#this is a queued post I'll still be in class when this thing posts

[fangbangerghoul]

I've been recovering from my exposure to the sun yesterday. I'm hoping to have some kind of Sunday snippet tomorrow but I'm not sure what it will be. Will it be my crochet project? My DD2 wip? My other wip?

I'm super sensative to heat on top of being on medication that makes me super sensative to heat so it was a double whamy yesterday. I was genuinely surprised I didn't have a heat stroke but I'm pretty sure immediately getting a cold shower as soon as I came home is what saved that from happening. But the recovery took a 12 hour nap and lots of water and carbs.

Also I've been busy on "vacation" these past few days. Vacation is in quotation marks because vacation with children is technically work in my eyes lmfao. I still had a decent time and my kid had a blast and that's what matters to me. Even if my tism got the best of me in some moments and I thought I was going to scream; I didn't.

It's not the end of the world if I don't have anything for tomorrow but I enjoying having Wednesdays and Sundays being a day to post some of my work. Especially since August is coming closer every day and when my semester starts I'm not sure how consistent I'll be with my classes.

It also doesn't help that my friend was in the hospital while I was at the Zoo enjoying my day. I didn't know till after the visit that's what had happened. We started a fund for her to help her with her continuous unexplained seizures now that they are seriously effecting her quality of life.

This all in all was a random rant for things. Plus I haven't had any queued posts set up and I'm not sure when I'll be able to have my DD2 posts queued again. So heres a post. Lol

[wild-wombytch]

Ok, I'll pin this before shits go insane. The TL;DR is that I'll be temporarily uninstalling social medias so I have no idea whether I'll reply to about everything or when. All the following posts on this blog are queued. I'm probably not leaving radblr, just going on hiatus.

Putting the rest under the cut because I feel the best thing to do is being open-hearted and honest. I want to explain the reasoning nobody cares about behind it and I don't want to spam everyone's dash about this : (TW negativity, mental health, trauma dumping?, personal, pretty lengthy, blah)

I'm definitely overdramatic due to my own mental shits, but I'm getting SERIOUS anxiety from my reply to this post about poverty and middle class.

I don't regret it per se. I almost chose to ignore it because this is a painful topic and those who never experienced it wouldn't believe the amount of spits in the face you get from the middle-class as someone poor in the form of about daily microagressions and what trash you interiorize from it (you don't get much from billionaires because they don't even know we exist and they clearly don't frequent us, they fuck with us as a class but not on an individual level). As everything engaged with emotionally, it can quickly become a bomb. Yet, radblr has made (and still makes, we're all WIP after all) me someone less passive and more inclined to speak up. I'll never be grateful enough for that. So I chose to "woman-up" and make my voice heard. As insignificant as it seems. Because no one can talk for me better than myself.

Maybe it's absolutely nothing for a lot of people (and I guess it objectively IS nothing) but it is ENORMOUS for someone battling crippling anxiety (and I'm not choosing the word "crippling" lightly. My mental health literally gives me such tangible physical pains, gluing themselves to my already existing back issues/arthrodesis that I am physically disabled. I am heavily medicated. I am in a day hospital. I recently genuinely considered asking for a full-time internment in a mental hospital for maybe a month or two because I am becoming dangerous for myself and a burden). I used to be so passive, shy and anxious that I wouldn't voice my opinion at all in fear, that's how I got into the TRA movement so obediently. Exactly the example of Solanas about women completely conditioned out of their female power and inner worlds by their fathers, then becoming the emotional rags and handmaiden of every other men. I'm slowly unlearning that. Participating in something like that was part of the process. I don't know if I dose well. If I should dose and not be too "spicy" at all. Probably not. Radfems showed me the key to my shackles and I'm just starting to understand how it works. Yet, now I'm projecting all of my past experiences on this and fear I'm from one hand encouraged in a direction and going to get my neck broken for it from the other as a punishment. I shouldn't care, yet I still do at this point of my journey.

Again, I'm a mental mess. All is a bit blurry and unreasonable when we talk about anxiety/ptsd. I fear I'm going to get terfed out the terves and cancelled, do to speak. And it is oddly terrifying due to the mess I internalized and how highly and gratefully I look at radfems, with my tendency to idealize.

So when I was about 70% of my reply and I rechecked the whole thread to see it was Tepkunset out of all the Tumblr users I was "siding with"...fuck, did I stutter a nervous laugh. When I made this blog, I made a point to avoid interacting with hers, because I also used (and still do, to some degrees) highly look up to her. Like radfems, she is smart, brave and outspoken and I was all starry-eyed for her. She doesn't know of me and would probably block me on sight now (and probably will if that's not already done by seeing my reply), but she had genuinely been a model to me and got me in social justice and to think deeply about a lot of things, including myself as someone existing within bigger systems. I'm not making shits up when I say she changed the course of my life and I wouldn't be here in my journey if it wasn't for her. It was a process for me to actually embrace "heresy" and accept that I disagreed with her, my icon, about gender issues (which is a shame, because I think if cancel culture wasn't such a thing, she would genuinely be an amazing person to debate with). I've never been into celebs cult but that definitely was a close one. That's why I didn't interact with her blog, other than sometimes paying a visit and reblogging through other blogs as to not be blocked by her. Because I genuinely still respect her and want to hear about her thoughts even if I don't necessarily agree with them anymore, and want to see if she's okay and sometimes I rake my drawers to send money her way when life gets Bad™.

So that's some bullshit irony there that I feel torn in my "loyalties" among people I deeply admire yet disagree with and who themselves probably only intereacted with me anecdotally and know of me as much as they know of the flies in their kitchens. So essentially all that noise is in my head only yet what if I told you my back pains that almost miraculously vanished after seeing an osteopath yesterday just came back and now I can't lay on my back at all, no matter how many painkillers I take? Yes, I'm stressing out that bad over a Tumblr post no one cares about. If it was a telenovela it would be one of these scenes where a character is caught between a fight between their current crush and ex and has to pick a side and gets rightfully dumped by both.

So yeah, it also stirred a lot of things I haven't processed yet about my TRA days and even shittier moments of my life. I definitely wasn't ready for that.

I also genuinely internalized that I shine in society by not being very smart or useful or assertive like the women I admire so much. I'm not even sure about what I write, because I have no inner voice, my thoughts happen as I voice them, my brain is barren cotton, a perpetual state of dream. I don't know which of my memories are exact and which are dreams and past thoughts. I have amnesia of full discussions I had and consents I gave and I am completely stunned when people prove me I said something, because, in all good faith, I have not a shred of memory. Maybe a drop of a hazy memory you'd have in a dream. My past self and my current self both seem unreal, like other people. So I stick to ideas I have of my identity, shards of it, labels. I fiercely defend them because they are the only sense of self I perceive at all. Because I don't even feel human outside of thel. So I still have the same fear as during my TRA days that a breeze can make everything crumble. Most women here are very bright, it would take nothing to unmask the lack of ability I have to counter, to emotionally rein myself in, to construct a consistent data-based retort. That's why I was afraid of radfems in my TRA days already.

Anyway, that plus my irl social life being toxic currently makes me cope by going on social medias, which I know are awful for my mental health, yet I persist inflicting that on myself. There are several medical leaves at the day hospital so I'm ~aLoNe~ with my shits. Then you know the shit circle of life it is : not sleeping, not eating, being more anxious, sleeping less, being more anxious, eating less, reflecting too deeply on which way of sabotaging myself is the most reasonable...

So radical times call for radical measures. I'm deleting temporarily all of my apps instead of seeing notifications all the time and obsessively checking if everyone hates me yet or if nobody cares and pondering which is worse by looking at a wall for a whole day trying to not think about SH. That's stupid, and cowardly and pathetic and unfair towards people who reads me and puts thoughts in their replies and it's many other ugly things probably. But if I don't I'll implode. I just want to break the circle of feeling like shit and back pains that ruin my life so I can get back on my legs and maybe tackle one thing at a time. And I quite literally need to touch grass, even if I don't want to see anyone in my irl circles for now.

I don't know if any of this made sense. I'd probably also regret dumping all that tomorrow. Sedation is finally starting to work, so I guess that's why I m so talkative so I'll surf on it, post this, delete everything and pray I'll also forget about this until it randomly pops into my mind and gives me an existential crisis 20y from now. Should I even be given a right to vote and access to internet until I'm fixed? Are those rights part of the reconstruction process and of creating a sense of self?

Idk, I'm just tired. I wish you all well during this time. Radblr is wonderful despite occasional disagreements. I hope we can still be sisters after that and hope you won't think less of me. If you do, well, you're probably right, I also think less of myself every time I dare to exist and open the mouth. I am also the daughter of my father, after all, so I have plenty of reasons to think I deserve my own hatred and other people's.

I said I needed to be honest and open hearted so I've been. That's also why it's the over sharing website I guess? Here's a random gif to conclude this because I don't know what else to say and this is all fairly embarrassing:

[doki-doki-lesbians-club]

Hey. Just wanted to check in and see how you were doing and if you're feeling okay. <3

Hi there! You're incredibly sweet, yes I'm doing alright <3 I've just had some stuff stacking up in my personal life lately that's kept me from checking Tumblr often, and by extension, updating this blog with new content.

In case I haven't mentioned it before, I've been doing classes at my local community college, and have finally decided to transfer to a full 4-year university! I start in the fall, but I'm looking to move into a new house with new roommates sometime this summer, find a job in a new town, and just general start a new chapter in my life. As well as moving and starting school, I'm looking to start HRT as soon as I have a steady income.

Sorry to use your ask as a bit of an update post ahaha! Just wanted to put some more info out about where I am, what I'm doing, and my this blog isn't as active as it once was. Don't get me wrong; I don't intend to stop working on this! I still update things when I can with reblogs and queued posts, might make some new posts soon since I have a friend who just started playing a bit of the game for the first time :3 so we'll see! And once I'm settled into my new place and start working, I'm sure I'll find a more steady schedule to check in here, perhaps a couple days a week at least, to keep things flowing.

Thank you to everyone who follows this blog! It's so great to see all the DDLC fans and DDLC-interested people in 2024 and beyond, and I'm happy to shine a small spotlight on some great artists in the community who continue to churn out amazing content! Hopefully we all have many fun years ahead of us!

[floralbfs]

YALL I THINK I HAVE MADE FRIENDS IN CLASS

[writing-wyns]

seven years

I had an idea, and then I did the idea. And then it spiraled out of control. 

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!!! Here’s some pointless fluff featuring your fave boys except they’re like almost 30 years old and still gross as ever. 

Enjoy!

AO3

Bokuto swears that there is something definitely up about sci-fi movies. Not a bad something, but it whooshes around in his stomach, making it twist and knot and he wants the feeling gone. It’s makes him wiggle in his spot on the couch like he’s got a bad case of the ants in the pants and for all he knows, maybe he does. He’s happy, for sure, he’s happy because Kuroo is there, sitting on his feet like he always does and looks damn good in their home: the lights from the TV are soft on his form, contrasting the nightfall shadows, it highlights his angled nose and dyes his already dark hair with shades of pink and red.

His hands are clammy and he touches his fingers to the palms before wiping them on his tshirt with a look of mild disgust. It’s not a bad feeling he has, he knows this for a fact, but he’s positive his stomach just folded in on itself, and that is definitely not good. It’s when he wiggles his toes, where they’re wedged under Kuroo’s ass does he realize just what in the hell is up.

“What are you smiling for?” Kuroo asks, looking at him now. His eyes are squinted because of how dark it is, but the TV flashes onto his face for a quick second and all Bokuto can see is pure joy.

“I’m not smiling,” Bokuto says, but he knows it’s a lie as soon as he says it because his cheeks burn, like he’s been smiling all this time, and - holy hell - he has been.

Kuroo is smiling too now, it grows slowly, creeping up on his face like the morning’s sunrise. “Yes you are,” he singsongs.

He’s giggling -giggling of all things - like a fucking school girl, and he throws his head back on the armrest of the couch, slaps his hands over his face as a cover, and mumbles out around a laugh, “I am definitely not smiling.”

“You are clearly smiling you goober,” Kuroo’s laughing too now. Bokuto’s thinks they’ve caught some weird new disease. Where the symptoms include: spontaneous smiling, random outbursts of laughing, and in severe cases - like himself - not being able to look your boyfriend in the eye. “C’mon Kou, spill the beans,” Kuroo says, his hands are on Bokuto’s knees now and he’s shaking them, as if he could shake an answer right out of him.

“I’m not telling.” His cheeks ache now, and he’s one hundred percent positive that if you looked up ‘face splitting grin’ in the dictionary it would be a picture of him at that exact moment.

Bokuto can feel Kuroo crawl up his body, laying on top of him til they’re face to face, the only thing blocking them from looking at each other is the permanent fixture of his hands on his own face.

“I can’t believe you’re really gonna leave me hanging like this,” Kuroo says to his hands. Bokuto can feel him tug at his wrists and he presses his fingers to his face in resistance. “It can’t be that bad can it?”

Bokuto wants to scream. His heart is in his stomach, or maybe his stomach is at maximum whoosh, maybe his whole entire organ system has exploded, or - or something. “It really is that bad,” he mutters into his hands, “It is so so bad.”

“Like on a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?”

“Thirteen.”

Kuroo is laughing so hard at the admission that Bokuto can barely make out the “oh my god” he manages to choke out. It’s a pretty opportune time to sneak a peek at the man above him, Bokuto thinks, but dear god was he wrong,; because Kuroo’s face is bright and grinning, beaming that lopsided grin he does when he just can’t help himself. Where his eyes crinkle at the ends, and his teeth show, and his nose scrunches up ever so slightly; and Bokuto doesn’t know what the fuck his organs are doing, but it is so goddamn painful that all he can do is let out the weakest of groans as he slides his body even further across the armrest and off the couch.

Kuroo slides down his body with the movement, his chin coming to a rest on Bokuto’s chest, nothing but amusement in his voice when he asks, “What now?”

Bokuto huffs out a breath, his hands haven’t left his face for a single moment, and presses his fingers even harder to his skin, desperately trying to hide that stupid smile that just won’t go away. “You promise you won’t laugh?”

“I will not make a single sound,” Kuroo promises.

“Okay?” Bokuto breathes out the question to himself, and he hears Kuroo echo the word. He takes in a deep breath, filling his lungs, lets it go all in one breath, and says, “I like you so much, like a whole lot, and I am physically dying.”

There’s one whole second of silence til Bokuto tentatively moves his hands away from his face and chances a look at Kuroo, his hand flying back up immediately at the sight.

“You said you wouldn’t laugh!”

Kuroo’s lips are pressed so thin, mouth twisted off to the side, that he can barely manage an, “I’m not!” without completely losing it.

“You’re smiling,” Bokuto accuses.

Kuroo takes a deep breath, a sad attempt to smother the bubbles of laughter that are threatening to escape. “You didn’t say I couldn’t smile.”

Another pained groan makes its way out, and Bokuto’s face is so flushed and red he doesn’t think he’ll ever return to his normal state. “I can hear you laughing you know,” if Kuroo wasn’t laying on top of him, Bokuto would have kicked him. Off the couch, preferably.

“We’re already dating,” Kuroo can barely talk he’s laughing so hard, “for years!”

“I knoooooow,” he says dragging the word out like it hurts.

“I can not believe I am being confessed to seven years into a relationship,” Bokuto interjects with a ‘shut up’ but it doesn’t look like Kuroo wants to let this one go anytime soon. “And you’re embarrassed? Gotta admit it, that’s my favorite part.”

“I take it back, I don’t like you at all. You’re the worst.”

Kuroo wiggles back up, like a giggling little snake on a mission, til he’s right in Bokuto’s face, all smug smiles. “Seven years, and you ‘like’ me? Honestly Kou, I’m a little insulted.”

Bokuto lets his head fall back against the armrest, muttering “when will you stop?” under his breath, Kuroo ignoring his obvious suffering all the while.

“I mean, you’d think after seven fucking years, someone would be, oh I don’t know, in love? Is that what you meant? Don’t tell me you were too embarrassed to tell me you love me? I won’t judge you, ya know, I’m pretty irresistible.”

“That’s it!” And Bokuto is slapping a hand over his mouth because obviously Kuroo does not know how to shut up on his own. “What can I do to make you drop this?”

Kuroo pries the hand off his face, fixing Bokuto with a look that speaks trouble.

“Say it,” Kuroo demands, like he’s got Bokuto right where he wants him.

“Say what?

“Tell me you love me and I won’t mention any of this.”

Bokuto is trying his best to glare at him but he must be doing an awful job because the smile that was already on Kuroo’s face only grows bigger. He slaps a hand over his lips again, but he can feel the upward tilt of his lips in that signature grin of his, and if that wasn’t already enough, Kuroo had taken to wiggling his eyebrows. And it is both the worst and the cutest thing Bokuto has ever witnessed in his life.

I’m a goner, Bokuto thinks. He has died and gone to heaven because of this man, he’s been resurrected and only to die again because of him and he’ll do it a thousand times over. It’s something he knows for a fact, something that is indisputable, and it grinds his weak, fragile heart into a pulp. A small little pulp because the world’s biggest idiot is lying on top of him with a smile that has reached his eyes, a pulp because it’s been seven goddamn years and he’s still not over it.

And he never will be.

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” he moves the hand from Kuroo’s mouth to his cheek, cupping it gently, thumb stroking in small circles. There is nothing special about the way Kuroo looks in that moment, there’s a day old beard on his jaw, his age has long since started to show, and he’s wearing that same old ratty tshirt from college, and yet - Bokuto is positively melting at the sight. “Kuroo Tetsurou, I am positively and absolutely head over heels and disgustingly in love with you.”

“Disgustingly?” Kuroo asks, his own personal way of trying to keep cool.

“Disgustingly.” He affirms, and Kuroo is nuzzling his cheek into his hand at the word.

The happiest little sound filters out of him, bubbling over til it fills the entire room. Its contagious and Bokuto can’t stop himself from laughing too. “Lucky for you,” he says, scooching closer and closer, their eyes crossing, “I too am positively and absolutely head over heels and disgustingly in love with you.”

They’re giggling way too much to kiss properly, like a couple still stuck in their honeymoon phase, and maybe they are. Maybe they never learned how not to be in the honeymoon phase, still caught up in the whirlwind of crushes turned first dates and tentative kisses on their parent’s doorstep.

It’s been seven years, still stuck in their honeymoon phase, and Kuroo is smiling way too much when he tries to kiss him, his lips instead finding the bridge of Bokuto’s nose and it only makes them laugh even more. He is content and pleased and thrumming like he’s on cloud nine itself with Kuroo peppering kisses all over his face, their laughter never coming to an end.

“Seven years?” He says, kissing Bokuto on the cheek and snorting.

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” And Bokuto is squealing, pushing his face away but it’s been long seven years and he couldn’t be any happier if he tried.

[fleetingfigures]

Mitigation made Manifest - A Scholar Analysis

Hello everyone, and welcome to the first part of my analysis series! Today we're going to be taking a look at the titular Scholar job, as well as delve into how it works, what it excels at, what it comes short on, and how well it is designed!

In an effort to keep everything organized, I'll section off this post into 4 main portions. If you're on a computer, you can use ctrl+f (or command+f if you're on a mac) to search for the following headings:

[ Basics ] [ How Scholar Works ] [ Gameplay, Tips and Design ] [ Final Evaluation ]

With that out of the way, let us begin!

[ Basics ]

Before we dive into Scholar, I believe I must go over a few things, the first being the issue of Scholar’s origin. Scholar, and by extension, its sibling, Summoner, have a unique system wherein they originate from the same base class, Arcanist, and also share each others’ levels (i.e if you level Summoner to 71, your Scholar will also be 71). As per most jobs, many of the base class’ actions translate to its advanced jobs, but the issue comes in its respective role - Arcanist is a magical dps. For Summoner, this is a fine transition as they share this role, but for Scholar, it is a tad awkward. At no point in your time as an arcanist are you ever really taught how healing in FFXIV functions, nor is it ever your ‘job’. The only real healer you can even start the game with is Conjurer, and beyond that, if you want to pick up a healer on the side without a level skip, only Astrologian and Conjurer are healers right out of the gate. As such, It’s hard to recommend Scholar as someone’s first healer as its levelling experience does not translate to how healers are played effectively.

Though, on this topic of effective healer play, I also feel the need to describe XIV’s healing design. At its core, a healer’s job is to obviously keep the party, and most importantly their tank, from dying. But, this is where some issues arise. In higher-end content, a healer is expected to also carry their weight in terms of DPS, and should have comparable RDPS (Damage taking into account buffs/debuffs applied) to that of a party’s tanks. This brings me to the focus of XIV’s healer philosophy: One is to balance the healing they must do with the damage they output. Spending all of your MP on healing is forsaking your duty to at least deal some damage, and only doing damage will obviously cause your party to die. Healing is essentially a game of ‘how low can I go?’, and as you gain more experience and comfort in the role, you can push that threshold lower and lower.

As for more general terms to be aware of, I shall make a small list!

DPS/ADPS/RDPS: Damage per second/Actual damage per second/Raid-contributing damage per second. These are terms used mostly by raiders to quantify how much damage is contributed. For classes that have buffs and debuffs, their DPS/ADPS do not accurately show their true damage, but their RDPS takes into account the bonus damage their buffs and debuffs have granted. Slidecasting: A term describing the leniency that cast times are given in this game because of server connection. For all spells, you do not have to be sitting through their entire cast bar, as they can instead be cut short so that one can still move while in the last bit of their cast. When one can slidecast a spell is dependent upon the cast time of the spell and the spell speed of the individual. HoT/DoT: Heal over time, Damage over time. GCD/OGCD: Global Cooldown/Off-Global Cooldown. Spells and weaponskills operate off of something called a ‘GCD’. A GCD is essentially a lockout until you can cast your next spell/weaponskill. For spells, as they have a cast time equivalent to their GCD, you can cast another right after you finish the first. By default, this GCD is 2.5 seconds for every class, and is reduced by abilities and skill/spell speed. But for weaponskills/spells that are classified as instant, that GCD lockout can instead be used to move or to use OGCD’s, namely abilities, that aren’t constricted by the GCD. The use of OGCD’s during a GCD lockout is called... Weaving: Using OGCD’s during a GCD lockout. Using just one in this timeframe is referred to as a single weave, and using two is referred to as a double weave. For SCH, you want most weaves to be double weaves. Ghosting: The bane of all arcanist-based classes. Unfortunately due to the AI of pets in this game, there is a delay between when you input an action and when your pet performs it, and a general delay in all pet actions if you are moving and they have to catch up. Sometimes when inputting abilities too quickly or using a demi-summon as actions are queued (like Summon Bahamut, Phoenix Trance and Summon Seraph), the queued action will either be delayed or never go off, but will still go on cooldown. Hence the term ‘ghosting’.

[ How Scholar Works ]

Now with the basics made clear, we can get to the actual meat of this analysis! In FFXIV, there are two denominations of healers: Shielding and Pure. Scholar falls into the prior classification as most of its kit is themed around the prevention of damage. Adloquium and Succor, for example, heal less than White Mage’s Cure II and Medica II, but apply a shield equivalent to 125% of the health restored. As such, Scholar is less of a reactive healer, but more of a proactive one; they set up their resources in advance so that the fight flows with less chaos. Scholar’s base kit is as follows:

Ruin/Broil I, II, and III: Your standard damage spell for a healer. Cast this when you’re not healing. Bio/Bio II/Biolysis: Your standard DoT spell for a healer, ticks 10 times over 30 seconds. Make sure to always have this on the enemy, that is unless the enemy is about to go away, or will die in 15 seconds or less. if this spell sticks to a target for more than 15 seconds, then it technically has outdamaged 1 broil, thus making it a theoretical gain! Physick: The basic heal for a healer; heals for about 400 potency. Once you get to a higher level, you should realistically never touch this heal again. Adloquium (Lvl 30): Scholar’s ‘big single target heal’; heals for 300 potency while erecting a shield equivalent to 125% of the healing done (technically 675 potency in total). Shields generated by this are denoted by the ‘Galvanize’ buff. If this crits, bonus shields will be added as another buff called ‘Catalyze’. This shield does not stack with itself, Succor, Seraphic Veil, or Nocturnal AST’s shields. Succor (Lvl 35): Scholar’s AoE heal; heals for 180 potency and erects a shield equivalent to 125% of the healing done (technically 405 potency in total). Shields generated by this are denoted by the ‘Galvanize’ buff. Like Adlo, it does not stack with what was listed above. Ruin II (Lvl 38): An instant cast version of ruin. It’s potency upgrades as you level, capping at 200 at level 72. This spell is mostly used to weave OGCD’s, or to just generally move while not missing too many casts. Art of War (Lvl 46): Your standard AoE spell for a healer. Deals 160 potency to all enemies in 5 yalms and is instant. Unlike Holy, this spell is a DPS gain on 2 targets or more. Deployment Tactics (Lvl 56): As an OGCD, spreads the target’s Galvanize buff to all nearby allies within 10 yalms. Does not spread Catalyze. Emergency Tactics (Lvl 58): Transforms the shields from Adlo and Succor into a flat heal. Useful in a pinch, hence its name, and gives Scholar a chance at outputting fat heals. Chain Stratagem (Lvl 66): Where Scholar’s RDPS comes from. Applies a debuff to a target that increases the chance they receive critical hits from all allies hitting it by 10% for 15 seconds. Multiple of these cannot be applied to the same boss, and will overlap. Keep in mind its 120 second cooldown as it is crucial to getting better at Scholar! Recitation (Lvl 74): Your next Succor, Adloquium, Excogitation, or Indomitability will always crit. In the case of Succor and Adlo, they will also not cast mana. In the case of Excog and Indom, they will not require an aetherflow stack. Mostly used to cast excog/indom through a double weave, and is immensely useful to make healing easier. 90 second cooldown.

To build off of my last point of resources, it’s high time to introduce two of Scholar’s best friends: Eos and Selene! Eos and Selene, as per SCH’s Arcanist base, are the pets for this job. Unlike carbuncles and egis, they do not deal damage, but instead use their actions to heal, and are crucial to Scholar’s gameplay. Also like the other pets, their action potencies scale differently as opposed to the player’s. For example, Eos/Selene’s Whispering Dawn skill has a listed regen potency of 120, meanwhile WHM’s Medica II regen has a listed potency of 100. One would think that Whispering Dawn would tick for more than Medica II, but through my testing, it is only about 86.8% as effective (due to number variation in FFXIV, this percentage is subject to change). The factor in which pet scaling affects your fairy’s heal is about 64%. With that little disclaimer out of the way, the Faeries’ kits are as follows:

Embrace (Lvl 1): A 150 (96 with pet scaling) potency single-target heal. This is what your fairy will do with its free time. Whispering Dawn (Lvl 20): A 120 potency regen over 21 seconds (537 potency heal in total with pet-scaling). Due to FFXIV’s server ticks, HoT’s and DoT’s hit every 3 seconds, and as such, WD translates to about 840 potency (in terms of your pet’s scaling that is). This ability is activated by the player as an OGCD. Fey Illumination (Lvl 40): A buff that reduces magic damage taken by all allies in range by 5% and increases their healing received by 10%. Lasts 20 seconds. Dissipation (Lvl 60): Munch on your Fairy to gain 3 aetherflow charges and +20% healing magic. This does NOT AFFECT THE POTENCY OF YOUR OGCD HEALING. Your fairy will automatically respawn after the 30 second duration. Aetherpact & Fey Union (Lvl 70): Designate an ally as an OGCD to form a tether between them and your fairy. Your Fairy gauge will then deplete by 10 every 3 seconds to apply a 400 potency (256 potency with pet scaling) heal. This tether will break after the target is 15 yalms away, if you cancel it by using aetherpact again, or if you use another fairy skill. Fey Blessing (Lvl 76): As an OGCD, spend 10 Fairy Gauge to have your Fairy perform an aoe heal of 350 potency (224 potency with pet scaling). Summon Seraph (Lvl 80): As an OGCD, replace your fairy with Seraph. Embrace now becomes Seraphic Veil, a 200 potency (128 potency heal with pet scaling) heal + shield. Consolation (Lvl 80): Essentially Fey Blessing, but only available during Seraph. Heals for 300 potency (192 potency with pet scaling), and shields for the same amount. Has 2 charges per every Seraph summon, and the shield stacks with your own shields as well as a nocturnal Astro’s shields.

Now that those are out of the way, you must be thinking, “The fuck is fairy gauge and aetherflow?” Well, I’m glad you asked, as they’re both intrinsically tied to each other! Starting at level 70, every time you spend an aetherflow stack, you gain 10 fairy gauge, pretty simple, yea? As for aetherflow itself, every 60 seconds you can cast the skill named, well, Aetherflow, to gain 3 stacks of it and recover 1000 MP. These Aetherflow stacks can be used on the following OGCD abilities:

Lustrate (Lvl 45): A 600 potency heal. Very straightforward, and often not used because of the value of the other options. Energy Drain (Lvl 45): A 100 potency damaging OGCD. If you don’t need to heal, and you don’t think you need to heal for a bit, this is your go-to aetherflow dump. Also, if you’re attempting parses on Scholar, have fun using all your aetherflow on this. Sacred Soil (Lvl 50): Create a bubble that reduces damage taken by all allies inside by 10% for 15 seconds. At level 78 this upgrades to offer a 100 potency heal (500 potency heal in total). Only costing 1 aetherflow gauge, having a 30 second cooldown, and lasting 15 seconds, this skill is INCREDIBLY GOOD, especially after the level 78 upgrade. Indomitability (Lvl 52): A 400 potency AoE heal. Straightforward, but very effective because of its numbers. Excogitation (Lvl 62): An 800 potency heal that triggers when the target falls under 50% HP, or if its 45 second duration ends. While it feels awkward to use for beginners, its usefulness is immeasurable. It is technically a higher potency version of Lustrate, with a slight cooldown and delay, but fills a more ‘fire-forget’ niche. Very useful inside of all settings but remember, it will not proc if the target will outright die to the damage before it triggers (i.e if a tank takes a tankbuster at 51% health, and the hit does 60%, excog will not proc.)

[ Gameplay, Tips and Design ]

Scholar, as I have stated, fills the role of a preemptive healer, especially with all of the mitigation present in its kit, as well as the existence of Excog. As such, this job sees a greater increase in effectiveness as you yourself learn a fight compared to a pure healer such as WHM/Diurnal AST. If you know when the party/raid-wide damage is coming, and you prepare accordingly with... Say, A sacred soil and a succor, that is a good chunk of damage you or your co-healer won’t have to heal, thus affording both of you more time to deal damage. Inside of higher end content, like savage raids, having said mitigation is both invaluable for progressing through fights, as well as streamlining and perfecting them. For a while, because of that fact, SCH was the unofficial ‘king’ of healers for a very long time, especially considering there used to be a lot more damage inside of SCH’s kit (rest in peace almost everything that made it unique lol). The start of Shadowbringers was when SCH was finally taken off of its throne, not by AST like many would think (also because it took quite the hit), but by WHM of all things. Thankfully through a series of buffs since 5.0, SCH would begin to see themselves slowly climb back and situate in a comfortable position, but while Scholar is in a good spot now, that does not mean it’s perfect.

Scholar’s ability to heal pure HP is a bit lacking, especially so when dealing with attacks that place the party or specific players at 1 hp. SCH’s find themselves having to use multiple resources in trying to recover that lost HP, often losing much more damage uptime in comparison to WHM or AST (Which is why the ideal healing composition involves 1 pure healer and 1 shield healer). This usage of multiple resources also makes SCH a fair bit more punishing to inexperienced healers than AST or WHM. With the HP recovery of fairies being nerfed in Shadowbringers, much more of the agency is placed back upon the player, who in turn must pay attention to everything that the class has to offer. Obviously not all content is going to necessitate OPTIMAL PLAY, but with all the moving parts present within its kit, Scholar demands a bit more attention to be paid towards it and its skills.

Outside of a learning curve and lack of pure healing, Scholars are punished heavily for dying. Not only must they spend a GCD in resummoning their fairy, all fairy gauge and aetherflow stacks are also lost on death, and if aetherflow was on cooldown at the time, A SCH is going to not have a majority of their kit for awhile on top of having reduced healing due to weakness/brink of death. This once again lends itself to Scholar being less beginner-friendly as opposed to the other healers, even with the existence of freebie heals from your fairy.

Hell, speaking about fairies, therein lies an issue itself - Scholar being a pet class. Conceptually it’s awesome, but with how FFXIV handles pets/demi-summons and their AI, it’s also quite the hassle. Like I mentioned above, ghosting is a problem when it comes to pet classes, and if you don’t properly adjust around it, some of your cooldowns can simply just go poof. Weaving both Whispering Dawn and Fey Illumination in the same double weave will cause the one that’s cast later to cast quite a bit later. On top of that, if you’re moving while you’re weaving them, there’s a chance you’ll have to wait for the fairy to catch up to you to finally cast them (which is why placing your fairy pre-battle is very useful). And as a general rule of thumb, never use summon seraph right after you use Whispering Dawn or Fey Illumination. Wait until after you see the buff apply on everyone as using Seraph will cancel the queued action.

With all that being said, however Scholar is still highly effective in what it does, it just requires a bit of experience. While I can’t offer tutorials on every fight, there are a few general tips I can give for aspiring scholars out there!

[ Tips ]

(General Advice + Combos)

Double weaving on Scholar is rather straightforward, but if you're using Ruin II to do so after your Broil, it will be a technical DPS loss if you do not use an energy drain within the weave window! Broil III has a potency of 290, Ruin II has a potency of 200, and Energy Drain has a potency of 100. In weaving without the use of energy drain, you will lose 90 potency in comparison to if you were to cast another Broil III. Using Energy Drain will add another 100 potency, thus gaining you 10 potency overall. Of course you shouldn't always dump an aetherflow on energy drain when you're weaving, but it is something to keep in mind when you are aiming to do more damage!

- Healing Combos -

[Single Target] If you are AoE'ing, replace ruin II/Biolysis with Art of War!

[AoE Mitigation] (Shield + 5% magic damage mitigation + 10% all damage mitigation)

[Panic AoE Healing] (1029 potency AoE Healing) As a bonus little tip in regards to this, remember Scholar's AoE healing spell/ability priority! The above combo is when you cannot afford time for a regen, but if you can, follow this list. 1. Whispering Dawn (if you can afford time for the regen) 2. Fey Blessing 3. Sacred Soil (if you can afford time for the regen) 4. Indomitability 5. Succor + Emergency Tactics 6. Succor

Scholars luckily have a wonderful mobility tool in Ruin II which allows them to position easily, though at the cost of DPS. However, this loss is minimal compared to its cohorts, wherein WHM either has to clip their Dia or use a lily, and AST either has to use Lightspeed, or slowly shuffle over with Malefics. This makes Scholar a bit easier to navigate when learning fights! Don't be afraid to use Ruin II if you're looking to push for a clear or learn a mechanic better, as a dead scholar is worse than one that is losing dps.

A crucial part of Scholar's kit is actually Chain Stratagem. While it loses much of its usefulness in public groups, or those who do not exactly care for proper rotations, when you can coordinate buffs and opening combos, it provides a large boost in DPS for the whole party. Typically, the ideal time to use Chain Stratagem is upon your 4th GCD, and everytime it comes off cooldown after, but this can change depending on your group. Here is an example 4th GCD Chain opener.

(Dungeons)

While AoE’ing mob packs, you can keep your focus target on the tank. It will make it much easier to heal them in a pinch.

Sacred Soil is essentially a free 15 second long cooldown for the tank, that ALSO heals at level 78 and above. It’s very, very useful.

Using Excog and adlo between pulls will allow you to spend more time AoE’ing mobs

Don’t forget about your fairy skills, especially fey union. Lazy mode is using fey union after whispering dawn, fey illumination and sacred soil and then proceeding to press art of war until the cows come home.

(Trials/Raid)

Recitation + Excog on your main tank pre-pull. Many use recitation+Adlo and then spread the shield with deployment tactics, but you don’t need to use recitation for that! Catalyze is the bonus shielding a crit adlo creates, and cannot be spread. Therefore save your recitation for a free excog and use a normal adlo+deployment tactics afterwards.

Please, please, PLEASE, if you are in a static or raid environment, make sure you allies stand in Sacred Soil when they can. It makes all of your lives easier.

Pre-placing your fairy in the center of the arena is a good habit to get in, but if you need your fairy AoE’s while you’re away from the center, make sure to press heel on your fairy hotbar to make it follow you again.

[Design]

Outside of all that, there is a collection of miscellaneous things that I do want to prattle off in relation to this category, mostly being some design choices and ideas I had for the class going forward. So, let’s begin!

Why does Fey Blessing not become Consolation when you have Seraph out? They are essentially the same thing, and you CAN’T EVEN USE FEY BLESSING WHEN YOU HAVE SERAPH OUT. WHY IS FEY BLESSING AND CONSOLATION SEPARATE BUTTONS. ANSWER ME SQUARE ENIX, TELL ME WHY.

There should be another way to dump Fairy gauge. It would make the system a bit more interactive (A lot like how lilies got an AoE version as well as Afflatus misery with SHB).

We should be able to cancel fey union in the middle of a cast. Breaking the tether does not have an animation nor any animation lockout, and in my eyes is technically not an OGCD. With this change, cancelling fey union can be done on the fly and not require a weave so as to not lose uptime.

The delay upon shield application is a tad annoying, especially so in the use of deployment tactics. Sometimes, if you cast too late, the boss’ Aoe will eat the heal, but not the shield. And in the case of the latter, if you use deployment tactics too quickly, you’ll spread nothing.

Bring back fairy uniqueness ;-;

[ Final Evaluation ]

Now comes time for my final grading.

Going forward with these Class Analyses, I will grade the class upon a set of categories unique to their role (DPS, Tank, Healer). As such, in my grading of Scholar, I will judge it based on the following categories, on a scale of F-S:

Damage (Personal) - The damage they bring to the table by themselves. Damage (Raid setting) - The damage they bring based upon their RDPS potential Accessibility - How easy is it to pick up and play? Mitigation - How well can they prevent damage? Healing - How well can they heal damage? Fun - Well, is it fun? Fantasy fulfillment - Does it fit the class aesthetics/lore?

Damage (Personal) [7] - While not as powerful alone as White Mage, Scholar is not entirely dependent upon team mates for damage like Astrologian.

Damage (Raid Setting) [8] - The addition of chain stratagem to Scholar’s already decent damage takes that one extra step beyond.

Accessibility [4] - Starts as a DPS in Arcanist, has many unique functions and is punished heavily if they die in the middle of a battle.

Mitigation [10] - They’re the originator of shield healers, and definitely keep the crown. Sacred soil is always going to be ridiculous.

Healing [6.5] - Scholar’s pure healing is a bit lacking, but with Square’s fight design, any healer should be able to make it through a fight. Therefore, I cannot rate Scholar all too low in this category.

Fun [7.5, almost 8] - Keeps you engaged, but lacks the pizzazz of Astro and the oomph of White Mage. Still a fun class at the end of the day, though!

Fantasy Fulfillment [9] - As tactical geniuses in the lore, the feel of Scholar gameplay fits that ideal! Through your mitigation, pre-planned abilities, and setting up of fairy abilities, you definitely feel like a tactician controlling the flow of battle, though it does falter a bit with a lot of their old options being removed in SHB.

[ End ]

And with that, we are done with this analysis! As for my personal conjecture with Scholar, it’s one of my mains, and used to be my go to raid healer, that is until my static needed a bit more upfront healing for e12s prog awhile back. If you were to look at my FFlogs, you’d probably see an absolute deluge of WHM parses since it’s uhh... Kinda technically my new healer main, but I still love SCH I swear! Another thing that made me switch from SCH to WHM was the inclusion of a DRK in our static. The ability to instantly remove Walking Dead with one button is so much easier than blowing cooldowns on both healers. Though, technically, from a savage perspective, the highest damage team setup is SCH + AST (Mostly because boosting teammate damage will always do more than just being good yourself, especially this late in the tier).

Anywho... This is the REAL end of the analysis. Hope you enjoyed and if you have any suggestions, questions or things to address, just comment and let me know!

Yabi, out~

[kerie-prince]

the memory of you pt. 1

Gilderoy Lockhart x Healer!reader

requested: (anon) Omg thank you! If you want to write any kind of Lockhart scenario that suggests NSFW stuff then I'd totally be cool with whatever you come up with 😊 thanks again so much! ❤️

warnings: none

summary: After helping Gilderoy deal with his memory loss and get him out of St. Mungo's, you couldn't help but fall for his charm once more when he finds you on the streets of London.

a/n: I THOUGHT I QUEUED THIS 💀 i sat here at work thinking 'damn, no one liked my post? k 😭' anyways, i'm gonna break this into two parts before it gets too long lmao. bold italics are flashbacks

(gif not mine, cred to owner)

You worked with a certain celebrity for quite a while now. He was brought in one day without knowing who he was, where he came from, and how he ended up in a weird cave. His residence at St. Mungo’s where you worked lasted for a while. Other Healers declared that there was no way to recover his memory, but he didn’t seem to mind. Gilderoy was perfectly content with being happy and healthy even if he didn't know what was going on.

He was so sweet. Never gave you or any of your colleagues any trouble. He took his potions with ease, didn't make a fuss when bringing him from one room to another, and held conversations as normal. His family would visit him on occasion and it pained you to watch him not know them. But overall, he was happy.

After two years at St. Mungos, Gilderoy was let go considering that even though his memories were gone, he had enough mental stability to be out in public. Gilderoy had to go to a private academy to re-learn magic basics in adult classes. You remember the night before he left.

“So nice to start my life tomorrow,” Gilderoy had his signature smile on. He ate his dinner on his own without the help of Healers.

“Your life has already started, you just don't remember is all,” you corrected. You were preparing his bed for the last time. Since it's his last night, you were able to grab an extra pillow for him to be comfortable.

“Yes, but tomorrow I'll start a life I can remember. I'll make new memories.” Gilderoy stood up from his small table and walk to his hospital bed. He always loved the way you prepared his bed. How you fluffed the pillow, folded the blankets back neatly, and made sure the bed was warm. It wasn't special treatment as you did it for all patients, but he appreciated it all the same.

“Good night, Miss Y/L/N,” he said.

“Good night, Mr. Lockhart,” you replied.

Two years later, you're still working at St. Mungos. You've seen patients come and go since then. None quite as cooperative as Gilderoy, but they weren't all bad either.

The London streets were busy as usual today. It was slightly cloudy, but luckily it wasn't raining. And thank Merlin because you didn't have an umbrella with you. Cabs were driving right past you as you stood by the sidewalk trying to catch one. Once one stopped in front of you and you were about to climb in, another hand also grabbed for the handle. “Miss Y/L/N?”

Gilderoy stood next to you, eyes gleaming and wore his charming smile. He looked as happy as he always did. “Mr. Lockhart, hello.” It was a pleasant run in, and you'd love to chat but you had to be at work soon. It seemed that he noticed your uniform as well. “Oh, go ahead. I'll call for another one.”

“Thank you, Mr. Lockhart.” You opened the door but before you could close it, Gilderoy said one last thing. “I hope to see you again!” He waved at you as you left and kept at it until you were out of sight.

His wish was granted three months later; he was walking around the same street for probably the 4th time that week. He wasn't ashamed to admit that after that day he ran into you, he wanted to see you again. You were with a couple of friends at a pub one night celebrating a proper weekend off. Gilderoy followed you in, a bit of people that recognized him stopped him to say ‘hi’ but of course, he doesn't know them. They were fans of his before the memory loss. They took a few pictures and he went walking after you. You were seen sitting at a bar table by yourself waiting for your friends to come back from the restroom.

Gilderoy walked up to you slowly, “Hello, Miss Y/L/N.” You recognized him and by pure habit, you gave him your work smile and voice, “Good evening, Mr. Lockhart.”

“Please, call me Gilderoy,” he requested.

“Gilderoy,” you reached your hand out to shake his, “you can call me Y/N.” His smile changed, not one that you've seen in magazines and papers, but a more humble one. His cheeks became a bit rosy and he looked like he was flustered. “So, how have you been?” he asked. You took a quick sip of the water that was on the table before continuing the conversation, “I’ve been good! Just been working all the time. How about you? I bet so many great things have been going with you?”

“Not really. Since I didn't know much about my life before I was admitted in, I didn't know where to start. So I lived with my mother for a while, but now I’m on my own.” Seeing Gilderoy be so humble was a sight to see. A once self-centered, proud man has turned into a sweet, kind one. You almost wanted to thank whoever did this to him, not knowing it was actually Gilderoy who had accidentally done this to myself. “Well, are you working right now?” you asked him.

“No, I don’t really have anything to offer,” he looked down.

“That’s not true, you…” you stopped to think about what it was that Gilderoy could do. And unfortunately, it wasn't much. When word had gone out that he had actually stolen credit for all the things he had claimed to have done, people wondered if he was good at anything.

Gilderoy laughed at your blank expression. You felt bad. “Well, I’m sure you’re good at something.” You patted his shoulder gently across the table. Your friends came back from the restroom after what felt like twenty minutes. “Oh! It’s Gilderoy Lockhart, so nice to meet you,” each of them shook his hand. “What brings you here?”

Suddenly, he was embarrassed to say that he was spending weeks trying to find you. “Oh, I was just around. I walked inside and recognized Y/N. Thought I’d say hello,” he felt a bit nervous at that moment. “Well I best be going. I don't want to intrude. Have a good evening.” Gilderoy was about to leave until one of your friends called out for him, “No, stay! I’m sure Y/N would love to catch up with you, isn't that right?” You weren't sure if it would be appropriate to hang out with a former patient. Sure, it’s been a couple years since then, but you've never had any patients become even acquaintances, let alone friends. But the look in Gilderoy’s eyes that were basically begging you to say ‘yes’ hit something in you. “If you’re not doing anything else tonight, I'm sure we would like your company tonight.”

Gilderoy was funnier than he seemed to be. Being one of the Healers that worked with him for nearly four years, you never knew about this. He was telling the story of the first time he had used the levitation spell during his adult classes and he accidentally made his professor levitate and not the inanimate object on the table. Slightly tipsy, you and your friends laughed so hard trying to picture the situation. Gilderoy said he panicked and when he tried to let him down, the professor fell from ten feet in the air on his head and passed out. Luckily, he wasn't kicked out to the class but it was certainly something the professor never let him live down.

By the end of the night, your friends had gotten plastered and left for home. You were fine; your tipsy state was gone. You made sure your friends were set in the cab and told the cabbie their addresses. Gilderoy stood behind you and watched as you took care of your friends. It was different than when you worked, but it brought back memories when you took care of him.

When the cab drove off, you turned to look at the blond man. “Well, it was great seeing you, Mr. Lock– Gilderoy,” you quickly corrected yourself. You nodded and started walking down the street before he called for you again. “W-would you like to take a walk?” You thought about it, the same thought from earlier. But you've already shared a few drinks with him, so a walk wouldn't hurt. The sky was clear and although the stars were faint, there were a couple large ones that you could point out. You walked in silence for a couple minutes until you spoke up, “The weather’s nice.” He nodded quietly. It wasn't odd for him, but it was for you. It was odd to see him not as talkative as he used to be. You supposed that when you have your memories wiped, your personality could be affected as well. But he was still somewhat himself when he was a patient, so this change must have happened in the past two years. You hoped that nothing bad happened in that time.

It was getting later and later, but something about Gilderoy was different and you liked being around this sort of new him. He’s more inviting compared to how he was when he was a celebrity. The feeling of it being weird with him outside of work was gone, and something else started. You wanted to get to know him as a person again.

You checked the time on your wristwatch and decided that you should head home eventually. “It was nice seeing you tonight. I hope to see you again,” you grinned. His eyes lit up as he looked at you, “I would love that. Maybe we can have tea sometime?”

“I’d like that. Goodnight, Gilderoy.”

“Good night, Y/N.” He signaled a cab for you and like he did the last time, he waved until he couldn't see you anymore.

—

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