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#And it was a lot for me mentally and emotionally to write.
Note
Hey girl! Since you write 2 of my fave genres and saw your're accepting requests I hope that maybe this message reaches you and you will give my idea a try. It is of course some angst to fluff with Gojo x reader. Both in their 20s (let's say JJK0), reader is pretty new to the Jujutsu world but just as strong as Satoru, super funny and sarcastic but very chill (so a bit his opposite if you will). Shoko, being close with the reader notices that she has feelings for Gojo and she doesn't confess because of fear of rejection. Things get worse when reader *thinks* she sees him flirting and tries distancing herself and wallow a bit. So maybe at the end either something happens and Gojo confesses (in his own emotionally constipated way) ooorrr Shoko *helps* out a bit by having a talk with good 'ol Gojo (or both *wink*). Either way, you take this idea, turn it, twist it, do whatever your magical talented self wants with it and you have all the love from me (you have it nevertheless ^^). Thank youu
Misunderstandings Can Often Be Helpful {Gojo Satoru}
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A/n: thank you for requesting, I hope you like it
Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader
Trigger Warnings: none
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Everyone who knew Gojo in a relatively more personal level could see it. Geto leaving hurt him. His wounds were still fresh and bleeding but he was now the strongest. Alone. The word didn't even feel right, refering to himself as the strongest when he had been so used to saying "we" since Geto was supposed to be always there with him. His best friend. His one and only.
But life went on and soon a new student was announced. With the only exception that you were no regular student. After the arrival of Yuta in Jujutsu Tech, Gojo had naturally expected you to be more around the first years age. The shock on his face when he learnt that you were just a few years younger than him would forever remain imprinted on your meomory... and on paper since Shoko managed to take a picture of him.
When the principal told him about you, Gojo expected to see someone with no abilities whatsoever. He knew of course that you were almost on the same level as him power-wise and from Yaga's sayings, you had no idea how to control your powers. It went without saying that he had been assigned to be your teacher since he not only was the only one who overpowered you but because he was the only one knowledgeable enough to help you understand and control your powers. That was what he told Shoko anyways.
What he didn't expect however was to get his ass kicked both physically and mentally. And all that on your first day there as well.
"Whoah, were are you going?" He quickly stood up, stretching his back. The last kick you had given him behind the knees had been enough to make him realise that turning off his limitless was a wrong decision.
"To get some water, I assumed we were taking a break? You seemed really friendly with the floor." You opened the door, ready to walk out.
"Do you usually assume a lot of things?"
"It appears as such. I assumed you were stronger in physical combat."
Now that was a hit below the belt. Apart from Geto and occasionally Shoko, no one ever had the balls to call him... weak. Gojo Satoru wasn't weak. He was the strongest!
"Damn that would have looked great on camera..." Shoko shrugged, blowing out the smoke from her cigarette.
"Are you kidding me? I don't even have time to respond! It's one sarcastic comment after another!" Gojo chuckled before shouting a 'time out' for the first years.
After that day, Shoko took a great liking in you, mostly because Gojo seemed to be getting gradually better emotionally. In fact, she went to properly meet you the very next day. And the rest was history.
You and Gojo were the only reasons why she would stay up late in her office, waiting for your training session to end, just so she can catch up with all the latest gossip brought by none other than the new strongest duo.
But Shoko was no fool. Be it after training sessions, after missions or even after some casual nights out with the two of you, she had quickly picked up on the way you looked at Gojo. It wasn't really admiration. Hanging out with his annoying ass had brought your ego to the same level as his. It wasn't the expected teacher-student dynamic either. That had long been gone after you managed to give him a black eye (accidentally obviously) during your early days of training.
It was something else, something she could say was a developing crush on the world's most annoying human being. But it was fun seeing it. Gojo knew your favourite drink by heart and would order it for you before you could even open your mouth. You would slightly blush when he would pass it on to you after the waiter mistaking it for his order. On extremely rare occasions she would catch your apologetic expression as you brought him to her office after landing him a hit that wasn't supposed to hurt him at all. Not to mention how she would notice you looking at him during your breaks. Yes, that was what sealed the deal for her.
The only problem was... Shoko knew Gojo and most importantly, she knew the reputation that surrounded him and if not the reputation then... the crowds of women. Not to be mistaken though, Geto was surprisingly far more popular with women back when Gojo and him were teens.
"You're here alone? That's a new one." She patted Maki's back, signaling for her to leave as Gojo entered the office.
"Yeah well... y/n left right after practice ended." He groaned and laid down on the cold metal bed Shoko had. "She did strain her leg though so I don't know why she refused when I offered to take her to you."
Shoko's alarms went off. You, refusing help from none other than Gojo Satoru? The guy you had a crush on for the last year now? Sure, there had been a few times here and there when you refused to help each other out of pure banter but at the end of the day, both of you walked into her office together.
"What's with that smile?" Gojo raised the left side of his blindfold just to side eye Shoko. "It's creepy."
But Shoko's life had just gotten a new meaning because the very next day she was ringing the doorbell of your apartment. She knew it was Saturday, you didn't have any missions and no practice time with Gojo so this was the perfect time to learn what had happened the night before.
Shoko wasn't someone who liked gossip. Scratch that: she wasn't someone who liked to work in order to learn the latest gossip. To his credit though, Geto always brought her something juicy. With him now gone, she was counting on you and Gojo.
"It's... 8 in the morning... what are you doing here? Why are you even up so early?" You let out a yawn and stepped aside to let her walk in your apartment.
"I need to know everything." She removed her shoes and her coat. "And when I mean everything, I mean even the tiniest bit of sweat that ran down Gojo's exposed forehead that made you not come to my office yesterday." With an air filled with nonchalance, Shoko took the ashtray you had bought specifically for her and walked towards your balcony. She knew you didn't like the smell of smoke in your house. "Come on! I need words coming out of your mouth sweetheart!"
You would have made up an excuse. Shoko knew you would, she could practically see it forming in your head but she knew you weren't going to say it. Because she was your best friend and you were hers and in the past year, the two of you had shared more secrets with each other than she had with anyone else. Yaga's hemorrhoids? You had discussed that in your first week there. Yuta's crush on Maki? Been there, said that.
"Um... I just... does he have a girlfriend?"
"No? Why?"
"Because... like..." And then you finally caved in, taking the closest chair and placing it next to the one Shoko was sitting on. "Two days ago, after we had returned from our mission, I filled in the paperwork and as I was heading to Yaga's office I saw him talking to a woman... and she seemed both serious and flirty?"
"How did she look like?" Shoko asked a little hesitantly, hoping you weren't talking about the one she thought you were talking about.
"Tall, blonde hair, she was holding a helmet."
Her assumptions had been correct. "Yuki? Tsukumo Yuki?" She turned to look at you with wide eyes and a cigarette that was hanging so loosely from her fingers that could fall in any moment. When you didn't respond, Shoko bursted out laughing. "Are you shitting me? Yuki is a special grade sorcerer. She would never... god... anyways, I have to go to the office."
That was a lie. Shoko wasn't going to the office.
Conveniently enough, yours and Gojo's apartment were as close as a fifteen minute walk so when she finally reached the fifth floor of his flat, she wasn't breathless.
"If you don't confess to that poor girl in the next hour, I will personally call her and tell her that her contact name in your phone is love. With a red heart."
"It's almost nine in the morning what are you doing here? Why are you even up so early?" He let out a yawn but unlike you, he didn't let her in so Shoko just pushed her way in. "No matter the case, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh you do. You have bought her kikufuku over a thousand times. Kikufuku that were meant for you!"
"I am a person who likes to share." Gojo leaned against the kitchen bar.
"He is lying." The old lady that he had hired to clean his house on Saturdays spoke, walking out of his bathroom. "He keeps following me while I clean and talks about her. I even sent her a gift on her birthday since aparently I know her better than her own mother."
Shoko's eyes widened at the sound of this new information and it wasn't long before she started throwing the apples on the kitchen counter at Gojo.
It took Gojo three minutes to put on some nice clothes and he could swear that if Shoko was tall enough to reach him, she would be dragging him to your house by his ear.
"What's-"
"Have fun!" Shoko pushed Gojo inside your apartment and before both of you could protest, she closed the door and glued her ear on it so she could listen to every single word, every single comma said between the two of you.
"How's your leg?" He asked. If anyone were to grade him right now, maybe he could get a D- for the effort.
"I'll live."
"Um... so..."
Was he nervous? Gojo Satoru, nervous. Let me rephrase that: Gojo Satoru was nervous while talking to a woman?
"You have made huge progress this past year. And I appreciate that we..."
The truth was that not even Satoru himself knew why he was so nervous. He had performed this speech for months in front of his mirror even though he knew how unlike himself this was. Gojo Satoru never rehearsed love confessions because he never needed any. The girls confessed to him, not the other way around.
"We?"
"Please calm down a little. I am trying to remember the highlighted part at the corner of the page."
No, he hadn't written anything down. Hell, he had never even completed one rehearsal of this supposed love confession. But humour came naturally to him; it was the only way Gojo knew when it came to dealing with stressful situations. Especially after Geto left.
"I am glad we are the strongest um... together."
"Sure." You brushed it off, unaware of the amount of effort this poor guy was putting into confessing.
"Great, I'll pick you up at 7."
"For what?"
"Our date?"
"What date?"
"The one I am taking you on because I just confessed and this is what couples do?" A small pause followed and Gojo could practically feel the sweat staining his forehead even though he wasn't really sweating. "No?"
"8 works better."
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recitedemise · 5 months
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𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲'𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿. This lengthy headcanon will refer to canon dialogue from mostly Gale, sometimes others. Reader's discretion is very much advised. There will be in depth explorations into grooming, emotional abuse, heavy manipulation, and suicide.
First, let it be said that Gale, a mortal man, will always be the powerless one in his dynamic with Mystra. Of course, nearing forty years of age, he remains entirely responsible for his own actions, his own foul blunders and every hurt he'll cause, but it's important to remember who formed much of who he is: his goddess, his deity, and egregiously, his lover.
Mystra is power. Mystra is possibility. She knows what sway she holds over her Ioyal, vulnerable, and entirely mortal followers. In all ways that matter, they are but lambs she can steer and herd as she sees fit. She knows they can't deny her, and knows they'll never want to. Gale's sheer servitude and complete devotion; to the very quick of his bones, she lapped them up.
Gale: I was just... practising an incantation. Player Character: No, there's more to it than that. I know devotion when I see it. Gale: What can I say? She's—she's Mystra. I can't describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her - to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence... Mystra is all magic. And as far as I'm concerned, she is all creation. Player Character: I didn't realize the depth of your devotion. Gale: Magic is... my life. I've been touched with the Weave for as long as I can remember. There's nothing like it.
Gale, orb in his chest, doomed to be eaten by the very thing he loves the most, still speaks so reverently of the goddess, of his lover that has left him to die. He conjures images of her memory—and she is all the while forgetting about his.
Minsc: Gale reminds me of vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rasheman. While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth, I thought it born of caution after some catastrophe of wizardly men-folk of old. Now, I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm?
Tales of Mystra's treachery spreads far, leaving those familiar waters surrounding Gale's tower in Waterdeep. They whisper her name, afraid to utter it one time too many, suspecting, perhaps, that she'll show in their mirror like some Faerûnian Bloody Mary.
Talent rouses Mystra. She can see who uses the gift of the Weave and feel them, sampling whatever delight sings their veins as they pull from her domain. Not unlike a spider, she'll follows every tremor that strikes her as just a sliver more profound; and Gale, a prodigy, plucked the Weave's web to so garner her focus. And like some black widow scurrying, she surged down that ripple to prey on a boy. There, Gale, so impressionable, was just a mite older than twelve whole summers. He sat so stunned, beholding Mystra as she lured him into the cradle of her Astral domain. Bathed in her magic, pleasantly coddled within that glittering cosmos, Gale felt blessed in a way he'll struggle always to recount, no word, no language, fit to describe it. He felt chosen. He felt seen. And potently, to a child, he felt loved. Now, imagine a child experiencing something like that. Imagine what they'd think, how brilliant they must be when stood beside the rest. She told him he was gifted, made his heart swell not unlike a child's appetite for praise. She knew what she was doing by offering these morsels, by preying on a child's most delicate mind, and Gale, child prodigy, was already so awash in the idea that his value was in magic. Unfortunately, Gale, susceptible, had no way of squirming out of his goddess' grasp.
Reality: She's laid down the seeds to creep into his heart. When he's just old enough—seventeen's sufficient, she thinks—she stakes her claim and makes him hers.
Gale: My virtuosic talent once caught the eye of the goddess of magic herself, Mystra, who named me her chosen and her lover.
Gale is stunned when she takes him to bed the first time. (Is this really happening?) Mystra claims his mouth in a kiss, taking everything she knows he offers so willingly. Mystra, of course, is not so stunned.
Dream Visitor: An elder brain... one of the cruelest and most powerful creatures in existence, enslaved by mere mortals. Gale, tasked with Mystra's missive to sacrifice himself: This is it... I must do as Mystra commands.
Gale has worryingly low self-esteem beyond his magic. As already explored, his entire worth as a man hinged on and was built entirely off his talent as a wizard. He fought tooth and nail for any crumb of affection Mystra would offer his way, something she only gave him at all seeing his gift as a child. He wants her forgiveness. He desires it genuinely. He believes so firmly that he has wronged his goddess, buying into the idea that sacrificing himself will right his wrong. She holds such dominion over him, making him reduce his confidence in himself into a mere, trifling pittance; after all, she wasn't just his lover, but the patron deity he prays to. And regardless, Gale is a people pleaser, his initial acceptance of her missive coming as no surprise.
After all, Gale, at times, goes to incredible lengths to appease his audience. This habit, compulsion, impulse, whatever you want to call it, is a quality that was relentlessly exacerbated in his relationship with his immortal paramour. He wanted to content her, felt all he did was never enough, for as a matter of principle, he was oceans, leagues, and entire galaxies beneath her. Gale figures: well, how can a short-lived dalliance satisfy a god? He had to make her happy. Indeed, he'd done everything she'd ask. He'd bedded her how she liked, kissed her how she wanted, and of course, even said those words she'd said tasted best. She was his lover, a lover that never tended to his own needs and pleasures, and he fooled himself into thinking that's enough. He won't bend backwards for everyone, mind you, but if you're of the ones he would, he would stop at nothing to make you happy. After all, people pleasing is a way to keep oneself safe, a trauma response to sidestep discomfort, and though it achieves only a direly tentative peace, when that is all you've been fed, you will pursue it.
Gale did not want to lose Mystra; he couldn't bare the sting of it. And so, when Elminster visited him, Mystra's call for his death offered oh so callously, Gale, heartbroken, felt that part of him kick up. He couldn't endure the guilt, was so hungry for a chance to let his weighty heart breathe, even if it meant dying in the process.
At least this way, he'll finally do something right. At least this way, Mystra will forgive him, and all his friends will survive.
Gale: After I was afflicted with my condition, I locked myself in my tower for an entire year. I was inconsolable, wallowing in my self-inflicted tragedy. I'd given up on myself.
As a byproduct of people pleasing, Gale, too, is all too quick to accept all guilt. He self-deprecates, gaslights himself to a venomous degree, and twists his reality in so cruel a way as to make him the villain Mystra'd led him to believe. He self-flagellates himself, the first one in the world who will throw Gale of Waterdeep a mental punishment. Mystra's a goddess, after all, seen as utterly faultless, and twined so tightly with a being so mighty in esteem, Gale slipped into the role of the guilty often. When tied with anyone with grandeur like this, so immeasurable in their own self worth, it's important to keep in mind this: you are nothing but a prop in which to fulfill their ego. Gale was not Mystra's, not by a long shot. Rather, Gale was a tool, simply her mortal extension.
And he took every blow meant for her... a common and terrible habit for many people in imbalanced, ego-fueled relationships.
Gale's life beyond her wasn't something that interested her. She took most of Gale's devotion, manipulated his life to be her sole mantle of attention, for Mystra is not a goddess that shares very happily.
Indeed, long before his self-imposed isolation, this jealous deity did well at keeping him isolated.
Player Character: Picture kissing him. With tenderness. Then, with passion. Gale: I... I didn't think— Narrator: You perceive quick-fire embarrassment, trepidation, and finally... elation.
And so, cheated out of love, so reduced in his value as a man and lover both, suffice to say, Gale's slow to believe he can ever be loved. That's what happens when you're with someone so cold, consistent only in their infinite lack of respect. Gale looks at fondness, and he feels—confounded, to be sure. He thinks, is this truly mine to have? He doesn't know what to do, is nearly forty in game, and despite having lived decades devoted to one relationship, he feels, at the same time, entirely out of depth. To be frank, he greets it with embarrassment, like he's been caught red handed with something not his at all. He's like a child caught rummaging with his hand in a cookie jar, all this isn't mine to enjoy, not mine to indulge in, but he thinks, startled, but god, do I want. He wars with disbelief, uncertainty, and need, and in so many ways feeling utterly starved, with just a glimmer of affection, he falls fast into love.
Scenario: (And if properly romanced, it changes his world.)
Gale: In her (Mystra's) likeness, I used to read a thousand stories. She was beauty, wisdom, elegance, power... she contained universes. But now... it is hard to see any redeeming qualities in a lover who condemned you to death. I'd much rather gaze into your eyes than hers. Yours are capable of tenderness and feeling... No god could ever compare.
He says it with sincerity. There is such wonder, such love, and such awe in his eyes. He makes the act of kissing him feel like you've just reached into the trenches to but pluck him soundly from his ruin and despair. You think, Gale Dekarios, how unloved have you been all this time?
Gale: To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command… none have loved me so purely before.
The answer is: entirely.
For so long, Gale thought love was simply being chosen. He knew nothing of being favored for the quality of his character, to be cherished and accepted even in those ways he fumbles and lacks. Again, his needs were seldom met, often treated with utter indifference by Mystra herself, and to meet someone so eager to treasure him, dote on him in a way his heart, his body is somberly new to, raptures his spirit and captures his soul. He's seen for who he is. He's... loved, desired for his silly quips, his easy smiles, and his growing affections. He bares himself to them, and in turn, they cradle his heart like something entirely precious. Gale thinks this has to be dream. He says, at times, you are more than I deserve.
Scenario: (But sometimes, he hopes too strongly and loves too greatly. As it always does, then, like he's once more wanted too much, he watches something beautiful slip right through his fingers. Of course, Gale Dekarios. Of course it does.)
Player Character: I didn't know you felt so strongly, Gale. Gale: Perhaps I should have done more. Been more charming, more flattering, harder to reach... but I was only myself, and sometimes that isn't enough.
They don't love him anymore. It breaks his heart. He hurts so much, so profoundly and deeply, and he doesn't realize that he breaks their heart in turn.
Unable to ever voice his feelings with Mystra in any way that amounted to much, Gale's a tendency to wallow, expressions coming off as potentially 'guilt-tripping' and even, on occasion, passive aggressive. Firstly: Gale NEVER means to manipulate emotions, and he's no intention of twisting anyone's arm, either. Fact is, Gale, never taken seriously when he'd bared his vulnerabilities to the Mother of the Weave, can end up saying just a little too much. He feels very deeply, and for most his life, seldom had an outlet for these weeping sentiments. He sometimes lets slip raw words and oftentimes heart-wrenching expressions; all the same, it's not so pitiful as to shepherd an outcome, but rather, is a gesture taken by a man so desperate to be heard. It may feel like scheming, but the truth is far, far greyer: feeling as though he's no right to share the depth of his heart, Gale simply lets it geyser out in a way he can't cork up. In ways he doesn't realize, he's adapted to this ache, passively reacting so his feelings can at least be seen and recognized—no matter how pitifully unwhole. With someone who values so little his thoughts... well, when he slips into these moods, one can hardly feign shock.
Situation: (And if no one shows him trust and tenderness, any true care in his character or worth, Gale gets swallowed up by how wronged he was.
He thinks: Let me be a god. Let no one hurt like me anymore.)
Gale: They only want us to serve them, pray to them...and ultimately, to die for them. But what if we didn't need them? What if we wielded their power instead and helped ourselves in all the ways they refuse to? I could make that happen.
Gale is not above anger, and as stated, he is not above pettiness; however, more than that, he is not above righting himself whatever wound he was struck. Gale, if not offered much by ways of affection, understanding, is made to believe that one idea that's lived growing in his mind: Gale Dekarios is far from sufficient; he has to be more. He has to be better. Gale, in such an unkind ending for himself, sips too desperately—and perhaps greedily, too, but desperately serves as a far better word—at that idea that he needs power. And so, wresting the Crown of Karsus for himself, he spites Mystra in his own way, becoming a god he feels is leagues better than she will ever be. Damn her thoroughly. Damn her ego, her power, and her endless indifference. He will serve the people, protect them, and in ways Mystra never could, better the world.
Situation: But as a god, he loses all sense of his kindness. Humanity. All who loved him leave him, and even Tara spurns the image he's become. With power, he's gained the respect he thought he always wanted... but in turn, he lost in even greater measure all the love he's known.
Endnote: But healing, knowing to forgive himself and knowing he's deserving of care simply for being Gale Dekarios will remain, always, the best path for him.
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xenon-demon · 9 months
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I... have no idea what this is. No that's a lie I know exactly what this is, it's 2.6k of a Frozen AU with Steve as Elsa and Robin as Anna that I wrote in a fugue state after seeing a friend's production of Frozen: The Musical tonight. I have several WIPs I'm supposed to be working on and this is exactly none of them. Bone apple teeth. (Also I'm genuinely unsure if my usual crew of beloved enablers would even WANT to be tagged in this so... for now I'm not doing a taglist, and if I write any more of this AU I'll do one next time 😂)
“Steve!”
At the sound of his name, the Prince — now King, and boy is Robin going to take a while to get used to that — turns his head towards her. Seeing it's Robin, Steve gives his apologies to whatever noble he was talking to and steps away from their conversation. He makes his way over to Robin in just a few short strides, but his eyes flick back and forth between Robin and her new... well. She doesn't really want to think about what Eddie now is to her. In any case, she can already see a questioning frown start to brew on Steve's face, meaning this will be a much harder sell than she expected.
“Robin!” Steve exclaims, his gaze almost immediately sliding over to Eddie and giving him a once-over. He sounds markedly more subdued when he continues, “I see you've... made a friend.”
“Well, I wouldn't say a friend exactly!” Robin laughs, shrill and stilted, and gives Eddie's arm a pointed squeeze when he doesn't immediately join in. Getting the hint, Eddie finally starts laughing along. Hopefully Steve didn't notice her hinting, since she's had her arm wrapped around Eddie's since before she even called him over.
Steve raises an eyebrow at her, and shit does she need to keep this moving.
“This,” Robin announces, using the hand that's not around Eddie's arm to do a quick flourish in the direction of his face, “is Prince Edward of the Kingdom of Forest-Upon-Hills. We met at the ball tonight.”
“It's an absolute pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty,” says Eddie, trying his best to show the proper respect and bow as he does so. Robin's death grip on his arm prevents him from getting very far.
“Likewise,” Steve replies, sounding incredibly skeptical of this whole conversation. He then shoots Robin a look, which, rude, but also entirely warranted given what she's about to ask him.
Steeling herself, Robin begins to say, “Prince Edward and I-”
“Just Eddie is fine,” Eddie interrupts her, leaning in a little bit closer to her as he whispers. He's got terrible volume control, however, so she wouldn't know it was meant to be a whisper if she hadn't spent the past two hours talking to him.
“Not one for formalities, Prince Eddie?” Steve asks, the weight of his gaze finally leaving Robin's shoulders for a moment. God, she often wishes her brother was easier to read, but never as strongly as she does right now.
Eddie, meanwhile, straightens up so quickly it's like he's been electrocuted.
“Uh, not particularly, no. They grate on me,” Eddie says. He pauses for a moment, and Robin can see the deliberation on his face before he adds, “Your Majesty.”
“I'm not one for formalities either, Prince Eddie,” Steve says. His mouth twitches into a very small smile. “I prefer Steve.”
There's a pause, then, where Steve and Eddie are locked into some strange stare-down, while Robin looks on in vague exasperation. She's pretty sure she could strip naked and swing from the chandelier in the center of the ballroom and neither of them would take any notice of her. She's about to intervene, actually, because they really do not have time for whatever this is, when Eddie miraculously breaks the spell himself. He blinks a bit, looking away from Steve and back to Robin, face significantly more flushed than it was a minute ago.
“I believe you were saying something to K- to Steve, Princess?” Eddie asks, just about tripping over Steve's new title on instinct before catching himself.
Robin just barely restrains herself from rolling her eyes. She really is the bravest, most long-suffering warrior in all of Hawkins.
Putting her brave face back on, Robin turns to her brother and says, “Yes I was, thank you Eddie, I was saying that Prince Eddie and I-” and here she falters, because Steve looks back at her and meets her gaze. She swallows, trying to be subtle, and looks very pointedly at Steve's forehead instead of his eyes. She can't do this if she's looking him in the eye.
She takes another half second to compose herself, then rips the band-aid off.
“Prince Eddie and I seek your blessing for our marriage.”
“Excuse me?” Steve says, more like demands, almost choking on nothing. Robin's never seen her brother this off-kilter in her life. He doesn't even try to compose himself at  all before he says, “Robin, can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?”
Robin swallows guiltily, knowing he'll see straight through her if she agrees.
“No. Anything you want to say to me, you can say to both of us,” Robin says, and how her voice stays steady, she doesn't even know. It probably helps that she's still not looking Steve in the eye.
“Robin- I don't-” Steve interrupts himself to run his gloved hands down his face. He pauses for a moment, face completely covered by his hands, and takes a deep sigh. When he removes his hands and starts speaking again, his voice is measured. Calm. Deadly.
“Rob, you can't marry a man you just met,” Steve states. The word man falls heavy off his tongue, and Robin knew she would regret coming out as a lesbian, she just didn't think it would be like this. Squaring herself up for the best performance of her life, Robin begins her improvised speech full of bullshit to convince her brother to let her do this.
Before she can, however, Eddie chimes in with, "You can if it's true love." Steve doesn't even spare Eddie a glance, but his frown does deepen significantly. Shit.
“Steve,” Robin begins, trying very hard to stay calm, “Eddie and I have a connection unlike any I've ever felt before. I lo-love him”—shit, she could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat saying that, and judging by the almost-imperceptible twitch in Steve's eye, he knows too—“and I think it's time I start giving back to the Kingdom of Hawkins.”
“Giving back?” Steve asks, and fuck he's folding his arms across his chest now. “How exactly is this giving back to the kingdom? What you're doing is running headfirst into the first bad decision you can find.”
”I'm a bad decision?” Eddie asks. Both Robin and Steve ignore him.
“No, Steve, I'm giving back by giving the kingdom a new celebration to look forward to after your coronation,” Robin hisses. “A royal wedding is another opportunity to open the castle gates and bring the kingdom together-”
“Absolutely not,” Steve snaps, interrupting her. “We are not opening up the castle gates again for a long time.”
“Why not, Steve?” Robin snaps back. “Tonight's been great for the kingdom's morale, it's been great for you to see people and actually socialize-”
“You have no idea what's good for me, Robin,” Steve says, making her stop dead. It hurts, hearing Steve say that like it's obvious and she's stupid for not knowing it already. What hurts more is that it’s true.
Once it's clear Robin won't keep talking, Steve continues, “You asked for my blessing, and I do not give it. I don't approve of this, and if you're doing this in some misguided attempt to make me happy- quite frankly you've gone insane if you think this would make me happy.”
With that, he turns to walk away.
Okay, sure, she has no idea what Steve's whole deal is or why he's always shutting her out, but Robin is sure she knows what will help.
Sure, part of this crazy scheme is the vague idea that if Robin has a picture-perfect capable-of-bearing-children partnership, then Steve will be under less pressure himself to marry someone who can produce an heir. Maybe, with less scrutiny on his personal choices, he'll learn to relax and open up more over time. That idea falls apart pretty quickly, however, as the thought of producing an heir with a man - even one as fun to talk to as Eddie - makes her want to gouge her own eyes out. No, the real reasoning behind Robin's (admittedly insane) plan to marry someone she met two hours ago at her brother's coronation is so she has an ironclad reason for Steve to open the gates again. Sure, ideally it would've been a woman who caught her eye tonight, but she can't be picky. Robin doesn't meet anyone, especially with the castle locked up like it always is, and she has yet to think of something other than a wedding that would convince Steve to open the gates. Then Eddie came along, laughing and flirting (she thinks, at least; Robin's tried to black that part out) and professing his undying true love to her, and this was the best opportunity she was ever going to get.
And she has to convince her brother to open the gates again. Steve's been thriving tonight. He clearly loves the thrum of people, all of them dancing and laughing and enjoying themselves, and he's slowly coming out of his shell with every conversation he has with their subjects. Robin's spent more time talking to her brother tonight than she has in a long, long time. Too long for her to try to quantify it without crying.
Watching her brother turn away from her, the promise of a relationship with him going forward about to slip through her fingers, she knows she has to do something.
“Steve, wait-” Robin says, reaching out for Steve. She grabs him by the hand, feeling the soft cotton of the white gloves he always, always wears.
“Enough, Robin,” Steve says, not even looking back as he yanks his hand out of her grip. She's trying to hold on, though, so she's left holding his glove as Steve pulls his now-bare hand away from her. God, how upsetting is it that it's been years since she saw the back of her own brother's hands?
Steve swears, then, under his breath. Robin almost doesn't hear it; almost.
“Robin, give me my glove.” Steve's not asking; he's demanding. Robin can work with this.
“Not unless you talk to me about why you won't open the gates. Look at how tonight went, it's been so good for you-”
“This isn't up for debate, Robin, give me my glove,” and Steve reaches for it then, but Robin quickly holds the glove up high above her head before he can grab it.
“Why isn't it up for debate? Why do you isolate yourself all the time?” Robin's almost dancing now, twisting and turning as she tries to keep the glove away from Steve's grabbing hands. It doesn't help that he's taller than her, but she's more agile than people think, especially since Steve's in full coronation regalia right now. The material's stiff as a board at the best of times.
“You wouldn't understand, just give me the- ugh!” Steve's stopped trying to grab the glove, instead trying to restrain her and make it easier to grab.
“Maybe I would understand if you'd talk to me instead of shutting me out all the time-” Steve's almost got her in a headlock, but Robin ducks out from underneath it and quickly steps away and out of Steve's reach.
“Robin, that's enough!” Steve shouts, and then several things happen consecutively.
Steve reaches out towards Robin with his right hand, the one missing the glove.
Robin thinks she's going crazy, but- what look like snowflakes shoot out from Steve's hand where he's reached for her.
The crowd, most of whom had turned to look at Steve's shout, gasp, almost in unison.
“I- Steve-” Robin says, not quite sure where to start with the -- actually quite sizable -- pile of snow now on the ballroom floor.
“No,” Steve gasps, and Robin's never heard her brother so distraught. It makes something keen inside her, the sheer anguish in his voice. “No, no no no, this can't be happening, this can't-” Steve reaches up to pull at this hair, but more snow and ice shoots out from his hand as soon as it's pointing towards the ceiling. He flinches away from his own hand, sheer terror on his face, but with every movement Steve makes more and more snow and ice surrounds him. Within a few seconds, there's a wind picking up as well, and it's like a snowstorm is starting to form right there in the castle dining room.
The crowd, originally shocked into silence, starts to move again. Robin hears screaming, people running, shouting from the guards about an evacuation plan, but it's all faint and distorted like she's underwater. All she can focus on right now is Steve, the way his terror is only worsening by the moment.
“Steve, let me help you,” Robin calls over the roar of the crowd and the storm, taking a few steps towards him. She needs to get his attention before getting closer, the last thing she wants to do right now is startle him.
“Stay away from me!” Steve yells, holding up his hands in an instinctive 'stay back' gesture. Yet more ice shoots out towards Robin as he does so. “I’m not safe!”
“I don't care! You're my brother!” Robin shouts back, but Steve doesn't seem to hear her. He's looking down at his hands in horror, then at the waist-high line of ice between the two of them.
Robin somehow knows what he's going to do the moment before he does it.
“Steve!” Robin screams, breaking into a run. Steve's faster than her, always has been, so he makes it to the doors of the ballroom well before she can catch him. It also helps that people, even the guards posted at the doors, part to make room for him whenever he draws near. Seeing Steve push open the ballroom doors just enough to slip through them, Robin yells again, “Steve! Stop!”
“Princess Robin!” Someone crashes into Robin then, nearly sending the two of them flying. (Robin mentally thanks whatever God there may be that she wore pants and not a dress.) After regaining her footing, Robin looks at her assailant to find- oh, it's that guy. The Duke of one of their main trading partners, Tommy something. Haggard? Halfwit? Yeah, something like that.
“Princess Robin,” Tommy Hapless says, bending over with one hand on his knees and the other holding Robin's elbow as he catches his breath. God, Robin does not have time for this. “Princess, you can't- we need guidance. We need someone to... to lead us while the King is... indisposed.”
“I really don't have time for this,” Robin snaps, brushing his hand off her elbow. “Steve's my brother, I have to find him before he gets hurt!”
“I don't think... he's the one who'll be getting hurt,” Tommy Hanger-On says between gasps, quietly, but not so quiet Robin doesn't hear. She makes a point to stomp on his toes as she stalks off towards Eddie, who is doing his best to help people follow the evacuation advice. He looks faintly queasy, and very much like he would rather be literally anywhere else, but he's actually doing a pretty good job of guiding people where the guards want them.
Eddie doesn't notice her coming, so he jumps when Robin grabs him by the shoulder. She turns him around to face her, then grabs him by the other shoulder as well so she's looking him right in the eyes.
“I need to find Steve,” Robin says, not waiting for Eddie to finish whatever question he's opened his mouth to ask before continuing, “Can you take care of the kingdom until we get back?”
Eddie goes pale instantly. “What? I can't-”
“You're a prince, right? I know Forest-Upon-Hills is a pretty small kingdom, but how different can Hawkins really be?” Eddie doesn't look reassured, but Robin cares very little about that right now. She claps him on both shoulders in what she hopes is an encouraging gesture.
She grabs Eddie's hand and thrusts it up into the air, shouting, “Prince Eddie is in charge until I return!”
She then drops his hand before turning and running out into the night, ignoring the chaos behind her and the faint sounds of Eddie's confused protests.
Nothing matters to her now except for finding Steve.
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skoulsons · 10 months
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“Ellie?”
She had kept herself closed off most of the day, doing as much as skipping meals, not sketching, and declining their routine movie night.
Joel turned the knob, opening the door only slightly. “Ellie?”
“What?” She bit. She was around the corner, still in bed.
He bit his cheek. “Can I come in?”
She sniffled, a mumbled yeah from around the corner to let him know it was okay. He entered, keeping the door somewhat open behind him. He found her on her back, covers pulled up to her shoulders as she stared at the ceiling, counting imaginary stars.
The look on her face was a sure sign, as any, that things were not good.
He sat by her feet, the corner of the mattress sinking down as he sat, her feet following suit and lightly falling against his lower back.
“Do you need something?”
Joel inhaled and exhaled. He kept his hands awkwardly in his lap. “I wanted to check up on you.”
“Why? I’m fine,” she grumbled, eyes still glued to the ceiling.
“You sure?”
She wasn’t. She knew she wasn’t fine. Every possible thought about Joel, Tommy, Maria, Riley, Sam, or Henry that wasn’t positive made its way to the forefront of her brain, twisting everything she knew about them. Making her believe things that she was sure weren’t true. Convincing her of truths that were hard to shake.
Everything is still so new to them. Young and needing navigation and direction. Their relationship and being together now, no plan in sight of leaving or disregarding the other.
She has someone in her life now who cares about her. Who has cared about her for over a year. Someone who dedicates every single day to being present. Who always makes breakfast for the two of them. Someone who holds her when she cries and who lifts her up even higher when she’s happy. Who carries her to bed when she needs it and finds her new comics when he’s outside the walls. Who protects her at every moment and encourages her to eat and shower when she struggles.
Someone who loves her.
And that revelation is what makes these days even harder.
“Hey…” he nudged, turning his body slightly more towards her. “What’s goin’ on, baby?”
Ellie sighed, closing her eyes tightly, waves of colors forming in the black of her vision the harder she squeezed. She opened them, her eyesight wavering as tears pooled at her eyelids. The imaginary stars on the ceiling kept her gaze, still avoiding Joel’s concern.
“Today just… hasn’t been good.”
And while he knew it, hearing it from her still hurts to know. Whatever happened, it hurts to know she’s struggling.
“I think it’s been little worse than hasn’t been good.” It felt inappropriate to point out her near crying and the tight-lipped expression on her face in an attempt to keep her emotions at bay.
“I’m just… having fucked up thoughts,” she sighed, tracing all the constellations she knew into the white of the ceiling.
Joel didn’t say anything. In all honesty, he didn’t know what to say.
Neither of them were the best at talking. Sharing something that pissed them off, frustrated them, or upset them and navigating that conversation in a healthy manner always felt like forcefully pulling teeth before they ever broke the surface of the gums.
Joel hopes his silence is an invitation for her to continue. He wants to help, to walk through what bothering her with her.
“I…,” she started, choking slightly on the syllable. “I feel like people don’t care. They don’t care, they don’t…love.”
Joel tilted his head to the side, eyeing her avoidant gaze.
Ellie brought her hand up and wiped it across her right temple. Her voice wavered, her lip quivering as she spoke, “me.”
Joel had an inclination, but hearing it still hurt all the same.
“I feel like people…” she paused, sniffled heavily. She lazily raised her arm off the bed in his direction, “you… don’t.”
Frustrated, Ellie sat up, her back making content with the headboard harder than she intended. She locked eyes with him momentarily before avoiding his gaze again, fixing hers around the room. Her dresser, a heap of clothes on the floor, her blinds, and the open door.
She stopped keeping her head upright and let the crown of her head fall back, banging against the headboard. She sighed, a wet, embarrassing laugh escaping her. “I… I know. I know you do. I do. But sometimes, I just… get convinced you don’t.”
She fiddles with her hands in her lap as her tears threaten to spill over, Ellie massaging her fingers and cracking her knuckles, even with nothing left to crack. She picks at her cuticles and nails uncomfortably, clearing her throat to get rid of the tight burning that has coated it.
“What convinces you?” Joel asked, his eyes looking twenty years younger—like he’s talking to someone else entirely. Like he’s held a similar conversation before.
His question stumps her.
And she realizes it’s nothing. Nothing has ever convinced her. Nothing could convince her that Joel doesn’t care about her. Nothing could ever truly convince her that Joel doesn’t love her.
He may get frustrated over something. He may be extra tired some days. He may spend a little more strength some days fighting his own demons that it’s hard to be there 100% for her.
But those things don’t mean he doesn’t love her. They don’t mean he wouldn’t lay down his life for her at any given moment. They don’t mean he doesn’t look at her with anything less than adoration, devotion, and appreciation for who she is. Who she is and what she has come to mean to him.
“Have I ever done anything-“
She cut him off. “No. No, no. Fuck no, never.” She threw the crown of her against the headboard again, a few tears spilling down the side of her face and flowing along her jawline. She hastily wiped them away, clearing her throat.
“I don’t know. I don’t know. I guess I… don’t think I deserve it or something. So I look at you or Tommy or I… I remember Riley or Sam or anyone else and I… I think they don’t—didn’t care.”
She knows they do. Riley—she knows. Sam she knows. Henry, too. Tommy and Maria—she knows. Joel—he she knows better than any of the others.
“I remember them or I…” she brought her head down from her gaze on the ceiling and looked at him, clearly, for the first time. “I look at you and I wonder why.”
She cries. Her lips pressed together, not enough breath in her lungs to combat the tears falling down her face and slipping down her neck, soaking the collar of her shirt. She wipes and wipes and wipes until her tear-soaked hands can’t catch anymore and they flow freely. She dries her hands on her sheets and it’s still not enough to catch every single one.
Joel moves quickly, his right hand lightly on her shin as he reaches his left out towards her, keeping it held right above her lap for her to feel.
She can barely see, and yet she reaches out, knowing he’s there. Trusting he’s there.
She grabs his left hand with her right, holding it until her knuckles turn white and it hurts. Until it stings and her fingers go numb. Until her hand shakes and the blood flow is cut off from her fingertips.
He moves his right hand from her shin to press a fist into the mattress on the other side of her, scooting himself closer to her. He settles closer to her, bringing his right hand up her shoulder and eventually finding its home on her cheek. He strokes his thumb across it, more tears falling as she leans into it. She turns her head into it, her lips in his palm as he continues wiping her tears.
He pulls his hand back from her face and brings it to her other cheek, sliding his knuckles across to clear the streaks of tears. He returns his hand back to her other cheek, lightly scratching at the roots of her hair on the back of her neck.
Ellie grabs the collar of her shirt with her left hand, wiping the snot from her nose and using any drier part of her shirt to dry her neck and chin.
Joel lifts his left hand to bring up to her face, but a mumbled, snotty no keeps it in her lap, Ellie still clutching it.
She continues to sniffle, finally opening her eyes to see Joel looking back at her, a streak down the left side of his face, right by his ear.
“I’m sorry,” she says, quickly averting her gaze from his.
He smiles slightly, rubbing those all-comforting circles with his thumb over hand. He brings his hand up from her cheek as she closes her eyes, using two fingers to drag hairs down her forehead and tuck them behind her ear.
They didn’t need to be tucked away—but the affection always comforts her.
She takes his right hand in her left, bringing it down into her lap next to their other hands. She watches their hands intently as she rubs circles on his with her right hand and he rubs circles on hers with his right.
“Hey,” he whispers, trying to get her attention. It does, and she looks up at him. The tug on the corner of his lips reaches his eyes. “You don’t have to apologize.”
“No it’s… it’s stupid. I shouldn’t be crying over something I know isn’t true…”
“You know it’s not true?”
She inhales a shaky breath and exhales one just as heavy. She focuses on it, keeping any other tears down as best she can through controlled breathing.
“Yeah. Yeah I… I know.” She pauses for another breath. “But sometimes it’s… fucking difficult. I don’t…” she hesitates, shaking slightly, “I don’t want to look at you and wonder why.”
She chokes, wiping her cheek on the shoulder of her shirt. She feels her back against the headboard and adjusts slightly, rolling her shoulder blades over it.
She looks up at him. His eyes still hold that twenty-year-old look. They glisten because of the tears gathered in them, and the loving smile that hasn’t quite reached his lips has already hit his eyes.
“I’ll remind you. Every day, if I have to—if you want me to. Even if you don’t, I might jus’ have to-“
She laughs—giggles—at that. He laughs too, the kind of laugh that resides deep in his chest. The one that sounds better through his rare toothy smile. The laugh she only hears so often. The laugh when he thinks he’s done something right. The almost triumphant laugh when he seems to have cheered her up.
Ellie smiles, watching his own unwavering smile. “You can, if you think about it. I mean, I won’t expect it every day. If you forget some days, it’s fine. I’m not-”
“Ellie.”
“Sorry.”
Joel takes note of her. The dried tears along her cheeks. Her red and puffy eyes. The way her nose is red. The soaked collar of her shirt.
He doesn’t want to see her like this again. Not over thoughts like this.
“Will reminding you help? You know… keep thoughts like this away?”
She opens her mouth to speak, but it hits her that she doesn’t know. She’s never been positively reminded, certainly not daily, that someone cares for and loves her. No one’s been constant enough to tell her the truths she missed out on as a child. No one’s stuck around long enough for them to mean anything. No one has ever loved her enough to say them and mean them. Nothing other than doubt, hesitation, or reluctance has followed such reminders.
“I don’t know. I think, I… I hope. I don’t know, I’ve… never had someone who did something like that.”
He doesn’t frown at the thought, but his smile fades. Sadness, disbelief at the thought, the truth that she’d never had this before. “Well… we can try it out. You can tell me if you hate it ‘n we can try something’ else.” He smiled again as he rubbed more circles along her hands. “Sound fair?”
She smiles, tears welling at her eyes again. One spills over, Ellie fervently nodding in response to Joel’s question before too many more tears follow.
He lets go of her left hand and opens his arm up, welcoming her in. She scoots into him, tucking her body against him. She lets her legs freely fall into his as she leans against his body, his right arm coming across her back and holding her shoulder tightly. She keeps her face hidden away as best she can in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Her right hand finds the bottom of his shirt, rubbing the fabric back and forth between her fingers.
Joel kisses her head, leaving his lips pressed into her hair briefly. “I just… I don’t want this to become something you know is true. Cause it ain’t.”
“It won’t. I… I know it’s not true.”
He kisses her head again, a muffled good reverberating through her. He rubs her upper arm a few times.
“Come here,” he says, letting go of her shoulder and standing up.
She smiles shyly, standing up and wasting no time to hold on to him, her arms wrapping around his middle and settling behind his back. She rests her ear right over his heart, the thump-thump drowning the world out. Drowning her thoughts. Her feet stand in between his, Ellie attempting to get as close to him as she can.
Joel, just like every time before and every time to come after, keeps a steady hand across her back and one behind her head, carefully threading his fingers through her hair. He tilts his head down, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.
He sways them gently, covering her back in hand-drawn lines, circles, and a myriad of other shapes. “This is your first reminder.”
She giggles at that.
Something bubbles in her chest. A fire. Butterflies—as cheesy as she thinks that is—it fits. It tickles, in a way. It reaches her finger tips and warms her skin. It helps her breathe easier and keeps her heartbeat beat in rhythm with his. It slows her thoughts and relaxes her shoulder. It lets her relax completely against his embrace.
The reminder is there. The reminder of his care and protection, no matter what. The reminder of the steadfast, uncompromising, sacrificial love that he has for her.
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pepprs · 8 months
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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do
#purrs#i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life#situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to#drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a#stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i#am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone#and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later#that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd#this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be#neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority#and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3#well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will#never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester#starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like#this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it#would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or#anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol#well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3
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simptasia · 1 year
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Ten years ago today I decided to watch abc’s LOST. I did this because I had/have a crush on Dominic Monaghan, and when one is yearning for content for an actor, three seasons as a main character is a jackpot. I honestly didn’t expect this show to be good, because I’d barely heard of LOST. But I wanted to at least try it out. I remember cautiously saying to my mum: “We’ll watch an episode and if we don’t like it, I’ll put on something else.”
Five minutes later we were hooked
A month and a half later, we had watched all six seasons
When the finale ended, my mum hugged me and thanked me
So yeah, LOST is pretty good. Comedic understatement aside, I personally think LOST is a masterpiece of television. (Though flawed enough for me and my friends to still be jabbing at it to this day. With love. Nothing is perfect)
In the decade since I first watched this show, not only has it given me hours of joy and tears, it’s also given me at least a dozen more celeb crushes (came in with one, left with 20 more...), for real I’m so glad I know who a bunch of these actors are. Michael Emerson and Jeremy Davies deserve honourable mentions but also [gestures at most of the cast]. Incredibly talented people
This show has inspired me to create a truly staggering amount of hilarious content, for which I refused to let the Text Post Meme die. Seeing people enjoy my memes, my art pieces, my videos, my headcanons/theories... all of this gives me a great deal of joy, so I thank you all, I love seeing y’all in the tags
And finally, this show has led me to making a lot of friends and well wishers. I’ve found a place in this cozy little corner of the LOST fandom and I love it
There aren’t enough words for how much this show means to me, which is a helluva thing for me to say about something that isn’t Star Trek
I’m so grateful that on the afternoon of April 11th 2013, I decided to pick up LOST season one from our local blockbuster. It’s been a good ten years
Thank you for your time
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i feel like life right now is me trying to juggle approximately 127 different things, and none of them are life-or-death but they’re all equally important to me, so those 127 things are like simultaneous balls in the air that i am holding up while the adderall shortage makes it harder to remember what they are let alone keep from dropping them, and at this point even my to-do lists have lists which got so out of control that i stopped even keeping lists but also i’m so tired every day that i’m lucky if i get a single thing done and if i don’t set alarms then i depression-sleep for fourteen hours because oh yeah my adderall was also the only thing that helped my bipolar meds work all the way so i’m crying and thinking about everything that makes me sad 24/7 while i try to keep juggling
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silhouettecrow · 8 months
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 259
Adjective: Perpetual
Noun: Eternity
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Perpetual: never ending or changing; denoting a position, job, or trophy held for life rather than a limited period, or the person holding it; (of an investment) having no fixed maturity date, or irredeemable; occurring repeatedly; so frequent as to seem endless and uninterrupted; (of a plant) blooming or fruiting several times in one season
Eternity: infinite or unending time; a state to which time has no application, or timelessness; (theology) endless life after death; used euphemistically to refer to death; (informal) a period of time that seems very long, especially on account of being tedious or annoying
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wilwheaton · 3 months
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In a long essay about the televised incident, Wheaton makes a lot of salient, emotionally vulnerable points about his reaction to David’s stunt, tying it in to memories of parental abuse he suffered as a kid—pointing out, among other things, that, within the agreed-upon fiction that we all adhere to pretty fervently around all things Muppet or Muppet-related, Elmo is a child. Writing, Wheaton notes that “Elmo is an avatar for children all over the world. Children who are too small to understand Elmo is a puppet will know that a man attacked someone they love for no reason, and that will frighten and confuse them.”
Wil Wheaton condemns Larry David for his Elmo-based violence
This story is a week old, and has blown up today. The right wing smoothbrains are out in force, doing their usual thing, until they get distracted by the existence of a successful woman somewhere in the world and have to go rage against that.
I don’t know why this is happening today. I don’t know why right wing clout chasing incels have decided to make this their Thing today. It’s all very confusing, especially a week after the fact.
But I want to put something here that I added to my post on Facebook, that those dudes (it’s always dudes whose entire personality is “MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS!”) need to hear but won’t understand:
A lot of us who had the same visceral reaction to a grown man putting his hands on a child (Elmo is 4 years old) in anger, without consent, and then laughing about it all share an experience that you should be grateful you don't share with us. And when you say your shitty little toxic and cruel thing, when you reduce the whole thing to a puppet and a joke, you're doing to us what the adults around us did when we were kids. And it hurts all over again. Are you really someone who wants to hurt another person simply because you can? Maybe take the impulse to be a jerk and redirect it into being grateful you have no idea why this is so upsetting to so many of us.
Larry David put his hands on another performer, without consent, in a segment he was not part of. That, alone, is not okay. It is not EVER okay. The fact that so many people don’t get that, or are deliberately choosing NOT to get that, is telling.
But as I said, Elmo is a child, and he is a friend to children, so all the kids whose parents were watching the Today Show with them, because Elmo was on to talk about sharing big feelings and caring for your mental health, got to watch this man storm into a set, and angrily attack Elmo.
That’s indefensible behavior, and calling me names doesn’t change that.
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ishizizzle · 1 year
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My 19-yo manager got upset off someone else's energy and talked to me stupid. I cared for hours longer than I should but thankfully, I'm growing apathetic to the whole person
#it me#i really been journaling these thoughts out lately. I'll write it down and#watch my complaints get smaller and smaller because i already wrote i was mad about this or that#so the only logical step I can is forward but I'm mentally ill so logic is built like a crazy straw and I'm wearing stilettos#but i get the shit out and get it smaller and smaller until i can summarize it and get to the root issue. its nice. it saves a lot of words#i know I'm in the right but there's nothing wrong with humility. her being 19 wouldn't even matter if she didn't act so immature#but that's whoevers fault that is for hiring her in that position cuz i clocked her and the scene the moment it happened#i even tried having a conversation about because SHE was talking about it like it was something to talk about#and i told her it didn't seem fair to her to have a future in wherever she's supposed to be going and be stuck in#a position you don't have the skillset for like i said it normal but that was the point of my end of the discussion#and all she could say is how is it unfair if its something i choose and i shut up because fuck off I'm not explaining that to you#not only would she not care or understand the answer but I'm not her mama her friend or her sis that's not my business#they pay her more to tell other niggas what to do.to go up there and cheat on the bf she stay on the phone with. she doesnt clean#I'm like what does she do other than show up and make sandwiches that's the only reason they were impressed. she asked and they said yes#before either knew if the other understood what they were signing up for and now she's cracked#she was alreasy cracked but its like chill out damn this why ppl dont like teenagers bro#leave all that bullshit at home can you come to work to work please idgaf if you want work friends#lame ass kids in this emotionally mature positions dude it makes no fucking sense#if they were adult enough to handle it fine but these are clearly kids and who cares but like#can someone else babysit i already babysat in jr. high and them parents paid way more for less of my time please dont push me#all that to say i feel myself tired of thinking about it. I'm bored of it. its not even noteworthy cuz it wasn't even a beef#she only got mad bc her pick me signals went off and she always acts the same as the guys but like#when they get mad she is suddenly mad to you know? and its embarrassing#i guess second hand? like am i embarrassed for you or myself for making you think we were on the same level
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lustspren · 17 days
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P.S.T EP. 13 | Vultures ft Karina, Giselle.
length: 16k words ✦
Karina, Giselle & Male Reader
genres: footjob, titjob, anal, anal creampie, thighjob, ass eating, pussy eating, facial, hard sex, blowjob, friends competition (?, kinda daddy kink (?
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The nights you spent with Jimin still had their aftereffects on you. The morning after your date with ITZY you woke up with complete certainty that she was going to be by your side, but what you found was a completely empty side of the bed. It's not like it affected you emotionally, but it was a strange feeling.
The first thing you did when you woke up was pick up your phone and write to the ITZY girls. You told them that you had a lot of fun and that you appreciated the surprise, but that you were excited to actually catch up with them. You did not receive a response at that time. In Korea it was around 10 at night, so they were probably watching a movie or taking baths. Be that as it may, you sat up and rubbed your eyes, staring at the desk chair in front of you, mentally preparing yourself for the start of the day.
After gathering enough willpower, you reluctantly got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom. You took a quick shower, five minutes more than enough to freshen up. You got out of the shower and brushed your teeth. Once cleaned, you dressed without any rush: you put on a black and gold Fred Perry sweater that Ryujin had given you, some khaki shorts, and the only pair of shoes you hadn't worn until now: black strappy leather sandals. wide, fastened to the ankle by a buckle.
Being ready, you didn't bother putting on perfume. Was not necessary to. You just combed your hair so you didn't look like a bum and grabbed your things before leaving your room. You headed to Jimin's room, where she and the rest of the girls were sleeping. When you arrived at the corresponding floor, you found a pleasant surprise at the end of the hallway: Jihye was already approaching the door to open it, but stopped when she saw you walking towards her.
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The smile that formed on her face was certainly something new for you, but it was priceless. She was so pretty that she dazzled you, and the tracksuit jacket rolled up made her look even more attractive. But it didn't end there: she also ran towards you with small steps to hug you around your waist. You hugged her, surrounding her head.
"Good morning! How did you sleep, honey?"
She looked up at you. You looked down, meeting that pair of pretty, round eyes.
“Good morning, boss,” you smiled back. "Oh, pretty good, actually. What about you?"
She looked at a point in nothingness as she thought about it.
"Not really good. I felt kind of weird, I don't know."
She let go of you and you let go of her, but you maintained the closeness between the two of you.
"Mmm, that sucks. I felt that way too a few days ago."
"And you fixed it?"
"I mean, yeah. I think it was just because I had a lot of thoughts flying around in my head."
Jihye nodded, perhaps realizing that this was the case for her as well.
"Well, I just hope it doesn't happen again tonight. I'm the last one who can afford to sleep badly," she sighed.
“I can keep you company if you want,” you laughed.
You had said it as a friendly joke, but Jihye tilted her head as if thinking about it.
"Would you do that?"
You frowned and leaned your ear closer to confirm if you had heard correctly.
"Huh?"
"Huh?" she repeated with a couple of quick blinks. "Uh… nothing, listen, it's best if you don't give the girls any details about last night. And definitely don't bring up the hook up thing."
You looked at her with half-lidded eyes, still turning over in your head what you thought you heard just a few seconds ago. Since she had already changed the subject, you had no choice but to let it go.
"Don't worry, everything stays between you and me," you nodded, trying to reassure her.
"Very well, thank you. Come on, let's take a look in the lion's den," she gestured toward the door.
You let her take the lead. Jihye opened the door and you both found the room dark. The only light that came in was filtered through the closed curtains, which was barely enough to see the girls. The four of them were curled up next to each other in bed, peacefully asleep like four little angels.
"Fuck, I wouldn't want to have to wake them up," Jihye whispered. "Look at them."
Taking advantage of your moment of distraction while watching the girls, Jihye pricked the back of your hand with her nails. Inevitably, you let out a grunt of complaint and stepped away with a stomp hard enough to make the girls shift on the bed.
You frowned at Jihye, rubbing the back of your hand. The girls in front of you opened their eyes to look at you, each one more upset than the other.
"Wasn't there a more subtle way to do that?" you asked in annoyance.
"Don't be whiny, it was just a little prick," Jihye replied. "Besides, it worked."
Jimin was the first to sit up, leaning on her elbows. She watched you rub your hand with a frown and then looked from her to Jihye.
"What have you done to him?" she asked.
"You wouldn't want her to have woken you up the traditional way, would you?"
Jimin sighed and shook her head, sitting up on the bed. Aeri followed her, but Minjeong and Ning remained lying down as they watched you.
"No, that's perfect. Thank you."
"Okay, now that you're awake..."
Jihye got up to turn on the light in the room, causing them all to squeal at the glare. You couldn't help but chuckle. Minjeong and Ning hid under the sheet for a few seconds before coming back into the light. Jihye didn't care in the slightest, she sat on the bottom edge of the bed to watch them. You walked over to the couch in front of the window and started looking at your phone.
"Do you have any particular plans for today?"
They looked at each other and shook their heads, then looked back at Jihye.
"Great, because I had some ideas for spending the day together, if that's okay."
They looked at each other again, but this time they nodded.
“Sure, sounds good,” nodded Jimin, who then looked at you, “Did she rip a piece of skin off your hand?”
You looked up from your phone to see her and Jihye.
"Almost."
“Crybaby,” she stuck her tongue out at you and looked at the girls. "Take your time getting ready, okay? We'll meet you in the lobby. Put on comfortable clothes."
"Don't tell me to take my time because then I'll go back to sleep," Minjeong said.
"You do that and you will stay alone in the hotel. Maximum one hour."
"But you just said..."
“I changed my mind,” Jihye stood up with an innocent smile and walked towards the door, but not before turning to look at you. "You come?"
"Sure."
You stood up and kissed all the girls on the forehead before leaving with Jihye. You two went to the hotel's coffee bar, sat down at one of the tables near the back and waited for the girls, who arrived surprisingly quickly. Everyone was already dressed and ready to start the day.
You had a quick and light breakfast, accompanied by lattes. After finishing eating, Jihye prepared to share with you the agenda that she had planned for the day: first you would go to the aquarium, then to the botanical gardens, go with you to buy souvenirs for the ITZY girls and, finally, go to a discreet bar where no one would recognize them, only if they were up for it.
"I'm excited to go to the botanical gardens," Jimin said with a little smile. "I saw some photos and it looks beautiful."
"The aquarium too!" Ning said, looking at Jimin. "I sent you some photos, did you look at them?" Jimin nodded excitedly.
"And I'll definitely need that drink if I'm going to spend the whole day with you," Aeri joked, as she drank the last of her coffee.
The general atmosphere was good, everyone was excited to go sightseeing. But unlike the others, Minjeong seemed confused. Soon she would bring some discomfort to the table.
"Why do we have to help him shop for ITZY?" She looked at Jihye. "I mean, I'm sure he'll need our help, but I don't know how that's our problem."
All her eyes were directed towards her, Jihye's in particular did not look at all happy with that comment. She leaned across the table towards her.
"Don't be ungrateful, Kim Minjeong. Hasn't he taken good care of you throughout this tour? I'm sure at this point he deserves a favor or two from you."
Jihye's tone was stern and threatening. Aeri couldn't help but laugh at Minjeong's puppy face as she was scolded.
"Noze's right, you're being a bitch, Minjeongie. I'm more than happy to help. Plus, it's the perfect opportunity for me to shop too."
Jimin also took Jihye's side. She looked at Minjeong with obvious annoyance on her face.
"You're going whether you like it or not, girl. He deserves it."
Ning also jumped to your defense.
"Yeah, be grateful!"
Minjeong sank into her seat, crossing her arms and frowning. You, meanwhile, felt like a child caught in the crossfire of the argument between divorcing parents. However, you appreciated the way everyone took that stance. You didn't think Minjeong said that with bad intentions. Deep down, you knew she was just as good a person as the other three, but she was without a doubt an expert at being a spoiled brat.
When you were all ready you got up from the table and got ready to leave. Jihye still had the man who brought them from the bar the night before, who was in charge of taking them to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. Before getting out of the car, Jihye recommended that everyone put on masks and caps to hide their identity. In your case it was not necessary, but you agreed so that they would not feel uncomfortable.
As soon as you entered the gardens, Jimin linked her arm with yours and pressed herself against you.
"You’re coming with me, champ. We have a date pending."
This is how the small groups were formed. Minjeong made sure to leave with Ning for fear of being left alone with Jihye, who was paired up with Aeri. At first the six of you walked together, but soon you went your separate ways as you all wanted to see different things.
You had an amazing time with Jimin. For most of the walk all you did was take pictures and laugh like a couple of nuts. You didn't talk about anything interesting or momentous at all, you just made very stupid and childish jokes. Anyone who saw you saw a couple of immature, but happy teenagers.
After about two hours, you all met again at the entrance to the gardens. You shared the things you had seen and the photos you had taken, and set off towards the aquarium. As soon as you arrived, Ning was the one who pulled you next to her.
"Hello there, baby. You have some time for me, don't you?" she asked, taking your hand.
Your fingers intertwined with hers. She snuggled against your arm as you walked inside. You rubbed the back of her hand with your thumb.
"I always have time for you, sweetheart."
You took off your cap for a second just to kiss her cheek. Then you went into the aquarium, or rather, you got lost, because it was so huge and with so many places to go that you ended up alone. You looked at all kinds of marine animals and attractions; Ning looked adorable every time you passed by a new place and had the chance to see some of her favorite animals. You took photographs of her in each spot, but your favorites were the ones you took of her with a beluga, the sea otters, and at the sea lion show.
You were having the most pleasant and romantic time with her. However, when you visited the sea predators attraction, you saw fit to bring up the topic of the previous night. The few people in the place and the dim lighting created an intimate atmosphere that seemed perfect for talking.
"Hey, uh... I'm sorry about what you found when you came into the room last night," you said, as you watched a hammerhead shark swim past a school of fish.
She turned to look at you.
"Huh? Don't worry about it, darling. I enjoyed it too," she nodded.
"I know you did, but I still feel sorry," you sighed.
"I already said it's okay, silly. Stop apologizing," she rubbed your arm up and down, "I just hope that one day you become as committed to us as you are to them, you guys have a really cool relationship."
Before you could respond, your phone vibrated in your pocket with several notifications. You took it out to see them. There were multiple messages from Chaery. She was asking you if you had enjoyed her performance last night. You responded quickly, but soon found yourself involved in an exchange of sweet messages. Once you were done, you put the phone away and looked at Ning embarrassedly.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, I got distracted."
Ning took a moment to respond. She looked at you and then at the sharks through the glass, balancing on her ankles. Finally, she looked down at the ground.
“Honey…” she murmured, then looked up like you did when you put the phone away. "What's the history between you and Chaeryeong? Are you dating?"
Your heart skipped a beat. You remained silent as you pursed your lips. You knew that question would come sooner or later, but you never prepared for it. You were afraid of what you might say, but you were more afraid of how she was going to react. You took a deep breath.
“It’s… complicated,” you breathed out. "We act like a couple, but you know... our respective jobs and the current situation prevent us from using terms like 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend'. But I'm obviously more attached to her than the rest of the girls."
She nodded slowly, avoiding your gaze. She looked down again and hesitated before asking the next question.
"Do you… do you think you have any time for me in your life when we get back?"
Ning always found a way to melt your heart, this was no exception. You wanted to take off her mask and kiss her, but since that would cause discomfort to the people around you, you limited yourself to surrounding her with your arms and cuddling her against your chest.
"I'll do my best to make it work, darling. We'll find a way together, I'm positive about it," you assured in her ear.
You snuggled her tightly in your arms. She hugged you back. Then you both stood in silence as you watched the school of fish swim peacefully around one of the deadliest predators in the ocean. Of course, they, small and defenseless, swam without any worries, oblivious to the danger that threatened them. You ignored the fact that you were the school of fish.
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After visiting the aquarium, the next goal was to find a good place to have lunch before shopping. You didn't have to go too far, as just a few blocks away there was a nice pizzeria that looked amazing. You walked in and Jihye stayed at the register to order while you settled at a table near the wall. Ning and Jimin sat on either side of you, while Minjeong and Aeri were on the other side of the table, with the seat reserved for Jihye.
"Alright, if we're going to do this we have to do it right," Jimin said next to you, "What kind of things do you think the ITZY girls would like?"
Not even three months in advance could have prepared you for that question. You had been thinking about it for weeks and never came to a conclusion, despite knowing each of them well. But that's how giving gifts was, it didn't matter if it was to your best friend, what to give them was always a stressful task.
"Uh... I mean..." you brought your hand to the back of your neck.
"He has no idea," Minjeong said, looking at her phone.
They all looked at you. You shrugged.
"Honey, you'll have to do better than just getting them generic clothes," Aeri said.
Ning nodded and turned to look at you.
"It has to be something unique, something meaningful that they can't get at home."
A very, very bad joke came to your mind. But you kept it to yourself so you wouldn't look like an idiot in front of Aeri. At that moment Jihye arrived with the bill in hand and sat next to Ning.
"Well, you could give them tour merchandise. You wouldn't even have to pay for it," she said.
You shook your head.
"Definitely not."
"Look, I know Yeji unnie very well. I can help you with her," Jimin said.
"I'll take Yuna," Minjeong said.
You couldn't help but let out a low laugh.
"Between spoiled brats you understand each other very well, that makes sense."
Minjeong just gave you the middle finger.
"Mmm, I'll help you with Chaery," Ning said from beside you.
You saw it more than perfect. But you were screwed since Lia and Ryujin were still missing. Luckily you had a Japanese guardian angel in front of you.
"Who's left, Julia and Ryujinie, right?" Aeri asked.
“Aha,” you nodded.
"Leave them to me."
"Fuck, thank you all," you sighed, "I'm really bad at this stuff."
"Yeah, it shows," Minjeong said.
You didn't have a witty response to that, she was just right. You had no choice but to stay silent.
"Don't be grateful," Jimin said, "It's nothing you wouldn't do for us."
She nudged you with her shoulder to encourage you, you just smiled weakly, staring into a salt shaker.
The two large pizzas arrived within minutes. Your stomachs had been growling for half an hour, so the slices disappeared in the blink of an eye. After finishing the meal, they took a short break to rest and headed towards their next destination. By then, it was already 4 in the afternoon.
Buying gifts was the most exhausting, stressful and tedious task of the entire day. You were grateful that you had five more heads with which to share the anguish, because if it had been up to you alone, you would have lost your mind with just the first gift. It didn't take long for Jimin to find something for Yeji, as did Ning with Chaery. Minjeong, despite seeming indifferent and rather annoyed at the idea of helping you, took a lot of time and effort to find something that she knew Yuna would love. You wanted to tease her, but you were afraid that if you made her angry, she would take a taxi and go back to the hotel. Yeji's gift was a pocket edition of Pride and Prejudice. Yuna's was Giorgio Armani's Sì perfume. And Chaery's was a beautiful handmade bracelet made with precious stones, mainly amethysts and rubies.
You, Aeri and Jihye dedicated yourself to finding things for Lia and Ryujin. It was the most complicated of all, but Aeri took the lead at all times and moved from here to there next to you, checking out clothing, accessories, and music stores. Finally, after hours of searching, they found the two perfect gifts: a vintage dress for Lia and a vinyl record of her favorite band for Ryujin. Aeri assured you that they would love them and damn, she was honestly completely right.
After having paid everything you met outside the shopping center.
"Hey, you're all up for the bar, aren't you?" Jihye asked.
"Fuck, of course I do. Let's go," Aeri said. The poor thing had grown gray thanks to her stress.
The driver took you to the bar that Jihye had previously mentioned, which turned out to be, no less, the same bar that you and her had gone to the night before. This time the same bartender from yesterday was not there. In her place was a young woman with tattoos and pink hair. The six of you settled at the bar quickly, ordering beers and cocktails. Jihye sat on your left and Ning sat on your right.
The music played at a moderate volume and the dim lighting created a cozy atmosphere. You laughed, talked, and enjoyed each other's company. It was the perfect way to end a long and intense day. Maybe the accumulated stress took too much of a toll on you, because the drinks started flowing and you all got drunk too quickly.
The hours flew by, and when you least expected it, it was already close to midnight. By then, you and the girls were already dumber than normal. It didn't affect you in a negative way, you were just more sleepy and immersed in your thoughts. Ning was much more affectionate and clingy towards you. Jimin, Aeri and Jihye sounded like a group of chatterboxes, talking non-stop and laughing out loud. Minjeong, for her part, just drank more and more, in complete silence.
"By the way, who will be next to have services from him?" Jimin asked.
You sighed, knowing the argument that was coming. You mentally prepared yourself. The entire debate was going to be solely between Jimin and Aeri, since Ning, being the lady that she was, stayed away from arguing about things like that. Jihye remained attentive, watching the development of the situation with interest, ready to intervene if necessary. And you were sure Minjeong didn't even know what was going on, absorbed in her own world, staring into her drink.
"I mean, I'm the leader," Jimin continued, "It would be fair if I had another round with him."
"Huh? What the fuck are you talking about girl?" Aeri jumped in, mixing Korean with English, "Do you know how long I have without fulfilling my needs? Hell nah, there's no way."
Sharp pangs drilled into your head. You rested your forehead on your hand, staring at the bar as you took a deep breath. Ning next to you gave you comforting kisses on your temple, oblivious to what was happening a few seats further to the left.
"And what about my turn?" Jihye asked, "When is it my turn?"
The discussion ended suddenly. All eyes, like a magnet, were directed towards her, including Minjeong's, who was observing her with a mixture of curiosity and surprise. A few long seconds of silence took over the place, while Jihye ignored the reason why everyone was looking at her in unison.
"What?" she asked.
"Hey but…" Minjeong murmured, "I was sure you'd already taken your turn on the night the three of us spent together."
"Kim Minjeong!" you said, "Oh my god..." you crossed your arms over the bar and hid your face in them.
Jihye didn't seem much less embarrassed than you. Her cheeks turned red and she couldn't say a word. It was evident that it had been a mistake to get into the argument, but the alcohol had undoubtedly prevented her from thinking about the consequences of her words. An awkward silence took over the air as she struggled to find the right words to break the tension.
"What happened that night?" Ning asked immediately.
Great, the straw that broke the camel's back.
"Yeah, what is Minjeongie talking about?" Jimin said.
Minjeongie, for her part, didn't seem aware of having asked an awkward question. In her mind, surely, it was a very normal and obvious question. She didn't notice the blush that stained Jihye's cheeks, who let out some silly babbling before formulating a response.
"I definitely need more alcohol to tell you that story, I'm sorry," she said.
“The three of us…” Minjeong started.
"Shhh!" Jihye shut her up immediately, "Shut your big mouth, Kim Minjeong, or I'll leave you without breakfast for the rest of the tour!"
"But why can't she say anything!" Aeri protested.
"Because it's something private and I decide so, Uchinaga."
Aeri rolled her eyes.
"Ugh, fine."
The night came to an end with unexpected suddenness. You, sincerely, were grateful, because the headache was tormenting you and you urgently needed to take a pill. Jihye called the driver one last time and, when he arrived, you all got into the car in an ostentatious manner, like a bunch of drunk clowns. You headed to the hotel.
The journey to the hotel seemed eternal, every minute became torture while the headache blurred your vision. Finally, the vehicle stopped in front of the majestic building. You went down on wobbly legs, eager to get to your rooms and rest. Neither was in a position to take care of the other, so the girls had to fend for themselves when exiting the elevator.
Once all the girls were out of the elevator you were left alone with Jihye, once again. Only then you did realize how drunk she really was.
Upon reaching your floor, she leaned against the open elevator doors to look you up and down. Her face reddened by alcohol and her big, somewhat glassy eyes formed a perhaps too sexy expression. An aura of sensuality surrounded her, making her beauty intensify even more.
"Would you like to keep me company, pretty boy?" she asked, "I'd rather not sleep alone tonight."
You stood there stunned, still leaning against the back wall of the elevator. You looked her up and down, focusing mostly on her pale, sexy bare legs. It was too tempting, the softness of her skin seemed to call to you, but you knew it was a barrier you shouldn't cross like that. A moral commitment prevented you from succumbing to temptation. It wasn't correct.
"Sorry, boss. I have to decline your offer this time, you're drunk," you said.
To your surprise, she took a stride towards you and grabbed you by the collar of your sweater to pull you towards her. Your faces and your bodies were perhaps too close to each other. That distance allowed you to smell her aroma, a mix between alcohol and hazelnut. You looked at her lips, full and slightly parted, and then at her eyes fixed on you.
"You know? There's honesty behind it... I would have made the same proposal to you sober," she murmured just inches from your lips, "But great, you still pass my tests."
She let go of you with a little push and turned around, turning right to head straight to her room. You almost stayed inside the elevator, you had to put your hand between the doors to make them open again and be able to get out. You watched her walk down the hallway for a few seconds, mesmerized by how attractive she was, before heading to your room.
Normally you would have taken a hot bath and performed a much more meticulous ritual before going to sleep. But at that point, the headache was unbearable. You just took off your sandals and shorts, and then looked in a small toiletry bag inside your suitcase for some pain pills. After swallowing one with a glass of cold water, you also took off your sweater, turned off the lights, turned on the air conditioning and got into the cozy bed. The only thing you could think about before falling asleep was the stupid, unstoppable and uncontrollable desire you had to kiss Noh Jihye.
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The next day was, finally, the day of the concert.
There really wasn't much time to interact with the girls. Jihye had sent you to the venue first to help with the sound arrangements. In fact, she had you working with the sound engineer all day, even during the concert, something you enjoyed as a little kid being able to be a part of something that big.
At the end of the concert, Jihye tells you and the girls that they would be flying to Washington DC that same night. Everyone complains, arguing that they are exhausted, but there is no other option, since the flight is already scheduled and the agenda cannot be modified.
The really stressful and exhausting part of the day came when you were heading to the airport. In the van, you received a message from someone you until now considered missing: Kim Sunwoo, your former coworker. Yesterday's headache came back instantly as you read the messages.
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You had a small moment of panic. Your heart began to pound and your breathing became rapid and unsteady, and you did your best to hide your emotional state from the girls. Despite the anxiety attack, you took the time to thank those two.
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As was proper, you immediately went with the news to Jihye, who didn't seem as worried as you were.
"Well... this is certainly a problem," she nodded, "But there's no use worrying about it right now, honey, let's discuss this on the plane."
Jihye took advantage of the fact that the girls weren't looking to give you a quick, light caress on your chin with her fingers. She then told you to rest a little while you arrived. You looked at her for a few seconds, but finally gave in and tried to relax in your seat.
The bustle of the airport was a distant hum in your ears. The girls began their usual round of complaints about how sore they were and how terrible it was to have to travel immediately after a show. Aeri made a joke at your expense, but you weren't on that existential plane. Your head was somewhere else, still on Sunwoo's messages. Seeing that you didn't react, Jimin immediately noticed that something was wrong with you.
"Hey, are you okay?" she asked, taking your wrist gently. 
You didn't want to worry her or the rest of the girls. You had no choice but to lie.
"Hm? Oh, nothing, I'm just tired and I zoomed out," you said with a weak reassuring smile.
You could see in Jimin's eyes that she knew you were lying. She knew you better than the rest of the girls. It was clear that she understood your behavior patterns, and one of them was not ‘zooming out’  when you were tired. However, not wanting to pressure you about it, she just let it go.
On the way to check-in, all the emotions attacked you like a pack of hungry wolves. A new anxiety attack left you breathless, and your mind became a battlefield of thoughts and possibilities. Panic took over you, and for a moment you seriously considered buying a ticket home. It was the most sensible thing to do, the most responsible thing to do, or so you thought. A vulture was hovering over you, and you didn't want to put the four girls you cared about at risk just because of you.
You were after all of them. Taking advantage of the girls' distraction, you slipped away and approached one of the receptionists, who was behind a counter. Just when you were about to ask for a ticket to Seoul, someone grabbed your forearm with all their might. You turned around, startled, and met Jihye's furious gaze.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she asked.
"Jihye, I can't be responsible for these girls getting into trouble because of me," you sputtered, breathing heavily, "I wouldn't forgive myself."
Jihye let go of your forearm and grabbed your hand a little too tightly.
"Honey, I respect that and appreciate it, but that would be a fucking stupid move," she took a step forward and spoke very close to you, "You are listed as part of the staff, you have an official role. If this reporter is already digging in this whole situation, the only thing you would achieve by mysteriously flying back in the middle of the tour is to raise more suspicions."
It was impossible to argue with that logic. Jihye was absolutely right. However you prepared to blurt out an stupid clumsy argument back, but before you could, she wrapped you in a warm, comforting hug. In that instant, all the emotions hammering in your head stopped.
"Calm down, please..." she said against your chest, "We're a team now. We'll find a way out of this, okay? But just don't make a stupid decision."
"I... you're right, I'm sorry."
She broke the hug and grabbed you by the forearms. Then, she did something that took you completely by surprise. She stood on tiptoe and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. An unexpected stupid tingle ran through your stomach, and your cheeks lit up with a blush you couldn't control.
"Besides, you can't leave without keeping your promise first, remember?" she raised an eyebrow with a little smile.
You couldn't help but laugh, trying to lower the color in your cheeks with a discreet flutter of your hands.
"I know, I know. I'm not going to break my promise, boss. And hey, thanks, really."
You took a deep breath, maybe your first in fifteen minutes. The surge of adrenaline began to dissipate, and your mind slowly became clearer. Finally, you could think with a cool head. You recognized, with a mixture of shame and relief, that you were about to do something very stupid.
"You'll thank me later," she winked at you, "But we have to get going, we're late for boarding."
She took your hand and led you to the line. You went straight to the jet, which when you arrived the girls were already inside, settled and ready for takeoff. Of course the first one worried about you was Jimin.
"What took you so long?" she asked.
"I had some cramps and had to go to the bathroom urgently," Jihye said. "He accompanied me so I wouldn't be alone."
Jimin nodded understandingly, too slowly to make you and Jihye believe that she had been satisfied with that answer.
"Sure," she simply said.
"Well, he and I have some logistical issues to discuss about DC," Jihye said as you walked through the cabin, "There were problems with some contractors who helped with the stage set up, sooooo it's best you leave us alone!"
Ning was already fast asleep, with her head resting on the plane window. Minjeong and Aeri were lost in their own worlds, with headphones in their ears and staring blankly at their screens. You weren't sure if they had really heard Jihye's words. Jimin, on the other hand, was visibly uneasy in her seat. She watched you suspiciously as you walked, with Jihye, towards the rear cabin.
Upon entering, Jihye settled into one of the seats on the left that faced you, in front of a table with rounded corners and chrome edges that made the fine wood stand out. You closed the cabin hatch behind you with a silent click and went to sit on a double seat on the right side, a small countertop to your right with a smooth surface.
“Alright, let me see,” Jihye said, asking for your phone to see the messages.
You took your phone out of your pocket and opened the chat with Sunwoo. Then, you handed it to Jihye, who took her time to read each message carefully. Finally, she returned it to you with a serious expression on her face.
"It has to be the bastard who took the photo of you and Ning, or at least someone who works for him," she said, taking her laptop out of her backpack to open it on the table.
You nodded, thoughtful. You placed the phone in your lap and clasped your hands under your chin, elbows resting on your thighs. Jihye began typing furiously, sending one email after another. You sighed hopefully, thinking that nothing bad could come from a woman so focused on her mission. You were in good hands, at least.
"What will we do?" you asked, feeling like you were asking Spider-Man for reassuring words.
Jihye didn't take her eyes off the screen, she just continued typing.
"The first thing to do is find out how much this guy knows," she said. "You know, what his intentions are and what the hell he wants. That way we can know if we should act by hook or by crook."
"You won't dissolve him in a pool of acid, will you?"
She looked away from the screen and looked at you like you were born stupid.
"What? Of course not, dumbass," she looked back at the laptop. "I mean we can create a smokescreen about it, or use our influence."
You sighed.
"Anything to keep the girls safe, to be honest."
At that precise moment, the cabin hatch burst open, breaking into the atmosphere of concentration. Looking up, both you and Jihye were met with Jimin's glare as she crossed her arms and took a firm stance as she entered.
"What do we have to be safe from, Noh Jihye?" she demanded to know, closing the hatch behind her, "Is this why you and him were so late?"
“Jimin…” you said.
"Is that why you were so strange when we arrived at the airport?" she interrupted you, perhaps raising her voice a little too much.
"Jiminie, you have to calm down, we..." Jihye started to say.
"I'm the damn leader of the group! If something is happening I fucking deserve to know about it!"
You and Jihye looked at each other for a moment.
"You're right, we're sorry," Jihye agreed, "But the situation isn't mine, I'm not the one to explain it."
Their gazes landed on you in an instant. You sat up in your seat, straightening your posture, and looked at Jimin with a bit of embarrassment. You took a short breath, gathering the courage to tell her everything. As you told your story, Jimin's face softened, going from initial fury to slight sadness. When you finished, she stood in front of you and wrapped you in a warm, comforting hug. Your face pressed against her abdomen, feeling the same warmth and security as in Jihye's embrace a few hours before.
"You... aren't mad at me?" you ventured.
Jimin grabbed your shoulders and pulled you away from her to look into your eyes.
"Mad? How can I be? Dude, I'm just worried about you."
She sat next to you and hugged you with both arms, her cheek resting on your shoulder.
"But don't hide anything from me again unless you want a real fight."
"We didn't want to worry you," Jihye said. "I'm sure you have more important things to think about."
"Nonsense," Jimin snapped. "This directly affects us all, it is my duty."
"As you wish, then," Jihye relented. "But it's time to make a plan."
"I promise to make sure the girls won't say anything that raises suspicion, not even around the staff."
"Don't you think that will make them suspicious?" you asked.
"They will believe it is to prevent something from happening. They will not know that something has already happened."
"Very well then," you nodded.
"I will talk to my connections at JYP so that they are aware of the situation and are prepared to handle it," Jihye said, finally closing the laptop. "I will also question the staff as discreetly as possible to see if anyone knows your true role."
"What if someone knows?"
"I'll make them keep their big mouths shut," she said as if it were obvious. "As I was saying, I will also contact a private detective to investigate this guy based on the number you got from him that night."
Jimin lifted her head from your shoulder and frowned.
"Night? What night?"
You sighed. Another thing that she didn't know and that you should directly explain to her. You took the trouble and patience to explain her story to her in great detail. As you did so you realized how much you really hated this guy and how much he deserved a beating from you. Jimin by that point she was just as upset as you.
"What a son of a bitch, god," she grumbled.
"Yeah, that's how sick some people are," Jihye said.
"Anyway. I'll let the ITZY girls know about it so they're aware," you said. "I will also try to contact the spa to see if they can provide me with security camera footage."
Jihye raised her eyebrows.
"Can they give you that?" she asked. "That would be a great help."
"Normally they don't give camera footage to anyone, but this is an exceptional occasion. They will understand."
"I will send you an email address, you can send the footage there if you receive it."
"For the detective?"
She looked at you again as if you were stupid from birth.
"Well, of course, what are you going to do with a 24-hour camera shoot?"
You thought about it for a moment, realizing that she was right. You relented with a shrug.
"Shouldn't you also contact your previous clients?" Jimin said.
"Yeah, right," you nodded. "The problem is that there aren't a few of them, damn it," you sighed.
"You should only inform the most famous one," Jihye said. "I don't even have to tell you who."
You nodded and crossed your arms. Your mind immediately went to Seulgi. You hadn't spoken to her for a few months, and you definitely didn't like the fact that you were resuming relations over that matter.
"Anyway," she continued, "Try to relax, it won't be too long until we get to D.C."
"Can I stay here with you?" Jimin asked.
"Sure," Jihye nodded. "It's not like I can get you out anyway. It's not my private cabin as much as I would love to."
Jimin kicked off her shoes in one swift movement and let them fall to the floor with a soft thud. Then, she raised her legs over yours and snuggled against your body. You put your arm around her. You both tried to close your eyes and relax, leaving Jihye engrossed in reading a book.
----------------------------------
Upon landing in Washington D.C all plans were put into motion, everything happening on the way to the Conrad, the next hotel where you would stay.
You contacted Seulgi with an admittedly uncomfortable call, but it fulfilled your objective. She hadn't asked many questions about it, as expected she asked you what the hell you were up to, but you were honest with her and explained it the best you could. She understood it, or at least she pretended to. In the end she told you that she would spread the word among the girls to be careful.
By the time you arrived at the hotel all your energy was drained. You had been able to sleep a little with Jimin, but it was one of those naps that only exhausted you more, as strange as it seemed.
"Don't even think about leaving the hotel," Jihye said when you were all gathered in the lobby. "The concert is tomorrow and I need you all to rest. So you are prohibited from going out."
"Yes, please behave," Jimin said from beside her. She looked at all the girls as if making them remember what she had talked to them about.
After checking in, everyone quickly dispersed to their respective rooms. Once again, your floor matched Jihye's. You met in the hallway, walking side by side in search of your doors. You stopped in front of yours.
"Honey, get some sleep, please," she said standing in front of you. "This is not the first time something like this has happened in the industry, there are solutions."
"I know..." you sighed. "It's just that, damn, I really care about these girls. Just thinking that they're at risk because of me makes me feel terrible."
Jihye placed her suitcase next to her and stepped forward to cup your face in her hands. Her soft touch made you melt between her fingers.
"For the love of God, stop saying this is your fault," she said. "It's not your fault that a scumbag sneaked in where he shouldn't have."
You tried to protest, but she tightened her grip on your face to keep you quiet.
"We'll get through it," she whispered, "I promise."
You were silent as you looked at her, once again, at her pretty lips. And you made a great effort to contain yourself, once again. She finally let go of you, gave you one last look and grabbed her suitcase to leave about 5 doors later. You sighed deeply and walked into your room.
Opening the door, you were greeted by a short, narrow wooden hallway that led to the main room. The floor was covered with a soft gray carpet and the walls were a pristine shade of white. To your left, a king size bed, too big for you, but you weren't going to refuse. On the right, a small nightstand and, in the corner, a curved sofa with a lamp behind it and a small round table in front. On the opposite side of the room, after the bathroom door, a long low counter that housed a television and a large mirror. The room was completed with a larger circular table with a single chair and a big window that overlooked the street.
After unpacking and setting up some of your things, you closed the window curtains to turn on the air conditioning. The heat of the day was stifling and a good power nap was what you craved most. You took off your shoes and sat on the right edge of the bed, letting out a contented sigh. At that moment, your phone vibrated. A message from Jimin.
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With a smile on your lips, you replied to Jimin's message. Then, you tossed the phone to the side of the bed and got up to turn off the light. The room was plunged into darkness, only illuminated by the faint glow of the city filtering through the windows. You went back to bed and got under the blanket, feeling the warmth and comfort of the mattress. Closing your eyes, you let fatigue overcome you and within a few minutes you fell into a deep sleep.
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You woke up around 9 pm. Much more than you had planned, but damn it was worth it. You felt like a new and renewed man; of course, ignoring the fact that you were facing one of the most stressful situations you have ever experienced in your entire life.
When you got out of bed, the first thing you did was stick to your promise and you wrote to Jimin again, letting her know that you had already woken up and asking what the plan was. Waiting for her response, you went directly to the bathroom and got into the shower.
Barely five minutes had passed since you had gotten under the shower when the knocking on the door started. You had no doubt who they were. They, the girls, were not going to give up so easily. You wouldn't give them the pleasure of interrupting you, but they couldn't wait for you to finish either. The blows intensified, and they pierced your ears very quickly.
Reluctantly you turned off the water and got out of the shower. You dried yourself quickly and wrapped the towel around your body to go open them. You looked through the fisheye, and after confirming that it was them, you opened the door.
Both girls were wearing simple outfits, similar to what they would wear to sleep. Jimin was wearing a white crop top—which ironically said 'Send Nudes'— that exposed her midriff and red sports shorts. Aeri, for her part, was wearing a black sweater and pink velvet sweatpants. They both wore Crocs. Their faces lit up when they looked at you, and above all, when they looked at you half naked. What you noticed was that they were somewhat blushing, which immediately led you to think that they must have been drinking a little.
"Oh, we're at a good time it seems," Jimin said. She and Aeri let out a giggle.
Without even inviting them, they snuck under your arm and invaded your room. As Aeri passed by, she grabbed the knot of your towel and pulled it hard, taking it off you in one motion. You hurried to close the door.
"That's better," she said, walking past you.
You followed them. When you crossed the hallway you saw Jimin already settled in your bed, lying on her side and leaning on her elbow. Aeri went to sit on the chair next to the table.
"May I know what's going on and why I'm naked?" you asked, "I didn't think this would be the plan."
"Gigi and I are back on the menu, cutie," Jimin said between tipsy giggles, "You could use some stress relief."
"Oh, and we have a debate that you could be the perfect judge of," Aeri added.
You sighed, picked up your towel from the floor and put it back on. Then you went to your suitcase.
"And what could that debate be?" you asked, putting on underwear and some sports shorts.
"Which is better?" They both said in unison, like a previously rehearsed routine.
"Tits?" Jimin said.
"Or ass," Aeri said.
"Well, this is going to be a long night..." you muttered to yourself, going to sit on the couch in the corner. "And how did that mystery arise, may I know?"
The two of them looked at each other, neither could find an answer.
"I figured it," you nodded.
"But answer!" Jimin demanded, “You have to have a preference, right?”
"Well I don't have it, Rina," you leaned back on the couch and crossed your arms, "I'll need you to present your cases to me."
Jimin giggled and looked at Aeri.
"I knew he would say that," she said.
"But before you start mouthing profanities," you reached over to grab your phone from the nightstand. "I'll order food. I haven't eaten all day and you could use some time to formulate your answers."
They nodded and began to write in the notes app on their phones. You focused on ordering the food: two chicken sandwiches, a large portion of fries, and a can of white monster—for some reason, it was one of the drink options. When your order arrived, you put on a t-shirt and went to pick it up at the door. Upon returning, you settled back on the couch and placed the bag on the small round table in front of you. The aroma of fried food made your stomach growl.
"Okay," you said, taking out everything in the bag and then putting it down. "Present your cases. I don't care who goes first."
You opened the wrapper of one of your sandwiches and without hesitation you took a big bite. You couldn't help but moan at how delicious it was. At that moment Aeri got up from the chair and stood a meter away from you. You gave her a few glances, but decided that only your ears would be paying attention to them, since your eyes were quite busy with her food.
"Obviously, I think ass is better than tits," she began. "A lot of our choreographies are focused on making our butts shine, in fact," she let out a giggle. "Also, as you well know, twerking has become a crucial part of pop culture. Is there anything similar with boobs? I don't think so."
You couldn't help but let out a hint of laughter while your mouth was full of fries, at the surreal way in which she spoke so seriously and with such conviction about something so banal.
"Stop, stop," you interrupted her before she moved onto her next point. "Since you're so confident with twerk, why don't you show off your skills to me and Jiminie?"
She smiled excitedly, and turned around to begin. You quickly swallowed the bite of the sandwich so you could speak.
"Oh, before you start," you interrupted her again. "I cannot formulate a good verdict without your points of defense being exposed to view. Clothes off."
Aeri giggled and looked over her shoulder at you. Jimin also stood up and stood next to her.
"You were already late asking for it," Aeri said.
She looked forward again and bent forward as she took off her sweatpants. She wasn't wearing underwear, which wasn't a surprise to you or Jimin. Her huge round ass was instantly exposed, and she stayed bent over for a few seconds so you could get a look at her pussy. She then straightened her back and proceeded to take off her sweater. You didn't see her tits at first, just her bare back.
By then you had already finished the first sandwich and you had half a can of monster. While you opened the second wrapper, Jimin seemed to forget that they were in a competition, because she played Ash-B's Booty on her phone. Perfect song for Aeri to shake her butt, ironically.
Aeri put on a really impressive show for the two of you. You should have expected such perfect and hypnotizing control of her buttocks, but she still managed to divert your attention from the food so that you focused solely on her. She danced every second of the song, from start to finish. With that you no longer needed to hear any more arguments.
She walked towards you and sat on your left thigh, turning her body to face you with a mischievous expression.
"Let's not forget when you told me how tasty my ass was after the night we spent together in San Francisco," she moved her ass from side to side over your leg. "Oh, and also how much you came inside it while you were sucking my toes."
She stood up from your thigh and finished her presentation with a simple, but quite effective, slap on her own buttock; making sure you noticed how the flesh of her ass and thighs responded with a jiggle.
Using memories and personal experiences was playing dirty. Maybe you should have clarified that before starting the 'debate', however it was too late. Aeri had already managed to make your cock hard under your boxers, but neither of them noticed since the table hid your crotch from her eyes.
"Alright, next," you turned your attention to your second sandwich. With that bite it was already halfway done. 
Aeri went to lie on her side on the bed facing you. Jimin took her place in front of you, and without you asking her she began to undress. You looked up, watching as she first took off her top, revealing the black bra she was wearing underneath, which also didn't take long to fall to the floor. With her heavy, lovely tits free, she moved to her lower garments, which she lowered to her ankles with a single quick tug. Now she was also completely naked.
"Hey, it's not fair," she said. "You are still dressed and we are naked."
"I'm eating, Rina," you defended yourself. "I am unable to eat while naked."
"That sounds like a terrible excuse," Aeri said to your right.
You looked at her and put your finger in front of your lips.
"Hush, young lady. Who is the judge here?"
Aeri rolled her eyes and you turned your attention to Jimin.
"Go ahead, Miss Yoo," you nodded, returning your attention to what was missing from your sandwich.
Jimin cleared her throat and took a step forward, so you could see up close her pale tits and her seemingly freshly shaved pussy.
"I'll start by saying that there is no man or woman who can be depressed while looking at a nice pair of tits," she said. "In addition, it has been proven that boobs are much more popular in Asia, Europe and Oceania than asses."
By the time she finished speaking you had already finished the last sandwich and had wiped your mouth with a napkin. You took a drink of your monster and prepared to challenge her, but just as you opened your mouth she pushed the table away from between you, straddled your lap and grabbed you by the neck to bury your face between her tits.
"Do you remember how my cute feet got you in the hot tub?" she said in a low voice, rubbing her tits back and forth against your face. "Then you fucked this pair of heavy tits and painted my face with cum... Surely that was better than fucking Gigi's ass while you sucked on her toes, right?"
She shook her tits again and again. With your face there in the middle you were sure that tits were a better option, but of course, your face had not been between Aeri's buttocks in the same way. What a difficult decision.
Jimin got off you, and standing in front of you finished her argument by giving her tits a good squeeze. Then she went to lie down on the bed, perpendicular to Aeri. You stayed silent, staring at the empty monster can. Your cock hurt because of how hard it was, those two had played very dirty.
You sighed.
"Very well... I'd love to give you a verdict," you said, standing up to walk in front of the bottom edge of the bed. "But aside from the fact that you cheated..." you took off your t-shirt and threw it next to the girls' clothes. "I will need practical arguments to be able to decide a winner."
Aeri, who bit her lower lip, and Jimin looked at each other with a knowing smile. Then they nodded and knelt up on the bed to get closer to you. The first to crash her lips against yours was Aeri, who didn't bother to hide her enthusiasm and the desire she had to taste you after so long. Jimin wasn't patient either; she leaned down to kiss your chest and collarbone, as she did so, she pulled your shorts down along with your boxers to free your throbbing cock.
Aeri added her tongue to the kiss and clung to your neck with both arms, making it clear that she was feral at that moment. You did the same, and now your tongues were involved in a fiery fight to take control. Your hands did not stay still; you lowered your left to meet Jimin's tits, which you squeezed and massaged; the right one went straight to Aeri's ass, squeezing her right buttock and reaching down to her pussy to rub your fingers between her folds.
Jimin brought her hand to your cock and rubbed it slowly, also going down to caress your balls. But soon you felt her lips on your shaft, giving it wet kisses until she took you inside her mouth. You couldn't help but let out a moan into Aeri's mouth. You broke away from the kiss to look down, finding Jimin on her hands and knees as she sucked your cock.
"Hey, it's not fair!" Aeri protested. "I was distracted!"
She got down on her hands and knees as well, letting Jimin pump her head over the middle of your shaft for a few more seconds before elbowing her away.
"Envious bitch!" Jimin protested as well, as Aeri took more of your cock into her mouth and pumped it faster. 
The next minute was about the two of them taking turns in hurried ways to suck your cock. You couldn't complain, they knew exactly what they were doing and their mouths felt incredible; besides, you had a most satisfying view: both incredible pale asses perfectly raised and a pair of smooth backs that you ran your hands over before squeezing one of their buttocks.
"Why don't you put those pretty feet to work?" you managed to say between gasps.
Aeri, who currently had your cock in her mouth, lifted her feet and moved them for you to see.
"Who do you want to go first?" She asked as she pulled you out of her, Jimin joining her in licking the back of your shaft.
“Jiminie,” you said without hesitation. "But I want to suck your feet."
"Fuck, too bad we didn't bring lube," Jimin said, before turning on the bed and lying on her back.
"It won't be necessary," Aeri replied with an arrogant smile, to acquire the same position as Jimin. "My pretty feet are going to melt him." 
Aeri placed one of her feet on your abdomen and rubbed it up and down. Jimin brought both of them to your cock. With one she played with your balls, and with the other she used her toes to rub your saliva-soaked tip.
"Yours?" Jimin said, rubbing the back of your shaft with the foot she had on your balls. "Ha! As if you had his favorite feet."
Aeri now brought her foot to your face, you gladly accepted it into your mouth, sucking each toe of hers hungrily while Jimin now used both feet on either side of your cock. She moved them slowly, just like she started that day in the bathtub. Then she picked up speed. You caressed the back of their thighs, and then went up to their pussies.
"There's a reason he wants to suck my feet first, right?" Aeri replied, caressing the side of your face with her toes while you sucked on the others, "He likes mine better."
Jimin took that as a challenge and set out to move her feet even better, faster and tightening her grip on you with her toes. You moaned with Aeri's foot in your mouth, and then moved on to the next one. With the fingers of each hand of yours you now rubbed her pussies, eliciting small moans from both of them.
"Do you hear that?" Jimin said after a gasp. "My pretty feet are driving him crazy."
"He moans because my feet taste delicious," Aeri gasped.
You pulled Aeri's feet out of your mouth and looked at them, tired of their chatter.
"Shut your mouths and switch places," you ordered.
Jimin giggled and looked at Aeri.
"He doesn't want to suck your feet anymore," she said, removing her feet from your cock.
"I said shut your mouths," you had to say again before Aeri replied, "I don't want to hear any more arguing between you two."
"As you order daddy," Aeri giggled, now bringing her feet to your cock.
"I will obey only because I want to win," Jimin said, doing the same only to your face.
Aeri put care and dedication into making sure her feet felt as good as Jimin's did, which you were now sucking and licking; you distributed wet kisses too, both on the backs of her feet and on her soles. Aeri meanwhile used her soles to wrap your cock between firm flesh and silky skin, rubbing it up and down non-stop.
You liked sucking Aeri's feet more, and you liked the way Jimin used her feet on your cock more. In that field it was a technical tie, but you weren't going to give anyone the pleasure of knowing that. You let your moans speak for you, as well as the way you were now touching both of their pussies. Soon you had two fingers inside each one. They both moaned in unison.
You were approaching your peak at an accelerated pace. You moved your fingers faster in and out of both of their pussies, making them moan faster and double their efforts. Aeri moved her feet hungrily, and Jimin pressed her toes into your mouth. Cumming thanks to Aeri's efforts would have been an ego boost for her and she would have taken it as a victory, which you didn't want. You were going to take the selfish, but fair route.
“Put your feet together, come on,” you growled, feeling the tingle in your lower abdomen. “I don't want any objections.”
Jimin obeyed immediately. Aeri did so reluctantly, but she left your cock after a few seconds. They put their feet together in front of your cock, intertwining their toes with each other as they watched your cock, biting their bottom lip. You brought your hand to your cock and rubbed it repeatedly against her toes, then masturbated quickly. The unload didn't take long to come out; jets of cum shot out one after another, these fell between their feet, leaving a thick cover of thick liquid on their toes.
“Why didn't you let me drain you?” Aeri protested.
“Because it's a tie, Uchinaga,” you said between gasps.
“Huh? “What do you mean by a tie!” Jimin also complained.
“If you don't like it, I don't care. Now, clean each other’s feet,” you ordered.
Even though the two of them were in a kind of competition, they did not hesitate to accept that proposal. The first to act was Aeri, who got on her knees and grabbed Jimin by her ankles to suck on her toes, cleaning every trace of semen from there between small moans.
“Fuck, what a delight,” she said.
Jimin pushed her so she fell back against the bed again. She did the same as Aeri, grabbing her ankles to clean her without missing a single drop. When they finished they both saw you, Jimin licking his lips. They were waiting for more orders from you. You just wanted to fuck them, and you certainly wouldn't make them wait after you'd been fingering them for a couple of minutes.
“Who wants to take my cock first?” you said, sitting up on your ankles.
Clearly the question was useless, they both instantly knelt in front of you.
"I!" they said in unison.
They looked at each other with frowns.
“Why do you want everything first!” Aeri screeched.
“Because I am the leader and I have the right!” Jimin replied.
“You fucked him for two nights in a row girl!”
You sighed and put your hands on your face, shaking your head. They were doing it again.
"So what! Would you simply be satiated by his cock?”
"No bu-"
Already tired of their argument, you decided to act following only your instincts. You wrapped Aeri's fleshy body in your arms and pulled forward with her. She let out a gasp and grabbed onto your shoulders as you fell on top of her. Before Jimin could protest, you extended an arm towards her and lifted a finger. She took the cue immediately, crossing her arms.
Aeri looked into your eyes and spread her legs wide open. The tip of your cock rubbed against her wet folds.
“You couldn't hold back the desire to finally be able to fuck my pussy, huh?” she said, switching to English.
“Don't make me change my mind, Uchinaga,” you warned, and before she could respond you kissed her.
She let out a small squeal of happiness against your lips when you did so, then wrapped her arms around your neck and deepened the kiss, giving your hair little tugs as her fingers tangled in it. You left one hand resting on her mattress next to her waist, and the other you took to her thigh to lift it up, press it against your side and squeeze it. She raised her hips impatiently; she made your cock rub again and again against her wet pussy, in the end you couldn't help but give in to her temptation and gave her what she wanted. You grabbed your cock with your left hand and guided it inside her.
Aeri widened her eyes and then grimaced in pleasure.
“Oh my fucking god!” she squealed, as your cock forced its way between her folds.
Jimin giggled, lying on her side to Aeri's left to look at her.
“It feels massive, doesn't it?” she said.
“It feels massive and fucking incredible,” Aeri agreed, closing her eyes and arching her back.
The entire length of your cock was buried inside her without much trouble, and fuck, how soft and hot Aeri's pussy felt was overwhelming. You let out a growl and attacked her neck with kisses. She held onto the back of your neck with one hand, and the other was on your lower back as you began to move your hips slowly. She let out long, sensual moans each time every inch of throbbing flesh filled her to the bottom, but the way she put pressure on your lower back told you to move faster.
“Fuck that pussy with everything you got baby. Mmmgh!” Aeri moaned into your ear. “It's all fucking yours, act like it!”
It wasn't an offer you received every day, you certainly weren't going to turn it down. Your hips pumped faster now, gradually transforming that into a frantic fucking that drove Aeri crazy. You kissed her jaw and chin, then met her lips again. After kissing her for a few long seconds you straightened your back to look at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her moans didn't let her formulate any more words. You took her legs and raised each one to your shoulders; then you leaned forward, so that her thighs were pressed against her torso and her knees were as close to her own face as possible.
“Wow, she's more flexible than she looks,” Jimin said next to her. She slowly touched her pussy, making circles on her clitoris.
Neither you nor Aeri answered her. You were focused on hammering into her warm, plump pussy, a bead of sweat dripping down your temple despite having the air conditioning on, while Aeri was focused on not screaming too loud from being thrust so fast and deep.
She clung to the back of your neck with both hands and dug her nails there, arching her back again between intense squeals.
“Fuck, don't stop! I'm gonna cum so fucking hard on that fucking juicy piece of meat!“
You stood up again and looked down at her. You rested your hands on her thighs and kept them pressed against her torso, moving your hips up and down to keep her pinned against the mattress. It didn't take long for your cock to make her explode. Her thighs tensed and her entire body was shaken by an energetic spasm. Her toes curled up too, and to keep with tradition, you sucked on them as she rode out her orgasm.
“Blessed Jesus, you really made her cum hard,” said Jimin, who was already letting out light moans.
Aeri looked at you with weak, but clearly satisfied eyes. Her chest rose and she fell with labored breaths.
“Yeah… waiting for that cock was totally worth it,” she mused. “But damn, I want more.”
“Well then it's your turn to wait, bitch,” Jimin replied, grabbing you by her shoulders and pulling you back, making you slide out of Aeri's pussy and fall on your back. Your head almost went over the bottom edge of the bed.
You let out a tired breath and looked at her with half-closed eyes.
“Fuck, you could be a little more subtle, couldn't you?” you said.
“Nah.”
Jimin mounted you nimbly, both slender thighs on either side of your hips. She didn't hesitate to raise hers, take your cock with one hand to stand it upright and impale herself on it. Her pussy was already a frequent acquaintance for your cock, which fit perfectly inside those tight, wet walls that fascinated you so much. She let out a moan as her ass rested against your pelvis.
“I'm never going to fucking get tired of that feeling,” she gasped, resting her hands on your chest.
“What a slut,” Aeri said behind Jimin.
Jimin closed her eyes and pursed her lips between moans, as she slowly moved up and down on your cock.
“I wasn't the one who left the bottom of my swimsuit in a hotel pool,” she said without further concern. Easy and effective response to which Aeri had no reply.
You weren't really paying attention to what they were saying, at this point it was useless to keep trying to get the two of them to shut their mouths once and for all and not argue, so you just focused on enjoying their bodies.
You brought your hands to Jimin's small, soft waist; You held your fingers there for a moment, then you went to her ass, squeezed it a couple of times and then gave her right buttock a spicy spank that made her scream. Not resisting the urge to kiss her, you surrounded her body with your arms and pulled her towards you. Her lips crashed against yours automatically, and her tits crushed against your chest.
Your lips battled against each other for a few long seconds, your arms firmly clinging to her torso as they did so. She moved her ass faster, taking every inch of your cock in and out of her with skillful, sensual movements. You ran your hands along her back, feeling the creamy skin beneath your fingertips. One of your hands ended up on the back of her head, there you couldn't help but caress her long, silky hair, which covered your face on each side.
“Come on bitch, finish him,” you heard Aeri say. “I already did all the work, it should be a piece of cake.”
Expecting Jimin not to fall for easy provocations was like expecting something from a wall. Exactly, you just couldn't expect anything. Jimin took that as another challenge, and she pulled away from your lips to plant both feet on the mattress on either side of your waist.
“Look how I make him fill my pussy, Uchinaga,” said Jimin, who began to jump on your cock.
Not even in the two nights you were together did you see Jimin so enthusiastic while she was riding you. It was like she had gained new strength, like a damn illogical Dragon Ball Z power-up. All because Aeri Uchinaga didn't know how to shut her big mouth and because she didn't know how to turn a deaf ear. She was jumping so hard and with such speed that you thought she was going to split you in half. Of course this had its advantages, you couldn't complain. Her tits bounced hypnotically, up and down and even making small circles. You latched onto both immediately.
Jimin dug her nails into your chest and scratched it downwards lightly. You let out a small grunt of pain, and as 'revenge' you gave one of her tits a loud slap that reverberated throughout the room along with the sound of her ass crashing against your pelvis. She didn't care in the slightest, in fact, in her eyes you could read that she wanted you to do it again. That's how you did it, giving multiple slaps to both of her tits. You didn't stop until they were red hot.
The hot scene soon became too much to bear. Jimin continued jumping as if her life depended on it—not her life, but the damn challenge that had her so energetic—; she brought her hands to your neck out of inertia, putting pressure around it with her slender fingers. It was something she had put into practice a couple of times that night, and each time she managed to give you that little boost you needed to cum.
"Mmmgh fuck!" you growled, pushing upwards as you came.
It was always religiously true that Jimin also came from feeling your cum filling her pussy. This time was no exception. She sank back down with a loud moan to the ceiling, grinding her hips forward and back between strong spasms, as your cock shot multiple thick jets of cum into her.
You held on to her waist this time, so she would lower her knees and lean into you again. You wrapped your arms around her again and kissed her for a few long seconds, exchanging moans and labored breaths. Finally, Jimin moved off you so that your cum flowed freely from her pussy to her right thigh.
Aeri watched your cum leak through Jimin's folds and bit her lip.
"Mmm… that looks delicious," she said.
"Clean up then," you said with a nod.
Aeri didn't hesitate for a single moment to go straight to Jimin's crotch, grabbing her thighs and burying her mouth there to collect every drop of cum that came out of her pussy. Jimin, who was still somewhat sensitive, squirmed between small painful moans as she stroked Aeri's hair. When Aeri finished, they looked at you.
"Who has the better pussy, judge?" she said between gasps, grabbing her own tits.
Aeri also looked expectantly at your response.
If you had to be honest, Jimin's pussy was something magical, a thing out of this world. But for your first time inside Aeri's, you had to say that she wasn't too far from that status. You had fucked her only once, while you did it with Jimin for a whole day. In any case, you didn't want to give a winner there either.
"Another tie," you said unabashedly.
They both frowned and you almost felt like you were going to get beaten up.
"What?!" they both said in unison.
"Calm your competitive asses and let me be just an indecisive man, will you?" You raised your eyebrows.
"No, fuck my tits right now," Jimin said, kneeling up.
You raised an eyebrow.
"And what makes you think you're in charge?" you said. "I'm sorry but you'll have to wait until I want to do it."
"So what do you want to do now, daddy?" Aeri said, lying on her stomach and picking up her knee to make her ass look much more appetizing.
You'd consider that a vile trick too, but it was perfectly clean. Only you were a weak man for a good ass of that magnitude.
"Oh my god, you even call him daddy," Jimin said as if disappointed. "Who's the slut now?"
"I am, any problem?" she looked at you. "Well? Are you going to eat my ass or not, daddy?"
"I'm going to do more than fucking eat it," you said.
You lay face down and placed your head above Aeri's huge ass, which you kissed on each buttock again and again until it left with small saliva stains; then you grabbed each butt cheek with your hand and spread them to each side, exposing her butthole for you. You planted your mouth there, eating Aeri's ass like a hungry dog. You licked and kissed in every way possible, with the main goal of getting her ready for what you were both waiting for.
When you were satisfied with that ass you knelt up and turned to look at Jimin.
"Do you want to lube it up for me, honey?" you said. She had her brow furrowed and her arms crossed. She was upset. "Don't be spoiled, Rina. You'll have your turn too."
It was enough for you to bring your hand to her left cheek and rub it gently. She softened her face little by little and pressed herself against your hand. Then she complied with your order, getting on her hands and knees to be level with your cock to suck it, purposely releasing spit in the middle of the blowjob to leave your shaft slippery and ready.
"Thank you, what a good girl," Aeri said with a giggle.
Jimin frowned again.
"I didn't do it for you, whore," she said.
"Shut up," you said. They both fell silent.
You took your lubricated cock and rode Aeri's ass, bracing your thighs on either side of her hips to rub your tip between her buttocks. She looked at you over her shoulder and looked down, grabbed her own buttocks and spread them for you. Next you pressed down on her butthole, which began to engulf you inch by inch.
You and Aeri let out a long moan of satisfaction, as your cock was already halfway inside her ass.
“Fuck, I missed this fucking delicious ass too much,” you growled, clinging to Aeri's waist.
"And I missed that huge cock inside it," Aeri replied, hugging the pillow she had under her head.
When your cock disappeared into Aeri's more than experienced ass you rested there for a few seconds, letting her feel every inch filling her. You soon began to move up and down, pumping your hips at a calm pace at first so that her butthole was stretched and ready for the real frenzy. Aeri quickly tired of your gentleness, and with her face she screamed for you to go faster. You fucked her ass as fast and hard as you could, hands resting on her back under her and also pulling her hair from time to time. Of course, you also filled her with multiple slaps but on her ass, now the red tone of her buttocks matched the one on Jimin's tits. Between hair pulls and brutal pumps, she came, hugging the pillow even tighter and biting it to drown out her screams.
"For the love of god, I definitely won't let these bitches have you so often..." she said between gasps, seeing you with strands of her hair stuck to her face.
"I'm a text away, Uchinaga," you said, leaning forward to kiss her cheek.
"Is it my turn now?" Jimin said from behind you.
You got out of Aeri's ass and turned to look at her.
"Of course," you nodded and spread your arms. "Come here, my spoiled, competitive little whore."
"There I go."
Jimin rushed into your arms and you received her with a warm hug, filling every part of her face with kisses before moving to her lips. You lasted a few long seconds kissing as if you were in one of those cliché romantic movies where the man holds the woman in her arms at the moment when she is about to fall to the ground. It must have been a very funny image for Aeri, it's a shame she couldn't see it because you had destroyed her ass.
After having kissed her enough you laid her on her back and you lay on her stomach between her outstretched legs. On a normal occasion your target would have been her delicious pussy, but this time you focused your attention on her butthole. She brought a hand to your hair and stroked it gently, watching you with bright little eyes as you planted your tongue on her ass.
You made sure that she enjoyed eating her ass as much as you did, which you think you did quite well since she was already twisting her hips slightly while grabbing a tit.
"Are you ready, baby?" you said, looking into her eyes.
She bit her lower lip, and nodded with flushed cheeks.
"Well, this time I'll have to lube myself," you said, bringing a hand to your mouth.
"No!" She interrupted quickly, then spit into her own hand and brought it to your cock to rub it until it had regained its slippery state. When you made the move to guide your cock into her ass yourself. She stopped you once again to do it herself.
"Fuck, you're a good girl, aren't you?" you said in a murmur, looking into her eyes as your tip pressed against her butthole.
"I am for you and only you..." she murmured back. "But don't tell Gigi that."
"I heard it," Aeri said immediately, quietly.
Before Yoo 'Short Tempered' Jimin could argue again, you pushed forward and took your cock inside her tight ass. Any possible response Jimin was going to give Aeri was cut off by a high-pitched squeal of pleasure as she felt your cock fill her ass.
"Please kiss me again," Jimin requested between small moans when your cock was about to reach the bottom.
You leaned forward and she hugged you again, both arms around your neck the moment your lips met again. You pleasured her only for a few seconds, until your cock had already reached the bottom and you had already done the first slow pumps.
Jimin's ass wasn't as experienced and easy to stretch as Aeri's. It required patience. You were willing to have it, after all, the sight of her face flushed and twisted with pleasure made every juicy second that your cock slid in and out of her butthole worth it.
"Are you okay, baby?" you said as you straightened your back, caressing her inner thighs.
She nodded with her eyes closed and her lips pursed.
"I'm fine, love..." she gasped. "You just fuck me, show no mercy. It's an order."
You smiled and gave one of her tits a hard slap. The red was revived. She squealed and opened her eyes to look at you.
"What makes you think you can order me around?"
"I don't care, shut your mouth and obey..."
You put a hand on her neck. You squeezed your fingers tightly, and she automatically brought her hands to hold onto your wrist since you were cutting off her breathing. You moved your hips faster, harder. Now you made her tits bounce subtly.
"Are you sure? Reconsider your answer... come on," you growled, loosening your grip.
"Do..." she swallowed thickly and muffled a moan against her pursed lips. "Do whatever you want with me daddy."
You heard a laugh from Aeri.
"Who's the slut now?" she said, imitating Jimin's exact tone of voice when she told her a few minutes ago.
Once again, you had to deprive her of any option to respond, now bringing both hands to her neck to now fuck her without any kind of mercy, just as she had asked you. Her tits started bouncing faster. She spread her legs wide and moved them as far back as she could, giving you better access to her ass while you fucked her.
You didn't expect that the law that whenever she felt how you filled her with your cum she also came would also apply to her butthole, but hilariously it did. You let go of her neck and she took a sharp breath. At this point she was no longer moaning, she could only let out muffled, incomplete sounds. You held one hand to her waist and with the other you squeezed her tits. Seconds later you came, and the moment you felt a drop of cum inside her, she followed you.
“Mmggh, fuck yes,” Jimin groaned, clenching the sheets on either side of her as you shot cum inside her. "Fill my ass daddy... fill me to the fucking bottom."
Aeri gasped in surprise.
"My god... Jiminie is a cum slut, who was going to say that."
Despite your efforts to make Jimin not respond with words, she did so anyway with actions, smacking Aeri's hand on her thigh to make her squeal. You leaned forward to brush your lips against Jimin's ear.
"She may or may not bother you..." you whispered. "But she's right."
Jimin grabbed you by your neck and also brought her mouth to your ear.
"Yeah, I'm your fucking cum slut..." she whispered back. "But she doesn't have to know."
"I don't think she didn't notice, anyway."
You and she laughed. You stood up, pulling out of her ass to watch your cum spill out of her. You looked at Aeri, and just by meeting your eyes she instantly knew what to do. You moved away and she took your position, she lowered herself down and started eating Jimin's ass, consequently swallowing your cum on the way. You couldn't help but give Aeri another spank while she did it.
When they finished cleaning they looked at you again.
"So, who has the best ass?" Aeri said, clearly expecting only one answer judging by the look on her face.
This time you couldn't just lie, you had to be completely honest. As much as you loved Jimin's ass, Aeri was on a whole other level.
"The winner here will be Aeri," you said, lying down on the corner of the bed to rest.
"Yayyyy!" Aeri screamed to small applause. "I knew it, I kneeeew it."
Contrary to what you thought at first, Jimin didn't seem to care about her defeat in this round. She seemed calm, perhaps aware of what was coming next. She just lay down on a pillow and moved her tits from side to side.
"I don't care, you won't be able to beat me at this, slut," she said, bringing her arms together to squeeze her tits together.
You sighed and closed your eyes.
“Fuck, just let me rest for a moment,” you said. "I feel like I'm going to die at any moment."
For the first time all night, the two of them seemed to agree on something, as they lay down, one on each side of you, to fill you with kisses, cuddles and caresses of all kinds. In short, if heaven existed, it must be something extremely similar to that.
It took about twenty minutes until you were halfway composed.
"Okay," you said as you opened your eyes. "Jiminie, lie down."
Jimin got up from your side and went straight to lay down on the same pillow as before. You also got up and went to straddle her, your recently hard cock again—thanks to the two of them touching it seconds before— floating above her tits.
You placed your cock in the middle of those pair of heavy mounds and she brought her arms together to trap you between them. This time you didn't let her do the honors, you used your own saliva to lubricate your cock and part of her tits. Then, you pumped your hips back and forth. There you didn't have to be patient, so you went straight with frantic pumps over and over again.
Last time it had been Jimin who had fucked you with her tits, but you hadn't had the chance to actually fuck her tits. It was an incredibly pleasurable experience,  like sliding your cock between two pieces of soft, warm meat. You did it for about two minutes. But as much as you loved doing it, you couldn't give her the pleasure of draining you again.
You stopped and got out from between her tits. Jimin looked at you with a frown.
"Huh? What are you doing?" she said.
"I'm sorry, but you've already made me cum twice," you said.
"Inside you," Aeri added. You nodded.
"The fair thing would be to let Aeri make me cum this time."
Jimin rolled her eyes and shook her head, visibly offended when she knew perfectly well that you were right.
You moved towards Aeri, who stopped you before you straddled her lap.
"Nuh uh," she shook her head. "I already know that she beats me in tits, I don't care about that. I just want to make you cum with my thighs."
You raised both eyebrows, surprised at the fact that she left her competitiveness aside for once all night.
"Only if you let me paint your tits and face anyway," you said.
Aeri smiled.
"It's a deal, daddy," she nodded and lay on her side, with both legs out to the side.
When you positioned yourself in front of her and made the gesture of entering between her thighs, she stopped you again and spit on her hand to lubricate your cock with it. When your cock was slippery again she raised one thigh, and when your cock was in the middle of both, she lowered it again to wrap it in a sandwich of thick, tender meat.
"Oh my god..." you gasped, throwing your head back.
You clung to the back of Aeri's knee with one hand and her thigh with the other, using as much downward pressure as possible to feel your cock being smothered by flesh from above and below.
"You love it, don't you?" Aeri said, staring at you.
"Oh fuck yes," you nodded between small grunts.
You pumped slowly at first, just to feel every little detail and texture of her perfect thighs as you slid in and out of them. The sensation was similar to being between Jimin's tits, only it felt much warmer and tighter, as Aeri made sure to keep her thighs as pressed between your cock as possible. It was suffocating to a certain extent, but you didn't mind in the least.
One of your hands came to rest on her waist, but then she quickly went up to her more than decent tits to squeeze them and play with her nipples. Aeri let out small moans as you played with her tits.
"Why don't you put it further to the right?" she said, referring to your cock.
She lifted her thigh and grabbed your cock to position it a few inches further to the right, where it met the silky smooth folds of her plump pussy on the side. She lowered the thigh again, making the meat sandwich once more. You were free to fuck her thighs once more, only this time you had an extra stimulus: her folds rubbing against your cock on the right.
It was kind of embarrassing how quickly that turned out, as you darted out from between her thighs and rose to stand above her, both of your feet on either side of her shoulders. And in true JAV style, you masturbated on top of her to shoot your last jets of cum on her tits and, mainly, her face. Both sides were painted white in a matter of seconds.
Aeri gasped satisfied and licked the cum from her own lips and chin with her tongue.
"Oh god...this feels like heaven to me," she said with a gasp looking at you.
You looked at Jimin, who raised her eyebrows.
"Do I really have to clean her up?" she said.
"Just fucking come here, Jiminie," Aeri said holding out her hand.
Jimin reluctantly took Aeri's hand and let herself be pulled by her. She fell silent on the Japanese woman's body, and both began to share a torrid making out session whose rather secondary objective was to clean the cum from Aeri's face. It took about a minute until Jimin had cleaned both the cum from her face and her tits.
"As you can understand, this is a debate that is impossible to close..." you said between labored breaths. "But I'm happy to continue trying to make you decide."
"Can we spend the night with you?" Jimin said, hugging Aeri from the side.
"Please say yes," Aeri said with a pout, also hugging Jimin and entwining her thighs with hers.
"Please no more sex, that's the only condition," you said, lying down on the other end of the bed. "My tank is emptied”.
"Just now we spent a while giving you kisses and making you a spoiled boy," Jimin said. "Who says we can't do it again all night?"
That was all you needed to hear after going through such daytime garbage. You moved to lie behind Jimin and wrapped them both in a hug. Jimin gave you a kiss on your forearm, and Aeri gave you one on the back of your hand.
You spent the rest of the night looking like a polyamorous relationship in which you were the main focus. You chatted, laughed a lot and told silly stories. Just what you needed to forget, just for a moment, about all the shit that was coming your way.
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As always. Thanks for reading! MASTERLIST HERE!
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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 2 months
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
Someone requested some advice on whether to openly tell people you are mentally ill/neurodivergent/invisibly disabled or not.
There's some research that suggests that, for example, autistic people are more likely to identify as lgbt+ than their non-autistic peers - so this is absolutely a topic that belongs on a lgbt+ blog and I'm sure there are a lot of you who had to make that decision (and probably keep having to make it as coming-outs of any sort are rarely one-and-done!).
In fact, I had/have to make that decision myself! As an autistic person with depression and anxiety, I could tell you now why I personally decided to be open about all those diagnoses - but the right decision for me isn't necessarily the right decision for you as my life isn't yours.
So, what I'll do instead is to write down a general list with (potential) pros and cons, and I encourage you to nitpick it. Personalize it, take some time to decide how much, if at all, each point weighs in your own decision. There's no right or wrong answer here. It's all about your highly individual situation, about your safety and comfort.
Reasons not to be open about it:
It may put you at risk for various sorts of hate, discrimination, negative stigma and bad treatment
It may put a burden on you to educate others and discuss any misconceptions or myths they believe in, including potentially hurtful or disstressing ones (maybe even fruitlessly so which may cause frustrations or fights)
It may change the way people treat you, even in well-meant ways (babying you, pitying you, trying to "help" against your wishes etc.)
It may feel like a loss of privacy, make you feel "naked" or emotionally vulnerable, make you worry more about the way others perceive you etc.
Reasons to be open about it:
It may help others understand you or your behavior better, which may have positive effects on your relationships
It may allow you to ask for support and help more easily (either from friends and loved ones or in the workplace, school etc.)
It may make you feel empowered and help you accept/love yourself as a disabled person more
It may contribute to making your specific diagnosis more visible in society (which may also make you feel pride in breaking down stereotypes and supporting your community)
It may discourage people from assigning wrong or hurtful labels to you (either armchair-diagnosing you or labeling you as weird, crazy, lazy, gross etc.)
It's important to keep in mind that some people do not have the option to make this decision for themselves, for example because they have highly visible symptoms or they are in a position where their caretakers make the decision for them. This adds another layer to why we can't judge one decision as better or worse than the other - it's not always their own decision.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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thebibliosphere · 5 months
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In case you were wondering how deep down the Batfam fixation hole I am, it's something I've actually been talking about in therapy a lot.
Not like, in a worried way, more just when my therapist asks me what I'm doing in my downtime, my answer always used to be either "sleeping" or "I don't have downtime. I have too much work to do."
Now my answer is "playing my Batman game" or "watching Batman show/reading comics/writing unhinged Batman x Muppet fanfic."
And my therapist is delighted. She's fucking ecstatic. She's like, "You have interests again!" and I'm like !!!! Because here's the thing.
Almost dying in 2019 kinda irrevocably fucked up my brain, like, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And I've been grieving over that for the last few years as well as recovering from the physical aspects of it. And to cope with it, I threw myself into work even though I wasn't physically or mentally well enough, and that made everything worse, and well, if you've been here, you know.
My brain has not been kind to me for a long time. It still isn't. But I do the work. I do multiple types of therapy a week. I piece myself back together on the daily and try to remember what it means to be human and not just this numb static void that sometimes sounds like shrieking if you listen too closely.
And then randomly, a few months ago a friend bought me Gotham Knights on Steam, and it was like a light turned back on. The engine that'd been refusing to turn over for years suddenly sputtered back to life, and something in my brain went, "Hey, I remember this... this is fun?"
And then I started tentatively searching the tags here on Tumblr, and yeah, actually. I remember this. I remember enjoying this. I can dip my toes into this. This is safe. This is a childhood interest from Before the almost-dying-trauma. And besides, it won't get in the way of my work. This isn't going to consume me. Nothing consumes me like it used to. I'm too broken for that.
Except, haha, jokes on me because, for some fucking reason, Brucie fucking Wayne and his gaggle of chaotic crime-fighting children is what reached into my brain, picked up my trauma, and started shaking it loose like a category 7 earthquake.
I actually laughed about that with my therapist a few weeks ago. Of all characters, of all pieces of media, it's Batman that's helping me process a significant chunk of my emotional trauma in a healthy way.
The most emotionally constipated vigilante in superhero existence, and I'm weeping like a child every time I get an achievement in Gotham Knights, and it says some bullshit like this:
Tumblr media
ID: a purple steam achievement icon that says: He'd Be So Proud Of You. Reach the maximum level as any member of the Batman Family. 6.3% of players have this achievement. /end ID.
(for context, Batman is dead in this game, and you are playing as his emotionally devastated children trying to keep it together. Wailing, gnashing, crying, throwing up etc, etc.)
And my therapist, who has sat with me through EMDR sessions and a multitude of other shit designed to rewire your brain, just shrugs and says, "Sometimes we need to externalize our emotions through safe media. For you, right now, that safety is Batman having a relationship with the Muppets."
And like... okay, yeah. I'll take the win on that one.
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AITA for scamming my ex out of an extremely valuable virtual pet?
🐓🥤to recognize. This might be a very long post with a lot of added context for a very niche hobby and a very small actual conflict.
I religiously play a virtual pet site called Chicken Smoothie. It's a pretty old site as far as virtual pet games go, starting back in 2008, so there is a pretty solid established site economy. Just for some context, Every pet on the site has a rarity, ranging from "OMG So Common" to "OMG So Rare", being the most common and most rare respectively. But there are rarities within those rarities, where some OMGSRs can be worth more than others based on species and demand. For example, an OMGSR dog from 2008 will be worth more than an OMGSR rat from 2008 despite being the same highest rarity and year, because people prefer the dogs over rats. These pets can get extremely valuable. You can't sell them for real money (according to site rules, but of course there's a black market), but the site has its own virtual currency you can buy (with real money) and trade for called Chicken Dollars, and you can also trade a valuable pet for other valuable pets. It gets very complicated, with the community coming up with its own set of value terms each pet can have. I'm not getting into specifics there, that's not important.
Every year, on December 18th, CS has gift boxes you can adopt from. These gift boxes can contain any rare pet from any previous year, including special "Unreleased pets" that you can only get from these Dec 18th boxes, with a very slim chance. These unreleased pets are some of the most valuable and rarest in the game.
Recently, I had seen my ex posting on the forums. I didn't know he had an account, he had made it within this year, long after I got the fuck away from him, and I only knew it was him because he uses the same username everywhere. This person had groomed me, physically abused me when we were together (we no longer live anywhere near each other, thankfully) and has always been emotionally manipulative. He does not know I play, and he wouldn't recognize my account as me. I took a note of his account and left it be for a while, until December 18th hit and I took a peek at what he had got. And what he got was one of the new Unreleased pets, which currently at the time of writing this only looks like a box of cereal. (Most pets on the site have growth stages.) And even better, all his groups were open for trade, so I took a chance and sent an extremely terrible trade. I told him that this pet would only be a recent rare, and I offered him a "Very Rare" rarity (but not very valuable) pet from 2018, telling him I was overpaying. (In the CS community, this is known as Ninjaing, and it's Not A Good Thing To Do). I didn't expect him to accept it, I at least thought he'd be smart enough to ask in the trade advice thread that is literally pinned on the home page for December 18th, but he didn't. He took my word for it and accepted the trade, and now I own an unreleased pet that will eventually end up as an OMGSR.
What I did was not a bannable offence. He will not get his unreleased pet back. The CS mods are laughable at worst, incompetent at best, and don't do anything to stop scamming. They have an "eh, sucks to be you, sorry, be smarter next time" mentality when people get scammed (Which is insane because there are literal single digit aged children allowed on this site!!!)
After taking a bit to think about it, I do feel a bit guilty because I really would not do this in any other circumstances. I hate scamming. I did what I did out of anger and contempt, and I do feel a bit guilty because in essence, I scammed a new player that didn't have much else and didn't know any better.
I'm still keeping that unreleased cereal box no matter what though
What are these acronyms?
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starastrologyy · 7 months
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“You illuminate me”
Sun in partners Houses in Synastry
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Hi everyone, please note that this is mainly referring to romantic synastry. I can do more posts about platonic or familial synastry in the future, if that’s something that would interest anyone :)
The Sun shows us the area of life we essentially “illuminate” in the life of another person.
Sun in partners 1st house
This is a great overlay in most relationships, as it suggests that there is a common sense of understanding and resonance between the two. The Sun persons ego and identity are in sync with the House persons personality and outward persona. These two can become fast friends, and feel as if they have a lot in common. The Sun person can be drawn to the Ascendant persons physical appearance, and the manner in which they carry themselves. In turn, the house person can often validate the Sun person’s ego and basic identity. They have a profound impact on each others identities and feelings of self-confidence.
Sun in partners 2nd house
The Sun person brings awareness to the house persons values, finances, possessions, and sense of self-worth. The Sun person has the potential to impact the house persons feelings of self-worth (however, this can be negatively or positively depending on how the Sun persons Sun, is aspecting the house persons planets). Nevertheless, in some cases the Sun person can help the house person re-evaluate how they spend money and handle their finances in general. In a romantic context, the house person can at times feel possessive over the Sun person. This is often because they see the Sun person as someone who they “value”. However, if the Sun person is someone who dislikes feeling restricted, they will at times feel overwhelmed by excessive displays of possessiveness. (Please note that this can go either way, it can also be the Sun person feeling possessive of the house person) Despite this, this a helpful overlay when it comes to the acquisition of material items and gifts.
Sun in partners 3rd house
This is a highly communicative and intellectual overlay. The Sun person can encourage the house person to explore matters related to short-distance travels, communication, writing, and mental processing. If words of affirmation are one of your primary love languages, 3rd house overlays are perfect for you. The Sun person often stimulates the house persons desire to communicate, learn, and explore their immediate environment. There can at times be a ‘sibling-like’ bond between the two, as there are likely to be many lively debates and discussions with this overlay.
Sun in partners 4th house
This can often prove to be a very emotionally intimate overlay. The Sun person can encourage the house person to explore their ancestry, heritage, or familial roots in some cases. Alternatively, the house person may feel as if the Sun person is someone who they can truly open up to. There can even be an emotional dependency that forms between the two people. There’s a sense of comfort and familiarity here (as with most overlays on an angle). In a platonic relationship, the Sun person can “feel like family” to the house person. However, in a romantic context, the House person can develop a strong emotional attachment to the Sun person. If there are other factors that support this, the two may even have the desire to live together.
Sun in partners 5th house
This is a very fun, flirty, and light-hearted overlay. These two likely enjoy each other’s company. The Sun person stimulates the house persons desire for fun, romance, and creativity. There can be mutual affection, attraction, and desire between the two. However, it must be noted that 5th house overlays (by themselves) are often not indicative of long-term relationships. However, they do help keep the “spark alive” in most relationships. There can be a great deal of affection and desire that is generated here. The desire is not raw and primal like 8th house overlays, it’s more of a playful or ‘smitten’ type of yearning. Moreover, the 5th house is also the house of children. Thus, children can be a theme here. Lastly, the Sun person can also encourage the house person to be confident in their self-expression. There can also be an emphasis on creativity and shared hobbies with this overlay.
Sun in partners 6th house
This overlay emphasizes routine, service, health, and productivity. The Sun person can make the house person aware of their routines and habits that may be negatively impacting their physical health. There is also a sense of dependability and responsibility that is generated with this overlay. However, planets that fall on the 6th/12th house axis, can also denote that one person tends to give more than they receive. Thus, feelings of resentment can emerge over time. Despite this, the house person often appreciates how helpful the Sun person is. There can also be an emphasis on work, pets, or physical health when they are together. The Sun person can encourage the house person to adopt healthier habits and a productive daily routine.
Sun in partners 7th house
The 7th house is the natural house of partnerships. Thus, when someone’s Sun falls into your 7th house, you may feel as if this person has all the qualities that you desire or look for in a romantic partner. The 7th house is also the house of contracts and business partnerships. Thus, it’s possible that the desire to be business partners can also emerge. Although, 7th house overlays generally yield positive results. The 7th house is also the house of open-enemies. Thus, there can at times be a “love-hate” dynamic between the two. Despite this, you can often feel a very strong ‘pull’ towards someone who has their Sun in your 7th house. Some astrologers assert that 7th house overlays can lead to co-dependency but I think it depends on the individuals involved.
Sun in partners 8th house
This can be an intense but highly transformative overlay. The Sun person often triggers a great deal of transformation within the house person (even if they are unaware of this). The Sun person can illuminate or bring attention to issues that are related to death, transformation, shared resources, taxes, and psychology, in the house persons life. In a romantic relationship, this can cause a great deal of sexual attraction. However, I would also look for 8th house overlays of Mars, Venus, and the Ascendant when it comes to sexual attraction that involves the 8th house. Furthermore, 8th house overlays are rarely ‘easy’ as they often evoke extreme feelings, reactions, and emotions. However, they can be deeply intimate and binding. It can be hard for the 8th house person to let the Sun person go. These two can connect on an exceptionally intimate level (both emotionally and physically). One person may even introduce the other to matters/mediums that are related to the occult or healing.
Sun in partners 9th house
The house person tends to learn a lot from the Sun person with this overlay. They may even idealize them or place them on a pedestal at times. The house persons belief systems and worldly views may change or solidify when they are around the Sun person. This is a very expansive overlay. Topics related to higher education, foreign travel, philosophy, and politics can frequently emerge. Adventure, exploration, education, and travel are key themes here. The Sun person can stimulate the house persons desire for travel and expansion. The world is their oyster. They tend to expand each other’s worldviews and challenge each other’s deeply held beliefs. They can spend a lot of time discussing religion, politics, foreign affairs etc.. (especially if this is accompanied by a 9th house Mercury overlay).
Sun in partners 10th house
This is often a good overlay if two people want to do business together. However, in a romantic context, the Sun person can motivate the house person to achieve all of their career goals and aspirations. In some cases, the Sun person can often show a lot of interest in the house persons career, status, and reputation. The Sun person may even take pride in being associated with the house person. There can be a great deal of admiration and/or respect generated with this overlay. At times, this overlay can have a superficial quality to it, as one or both people may be more concerned about how the other person enhances their reputation or status. However, if both people are exceptionally career or goal-oriented, this can be an overlay that brings them even closer.
Sun in partners 11th house
The 11th house is the house of gains, networks, friendships, worldly aspirations, and communities. With this overlay, a friendship can form between the two people. 11th house overlays tend to produce dynamics in which two people are very tolerant and accepting of each other. These two may eventually integrate their social circles or introduce each other to their respective friends. In some cases, the desire to participate in humanitarian work together can emerge. Although 11th house overlays are not seen as traditionally ‘romantic overlays’ , I actually have observed that they are often present in many long-term relationships (same with 9th house overlays), as the relationship is primarily built on a sense of mutual friendship and camaraderie. Both people are inclined to be tolerant of each other’s quirks and eccentricities with this overlay. The Sun person can introduce the house person to influential groups or networks .
Sun in partners 12th house
12th house overlays are always very interesting in synastry. Their most positive manifestations can denote a highly spiritual, forgiving, and compassionate bond between two people. However if the planet receives many difficult aspects , there may be elements of mistrust, illusions, confusion or even deception. When someone’s Sun falls into another persons 12th house, they can make the house person aware of their personal “blind spots”. One or both people may have to make some personal sacrifices to make the relationship work. In some cases, the Sun person can serve as a spiritual mentor to the house person. Individuals who are very spiritual often remark how 12th house synastry (or a significant transit to the 12th house) triggered their spiritual awakening. Moreover, there can be elements of fantasy or illusion that accompany 12th house overlays. You don’t always see people who have planets in your 12th house clearly. However, you can feel a very deep and ‘otherworldly’ connection to them. If both people are willing to do the work and have made piece with their shadow-sides, 12th house overlays can be incredibly intimate and spiritually healing.
Chart readings are still open for those who are interested! The link is in my bio :)
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lancermylove · 18 days
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Dark Side of Dating Him (HC)
Fandom: Obey Me
Pairing: Demons x gn!Reader
Warning: The warnings vary depending on the demon, but nothing too severe.
A/N: This is the dark side, so proceed with caution. If you guys like this HC, I can write one slightly darker and more situational.
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Lucifer
Due to his pride, he may be emotionally distant and will not admit to mistakes easily. This could lead to a lack of a deep emotional connection.
He can be dominating and demanding, and at times, he may come off as if he is dictating the relationship. Lucifer likes and wants things to go his way, so compromising is difficult for him.
The Avatar of Pride is known for perfection, so his expectations are high for himself and for you. This could lead to a lot of mental pressure for you if you don't strive for perfection or are not meticulous.
Lucifer likes to maintain his appearance, dress well, and keep himself well-groomed. He expects the same from his partner, so if you like dressing down or prefer comfortable clothes, it may become an issue.
Due to his intimidating nature, it may be difficult to open up to him. Moreover, he tries to be understanding, but he isn't openly empathetic. So, he may come off as emotionally unavailable. At times, he might also come off as insensitive when you are being emotional, and Lucifer tells you to be mature and learn how to handle your emotions. He means well, but his way of saying it will be too straightforward.
Whether you like it or not, you will end up being roped into helping take care of his brothers. Due to Lucifer's busy schedule, you will most likely end up taking care of everyone by yourself most of the time.
Lucifer is busy, so he won't have much time to spend with you. Sometimes, even if you are married to him, you might feel lonely.
Mammon
Say goodbye to your money because Mammon will 'borrow' it if needed. He might gamble it off and recklessly spend it, and there is also a very slim chance that he will pay it back.
Mammon gets easily jealous and won't like it if you spend too much time around other men, especially if he feels threatened by them. There may also be a bit of possessiveness involved.
Due to his sensitive nature, he might complain to you endlessly and use you as an emotional dump at times. He doesn't mean to, but he can't control himself, especially if Mammon is overloaded or stressed.
He isn't the smartest or sharpest demon, so there will be times when you will have to explain things to him in detail for him to understand. His initial reaction to your emotions may come off as insensitive as he may make casually straightforward statements (that he actually doesn't mean).
His need for greed might put you in dangerous situations; for example, he might carelessly say he will hand you over to his witch friends if he can't pay back their debt. Will he actually hand you over? No, but the witches might hunt you. Debt collectors might also come after you. You will also have to hear, "Mammon took my money. Pay it back, or get him to pay it back."
Mammon sometimes finds it difficult to take things seriously. He gets uncomfortable during serious discussions and tries to avoid them, so sitting down with him and having a long, mature discussion is nearly impossible.
His things belong to him, his brothers' things belong to him, and your things also belong to him. You will definitely find your belongings missing. More often than not, his excuse will be, ' He needed to get out of debt.'
Levi
As the Avatar of Envy, Levi will be jealous of everything. You get lucky, he will be envious. You laugh and have a good time with someone, he will be jealous. You achieve something, and Levi will be happy for you but will be envious. This may lead him to experience mood swings and possibly push you away for a short period every time.
If you are social, Levi will sometimes feel suffocated by your need to constantly spend time with others and go to parties/events. Even if you invite him, he won't come along. In a sense, he expects you to be as introverted as him and spend most of your time with him.
Even if you reassure him that you love him, there will almost always be moments when he experiences an inferiority complex. This leads to emotional withdrawal and might even lead to him projecting his insecurities on you.
Due to his obsession with gaming and anime, he might neglect the relationship for daily runs and episodes or binge-watching. If you join him, great, more time together. But if you want him to do something you like, it will be difficult to convince him.
Most of all, if you tell him any of this, he will not take the criticism well. Levi is very sensitive, and if you point out his flaws, Levi will immediately categorize it as 'you don't understand him.'
Due to his insecurities, he might become clingy or overly dependent on you for many things. One habit you will have to develop is constantly reassuring him that he is good enough for you and that you love him.
Satan
The Avatar of Wrath has wrath issues, so expect sudden and unpredictable outbursts. Though Satan will never want to harm you, if his blind rage activates, he might unintentionally hurt you while breaking things around him.
If you do or say anything that rubs him the wrong way, he will hold grudges. Just ask Lucifer. That grudge will not go away easily, which might strain your relationship. To tie in with this, he doesn't forgive easily.
There will be times when Satan will want to spend time alone with his beloved books. Even if you want to spend time with him, he might say no. Satan values his alone time just as much as he values spending time with you.
If you get into an argument with Satan, things will escalate, and it might incur his wrath. At that point, he will be destructive and even possibly attack you. He doesn't mean to, but blind rage hinders his thoughts.
His directness, mixed with his intelligence, can come off as cold and ruthless. While he can process emotions, Satan thinks more logically, so his mind will react before his heart.
Even if you have nothing against Lucifer, you will always have to side with Satan, even if he is in the wrong. If you, even accidentally, say that Lucifer is right, Satan will get angry. He might take it overly personally and distance himself from you.
Asmo
Asmo's love for himself is a mix between insecurity and narcissism. You will have to feed both of those sides by constantly validating how beautiful he is and flatter him whenever he needs you to, even when he doesn't need it.
He is friendly with everyone. He flirts with everyone, even if he is dating you. It's just part of who he is. But if you get overly close to someone else, Asmo will be jealous.
Being the Avatar of Lust, desire runs high. If you value monogamy, there will be issues. Asmo needs attention constantly, and he will get it from whoever is willing to give it to him.
This need for constant attraction will lead to a need for high physical intimacy. At any given moment, Asmo could need you, and if you are not available or don't want to, he will throw tantrums and go to another person.
Physical beauty is important to him, so he will need a partner who equally maintains their beauty. If you let go of yourself or stop caring, Asmo will no longer be attracted to you. He will break up with you.
He has no boundaries. If you are secretive or value privacy, you will have trouble with Asmo's constant need to share everything on social media without limits. He might actually end up sharing personal things that you won't want him to tell others.
Beel
His constant need to eat could rub off on you, and you could end up eating excessively. There will be times when Beel will also force you to eat, and if you say no, he might get upset, as sharing food is one way of showing his love.
There is a high chance that most of your money might end up being spent after Beel's gluttonous tendencies. At times, you might end up in trouble if you can't pay off his bills. Be prepared to wash a few dishes or so.
Since his family has been through a lot, Beel might be overly protective of you. He is not trying to be dominating, but he doesn't want you to get hurt, so he might just follow you around everywhere or forbid you from going somewhere. His fear of losing someone else is still weighing on his heart.
You will have to give in to Belphie's wishes, no questions asked. If Beel learns that you upset his twin or said something to hurt him, he will be very sad and distance himself from you. Moreover, just to date him, you will need Belphie's approval.
Since Beel doesn't understand many things, there will be times when you have to explain situations to him like you would to a child. This could lead to frustration, especially if you are not feeling emotionally or mentally well.
Belphie
The Avatar of Sloth is lazy, so there will be times when he will not actively participate in the relationship. Sometimes, you might feel like you are talking to a wall and are in a one-sided relationship.
Also, due to his laziness, you will most likely have to take over his responsibilities and be responsible for him. You might have to constantly wake him up and remind him of studying, tests, homework, chores, and so on. This could also lead to Belphie becoming completely dependent on you, asking you to do this and that for him.
You will have to get along with Beel. Even if Beel does something wrong, you will have to take his side for Belphie's sake.
If you have long, emotional conversations with him when you are not doing well, you might just end up realizing he fell asleep halfway through the conversations. His sleep spells come and go as they please.
If you are adventurous and active, you might find it difficult to be around Belphie as he will not want to go anywhere with you or not move much. Most of your dates will be at home, where he is curled up to you and probably asleep.
His laziness might rub off on you, leading you to live a more lethargic lifestyle. This could impact your personal growth and goals.
Diavolo
Unless you are royalty yourself, there will be a huge power imbalance, and this, at times, could cause you to feel overwhelmed or overshadowed.
As a prince, Diavolo has high expectations for himself and for his partner. You will have to follow every rule, behave properly, and dress royally; you are expected to uphold a certain image and take responsibility. If you are not up for this, no matter how much Diavolo loves you, he won't be able to continue the relationship with you.
Much like Diavolo is currently experiencing, you will have to face public scrutiny. The residents of Devildom will constantly subject you to their opinions and judgments. Some will be rude, while others will make fun of you or say you are not worthy - you will have to face all of it for your sake and the prince's sake.
With all the responsibilities and duties, Diavolo will not have much time for you. This could lead to you feeling neglected, but it is out of Diavolo's hands since he has to take care of a realm.
Due to his status and position, there will always be enemies lurking around, which could put you in danger. For this reason, Diavolo will be very strict with you about following rules and regulations, such as not stepping out without a bodyguard.
Your relationship will not have much privacy as everywhere you go, everything you do will become news. Your entire life will be for the public of Devildom to view as they please.
Barbatos
Barbatos is known for having a lot of secrets; moreover, since he works with Diavolo, he is expected to maintain secrecy and discretion. There will be many things you won't know about him and many things he will never tell you. You are not allowed to poke your nose into his secret, or he will be forced to end things with you. In fact, when you start dating him, this will be one of his requirements.
His priority is and always will be Diavolo. Barbatos has sworn unwavering loyalty to the prince, and even if you are married to him, he will always give Diavolo's needs more attention. At extreme levels, in case there is an attack on the castle, Barbatos will be responsible for saving the prince before you. But he will clarify all of this before he agrees to date you.
The butler is a master at playing mind games, so there might be times when he mentally manipulates you without you even realizing it. If you pick up on it, this could lead to trust issues. Moreover, he has the power to alter timelines, so who knows which timeline the two of you are currently in and how many other outcomes came before this one?
Barbatos does not openly display emotions; even his emotions are calculated, and he only reveals what he wants to reveal. You will never understand his motives either. In a sense, you won't ever meet the real Barbatos as he will never show you or anyone else that self.
Due to his duties, he won't be able to reserve much time for you. This could lead to loneliness or even a strain in the relationship. He might even have to miss important dates and events for the sake of his duties.
Barbatos is good at everything, and while he will never make you feel like you are less, it could lead to insecurities. You might find yourself asking, 'Am I good enough for him' more than you expect. If you ask him, he will always say yes, but ultimately, you will have to arrive at the answer yourself.
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