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atherix0 · 2 years

Note

im finally reading the update because its lunch time and i have much to scream about and I will in fact be doing the screaming because AH

Starting this off with Scar and Mumbo being CUTE - please understand i am reading this in public and it is taking every fiber of my being now to squee and yell at everything going on oh my god? Mumbo's collection of Fae books? Mumbo and Scar vibing together at Night because Grian is asleep? AH

Also Tubbo being the bee that near [across from?] Mumbo's glyph is so cute just AH and the fact that mumbo, looking at the glyphs, is like "You know that pin ive been carrying around with me I should put it closer to my person somehow yes"

AND THEN CLEO MY BELOVED APPEARS ahhhhh love them. I mean hate the *news* they have oh my god but i love them. Also I am gonna fist fight the council in your story for everyone oh my GOD - this has the vibes of like, in mafia stories when they accidentally leave a paper trail and its like "ASDFGHJKHGFD YOU IDIOTS WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

Oh my god and Mumbo and Grian really chose the WORST time for to discuss Scar yall he's LEAVING I need you to STOP HIM or maybe o with him I havent decided which one's a better idea tbh though given that whole 'grians not a watcher yet' and 'a coven is only as strong as their leader *says the man who is threatening when he's laying on the ground, injured*" I think they'll be fine. Ya know. 👀👀between the Fae and the whole Diety Waiting To Be Awakened thing

GIVE HIM THE ENGAGEMENT GIFT. GIVE IT TO SCAR. G I V E I KNOW YOU GUYS WANNA WAIT FOR A GOOD TIME BUT THERE'S NEVER GONNA BE A GOOD TIME AT THIS RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE GIVE IT TO HIM BEFORE SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS THAAAAAANKS

Also grian calling Mumbo out about the bite scar? I have been WAITING oh my god Mumbo how the hell did you think no one noticed.

Ahhhh the mirroring happening in the market rn? Incredible. Its the same but its so different. AND SCAR IS SO SMART AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH also Mumbo Time Mumbo Time Mumbo Time Mumbo Ti-

OH MY GOD SCAR IS A FUCKING GENIUS I love this man. He is hot. Grian's right, and I'm a damn lesbian. Reading him taking on an entire coven by himslef is incredible??? Also the fact that Mumbo is just sat there *waiting* sir you are literally protecting your mate 'wait till a better time' my ASS.

OH BOY BOY BOY LETS GO mmm I love when Mumbo gets to fight frankly its great mm mm mm OHOHO grian. That touch of past there? I have a feeling im gonna need to throttle you whenever we get to THAT lmao. But also LOOK AT HIM ACTUALLY FIGHTING HAAAAAAAAAA

YES SOMEONE IS GETTING PULLED INTO THE BOATEM HOLE I HAVE BEEN *WAITING* its just such a good use of the boatem hole frankly FALL INTO THE VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOID. I havent even watched season 8. I do appreciate Grian's Gay Thoughts whenever Mumbo is fighting 10/10

im sorry grian WHAT are you remembering EXCUSE ME listen here if pearl is dead you are going to be getting some WORDS

Oh my god using the glyph is genius but also if i was scar i would ALSO be like "GRIAN WHAT ARE YOU DOOOOOOOOOING" also just like, obsessed with this vampire lesson occurring mid battle as Grian is just like "I'm gonna get the lord to blast this way and hope mumbo can get us out of the way" which i mean it WORKED but JESUS

OH BOY OH BOY OHO BOY GRIAN WHATCHA DOING THERE CHAMP

Scar now is not the time to ask what they're doing i swear. theres a lord DYING

The three of them having this conversation in a barrier bubble thing in an alleyway really is something. ALSO. MUMBO. MUMBO YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT. *MUMBO*. "Wait when did boatem get a coven" BABE YOURE THE ONLY VAMPIRE. PLEASE. WITH YOUR BRAIN.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS GETTING SO CLOSE I NEED THEM TO KISS I KNOW WHY THEY HAVENT BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and now i go back to writing my novel as if I didn't just treat myself for writing i havent even done yet lmao

hjfgsdjkghjfdgjkfd I hope you had a good day <3

JKFHSJKHFSJK I love them <3 When Grian is asleep who else to keep a Vampire company but the Elf who only sleeps like every five days <3 gfdjkgjkfdlf

Yess it's on the other side of Scar's wrist from Mumbo's rose <3 hjgkfk HAHA YEAH I'M SURE THAT'S NOT GONNA BE CONVENIENT SOON <3

CLEO <3 Cleo is beloved and I will fight for them, as soon as they found out just how much the Purists know they ran immediately to inform Scar <3 They care about that half-Elf <3 The Council is largely made of self-important dumbtrucks </3 There is a reason Mumbo has very little respect for them jfgdslfdsjh and they may or may not get told off BIG TIME for this <3

LMAO YEAH IKR Grian over here like "oh wow okay so this sounds like Scar's saying goodbye and tomorrow will be the last time I see him??" and then finally talking to Mumbo jhfsdjkghjds JHKFHSJKFHSKJLJDK ahahaha <3 Oh indeed :))

He thought he got off scotch free BUT NO MUMBO GRIAN SAW THAT HE KNOWS lmao <3 Scar might be oblivious but Grian can read you like an open book <3

YASSSSSS I fucking LOVE mirroring in fics <3 callbacks and bookends and just HJHJFHJS I'm feral for it fr Scar was like "yeah I know they know who I am I know how this is probably ending and this time I take no prisoners" and HJFSJKHGFVJKS all the traps <3 A little unhinge for the Elf man, a little reminder that this man is not fully Human pls <3 jkgfdklhjfkdlk ikr like-

I LOVE mumbo getting to fight <3 hehehehe crumbs of Grian history? Crumbs of Grian history <3 YAASSSSSSS them all showing off their fighting skills <3

YASSSSS from the moment I introduced the Boatem Hole to the fic I've been waiting to toss someone in <3 I loved season 8 so much Boatem my beloved <3 Grian has gay thoughts all the time but the moment Mumbo's claws come out and he gets to fighting they triple <3

:)))

Scar be like BIRDIE WHAT THE FU- Ahaha it was such a risky plan but he trusted Mumbo and Scar both so much <3 They were quick but stupid but see them dodge THIS when they have no helpful magic <3

HEHEHEE :)))

LMAO they're all full of bad timing <3

Grian agrees, how strange <3 they make quite a sight lmao LMAO YEAH THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT GRIAN AND SCAR WERE THINKING Mumbo never even considered for one second that he has a Coven now and you can bet he's not gonna stop thinking about it now because it answers so many question lmao <3

I PROMISE YOU WILL BE SATISFIED SOON <3 NOT SOON ENOUGH BUT <3

hahaha well now there's another fic to treat yourself with so <3

#Ask #Midnight Series #hermitshipping #mumscarian

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ellitx · 3 years

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It stuck out to me that Dain specified that "the gods descended and destroyed Khaenri'ah" cuz Barbatos and Morax were never in Celestia (I can't remember if Barbatos briefly went with Venessa but even then he was for what ten minutes lol) ANNNNND the only power we see in the destruction of it (in that one trailer) is the Sustainer's. I highly doubt the god of freedom (and love) and a god who knows when to let humanity do its own thing were even remotely part of that destruction- I'm quite sure the gods Dain spoke of were the Celestial gods, not the ones in Teyvat. And if you think about it, Khaenri'ah being destroyed could be why the majority of the Archons we know about oppose/don't care about Celestia

My guess is Dain is assuming all gods are the same, but they're very much not. Also, while I'm at it I wanna point out that ppl in game insist on calling Venti useless and lazy or even imply he's bad... meanwhile Baal is over there blocking off her entire region and taking away Visions and no one (in canon) says a single word against that. How is Venti always talked about like he's some huge problem when Baal and even Tsaritsa are right there being actual menaces (from what we understand so far)... it makes no sense. Ppl are so mean to Venti even if he's not around and for what... what has the god who's always fought for humanity's freedom and happiness done to hurt anyone I just do not understand, I cannot see Venti doing anything of what Dain said. That goes against his entire being...

Dain even contradicts himself multiple times and kept the fact he knows the sibling a secret... for what??? Why is he so sketchy?? Frankly I don't trust him, especially if this theory holds any merit

All this being said, if Venti is actually evil somehow I'll take it I love villains😅😂 But it could also be true that Khaenri'ah was not as great as Dain made it sound... coulda been evil or plotting smth terrible for all we know. He was cursed after all (if I'm understanding right), and literally no one else that we're aware of has been cursed. If Visions are divine blessings then curses are divine punishments... Visions are given to extraordinary ppl and/or those who have suffered greatly; they're given to help ppl. Curses tho... you gotta really fuck up to be cursed I assume.

Last thing before I'm done rambling I am so so sorry I just have a lot of thoughts about all this: in the chapter outline video Dain literally tells us to 'defeat him and command him to step aside' after saying "we (humanity) will defy this world with a power from beyond". Idk about anyone else but that kinda sounds like "sure I wanna destroy the world, but you can stop me". And isn't changing the world what Tsaritsa and the Fatui (and the Abyss Order??) are doing... Dain why are you against the gods who seemingly have the same goal as you

Okay I'm sorry that's so long but I'm done now BYE GIDHWHGEJFJE

-🌧 anon

I'm quite sure the gods Dain spoke of were the Celestial gods, not the ones in Teyvat. And if you think about it, Khaenri'ah being destroyed could be why the majority of the Archons we know about oppose/don't care about Celestia

Yep yep, as ive said before i havent thought the gods dain had mentioned can also be referred to the gods of celestia so it’s my fault for not understanding it well. And iirc venti isnt really fond of celestia which is why he gave his gnosis to the tsaritsa who is going against them

Also, while I'm at it I wanna point out that ppl in game insist on calling Venti useless and lazy or even imply he's bad...

Ppl are so mean to Venti even if he's not around and for what... what has the god who's always fought for humanity's freedom and happiness done to hurt anyone I just do not understand, I cannot see Venti doing anything of what Dain said. That goes against his entire being...

This really saddens me a lot that they view venti as an irresponsible archon when in fact he has done lots of things to keep his nation safe

Rebelling against the aristocracy to stop it during the time of Vennessa, waking up when he heard the cries of his people when Durin was attacking Mond, and even helping out in stopping Dvalin’s corruption

When they say Venti's "irresponsible" it's.. scary

He was given responsibility for the whole nation and was brave enough to accept it. He worked hard for years,sacrificed his power for people's freedom. He still risks his life regularly

source: @/Genshin_Kineli

Venti has more to it than meets the eye and it just needs a better understanding of him yet they keep looking on his current state. Like how often he goes to the tavern for a drink or laze around. Venti’s done lots of things okay T^T even during the Windblume, he helped us out in assisting his students from afar.

Dain literally tells us to 'defeat him and command him to step aside' after saying "we (humanity) will defy this world with a power from beyond". Idk about anyone else but that kinda sounds like "sure I wanna destroy the world, but you can stop me".

Now this is something that piqued my interest as i was reading theories in the subreddit.

In his outro, it seems that the Traveller will be forced to fight him in the future, to save the Traveller's Sibling--"Defeat me, command me to step aside, show me that you are worthier than I to rescue her.

Then, the threads of all fate will be yours to re-weave." It's unclear who the hero or the villain is in this situation. Is it Dainsleif, holding the Traveller's Sibling hostage? Or is it the Traveller's Sibling, who is about to set the world into ruin with Dainsleif wanting to stop them?

Only time will tell but if anything's for certain, things are not as black and white as it may seem.

source: u/hrcmstrbl

Dainsleif really be suspicious and acting mysterious. His dislikeness towards the gods is what got my interest so much. There must be a reason why he doesn’t like them. Even towards the archons of Teyvat, Dain doesn’t seem to be so fond of them and we can see that when were about to go the Favonius Church to ask Barbara

Anyways— my brain is still processing all of these informations and im just reading all the lores i can find LMAO for now i still have to rewatch all cutscenes then go back to these theories and continue to dig some more

#anon ask #🌧 anon #ellianswers #genshin lore

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clearlyshyobservation · 4 years

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Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)

TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough

i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)

(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)

(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).

USERNAMES:

(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)

TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst

Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG

Space Monkey: i-

Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-

Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him

Gremlin: yall mean for what?

Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i-

Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch

Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then

Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe

Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good

Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi

Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one

Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding

Gremlin: kay sexy

Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT

Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT

Antman: who was that for???

Gremlin: NO ONE,,,

Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey

Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet

Detective pikachu: i feel excluded

Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass

Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii

be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,

be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you

Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV

Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?

mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?

Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much.

Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one

Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind

Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4

Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!

Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(

Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies

Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.

Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything

Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch

Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :(

Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all

Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...

Antman: maybe i do need help?

Antman: im not sure anymore:((((

Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD

Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep

Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH

Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest.

Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??

Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive

Gremlin: your personality, basically?

Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend

Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy

Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe

Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT

Gremlin: Yeah yeah

Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while avoiding eye contact

Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?

Detective pikachu: you're nosy

Gremlin: says the literal detective

Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk

Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"

Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him

Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~

Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY

Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE

Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU

Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)

Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before

Bread roll: NO

Bread roll: BODY

Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D

Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta

Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)

Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS

Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE

Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT

Space monkey: I DONT

Gremlin: BUT GUESS WHAT

Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS

Detective pikachu: He smokes?

Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao

Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve

Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????

Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine

Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE

Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE

Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE

Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad

Gremlin: say that when you catch it again

Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho

Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years!

Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me

Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???

Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines

Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(

Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)

Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now

Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu

emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD

cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE

Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??

cum dumpster: i-

cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this

cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul

emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad

Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do

Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P

Bread roll has left the chat

Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???

Space monkey: now im nervous lmao

Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~

Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie

Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect

Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now

Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better

Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you

Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU

Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling

Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you

Gremlin: good <3

Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS

Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT

Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE

Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi

Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in that tet,

Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?

Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE

Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath

Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10

Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST

be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house

Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!

Space monkey: OKAY

Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this

Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE

Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer

Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???

Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty.

cum dumpster: oof thats new

emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it

Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.

be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...

emoboi: impossible.

cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.

Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS

Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help

Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P

Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!

Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN!

Detective pikachu: On it!

be-boop: Ready for look out!

Space monkey: I love you guys :)

AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it

#kokichiouma #oumota #Ougoku #chat fic #kaito momota #kiibo #miu iruma #gonta gokuhara #ryoma #angie #shuichi saihara #vr au #kirumi #maki harukawa #korekiyo #danganronpav3 #danganronpa #grossness

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legends-live-in-memories · 4 years

Text

I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin…

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion,

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing…

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

i don’t give a solid fuck.

Not one.

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically.

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss.

AND BOI is it a miss.

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story,

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because.

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing.

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time.

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?

#mlb #opinions my guy opinions #i dont wanna tag this as salt #but mlb criticisms and analyses #IHTMO #the hashtag for this series #thomas astruc #miraculous fandom #miraculous ladybug #miraculous: tales of ladybug and cat noir #yes the government name again #come get yall juice #miraculous

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greatandquestionablecontent · 3 years

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Here is a probably incomplete list of all my AUs, in no particular order. I don't expect anyone to keep track of these lmao it's just for fun if y'all were curious. Shit, theres a lot 😅

AU AU aka Pain Vampire AU: has either 70k words of content no one has ever read or an uncountable amount more than that which some people have read some of over the years! Depending on how you look at it :) Im actually going to start posting this now that it has a concrete plot. Theres a LOT to unpack in this one. Sure theres pain vampires but also a mirror universe and a mysterious magical council of semi-immortal beings and SO MUCH DRAMA. It has been simplified out of YEARS of very messy content so honestly it has a bunch of its own spin off AUs that I think about sometimes.

Conviction aka Jail AU: is being posted but I have more actual content written out. Somehow this became the main story that happens in my brain!!! Jail angst to domestic angst to domestic fluff. Found family.

Vampire Hunters AU: Im too lazy to look up word count but this is an ALMOST complete Denna/Ramsey one shot I havent posted. Actual Vampires with blood and holy water and everything!

Zombie Apocalypse AU: exists solely in my brain during commutes. Gavin and Trystan mutually rescue each other from a terrible group of humans, and face the world together. Eventually Denna joins their team. Actually a complete story with a hopeful ending!!!! Maybe I should write this some day.

Trains!verse aka This Was Canon For A Few Years Until I Started Focusing On Other Stuff More: lots of content here. Trystan and Jade roadtrip content! Constance can read minds but no one else can and it sucks for everyone! This story focuses heavily on Trystan's arc separating himself from Constance's bullshit. He ultimately kills her and has a small breakdown after it :) Gavin and Trystan have yet another slowburn friends to lovers thing except Gavin also has to deal with Trystan calling him on the phone like "hey let me tell you about this girl Im SOOO in love with."

Arranged Marriage/Courtesan AU: Gavin ends up in charge of a whole country. He keeps meaning to get rid of this dictator role he took over during the coup, but theres just so much to get done first! He marries a very sweet princess for political reasons (Ari!) but eventually he's just so lonely and overwhelmed, he goes to a brothel anonymously just to pay someone to listen to him talk about his feelings and read some poetry to him. Im sure yall have no idea who is working there undercover as an assassin with the ultimate goal of killing him... Also the tabloids are really concerned with whether Gavin's secretly gay or not, and it's a running gag. We actually unpack his repressed romantic feelings for his dead best friend (not Trystan!) This exists almost entirely in my brain but I've written a few words down. Does not have an ending.

Assassin AU: about halfway done. I want to post it as a short series but I have no idea how they get out of this situation. Modern setting, Trystan is tasked with assassinating Agoraphobic Apartment-dweller!Gavin but theyre already best friends. Trystan gets kind of obsessed with watching the videos of people who were interrogated about Gavin. He does end up telling Gavin, and Gavins like LETS WORK TOGETHER TO SOLVE THIS. And yknow, watches the videos and gets incredibly triggered. Very whumpy. If I only had an ending I could finish and post this.

#vincent-gavin: This is an RP with @straight-to-the-pain but it also counts as its own AU in my mind. Lots of torture. Gavin gets captured and interrogated as a rebel. Has a theoretical ending where eventually he survives and just has even more trauma than before :))) and there are some secrets that Trystan would like to take to the grave :))

Gay Bar AU: this is a posted one shot! It's complete! That's it. That's all there is. You can read it on AO3 if you're a grown up.

Guard Dog AU: okay this one is up here on tumblr and yet is also one of the weirder AUs imho. Gavin accidentally gets a trained human guard dog delivered to his door. Pet whump with your local violence furry. He's also got a history doing Investigations Shit with a kind of shady para-governmental organization which totally isnt the FBI. All of the characters are completely aware of how ridiculous the situation is but they still have feelings about it.

Uhhh I'm probably missing some others (and there are some gratuitous bullshit fics that don't need to be listed here!!!) but that's enough for now. You get the idea.

#meta and rambles #my writing

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snickiebear · 3 years

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yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you.

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them.

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are.

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD.

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL.

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A.

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH.

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about.

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay.

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time.

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps.

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing.

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.”

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic.

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

#silly things from silly friends

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marvxlousqueen · 5 years

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Warren Worthington- Dumbass

requested: Hey could you do a Warren x Reader where they don't get along (all that good angry flirtatious arguing energy) but they get stuck trapped somewhere when a mission goes wrong and he has a cut or something on his back and she has to like clean it or stitch it up or something but she keeps brushing her hands over his wings bc it's really close to them & he gets all ooh lala and then there's smut? Especially if it's all angry sexy time bc they don't like each other but then it's fluffy at the end?

A/N: hi so this is short but i have a lot of requests to do so pls bare w me :) ALSO this is bad bc i havent written in so long but itll get better (i hope ahha)

word count: 1000 exactly lmao

warnings: cussing, smut, choking if you squint, unprotected sex bc i’m too lazy to write in a condom

It took all of 30 seconds for the mission to go completely fucking sideways. They were supposed to be taking down an enemy plane, nice and easy, just like they had done in the past. But maybe... (Y/n) pushed a little too hard with the fire and accidentally caught Kurt’s tail on fire... and maybe Kurt panicked and bamfed out of there, leaving his station open.. which maybe left Warren unguarded while he was on look out... which maybe led to both (Y/n) and Warren to get captured while the rest of the crew barely got away. But she would never admit that.

“This is all your fault! If you hadn’t tried to take on three guys at once then you wouldn’t have blown up Kurt!”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes from her corner, “It was not three guys! It was only two and I did NOT blow up Kurt! He bailed on the mission so it’s not my fault!”

“Either way, I got shot with burning hot metal from your end and attacked by dudes from Kurt’s end so I’m gonna blame you.”

“Fine then.”

“Fine.”

They were currently sitting across from each other in a small cell on the enemy territory, waiting for the others to return and bust them out.

“Actually, by the way-” (Y/n) wasn’t about to lose this argument against Warren of all people. She couldn’t stand the guy- his cocky attitude or his huge ego. God he was annoying as fuck.

“Just shut up, (Y/n).”

“No! You can’t blame this on me-”

“Shut up! You’re giving me a headache.”

“Make me, asshole.”

He opened his eyes and looked towards her, “make you?”

“Unless you’re scared, Worthington.”

“Fine, princess,” He stood up and walked towards her side of the cell.

“I hate when you call me that, you know.”

He smirked, “Sure you do.”

Suddenly, he went in for a kiss, grabbing her hips and pulling her towards him. (Y/n)’s eyes went wide at first, but slowly she relaxed into it. He bit her bottom lip, asking her to open her mouth. As soon as she did, his tongue entered, exploring her mouth. His hands moved from her hips to her ass, grabbing it.

He pulled out of the kiss, “Are you okay with this?”

Out of breath, she only nodded, grabbing his hair and pulling him back in. Without a bed in the cell, he had nowhere to move towards except the wall. She felt her back come in contact with the cold brick while her hands moved to slide up his shirt, tracing over his muscles. Warren pulled away and struggled to get his shirt off and over his wings, during which (Y/n) slipped off her shirt and pants.

When he looked up again, she was just in her bra and underwear.

“Jesus Christ.”

“Nope, it’s just me.”

Warren rolled his eyes while (Y/n) held back her laughs. “God, shut up. That was terrible.”

(Y/n) quickly came back into focus as Warren started on his belt.

“Let me get that.”

She sunk to her knees, putting her clothes under her to make it more comfortable. Then her hands moved to unbuckle his belt and shimmy his pants down. Once they hit the floor, Warren let out a sigh of relief, no longer constrained against the tight material.

(Y/n) worked on palming him through his boxers. Warren’s voice got caught in his throat the second her hand slipped under the thin fabric and ghosted along him.

“F-fuck.”

She wrapped her hand around him and felt him grow harder in her grasp. (Y/n) used her thumb to spread the precum from his dripping tip and pump him a few times. Warren’s moans were like heaven.

“O-oh fuck-(Y/n)”

She finally pulled his boxers all the way down, taking his tip in her mouth, sucking hard on it.

“God-fuck” Warren pulled her off by her hair, “As-fuck- as much as I love that, I don’t want to finish too early. How about your turn?”

(Y/n) stood back up and pulled Warren in for another kiss while his fingers wondered down towards her pussy. He used her slick to wet his fingers before slipping one in. His lips moved to her neck as he added another finger, thrusting in faster now. (Y/n) wasn’t sure what to focus on- his lips sucking a hickey on her neck or his long fingers rubbing against her sweet spot.

“Warren-please”

He pulled his fingers out, sucking them clean, “please what?”

“You know what.”

He pushed her against the wall once again, “I want to hear you say it, princess.”

“Please fuck me.”

Warren lifted one of her legs up to his waist and swiped his tip over her entranced, lubing himself up with her natural juices. “You ready?”

She nodded and he pushed the tip in, “fuck,” they both said.

Warren let out a groan as he pushed all the way in, (Y/n) gasping when he was finally fully sheathed inside of her.

Warren pulled his hips back and pushed forward slowly, making (Y/n)’s nails scrape down his back, hitting his sensitive spot between his wings.

“Shit-”

Warren began to snap his hips back and forth, groaning in (Y/n)’s ear as she moaned in his. He gained speed as he pistoned in and out of her quicker and quicker.

“Jesus-fuck Warren-”

With her nails scratching in just the right spot and the clenching of her walls, Warren knew he couldn’t last much longer. He moved a hand to her throat and squeezed, making (Y/n) scream out.

After a few more thrusts Warren finished and dropped to his knees to finish off (Y/n). She came soon after, legs trembling as Warren’s tongue explored deep inside of her.

The two took a second to catch their breath before getting dressed again.

“so... can we do that again sometime?”

(Y/n) looked at Warren, eyes wide in shock after truly realizing what happened, “Fuck yes.”

taglist: @chocolatealmondmilkshake@thoughtlesspace@chxrrymoons@babebenhardy@rexorangecouny@cyndagoaway@killcomet@mcrmarvelloki@queen-turtle-boiii@hardlylo@ziggymay@onceuponadetectivedemigod @ixchel-9275@queen-baelin @radiob-l-a-hblah@kurt-nightcrawler@kellypenac@disaster-rose

hmu to be added!

#Warren Worthington #Warren Worthington III #warren worthington iii smut #warren worthington imagine #warren worthington x reader #ben hardy #ben hardy smut #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #x men apocalypse

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krypteretnetwork · 3 years

Text

Camp NanoWrimo April 2021: Day 26

Word count: 1338 (26014 total)

As Alleos sat at the all too familiar desk, her left hand rested on the keyboard and her right hand rested on the computer mouse, she couldn’t help but stare blankly at her three monitors before sighing heavily. In the matte, sleeping screens of the monitors, she saw the very vague, blurry image of her reflection. To no surprise, she looked exhausted, of course, being the creature of sleeplessness that she was. However, she felt so… dead inside with all that had happened, and naturally, she even looked the part.

Leaning back in her computer chair once more, she reclined it as she just blankly stared up at the ceiling of her room. She hated this oh so very, very much. While she was aware that this would allegedly happen only one more time, she felt defeated. She knew Norway hadn’t been lying when he said that the cycle was in its last loop, but that didn’t change how awful she felt about the entire situation. She could tell that he, too, felt terrible about it. He knew something was up, and she could tell. Yet, whenever she’d asked him about it, he always gave the same answer: he did in fact know more than he was letting on- because for whatever reason, he couldn’t tell her more. To her, it all sounded like bullshit. What reason did she have to believe him?

The more and more she thought, the more and more frustrated she found herself getting. Of course, how she was feeling was justified, and Norway appeared to acknowledge that. Hell, if anything he seemed frustrated that he couldn’t just tell Alleos what was going on. But still- it only upset the micronation even further.

Sitting back up in her chair, Alleos found herself in the same position, staring blankly into the monitors. Norway said that she was safe here; she could spend as much time as she needed to to regain her composure and to just play off what had been going on. However, she was finding it really hard to play off what had been happening… naturally.

~~~

For the last few days, Iceland just had a… bad feeling. He couldn’t quite tell what it was. Come to think of it, Alleos hadn’t been bugging him as of late… as annoyed as he typically got with her, and as much as he would sometimes wish she would go away, she never had any sort of malicious intent towards him.

Although he hesitated, he reached for his phone. With even more hesitation, he opened up the messenger app and began to type out a message to her. And, with a hand trembling vaguely (and after even further hesitation), he pressed send.

[SMS: Alleos] uhh, hey… is everything alright?

[SMS: Alleos] you havent been bugging me or any of the others, so uh i figured i should just check in

Tossing his phone to the side with red cheeks, he turned away as he waited rather anxiously for a reply back.

Hearing the notifications come through on her end made Alleos snap out of her thoughts. Breathing a heavy sigh, Alleos picked up her phone and read the messages. Scrolling up, she decided to review how she would normally message Iceland just one more time. It seemed as though she was the one to text first, and that he would normally ghost her to a certain degree… then she would bug him all over again.

Quickly, she began to reply, as she appeared to have always done.

[SMS: Iceland] well look who’s texting me first lol

[SMS: Iceland] yeah i’m ok!

Next, was to think of an excuse. Not that it was hard to think of one, though.

[SMS: Iceland] just the usual, testing and going through things -

[SMS: Iceland] getting caught up in other things that are completely unrelated…

[SMS: Iceland] the usual, y’know? ^^

Upon receiving notification after notification, Iceland let out a deep breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Considering she’d bombarded him with messages like she always would, he could at least only assume that she was alright.

And so, upon actually reading the messages, he let out another heavy sigh of relief.

[SMS: Alleos] oh thank goodness

[SMS: Alleos] well… yeah i was worried

[SMS: Iceland] don’t tell me…

[SMS: Iceland] you were worried for me?!

[SMS: Iceland] if anything i should be the one asking if you’re alright

[SMS: Iceland] this is very much unlike you

[SMS: Iceland] should i send over big bro? lmao

Feeling his face flush an even brighter shade of red, he felt his hands begin to tremble once again with the familiar anger she never failed to make him feel. His heart began to race, and he could have sworn that he felt a bead of sweat dribble down the side of his face.

[SMS: Alleos] god NO

[SMS: Alleos] i was just checking in on you and now i am going to go off and do my own thing. goodbye

Pretty much slamming down his phone, Iceland got up and stepped outside. Taking a few deep breaths, he began to think a little bit. He found it quite odd that she seemed to be doing quite well from his recent… explosion on her, however he wouldn’t question it.

…

“Why do you like to drag me out to your stupid little shenanigans?” Iceland snapped, still stuck trying to tug his hand out of the micronation’s grasp.

“Because you don’t really ever get out, minus meetings. You need to do more than just exist in the world, you know. Live a little!” she said, tugging him along. “You agreed, remember? We’ve only been out for less than an hour…”

“At least an hour…! When can we go back?!” Frustration was very evident in his voice as he continued to snap at his sister. His snapping, however, only irritated her even further.

“God…” she muttered through gritted teeth. “Why do you do this every fucking time we go out?! Why can’t you just exist a little more? Let loose, or something. This gets old really fast, you know.” Subconsciously, she squeezed his hand rather tightly in frustration.

Iceland grimaced a bit. “That hurts, knock that off!” He, too, found himself getting a little bit physically aggressive with her. He pressed himself against her with force that surprised both of them. “You can be so pushy, sometimes even worse than Dane…! How on earth does big bro even put up with your shit?” That last question caught Alleos off guard. Noticing this, Iceland pressed on. “More importantly, why does he even put up with you? Why do the rest even bother? I don’t get it… you weren’t even one of us to begin with, you know. In a way, you’re just like Estonia, and you know how we feel about him.”

Alleos was hurt, to put it one way. The look on her face was enough to snap the boy back into reality. With wide eyes, he gasped and covered his mouth, backing off.

“A-Alleos, I…”

…

Or at least, he would do his damn best to not question it- considering how vividly it would replay in his mind whenever he even vaguely thought of it. While having received such prompt responses from her made him feel relief, he still felt as though something was very, very wrong with her. However when he had asked Norway, even he would tell him that everything was alright.

Shaking his head, he jolted himself out of his thoughts. Bringing his hands up to his face, he patted his cheeks several times.

“Everything is alright, you… she’s okay…”

Then, that familiar sinking feeling hit him once more.

“Is she really…?”

Moving one of his hands to tap on his chin, he began to think. As he thought, his cheeks began to flush a little bit once more.

“M-maybe I’ll visit… I’m sure she would appreciate it, plus I just… really need to make sure she’s alright. I need to see for myself.”

#BACK ON TRACK W THE WORD PAR BABYYYYY #nw apr 2021 #verse: norwegian

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savnofilter · 5 years

Text

okay so im just gonna my tingz and whatever since people can believe what theyd like.

whoop its more drama. 😅

so if you hadnt already seen it, great if you havent great. ahh im literally shaking oops but this is serious so i'll only what i have to say, and she blocked and deleted all my apologies and explanations.

i wasnt going to post anything because i replied and had said my words and left it at, if you dont want to like me thats fine, i'll live.

i one, would like to say that she even removed it so like rip me. uhhh i would make a video really to talk it because im bad at words and me typing it makes it worse ahahah.

essentially it was just a bunch of screenshots of me being mean so yeah that was it. er um wooph this is too much for me, the only account i can properly say was that i can say i was harsh was that christmas thing with someone who i havent spoken with in months and its that i said i hate people who celebrate it mad early. and yeah i can harsh because ive already explained that sometimes im blunt about it and when im in a bad mood i dont care.

on the other accounts let me say which i dont remember cause she had all the screenshots and i deleted all the chats because it was turning my already sour mood, even more sour.

so she said i didnt greet her properly which i even talked to you once before so idek what she was trying to get at there. 😅 ahh i asked who she was because i had been having on and off issues with a writer and that was already in the server. she suddenly added her to the discord after it being open for many months so naturally that added suspicion and i also have a great deal of knowing when something was up so yuh... call my instincts right cause it was in the messages that were sent to me. 😅

ahhh (ignore my many ah's when i get anxious it just happens ahahah) but those were taken out of context and like were set up to make me look bad. and even just in the whole post, the whole reason why they talked to me was to venge for something to bring me down LMAO.

just like before ive cooled down tremendously so im done from my mental breakdown to properly say this:

1) i didnt know it was even a slur. i just thought it meant dumb and it was only yesterday i had found out that it was bad.

now i'll say this again because people like being on this sav hate train to even read my words LMAO, im sorry for the words i said.

literally the person that i used it on doesnt even fucking like me so the fact thatd they were rude to me and then get shocked that im rude. i even said that day i had not been fine, i was not well. and if you got your secret santa friend you could also get screenshots saying that i said at the point in time i did not care what i said to people because i was planning on killing myself so i didnt care what i was going to say because you know id be dead.

2) may i say again, i had suspicions of other party friend talking about me because she even messaged me on many times and even brought up one situation that i took piss poor shit in handling. 😂

and may i mention she (christmas person) left because she didnt speak up about other issues that couldve been talked out with and decided to leave.

not only that i thought we were talking about our opinions on celebrating christmas so stop trying to feed word into me mouth m8.

AND ALSO, YOU KEEP SAYING THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS LIKE THAT WASNT EVEN THE THING. 😂

and also the conversation had lack of communication so everything was jumbled up, and i didnt even know she was actually leaving the server i thought she was going "tata" for a bit and i was going to talk to her, i eventually did but we do not speak anymore.

3) the main reason why she spoke to me was to basically catch me red handed LMAO. and she got what she wanted. 👏🏽i literally had people message me, asking why she was even asking for peoples ages.

one how do you even know i was referencing you?! i... but anyways... again you want to make me out to be a bad person lmao. i have bad moments just like everybody else. but because i like to be nice and uplift people i cant make mistakes? like what flawed logic is that?

how am i supposed to grow if i dont make mistakes and learn from them. it woudve been a whole different story if i used it multiple times and didnt give a fuck. and no, its not every day that im a "dumb fucking cunt" to people.

4) you legit deleted my responses and apologies. 😂 and people are just jumping on this and dont even

know me.

ever talked to me.

not even in the server.

so now the "brought to tumblr" again i was just sharing my damn sadness dude. your call-out post makes no sense. trying to make it sound like im out here trying to ruin peoples days is not even close to the truth... i myself hate making people feel bad about themselves.

im not some sociopath, and youre mad because i was bummed i realized that someone that i thought was amazing doesnt like me??? like youre telling me that you snapping at me everytime we talked im just supposed to take it? i just...

and ive said it on my blog, im not in the best place. youre gonna get me off on my off days. i even said that me even interacting is not even a good idea but i choose to make the conscious decision to even talk to people just makes me feel even worse because someone was mean to me first.

you cant take me being my worst and saying its my fucking whole. you dont care about me wanting to "fIx My WaYs" you just want to fucking embarrass me and have people hate me.

if youre trying to show character, youre doing a terrible job at it.

i tried adding you as a friend to even talk to you but you had even BLOCKED ME on discord. you dont care. at all. stop pretending youre some knight, if all i was even trying to talk it out to you and youre response is "youre mean you suck" like what the fuck...

you and your friends and your followers my "followers" who havent asked for my side just show how much you guys really want to pUrIfY this erotica for anime community,,

and also you were a massive prick to my friend because she was sharing her own thoughts so i dont even know why youre trying to act like youre an angel. unless you can tell me that you have never been wrong, i will just crucify myself on the cross and apologize to jesus for being such a sinner.

the more i type, the more i get spiteful so i will stop myself here. have a wonderful night/day/whenever you see it dude or never see it cause you blocked me lol.

EDIT: also i never even hinted that it was you so it just confirms this was only for malicious purposes... and i now just feel like you made it because you feel like i shouldnt have feelings either.

apologies if its all over the place, i wrote this in a state of panic to a slow burn of being mellowing out.

#will i regret responding?#yes #do i care?#no.#because if you wanna believe something off the bat because you catch someone at their worst says a lot.#more than me having nasry disputes with people on the internet lol.#as ive said #if youre trying to @ me i cannot see the post at all so i am sorry if i am not responding.

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tynct · 5 years

Text

Seeker

masterlist

»summary: maybe flying straight into your crush in the middle of a quidditch match isn’t the smartest idea

»genre: hogwarts!au

»words: 1258

»a/n: im so excited to post this lmao i havent read/watched the movies or books in a while im sorry if anything isnt correct hhh if you want to request an nct hogwarts au pls go ahead theyre fun to make!

You’re well aware of the eyes on you from below; you can feel the icy stares of the Slytherin team from all the way from up here. They had booked the field after you, and you don’t need to glance at the clock to know that they’re early.

“I hate when their practice is right after ours,” Chenle mutters when he pulls his broom next to yours, but sends down a friendly wave which nobody returns. “See? They can’t even be nice to the competition.”

You groan at the reminder of the quidditch match tomorrow, Hufflepuff vs Slytherin, the team with the best Seeker in all of the school, who just so happens to be Jeno, their extremely overly punctual captain.

“I bet you’re excited by that,” The knowing grin on Chenle’s face makes you hmp in annoyance.

“Before you even say it, I do not like Jeno.”

“We all know that’s a lie!” Renjun shouts as he zooms by, nearly sending both of you off you brooms and you grab onto the handles to keep from falling.

“Watch where you’re going!” Chenle disappears to chase after him, leaving you to overthink once again. You had been worried about the match before Jeno had appeared on the edge of the field, but now all you can do is stare at him from the corner of your eye.

Maybe, just maybe, you do like him. It was a stupid crush you’ve been trying to stomp down since the first year you had met him, but no matter how hard you tried, nothing stops the fluttering feeling you’d get in you chest when he was around. You even resorted to taking one of Renjuns funky potions, and all that had done was make your tongue purple for a month.

You remember the moment you had seen him on the train, and you had gathered up all the courage you had and walked into his cart. The first thing you had done was reach out and shake his hand, and it had been enough to win him over and share the bag of treats he had bought from the trolly going around.

But then everything changed when you two had been sorted into different houses, and then suddenly, he wasn’t the sweet person you had met on the train. He was the definition of a Slytherin, along with all the bad stereotypes people had about the house. It was a complete 360 of his character, and you never talked besides during the few times you were sat next to each other in class.

The next day comes quicker than you had noticed, and you take a moment to breathe as you take off into the sky. You’ve never felt this nervous before, besides when it was your first day as captain, and you know exactly why your stomach is in knots; you had spotted Jeno on the way over to the field, and you try not to think too much of how you had tripped when he met your gaze. It had been embarrassing enough without Chenle and Renjun howling by your side.

The whistle of the referee rips you out of your thoughts, and you immediately take off towards the Slytherin who had grabbed the Quaffle. She weaves past your teammates as they try and snatch the ball, and just when you’re within reach, she dives straight down and you winces when you nearly loses your balance.

The relief of not slipping into the air within the first minute of the match doesn’t last long, because you fly straight into another player, and then the world goes black as you’re ripped away from your broom.

After playing quidditch for so long, you know when you wakes up in the infirmary after breaking something. You sit up slowly, and if you felt this terrible after being healed, you can’t imagine how bad of a fall it had been during the game. It makes you wonder what happened to the other person as you glances around the room, vision still blurry as you swings you legs over the bed. The dull pain that goes up your ankle has you wincing, and you pause from reaching down to rub the joint when you notices Jeno on the cot beside you.

He’s unconscious, and you realize with a start that he must’ve been the one you had ran into. You grab at your hair in a panic, nervously looking around to see if anyone would notice you bolting before he woke up. You doesn’t want to stick around once Jeno awakens, because if he remember that you had put him in here- a shiver goes up your spine at the thought, and you’d very much rather not have your bones broken again, thank you very much.

“Y/n..?”

Your heart drops at the sound of his voice, your grip on the railing tightening to prepare yourself for his rath, but when he turn to you, you freeze. He’s staring at you with the softest look in his eyes you’ve seen since you met him, and you barely have a moment to process it before it disappears, and the rage you had been so afraid of makes an appearance as his brows come together angrily.

“What are you, a rookie?” he rasp. “I cannot believe you did that.”

“Right, about that-”

“And I can’t believe I caught you after you flew into me!”

You perks at his words. “Sorry, what?”

The sour look he shoot at him doesn’t phase you in the slightest, and he huff as he cross his arms. “You knocked yourself out, so I caught you, but because you’re so heavy, I fell off my broom too, and guess what? You landed on top of me, and I broke my wrist.”

“You caught me? Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

You, stupidly, hope for a confession, because why else would he save you from breaking your neck? Especially after nearly slamming him off his broom as well.

“I didn’t want you to die before I beat your ass in quidditch,” he says, and your heart falls.

“Oh,” You swallows the disappointment, ready to lay back and wrap yourself in the blanket in shame when he speak up again.

“...And, I don’t know, I just felt this urge to save you? You were nice to me on the train, and I couldn’t just let you, uh, fall? I also sort of like you, so there’s that-” Jeno gapes as he slaps a hand over his mouth, your expressions matching as he sputter to come up with an excuse. “Not in that way! I-I mean, maybe? I must’ve hit my head harder than I thought, I’m going to go get the nurse-”

“I like you too!” You blurt out loudly, the other patients in the infirmary glancing your way and you laugh nervously as you duck down. It makes Jeno pause from standing, and you gulp when he rounds the bed, holding your gaze until he sits beside you and you rips your eyes to the ground.

You nearly jumps out of your skin when he reaches out and takes your hand, and before either of you can say anything, a shriek makes you both flinch. Chenle is shaking Renjun as he points your way, his voice echoing as he cries, “Y/n finally confessed! I never thought I’d see the day!”

“‘Finally confess’, huh?” Jeno grins smugly, but he gives himself away when he blushes all the way from his hairline to his neck.

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fmdjoosungarchive · 3 years

Photo

【✧】━━━ ♥ q u e e r n e s s a e s t h e t i c ♥ ━━━【✧】

aesthetics, at their best, imo, are when you can feel the emosh behind them bc of how theyre made. so i don’t wanna describe it too much n like,, overexplain n plant ideas in ur heads but this is kind of a visual representation of how i think of sung’s current relationship w his queerness

love vs queerness

word count: 512ish

warnings: i talk abt homophobia

tldr; idk man

i watched a video essay of the appeal of toxicity to queer people and it got me thinking about how i havent fully explored this in relation to sung

since soon after his inception, i figured out that sung has the capability to accept love from wherever it comes, and whatever form that looks like

no matter how terribly he is treated by someone, he will do his best to try to forgive them and move on if they simply apologize and show they want to move on too

because of that apology, he’s also likely to make excuses if the agreed upon ‘moving on’ isn’t actually happening. if a person reverts to old patterns of how they treat him, he’ll think it’s a blip, or that because it was good at another point, it will get there again, or they’re just not feeling well, or anything else

what it comes to most is that he will accept the love in any form, because not accepting it would mean he would be alone

this doesn’t apply only to romantic situations, as i thought more platonically in the above points, but it perhaps has the worst effects in romance

the video brought up houseboys within the realm of queerness and how, for many, taking on this life was the only way young queer people could feel safe and loved, when they werent always safe nor loved

sung lives in a country that quiets queerness, at its best. if you are queer, keep it to the shadows. he also comes from a family that feels similarly

i don’t like giving the impression that sung’s parents are “bad” ppl and getting into my distaste of that could be its own whole hc, SO i say these things from the pov that sung’s parents are just people, who think theyre doing whats best for sung

however, sung is isolated in his family. his sister in law supports his queerness, but even then, she isnt queer. she cant fully Get it. he seeks out people who will understand because they are like him. and he’ll grab onto that, cling, pull it to himself, and try his best not to let go

he’ll lay himself on the line for anyone giving him the love and affection he feels he lacks no matter what that love and affection is

eye mean, he shacked up w his ex bc they slept tgt once,,,, broke his ‘rule’ abt waiting til marriage bc they made out once,,,, kissed the dude because he gave a little compliment

but the funny thing abt this is that sung doesn’t like toxicity in fictional relationships. he’s not drawn to them like many queer people are

ig you could call it his optimism, glass half full mentality, but he’s more of the ‘i can fix him’ type lol

probably the closest he gets are redemption type arcs. he can get behind those. but when he’s experiencing fictional relationships, queer or not, he’s more one of those ‘i suffer enough day to day i just want wholesomeness’ types

i cant relate lmao

---------------------------------------------

word count: 402

tldr; two + one prompt: at the expense of loneliness

“it’s okay. i forgive you.”

the small lifts on the edges of his lips didn’t match the face in front of him. complex, he’d call it. within there, happiness, relief, might have made up a slice, but overall, it read of anguish. he wondered if he’d said something wrong --or done? was his hand on his shoulder too much? sung removed his hand, furrowed his brow, but the face across from him didn’t change.

sung felt he could hear his heartbeat blasting in his ears. fear overtook what gentle energy he’d held before, changed all subjects in his brain to, “are you okay?”

“-hey, i’m sorry.”

the warmth of the arms coming to surround him made the muscles in sung’s face loosen, relax back into their natural form. sung didn’t like being upset. anger, of all emotions, drained sung beyond any other.

his arms circled too, enveloping the pair around him, adding another layer of warmth. his head leaned back over a shoulder, and his breathing evened out to a slow rhythm, lifting and dropping their arms in every round.

sung wondered, at times, what purpose anger served. sadness, while exhausting, left a sense of relief, once he’d outpoured the initial wave. anger never had that. -he always stopped himself before he got too far into that thought. all feelings were important; he could at least believe that on principle.

his voice came out worn when he replied, “let’s just move on?”

the breath’s intake was sharp, but the release let go of more than air. it needed time. “i understand.”

his hand reached towards sung’s, the ever so slight lift of lips across from him making it all the more difficult to follow through when he pulled his own hand back towards himself. “i’m- i’m not- everything isn’t just okay.”

amazing that a heart could be breaking, for so many different reasons. one edge mourning a loss, the other mourning the idea of loss. head versus heart wasn’t the issue here. heart and heart desired two things at once. forgive, accept, scrounge together what pieces he could to miminize loss. reject, shove him away, and risk losing what made days feel like they were worth getting up in the morning for.

aching to reach his hand out and grasp the one in front of him with all his might... sung had to resist. “i need change. it can’t be the same.”

---------------------------------------------

pwaywist (im lazy n dont wanna copy paste, cancel me next week)

i wanna highlight sum songs from queer artists that i think sung would like. we all kno he likes troye so i’m leaving them Out. i should have yubin or t swift on here but im attempting to b in my unproblematic era < 3

1 coconuts by kim petras

i watch a lot of asmr and coconuts is a common trigger word ppl use n i dont get tingles but every time i hear it i start singing coconuts n half of that time i think abt how sung (& jhwa but thats neither here nor there) would like it. like sure he doesnt have his own set of coconuts to Really vibe on the song but it’s the kind of track sung hears n is like damn wish i wrote dat it slaps

2 boys don’t cry by anitta

sung probably is too judgmental to like anitta as a person but as an artist, blast it up baybee

3 on the floor by perfume genius

i think sung has a crush ngl lol as a person but also an artist? sung loves how experimental they r and feels Inspo for their own music

4 bad friend by rina sawayama

honestly feel like rina is everything sung wants in a music artist sonically, which is hard to achieve, the bitch’s music taste is so eclectic

5 slide away by miley cyrus

yes this is an excuse for me to talk abt how andy as miley au is sick as SHIT but also feel like sung could become a miley fan in more recent years. also a hannah stan,,, someone introduce him

6 tanto faz by urias

this playlist is like 90% my own interests lbr idek if sung would have heard these songs i just think he would like them if he did ! and urias has the biggest it factor shes such a star, so ofc sung would luv dat, but i also think tanto faz is the song most in his wheelhouse of hers

7 dance with me by beabadoobee

bea’s stripped back vulnerable songs remind me so much of sung’s brain lmao rmr when i made a whole ass backstory for his childhood crushes bc of one beabadoobee song,, fitting

sung vs sexuality

word count: 438

tldr; i lied i am gonna overexplain. ive come back to add this in bc i dont think it should b in its own post. so this is where sung’s at with his sexuality these days

sung Is gay, but he doesnt think of himself as gay

at this point, i’m not sure if he will ever come to that conclusion, which i think is Fine. some may not agree with me, but i think that if he isnt actively harming himself by avoiding his desires, then it’s fine

and he isn’t!

but the way he thinks of it is like.. this isnt happening lol

he’s been hooking up w guys as of late n glosses over it, bc his overall thoughts on his sexuality atm are that ryoma was an outlier

he thinks he’s straight with the capability to love a very specific man

at best, he would have times he thinks he likes men and women, being bi without the label because i am Not Sure if he knows the label

idt in his whore phase he’s propositioned women, probably for a few different reasons. first, he’s gay. second, that’s not a boundary he’s crossed before, while this other boundary is Very broken, and that’s a little scary as well as one thing he can hold onto re: faith. third, he doesnt want the women around him to feel like he’s being like other men in their life, and feed into the idea that one day all the men in their lives will want sex. fourth, his hurt is over a man and in his subconscious way, is asking to continue to be hurt by other men because he feels lost without that one man around to love Or hurt him

but outside of the explicit canon, how i think of his journey with sexuality atm has a softness to it

if we take away the negative parts of his journey thus far, i think of it like a cracked door

the light is shining through, and you can look at the other side, see what’s awaiting if you’d just step through

a lot of the motifs that struck me in the og aesthetic were things along that line

flowers growing where they shouldn’t, a literal cracked door, blue, a color associated with a masculinity that sung has always struggled to fit into the box of being washed off, dipping a finger in water, testing it, making a ripple but not a wave, blindfolded from a beautiful creature a breath away, being caged by something paper thin

he’s on the precipice. like standing at the edge of a cliff, ready to jump to a warm, welcoming sea below

i don’t know if he’ll jump, if he’ll walk back, if he’ll sit there for a while, but i feel him on the edge

#ive decided to start writing hcs like i do if im just dming a mun bc i like being unhinged #not jaewon making two (2) npc mentions here wow jaesung still reigning #aesthetic #self para #tunes

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punkcherries · 7 years

Text

get ready to rrrrrumble

jesus christ this is a long ass submission so uh puts it in a read more also puts my txt in bold so its easier to read 👍

Right, so I’ve just read everything that happened in the last few asks you got and I’m just gonna sit down and tell you this right now. You better strap the fuck in because this is long and if you’re not gonna read it, shame on you, because all of this is specifically about YOU and the problems people have with you (the people Blu mentioned). First off, I’m not Blu, so don’t go and start calling him names in your server because you’re finally, FINALLY, being called out on all the bullshit you do. I used to be your friend, I left on semi-good terms, and this entire thing is going to explain WHY I left + why you need to square the fuck up.

sounds like fun whoever u are

You need to get your shit together and seriously change yourself, but of course you’re not gonna do that, because you’re an incompetent piece of shit who has your head so far up your ass you can’t see all the things you do wrong. You act like you’re the person who suffers the most, and that anytime anyone is rude to you it’s THEIR fault, not the fact that you did something terrible to someone or that you started some drama. I’ve been fed up with this shit for months, and have been hesitant to say anything directly to your face, because you don’t even know me that well and we hardly talked. We did interact a few times, but those few times were absolute hell to me, because I must have literally retracted some kind of disease just from being near you. You are the fucking EMBODIMENT of tumblrina, and it’s so fucking sad because you weren’t like this before (based on what a few others have told me).

the use of tumblrina here is jus makin me laugh ur a funny guy buddy but i feel like my past self is worse thn my current self like past me participated in cringe culture so like ew

The way you talk? Absolutely fucking horrid. Sit the fuck up and talk like a normal goddamn human being. I’m here to talk to you, not to decipher some 57 commas and abhorrid shortening of words. Jesus fucking Christ Sombre, I can understand Internet slang and cutting some words up, but you fucking butcher the English language so bad it literally sounds like a toddler having a stroke while mashing at their keyboard. It’s “that” not “tht”, it’s “thing” not “thng”, it’s “something” not “smth”, and for GOD FUCKING SAKES IT’S “THE” NOT “TH”. ARE YOU LITERALLY SO FUCKING LAZY THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN TYPE “THE”, A THREE LETTER WORD. I don’t give a shit if you’re talking like this to sound like an anxious uwu tumblr piece of SHIT, it sounds fucking IDIOTIC and it’s an ABSO-FUCKING-LUTE PAIN TO READ.

language is fake and is mostly just sounds we give meaning, im very sorry if you have trouble reading the way i type and id be more than happy to try and not speak to you like i usually do to everyone else if you just asked politely and talked it out with me (tho the idiotic part is accurate im not very smart lmao)

SPEAKING OF YOUR TUMBLR, LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR UPSET.TXT TAG. If you think anyone is gonna pity you, SPOILER ALERT! THEY’RE FUCKING NOT. Unless they’re your shitty “friends”, NOBODY fucking gives a shit, alrighty? Speaking from my perspective and a few others, nobody’s gonna see this venting on their dashboard and give two shits. Unless they’re your mutuals, they won’t care and it just leaves a bad impression. It’s pathetic how when ANYTHING negative happens to you, you decide to take to Tumblr to boo hoo crypost about it. You wanna vent? You wanna cry yourself to sleep? Cool, talk about it on your server, NOT FUCKING TUMBLR, WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEE IT. This is just like how Facebook used to be, you see these posts of people posting personal shit and getting bit in the ass for it later, YEAH WELL THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW BUDDY. DON’T LIKE IT? DON’T FUCKING VENT ON TUMBLR.

i rarely vent on here dude like?? do you see the time gaps between the posts in my vent tag? its also my blog so i can post whatever i like as long as im not hurting anyone yo, plus the point of venting for me at least isnt to like get attention or sympathy its to let off some steam not to mention most to all of my vent posts are vague as hell so like…. why do you even care though?? if i get bit in the ass then thats my problem not yours

Right, so let’s talk about your “im gay” tag too! You identify as male, correct? That’s cool! Congrats. But you’re not gay if you clearly show an interest in girls. Doesn’t matter if they’re fictional or not. Your “im gay” tag is filled with girls (Bismuth, some anime girl, pinup girls). NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE! You’re male, those are females! Opposite genders! That means you’re NOT GAY! WOAAAAAH! So who are you to be reblogging and posting all this shit about how hetero people are the devil, hetero people are the worst wah wah, when you yourself identify as a guy and clearly seem to be interested in girls, even if just a little?

dude i used to identify as nonbinary i only recently started identifying as male, hell i used to identify as female ages back so like? the posts in that tag are most to all old and i do realize my attraction to girls isnt gay, hence why ive only been referring to my attraction to dudes as me being gay post-male identification i guess

Speaking of all the heterophobic shit you reblog, have you not considered it could make some of your followers feel absolutely terrible? I’m bi myself, I like both guys and girls, but holy FUCK when I see that shit on your blog it makes me feel guilty for liking guys at all! Is that how you want people to feel? Whether they’re pan, bi, or straight, that shit’s literally so fucking damaging and it sure as hell hurts to see! And don’t throw that “some of those posts are jokes” bullshit at me, because guess the fuck what! They may be jokes to people who aren’t hetero, but they sure as hell don’t seem like jokes to those who are! How would you feel if I made a joke that was even SLIGHTLY negative towards homosexuals? Wait, no, don’t answer that, because I already know how you’d feel. You’d get pissy, you’d stomp your little baby feet over to Tumblr, and then crypost about it, saying you’re facing homophobia and being harassed blah blah blah.

HETEROPHOBIC IM LAUGHING…. buddy…. pal…. heterophobia is fake and im very sorry if those post make you feel bad as a bisexual person (im also bi so) but heterophobia isnt actually a thing, comparing jokes directed at straight people to lgbtphobia is inherently lgbtphobic as it compares little jokes most to all directed at bigoted/ignorant straights to something that can often result in the actual literal death of hundreds of people for their gender/orientation- that doesnt happen to straight people dude

Also: you don’t have autism. Were you officially diagnosed? Because I’m gonna be real fuckin’ honest, it doesn’t sound like you have autism. You sure have something, hoh yeah, but it’s sure as hell not autism. You put your “autism” up on a pedestal and act like it’s one of the only things about you, like no hunty, your mental illness doesn’t define you. Nobody gives a shit, okay? Your mental illness isn’t an excuse to act like a literal fuckface, it’s not an excuse to treat people like shit, and it sure as hell isn’t an excuse to blame everything on others and make yourself out to be the good guy because “my autism made me anxious or forget things ;w;”. This is the exact kind of tumblrina thing I’m talking about, people on this goddamn website act like their mental illness is the only quality about them and that not being neurotypical makes them special. NEWS-FUCKIN-FLASH, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. You don’t see me using my mental illness as an excuse for my actions, because I actually step the fuck up and take responsibility for shit I’ve caused. My mental illness does not define me. There’s more to me than that. You need to realize that your fake-ass autism isn’t an excuse for you to be a fucking asshole to the people around you, and that your actions do have consequences. Stop blaming others for shit you’ve caused, stop calling people jackasses when it’s YOU who’s insulting people and twisting the truth, and for the love of God tell your white knights of friends to shut the FUCK up if they don’t know all the details of a situation.

i was technically diagnosed albeit in a nontraditional fashion (a psych at our middleschool was the one who diagnosed me) and i have never defined myself solely by my autism nor have i used it as an excuse for my fuck ups, ive literally apologized and stopped doing the things i did since the blu incident, i recognize i fucked up there and i apologized and i havent done the whole lying out of anxiety thing since, also my white knights of friends??? YOURE the one coming into MY inbox to tell me how shit i am after i blocked blu i literally just want this to be over leave me alone dude

Alright, so now that we’re done talking about YOU, let’s talk about your fandoms. You like Osomatsu-San. Okay, that’s fine. What’s not fine is how FUCKING obsessive you are about it. There’s nothing wrong with liking something and being attached to characters, making art of it, having a blog, reblogging it, talking about it, that’s okay. That’s okay! But you? You fucking hold the characters so close and act like they’re your own characters. You get upset when something doesn’t go your way in the show. This was evidenced by how many times you’ve complained about episodes (guess where? upset.txt) after they’ve come out. That anon about the straight joke? You got so heated over that, didn’t you? Saying Chibita was “out of character”, BITCH, what do you fucking know? He’s not your goddamn character! The writers will write him however the fuck they want. It’s THEIR fucking show, it’s THEIR fucking characters, and it’s THEIR decision of who does what and who acts like what. There’s a VERY thick line between canon and fanon, and you can’t seem to distinguish that AT ALL. You merge your shitty headcanons with the canon universe, and when something doesn’t go your way, you FREAK THE FUCK OUT and go crying about it in your server or on your tags.

youre blowing that ONE FUCKING POST so out of proportion ive never complained abt ososan in upset.txt outside of MAYBE episode 4 and that would be because of the NONCONSENSUAL SEX SCENE i KNOW my headcanons arent canon i KNOW that the chibita/snowtoko complaint was MINOR and i fucking LIKED THAT EPISODE A LOT!! i didnt cry i just felt that based on how the staff have characterized chibita up until that point it was a little jarring to see him react like he did THAT IS ALL! what the fuck!! how would you even know what i talk about in my servers!! youre obviously misinformed my guy!!!

Lemme tell you something, Sombre: Karabita isn’t canon. OH SHIT! I SAID IT BOYS! THAT’S A FUCKING CURSE ISN’T IT!! No, sorry, sit the fuck down and suck those tears up, because it’s true. It’s not canon. It isn’t. You grasp at straws to say it is, but it isn’t. Chibita wore somehing blue? Oh shit, it’s Karamatsu! He’s clearly in love with him! No, sorry honey, that’s not how it works. Of course Chibita would feel pity on him and let him stay with him (ep 24), because who wouldn’t? That doesn’t mean they’re dating. Karamatsu may be the most bisexual person ever, but he sure as hell isn’t dating Chibita (at least, not canonly). Speaking of Chibita, you need to stop acting like any other Matsu x Chibita ship is literal hell. They’re not. There are some decent ones out there, and although they’re rarepairs by now, they’re a lot better quality than the Karabita bullshit you spew out.

me saying karabita is canon is a joke, and my disdain for non karabita matsubita ships is based half in coping reasons and half in chibita has literally no chemistry with the other matsus and seems to not like any of the other bros at all whereas hes actually shown some level of tolerance or interest in karamatsu

While we’re on the subject of non-canon ships, Atsutodo isn’t canon either. Fuck’s sake, they were on screen together for 10 damn seconds. Yes, I’m aware there’s card art of Atsushi and Todomatsu having a meal together, but they’re very clearly not dating if Todomatsu is still going out with girls and holding their hands etc. Oh, speaking of Todomatsu: Your trans hc of him? Generic as fuck. He’s not trans. Call me a transphobe, I don’t give a shit, but he’s not trans. Look at the -kun animes. He’s a guy. Where in his life would he have magically been a girl and then go right back to a guy? The time span between a 12 year old and a 21 year old isn’t long enough to allow you time to transition. In that day and age, it wasn’t even acceptable to be transgender. So none of the Matsus are trans, get that out of your head. Get those “autism hcs” out of your head too, because I KNOW you hc Kara and Jyushi as autistic (and I’m aware you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic too, but we’ll get to that later).

i know atsutodo isnt canon i never said it was all the “x ship is canon” jokes are about karabita and theyre jokes dude, i just think atsutodo would be cute. why the fuck do you even care about my trans hcs?? theyre HEADCANONS they dont HURT ANYONE and like dude there are trans children out there….. stop being a fuckface about simple headcanons what the fuck.

Lemme tell ya something. Karamatsu sure as hell isn’t autistic. Literally the only reason you headcanon him as such is because you yourself claim to be autistic and because “uwu he’s m fav,,,, i relate to him,,,”. Also, I realize “jyushi is autistic xD” headcanons are common, but JESUS FUCK it’s time for them to die. Jyushimatsu is just bizarre in and out, it’s his personality and his way of life. If you’re gonna hc him as autistic for his personality, you’re obviously ignoring his physical abilities. What about that time he cloned himself? Grew different sizes? What about how he seemingly has no bones (tentacle arms)? But oh, let’s ignore that, because he’s always got a smile on his face and he has a childish personality so DURR HE’S OBVIOUSLY AUTISTIC. Also, you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic, but as soon as you started hating him you threw that headcanon out the window. This is PROOF you only headcanon your favorite characters as autistic, and that’s some of the STUPIDEST shit ever.

literally just let people headcanon what they want if it doesnt hurt anyone, im sure in canon theyre not autistic but this is HEADCANON. and is this also to imply that just because a character can do bizarre thing with theyre body they cant also be autistic?? what the fuck does that have to do with anything??? and i didnt throw my autistic ichi hc out the window because “i hate him” i dont even hate him im indifferent to him i hate his fanon incarnation because its stupidly out of character and one note, i also didnt even drop the autism hc for him i feel like he definitely 100% could be autistic but i just dont think about it as much because i think about other characters more than i think about him

Oh yeah, I’d love to hear why you hate Ichimatsu so much? Shut up, I know it’s because “hhhh he abuses kara” but that’s fucking wrong. Listen, Ichimatsu isn’t exactly my favorite either but at least I don’t make him out to be a fucking asshole to Karamatsu. All of the brothers have treated Karamatsu like shit at one point or another. They’ve thrown things at him, ditched him, called him names, ignored him, it’s a fucking trope in the anime that Karamatsu was the one to get hurt. Sure, season 2 has kinda turned that around, but the whole “Ichimatsu is bitter to Karamatsu” thing is the dynamic between them. They DO have moments where they’re not onto each other, though. See how Ichimatsu followed Karamatsu into the woods? Remember the episode where they switched clothes? They didn’t kill each other neither of those times, did they? And yes, I’m aware Ichimatsu has hurt Karamatsu at times (the bazooka, I think smacking?) but he doesn’t LITERALLY ABUSE HIM. You don’t see him kicking him around, PUNCHING HIM, HITTING HIM, EVERY SECOND OF HIS LIFE. Yes, he calls him names. Yes, he’s threatened to hurt him (“I’ll kill you, Shittymatsu.”) but he’s been stopped or HAS stopped every time. If he really was so intent on hurting Karamatsu, don’t you think he wouldn’t ignore his brothers and hurt Karamatsu anyway? But no, he didn’t, and he stopped each time he grabbed Kara. That’s because the entire “Ichimatsu despises Karamatsu” thing is a GAG in the show. It’s meant to be funny. It’s not meant for your negative ass to label it as abuse and then boohoo about it every time Ichimatsu is mentioned. That’s not a valid reason to hate a character, hell, even Karamatsu’s seiyuu said in a Doramatsu CD that Karamatsu was just comic relief. And if you’re gonna look for a reason why Ichimatsu dislikes Karamatsu, consider the hinted and well-supported reason: Ichimatsu “hates” Karamatsu because of how confident he is and how he can always be himself. Ichi is insecure. Ichi is antisocial. Kara, on the other hand, can express himself and show how “cool” he is. Consider that Ichimatsu wants to be more like him, hence why he said he’s the “number one Karamatsu boy” in that one episode.

okay this is just ridiculous i DONT HATE ICHIMATSU and i KNOW its a GAG, i KNOW they get along sometimes i KNOW all the brothers have shat on kara I KNOW THIS abuse takes many forms though and in a more serious anime the way the bros treat kara would probably be depicted as abusive, but it isnt a serious anime so its a gag and i understand that thats FINE, did you even watch the ichimatsu incident? ichimatsu got plenty fucking pissed off at karamatsu and stuff and the “number one karamatsu boy” nonsense was him being concerned about how karamatsu might think of him as such not him calling himself a karamatsu boy, and yes i know the whole ichi wants to be cool and confident like kara thing i understand that but even so that wouldnt logically excuse his bitterness toward kara but again, its a gag anime so its whatever, youre also ignoring the facet of his disdain towards kara being in part because kara is also vain and ichi finds this annoying and thinks kara is fake as hell because of it there was something in i think a magazine where the bros are all asked what they think of eachother i think and i THINK ichi said something along the lines of him not liking kara because he fakes being nice for the sake of his own ego or something (which is likely ichi just having a negative image of kara rather than that actually being the case because i dont think karas that smart but who knows i dont!!) so like y’know

In conclusion, I would like to say you need to shut the fuck up and chill with your fandoms and headcanons, realize headcanons aren’t canon, and also get your head out of your ass. You’ve done so many wrong things and need to stop blaming them on others. You’ve lied, insulted, and put the blame on so many of your old friends, you’ve avoided people who you deem “toxic” (simply because they have different opinions than you), you think people can’t form their own opinions, and you don’t back up your friends when they’re getting shittalked. You act like an assoholic brat and cannot, for the life of you, open up your eyes and see this. You’re lucky the dicktwats on your server are there for you, because if they weren’t, you’d be all alone, and honestly? That seems pretty good at this point. Fits you perfectly.

i know headcanons arent canon, i know ive lied (though ive really only insulted people who were dicks to my friends and maybe blu which probably not a good thing but i mean hes also insulted me so?? even i guess??) and i regret that, im more honest now and try my best to show kindness to people who have done me and my friends no wrong, ive only ever put blame on blu i literally dont blame anyone else for anything, i dont avoid people i deem “toxic” i avoid people i dont get along with because if i dont get along with them then theres no reason to talk to them im gonna let them live their lives, of course i think people can form their own opinions what on earth are you talking about???? when did i not back up a friend when they got shit talked?? i dont remember that but id like to deeply apologize if i ever did, unless youre talking about when someone in my server insults blu over ykno… him not leaving me alone and harassing me when ive done nothing but mind my own business since the incident, then while it was kind of uncomfortable for me because i felt it was the wrong thing to do i couldnt exactly muster the words to protest it. im very sorry you feel that way im always trying to improve and i like to think that im making some level of progress in being more sensitive and kind to those around me. but also dont insult my friends they didnt do shit weve been minding our own goddamn business this entire time blu is the one who started it back up again.

Now, go back to crying in your server and soaking in self-deprication, fuckass.

yknow i get the feeling i know who this is but i dont want to jump to any conclusions so, uh, okay! see ya my dude :0c

#shut up sombre #drama /#heres to hoping this is the last thing i get abt this bc this is jus really dumb and im tryna move on over here #ask to tag /#submission

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vadre · 7 years

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honestly me just word vomiting onto a textpost

tw: sex, trauma, dubcon shit, booze, exes

fuckin. as far as trauma that i just havent even fuckin touched yet sex is pretty much the only thing still left (i think? ya ever get so good at repressing ur emotions that u cant tell if youre actually ok w shit or not anymore, its goddamn terrifying bc its like walking on eggshells but with my own fucking brain) and like. THAT is what i zeroed in on when ex called 2 weeks ago, n like. distressed is the fuckin understatement of the century so ofc i drank myself into oblivion (and got a tattoo but i was actually planning on doing that anyway but then this shit happened and it went from wanting to get one to Needing It and i got it in a more painful spot which my artist warned me about and i had 2 refrain from sayin morbid shit like “thats ideal actually, my good dude”) BUT yeah uuhh friend and i ended up like. i cant say “accidentally fucking” bc thats not possible but i was fucking. blackout drunk and genuinely dont remember most of what happened (which is so fucking scary the more i think about it hahaha) and i woke up with Regret™ and friend seemed like. perfectly fine but he picked up on my awkwardness soon enough and things pretty immediately got real weird btwn us (which also sucked, bc like. i’d been spending most every weekend w him, we were gettin v close and it was at that point where we knew each other well in terms of “hey u wanna hear about the fucked up shit thats happened in my life??!?” but Not the close u can get w someone only after knowing them for a long ass time, which is. a frustrating place 2 be when u wanna know what the Fucc someone is thinking) but then we talked the whole thing over and basically like. so im a v affectionate drunk in that if im comfy w u i can get touchy and that kind of shit and hes a Fucking Straight Cishet Dude so ofc he was just. “aah ok so theyre coming onto me” (which is So Fucking Funny bc i dont “””come onto””” people to start but also like,, he was/is so firmly placed in strictly no-fucking friendship area its wild and i kinda wanna tell him this but ik i shouldnt) and then the shit ensued but from my perspective for like. the nearly 2 weeks we just Didnt Talk About It he just randomly decided to kiss me and my drunk reasoning is pretty much perpetually “oh ok this is happening then” and things ujst kinda,, kept happening even after i puked in his fuckin room which i did/do feel terrible about but then. the part that will never stop bothering me is that he fuckin. didnt stop afterwards? and i. it was way way way too close to like. w shitty ex the dynamic as far as sex went was essentially “i mean, i dont have an option in that i dont want any trouble, its just easier to do this and fucking get it over with” (actually that was pretty much our entire dynamic) and like. idk the feeling of not having an option (i remember verbally consenting, but that being said i also dont remember anything else so like. i was not in a good headspace and wouldve agreed to anything if im being honest with myself) struck way too close to home esp in that like. the thing that fucking drove me to blackout drinking (ive never rly done that before lmao) was my shitty fucking ex calling and forcing me to recall all the shitty fucking things she did, especially regarding fucking, and i dont wanna call it a repeat situation at all bc they truly are different scenarios but there really isnt a worse time where i couldve had fucking dubcon sex and like. the reaction friend had when i basically told him “hey so uuhhh i dont remember shit, i was not coming onto you, you fucking kept going after i puked” was him profusely apologizing and being generally self deprecating (honestly like. everything that happened is easily forgivable, but again the puking thing was kind of an indicator that i wasnt in any state to be consenting, which his drunk ass evidently didnt understand) but im still uncomfortable w the entire thing even if it is like. resolved? i guess? and he thinks things are perfectly fine back to normal which is honestly kinda even more frightening? like he doesnt know what to do, frankly i dont know what i want him to do, but i just hate that he was becoming a close friend and then. this. this is also a more immediate issue so i have yet another excuse to put off dealing w traumatic experiences relating to ex :)))

but yeah im screaming

#just venting #tw sex//#tw alcohol #ask 2 tag anything else #im so fucking sorry if youre on mobile

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sorcieresque · 7 years

Text

clea and daisy and trying to build a friendship out of thin air when you’re either fake or a mess at social interactions while also being high as fuck: The Convo

(please do yourself a favor and install x-kit’s read-more now bc daisy’s theme is unreadable)

Today at 12:45 AM

sorcieresque Do I remind you of your Mother.

bythepowerof4 absolutely ot also this is a little silly daaisy *not

bythepowerof4 haha are you gonna send this to everyone :p

sorcieresque No, I'm asking you. Specifically.

bythepowerof4 ok thats a little weird then but ok

bythepowerof4 no you do not!! my mother is nice and not magical yeah whhat data are u hoping to gather here exactly??

sorcieresque Scientific data. Specifically.

bythepowerof4 lmao sure hit me with ur hypothesis miss daisy also i know i contain multitudes or whatever but 1 is a pisspoor sample size haha

sorcieresque How dare you question my methods.

bythepowerof4 i am taking one whole chemistry class this year how dare you how dare me!!!

sorcieresque How dare you d are me dare you to answer my question.

bythepowerof4 im too tired to tack another how dare on there just imgine i did ok fill in the blanks How are u holding up lmaoo. see ur maneater hobby is going well right now

bythepowerof4 ok wow daisy youre beinng linda gross :// Kinda

sorcieresque It's a joke Humor! Specifically.

bythepowerof4 hahahahaha youre so funny!!!

sorcieresque Thank you, Clea Spacebabe, Specifically

bythepowerof4 dont do that :/

sorcieresque Do what

bythepowerof4 be MEAN and weird for no reason and not even be that good at it its stupidd

sorcieresque He started it by babbling like a toddler about having my meanness all figured out, and besides, he pulled the same move on Tyler the other week God, Clea, it's almost like you're getting soft

bythepowerof4 god daisy its almost like i always was :p

sorcieresque For Men? Specifically? I may have misunderstood something

sorcieresque Grieviously so

bythepowerof4 fuck off oh my god i dont care about him bc hes gross but now YOUREbeing gross so what am i meant to do with that huh huh

sorcieresque I have found through my scientific endeavors that people in this school do not know how to take an vulgar joke We're teenagers for god's sake Get real

bythepowerof4 xactly if they dont know how to take it as a joke that makes it sad and mean like how youre always sad and mean to moire and its not gonna come off like a joke when you keep beating each other hp its gonna come off weird and creepy which it did but if you wanna be weird and creepy cb ur a teenager fine i guess??

sorcieresque That's judgmental of you

bythepowerof4 thats judgmental of you to call me judgmental

bythepowerof4 sorry i dont like, get the appeal of ur hobbies

sorcieresque Taylor and I are not sad and Mean to each other, I'll have you know I got her a twenty thousand dolalr Book that she hates and either way What Tyler and I get up to is not your space babe business So forgive me If I infer that you amy perhaps be Jealous

bythepowerof4 why?? would u infer that???? if youre friends thats good i want you to have lots of friends?????

sorcieresque You seem, as the kids say, Salty

bythepowerof4 daisy no offence but im not very jealous ofthe girl who you punch in the face sometimes and try to humiliate online

sorcieresque Oh Do you actually mean it then That you think I am weird and creepy?

bythepowerof4 hhhhhhhh no

sorcieresque You said it

bythepowerof4 i think youre BEING weird and creepy :(

sorcieresque Do not make me pull reciepts

bythepowerof4 do not make me crytype at u ill do it!! im sorry youre not creepy except for when you try to be you know cause u do that

sorcieresque I wasn't trying to be this time, I was making humorosu statements about People's mother complexes Taylor walked straight into that One Tyler*

sorcieresque [[ actually lets retcon that correction taylor is way funnier

bythepowerof4 i think talking about pples mothers complexes in a weird sexy way is automatically creepy tho

sorcieresque Hence, the humor Whatever, ET You don't get it

bythepowerof4 no i dont glad we cleared that up

bythepowerof4 that sounded rude igore that

sorcieresque Can't and shan't

bythepowerof4 boo

bythepowerof4 i already said sorry right cause i thoght i did but u havent said anything so maybe i made that up

sorcieresque Yes but you're just sorry you have hurt my delicate sensibilities, not that you think I'm weird That's un-takeback-able Grievously so

bythepowerof4 Being Weird thats a different thing???

bythepowerof4 i mean sure naybe i am a little jealous bc apparently beating u up is takebackable but saying one wrong thing isnt that seems about right huh u dont even care abut my delicate sensibilities daisy u dont get to be picky about this when im sorry which i very totally sm ):

sorcieresque I like when Tyler beats me up Wording Terrible wording

sorcieresque I encourage Tyler to beat me up for I do the same to her and so we are Even When have I ever not cared about your delicate sensibilities except for the thievery, the unkindness, the coy filirting and hot and coldness, the attempt to use you as a hitman, and the backahanded mockery of your interest

bythepowerof4 thats not funny :/

sorcieresque Of which I do not longer have done to you I'm a different person now than I was a month aho

sorcieresque None of the things I type are coming out the way I want them to sound which would fundamentally reapir the fragile emergence of our tentaitvie friendship

bythepowerof4 i mean accetping my apology might have worked Or giving, one, but u know go with ur gut be ur authentic self or whatever

sorcieresque Now who's being mean

bythepowerof4 nlehhhhhhh. Fine. its me i mean no bc im trying to be nice but ur not letting me !!

sorcieresque How so

bythepowerof4 like i said sorry and you said you didnt believe me thats not fair bc it was true?? and then ur talking about our budding friendship like you actually care abt it and IM the bad guy ):

sorcieresque Making friends is so hard

bythepowerof4 Nnot normally sometimes

sorcieresque I know I'm abnormal

sorcieresque It's generally frowned upont to point it out I had hoped You specifically

bythepowerof4 thats not what i meant dont do that ):

sorcieresque Wouldn't find it offputtin

bythepowerof4 ???? wouldnt find what offputtin

sorcieresque My glaring abnormality I'm too high for this

bythepowerof4 im not a jerk why do u think im a jerk and if u WERNT high ud be too sober for this and not talk about anything duh

bythepowerof4 i, am an open book, always

sorcieresque Oh are you Spacebabe then why won't you answer my question about yout Momther

bythepowerof4 "no you do not!! my mother is not magical yeah"

bythepowerof4 i didnt realise you wanted an essay lmoa

sorcieresque It was a scheme! A sly plan! To get to know you! You fool! You moron!

bythepowerof4 oh

bythepowerof4 i dont always get that stuff im sorry also i was told several times that you never try to get to know people and its all on me all the time and i was dumb and believed that so uh. Didnt occur to me igues

sorcieresque Well that's true but I am trying new things New school new me

sorcieresque Why are you out there

bythepowerof4 i like the view. scary forest full of things that would kill me, very comforting

sorcieresque It's only scary if you let them scare you Give me a moment

sorcieresque [Maybe five minutes later Daisy gets up with far more difficulty than she would otherwise, and stumbles out onto the porch. She hears rather than sees Clea crying, and she isn't sure what pushes her to do it, but instead of continuing the argument in person she simply lies her head on Clea's lap and continues blogging on her phone.]

bythepowerof4 [daisy's head on their lap prompts a fresh ugly sob, and they try to wipe away the snot before it drips onto her hair. gross. they let her blog in peace for a while, feeling even more like the bad guy - maybe five more minutes, till they can't help but ask.] is nick mad at me too??

sorcieresque [Daisy shrugs widely, her words low and dragged out.] Maybe. I'll ask him not to be, [she says, as if that would solve everything and who knows: Maybe it would. They work in mysterious ways.] Do not call me weird again.

bythepowerof4 [they squint down at her, sniffling in a way they hope isn't too pathetic. they feel like she's closed off again, but take it as a peace offering.] thanks. i won't.

bythepowerof4 [they can't come up with a counter demand; the conversation must have been pretty one sided. they settle for leaning back on their arms, sobs dried up.]

#offline #IM #bythepowerof4

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