#this is a fic for all the buckley parent haters out there

[donationwayne]

Feelin Good (Could be Better) Chapter Three

Hello, I've posted chapter three of ten of my first ever chapter fic!!

You can read the first, second, and third chapter of my fic over on AO3 right here

Summary

The Buckley parents come to town, turning Buck's already shaky mental status from precarious to worse. Despite avoiding a dreaded dinner at all costs, Buck consents to join Maddie, Chimney, and his parents for dinner. Buck is super fine thanks for asking, he'll just bake about it. And think about kissing Eddie, obviously. Secrets are revealed, leaving the 118 reeling.

snippet

He felt safe here, on the complete opposite side of the US. Buck has been spiraling so badly since that dream he worries seeing them will only make things so much worse. He knows it’ll set him back that much further. “I would have taken vacation time to skip town if I’d known sooner.” That does earn him a reaction from both Bobby and Eddie, who simultaneously raise their eyebrows. It would be comical if Buck wasn’t filled with such existential dread. In therapy, Buck avoided talking about his parents like the plague. Dr. Copeland had noticed him dodging the questions each and every session—she never let up in her pursuit of asking after them, but she was also content to wait until he was ready, simply prodding him in the meantime. They had plenty of other work to do first anyway. It could wait in the wings until the moment he had enough strength to address the elephant in the room. He thinks he knows what she’ll say, and Buck knows he’s not ready to hear it.

[donationwayne]

Feelin Good (Could be Better) Chapter One

Hello, I have posted the first chapter of my first ever chapter fic which I am super stoked about!!! This is is already completed so I will be posting chapters completely randomly because I am a chaos demon. (fic is about 24.5k total!)

You can read the first chapter of my fic over on AO3 right here

Summary

The Buckley parents come to town, turning Buck's already shaky mental status from precarious to worse. Despite avoiding a dreaded dinner at all costs, Buck consents to join Maddie, Chimney, and his parents for dinner. Buck is super fine thanks for asking, he'll just bake about it. And think about kissing Eddie, obviously. Secrets are revealed, leaving the 118 reeling.

Snippet

“No, I don’t think I’m cut out to be a parent.” Buck answers instead, truthfully. Hen sends him a strange look. There is an odd, almost hesitant lilt to her tone that Buck can't dissect. “And why not?” Buck shakes his head. “I doubt it's in the cards.” He tries to be flippant so he can play it off as one of his usual perpetually single self-deprecating jokes. Chim frowns, all trace of teasing gone, when he sees how uncharacteristically serious Buck’s own expression is despite the attempt at humor. “And just why do you think you’d be a bad father? You’re great with Chris and Jee.” What Buck doesn’t say is that he could never commit himself to the possibility of becoming either of his parents. Sometimes he still tastes the blood in his mouth from a split lip or a bloody nose. It would never be worth the risk. “Yeah, it sort of surprises me,” Hen admits. “I always figured you would settle down and have a herd of little Buckley’s, even if you just adopted. You always get so wistful when you’re babysitting.” Buck simply shrugs because he fears his voice might crack. This conversation felt a little too vulnerable, especially for a lighthearted trip to the park after a late lunch on their day off. It wasn’t a discussion he was prepared to have right now—especially without delving into the dirty details of his childhood. Eddie, who was apparently listening in from his post by the slide, is staring at him as though he’s trying to put together a complicated puzzle, and the answer is written somewhere in Buck's eyes. He looks shell-shocked and a bit like Buck had open hand slapped him across the face by informing them he never intended to become a father.