#this is honestly worse than the other post

[flaskoflethe]

I think the most significant metaphor in I Saw the TV Glow, of only in my interpretation, was the fucking inhaler. It's the device that gives enough temporary relief from the suffocation of being buried alive and not even knowing something's wrong, not by temporarily making it not wrong but by making you not notice that specific problem. It's still there, you're still suffocating and crushed under the ground dying alone and with your actual self torn out of you, while the fake version of you huffs the inhaler again and again with growing despair because it never addressed the problem, you were just told it would fix what was wrong

[sugoi-and-spice]

Taking Care, Taking What's Mine - A "Play Nice" Commission

Summary: A Play Nice AU Chapter, in which, rather than taking the high road and trying to build a real relationship with the girl he's been sextorting for weeks, Tomura Shigaraki baby-traps her instead.

CW: Quirkless!AU, Dub-Con, Smut, Extortion, Baby-Trapping, Forced Pregnancy, Love-Bombing, Manipulation, Power Play, Possessive Shigaraki, Yandere Shigaraki, Morning Sickness, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

AO3 Link

A/N: Happy fucking Father's Day readers!! Lmao! I got this AMAZING commission a while ago to write an AU of my AU (a fanfic writer's dream come true honestly), of Shigaraki baby-trapping MC and well, while it took longer then I meant it to to come out, I'm so glad that I could post it on Father' Day of all days lmao.

Anyway though, this was so much fun to write. Shigaraki has been on the journey of bettering himself for so long in Play Nice now, it was a total blast returning to form and writing him nice and scummy again.

I'd love to do more of these honestly, so as a reminder: I give discounts on Commissions that take place in my AU's.

Play Nice, Burnt Bridges, Step by Step -- all of them. They're super fun for me to write and most of the heavy-lifting of ideating and plotting has already been done for them, so I'm happy to write fics like this for cheaper. :)

Anyway, enjoy some forced parentification on this day of dads. xD

“Hey, hey— are you alright?”

She lifted her head from where she’d been resting it against her gym locker, the coolness of the metal being the first thing to even remotely ease the headache she’d been fighting for the last three days. 

“Yeah, of course,” she tried to force a weak smile as Nejire approached her, clearly concerned, “Why do you ask?

The captain was dressed in her practice suit. And she quickly realized that so were all the other girls, most of them already making their way out the doors to the pool deck. She was the lone straggler who hadn’t even managed to undo her uniform tie yet. Nejire looked over at these girls, and then back to her, wordlessly demonstrating why that should be obvious.

She laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her head, “Okay, I guess I’m feeling a bit under the weather today…”

And that was the understatement of the century. She felt like absolute shit . Piling on top of that stubborn pounding in her head were a pair of really sore tits, a lethargy that stuck with her no matter how much vending machine coffee she chugged, and cramps that had shot straight out of hell and directly into her uterus.

But to be honest, she couldn’t complain too much about these ailments. In fact, she was pretty damn relieved. These were all her tell-tale signs of PMS. They were a little worse than usual this time around sure, but if that was the tradeoff for the relief of not being pregnant, she’d take it in a heartbeat. Her period was only one day late at this point and it had all but paralyzed her with fear.

Of course in retrospect, the fear did seem a bit silly. After all, Shigaraki’s creepy family doctor had warned her there might be some changes.

“I never start patients new to birth control immediately on a Long Acting Reversible Contraception,” he explained, “Especially not teenagers.”

“Why not?” she demanded, “It’s reversible, right? It’s not like you’re tying my tubes or anything.”

“No, but you never know how your body is going to react to the hormonal shift. You could develop acne, weight gain, hair growth—”

“I don’t care about that superficial stuff.”

“... Migraines, blood clots, depression,” he continued, looking at her pointedly.

She looked away, feeling a bit stupid for interrupting him now that he’d listed the more serious side-effects.

“I’m not saying you have to stay on the pill forever. But give it a few months, see how you feel on it. It can help us better determine which long-term birth control is best for your body without any unnecessarily invasive procedures.”

She shuddered at the very thought of being stuck in this set-up with Shigaraki for months. She hoped he’d get bored of her sooner rather than later.

Well, on the brightside, at least this sketchy-ass doctor seemed to be as interested in looking under her skirt as she was having him down there. However, this still left the ever so pertinent issue of:

“Okay, but there’s still the issue of getting the pills. No pharmacy is going to give me these without signed parental consent.” She had the always convenient Japanese purity culture to thank for that.

Ujiko simply smiled and pulled out a wheel of birth control pills from his medical bag right then and there.

“Consider these the same as this appointment,” he said, cupping his hands over hers and placing the wheel firmly into her palm, “ Off the record. ”

And then the rest of the “appointment” had descended into one of extremely thinly-veiled intimidation that bizarrely enough, she’d relied on Shigaraki of all people to save her from. By that point, she’d been scared so shitless she had very little argument left in her to try and reason him into just giving her the damn IUD.

The regret of not standing her ground on the issue did hit her later that night on the train home. Particularly when she thought over the fact that the way they were keeping these pills off the record was by having her pick up her refills through Shigaraki. The idea of giving him even more power over her like that made her feel sick to her stomach. And yes, while logically she knew that he had just as much motivation to keep her from getting pregnant as she did (she had a feeling All for One would not take too kindly to his star successor knocking up a lowly commoner such as herself), she still just had a bad feeling about the whole thing.

So she’d resolved herself on her first refill day to completely lay into Shigaraki for any level of tomfoolery he may get up to in this situation. There would be no forgetting, no being too busy to pick up the pills for her, absolutely nothing. She was ready to rain full fire and brimstone on him if there was even a hint of bullshit.

But to her surprise (and relief), she hadn’t even crossed the threshold of his bedroom before he was tossing a new pack to replace her wheel with. Simple and nonchalant, and then he was just as quick as always to badger her about getting her clothes off already, get on the bed already, break up with your boyfriend already.

It was the same old, same old — for better or for worse. Even if she couldn’t trust Tomura Shigaraki himself, that action had at least ensured that she could trust his own desire for self-preservation.

And that was better than nothing she supposed.

Back in the locker room, Nejire asked her, “Do you think you’re coming down with something?”

She smiled at her friend, joking, “Nothing I don’t come down with every month.”

Nejire tilted her head in confusion for a moment before the lightbulb visibly lit up in her head.

“Ohhhhh,” Nejire nodded sympathetically, “Yeah, Aunt Flow can be a real meanie sometimes, huh?”

She laughed, then winced as the action worsened the throbbing in her head,  “Damn it— you can say that again.”

Nejire’s brows furrowed and she brought a hand to the small of her friend’s back, “Hey, why don’t you take this afternoon off?”

She looked back to her, surprised, “Oh no, I couldn’t…”

“Sure you could!” Nejire chirped, “And honestly, you probably should. We’re working on our weakest strokes today. I had you down to work on your fly.”

Visible dread filled her as she thought about doing that much undulation in her current state.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Nejire laughed, “Seriously, go home. We’ll miss you, but we love you too. So we want you to take care of yourself.”

She debated a little more internally, one other loose thread dropping into her mind’s eye.

“If I do… Do you mind—”

“I’ll let Mirio know,” she shot her a wink as she clarified, “ After practice. I’ll let him know you just need the peace and quiet.”

She smiled at Nejire, genuinely grateful. This. This right here was what made all of the bending over backwards she did to fit in and please others worth it. To be cared about by such a good person. 

The warmth of that care stayed with her all the way out to the school gates, where she was then immediately filled with dread upon realizing that she’d need to go in one of two directions depending on where she was going after school: the train station home, or the walk to Shigaraki’s.

And just which direction she was scheduled to go today.

She let out a long groan, anguished and loud enough to startle a couple members of the going home club that passed her. For once though, she didn’t care about her reputation, she was too focussed on what a goddamn nightmare she was falling into.

She pulled out her cellphone with a sigh. Yes she knew the effort was probably futile, but damn her if she didn’t at least try.

Yup. She could’ve seen that coming from a mile away. She sighed as she shoved her phone back into her bag and started the very slow trek over to Shigaraki’s. 

“Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Shigaraki said as he looked her over his doorway, “You look like shit.”

She shot him a wholly unimpressed look as she shoved past him into his bedroom.

“Yeah, I fucking told you.” 

Shigaraki, surprisingly, didn't have anything to say about her tone, even with her brusqueness towards him being more than usual. He just watched her drop down face first onto his bed and curl her legs up into her chest.

She sighed at the slight relief the position gave her. While dealing with Shigaraki’s antics was about the last thing she wanted right now, she supposed that at least she could be grateful for how much closer his apartment was to her school then her own home was. It saved her a good fifty-minutes of white-knuckling a train stanchion to keep down her groans of pain. Now at least she could get the relief of laying down much sooner.

If only for a little bit.

“What’s going on?”

She bristled at Shigaraki’s voice, the unwelcome reminder that she wasn’t going to be able to truly relax right now. And while there didn’t seem to be any entendre or even impatience in his question, the fact that his voice was getting closer to her was enough to make her suspicious.

“My head aches, my back aches, my boobs ache — everything aches,” she grumbled down into his sheets, “And I feel like I’ve been donkey-kicked straight in the uterus.”

“You start your period or something?”

He didn’t sound sarcastic when he asked it, not that typical boy way of asking any time a girl did something they considered “moody”. It was a genuine question. But it irritated her all the same. 

Everything seemed to be irritating her these days.

“About to,” she answered, “It’s like a day late, but it’s definitely coming.”

She felt the bed shift a bit as he sat next to her.

“Are you nauseous at all?”

Her brows furrowed, a bit confused by the interest.

“I guess a little,” she answered, because even though it was mild, there was a certain turn in her stomach that wasn’t unlike motion sickness, “But honestly, I think it’s just from the pain. This has been going on for like three days.”

“Have you taken anything for it?”

She could’ve laughed if she wasn’t so annoyed by the reminder of all her futile attempts to alleviate this. Because of course he was looking for a quick fix so they could fuck already.

“I’ve taken everything for it,” she groaned, “Nothing’s working.”

He just hummed in response, and then she could feel the sheets behind her dip a bit as he repositioned himself. Into what orientation, she wasn’t sure. She was about to turn her head back and ask him what he was doing when she felt his hand featherlight across her hip.

And between her legs.

“No, Shigaraki please,” she whined, pulling he knees closer into her chest, “I’m not kidding, I’m seriously in a lot of pain—”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Tell that to your hand then,” she snapped as his fingers tried to wiggle their way between her clenched thighs.

“I mean I’m not doing anything for me. This is for you.”

“Oh is it now,” she deadpanned.

“I’m not gonna fuck you,” he insisted, more irritably this time, “Orgasms help with cramps, right?”

She stilled, sufficiently stumped by that particular statement. Because yes, she could say from experience that they absolutely did. She’d spent many a nasty period with her fingers latched to clit to chase that particular path of relief. 

…but why the hell did Shigaraki know that?

She gasped as she suddenly felt the gentle roll of her clit under three fingers. Apparently, in her moments of distracted deliberation, Shigaraki managed to push his hand past the plush lock of her thighs and under the hem of her panties.

“Sh-Shigaraki…” she whined, pushing her elbow blindly and weakly back towards him.

He caught it gently in his free palm and, rather than trying to pin or strain it in whatever which way he desired, like usual, he just held it there. Didn’t even hold it in place really, just shielded himself against its determined path towards his ribs.

“I’m serious,” he said, uncharacteristically soft, “I’m trying to help you.”

She finally mustered up the strength to — despite how much her aching abdomen hated her for it — turn and glower at Shigaraki.

“No funny business?” she pressed.

He settled his own flat expression on her, “When have I ever been funny?”

More times than she’d like to admit honestly, but she got what he was saying here. He was a pretty serious, straightforward person on principle. He didn’t bullshit, he didn’t pull cheap tricks, and, shockingly enough, he didn’t typically lie. Frustrating as it was, Tomura Shigaraki was pretty much always unapologetically himself and he always did what he wanted.

So if he said that he was doing this to help her, then she supposed that she didn't actually have a lot of reason to distrust him.

Plus, his fingers hadn’t stopped their soft, but affective ministrations between her legs, and the pleasant sparks of heated relief they were sending through her were undeniable.

She turned back onto her side with a sigh that was half-exasperation, half pleasure.

“Fine,” she said, throwing back quickly before he got too victorious, “But fuck around and I’ll kick you.”

Shigaraki just chuckled, a soft throaty sound that shouldn’t have sent the chills up her spine that it did, “Yeah, yeah…”

In one motion, careful not to jostle her too much, Shigaraki both pulled her back and scooched himself closer, until her back was nestled snug against his surprisingly firm chest and her head laid in the crux of his bicep.

With this new closeness he was able to be a bit more deliberate with the angle and pressure he used to rub at her swollen sex. And, while she hated to admit it, the increased blood flow between her legs was causing the pressure within her to build quite a bit faster than usual. Enough so that it had her letting go of the tension in her neck and joints — the automatic stress reaction she had to any of Shigaraki’s displays of intimacy — and letting the weight of her head drop fully into his embrace.

A shuddering sigh left Shigaraki at that clear relinquishing of control, of the way she truly let herself lay back and relax into him. It gave him the encouragement he needed to enjoy her to the fullest extent that he wanted her as well, burying his nose deep into her hair. 

He started to stroke wider circles around her, the flats of his fingers never leaving her clit, but now allowing the tips to dip softly into her entrance. He didn’t push them in at all past his first knuckles, just enough to catch some of that growing wetness and spread it all across her fluttering lips.

“A-Ah—” she gasped out, “Sh-shit…”

“Like that?” he rasped, hot against her ear.

She bit her lip, nodding needily, “Mm— Mm-hmm…”

He groaned at the response, doubling down on that motion as he started to stud long, hot kisses down the back of her jaw and neck. The feeling, so gentle and intimate and good in combination to the way he worked her sex, had her unconsciously rocking her hips into his touch, and back into his own.

Vaguely through the haze, she could feel the familiar outline of his stiff cock against the cleft of her ass, but shockingly he didn’t try to grind it against her for relief. If anything actually, when her own hips moved unconsciously back against it, he actually shifted his own hips away, anglind them down so his erection pushed into the bed instead. As if he didn’t want her to feel it, that he was concerned about her feeling pressured by its presence.

She didn’t have the chance to think too much into that though, not when his fingers were coaxing her closer to the edge by the second. The mess between her legs was obscene at this point, through teary eyes she could see the overflow of it spreading wide across her thighs and pooling down in the sheets. 

“God look at you, so fucking wet,” he groaned, lips having made it down to her shoulder and staying there so that he could have a better view of her writhing under his touch, “You needed this, huh? Fucking needed me…”

She buried her face into his arm to muffle her moans, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of an answer, but also not wanting him to stop.

By some act of God, Shigaraki didn’t push for that answer either. She wasn’t sure why he’d abandoned his typical demands and taunts, didn’t threaten to stop until she gave him the verbal submission and begrudging praise he always wanted. Nor did she stop to think about why, she just let the gratitude course through her, spurred further and wider by the waves of heat rushing through her body, threatening — promising — to overflow.

Shigaraki could feel that axiomatic tension in her body, the boiling point it promised, and sped up his hand to stoke the flames.

“You’re close aren’t you? Oh yeah, you’re close…” his kisses turned to nips at her neck between progressively more demanding growls, “Gonna be a good girl and come for me?”

Fuck, hearing those last words spill from his mouth should not have done what it was doing to her. But it was speeding up her peak, and it was speeding it up audibly.

“Yeah, yeah that’s good, really good. Let it go. Go ahead, be a good girl and let it go.”

She cried out, her arching back forcing her face forward and mouth unmuffled as finally, finally her body went blissfully loose, the pain of the past few days overtaken by waves of heat and pleasure. One after the other, her hormone-driven sensitivity wrung out multiple orgasms, and his frantic fingers were happy to work her through each one until she was begging him to stop.

“Good girl, yeah, yeah, just like that. That’s a good girl,” he continued to praise, returning time and again to that phrase he could feel her getting unconsciously excited over, “That’s my good girl…”

It was just a few blurry moments of consciousness after that. She was pretty sure she whined something like “too much” to him at some point, and he whispered back something that she was sure was just utterly debauched right back. Or maybe it was sweet nothings, he had really favored those by the end of this escapade after all. 

Whatever it all was, she supposed it didn’t matter. All that mattered in those seconds of labored breaths and fluttering lashes was the beautiful bliss and relief that finally overtook her body. That allowed her to immediately fall asleep in his arms.

Shigaraki held her there for a long time after. He raked his eyes greedily across her body, letting himself carve every detail deep into his memory. He knew he didn’t need to, not anymore. Her boyfriend, her parents, hell, whether or not she got into Todai with him, it was all a non-issue now. There was no reason for him to lose this anymore. She wasn’t going anywhere in life without him. He was going to be able to revel in this sight for the rest of his life now. And he just couldn’t believe how lucky he was for that.

He chuckled a bit at that. Well, maybe lucky wasn’t the right word. This was all by design after all, weeks of very deliberate planning and deception. It was just like he’d always been taught. It didn’t matter what hand you’ve been dealt — and Tomura Shigaraki had certainly been dealt a shit hand in a lot of ways — a real winner made his own luck. 

Sensei would be mad, Shigaraki knew that much. Everyone would be mad in fact, but he didn’t care. He was just following the fundamental lesson Sensei himself had instilled in him the day they met. 

Take whatever you want, and fuck all the rest.

Several minutes into hearing those sweet deep breaths of unconsciousness from the beautiful girl in his arms, Shigaraki finally peeled his fingers away from her cunt.

And slid a wide hand up to cradle her tummy.

It was dark when she woke up, not a single one of Shigaraki’s many monitors or television lit the windowless room. That was odd for a couple of reasons, the first of which being that the overhead lighting had definitely been on when she’d dozed off. The second of which was that any time Shigaraki wasn’t preoccupied with helping her study or studying her, he was chronically attached to at least one screen, if not multiple, so it was more than a bit odd for him to have zero on. The reason for the lack of blue light however became quickly apparent as her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness.

Shigaraki wasn’t here.

She was totally alone in his room, alone and tucked into his bed. Had he gone to the bathroom or something? But then why would all the lights be off? It seemed like he’d probably been gone for a while. Weird…

She threw off the covers and flipped her legs around with much more ease than she’d done anything over the last three days, much to her relief. However long she’d been out, the sleep had clearly done her some good. The pounding in her head and pelvis had finally ceased, perhaps just in time for her to actually start her period. She did feel some dampness between her legs after all. Although…

Her face heated up as she remembered the much more likely cause of that.

Damn it, she thought with a groan, dropping her head into her hands. She couldn’t believe that she actually let him do that to her, for her. He was going to get entirely the wrong idea from it. The idea that she might actually like him and want to spend time with him, that there was some kind of connection between them that extended past the time she was required to spend with him to keep him satisfied. And she absolutely could not deal with that.

Being his little sex toy was one thing. A demoralizing thing, yes, but a manageable one. She’d seen the way Shigaraki treated things he objectified — games and magazines and the like. He got bored of them quickly. And if she was one of those things in his eyes, then eventually he’d get bored with her too and she’d be free.

If he was attached to her though? Had found connection in her and a desire to keep her in his life? She didn’t even want to consider that nightmare scenario.

She made her way out into the hallway, looking up and down from the empty bathroom on one end of the hall to the top of the staircase on the other. She didn’t have to contemplate the lack of presence on this floor for long though, when she heard Shigaraki’s voice echoing up from downstairs, talking emphatically to Kurogiri, she assumed. 

She couldn’t hear exactly what he was talking about, but whatever it was, he was being particular about it. “Don’t overcook” and “perfect” were a few of the words she managed to catch, so it was about food, maybe? The accompanying sounds of sizzling pans and clanking cookware would certainly support that. As would the smell that suddenly hit her.

It wasn’t an unpleasant smell by any means. In fact, it was salmon, one of her favorites. But for some reason at that moment, the smell hit her with a particular intensity that made her feel overwhelmed.

And really fucking nauseous.

She just barely made it to the toilet at the end of the hall, not even fully down to her knees by the time she was emptying her stomach into the bowl. It wasn’t just a brief moment of sickness either. The bouts were loud and long, she was sure that it echoed throughout the entire apartment. It left her red-faced, skin covered and hair clumped with sweat, not to mention still gagging long after she had nothing left to gag on.

A hand she barely even noticed came to rest on the small of her back in the midst of it all. It was only in the aftermath, spent and dry-heaving that she could process the fact that it was Shigaraki, kneeling at her side, patiently stroking small circles into her clammy skin and encouraging her softly.

“Let it out. Just let it all out.”

She groaned once she finally seemed to have a solid thirty seconds of dry, steady breath. And Shigaraki used that respite to nudge a glass of water into her hands.

“Here.”

She didn’t argue or agree, just took it from him with shaky hands, tossing half of it just into her mouth to swish around and spit the remaining bitterness from her tongue.

 “Drink some of it too.”

She nodded shakily, still too drained and disoriented to be irritated with his telling her what to do, or suspicious of the fact that he was being so nice. 

And still, as she took entirely too long to finish the rest of her water with timid little sips, he just knelt on the ground with her, moving the hand on her back to rest on her knee, thumb rubbing circles into the spot where a bruise would undoubtedly form. 

Finally, after a long, silent stretch, she managed to croak out, “W-What time is it?”

“Only seven,” he answered, “Kurogiri’s got dinner almost ready downstairs. Seared salmon, brown rice, avocado salad—”

She whined, shaking her head roughly at the very implication of food.

“Don’t like salmon?”

“I-I do… It’s just—” she gagged a little as she remembered that smell that had set this all off in the first place, “Th-The smell right now. It’s too much…”

“Oh yeah…” he nodded understandingly, muttering something to himself that she couldn’t quite make out. It sounded kind of like, “Heightened” and “Read about that…”

Her brows furrowed a bit, frustrated and confused. She was getting the feeling that he was really not telling her something.

“W-What?”

Shigaraki just waved her off, “No, that’s fine, that’s fine. Salmon’s not the only thing he made. There’s sauteed spinach, wakame tofu soup, toasted—” 

Jesus Christ, was Kurogiri cooking for an army down there or something? 

Well, whoever it was all for, and as delicious as it all sounded in theory, imagining those foods in practice right now was making her feel sick all over again.

“Mm-mm, Mm-mm!” she whined, shaking her head again.

She didn’t want to risk opening her mouth right now, lest she blow chunks all over the front of Shigaraki’s shirt. Although wouldn’t that be a nice little serving of karma for him…

“You need to eat something,” he insisted, more lecturey than she’d ever heard him, but with a strange gentleness to his voice as well, “And you need to drink some more too. You’re totally dehydrated.”

She shook her head more emphatically at that, which only resulted in her falling forward into his chest. 

He caught her before she could fall any further, scolding her not too harshly, in fact, a bit whimsically, “Is this how you’re gonna be the whole time?”

She pulled her head back to look at him, a confused furrow in her brows that brought the corners of his lips up.

“It’s not a bad look on you to be honest. All weak and petulant,” he brought a hand to pinch lightly at her cheek, “It’s kinda cute actually.”

Her eyes narrowed, finally feeling her stomach steady enough in her to be annoyed. He chuckled, just as amused and endeared by this look as the last. 

“Well how about okayu?” he offered with a patronizing little lilt, “And maybe some ginger tea?”

He clearly wasn’t going to let this go. And infuriatingly, he was right not to. She definitely was in no shape to go home on this empty stomach. 

She sighed.

“Yeah… Yeah okay.”

Going at her own shaking, snailish pace, Shigaraki helped her up onto her legs, pulling her immediately into his side as he led her back towards his bedroom. Normally she’d protest, stick an elbow right into his ribs and storm on ahead of him, but honestly she needed the help right now. So she sucked it up and let him lead her back into his bed. 

But that didn’t stop her from eying him suspiciously as he propped his pillows up behind her and tucked her back in under his comforter, the overall way he doted and fretted over her, even stopping to look back at her one more time from the doorway before he returned downstairs to give Kurogiri the new marching orders.

She dropped her head back against the pillows when finally alone, a bad feeling settling heavier and heavier in her stomach. This was beyond weird, the way he was acting. Sure, the guy was overbearing and constantly demanding of her attention, stupidly needy even. But doting? Not only willing but eager to put her needs ahead of his own? Caring deeply about her actual well-being and not just what he wanted to be her well-being? This was all way too out of character for him.

“…You can tell me. If he bothered you, I mean. N-Not just the Doctor either… If um… If anything’s bothering you.”

She sighed at the memory. Alright, maybe she wasn’t giving him enough credit. He’d shown at least some capability and even interest in her wants and well-being, he wasn’t a complete monster.

But still, all of this? The cooing and the caring and the, erm, servicing even that he’d done? It felt like too much. Like she was missing something really key about it all.

Like something was wrong .

Whether she ended up getting lost in that train of thought for long, or Kurogiri had already had some okayu whipped up downstairs, she wasn’t sure, but she was startled by how quickly it seemed that Shigaraki returned with a breakfast tray in hand. She cocked her head as he set it up over her lap, this was a lot more robust than she was expecting, and, she realized as she examined everything on the tray, a lot more stocked as well.

There was okayu, front and center for her, yes. But also on the tray was another small bowl of soup (looked like the wakame that Shigaraki had mentioned, a thing of plain yogurt (the really fancy kind that came in the glass jars), a glass of orange juice…

And a little dish of four pills. 

Painkillers or antiemetics maybe? They looked more like vitamins…

“Go ahead and start with the okayu if you want,” Shigaraki explained as he climbed up into the bed next to her, “But I want you to try and get some of the wakame and yogurt down too…”

As he settled down, his legs flush with her own, he continued to rattle off instructions and explanations for the rest of her tray, sending her mind completely spinning, faster and faster, like a goddamn Gravitron.

And she was ready to get the fuck off.

“...if nothing else though, take the vitamins. You need the folate, calcium, iron, and the omega-3 especially, since you don’t want the salmon—”

“Okay, stop, stop, stop !”

Shigaraki paused, having the audacity to look at her like she was crazy for snapping. 

“Jesus—what the hell are you even talking about Shigaraki?!” she demanded, “What’d you say, folate? What? What is all this?”

He cocked his head, clearly playing innocent. Whatever this was, he was clearly enjoying the slow unraveling of it all.

“What’re you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about!” she snapped, “All this attention and doting and food stuff! What the hell is this all about?!”

He just smiled back at her, taking in how pretty she looked, even when mad (especially when mad sometimes), God, to think that this really was his forever now. He wondered if they had a girl, how much she’d look like her. He hoped a lot…

“I just want to make sure you’re getting all the vitamins and nutrients you need…”

He reached over then, spreading his hand flat against her stomach.

“ Both of you .”

She froze.

No.

No, he couldn’t mean—

She tried to speak, tried to ask what the ever-loving- fuck he was talking about, but her mouth had seemed to go dry. She tried several times to open and wet it a bit, but every time she did, it felt like her throat was closing too. It took at least four desperate attempts for her to finally force out one rasped:

“... what? ”

Shigaraki’s grin widened, and he started to rub circles gently across her belly.

“You’re gonna look so cute, all big and round with my kid,” he giggled suddenly as he remembered something, “Oh, and your tits too. I wonder how big they’re gonna get…”

She stared at him, unblinking, unbreathing. Everything but un-fucking-existing.

He couldn’t be serious. He was fucking with her. He had to be fucking with her!

“Th-That’s not funny.”

His grin evened a little, not disappearing outright, but settling away some of its blissful excitement into something more coyly victorious.

“I said it already,” he reminded, “When have I ever been funny?”

She shook her head in disbelief.

“N-No. No, no, no this isn’t— there’s no way—”

“I’ve got the tests ready when you need to pee, but I think it’s pretty clear. These are all the symptoms I read about.”

“No!” she insisted, “N-No, no— this is, it’s my period! It’s just a day late, it’s not—!”

He chuckled, “I know the symptoms can be similar, but come on. When’s the last time you’ve hurled like that thanks to your period? And the sensitivity to smell? You know this is different.”

Crumbling, every argument she could possibly think of was crumbling to dust before she could even get the thought fully formed. And cruel, vicious reality was more than happy to take its place.

“B-But my birth control pills…”

“Fertility pills,” he explained, his splitting-grin returning in full, “I would’ve preferred to get Clomid from the doctor, but it looks like the over the counter stuff and tracking your cycle worked just fine.”

Her stomach dropped. Pieces of memories, peculiar behaviors and nagging thoughts she’d had over the last two months falling into place. How there were stretches of times where he’d cancel their sessions, only to insist they make them up a few specific days in a row. How he wanted to go multiple rounds a lot those days. How he’d stopped wanting blowjobs from her entirely. How he seemed to only want to fuck her from behind or with her knees pressed hard into her chest, positions he could fuck her the deepest in.

And how he’d have her stay still with his cock buried in her after he came. 

Back then, she just thought he was being weird and pervy. And in a way she was right.

Horribly fucking right.

Shigaraki shifted his legs away from her so that he could bring his head down to her lap, laying his cheek blissfully against her belly. 

“Was so easy,” he hummed against her skin, “Like your body was just waiting for me to knock you up. Waiting for me to make you mine…”

His hands moved across her body, one coiling behind her back so that he could pull her tighter into him, the other lacing his fingers through her own. The fingers on her trembling left hand.

“Both of you, forever,” he growled happily, a predator who had finally and definitively sunk his teeth into his prey, “All mine.”

[endelineinwonderland]

What happened to your posts 🥺

Heads up, this is going to be a long one.

Yes! Okay, so I was just going to make a proper post about this once I had really thought it through and when I had finished editing let the light in down to the new length. However, you’re not the first ask about this (which honestly I didn’t anticipate at all) so I’ll just answer this one to explain what’s going on!!!

Basically, when I posted chapter 10 (smut, if you didn’t get to read it) I felt kinda weird about it. Initially, I thought I was just not a fan of the writing itself but the next day I finished up a paper about sexualization of female athletes, and I realized that the research I was doing for this assignment in combination with that particular chapter having just been posted was making me feel kind of confused about how I personally felt about writing for real people at all. Even when the work is, of course, entirely fictional and purely for entertainment purposes. I sat on this for a hot second because ultimately I have really enjoyed writing and I knew I’d not stop reading fanfics regardless of what I decided so that made not writing feel pretty pointless.

I’ve never really written before but it’s brought me a lot of joy in the past month and it’s been really fun learning/experimenting with it. All of this being said, I did pretty much decide that I would just keep writing and in future posts just stick to fluff/angst because that’s what makes me the most comfortable right now.

I didn’t, however, initially want to switch everything up on let the light in because it had already been posted and re-doing anything felt pointless. So, I sat down like 2 days later and started to re-read chapter 10 to attempt to edit it since it had been posted unedited (per usual) and within 5 minutes I got a text from my brother (a UConn student, and the one responsible for introducing me to wbb :) )with a selfie saying he had finally met her and a few other girls on the team and they had all been really nice to him, yada yada yada.

I think on a subconscious level I was still feeling a lot more ambivalent than I was able to recognize in the moment and I proceeded to interpret this as the universe giving me a big ol shove in a different direction. I got this text and within 10 minutes decided to delete chapter 10 and the other smut piece I had written. Which, for better or for worse, then spiraled into me deleting everything.

I can’t explain why I felt guilty about it and I do not for even a second think that writing about real people is a bad thing and in all honesty some of my favorite, if not all of my favorite, pb authors/stories have had smut in them and it doesn’t bother me at all and I don’t even for a second think that the people writing it are doing something wrong or contributing to the sexualization of women in sports, that rests entirely on the shoulders of gross men on Twitter. But, apparently what I’m comfortable consuming vs. what I’m comfortable producing does not align as well as one would assume they should and I didn’t realize this until it was too late.

In the end, the combination of just having had some strange feelings about it and then seeing the person I was writing about next to my little brother and hearing that she had been so sweet to him while I was editing that chapter made me feel guilty. So then I re-read let the light in, found a potential ending point, and pretty much deleted everything else.

All this being said, I am going to be editing the 3 chapters of let the light in to wrap it up and I will probably keep writing just with an emphasis on exclusively angst/fluff. I do genuinely and sincerely apologize to anyone who wanted to see a different, more complete story for let the light in and maybe in the future I’ll re-write it, I’m just not sure yet.

Sorry for the rant but I’m not quite sure how to condense my feelings on the subject yet when I’m not entirely sure what my feelings are and if I regret it or not. We shall see! The joys of being a professional over thinker!

[rejects-hq]

20 QUESTIONS TO ASK IN THE DARK

RULES.

this is part of our ongoing EVENT #001: LIGHTS OUT IN PARADISE.

to participate, reblog this post onto the blog(s) of your participating muse(s) and make sure their ask box is open. in the tags, indicate whether you are open to question prompts only, OR question prompts and starter prompts.

if participating, please try to send at least one question prompt to other participating muses!

all event-related posts should be tagged #rj:event001. remember to tag any triggers accordingly!

while the starter prompts were created specifically to foster new threads, feel free to convert any responses to the question prompt list into threads as well.

the starter prompts were written with mostly the event-related locations in mind, but feel free to place them in different settings!.

responses can be posted until the end of the event, sunday, july 7th.

QUESTION PROMPTS

tell me 3 truths and 1 lie, without naming which one is which.

do you wish you had a different ability?

what's your most vivid childhood memory?

when was the last time you lost your temper?

what's the worst thing you've ever done to someone?

if the building were about to burn down, what are the first three things you would grab?

do you think you're redeemable?

what was the moment you realized your life wouldn't go the way you thought it would?

do you think you'll ever make it out of here?

what is the biggest lie you've told?

when was the last time you cried and why?

what's something you used to love but now hate?

if your life paused for a day and you could go anywhere you want and do anything you want, where would you go?

what are three things you like about yourself?

how do you define "home"?

is it easier to make people love you or hate you?

if you could have any other ability, possible or impossible, what would you want?

how do you ask others for help?

in another life, where do you think you would be? what would you be doing?

what (or who) is your silver lining?

describe how your room looks.

what's something no one else knows about you?

do you believe in heroism? in heroes?

how do you escape your reality?

when was the last time you told someone honestly how you felt about them?

STARTER PROMPTS

"it can't get worse than this... right?"

"don't panic, but i think there's something behind you."

"what were you thinking?!"

"did you hear that?"

"i managed to get a candle before they ran out. you want to share?"

"forget this, i'm going to the pool. you want to come?"

"forget this, i'm going out. you want to come?"

"no, you don't get it, you have to help me find [object]."

"my [apartment]/[room] was getting too hot, can i stay here for a while?"

"the scanner won't read my card and i can't get back in, so..."

"do you think they keep the breaker box in the sublevel? i bet i can fix it."

"no way. i'm not going there in the dark."

"come on, we have to see it. when are we ever going to get another chance?"

"i think we're stuck here."

"i didn't know where else to go."

"okay, okay. just stay calm, stay calm, stay calm."

"i'm going out to get food. who knows how long this will last."

"is this a bad time to mention i'm not good with the dark?"

"i heard there's a bonfire at the drive-in."

"it's like these people have never seen the power go out before."

"i want to find out what that explosion was."

"it's less crowded near the river."

"this is kind of nice."

"i didn't mean to startle you."

"do you think they'll still serve us our food?"

"why did it have to be you?"

"i knew we shouldn't have come here."

"want some company?"

"hey, you! this building is for residents only!"

[breaking-kneecaps]

hey guys look its a

biblically accurate angle 

[biblically-accurate-dca]

@vanweek2024 day 6 - spare

vanny goes bowling !

[coern-art-very-cool-and-nice]

sekai au 👊😔

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Drew WWX and LWJ after I finished my rewatch of The Untamed a few months ago. I have gotten marginally better. May this set a benchmark for what to expect from this blog.

Edit: June 2023 redraw

[myfriendgoo94]

I feel so ugly i just wanna scream until my voice goes hoarse

[b4kuch1n]

I'm not gonna screenshot it bc 1/it really doesn't matter that much and 2/the person who made the comment is a kid but: a while ago I made a comic that's supposed to be a genuine study and reinterpretation of someone else's sprite comic (made in the spirit of authenticity too - to recreate the vibes of the sprite comics from that era, iirc very specifically because it's funny) and I got a comment on that comic's post that's like "glow up"

which is a compliment obvs. and the commenter probably didn't mean anything by it, it's a common expression. but I've been trying to find a way to gracefully put that comment away ever since it appeared lol

I just very much don't want my art to be taken as trying to one-up someone else's art when that's not the piece's intention. especially when the piece that inspired my art is perceived as "low effort" or "shitpost" or stuff like that. I did mention in the tags of that post that my considering it a study is entirely genuine, and I can legitimately write pages about the cool stuff I find in it other than and inherent in the haha funneys, but that's not for you guys that's for me. I just think that approaching art competition-first like that is a miserable way to do it, and (tipping into overthinking here if the whole tiny-comment-got-stuck-in-my-brain-for-almost-a-month part hasn't given that away yet lol) I really don't want that to be the takeaway from my own art. at least generally. if I actually think the source material is trash and what I'm doing is genuinely categorically better I'd just come out and say it lmao

[trappper-johnathan]

Must we pit two bad bitches against each other?? [og post]

[thefirstknife]

First, I wanna say that I do NOT condone the extenely nasty and toxic behavior of various parts of the fandom, especially towards the devs. But I'm starting to wonder more and more if this is actually something the company brought on themselves? The game at this point relies on an increasingly expensive and predatory FOMO model and a lot of players seem to exhibit symptoms of genuine addiction to the game, or at least a very unhealthy relationship cultivated by that FOMO and "well I sunk all this money in I can't just stop now" mindsets. Which leads to players burning out and being irrational, which leads to some players being ruder or cruel and gives toxic players (who would be toxic anyway) a community that doesn't reject them out of hand because the community itself is so exhausted and frustrated and genuinely struggling to have a healthy connection to the game due to the entire model it operates under. It doesn't mean the devs or other players deserve the cruelty they've faced, but it feels like this behavior breeding among the fans is the natural consequence of the direction the game has gone. (I notice this in various mobile gacha type games that are heavily FOMO and predatory, too--the addition and sunk cost issues seem to make it truly difficult for people to be able to behave rationally)

In a way, I guess? It's not really the devs making these decisions though, it's the executives and marketing which pretty much has nothing to do with the game itself. It's still Bungie, but this stuff goes beyond just Bungie and just Destiny and just game development.

Basically, what people are mad about is capitalism. But since it's much harder to fight a whole system we live under and the system under which games are being made, people instead turn to individual companies and then also on devs, mostly because devs are the ones who are visible online. A marketing CEO from Bungie who signs off on these decisions isn't on Twitter.

I definitely wouldn't say that any company "brought individual employee harassment" on themselves. Like, no matter what state the game is in, you should never go for the random devs online and people should know that, no matter how mad they get. They're definitely not making these decisions and a lot of them are actively against them. For example, this is from a senior narrative designer at Bungie:

Note that the first thing he mentioned is "monetization and business interests overshadowing artistry." This isn't isolated, it's just one person who wanted to share, but it's a general sentiment among the actual devs. Nobody wants their work to be subjected to the aggressive monetisation schemes that ultimately piss off the consumers and ruin the product itself.

But as I said, the issue here goes above and beyond just one game or one dev studio. A lot of people keep talking about awful monetisation in Destiny, but I genuinely can't agree that Destiny, of all games, is the worst game monetisatio-wise. I'm actively involved in games that are worse and especially games that became worse, the best example of which is Overwatch. I don't think Destiny gamers could even comprehend how awful Overwatch became monetisation-wise. And that doesn't even begin to dive into other horrible practices in the gaming industry.

The point isn't to say that just because there's worse than Destiny, that Destiny is fine. It's definitely not and some things have certainly changed for the worse, though there were also horrible practices in Destiny before that were since removed. There used to be loot boxes. Like, actual gambling loot boxes. I would honestly just buy the ornaments directly rather than being tempted to buy 50 loot boxes and gamble. The only good part was that dismantling items from loot boxes could give you bright dust, but that makes sense for loot boxes that you had to buy with silver. So technically you bought that dust with silver. You could get them also for levelling so there's that, but that was really the only way to earn anything. Grind insane hours and hope for the best or take the easy way out: buying boxes for money. I cannot stress enough how much gambling is the worst predatory practice in existence in the gaming industry. Nothing else will ever be as detrimental and scummy as encouraging gambling. People don't really remember this or even know, but the switch to direct purchase is actually better.

However, of course, the increase in the amount of things that are silver-only is definitely felt. One of the worst parts is shaders for me. Shaders got no business being for silver and in bundles where you technically have to spend $10 for a shader. Event cards are also a sore spot; they're literally just Eververse bundles, but with extra steps that tie them to an event so you feel like you're earning stuff in gameplay. They come together with random currency (tickets) that stays unused unless you buy the card. It's 100% made to make people want to pay.

But sometimes the criticism on monetisation is also really superficial and from people who don't understand game development. One of the examples that people often use is dungeon key. Now, personally, I think that dungeon key should be separate for each dungeon instead of forcing you to buy 2 dungeons at once for $15. You should be able to buy just one. Like, come on. However, the idea that we have to pay for dungeons is not a predatory practice. It's content that has to be made and requires resources and dev hours (regardless of what people think of the dungeons). People will usually say "dungeons used to be available with seasons!" This is a lie.

Before WQ, we had 4 dungeons released since vanilla D2. Shattered Throne was the first and it was a part of the expansion. Pit of Heresy was second and it was a part of the expansion. Prophecy was a part of Season of Arrivals (!). And Grasp of Avarice was 30th Anniversary, a separate pack that had to be bought separately. Out of all dungeons available so far, only one was a part of the season and I genuinely don't even know how they managed that and I feel like some devs probably laboured over Prophecy essentially for free. So the idea that "dungeons were just for free in seasons" is just a lie. Only one was, an exception that possibly negatively impacted developers. If we want 2 dungeons per year, we will have to pay for them. And we do. It's either that, or maybe they can include one dungeon in the expansion and that's it. I wouldn't mind that, but the same people shitting on devs are also the people who shit on devs over "content droughts" and "not enough content" so I don't think that would satisfy them.

The point is that while some of the criticism is absolutely warranted, a lot of complete misunderstandings and lies often get mixed up with it and this all results in the situation we're in now where the only thing that the community is doing online is being negative and spiralling into dev harassment. And they end up feeling justified because the company is engaging in predatory practices. It's very easy to get into that mindset and to feel like you're not just allowed to harass, but encouraged.

The biggest issue with monetisation is always people who spend a lot of money aka whales. And by a lot, I mean a lot. Like there are people who buy every single thing in the store (and this is applied to all games). An average player buying a shader once in 3 months is not a problem. The whales are what shows up on marketing reports and what makes soulless capitalist ghouls add more of this shit to games. Which makes it even worse that the people who are perpetuating this hate train against monetisation riddled with incomplete misleading information and lies ARE WHALES. Aztecross who made the big video is a whale. Last time people checked his stream, he literally had 8000 silver in his account and people who watch his streams have said that he frequently has segments with his chat where they look at the store and he buys stuff, ON STREAM, while also asking his chat which items he should get. He's a hypocrite who is doing this to earn more money and is, to me, not any different from the soulless capitalist ghouls that work in gaming industry marketing departments.

The best thing he can do, if he cared about this topic, is to stop playing and stop making content about Destiny. Like, that's genuinely it. If he and other content creators like him are so serious about this topic and believe that the monetisation is such a serious problem in Destiny, they should stop spending money, stop playing, stop marketing the game and stop making content for it. There is no other way for Bungie to get the message, certainly not by going at random devs. And then after that, the next best step would be to involve yourself in political action to bring stricter laws to the whole gaming industry when it comes to predatory and anti-consumer practices.

In the meantime, serious talk: if any video game ever made you feel like you have to spend money, especially money you don't have, and you spent that money against your better judgement, please reach out to someone. It's not shameful and you're not alone. Games are a hobby and entertainment and should never put you in financial risk or ruin. If any video game is too much for you and you can no longer pay for it, but you feel like you have to keep playing and it's risking you financially, again, please reach out to someone. There are people who can help you deal with these feelings, especially if you know you can become addictive. The gaming industry as a whole preys on people's need for entertainment and dopamine rush and if you can't resist it on your own (which is, again, not a shameful thing), there's options to get help. This is mostly about the extra stuff like microtransactions, but it also works for just base game stuff. A year of Destiny content is cheaper than a year of some other games, but it doesn't mean that it's something everyone can afford. You can absolutely skip seasons or even expansions. You can also wait for them to be on sale and I always recommend looking out for sales anyway. There's genuinely very little value in being constantly pushed by FOMO and there IS a way to get out of the FOMO mentality. You can work on that, especially with people who can offer professional help if you need it.

Never let the capitalist scum control you.

[unloneliest]

okay also fuck ex friend for REAL for real for misgendering me on purpose in the twitter rants about how much i suck. even though he's also not cis

[possiblynotpayingattention]

WARNING: The final boss fight for "Shadow of the Erdtree" just got leaked and the Wiki is filled with spoilers!

It's a MASSIVE spoiler for both gameplay and lore.

Be WARNED!

If you don't want the ending ruined before June 21st, avoid social media sites like Twitter, the Elden Ring Wiki pages and the sub-reddits for ER.

TIME TO GO DARK, SOULS FOLKS!

See you on the 21st! ⚔️

[evenmorebeetles]

If you are able to vote in elections and you chose not to because all the options suck, I cannot emphasize enough how much every single one of your local librarians hates you

[piplupod]

i really really really wish everything just had a b&w concrete answer. to be entirely honest i am so tired of nuance because almost nobody seems to be able to hold it in their hands, everything (<-generalization) is always (<-generalization) all or nothing with ppl. i feel like i am insane. i desperately wish i could just join the all-or-nothing mentality but unfortunately i know that's like... pretty much never the answer (sometimes it is! there are cases where it is actually applicable!)

i feel like this sounds so pretentious (and whiny) but the gist of it is i am Tired and i wish everything was as clear-cut as ppl make it out to be because then i wouldnt have to be constantly thinking over and reassessing opinions and morals and tearing apart every single thing i feel/hear/read/see/etc.

i would like to just be able to hold up a pitchfork and run around with it going after "the other side" instead of sitting on the fence listening to both sides and thinking over it all carefully before leaning towards one of the directions, watching with tired horror and a bad feeling in my stomach as everyone riots around me.