#this is my first web weaving but it's an idea i've had on my mind since i finished the book bird king

[recitedemise]

𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲'𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿. This lengthy headcanon will refer to canon dialogue from mostly Gale, sometimes others. Reader's discretion is advised. There will be in depth explorations into grooming, emotional abuse, heavy manipulation, and suicide.

First, let it be said that Gale, a mortal man, will always be the powerless one in his dynamic with Mystra. Of course, nearing forty years of age, he remains entirely responsible for his own actions, his own blunders and every hurt he'll cause, but it's important to remember who formed much of who he is: his goddess, his deity, and egregiously, his lover.

Mystra is power. Mystra is possibility. She knows what sway she holds over her Ioyal, vulnerable, and entirely mortal followers. In all ways that matter, they are but lambs she can steer and herd as she sees fit. She knows they can't deny her and knows they'll never want to. Gale's sheer servitude and complete devotion. Mystra, knowing that, used him to filth.

Gale: I was just... practising an incantation. Player Character: No, there's more to it than that. I know devotion when I see it. Gale: What can I say? She's—she's Mystra. I can't describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her - to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence... Mystra is all magic. And as far as I'm concerned, she is all creation. Player Character: I didn't realize the depth of your devotion. Gale: Magic is... my life. I've been touched with the Weave for as long as I can remember. There's nothing like it.

Gale, orb in his chest, doomed to be eaten by the very thing he loves the most, still speaks so reverently of the goddess, of his lover that has left him to die. He conjures images of her memory—and she is all the while forgetting about his.

Minsc: Gale reminds me of vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rasheman. While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth, I thought it born of caution after some catastrophe of wizardly men-folk of old. Now, I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm?

Tales of Mystra's treachery spreads far, leaving those familiar waters surrounding Gale's tower in Waterdeep. They whisper her name, afraid to utter it one time too many, suspecting, perhaps, that she'll show in their mirror like some Faerûnian Bloody Mary.

Talent rouses Mystra. She can see who uses the gift of the Weave and feel them, sampling whatever delight sings their veins as they pull from her domain. Not unlike a spider, she'll follows every tremor that strikes her as just a sliver more profound; and Gale, a prodigy, plucked the Weave's web to so garner her focus. And like some black widow scurrying, she surged down that ripple to prey on a boy. There, Gale, so impressionable, was just a mite older than twelve whole summers. He sat so stunned, beholding Mystra as she lured him into the cradle of her Astral domain. Bathed in her magic, pleasantly coddled within that glittering cosmos, Gale felt blessed in a way he'll struggle always to recount, no word, no language, fit to describe it. He felt chosen. He felt seen. And potently, to a child, he felt loved. Now, imagine a child experiencing something like that. Imagine what they'd think, how brilliant they must be when stood beside the rest. She told him he was gifted, made his heart swell not unlike a child's appetite for praise. She knew what she was doing by offering these morsels, by preying on a child's most delicate mind, and Gale, child prodigy, was already so awash in the idea that his value was in magic. Unfortunately, Gale, susceptible, had no way of squirming out of his goddess' grasp.

Reality: She's laid down the seeds to creep into his heart. When he's just old enough—seventeen's sufficient, she thinks—she stakes her claim and makes him hers.

Gale: My virtuosic talent once caught the eye of the goddess of magic herself, Mystra, who named me her chosen and her lover.

Gale is stunned when she takes him to bed the first time. (Is this really happening?) Mystra claims his mouth in a kiss, taking everything she knows he offers so willingly. Mystra, of course, is not so stunned.

Dream Visitor: An elder brain... one of the cruelest and most powerful creatures in existence, enslaved by mere mortals. Gale, tasked with Mystra's missive to sacrifice himself: This is it... I must do as Mystra commands.

Gale has worryingly low self-esteem beyond his magic. As already explored, his entire worth as a man hinged on and was built entirely off his talent as a wizard. He fought tooth and nail for any crumb of affection Mystra would offer his way, something she only gave him at all seeing his gift as a child. He wants her forgiveness. He desires it genuinely. He believes so firmly that he has wronged his goddess, buying into the idea that sacrificing himself will right his wrong. She holds such dominion over him, making him reduce his confidence in himself into a mere, trifling pittance; after all, she wasn't just his lover, but the patron deity he prays to. And regardless, Gale is a people pleaser, his initial acceptance of her missive coming as no surprise.

After all, Gale, at times, goes to incredible lengths to appease his audience. This habit, compulsion, impulse, whatever you want to call it, is a quality that was relentlessly exacerbated in his relationship with his immortal paramour. He wanted to content her, felt all he did was never enough, for as a matter of principle, he was oceans, leagues, and entire galaxies beneath her. Gale figures: well, how can a short-lived dalliance satisfy a god? He had to make her happy. Indeed, he'd done everything she'd ask. He'd bedded her how she liked, kissed her how she wanted, and of course, even said those words she'd said tasted best. She was his lover, a lover that never tended to his own needs and pleasures, and he fooled himself into thinking that's enough. He won't bend backwards for everyone, mind you, but if you're of the ones he would, he would stop at nothing to make you happy. After all, people pleasing is a way to keep oneself safe, a trauma response to sidestep discomfort, and though it achieves only a direly tentative peace, when that is all you've been fed, you will pursue it.

Gale did not want to lose Mystra; he couldn't bare the sting of it. And so, when Elminster visited him, Mystra's call for his death offered oh so callously, Gale, heartbroken, felt that part of him kick up. He couldn't endure the guilt, was so hungry for a chance to let his weighty heart breathe, even if it meant dying in the process.

At least this way, he'll finally do something right. At least this way, Mystra will forgive him, and all his friends will survive.

Gale: After I was afflicted with my condition, I locked myself in my tower for an entire year. I was inconsolable, wallowing in my self-inflicted tragedy. I'd given up on myself.

As a byproduct of people pleasing, Gale, too, is all too quick to accept all guilt. He self-deprecates, gaslights himself to a venomous degree, and twists his reality in so cruel a way as to make him the villain Mystra'd led him to believe. He self-flagellates himself, the first one in the world who will throw Gale of Waterdeep a mental punishment. Mystra's a goddess, after all, seen as utterly faultless, and twined so tightly with a being so mighty in esteem, Gale slipped into the role of the guilty often. When tied with anyone with grandeur like this, so immeasurable in their own self worth, it's important to keep in mind this: you are nothing but a prop in which to fulfill their ego. Gale was not Mystra's, not by a long shot. Rather, Gale was a tool, simply her mortal extension.

And he took every blow meant for her... a common and terrible habit for many people in imbalanced, ego-fueled relationships.

Gale's life beyond her wasn't something that interested her. She took most of Gale's devotion, manipulated his life to be her sole mantle of attention, for Mystra is not a goddess that shares very happily.

Indeed, long before his self-imposed isolation, this jealous deity did well at keeping him isolated.

Player Character: Picture kissing him. With tenderness. Then, with passion. Gale: I... I didn't think— Narrator: You perceive quick-fire embarrassment, trepidation, and finally... elation.

And so, cheated out of love, so reduced in his value as a man and lover both, suffice to say, Gale's slow to believe he can ever be loved. That's what happens when you're with someone so cold, consistent only in their infinite lack of respect. Gale looks at fondness, and he feels—confounded, to be sure. He thinks, is this truly mine to have? He doesn't know what to do, is nearly forty in game, and despite having lived decades devoted to one relationship, he feels, at the same time, entirely out of depth. To be frank, he greets it with embarrassment, like he's been caught red handed with something not his at all. He's like a child caught rummaging with his hand in a cookie jar, all this isn't mine to enjoy, not mine to indulge in, but he thinks, startled, but god, do I want. He wars with disbelief, uncertainty, and need, and in so many ways feeling utterly starved, with just a glimmer of affection, he falls fast into love.

Scenario: (And if properly romanced, it changes his world.)

Gale: In her (Mystra's) likeness, I used to read a thousand stories. She was beauty, wisdom, elegance, power... she contained universes. But now... it is hard to see any redeeming qualities in a lover who condemned you to death. I'd much rather gaze into your eyes than hers. Yours are capable of tenderness and feeling... No god could ever compare.

He says it with sincerity. There is such wonder, such love, and such awe in his eyes. He makes the act of kissing him feel like you've just reached into the trenches to but pluck him soundly from his ruin and despair. You think, Gale Dekarios, how unloved have you been all this time?

Gale: To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command… none have loved me so purely before.

The answer is: entirely.

For so long, Gale thought love was simply being chosen. He knew nothing of being favored for the quality of his character, to be cherished and accepted even in those ways he fumbles and lacks. Again, his needs were seldom met, often treated with utter indifference by Mystra herself, and to meet someone so eager to treasure him, dote on him in a way his heart, his body is somberly new to, raptures his spirit and captures his soul. He's seen for who he is. He's... loved, desired for his silly quips, his easy smiles, and his growing affections. He bares himself to them, and in turn, they cradle his heart like something entirely precious. Gale thinks this has to be dream. He says, at times, you are more than I deserve.

Scenario: (But sometimes, he hopes too strongly and loves too greatly. As it always does, then, like he's once more wanted too much, he watches something beautiful slip right through his fingers. Of course, Gale Dekarios. Of course it does.)

Player Character: I didn't know you felt so strongly, Gale. Gale: Perhaps I should have done more. Been more charming, more flattering, harder to reach... but I was only myself, and sometimes that isn't enough.

They don't love him anymore. It breaks his heart. He hurts so much, so profoundly and deeply, and he doesn't realize that he breaks their heart in turn.

Unable to ever voice his feelings with Mystra in any way that amounted to much, Gale's a tendency to wallow, expressions coming off as potentially 'guilt-tripping' and even, on occasion, passive aggressive. Firstly: Gale NEVER means to manipulate emotions, and he's no intention of twisting anyone's arm, either. Fact is, Gale, never taken seriously when he'd bared his vulnerabilities to the Mother of the Weave, can end up saying just a little too much. He feels very deeply, and for most his life, seldom had an outlet for these weeping sentiments. He sometimes lets slip raw words and oftentimes heart-wrenching expressions; all the same, it's not so pitiful as to shepherd an outcome, but rather, is a gesture taken by a man so desperate to be heard. It may feel like scheming, but the truth is far, far greyer: feeling as though he's no right to share the depth of his heart, Gale simply lets it geyser out in a way he can't cork up. In ways he doesn't realize, he's adapted to this ache, passively reacting so his feelings can at least be seen and recognized—no matter how pitifully unwhole. With someone who values so little his thoughts... well, when he slips into these moods, one can hardly feign shock.

Situation: (And if no one shows him trust and tenderness, any true care in his character or worth, Gale gets swallowed up by how wronged he was.

He thinks: Let me be a god. Let no one hurt like me anymore.)

Gale: They only want us to serve them, pray to them...and ultimately, to die for them. But what if we didn't need them? What if we wielded their power instead and helped ourselves in all the ways they refuse to? I could make that happen.

Gale is not above anger, and as stated, he is not above pettiness; however, more than that, he is not above righting himself whatever wound he was struck. Gale, if not offered much by ways of affection, understanding, is made to believe that one idea that's lived growing in his mind: Gale Dekarios is far from sufficient; he has to be more. He has to be better. Gale, in such an unkind ending for himself, sips too desperately—and perhaps greedily, too, but desperately serves as a far better word—at that idea that he needs power. And so, wresting the Crown of Karsus for himself, he spites Mystra in his own way, becoming a god he feels is leagues better than she will ever be. Damn her thoroughly. Damn her ego, her power, and her endless indifference. He will serve the people, protect them, and in ways Mystra never could, better the world.

Situation: But as a god, he loses all sense of his kindness. Humanity. All who loved him leave him, and even Tara spurns the image he's become. With power, he's gained the respect he thought he always wanted... but in turn, he lost in even greater measure all the love he's known.

Endnote: But healing, knowing to forgive himself and knowing he's deserving of care simply for being Gale Dekarios will remain, always, the best path for him.

[bottomless-brainrot]

SALTBURN AS PORTALS ( melanie martinez ) SONGS

a/n | just a fun little rant and analysis of how specific songs on the album represent a character, their actions or emotions that I believe fit how I saw them within the movie. also i've never done a character analysis before so i will try to make my ideas clear for those of you who would like to read them.

a/n | also sorry if i repeat my points lol.

saltburn spoilers below

CHARACTERS

Oliver Quick - Tunnel Vison

yeah, you can look, but you can’t touch / i’m not just anybody

not the first thing i want to get into but i will be going through the songs line by line so here goes…

to start is the obvious ‘hands off’ rule that we find out is bestowed upon all of Felix’s ‘toys’ that he has brought out to Saltburn. Vague mentions of previous friends from Venetia, the hovering eyes of Farleigh for Oliver’s next slip-up and the instant anger Felix gets at Oliver for not understanding that he wasn’t for the other and just supposed to entertain him.

it was clear that the family seemed to be fascinated with him the same way people would at a zoo or an art museum, staring at the priceless treasures from a distance and never to get as close to them as a handler would

eyes on the prize,…that’s your demise, yeah, you hold me like you’re rushing to my thighs

Oliver’s weird sexual tension with Felix throughout the movie due to that white savior complex

his way in right from the start was Felix’s need to fix him; that power in knowing that he could make him happier than whatever Oliver had now.

honeysuckle and fresh meat / but i’m more than that

the Cattons never saw Oliver to be on their level. Oliver was always told who he was and how to act from the family so much so that they believed his innocent act up until their final moments. he easily weaved himself into a core front of the family in a matter of days really showing that he wasn’t to be underestimated…

playing house to distract me / but you’re no good at acting

thinking back to the scene where Felix is talking to Oliver and Oli mentions that his family has problems and Felix instant shift of posture and interest is such a dead give away

i mean it took Oliver one bat of an eye lash and a smile to find out each individual family member’s deepest darkest secrets and twist them into a control point for his own game.

seeing that at it’s core, the Cattons weren’t anything but forced smiles and money bags of a picture perfect family. such an old money move.

i make them tumble down the hill they climbed / i don’t regret it

using the family to slowly climb up the ranks and then getting rid of them one by one just so he could have it all to himself.

king of the hill moment

show me how far obsession goes / could have been more now we’ll never know

in the end, i am a firm believer that if Felix listened and forgave him then Oliver wouldn’t have given him the poisoned glass.

if he had mentioned that they were still friends but he needed some time to think, Oli would have definitely poured out the glass and un-pretend to be wasted out if his mind to have a better conversation and 'fix' things.

but anyway, Oliver spilling his guts to Felix and still not having that wholehearted love reciprocated really did a number on him which led to the killing no doubt. what they could have had together in the end was only left for one.

i saw a post on here earlier might link if i find it but it was something like “oliver having sex above his grave because he couldn’t ever do anything with Felix unless there was a distance between them” and i couldn’t agree more!

Felix Catton - Spider Web

flexing like pricks with their stolen power / they're just who the spider will eat

not that Felix was flaunting his wealth or his social status, but that was what made him a target to Oliver as well as his desperate need to 'help' him get away from what he thought was his hectic lifestyle

he was gullible enough to believe everything he was told over his own family countless times, and even after finding out the lies he still chose to hide the truth because he didn't want to be seen in a different light to his family.

thinking about that line "you’re kind about everyone, you can't be trusted." so heavily right now.

didn't ask for this dangerous visibility / i'm feeling too scared to sleep

the moment when Oliver spills his guts and tells Felix he did it all just for him. made himself into this character just so that he could get close to him and secure his spot within his life as a friend.

it left Felix visibly staggered as he thinks about everyone else who could have done the same; everyone else he's left high and dry for his attention and the possible lengths they went through to try and get it back in his past.

better off dead than stuck in a maze / the center may seem like a gift

Felix having sex in the maze believing no one would find him there because its a place he knows like the back of his own hand. however, Oliver's interruption makes it known that he is more exposed than he thought.

also to me his death being at the center of the maze and him being the dead center of the family as they all mourn him with such vigor and slowly lose their minds really gets to me.

up all night, bound to their addiction to it / lifeless eyes, they die in the pit of the spider web

Felix's premature death being the root to how Oliver get his 'in'. he was the hub of the web and after his death is when everything truly spiraled into chaos and one by one his family followed him to the grave.

Elspeth Catton - Leeches

leeches surrounded, conscience is throbbing

Elspeth my love you dissevered only happiness.

i think we could all agree that the wealth came from her as well as the family’s popularity due to her younger years in life with her career

Elspeth, as we come to find out, has met many influential individuals throughout her life as well as the free loaders.

we hear about the numerous people that have come to Elspeth for favors and help in their troubled time, that really only used her kindness to get into a life of luxury. ( not including pamela )

although it is draining for her, she never openly complains about how helping is a bother for her building up the exhaustion until someone else brings it up.

let all their friends in, the enemy's present

Felix gets his kindness from his mother’s side obviously, thats clear in how she is so inviting with Pamela and Oliver regardless of their circumstances.

i cannot stress enough how i feel like she would have ket Pamela at Saltburn if nothing was whispered to her about how ‘awful’ Pamela was.

she was drawn into the direction of who was the problem in the eyes of others but never her own. thinking about the dinner table scene after finding Felix’s dead body n how Farleigh called out to her to save him instead of pleading his case. he knows she would have saved him like she has before.

how much blood can you draw / with your claws from a flesh that's not yours? / my hands aren't yours, and / gnaw on my bones, no marrow left

honestly hate how Oliver played the long game with her

he found out her routine after Sir James’ death, stalked her, gave her a false sense of home after losing her entire family by his hands and then killed her off and stole all her wealth.

i believe she had the most tragic death and if you want to debate on the argument of ‘innocence,’ she really displayed no evils.

Venetia - Womb

oh the rant im about to do

a seed in mother and I chose that space for me / little does she know it's free, ooh, yeah

the moment i saw her on screen i just knew she had some sort of issue with her mother and boy was i so on the spot

its vague when Elspeth mentions it so i could be completely wrong but i believe Venetia ( and Felix ) was raised by her grandparent ( “my mother always said born masochist” )

i felt that Venetia has wanted to get a rise out of her mother with her sexual activities because she was never given that parental figure she wanted. never been disciplined the way she should’ve as a child or told good from bad.

how Elspeth just dumps out all Venetia’s dirty laundry the moment she meets Oliver and doesn’t seem to care that she’s flaunting herself to a complete stranger. almost encourages it!

its no wonder she’s so close with her brother because he’s shown true spine with her

and I know my brother / he'll make the journey later on / conversations in the cosmos, yeah

if you didnt pick up on the incestuous relationship between Felix n Venetia i don’t believe we watched the same movie.

a lot of what im saying is up for debate but i know that their parents took trips frequently. the casual mention of going to London for Pamela’s funeral was all by chance and if Elspeth hadn't said anything they would have left without a word, and seeing how okay with it Venetia and Felix were gave me so many thought on them.

just being stuck in all of Saltburn by themselves just free to do with the wealth and the space as they please alone together

for years it must have always been them, maybe Farleigh was there on occasion but most of the time its been them.

and i can see with Felix it’s beyond protective brother. no he’s made claim to Venetia the same way he’s done for Oliver and all his past friends.

“i’m used to it, honestly. he never liked sharing his toys. even the ones he doesn’t want to play with anymore.” oh im so sick

at first i had thought Oliver was replaced again but she was referring to herself in this moment and that did it for me.

Felix claiming his own sister for himself, she doesn’t need another males approval because Felix is all she has depended on for her every need why should she stop now even if he doesn't think of her in that way anymore?

why should she go for another when he’s still here? why go through that pain when he’s only ever showed her real happiness?

no one could ever be as impactful as him in her life and whenever someone gets close he cuts them off. i’m gonna climb the walls

feeling alive, the closer that I get to my life / i’m pushing out the center, the core / i’m sweating through the flower no more, no more

Venetia finding her control and power through the means of her own body is sickening to me.

like openly saying how she got molested and her own mother making a joke out of it and offering her to a stranger im so sick and furious right now.

sex being the only way she’s noticed, the only way people will listen to her the way she wants instead of being seen like some fragile beauty like her mother

all of the planning, yet I still feel unprepared / kick and screaming 'cause I'm scared, ooh, yeah

sorry to bring it back to the incest but my god you cannot tell me she doesn’t get at all Felix’s closet friends for the giggles

Venetia is sickeningly scared of losing the one person in the house she’s emotional intertwined to so of course she interjects herself into his relationships the only way she knows how — and it works every time.

getting with all of Felix's best friends to spend more time with Felix as the lover of his closest friends this girl was obsessed

she knows he’ll get mad and she knows she’ll get that parental chiding from Felix but he will never cut her off the way he does his friends because they only have each other in end.

the intimacy between them tells a story only woven by having to embrace one another on a different level then just siblings. they were naked in front of each other sunbathing unabashed like a regular tuesday for fucks sake.

and I know she suffers contractions of hell and death / eyes are bloody screaming out, ooh, yeah

thinking about her final moments with this

bathing in Felix’s bath tub, soaking in his soap, smelling his aftershave on Oliver’s face like second nature, seeing his clothes on another man and feeling so disgusted and yet its so inviting.

she kisses Oliver in the heat of the moment not because its him but because if she closes her eyes and forget for just a moment it would have been Felix.

but of course its not enough and its not the same as having him there alive so she chooses.

a life on earth that's a living hell without the man that makes her whole or to be reunited with him in death. she chose the latter.

Farleigh - Void

it's tastin' kinda lonely / and my mind wants to control me

the self-preserving outcast of the Cattons.

its clear in the script and Archie did such a wonderful portrayal of his emotions because that boy Farleigh was really there for himself.

he had his own back from the get go

he’d be present within all conversation but at the same time watching everyone, pinpoint each and every shift in the pecking order and making sure he doesn’t leave his place in the middle of it all.

no one here but me to judge me

whether it ever was a race thing or if it was just a status thing, Farleigh knew of his own worth and because of it he knew the other couldn’t ever understand him no matter how much explaining would need to be done

then comes in Oliver, the outcast with a need for a approval that he knows will overshadow his own

honestly i never thought he hated him per se, but he knew of his intentions from the start he just underestimated how low Oliver would go to maintain his own position

i’m tryin' to find the doorway / my eyes are starin' at me / and they seem so damn unhappy

his family struggles and pride being his greatest turmoil of all in the movie

seeing how easily the Cattons give away their wealth to complete strangers over their own bloodline must not have been easy, especially having to go and beg for it.

i believe he wanted a way out of it, to find some way to rely on himself to support his side of the family but that wasn’t something be could have easily obtained so the Cattons were his only real option.

pipe down with the noise, i cannot bear my sorrow

Farleigh being the first to notice Oliver for who he is the night of the death and the morning following hurt me so much

if he had more of a backbone to press into Felix and the rest of the family that this nobody can’t get close to them i feel like things would have been so different.

Felix was a family matter, Oliver’s presences wasn’t a needed one especially only having known him for a single term. it was just invading

in that moment of sadness is when it clicked for Farleigh, if not that Oli was the root of the problems at Slatburn he had to be a factor in them

but do to his own emotions he couldn’t find the right way to expose it.

look at the mess i've done, there is nowhere to run, yeah / holdin' a loaded gun, the void

Oliver outing Farleigh in the end to ensure that he was dealt with in his plan. i’m furious

not that anything he was doing the night of the party was right but he wasn’t the only one

the maids scrubbing cocaine from the toilets and tables highlights that plus Venetia and Felix were there too but Farleigh was only trying to fit in and keep his place in the close circle so he joins them. if he were reluctant to or chicken out then he wouldn’t be a toy anymore and that looming pressure of loosing his funding was already enough to keep him chained to them.

but it was never something he could have denied or challenged especially with his history so he had no choice but to leave all his life and behind and get replaced by a nobody.

Sir James - Battle of the Larynx

explained within duo expression.

Pamela - The Contortionist

twisted all my limbs for you / two of them in knots and two of them in loops

poor dear Pamela

she was the only normal person in the entire film with no grudge on anyone or ill intent. literally just need a place to stay to get back on her feet and that is what the Cattons offered but because she wasn't interesting enough to entertain them they tossed her away.

asking her to fetch a made as soon as Oliver enters as an excuse to get her to leave so the conversation could shift onto her

you can tell 'em what you wanted to

Pamela didn't live a life of lavish obviously by her proper nature ( the same persona Oliver pretended to play except you know a genuine one ) so of course the others treated her as entertainment.

Farleigh and Elspeth saying her looks were her only point just a dull flower in bloom

also Elspeth's comment about how she dropping so many hints before it goes so far really bugged me

like the only time they pressed for her to leave was at the dinner when she brought up having found a place and even then it was a half assed 'oh we'll miss you so much'

twisting all my bones like screws / stretching my self-worth, just like you usually do

i think Pamela thought of Elspeth as a friend helping out

then she's suddenly thrusted out of the house without notice, bags already packed and cab fare paid as if her new arrangements had been already settled.

i cannot begin to understand how hurt she might have been in that moment and what could have been the core drive for her suicide but her death really hurt me the most.

DUO EXSPRESSIONS

Oliver & Ventia / Elspeth - Faerie Soiree

mushrooms everywhere i'm turning / laced with love, intensive grooving / they said, they sail / i know how to make you go crazy every day

the spell he casted on both Elspeth and Venetia

had both woman hooked on him trying to draw that hidden side he only expressed to them in secret.

the Oliver that got Venetia to eat again. the Oliver that had Elsepth stunned at his forwardness and thinking of him even after the incident. the Oliver that would have had Farleigh under his thumb if he hadn't went for the kill so soon.

led me astray to the faerie soirée / alone, alone / now i wanna ride with the magic / lose sight of the gravity of home

he was a welcomed distraction to both of them. a change that they hadn't thought would be influential as he was.

given them both an individual false hope - for Venetia it was a man who showed initiative if only for a moment that could toy with her instead of the other way around; for Elspeth it was familiarity he would give her some sort of normal in the now hollow halls of Saltburn.

it is such a shame both couldn't see past the fantasy until it was too late.

Oliver & Ventia - Moon Cycle

...do I really need to explain?

But in all seriousness,

he bit the cherry down, he's delirious / seeing red figures in his mirrors and / acting like a real tough, furious

giving her a outlet for her parental issues

the first man in a while that showed her dominance in a way that had her changing her whole routine

he says he doesn't care, that he's into this / it happens every time the new season hits

Venetia thought Oliver would be different than Felix's other toys that come to Saltburn, but was disappointed once again.

now he kissing on the ground that i walk on / tryna get another taste, but I'm all cramped up

her dumping him right after Felix found out ( thinking Felix had a private conversation with her ) he was eager to fic things but she wasn't going to play a game with another coward of a man.

juice melting like raspberry pomegranate / it's so scary

" no, i wanted to look at the moon. it's nearly full. do you know what that means? " | " we're all about to lose our minds. "

oh the foreshadowing. Venetia you are too powerful

seeing that version of Oliver ( the one who had her delirious ) the day of the incident. piecing together everything in the end ( you disgusting little nobody. oh my god. you ate him right up. and licked the fucking plate. ) leaving her shocked and broken over what she's done. how close she got close to the cause of it all. frightened by everything

Sir James & Elspeth - Battle of the Larynx

i speak in cursive, i'm poignant, assertive / there's musical chairs in my teeth

Sir ' what i say must be the truth always ' James

thinking about how nothing happens unless he approves. how every order and command that was ever given had went through him first if it wasn't his command to begin with

deciding that Pamela needed to leave, lowering the amount Farleigh's mom gets, cutting Farleigh off after finding out about the drugs, bribing Oliver because he needed normalcy again

and it was all enforced with such urgency too, no question to any of it like he was a general to his soldiers

don't you battle with my larynx tonight / i'll wreck you if you chase me / but i'll be silent 'til you cross the line

Sir James had minimal lines within the movie but whenever he did it held authority.

when something wasn't going the right way he'll interject ( insisting to Pamela at the dinner table that her time was due ) other than that he was silent until called upon

and they talk without thinking / they bark while they're shaking / with teeth that are round and dull

he was the controlling factor within the family and to Elspeth

he knew what was best for her all the time, he knew what she needed all the time, he knew just what to say to get her to listen all the time

i will die on this hill. Elspeth would have let Pamela stay longer if he hadn't said anything to her and she probably would have overlooked Farleigh doing drugs the day of the party if Sir James didn't fight it.

but anyway, James wasn't someone that Oliver could have manipulated, not like the rest of the family so he had to buy time until his death which he got lucky for.

Saltburn would have been unattainable if Sir James hadn't passed really.

Farleigh & Oliver - EVIL

and it felt like bliss, used to miss your kiss / now i'm hop-skip jumpin' over narcissists / ... / now the role is reversed and told you i'ma switch / how you like my spit?

they should have fucked on screen at least four more times your honor

their back and forth. cat and mouse. push and pull. the tension of fighting for the center spot of attention for the family and fucking for dominance would have done it for me

but Oliver had to fuck that up with the email. he could have really controlled Farleigh, lulled him into thinking they should work together for what they want and then hung him out to dry but no Oliver was greedy

the panic in Oliver's eyes though when Farleigh admits to being invited to the party after he thought he got rid of him was priceless

just one foiled seduction after another with him

everything i expressed, i professed / it never quite made it through / ... / no, i won't defend you to all my friends / this time, i refuse

the quips at Oliver's pride. the mentions of getting bored and tossed aside. stating his claim on Saltburn and rubbing it in his face on his birthday. Farleigh played the game well even if he lost it in the end.

if you bite my hand again / i will never feed you, you can call me evil / take it to the grave if you wanna play pretend / i won't be mistreated, please call me conceited

Oliver finding out about Farleigh's private life and family issues and Farleigh's retaliation at karaoke with "rent".

Oliver pointing out their in the same boat offering the mic and how easily Farleigh accepts the mic just like how easily he accepts his role.

shows their difference in it really; Farleigh takes it as it is, he knows what his life has become and what could happen if it ends. and yet Oliver still saw himself as something more to the Cattons and especially Felix.

Farleigh & Ventia - Powder

don't wanna know where you go when you aren't around / i'd rather stay naive, too much to believe

it's past point of no return, when will we learn? / alert me when this shit is over

the acceptance they both have to face in the end. Farleigh in knowing he's been bested and that all his wealth is gone. Venetia seeing how Oliver got to consume her own brother's identity whole and take what was most precious to her.

show me a picture you paint of someone else / lived a double life, wish i was surprised

eyes rollin' back to your head, and i'm wonderin' how / i recognize your face, put it all to waste

will never be the same again knowing that these two died seeing the truth. all the fight was stripped from them piece and left vulnerable to the emotional pain Oliver put them through.

THE CAUSE AND EFFECT

Felix to Everyone - Nymphology

call me your nymph / praise me for martyr, praise me for sin / call me your muse / a sprite or an elf you cry to, then use

Felix was everything to everyone. he could do no wrong as he was the pinnacle; forced on a pedestal he never fought for or against.

everyone wanted Felix. be it to brag about the sex, to have the money or to just let it be known that they were in his circle.

and he lived it up.

he knew the power he had on people and used it how he pleased. ditching his hookups when he got bored, cutting ties with friends that weren't of interest to his close circle anymore.

he knew of the people's infatuation, but no one ever dared to over step a boundary in fear of angering their chosen so he lived like he was untouchable. believed he was on another level to all and got so full of himself he couldn't see the signs of wandering hands getting closer and closer to the unattainable.

i'm not crazy, i'm not wild, you're just stupid, little child / get your image off my back, i'll give you a heart attack

Oliver wanted Felix in both body and mind. the devotion he forced onto Felix, begging and pleading to be his henchman again after being found out.

Felix wanted none of it, the first time ever seeing someone want him on a level of desperate he's never seen and feeling revolted

but Oliver tells it to him the way no one else could, because that is his life. people treat him like a king on his throne and approach in a line offering whatever they can to get his approval. locked in the maze with no guards he was left to see it all as it is.

Oliver to Felix - Pluto / Light Shower but will not elaborate

I think that it's finally time pluto, destroy me / kill me off slowly / i'll bathe in my ashes / rise like a phoenix / show me who I am becoming

Felix bringing Oliver to the point of no return.

cutting him off with dignity for the sake of the family not knowing he made a mistake in judgement.

Oliver not being able to handle being seen, cannot cope with knowing that his infatuation sees his true colors

pluto, transform me / turn off my lonely / i'll sit with my silence / fix all my conflict / show me the demons I'm hiding

yet at the same time, he's free.

he has had his fill of Felix - his fill of the Cattons - whether he wanted to believe it or not.

he had gotten closer than his plan had assigned, so close he's hurt by his own action. crying and fucking his grave as one last show of his 'love' left soaking in the muck.

moving on with no regrets to the next phase of the plan.

Oliver to the Cattons - Milk of the Siren

strangle the fear of deciding / which one's deserving to drown

the montage at the end

Oliver's plan unfolding the moment he laid eyes on Felix. how he watched and waited, studied what would have made him noticeable. Found out his class schedule and he sabotaged his bike, weaved a lie so great that when it was found out he had to die.

tired of silence and being polite / your legs turn to shimmering scales in the night

Oliver hunting the Cattons in the evening. whispers to Elsepth, the peeping tom moments with Felix, following Venetia, fucking Farleigh.

all of it under the moons watchful eye.

don't feel bad when these fuckers all drown / let them drown / let them drown / let them drown

" and you made it so easy. spoiled dogs sleeping belly-up." | " no natural predators. " | " well... almost none. "

nothing wrong with a little havoc (drink from the leche of sirens) / it's fun when shit hits the fan

all the side notes in the script. ( he looks up to see Duncan’s silhouette staring down at him from the hill above. he can deal with that later. )

he had fun toying with them all and becoming the new king. putting all their wealth to a better use than he thought they could.

[albonoooo]

thank you for the tag @borntogayz <3

star sign: pisces

favourite holiday: christmas (for the cozy vibes and food)

last meal: rice and stir-fried veggies

current favourite musician: this changes daily, but lately i've been listening to a lot of palaye royale (damn you, liquid) and nostalgic 2000s music like britney spears, beyoncé, christina aguilera and the pussycat dolls.

last music listened to: i'm listening to palaye royale as i'm typing this.

last movie watched: drei haselnüsse für aschenbrödel (which is the same answer i gave in a tag game a few weeks ago lol)

last tv show watched: it's been months since i've watched any show, but i think it's the witcher.

last book/fic finished: the last book i finished is to kill a kingdom by alexandra christo (only took me one and a half years). i'm not sure about the last fic, probably something from the kinkmeme idk.

last book/fic abandoned: the last book i abandoned (for now) is bleak house by charles dickens. i technically had to read it for a seminar, but it's just too fucking long. as for fics, i don't really "abandon" any, i just keep them in my library (marked for later section) until i get to them, whenever that may be.

currently reading: as per the previously mentioned older tag game, i'm still reading the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde. since my last answer, i have made zero progress.

last thing researched for writing/art/hyperfixation: does frantically looking for the right pictures of alex albon in red bull gear as well as articles about him leaving/them sacking him at 3am count?

favourite online fandom memory: honestly just discovering that there was fanfiction beyond x reader stuff was eye-opening. the first few m/m k-pop fics i read had such a huge impact on me, i can still recite the plot down to the smallest details.

favourite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: it's not old per se, but the pedro pascal girlies (gn) seem to be having a great time atm. i had my pedro moment in 2019/2020 when i watched triple frontier for the first six times, but maybe i should revisit that.

favourite thing you enjoy that never had an active or big fandom, but you wish it did: i've been thinking about this for ten minutes, i can't think of anything. if something comes to my mind later, i'll just add it then. EDIT: my best friend and i have an unhealthy obsession with the film napola (more specifically, max riemelt in it. the film itself is quite dark), but barely anyone even knows it. devastating.

tempting project you're trying to rein in/don't have time for: i'm currently trying to learn how to make web weaves because i have a bunch of ideas, but uni comes first unfortunately.

zero pressure tags in case you want to do this: @wanderingblindly @piastrisms @hrhgeorgerussell @bright-and-burning @liamlawsonlesbian

[a-tiny-sloth]

i understood the web weaving post but i wanna hear you ramble about it anyways

thank u for enabling me as always thunder <3

this is ridiculously long, i tried my best at formatting it so it's easy to read, hope it is. still putting a cut here

for the first verse (black hole opened in the kitchen/every clock's a different time/it would only take the energy to fix it/i don't know why i am) i first chose one of the things jimmy says to piero in the phonecall at the party, which essentially boils down to "i don't know who i am" because i liked the idea of the last and first line somewhat mirroring each other (parallelism babyyy i love my rhetorical devices), but also that juxtaposition of the who/why. essentially, phoebe (or better, the poetic persona) and jimmy are both feeling stuck here and questioning themselves. that's also why i chose the friday joan of arc quote next (it is true i wished to escape; and so i wish still; is not this lawful for all prisoners?): to drive home that feeling of being stuck

for the first chorus (the way i am/not strong enough to be your man/i tried, i can't/stop staring at the ceiling fan and spinning out about things that haven't happened/breathing in and out) i chose a quote from when jimmy starts to dissociate during the meet and greet (but i'm gone, i'm already gone, i'm up above the three of us and gazing down at the three bodies and wondering who on earth decided that these three pathetically flawed human beings deserved so much worship) because of a) the "not strong enough to be your man" bit (he's not strong enough to face them and questions if he's even worth their worship), b) the whole "staring at the ceiling fan" line fits jimmy's anxiety perfectly and c) i just thought it was neat to have the juxtaposition of the rethorical persona of not strong enough staring up and jimmy staring down. the next line (hold the crucifix up before my eyes so i may see it until i die) is then supposed to fit with both of the other quotes, the ceiling fan and crucifix mirroring each other and the idea of worship/religion in jimmy's line being reiterated here

i skipped the second verse for lack of good lines to compare it to lmao

for the second chorus (the way i am/not strong enough to be your man/i lied, i am/just lowering your expectations/half a mind that keeps the other second-guessing/close my eyes and count) i chose another quote from the phonecall (everywhere i go, everything i do... i'm lying. i'm pretending. and everyone's watching me... waiting for me to get it wrong) for the similar themes of lies/dealing with others expectations/second-guessing yourself

for the bridge (always an angel, never a god) i chose a fereshteh quote where she calls jimmy an angel (but god, if anyone's the angel around here, it's him) because duh (but it is interesting to note that jimmy is very much called a god in iwbft... food for thought)

and finally, for the last chorus (i don't know why i am/there's something in the static/i think i've been having revelations/coming to in the front seat, nearly empty/skip the exit to our old street and go home/go home alone) i chose part of jimmy's and fereshteh's dialogue at st pancras ('home?' 'i want to go home.' 'like... like your apartment?' 'no,' i say. 'home. my actual home. where i grew up.') mostly as a juxtaposition because while the poetical persona is going home alone, jimmy takes someone with him. ultimately there's still mirroring tho, because they both want to go home (find peace?). and finally, the last line (i was in my thirteenth year when i heard a voice from god) is again supposed to fit with both of the other quotes, through "i've been having revelations" vs. the voice from god and through "where i grew up" vs. "when i was in my thirteenth year"

anyways, i think it's obvious not strong enough and iwbft are highly comparable due to religious imagery/anxiety/self-worth issues etc etc and i mostly just had fun here

[likesummerrainn]

not a girl, a king. 

king, lilith czar // the bird king, g. willow wilson // take the throne, alex stoddard // king, florence and the machine