#this is first and foremost a thank you letter to the friends ive made here

[berryblu-soda]

been hesitating to post this bc i usually try to be super chill and upbeat, but im also trying to be more genuine, so here it is i guess (im doing okay, dont worry)

this probably warrants a trigger warning even tho nothing ever really happened :/

i´d like to thank from the bottom of my heart the friends ive made on this silly little site, i may be a almost a stranger to some of you, im not the greatest at keeping contact with anyone, but if i call you a friend its because you have very special a place in my heart <3<3<3

when i first made tumblr i was really struggling, it felt almost impossible to see anything lovable in myself, if it were up to my whims back then, i wouldve made myself poof out of existence, leave no trace behind. "Goodbye to that worthless piece of trash, everythings so much better without her"

it wasn´t that there was anything wrong at home, my family´s always been nothing but loving and caring to me, but i just struggled to understand *why* that was, i wasn´t contributing financially, functionally, nor did i excell at absolutely anything (looking back, i didn´t have to, i was literally 14) , everything id ever been remotely good at i knew someone who was better than me by a long shot. i didn´t have any irl friends, i had my cousins, but being family it felt a little like they were conditioned and obligated to love me because we were family

i felt alone despite being surrounded by people who loved me, i´d grown too used to it to recognize it as genuine love, so meeting you guys really helped me know that hey! maybe people arent just nice to me because they feel obligated to be! you guys inadvertedly gave me the support i needed to continue living life! And for that im endlessly grateful for <3

i can recall several times, when i was beating myself up over the simplest of mistakes, i genuinely didn´t want to exist if i wasn´t perfect, but when my spiraling got too bad and i´d even start to think of how i´d explain to yall that i´d finally given up on living, i´d start bawling my eyes out, beause I couldn't do that to yall, I still had messages to reply to, friends to wish happy birthday to... i would be devastated if any of you guys left and i couldn´t do anything to help you

so i made myself stick around, to hold on to whatever i could even if it consisted of numbing myself to the point of it being unhealthy. and ive lost years trying to get a grip and snap back to reality, but i made it! im happy these days, and i know no matter what happens im glad im still alive. And hey, maybe i´ll start digging myself into a pit again eventually, this post has been sitting in my drafts a couple weeks and in that time ive had some less than ideal days where i felt myself slipping into that old, sad, lonely, self deprecating mentality, but the difference between back then and now is that now i know i made it out of there once, and i know what´s real because ive already recognized it before, my family isnt lying to me when they say they love me, my fiends arent lying to me when they say they care about me, the only one whos lying to me is myself, saying im not worth any of that. 

so i´ll say it again, thank you friends, for existing and being there, for being my lifeline and not letting me go off the deep end, and acting as band aids for my emotional self-inflicted wounds, i´m not sure how i can ever pay you back, i´m here if you ever need me, i love you, please take care <3

[cilldaracailin]

A Kind of Magic

Hey everyone. I am back with the squeal to Under Pressure. This story is also on AO3 and can be found here:https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097855/chapters/58006354

Hope you all enjoy it :)

1

“Never stop just because you feel defeated. The journey to the other side is attainable only after great suffering.”

“Can I get you anything to drink sir?”

“Just some water would be great, thank you.”

Taron carefully took the small plastic cup from the air hostess and thanked her again as he put it gently down on his tray table, slotting his elbows back into the small space he had as he sat in the middle seat of row twenty-seven on the flight, taking a painful breathe in as sudden turbulence jolted him in his tiny seat.

Inhaling through his nose and then out of his mouth, he moved his body so it was slightly more comfortable in the hard seat, resting his head on the back of his chair. It was a breathing technique he had learnt less than a week ago and he had put it to use many times since he had stepped on the airplane and the reason why he was on the airplane was because of the person who had taught him that breathing technique he was using.

Robyn.

That letter she left for him in the hospital has caused an emotion Taron hadn’t expected to experience and that was loss. After another long sleep helped with medication, he woke only to remember once again that he didn’t get to talk to Robyn before she left and with all the time he had to sit and think in the hospital bed, the more Taron realised that he was not only hurt by the conversation that never happen but at a loss by her sudden departure. He recalled a chat they had had in the store about Robyn needing to take a flight home but with the nightmare they had been through, he really didn’t expect her to go so suddenly. In a day or two perhaps but not a few hours after they had been rescued from the 7/11. He knew she had her own injuries too and having experienced her level-headedness many times throughout their time together in the store, when she made the decision to take her flight, Taron really didn’t believe Robyn was thinking clearly.

His time in the hospital hadn’t been as relaxing as the doctor told him it would be. The decrease in his pain medication on the Sunday night, really brought to light how sore he was and although the pain didn’t compare to anything he felt while sitting in the 7/11, his body ached, stiff muscles and joints feeling the twinge once he was brought to his feet. After his full day of sleeping straight through on Saturday, thanks to the medication he was given, Taron then found it impossible to switch his mind off and spent his time dozing rather than deeply sleeping and any time he did manage to comfortably sleep, he was woken up by doctors on their rounds and nurses checking his IV line. Doctor Hart had come back to see him on Sunday afternoon and did another complete examination of him, and was so pleased with his assessment that he took Taron off the monitor that screened his vitals as well as the oxygen. He left him with his IV as Taron was still finding it difficult to eat anything more than a few bites, though he was pleased to see that this patient was drinking fluids. With some initial help from Ruth, Taron had also managed to be get up and walk a little by Sunday evening, and although his movements were slow, he felt less restricted and by Tuesday could smoothly walk around and had walked as comfortably as he could with his injuries down to the hospital coffee shop with Richard.

Richard, who had to fly back to Chicago on Tuesday afternoon to finish filming, had come to visit him on the Sunday morning as he had promised the day before, bringing with him some clothes so Taron could get out of the hospital gown and change into more comfy sweatpants and a t-shirt and stayed with Taron to be his moral support as he made two important phone calls, one more so than the other.

First was his mam and he wasn’t afraid to admit that as soon as he heard her voice, he broke down and cried, his mam being the one to comfort him instead of the other way around, as it was his plan to reassure her because he knew she would have been worried sick at hearing he was in the hospital.

“Taron, love it’s ok.” Soothed Tina as she heard her son break down in a sob, that cut her to the core, even more so when she couldn’t be there to hug him. “Richard and Robyn have both spoken to me and I know everything love. I know what has happened and that you will be ok.”

It took a few minutes before Taron could actually get any words out and speak to his mam and once he started talking he couldn’t stop, needing to get everything that happened off his chest, his mam listening to every word and interrupting when needed to comfort her son. “It was so frightening mam. I have never felt a pain like it before and there was just blood everywhere.”

“I can only imagine Taron.”

“It was just so easy for that man to shoot off a gun and not think twice.”

“There are some idiots out there but you can’t focus on what happened in the 7/11. You need to look at the positives and the first one I can think of, is that you are here, alive and talking to me.”

“Mam I don’t even remember most of what happened to be honest. There are moments that are completely blank for me.”

“And that is why I am so relieved Robyn was there Taron. I can’t even bare to think about what would have happened to you if she wasn’t there.” It was Richard who had explained to Taron’s mam about how he was given CPR in the store, as per Robyn’s instructions in the letter she had left him, making sure Tina knew how quickly he was revived, more importantly how Taron was going to make a full recovery with no complications and it was information that had really shaken her, knowing she had nearly lost her son. Tina understood so much better now why Robyn had left out so many details of what had happened in the 7/11 when she had called her, the young woman knowing it was only when Tina spoke to her son for herself that she would believe he was ok.

Tina heard her son go quiet very quickly once she mentioned Robyn. “Taron? Taron what’s wrong.”

“Robyn’s gone mam.” He answered quietly.

“Wait, what do you mean gone? I was only speaking to her yesterday.”

“She has gone home. Back to Ireland.”

It was hard for Taron to explain why Robyn left because he didn’t know the answer and it was a surprise that was echoed in his mam’s reaction too. “I don’t understand Taron. She just went home?” Once Richard had spoken to Tina and actually explained what had happened in the 7/11, Tina was desperate to speak to the young woman who had saved her son’s life, particularly when the way she explained what she did for Taron as ‘simple first aid’ was nowhere near the truth. “I really wanted to, well no, I needed to speak to her again.”

“You and me both mam. She just left me a letter explaining that she was sorry and she had to go home.”

“Oh, Taron love.”

The conversation with his mam lasted nearly an hour and then another half hour while he spoke to his sisters, all of them finding it hard to say goodbye to each other, Taron needing another emotional pep talk from his family as tears quickly came to his eyes again as they said goodbye.

His second phone call was to Matthew, his director, who appeared in his hospital room on the Monday morning during visiting hours.

“Jesus Taron.” Was his first reaction when he walked into the room, seeing Taron on his feet as he walked back from the bathroom, wheeling his IV with him as he moved.

“Good to see you too Matthew.” Taron cringed as he sat on the bed. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Well I heard my lead actor had an accident. You look like absolute shit.”

“You didn’t need to fly out here.”

“Yes, I did. You are my friend first and foremost and I wanted to come and see you. Make sure you are ok.”

“I am going to be ok. I can actually walk by myself today and it hurts less to move”

“I’ve heard your look of lying on the floor of the 7/11 was worse than this.” Matthew sat on the chair beside the bed.

“I’ll live.” Replied Taron as he eased himself back onto the pillows behind his back.

“I have also heard rumours that you nearly didn’t.” Taron looked to his director from under his eye lashes. “So, it is true. Isn’t that something you think you should tell me.”

“Who were you talking too? My mam?”

“No Richard. I called him when you were quite sparse with the details of what had actually happened in the store. Why didn’t you bloody tell me you were given CPR Taron.”

“It’s not something I really like to talk about. It’s not good to dwell on the fact that you died for a minute.”

“Ahh shit Taron.” Taron couldn’t meet his eye. “What happened?”

“The doctor told me that the combination of all the injuries I had sustained and sitting in the store for over nine hours with no pain relief just caused my body to shut down.”

“Jesus Taron.” Matthew had no idea Taron had been through such horrific trauma. “The paramedics gave you CPR?”

He took his head. “There was a girl, well a woman… Robyn and she gave me CPR. Got me back breathing in under a minute.” Matthew sat back in his chair, running a hand over his face. “I am going to be ok. All my tests and results came back clear and the doctor is really happy with my recovery so far, quicker than he expected too. I have been up and walking around the ward and they plan on taking my IV out tomorrow. I was told I will be sore and tender for a few weeks and need to take it really easy.”

“CPR Taron, Jesus Christ. How did she not break your ribs?”

Taron shrugged his shoulders, regretting the simple movement as his left hand went to his right arm to soothe the twinge he felt from the wound there. “Doctor Hart was left puzzled too but it doesn’t mean she didn’t go hard.” Taron pulled up his grey t-shirt letting Matthew see the palm shaped bruises on the middle of his chest. “She went hard.” Repeated Taron as he pulled his t-shirt back down. It wasn’t until Taron took a shower that morning, one that was badly needed, that he saw the bruises on his chest from Robyn’s hands, bruises that hit home to him, just how important Robyn’s actions were. If Taron’s chest was sensitive and uncomfortable, he could only imagine the state of Robyn’s hands.

“She saved your life.” Taron nodded, his hand resting on his chest. “Well where is this woman. I would very much like to meet her.”

Taron lay back in the bed really not wanting to have this conversation again but with a calming breathe, he began to relay the story of ‘Robyn’.

Matthew left Taron with a hug and assurance that the filming of the movie had been suspended until Taron was back to full health and it was the way it was going to be, no matter how much Taron protested over it.

“Excuse me can I just get past you please? I need to stretch my legs.”

Taron was pulled from his memories and looked to the man sitting to his left. The downside to sitting in the middle of the row at the window, was having to move every time the passenger next to him needed to leave the seat and this was the third time since they had left the airport in South Carolina that the passenger to his right had wanted to get out of their seat. Gritting his teeth, Taron lifted his plastic cup of water, drank it down in one and then clicked his table back in and gingerly getting to his feet as his ribs protested at the quick movement, slid out of the row and into the aisle, allowing the customer to exit the row.

“Thank you.”

Taron gave him a nod and turned to the other passenger in the row. “I think I will have a stretch too.” He said using it as an excuse at not having to sit back down and then having to get back up again. He didn’t think he would able to hold in the groan if he had to get up and down twice in the space of five minutes and with his body already objecting to sitting so straight and so still for the last two hours, he thought maybe a walk would loosen his tight muscles.

Pulling his hat further down on his head he started to take slow steps down the skinny aisle. It was an overnight flight and the majority of the passengers on the flight were asleep, taking advantage of the low lighting and hum of the plane. Taron hadn’t properly slept in the last five days and couldn’t help but feel jealous of those who easily slumbered in their seat. It was actually his third flight and thankfully his last one before he landed in Dublin and the late-night flight would have him in Ireland at eight fifty am on Thursday morning.

However, it hadn’t been so easy as hopping on a plane. He had to fight his case with Doctor Hart to be discharged from the hospital four days earlier than planned.

“No Taron. Absolutely not.”

“Please just listen to me.”

“No Taron.”

“You told me that if I listen to the nurses and walk around you would discharge me.”

“Yes, at the end of the week, not today Tuesday. End of the week, Friday, probably even Saturday.”

Taron followed the doctor out of the door his room and to the nurse’s station. “I am not asking to be discharged today.” He said as the doctor stopped at the desk where Ruth was sitting. “I am asking to be discharged tomorrow.”

“For goodness sake Taron, are you trying to end up back in the hospital? You have only just come off the IV line.”

“I promise I will rest and take it easy but I need to go. I need to leave the hospital and I can’t do that until you discharge me.”

“And I am not going to do that Taron. I am sorry but even with your quick recovery, I won’t risk it.”

“Then write on the fucking papers that I understand the risks and let me go!” Shouted Taron, running his hands frustratedly through his hair, wincing as he brushed the dressing on his forehead.

“Taron…” Ruth stood up. “Hey, take it easy.”

Letting a sigh leave his lips, Taron looked to the Doctor. “I am sorry.” He said. “I am really sorry but I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t sit in that bloody room with my thoughts. I need to leave.”

“Taron, it’s four more days.” Replied the doctor. “I really want to be sure that you are not carrying any secondary injuries.”

“You told me I was clear on Sunday. You said you were amazed at how I had gotten to my feet so quickly, at how I adapted to the change in my pain relief.”

“And I am.”

“Then please let me go.” Begged Taron.

“Why are you so desperate to leave the hospital?”

“Robyn.” Answered Taron simply.

“Robyn? Sorry Taron you are going to have to explain that a bit better to me.”

He pulled the letter from the pocket of his sweatpants and pulled down the neck of his t-shirt. “These are the only two things I have from Robyn. A letter and some bruises. I cannot explain it, I don’t know how to explain it but all I know is that I feel empty, hurt and at a loss that this is all I have from the person who saved my life with no way to contact her.”

“You also have your life.” Chipped in Ruth. “You said you only have two things, but you have three. The letter, the bruises and your life.”

Doctor Hart looked impatiently to Ruth who shrugged her shoulders at him. “I don’t understand what any of this has to do with me discharging you early.”

“Ooh are we having a staff meeting?” Doctor Keane walked up. She was completing her rounds, when she heard raised voices at the nurse’s station and recognising one of those voices as Doctor Hart, went to see what was going on. She was surprised to see his patient standing beside him, looking frustrated and upset, even more surprised to see Taron on his feet as the last time she saw him, he was almost writhing in pain. “Hey Taron, it is good to see you on your feet. You look really well. Really well actually. What’s going on? Are you trying to raid the nurse’s chocolates?”

“He is asking to be discharged.” Scoffed Doctor Hart.

“What? Taron?”

“Robyn left.” Taron turned to the new doctor. “I mean the woman who…”

“… Gave you CPR. Yeah, I know her. I stitched her up.”

Taron had to double take. “You stitched her up.”

“Well yeah. I popped two stitches in her shoulder and examined her when you all came in from the 7/11.” Phoebe watched as the Taron’s eyes widened in surprise. “But you wouldn’t know any of this because she left and went home. Did you even get to see her before she left?” She watched as Taron shook his head, causing her to move forward and place a hand on his shoulder. “She took her flight home, didn’t she?” Taron nodded again, feeling that sadness he had been trying to keep at bay creeping into him. “Please tell me you are not going after her.” She was met with watery tired green eyes. “Taron…”

“Don’t.” He said talking two steps backwards so her hand fell from his shoulder. “Don’t ‘Taron’ me. I am not ashamed to say that I was shit scared in that 7/11 and there was one person there keeping me calm and together and that was Robyn. She never panicked. She never showed an ounce of fear and she didn’t think twice to helping when I was caught under that shelving unit. She held my hand for near five hours straight and she only let go to find a way, that I have learnt since, that risked her life so she could save mine and then she undertook something that I can’t even begin to comprehend because it causes my chest to tighten up and my stomach to turn and I haven’t been able to talk through my daunting emotions because the one person I needed desperately to talk to left. I am not going to go and do something stupid. I am not going back to work. I am going to go and find her; I need to find her.” The two doctors and the nurse watched as Taron took two breathes and closed his eyes as he tried to settle his emotions. “I cannot wait until Saturday.” He said his hands rubbing his eyes as he wiped unfallen tears away.

Doctor Keane looked to Ruth. “You got a spare chair back there Ruth.” The nurse nodded and the doctor walked around the desk of the nurse’s station and wheeled the chair around behind Taron. “Will you sit for me?” She asked him and held onto the chair as he carefully lowered himself into the soft leather, his head going straight into his hands, a wince filling his features with the movement. Phoebe could see the young man in front of her starting to crumble and she was nervous about him standing, much more comfortable when he was sitting down.

“Taron, look at me.” Doctor Keane knelt in front of him, placing two hands on his knees, feeling his legs shaking under her touch.

“Phoebe…” Started Doctor Hart but he stopped when he saw the look on Phoebe’s face. It was one he was used to seeing from his colleague when she was displeased.

“Taron, sweetheart, look at me.” Beautiful green eyes which were laden with grief and pain unwillingly looked at her. “Why do you need leave the hospital today? Why can’t you wait until Saturday? You know you were seriously hurt and although you are up and walking about and might feel a lot better than you did three days ago, your body is still healing and when we ask you to stay in the hospital, it is for a reason.”

“You looked after Robyn?” Asked Taron looking at the doctor and when she nodded, he continued. “Did she speak to you about what had happened?”

“To be honest, not really. I kind of had to drag it out of her. She was battling with a lot of emotions.”

“So after speaking with her, you can understand how I am feeing right now but the one person who properly understands what I am going through, the one person I needed to talk to and see when I woke up was gone and all that was left was a letter. I know you are all trained professionals and you have all taken such great care of me and helped me and I am so thankful to you all but please realise it is Robyn I am indebted too. It is Robyn’s solid presence I crave so I can get these building emotions under control because I feel like I am going to burst and as much as I need Robyn, it seems like she needs too. Richard and I have had the chance to talk about what has happened, but who has Robyn spoken too? I know we are strangers but I learnt one thing about Robyn as we were pushed together in such a horrific situation and that is, she is very stubborn.”

“Well that is something we can agree on. Robyn is a very determined young woman.”

Taron looked to the doctor. “I was breaking through those walls. She let me help her and I can’t explain how she helped me. I can’t form the words to describe what she did for me and if I am feeling so shaken and almost traumatised by what happened to us, imagine what Robyn is feeling. I need to talk to her. I need to see her. I just can’t wait until Saturday.” Taron placed his head into his hands again, trying to stop himself from breaking down in a flood of tears.

Doctor Keane turned to look at Doctor Hart and giving Taron’s knee a squeeze stood up and looked to Ruth who moved from her place at the nurse’s station to stand beside Taron as his body started to shake with effort he had just made to fight his case. It had taken a lot of energy which he didn’t have.

“No Phoebe. Don’t even start defending him. He is my patient.”

“And Robyn was mine.”

“She was nowhere as badly hurt as Taron was.”

“I don’t think that is something you can prove Steve. Just because Taron’s injuries are more visual than Robyn’s.”

“He was shot with a bullet.”

“And she gave him the CPR that saved his life and we both know it is the person who performs the CPR that is affected more and before the CPR came into play, wasn’t it Robyn who cleaned Taron up and stopped him from panicking. It would have been a very different outcome if she wasn’t there.”

“I understand all that Phoebe and I have met Robyn and saw that she was very vital to Taron’s condition when he arrived at the hospital. I saw her talk to him kindly before I brought him to the CT scan and believe me I know how she saved his life, I examined him but I just don’t feel comfortable letting him leave the hospital only four days after he was admitted, a day after coming off an IV line.”

“Steve, he’s not going to go and do anything reckless. He just wants to go and see the girl who saved his life. Don’t you agree with him when he says Robyn is the only one who understands what he has been through?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then shouldn’t we give them both the opportunity to heal their mental health too?”

“She chose to leave.”

“It wasn’t as easy as that for Robyn. Believe me. Her emotions were very raw too, just like Taron’s and while at the time she saw Taron as her responsibly, once he was in the hospital being cared for, she had her own responsibilities to think about and being a very sensible adult, she made a decision that was extremely hard for her. I have no doubt in my mind that Robyn wouldn’t have left if she didn’t have too.” Phoebe took Steve’s elbow and led him down the corridor a little. “They need to talk this through with each other. If he arrives at her door, do you honestly think she is going to turn him away?”

“He needs rest, not a reunion.”

“I am sure you have gathered by now that Taron is not from here and is working here, work that I am sure has been postponed until he is fully fit. He is not going to stay in America to rest, he will want to go home so he is going to have to take a flight where he will more than likely go to his apartment or house and be by himself…”

“… Or to his family.”

“Who have no idea what he is going through and I would like to point out that you have not argued with me on the ‘flight’ part of that sentence.” Doctor Keane continued before Doctor Hart could protest. “Surely he would be better off going to see the person he has been connected with in the most unusual way possible. There is no one else who Taron can talk to about this and I know for a fact, seeing as how I was the doctor who looked after Robyn that she desperately needs someone to talk to as well and that person should be Taron.”

“He wants to leave tomorrow Phoebe.”

“And?”

“And he has sustained some serious injuries.”

“And?”

“Phoebe!”

“For a man who has been shot, technically died and been through so much stress and anxiety in the last four days, he is still pretty resilient and you and I both know he will not give up that easily and as I speak, he proves my point. Here he comes.”

Taron couldn’t hear the conversation that was going on once the two doctors had moved away from him so even though Ruth tried to stop him, he got up from the chair and walked over to them.

“Look I am sorry for causing a fuss over this. I really don’t mean too. I just… I can’t… I don’t…” Taron stopped and took a shaky breath as he tried to think of what to say, taking another as words failed him. “The hurt, more than the physical hurt, is indescribable and intense and the only person who is going to help me get through this is Robyn and I truly believe that I can help her too. I promise I am not going to do anything that is more than getting a flight, seeing Robyn and sleeping a lot.”

Taron didn’t know if it was the private chat from the second doctor or his pleading but Doctor Hart agreed to discharge him the next day, with strict instructions that he was to rest, take the medication he was to be prescribed and if he felt faint, dizzy or short of breathe he had to go to the local doctor at once.

“Can I ask a favour though?” Chanced Taron talking more to the doctor who had looked after Robyn, feeling it was because of her that Doctor Hart had agreed to sign his discharge papers early. “I don’t know where she lives. I don’t even know her surname. Is there any way you can give me her address from the medical forms she had to fill in please? Or even a surname and I can try and find her myself.”

“That’s some serious breach of doctor and patient confidentially Taron.” Smiled Doctor Keane but without a second thought, walked to the nurse’s station and pulled out Robyn’s file. “Robyn Quinn, Poplar Road, Kilcreen, Co Kildare, Ireland.” She enjoyed the genuine smile that lit up his handsome features as she read out Robyn’s address to him and the unexpected hug he walked around the nurse’s station to give her too.

“You must promise me that you will look after yourself and Robyn too.” She said as she gently hugged him back.

Taron thought he was going to have a tougher battle on his hands when he called his mam to tell her that he wasn’t actually going home to Wales but rather to Ireland but Tina, who desperately wanted to see her son and hug him tight, supported his decision completely.

“Do not apologise to me Taron. Of course, you know I would rather you came home but I also understand this is something you have to do. You need to mentally heal after what you have been through and as much I would love to be that person to help you do that, I know it can’t be and I agree with you, Robyn needs this as much as you do.”

It was his mam who helped him to book the flights over the phone there and then but unfortunately as it was coming to the end of the summer season and most flights were fully booked, the only way to get to Ireland was by taking three flights. One from Tampa to Orlando, Orlando to South Carolina and then South Carolina to Dublin. It was a trip that would take about twenty hours with layovers included but it was his quickest option to get to Robyn so he took it without question.

Richard had already dropped his duffle bag off to him when they had said goodbye to each other Tuesday afternoon, Richards own work commitments meaning he had to leave his friend and Taron was so thankful for Richard when he opened the bag to see brand new t-shirts and jeans in his duffle as well as a peaked hat, some hoodies and a packet of turtles. Taron had only packed shorts and light t-shirts for the weather in Florida. He had already confessed to Richard that he was planning to go and find Robyn when they had a coffee yesterday morning and instead of telling his friend he was stupid, Richard told him he would bring his bag to him, filling it with new clothes, giving him a very supportive hug before he left.

Taron passed by the air hostesses as he walked down the aisle, giving them a smile as he kept going towards the front of the plane, the walking helping a little to relax tired muscles. With the flight being booked so last minute, Taron could only take whatever seat was available to him. He wasn’t bothered by travelling first class or anything like that but really would have liked to have gotten a window seat for the longer flight to Dublin but unfortunately was stuck in the middle for each flight and it was hard having no space either side of him to stretch or move a little and sitting in the middle meant there was not a chance of getting some sleep. He was thinking about using his table as a pillow but figured he would end up regretting staying in that position for too long, so he sat with his hat pulled down low, his eyes closed. He had already taken his pain killer before he got on the plane and it was helping to take the edge of the more severe pain he felt but as he walked up the aisle, each step caused a ripple of discomfort through his side and head.

Taron turned and started to walk back down toward the back of the plane and his seat. Right now, he may have been on the plane on his way to Ireland, but once he got there, he was at a loss of what to do next. It was a rush of booking flights, getting prescriptions filled and completing final examinations so Doctor Hart was absolutely sure he was happy to discharge Taron and he had left the hospital just before six that morning to get to the airport so once he got off the plane in Dublin, he actually didn’t have a plan for what to do next.

He had Robyn’s name and address and that was it and would figure out the rest when he landed. He reached his seat and apologised as the passenger at the end who had to get up to let him back into his seat which he carefully shuffled into, easing himself down. He clicked his seatbelt back in and leaned his head against the chair, closing his eyes and ignored the butterflies in his stomach.

[moczothe1st]

Let’s Play Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War, Part 11: A Little Pegassistance

Part 10

Welcome back to Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War.  The only game that is also a secret government idiot-detector; unfortunately it can only detect the idiots in its own script.  

When we left our heroes, they had officially been declared murderous traitors by a pair of men who look like, respectively, a blood-crazed Viking and a parody of a Nazi colonel, thus proving that people in Jugdral genetically have no ability to judge character by sight. Fortunately, Lewyn’s mom, the Queen of Silesse, offered us sanctuary in her own country, and we escaped. Let’s see how that goes!

Sigurd is now a traitor in the eyes of his beloved Grannvale. In desperation, his army flees to find refuge in the northern kingdom of Silesse.

Silesse was founded by the Wind Crusader, Ced. It lies under the watchful guard of valiant pegasus knights and wind mages, and for over a century since its foundation has maintained itself as a neutral nation and resisted all invaders. However, since the death of its king several years ago, the royal family has been plagued with strife over its inheritance and shades of war creep over the peaceful land.   

(You may have heard of him.)

and has confined himself to Zaxon Castle in protest.

has set to work raising an army for himself as Thove Castle. Out of disgust at his uncles, Prince Lewyn left Silesse to travel the world years ago.  

(“Rather than killing them both, which he could have done with his eyes closed.”)

Is there no end to the dukes’ avarice? Their lust for power will condemn Silesse, a beautiful and majestic land, to the searing ravages of a brutal war.

(Sigurd! She’s a queen, even if her sprite is just a recolor of that lady who gave Lex his Brave Axe. It’s ‘your majesty’.)

Rahna: I know Sailane is perhaps too small to house all of you adequately, and I’m sorry. But please, bear with me a while longer. I’m doing all I can to hasten your liberty. I’ve sent letter after letter to Belhalla to advocate for your innocence. As of yet, however, I’ve still heard nothing at all from King Azmur.

Sigurd: This… this has to be Reptor’s doing! First he betrays my father, and now he’s stopping your emissaries! He must be!

(Sigurd Logic Moments: 2! He’s growing!)

Rahna: Calm yourself, Lord Sigurd. I know well the pain you’re feeling, but you cannot let your grudges rule you. Your anger will not save your father. Hatred will only destroy you from within. I swear to you, we can and will find a way to set this right, but you must be patient.

Sigurd: You’re right… I’m sorry, your highness. I really appreciate all you’ve done for me.

Rahna: It’s alright, Lord Sigurd. Oh, before I forget… there actually has been some good news from Grannvale of late.

Sigurd: Good news, you say?

Rahna: A previously unknown daughter of Prince Kurth has been discovered. All of Grannvale is rejoicing at the news.

Sigurd: What?! Is that even possible?

(… Well you see, Sigurd, when a prince loves another man’s wife very much, he puts his royal sword into her Loptyrian cloak, and…)

Rahna: It took King Azmur only a glance to recognize her true heritage. She bears the Brand of Naga, the proof of a true heir to House Belhalla. There is no doubt, she is Kurth’s child.

Sigurd: I see… thank goodness. At the very least, this means the royal lineage won’t go extinct.

(“And if I had been paying even the slightest attention to the backstory, I’d know that’s my wife!”)

Rahna: That’s not all. The princess and Duke Arvis are in a relationship. King Azmur has given his blessing, and a magnificent wedding will soon be held.

(EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW-)

Sigurd: Arvis? Really?

Rahna: All who’ve seen the happy couple eagerly attest that this beautiful princess and Duke Arvis are perfectly matched. To say nothing of how happy the couple is said to be! Young love is wonderful, isn’t it?

(EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW-)

Rahna: … Oh, Lord Sigurd, I’m so sorry. I forgot. Your wife is still-

Sigurd: Deirdre… my wife’s still gone, yes… it’s been over a year since she vanished. She’s missed an entire year of watching Seliph grow up.

Rahna: I’m so sorry, Lord Sigurd, but be of good cheer. I know you’ll reunite someday.  

Sigurd: You’re right. I feel it, too. I can’t give in to sorrow yet. I can’t give up on finding her.

Rahna: Ah, of course. I’ll be with you in a moment. Lord Sigurd, one last thing… beware Duke Maios of Thove. I regret to say my brother-in-law has long hungered to claim Sailane for himself. It’s only a matter of time until he goes so far as attacking you. I wish I could provide you with reinforcements, but…

Sigurd: I know. The capital is under the very same threat from Duke Daccar of Zaxon. You cannot afford to weaken your own guard.  Daccar would pounce upon you given even a hint of weakness. Don’t worry, Your Highness. There’s nothing the Thove army can throw at us that we can’t handle.

Rahna: Ah, of course. I should be more confident in such veteran heroes as yourselves. … Oh! I’ve been talking for so long, I lost track of the time. Take care, Lord Sigurd.

Sigurd: You, too, Your Highness. Thank you.

Lewyn: You just chatted for hours and hours with Sigurd, yet you can’t even acknowledge your own son?

Rahna: My son? The one who abandoned me two years ago, going gods know where? How do I talk to someone who’s clearly not here?

Lewyn: Heh… so this is how it’s going to be. You’re still made at me, then?

Rahna: Of course I am!  Do you have any idea how hard it was without you, and how worried I’ve been after you? That my own son could be so cold-hearted… I thought I knew you better than this.

Lewyn: Look, I know you’re upset, but I had my reasons for all this.

(“They were bad, but I had them.”)

Lewyn: But come now, I’m home safely! Surely that counts for something and you can forgive me? I swear I’ll make up for it and be the very picture of a good son. Hew, how about I give you a shoulder massage to start.

Rahna: Oh! What nerve, treating me as if I’m an old crone! Look, Lewyn, there are more pressing matters we need to discuss, and soon. Come to Silesse as soon as possible. Do not forget! Do I make myself clear?

Lewyn: … Sigh. I thought she’d never stop.

Mahnya: Indeed, she hasn’t been anything as lively as this since before you left.

Lewyn: Thanks, Mahnya. Knowing you’re at her side is a big relief. Look after her, okay?

Mahnya: Yes, sir! Rest assured, I will protect the queen with my life, on my honor as the captain of the Silessian Pegasus knights.

Lewyn: Thanks… oh, and one more thing. Are you gonna leave Erin here with Sigurd?

Mahnya: Oh. Eavesdropping, were you Erin?

Erin: You were about to tell him too much, so…

Mahnya: Ah. My apologies, Erin. There are things he shouldn’t know just yet, of course… Erin, I’ll be leaving with Queen Rahna and returning to Silesse Castle shortly.

(JUST SHUT UP AND GO)

Mahnya: You’ll stay here and keep an eye on Prince Lewyn. Best of luck.

Erin: Thank you, Mahnya.  

(… What?!  No! Don’t leave!)

Quan: Rest assured, we’ll be back, leading the full military might of Leonster to your aid. May that day come soon, my friend.

(I don’t need them! Finn is about to promote and you’re a godlike shatterer of men! Forget the army and just stay! AT LEAST LEAVE THE SPEAR!)

Ethlyn: I’m going with Quan, Sigurd. Don’t worry, though. We’ll be back before you know it! Take care of yourself.  

(… eh, don’t feel the need to rush.)

Finn: By your leave, sir, I’ll be departing with my lord. Thank you for all you’ve done for us. Don’t give up, sir. I know the charges against you will be cleared and your good name restored. I know you can do this.

(*sob*)

Sigurd: Thank you. You’ve got quite the journey back to Leonster ahead of you. I wish I could do more to help you on your way. May your journey be a safe one!

And there goes two units I will sorely miss for this map.  Also Ethlyn.

You know, this world would be a lot safer if people stopped decorating their castles in red.

Maios: Very well, relay my orders to Cuvuli: Move in on Sailane! Dithorba, I trust your pegasus corps are already briefed on their mission?

Dithorba: Yes, sir. Our task is clear. My squadron is to raid the enemy from above, disrupting their tactics.

Maois: Good. Now get to work! Grannvale will owe us a handsome reward for bringing them the heads of their infamous traitors!

And here we go.  First and foremost, of course:

Mmmmmmm. Normally I would say Aideen is not  combat unit material regardless of promotion, but her levels this run have been so great she actually is. Her magic in particular is so bonkers she’ll be nuking fools with the most basic of tomes now that she can fight; I have her buy a thunder tome from the armory and prep her for the arena. (Oh, and Alec is joining Noish on the sidelines. He’s not very good, and experience is best shared among the increasingly awesome super killers I’ve assembled.)

Sigurd: 7 wins, gained two levels: +2 HP, +1 Strength, +2 Speed

Arden: 4 wins, Gained two levels: +2 HP, +1 Strength, +1 Defense

Lex: 6 wins, Gained three levels: +2HP, +1 Skill, +3 Strength

Azel: 7 wins, gained three levels: +3 HP, +3 Magic,

Aideen: 5 wins, Gained two levels: +2 HP, +1 Skill, +1 Speed, +1 Magic, +2 Luck, +1 Defense

Midir: 2 wins, a new low. No levels.

Holyn: 7 wins, Gained two levels, +2HP, +2 Skill, +2 Strength, +1 Magic

Ayra: 7 wins, Gained two levels: +2 HP, +1 Strength, +1 Luck, +2 Defense

Jamke: 7 wins, Gained two levels: +2 HP, +1 Strength, +2 Defense

Dew: 7 wins, Gained five levels, +3 HP, +3 Skill, +1 Strength, +1 Magic, +3 Luck, +2 Defense

Lewyn: 7 wins, gained three levels: +3 HP, +3 Skill, +2 Magic, +1 Luck, +1 Defense

Lachesis: 7 wins, Gained six levels: +3  HP, +3  Skill, +4 Strength, +2 Speed, +4 Luck, +1 Defense

Beowulf: 2 wins, what did you do, eat some of Midir’s loser pills? Gained no levels.

Erin: 7 wins, gained five levels: +4 HP, + 1 Skill, +1 Strength, +3 Speed, +2 Magic, +1 Luck, +1 Defense, +1 Resistance

Bridget: 7 wins, gained three levels: +2 HP, +1 Magic, +3 Luck, +1 Defense, +1 Resistance

Taillte: 7 wins, Gained three levels: +1 HP, +2 Skill, +1 Speed, +1 Magic, +1 Luck, +1 Defense

Claude: 1 win. He is no Aideen, to be blunt.

Wait, you say. Seven wins… for DEW?! Well, see, in among those arena wins, we also had much better stuff:

BEHOLD MY PEERLESS ARMY!  

Oh, man, I’ve been watching them all languish in the teens waiting for this; the Paragon Band switched hands several times, and I do not regret any of them, even though they were stupidly pricey. Because our team’s overall power has just skyrocketed. Dew and Lachesis in particular just jumped from liabilities to ridiculous frontline killers.  In addition to their giant physical stat jumps, both gained Pursuit as an ability, and Lachesis got a horse (!) and the ability to use any non-legendary weapon (!!!!!).  

But… Midir. Uncool there, man. You need a jump.  Where could we get something like that…?

Aideen: Of course. I bought it for you, after all! Silesse’s pegasus knights are a formidable foe. With a bow of this caliber in hand, I know you’ll be better prepared to fight them.

Midir: Milady… I still can’t believe this isn’t a dream! I can’t believe we’re actually married…. I’ve dreamed of this for so long.

Aideen: I’ve long dreamt of the same myself. I had wanted to act upon it for so many years, but I couldn’t, even at my loneliest… But… I think by now you can just call me Aideen. I’ll always look out for you, Midir. I’ll always pray for your safety.

Sweeeeeet. As I’m sure you can work out, this is something you’ll only get if Aideen and Midir are married; though to avoid you being totally screwed, if she married Jamke he gets the Brave Bow instead. I prefer Midir just because he needs the bow way more, frankly. Jamke’s Killer Bow is just as good and his stats are better than Midir’s by a solid margin anyway.  

Trivia, if she marries Azel, then she’s the one who gets a present, a unique staff of some sort that I don’t recall off the top of my head. But they in general aren’t a great pairing otherwise.

So here’s the map. It looks wide open but it really isn’t; the whole southern half is totally closed off to us until we deal with Maios and Thove Castle to the far northeast.  The current enemy force consists of a huge squad of wind mages moving toward our castle, a bunch of bandits moving toward all the villages because fuck you, and Dithorba’s pegasus knight unit who will start moving on the first enemy phase.  

Not much to be done at first because nothing is near us; I just have everyone move out as far as possible; our first priority is to get to the villages before they burn.

Cuvuli: Move in! Teach the traitorous scum the terror of a wind mage’s wrath!

Okay, first of all bro, you’re literally committing treason, so maybe stop judging us.  Second, wind mages are actually pretty wrathful, but they can’t actually reach us, so what follows is a scene of them all moving one space into the forest. Wrathfully. Afterwards, off to south, Duke Evilton Sr. has some fun.

Daccar: Heh heh… why, this little drama is finally getting interesting. Wouldn’t you say, Pamela?

Pamela: Indeed, sir. However, as I recall we didn’t account for Sigurd’s fugitives being here. Their strength poses a real risk to the plan. If Maios at least succeeds in weakening them, perhaps Silese’s fall will still go smoothly?

Daccar: Even if he fails, I still have my private deal with Grannvale in my favor.  Their Lord Andre should arrive shortly with a battalion of reinforcements.  

(Eep. And on an even worse note, Andre was mentioned last chapter; he’s Aideen and Bridget’s brother. If he’s working with Reptor and Langbalt…what happened to their father? We haven’t heard anything about him, but he was a friend of Prince Kurth just like Sigurd’s dad. He can’t be in a safe place right now…)  

Daccar: Hehehe… my victory is certain, Pamela! I’ll be sitting on the Silessian throne by the end of the week.

Pamela: Without a doubt, sir!

Oh goodie, so Grannvale’s coming up here too.  We can assume the deal is something like, “We make you king and you’re basically our governor in the region”, which you’d think an ambitious fuck like Daccar wouldn’t be down for, but maybe he really just wants a crown.  Once again, our turn is just moving; the enemy should reach us next turn.

Unless they don’t move. Lazy bums. Well, we’re close enough to clear the first village.

Mmmmmmmmmm she’s such a badass all of a sudden. Nothing much else to do, though, so end turn…

Would you guys pick it up?!

Sigh. Well, on our turn, we’re close enough to take shots at them.  Let’s rock this shit and try to clear out as many mages as we can before the pegasi get here.

Not bad! They’re generally pretty troublesome folks; wind magic is light and accurate, so the mages are usually pretty tricky to get rid of.  But we’re making solid progress and nobody is in a position to get hit too hard. End turn!

*wince* Well, we took some hits, but mostly only to Erin, who can thankfully handle magic damage well. That jerk putting Azel to sleep is the real annoyance.  Only Claude can fix him, so now I have to get him up there. Claude cannot fight to save his dumb life, so the first thing to get done here is to clear out the area. Kids?

Once again, not bad! I really love how Dew is able to fight an enemy and kill it in a single turn, like how real units do. And even better (I legit forgot this) Restore is a distance staff, so Claude doesn’t have to get too close after all.  I then have Sylvia dance him, and he hits the army with the Fortify staff to pop us all back up to full.

Yes, he did gain two levels in a row there. Fortify is a Hell of a staff. Now then, some cleanup. Let’s see if we can remove Cuvuli and his leadership stars from the equation.  

Nobody tell him that he’s only the first miniboss of the chapter and fighting him isn’t very far at all.

And there he goes! No more leadership stars and especially no more Sleep staff. I end the turn by smacking a few more of his pals.

Sigurd, you really need more strength. Even with your ring that gives you more strength. Well, only four mages left and we can start moving east at top speed. End turn!

…. Okay, three mages left. Not sure what that one guy who went after Bridget was thinking, but hey. Time to purge the last ones and move ourselves into the edge of the range of the pegasus squad as they just barely start to reach us from the east.  

And yes, Taillte did go twice in there. Sylvia is running with the team because I actually want her to get married now. Claude gets himself a wife! And speaking of Claude…

Claude: I did return to Grannvale and attempted to relate the truth to His Majesty. But Reptor interfered before we could meet, and now I too am branded a traitor to the motherland.

Sigurd: Ugh. I’ve had enough of just sitting here and letting Reptor have his sorry way! I swear, I’ve half a mind to storm straight into Grannvale and end this once and for all!

Claude: No. You know better than to rely on brute force or to risk the common folk’s safety. For now, Lord Sigurd, we must endure.

Sigurd: But, Father Claude…

Claude: Make no mistake. I feel your pain, too, too but this crisis’s end now lies in fate’s hands. There is nothing any of us can do to save ourselves anymore.

… … … … Holy shit, Claude. Fatalist, much? I end my turn, fully aware of the crushing hand of oblivion slowly grinding me down.

Only Jamke gets attacked, and only one enemy hits him.  But who cares? We’re all doomed and only fate and random chance can save us. *sigh* I… guess I should fight back, even though it’s pointless.

Sigh, there were a lot of misses there. It’s because of how there’s no point in fighting your destiny, I guess. Fate determined we should lose.

End turn. If it even matters.

One of the Four Great Heavenly Princess Falcon Queens of Silesse hits Midir, and does about six damage while leaving herself totally exposed.  So, uh…

Thus passes Dithorba, I suppose.  Don’t worry, she’ll have plenty of company soon.

And that’s the Pegasus unit broken. Time to move east, and fast; some of these villages are starting to get dangerously low.  While the turn prepares to end, however, something new to show off…

Some happy couples have formed!  Beowulf and Lachesis was pretty much set in stone, but I honestly wasn’t sure how Ayra would end up; either Jamke or Lex was the endgame, but I legit wasn’t certain which would end up coming on top. She spends more time with Jamke since neither has a horse, but Lex gave her that Brave Sword and got a boost from that.  In the end, Jamke wins out, which works just fine for me. Hail Verdane!

Anyhow, now that we’ve broken Maios’s opening lineup, the defenders become our next issue. The castle has three lines of defense; two small ones made up of a mage commander and two mooks, and a major squad around the castle of three more mages and seven armor units.  Pretty basic stuff, barring the fact that all the mages are using Wind magic and so they’re far more annoying than what we’re used to. Particularly this one:

Blizzard is the wind-magic siege tome, and it will be very annoying as we proceed. He’s hidden among the second small line with no indication he might be there, which, you know; always remember to look at your enemies, kids.  Time to start our charge! First, Lachesis clears a village.

It’s so delightful that she can just do that now. I can’t express it.    No other combat happens, sadly, because Silesse is full of goddamn forests and progress is very slow.  Remember back in Verdane, when the map was full of forests and everything was slow? It was annoying then, and making it snow hasn’t changed that. These villages will not be giving us much money.

Though thankfully when we actually reach them, it’s pretty easy to clear ‘em. And we are finally able to reach the attack range of the enemy defense line, so on their next turn they should be taking a shot at us. It won’t end well for them. End turn!

I warned ‘em. Now let’s rock this shit.  

Awesome! Now it’s time to get Erin and Azel to the final village, and we have four turns to do it. I think we got this. Unless something goes terribly wrong, of course.

Maios: Without this key, there’s no way they’ll ever get over here. Heh heh… I almost wish I could see the looks on their faces!

Nope, that actually isn’t a problem, we can lower that bridge again, and even if we couldn’t, we do have a pegasus now. Still, I mean, A for Effort. If some earlier bosses had tried that, we’d have lost back in frickin’ Jungby.

Also, Blizzard Dude takes a shot at Erin, but she’s a dodge champ and it doesn’t connect.  

… Azel, less so. I didn’t realize there were more than one Blizzard Dude. See what I said about checking your enemies? I need to follow my own advice. Aideen patches him up and levels.

God her magic stat is so huge. What even is happening.

Erin hits the final village, but isn’t able to clear it…

She’s gotten a bit strength-screwed this run, I’m afraid. Still, I think we got this. The only way that village could fall totally is if she and Azel both somehow miss twice next turn.

… Unless we die from being Blizzarded, jeez. All three hit, and not one had an even 40% to do it. Just one of those little reminders FE doesn’t actually like you. Luckily, Lachesis still has a healing staff on top of her other amazingness, and she steps up to heal her hubby. He takes advantage of this to run up and clear the village, letting the rest of the army move on toward the Blizzard Jerks.

… You know, this is really weird. The speed and skill are normal for a pegasus knight, but she somehow managed to trade the normal ‘high offense’ for a fairly solid defense growth you usually don’t see in her class. She can actually take hits better than she can give them at this point. It’s weird and I’m not sure I like it, but it’s interesting to see.  

Anywho, with the Blizzard Dudes burned down, let’s take some time to clear villages before we open up the path ahead.

Info Kiosk: If it’s still drawn and you don’t have the key, you’re not getting across. Mind you, if you have a thief’s sticky fingers at your service, that might not be a problem…

GEE I’M SURE THAT WON’T BE IMPORTANT.

Info Master: Divine heirs can wield even the most advanced weapons with ease, and’ll have an easier time growin’ stronger. ‘Course, it’s not every day you meet someone blessed with that sorta blood.

…………………….. That… really should have been shared in the first chapter, honestly. I mean, I already knew it, but…

Actually Innocent: If you don’t mind, perhaps you could do a little dance for us? It’s been so long since we’ve had time for respite or fun…

Sylvia: Yup, not a problem! If you think it’ll cheer everyone up a bit, then I’m gonna dance my feet off! … Okay! Heeeeeeeeere we go!

Sylvia: Whew… well, how ‘bout that? Everyone feelin’ a little better?

Not Even a Creep: Oh! What fantastic dancin’! I dunno how, but now I feel like I’m ready to give life my all! I can’t thank you enough, miss.  Here, perhaps this magic sword’ll help ya out. It oughta do a fine job of keeping ya safe.

Sylvia gets the Shield Sword, which grants +7 defense to anyone holding it and which, nothing personal honey, she absolutely will not be getting to keep. It’s going to someone who fights.

As you might have guessed, this scene only pops up if Sylvia visits this one specific village, which doesn’t look any different from any of the others. It’s not even like, ‘the closest to the castle’ or something. It’s second closest to the castle. Totally arbitrary 

No, the game doesn’t give you any hint to this.

Hahahaha.

Now, as the game hinted at earlier, Dew can lower the bridge by going to the space where it was lowered before. However, I don’t want to do that yet; this is a chance to kill off some of the enemy while leaving them unable to swarm us. I have Taillte and Midir move into the range of the enemy who have distance weapons, and get Lachesis and Aideen ready to heal them. End turn.

… It’s only as  I do this that I realize his Brave Bow means he’ll be killing most of what he fights. So, uh… hopefully he dodges a lot!

Score. Midir, you can stick around.

… Taillte, Midir just rocked this, do not screw it up for me.

… Taillte, you just got a great level, do not die and ruin this for me.

Yessssssssssssssssss. Okay, now we can lower the bridge.

We’re still not friends, you little shit. And with the way clear, we can, as the kids say, slaughter our foes.

Score. All that remains is three armor units and the boss himself, and none of them can reach anyone who they could reasonably kill in a single turn.

… Wait, why did they go for Midir at range…?

Okay, better. I mean, it’s not that I want to lose, but I feel bad if they don’t at least try. Now, let’s kill them all!

And here we go!  The enemy army for Thove Castle is broken, so nothing left to be done but kill Maios himself. He’s a baron, because of fucking course he is, and he’s packing the A-rank wind tome Tornado.  Get used to this sort of thing from here on; 99% of enemy bosses are going to be barons with great weapons that will ruin your day. Lewyn’s other douchey uncle is going to be one too.  Fortunately, we have him super, super outnumbered.

Once again, bro, insulting us by calling us traitors loses some impact when you’re in the middle of treason.

On the other hand, Midir basically bounces off him.  This is going to be a giant pain in the…

….. Never mind, forgot she had this.

Okay, battle’s over. What follows is mostly people whiffing at him for three turns, but there is one good moment…

Well. He almost succeeded in family victory.

There we go. Not much left to do but clear out a few villages and start moving people South to the big giant half of the map we conspicuously can’t enter.

Info Master: House Velthomer wields the power of fire, as bestowed by the fire goddess Vala. And House Freege wields thunder, as bestowed by the thunder god Tordo.

… Neat? Yeah, other than the sword, they’re all like this, generally giving game backstory you probably already worked out because it’s blatantly obvious. It’s like someone screwed up and put these villages in here when they should have been in the prologue.

A few empty turns of moving later, we have two fronts; one protecting Thove, and one getting ready to hit Silesse to the south.  Don’t worry if you don’t think to do this; the game gives you plenty of time to run back to either or both if needed. That set up, let’s take Thove!

(God, nobody likes their nobles in this world.)

Info Master; The entire population of Thove is rejoicing at his downfall!

Sigurd: Hm? Are you sure? I mean, I just conquered you. Am I not the enemy here?

(Does this count as a Sigurd Logic Moment?)

Info Master: Lord Maios was nothing but a tyrant. All he ever did was bleed us dry.  You fight in the name of Queen Rahna, and there isn’t a Silessian alive who doesn’t bear the utmost adoration for our queen.

(“I mean, besides her two brothers-in-law and their revolutionary armies.”)

Sigurd: Is that so? Thank you. Anyway, in the interim I think I’ll leave governing Thove to you, sir. Once the crisis has settled, the queen will arrange a proper successor. Until then, I’m sure you’ll be a just governor to help heal Thove’s wounds.

Info Master: Very well. Please, Lord Sigurd, do all you can to protect the queen. She is a treasure to us, and a beacon of peace and kindness.

Sigurd: Rest assured, my good man. So long as  I live, I will let no harm come to Queen Rahna. You have my word.

And with a zap of Aideen’s Warp staff, Sigurd heads off to join the southern front and Thove is ours. Let’s call it a fair end for the week, and cut off things here.  Next week: Everything goes to Hell!

[theonemusicmaniac]

Yo,yo,yo, tell us some of your fave musicians/bands? : o

Oh my gosh, of course I’d love to talk about that!!!!!!!

I’m gonna preface first & foremost by saying that I AM a music major & have been exposed to all kinds of music, so you’re probably gonna get a LOT of answers from me!! I’m also gonna put this under a read more cuz I am a crazy child who can’t shut up!!! Anyways, here we go!!

So as a musician, I actually started off playing the Alto Saxophone. That being said, my biggest jazz inspirations are probably Charlie Parker (my MOST fave saxophonist tbh I studied all his music!!), Cannonball Adderly, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie, & Herbie Hancock!! And my favorite thing about Herbie Hancock (other than the fact that he’s still alive & bumpin’) is that he is one of the biggest successful names who also practices the same sect of Buddhism I’m involved with, & that’s Nichiren Buddhism. Hancock is evidence of our buddhist practice because he chants Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo (loosely translates to “devotion to the Mystic Law of cause & effect thru sound”). So why is that important? We believe that if you chant NMRK & also put your thoughts into action, then you will receive immense benefit. The point of our practice is that we believe anyone can become happy thru chanting, & our goal is that if we can make everyone know happiness, then the world will know peace. ANYWAYS, back to music, that’s just my jazz answer!!

I’ve also had to study a lot of classical music growing up, & I must say that I’m most fond of Romantic Era & 20th century classical music. Tchaikovsky, Chopin, Brahms, & Liszt are some of my faves from Romantic Era. Stravinsky, Schoenburg, Copland, & Ives are some pretty incredible 20th century classical composers as well.

GROWING UP, I started off as a lil bop/top hits child because, yknow, parents will only make you listen to what they deem appropriate, but as I became exposed & learned more, I actually became a lil rocker child like my dad!! Dad exposed me to Led Zeppelin, Queen, AC/DC, Kiss, all the classic rock shit. This was also around the time that the one Jack Black movie came out (School of Rock I think it’s called). So I eventually began exploring rock music within my own generation (which there are TOO many bands that I like to even list off).

My biggest inspirations from middle school (and still to-date) are Alkaline Trio & 65daysofstatic. These two band saved my life when I thought I was down at my worst back when I was suicidal.

Going into high school, I was still the rocker child, but I think 65daysofstatic exposed me to start listening to more electronic stuff. Not necessarily dubstep bc dubstep didn’t become really big until just about when I graduated high school, but like. Stuff like Armin Van Buuren. Trance stuff. I thought it was super cool. And honestly, my favorite thing about seeing dubstep thriving into fruition was that I felt like a saw new generation of music being born. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Is this what it was like when rock was born? Was this what it was like when jazz rose within America?” It was SO cool!! Even though I’m still a lil rock child, I have so much love, appreciation, & respect for electronic music, & would definitely incorporate it into my own compositions (but since I don’t have a band rn, as you can see, electronic is all I make for now).

I would say my top 4 biggest inspirations to-date are In This Moment, Motionless In White, New Years Day, & William Control. & I can break this down easily:

1) In This Moment

In This Moment is SOOOOOOO important to me!!!! Gosh I almost don’t know where to start!!!!! I remember the first time I heard them was actually on MTV back when Headbangers Ball was big, & “Beautiful Tragedy” was like, their new biggest hit! I DIED when Maria Brink collaborated with Chris Motionless to make the music video for “Whore!” But most importantly, “The Fighter” was my motherfucking anthem after my ex & I broke up last year, & ESPECIALLY when I was sexually assaulted five days after. “I will not hide my face, I will not fall from grace, I’ll walk into the fire baby. All my life I was afraid to die, but now I come alive inside these flames.” The other thing is that Maria inspires me SO MUCH from a lyrical/compositional aspect cuz like (& I know I said I’m Buddhist from a philosphical standpoint), I also consider myself a witch, & Maria has a very enchanting witch aesthetic, & ALL of her music is written to have these really heavy messages with grand morals & such, so I see bits of both my buddhism & my witchcraft thru their music! I’m gonna be seeing them live for the first time in April and ASDIFHAOIJGPOWJGE I am so excited!!!!

2) Motionless In White

WowowowowowowoWOW where do I begin again!! I know people make fun of old MIW since it was basically only screamo/edgelord stuff, but I used to LOVE that shit once upon a time, and tbh, I think MIW is the only band of its original genre to actually become successful in obtaining that Halloween/goth/nu-goth aesthetic (which is exactly why I LOVE IT), I admire Chris for his “idgaf” attitude & for the depth in which he writes his music. MIW is obviously a very political & socially aware band, but they also take time to write very personal music too. I think the Graveyard Shift album was VERY personal, given that 570 & Hourglass were their favorite songs to make & they had such deep messages about their own journey as musicians. I’ve had the pleasure to meet this band twice, & the second time I think I left a good impression! I gave everyone in the band & their girlfriends (bc I’m such a barista) Starbucks gift cards, & they were all very nice & thankful!! I think Chris also remembers me as the one who asks really heavy music-related questions at VIPs cuz like, the first time I met them I was like, “What advice do you have for musicians like me who want to do what you do??” & the 2nd time I met them, I had a question regarding composing music. Nicest band, 10/10, & if you’re going to the final Vans Warped Tour show, you should definitely go support them because they’re on the lineup!!! (Not important info, but they also featured Maria Brink in their song “Contemptress” off the Reincarnate album, & I think that’s amazing that they team up so well)

3) New Years Day

MY BABYGIRL ASH IS SO GOOD SHE JUST GOT ENGAGED OMG I AM SO HAPPY FOR HER!!! Anyways, NYD is another REALLY nice band, & much like ITM & MIW, they carry both the witchy aesthetic (since Ash is an open witch), & they also have a bit of a Halloweenish vibe to them in their own sense (but not in the same way MIW does). I think, if you’re not big on the heavy music ITM & MIW make, NYD is a PERFECT recommendation because it’s still dark-themed music, but especially vocally speaking, it’s much “easier” on the ears (I love all of this kind of music, but this is also what people in my close circle also tell me cuz not all my friends like my music). I’ve only met this band once, but I’ve also had SO many incredible interactions with them! I met them for the first time at Vans Warped Tour last year, & it was exactly one month after I was assaulted. I didn’t feel all that great that day (partly cuz I was going to VWT by myself & I hate going alone to concerts), but Ash Costello called me beautiful when I felt my ugliest. And that’s when I realized, “Fuck if my idols can see my own worth & beauty when I can’t, the who the fuck am I!?!?” I also got to experience music lessons with both Nikki Misery & Jeremy Valentyne (just before Jeremy left the band) & they’re both very cool people! I’ve also supported Ash’s now-fiance as a musician by donating to his GoFundMe when he was doing presales on his very first EP (I think I was one of his top highest donators??) & I also made a purchase off of Ash’s DEPOP once, & she actually sent me Christmas/New Years thank you letter & some polaroid photos of herself and I???? Cried??? New Years Day is one of the few bands that I actually genuinely actively see interacting with their fanbase & loving their fans as much they do, they’re so GREAT. If you get into them & interact with their social media or go see them live, they’ll love you up to bits & pieces, they’re so sweet. I want to be as humble as them if I ever make it big.

4) William Control

A god amongst kings... My love & appreciation for this man runs so deep & knows no boundaries. I grew up on Aiden in both middle & high school, but when I learned about how the industry fucked with Aiden as a band, not only did I support Will’s transition from the punk/goth Aiden to his now electro-synth Control morally speaking, but I was actually surprised to find that I actually genuinely really LIKED his electro stuff more than his rock stuff! You can almost tell he’s going forcibly high in Aiden, like he’s straining his voice so much to get that right tone (even though he KILLS IT cuz he’s a MONSTER). But Will’s openly said before that the transition to William Control has helped him vocally because now he sings in a much more comfortable range. He also exudes an aesthetic that I wish I could obtain within the music industry?? Like, his music is sexually themed, but he’s not inadvertently SEXUALIZED. That’s how I WANT to be. I want to make music that can have sexual themes, but without actually sexualizing MYSELF. He’s also really open about being in the BDSM community, & most of his merch is based off of BDSM like his “Fuck Christian Grey” t-shirts (I think he even has his own branded butt plugs?? bless him). He has been able to transform his life so much that he went from “broke-but-famous” Aiden, to “I own my own record studio now & I’m the boss now” William Control. He actually technically retired as a musician (he’s stated that he hates touring & knowing that his son could grow up without him, so he wants to take time to focus on his family), but he’s still the manager of his very own Control Records. Because I don’t see myself forming a band anytime soon, it’s actually one of my goals to apply for Control Records as an electronic musician.

As for what I’m listening to right now (I don’t condone smoking, but if you do smoke, smoke weed), I sometimes listen to stoner shit cuz I do get high with my friends recreationally, & I do genuinely need weed to help me cope with my anxiety & depression, & my IRL friend @spectra-indica recommended CloZee to me & I can’t stop listening to it!! It’s both organic & electronic in it’s own fascinating way, & one point I got so high & connected so deeply with CloZee’s music that I almost started crying.

And yeah, those are my top faves by far!!! I wish I could list more, but then it’ll get too long aaaaaah ;A;