :0 - but Out was another one of my inspirations for Drinking Game #I mean - the drinking lol obviously but I hadn't considered what VUX drinking would be like before reading it :)#I wanted to pair it with both physical copies hehe ♫ I'm happy I attempted it! And I have a better foundation to build on in the future!#I ended up using the scrap leftover from making such a small cover as the bookmark haha - and I picked the covers so they'd almost-match :)#They go together! But not quite! Just enough!#The sting of creation has worn off - it's actually been a while since I've made a quick book! - so the itch is starting to come back haha #Well - almost lol - the formatting is still........but I do want to do it! Especially now that I've got a hand-in-hand hobby to go with it #All that later ♪ For now snakes!#And also spiders I am also the same when spiders #I've been escorting a lot of spiders outside lately and pretty much all of them fall under the moniker of ''darling'' to me lol #Still no luck on finding a jumping spider :( But I also haven't got an enclosure set up yet either #There's this one booth that always has such adorable and pretty jumping spider enclosures ahhh I might have to break and get one someday #Same place where I got to hold the snake in fact! :D She was a love <3 Beautiful full-grown female cornsnake if memory serves #She was rather wiggly - she was tired and fussy and didn't feel like being handled by a stranger but she was so polite about it #A real delight to handle <3 And I got to see her babies! So cute and tiny!#The rest is more SCII fic stuff haha ♪ Rereading the Pirate fic was a lot of fun :) Intentionally avoiding Vargas fic(s) does make me a bit #Well I really like Vargas still lol it is candy to my brain so any gesture even remotely in that direction is very exciting haha #I'm perfectly happy with the rest for now tho! I have plenty of things to read and make! >:3c #Heck there's still a SCII fic I haven't read yet that I want to!! I just have to get all my previous SCII thoughts out of my head first haha #I will tho >:3c Always always ♪♫#SCII

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rosenbraut · 2 months

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On that note, are people listening to a secret version of CR songs I don’t have access to where she serenades women with glittering eroticism? All I get from her stuff is that bratty prom Queen aesthetic, MAYBE beer-and-glitter sticky bar bathroom at MOST in terms of eroticism, and the pronouns I recall are either neutral or male. All the power to her and her cute little outfits but I’m just very puzzled by the whole ordeal. I suffered through that whole album and I’m asking in good faith and with complete honesty. What are we all talking about. I would love to understand. What people are saying sounds so interesting and I want to have fun too.

#some post on the lack of sensuality in media had someone in the notes #going ‘omg that’s why CR is so popular — her stuff is so erotic’ and I’m like.#????? the girl who sounds like she’s making up her songs on the spot half tipsy in a crowded bar?#Dean Winchester eroticism I guess?!#I KNOW it’s not my type of music. I’ve accepted that. but it still just does not match what people are saying?!#all I remember is that godawful Is it casual now thing that is SO grating #(I KNOW it’s just not my type of music so I’m not being a bitch on purpose. good for you if you love her style and I mean that.)#and the other one is her talking about going on a date with some guy?

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wizardnuke · 2 years

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tell me whyyyy I had to repeatedly assure these 13 and 11 yr olds that they were allowed to do whatever they wanted with my nails. any designs they've been wanting to try. "what if they look bad" it's paint!! on my fingernails!! I don't care!! it's fun!! "..can I use glitter" hell yes you can. "no one has wanted glitter" well I do!! let those kids be messy.. let em Have Fun with art. and self expression. my sister was like "are you sure? they're not gonna look good" In Front Of Them and I was like okay and so what!! these two r Thrilled at the idea of being given blanket permission to Do Whatever. they're 13 and 11 years old. let those kids be silly. anyway i love what they did they're so mismatched and messy and glitter bombed and they rock. I love those kids so much. let them have fun..

#clothes and makeup and nail polish r supposed to be Fun do what you Want be Silly and Express Yourself #I hate that they're so worried abt Being Pretty. youre prettiest when youre happy with how you look. my god #I did tell the 15 year old her foundation is way too orange for her but yknow. that's an assist. I'm taking her to state comp for french #horn in a few months <3 she started playing horn bc I played it. I love that kid. I love those fuckin kids.#the 17 yr old is pretty okay she's got eldest sibling syndrome bad. I still think she's gay and has Issues with it #bc. that family is megachurch suburban white christian all the fuckin way #swear to god I'm not just assuming she's a lesbian she has straight up told me she likes girls but that doesn't mean she's gay. hope she #figures that out one way or another. it is fuckinf suffocating in that household sometimes but. could be a lot worse #side note. 15 yr old is Literally a genius. shes so happy whenever I'm around bc I'm the only person who understands music like she does #but. she's better than me. perfect pitch. she can play anything by ear. but I've got her matched for horn skills at least #it's her biggest special interest . heehoo she always infodumps abt music to meee

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