Finally finished my Whorl redesign. They were cute before but idk, I wasn't digging their eyes. I gave them a frisbee head and they are much better for it now! More in depth info to be found below!
Whorls are a sophont from the slime ball planet Backera, the planets crust is entirely covered in miles thick microbial mat so the floor is always very much alive. The main form of "animal" life on the planet are the pentapods, analogous to Earth tetrapods in terms of niches and all that. Pentapods are distinguished by their five limbs, five jaws, partial exoskeleton, and an internal boney limb girdle.
Whorls are from a clade of predatory pentapods who branched into frugivory a while back, eventually leading to tighter knit communities built around maintaining their farm mats. Whorls live in towns with populations between a few dozen to a few thousand, their settlements are also how they get their name. Their buildings are spiral shaped, expanded by spiraling them outward! I'm getting around to drawing that, its v cool.
They eat mostly 'plant' matter, fruiting bodies from sessile organisms and maybe some choice floor scrapings. Meat is also greatly enjoyed, but is typically reserved for older Whorls or very small children. Children who by the by, go through a little aquatic stage before committing to wet land. Babies are traditionally left to grow in slow moving rivers, but modern times find communal pools to be a lot more popular.
Whorl families consist of one 'bearing' parent and anywhere from 1-5 'seeding' parents. Whorls do not have sexes, but they do have a few genders! Mostly they have to do with who is stabbing/getting stabbed and gender will change throughout a Whorls life. An important note here though is that most pentapods, including Whorls, fertilize via traumatic insemination stab. This is understandably rough on the stabbee so generally only older, larger individuals will be the ones going through pregnancy.
That's the basic gist, will get more into it as I get around to it. But just wanted to reboot them a little!
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I want to ship SC, trust me I do and I love them together, but I just can’t fathom how far they stretch a fake relationship (her and T). Like for example the recent picture of them holding hands- now it’s not an insane gesture but definitely one we haven’t seen before. So maybe they truly are just a private couple. But in my heart of hearts I just love her and S together so much, and don’t know what to think because on one hand they are simply everything together and on the other it seems like she really is with T. I’m confused 🥲 what’s your take?
Dear Confused Anon,
I will be brutally honest: no, I do not trust you and I do not care about your crocodile tears. Not a single bit. In fact, once I will be done with my answer to you, you are most probably going to press CTRL+C, then CTRL +V. And run to the nearest Mordor sweatshop, in the hope one of the Three Sopranos will insult me again.
You see, to trust you, I would have to speak with at least a handle, not a coward in disguise. And then, even DMs are neither always safe, nor always honest - I have recently learned it the rough way, despite my best efforts, tried (and up until now failed) to forgive and will never forget.
By now, I suppose everyone got a good look at this splendiferous picture:
Take a long, quiet, hard look at it, Shire.
So organic it could kill a moth colony on the spot.
So heartfelt - she doesn't even look at him.
So sentimental - that icy smile of hers. A happy couple, indeed.
A general round of applause, all across the Nation.
You are very wrong: it is not the first time they are holding hands, I mean, sort of. The much touted London marathon pic immediately comes to mind - although you'd have to admit, I looked and looked and he seemed to be checking her pulse, rather than being lovey-dovey.
A real private couple would never stoop as low as a cheap, laborious retcon, in retaliation for a couple of thousand people speculating on a niche blogging platform.
It took four years, a month and four days after that Remarkable Week-end to see McSideburns clumsily try and claw her hand. Remarkable, indeed.
And are you trying to tell me the MC didn't shake your beliefs and this does?
This perfunctory, formulaic, scripted AF, blip?
Wow. I have no words, Anon.
That unkempt, bland person - for God's sake, mister, tuck that damn shirt in your pants! - looking like the elephant in the china shop at a carefully curated event celebrating the supreme form of French refinement?
This is insulting, to say the least. To her (and her prized image), to Chanel, to this fandom, to S and believe it or not, to himself, too. Granted, the Berluti shoes are showing some improvement and are now clean. Hmph.
So here is what I think, Anon (and I know people are going to shriek and guess what, I do not care, for once):
It's been at least one year this fandom has been asking for this specific pic and for this specific whiplash. A childish tantrum, as she is regularly throwing. Mind you, that doesn't even come close to the painfully slow, monumentally boring Flukenzie Floozy Saga and looks as staged as the Ochoa & S London sighting (ah, patterns!).
This is the reaction to our scriptwriting ineptitude.
This is also the reaction to some underground shenanigans, directly related to a birth certificate apparently being peddled around. I will not discuss this, yet know just that: this is a legal claptrap, right there. I can, and if needed I will prove it. With the cold, surgical precision Mordor is so afraid of.
But she is a mother, for Christ's sake!
A mother!
As I said, I am not a mother and never will be. I do not wish this trial on anyone. But if I know something about life, I can guarantee you a mother would do whatever it takes to protect her child(ren).
Including taking precisely this kind of sad and forgettable pic.
So, there's that. We choose and we choose now: we fall for it once more and let the playbook fiddle with our insecurities once more and post endless trails of old pics once more to soothe the searing indignation.... Or GROW THE FUCK UP and show to whom it may concern we're not buying this shit anymore.
I know what I'll do. You're on your own, Anon: my tough love took you only this far, down the road. Sorry for the length. It was needed.
For the moment, I just booked an appointment with Miss Fotoula (roughly Claire, hehe), my genius hairdresser. I will ask her to refresh my dirty blonde mane.
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apropos of nothing and certainly not my tag rant from a few posts back
did you know that out of 150 popular video games released between 1985 and 2022, only 6% of them feature sole female protagonists?
did you know that prior to mass effect 3, female shepard was never used in any promotional material for the series?
(and there's no hard data available on this, but i very distinctly recall a lot of gamerbro outrage when me3 had an optional reversible cover so you could pick between male and fem shep on your personal game)
did you know that only 18% of players chose femshep in any shape or form (default or customized) during the original release?
(anecdotally, i know a few people who didn't even realize you could play a female at all in me1 bc of how the cc is setup)
did you know with the release of the legendary edition in 2021 the percentage of femshep players didn't even double (despite jennifer hale's seemingly enormous popularity amongst the broader playerbase over the past decade) and is reported at 32%?
did you know that dragon age inquisition has the same breakdown between male and female inquisitors (68% to 32% respectively)?
did you know during the playtests for assassin's creed odyssey, it was a 50/50 split between kassandra and alexios, and ubisoft suits actually thought when the game was released, kassandra would be more popular? and yet once again, about 70% of players chose the male protag
did you know evie and aya were both supposed to have a much larger roles in assassin's creed syndicate and origins but were forced into a smaller role bc the ubisoft marketing team didn't think the games would sell well with a female lead?
cdpr hasn't released data on male vs female v, probably because the game handles gender a little differently than just two strict options like many other rpgs, but it was revealed that panam was the most popular romance, sitting at about 68%, which means at least 68% of players chose the male v body. I'm sure some players did not make that choice as a cis male v, but i would also guess that those who didn't are a small minority of this demographic, and if you factor in kerry romancers, this split is probably very similar to other games in the genre
now i realize that a lot of the male v players who are in more transformative fandom spaces (like tumblr) are not the str8 gamer dudebros of reddit angry about pores on a female character's face and whatnot. i realize that a lot of you are also on the outskirts of the perceived norm and also feel under-represented by mainstream male protags and that's incredibly frustrating and alienating and i genuinely feel for you
but female protagonists and female gamers who want to play as female protagonists and who have a few niche spaces to celebrate female protags are not the reason for your lack of representation
and frankly you don't sound a whole lot different from the angry incel gamer boys when you say shit like "fem v gets too much attention"
so maybe try advocating for male protags who don't fit the generic boring gruff white guy mold without throwing women under the bus. we're should be allies in this fight, not rivals
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When you know more about a thing, you’ll take more risks. Once you’ve owned enough unreliable cars, you can better sense when something is going to leave you on the side of the road. Maybe you let things slip a little bit, because you’ve gotten lucky so far. This explains why my doctor eats nothing but ground-up pork rinds and four bottles of Olde English 800 for lunch.
Those of you who are particularly attuned to reading the DSM-V for fun will notice this as a gambling impulse. Me, I only like to read DSM factory service manuals, which is also a good way to diagnose mental illness. Us humans want to play it risky, we want to pit our wits against the angry whims of nature. It makes the triumph so much sweeter, even if we had to go through hell to get there.
Let me give you a more concrete example: most cars need oil to run. However, oil is expensive, so having a car that burns it means that you are both spending a lot of money on oil, and also maybe a lot more on a new engine when life gets busy and you forget. Only a weirdo would go across country, constantly topping up their oil at every rest stop. Only an idiot would offset this by spooning leftover liquid oil out of the exhaust pipe and muffler, and feeding it back into the engine.
I wanted to see if I could do it, is my defence, and it turns out that I could. When I arrived on the other coast without having destroyed my (admittedly near-death) Soviet tractor small-block, I was overjoyed. The next morning, that engine was seized up and wouldn’t turn over. While I was sleeping in the back seat, the engine had cooled down overnight and reduced itself to a large chunk of useless iron in the vague shape of an engine. Did I lose? Not at all. I bought another ticket, and by which I mean I made sure to sleep outside the local U-Pick-It junkyard. Within an hour, I was already walking out the front door with some other atrocious piece of engineering that kinda sorta looked like it might fit into the engine bay. And now I’m back here, telling you my story.
The important thing is not to be afraid of taking dumb risks. Sure, there’s dumb dumb risks, but those are often done by people who don’t know what they are doing. In order to take smart dumb risks, you should spend your entire life accumulating knowledge of a niche field, so that you know what you can safely ignore, and what you can put off for another couple thousand miles to save thirty bucks, tops. And with that, I would like to congratulate this group of elementary school children for having graduated from grade six of Miss Maple’s class.
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