#this fuckin sent me oh my god 😂

[ithinkthiswasabadidea]

Chetney, interogating the mage, voice dripping with sarcasm:

I only have one (1) question 🤨 I mean, you seem really confident in all this, which is great, CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS 🙄 That's a heck of a thing to have the inside track on 😒

What if. this. "h o u n d". To use your brilliant terminology 😑 is let loose, consumes all the gods and we are 🙌 FREEEEE 🙌 WOO TITS OUT. If we're free and, uh, this "EnTiTy" just starts feeding? 👁👄👁

What if he doesn't stop and just continues with all the life on 👏 the 👏 planet 👏 as well? Hm?

🤨 He'll stop before that, R I G H T ? 🤨 It will?

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

https://www.tumblr.com/killatravtramp/726990126085029888/can-i-request-a-concept

Yay, I just wanted a concept where reader is scrolling through tiktok while next to jack, they’re each on their phones when the sza big boy sound comes on and he’s immediately like what are you watching 😂😂🤭🤭🤭 just a cute concept I thought, I just love jealous jack sm ☺️

"Baby. Babe. Y/N."

"Hm?" You finally answered Jack after his third call, your eyes still focused on your phone screen.

"What do you want to watch?" He listened intently for your response as he laid between your legs, his head rested on your lower stomach. The two of you were laid out on the couch after a late dinner, trying to decide on what to watch before Jack inevitably fell asleep on top of you 30 minutes later.

"Oh, baby, I don't care." You gave him a half-smile, not even bothering to look down at him.

"Sopranos it is." He grumbled, pulling up the Hulu app. His eyelids were already heavy as the episode started, and your hands raking through his curls quickly lulled him to sleep not even five minutes in.

He startled awake to the sound of your giggles as you watched a TikTok video your friend sent you.

Its cuffing season, and all the girls are leavin'...

"Can you turn that down, please, babe?" Jack rubbed his hands down his face before settling back to sleep, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Mhm." You patted his chest, not even listening to him.

We need a big boy, give me a big boy, big boy...

"What are you even watching?" Jack opened one eye, the song peaked his interest.

"Nothing. Just a TikTok video."

I need a big boy, I want a big boy, give me a big boy...

"Ok, that's enough" Jack snatched your phone out of your hand, sitting up so you couldn't grab it back from him.

"Is this the kind of guy you're attracted to?" Jack tried to hide the hurt in his voice, but it was obvious.

"What are you talking about?"

"You kept watching the video over and over again, you must have seen something you liked."

"Jack, please. I was just reading the comments, some of them were really funny." You reached for your phone again but he held it out of your reach.

He wasn't convinced. "What is it about them? I'm definitely fuckin' tall enough, so it can't be that." Even though it was bruised, he still had his pride to cling onto. "Do I need to get in the gym, put on some more muscle?"

"You're getting all worked up over nothing, babe. I love you just the way you are. Besides, you're already my big boy." You eyed his crotch, Jack's face blushing red once he noticed where your gaze had traveled. You leaned into him, your lips grazing his ear, sending a shiver down his spine. "You're big in all the ways that really matter."

"Damn right I am." Jack gritted out between his teeth, really enjoying how you were stroking his ego.

"Why don't you go to the bedroom? I'll be there in a minute." You pulled at the curls at the nape of his neck, Jack jumping to his feet, stripping his t-shirt off, revealing his toned chest. He flexed for you, giving a wink.

"Oh my god, please go!" You shooed him away, tucking your legs underneath you. You turned your attention back to your phone for a quick second.

Its cuffing season, and all the girls are leavin'...

Jack rushed back into the living room, his eyebrows scrunched together in frustration. "Now you're just fuckin' with me." He grabbed your phone, tossing it to the far end of the couch. You giggled uncontrollably as he lifted you off the couch, forcing you to the bedroom. "Fuck that video, you've got your big boy right here."

[novelcain]

Novel I have the funniest story

So I have Discord, right? And recently, my mobile Discord notifications haven't been sending. I don't know why, I have all the permissions turned on, but it won't work—whatever, right? As long as I check my phone regularly, right?

And it's been a really good day! I got the highest grade on my essay, I totally nailed a presentation, I made my favorite soup for dinner—a great day. It's around 6:50 PM and I'm cradling my soup in one hand on the couch, just relaxing from the day. It's my first break from homework for a while, and I'm enjoying it. I decide to share the positivity in one of my group chats on Discord with my close friends. So I send "@everyone love you" and I close Discord, thinking nothing else. I finish my soup, I do the dishes, and I go upstairs to play some video games on my computer.

All the while, I haven't checked my phone. I don't have Discord open on my PC, and I've been trying to cut my hours on my phone to focus on the real world (aka touching grass). I play a game, and while I'm waiting for another player to take their turn, I check my phone because I'm bored.

Strangely, I have one notification. I don't recognize what app it's from, but it looks like a text or call. I unlock my phone to check and find out it's my friend Catherine calling me on Whatsapp. Strange, right? We only use Whatsapp for sending videos that are too big for other applications and for when my internet kills Discord. (For context, Catherine is my best friend and basically the Novel to my Ritz. Also, my wifi is awful—probably why I've been struggling to receive notifications)

I think the call is weird, especially since there were no Whatsapp texts accompanying it. I try to call Catherine back, but she doesn't pick up. I reason as to why she did it—most likely I didn't respond to Discord fast enough so she tried to get my attention elsewhere. That makes sense, we do it all the time to each other. So I go and check Discord.

It opens to the channel I left it on, where I pinged my friends and told them love you. I notice I had 6 DMS, but I noticed my friends had replied and I was curious to see how they were. had already forgotten I did that, to be honest, so I go and read the responses. Let me just:

(Cami)

@everyone love you

(Raven)

LOVE YOU TOO

(Jasper)

love you too

(Slyvie)

You're the best! :)

(Raven)

Why the random love you tho?

(Sylvie)

Yeah, that confused me a bit too

(Raven)

Cam whats goin on?? Why the random love you?

And suddenly, it hits me why Catherine called.

And my first thought is: oh my god, they do not think I killed myself.

I open my DMs to Catherine, and sure enough I see: "are things mostly okay Cami? You haven't marked off anything from your accountability list, and there was the message you sent in the groupchat. I'm a little worried."

And I just go: OH MY FUCKING GOD THEY THINK I KILLED MYSELF.

Which is literally the worst way you could ever respond to "love you" with, by the way

Anyway, I explained what happened and now it's going to be an inside joke with the group. I literally despise my friends, theyre the best😭😭😭

LMAO GIRL NO! You be out here givin people heart attacks professionally istg 😭

But honestly as someone who's done this on accident too this is so funny 😂😂😂

Also my discord mobile notifs have been fuckin up too! What's up with dat? 🤔

Also!

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR SCORE!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊🎊🥳🥳🥳🥳🥂🥂🥂🥂 SO PROUD OF YOUUUUUU!!!!!

[neoninky]

Ok so I had a thought while working earlier that just led to ludicrousness lolol

And no, no one has sent me a request for Fellow Honest for the bingo game BUT

I have some thoughts on this fox man whose face I have seen all over this site (shout out to main fox waifu/destroyer @wysteriadelights and @nuitthegoddess cuz I harass you with just about every twst related thought I have 😂 but also cuz the oc x fellow art you did recently was gorgeous well done ANYWAY-) so I’m doing an indulgent self ask and answer lolol

here we go:

Alright. So.

His look? He’s got a fantastic character design. Yes I wanna steal his coat lol. I love that there is more beastman characters being canonically introduced. I’m all for world building 👍✨

He is very, very silly. Very entertaining. Shady as HELL, but entertaining lol. I’m looking forward to the event coming to the English server and experiencing the absolute tomfoolery first hand lol. Also I want them Floyd, Lilia, and Ortho cards oh my laaaawd

I - unfortunately or not, take it as you will - did not get hit with the charisma tea that swept through the internet upon his arrival. He is good looking, I do appreciate the overall character aesthetic, but he ain’t my cup o’ tea, y’all sorry…now Divus 👀 GURL-ok moving on lol

Alright fuckin FREE SPACE:

If I, Inky, were to make an actual self-insert Yuusona of sorts - I would not make her a student, even like a fourth year, cuz I’m too old lol I am beyond school age years…which is why she would absolutely be the lowkey, resting bitch faced school librarian or some professor of some sort, granted I/she would be the most lax teacher ever until it’s fuckin go time 😂 then shit gets real

Which brings me to my next point/ridiculous shenanigan scenario:

Imagine if you will - I, teacher!inky, just up at the school, doing my thing, and I find out that a handful of my dumbass main character students got shanghai’d by some rando human-trafficking fox man and his kitty cat associate bro-cousin?

To be turned into actual, cursed puppet beings??

And SOLD TO PEOPLE ON SOME SHADY BLACK MARKET ISH??? Listen there’s Overblotting and then there is actual crime-

Lawd, I would go Mama Bear on Fellow’s cane twirlin’ ass so quick, he would magical girl himself into a fur shawl for me to wear like fucking hunting trophy lol and then I’d just adopt Gidel

And then somehow drag them dumb kids back to the school my god 😂

Also note to self, now I have to create LibrarianMom!Inkysona, constantly just being over all the nonsense happening at Night Raven College. I feel that on a spiritual level lolol.

[thatpunkmaximoff]

[Book 2 of 2]

Storyline: 5/5 Smut: 10/5

So, Hunting Adeline is definitely darker than Haunting Adeline, but that was a given from every review I read about this book. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to read this book because these rape scenes greatly differ from those "rape" scenes in Haunting Adeline, but I ate this book up!

Yes, it's terrible that Adeline goes through everything she does. But I loved the way Zade handled everything and helped Adeline overcome her fears and trauma. I never thought I'd root for a stalker, but here I am rooting for Zade fuckin' Meadows lol.

Now go forth and read my thoughts as I read the book lmao:

So not a quick reunion. I’m already gonna hate it.

Day one of reading and I didn’t even last 3 pages. Not the book’s fault, it’s the inevitable storms heading my way. I’m nervous as fuck rn lol

Back to reading! Okay, so we’re back to having more letters at the end of the chapters. Who the fuck is Molly?

THE FUCKING SENATAOR’S WIFE IS WHO SET ZADE UP AND HAD ADELINE KIDNAPED?! FUCK THIS HOE!

Jay and Zade trying to call via their Bluetooth had me grinning like an idiot. *sighs* And now back to Adeline and whatever hell she’s going through.

Oh great. So the doctor’s a creep too.

I’m so glad Zade got to Daya and she’s okay. She’s gonna keep him in check on their hunt for Adeline, isn’t she?

And Adeline’s found another journal. Maybe this one will tell her how to escape.

Right off the bat, I don’t like Sydney.

..and there’s the first rape scene.

So what’s the deal with Rio? He’s so hot and cold. Do I like him? Or is he gonna prove to really be an asshole? I’m so confused.

Woo. Zade is PISSED.

And fuck Sydney! I hope Adeline kicks her ass.

She survived the Culling! But Sydney is up to something. I really hate this girl.

That’s right, Adeline. Don’t be a meek little mouse around Sydney. Show that bitch everything Zade has taught you.

Two months later. Fuckkkk.

Oh shit. Zade rescued Jillian and Gloria. They’ve told him about Adeline!

Holy shit! That’s my fucking girl! She killed Sydney and I’ve never been happier. And now Rio is helping her escape? Oh mama. I’m ready for this, although I have a bad feeling she’s gonna get caught.

THEY FOUND EACH OTHER! THEY’RE FUCKING REUNITED 😭

“I see you’re still creepy.” “Forever and always, baby.”

“Meadows, baby. Our last name is Meadows.” 😏

Omg. Sibby is back! 😂 And she was totally feeling that sexual tension between Zade and Adeline, and wanted in too lol

They found Francesca and Rocco! Fuck yes. Let the kidnappings and torture begin.

That fucking knife scene! Holy shit! And Adeline making him beg for a lick 🥵

Wow. Adeline was doing so well and then Xavier fucking sent her twenty steps back.

Oh. Oh damn. Zade took control and then Adeline took control.. and 💥 They really did that with a rose, huh 😂

Oh my fucking god. Zade making Adeline cum in front of Xavier 🤣 Fuck yes. He always wanted Adeline to moan his name, but she never did. She moaned for God. God equals Zade and now Xavier knows. He’s a jealous little bitch now.

Thank god those sick fucks are dead. Sibby playing frisbee with body parts and Zade having to search for them cracked me up.

And the re-opening of her scars and that bathtub scene. Holy shit. Why is all the weird stuff so fucking hot?

She told him she loved him!!!!

Oh damn. Her mom was shot 😬 And her dad’s being a dick.

Zade being a dick and telling Adeline he took out her IUD while fucking 😂

Claire finally got what was coming. Fuck yes.

Wait! Who the fuck is Kraven and how does he know Sibby?! You can’t do a three month time jump after that without explaining!!

And Sibby is gone. Aww.

Holy shit! They’re engaged!

Seriously?! It’s gonna end with a note from Rio?! I need more!!!!

[cetaceans-pls]

An Insistent Knead

Batman | Brujay | Requested by @setsailslash

An attempted proposal goes terribly, terribly wrong.

Lucky that Damian shows up (and throws up).

back on my bullshit writing literal nonsense!! kuro we’ve been discussing huek huek for so long it’s messed me up and i still don’t know if this is what you were expecting 😂

-

Awkward, awkward, awkward.

Jason is sat at the massive island in the Manor kitchen, elbows rudely on the counter and fingers tightly clasped in front of his face. Across from him Bruce is looking at his mug of coffee like it might hold the meaning of the universe, or preferably a way to kill him where he sat.

At the head, on an extra tall stool that everyone’s long since agreed not to acknowledge is extra tall, is Damian, looking about as queasy as a highly-trained assassin kid who’s been forced to knock back asp venom since age 4 can look.

Hell of a thing to have to deal with on a Saturday morning, but this could be endlessly worse. Jason could’ve fucked up in time for Sunday brunch, and suddenly a pre-planned proposal would’ve become more like a horrifying game of Russian Roulette.

Instead, things have gone wrong in exactly one specific way. 

“I still think I should be allowed to throw up,” Damian says mulishly.

“No, Damian,” Bruce says sharply, eyes still tight to his lukewarm coffee.

 “We don’t want to risk choking, or tearing in your throat. We just need to wait.” He looks aggrieved, which is fucking dumb, because he still carries on to say, “Things will come to pass.”

Even at 9 in the morning, Bruce still manages to duck the teaspoon sent whizzing right for his head with murderous intent. “Now, Jason, I know you’re upset-”

“Upset’s not even in top ten thousand feelings I’m feeling right now, B,” Jason snarls as he gamely tries to rip off the marble countertop to throw at Bruce’s head next. It gives a little alarming crrck, and all three of them look admiringly at the seam where Jason’s broken through the cement. “I’m gonna kill you, then I’m gonna run off to fuckin’ Swaziland.”

“It’s called Eswatini now, Todd, read a book.”

Jason gives another almighty heave before he gives up. “I will kill both of you, then go off to,” he cuts himself off, then sighs. “Off to Eswatini, fuck me.”

“I don’t know why you’re complaining so,” Damian grumbles not at all under his breath. “I am clearly the victim in this situation.”

“I know, kid, but you sure are doing a great job taking all the rest of us down with you.”

“Unlike the great job you did with baking bread.”

The worst thing is that Jason can’t even contest that. He groans, and rubs at his face. “It wasn’t supposed to go in it, it was supposed to go on top of the dessert. Rings are real fucking small, all right? Anyone could’ve misplaced it. Why’re you going ‘round eating things I made for Bruce anyways?”

“I have rights, Todd. Bread has never been restricted content in this household.”

Jason tries not to scream. “Even if that’s the case, kid, how’re you so highly-trained that you can scent a drop of poison in a bowl of salad cream but you can choke back a whole ass ring without noticing?”

At this, finally, Damian has the sense to look abashed. He glances quickly at Bruce like he’s embarrassed because this is being brought to light in front of his dad, when he should really be embarrassed for doing this to Jason, oh my god. “Gold isn’t poisonous,” he says, and then another quick, more worried glance. “And I was also trained to swallow practical items like keys and vials. It became second nature.”

Ah, that’s why the worry. Bruce’s face is practiced smooth, not a furrow for miles around, but the hand around his mug has gone so tight porcelain cracked. “I see,” is all he says, staring blankly out the window. “That isn’t a reasonable thing to make a child do, Damian.”

“Of course, Father!” Damian says devoutly, while Jason really wants to intrude and be like, it’s not a reasonable thing to make yourself do either, bud.

There’s more important things at hand, though. “Fine, okay, it’s my bad for planning a proposal in this stupid house instead of my place. Alfred refuses to come teach me how to cook at the flat ‘cos I don’t have gas burners, so really if you think about it we’re in all of this trouble because he’s a little classist.” Okay, good, that reset the mood really well, Damian looking excited for this little tidbit he will use to stab Jason in the back at the next family dinner.

Bruce just looks relieved that Damian’s not running a mental inventory of all the things he’s been made to force down before he was old enough for school, so yeah, win-win. “Anyways, while I’m super up for killing the rich, et cetera, I don’t want to hold hands with a man wearing an ass ring. It’s a hard limit for me, so kid just crap it out without looking and I’ll go get something new.”

This has both Bruce and Damian frowning, which is alarming for Jason because what the hell do they both have to be in agreement with?!

Bruce goes first, and Jason knew it was going to be insane, what came out of his mouth, but he hadn’t anticipated it would be This Insane. “It’s the ring you chose for me,” Bruce says gravely. “It’s the one you thought was right. Is it really something so replaceable?”

How do you respond to that? It’s not a matter of replaceability, but it might look like it is, and Jason doesn’t know how to say yes, it took him months of absently keeping an eye out for something that felt right to pick it, but also he’s willing to take a few months more to do it again.

The thing about it that isn’t replaceable he’s still going to keep, y’know?

“If you say ‘ass ring’ in my vicinity again Todd, I will kill you. I’ll make it come up. One time I managed to regurgitate a 5 ounce bottle of blood-clotting agent. This is nothing.” And he starts, Christ, he starts convulsing, abdomen rippling alarmingly, going huek huek huek right at the kitchen counter.

Oh my god, it’s too early in the day for things to be going this wrong, and Alfred’s still away hand-selecting the side of venison Jason was supposed to cook for tonight. If he comes home to Jason sieving through throw-up for the ring, Jason will get disowned.

Who’s going to keep Bruce then? This is truly the worst timeline.

“Damian, you little freak, stop that the hell right now!”

“Damian, I told you, you could get hurt, just let it pass-”

“Stop saying let it pass!!” Jason shouts as he rushes Damian, trying to figure out how to make someone not throw up. The little bastard squirms away, the whole time making that godawful sound.

Bruce is standing at the counter, and he’s trying to use Maximum Dad Voice to get Damian to listen, get Damian to “Stop, Damian, stop it right this instance!”

Like father like son, though, because Damian’s listening to the voice of reason about as well as Bruce usually does. How did he get up the cabinets so quick? Jason eyes him warily. It’s home to Alfred’s Very Best China, the one that he wouldn’t even bring out for the Queen, probably, and Jason’s way too heavy to risk bringing the cabinet and all the crockery down with him. “Damian, holy shit, you’re really the absolute worst!” 

The hacking sounds get worse as Jason runs to pull a table over he can climb up on, while Bruce remains by their breakfast, pinching the bridge of his nose and doing breathing exercises. Good man, Jason’s just going to leave him to it, and deal with this-

There’s one almighty godawful HRHGHKHK, and Damian peers over the edge of the cabinet, red-cheeked and grinning. “I think you’ll find, Todd, that I’m actually the favourite,” Damian says with a regurgitated ring held up like he’s holding something priceless instead of just the culmination of almost two damn years of hard, loving work, “and don’t you forget it.”

Jason groans so fucking hard that he almost misses Bruce’s tired “I haven’t even been asked yet.”

-

an: based somewhat on a true story. i really hearing anecdotes from ppl bc when you hear a balls to the wall insane story and the person telling it seems to think that’s regular and reasonable and normal you form an understanding of a person in a way so intimate it’s almost carnal??? lmao anyways

[parisiangiraffe]

Wuts ur most memorable cosplay related memory?

A few came to mind all at once S O:

-We were at a con where all the whole cast of team RWBY were guests, and my friend and I were walking around as Cinder and Ruby. We stopped near their booths and were deciding when to get autographs, and didn’t notice Lindsay was coming up to us until they said CINDER HOW COULD YOU (I think in reference to the fact I had the spear(?) that Cinder fuckin impaled Weiss with with me—) in their Ruby voice and I lost my damn mind 😩😂

-When we did our RWBY villain group for the first time (and I was deadass screaming when my friend who does Emerald agreed to it) and we were at a con walking around. Someone saw us, stopped whatever they were doing, and just went OH MY GOD, YOU’RE REAL and inside I was just

It was a gr8 feeling

Also when I asked the same friend to be my Ilia and she just sent this in response: