#this is my funniest post yet

[evil-ontheinside]

After Ted and Karen get divorced the Wheelers get a cat. He has a totally normal and respectable name at the beginning but after a week the kids start to call him Teddy in remembrance of their dad ("he's not dead, why are you like this?")

Mike starts to tell him what a great dad he is whenever Karen is around. He gets especially dramatic about it when she has a bad day. She's not sure if she should reprimand him or laugh.

She cracks when one morning she finds the normal cat bowl replaced with one that says 'best dad ever'. (Mike also gets her a cup with the same on it bc she's been parenting them alone the whole time, she deserves both titles)

Will is a little worried about Mike at first bc he still remembers how it was with his dad and Mike's been a little quiet ever since but then he sees him make a father's day present for the cat and decides he's gonna be alright

Dustin is always overly polite to 'Mr. Wheeler' whenever he's around and tells him how much he respects and appreciates him and all the work he does around the house

Ted doesn't know any of this but Mike slips up one time and calls the cat dad while he and Holly are over for the mandatory visits. Ted doesn't get it but Holly can't stop giggling for the rest of the time and Mike makes sure to make little 'mistakes' like that around Ted to see how much he can get away with. Ted never gets it but Holly is lying on the floor laughing as soon as they get home. Karen is suspicious but the two refuse to tell her what's so funny

Nancy doesn't seem too invested in the whole thing at first but then she replaces Ted's face in the family picture with Teddy's (it took her and Jonathan hours to take the perfect picture so it would fit but it was worth it). Karen didn't notice at first and then has to awkwardly explain the situation to Mrs. Sinclair when she comes over for coffee. Mike loses it every time he walks past the picture

[ame-in-the-rain]

Possession in Mob Psycho:

Possession in Faith the Unholy Trinity:

[glassseagull]

bryson stott when he gets out

[todayisafridaynight]

reasons number A Million why not every rgg character needs to be +6ft he looks so fuckin stretched out. actually got put in the willy wonka taffy puller

[beanghostprincess]

the strawhats do their own version of secret santa when they stop on a very friendly island and the people around the town explain to them what that tradition is, so they decide to spend some days there so they can buy whatever they want for their present.

sanji gets usopp new paintbrushes and a sketchbook but he feels like it's not... personal enough. that usopp deserves something better. bigger. and it's inherently a romantic holiday, right? he had the luck to be usopp's secret santa! the perfect time to confess! or, well, at least let him know that there's somebody interested in him without actually confessing. so he starts making little snacks for usopp every day of december and he leaves them in places like his workshop or next to his bunkbed or inside his pockets (in little gift boxes btw) etc etc etc. with a lil note that always says "from your secret santa <3" (or whatever. just imagine a cute little note). and of course usopp knows it's sanji because who else would it be? and it warms his heart so much he almost feels guilty for his gift! it isn't as cool as doing this every day! (yes, he got sanji too. ironically enough).

but when the time comes and sanji opens his present... it's a book. a very old book. but it's beautiful and very well-kept and it reminds him so much of that one book about the all blue and exotic sea creatures he used to read all the time when he was a kid. it almost makes him tear up. usopp found it in an old library and he talked his way out of paying tons of money for it (by talking his way out i mean: he cried until the old librarian gave it to him for a lower price). but of course, he doesn't tell that to sanji. he doesn't need to know who gifted it to him. but sanji knows because usopp is the only one who knows about this book and, well, okay, it could be anyone from the crew because they all know about his dream and passion for the all blue. but... it's just extremely specific. and it comes with a lil note exactly like the ones he had made for usopp's snacks.

they know they're each other's secret santa but they don't know the other knows. and they're so stupid and lovestruck... they spend the whole christmas swooning over each other.

[monards]

this came to me in a dream

lesbians eat. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nemmet]

thinking about be cool scooby doo fred on this delightful evening. he's afraid of widths. he gets emotional over a drumkit. he knows how to apply eyeliner perfectly. he's a sleep deprived, paranoid, manic danger to himself and others. he becomes enemies with a goat. his shoulders are so tense that they can break a chair. he goes to jail twice. where on earth did he get the funds to give the mystery machine all those high-tech upgrades. he hired a guy to make his epiphanies look more dramatic. the exterior of his house is an affront to god. he cannot take care of himself to save his life. he is a middle aged dad stuck in the body of an eighteen year old. he has childhood trauma related to halloween. he accidentally parked his van on a space shuttle. he is consistently aggravated by daphne’s commitment to the bit. he really needs to let go of those tiny red shorts. he's a court jester. he represents the order to his criminal father's chaos. he has control issues stemming from this but tries to overcome them for the sake of the gang and always apologises when he goes too far and knows that even when they wind him up it isn't a threat because he loves and trusts them so much and they care about him in turn even before he fully opens up to them about his childhood and—

[nagitosstolenhand]

effective summary of the shadow knight rebellion leadership

[faceeeeee]

Would you guys kill me if I only started to post about Splatoon-

[next-hero-in-line]

Let’s get …. Queered into oblivion

Time is my He/they/she lesbian boyfriend. 💕

[bamboozled-distress]

starting mpreg discourse in the comment section of a trolls band together fanart post on Instagram is probably my favourite thing I’ve ever done in my life

[dreemurr-skelememer]

I feel its only polite to return the skin, so, SKIN BE UPON YE<3

[sorrinslays]

Gepard's role in the story

(crack theory territory)

So, I'm sure I'm not the only one that noticed, but Gepard is extremely underused in the story, which is such a shame?

Like, I counted the times we see him in the main story and it's disappointing. We (Astrall Express Crew) see him at the start after Sampo ditches us, where he takes us to Cocolia and all, then we see him again at the end of the story when he's trying to stop us because he believes we are trying to harm the Supreme guardian and he fights us and his Sister and that's it. We don't see him again.

Then, when Topaz comes to Jarillo VI he is there for two scenes again. One where he tries to stop Topaz and gets ambushed and one at the end where he stops a woman from getting crushed to death.

Even in 'his' (Serval's) companion quest, he takes the backseat. Sure, the story was about Serval and her getting over Cocolia and Gepard's role was him just trying to show Serval that she is still needed in Belobog, but honestly they could've done more with him.

I think people forget that he doesn't know the truth of what really happened to Cocolia? (as far as I'm aware at least). Can you imagine if he learned the truth? The mental breakdown that he'll experience?

This man has been serving her for the better part of a decade. He was spoon-fed propaganda like that Underworlders are 'wild' (an item description mentions that he had to fight 'wild Underworlders' I'm pretty sure) and blindly following the Supreme Guardian's orders for years. How is he supposed to react when he learns that those 'necessary sacrifices' of his fellow guards was just an excuse to get rid of more Belobogians for the 'dream' the Stellaron promised Cocolia.

Don't forget, he knew those people. They were friends, comrades, people he saw everyday. And all of them were dying on the daily and he was powerless to do anything.

And when he learns the truth, how is he gonna react to Bronya's decision to cover it up? Were the deaths of his friends in vain? Do their families not deserve to know the truth as to why their loved ones died? How much blood does the late Supreme Guardian have on her hands? How much of it has transferred to Bronya? How much blood does Gepard have on his hands because he never questioned his orders?

Point is, he is so important to Belobog, he's the Goddamn Captain of the only military service they have there, obviously he is needed! So why underuse him so much?

Well, this is where we move more into theory territory. I think it ties in with a future Belobog quest that Black Swan's companion quest hinted at (at the end during Sampo's and Sparkle's conversation).

Since Gepard has been on the backburner, we have yet to see Sampo and Gepard interacting and the fact Sampo still doesn't have a companion quest even though he is an important lore character I think all of that will happen in the future.

I think it would work best as a quest without the Astral Express Crew, like the new POV mechanic or the cut aways used in the Loufu for Dan Heng. We could play as Gepard or Sampo as they are forced to work together for whatever reason.

We could play as Gepard as something big happens in the restricted zone (AKA the catastrophe Sparkle teased Sampo about). Maybe he gets informed about it (maybe we get a new 4* character that's a guard that informs Gepard) and when he makes it there, Sampo is already here, as if expecting it.

Maybe Bronya calls Gepard to her office after an anonymous tip was sent to her warning the Silvermane Guards of a catastrophe coming to Belobog. Maybe he is tasked with finding who sent the note as well as prepering for said catastrophe, which is how he runs into Sampo, having the two working together.

Maybe we play as Sampo, leaving clues for the Silvermane guards until we reveal ourselves, getting that 5* version. Maybe we are the one pushing the puzzle pieces so they fit on their own or maybe all through the quest we keep cutting back to a game of chess between Aha and Sampo, showing the unpredictable nature of the catastrophe as it was orchestrated by Aha just for shits and giggles.

Either way, this works great as a pathway to seeing:

a) the dynamic between Sampo (arguably the most mysterious character to come from Belobog) and Gepard (resident bbg)

b) 5* Sampo

c) (and this is mostly me playing around with concepts) Gepard becoming an emanator, becoming the first on screen character to be turned into an emanator

d) a great end to Sampo's character arc by becoming a part of Belobog (maybe he even becomes part of the Silvermanes as a detective)

e) more Geppie screen time and exploration of his character

(a few extra ramblings from my demented as a treat)

I think it's criminal that Gepard doesn't have his own companion quest and he's practically shoved in his sister's, and considering that Sampo doesn't have his own......................

I think it would be fair to have these two in a companion quest of their own.

I'm thinking of a quest where Sampo becomes a Silvermane guard (a detective to be more precise) and Gepard learns the truth about Cocolia.

I can imagine that during some investigation that Gepard is having a hard time with due to the Underworlders not trusting the Silvermane guards, he is forced to seek Sampo's help. So through Natasha, he gets ahold of Sampo and the two work together where Gepard, through investing a shady group learns what actually happened to Cocolia as well as all the lies he's been getting spooned-fed for years.

One mental breakdown and emotional conversation between the two later, they catch the criminals and Gepard takes it upon himself to make Sampo part of the Silvermane guards because of how helpful he's actually been recently (main story + new quest with the catastrophe + the companion quest + helping the Underworld in general).

The companion quest ends with Sampo becoming a detective (Heizou from Genshin Impact style) where he wants to prevent crimes from happening before they even committed. His reason being 'criminal to detective is pretty stereotypical and Aha might blow up the planet' so he challenges himself to stop crime before it's committed to keep Aha entertained enough that they don't blow up the planet but uninterested enough that they don't actively observe.

I think it would be a great end to both character arcs.

Gepard gets more screentime and learns to question orders (it'd be nice to see his friendship with Bronya damaged, cause technically he is her uncle (Cocolia adopted Bronya while she was still in a relationship with Serval, making him an uncle)). Maybe he also reaches the conclusion of still being a Silvermane Guard for the sake of protecting the people but not actively following the Supreme Guardian because he lost faith in her.

Sampo gains a home and (gasp) love (platonic, romantic, doesn't matter). He'll feel like he belongs somewhere, a permanent home. Not matter if he leaves the planet for a day or a year, he'll still be welcome. His reputation improves and his skill is used for the betterment of Belobog. His mask is allowed to slip, even just a little.

[marinsawakening]

WAIT KAITO AND SHINICHI ARE CONFIRMED COUSINS NOW?????

First: I'M WINNING

Second: My sincerest condolences to the kaishin shippers. I know this sounds sarcastic but it's actually not. Sincerely this must really suck and I can't even imagine what wars are being waged among the shippers right now.

Third: However pretending that this is some sudden nonsensical plot twist is just straight up denial I'm sorry but Kaito and Shinichi have been canonically confirmed to look like twins for years now. Kaito famously utilized this to sneak past security while disguised as Shinichi without needing to wear a mask. All he needed to do was ruffle his hair and boom not even Shinichi's best friends were able to tell them apart. It was hilarious. Anyway this wasn't some one-off either this has been a recurring piece of canon. Frankly it'd be way weirder if they just happened to look identical without being related, and the only reason that fan theory wasn't more popular was because of how awkward that'd make things for the kaishin shippers.

Fourth: Can we PLEASE talk about how funny this is oh my god the family dynamics. This is the single funniest family in the world I'm losing my MIND

[pixiedust-poppers]

If you would’ve told my younger self there were more Jizzy non-shippers now she would’ve been ecstatic and then promptly disappointed as to the reasonings of why lol.

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

"Why..."

The next Destiny Bond update,,, is currently in progress,,,🚶‍♀️

–> Check out the latest part here 🔷 –> New to the series? Follow from the start! 💜