#this is exactly what I felt like that time i reread bsd

[wonder-and-wildflowers]

Alternate Universe HS Chuuya calling Dazai "Osamu" when they were young being so important to Dazai that he wrote it down and put it in a time capsule

....is not the craziest soukoku info thats ever dropped into my lap

but it blindsighted me nonetheless.

[this-is-krikkit]

Hello Kit 🤎

Long time no see but I am back in your ask box for your Fic Writer Ask Game! And I choose 1, 4 and 24

Friendly warning: I am going to send you at least one prompt within the next minutes 🤎

hey Livia, long time no see indeed! missed you, hope you're well ♥️

thank you for this ask and the others (man, you weren't kidding about that warning haha! i'll get right on those as well ♥️♥️)

1. the last sentence you wrote

this is from a yuri on ice fic i'm currently working on:

“I thought you said I could stay over whenever I want to, no questions asked,” Yurio challenges, the sharp and distinct —to someone who knows him well enough, anyway— apprehension in his voice tugging at Yuuri’s heartstrings with much more force than its normal trademark bite of half-performative anger. “Or did you not mean that?”

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

okay so i don't know if you watch bsd, but i've decided i'm going to write an AU for that in the universe of the sharp objects mini series from a few years back. they're both fucked up media with an obvious mental health issues fetish, so why the fuck not, right? no idea where exactly i want to take the plot though, it's veryyyy early stages of that fic-pregnancy.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

i always feel creative, what do you mean like blank page syndrom?? never met her, who is she??

more seriously, i try (it's hard, but i try really hard) to not focus on my writing at all. either i rewatch/reread canon material to remember i love these characters and don't actually want to strangle them to death because they won't write themselves the way i want them to, or i dive into a different fandom. sometimes, that doesn't help though, because the shittiness i feel about this hobby seems like it'll infect every other fandom like a disease, you know? so before it spreads, i cut myself off from anything related to fandoms and just... pick something else to do more (run some errands i'd put off, work on my thesis some more, bother my cats again, annoy my girlfriend for the umptieth time, go out with some friends...). when i was working, it helped that i was so busy i didn't really have time to think about it: if i felt creative during what little free time i had, i'd write, if not, i'd fucking catch some sleep before the next shift x)

✉️ send me some fic writer asks!

dividers source

[wolfgangie]

sigma, fyodor & dazai

Ngl i always felt like theres much more connection between dazai & sigma, also how sigma was born and who he really is? So yay were gonna talk about it today lalala, Oh yeah and im also gonna be calling out on fyodors bullshit /j

At exactly 20th December 2020, 22.10pm me and my dearest friend was talking about what/who sigma really is? While in that conversation i took it upon my self to reread the specific panel where fyodor talked to dazai about sigma. And at that specific time.. it hit me. I asked my friend

‘has dazai & sigma ever met before?’

Who is sigma?

here comes the tricky question

Who is he? Well its stated that sigma was born from the book 3 years ago.

Which made him have no past what so ever, he has no family no friends no home and because of that fyodor offered him all of that in exchange of him joining the decay of angels. Now there are some theories about who sigma is and my personal favorite theory

Is that sigma was based on the author who made the book ‘the decay of angels’ it will make a lot more sense if he did actually. Cause its unlikely that something made in bsd that was based out of real life authors… not be from the authors? 😟 + it really adds up the story on why fyodor views him very very high.

Well for starters sigma was born 3 years from that book, but theres also a theory where sigma was actually a real person that got their memory wiped. This would make much much more sense considering on how dazai actually knows.. him?

Dazai & sigma

This is really ironic but i found a few gaps in fyodors story that i might want to call him out on this one. I asked my friend has dazai & sigma met before in which she responded ‘i dont think so’.

So why did dazai chose sigma?

In this specific panel dazai chose sigma to participate along with him in the death game nikolai prepared.

Its obviously very very extremely weird that dazai would chose sigma out of a situation like this that revolves him and maybe the entire ADA on its own.

Now this is where i thought, what if dazai and sigma has met before..? It will make sense cause from this dazai would know sigma enough to trust him in the prison game. It is also stated that fyodor and dazai has met before right? Theres also a possibility that they have met before.

It will make total sense if they have, that would explain much more as well i mean it was really weird when dazai just randomly chose sigma.. right?

(Dazai that little shit is probably just pretending to not know who sigma is smh😕😕 /hj)

Fyodors story

Now this is very very very off & short. Honestly i thought about this cause in the beginning fyodor said that sigma is born from the book right? But he also stated later on that sigma has amnesia??

What amnesia tho?😭 sigma remembers his whole 3 years of life right? So wouldnt that mean he technically doesnt have amnesia? If he did that would support the theory that sigma is a real person who got his memory wiped.

Smh fyodor get ur story straight 😕

Conclusion

Okay my conclusion is… drum roll pleasee Basically sigma is probably a real person before and got his memory wiped and probably has met dazai before + fyodor is telling lies. I might be totally wrong in this tho, i seriously thought about this for a few minutes and started to rant about it to my friend. But honestly, i do believe in the theory that sigma is infact a real person and wether or not him and dazai has met before it will remain a mystery.

(heads up i might be completely wrong and this is just more like a ramble but i mean… YK feel free to ask 😭😭 But anyways yay have a great life <3 i found a lot of gaps in this one so im not 100% confident as well but 😭 i hope you get the idea of what im trying to go for)

theres also gonna be another part in this ! Which ill put here

[chuuyas--wine-bottle]

Soukoku + the word “hate”

After rereading 15 LN and watching the new episodes,  genuinely don’t think Soukoku hates each other. Yes sometimes I get baffled over the fact that, they perhaps genuinely hate each other which is mostly upon by seeing Soukoku hate blogs. Yes BONES, Asagiri, the economy of BSD and the Soukoku nation really feeds off on their interactions and bonds. But if we take a moment to break down the word “Hate”, the feeling that they have towards toward each other, it becomes something more than just hate. 

This is just a long ass analysis of some psychology for Soukoku, feel free to disagree but mayhaps I am slightly exhausted from seeing everything that is happening around Soukoku whenever we get crumbs ;(

Firstly, we know that hate is a strong word for something or someone that we dislike a lot. We hate the things that makes us uncomfortable, we hate what we don't know. We also know love, the opposite of hate like duh yes common sense right? But we love the things that makes us comfortable, we love the person that makes us happy, we love the things that makes us happy. You might be thinking that oh but you are trying to say hate and love are opposite side of a coin, well actually yes but no, not really. What I am trying to say is we don't hate or love anything, but we hate or love the situation that we are put in and then associate with someone or something that is close to us. So the linear model here is Situation given-> we process -> then we associate with something or someone we love. 

For example, the Soukoku nation was happy when the DA scene happened. The nation loved their interactions. Why? Because majority of the Soukoku stans are Chuuya or Dazai stan, we associated the given situation with someone who was close to us, we saw them saving each other, therefore we found relief, Soukoku as a couple or a team gives us comfort, in conclusion the situation given was the DA scene, we proceed it in our own ways, (eg positive processing )some did it just platonically. Then we associated with Chuuya and Dazai, individually or as a pair (them being safe together = we being happy and relieved. On contrary to this, we have the non shippers who really didn't liked the DA scene and thought it was a pitiful scene, even had opinions such as Wake up Call being a flawed OST. Now why was that? Simple! They did not like the given situation which was the DA Soukoku interaction (eg negative processing) and then they associated with their own favs, meaning they would have preferred much if it was Dazai and Jinko for example. 

That was an example. Now on to Soukoku. They don't hate each other, but they hate the situation given to them and they associated with each other and thus being in conflict majority of the time. The situation given here would be

From Dazai's perspective; it was Chuuya being the reason why he could not commit suicide back then since Mori paired him up, meaning he had to do works instead of just dying. He, with no doubts absolutely hated it. Meaning he processed this situation negatively considering he wanted anything but to die ASAP. Then when he associated the given situation with Chuuya, he started to hate Chuuya, but not Chuuya as in person; but the situation that tangled both of them together in an in-separation. It's the same with Chuuya. He disliked port mafia, the mafia always getting on his nerves almost as if. Then he was caught, was paired with this random bandaged lanky dude to work for the organization that he disliked. The given situation here was that his freedom was taken away from him, he was forced to do something under an organization that he disliked (not the word dislike, not hate), therefore he processed it, negatively like Dazai and then associated it with the latter. Which resulted into him hating Dazai, as in the situation that he was put together with the younger one rather than him as a person. 

So the conclusion we can draw is, they hated or felt too strongly towards the situation then associated with the person who they were close to (partners) and then ended up hating each other. But i genuinely doubt deep inside they FEEL that strongly against each other to keep on burning in the hate as the anti Soukoku blogs would put as. 

We also hate different things because we associate and process them in more than one way possible. We hate someone who can read and predict our actions since its just human nature that we want to stand and we are surely not pleased upon someone knowing us that well. We hate something that we don't know, we hate our fears, we hate someone if we see our own flaws in them etc etc. And all of this makes sence. Why you say? Because Dazai hating Chuuya because Chuuya could read him like an open book, that made him feel inferiror and most probably hurt his teen ego. Then he processed it negetively and ended up associating the sitution given with Chuuya and then hating. Same with other points, Dazai could see his own flaws and fears in Chuuya too, then again negetive processing and then associated with Chuuya. Its exactly the same with Chuuya. But it's simply hard to put it on words clearly since we barely know anything about Dazai's back story. 

Before you raise any questions; the circuit of love and hate are totally different in our brain however they share 2 similar strutures in between. Researchers like Semir Zeki and John Romaya's experiment on love and hate talks about it a lot. Hate is often considered to be an evil passion that should be tamed and controlled however to biologits it is almost an equal passion to love. Contradicting right? In this study when their participants were showed few images of the things they hate while in fMRI, they noticed a part in their brain being activated which they concluded as "Hate circuit" which was further away from the circuit that was activated when they saw a picture of something or someone that they loved. The subcortical activity involves two distinct structures, the putamen and insula. The former, which has been implicated in the perception of contempt and disgust, may also be part of the motor system that is mobilised to take action, since it is known to contain nerve cells that are active in phases preparatory to making a move.

Professor Zeki added: "Significantly, the putamen and insula are also both activated by romantic love. This is not surprising. The putamen could also be involved in the preparation of aggressive acts in a romantic context, as in situations when a rival presents a danger. Previous studies have suggested that the insula may be involved in responses to distressing stimuli, and the viewing of both a loved and a hated face may constitute such a distressing signal. "A marked difference in the cortical pattern produced by these two sentiments of love and hate is that, whereas with love large parts of the cerebral cortex associated with judgment and reasoning become de-activated, with hate only a small zone, located in the frontal cortex, becomes de-activated. This may seem surprising since hate can also be an all-consuming passion, just like love. But whereas in romantic love, the lover is often less critical and judgmental regarding the loved person, it is more likely that in the context of hate the hater may want to exercise judgment in calculating moves to harm, injure or otherwise extract revenge.

So we can technically say that Soukoku merely associates given situation with each other and are just slightly more critical with each other, but then we also witness parts such the port mafia onsen CD where Chuuya practically defends Dazai to Akutagawa or Dazai in BSD wan chiming about how much of a softie Chuuya actually is. 

[bungou-stray-dogs-indulgences]

Hello I'm so happy to see a new bsd imagines blog aa!! Can I ask for some headcanons for Akutagawa, Poe and Steinbeck with a sweet/shy so? Thank you and good luck on the blog!

Thank you for the warm welcome and lovely request!

Akutagawa Ryunosuke

Akutagawa is puzzled, to put it mildly, that someone as heart-warmingly caring and compassionate as you could ever fall for someone like him. He’s also baffled by the fact that someone as shy as you would ever try to strike up a relationship with someone as intimidating as him, but as long as you’re by his side, he won’t question it too much.

Often, you’ll unknowingly stir up Akutagawa’s jealousy. Even though you’re not the most bold person, so you don’t socialize a lot, your sunshiney kindness spreads to the people you do interact with. Whenever he notices you smiling brightly at another person, or happens to glance the latest birthday gift you’ve bought for a friend, he wishes, just a little bit, to be the only one you pay such attentions to. He realizes that you’re just wired to be an affectionate person, and he accepts that: it’s just that he’s wired to be a bit selfish, so he really can’t help but crave all of your love.

Akutagawa is ferociously protective of you. Considering you the one pure, sweet light in his life of darkness, Akutagawa would tear anyone limb-from-limb if they so much as dared to even glance at you. Since you’re a such a naturally sweet person, he fears that people might try to make a target out of you, leeching off of your tenderheartedness. Akutagawa keeps a watchful eye on those around you, ensuring no one preys on his lover.

Akutagawa is silently grateful that you’re shy. He really doesn’t want you poking into the lives of his coworkers, seeking friends in the people around him. He’s also relieved you don’t have a vast circle of friends yourself; the last thing he needs is ‘concerned’ buddies, sniffing into his background because they’re suspicious of him.

Edgar Allan Poe

Poe may be a genius, but there’s some riddles even he can’t solve. One of these is how you two ended up together. Your sweet nature befuddled the poor man; he wasn’t sure if you were actually interested in him, or if you were just showing him the same kindness that you extended to everyone else! Naturally, you were too shy to actually make your feelings clear, and that didn’t help resolve his doubts one bit. It took him a long time to stir up the courage to ask you out, as he was terrified of being rejected. Eventually, his bold side won out! (You’re very glad it did.)

When you two do go out, Poe clings to you like Velcro. While naturally, he doesn’t want to be away from you for very long anyway, he understands perfectly what it’s like to be stranded amid a cloud of strangers, nerves firmly blocking any chance of socialization. He never wants you to be stuck in a situation like that- completely alone in a room full of people- so he ensures he’s always by your side, whether it’s at a party you attend or the grocery store. You do the same for him, too!

Poe could gush for hours about how kind you are. Often, he’ll prattle on to Karl about the latest cute thing you’ve done. Occasionally, if he’s feeling particularly sociable and there’s a Guild member he trusts around, your sunny personality is the topic of conversation. When he doesn’t really feel like talking, he’ll praise you on paper; you’ve unknowingly inspired countless poems, just by being your sweet-natured self.

Often, when Poe’s down on himself, feeling like he’s not good enough, it’s your encouragement that cheers him up. Whenever he finds one of the Post-it notes you leave him, scrawled with a message like ‘You’re the best writer that ever lived!’ or ‘I adore you, Poe! XO’, his mood instantly soars. He keeps every single one of these notes, rereading them often. When you’re not around to brighten his day, these scribbles are what keeps him smiling.  

You and Poe spend many hours alone at home, just the two of you (and Karl, of course, but the raccoon’s a welcome companion). For Poe, the perfect date is a night lounging on the couch, giggling over inside jokes and snuggling all the worries of the world away, safe from the judgement of prying eyes.

  John Steinbeck

Steinbeck could strike up a conversation with a mime, so your shyness didn’t faze him one bit. From the moment he first met you (you bought him his morning coffee, and then blushed furiously when he confronted you about it; you’d just felt like brightening somebody’s day, you had insisted), he had decided you were going to be his, and nothing in the world was going to stop him.

Steinbeck loves to bring you to parties with him, intending to show off his endlessly amazing s/o to anyone and everyone there. Of course, your nerves often get the better of you when you see how many people are crowded at these gatherings, and your limited socializing skills go right down the drain. Steinbeck, however, knows exactly what to do; when you’re crawling back into your shell, he lays his charms on thick. Soon, he has you laughing along with everyone else, and you’re at least relaxed enough to enjoy the gathering.

He adores every warmhearted gesture from you, but sometimes, Steinbeck takes your sweetness as a challenge. Often with no warning, love letters listing everything he admires about you appear in odd places, your favorite flowers spontaneously bloom everywhere you go, and your boyfriend has an entire calendar crammed with romantic, inventive dates. It’s a little bit outrageous how far Steinbeck goes to not be outdone, but hey, as long as he’s pampering you, you’re not going to complain.

Knowing that you’re not the boldest in social situations, Steinbeck takes it upon himself to make sure you’re not being ignored, even if you’re not speaking much. He gets irrationally angry if someone talks over you, or brushes off your opinions, demanding that they listen to you (even though you assure him it’s not a big deal).

Even though he loves the color of your cheeks when you blush, Steinbeck does his best to make sure you’re comfortable. He dials back the PDA if he notices you’re tensing up, disliking the attention his flirting is drawing from strangers.