#this fucker has been taking over my brain pls save me

[wonderful-bellies]

HOO boi I worked hard on this one. A bit of a sequence thanks to the conversations I've had about pred Will with a couple certain nerds. We bave decided Will is without a doubt a very gluttonous pred.

Also! @nightmarevore wrote an amazing lil story to go with this art! It's really hekin good and you should go check it out!

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (2)

pairing: taehyung x f reader

genre: horror au, yandere au, saw/john kramer au

synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughs, abusive relationships, stalking etc. dont read if triggered. there are some ?? fucked up things in this but idk what to word them. but also mentions of self harm/self hating thoughts.

wordcount: 2.2k

a/n: unedited so pls forgive me for any mistakes and lmk if u want to be added to a taglist^^

series masterlist

part one part three

You’d spent a couple of hours in the café with Taehyung. Jimin popped over every now and then to talk with his best friend and to make sure you had everything you needed while there.

When you left, Jimin wrapped his arms around you as he bid his farewell, “It was lovely to meet you Y/N! Please, don’t be a stranger!” You simply nodded your head as you pulled away from the hug. You grinned back at him as he moved to Taehyung. You opened the door, carefully stepping outside to leave the boys with some privacy.

Once the door shut Jimin’s smile beamed, “so she’s the girl you’re always talking about, Flower? Right?”

“Yeah she is, thanks for that though man but, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later?”

Taehyung smiled as he made his way towards you, you looked up and he swore, he saw a hint of nervousness in your eyes, probably because it’s dark, he thought to himself. “Come on then, let’s get you home.” He held out his hand, you were quick to grab a hold of it. Taehyung intertwined your fingers as he tugged you back across the road, “it’ll take about twenty minutes, you gonna be alright to walk?” he glanced down to you.

Your heart warmed at the way his eyes smiled with him, “I’ll be fine, thank you.” He seemed happy enough with your answer as you fell into a steady rhythm. You felt a little conflicted, you may not know Taehyung well but he had an energy about him that made you wanna spill every secret you knew, you’d shared pointless stories while you were at the café, having learnt Taehyung was a family oriented person, he loved art and he was passionate about little subjects other people would deem small. Yet he had a warmth that you’d not seen in anyone else.

Fuck it, you thought, he’s shown nothing but kindness, you may aswell open upto him… atleast.

“I was in an abusive relationship.” Taehyung felt himself smirk but quickly wiped it from his face, he arched an eyebrow as he looked down to you, “it was my first too. It left me, fucked up, in a way. Not that I wasn’t already fucked up.” Progress. He squeezed your hand in reassurance, go on… “I’ve always been insecure and uh, uncomfortable with the way I look. After that disaster of a relationship, it left me worse for wear.” you kept your eyes on the road, you didn’t want to see the judgement on his face yet it didn’t stop you from carrying on, “I never told my friends or family about it. None of them knew I was struggling before it anyway so I’ve been letting it tear me apart.”

“Why tell me then doll?”

You risked a glance at his face. There were no traces of judgement or pity. Swallowing down your nerves, you added softly, “I had to tell someone. Even if that someone is a random person— who showed me kindness when I needed it.”

Taehyung felt his heart clench, she’s already trusting me… this was easier than I thought. “Don’t feel like you need to tell me anything baby,” I already know it all.

You felt your cheeks burn from the pet name, how could something so simple, affect you this much? God, talk about a schoolgirl crush. “That’s the thing, I don’t feel like I need to. I just, I want to.”

Taehyung presented you with his boxy grin, “Then you can tell me anything you want, whether it's big or small.”

“Thank you Taehyung.” It was like the sun had shone down on you, the simplest gesture meant the world. Here you had a person willing to talk to you about your darkest secrets. A person willing to listen. Someone who had no ties to your family, which made it easier for the words to flow from you, “It’s like, I was this happy, care-free kid. I smiled without forcing it and when I laughed… I felt free. I didn’t feel like I was losing my breath. Not like I do now, everytime I do so much as breathe, it's like these roots have twisted around my lungs and everytime a breath escapes, they crush them tighter. It’s like a reminder. You’re never fully alive. You’re never fully happy. Pain overrides any other emotion. I’ve learned that, after all those years. I used to think, I’d never accept it.” A solemn silence fell over you. The roots squeezed your lungs even tighter as you whispered, “I’m scared of living.”

“Flower, some people are anchored to this world by their feet, others by their fears. You don’t have to voice it, I know you’re scared. You have your fears. Your demons. The thing you were doing at the cafe; is destructive. Anything that harms you, is destructive. Fuck, it may only be something as simple as picking your skin but that can lead into bigger things.”

It already has.

“Taehyung, I know that. I knew when it started but it helps, it lessens my anxiety. You’re the only one to have picked up on it. My friends… they don’t notice. If they do, they don’t mention it.”

Taehyung scoffed, “You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?”

Your mouth was sewn shut. You didn’t want to admit it but, there was some truth to his words.

You walked home in silence.

That night haunted you. It forced its way into your dreams. It clouded your thoughts when Yoongi and Hoseok were with you. When you’d spent time together, you were vacant. A soulless body. It was like a poison had found its way into your brain, second guessing relationships and people’s motives.

‘You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?’

Why were you letting it get in your head so much? You knew your friends. They were the only ones you felt safe with. They were your friends for a reason, they supported you (albeit sometimes they had a sense of… tough love) but they always had your back.

You didn’t mention Taehyung to Yoongi or Hoseok. You felt as though that was something that should be kept between you and him. Plus, the duo would’ve felt betrayed and upset by the fact you had wandered into foreign territory alone and found company in a complete stranger-- especially after they’d warned you about the whole Jigsaw shit.

To save the arguments, you went about your life as usual. You helped out your Mum with the flower shop, the array of flowers made you realise how the simplest things were beautiful. That of course, didn’t include yourself. Rancid thoughts clouded what was once, a tranquil space. Those god forsaken roots hadn’t lessened. Breathing was still difficult— as was pretending that you were absolutely fine.

You avoided mirrors, a quick glance could wreck your entire mood. You hated people taking photos of you, it made you scrutinise every single thing.

My nose is too big.

My chin is too round.

My face just shouts ugly.

My legs are disgusting.

My stomach is embarrassing.

My boobs are weird.

Not to say, you didn’t have these thoughts on the regular. However, the more you eluded your appearance, the voices lessened. You could ignore the way you looked, forget it completely. Often convinced yourself you were a plain person. The stereotypical norm: someone that no one would look twice at. It helped you get on with everyday tasks, it helped you ease the anxiety.

After all, every flower must grow through dirt.

But how would you react? If you knew, he had all the pictures of you?

Tuesdays you worked at your Dad’s garage. You didn’t know much about cars but you enjoyed his company. As well as spending time with Hobi and Yoongi. You often found yourself pranking the former with Yoongi, little jokes that luckily, didn’t piss Hobi off too much.

Today though, you were late. You’d had to spend more time trying to find the more appropriate clothing… you didn’t want people to see the slashed lines of red that littered your body.

After you messily threw an outfit together, you made your way down to the garage. You found your eyes trained on the silver Nissan Skyline, mouth agape as you collided into something.

You felt hands grab your shoulders, “Watch where you’re going,” Yoongi brought his hands to ruffle your hair, “gotta be careful while we’ve got that here kidda. That fuckers expensive.” He released a chuckle as you rolled your eyes, softly elbowing him out the way.

Your dad was under the bonnet, a box of tools were scattered around his feet. Organised mess, your Dad was infamous for it.

“Sorry I’m late Pops, what do you want me to do?”

Not even a second later, your Dad turned to face you, “Ah darling, not a lot while we’re working on this. Can you go make us some drinks?”

“Yeah course, I won’t be too long!”

You passed Hoseok on your way to the little kitchen situated at the back, he sent you a wink as he shouted across, “Coffee for me kidda!”

Three cups were spread in front of you. Americano for Yoongi, Coffee for Hobi and Cappuchino for Pops. Just as you were about to shout the guys, a presence had situated itself comfortably behind you. Before you had time to turn around, a deep baritone voice addressed you, “You not gonna ask me if I want a cup baby?”

You felt yourself still. You knew that voice. The voice that was haunting your dreams, even your wake.

You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?

Taehyung watched the way your body tensed, your shoulders stiffened, your breathing altered. Hm, she’s nervous. How cute.

“What are you doing here?” the words passed your lips, delivered as though they were encased in thorns.

A deep chuckle filled the room, “What do you think I’m doing here?” Taehyung inched closer, the atmosphere was almost palpable. You felt the way his chest brushed against your back, a sudden chill shot through you as he brought his hand up— which grazed against your skin whilst he moved your hair from your neck. His eyes turned hungry at the sight of your goosebumps. Your heart raced when he brought his head lower, lips next to your ear, “You think I’m here for you baby?” I am… but you don’t need to know that just yet.

You spun around, squashed between the table and Taehyung. Heat radiated off of him, how can he be so hot? It felt like you were in a furnace (while face to face with the Devil.)

Fear stricken, you tried to fight through it. Don’t show him. Don’t let him see. With a sarcastic smile plastered on your face you retorted, “Of course you are Taehyung. You tracked me down using the information I gave you and figured out which Garage is ours.”

The sarcasm was practically dripping from your tone like venom. Taehyung felt himself stifle a laugh.

You just didn’t know. In all fairness, you didn’t know anything. How would you know that Taehyung had done exactly that, except he’d done it months prior.

He lowered his head to yours, your hands raised to push him away but Taehyung wrapped his fingers around each wrist and tugged them to lay between you before you even had the chance to nudge him. You felt like you were stuck in a Venus fly trap.

“I’m not some type of sicko, doll.”

You were just a naive, misunderstood, little girl.

“I’m getting my car fixed. Your dad’s working on it right now.”

Your body visibly relaxed, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Oh, the Skyline? Wait, you have a car and made us walk back to mine the other week?”

“I didn’t make you walk for the fun of it baby, my car is literally in the shop so obviously it was broken.”

Only, the car was perfectly fine when you met him those weeks ago. He had made the pair of you walk so he’d have more of a chance to speak to you and to touch you. The only way he could follow you around without being suspicious, especially at your dads work, was to have a somewhat reasonable excuse (which resulted in him messing with the engine). He knew although you’d shied away from him that night, he could easily win you back around.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Taehyung. I’m also uh, sorry about how that night ended.”

“Don’t sweat it, I know what I said came off a little... weird but I didn’t mean any harm.”

With an angelic smile on your face in return, Taehyung knew that soon, that smile would morph into a grateful one. After all, he was going to help you.

Until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Live or Die.

Your choice.

He had first seen you out and about last year. However, he had first heard of you when the guys working for him had slammed a file onto his desk, Subject #13 was scrawled on the top. Filled to the brim with pictures of you and everything about your life down to the littlest detail.

L/N Y/N— D.O.B 03.11.02— 19 years old.

Phone number: XXXXX.XXXXX

Female. Lives with parents at: 171 Norm Street, Falfield F91 7DW. Was outcasted at school but befriended a Jeon Jeongguk [19 years, male. 92 Carriers Road, Cressage CY5 3EA. XXXXX.XXXXX].

Ex partner is Kang Jaehyo. [23 years. Male. Abusive and manipulative, laid his hands on Y/N multiple times leaving bruises and scars. Sexual abuse was also discovered. Have been broken up for 4 months. 13 Walkers Drive, Falfield, F73 1DL XXXXX.XXXXX]

Y/N has suicidal ideations (as well as 7 attempts). Self harms by “cutting” “punching” and “scratching”. Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety Disorder on May 13th 2016. Works at Toret Garage and Letty’s Floral. Both places owned by parents.

The web of lies and deceit had barely scraped the surface.

[kariachi]

Okay i straight got ready for bed but now I must hop back on the computer because I have thoughts in my brain

Namely thoughts of the “wait a second you could totally crossover Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles with Digimon, I mean technically you could do it with anything but come on, Digimon” variety, because I’m sure you’ve met me

And of course the obvious choice is to place it after the main series, when things are calmer and you don’t have to figure out how the fuck to change shit to accommodate digis without completely destroying the story

“But Achi, they couldn’t keep the cool bond things from the first world so-” No. Because those fuckers were specifically exclusive to one country and one world and were actual gods. Digimon have already been established as spirits that exist even without computers and shit and could, theoretically, exist in every world. This would involve our heroes just ending up in one of the ones where you can actually bond with one instead of one of the ones where they just exist as a result of our hopes and dreams and nebulous shit like that. Could totally keep the digis

But then, you get the other option, which is to place it during the main series, which would allow for things like the clones getting their own digimon partners and all the support and full personhood that implies despite them being ‘just images’ which would be amazing. Let’s see Reed respond to that

(Please picture Acid Tokyo but our main lot have digimon. Please picture Syaoran’s own digimon fighting him after he goes full ‘clone on a mission’ in order to protect Fai and his digi. They don’t know what’s going on or why he’s suddenly acting like this but they know he would regret what he’s trying to do and so they do their best to stop him. I’m picturing him managing to kill his own digi in the process before Syaoran .5 can sweep in and get involved. The others end up taking care of their egg for the next while, eventually leaving them in the care of probably Yuuko while Big Plot Stuff happens. Tiny baby digi insists on joining the ‘wander the multiverse’ crew after everything is said and done so they can get a body for their partner. Sakura’s digi ends up staying in Clow to watch over the other Sakura, since the kids don’t have digis of their own)

Also Fai’s first curse gets triggered so much sooner! Because he’s powerful as hell but they hit a Digital World and the first mega they come across sets his ‘kill a bitch’ curse going like a smoke detector at a barbeque

And guys pls, pls imagine the Ceres arc, but it ends so much differently because Fai’s digi digivolves- powered by Fai’s love of literally everybody present and all the shit going on with his emotions, possible even dark-digivolved as a result of them- and offs Ashura and the second curse just goes completely fucking haywire because it has no idea what do do with that. Because Fai didn’t kill him so must activate but Fai’s digimon partner did while powered by Fai’s emotions so, maybe activate? And it’s just even more chaos.

Y’all crests could be a thing

Sakura is Kindness of course, that’s her whole thing. Syaoran and Fai get Love because have these two ever made a decision in their lives that wasn’t in some way tied to their love of another person? Mokona gets Sincerity (of course Mokona gets a crest and a digimon partner who is obviously many times larger than her why would you ever think otherwise?) because look at her she’s either Sincerity or Light. And Kurogane I kinda wanna say Reliability but Sincerity may also work here.

I don’t know what partners they would get but I know it would be wonderful

Sakura realizes she’s a clone and gets all depressed and her partner just isn’t having any of it.

“It doesn’t matter if you were made or born or hatched or programmed! You’re my Sakura, and always will be!”

Kurogane’s partner first reaches a serious level during the Ceres arc same as Fai’s, except theirs is while they’re saving everybody from the curse gone haywire and possibly Fai’s partner also gone haywire (and gods can you picture his reaction to his digimon being the one to dark digivolve? ‘cursed twin’ shit all over again...)

Syaoran’s never reaches a high stage in the page because 1) they spend a lot of time dead or an infant, and 2) even when they are reunited eventually their bond needs to be repaired before it’s possible

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned. 

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why. 

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases. 

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one. 

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time. 

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly. 

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L  L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

[radramblog]

Adventures in the Forgotten Realms Commanders

Due to circumstances I won’t get into at time of writing (don’t worry it’s mostly good) I’ve been forced, dragged over, and required to actually fucking read all the new Commanders from Magic’s newest set, Adventures in the Forgotten Realms. I’ve only recently gotten deeper into D&D, I don’t know who like any of these clowns are (except Tiamat, obviously).

Also due to circmstances beyond my control (that are less good but understandable) my Commander night has been called off and I don’t get to play with my shiny new Cabal Coffers. It’s a bit sad, and it means I want to get my fix elsewhere.

What better way than to combine these two and just write about every AFR ‘mander? That’ll pass the time. There’s like, what, 30? I can manage that if I’m quick. Let’s get into it.

(No I’m not doing the precon cards I haven’t been staring at those all week)

Acererak the Archlich

The way I see this guy going is one of two things. You either do infinite Venture by making him free (not too hard in Black, what with Heartless Summoning, Carnival of Souls, etc.) and have a probably fine combo commander. For the record, infinite Venture does kill your opponents flat-out, BUT only because of Lost Mine of Phandelver’s Dark Pool room, and only if their life totals are lower than your deck count because you’re going to be drawing it in the process. That shouldn’t be an issue, but you never know.

The other option is just playing him fairly, which requires completing Tomb of Annihilation, and you just have a kinda mid Stax commander I guess? Eh.

Asmodeus the Archfiend

This Devil is clearly trying to echo prior Demons like Griselbrand and Vilis, but I’m not sure it’s going to be successful- if only because the mana investment means it’s a lot slower. And if he gets killed when you don’t have B up? Blown the fuck out. Add in no evasion and this is a God I’m happy to pass on.

 Barrowin of Clan Undurr

Okay so this is kind of like Alesha, in less colours and more mana, if you manage to complete a dungeon. And there aren’t that many dungeon cards, so you’re probably playing some bad ones to make up for it. This is definitely a 99’er in that Esper Dungeon precon, and certainly not a commander.

 Bruenor Battlehammer

In an attempt to solve one of Boros’s problems, Bruenor saves you a bunch of mana on equips and makes shit like Argentum Armor substantially more playable. He also gets kinda fuckin beefy with even just a few on him, hitting that 7 no matter what the first one is and 11 not long after. As far as Boros Boys go, you can do a lot worse!

 Delina, Wild Mage

Didn’t we just get this card? Like, in C21? This is harder to make busted than Rionya, but it is cheaper and works with legends, so fair call. There’s not enough “advantage” dice mechanics in Red, certainly, so you can’t go probability-mad with this, but it’s pretty decent value. It also happens to be a Shaman, so it works with that new MH2 card, and that’s fun.

 Drizzt Do’Urden

This guy has a lot of potential, and for added bonus, he has a cat! A lot of the cards that are good in this are the ones that are good in, say, Varolz, but honestly if you just want to play Selesnya Beatsticks then Drizzt might be the way to go. Can’t play him in Cats, though, unless you want to lose Kaheera, so.

 Ebondeath, Dracolich

Yeah I don’t think this one was for this format? I mean it’s super recursive, and probably a really good candidate for a Homicidal Seclusion/Deadly Wanderings deck. I think we need one or two more of that effect to make it actually playable, but I still like the idea.

Wait why isn’t this fucker a skeleton? WoTC Pls.

 Farideh, Devil’s Chosen

Look, I tried. I really tried, but there really just isn’t enough to make Farideh work yet. At least in black-border, as I think she’s probably one of the best silver-bordered commanders printed in a minute. A shame, because I sure do enjoy Tieflings, and the effect is legitimately solid if you can trigger it consistently.

 Grazilaxx, Illithid Scholar

While I imagine it’s a perfectly solid commander in their own right, basically Mono-Blue Edric but not group-huggy, where this is going to really shine is in Ninja decks. Holy shit, this is so nutty for those. Honestly, ETB decks in general are going to like them, because the choice of either taking damage and letting them draw or letting them reuse a powerful ETB is pretty tough. I like everything about this, except the art, because I’m not into tentacles no thank you.

 Gretchen Titchwillow

When Strixhaven came out, I thought Zimone was going to be the most boring Simic commander we’d ever see. But here comes Gretchen to outdo them.

Look, Simic can do good designs. Even at uncommon- Imoti, Moritte, and Eutropia are all super interesting in my opinion. But Simic being just draw and lands has become a meme, and I’m sick of it. Extremely so, for three main reasons- one, it’s boring, two, it’s been all over the place since WoTC decided +1/+1 counters being their only theme was bad (and, fair,) and three, it’s good.

Gretchen is the most boring card in the entire set, in my opinion, and I sure hope she isn’t a cool character in the lore because that’d be such a waste.

 Hama Pashar, Ruin Seeker

There are 21 venture cards in Azorius, and some of them are even good. Most of the Room effects are pretty minor, however, save for some of the endgame ones (and copying Cradle of the Death God is pointless, Atropal is legendary), so copying them isn’t actually a huge amount of value. I’d still play this in Esper Venture, but I don’t think I’d build around it.

 Icingdeath, Frost Tyrant

While this clearly isn’t built for this format, equipping this dragon with it’s own tongue is kind of a hilarious idea. You could do worse for Voltron decks, I guess, and in the 99 it’s both a thing to slap equipment on and an equipment itself- like a flying (and weaker) Halvar. Eh? I just wish the token wasn’t legendary- like yeah Flavour but this effect gets a lot worse when you can’t recur it. It’s rare that someone goes out of their way to kill an equipment that isn’t super busted, so Frost Tongue is probably hanging around for a while anyway.

Man, it feels awful if they bolt this one, huh?

 Inferno of the Star Mounts

Okay this is fucking cool. It’s a Shivan Dragon with haste, and that ability is probably pretty feasible to activate- keep in mind Braid of Fire and Neheb and the like are in the format- and combined with a swing will just kill someone. In fact, when I saw this, my brain immediately started looking for ways to shrink it, just so you can get multiple 20-damage wallops in a turn.

…there aren’t very many. But still! Even if you can’t get to 20 multiple times in a turn, getting to 21 once or twice is pretty good!

 Iymrith, Desert Doom

The fourth of our dragon cycle, because hey, it is Dungeons and Dragons. Iymrith reads basically identical to Dragonlord Ojutai, but without White- and for that kinda control deck, White is pretty nice to have. Iymrith can draw you more cards than Ojutai, but only if you’re low, in a blue deck, in Commander, so. With that said, a deck that just loads this with cheap auras/equipment might actually be pretty good, since they can load you back up on cards and keep the Voltron flowing, so, maybe? I’d honestly consider it if I didn’t already have Mono-blue Voltron as a deck.

 Kalain, Reclusive Painter

Okay this is super interesting. He is, unfortunately kinda fighting with the RB precon face, Prosper, for the new RB treasure deck, but for an uncommon there’s a fair bit going on here.

Actually, wait, is there? I thought about this for another couple seconds, and I don’t think this card actually does that much. It’s one treasure, and it benefits you a little bit for doing something you frankly don’t really want to be burning treasures on? Like it probably plays a mean Marionette Master, but everyone does that.

There really aren’t any other RB Artifact commanders, though, aside from Prosper or a partner deck. So ehhhh? Why are more people playing this than, like, Bruenor?

 Krydle of Baldur’s Gate

That’s a lot of words that don’t actually do a whole lot. I like the second ability, but Commander and especially Dimir aren’t hurting for evasion options. This is probably pretty good in Rogues, but that deck has a de facto best commander now, so. If this came out like, five years ago, it’d be kinda hype, but not anymore.

As an aside, I do kinda hate it when they just print a Tribal commander (or anything like this) that’s just miles and miles better than every other commander for that archetype, like with Anowon 2 or Edgar Markov or Anje Falkenrath. Wait….those are all vampires…….

 Minsc, Beloved Ranger

Shivam Bhatt did a fucking excellent breakdown of this character’s lore on twitter, which I recommend reading- the history of D&D’s lore is fucking wild. As it is, this seems like a pretty fun Naya commander- there’s plenty of creatures that get way better if you make them large, even if targeting Boo seems kinda pointless.

Also, I need someone to explain to me why the “Top Cards” on EDHREC for this guy right now are, like, all combo cards.

WAIT NO FIGURED IT OUT, unlike Marath he doesn’t say X can’t be 0 so you can use him as a sac outlet, for fucks sake people.

 Nadaar, Selfless Paladin

Hey remember all the things I said about the WB and WU dungeon cards? I mean, at least this guy could theoretically complete the dungeon on his own, but Mono-White is even more restrictive for what you could get, so. At least he draws a card every so often. And that anthem isn’t even remotely worth it, at all.

 Old Gnawbone

Green eating up more of the colour pie, I see. Now to be fair, I’ve pondered Mono-Green artifacts for a while, and this is probably a better leader for that list than Oviya Pashiri (but…I like her….), but beyond that I’m not sure what you’re doing with this. I guess people playing Sakiko because they think she’s actually good and not because they like her have a new commander.

This is fuckbusted in the 99 of like a million decks though. So there’s that.

 Orcus, Prince of Undeath

That…is so much mana. In a colour combo not especially great at garnering lots of it. The second ability scales fairly well, and it is a decent body on its own, but I don’t think this is going to be a particularly popular commander. Like, you have to pump 6 mana into this just to get a 2-drop back or to Infest the board? And that’s just the first time you cast it? Nahhhhh.

 Oswald Fiddlebender

Artifact Pod? Yeah, okay, sure, that seems reasonable at two mana. Keeping this mono-white was a good idea, I can’t imagine how insane this’d be in blue. I’m no artifacts expert, I’m no pod expert, but this has to be busted, right? Like surely there’s an easy way to infinite this? Someone with more brains figure it out for me, but either way it’s still a bunch of value and also a tutor in the zone.

(convert two random 2-mana rocks or wellsprings into Basalt Monolith/Rings of Brighthearth, okay that’s a good start)

 Shessra, Death’s Whisper

…ehhhhhhh. Okay, so, it’s a significantly worse Deathreap ritual in the command zone, and also a terrible Lure effect. Along with the flavour words on this taking up much more space than necessary, making the effects look much bigger and better than they are. Would it have hurt to give this deathtouch? Make it trigger on every end step? Lure more than once? I dunno, this just seems painfully weak to me. We’ve had an overabundance of Golgari commanders recently, to be fair- MH2 had 3, and before that was the enemy focused Strixhaven/C21, but that’s no excuse for this to be such trash- just look at Bruenor.

 Targ Nar, Demon-Fang Gnoll

I hope you like Gnolls, because that’s gotta be the only reason you’re playing this. Hello Tuya Bearclaw/Syr Faren/im sure a bunch of other boring commanders, this is another one of you. This looks so bad next to the Gruul precon (which is apparently somehow the first Gruul precon) and, well, every other RG general from the past couple years (save, again, Tuya Bearclaw). Even the fuckin Walking Dead guy is cooler than this.

 The Tarrasque

Disappointment part one over here is at time of writing the only commander from this set with a fat zero decks. Considering there were like 10 commanders at that number when I last checked, people are clearly trying out the set, so The Tarrasque being abandoned is particularly sad. It just…doesn’t do anything? It’s the fucking Tarrasque, and it doesn’t have trample, or a fear ability, or anything? Ward 10 is cute, basically being hexproof unless they have infinite mana (or an uncounterable spell), but really? I want more than this idiot for my 9 fucking mana commander. Ugh.

 Tiamat

I believe I’ve talked about Tiamat before, when she got spoiled, but I can’t be arsed finding that and dredging it up. I’m still disappointed, basically, especially since I’ve now read her statblock and know what she actually does. They could’ve given her a cool ability per head like Cromat, or had her recur like she does in the lore, or something. I genuinely would have preferred if she was an Emrakul-style massive game-ender (with a no-reanimation no bullshit clause) than this. How utterly meh.

 Trelasarra, Moon Dancer

This is literally just Ajani’s Pridemate but Selesnya and in the zone. Also you scry. Sure? It does also have two relevant creature types I guess, and they’d probably be good in a Soul Sisters deck. But it’s not like Selesnya was hurting for Lifegain commanders- this is basically just Lathiel but much leaner and voltron-ier.

 Varis, Silverymoon Ranger

Wait you can’t even play this in Esper Venture, fuck. With Flash effects, you can start clearing dungeons well quick enough, but like, for what, a Wolf? And these defensive keywords aren’t getting you anywhere either. Blegh.

Side note- I’m a big fan of tokens, and collecting various token arts, and I was extremely disappointed when I found out that the Wolf token from this set is just…the Zendikar one again? They didn’t reuse the 3/3 Angel or the Goblin or even the Zombie, why just that one? Something must have happened behind the scenes here.

Also….Silverymoon? That sounds like shit.

 Volo, Guide to Monsters

Hey, I know you, you’re from that one book. As much as Anti-Tribal sounds fun, I’m pretty sure this just turns into generic Simic value. Copying things is fun, I suppose, though not working with Legends hurts. I also appreciate that this supports playing a bunch of weirdo cards or ones that have fallen out of favor because they have more unique creature types- Anphin Mutineer, Acidic Slime, and Diluvian Primordial all seem like a lot of power here.

That said, is anyone ever letting this fucker stick around for a turn?

 Xanathar, Guild Kingpin

Hey, I know you, you’re from that one book. This card is completely awful to play in webcam-commander, so it’s a good thing we’re all getting vaccinated, right?

So this is UB Gonti, I guess? And also unironically not the worst combo commander, since it stops people from playing spells on your turn in a very White-like effect. Add in some Lantern-style effects and you can get a real stew going with this guy. He looks like a lot of fun- and I’m sure he’ll end up popular as a result. Well, that and being on the cover of an expansion book gets you a lot of notoriety.

 Zalto, Fire Giant Duke

 Our final card, our final Venture card, and the only red one. So, uh, there are literally 4 other Venture cards in mono-red, and at least one of them is complete dogshit, so I can’t imagine this being very good. Also, it’s an Enrage trigger on a 3 toughness 5-drop? Far from ideal. I guess it’s a 7 power trampler for 5, but that’s kind of faint praise to damn with. Maybe if someone makes 5C Venture, or if Giant/Barbarian tribal feel lacking, then this guy can find a home.

Shoutout to the exactly one person who built this deck, by the way. I see you, Elder Demon Highlander, and your 100ish views on your deck tech.

 And that’s the lot of them. Honestly, a lot more misses than hits, but that’s perfectly okay by me. 30 legends in a set is a lot, not to mention the 12 from the precons, and we’ve had so many actively playable legends recently that I’m fine with, like, half of these being trash. Trash is more fun anyway! Get yourself a fuckin Varis, why not.

Okay but seriously though who’s biting the bullet and building Tarrasque first? It’s not going to be me.

[vaguely-concerned]

Twisted Fate/Graves thoughts 2 Electric Boogaloo because none of you can stop me

and I just have a lot of feelings okay

- t.f. taking an entire paragraph mid-fall during a harrowing life or death chase to give you the context for how much the imminent destruction of his boots is a  tragedy is the funniest and most endearing character detail and also irrefutable proof that despite appearances he, too, really does only have that half a brain cell, it simply pingpongs around in there much more than graves’ half (which instead finds one idea and GOES HARD for it no matter what lol bless him)   

also his pov is basically just a flippant ‘well this is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation’ until graves literally forces him to have an honest emotion at gunpoint, and y’know... that be what love feels like sometimes when you’re like that as a person, extremely relatable, I feel for him so much

- I’m still just quietly astounded by the hmmm... implied intimacy? I guess? in the argument they’re having once they’re actually talking in burning tides. let’s look at what they’re actually saying to each other:     

T.F.: “Are you ever gonna learn? . . . Every time I try to help you, I-” and “ I tried to get us out. The rest of us saw the job was going south . . . But you wouldn’t back down. You never do.”

vs.

Graves: “You’ll run again. That’s all you’ve ever done.” and “You made out alright, though . . . You know why? It’s because you’re a coward. And nothing you’ll ever say can change that.” 

like them’s the sort of fraught fighting words you have with a spouse right towards the end of an ugly divorce, the full fruitless ‘why do you always have to --’ and ‘but you never listen to me!!!’ deal, especially from graves’ side lol. it’s the sort of hurtful you can really only be with someone you’ve been very, very close to, someone you know incredibly well. considering the whole backstory what graves is essentially saying here is ‘It’s your own fault people have left you; you deserve to be alone’.

(interestingly, in twisted fate’s pov it seems that what’s really messing with him is the part of not being listened to. he tried to plead with his family and they refused to listen, he tried to convince graves to run away with the rest of them and he didn’t listen, and here they are again and graves isn’t listening  a g a i n  and at that point t.f. clearly just sort of. gives up on actually being heard, in a slightly heartbreaking way. and from how graves reacts to seeing that I really think he’s not naturally cruel like that at all, he’s just in too much pain to think until this startles him out of it and then he does actually listen)

- through both stories graves is so desperately, enduringly horny for t.f. to be emotionally present and engaged with him without slipping away into his ~*cool magic gambler*~ persona and I find it weirdly sweet 

- graves immediately getting fond of this leaky battered old rowboat... hfsadkjfhasd he’s sort of adorable in a way? it’s also really cute how he’s got this really tight focus on tf and his mannerisms and how genuine he’s being at any given moment. it’s such a neat way to show what he’s feeling and thinking about, which must be hard with a character who’s so massively oblivious to the finer points of his own inner life lol  

ALSO can we talk about how tf literally winks at him at one point, right after they’ve sort of had a little moment of regained trust... like my good sir that is so deeply unnecessarily saucy of you, please control yourself (though in his defense graves somehow still isn’t picking up what he’s putting down so y’know maybe subtle isn’t the way to go here anyway haha)

- I wonder if t.f. used to go by his initials even before he changed his name -- graves calls him by it straight off the bat in burning tides and t.f. seems to consider his real name mildly embarrassing lol. (also intriguing that he does appear to think of it as his ‘real name’, and not ‘old name’ or something like that. it’s why I feel like we’ve got more of a dual identity going on here than a deadname situation, it feels more like two distinct levels of emotional vulnerability/availability to me. and so ‘tobias’ stops being relevant when there’s no one left to know him as that. ow.)    

- from reading his bio it seems like twisted fate has had to figure out a lot of the magic stuff on his own (except for the mention of his grandpa teaching him the fortune telling part of it -- seems like they had a bit of a special connection, really, if him leaving his old cards with the kid before they left is anything to go by). what I’m saying is that I would read thousands upon thousands of words of him experimenting with it when they were younger and graves hurriedly having to topple a table over and pull them both behind it for cover before they both explode lol 

(and then t.f. popping his head up afterwards like ‘hAH see I TOLD you I could do it!’ and graves disconsolately lighting a cigar from the burning rubble b/c the things one does for love partnerships huh)

- I’ve been looking over burning tides with a writing eye a few times to figure out what makes it work so well for me, and one of the things I really like is that there are a lot of small comments/details that are there or are framed in a certain way specifically to emphasize the familiarity and history between the characters. Just small details like He moves fast for a big man. I’d forgotten that and graves mentioning he’s never liked standing too close when t.f. does the teleporting thing -- not to mention t.f.’s name reveal, which if I understand this correctly was actually new information to the readers when burning tides was going on. (and yes it is still very funny to me that his actual name is tobias. the duality of man)   

(I also feel like there are HUGE differences in writing quality between the different POV sections -- I guess different people wrote for the different characters? Well, both of the first person sections are gold and that’s what matters to me in this story so I don’t really mind. Sadly the Miss Fortune parts read the weirdest and stiffest to me, which is unfortunate b/c I love her lore concept a lot and she’s so cool in double double-cross. WHO the fuck let an unironic ‘the crimson-haired siren’ slip through the edit, is what I really want to know. please, narrator, tell me about her cerulean orbs while you’re at it) 

- The man I used to know seems lost under years of hatred.

I don’t try to say anything else. I can see it in his eyes, now. Something’s broken inside of him.

still makes me SO SAD and I’m incredibly happy it turns out not to be true in the end thank GOD

- this might just be me reading into stuff too much, but I really like this sense that in moments of high emotion/genuine vulnerability, graves tends to sound older and more tired while t.f. sounds younger than he actually is, more frightened and hurt

- if his mind hadn’t been completely focused on partner-rescuing and open murder were in any way his style, t.f. totally could have killed gangplank right there and then before miss fortune even got to blow the fucker up haha. then again if that were the sort of guy he were he’d be dead along with all the rest of them

- it’s so good that graves tries to save miss fortune’s guy before they leave the cave but also isn’t broken up about it when it turns out he can’t, that feels like such a correct encapsulation of his moral character haha

- I really do enjoy graves’ POV so much not just because there’s something immensely comforting about how he refuses to be scared even in the face of death because he’s too damn grouchy and won’t give the world the satisfaction, but also because the language/cadence is so satisfying. he does have a way with words, in a gruff non-flashy sort of way.

It smells like the end of everything – sulfur and ash and death; cooked hair and melting skin -- the rhythm of that is so gooood and that whole section conveys the horror and destruction but also the awe of the scene so well. (I’m telling you graves isn’t actually dumb at all, just astoundingly unbendingly single minded once he’s got an idea in his head lol) 

- I keep thinking about the fact that the last two things twisted fate thinks about before he passes out from drowning is if graves is scared and ‘What would Malcolm do?’ and I’m feeling real 😭😭😭 about it

- I’m still so disproportionately intrigued by graves mentioning his mom in burning tides. considering how early and seemingly easily he left home (...not to mention that he brings her up in connection with someone punching him in the face) it might be a safe bet that they weren’t that close but like. she also seems to be one of the very very few non-revengy things he’s checked up on after getting out of prison. did he send money home sometimes? would he visit whenever they came back to bilgewater? did she ever meet t.f. and if so did she approve or was this a bit of a uncharmable mother in law from hell situation? I um. I want to know these things pls riot it’s for science

.

(First post is over here btw, if anyone’s interested!)

[moviestorian]

Rock Montreaaaaal 1981 - Liveblog!!!

Hi there, it’s me again, did you miss you! I certainly did miss you! <3

Let’s get straight to the liveblog, shall we???

- OMG this is so HD - I'm EXCITED - the candles are a nice touch - of course they start off with a series of dramatic explosions and thunder-like sounds XD my fave band is so extra and dramatic and I live for it - Roger's face on a drum kit! - this version of WWRY rocks - finally a cameraman that doesn't fail to show a fair amount of Deaky power - the godly lighting department - Freddie with a Superman t-shirt? Give me that DC spinoff with Queen members as superheroes - they'd fight with evil producers, stupid critics, close-mided people - "you wanna get crazy?" Heck YES - Brian, please STOP making that face... I'm feeling my sin - "We'll give you crazy performace" I BET YOU WILL - Deaky seems to like blue as uch as I do, also he looks SO HOT - Roger's backing vocals are everything - Freddie: *takes off his leather jacket* crowd: *cheers* - man, the cinematography is better in this concert than in some movies I've recently watched - I adore the colouring - this version of Play the Game is far superior to the album version - okay, I'm totally gonna screencap this concert like crazy - Brian looks so elegant, oh my - YASS Roger, bang the drums! - SOMEBODY TO LOVE! - Freddie looked directly into the camera! - Oh my, this is killing me... I can't start crying on the train, please stop making me feel - ROGER'S VOCALS ARE DIVINE, you can't change my mind - all of them are pouring their hearts into this heart, you can SEE and HEAR it - now this is what I call the perfect performance - slay that guitar solo, Bri! - THE DRUMS OH MY - this HD and high sound quality is too powerful - Find me...somebody to love...find me...somebody to love... - *gulps beer* - Freddie cries - I cry - I died BYE - "shift your asses" XD "take off your clothes" XDDDDD - KILLAH KWEEN - where's the triangle!? - perfume came. *naturally*. from PARIS!.! - daaaamn, that transition! - Christ, Roger's killing it - he sounds a bit tired but STILL GOOD - Brian, please remove yourself from camera when they're showing Roger pls - Roger's drumming... I'm dead and in love - that drumset looks amazing, so sparkly and silver - sexy Deaky - Get down make love - cringy lyrics but it sounds pretty cool - ESPECIALLY live - Freddie & Roger are the most powerful vocal duo on earth - the lighting-mist-drumming coordination: POETIC CINEMA - some crazy sci-fi shit going on on - I feel I'm being abducted by aliens - awww, Brian on a piano - their tiny interaction, I MELT - "how I loved you, how I cried" - daamn, Freddie, I didn't know you were singing about me and my love for Queen - I want to offically apologize to everyone for forgetting how beautiful "Save me" is - I love that you can totally hear how better Freddie's control over his voice and vibrato become (compared with Rainbow and Odeon) - HeRe I sTaNd *dum dum* - oh hi shirtless Freddie - hop Deaky Deaky hop Deaky doo - Freddie and Roger - the ultimate brotp - YEAH! YEAH!  - I love those interactions with the audience - Freddie & Rog looking at each other. I'M CRY - Roger was doing a weird thing? Are u okay babe? - LOL Roger back spitting - some fine ass drumming - "are you in a mood for singing?" sure I am - "This is love of my life" NO YOU - the lady in the audience: *heart eyes* SAME GIRL, God I wish that were me - SLAY thay bassline, John! - okay I love this version of Under Pressure better than the David Bowie one (and you know, I LOVE the original!) - Rog smiling at Freddie <3333 - that falsetto, maaan - well, Freddie didn't do the highest note... I'm not surprised though, after 50 minutes of continuous singing I wouldn't expect him to hit a super high falsetto note, and he’s doing a splendid job all the same so - ...the.best.version.of.Under Pressure - Keep Yourself Alive always slaps - especially when Rog is banging his drums like that - noooo he threw the tambourine! He has no RESPEC - this shit is better than the entire Greatest Hits compilation - Roger's legendary drum solo strikes again - Maaaan this is extraordinary - the concentration! the SKILLS! - where you going, Rog? Come back! - OH HELLO THERE - how can he do it so fast??? - and some people still don't remember his name jgajgsdjhgsdjhgsdjhsd - *bows* *thumbs up* Roger, I'm coming to get you!!! - I can sense the longer guitar solo approaching - scratch those strings, Bri!!! - I love how you can see the audience's enthusiasm, and when you compare it with the relatively cold applause at the Rainbow, it's so uplifting and beautiful that people's love for them kept growing and growing - this one guy in the audience hyping Brian... bless you, man and your positivity - Crazy Little Thing Called Freddie with his gutar - love his vocals here - you know, how he rapidly makes this super high and quick sound - "ready Freddieeeee?" - give me a proper shot on Deaky! Yes, that's what I wanted - licky Deaky - Brian changed his clothes, still looking very nice - they really liked Jailhouse Rock, didn't thye? - "move it you fuckers" OMG so mean - Freddie & Brian <333 Brian's smile <3333 - Roger must be really hot in that shirt....in every possible sense - it's Bohemian Rhapsody time! - my mum would cheer, it's her second fave - the best thing about the live versions of Bohemian Rhapsody is that they always play my favourite parts - I'm actually gonna turn up the volume for that godly guitar solo - Oooo they played the operatic part via playback??? - I didn't see that coming actually - Nice touch! - SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY - ROGER'S DRUMS - okay that hard rock section SLAPS hard - this is my favourite version so far - please tell me there's a CD version of this concert? I want it all (no pun intended)on my phones - I'm totally gonna search for a victim who's gonna watch this with me again - Sensing my mum or my flatmate - SMASH THAT GONG ROGER BOY - the flowers Freddie deserved - I'm pretty sure I'm watching this way too loud (on headphones but still), considering I'm on a traine...I have no regrets though - the editor knew what he was doing, unlike the Odeon one - they have more energy than me, - more explosions...SO EXTRA - Another one bites the dust! - Deaky's time to shine again - Freddie...I'm in public..stop taking off your clothes - AOBTD should be a Freddie/Roger vocal duet, change my mind - "Are you happy? Are you satisfied?" I SURE AM - "How long can you stand the heat?" I'm not sure, you guys are too good - wow Brian, how did you know I love guys wearing black trousers and white shirt? - those people who got to stand so close to the stage... they're blessed - now I'm reminded of the people from that facebook group I’m a member of...They all hate Sheer Heart Attack...BUT HAVE THEY HEARD THIS VERSION? - Me: man I wish I was born the same year my mum was so I could attend this concert  Me: reminds myself that if I were, indeed, born in the early 60s, I'd spend my entire youth in the communist Poland and I certainly wouldn't be allowed leave the country and go to Montreal to attend the rock concert  Me: *laughing hysterically* - Freddie and Roger brotp strikes again! My crops are watered - We Will, WE WILL ROCK YOU! - I lowkey wanna sing along but I'm public and I'd totally embarass myself - I DON'T WANT THIS CONCERT TO END - We are champions - again, my mum would love this concert - I'M EMO - Roger looks kinda sad, I wanna hug him - I think my brain has been forever scarred by that cursed WATC crack video - I can't unhear it XD - Freddie shaking hands with people...THIS IS TOO MUCH - I feel like my life hasn't been complete before I watched this - yes Rog, come forward! - the person who got Roger's sticks..jealous me - "thank you for being such a good sport" I CAN'T Freddie's too adorbs - In short: my expectations were very very high and yet they were grossly EXCEEDED, I'm nostalgic, emotional, happy at the same time - SO WHOLESOME OMG - Like, LIVE AID WHAT? - and they managed perfectly well without any synthesisers, because THEY ARE GREAT and SKILLED MUSICIANS, there was literally not a single weak spot in this performance??? - The bar is set very high for the Hungarian Rhapsody and Live at Wembley, hopefully I can watch these very soon! :D

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes 22

David trilogy

Book 22

A Rachel book

Ax is lucky that Rachel didn’t knock him off hard enough to hurt him. Why do people insist in cutting up Rachel?

I still don’t know exactly what they expected from all this like?>

No. You guys had several choices, you just picked all of the worst ones

Like just consistently made terrible choices that would not endear trust towards yall or faith in you

Given all the lucky unconsious morphing elsewhere in this series this feels kinda odd

I’m reminded that I would have much prefered Rachel in the leader role

Gymnastics club is coming in handy

For someone who only got morphing power at best 2 days ago and has very little practice David is doing pretty good. However he doesn't fucking confirm his kills, but that's probably just the writers needing to keep people alive

Rachel doesn’t know exactly how she feels being designated the one who does the dirty shit

and again, Jake didn't tell teh rest of the team that he'd threatened David previously. Then decided that they'd need to kill him the moment they got evidence that he wasn't loyal to them. Then sent Tobias to spy on the paranoid dude who doesn't trust them and has a golden eagle morph which just wouldn't have gone well if Tobias got caught

Decided to further persue David with no immediate back up. Fought his lion as a tiger (and kept trying to bite the fucker's neck through the mane) and now all the ducks are in a row for Rachel to definately have a reason to murder the fuck out of David

if i had any faith of Jake's planning abilities i'd say this was a very eleborately planned murder or hit

but ya know we're supposed to belive that Jake is actually good at plans and leadership shit so it probably is a very elaborately planned hit

Oh hey Cassie’s mom gets to be competent. ANd remember what her animals look like

Huh, ya know the actual yeerk percentage of any given opperation really does seem to be rather low

Once more Visser 3’s poor leadership leads to Animorph advantage

Rachel, pls don’y give the rest of the Animorphs any benifit of the doubt

one person has taken out over half this team (honestly if murder is the agenda David shoulda killed Marco when he had the chance and not any of this "i'll only kill em if they ain't in human shape nonsense")

Again David is fucking good at morphing

as far as I gather, David is kinda paranoid, a bit of a loner, one of those edgy goth kids. A bit reckless but pretty darn good at strategy. Doesn't like being bossed around, especially not by people he has no reason to trust or like. And also just a natural at shapeshifting.

everything else is unreliable b/c I know the writers are trying to make him satan for their betray plot to not make the Animorphs look so terrible for their actions in comparison.

also another reason the two trap David in morph things don't work for me (rat in the main timeline and fly in the choose yer own book [b/c he dissagreed with the animorphs on being benched while on an alien planet in a fight for all of their lives]) is b/c the animrophs have morphed out of tight spaces like behind a fridge or inside a peice of wood so it doesn't feel like a rat trap or a cup should be able to stop a fucker from demorphing

Ugh Tobias is still alive

so Tobias just fucking lost track of David , and didn't think that the dude may have headed to his home and ran into Jake and Ax on the way there.  Didn't show up at the mall investigating all the fucking sirens like Rachel and Ax and just happened to be in the right place to save Rachel

Why the fuck was Cassie allowed to fucking come along with her mom in the first place?

Cameras stopped existing again

Why do I raise my hopes up, I should know better. None of these kids are gonna die aside from teh one shock death at the very end

And they just fucking go to school like there aren’t more pressing issues and the chee can’t cover them

And of course supervillian!David just fucking plays along and does nothing to either end them durring this time or put a fuck lot of distence between them, and just fucking taunts them

b/c why have characters behave inline to their shown motivations

this is just like the hork-bajir suddenly deciding to switch from guerrella warfare to seige warfare for not damn good reason

You could litterally be going through their shit while they’re at school for some reason

...david apparently wants the box to bargin with Visser 3 for his parents. even tho last book he said he wasn't dumb enough to think he could bargin with the yeerks when jake said basicly the same thing

Why am I expecting the books to not change shit to suit whatever the writer whants to happen in any given book? I should know better

So the plan for the world leaders thing has devolved into smash shit up and just end the meeting

Dolphins have more than a few predators and definately know fear

Rachel considers goring a dude trying to his job and protect people from fucking rampaging wildlife

Honestly its funny as hell that David just shows the fuck up out of nowhere to fuck up the animorphs

also apparently for some mysterious reason David doesn't see that there's 6 animorphs there instead of 5

like he was def in the water watching them b4 they did the elephant/rhino charge and when they got back and orcas have fucking sonar

Rachel, maybe that was the plan to put the target on yer back

Cassie could harm his as a humpback b/c ya knwo a massive animal with massive ramming force

I also like Rachel’s sisters

Jake is a liar and Rachel should call him out but she should also take some fucking personal responsibility for her words and actions

Yeah, Rachel should not be a nurse. Pls stop projecting yer own issues onto people, don’t be a Tobias

Commercial jingle voice: Can you guess who?

This is hilarious

This is actually gaslighting. Thanks Jake

like the majority of the time Jake just feels like a pile of wet oatmeal shaped like a person for all the personality he has and then there's this shit and my brain clicks that he's actually pretty awful

Ah, they’re acting b/c David might be listening

They are just shit at acting, this should be raising so many red flags

Snakes are effectively fucking deaf, he couldn’t have been listening in

the writers forgot that they made david a paranoid motherfucker

My kingdom for consistant motivation

how fucked over would this plan be if david used his rattlesnake morph instead of the rat the animorphs want him to use?

Oh hey he morphed snake

...motherfucker you didn't need to fucking morph to threaten a rat

You can litterally kill small animals with the power of yer hands

no damnit. hold onto the animorphs in the bottle and force rachel to get the shit herself under threat of having the others trapped in morph

*Sigh*

Well that’s over

[nerdwiththehat]

#DemDebate night one:

Everyone's way too prepared.

So I said I wasn’t going to live-tweet the debates because I did that in 2016 and MAN did it make me insufferable online.

Buuuuut I also didn’t make a full write-up, I just scribbled a shit-ton of notes on my laptop and now I’m looking back at it the next morning and holy shit I must have been drunk as hell by minute three because I made no sense so fuck it I’ll just keep doing this.

here we go kids

BETO DID HIS ENTIRE SECOND PHRASE IN SPANISH UH

woo woo pass the ERA

Everyone's answering with such long lead-ins - the first person who gives an ANSWER in the first quarter-sentence gets an award

Bill De Blasio keeps grinning DIRECTLY at the camera. I'm deceased.

And GIVE HIM THE BONUS Bill De Blasio answered the question in the first 5 words. What a mans. AND HE CALLED IT OUT. he CALLED OUT THE PARTY-LINE TOEING. WHY AM I OKAY WITH BILL DE BLASIO NOW??

Jay Inslee said unions give him the award too. I mean, he didn't say a thing about the minimum wage, but he did say some nice stuff about clean energy, sticking it to Trump, and some other stuff. I do like him, I guess?

Tim Ryan says "China" in the same tone as Donald Trump hee hee

WoW! so it turns out if you ask Liz a specific question she gives you a FULL answer and I fucking love it god damn keep doing that. Stop giving her the junk questions for lead-ins and complaints.

Healthcare! It's time. Is it time to abolish private health insurance? Looks like... Bill, and Liz? Why do I like them?

Amy Klobuchar is weird and she's dodging the question every time she gets asked. They asked her why she wasn't going to abolish private insurance - she made a beer joke and talked about big pharma. That's... not the answer we were looking for.

Talking with Liz about Medicare for all! They asked her a direct question and she went FULL policy on them! Numbers on medical bills! Numbers on people who do and don't have insurance! I know why we elected her here and it's because she does THAT. (Also nice jacket Liz big ups I like the purple ^^) Healthcare is a human right!

Talking to beto! Let's see if he does THE THING again. He has a good anecdote! I like his opinions on universal healthcare, but he's not signed on for Medicare for all. Good notes on mental health care!!! Thank u!!! and Planned parenthood shoutout! Not replacing private insuranceandthenholYSHITOUTTANOWHEREEVERYONE JUMPED ON IT

TULSI showed up and actually talked some sense. The policy matters are important, but if we're going to stand on a stage arguing about what parts we're doing, we're not getting actionable.

JAY INSLEE COMING OUT SWINGING TO PROTECT ABORTION RIGHTS AND CONTRACEPTION

JULIAN CASTRO TRIED VERY HARD AND I SUPPORT HIM BUT ALSO DROPPING TRANS WOMEN INTO THE DEBATE WASN'T THE RIGHT MOVE

BIG dodge from Liz on the "limitations" on abortion question.

should drug manufacturers be held criminally liable for the opioid crisis? Cory says big yes. I imagine a lot of the candidates will. But, I do like that he's mentioning that arresting your way out of the problem is a huge problem. Beto gets the same question, and starts with aaaaaaaaaaa weed answer but also he has the same god damn point so big support

Immigration after the commercial break! Scores in the first round - Liz lost a point for a lack of full-throttle support for abortion rights. Castro gets the you tried star but also a starbucks gift card for good trans support. Jay Inslee gets some union patches. Beto gets an A- in Spanish class. Bill De Blasio gets a smol flag with ancom stars and a "fuck tankies" t-shirt.

back from the break - let's get to immigration. Specifically, the concentration camps, and the pitable kid pictures.The commentator is trying his best to spit full vitriol at DHS. Castro is banking off his immigration plan, and said "pissed off" on national television. Big ups, but also - he's using executive orders to prop up most of it. Pls say something about legislative reform for the border. Honoring asylum claims! Get them through. Plans for central american refugees! Cory isssssss pulling a Beto and took a DAMN long time to pull it up from his brain. Ending the policies of ICE and bringing back DACA options for current arrivals. Helping the northern triangle and working better with governments in central america. (castro jumped in I'm glad everyone's so support remove 1325 of the nationality act! Don't criminalise desperation! Seperating children is barbaric. and then CORY pulls that out to point at the planned raids this week. I support this discussion but also PLEASE folks stick to point of order. and here's BILL again all but QUOTING A GRANDSON SONG GOD BLESS. I love his tirades but also YOU WEREN'T CALLED ON

TAME ASKED BETO A QUESTION IN SPANISH AND HE'S RESPONDING I NEED AN TRANSLATOR MY SPANISH SUCKS

Beto's the first one to literally say the words no wall. He's still talking and castro's talking OVER HIM. Family case management sounds good but also cost??? Naturalising ALL the DREAMers

Castro is banking off the use of sec.1325 in this debate and I agree with him wholeheartedly. beTO on the other hand is dodging the question like crazy. And Castro's... calling him out on it? I love it!

TOO MUCH YELLING.

JOHN DELANEY KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Amy Klobuchar has opinions about border crossings woo woo. You'd want to make sure that you have provisions in place to go after human and drug traffickers - WE HAVE SECTION 18 OF THE US CODES. annnd now she's talking about CEOs and F1 visas. IDK I mean it's important but also NOT THE QUESTION. But hey, first time someone said anything about legislative support.

who the fuck is Tim Ryan seriously and why the fuCK does he say things with such a weird voice sometimes. HOW DOES HE THINK EXECUTIVE AUTHORITY WORKS HE'S LIKE "order Doctors to go to the borders and save the kids" like I like the idea but what the fuc k?

The cameras keep WHIPPING back and forth and it's cracking me up.

Jay Inslee - there's no reason for detention and separation - but... what're you gonna do to REUNITE PEOPLE. (Also dude Charlie Baker stood up to Trump against the muslim ban and he's a republican) "The other DEEEaayyyy" (Oh he's also the gov. that Trump called out on twitter and "threatened" to send muslim refugees to)

CORY BOOKER DIDN'T RAISE HIS HAND BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TALK WHAT A FUCKER. I SUPPORT THE GRIFT BUT WHAT A FUCKER LOL

They tried to send a Hezbollah question to Tulsi Gabbard and she just drove it straight into the ground. I stan but also wooph. She is the person that folks were saying was in the pocket of the middle east, right? She's like cozy with Assad?

oh my god they had to cut them off with the commercial break

it's a goddamn cage-match of prostration to the base - "LETSSSSS GET READY TO HUMBLLLLLE"

I had to take a break and go get a glass of water jfc I'm getting parched.

CHUCK TODD AND RACHEL MADDOW HAD A TOTALLY SEPARATE DESK AND THEY FUCKING /ZOOMED/ OVER TO IT AT WARP SPEED I ALMOST PEED LAUGHING.

- we're less than 50 miles from Parkland. Assault weapons ban? - EVERYONE'S MICS ARE ON. - EVERYONE'S MICS ARE STILL ON. - EVERYONE, EVERYONE'S MICS ARE STILL ON. LESTER SHUT THE FUCK UP. - TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL FUCK ME DEAD - poor chuck todd but also I'm deceased

alright we're back. More robust plans, and teenage activism. What do you do about the hundreds of millions of guns already out there? - Liz is talking town halls - what's the hardest question? "when you're president, how're you going to keep us safe?" - This is a good response, and she's talking about it in the context of a HEALTH EMERGENCY good FUCKING lord THANK YOU lift the CDC moratorium. Should the fed take guns back? no... no answer to the direct question. But, I support her answer! Thank you for not treating it as an across-the-board answer kind of thing. - Booker has a buy-back programme. I think that's good? But he also said assault rifle so now we gotta shame him or something idk I'm not a fucking gun nut. We've let the gun lobby define the debate! Thank you for also touching on it! - Castro gets a question about active shooter drills, and is it a questions of what he's going to do to turn it around. Also awwww his daughter is in the audience we stan. But also LITERALLY no answer besides "we're gonna take back two of three branches on day one" literally what does that mean. - Tim Ryan is saying stuff about... mental health care for kids scared of shootings and supporting the kids who would do shootings? Wait why am I okay with this thank you. - Beto is about to talk about guns this'll be good. background checks good. gun show sales bad. assault rifles no bueno. red flag laws good. Throw it to the kids? I... guess? - Chuck Todd really wants someone to talk about TAKING YOUR GUNS. - Amy Klobuchar thinks about her uncle who hunts deer idk I mean I guess so also GUNS ARE LIKE GAY MARRIAGE OH BOY.

SENATOR THANK YOU

- We're talking supreme court now but CORY STILL WANTS TO TALK GUNS. Licensing is already a requirement up here in the northeast jfc. - SUPREME COURT - we're going to get to 50 votes in the senate to nominate a justice because stacking the senate lol thanks for at least saying it out in the open. - BILL BILL BILL if you nominate someone for the supreme court would you think TurtleMitch would let you nominate someone but he WANTS TO TALK ABOUT GUNS and police for some reason. Oh right also he has mixed race kids that's actually something he should have leaned on a bit more earlier.

HOW LONG DO THESE PEOPLE THINK 20 SECONDS IS.

- Senator Warren - if TURTLEMITCH is still there whatdoyado. WE ARE A DEMOCRACY. the answer is campaign finance reform to get a democratic majority in the senate. I guess. - Mitch McConnell gets called the fuck out lol - How are folks gonna beat the turtleman we'll never knooooooo - JAY INSLEE TRIED TO INTERRUPT AND THEN RACHEL MADDOW CALLED HIM OUT AND TOSSED HIM A CLIMATE CHANGE QUESTION I'm PISS he then TURNED IT ON MITCH. Also, he's staking his claim on climate change and y'know what I'm totally fine with it. - Climate Emergency! ten points to inslee. - Beto has a good plan for removing the dependency on fossil fuels I like - Chuck Todd all but went full hbomberguy and yelling FUCKING AQUAMAN on stage. - Bonus points to Castro for PUERTO RICO - Also paris accords - both castro and klobuchar have said they'd sign back on

Everyone keeps RAISING THEIR HANDS like they're allowed to yell as soon as they've got their finger up.

Time to punch on Tulsi Gabbard for her shitty stances on queer issues woo woo. Let's see how this goes. CORY BOOKER MY BOY CALLING OUT NOT TALKING ABOUT THE KILLING OF BLACK TRANS WOMEN AND SUICIDES OF QUEER KIDS GOOD TALK GOOD TALK BIG LOVE.

time for VOTED QUESTIONS guy asked if we shouldn't do the rwandan genocide again. Beto literally only knows the Rwandan genocide. Someone say Kosovo and watch his head explode. Bill says some stuff about going to war without congressional approval idk man Ryan made himself look like a big dumb doofy doo in front of two service members on stage lol I don't like Tulsi but GET HIM GIRL and NOW he's SUPER anxious and talking about ATTACKS and shit. Him and Tulsi are gonna eat each other. JFC THIS DEBATE.

Threats, right to left:

(IN AS FEW WORDS AS POSSIBLE, PEOPLE)

Nukes

Trump

Nuclear War

Economic threat - china/actual threat - destabilisation of the middle east.

climate change

climate change

nukes and climate change

china and climate change

china

russia

Beto wants to prosecute Trump. This'll make news tomorrow, mark my words. Not saying he's totally /wrong/, but it's going to be front-page news tomorrow.

45 seconds wrap ups 

GET IT DONE PEOPLE let's see WHO KNOWS HOW TO TELL TIME.

(Ratings are based on the wrap-ups only and are a direct reflection of my mental state and random musings at the time whatever)

Delaney did some neat stuff and said saving the world and unions and shit. 2 reminders, 3 thank-yous. C+

Bill: it matters in the fight for the heart and soul of the party to nominate someone who bad upbring and also WAGE PROMISES. Also free preschool idk man. No reminders! 1 thank-you. B+

Jay Inslee is running because he wants his grandkids to survive climate change. Get committed to making it the top priority. Save ourselves and our children, and our children's children. 1 reminder, 2 thank-yous. B+

Tim Ryan: something about forgotten communities and a throwaway trans comment about running away with the gold and playing offense... he sounds like Jim Webb lol also lET'S PLAY SOME ALPHABET GAMES 3 thank-yous. D-

Tulsi: service above self is what defines the US, but that's not what we have right now. So this must end. "Our White House" 4 times good christ. Lot of random promises and also new??? Century? no reminders 1 thank-you. C+

Julian's is in spanish awesome but also interpreters pls. Also his brother's in congress, too. He wants the nomination but he's probably going to be another housing pick. NO THANK-YOUS :(((  B+ 

Amy: I listen to people. I pass bills. I listened to people and acted. I listen. Listening. I'm someone that can win. Because I listen. I keep winning because I listen. I'm not establishment and I listen. Something about listening. And integrity. 1 thank-you. D+

Cory's family had to move because redlining and he's kinda neat. Lots of lawyering. We win fights by being the best. Stop making it into a high/low fight. This is a referendum on us, and on Trump. I'll show the best of who we are. 1 thank-you. C+

Beto's daughter turned 11 this week and that's cute and also free the kids in concentration camps. We need a new kind of politics directed by the urgency of the nest generation. 2 thank yous A-???

Liz being raised in oklahoma dreamed to be a school teacher, didn't have money for college - and went to commuter college and got involved in law that way. We believe in making government work for everyone. I will fight for you as hard as I fight for my own family. NO THANK YOUS :((( B+

I’m going to do this again for the next few debates, I think? Depending how long my sanity holds out.

[tomaschronosart]

I can remember writing a story about a cackle of hyenas whom were mindlessly roaming The Unending Desert, from memory I had depicted them as these anthropomorphic creatures – nearly human enough to recall. I was in Mrs. Dyer's class, so grade 6. I remember how calm and confident I felt doing this particular task, it seemed like I knew how to flow and tap into some source from the get go.The feeling of calm comfortability was very rare for me. Mrs. Dyer played the entire class a song and requested we create a narrative based on our initial thoughts, feelings and reactions to the song. As a kid with a bed time, I mostly just passed out from exhaustion, instead of actually going to sleep… I would lie awake every night, wired, manic and fearful. I began writing stories in my head early on in an attempt to soothe and channel my chronic anxieties.. I had constructed the usual traumatized-child-fantasy-universe – a safe place where I could manifest the perception of control. I never minded sleeplessness, as it created an apt environment for cognitive free-running, I adjusted. My fantastical bedtime stories were vanilla, from memory.. drug cartels, mercenary adventures in the jungle, sci-fi opera journeys and sometimes just a regular old adventure where me and mine would acquire some kind of drug or person or thing. For a long time, I had an obsession with unearthing new control techniques to quench the thirst of my firmly embedded insomnia - I had stock-standard/methodical/repetitive stories that would take 2-3 ours to ‘create n complete’. If there was a satisfying and coherent beginning, middle and an end to te story, I could sleep. Nights were always hardest and darkest for me – I have no idea how old I was when my sleep hygiene began deteriorating. And though, sleeplessness was uncomfortable and I was never keen on being tired – After doing the reading recovery program, I could finally read, so I was quick to pick up the –read-in-bed- habit. I began hearing other peoples stories, a welcome change. if I was feeling particularly flowy, I’d organize one of my card collections. I would try to master some new drawing technique... but I could sit behind a computer for 18-24 hours straight and ride the wave playing some puzzle or anything else repetitive enough to numb my mind. I remember how icy cold I’d get during winter - how blue my hands would become after hours of sitting stationary at my desk.. I would leave my window open throughout the night to keep the computer cool, it lagged if it overheated. I used to think that if I didn’t pay any attention to the cold, I would not feel the cold. Before I was 10, I had not come across any one thing that transfixed me. I had not yet become addicted to anything yet, I think? – that is until Puzzle Pirates!!! Shit, when that fucker came into the picture.. well, I no longer gave a shit about anything but Puzzle pirates. I could not cope with the disconnection, exile and the incessant bullying I copped from my peers. The frustrated messes waiting for me at home were suckin down durries, grog and sugar as hungrily as the machines cha-chinning for their money at the pub. I still am heeding these calls I am too tired to remember. I am still sweeping the dust away from these things I cant forget. At times, I miss the calm comfortability of not needing drugs; I miss the warmth that seeped away whilst roaming the waking world; I miss my Lunar lover, who would speak to me in dreams/ through dreams i could See through, cast away, be at ease. I hold on Tightly- still, To whatever vice’ll’suffice. seeming to soothe and appease the beast / my early coping strategies of hermitage and avoidance, protect me from momentum Games and story telling and art replication – I wanted to draw cartoon characters, as I was exposed to their stories more than my own peoples. I can still remember the countless hours, days and weeks of social isolation and voiceless anxiety. Sugar – one of the quickest ways to soothe my boiling baby brain. I keep thinking of the root of this addiction as a loss or lack of social belonging , or maybe I am lamenting another warped perception of my self .. I remember that I was so emotive and empathic and open but also unregulated, neglected and full of painful confusion. I forget that I still am. I felt so damn old all the time. I remember the sunshine splattering through the windows, onto the dashboard of mums old Ford Laser. We were doing one of our usual trips to Warrandyte for her housekeeping job with then Heffernans. I remember looking out over the balcony at the rear of their place, taking in the kilometers of bush and possibility. I black out their olympic size swimming pool - i nearly drowned in it a few times. While I was peering out across the sky,I was fretting over forgetting how I came to be standing there. I did not understand how I forgot- I remembered the sunshine On my face, So I knew, I had gotten there, though I could not remember how. I wanted to be a boy. I was a boy. I became a girl, as expected. , football was a medium, a bridge for the repressed masculinity – I didn't like to exercise, I did not want to be made of aware of my breathing, bleeding bio sac. my body was unimportant and sickly and tired and stressed and depressed, chronically– I reflect now and see how maladaptive a depressive I am. Always, wanting to escape the confines of the very thing I want to inhabit and realize? //// ah!!! the system that creates its own dependence, to substantiate its usage of the finite well, shall never recognize its own self-destructive carelessness. For having ignored the infinite well, the system, as it stands, shall fall. And that well that never runs dry? Well, I always forget about it. I use everything I have ever touched// to coin a collection of concepts Only I can comprehend. But, this is making it easier. I can see a bit clearer now. I can ease into the next step, less weary than before. But why? The further away I wander, the more susceptible I am to rot. In time, these things will return … and of my soul? My soul shall ache and pupate once more, Forlorn, I remember///! how I forgot – to start, To stop. And who's justifications am I leaning towards now? My deep dwelling fears and my leering observations are erratic, Unsustainable, Confusing. THE MAD ARM OF THE Y – an obstruction arises along the path creating the crossroads of forever, Two new paths, the same old path. I am alone, finally – at peace. At ease, with my failures, for now. No mirror I stumble upon can stave off my stare, Why should they? to see through what I can only see when I Stop, start and Refresh is my responsibility. I am so sorry, that I show A me that thinks it can have something It is not worthy of. Give me nothing and give me everything - I have been in all of the wrong places. I know I think wrong, and that I have made it too hard on myself. I know these revelations have been a long time coming but- I sat there and I remembered, It is to me and to me alone that I must consort with. I seek council amongst my memories and I find shelter in my solitude. These flickering unrealities I thought were gone - Pls, just hold onto the everlasting, Try, bust through space and time and just- Breathe. My desire for my true end has faded, I see life again, manifest. The 10,000 directions in front of me, the Myriad forever, the calf of endless suffering howls my name so doggardly. And change and change and change And grow and grow and grow, And that's all u r doing and that's all U can do. individualism is not the thing That u share with me, nor I with u. I remembered just now, that Id like to talk with u and, Share space. How I miss fixing shit with you. How u and me, we used to sit in the park and heal our aching thoughts- Work'd be done and the day was forever- and the thoughts would come, and go. And I miss it cause it kept me closer to my people – for when I speak amongst my kin, I am Home and full hearted – But I lost all my chill, I lost all my capitol, frankly. Then - it snow balled, as it always does. I feel I have been too sad to be a friend, too fucked to really feel love, I fear I am to scattered to comprehend my responsibilities And I’m too damn lonely to ask for help. And so what? Now what? Just keepin up with the fuckin fog is hard enough, I know I just gotta slow down and risk a bit of pain and ease into warmth and trust that its true. My silence has done me a disservice. My love for u, eternally/ Evergrateful / be am me, For all is as it could be. Chained to nought but my fears, Lovingly I say to u, from the mouth of Beth Ditto, “If everything u do has a hole in it, then everything u do has a hold on me, I been here before I should be used to this, But I can't take it no more, I can't take it no more, no oooo, Ooooooooo ooooooo ooooo,” (And to me I always sing:) “Yr mangled hrt, yr bitter love that's hangin onto memories, Ur lettin go of everything that ussed to be, U build me up to let Me down…” And from the channels of me, I wonder, what am I releasing? Capitulating with comrades, A sparrow new found – tiny and fragile, Like glass, Rock hard and clear/ transparent but, still. It is shattered Spraying and sputtering nuggets of raw energy. Crack and singe, whatever mind of mine is waning by the wayside. Moments of forever, Of the eternal calm of belonging- Jan Cadman’s Kyneton property, We’s just yabbies in the dam. / I think I can see, I wanna chill, like when I was there. As conceited as I can be- some people I never need to feel again. Thin ice, let me drown. My neck is under deep, it's me and me alone that keeps quiet. I've been drowning, again, like always. I just got sick from telling people.. Only I can save me, I forgot, I forgot.

[kariachi]

Okay y’all, by popular demand, Omni-tricked. All four parts.

Portland again? Really?

Did, did Animo make an ant/elephant hybrid? I mean I wouldn’t be surprised.

Sounds to me like that alarm you get when you check the smoke alarm’s batteries. Have you considered changing them? Also Ben you do not need more power you just used the wrong alien fucking chill.

Stop trying to break your watch, Tennyson.

Mount Megalodon? Really? That’s where the ele-ant comes from? Gods preserve me

Yep, Animo.

Dude, it’s Portland. You couldn’t have gone for something.... moreso? I mean is Oregon for fuck’s sake.

Um, did Ben just dial up a Chimera Sui Genesis? I mean don’t get me wrong if there was a species I’d like to see him turn into that’d be it (seriously, somebody write that fic), but not what I was expecting. Also the sudden shift in background color from green to yellow is concerning. Wait, oh fuck, is this the new Ghostfreak?!

Goddamnit Ben!

Oooooo, looking awesome. If they’d put this level of cool factor into the other alien designs I wouldn’t have had to deal with over a year of “this cartoon dug up my grandma’s corpse and fucked it” sentiments in the tag.

Ben, do not listen to the whispering in your brain. It’s not a good sign. Although I clearly have been dealing in too much Pern because I got wher flashbacks.

So, is like a Ghostfreak/Venom situation, is the vibe I’m getting?

Goddamnit Ben

Oh Holy Shit, I did not realize Chimera Sui Genesis could do that

Fucking laser eyes?!?! Seriously?!?!

Welp, bye-bye Portland

I wanna say “goddamnit Max, leave the child behind”, but so far this show has proven to me that if he did a second critter would pop out from under her, take her captive, and things would just escalate from there.

Animo!

Ben, chill.

“You can’t control Gax”, oh Gwen you have no idea. Wait for the other shit he’s gonna unlock, so far he’s doing good.

Welp, bye-bye Portland

This fucking critter!

For fuck’s sake!! What does it take to take down an ant/elephant critter?!?!

I admit, I saw a screenshot of this scene (with the “Gax Was Here” boulder) back when the episode aired an assumed that this was actually Vilgax and he was the one who made it. Which would’ve been awesome and hilarious and right up the alley for this show so far. Honestly, I’m kinda sad I wasn’t right. I mean come on, tell me you wouldn’t like a Vilgax who does shit like that.

Okay, so, if becoming a Chimera Sui Genesis is what it takes for Ben to stop being scared of squid, does that mean who could clear up Prime Ben’s peacock phobia with careful application of a kick-ass peafowl alien?

Welp

Ben pls

~~~~~

I have to assume the Omnitrix going white isn’t a good thing.

Phil? Wait what? 1) Tell me this ain’t the same Phil from OS, 2) Phil’s an electronics genius? The hell?

Finally he’s human for a while.

I will say, I’m becoming more and more convinced this Max isn’t a Plumber.

Somebody tie him to a chair

Well at least there’s some weakpoint.

Not much of a cave-in, and it don’t look like nobody’s hurt. Fucker’s just climb out. Even I could make that climb. In flip flops. With ease. You don’t need rescuing, you need to stop being pansies.

See that’s a fucking cave-in! What you fucker’s had was a pile of loose rock.

Also hi Phil. You look like the same Phil, but reboot style. We shall see if you’re as big an asshole. I have to assume so, even though you have shown no signs, because I’ve seen Prime you in action.

Phil! Please! Attention!

*gasp* It’s SixSix and Kraab!! Yay! Hi guys!

And, who are you?

So, Phil knows what the Omnitrix is? Is Max just that much better at hiding shit in the reboot? Are they still Plumbers? My interest has been piqued.

Oh, Tetrax, okay. I thought it might be you, but I wasn’t sure. Ya know, what with the fucking hazmat suit.

No, I’m with Ben, you are too damn fast for a Petrosapien.

Dude chill.

Welp

You have no anything

Um.... That looked suspiciously like a Null Portal...

You’ve made bigger jumps, Tennyson, and you know it.

Welp

And you’re not dead. Which I hope is a plus for you, given you’re ten and haven’t seen even half the horrors you’re going to yet.

Welp (this has been a very ‘welp’ four-parter so far, I’m noticing)

~~~~~

Let Gwen sleep

Welp

I wouldn’t trust Phil with a potted plant they’re letting him put shit on the Omnitrix.

Welp

Ben no.

Welp. Somebody’s gonna die.

Ben is just walking chaos in this four-parter.

Of course, the forest is saved by another thing falling from the sky. It’s like a reversal of the first episode of OS.

What the fuck are you looking at Phil? That screen don’t make no sense

....Vilgax? Is, is that you? Um, nice cloak Your Warlordship?

There is something incredibly hilarious about the idea of Vilgax being reduced to trying to essentially pickpocket the Omnitrix

Who saw this coming, raise your hands? Is that all of us? Everyone? Of course it is.

Welp

Never expected Vilgax to give me Kevin flashbacks, but then the reboot seems dedicated to throwing bits of him everywhere rather than giving us a cohesive whole Levin.

Hello Null Void bounty hunters. Nice to see you. If you could do something about the warlord parading around, that would be swell.

Well, thank you for trying.

It’s not gonna stop him, but throwing him off a cliff will delay him for a few seconds.

I gotta say though, pausing for a second, the idea of Vilgax wanting to destroy the watch this time around is very unique. Wonder what would happen if he and Prime!Vilgax met...

Bye-bye Vilgax

Welp. Sucks to be you, Benji. Or, well, not you, as the case may be.

~~~~~

Poor Ben....

What are you doing, Vilgax?

Nice Job Breaking It, Hero

There goes Gwendolyn

mrrrrrr, Tennyson Cousin Moment

Welp

Huh, this Vilgax knows how to fix the Omnitrix?

Nice Job Fixing It, Villain

Yay Upgrade!

Did, did Ben just Upgrade the Omnitrix? Oh my fudge. Holy crap.

Vilgax the Conqueror, out to destroy Earth out of spite

Welp

Bye Ben.

Goddamnit Tennyson!

Aww, Tennyson moment.

Also what do you know, Phil?

Well now they gotta have a season two, because I have too many damn questions!

9/10