#this is all very normal child behavior but since it's my beloved sister i am allowed to feel like it is the cutest thing any child has ever

[coquelicoq]

spent the evening with my siblings going through boxes of my sister's preschool and early elementary school effects and i need to share some of her spelling choices:

budrfli (butterfly)

stroberre (strawberry)

apl (apple)

orinj (orange)

peach (peach!!)

bnana (banana)

lemin (lemon)

grapse (grapes)

wodrmin (watermelon)

ovcdoe (avocado)

par (pear)

[julibf]

WHY THE END OF GAME OF THRONES IS NOT WORKING FOR ME....

I told in some of my past metas, that I wrote after the show was done, why the ending was so unsatisfying and I am going to try to explain why here in some point. Its not because it was sad and heartbreaking, or some of our theories never really turned out to be true.

I am afraid to say, Its George RRM who is letting me down, not Benioff and Weiss. So lets start with the points that are making my head spin.

BRAN THE BROKEN KING

If accept Bran Stark as the final King of this story, I have to pretend I didnt read the past books A CLASH IF KINGS and a FEAST FOR CROWS, where we had very good contenders fighting for the Throne (Rob Stark, Renly Baratheon, Stannis Baratheon, Joffrey Baratheon, etc) Yes, some of those men were not so good from a moral point of view, but they brought strength, militar support, militar and political alliances, legitimate claims to the Throne...

I could go on and on and on. There is absolutely no reason for why would Yara Greyjoy would bend the knee to Brandon Stark and accept him as her leader and ruler; or the Prince of Dorne, or the Lords from the Westerlands. This choice is absolutely absurd and if you read the books you would know that picking a boy king, with no claim to the Throne or no powerful armies makes any sense at all. Whe we add the fact Bran had hardly any experience ruling or leading people during the 7 years of this story, this pic gets even more and more bizarre.Not to mention, I really dislike the idea that humans are incapable to control their own emotions, and because of that we must pick a God like creature with no emotions.

 I understand George wanted a surprising ending and he wanted to go against the expectations, but this choice is an utopia. I cant get behind this choice. I am sorry.

TYRION HAND OF THE KING

Again, do I have to pretend I didnt read the books and actually know that being a Kingslayer is a very terrible sin to carry on Westeros??? Tyrion is not a beloved figure in this story, even before he killed his own father, Tywin Lannister.

Tyrion decision to kill his father, not only started the downfall of House Lannister, it also made the entire region of the Westerlands political weaker and more vulnerable to future attacks.He must be a very despised figure in the entire realm. Yet, he will be the second person in charge of Westeros??

At this point I am at loss of words. I have no idea what George is planning with this.

JON KILLING DAENERYS AS A LOVER IS A TERRIBLE IDEA.

Awful, terrible, horrible idea. Any way you slice, this was a terrible idea to end such amazing novel. Its corny, outdated and down right dangerous, considering we live in a world where females are at risk of being murdered by their male partners all the time.

This is such underwhelming decision, in a sea of underwhelming decisions that I am starting to think George was simply trying to make us all hate this ending.

We could have the realm raising in Rebelion against the Queen of Ashes; we could have second Dance of Dragons; We could have Arya using her underused superpowers as a Faceless men to kill Daenerys. No, we will have Jon Snow, still making excuses for Daenerys terrible behavior, begging her to start acting better???? telling her she will always be his queen while putting a dagger into her heart!!!

Again, this ending is coming from George himself. I cant really blame the D’s for this mess.

JON SNOW AND DAENERYS TARGARYEN ROMANCE WAS ANOTHER TERRIBLE IDEA.

Awful, terrible, horrible idea. Any way you slice, this was a terrible idea to end such amazing novel. If you dont believe Political Jon theory, then Jon Snow is just a completely fool, who fell in love with a tyrant, closed his eyes to all her terrible behavior and in the end was forced to kill the love of his life to save humanity. He is a idiot. and it breaks my heart that this is how Jon Snow will be remembered by audiences.  Some people keep on telling me. “Oh, by, I dont think this is how George will write him, I think its going to be much better” But I have to say, I dont think it will.

I do believe Jon was playing Dany in the beginning of their romance and was manipulating her in order to use her dragons and armies to save the North, but I also believe that once he finds out she is his family too, he became a little torned between his Targ and Stark family. He is a family man in the end of the day and he must feel some sort of guilty for his actions towards D@ny.

I think that George will keep Political Jon hidden between the lines, just like the show did. He may write much better and be more obvious, but I dont think it will ever be revealed explicit to the audience. And this is what kills his character. If he doesnt reveal to the audience that Jon was playing Daenerys, than it seems Jon Snow never really learned anything from his past 10 years and it sucks!!

No matter how you slice it, if George will keep Jon’s actions hidden and make the audience believe he is madly in love with this entitled monster and will keep on defending her until the very end and this is the character assassination of Jon Snow.

If, he is madly in love with Dany and has to be told several times that he must kill her to save the world from her tyranny, he is an IDIOT who never learned a damn thing in his life. If he DOESNT love Dany, but out of duty still is loyal to her, and has to be told several times to kill her in order to save the world, he is an IDIOT who never fucking learns anything. I dont get what George is doing here. He is destroying the character he spend so much time bulding as a hero, but that's exactly what he wants to do it. Maybe there are NO HEROS. (what a shit message).

I wished Jon and Dany had been just allies and later became enemies. This would be a much better ending for both characters.

CHARACTERS ARCS THAT SEEMS POINTLESS BY THE END OF THE STORY....

Jaime can not put Cersei behind him and comes back to die with her in the end;

Jon Snow can never, ever, ever learn with his mistakes and is still struggling after so much pain and misery in his life, over duty and honour.

Jon Snow years and years learning to be a leader and ruler is absolutely pointless and he is sent back to the Wall, where he started???

Sansa, who dreamed about love and family all 5 novels, ends this story completely alone;

Arya, who desperate wanted to go back home since season 1, leaves once again, this time for good??? leaving her younger brother alone in the South (where Stark men dont do well), her sister alone in Winterfell and Jon all alone at the Wall. WHAT THE FUCK?????

Daenerys can never overcome her family tragedy of Fire and Blood, and becomes the monster her father was;

In fact, it seems that its impossible for humans to evolve and become better people than their parents, a God like creature must rule us all, otherwise we are lost. (I can not repeated enough times, what terrible message this ending is, and its no even true!!!!, we live in a world of no magic, and we were able to produce rules who brought us peace, progress and humanity.)

THE COMPLETE LACK OF JOY, LOVE AND HOPE....

What really got me by surprise in the end, it was how sterile and hopeless this entire story felt. George once said that he writes so much violence, deaths and rapes in his novels because it is part of real medieval life and would be a lie to avoid those themes in his books, but you know whats also real part of medieval life?? Marriages? Marriage alliances, happy normal ones, who produce children, heirs, LIFE, FUTURE!!!

Oh we had weddings on ASOIAF, but most of them ended in slaughter, death, rape, misery. I dont think we had one happy birth inthis entire story? Gilly had a child from her father rapist and Edmure was able to produce a child too, but his bride Roselin was actualy in tears when they had sex (because she was aware of the Red Wedding plans) 

What a miserable tale this was. Our heros never really get to experience real joy. They never get to fullfill their childhood dreams. But they do get to be raped and abused, so, maybe thats ALL IT REALLY happened in the medieal times. Oh wait, its not tue, The War of the Roses ended with the marriage of Henry Tutor and Elizabeth of York. They had a very happy marriage and produced several children. 

In our story, we dont get to have laughter, joy, happiness or hope for a future. We do get several pages of Theon being tortured and dismembered in the books; or Sansa being physically and mentally abused; or Jon being consumed by loneliness and grief. But I guess, thats all it happened in the medieval times, so..........

Funny thing is, you see, before the story started, marriages and children were a common occurence in Westeros. Ned and Cat had several children; Cersei and Robbert had 3; Lysa was able to produce a child too; The Tyrells keep on making babies, even God damn Lyanna Stark, who only spent a few months married to Rheagar, was able to had a child. What miracle, its almost like those events were normal facts in those days.

In our story, no House can produce children, even bastards!!! Jon, Theon and Tyrion had quite lots of sex during this story, yet no children was ever produced. Maybe all men in Westeros became sterile, once ASOIAF started it. 

AS YOU SEE....

By the end of the day, I am disappointed in George, not really the TV show, which is even more sadder. I think he wrote a very beautiful story, but his ending is taking away all my joy for those characters and this novel. I know he wanted avoid the expected and subvert the expectations, but he is shooting his own story in their foot. And its braking my heart.

What terrible way to end such fascinating tale...

“[Bran] will be a good ruler bc he’s inhuman - which is a very depressing message. GoT was always about the struggle between human good & human evil w/in each person. Bran being king suggests that the solution to human evil isn’t human good, it’s being not human.”  

ALT SHIFT X described in great words, how I felt about this ending, and you could sense his disappointment in the final message of this story too. It's was an extremely nihlistic ending. Westeros hasn't changed in facts it's worse politically. 

A SONG OF ICE ANF FIRE VS LORD OF THE RINGS....

Now, lets compare this to LORD OF THE RINGS ending, who also got a bittersweet ending. Remember, George RRM is always comparing those stories and believes he is having a conversation to Tolkien. 

Honest to God, in comparison LOTR looks like a Disney movie. It has a beautiful coronation ceremony, humanity came together to save the world from evil, and THEY TRIUMPHED!!!! There is JOY, LOVE, HOPE. Aragorn is King of the Reunited Kingdom, the people love and admire him (can we say the same about King Bran?) . 

He marries his childhood love, Arwen and produce an heir. This brings hope and a sense of future for the reader. This story is uplifting, its inspiring, its quite frankly, a good story. 

Its impossible not feel good about this story and the ending is one of the reasons this story has touched so many people, from all over the world and has remained a classic. Because, the tale of humanity coming together to defeat the evil is a theme that its always occurring in our life times. This is something that Tolkien experienced personally, having to fight in the WWII.

The nazis were defeated because several countries, put aside their differences and fought for the good of humanity and yes, it is possible. And after WWII we actually managed to achieve a lot of humans rights for several people who were considered less in the early century. 

In GOT there was no joy or celebration, no weddings to form new alliances; to make peace; no births to bring new heirs, to bring a hope for the future. In fact, most wedding in the show were always associated with death and pain. Death and pain, yes, there was a lot of death and pain in ASOAIF. Thats all it has to offer the reader and viewer? Death, pain and misery??

I understand that George wanted to do the different and not give what the reader really wanted. But I have to be honest to you, in my opinion, this was a unfulfilling, uninspiring, unpleasant story. I said a few times, i have no desire to re read those long books. This story brought me no joy. And I understand that, stories are not obliged to bring us joy, but, they are supposed to make sense. And, I just dont think the ending made a lot of sense for those who read the books. Hey, maybe that was our mistake. Hee

What sad story :/

[fslut]

On a scale of straight to "oh honey..." how repressed/unaware/closeted baby lesbian is this description?

It's under the cut and it's in third person but its should be read like first person, long story. Obviously rough and I'll admit kinda flowery I like writing prose

Catherine couldn't help but sigh wistfully as she gazed over the subjects of Celestia enjoying the blood moon festivities. Beautiful gowns flowing together on the dance floor like some kind of work of art bouncing and just enjoying the prosperity of a healthy powerful kingdom. How Catherine wished she could join the people, watching her sister laugh with the captain mages, a bright easy smile lighting up a face Catherine knew as well as her own.

However, she couldn't rise from her throne because Darius wished to remain seated and all she wanted to do was enjoy her time by her husband's side and bring him joy. Right? Yes of course silly thought.

However Catherine at times felt herself pulled towards the dance floor and she hadn't the faintest clue why. Her heart felt warm and fluttery and sang for something in a language she couldn't understand. It yearned and sang and told her all of its desires but she could do nothing but wonder.

It was not as if her family was there. Little Elizabeth was sneaking sweets from under tables ( oh yes she saw, and was going to give her daughter quite the talking to after all the fun ) her oldest Luna was off blending into the corner the best she could to avoid suitors, oh how that resonated with Catherine she hated to see her daughter subjected to the same dog and pony show but it is what Darius wanted for their daughter and he always knew best.

Her sister had since snuck off with Atrea giggling like two school children up to no good, she was sure this would spell trouble come later in the night. So why? Why then did her heart sing to run to the dance floor and leave her beloved husband behind her.

As if giving an answer that would never be heard to a question never to be spoken a yall figure made his way from the dance floor to the throne. Sei.

Sei was a creature of pure beauty, even a married woman like Catherine could appreciate true stunning women when she saw them. Which was funny, Catherine supposed because Sei was not what one would traditionally see as "beautiful".

Traditional beauty was often seen in Catherine. Long, thick tresses that fell over her shoulders, soft delicate curves draped in the finest of silks and jewels, wide doll like almond eyes, a small red heart shaped mouth, breasts pushed up and at attention for the world to see, waist tiny and stature small.

No Catherine was not a vain woman, she hated these things. On her twin they looked right, she looked happy but on herself she felt they were always off and ugly. However it made her husband look upon her like a prized jewel in his collection and is that not the dream of every woman?

Sei on the other hand was absolute beauty, and very handsome. He stood a startling six foo four since last measured, never once daunted by his own height holding his head high and broad shoulders back. He moved with power and grace all at once, control evident in every flex of his thick muscles well honed over years of combat. While his hands were thin they were in no way delicate like Catherine's marred with scars and callouses that spoke of so much without him having to say a word - they spoke of power, control, safety. His hair shaved at the back and sides with just a small thick curly bundle atop his head a midnight black color. He never wore an ounce of make up and still his dark brown skin glowed whenever Catherine saw him.

If not obvious from the description another large detail stood out about Sei. He proffered to be referred to masculinely. In his romantic life he fell under as a child of venus, a lover of women from the heart of a woman. Not uncommon at all in celestia, Catherine's own sister Milena taking male female and non binary lovers often. However Sei had admitted to a "complicated" relationship with womanhood. While Catherine did not fully understand his motivations she did not need to - it was his business and she only need respect it.

Once, in a soft moment stolen in the middle of the night Sei had confided he sometimes enjoyed terms such as "boy" and "boyfriend" from lovers or those close to his heart in moments of private but would rather just be called a woman in the public's eye to avoid confusion. He did not see himself a boy, he admitted seeing his gender as more defined by his love of women.

Catherine would never forget the intake of breath Sei took, and dilation of his pupils when she asked if they were close enough friends she may call him "her boy" and the way his voice dropped to a gravely husk when he stared into her eyes with intensity and said "Yes. My queen."

She couldnt understand why.

Sei came towards the throne and took a knee, something in Catherine's mind making her reach for and clutch Darius' hand.

"My queen. Lady Lunera has stated she wishes to go to bed early as her "curse" has come upon her suddenly and she feels fatigued." Sei could not hide the smirk on his face or in his voice as he spoke.

Catherine rolled her eyes in amusement "Well I'll be, the fourth time this week alone her menstruation has hit '" something sour in her stomach churned at the disgusted face her husband made at the word, so uncouth in their kingdom. "Very well. Please see to her and make sure she is laid well to rest"

Sei gave a nod and a grin, getting ready to stand and speak when Darius interrupted.

"No future queen or daughter of mine will shirk her responsibilities. Men came from the seven seas to see her and she will entertain the entirety of them. You, sei will tell her right now that for her behavior she will remain at the party until the very last guest has said their goodbyes."

Sei narrowed his eyes, looking to Catherine. Stomach churning harder, Catherine spoke weakly clutching her husband's hand harder. "I am sorry dear, Darius is right it is for the best she learn the responsibilities of being a queen."

Sei growled under his breath as he spoke "yes my lords" though his dark eyes held nothing but concern for Catherine when he looked upon her, bowing and turning to return to Luna.

"That Sei, she spoils that girl I swear."

Catherine twitched, frowning. "Beloved, I have told you Sei wishes to be called he."

Darius scoffed and rolled his eyes, releasing Catherine's hand rising from his throne to go to speak directly to his daughter.

This hole in her heart, it's normal right? It just happens when you give a part of yourself to someone.

[yukiwrites]

Clumsy Tradition

Thank you so much for commissioning me again, @arod7293! I hope you enjoy this DLC, ehehe ;D

Summary: Seventeen years after taking their twins only old enough to stand up for a beach day, Felicia and Azura now enjoy watching as their children grow and fall in love -- Linnea specifically. They’ll do their utmost to support their eldest daughter through her bubbling and innocent love.

Commission info HERE and HERE!

Part 1 - Part 2

The land was Valla. Enjoying a peace of 20 years since the last war against the Silent Dragon, the Forgotten Kingdom thrived with its new rulers and like-minded supporters.

It was as though nature needed but the change in people's hearts to bloom into its most splendorous stage. The floating islands clashed on one another at first, yet slowly but surely they started attaching themselves again, forming larger and larger islands. The wonder of nature turning itself back into how it had been before Anankos brought many an opportunity for sightseeing.

After years of servitude and loyalty to the Crown, Felicia, almost coerced by her beloved Azura, took a few months off -- it was a time dedicated to her and her wife only, much like the old times.

Their children had grown and now they needn't worry about leaving them in the castle by themselves -- Linnea and Shigure were almost past their teenage years while their younger sister, Arete, sported a lively teenagehood. They could take care of themselves while Felicia and Azura took, well, 'care' of each other, in more meanings than one.

Still, the wives missed their children terribly. Having had three children born through bond pregnancies made the link between mothers and children run much deeper than normal.

They both knew that they weren't alone in that feeling -- the wives knew how attached their children were to themselves, and couldn't help but cut short their trip so as to be with the young ones again.

"As I thought, I am the happiest when our family is together -- and happy." Azura walked at low steps, leaning her head over her wife's shoulder, between their linked arms.

Felicia grinned, humming in approval. "Maybe we should just bring the kids? I'm sure Linnea and Arete will love that upside-down waterfall we saw last week! And Shigure could paint it and we could hang it in the halls or something!"

Azura closed her eyes, letting herself be led by her wife for a long moment, simply enjoying her warmth and tender scent. "What a wonderful idea, my dear. You still have a few weeks left before returning to work, so this might very well happen."

"Alright!" Felicia giggled, throwing her free hand up. "We should hurry to their room-" The maid stopped for two delicate fingers shushed her.

"Shh, my dear. Let us take our time, hm? I do so very much want to hug you for a while longer." Azura snuggled back to her wife's arm, missing the adorable blush covering Felicia's entire face.

"Oh, um, a-alright. I think I could use more hugging..." The maid stuttered, unable to suppress the wide smile tethering on the corners of her lips.

They took their time in crossing the portal, taking every little thing in -- they hadn't noticed how much they missed home until they finally arrived. The luminescent butterflies welcoming them; the smell of freshly-watered grass; the utter beauty of the blue sky and its cold sun. The perfect climate to a huge nap under a shade.

It was way into the morning when they reached the royal wing, intent on looking for their children.

"Perhaps Shigure will be by the art room? That child does love his paintings, after all." Azura bobbed her head to the side after they found their children's rooms empty.

Felicia placed one hand over her chin in thought. "Hmm, maybe they're still eating? I think the time changed a bit after we crossed the portal..."

"Regardless," Azura intertwined her fingers into her wife's hand, "let us search."

Felicia smiled softly, maybe a little proudly for having such a wonderful wife, and nodded. "Alright-"

They needn't look for long, however.

"Mom, Mother! Were you back, already?" Shigure had just exited a room at the end of the corridor -- his study -- and hurried to his mothers. "Arete, Mom and Mother are back!" He looked over his shoulder.

"Shigure!" They said in unison, opening their arms to welcome their tall son, then their youngest daughter. "Arete!"

"Mom, Mother!" The young girl smiled, inserting herself in the middle of her mothers and her brother. "I thought you'd take longer to come back!"

"That was the plan," Azura started after they pulled away, "but we missed you three so very much, we couldn't stay away any longer." She fondly caressed their cheeks.

"Yep." Felicia nodded beside her wife, one hand over Arete's shoulder. "Where's Linnea? We thought you could be eating or-"

"Mom, you're not going to BELIEVE IT," Arete started, her eyes eager to start a very tight gossip.

Shigure immediately nudged his little sister, his expression grave. "Come on, Arete. This isn't something we should simply divulge like this."

The girl immediately slapped both hands over her mouth lest it started running by itself. "Oh! I'm sorry, Big Brother, I thought..." Her voice sounded muffled by her hands, "well, I thought that if it were me, I'd want Mom and Mother to know..."

Felicia and Azura exchanged confused glances. "Did something happen with Linnea? You know you can tell us any and everything, right?" The princess soothed, grasping both of their hands.

"Yeah, we only want you three to be happy, so we'll do everything we can to help." Felicia placed her hands over Azura's, strengthening the hold.

Shigure pondered for a moment, chewing his lower lip as a thin frown danced over his brow. Well, he knew his sister too well to know that it would be okay to talk about it with their mothers. He himself would probably like his privacy, but Linnea was different.

The prince sighed in defeat. "Alright," he said with the same breath, making Arete and Felicia both beam up.

"Take your time, Son." Azura assured, mentally elbowing her wife for the eagerness.

Shigure looked around, as though people could hear them in that very deserted corridor. "The truth is, well, um... Linnea has someone she likes."

Felicia almost gasped loudly, but Azura's foot over hers managed to keep her grounded to the floor.

Arete nodded frantically, looking from her brother to her mothers. "And then, and then-"

Shigure touched her shoulder, silently asking to speak. He wanted to be the one to tell their mothers, as Linnea's twin. "And she's on a, um, date? With her right now. We've been observing-"

Arete snickered. "You mean stalking-"

"... Observing," Shigure cleared his throat, "them for a while; me, Arete and Linnea's sweetheart's friend, Nina."

"What wonderful news!" Azura clasped both hands together. "Who's this wonderful girl our Linnea is smitten to?"

Finally free from her wife's foot, Felicia gripped at Shigure's hand. "Yeah, yeah! Who's she? Where did she come from?"

"M-mom, you're getting overly excited about this-" Shigure took a step back, watching as Azura pulled Felicia by her collar.

"Her name's Caeldori!" Arete informed, unaffected by Felicia's enthusiasm or Shigure's reservation. "She's Sir Subaki's daughter and they met-"

Once again Shigure placed a hand over his sister's shoulder. "They met here in the castle after Caeldori got lost while delivering a parcel to Jakob."

"Oh, it must've been the usual, for Lady Rhajat," Felicia muttered under her breath, used to receiving Subaki's parcels herself. "And then they became friends and lovers-"

Shigure sputtered. "Linnea WISH they were lovers, Mom. They've been... tip-toeing around each other from the start. It's almost annoying, really."

Arete puffed her chest. "It's so fun to watch them! We were actually gonna head there just now to stalk-"

"... Observe."

"... To stalk them a bit more, heehee! Maybe you two could come with us? They never found us no matter how crudely we were hiding..."

"Surely because Nina is very good at finding us proper hiding spots." The prince bobbed his head to the sides, pensive.

Felicia and Azura exchanged looks, the maid's grin mirrored by the princess' worried smile. "We would love to spy- er, watch them, if it wouldn't be too much trouble-"

"Heeeyy! Shigure! Little Sis! What's taking you so long? They're already at the forest by now!" An eager voice called from a nearby window, banging it open. "C'mon, c'mon, hurry it up!"

The family looked at one another and dissolved into a comfortable laugh. They took a quick pace and headed towards Linnea's garden.

Once there, Nina directed them all towards proper hiding spots. "If we're all behind the same bushes, our presence might alert them. Little Sis's on guard duty, as always."

"That's so boring, but alright!" Arete pouted as she headed to the easternmost entry of the garden, leaving Shigure and Nina close behind.

Felicia and Azura circled towards the western side, finding their daughter and her sweetheart immediately.

Azura recognized Linnea's behavior instantly: the girl acted much like she and her wife did, years ago, during their courting days. She was lost in Caeldori's beauty, her unfocused eyes going from the girl's lips to her lustrous hair and pretty eyes. The princess couldn't help but snort and take her wife's hand, watching both of their histories playing again right in front of her.

Startled, Felicia almost shrieked with the sudden touch, but managed to slip her free hand over her mouth. Still, even if she had yelped, the duo probably wouldn't have notice them.

They were lost in their own world.

"Wow, it looks like Linnea's really taken by that girl." Felicia blinked, feeling almost bad for sneaking around her own daughter.

Azura hummed in response, feeling a jovial thump beating in her heart. It made her recall memories of her and Felicia's courting, so many years ago, bringing a smile to her lips.

A few moments later, Felicia perked up from her position. "Oh, no! Someone's coming!" She felt the presence of the royal twins before they showed themselves, immediately looking at the kiss that almost was.

Kamyu called out for Linnea, making the princess sputter and pull away from Caeldori, shoving her head in the dirt from embarrassment. The other girl shot herself up and ran away, her face even redder than her hair.

"Oh, no..." The both of them whispered, each displaying their surprise differently: Azura took both hands to clutch her chest, feeling for her little girl, as Felicia dragged her hands through her face, remembering how the times she missed a kiss felt.

The royal twins stayed for a few minutes, oblivious to Linnea's inner turmoil, and Felicia took that time to sneak around and go towards where Caeldori had ran to.

"I'll have a talk with Shigure, Arete and Nina about this; maybe we can help them."

"Very well. I'll stay here and talk with Linnea." Azura concurred and they went their separate ways.

Once the twins left, Azura made herself known, but Linnea didn't even realize her mother was there.

She was cursing her own inability and playing the scene in her head over and over, regretting it so, so very much-

"Linnea, my dear?" Azura called, crouching by her eldest daughter.

The young princess jumped out of her skin, but immediately dove into her mother's arms. "Mother! When did you return? Where's Mom? I wanna hug her too-"

"Shh, dear." Azura caressed Linnea's cheek, cleaning some of the dirt allocated there. "Your mom is talking with Shigure and Arete. It's only us, now."

Linnea took a few moments to process it, her mind once again wandering back into replaying the scene. "I-" she stuttered, her eyes burning with tears. "I messed it all up, Mother!" She cried out, squeezing Azura.

"Oh, my darling..." Azura soothed, running her hand up and down Linnea's back. "Talk with Mother. You know you can always count on me."

Sniffling, Linnea simply nodded, not noticing how much she was crying. Caeldori had turned into an important part of her life in such a little time, it was almost scary. She didn't want everything to end because of- of whatever had happened just now!

Taking her time with the words, Linnea carefully explained how she had met Caeldori and how their days went; how the bubbly feeling sprouted, took root and bloomed inside her chest, and how she was almost bursting with love. "Maybe if I weren't so clumsy- I wonder if she hates me? She ran so fast..."

Azura giggled, making the young woman lift her head in disapproval. "Oh, my darling! Forgive me for laughing, but it's simply amusing how you've misunderstood everything!"

"Mother?" Linnea tilted her head to the side. Azura dried her daughter's tears with her thumbs, a warm smile on her face.

"Everything, my darling; starting from the very principle that you are not, in fact, clumsy!"

Linnea immediately frowned, pulling back from her mother. "What?! No way! Have you seen our family? It runs in our blood! And I just told you about the things I did with Caeldori-"

"Heehee! Your clumsiness is at the 'everyone does it once in a while' level, dear! And those you mentioned with Caeldori -- the bones you broke and the holes in the stairs you opened -- were unfortunate accidents! Have you never noticed that whenever you took over one of your siblings' chores -- be it rearranging Shigure's art room or cleaning up yours and Arete's room -- everything went well and smooth? As opposed to when they did it?"

Linnea's mouth was agape, as were her eyes wide. "I... I... What? I'm not clumsy?" She frowned deeply, searching in her memory for the proofs her mother supplied. It was indeed true that she spent most of her time cleaning up SHIGURE'S messes rather than her own... Or that she would catch Arete after she tripped rather than falling down herself.

She was just... Normal? Normal levels of clumsiness?

"Wh-what a shock...!" She took one hand to chest, feeling it lighten up considerably. She was cursing herself, thinking Caeldori might hate her for her clumsiness -- but it was all in her head!

Well, at least the clumsiness part; Caeldori STILL could hate her for N other motives.

Noticing how her daughter went from pleasantly surprised to depressed once again, Azura felt her pain and placed one hand over her daughter's. "Linnea...?"

The young princess pouted, a swirl of bad feelings swarming her mind and heart. She blinked up to her mother, trying to find something, ANYTHING, to take her mind away from Caeldori hating her. "Mother, how was your first kiss with Mom?"

Mildly surprised with the question, Azura immediately remembered the days of hers and her wife's youth. "... Clumsily." She replied softly, though a loud bang startled both princesses out of their skins right after.

"Awawa... I didn't see that root there." Felicia quickly got on her feet, massaging her forehead, which she hit on the ground. She lost concentration on walking after overhearing Linnea's question. "A-am I late?"

Azura let out a stiff laugh, patting the space beside her for her wife to sit. "Right on time, in fact!"

"M-mom..." Linnea sputtered, remembering her previous conversation with Azura. She wasn't THAT clumsy, that was for sure!

Embarrassed for running into such an intimate talk, but quickly making her way to her wife, Felicia sat down in front of her daughter. "We're talking about kisses, hm?"

Suddenly ashamed, Linnea blushed. "Uh, um, I think I'm good now-"

"Oh, poppycock! Listen to how wonderful was your mothers' kiss!" Azura griped harder at her daughter's hand, preventing her from getting up.

Linnea felt a mild regret for asking how her MOTHERS got intimate. You don't ask that stuff to your parents, ew!

"N-not only the kisses, though," Felicia nudged her wife with her elbow, winking.

"Oh, my!" Azura teased back. Linnea gagged, looking away.

"Baaarrrf!" She groaned. "Mooooomm! TPO! Tee Pee Oh!"

Azura threw her head back in laughter. "But you asked, dear!"

"Ughh," Linnea dragged one hand through her face. "I regret it! Very much! Please let me go?" She said with fake disgust, finally smiling from the heart.

"Very well..." Azura indulged, lifting both hands up as though caught in the act.

"Thanks." Linnea sprung up with a pop, "I'll, uh, go back to my room, now. Thanks for listening, Mother."

Azura held Felicia's hand. "Always, my darling."

"It's gonna be okay, dear! Believe me on this!" Felicia cheered, not wanting the slump on Linnea's shoulder to come back.

"Um, okay..." The princess replied, not understanding her mom's sudden enthusiasm, but very much NOT wanting to stay there to find out lest she heard more about, ugh, intimate times between parents! Ew!

As soon as Linnea was out of sight, Felicia grasped Azura's hand. "Shigure and Nina got a plan to bring Caeldori and Linnea together! C'mon, let's go!"

Being pulled by her wife, Azura quickly got up. "W-wait, my darling-"

"C'mon, we're going to our place! It's gonna be Linnea's special place too, I can't believe it!"

The princess gasped softly, placing her free hand over her chest. "Did you plant that idea in our son's head?"

Felicia twitched. "I... might've." She giggled. "That place's always been there for all of our special moments... I wanted it to be there for Linnea's, too."

"Oh, my sweet Felicia..."

"C'mon, I'll tell you more once we get there!"

They quickly made their way to a special portal, making their move before Shigure could talk to Linnea. They wanted to be there before Linnea arrived, after all.

As they installed themselves on one side of the lake, Felicia filled Azura in on the plan: it was simple enough; Shigure would make up a new kind of paint that would need a special flower from this DeepRealm and ask Linnea to fetch it for him. At the same time, Nina, back in Hoshido, would ask Caeldori for that flower so she could start experimenting on masking one's smell with it, for... people-watching purposes.

"You mean stalking? So Nina is also an accomplished stalker, huh?" Azura giggled from behind a bush, actively looking around for her daughter.

"Uh, she stomped her foot until I called it 'people-watching', so that's how I'm gonna call it from now on," the maid cleared her throat, looking in the general direction of the portal.

They whispered stories back and forth, Azura filling Felicia into what Linnea had told her. The maid stole more glances than necessary towards the clearing, however.

Noticing her wife's antsy movements, Azura softly made Felicia look at her. "Are you nervous for our daughter? I can almost hear your heartbeat from here!"

Felicia gulped. "Well, I HAVE been right there where she is, you know? And I know just how she's feeling... From what you've told me about how Linnea feels about Caeldori, it's really  just like how I felt towards you... In love with someone pretty and perfect and unaware of how my clumsy actions would affect you."

Azura placed her forehead on Felicia's, her breath soothing the maid's. "Well, don't be nervous! Look at us right now -- married, with three children and as happy as our wedding night! Trust me on this -- Linnea and Caeldori WILL be happy, just as we are."

Felicia's shoulders sagged. "That's all I want for our little girl."

"And that is exactly what will happen," Azura stole a peck over her wife's lips.

Not a second later, they could feel the presence of other people -- Shigure, Nina and Arete had arrived at the opposing patch of woods. Soon after, Linnea also entered, mumbling something to herself.

Immediately did the wives stiffen in their positions, almost unable to contain their smiles.

The moment Caeldori entered and listened into Linnea's mumbling, they knew it wouldn't take long for them to kis-

"Oh, wow, Linnea just jumped and kissed Caeldori like that!" Felicia gasped at the same time someone yelled a loud 'YES' where Shigure and co were.

The maid's words were muffled by the yell, but she and her wife noticed how that hadn't stopped the girls from kissing and laughing between smaller kisses.

Azura brought one hand to her chest in emotion, feeling her eyes burn with tears. "Go live your love, my darling..." She whispered, gripping at her wife's hand. Felicia still stared at the scene, unaware of Azura's monologue. "Just as I have."

Felicia tilted her head towards her wife, not wanting to tear her eyes away from the happy scene in front of them. "What?"

"I love you," Azura whispered right by her wife's ear, making the maid jump out of her skin and grin widely.

"Awawa- I- I love you too!"

Azura glanced at her children -- Linnea was now running after Arete while pulling Shigure by the ear while Caeldori stomped her foot in front of Nina -- and noticed they would be there for a while. "Why not follow their example, hm? We won't be able to move here for now." She slipped one hand on her wife's neck, scratching it ever so slightly.

Emotional for her daughter and happy to witness such a heartwarming moment, Felicia caressed her wife's cheek. "Don't mind if I do," she whispered as she closed into her favorite thing in the world -- Azura's lips -- and kissed it.

They slowly descended to the ground, hiding even further behind the bush, deepening their kiss. "I love you, my sweet Felicia," Azura bit her beloved's lips, never tired of proclaiming her feelings.

"I love you too, my darling Azura..."

[calliecat93]

Your top 5 most misunderstood characters in your opinion and why?

Huh... that is a REALLY good question Anon. Like sometimes the misunderstanding is just something stupid that gets overblown in fandom, but... hmm... okay I’m going off the top of my head here so there are probably better examples out there. But here’s my picks in no particular order:

1. Donatello (TMNT 2012)

If anyone has followed my blog since my 2k12 phase, you all already know what I’m going to say. During mainly Season 2, but it was kinda there in Season One, Donnie got a TON of stalker/creeper accusations because of his crush on April. Now I won’t lie, there ARE good reasons why and looking back now, I think I was too harsh and missing the point when I argued back. I am now more understanding of these kinds of problems and why so many were against it and I apologize if I came off as bitchy or aggressive in my defense posts. Nevertheless, my stance still stands. Donnie is an idiot teenager in love, bot a stalker. His motivations were overall well-intentioned, if carried out poorly. Fortunately by Season 3, this more or less died but since I spent about over a year arguing about it, it still stands out in my mind.

2. Martin Kratt (Wild Kratts)

Okay, it’s surprisingly hard for me to think of misunderstood characters cause as I said, it’s mainly for stupid reasons. This one is very minor, but I thought of it. The WK fandom is usually overall on the same page, hence why it’s the most tolerable fandom I’m in. Now Martin is a very happy-go-locky character, most characters in the show are. But he’s normally characterized as ditzier and well... dumber than his brother Chris. This is because Chris is the more logical thinker, but the truth is they are pretty equally intelligent. Martin isn’t as logical and straightforward with his creature knowledge, but he knows just as much as his little brother. He’s more emotionally smart and seems to have a better understanding of a creatures behaviors and emotional thinking. In short, Martin isn’t stupid. Reckless and short-sighted maybe, but so is Chris so...

3. Elsa (Frozen)

I’m gonna get a lot of heat for this one. Elsa has become very beloved since the movie came out, especially due to Let it Go. A song about accepting your gifts and allowing yourself to be set free. Indeed the song and the sequence that accompanied it are amazing... and are very bad in context. Elsa isn’t a bad character. I sympathize with her a lot, but IDK if I’d call her empowering. At least not until the end. While Elsa accepting her powers is a good thing and healthier than her previous mindset, it’s STILL unhealthy. She’s still isolating herself form everyone. She’s still living in fear. While she didn’t know about the storm until Anna showed up,s he was still abandoning her sister and a kingdom that was counting on her. It isn’t until the end when Anna more or less died for her that Elsa finally faced her problems. I hope the sequel will do a better job of letting Elsa become a confident character, but as it stands in Frozen she is nowhere near as great as she gets made out to be imo.

4. Professor Snape (Harry Potter)

Ho boy, this one. I was struggling to think of one when THIS popped into my brain. I hate Snape. I hate him so much. But SO MANY think that he is this sympathetic character who ultimately did nothing wrong and did all that he did because of his love for Lily. Which yes, he can warrant sympathy and him acting as a double agent was a very brave act that in the end helped the good guys grately. But... Snape is still an absolute asshole. Just look at his treatment of Harry, or really many of the kids. He’s outright rude an insulting to Hermione, a child, and I think int he books he was to Neville as well. But Harry? He is harsh, cruel, and cold to this kid because he’s the son of his former crush and his former bully. Look, he can hate James forever, but Harry did NOTHING to him. He is a kid who never even knew his parents and Snape KNEW THIS. If he truly loved Lily, he’d have at least been decent to the kid because he understood his loss. But not, he treat shim like dirt. He also got Lupin fired because he was friends with James by outing him as a werewolf, which was just terrible in so many ways. Also he never got over hating muggle borns from what I can tell, he switched because he was in love with a woman who he himself drove off. Yet we’re supposed to hate James more, nvm that he changed his ways by the time he and Lily married and wasn’t a racist. Sorry Rowling, but Snape is a terrible character imo and while his double agent act was indeed brave, I will never understand why so many try to paint him as a character who did no wrong when he was without question an asshole.

5. Professor Ozpin/Ozma (RWBY)

I saved this for last because it’s the most recent n my mind. I already wrote about this yesterday, but... man do many demonize this poor guy. Because Ozpin has had to make crappy decisions and has a tendency for secret keeping, so many wanted to paint him as secretly evil. Even moreso than Salem. Because... IDK, the male character always has to be terrible? Now Ozpin is a shady character, but even when all this started in V3, I always saw it as him trying to do what was best for the greater good and he clearly didn’t like doing those things. There were never any signs to me that he was evil or using people as sacrificial lambs without giving a damn. He does, and that’s what makes him interesting. He has to do all these questionable things that he himself hates because if he doesn’t, he risks the Gods wiping out the world. Essentially, many want to use Divide, the VILLAIN SONG that paints Ozpin as this terrible person from the VILLAINS POV, and use it as fact. Truth is, Ozpin is a regular guy who got given an impossible task and sadly to fulfill that task, it involves making the harsh choices that no one wants to make. But even after that revelation, so many still want to stick to the ‘he’s a heartless bastard using children soldiers’ crap and accuse the writing of being bad because they didn’t get what they want. Ozpin is a very complex character, and people need to accept that instead of clinging onto him having to be 100% good or 100% bad. Humans don’t work that way.

[seyaryminamoto]

While I agree that I would've loved to see Zuko and Azula get along more, and I still do want that, but honestly, I don't think that anyone will disagree that Azula's behavior was far worse when she got older. This isn't me ripping on her, because I really do love her, but Ozai corrupted almost any good that she had in her. At that point in time, I agreed with Iroh. She needed to go down. I still have some hope for her redemption, but she was a danger, and needed to be stopped at that time.

PSA: THIS IS A RANT THAT CRITICIZES FANDOM BELOVED CHARACTERS. NOT BECAUSE I’M RANTING ABOUT IT DOES IT MEAN YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO LOVE THEM. THIS IS NOT A BLOG FOR PROMOTION OF NON-PROBLEMATIC CONTENT, NEVER HAS BEEN NEVER WILL BE. I AM NOT PRETENDING MY FAVES ARE BETTER HUMAN BEINGS THAN YOURS. OKAY? OKAY. CARRY ON.

… Actually, I think literally everyone I know disagrees? o_O

I mean, it’s 11-year-old Azula who celebrates Zuko getting burned (for whatever her reasons, it’s very debated, as you might know). 14-year-old Azula doesn’t thrive in Zuko’s pain until her breakdown, which I THINK everyone acknowledges as her not-normal status, where she basically wants revenge for Zuko “stealing” everything she thought was rightfully hers. So, in regards of “basking in suffering”? There’s literally no solid evidence for it when she’s older, which is why everyone uses the Agni Kai as evidence to call her a sadist and then have no other examples for it. Azula has lots of chances to put people through worlds of pain if she feels like it, but she never takes them. Even after taking Zuko captive in the Crossroads of Destiny, she inflicts ZERO damage on him. So? Is she really worse at 14 than she was at 11?

Throughout Book 2 she tries to capture Zuko and Iroh, never kill them. Back when she was 9, she was amused by the idea of Zuko getting adopted by an Earth Kingdom family while at 14 she’s offering him the chance to come home. I’d think there’s a difference, and not quite a negative one. Even if “the redemption she offered was not for him”, it’s still Azula giving Zuko a chance to return to his family and homeland, as fucked-up a family as it may be, instead of thinking it’s hella fun for Zuko to live like a peasant and be cut off from his family and everything he knows. Again, I don’t see how she’s worse at 14.

Though I’ll say, just in case, that if you’re one of those people who think she could see the future and somehow predicted that Aang wouldn’t die because Katara had magic water (for the billionth time, she had no realistic way of knowing this, and this is the only reason why she could have suspected Aang would survive because it’s the only reason why Zuko suspected it in the first place), if you think that she planned everything ahead long before the turtle-duck pond scene, then I don’t think we’ll see eye to eye in many regards, if any at all…

If you’re also thinking about how she burns Iroh in The Chase, as most her actions in Books 2 and 3, she was doing it for a purpose. She needed to escape, Iroh’s the one that got distracted. If anyone else had been distracted instead, she would have gone for them instead, I’m sure of it.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, BECAUSE I JUST KNOW IT WENT FORGOTTEN:

Iroh escaped violently too back in Book 1 from a group of Earth Kingdom soldiers who had rightfully taken him prisoner when he had his guard down. I don’t see the difference between either situation. If Iroh and Zuko get to team up, burn and crush five Earth Kingdom men (who may just have had good reasons to despise Iroh for his siege to Ba Sing Se, just like Iroh and Zuko had good reasons to run away from Azula), why the heck is it such a horrible crime when Azula did it? Is it because she did it to a named, beloved character but when Iroh did it, it was to a random Earth Kingdom soldier?

Just to remind you, since this is an old episode people tend to forget, at one point Iroh even set up a trap so a soldier would “tighten his shackles”, overheated his left shackle and burned the guy’s hand, AND KEPT HIS HAND PRESSED TO THE SHACKLE, BTW, to make sure he got burned! Afterwards, shoots a lot of fire at an ostrich horse so he can cause a distraction and escape, but he fails anyways and that’s when the soldiers decide he’s too dangerous as he is. Now, how is his course of action any different from what Azula did to him and to the Gaang? How aren’t we having discussions on how awful Iroh’s actions are, but this is ALWAYS an argument people bring up to say Azula is awful…?

My opinion? We should start measuring characters with the same scale, same measure tape. If this is something we forgive of Iroh’s, then it makes no sense for it to be something we can’t forgive of Azula’s. All it really means is people are less willing to forgive her than they are to forgive him.

After all this evidence, I don’t think she got any worse with age, nor do I think that at 14 she’s a worse person than a lot of people the Gaang met. I mean, I really don’t know where you’re getting that idea about her being worse when she’s older… I mean, what, she’s better at manipulation? She’s more efficient about the things she does? She’s more goal-oriented? 9yo Azula literally talks about her grandfather and uncle dying as casually as can be, I see no such behavior in 14yo Azula until her breakdown, which is the only point where she starts wanting Zuko dead (given how frustrated Zuko is when Azula doesn’t plummet to death, though, I don’t think she’s the only one who wanted to be an only child).

Long story short, Anon, I see no excuse for Iroh’s comment. Especially when you see him dismissing and treating Azula as less important than Zuko from as early as in picking out presents for his niece and nephew. I see no excuse for Iroh trying to spare his own potentially conflicted feelings when it comes to fighting his own brother, who is WORSE than Azula, while having groomed Zuko perfectly into being ready to fight his sister 24/7. 

She was a hazard and needs to be stopped is an argument I’ve seen used countless times to justify Iroh and Zuko being merciless towards her, btw. May I remind you, though… both Zuko and Iroh end up as her prisoners at different points in time. Then she takes them home, mission accomplished. That’s it. That’s what she did to them at the time. That’s what her threat amounted to. Zuko goes unharmed altogether. Iroh gets treated worse by the creep-ass Warden than he does by Azula. So, she was a hazard? She was a problem? She needed to be stopped? Uh, let me translate that: she was their foil, she was on a mission that they needed to keep her from fulfilling. Just as Azula was a danger to them, Zuko was a danger to Aang in Book 1 (and still part of Book 2). Why doesn’t anyone ever claim he needs to be stopped, that he’s a menace, that he’s a terrible person for all that? It doesn’t happen in-story, ever. When Katara is being super distrustful of him in Book 3, she’s framed as in the wrong about him and takes aaaaaaaaaaall of it back before long. So, why the double standard? Is it because Zuko’s not as effective as his sister? Because his persistence is apparently a good trait, but in Azula it’s the mark of evil?

Really, stop to look at Azula’s POV for a while. Watch the show from where she’s standing. Literally, her every action from Book 2 to 3 (until her breakdown) has a reason, she doesn’t do anything for free. Even her threat to Ty Lee, horrible as it was, came from her deciding to change her tactics and settling on Ty Lee and Mai as her new companions. It proves she’s not going to stop at anything, yes, but she had a purpose. Ty Lee would have stayed happy, unthreatened, in her circus, if only Ozai didn’t tell Azula to find and bring Iroh and Zuko home. It’s because of her mission that Azula drags her out of there. EVERYTHING she does is because of the mission in Book 2. By Book 3, it’s about keeping the Fire Nation on top, and about defeating the threats against it. She literally lets the Gaang get away when she could have chased after them on that blimp she was on at the end of the episode, maybe attacked them from it (especially since Appa was carrying too many people and wouldn’t fly too far like that). She chooses not to, because the battle is over. She won. Why would she need to do anything else? 

Also, literally none of the adults who were taken prisoners look harmed, so the Fire Nation didn’t treat them poorly. Hell, Hakoda is HEALED from his injury when we see him again in the Boiling Rock. Sooooo, how damn horrible it is to lose against Azula, isn’t it? Who has EVER seen a more dangerous villain?!?!?! I mean, ffs, let’s be objective here, shall we? Zhao was way worse to Zuko and to his prisoners than Azula was. Long Feng was a literal brainwasher. By violence measurements and cruelty, she’s a n00b compared to them.

Long story short, if the problem is Azula is too effective a villain without that much violence, and that’s why she has to stop, well, it ain’t her fault her enemies aren’t as competent as she is. I don’t see how she’s morally worse than anyone else they fought, tbh she’s not, because she does offer Zuko kindness plenty of times. Yet she gets treated like the biggest problem ever by the characters and fandom alike.

And really, I think we both got extremely sidetracked from the point of the post that caused you to send this ask. Point is, Iroh doesn’t want Zuko and Azula getting along. Iroh doesn’t ever consider that maybe he can guide Azula into a better path if it was possible with Zuko. Iroh doesn’t ever think that maybe he can help her get out of Ozai’s influence. To him, she’s a lost case, and worse than that, she’s barely family (NEVER does he refer to her as such). To him, she’s the biggest rival he ever faces in the show because, as the show proved, Azula can make Zuko drift away from him. So, Mr. Nice Wise Guy never tried to get along with his niece and basically marked her as unforgivable for as long as she was a threat to his influence on Zuko. Ursa was a nasty mother to Azula and we literally have no proof of her loving Azula, but she didn’t want her children to be enemies. Ozai and Iroh literally turn Azula and Zuko against each other. Can we just accept that Iroh isn’t all that blameless? Why do we need to excuse him and pretend he had every right to behave like this 14yo girl was Vaatu incarnate when the show itself proves she’s NOT?

Seriously though. Iroh is not perfect. What’s so hard about admitting this? Why can’t we accept that he’s not all wisdom? That he never tried to help Azula? That he never wanted Zuko and Azula to get along? That he literally was counting on breaking Zuko away from his other relatives so he’d come to him, and him alone? I’m not saying that Azula and Ozai were good influences on Zuko, because they weren’t, but Zuko used to care about his father. He used to think he should get along with his sister. 

Wouldn’t it be EXTRA meaningful if Zuko had still felt that it was somehow wrong to fight his family, even though he knew it was the only thing he could do, instead of being murder-happy towards Aang while telling him his father HAD TO DIE? Wouldn’t it be better if Iroh had actually tried to reach Azula, but she just swatted him off because she’s not interested in what he’s selling? Wouldn’t it mean something huge for his character if Zuko’s attempt to reconnect with the good in his family had actually meant reconnecting his family to GOODNESS, instead of just worrying about his personal needs during The Search, WHICH IS ALL HE DID???

No. Instead, we get both Zuko and Iroh concluding that their respective siblings need to be ended. If you find nothing worth complaining about in those regards, that’s your problem, but I don’t have to like it. And I don’t have to think they’re heroic or right to think the way they do. Azula is no angel, neither are they. Zuko would be a far more moving character for me if he actually had shown he gave a damn about his sister, but he NEVER DID. 

Because really, every single time you see those asks going around? It’s “Do you guys REALLY think Azula cared about Zuko?” Ask yourself if Big Brother Zuzu cared about Azula instead, for a change. And FYI, if you conclude that he didn’t love her at all, that doesn’t mean you can’t love him. You can. Just, be aware of the fact that he’s no beacon of perfect goodness, that he’s got a lot of areas to improve on, and just like him, Iroh does. I find it beyond unfair that a man who literally redeemed himself at well past 50 years of age decided that his teenage niece is beyond saving. 

So, anon, be objective, don’t look at things from Iroh’s POV but from a neutral one, by understanding everyone’s motivations, and tell me that Iroh wouldn’t look like a way better human being if he just gave a shit about the family members he’s estranged from, while they don’t care about him at all. Literally, it’d be the perfect way to show why Iroh is the morally correct one. You want me to tell you the hard truth as to why this is so hard to accept for most fans? It’s only because of how morally incorrect his behavior is that people keep refusing to admit Iroh was wrong in how he handled Azula and her relationship with Zuko.

[dudence-blog]

Dear Dudence for 1 December 2017

And we are now in December!  Christmas time!  Trees, lights, inflatable penguins!  And drama!  Soooooooooooo much drama.  It is the season for sharing mulled wine with people you like, and who like you back.  So grab a mug of warmed wine, cider, or chocolate and let’s see what sort of problems I can make worse for people I don’t know!

I live in a close-knit neighborhood. In October, my neighbor’s 16-year-old daughter ran over my family’s beloved cat. She was driving irresponsibly and texting, and she was horrified by what she’d done. I have tried not hating her, and I’ve tried telling myself that there’s always a risk that a cat allowed outdoors will be hit by a car. But I’m angry, and the best thing for me now is to keep my distance from the girl and her family. The parents won’t back off, though. Their daughter is traumatized, and they want me to comfort her.

Dear Cat Killer, unexpectedly losing a beloved pet sucks.  And to have it happen because of the negligent actions of a person you need to continue interacting with is doubly sucky.  I’m going to disagree with Newdie though about it not being awful for you to continue to want to emotionally punish your neighbor’s daughter.  You don’t have to forgive her for her actions; she killed a member of your family afterall.  But is “making a child feel terrible and refusing any kindness towards her,” really the hill you wish to die on?  You say you live in a closely-knit neighborhood, so here’s how it’s going to play out.  You’re going to continue to hold this over your neighbor and their daughter.  They’re going to talk with your other neighbors and, eventually, it will come around to the point where you’re being petty, vindictive, and emotionally cruel to not move on.  It was “just a cat” and you did “know what could happen” if you let it roam outside in an area where cars traveled.  In the not-too-distant future you’re going to lose the very loose and sandy moral high ground on which you’re standing, and it’s not going to be fun for you.  I recommend you think long and hard about what sort of acts of contrition you want to see from your neighbor’s kid as a way to earn your forgiveness, and when she achieves that provide it.  At the end of the day the girl is going to eventually forgive herself and move on.  Whether you do or you allow this anger and resentment to eat away at you and your relations with your neighbors is up to you.

I’m a single woman with a large extended family. I cope with the enormous project of buying Christmas presents by getting them very early. Everyone in my family knows this; it’s the family joke that I have all my presents purchased by Halloween. My brother’s wife “Jean” sent out a group text last week saying they have decided not to exchange gifts with the extended family and would only be getting gifts for each other and their own kids. They have five kids, both together and via previous marriages, so I understand, but would have appreciated more notice. My mom asked what I was going to do, and I said I’d keep the gifts for the kids but return the ones I got for my brother and Jean. Unfortunately, my dad, the family big mouth, overheard us and told my brother.

Dear Christmas Gift Drama, Jean is not right.  Christmas is not about gift-giving.  It’s about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.  That we have turned it into a celebration of eating, basketball, giving and exchanging gifts is ancillary to whatever the “meaning” of the holiday is.  Grown-ass people getting their panties in a wad because their grown-ass sibling didn’t get them something after they said they’re not getting the sibling something are pathetic.  You are morally and ethically in the right to return their gifts.  Send them a nice card with a friendly and caring message of love for the holidays.  Although do send the kids their gifts; it’s not their fault their mother acted rudely.

How do I cut off my seemingly well-intentioned family? My whole life, my little sister was the favorite. Growing up, other adults even commented on it to me, which actually helped because it showed me it wasn’t all in my head. On the outside they are a well-meaning Southern family, but to me they are suffocating.

Dear Just Want Out, you’re not going to be able to ghost your own family.  You’re, eventually, going to need to tell them why you’re ignoring them.  Or, you’re going to tell someone why and they’re going to tell them.  So, sack-up and tell them you’re not going to be joining them because it’s not in the budget, whether due to money or time.  Send a polite card wishing them well for the holiday and move on with your life.  Hit “ignore” on the Family Gift Wish List text as well.

I have been struggling with my son for a long time and just don’t know how to get through to him. He started out being very impulsive as a young child, not thinking things through, getting aggressive with other children, and not listening. Once he entered grade school the aggressive behavior toned down significantly, thank goodness, and he appeared to be listening to his teachers. At home is a different story. I’ve been divorced from my son’s father since he was 2-1/2 years old but up until recently he still maintained contact with him. I attributed many of his behaviors to his father’s leniency and lack of discipline. However, my son is nine now and no longer has contact with his father, who is a deadbeat.

Dear At Wits’ End, oof.  This is a heart-breaking letter on several levels.  There’s a whole lot of hurt, pain, and problems in not a lot of space, and much of them are far beyond the capabilities of NuPru or me to address.  As much as I’d like to join in NuPru’s condemnation of your actions and the consequence it has had on your son I’m not going to.  Parenting is hard, single-parenting harder still, and even the best, most wonderful, and well-intentioned people can fail when pushed hard enough.  Hitting your kid in anger is a terrible thing to do, your 9 year old cannot have done anything to justify such violence, it’s not going to result in the behavior you want, and will likely get you seriously hemmed up by the law.  Maybe she’s right that your actions have left your son unable to form friendships or fail to hit developmental milestones, but it’s also possible there are some underlying medical issues which could be at play, and the healing power of “and” is always at work.  Certainly your actions and attitude towards him aren’t helping, but without identifying that possibility you’re going to be swimming against the stream even more than you are now.  You need to get yourself some help to deal with your anger and stress.  You need to get your son some help as well; his school district almost certainly has some resources to identify if he has a developmental issue.  And it’s not likely his teachers haven’t noticed his behavior, so it’s probably something someone there is considering.  After you get yourself some help for the anger and control issues it might be worth trying to reestablish a relationship with the boy’s father.  That he became a “deadbeat” while you were belittling his parental choices and escalating the emotional and physical abuse of your shared child might be connected.

I’m a trans woman who’s been in a relationship with a queer cis girl for a couple years. It has slowly come out that my partner wants to “date people who have vaginas.” She’s told me before that she sees herself as having been historically deprived of the ability to date people with vaginas because society has primed her relationship life to involve “people who have penises.” I feel hurt by this analysis, because I honestly have never seen any societal
forces compelling anyone to date trans people like me. This line of logic also seems disingenuous given that she was raised in a cis lesbian household. I feel hurt and inadequate. When we have conversations about this, the conversation always unfolds with her in the role of the victim. This is a difficult dynamic to escape, because she is better than me at using sound social justice rhetoric.

Dear Just Want to Feel Normal, you’re not taking this too personally.  Once we strip away all the gender identifying text this is about your significant other no longer being attracted (as attracted?) to you, wanting to date other people, but wanting to keep you around for their own satisfaction.  Oh, and there’s also a bit of mind-fuckery going on where she’s trying to blame you for not wanting to be her doormat.  Your girlfriend can deploy all the social justice rhetoric she wishes, but it doesn’t change that she’s behaving like an asshole.  It sucks when someone you love reveals they no longer feel the same, and it’s a suck-multiplier when they exploit your own feelings of inadequacy and emotional vulnerabilities at the same time.  Just because you’re trans doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like your hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend is treating you.  You deserve to have a supporting, caring partner who is totally into you, and I hope you find them.

I recently became good friends with “Absalom” and “Richard.” Richard is queer and non-binary but very masculine-presenting, while Absalom is a straight cis man (I myself am a gay cis man). When we first became friends, Richard and I both developed small crushes on Absalom before we knew his sexuality. We both subtly and innocently flirted with him a couple times. After Absalom offhandedly mentioned he was straight, I backed off, no big deal.

Dear Looking for Straight Talk, much like Wanting to Feel Normal, let’s go ahead and strip out the genders, orientation, etc.  Bottom line is one of your friends is romantically pressuring one of your other friends in a way which the object of the affections doesn’t seem to appreciate, is noticed and negatively remarked upon by another group of friends, and which is making you uncomfortable.  You passed the point where Richard’s behavior was “not OK” a while ago.  Actually, you know what, let’s call him Dick.  Absalom is not enthusiastically consenting to Dick’s come-ons and Dick is either not picking up on this, thinks he just needs to apply the right amount of pressure to make Absalom come around, is getting his jollies out of making Absalom have to take his unreciprocated advances, or the healing power of “and”.  Let’s put the genders, orientation, etc back into the question.  Despite what Kevin Spacey says, being non-heteronormative isn’t carte-blanche to behave boorishly.  Honestly, had this situation involved a man making unwelcome advances towards a woman Bad Pru would have been much more straight-forward in her advice and the condemnation of Dick’s behavior.  So I will.  What you’re describing is the sort of sexual impropriety we really shouldn’t tolerate.  Let Dick know it’s “Not Okay”, or, preferably, let Dick know that he’s being a fucking creep.

[letterstochristopher]

The worst phone call a sister could ever receive. April 13th. Day 5.

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. And it’s scary to post this online, to be this vulnerable. But I feel compelled to share my experience. I thought maybe it could 1) be therapeutic, and 2) help someone who is dealing with the same thing. Suicide is such a weird subject. People don’t know how to talk about it. But it needs to be talked about. I need to talk about this. Because the sad reality is my family won’t be the last people to deal with this.

Saturday was a day like any other, although it’s so funny to look back as it was the last normal day of my life. My husband Clay, and I went to Starbucks down the street so we could work on taxes, and I studied for my NASM. Afterwards, we ran to Whole Foods to grab some ingredients to make curry. I remember feeling frustrated because I couldn’t figure out a good recipe. The things that would irritate me seem so insignificant now. I wonder if I had known then what I know now, how my day would have been different. I wouldn’t have cared about fucking curry.

We came home that night and watched “Shameless.” My hubby started loving that show recently, and after a few episodes I finally warmed up. This is a ritual of ours, cuddling on our couch in our new living room in Denver with our puppies. Normal. Happy. In the middle of an episode, Clay took the dogs out to walk them, and I decided to head to bed. I was standing in the door of our bedroom when Clay walked back in, talking on the phone. I thought he was talking to his mom, then he said, “Yes, she’s right here.” He handed the phone to me, walked behind me and held me tight. I knew it was my mom calling, and I knew it was something bad. She wouldn’t have called Clay otherwise. She learned the hard way to make sure he was home when she delivered bad news about two years ago, when she called to tell me my beloved Uncle Tim had unexpectedly passed away. That day, Clay had recently left for a bachelor trip out of state, and I was all alone. So I knew something was wrong when she called him first. I took the phone, thinking something happened to one of our dogs. Then I thought maybe it was Dad. My mind was racing. “Mom? Is everything okay?” She was crying, and through her racking sobs she said, “No, Jenn. It’s not okay. Chris shot himself tonight.” My legs collapsed, and I started screaming. Looking back, I don’t know how our neighbors didn’t come pounding on our door. Unless someone you love has died, you can’t possibly imagine the gut-wrenching need to deny that what is being said to you is false. I kept screaming, “NO! NO! NO!” I refused to believe it. I handed the phone to Clay, brushed off my tears and kept saying he was fine. Chris was fine. My baby brother wouldn’t do anything like this. He loves me. He wouldn’t leave me like this. My buddy. My everything. It wasn’t fucking possible. But I knew it happened. It was our biggest fear.

I remember when my mom told me she was pregnant for a third time. It was 1991, and I was in the bath, I remember being super sad because I knew this meant she would have to leave. To put it lightly, I had major abandonment issues as a child (we ended up being adopted by my aunt and uncle-who my siblings and I all call “Mom” and “Dad” now, even though I still have contact with my real momma).  My real mom had been abused as a child, and even with one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever known, couldn’t raise us the way she wanted to.

I actually named Christopher. Mom asked me what his name should be, and I named him after a boy I had a crush on. Christopher James, after his father. CJ was born March 24th, 1992. I had a journal entry in my huge second-grade handwriting where I talked about the birth of my little brother. I wonder what happened to it. I can’t remember her pregnancy, but I do remember looking at CJ in his crib and realizing how much I loved him. He was so tiny, and all I wanted to do was hug, kiss and protect him. Whenever he would sleep in the rocker in the living room, I would put my finger under his nose to make sure he was breathing. I remember laying in bed at night listening to him cry, as my mom tried to soothe him, and being amazed how something so small could scream so loud. I’m not being biased when I say CJ was the world’s most adorable toddler. His son, Carter, looks identical. Chubby, rosy cheeks. One dimple. Big blue eyes. Long eyelashes. Blonde hair. A total cherub. I remember the first time he laughed-he had this blow up clown that was weighted at the bottom so when you punched it, it would pop back up. I was play-fighting it, and CJ just laughed and laughed. I felt like the world’s best big sister.

When I was 11, I moved in with my aunt Anika, uncle, Steve and cousin, Nikea (we now call them Mom, Dad and Sister). My brother and little sister, Bethany, would follow two years later. This was CJ’s cowboy phase. He loved all things cowboy, and had a fake gun he used to “draw” (one of my favorite pictures of him caught him doing this-I think this will be my next tattoo) and had some boots our mom bought him that he wore everywhere, along with his cowboy hat. He always had his Woody from “Toy Story” he carried around. He also had a tiny guitar he would strum out on our front porch, a blade of grass between his teeth, as his cowboy hat shaded his big blue eyes. I remember him crying at night from growing pains, and his little heart breaking when Mom had to shelve the boots since we believed they were causing his poor legs so much pain. He also ground his teeth at night. It was so loud I could hear it through the bedroom walls.

This was the time I was “sissy.” He called me his “sissy,” and I loved it so much. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, so I cherished it. This is also when he couldn’t pronounce “girl,” instead saying “gware.” And when my sister and I would get annoyed and tell him to shut up, he’d get SO mad and yell, “DON’T CALL ME SHUT UP!” I know these are all tiny weird details that most people who didn’t know him don’t care about, but these are the memories I cling to. My sweet, silly little brother.

As CJ got older, we saw more issues in his behavior. He was moody, and had a low frustration tolerance. He had such a huge heart, but like me suffered from depression. My parents always saw it, and did everything they could to help. Therapy. Medication. Letting him know how much they loved him. I had a conversation with him when he was in middle school, begging him to never hurt himself. He hadn’t ever mentioned self-harm, but this was around the time I had started cutting myself and didn’t want the same for my brother. I always had fears of him hurting himself. He cried during this talk, and promised he wouldn’t. But the reality was my brother suffered from what is called Reactive Attachment Disorder, due to our unstable childhood, or RAD. While I have side-stepped a lot of the issues that come along with such a diagnosis, I have always struggled with many of the same things as him. Fears of abandonment. Suicidal thoughts. Depression. Anxiety. I wanted to shelter my brother from all the issues I had. I didn’t want him to feel the way I did. One of life’s cruelest facts is that we can’t protect the ones we love. I tried. We all did. But I couldn’t protect my brother from himself, any more than he could protect me.

A few years back, CJ met a wonderful girl named Bailey who he ended up marrying. You could just see how much he loved her. They had Carter James. But this marriage wouldn’t last, and I think this, plus my brother’s depression and addiction, was too much. It wasn’t just one thing. It was so many things. My brother had hurt his entire life as a result of RAD. He had gotten addictive genes from both sides (his father was an alcoholic), and he tried so hard to stop drinking. We tried to get him to go to AA. When he was home over his birthday March 24th (I wasn’t able to come, which fucking breaks my heart), our grandpa came from Indiana to go to a meeting with him and share his own personal struggles with alcohol when he was a young man. We tried everything. I’ve read through my texts, gone over our conversations so many times, and I am so fucking grateful that I was there for him. I understood the darkness, having struggled with it, too. I told him continuously that I loved him, that we all loved him, that he was so strong, that he could get through this, that he had so much going on for him, that shitty times pass. His texts were so tortured, about how he hated himself, how he was tired of “EVERYTHING,” how he’d be better off dead. That one is the hardest to read. But I told him we needed him here with us, and nowhere else. I was so frustrated with him, that he couldn’t see how worthy of love he was. But I am so grateful I never let that frustration show. I’m so grateful. My one regret is not talking to him more. The last few months I was going through my own issues (financial and health crap), and withdrew from everyone. And I always had a fear he would break my heart. I was scared he would try to hurt himself, but thought a fear of death would keep him from trying anything permanent. I was more scared he would drink himself to liver failure, or run off and we wouldn’t know where he went. I should have told him every day how much I loved him, how much I needed him, that I was so grateful to have him as a little brother and that I cherished him more than anyone in the world. But I think he knew.

Anyone who has lost someone to suicide knows how you go over and over those final moments. It’s torture. But there are some things that have brought me, while I can’t say “relief,” something to hold on to. For one, he didn’t suffer. Two, I think he was so at peace when he ended his life. His text to my mom, sent shortly before, was very well thought out and coherent. My brother always said exactly what he was thinking. If he was feeling tortured it would have shown through that text. He was sober, clearheaded. He just told Mom what he planned to do, said to set up an education fund for Carter, and ended it with “I love you.” Mom said she would send me the text. I told her no. I can’t bear to read my brother’s final goodbye. I just can’t handle it. But I really believe he was feeling at peace because he knew it would be over soon. He would be in Heaven and his heart would cease to hurt. I also know he wasn’t alone for very long. He had texted a girl he was seeing (who I need to reach out to and thank for loving my brother), telling her his plans. She immediately called the cops and they headed over. So when my mom received her text from him and called the cops, they were already on their way. I’ve read horrible stories of loved ones laying alone for days on end. I’m so grateful my brother wasn’t alone for longer than a few minutes.

I believe in Heaven. I’ve had loved ones who have reached out in ways that are unmistakable, which I will talk about another time. And my brother is no different. I was in the kitchen the other day, and this warmth came over me. It’s so hard to describe, but I heard this, “Look after Mom.” It wasn’t an actual voice, but I know it was my brother. He was so protective of us, especially Mom. He wants me to make sure she’s okay. That’s Chris. Being the protector. Thinking about that moment makes me cry, but just because reminds me that he is still looking out for us.

I don’t know how to get through tonight. Or tomorrow. Or the next week. Or the next fucking sixty years. I head home Saturday (flights during the week were far too expensive), and although I’m so ready to be home I know it will make his loss all the more real. He won’t be there. I know I’ll be expecting to see his lanky frame walking in front of the windows as he approaches the front door. Dad is going to Minnesota to collect his things. He didn’t have much, which I’m grateful for. It’ll be hard enough to go through all his clothes. Mom said she can do it, but I need to help. I’m his big sister. And I’m absolutely dreading seeing his urn. They will ship it. It’s weird to think of my tall brother (he was 6 ft) in an urn. But I have to keep reminding myself that’s not him. Our bodies are not us. We are not our bodies, our emotions, our hurts, our brain chemistry. My brother’s soul is here with me now. THAT is him. But as I write this, I am trying to find out the name of the crematorium where he is so I can get some of his hair. And I’m so scared they will say it’s too late. Or that there was none left. I don’t know if I can handle that.

How do I go on? How do I keep breathing when the person I love the most is gone? In one text I found today, I promised him I would always love him and never abandon him. But he abandoned me. I’m not angry with him-I understand why he did it. And I rejoice knowing he no longer hurts and is happy and well taken care of. But he did leave me. His big sister. He didn’t even text me goodbye. I don’t know if that would have made it better or worse. Part of me hopes he wasn’t thinking of me while he sat on that couch. But I know he was.

Chris, I miss you. So much. I don’t know how to keep breathing. I know I have to, because I don’t have a choice. It’s not fair. Why do I have to keep living when you’re gone? I don’t know how to do this. I need you. I love you. I love you. I love you.