#this is human Cori again

[glimmerpearl]

If you’re a book lover you get it

[acearohippo]

Sees Cory for the first time: hooray! A new child sprite :D

Cory:

Me: *clutches heart, dying of cuteness overload* oh he's a main character. So precious.

[cloudshapedpatch]

oh no guys the leaves are changing color,,,,,what's happening to me i can feel all the queerness leaving my body,,,,,,

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The true post-cyberpunk hero is a noir forensic accountant

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TOMORROW (Apr 17) in CHICAGO, then Torino (Apr 21) Marin County (Apr 27), Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

I was reared on cyberpunk fiction, I ended up spending 25 years at my EFF day-job working at the weird edge of tech and human rights, even as I wrote sf that tried to fuse my love of cyberpunk with my urgent, lifelong struggle over who computers do things for and who they do them to.

That makes me an official "post-cyberpunk" writer (TM). Don't take my word for it: I'm in the canon:

https://tachyonpublications.com/product/rewired-the-post-cyberpunk-anthology-2/

One of the editors of that "post-cyberpunk" anthology was John Kessel, who is, not coincidentally, the first writer to expose me to the power of literary criticism to change the way I felt about a novel, both as a writer and a reader:

https://locusmag.com/2012/05/cory-doctorow-a-prose-by-any-other-name/

It was Kessel's 2004 Foundation essay, "Creating the Innocent Killer: Ender's Game, Intention, and Morality," that helped me understand litcrit. Kessel expertly surfaces the subtext of Card's Ender's Game and connects it to Card's politics. In so doing, he completely reframed how I felt about a book I'd read several times and had considered a favorite:

https://johnjosephkessel.wixsite.com/kessel-website/creating-the-innocent-killer

This is a head-spinning experience for a reader, but it's even wilder to experience it as a writer. Thankfully, the majority of literary criticism about my work has been positive, but even then, discovering something that's clearly present in one of my novels, but which I didn't consciously include, is a (very pleasant!) mind-fuck.

A recent example: Blair Fix's review of my 2023 novel Red Team Blues which he calls "an anti-finance finance thriller":

https://economicsfromthetopdown.com/2023/05/13/red-team-blues-cory-doctorows-anti-finance-thriller/

Fix – a radical economist – perfectly captures the correspondence between my hero, the forensic accountant Martin Hench, and the heroes of noir detective novels. Namely, that a noir detective is a kind of unlicensed policeman, going to the places the cops can't go, asking the questions the cops can't ask, and thus solving the crimes the cops can't solve. What makes this noir is what happens next: the private dick realizes that these were places the cops didn't want to go, questions the cops didn't want to ask and crimes the cops didn't want to solve ("It's Chinatown, Jake").

Marty Hench – a forensic accountant who finds the money that has been disappeared through the cells in cleverly constructed spreadsheets – is an unlicensed tax inspector. He's finding the money the IRS can't find – only to be reminded, time and again, that this is money the IRS chooses not to find.

This is how the tax authorities work, after all. Anyone who followed the coverage of the big finance leaks knows that the most shocking revelation they contain is how stupid the ruses of the ultra-wealthy are. The IRS could prevent that tax-fraud, they just choose not to. Not for nothing, I call the Martin Hench books "Panama Papers fanfic."

I've read plenty of noir fiction and I'm a long-term finance-leaks obsessive, but until I read Fix's article, it never occurred to me that a forensic accountant was actually squarely within the noir tradition. Hench's perfect noir fit is either a happy accident or the result of a subconscious intuition that I didn't know I had until Fix put his finger on it.

The second Hench novel is The Bezzle. It's been out since February, and I'm still touring with it (Chicago tonight! Then Turin, Marin County, Winnipeg, Calgary, Vancouver, etc). It's paying off – the book's a national bestseller.

Writing in his newsletter, Henry Farrell connects Fix's observation to one of his own, about the nature of "hackers" and their role in cyberpunk (and post-cyberpunk) fiction:

https://www.programmablemutter.com/p/the-accountant-as-cyberpunk-hero

Farrell cites Bruce Schneier's 2023 book, A Hacker’s Mind: How the Powerful Bend Society’s Rules and How to Bend Them Back:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/06/trickster-makes-the-world/

Schneier, a security expert, broadens the category of "hacker" to include anyone who studies systems with an eye to finding and exploiting their defects. Under this definition, the more fearsome hackers are "working for a hedge fund, finding a loophole in financial regulations that lets her siphon extra profits out of the system." Hackers work in corporate offices, or as government lobbyists.

As Henry says, hacking isn't intrinsically countercultural ("Most of the hacking you might care about is done by boring seeming people in boring seeming clothes"). Hacking reinforces – rather than undermining power asymmetries ("The rich have far more resources to figure out how to gimmick the rules"). We are mostly not the hackers – we are the hacked.

For Henry, Marty Hench is a hacker (the rare hacker that works for the good guys), even though "he doesn’t wear mirrorshades or get wasted chatting to bartenders with Soviet military-surplus mechanical arms." He's a gun for hire, that most traditional of cyberpunk heroes, and while he doesn't stand against the system, he's not for it, either.

Henry's pinning down something I've been circling around for nearly 30 years: the idea that though "the street finds its own use for things," Wall Street and Madison Avenue are among the streets that might find those uses:

https://craphound.com/nonfic/street.html

Henry also connects Martin Hench to Marcus Yallow, the hero of my YA Little Brother series. I have tried to make this connection myself, opining that while Marcus is a character who is fighting to save an internet that he loves, Marty is living in the ashes of the internet he lost:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/07/dont-curb-your-enthusiasm/

But Henry's Marty-as-hacker notion surfaces a far more interesting connection between the two characters. Marcus is a vehicle for conveying the excitement and power of hacking to young readers, while Marty is a vessel for older readers who know the stark terror of being hacked, by the sadistic wolves who're coming for all of us:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I44L1pzi4gk

Both Marcus and Marty are explainers, as am I. Some people say that exposition makes for bad narrative. Those people are wrong:

https://maryrobinettekowal.com/journal/my-favorite-bit/my-favorite-bit-cory-doctorow-talks-about-the-bezzle/

"Explaining" makes for great fiction. As Maria Farrell writes in her Crooked Timber review of The Bezzle, the secret sauce of some of the best novels is "information about how things work. Things like locks, rifles, security systems":

https://crookedtimber.org/2024/03/06/the-bezzle/

Where these things are integrated into the story's "reason and urgency," they become "specialist knowledge [that] cuts new paths to move through the world." Hacking, in other words.

This is a theme Paul Di Filippo picked up on in his review of The Bezzle for Locus:

https://locusmag.com/2024/04/paul-di-filippo-reviews-the-bezzle-by-cory-doctorow/

Heinlein was always known—and always came across in his writings—as The Man Who Knew How the World Worked. Doctorow delivers the same sense of putting yourself in the hands of a fellow who has peered behind Oz’s curtain. When he fills you in lucidly about some arcane bit of economics or computer tech or social media scam, you feel, first, that you understand it completely and, second, that you can trust Doctorow’s analysis and insights.

Knowledge is power, and so expository fiction that delivers news you can use is novel that makes you more powerful – powerful enough to resist the hackers who want to hack you.

Henry and I were both friends of Aaron Swartz, and the Little Brother books are closely connected to Aaron, who helped me with Homeland, the second volume, and wrote a great afterword for it (Schneier wrote an afterword for the first book). That book – and Aaron's afterword – has radicalized a gratifying number of principled technologists. I know, because I meet them when I tour, and because they send me emails. I like to think that these hackers are part of Aaron's legacy.

Henry argues that the Hench books are "purpose-designed to inspire a thousand Max Schrems – people who are probably past their teenage years, have some grounding in the relevant professions, and really want to see things change."

(Schrems is the Austrian privacy activist who, as a law student, set in motion the events that led to the passage of the EU's General Data Privacy Regulation:)

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/15/out-here-everything-hurts/#noyb

Henry points out that William Gibson's Neuromancer doesn't mention the word "internet" – rather, Gibson coined the term cyberspace, which, as Henry says, is "more ‘capitalism’ than ‘computerized information'… If you really want to penetrate the system, you need to really grasp what money is and what it does."

Maria also wrote one of my all-time favorite reviews of Red Team Blues, also for Crooked Timber:

https://crookedtimber.org/2023/05/11/when-crypto-meant-cryptography/

In it, she compares Hench to Dickens' Bleak House, but for the modern tech world:

You put the book down feeling it’s not just a fascinating, enjoyable novel, but a document of how Silicon Valley’s very own 1% live and a teeming, energy-emitting snapshot of a critical moment on Earth.

All my life, I've written to find out what's going on in my own head. It's a remarkably effective technique. But it's only recently that I've come to appreciate that reading what other people write about my writing can reveal things that I can't see.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/17/panama-papers-fanfic/#the-1337est-h4x0rs

Image: Frédéric Poirot (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/fredarmitage/1057613629 CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

[gabessquishytum]

Human AU! More asexual Dream agenda. Morpheus used to question his sexuality in his late teens and contemplated that he might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum. It seemed fine to him back then, that is, until he realized how much he didn't fit in when all the relationships his peers had seemed to revolve around sex. So, Morpheus started dating, went out with a few guys, but it died out naturally after a few dates because he refused to have sex. Eventually, he meets Calliope at the uni, and he's really in love and determined to do anything to make this work. They finally have sex, and...it's nothing spectacular. Morpheus just doesn't get why people seem to prioritize it so much (like, how can his friend Cori dedicate so much time to fucking his way through London when there're so many more interesting things to do? reading, for instance!). Anyway, as time goes by, Morpheus tries to really grasp this whole sexual aspect of relationship but it just evades him. He watches porn (it does nothing for him, but he switches on a video every now and then for educational purposes - maybe he'll see something that Calliope might like), tries his fair share of sex toys (some of them are nice, alright, but...cuddling in the blanket is nicer, still?), and comes to a spectacular conclusion that something is very wrong with him. After all, it's him who doesn't meet normal expectations. To make things worse, he starts to notice that Calliope avoids having sex with him (she's tired after work, has a headache, isn't in the mood, etc., and this goes on and on for weeks that turn into months), becomes more distant, and they slowly drift apart. It's a matter of time till they break up. Morpheus takes this as his personal failure, concentrates on his work, even goes to therapy, though he sabotages it before he can actually spell out that he thinks he's asexual, and...he doesn't date. Like, at all. Why set himself for another failure and disappointment? Enter Hob Gadling. They meet accidentally (or not so accidentally, if you ask Hob's elder sister), and Hob is smitten from the word go. He pursues Morpheus insistently yet never creepy; he is, in fact, very understanding and accommodating, and even though Morpheus bristled like a sad wet cat at first (and at second, too), he can't deny anymore that he's in love. He's scared shitless to fuck this up over sex again, but somehow, Hob manages to do the unthinkable: he puts Morpheus at ease. He figures out Morpheus is ace early on, and he's fine with wanking by himself till the end of time if his partner never ever wants to tumble in bed. There're other intimacies to be shared, they also matter! Morpheus doesn't believe him at first, but with time (and lots of cuddles), he cautiously accepts that this may be true. With sex no longer an obligation in his Google calendar, Morpheus even feels attraction...sometimes. It's a rare occasion, but Morpheus is shocked when he experiences it for the first time: he's never truly felt a desire before, and letting go feels scary. Hob is there for him and feels delighted to gently guide him in this exploration. And when Morpheus doesn't want anything sexual, which is most of the time? Hob's still happy with his magnificent husband, their Netflix evenings, disastrous baking, long romantic walks, endless literature discussions, and his right hand.

Gosh, i love this!!! Love the idea that Dream being able to change his perception of sex because it no longer feels like a chore or something that he's been forced into doing (by societal expectations). Mostly he's still not interested but occasionally if he does get a stirring of attraction or desire, he can plop himself down in Hob’s lap and be his pillow princess for an hour or two.

Calliope is probably the happiest person when she sees how content Dream is these days. She and Dream can be good friends (now Dream isn't psyching himself up to have sex with her, and she isn't just constantly getting the vibe that her husband doesn't want her). It's much nicer to have coffee and gossip.

And Dream gets to go home to his husband. Maybe they'll take a shower together, or dance around the kitchen and have a midnight feast. And they'll go to sleep after making out until their lips are sore. Dream will feel no expectations, except the expectation of Hob’s love. That is absolutely guaranteed.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

I have to admit the reveal that glitchtrap was the mimic was a p good twist like I vividly remember when hw came out and the fandom collectively went ???

Apparently the Mimic is controversial rn and you know what I'm gonna out myself as a HUGE Mimic fan. I'm obsessed with this little freak. I LOVE the narrative implications of him. I love the commentary on the dangers of AI. I love the metaphor for the cycle of abuse. But at the same time and in contrast, I ESPECIALLY love the fact that it basically became an antithesis to the idea of "cycling the same story over and over." We all thought Willy-boy escaped HELL but no! He's just a normal bitch who's still over there! The Mimic is just a copycat trying to make the original story happen again and the new characters will be fighting to break the narrative cycle. How fucking COOL is that for a sequel villain??? I fucking love it

also.... i dont remember if it was Cori or North who pointed this out to me, but it's pretty sick how the original video game's premise, if you missed the ghost newspapers, was that the animatronics were malfunctioning AI who didn't realize they weren't doing their jobs, and now the Mimic is doing the same thing. The Mimic Epilogues specifically rely on the Mimic not being able to tell humans from endoskeletons. It's so fucking cool

[t0ast-ghost]

S3 EP14 (Whom Gods Destroy) in what way?- nevermind probably the killing way. Okay. Well-

Just go:

- “A medicine with which the federation hopes to eliminate mental illness for all time.” WHAT. That is certainly a way to start an episode

- Cory is either going to die or is not actually a doctor. Well according to Marta I’m right about the latter

- they fucking knocked Spock out! (His named autocorrected to spoon lol)

- oh wait so the ‘cure for mental illness’ thing was REAL?

- goddamn why’s he stand like that

- Scott and McCoy are so confused

- Stigmatizing mental illness by showing that all characters who have it are violent. I get this is set in a prison but this is the only time they show any explicitly mentally ill characters and it’s to show that until there is a ‘fix’ they should be locked away for the safety of the public, which is not a good message to put onto tv. That is my problem with this episode, it’s spreading of stigmas and stereotypes.

- McCoy immediately saying that something’s wrong, ‘that’s not my boyfriend’

- Garth’s fashion sense is… awful

- getting distracted by Kirk’s ass

- oh my god that’s the first time anyone’s really threatened to harm Spock (edit: that’s a lie. That’s just a lie)

- Making the group of inmates all noticeably alien to make them seem like separate or fictional beings

- This argument? Live Spock reaction:

- “What is your reaction, Mr. Spock?” “Well, I find it [the dancing], uh, mildly interesting and somewhat nostalgic, if I understand the use of that word.” “Nostalgic?” “Yes, it is somewhat reminiscent of the dances that Vulcan children do in nursery school. Of course, the children are not so… well-coordinated.” Spock danced as a kid

- Kirk does not want her. Also he’s gay and one of his husbands is right there.

- “A dream that made Mr Spock and me brothers.” I think this is the first time Kirk and Spock refer to each other as anything other than friends… fascinating

- “Blind! Truly blind. Captain Kirk is your commanding officer, and you are his subordinate. And that is all.” Yeah but they’re husbands. Also this feeds into more of the ‘Kirk is designed to be a lonely character’ thing. He can’t even have a connection to his first officer :(

- damn they didn’t even let him infodump

- “No, thank you, I prefer to join Mr. Spock.” Yeah you would

- THEY HAVE AN ELECTRIC CHAIR ?!?

- I think the governor character is a stand in for McCoy, but they decided, ‘I guess we’ve tortured him enough’

- He’s sleepy

- And they’re kissing (edit: not sure who this is referring to)

- It’s always about getting to a control room and taking down a force field and never about kissing your boyfriend

- Spock coming to Kirk’s rescue? He finally got his knight in shining armour moment

- That’s not Kirk dammnit. He would never let Spock stay- oh wait it was Spock who was the imposter. Okay but where’s Spock

- Kirk’s little curl <3

- Kirk gets fucking shot. Second time he’s been knocked out this episode

- “You could serve as human sacrifice, for example.” “No, I wouldn’t enjoy that at all.” I love when they write Kirk as polite but obviously he’s got that Spock/McCoy sass rubbed off on him

- Kirk must be so disoriented. He got shot with a phaser and wakes up being held in a very uncomfortable position. Then he’s getting dragged places and beat up again.

- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS EPISODE. No. No. What the fuck. They just made her choke on gas and then blew her up. This is horrifying. I swear some of these episodes are on the level on horror movies

- It’s funny how Scott and McCoy are getting along (and running the ship together)

- oh okay Spock’s just been chilling

- DOUBLE NERVE PINCH

- OKAY Spock ACTUALLY gets to save his husband in distress this time by being the knight in shining armour

- Once again Spock does not solely abide by pure unemotional logic, he does not fuck around, but he does find out. He’ll get you.

- THEY DID NOT PULL A ‘which is the real Kirk’ ON SPOCK

- which ones got the bigger ass- who said that (edit: I do not remember writing that but it’s genuinely the best thing I’ve written)

- HE DECIDES TO WAIT. HOT GIRL SHIT

- Spock isn’t turned on at all during this fight

- HOT GIRL SHIT IS SHOOTING THE INTRUDER PRETENDING TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT

- The thing that turns on and off the force field is literally a switch that says on and off and is labelled ‘force field power’

- yay they win or smt

- ‘Why’d it take you so long to know it was me?’ ‘Well in simple words, captain. I didn’t want to shoot my fucking boyfriend.’

They cured mental illness… We’re done for tonight.

Masterpost

Teleplay by Lee Erwin

Story by Lee Erwin & Jerry Sohl

[valhargreeves]

Corintheus at cereal convention except it went differently,

Dream entered the hall with a name tag.

A nametag like all the guests were wearing. Of course The Corinthian had been surprised when he spotted Dream mid speech but no more shocked than the fact that what was said on Dream's nametag.

It said, "HELLO, I am The Corinthian's Husband."

Fucking hell, his face immediately turned red in irritation and embarrassment. He got off the stage abruptly and walking angrily to Dream. "What is this?"

"This is... me." Dream twirled his long ass coat, showing it off and smiling softly for a millisecond. "I'm not sure what you are referring to."

"No." He facepalmed, then pointed to the nametag. "That. What do you think you're doing?"

Dream had the audacity to look like a sad wet kitten that Cori didn't appreciate the dramatic long coat.

"Well....I needed one to get in-"

"No you fucking didn't you know that! Of course you followed that kind of rules."

"I may be a king, but I still have to be polite upon entering someone's...territory." Dream stated like it's the most important thing at the moment, when they both know their reunion is of destruction and unmaking, and revenge.

"Not the point, but you're fucking embarrassing me right now. What were you thinking?"

"Tch. Language, Corinthian."

Cori pulled his hair in frustration.

"Surely it isn't so bad... they all know...that you're gay?"

"Of course they know!"

"Then I don't see what seems to be the problem." Dream shrugged.

A silence.

"I have gotten married before, I know how to be a husband. If people got suspicious." convinced Dream. LIKE THAT WOULD HELP. AND NOT THE POINT.

"Nah, all your lovers left you."

Dream's face darkened in silent rage. If he kept going Dream wouldn't hesitate to unmake him right away.

"Sorry. Uh."

"It's...fine." Dream waved away.

"I'm learning to be forgiving. And... my husband would stay, wouldn't he?" There goes the threat. He only realized the crowd were paying attention to them the whole time when they made an "awww" sound. Someone yelled "just say yes dumbass or I'll steal that twink!" Remind Corinthian to kill that bitch later.

"Okay. I'll stay. And come home." The crowd cheered in support as Dream's face brightened in happiness. He attempted to smile as an angel would but failed miserably. Dream's smile isn't beautiful, they're scary as hell and Cori didn't know if the king ever noticed some people weren't made to smile. However the reward is appreciated just the same, he'd take what he could get.

"That's what I thought."

Another day, another Dream of the Endless getting whatever the hell he wanted.

-

Some other day;

Again, they're in the Waking world. They've compromised that Corinthian would no longer hunt down the humans. Unless they really, really deserved it. Dream could look the other way every once in a while.

Some rando who is Corinthian's fan: Hello, Corinthian I'm a fan of your works!

Cori: thanks

Them: and this is...? (They look at Dream)

Dream: you don't know who am I?

Them: no...am I supposed to?

Cori: (please, please control your temper. Don't cause a scene in the Waking world.)

Dream: I'm the Corinthian's Husband. 😊

[yallaya-blog]

Ok quick breakdown as to why I think Terra and Markus have so much rivalry!! Maybe its too late for this but SPOILER WARNING FOR SHOW ONLYS 🙏 and this is super long so bear with me

Terra and Markus don’t essentially hate eachother, theyre really just envious of eachothers lives, so really theyre just too blinded by jealousy to realize they don’t really hate eachother. We see them quarrel as young children but its nothing too major (markus breaking terras ipod). However whenever they are drawn in the same scene together (cory walkers doodle blog posts or again scenes from the actual comics) theyre drawn as young adults/exiting their teenage years, and its usually in a setting were Terras ascending down from the sky and Markus laying in rubble (presumably after a fight). I feel like this could be a metaphor for Terra looking down on him with pity, and Markus looking up at her with jealousy.

Markus is jealous of Terra’s life because shes an alien who was raised on an alien planet, whos always known shes an alien. Markus is an alien raised on a human planet, and didnt even know he was an alien up until he was 4, when mark told him of Viltrum’s origins. Terra is close to the empire (that she later chose to detach from which is okay!!) and their father and Markus is envious of that, hes envious that she seems to be automatically given their fathers validation (example of this would be her being taken on missions with Mark, being put into training under the mentorship of Kregg) meanwhile he feels like he has to earn it, that it has to be rewarded (him becoming earths new Imvincible, his reason for do-goodings being in hopes their father will recognize him and be proud, and to make him feel more included with the empire and their family. Terras life had a gradual shift from quiet to loud, Markus life is relatively quiet and discrete, but he desires that loud, adventurous life of his older sister. Markus also had to BUILD UP a team or join one, it isn’t really stated if he joined the NEWER guardians of the globe or not but he definitely worked along side them, meanwhile Terra had that team support already provided when she joined the Conservation Order (brinigng it up again later!) And a canon reason why Markus envies Terra is her conception in contrast to his (this is revealed after he attacks Mark). Markus says that he feels his existence is a constant reminder that he was made with hate and that Terra was made with love. He knew that Mark always loved Terra more, and he hated himself because he felt he could never be good enough for Mark BECAUSE of his conception (fuck u an*ssa). Markus feels his mother always doomed him to be bad, and that Terra’s mother destined her for greatness, because Eve is the love of Mark’s life, and an*ssa is a woman who traumatized Mark forever. Markus strives to fit what he thinks Marks narrative of greatness would be, and his way of doing that was carrying on his legacy as Invincible. Markus could also be envious that Terra got to know their uncle and grandfather before they died, they held her, talked back, meanwhile he has to talk to a cold grave that Nolan doesn’t even rest under.

Terra is envious of Markus’ life because he grew up in a two parent household (until an*ssa died during Mark’s battle with Thragg) with an emotionally available mother he could relate to (in terms of powers and species), and the people surrounding him didnt have a distaste for him because of his species considering they didnt (at the time) know he was a Viltrumite. Terra, up until she was 5, was raised by a single mother. This ofcourse isnt Eve nor Marks fault, he didnt intend on getting sucked back into the past for 5 years by some supernatural alien, and Eve didn’t intend on allowing him to leave for YEARS. Terra, being so young, was probably too young to understand why her father wasn’t there, and having him come back into her life after forgetting any memory of him, and then having him AND Eve have to leave to fight Thragg so he can’t harm their family again. Also canon reason when Thragg, Ursaal and Onaan temporarily “killed” her parents and permanently killed Oliver, she had a massive amount of guilt (has a panic attack after Haluma and Debbie catch her training, and on her back after crashing into the ceiling instead of playing with her infant cousins). She felt as if she was too weak to intervene or didn’t try hard enough to protect her family from harm and that she had failed her uncle, or failed to be strong. She feels Olivers obligation to protect her is what killed him, and it shattered her, that she feels because of her, her cousins are now fatherless and Halumas husband is gone. And when Haluma expressed she was afraid of losing her sons next, that definitely ignited a new found fear of Terras; getting killed and having her family weigh the guilt. Markus doesn’t have to bear the guilt of Olivers death, or feel guilty, but Terra does. Terra is envious that Markus always had that father figure beside him, shes jealous that Markus’ adoptive father Scott wasn’t bombarded with missions and enemies that could potentially harm her family or prevent him from being with them. Shes also jealous that the only “father” figure in her life before Mark came back was Kubian, Eves ex and Telia’s brother, and the first person to openly show distain for her for things she cant control (being a Viltrumite and a child), Eves ex who was a piece of shit. And he made it very clear to her that he hated her, while Markus had a loving adoptive father that doted on him and Molly, while her mother’s boyfriend hated her. Terra could also be jealous of the fact that, on a very mild scale, Markus can relate to his (disgusting) mother because they are the same species, look similar, and have the same abilities. In contrast to Eve, Terra and Eve are POLAR opposites, as opposite as mother and daughter can be. Terra doesnt look like Eve (shes 100% debbie/marks clone), she doesn’t have powers similar to Eves, they aren’t even exactly the same species. Markus could look to (BARF) anissa for guidance with his powers and understanding his herritage (well before she died), Terra couldn’t look to her mother to guide her because Eve isn’t a Viltrumite, and therefore lacks the knowledge to help Terra. Terras jealous that Markus has a quiet life with his loved ones that he has the option to be 1 on 1 with, without other people or events flocking in to interrupt, and the only quality time Terra gets with her parents after Marks coronation is being on a mission, training discipline, ex.

Their reasons for envying eachother are actually pretty similar, Terras is jealous of Markus’ dad being emotionally available, Markus is jealous of Terra’s father being their to validate and guide her. They both feel the need to achieve extravagant things in order to be great (Terra going to college to join the Conservation Order to save ecosystems and different planets, Markus becoming the new Invincible, carrying on Marks legacy). They both have major fights/battles, (Terras championship battle that she won against a man more than 5x her size, and Markus fighting that shadow creature that hurled Darkwing back up after he was thought to be dead after the Invincible War concluded). They also bear familial guilt, Markus is guilty of being the product of an event that traumatized Mark for life, and Terra weighs the guilt of being a contributing cause to Olivers death, he died protecting her, and all she could do was cry, because she wasn’t strong enough to fight back, and that there was nothing she could do to save him.

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE JUST LITTLE BABIES MY SILLIES I hope they have a more repaired relationship in the show as time goes on, and hopefully get more Molly screentime. I can’t wait to see what Cory’s been brewing up in his witches cauldron on his blog page for Terra and Markus HGEHEG

[autistic-dream]

I Will Always Protect You The Corinthian x NB! Reader

Fandom: The Sandmand

Plot: A Serial Killer wanting to get The Corinthian's attention. Goes after Reader. The Corinthian comes to Reader's rescue.

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence.

A/N: Reader uses they/them

≪•◦ ❈ ≪•◦ ❈ ≪•◦ ❈ ≪•◦ ❈ ~~~~~ ❈ ◦•≫ ❈ ◦•≫ ❈ ◦•≫ ❈ ◦•≫

It's been a long day. All you wanted to do was eat and sleep. Maybe curled up on the couch and watching some B rated horror movie with The Corinthian. Your phone rings. You answer it.

"Hello, Sweetheart." The Corinthian says. He is not one for using your given name. He insteady likes to use nicknames. Some of them are cute like sweetheart. And others are downright ridiculous.

"Hey, Cori." you smile. "I am done. I just gotta drive home." you say, unlocking your car door.

"Great. I have a surprise for you when you get home."

"Better be a hot meal."

"You will love it," he says. You laugh opening the car door.

"I always-" you feel something hit the back of your head sending you to the ground and the phone. You can hear your name faintly being called but you aren't sure who's calling you. You blackout.

≪•◦ ❈ ≪•◦ ❈ ≪•◦ ❈ ≪•◦ ❈ ~~~~~ ❈ ◦•≫ ❈ ◦•≫ ❈ ◦•≫ ❈ ◦•≫

When you wake up you're tied to a chair. The back of your head throbs. You feel a hand grip your chin tilting it up. You see a man looking down at you. He cocks his head to the side.

"So this is The Corinthian's heart." he laughs. "You were way too easy to catch little bird." he takes his blade pressing the tip into your cheek and gently dragging it down your jaw.

You wince as you feel it cut and feel the warm blood pour down your face.

"Please don't do this." You beg, though it is more so for his sake than your own. You know how The Corinthian is. You know how he gets.

"Please don't do this," he mocks you. He slashes you again with the blade.

"Why are you doing this?" your voice shakes. You are trying to buy yourself time. You are trying to keep yourself alive until you can figure out a plan of until Corinthian can get here.

"Because I want to be him." he says. "And I need you to draw him out." he waves the blade in your face. A little too close to your eyes.

"You want to be the next Corinthian?" you ask

"I do." he smiles. The thing is he could never be. There has only ever been one.

"Tell me more." You say. "It's the least you could do before you kill me."

"I will be better than him. More skillful." he leaves another cut on your face. Making you wince. He places the blade to close to the corner of your eye. Pressing down slightly on the his blade. "You look so pretty when you cry." he says.

"There is only and has only ever been one Corinthian." You hear a familiar voice. You see Corinthian walk up behind the man. He looks unamused.

"Last I checked humans don't live that long." the man scoffs.

"You have my attention," Corinthian says. His voice is cold. "Now why don't you come over here and we can have a little chat. Collector to Collector."

"I don't think I will." the man says. "I think carving up your partner is a much better idea." he puts the blade to your throat. You can feel it

"You don't want to do that." Corinthian takes a step forward. He reaches up taking his sunglasses off. "See I am not human. And I don't take kindly to you touching what's mine." He looks at the man laughing.

You have only seen Corinthian a handful of times with his sunglasses off so the two tiny mouths where his eyes should be doesn't surprise you. The man however is suprised.

"What the fuck...what the fuck are you."

"I am a nightmare. And I will give you a headstart."

"What?" the man sounds confused.

"Run." he says, the man does, but not before knocking your chair over. You are thankful you cannot see what happens as Corinthian chases the man down. You can hear the screams, and the sudden stop of them.

Before Corinthian walks back over. He lifts the chair back up. He has his sunglasses placed back onto his face. He looks at you.

"Are you alright {y/n}?" he asks, untying you. He cups your face in his hands. It must be serious if he is using your name.

"I...I am fine." you reply. "Just the cuts hurt."

"We will get you cleaned up." he says helping you up. You turn your head to look behind you. But he stops you.

"You don't want to see trust me." he says kissing your forehead. He takes you home. Cleans up the cuts and carefully bandages them up. Let him tuck you into bed. You use his chest as a pillow curling up like a cat next to him.

You really aren't sure what else to say. What does one say to this? You knew this was a risk when you started dating him.

"He wanted to be you." you say quietly.

"There can only be one me."

"He wasn't very good at it." you laugh. "No manners at all." you smile now. It's funny. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Of course I will." He says. "I will keep any nightmares away." he kisses you. "I am glad you are ok."

"I am glad you came."

"I will always protect you." he whispers, kissing your forehead. "Now try to get some sleep." he says. You close your eyes and let yourself drift off to sleep.

He keeps his promise. You have no nightmares as you sleep.

≪•◦ ❈ ≪•◦ ❈ ≪•◦ ❈ ≪•◦ ❈ ~~~~~ ❈ ◦•≫ ❈ ◦•≫ ❈ ◦•≫ ❈ ◦•≫

[vo-kopen]

So Pokémon Go has added the new feature of taking photos of multiple Pokémon at once, so to celebrate me beginning to edit an old story again, here are my Pokémon stand ins for that story’s leads: the All-Human and Cory.

The All-Human is the avatar of humanity, and can shapeshift between every species of the Homo genus. Cory is similar, he is the avatar of corvids and can take the form of any member of the genus Corvus. The All-Human depends on paleontologists and archeologists uncovering new species of prehistoric humans to gain new form, and rarely do those forms vary much in ability. Cory gets more out of his forms given the many crows and ravens alive today and they have pretty different abilities. Together they fight against systematic injustice as vigilantes, in the story they help stop ACID (American Central Immigration Department, no relation to other elementally-named agencies that oppress immigrants) from rounding up a number of Latinx folks.

To celebrate me getting through my Autistic Inertia to start reading the original Jekyll and Hyde story, I have started writing a sequel about a villainess who uses samples of the All-Human’s blood to take the form of a Homo floresiensis. (They were short hominids) as a Homo floresiensis not only does she look different but her DNA and fingerprints are unrecognizable, but she is still in possession of her faculties. It’s effectively a child-sized disguise to use to do whatever she wants, with most folks assuming her crimes are the actions of the All-Human, since Homo floresiensis is extinct.

@thefingerfuckingfemalefury @nitpickrider @majingojira enjoy these snapshots of the Pokémon I use to represent my vigilante duo. For the record, the All- Human consider herself and Cory partners, it’s just usually they deal with human social problems. Crows have less war crimes going on. She’s a butch lesbian Autistic, and there is a theme that people react to her forms like she is subhuman, and that it feels all too familiar for her as a queer masc presenting Autistic.

[this-aint-massachusetts]

My future man au is finally done!!! After 1000 million years, so now ima yap about it. Warning for a long ass post.

First imma say all the characters that will be in the series:

Josh Futturman

Gabe Futturman

Diane Futturman

Ty-Anne ‘Tiger’ (her real name is Ty-Anne but goes by Tiger because I felt that made sense and would be less confusing for another character)

Cory ‘Wolf’ Wolfhart

Stu Camilo

Ty-Anne (I’ll explain this later)

Elias Kronish

Lucy ‘Lugnut’ Wolfhart (yeah she doesn’t canonically have a ‘real’ name but I gave her one cuz I can)

Jeri Lang (yay she’s not a bloody pulp!!)

Joosh Futturman (once again I’ll explain later)

J26 (will once again be explained later)

The Cluster (they might be taken out later though because I’m not quite sure how they’d fit into this au)

Marigold Kronish

[more might be added or removed later]

Here Biotics do still exist but they’re more calmer and less murdery so humans and Biotics now just coexist without wanting to kill and so there’s also no resistance. As well as Tiger still has part biotic in her.

So to explain a few character ‘duplicates’; Joosh, Josh, and J26 here all are separate people despite looking similar. Joosh is a far off cousin to the Futturmans who is still famous off his video games and energy drinks (and is still an asshole), J26 was another kid in the foster system like Josh he just got adopted way before him. As for Tiger and Ty-Anne, they’re both cousins, Ty-Anne being Stu’s daughter still and Tiger only living with the two because her mother is currently missing and/or just dead.

Following up with the foster system, this au is inspired by @dottsdraws foster au so J26 and Josh were both adopted yet J26 was adopted way before Josh was so he’s around 17 while Josh is 14.

Speaking of ages, this is kinda like a high school au so I think I should get into that a bit.

The school is a k-12

(The only ages that follow canon is Kronish, Marigold, Diane, Gabe and Stu so I won’t be putting those down) The ages in this is:

Josh - 15

Tiger - 15

Wolf - 15

Joosh - 23

Ty-Anne - 17

Jeri - 16

Lugnut - 13

J26 - 17

So Jeri is still a biotic yet since biotics are more peaceful here they don’t have the bombs in their necks anymore yet I still wanted to involve some kinda explosion thing for her so I made it that she has an interest in explosives because I’m silly like that.

Josh here also still has a crush on Jeri, she doesn’t like him like he likes her but like in canon she’s still a bit manipulative so she kinda screws around with him but doesn’t like him at all.

Now here is where I get into some headcanons for this so if you don’t like that you can skip this part or don’t yet please don’t be an ass about my headcanons.

So it’s implied in this au that Tiger is sapphic, it’s not really said directly and she doesn’t have a love interest but she is sapphic. As well as she’s nonbinary yet still uses fem pronouns (remember! Pronouns ≠ gender!). Josh is trans FtM that’s a main plot point of his character arc so it’s more main, as well as he’s bisexual. Like Tiger it isn’t directly said but Wolf is bisexual as well and his also FtM trans yet that also isn’t very much of a main plot point. For Jeri I wouldn’t consider her aroace but she doesn’t have interest with getting with anyone but still flirts with basically everyone no matter gender so I guess maybe she’d be demisexual and aromantic? And she’s transfem because I’m js silly like that.

K now that I’m done with that ima move onto some family relationships.

As said earlier, Tigers mother and father are either dead or missing so she lives with her uncle Stu and her cousin Ty-Anne. Lugnut and Wolf are siblings but Wolf is technically her legal caretaker because like Tigers parents they’re either dead or missing. Josh and J26 are both adopted siblings by Gabe and Diane as well as Joosh being a far off cousin.

Now ima get back to the school au thing for a second.

So since it is a school instead of Kronish and Stu being scientists, Kronish is the principal and Stu is the vice principal. Jeri is the class president yet Ty-Anne keeps trying to take that role over. J26 is there yet everyone in the school thinks he’s dead because he just hides in a classroom all day.

Not related to much but Josh has a pet chinchilla named Chimmy :3

Everyone except for Josh has a sorta love-hate relationship with Jeri. As well as in the story it won’t be brought up much but it’s implied that Jeri and Tiger dated briefly but it ended up in a messy break up which is why Tiger doesn’t like her all to much. (Oh and the explosives too, she doesn’t like her explosives)

Okay that was… a lot…. But that’s it for now. Like I said more will be added/removed if I decide to but that’s all I got for now. I’m tired see y’all sometime

[autistic-fool-with-ideas]

TELL M,E ABOUT THE CRAZY LORE... its been actual years i dont rember please tell me /vvpos

OH BOY WHERE DO I START

Let’s see, Cory is the biggest lore figure with all his shit

First off, the creepypasta series is almost definitely his teenage years (bro fucked around and found out), and it presumably takes place in the 90s.

Cory is

The son of the scarlet king

The scarlet prince

Severely emotionally fucked up and is pretending he isn’t

Basically a god considering he can manipulate MATTER

The brother of 682 (not a surprise really I think everyone could see that coming)

BUT IT DOESNT STOP THERE OH NO

We got mother fucking Hooper over here

Mr. “I can smell SCPS and I saw the shy guys face and I was fine” he’s never explicitly stated to be an SCP but.

Come on.

He gets MURDERED by Cory, is then popped into the upgrade machine, becomes a mind controlled Cyborg, gets shot by Cory AGAIN (with the nerfing gun) and is a human again, gets completely disillusioned with the foundation and leaves, sometime after joins the serpents hand, and then helps Cory escape the possession of SCP SATAN.

Lara is fucking awesome but Alice was a little hater and shot her dead

Trianna becomes a site director and is just kinda. Chilling over there as the rest of the team goes through it

Serpents hand is still chill as fuck tho

CORY FREES THE SCARLET KING???

Oh also he befriends everyone in a two meter radius except for 05 members it’s crazy

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Saturday linkdump, part the sixth

On September 12 at 7pm, I'll be at Toronto's Another Story Bookshop with my new book The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation.

On September 14, I'm hosting the EFF Awards in San Francisco.

I usually write this blog 5-6 days/week, but every now and again, I take a break, and when I do, I get massive link backlogs of stuff I want to write about, but lack the time to address in depth. When that happens, I turn my Saturday edition into a linkdump. Today, I present the sixth in the series – here's the other five:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

Why was I offline and away from my blog? I went to the dirt rave. Yes, I was one of the 70,000+ people stuck in the mud at this year's Burning Man, and when I emailed my editor at the New York Times to say I might be late on the op-ed I was working on, she asked me to write about what this year's mud crisis meant:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/06/opinion/burning-man-flood-playa-climate-change.html

tl;dr:

Bad weather is normal at Burning Man (it's a feature, not a bug);

Mostly burners leapt to the occasion, which is what people almost always do in disaster situations;

This is the second Burning Man heavy weather year in a row;

The climate emergency is tipping the Black Rock Desert from "extremely challenging" to "impossible";

This isn't the last event, place and tradition that will have to be radically reconsidered in light of the climate emergency;

But now I'm home, in my hammock, with all the laundry done – just in time to leave again. I'm about to head back to my hometown of Toronto for a book launch. The Internet Con, my latest nonfiction (from Verso Books) came out last week, and I'll be appearing at Another Story Bookshop on Tuesday:

https://anotherstory.ca/events/29283

Internet Con is a "Big Tech disassembly manual." It explains how Big Tech got so big (lax anti-monopoly enforcement, which led to regulatory capture, which let Big Tech abuse our privacy, labor rights, and consumer rights), and how we can use interoperability so it's no longer Too Big to Fail, nor Too Big to Jail:

https://www.versobooks.com/products/3035-the-internet-con

You can read a long excerpt from the book in Wired, which lays out some of the shovel-ready legislative, regulatory and technical proposals that are the book's main purpose:

https://www.wired.com/story/the-internet-con-cory-doctorow-book-excerpt/

You can also hear me read the whole introduction and first chapter of the audiobook on my podcast:

https://craphound.com/internetcon/2023/08/01/the-internet-con-how-to-seize-the-means-of-computation-audiobook-outtake/

That comes from the audiobook, a DRM-free, independent edition that I financed, produced and narrated myself. You can get the audiobook everywhere except Audible, Apple Books, and Audiobooks.com, all of which have mandatory DRM policies. You can also get it direct from me:

https://transactions.sendowl.com/products/78992826/DEA0CE12/purchase

The DRM-free ebook is available everywhere ebooks are sold (Kobo, Kindle, Nook, etc), as well as in my own DRM-free ebook store:

https://transactions.sendowl.com/products/78992801/9C4FC2B8/purchase

Verso's books are sold in bookstores around the world; you can support your local bookseller by buying it through Bookshop:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-internet-con-how-to-seize-the-means-of-computation-cory-doctorow/18771891?ean=9781804291245

If you'd like a signed copy, there's stock at Book Soup:

https://www.booksoup.com/book/9781804291245

Now, it was inevitable that I would do a book event for Internet Con in Toronto – I've never had a bad event there, and I love my hometown – but the timing of this event was driven by a non-book-related factor. Talking Heads is appearing together at TIFF, to support the re-release of Stop Making Sense, the greatest concert film in human history:

https://pluralistic.net/StopMakingSense

People often ask me what my favorite book is, and I always tell them that you should never trust people who have one favorite book, as it inevitably turns out to be The Bible, The Fountainhead, or Mein Kampf. But while I don't have a favorite book, I have a clear and unambiguous favorite band.

If I was forced to listen to no music other than Talking Heads for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly happy. Ecstatic, even. Throw in David Byrne, Tom Tom Club and Casual Gods and I probably wouldn't even notice anything missing.

There's a running joke among my Burning Man campmates that whenever I'm in charge of the music, I'm just shuffling Talking Heads rarities, and whenever someone puts on anything else, I demand to know which Talking Heads album it came from. Which is all to say: I have tickets for the Talking Heads event at TIFF and I could *not be more excited.*

Continuing on the Canadian theme, one of the annual highlights of Canadian media is the Massey Lectures, a series of public lectures given around the country and rebroadcast on CBC. These are always great, but recent years have been superb – Ron Deibert's 2020 series was unmissable:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/11/10/dark-matter/#citizenlab

This year's Masseys are shaping up to be the GOAT. They're presented by Astra Taylor, an activist rock-and-roller turned documentary filmmaker who is one of the founders of the Debt Collective, fighting for student debt cancellation. Everything Astra does is amazing and her profile on CBC Ideas gives some background on the role that unschooling played in making her the powerful activist she is today:

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/ideas/astra-taylor-interview-2023-massey-lecturer-1.6959320

There's no question that things are messed up right now, but Astra and people like her shine out like beacons of hope. 17 years ago, self-described "democracy nut" Tom Stites gave one of the seminal lectures on the role news media play in democracy:

http://citmedia.org/blog/2006/07/03/guest-posting-is-media-performance-democracys-critical-issue/

17 years later – and from his perch as editor at the essential International Consortium of Investigative Journalists – Stites presents us a long-overdue, extremely pertinent followup: "Building Civic Energy is the Goal, Not Saving Old News Business Models":

https://banyanproject.coop/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Hope-College-speech-for-Banyan-website-1.pdf

Stites's intervention is extremely timely, because policymakers all over the world have made the mistake of thinking that Big Tech is stealing the news media's content, which is absolutely untrue. It is good, actually, to index news stories and let people discuss, quote from and link to news stories. News you're not allowed to talk about isn't news, it's a secret.

But Big Tech is stealing from news. They're not stealing content – they're stealing money. The Google/Apple duopoly rakes 30% off every subscription payment collected in an app. The Google/Meta duopoly rakes 51% out of every ad-dollar (and maintain that death-grip through creepy, privacy-invading surveillance ads). Meta and Twitter hold social media subscribers hostage, forcing publishers to pay to reach their own subscribers.

We don't want the news to be Big Tech's partners – we need them to be Big Tech's watchdogs. "Link taxes" and other profit-sharing arrangements between the media and tech cut against the civic energy Stites wants to build.

(You can read more about this – along with policy prescriptions for halting Big Tech's rent-extraction from the news – in "Saving the News From Big Tech," my EFF white-paper:)

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/04/saving-news-big-tech

If your spirits are lifted by stories of principled activists achieving important – and improbable – victories, you could do worse than to attend the EFF Awards on in San Francisco Sept 14 (I'm the emcee). This year, we're honoring Alexandra Elbakyan for her founding of Sci-Hub, the Library Freedom Project and the Signal Foundation:

https://www.eff.org/awards/effawards/2023

In more activist news: Mozilla produced a startling and astoundingly good – if demoralizing – report on the state of digital privacy and security in the automotive sector:

https://foundation.mozilla.org/en/privacynotincluded/articles/its-official-cars-are-the-worst-product-category-we-have-ever-reviewed-for-privacy/

Entitled, "It’s Official: Cars Are the Worst Product Category We Have Ever Reviewed for Privacy," the report reveals just how absolutely terrible the automotive sector is when it comes to privacy practices, collecting (and selling) (and giving away) information about your sex life, your geneology, your genetic characteristics, and your smell (no, seriously).

Their recommendations for which new car you should buy boil down to "don't buy a new car." I have been urging consumer research groups to release a report like this for a decade. There are whole categories of gadgets – like, say, "smart speakers" – that are unsafe at any speed. At a certain point, reviewers need to have the guts to say that every manufacturer in an entire sector is a dumpster fire and they should all be dragged in front of a firing squad – or at least a Congressional committee.

Cars, after all, are nightmares of privacy invasion and rent-extraction, the source of autoenshittification on a massive scale, a mobile form of technofeudalism:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

The fact that cars score so badly on privacy is especially ironic given the campaign Big Car waged against the 2020 Massachusetts Right to Repair ballot initiative, in which car manufacturers held themselves out as the defenders of driver privacy from unscrupulous third parties who couldn't be trusted to handle the vast troves of data your car collects with every hour that God sends:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms

This is a familiar refrain: monopolists often claim that any check on their absolute authority over their users will expose those users to privacy risks. Apple has run a global ad-campaign claiming this, and while Apple does prevent Facebook from spying on iPhone owners, they also secretly spy on those customers in exactly the same way that Facebook used to, and lie about it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

It turns out that giant companies just aren't good proxies for their customers' interests, and that the power they amass through monopolization shouldn't be counted on as a source of user safety. Monopolists won't reliably defend user privacy – that job belongs to democratically accountable regulators. That's an argument I developed in detail with Bennett Cyphers in our EFF white-paper "Privacy Without Monopoly":

https://www.eff.org/wp/interoperability-and-privacy

That is, rather than getting privacy by "voting with your wallet," you need to get it by voting with your ballot. "The market" is an election that you vote in with dollars, which means that the people with the most dollars always win. When there are zero cars on the market that are safe to drive, you can't vote with your wallet by buying a good one.

On a related subject, the DOJ Antitrust Division has brought the most important tech anti-monopoly case of the century, charging Google with monopolizing search:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/06/technology/modern-internet-first-monopoly-trial-us-google-dominance.html

Part of the DOJ case turns on the fact that Google goes to extraordinary lengths to keep you from every trying another search engine, paying out more than $45 billion every year to be the default search on every device, program and service you might use. In other words, Google spends entire Twitter's worth of dollars every year, lighting it on fire to keep you from finding out about rivals.

Google argues that this is fine, actually, because these are only defaults, and users can dig through their settings to change their search engine. Sure, Google – and the first 20 search results you serve are only defaults, and it wouldn't matter if you were ordered to put them ten screens down, because users could always scroll to see them.

But search defaults aren't the only way that Google locks in searchers – and then harms us by invading our privacy. Google's ubiquitous Chrome browser ties Google's search to Google's invasive, nonconsensual, total surveillance. Chrome turned 15 this year and Google made a huge PR splash out of the anniversary:

https://blog.google/products/chrome/google-chrome-new-features-redesign-2023/

But all that puffery conspicuously failed to mention that Google had quietly rolled out its long-discredited, new surveillance technology, FLOC, which it pretended to kill in 2021:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/22/ihor-kolomoisky/#not-that-competition

FLOC is back, rebranded as the Topics API: this is a system for spying on you so advertisers can target you. Google is spinning this as a privacy improvement because it might someday replace "third party cookies," one of the creepiest web surveillance systems.

But as Ron Amadeo writes for Ars Technica, Chrome is the last major browser to support third party cookies – both Safari and Firefox block them by default. So Google is basically saying, "We are going to improve your privacy by changing how we spy on you, even though all our competitors don't do this kind of spying at all":

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2023/09/googles-widely-opposed-ad-platform-the-privacy-sandbox-launches-in-chrome/

This kind of gaslighting, where Google pisses in all our mouths and tells us it's raining, is the hallmark of a decrepit, arrogant, crapulent monopolist that needs to be shattered in the courts. Kudos to the DoJ for doing the people's business here – and kudos to DoJ antitrust boss Jonathan Kanter for promising that he will not go into corporate law when he finishes his stint in government.

The DoJ isn't the only public agency that's serving the American people. The FCC just announced proceedings to force cybersecurity labels for "smart" devices:

https://www.fcc.gov/consumer-governmental-affairs/fcc-proposes-cybersecurity-labeling-program-smart-devices

This is long overdue, and it's a welcome action from the FCC, which was hamstrung for years because cowardly Democratic senators joined with homophobic, libelous Republicans in blocking confirmation hearings for the amazing Gigi Sohn:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/15/useful-idiotsuseful-idiots/#unrequited-love

After years of abuse, Sohn bowed out. Now, Anna Gomez has been confirmed to fill that fifth FCC chair, turning the FCC into a fully operational battle station:

https://www.fiercewireless.com/wireless/senate-votes-approve-anna-gomez-5th-fcc-commissioner

The fact that there's all this great stuff going on in the administrative branch is easy to lose sight of amidst the circus of federal electoral politics, in which Donald Trump has retained his role as ringmaster and chief distractor.

Thankfully, we have expert Pantsless Emperor skewerers like Ruben Bolling around – his latest Tom the Dancing Bug revives his brilliant Calvin and Hobbes-inspired Trump gag:

https://boingboing.net/2023/09/06/tom-the-dancing-bug-a-calvinesque-and-hobbesian-look-at-taking-a-mug-shot.html

Well, that's me signing off for the weekend – I've got to pack for my flight to Toronto. If you're looking for more weekend fun, check out the trailer for Fractured Veil, the video game my old pal Chris DiBona has been working on for seven years and which is heading for Steam early access next month:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjNd3QQnENU

Just watch it. I mean. Wow.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/09/nein-nein/#everything-is-miscellaneous

Image: Roel Schroeven (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/roelschroeven/45413895

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

[gabessquishytum]

You ever have a cat that was utterly offended that you came home clearly smelling like another cat? 😁

Hob was visiting a friend’s house who just recently got a rather friendly catboy for themselves, and the catboy was perfectly pleased to play with Hob for most of the visit (whether that was playing or playing is up to you 😉).

He gets back home and is greeted by Dream and Cori, who suddenly smell this other catboy on their Hob and are Shocked!! Horrified!!! Scandalized!! Betrayed!!!!

Clearly he must be Shunned until he has properly groveled in apology for this transgression!!

Right after they thoroughly reclaim him to re-establish their “ownership” of him of course 😋

-🪽anon

I'm cackling. I just love the whole idea of this au. Hob should've known better than to play with another kitty!!! 😂

He barely gets through the door before he's bodyslammed by Cori and pinned to the floor in the hallway. Sharp claws dig through his clothes and Cori sits himself onto of Hob’s chest so he can't move at all! Meanwhile Dream growls and hisses and starts rubbing himself angrily all over Hob. He also makes sure that the clothes are properly shredded - Hob won't be wearing those again.

Hob gets a proper interrogation about where exactly he was touched, what kind of "games" he played with this interloper. His kitties pry the information out of him piece by piece while pinching Hob’s sensitive flesh with their sharp scratchy claws. They can't believe how unfaithful and slutty their human has been! Is it not enough that he's got both Dream and Cori?! Clearly they need to be paying more attention to him is he's feeling the need to go out and play with other people's pets.

Hob endures all the scratching and biting and eventually his kitties allow him up and as far as the bedroom. Once there he's incapacitated once again - he's given up begging for mercy by this point. His boys bend him over the bed and before he knows it, Hob is being filled with two little barbed cocks at once with minimal preparation. He whines and squirms but there's no let-up as his possessive little pets take their fill of him.

Once they've both cum inside him, and have finished smearing their fluids and scent all over Hob’s body, they seem willing to forgive him. In fact they both curl around him and purr like a pair of sweet innocent angels. And Hob knows that they'll be getting extra treats from him later.

He just can't help spoiling his favourite boys! And when he wakes up sore later, he'll have one or both of them to soothe him with a soft pink tongue. As long as they don't find out that he's been playing with that new dogboy down the street... 😉

[forgottenstarlightwishes]

[X] @second-wife-playbook

Warbie waited at his makeshift desk for the item to come back. The spool of thread was suppose to go to Earth but one of his coworkers had accidentally sent it to Hell or was it on purpose? Considering his current situation he would not be surprised if the mistake was intentional just so they had a reason to keep him in Hell or dismantle the Department even more.

It had taken a few months to work out the kinks with his small team back in Heaven, but the plan was they would forward the the less than desirable wishes down to him. Surprisingly Hell, had more readily available resources to piecemeal wishes. But today was different, an Earthlings gift had been sent to a resident in Hell and he nervously drummed his feathers hoping with all his might that the recipient wouldn't send some monstrous curse back in the return box.

His phone buzzed and the screen spat out the box. He quickly opened it and let out a startled squawk as he was immediately blinded by the light. He slammed the lid back down with a gasp tipped the box and opened it again, reached in and pulled out a-

"Fabric?! Oh! Oh nonononono!" He held the piece out and could see the careful needlework that had went into the piece. "They've already used it! Though that was incredibly fast. They must have alot of skill and...a lot of time, oh no but this is bad!" It was stunning and beautiful and the clouds that they had embroidered translated into a shifting series of clouds above. But that was the problem! He folded it and the light immediately dimmed.

He paced around the dusty old office for a few rounds trying to figure out what he could do. He could not possibly undo all the stitches and reclaim the thread nor could he send the piece directly to the human client. What to do? What to do? What to do? Then what felt like eons, an idea struck! He shuffled across his feathers and pulled out a needle. He didn't want to do it, but it was the only thing he could do to reclaim a part of the delivery. He slowly and carefully began to pick at the stitches until he managed a 3 strands of thread that Cori had cut to length. With a bit of magic he managed to smooth out the strands and reattach them, wind them back up onto a small spool. It wasn't as brilliant as the original, but it was still quite stunning. He looked back at the embroidered piece canted his head. He could not let this lovely piece go to waste. With a pen and paper he carefully traced the image, and holding his palm over the clouds, a dusting of the glimmering light transferred into the pattern. "Th-this might work. "He stammered and packaged both the pattern and tiny spool of thread into a small orb, addressed to the right person on Earth with a tag that read, [A rainbow that you can hide in your desk drawer.] With a tap, off it went streaking upward to the sky, very unlike how they would streak downward when he was in Heaven. Crisis averted. He knew how much effort his coworkers had put into that spool. It had taken them months to put enough energy to give it that effect. Warbie looked upward at the walls to the dusty old study where the lights danced like the northern lights. Maybe too much energy. "I should return this, but it is a little too bright, and its missing stitches now." he muttered with concern.

"Oh! What if I made it like...this." He said flying up to a shelf and pulling out an old antique double cover shadow box, then bringing it back down. He placed the embroidery piece down inside of it, then layered a thick piece of canvas above it, then closed the glass lid and stood it up. The little song bird warbled with a smile as he laid his head down for a moment to enjoy the now softened sky with the silhouette of a forlorn castle in the background, it now glowed a warm dreamy light rather than the harsh sunny one from before. He then closed it the final lid, hiding the light within and placed it back into the return box along with a note that read: ┈━═☆ To Our Generous Unintentional Client.

Thank you very much for your cooperation. You have blessed us with your skill and impeccable needlework. We did not have the heart to unravel all your hard work, so we reclaimed just enough thread for our client along with a small example of your piece. We realized we could not send back your piece as is after tampering with it, and we did not realize how bright it could be, so we have mounted it in this double lidded shadowbox to preserve your work, so you may view it at your leisure- and not get blinded, so sorry for the intensity of it. We hope it did not harm your eyes and you will enjoy this shadowbox.

If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact us, just swipe the comet on the letterhead."

Sincerely, Reed Warbie

Recollector : Department of Wishful Thinking

With a tap, the box was packaged into a silver orb with a star embellishment. "Back you go. Do make someone happy and not angry." He whispered carrying the orb towards his phone. He tapped it and in it went and back to Cori.