#this is all my own fault of course

[maybeamiles]

literally begging my OC's to just kiss already. One of them keeps describing how much he's in love with the other and the other is like, "oh wow, he sounds like a lucky guy" THE GUY IS YOU. YOU ARE THE ONE HE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU DUMBASS.

[zeb-z]

I just think Tallulah gets to be upset about this. “It’s not Wilbur’s fault” “He’s not a bad dad” “He loves his daughter so much” yes! These are all true! And it’s not his fault! But he’s still not there. And Tallulah has gone through so much and still hasn’t seen him, the one time he was around was the one time she wasn’t, and all she has are letters and “I’m thinking of you always” and things that used to be theirs together, but he’s still not there. She’s waited and she’s been patient and she’s loved him all the same, and he’s still not there. Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, from the happy milestones to the traumatic events, he’s still not there.

She knows that it’s not his fault, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s absent. That in and of itself just adds to the sorrow, because she knows why he’s gone, and she’s been told time and time again it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, she knows this - it doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting, that it doesn’t hurt, that she doesn’t yearn for her father to be there more than anything in the world, and he’s just not there.

So yes, she gets to be upset, and be caustic, and stomp her feet and write bitter messages, and be angry and vitriolic, because she’s a little girl missing her father, who feels things with her whole heart and soul - and that means she gets to feel the ugly parts of it, too.

[lordsalemander]

Is anyone else still caught up on the parallels between Imogen and Opal?? Because I am.

I was revisiting my c3e92 and c3e93 live thoughts and came across two big points:

Firstly the parallel of Ted disappearing in order to protect Opal with Liliana disappearing to protect Imogen. And the contrast of Ted, who did so by becoming an inseparable part of Opal while Liliana tore herself away desperately trying to separate herself from Imogen. Both done out of a will to protect the other. (Fyi This was written during e92 before the Aevilux reveal)

Secondly, after the Aevilux reveal, this connection hit me: The locket Imogen got from Relvin (potentially carried by Liliana) carried her baby fingerprint and the words “The better halves make/become a better whole.” A sentiment that Imogen tries to use at the Malleus Key and on Ruidus to get through to her mom. And who is a near perfect literal manifestation of this? THE AEVILUX. The people who split their souls in two (or were born separate in Opal/Ted’s case) and live independently before reuniting again and becoming more powerful for it.

Now imagine Imogen and Opal were to meet (obviously possible as both are being pushed to fight Predathos/those trying to free it) and Imogen repeats the locket phrase and something about it sounds so familiar to Opal, but she just can’t remember it. The group realize that there are gaps in Opal’s memory. Eventually Imogen is able to restore Opal’s memories, living through them alongside Opal in the process (kind of like how she projected herself into Laudna’s head in e103). Then Opal helping Imogen get through to her mom in turn. Or even just them fighting side by side to prove how much stronger you can be if you stop running from your better half. That coming together is a way better way to protect someone than running away and fighting those battles alone.

TLDR: I need Imogen and Opal to meet and talk this instant. Please Mattholomew Mercer I would do anything.

[skunkes]

[queenlucythevaliant]

make your choice

Digory didn’t think much on making choices. The whole world would be over when his mother died anyhow.

Of course, this didn’t keep him from being curious or adventurous. It was exciting to meet new people, exciting to go exploring and to speculate about whatever mischief his Uncle Andrew was up to. Being a lively young boy was perhaps the best distraction from being a boy about to lose his mother.

Going after Polly was so obviously right that it might as well not have been a choice at all. What else could he do? It was easy to be righteous in the face of an evil old magician who said things like "Ours is a high and lonely destiny."

Yet once they were there in that rich, in-between place, with all the worlds there were splayed out before them— ((Make your choice, adventurous stranger)) Well. What sort of lively young boy would he be if he turned back now?

Digory could feel the bell’s magic ((strike the bell and bide the danger)) beginning to work on him. There was no use in resisting. He felt tendrils of magic sinking deep beneath his skin, laying claim to any free will he’d ever had. He said as much to Polly, but she wasn’t listening.

Polly said ((or wonder till it drives you mad)) that he looked exactly like his uncle when he said that.

Jadis’s whole world had ended. Everyone had died, and she’d just gone to sleep. She might have stayed sleeping forever if he hadn’t woken her. Sitting outside his mother’s sickroom, Digory wondered ((what would have followed if you had)) if that was really so shocking. Hadn’t he been preparing for just such an end? Were Charn and Mabel Kirke so different?

Narnia was not an end. It was a beginning.

And face to face with the Lion, Digory was forced to admit that the bell had not been magic. Nothing had caused him to strike it. Make your choice, the writing had said. Digory had chosen. 

I’ve spoiled everything. There’s no chance of getting anything for mother now.

The enormous Lion asked him, "Son of Adam, are you ready to undo the wrong that you have done?" and Digory sputtered his maybes.

"I asked, are you ready?" the Lion said again.

At that very moment, an ultimatum flashed through Digory’s mind. If I salvage your beginning, will you prevent my end? If make amends, will you save my mother? He thought of refusing, of holding his choice hostage until his future was secure. Could the Lion be bargained with? Could Digory twist his arm, as he'd twisted Polly's?

But what Digory said was, "Yes."

Jadis conjured such lovely visions of the future. His mother's face would lose its gray sheen and she would say, Why, I'm beginning to feel stronger. There would be no more morphia, no more of the terrible drawn look about her when she slept. She would rise from her sickbed, vibrant and whole ((Come in by the gold gates or not at all)) rise and walk to the door and fling it open and then Digory would go running into her arms. 

He gasped as though he'd been mortally wounded. Perhaps he had been in a way. After all, had the gate not said ((take my fruit for others or forbear))? 

Jadis ((for those who steal and those who climb my wall)) called Digory the Lion's slave. Years later, he would think back over all that those words implied. The Witch seemed to think that Digory had no will, if he was willing to subordinate himself to Aslan.

But was it not Aslan who made Digory realize his own culpability ((shall find their heart's desire and find despair)), and in the same breath gave him a way to repair it? Had not Aslan given his will back to him?

And at the foot of the tree, Aslan gave Digory his future back as well. 

He was old, but now he is young again, watching as the stars fall headlong across the black of the world-that-was. The world is ending at last, but Digory does not fear such things any longer.

[fruitsyrups]

I think it's so interesting to think about the unique social implications of things on the islands. Like, the animal hats & how they originally existed for the practical purpose of protection & they kept wearing them even after that wasn't a factor anymore. & how the hats we see in the present day (when Finn & co visit the islands) don't really resemble animal hats, do they? & maybe that's just to make the significant human characters (who do still wear animal hats) seem more distinct but you best believe I'm going to make it into something bigger. Oh I'm so bad at putting my thoughts into words but it's something how the hats evolved into a new meaning. & when robo susan rips friedas hat off its like a very violating moment. Something something hats, the lack thereof, vulnerability. I don't know. Sorry. I was going somewhere with this but I don't know how to explain it. You get it though. Hats are interesting.

I like to think that (when everyone got sick and lots of them died and the rest moved to a new island) there was a bunch of small shifts & the animal -> abstract hats was one of them. And Frieda still wearing her dog hat shows her still holding onto the past in some way. There we go, that's something. This isn't a total nothing post after all

[tigergendermoved2tigergender]

Remembering the toxic hellscape that was 2015-2019ish SU fandom and just how much hate the show got is really insane when you rewatch the show after it's been a while. Like the show is good what the hell were any of these people talking about

[pidgefudge]

really feeling the lack of people like me irl. most of my friends are cis girls or fem enbies who just. don't get it. the few trans guys i DO know have very supportive families (one of them has been on t for years). like. what am i supposed to do with this. what am i supposed to do with my incredibly queerphobic parents and inability to cut my hair even though it kills me to look in the mirror and forced dress-wearing that makes me feel like shit all day.

[metamercury]

LORD IF YOU ARE NEW TO THE FIC SCENE AND DONT HAVE AN AO3 ACCOUNT YOU ARE DENIED THE EXISTENCE OF FATAL ATTRACTION. TRAVESTY TRAVESTY TRAVESTY

YOU LITERALLY WOULD NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MISSING.

[landofgay]

y'all pls hype me up to quit my job today I'm shaking and nauseous from how anxious I am

[britneyshakespeare]

Man is saying weird things to me again

[crownedinmarigolds]

She learned it from watching you.

[uncomfortablepiratecollection]

My hot take is that season 4 of the umbrella academy was good actually

[starbuck]

good things today:

National Park agreed to let us do a year-long research project starting in January which is gonna look REALLY good on my resume (and also be fun!)

difficult conversation with my boss went well (I think she agreed with me and I’d gonna follow my advice/had already reached the same conclusion herself)

fun concert (with banjo!)

made plans with a friend for tomorrow

got school work done

[theo4eve]

Crying because the older sibling guilt is coming in..

[immortalsins]

self-isolation during times of stress is pretty bad actually shame it took me 2 years of uni to realise this