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#this is a gift if comes with a price
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oh right, technically i sell t-shirts
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i forgot about that
#holidays are coming up and it would make a terrible gift#that's the main selling point#anyways these exist and can be exchanged for legal tender#the cost is the listed price + the emotional expense of knowing that i am judging u#bc i am. i am judging u#why would u want this. why would u exchange currency for this#there are so many other things you could exchnage currency for instead#a grocery store shrimp platter for instance#with the nauseatingly red cocktail sauce that is SO much better than a t shirt any time#hmm chicken picatta at a local Italian Eatery perchance? i am. a big fan of anything picatta#oh oh i know! 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH OKRA#FOR THE COST OF THIS FRIVOLOUS T SHIRT U COULD INSTEAD PURCHASE 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH DELICIOUS OKRA#and then --hold on i have a recipe--and then what u do is#so it is basically sacrilege to suggest this but what u do is u skip the cornmeal entirely#my southern ancestors are shaking a wooden spoon at me right now but LISTEN. u skip. the gotdang. cornmeal#instead: wash chop and soak (for 10 min) the okra in a mixture of 1 egg to tblsp water#then coat in flour#THATS IT JUST FLOUR#No cornmeal. i am betraying my heritage rn but I'm RIGHT#coat in flour sprinkle liberally in S&P and FRY that suck in veg oil high heat#until crispy & brown & u hear your arteries clenching in apprehension#so. so yeah#that's what u should do instead of buying this shirt go fry the shit out of some okra#(but buy local and young & tender if u can bc the grocery store is full of old-and-therefore-super-stiff specimens#pro tip (aka grandma tip): if u can't chop okra smoothly with your normal cutting knife then it's too old and tough.#...i mean u probably CAN still fry the shit out of it I've certainly done that before it's just much less delicious#ANYWAY. anyway ANYWAY. shirt. okra. farmers market. that reminds me of a post i made back when we first started selling these dang shorts#shirts. shorts shorts. oh shit i should make a crop top option.#i. i don't Know How to make a crop top option#HUH . . . i need to lie down now and contemplate the constant and irreconcilable limitations of the human experience good night
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auspicioustidings · 1 month
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Kyle does a very fun form of gaslighting (gazlighting if you will) wherein he won't do things without getting something in return. Like sure it's cute and fun the first time you ask him if he wouldn't mind driving you to work and he picks you up early so he can take payment in the carpark with his cock down your throat because it's just new relationship flirting and horniness right?
Wrong. You are a year in and some unholy bastard child of a tradwife and a free use sex slave. Anytime you need help with anything from dishes to getting the oil changed in the car to even having medicine picked up when you are ill you need to pay for it and he sets the price. But he's been doing it from the very start, boiling you slowly in the pot as it were, so you'd never realise how fucked up your relationship and the power dymanic in it is. And payment applies to everything, even if you never asked him to do the task in the first place, so at anytime he might bend you over, shove a wine bottle inside you and take a photo because wasn't it nice of him to buy you a bottle of wine and don't you think he deserves to get a little photo for it?
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fictionadventurer · 1 month
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August: Day 8
Adventures
Went to a thrift store and the library's used bookshop.
Bought a copy of Around the World in 80 Days that looks more readable than my current copy (so long as it's not an abridged children's edition). May make a new cover for it.
Bought a book about the basics of astronomy. If I'm going to write about an astronomer, I need to know a tiny bit, and this looks like it's written for idiots with short attention spans, so it'll be great for me.
Bought the coolest pop-up book I've ever seen. For a quarter. I'll have to show you guys pictures.
Treated myself to Youtube videos about Victorian literature. Indulged in a few Gutenberg downloads. Read the first chapter of Lady Audley's Secret and this may derail all my reading plans until I finish.
Accomplishments
Read a few chapters of Heretics. Am now halfway done.
Tire. Twice.
Signed up for a CPR refresher course
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1o1percentmilk · 9 months
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Commission for a close friend \(•u•\)
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uniquezombiedestiny · 2 months
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I look around, but I can't find you (raise it up) If only I could see your face (raise it up) Instead of rushing towards the skyline (raise it up) I wish that I could just be brave
(artfight attack for @simikae again <3 ft. archer!)
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violetspark14 · 11 months
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do you take requests? if so could you draw some elder price angst with elder Cunningham comforting him?
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oh anon you have No idea how badly i wanted to draw this
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wandalives · 1 year
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You may not believe it but this is the same character
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yshtal · 22 days
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one thing about a grey warden playlist is that I WILL be putting rabbit heart (raise it up) by florence + the machine on em every single time
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bethanydelleman · 2 years
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The table between the windows was covered with work-boxes and netting-boxes which had been given her at different times, principally by Tom; and she grew bewildered as to the amount of the debt which all these kind remembrances produced. Mansfield Park, Ch 26
I love the fact that Fanny is always being given many duplicate sewing materials by Tom, who seems to know nothing about her past that she sews because this is so typical.
I tend to be given "art stuff" because people know I paint. People know my husband likes the Maple Leafs (hockey team) so we always get random Maple Leafs stuff. In Canada, the most common generic gift is a Tim Hortons gift card (coffee shop founded by a hockey player) because everyone loves coffee right? We have a stack of them because we rarely go. If you are a woman, I know you’ve been given Generic Box of Matching Smelly Soaps TM.
Fanny is feeling grateful for gifts that are generic and duplicates, she is really kind to her cousins. I'm polite in person before I plan my regifting...
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So tonight I discovered searchandrescuewoods and I suddenly understand why people have a tendency to react wildly disproportionately to the fox skull story now.
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lepetitfruit · 10 months
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I was thinking about how much I hate clipping my fingernails earlier which led me to think about how fucked up it would be if your teeth never stopped growing and then I have to take a pause because. That's literally just horses
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ssomisadventures · 11 months
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Found a relic in my basement!
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lunaechaos · 2 months
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terribly agatha harkness coded
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sl33pyperson · 3 months
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for legal reasons this is a bit
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lazer-screwdriver · 8 months
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Going so insane thinking about Liz and Jack’s difference of opinion on immortality.
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daincrediblegg · 4 months
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Man why did I even go to therapy today when all I was gonna do is have a breakdown about my dad at the end of the day anyway
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