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#this is long and i cant do the thing on my phone ;-;
chriss-slut · 3 days
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Fuck me even if you hate me
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~ Dom!Chris x sub!fem!reader ~
Synopsis: You're now living with your enemy but he gets jealous of you hooking up with other guys.
warning: SMUT!!!! slightly toxic!Chris and reader, a few petnames (ma & slut), rough sex, unprotected p in v, a little bit of fingering and breast kissing, cursing, i guess thats all?
A/N: Its my first time doing this so im sorry if its horrible 😭
Chris and I have always hated each other in highschool. He was a cocky, arrogant, popular guy and I was... well, the same. We were both popular in our sides. Two popular people, opposite genders, the same personality, but who despised each other.
Chris was the most handsome guy in school. I cant deny he was hot, but the only thing that came to my mind when i see him is our rivalry.
We both were always partying and hooking up with several guys and girls (me with guys, him with girls), so we're both intimitading people, at least for us, everyone loved us.
After graduation, i was happy i'd finally get rid of him. A brand new start: college life.
Right now, I'm about to meet my new roommate. I slowly open the door and... no way.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!" I ask Chris, looking at him sitting on one of the beds, scrolling on his phone.
Chris looks up and his eyes widen "What are you doing here??"
"I'm in my dorm" i speak, already slightly pissed off, stepping in the room.
"Uh, no. You're in my dorm." Chris speaks, that smug tone of voice that i hated.
I roll my eyes and say back, sighing "well, i guess its our dorm now..."
"Who the fuck put us both together??" Chris asks me, fixing his position in bed so he's facing my way.
"You're asking me?? How am i supposted to know?? The only thing i know is, it was a horrible person."
Chris nods quickly, also rolling my eyes at my attitude. "Yeah, it must've been the worst teacher in here... or maybe, just someone random, since we're both new in this school, dumbass!"
I roll my eyes and sit down in my bed, leaning against the headboard. I grab my phone and speak to Chris while looking at my phone. "Let's make a deal. I don't bother you. You don't bother me. Let's not make this harder than it already is."
Chris does the same as me, but putting on his headphones, ready to listen to music. "Deal."
"Deal."
______
After a few hours, its now 10pm. I stand up from my bed and i start putting on my leather boots
"Where you goin'?" I hear Chris asking from his bed.
"Uh... why do you wanna know?" I ask back, now finishing putting my boots on.
"Well, maybe 'cuz its 10pm?"
"And? Its not like you don't do the same thing... 'm going to a party." I speak, now putting on my jacket.
"A party? At the first day of school? Alright, miss popular!" Chris says, mocking me with his hands raised in "defense".
I roll my eyes and open my dorm door, "g'night!" I say before going out and closing the foor behind me.
______
Hours later, at 4am, i slam the door open. My hair and make up all messed up, panting hard.
"What the fuck happened to you?? Got hit by a truck?" Chris asks, laughing at his own joke, looking at me from his bed.
I roll my eyes "A truck no. A guy."
Chris' eyes widen, he seems a bit... jealous? "Oh. I didn't want to know that."
I giggle softly, still panting slightly "You asked!"
Chris roll my eyes and turns around in bed, going back to his phone. I lay down in my bed for a bit, trying to get my breath to normal. Once it's done, i stand up and go over the bathroom, not locking the door.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Come in!" I yell from the bathroom, bent over the sink as i take off my make up
Chris gets caught off guard from me letting him come in but he opens the door, his eyes widening as he sees my position. He steps in and closes the door behind him, leaning back against the wall, staring at me.
"What??" I ask, looking at him in the mirror.
"Nothin'... just came to see what was taking so long." Chris says, teasingly.
I frown at him through the mirror. "mh... why, you missed me?" I ask cocky with a smirk.
Chris rolls his eyes "No."
"You wanna use it?" I ask him in a more kind tone.
Chris looks up and down at me, now walking towards me. "Sure do." He says teasing, putting his hands around my waist and pulling me closer.
"What the fuck are you doing??" I ask him, feeling his crotch against my covered ass.
Chris chuckles softly, now caressing my sides. "Just wanted your attention..." He speaks, looking down at my body.
"Hm... why? Did you get jealous of me hookin' up with another guy?" I ask cocky with a smirk, still doing my skin care.
Chris rolls his eyes, getting a little more annoyed when i mention the guy again. He starts to press me against him a little bit more forceful, his crotch rubbing against my ass harder. Chris leans over to my height, his face just next to mine in the mirror. "Yeah I was… I got a bit annoyed when you were talkin’ about that guy." He mutters in a low voice as his eyes stare into mine through the mirror.
"Oh yeah?" I smirk cocky "well, then, i should tell you how goood that was... oh, he made me feel so satisfied..."
Chris growls annoyed, him pressing more against my ass and his hands in my waist tightening. "you dont know with who you're talking to..." Chris mumbles between his teeth.
"Actually, i do... i bet you're not even big. I'm not feeling a thing against me" I speak arrogant.
Chris’ eyes widen as i speak down to him like that, making his possessive nature take over. He quickly spun me around and backed me up against the sink. "Say that again, you little brat…" He speaks, his hands firmly gripping my hips. He got a little rougher with his movements, his touch more demanding as he pull me closer in. I would be lying if i say it didn't turn me on.
I look up at him, smirking "i said i didn't feel anything in those pants" i say, now looking down at his sweatpants.
Chris grabs my chin and making me look up at him. His eyes are sharp as he glares down at me, his expression somewhat cold. "You got anything else to say?" He mutters in a warning tone, watching as my cocky expression forms on my face once again. "Nah... you're not worth my words"
Just the tone of my voice really pushes Chris off the edge. He was already possessive, but now he definitely has it in him. "Shut up…" Chris growls as he grabs my jaw, his grip firm and somewhat painful. He has me shoved against the sink, his hands tightly gripping my chin.
"Or what?" I ask with a cocky smirk.
Chris’ eyebrows furrow at my tone of voice. He didn’t like that bratty attitude of mine. Without any warning, he suddenly presses his lips roughly against mine, his kiss demanding and forceful.
I quickly move my hands to his neck, kissing him back. Our tongues fighting for dominance as we make out roughly. Chris was taken back with my dominance, but it just turned him more on. He tightens his grip in my neck as we kiss.
Suddenly, Chris puts his hands under my ass, in my thighs, and picks me up to sit on the sink, him standing in front of me, between my legs.
We pull away from the kiss and he speaks "you want me to prove you you're wrong?"
I pout thoughtful, sarcastic "hmmm, why not?"
Chris rolls his eyes and move his hands up my body, taking off my black crop top. He stared at my half covered breasts and bite his lips. He slides his hands to my back and unbuckle my bra, tossing it to the floor.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but, you're hot." Chris says, looking at my bare chest, now leaning to kiss around my nipples.
I smile softly at him and say "you're a bit hot yourself."
Chris pulls away from me and pull his sweatpants down. His now half-hardened dick bulging his boxers. I look down at it and my eyes widen. Wow, he's huge!
Chris laughs at my face "What? You like what you see?"
"U-uh... n-no..." i lie, trying to look away from him.
"Dont worry about it." Chris speaks low, now pulling down his boxers. His hard cock hitting his lower stomach, making my eyes shine at the view.
He walks closer to me again and grip my hips. "You gonna stay staring or you're gonna strip yourself f'me?" Chris says in a dominating but somewhat gentle tone.
I just nod and help him take off my skirt, just as my thong. He looks down at my, now wet, pussy and he smirks. "Already wet, huh?" Just by hearing him say that made my slit wetter.
I don't even have time to respond before i feel Chris' fingers slide inside of me, earning a moan of me.
"Oh, look at how wet you are... not even that tight to my fingers. How many guys you already fucked, you slut?" Chris whispers in my ear, his fingers slowly going in and out my wet cunt, making me moan again.
Chris fingers me for more 10 seconds and pull out, making me let out a frustrated moan "c-chris... p-please..."
Chris lets out a little chuckle "needy already? I guess you'll have to beg a bit for it... what do you want?" Chris asks me, his hand gripping my jaw, making me look at him.
"I-i want you... p-please... p-please, i need your dick inside of me..." i whine, looking up at him with puppy eyes.
Chris chuckles and mutters "pathetic.." before slamming into me, i moan loud, not expecting it at all.
Chris stays still for 5 seconds, letting me adjust to his huge size and then starts thrusting in and out of me, not fast but not slow. "Fuck, you're so tight. How can a stupid girl like you can have such a delicious pussy?" Chris says, pounding into me as i moan loud. His hands gripping my jaw and my hip, not letting me look away from him.
"f-fuck, y-youre so d-deep..." i moan out, my breathing heavy already.
"Huh? What did you say? I thought you said i wasn't big." he says with his stupid smirk on his face. I just moan in response, my eyes rolling back from his cock hitting the right spot every time he pounds into me.
My back arches as my eyes roll back "c-chris... i-..." i moan out, hardly speaking.
"You're close already? I didn't even started..." Chris says cocky, now starting to speed up the pace, going faster and harder into my cunt. I moan loud, my head would be leaning back if he wasn't gripping it, i can feel the knot in my stomach approaching, my pussy slightly clenching around him already.
"Mmmh, fuck, ma... why do you have to be so hot? Why do you have to fit perfectly around my cock?" Chris speaks softly, moaning a bit too. He starts thrusting faster and harder, making me moan loudly again
"O-oh gosh, Chris! F-fuck, it's so g-good!" I moan out.
"It is, isn't it? C'mon, tell me you like it. Show me how much of a slut you are." Chris speaks, his breathing heavy already, groaning softly.
I moan loud, my nails digging Chris' shoulders. "I-it f-feels so good... y-your cock feels-.. amazing in me..." i moan out.
"Oh yeah... you're missing something, ma." Chris speaks, now leaning to kiss, nibble and suck my neck.
"I... i-i.. i-I'm a s-slut... i-I'm a slut f-for you..." i stutter, my orgasm coming close already.
"For me?? Just for me??" "J-just f-for you..."
Chris leans to whisper in my ear "you're never fucking other guys again, got it? You're mine"
My cunt clenches around Chris as he says that, i nod frantically, now desperate to cum.
"Good." He whisper to me, now going faster and deeper, driving me crazy.
"O-oh Chris! Chris, 'm so... so close!" I moan out, my voice now high-pinched.
Chris lets out a cocky breathy laugh, thrusting into me harder while kissing my neck. "S-same, ma... h-hold on a sec..."
"I-i can't!" I moan loud, high-pinched, as my cunt clenches around Chris' cock, making it start to twitch inside of me.
Chris bites my neck harshly and mumble "cum f'me. Cum in my cock, ma.". That sends me over the edge, my whole body shaking as i cum around chris' dick, also feeling him panting my walls white. We both collapse into each others arms, panting hardly.
Once we both recover, chris pulls out and grips my jaw, making me look at him. "No one will ever know about this, you hear me?" He speaks in a mad tone. I nod as i look up at him, still with puppy eyes. He leans and give me a peck on the lips. "Good girl" he says, before dressing up and get out of the bathroom, leaving me there. What the hell just happened???
I hope you liked itttt!! Pls tell me what you think in the comments, i'd appreciate it :) xoxo
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squishious · 2 days
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ok i'd apologize to you & everyone else for only blogging about myself and my friends tonight but actually that would be un-sincere because i love my friends so so so much and all of life is about love. anyway here's a long summary of css :
-1. the context: luna @hanjoonhwi got to know mika through me and @ramonapest and so she'd discover old stuff progressively and one day she found css and made it her whole personality (read: blog) because she did that often (for a while she was tomorrowlive because she loved live performances of tomorrow, etc etc etc) and so she saved the url cokestudiostardust or i did. and then we had the fantastic idea of both changing our urls to something super similar to each other for a little while just to confuse the 12 mika blogs here (a small group of which are commonly referred to as "the rodents" due to the existance of an almost-dead discord server that i would like to bring back alive and that you could probably be added to, where we discuss mika) ANYWAY sorry for the slight detour. so yes that was the plan. and then we were like wait we need to include rory (because we had a tiny groupchat called "mouaylor tshirts" <- more lore there but basically luna wanted a mika x taylor x louis collab and rory made a fake poster that i put on redbubble models and so we made a groupchat to discuss business and then ended up being besties). so yes back to the main story. we text rory and we're like hey do you wanna join us in this wild scheme? she was like what scheme? we said say yes or no because we cant tell you unless you're joining. she said yes and we told her everything and also she was moving that same weekend... so it was insane of her to contribute. but yes that's the end of this part
0. the prep: so we saved css url, and 2 typo css urls. picked an icon header and background colour for the blog (#facade pink) and then the point was to confuse people so we didn't want them to be able to scroll adn figure out easily which one is rory vs luna vs me. so what we did is we made rory (?) i think (?) post a link to the css yt video. then we each reblogged it privately to our blogs about 100 times in preparation and then didn't blog until the day of. the day of we unprivated all the posts, so basically if you wanted to see any posts before you'd need to scroll for so long. and we changed our urls (i dont remember who was which url) and icons and headers and colours and made our blogs only available on phone so you couldnt go to archive to figure out who was who. also we had the same blog titles (coke studio stardust) and bios.
1. phase 1: we basically went around blogging normally as if nothing happened, but also sending asks to common mutuals and each others mutuals (ex: "hiii squish!! how are you???") and all of us sending them, to create confusion. did that for about 24 hours. but the thing is we sent the exact same asks and reblogged all the same posts with the same tags. luna and i even managed to confuse rory's sibling and like long-time friend on here. a mika blog @grayskelly we didnt know at the time (but v knows) just joined us (same blog appearance etc) and became our immediate bestie, hence creating the famous and iconic @h-isforhome "big day in mika fandom" post (the first one in the image post you reblogged). also we followed any mutuals that we mutuals with 2 but not 3 of us (pretending we accidentally unfollowed) in prep for phase 2
2. phase 2: (my favourite phase) we "apologized" etc for our behaviour and said we are switching back. BUT we lied (celebrity apology video style), and what we did is switch to each other's!! blogs. so i was luna and luna was rory and rory was me. and it actually fooled people due to all the followings in phase 1 and it being practically impossible to go to posts pre may 15. this phase particularly drove people insane (luna and i were competing over who would lose the most followers, rory somehow was gaining followers). but yes basically we blogged exactly lik each other, tagging systems etc, spoke like each other (hashtag true bestiehood), and sent even more asks. the middle 2 pics are examples of such interactions after we finally switched back to the real us, making all the posts hilariously funny. one common mutual thought that was was going on was that we had logged into each other's accounts. another was like ahh i got you. x is pretending to be y and y is [etc etc], getting it all wrong and we were like ah yes! you got us! so true!. i think @thirteens-earring still hates us for may 16.... we were sending each other messages being like hi v this is rory! etc and v eventually figured out who was who but the whole time was sending us murderous threats + at one point luna was like hi rory this is v! to v, which was funny. anyway i think lizzie @dionysuswearsanorangetracksuit was the first one to catch on what was going on (like super early that day) and texted me and h about it but i made them promise they wouldn't explain to everyone what was going on.
everyone was like ah hahah ha hilarious right. you guys are done right. no really. you are done right. please please say you're done. and so, this is what we did after:
3. phase 3 prep: rory and luna collected the best posts through screenshots, i opened photoshop with a normal canvas size and started adding them and making the canvas bigger and bigger, ending up with a photoshop file of 16359x22200 pixels, it took me and rory 2 computers, 3 photoshop versions, and about 1 hour to export that as 4 pngs.
4. phase 3: on may 17 we changed all our blog titles to "phase 3", posted that image, and everyone was like hey guys. whats phase 3 whats going on pls explain. and to this day no one knows what phase 3 is <3 we will not say unless someone guesses
anyway if you've read all this thank you so much in indulging me and listening to me talk nonsense about friendship shenanigans (<- idk how to spell in english but i might have gotten it right). it was truly a wild time where rory was normal and luna and i were unhinged and drove rory into our unhingeness. i miss it incredibly and i wanna do more of that with you and them and all my little computer friends. or maybe we could jsut have a sleepover. idk but all i know is that if i knew you all in real life we would have the best laughs and the best times of our lifes and we'd just have so much fun. like if all of you bring this much joy in my life just by resharing the same posts as each other and replying to each other, imagine what it would feel like if we could all have a picnic or a roadtrip or just a day out at the mall even.... anyway this is getting sappy and i need to go to bed. ty for reading or sorry!!!!! now that we're friends i'll invite you next time we plan an international cyber-prank
HELLO OKAY !!!! apologies 2 my followers in advance but i need to immortalise this bc truly. this is the pinnacle of careful throughtful tomfoolery i'm very impressed
first off i'm all for the resuscitation of mika discord there really are sooo few of us on here !! mouaylor collab would be incredible and i need to see this shirts if they exist lmfao. also doing this while moving u are SO STRONG thats incredible !!!
anyways again the amount of thought that went into this.....the reblogged posts the turning off web view the following each others mutuals.....i would trust u to pull of a heist i think. sounds like a wild day and yesss would love to participate in international cyber pranks or sleepovers (or both simultaneously) w u all !!! truly i think that we'd have the most wonderful time if we knew each other irl the shenanigans and vibes would be unmatched <3 (i am living in constant fear of phase 3 now. its gonna haunt my every click on this site)
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puppyeared · 8 months
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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todayisafridaynight · 2 months
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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that
if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it
#snap chats#no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game#oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k#OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think#my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious#rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final#HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE#i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that#i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki#someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it#like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but#i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital#the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe#cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3#its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think#it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little#and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly#idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me#THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED#i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell#is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form#i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments#BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow#im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months
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...
#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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the grudge is orion about oliver i feel sick
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jewishfalin · 1 year
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Why do so many psychiatrists love to gaslight. Okay, Hannibal Lecture.
If I had a nickel for every time a psychiatrist straight up told me lies I would have too fucking many and that's a problem.
#like first a psychiatrist tells me my seizures r psychological BECAUSE of my history of Forbidden Disorder and anxiety#and then they get worse and its clearly epilepsy and im on meds now and my condition was neglected bc a misdiagnosis based on stigma#and then now im like hey so i am still struggling with Forbiden Dissociative Disorder can i get some resources or a mf therapist rec#and this psych straight up tells me DID isn't a diagnosis anymore (I FOUND NO EVIDENCE OF THIS CLAIM BTW)#AND tells me my amnesia is bc of seizures.... LIKE I LIVE IN MY BODY AND U HAVE LITERALLY ONLY SPOKEN TO ME VIA PHONE#IDK I THINK I KNOW MYSELF A LITTLE MORE THAN YOU DO FUCKING JEFF#and i know the mf difference between switching and and HAVING A SEIZURE like???#those r very different things. like ik theres different kinds of seizures but for ME theres just no comparing theyre 2 different things😭#there is a clear difference between me collapsing and becoming unresponsive on the floor like a fish outta water#and me telling people to call me a different name and having completely separate identities that others notice. and i cant remember#and like ive dealt with it all long enough that I'm aware and can communicate w my alters n stuff and i have to to function#and for YEARS since highschool its been like. i talk to professionals and theyre like hm yea u basically would meet all requirements#however u might as well not get diagnosed bc no one wants to deal w that.#LIKE IVE LITERALLY BEEN TOLD THAT MULTIPLE TIMES ALMOST EXACT WORDS#and i hate how i know fake claiming being a public thing has rlly fucked w peoples perception of did n stuff#idk im so fuckin pissed man. reverting to my will graham era i fucking guess
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what sport did you like the best in wii sports?
!!! BOWLING BABEY !!!
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slugandthorn · 5 months
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Annoyed in a very normal way that his portrait from school is the same length as his hair during the game. Don't worry about what's in the tags I'm sure it's a normal amount of text.
#.txt#BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING ELSE. The long hair is clearly better. i am happy to have the original image over my stupid phone edit.#im fact checking something kn the wiki and apparebtly in the manga he has a turtle neck instead of a dress shirt. gagging#i feel insane for this i cant find an answer. when he killed kens mom he was a freshman it was two years before the beginning if the game.#like. MAYBE he finishes that year. he didnt attend a second year right???#so assuming he actually gets to live. and he goes back to school. hed have to restart there. and at the point junpei and the bunch would#be his upperclassmen and THERES NO WAY he would be able to deal with that. hes getting his japanese equivalent GED.#that was actually a side tangent because. well. anyway.#the MAIN point of the post: how only knowing characters from fiction AFTER a life changing event that has probably caused#a major personality shift and seeing that in his character design.#i feel like this applies. to a lot of my guys. but i feel like its also exacerbated in this case because akihiko and mitsuru knew him before#and we have no idea who that person was HES NOT IN THE FUCKING FLASH BACK AUURGHH. MAKE THE SPRITE.#this is sickening for shinji. given how sweet he is. whilst slowly killing himself. theyre so funny for that.#also design nitpicking. the pale skin obviously. also a controversial thing. i do like him having darker hair in p3d.#even if it was probably done to distinguish him from akechi. light brown hair doesnt suit him as well. imo. the only guy who thinks about it#p3d bias because they gave us the canonical beach outfit we never got and i just want him to have more outfits so bad.#im sorry im not a peacoat fan. ill allow the heels.#CAN I SAY HOW MAD I AM HIS FUNERAL PICTURE IS HIS FUCKING SPRITE. AND NOT LIKE AN ACTUAL SCHOOL PICTURE. JUST GIVE. AN ARTIST A DAY TO EDIT#im watching the funeral now <3 mistake.#insane the school held a funeral for a student who hadnt attended in almost two years.#top ten junpei moments though.#WHY ARE THEY AT SCHOOL THERES NO WAY THEY SLEPT.#mitsuru misses her fucking FRIENDD 😭#i wont be addressing All That Shit the akihiko goes through. know it also makes me 🛀#alright. repressed emotions expressed. back to doing stuff.
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jvzebel-x · 4 months
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🦋
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gayleafpool · 11 months
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im gonna be in a car for 5 hours on friday
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weirdo09 · 11 months
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i hate my mom n my stepdad, i dislike them so much
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scaredofmyocs · 7 months
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I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long
#talk post#i love this blog i want to live here#I cant!!! i just cant!!! go to bed at a normal fucking time istg#but noooooo the wild grinders wiki no some stupid bullshit no one has ever cared about before#WHEN I DONT GET ENOUGH SLEEP MY MENTAL HEALTH GETS WAY WORSE!!!!! IF I DONT FIX IT WE ARE GOING TO GET TOO SILLY#(yelling at a mirror)#seriously bothers me tho that Im always worried about how intense my negative feelings have been lately#and im like “oh ill just get more sleep” and then immediately fuck it up the next night making me tired all week#making me feel SO bad in the mornings and at night and increasing my paranoia and other such thoughts#and in trying to tune it all out just forget about it again leading to me fucking it up again#this is a bit dramatic its only happened 2 weeks in a row#but that feels like a lot because thats like 10 nights where i felt like i blinked and i had to wake up and go to school#and not only deal with my shitty social skills but the results of said thing#and also try to fight the thoughts that are like “this shits pointless im not doing this” LIKE PLEASE pretend to be normal for one year#and also that one teacher i have who demands every students attention while he teaches like i already finished the work sheet shut it#like i do well in that class just let me do what i want im not being distracting like girl i have at least an 87 dw about me#PLUS most of the time im not even on my phone he just really wants me to look at the board but girl as i said I ALREADY DID WHATS ON THERE#i feel like i never get to relax but i do all the time so i dont know what i mean#i keep saying “its ok as long as i can bury all my thoughts and just keep going while filling what free time i have with things i enjoy”#but things only work for so long#i hate the passage of time#anyawy erm wrong my guitar is in my mind (stupid ass guitar riff)#walks over to my bed and trips on the way falling asleep on the floor#ramble#hit post
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sunnidear · 5 months
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installs hsr to my phone -> gets blade -> uninstalls
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came0dust · 1 year
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frankly i like the things i learned while making this more than the result itself and i wasnt really sure i even wanted to post it in part due to that but if i do keep iterating on the process i used during it, i feel this is valuable context
oh also before i forget: the sketch was done using this brush instead of the one i made earlier
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foxgirlplushie · 1 year
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