#this is my brain on good omens

[bookdrgn99]

I've seen several discussions about how Aziraphale truly thought Crowley would be happier as an angel again, and it's spun in my brain to the point I went down a bit of a GO brainrot rabbit hole.

Obviously, this is just how I read the scene and feel about it, but I think it shows Aziraphale's level of being affected by Heaven's toxicity that he could think that while actually knowing Crowley.

Crowley, who has never been silent about how much he hates both sides and the entire system. Heaven threw him out for (supposedly) asking questions, made his existence a literal hell while angels like Gabriel walked free. Crowley could only, no doubt, wonder how someone who should know him better than anyone couldn't understand that. But in the pain of the moment, he's not accepting just how much Aziraphale's toxic family is still twisting his thinking on Heaven. Even though Aziraphale has always made that obvious, Crowley kept hoping he'd change and sticking his head in the sand, but it's not that easy.

Aziraphale wants to protect Crowley, but he went about it in the exact opposite way than he should have to get what he wanted. Crowley did the same thing every time he pushed Aziraphale to flee. He only wanted to protect Aziraphale. Neither is innocent in hurting the other while only wanting to keep them safe. Best of intentions and all that.

The problem is, in my mind, Crowley no doubt heard how he could be an angel again and how things would be "even better" and translated it to "if only you were an angel you'd be worthy. If only then I could love you, not this demon." Too many centuries of statements like "I don't even like you" (and even during this conversation: "you're the bad guys") have made him insecure in where he stands with Aziraphale, even if he'd never admit it.

That almost all of those statements were a product of Aziraphale's fear and overwhelming desire to protect Crowley is true, but they still damaged Crowley's faith in his worth to Aziraphale.

Unfortunately, Aziraphale was so caught up in maybe finally receiving validation from the very family that have always mistreated him, but that he longs to be loved by, that he couldn't see that his offer could never be accepted. Religious and family trauma are a real, manipulative bitch. Where as Crowley is fully no contact, Aziraphale isn't there yet.

I honestly think part of season three will be Aziraphale finally accepting the system for what it is: toxic and flawed and nothing but shades of grey. I think he'll grow as an individual while standing alone in Heaven, being the BAMF he always has been, to help save humanity. I think that growth will only serve to improve and strengthen his relationship with Crowley once the danger has passed and they're free. And somewhere in there, he'll understand why Crowley rejected his offer as he did.

Meanwhile, Crowley already knows the system is broken, but he has to get past his urge to protect Aziraphale above all else, then his need to help save humanity will kick in. I can't help but see him as more akin to Adam at this point, more humanlike in his desires and motivations than either demon or angel. I think he'll choose to stand with humanity but eventually accept that Aziraphale being on the inside is a necessary evil to achieve the goal they both want: humanity safe and the two of them truly out of the system.

Like Aziraphale, I think Crowley will be better for all of it in the end, too. Even if I wish neither of them had to go through the pain. They're so codependent; they both need to evolve as individuals and then, after that, they'll both be better suited to be their us, their group of two, once everything all over. Neither focused on angel or demon, good or evil, but just us.

The garden will be lovely then.

[ao3cassandraic]

I have a bunch of notes and dialogue fragments for my Talisman fic series... several of which were utterly incomprehensible to me when I went back to them today. I figured a few out, but am still scratching my head about one or two.

Please tell me I am not the only person this happens to!

[hansoeii]

crowley!

[loveapologist]

He changed his mind.

Support me on PATREON!

[zivilzz]

I don’t know where we are in the grand scheme of things, but I just wanna be hugging you tonight. 💔

(A painting I made inspired by Romantic Encounter by Mihaly von Zichy)

(Use the Cardd link in my bio to buy and pick up a Print)

[bone-yarddz]

Audio books but it’s Michael Sheen reading books as Aziraphale and sometimes you hear David Tennant shouting something obnoxious as Crowley.

[aduckwithears]

Periodically, it hits me like a ton of bricks that this scene exists:

With the windows framed as their wings, the hand fluttering to the back, the most emotionally devastating kiss ever to be filmed...

I am still not well.

[louloubye]

support your local businesses!!!

[sanzundertale]

babygirl i will invent stages of grief you have never seen before

[and-this-of-all-my-hopes]

Sometimes you just are trying to live out your day and then your brain thinks:

What if in the opening titles of Season 3 Aziraphale and Crowley aren’t walking together anymore.

[gooodomens]

it's the fact that Aziraphale still thinks Crowley's demon status is something that needs "fixing" 🥲 but it's also about Crowley not understanding that his "holiness" is an inherent part of Aziraphale and not something he'd give up voluntarily, it's about personal identities being lost in relationships, its about the romatinisation of "us", it's about Nina not understanding why Maggie sells records when you can stream it, it's about the inherent struggle between keeping you "you" while still finding space for "us"

[purrvaire]

they're so in love im gonna throw up real quick

[actual-changeling]

welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner, today's topic: the chest touch at the pub. that scene has me in a chokehold for some reason and i still cannot stop thinking about it.

the first thing i wanna talk about is crowley's reaction, since this is the shorter part. he did not expect aziraphale to reach out to him like this and freezes for a second while aziraphale happily chatters away.

they were both walking and the hand on his chest stops him, so he comes to a stop right next to him while he was slightly behind him before that. his gaze also snaps to aziraphale's face, who is very much not looking at him.

they were having a conversation, but the touch essentially shuts crowley up and zira leaves him to get their drinks.

now, my question is why aziraphale does it. sure, it could just be an absent gesture since they're in a crowded place, just that he has never really done so before. i think it was very much planned, like asking crowley to dance and grabbing his hand later on.

a second before he actually reaches out, he also looks back to check whether crowley is where he thinks he is. that is the only time he does that, he was busy looking for a free table and miracles them one when he cannot find one - the look back is deliberate. especially since crowley is practically glued to his side, he has no need for confirmation, he can feel him brushing against him while walking.

the hand motion he does gets me, too. he is busy fidgeting with his hands like normal and has them clasped in front of him. aziraphale lifts them once he gets to "that is precisely the point", yet also already moves it slightly towards crowley, realizes he miscalculated where exactly he/his chest is, looks to check, then looks away again before actually touching him. am i reading too much into it? maybe.

i think it is his version of a little temptation. not only does it make crowley's brain short-circuit for a second, he also gets them their drinks and is now (or so aziraphale hopes) a bit calmer and will take the news aziraphale is about to give him better. the conversation at the cafe did not go entirely as planned, after all.

additionally, something i am not sure if other people have noticed or not is that aziraphale does not just touch crowley, it is a caress. he moves his hand down his chest.

the movement in order:

bar girl unfortunately moves in front of them, but you can clearly see the way his hand takes. to give you a direct comparison of the starting and end point:

a good point of reference is crowley's bolo tie but also the angle of aziraphale's arm while it is still visible.

the best part, in my opinion, is that aziraphale puts his hand right on top of crowley's heart. i think the symbolic importance of that is pretty clear and does not require any more explanation, although it makes me want to throw myself into a river. but that's by the by.

to summarize, aziraphale caresses crowley's heart chest to get him to calm down and not go insane over the news he is about to give him. he is also simply a bastard and knows exactly what he is doing to crowley.

as always, this is me going nuts with analysis, but i'm also curious to hear other people's thoughts on this.

don't tell my therapist about my unhinged meta posts or she will probably be very concerned for my mental wellbeing

[ynnu-64]

love surge

[dotcircledot]

guess who watched good omens

[hummingbee-o0o]

I'm sorry, I know we already talked about this, but

Aziraphale just. Casually painted an entire room the colour of Crowley's eyes.

He is so extremely normal about that demon.