#this fuckin raccoon

[raccoonfallsharder]

fanfiction masterlist i guess ♡

*this masterlist is OLD! find the new masterlist here

here's what you need to know about what is behind this cut: lots of smut, always with feelings and fluff, praise kinks, dirty talk, maybe some light d/s, enthusiastic consent. a few clean headcanons/minifics & fan art of your amazing OCs

(it's all rocket raccoon, all the time) also, please let me love your OCs (doodle requests temporarily paused)

If you would like to be added to the fanfiction update taglist (or removed), please let me know via comment, message, or ask! ♡

recently updated

headcanon 8 - rocket, lylla, & drax [NEW posted 9/17] headcanon 9 - dad glasses [NEW posted 9/21]

Reconnaissance for Beginners: An Instruction Manual (Fourteenth Visit) [ONESHOT. added 9/18] Part Three of Domestic Scenes in Space Travel

Chapter 1/6 Year Zero: Seed [NEW posted 9/24] florescence ❀ (a meetgroot)

Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared. [WIP 9/27] Chapter XV. Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly. [WIP 10/5] Window Across the Galaxy

I can't keep up with updating my kinktober prompts on a daily basis (I'm honestly amazed I've managed to keep up with the writing as well as I have and I've only been doing this for a few days) So for now, please find them with the tag #rfh kinktober and when the month is over I'll make a masterlist. [NEW all month] based on @flightlessangelwings’ Kinktober 2023 Prompt List

[complete works behind the cut ♡]

spoilers: I have a preferred trope/formula that I lean into quite hard (girl falls first; raccoon falls harder) and while I do really love tragic fanfic, I firmly believe rocket's suffered enough of that so it's only happy endings here (even if it takes a minute to get there). Well, more or less, anyway.

Domestic Scenes in Space Travel

reader x rocket fluff, medium-burn?? (at least for Part One), smut. comics-based but you don't need any comics background knowledge to read this - you just need to enjoy fluff + smut + rocket (and be 18 i guess). multiple parts. see notes for summary + warnings.

The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl Part One of Domestic Scenes in Space Travel [COMPLETE 5/5 chapters] Summary: In Rocket Raccoon: Grounded (2016) / Issue #3, Rocket asks a stranger on the ferry to "make sure nobody does anything weird" to him while he naps, and the stranger just, like, abandons him while he's sleeping?? get in loser we're gonna fix it Chapter One (The First Visit) Chapter Two (The Second Visit) Chapter Three (The Third Visit) Chapter Four (The Fourth Visit) Chapter Five (The Fifth Visit) complete post - The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl

Outer Space Safety & Spaceship Maintenance Training (Ninth Visit) Part Two of Domestic Scenes in Space Travel [Oneshot. COMPLETE 8/21] Sequel to The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl [domestic fluff, dirty talk, oral sex - mind the ao3 tags.] Summary: Study Night. or - why study when you can seduce your hot local Space Pilot into oral? When you were a kid, you imagined yourself growing up, working a cool job, living in a cute house, getting a big dog, marrying, and having kids of your own. You've currently got none of those things, but you are getting regularly railed by a raccoon-shaped cosmic adventurer, and he's currently showing you around his spaceship. Which is kinda better than anything you could have dreamed up for yourself. [comics-inspired, though i'm fucking around with timelines/continuity and you really don't need any comics-context to ride this ride] complete post - Outer Space Safety & Spaceship Maintenance Training

Reconnaissance for Beginners: An Instruction Manual (Fourteenth Visit) Part Three of Domestic Scenes in Space Travel [Oneshot. COMPLETE 9/18] [domestic fluff, dirty talk, orgasm delay, bf/gf silliness. - mind the ao3 tags.] Summary: Date Night. in a gesture of true romance, rocket takes you to a dive bar. of all the stories he's shared with you, his favorites are the ones where he gets saved by the space princess. not that he'd tell you that. ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙✧⋆｡°✩☼⋆｡°✩☽︎ loosely based on Rocket (2017): The Blue River Score. domestic bf/gf silliness & fluff. extensive smut. comics-knowledge isn't needed but HIGHLY recommend starting at the beginning of this collection for context (The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl).

florescence ❀ (a meetgroot)

[WIP: Year 0/5] [mcu-based, slight au, medium-burn, eventual smut circa chapter four. tentative allies to friends to lovers. the middle is angsty but there are only happy endings here. no use of y/n.] Summary: “The only chance we got is to get to the other side of the universe as fast as we can and maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to live full lives before that whack-job ever gets there.” Rocket & Groot leave their friends behind on Knowhere, despite the latter’s protests, and end up hiding out on a nothing-planet (with a non-extradition policy) at the edge of the Shi’ar Galaxy. It was the flowers that drew you in.

Chapter 1/6 Year Zero: Seed [NEW posted 9/24]

Blackmail Material

[WIP: Chapter 2/4] reader x rocket pwp with feelings; smut & fluff & love confessions. MCU-based, post-Endgame, friends-to-lovers. Summary: a classic tale of "this fuckin raccoon found your sex-toy." as per usual: girl falls first; raccoon falls harder. see notes for summary + warnings.

Chapter One: Blackmail Material Chapter Two: Self-Sufficience [NEW posted 8/29] Chapter Three: Firearms over Flowers ???

Window Across the Galaxy

[WIP: Chapter 15/25+] [NEW chapter posted 10/5] rocket x oc angst/hurt/comfort; slow burn + eventual smut with feelings. MCU-based. slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1. enemies to friends to lovers but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies. see notes for summary + warnings. could become 1 part of a 2-part series, if I have the energy/inspiration. Summary: Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship. Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron. Chapter III. A Kindness.in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last. Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food. Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave. Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units. in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course. Chapter VII. I'm Here.in which we visit Knowhere. Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets.in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.” Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking. Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way. Chapter XI. Let It Be. in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost. Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes. Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm. Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared. Chapter XV. Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly. [WIP 10/5]

Autopilot Systems Check [Oneshot. COMPLETE 9/3/2023] Est Word Count: 1409 reader x rocket soft fluff & domestica. MCU-based, post-Endgame i guess. Summary: reader wakes up in the middle of the night and rocket is nowhere to be found. drabble based on this post/inadvertent prompt.[complete post - Autopilot Systems Check]

Kinktober 2023

based on day 8 of @flightlessangelwings’ Kinktober 2023 Prompt List Kinktober Day 8: Turbulence. rocket needs you to hold. flarkin. still. [NEW 10/8]

Other Duties As Assigned

[WIP: ???] rocket x oc email romance/LDR (lol); slow burn + probable smut with feelings. Begins five months after The Snap. I don't have an intended outcome for this fic yet (just kind of rambling around) so this has the most uncertain publishing date. Summary: Natasha Romanoff is an administrative nightmare - a fact that does not go unnoticed by the (interim) captain of the Milano. First she demands that the remaining two Guardians of the Galaxy be reachable via a primitive Terran messaging system, and then she can't be bothered to read the frickin' emails. Thank fuck she's hired a new assistant.

Headcannons & Drabbles headcanon 1 - rocket & sex work headcanon 2 - rocket & occassional post-sex feelings headcanon 3 - quill & innocence/optimism headcanon 4 (minific/drabble) - rocket & nebula (2014) in endgame/post time-heist headcanon 5 (minific/drabble) - rocket & quill were scooped at the same time headcanon 6 - cinnamon roll peter quill continued headcanon 7 - rocket & nova corps headcanon 8 - rocket, lylla, & drax [NEW posted 9/17] headcanon 9 - dad glasses [NEW posted 9/21]

Fan Art of Your Amazing OCs (and maybe sometimes mine)

Rose (@love-for-faeries-go-burrrr ) & Moon (@glow-autumz) Thank you for letting me draw these two lovelies. You know I headcanon them as interdimensional besties ♡

Brita (@pretty-chips) is such a pure, delightfully fun character with record-store-clerk vibes. Thank you for letting me draw her. She is a glowing sunbeam-soul. ♡ another Brita wearing a terran t-shirt gifted to her by my oc, Jolie Spinner

Moon (@glow-autumz) Thank you again for letting me illustrate some of Moon's rad powers. i am OBSESSED. I appreciate so much you bringing her to life!

Chérie (Cherry) (@aliasrocket) I have a crush. 10/10 would attempt to flirt with (badly). Thank you so much for creating her and letting me doodle her!

Jolie (Window Across the Galaxy) - my gremlin child. just some scritchy-scratchy character concepts. feel free not to look if you want to imagine Jo in your own way. ♡ the "real" Jolie doodle - refined, finished, && in color

Fleuret (I think?) (@elegant-fleuret) is my personal caffeine deity. i now pray to her for the ability to scrap myself out of bed and deliverance from coffee crashes. she is also the dj of knowhere which is possibly the coolest fucking job in the universe and i would like to be her friend.

Star (@cleo-is-babygirl) is a pure fluffy little sundrop and a brilliant self-taught medic/surgeon. she is also the first tanuki/anthropomorphic animal i have drawn other than rocket so i was very nervous but i did my best. thank you for letting me try something new and expand my experience, friend!

Juno (@lazarel-3000) is one of my favorite OCs ever. she is everything. i want to be her && i want to date her (unfortunately she only has eyes for rocket).

[jessoterica]

meeting of the fursonas (feat. my old sona rocky)

[raccoonaday]

27: Bloodhunter Raccoon

ko-fi

[reactionimagesdaily]

Submitted by @kane-wolf

[bathmob]

gm everypony

[whitedragoncoranth]

So, I came up with a plan for the Arete Lab Ship Complex--we'll work the deets later or just wing it as we go along. TACTICAL SQUAD LET'S FUCKIN' GO GO GO!

[taciturnraccoon]

**wip

still handsome, still irritating me bcus of how handsome he is. now with pretty lighting

[astaraels]

Ian: oh, me and Kash have something special together—

Mickey: *throws Ian against a wall and they fuck nasty, comes by his work with the worst pickup line EVER*

Ian: sorry, Kash whomst? I got me a new man 😍

[cincreblog]

I present a Stampede version of “Did you really shoot me?!”:

My hand…my hand it hurts why? Why?? There’s so much pain in my hand!

Did you bite me? Did you actually bite me??

I can’t believe this, did you really bite me?!

Because I can’t get over this one image of Vash biting Knives during ep 12 of Tristamp I just-

[robbies-treehouse]

Shoutout to my backyard raccoon

Just found him today

Love him

[raccoonfallsharder]

°˖✧♡ kinktober 2023 ♡✧˖°

masterlist

18+ only | no use of y/n | f!reader | 12 complete days | word count: varies.

just a lot of raccoon smut (usually with feelings). mind the ao3 tags.

minimal editing (ie, typos abound; concepts are superficial; in kinktober we say "fuck everything - including plot"). based on @flightlessangelwings Kinktober 2023 prompt list. back to main masterlist.

read Day 8: Turbulence ♡ cockwarming word count: 1,229 rocket needs you to hold. flarkin. still.

read Day 9: Practice ♡ hunter/prey word count: 987 rocket requests your assistance in brushing up on some of his old résumé skills.

read Day 11: Nod for Yes ♡ blindfold word count: 1,261 rocket saves you.

read Day 12: Heavy Artillery ♡ gunplay word count: 3,796 rocket sets you up with terran internet access on knowhere.

read Day 13: Proof ♡ recording rocket wants something to remember you by while he’s away. (overlaps with ⋆｡°✩ Domestic Scenes in Space Travel ✩°｡⋆)

read Day 14: Soft ♡ nipple/tit play word count: 4,280 rocket just wants something soft.

read Day 15: Sunshine ♡ against a wall word count: 5,489 you take a stranger home. (overlaps with upcoming fic, sunshine ☀︎ ⋆⁺☁︎⋆₊⊹)

read Day 17: Triptych ♡ praise word count: 5,514 rocket’s girlfriend is a virgin in three different universes.

read Days 18 & 19: Good Dreams ♡ dacryphilia & somnophilia word count: 3,256 rocket stays up late to finish some work.

read Day 20: Tech ♡ sex toys word count: 1,326 rocket made you something.

read Day 24: Giftwrap ♡ lingerie word count: 6,484 semi-shy, ultrafeminine reader goes shopping with friends; picks out something nice for rocket. (overlaps with upcoming fic, ⋆˚.⚘𖡼𖥧𖤣 windfall 𖤣𖥧𖡼⚘.˚⋆)

read Day 31: Wyndham; or, the Intergalactic Prometheus ♡ free space 21 ~ hate sex ♡ 23 ~ dirty talk/begging/cnc ♡ 26 ~ choking ♡ 29 ~ creampie word count: 13,512 a smutty  ode to a halloween classic ♡ mary shelley’s frankenstein; or, the modern prometheus. au rocket essentially lives the creature's life; visits the high evolutionary’s bride on your wedding night per the novel. things go off the rails from there. WARNING for one-sided hate-sex; dubcon probably? references to non-sexual child abuse and grooming of reader, emotional abuse, gaslighting, vague references to suicidal ideations and planning, thoughts of death. please mind all the ao3 tags/warnings/notes.

[jessoterica]

i know i should probably be posting more but school is killing my motivation to do comms and stuff so i’m really only drawing non-shareable personal arts… that being said. have a jessica sketch

[cyberhai]

Finding out Monsoon is voiced by a stand up comedian who also voiced Deadpool and made cartoon raccoon noises for Pocahontas is one of the most perfect things I have heard all week

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

...You know I would apologize for this but tbh I'm not even sorry-

This is like the most self indulgent bullshit Ive drawn in a WHILE but for those who don't know, back in like 2016 there was this Deadpool team-up thing called Mercs for Money. I don't normally consume. Anything comics related, really, but I was already invested in one of the characters on the team and, since everybody on the team was insanely obscure aside from Deadpool, I read all the comics the Mercs for Money appeared in and became emotionally attatched to literally all of them. Then yesterday I was kinda bored and realized there are a surprising amount of parallels between the MfM and Co- and C- and C&F that I literally HAD to redraw that one MfM cover as them akrkfkekfkekfkek- Kinda sad I couldn't include everyone, but I think I picked the right characters for each spot.

I don't like how the background looks.

List of similarities under the cut for anyone interested cuz this post is getting kinda long-

The leader is completely deranged(Deadpool, Cartman)

Team has broken up at least once

There's a massive physical fight with the leader at some point

Constant infighting

One of the members is mostly just included for the dick jokes(Slapstick, Stan)

Swearing

Lets be real if C&F were actual adults they would for SURE get sued over their name and you know why

^ context for that one, the MfM were originally called the Heroes for Hire, but got sued bcuz the name was already taken

That being said, two names

Incredibly short runs

Lots of franchising(in universe)

Stingray and Kyle have similar vibes idk

One of the members goes on a rampage to get revenge for one reason or another(Madcap, Cartman)

... Ig Kenny was stuck in Cartman's head that one time, and Madcap being stuck in DP's head was a major plot point in MfM-

Okay that's all I can think of rn-

[raccoon-in-a-dumpster]

P_a_l_e_s_t_i_n_e_i_n_b_i_o

Hello tranny. You cannot rid of me that easily. It has taken me numerous attempts to figure it out, but I've concluded that you seem to be related to the other guy somehow.. time to get your inner tranny on. See you on Einsteins island.

C+, see me after class.

[attackofthe50footidiot]

“Oh Alex it’s so stereotypical of you to be a furry who’s into size difference” and you aren’t? You don’t want to be a giant anthropomorphic fluffy animal who is a perfect size for cuddling multiple smaller anthropomorphic animals? Check your priorities.