#this is super personal and I just needed a space in the universe to EJECT my thoughts into the void | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sirtravisjacksonoftexas · 4 years

Text

Does the Bible Teach That Aliens Do or Do Not Exist? Um, None of the Above, and Moses Will Show you why:

The 1980’s was a great decade to grow up in. Even today, I’m still in love with the rock, pop and country music that came out of it. MTV got its start in the 80’s (and to anyone who was born afterwards; yes, Music Television DID have music during the 80’s). This was the decade of Atari and Nintendo, of games like “Asteroids” and “Super Mario Brothers”. This was the decade that saw Ernest P. Worrell become a house-hold name, the decade that saw children collect Garbage Pail Kids trading cards (I miss those things). Arguably the best science fiction and fantasy movies were made in the 80’s (“Star Wars: Return of the Jedi”, “Dune”, “Labyrinth”, “Dark Crystal”, “The NeverEnding Story” etc). Kids had cartoons like “Thundercats”, “He-Man”. There were also great TV shows like “FraggleRock” and “Punkie Brewster”.

And, of course, who could forget Alf?

For those of you who are 80’s challenged, “Alf” was a TV show about an alien named Gordon Shumway (aka Alf) who crashes into the garage of a human family called the Tanners. They take Alf in and keep him hidden from the US government. Though he gets into mischief and occasionally tries to eat cats, he nevertheless becomes a member of the family. I’m still a fan, having all the Alf episodes on DVD. From childhood to now, I often imagine what it would be like if Alf and other aliens like him truly existed, roaming across the universe in search of adventure and discovery.

But do aliens exist?

This has been the subject of intense study by scientists for decades now. Indeed, there is a scientific field dedicated to the study of extraterrestrial life forms (called “Astrobiology”). Though we have not yet found life beyond earth, scientists expect to eventually do so, and soon.

But does this subject belong to science alone? Can other fields of study answer the question about whether there is life on other planets?

Surprisingly, many a Christian theologian and apologist has considered the possibility.

And what did they say about it?

Aliens don’t exist.

Some will dismiss the scientific case for the possibility extra-terrestrial life as pure bogus. Others will tackle the subject of UFOs, saying that they’re either natural phenomena, misidentified secret aircraft or both. Some will even go so far as to say that both UFOs and supposed alien abductions are actually demonic instead of alien in origin. There are books, documentaries and even movies that support this latter idea. Some theologians say that when the rapture occurs, people might invoke aliens as an explanation for it; people will say that the earth has had a mass alien abduction. We’ve had decades of supposed alien abductions, as well as Star Trek shows where people are beamed up from a planet to a space ship, both of which could lead people to mistake the rapture for alien activity. Many see this as evidence that aliens therefore don’t exist (which is a complete non-Sequitur, but more on that later). Some will even say that if aliens exist, then there is a conundrum; how can they accept Christ as Lord and Savior? Christ died for fallen humanity, for humans who suffer from a sinful nature, due to Adam and Eve’s sin. How could aliens be saved, since Christ didn’t die for them as well? How could their sins be forgiven? Should we believe that Jesus was incarnated on countless worlds and died for them too? This would seem highly unlikely, and this is supposed to make us conclude that aliens therefore don’t exist. Some will also bring up the many requirements for life to exist on earth, and say that all of these factors would be highly unlikely to exist on other worlds. The chances of that happening, according to some Christian theologians and apologists, would be astronomical.

So, are they right? Can one make a Biblical or theological case that ETs don’t exist?

Um, NO, and here is why:

1. ARGUMENT FROM SILENCE.

Does the Bible say that Extra-terrestrials exist?

No.

Does the Bible say that they don’t exist?

No.

Does them Bible mention them at all?

No.

This should make one logically conclude that the Bible is silent on the issue, and nothing more. One could speculate on why God would be silent about the idea, but one couldn’t go from speculation to fact when it comes to this question, especially considering that the Bible is not a total revelation of all facts. Instead, it is God’s love letter to humanity, Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth (B.I.B.L.E.). However, many will use this silence as an argument that aliens don’t exist, because if they did, then surely God would have told us in his word, right?

Wrong.

To argue such a position would be to commit an “Argument from Silence” logical fallacy. It’s basically arguing that absence of evidence is evidence of absence, and it’s an error of reasoning that people often make. For example, let’s say that a “historian” (we’ll call him “Richard”) says that no one mentioned Jesus Christ during the time when Jesus lived on earth. If nobody mentioned Jesus at that time, then therefore, according to Richard, Jesus never existed. However, this kind of argument is unbelievably faulty; The vast majority of written documents from the ancient world didn’t survive to the modern era, many historical figures have no contemporary writings about them (Thales of Miletus, Boudicca, Zoroaster the Prophet, Buddha, etc), some historical events have no contemporary written accounts about them (the Pompeii disaster), most people who lived in Galilee at the time of Christ were illiterate (most people in the ancient world were), and historians do not discard a person as a historical figure because they have no contemporaneous accounts about them. No, to be fair, there are some circumstances where you can get away with using an argument from silence (though even then, the argument would be circumstantial), but you have to meet several criteria in order to use is properly. Would God have a good reason to mention aliens in the Bible (If you say yes, then why? What would be the good reason? Are you simply assuming? Remember, assumption is the mother of all screw ups)? Is the subject relevant to God’s purposes in scripture? These are but a few questions one would need to ask themselves before trying to make an Argument from Silence about the question of ETs and the Bible, and just getting one wrong could lead to a fallacious argument.

And guess what the answer is to the questions I just asked?

NO!

Like I said, God doesn’t reveal everything in his word. Not every scientific fact is found in the Bible. Indeed, there are numerous things that we know exist (including on other planets) that the Bible never mentions:

1. Black Holes

2. Volcanoes on other planets (like Olympus Mons, a 16-mile-high Martian Volcano)

3. Mountains on other planets

4. Canyons on other planets (Mars has one that dwarfs the Grand Canyon).

5. Moons orbiting other planets (Jupiter alone is now known to have 79 moons).

6. Water on other planets and moons (Mercury, Uranus, Neptune, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn have water ice. Jupiter, Saturn and Mars all have water vapor. Mars may have liquid water underground, and used to have oceans. Pluto, a dwarf planet, has water ice. Ganymede, Jupiter’s largest moon, has an underground ocean that may have more water than all of Earth’s oceans combined. Europa, another moon of Jupiter, is covered in ice, and may have either an ocean or slushy ice beneath it. There is water ice on our own moon. Such moons are far from unique in our solar system when it comes to water ice. K2-18 b, a planet in another solar system, has water vapor in its atmosphere).

7. Dust devils on other worlds (Mars has dust devils that can reach 5 miles high, dwarfing those of earth)

8. Skies on other planets (the only planet in our solar system without an atmosphere is Mercury.)

9. Weather on other worlds (Jupiter's Great Red Spot is a giant storm that has lasted for at least 150 years)

10. Saturn’s rings (which are made of particles that are more than 90% water ice. These rings were discovered in 1610 AD)

11. Gamma Ray Bursts

12. Coronal Mass Ejections (when the sun spews both plasma and a magnetic field. It’s basically a solar burp).

13. Radiation

If the Bible doesn’t mention any of these things, and yet they have nevertheless been proven to exist…then why would we say that there is no life on other planets because the bible doesn’t mention them? Can you imagine a theologian saying in the 19th century that “The Bible doesn’t mention other planets having mountains, volcanoes, canyons, water, atmospheres, dust devils, weather, and so on, and thus they don’t exist! If they did, God would have told us!”. What if one said “The Bible doesn’t say that Black Holes exist, or that Gamma Ray Bursts or Mass Coronal Ejections exist, therefore they do not exist! Otherwise, God would have surely told us!”? That would be an absurd line of argument, an argument that would have a very poor track record, considering all the things that the Bible doesn’t mention that turned out to actually exist.

But notice, in particular, how many things are found in and around other planets…that the Bible never mentioned. Water, mountains, canyons, volcanoes (including the largest in the solar system), skies, weather, and giant dust devils. They all exist…and yet the Bible never mentions them. Moons exist around most of the planets in our solar system alone (let alone ones in other solar systems), and yet out of all of them…only one moon-ours-is mentioned in the Bible. All of these marvels of God’s creation…and not one of them is mentioned in the Bible.

If the Bible doesn’t mention mountains, volcanoes, water (including ice and oceans), skies and weather on other planets…why would it mention life on other planets?

Now, to be fair, some may object, saying that all of these other things were indeed mentioned in the Bible, albeit not specifically. Instead, they are mentioned in a general, collective sense in Genesis 2:1;

“Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.”

This passage is a continuation of the creation account in Genesis 1. It indicates that God created the heavens, earth, and all the “host thereof”, which some would comfortably include planets and everything on them.

However, if some of my fellow believers do so, then they just shot themselves in the foot, for just as the passage indicates that the earth has “hosts” (including living things)…and since the heavens have hosts of their own…then one can conclude that living things on other planets (planets are in the heavens)could possibly be mentioned here in a general sense too! True, the “host of heaven” or “heavenly host” usually means the stars in the bible, nut the passage in question relates that earth also has hosts, which indicates that stars alone are not indicated here. One may try to say that angels are in view here, for they are at times referred to as the “host of Heaven” (1 Kings 22:19) or “heavenly host” (Luke 2:13), and angelic beings (as well as demons) can be found both on earth and in the heavens (Genesis 3:24, Ephesians 2:2, 6:12, Revelation 7:1, 19:14-15). However, there are several problems with this idea. You see, not only is the creation of angels never mentioned in Genesis 1 or 2 (Or anywhere in the Bible), the creation account of Job 38:4-11, when combined with the Genesis creation accounts, indicates that angels existed prior to the 6 days of creation, and thus could not be referenced here in Genesis 2:1 as products of the creation week. True, the creation of aliens is never mentioned in Genesis either, but neither is the creation of land, seas and skies on other worlds, and yet they can be placed within Genesis 2:1 in a general sense.

Why not aliens?

Also, as I’ve written in a previous article, the first creation account in Genesis was not meant to be taken as a literal scientific account of origins. Therefore, it should NEVER be used to dictate or argue scientific truths, including on cosmology and astrobiology. Thus, it doesn’t really answer our question about whether aliens exist or not.

Plus, we need to keep in mind that the ancient Israelites didn’t know that other physical worlds truly existed, let alone had mountains, volcanoes, water, etc. Indeed, the planets in the night sky were thought to be wandering stars, and no one knew in the ancient world that stars were physical objects. None knew that other planets besides those in the night sky also existed, let alone those that orbit other stars (extrasolar planets are yet another thing not mentioned specifically in the Bible, yet are known to exist). Many ancient civilizations thought that planets were gods. Some ancient Jewish thinkers thought that stars were angels, and “morning stars” (usually planets) were personified as part of the angelic or heavenly host by ancient Israelites (special note: though angels were at times called “stars” (Job 38:7, Revelation 12:4), the Bible itself doesn’t teach that stars are angels. This was a non-biblical teaching, and Genesis 1 shows that stars were no personal beings, but simply parts of God’s perfect creation). Thus, while we can conclude from the creation account that God truly made all things, we cannot conclude that the ancient writers of scripture had modern scientific discoveries in mind when they wrote scripture, or that God likewise had them in mind when he was communicating through that very scripture. He was talking to ancient people in a way that they could understand, not in a way that modern people would desire him to.

2. DEMON THEORIES AND THE RAPTURE

Many of my fellow Christians accept the idea that some UFOS and most, if not all, alien abductions are demonic in nature. Many will bring up the fact that some UFOs seem to defy the laws of physics, pulling off maneuvers and speeds that would be supposedly impossible for even advanced alien technology to do…yet possible for supernatural beings to pull off. Many also cite similarities between alien abductions (along with several other kinds of supposed “close encounters”) and demonic activity. For example, both phenomena are at times associated with a sulfur smell (sulfur aka brimstone). This is a great way to scare some Christians away from the subject of life on other planets for sure. To be fair, I wouldn’t put it pass people to mistake demons and even angels as UFOs, nor would I put it past demons to masquerade as UFOS and or aliens in order to jack with people, pull pranks or even lead people away from Christianity (there are UFO cults). Indeed, there are many similarities between alien abduction and Fairy Abduction

(according to European folklore, if a person stepped inside a fairy ring (a natural occurring ring of mushrooms), then faeries would party with him or her, keeping the individual “prisoner” for a considerable time before letting him or her go free. Like flying saucers, fairy rings are circular. Like Greys (grey skinned, black eyed aliens), faeries were said to be smaller than human beings…).

Given these factors, should we conclude that aliens don’t exist, that only demons and angels are beyond the wild blue yonder?

Um…nope.

Remember, one can accept the existence of life on other worlds without accepting that UFOs or “Alien” Abductions are extraterrestrial activity. Indeed, most mainstream scientists disregard both UFOs and alien abductions as bonafide evidence of aliens, yet they accept that ETs are a possibility. But let’s dig deeper into these arguments, shall we?

To say that advanced alien technology cannot pull off the stunning feats of some UFOs is shortsighted, considering the many times in the history of science where the “impossible” was proven possible. People once thought that you couldn’t sail around the world because it was flat, yet long before Columbus people started to realize that that wasn’t the case. They said that we could never land people on the Moon, and that the sound barrier could never be broken. Indeed, while scientists accept that the speed of light will never be broken (and with FAR better reason than those who thought the sound barrier would never be broken), they accept that its possible to warp space so that two locations can temporarily come far closer together. You could potentially travel across an entire galaxy in mere moments instead of many, many years. This kind of tech would be a loophole around the light barrier. Imagine what other loopholes technology could achieve if an alien race was centuries, millennia, even millions or billions of years ahead of our technology? Thus, this objection has no merit.

But what about alien abduction?

Sorry, folks, but alien abduction has less to do with demons and more to do with the waking mind.

The symptoms of alien abduction are strikingly similar to sleep paralysis, a condition where a person awakes and is paralyzed. This occurs when the mind awakes before the body. Our bodies are designed to limit our physical movements when we sleep. This is why most of us don’t run in real life while we dream of running, or why we don’t punch our pillows when we dream of being in a fight or a boxing match. This is a safety mechanism, keeping us from harming ourselves and others while we sleep. However, some people have trouble with keeping their bodies in check while they slumber (sleepwalkers). Those who suffer from sleep paralysis have the opposite problem; they have trouble regaining their ability to move when they first awake. This symptom would be frightening enough on its own, but there is another eerie symptom that comes with it.

Dreaming while awake.

People who suffer from sleep paralysis will at times hallucinate while paralyzed, and such hallucinations can be frightening. Indeed, what you end up seeing can be influenced by the culture you grew up in. Europeans in the Middle Ages would see incubus or succubus demons, while people in other ages might see djinns or old hags.

In our culture, you’ll most likely see aliens.

True, demons could potentially jack with our dreams, but why should we invoke demons in every case of sleep hallucination that involves aliens? You don’t have to invoke the supernatural when it comes to nightmares, let alone those that are caused by sleep paralysis. Thus, this objection has no merit.

Neither does the rapture-alien theory.

Just because people may blame aliens for the rapture after it occurs doesn’t mean that aliens therefore don’t exist. It’s a non-sequitur. Indeed, many have come up with other potential explanations for the rapture. I’ve heard laser beams being invoked before as a possible way to explain away the rapture. One can invoke a physics disaster at CERN or the cumulative effects of radiation from nuclear testing (the latter explanation was used in the Left Behind films). Nobody would thus argue that laser beams don’t exist, or that nuclear tests therefore don’t produce radiation.

Why then use such an argument against the existence of extraterrestrials?

3. MISSIONARIES…IN SPACE!!!!!!

If aliens exist, how can they be saved? Surely if they do exist, they would need to be saved, for they’d be sinners like us, right (remember what I said earlier about assumptions?)? And what other beings apart from humans exist that don’t need Jesus’ gift of salvation?

Well, other than angels, animals, plants, fungi, microbes…

True, angels long to look into the subject of salvation (1 Peter 1:10-12), but they are nevertheless not covered by the sacrifice and resurrection of Christ. Indeed, angels did not descend from Adam and Eve, and thus didn’t inherit a sinful nature. They have the potential to sin (case in point: Satan), but they are nevertheless not burdened with a sinful nature that can only be overcome by the death and resurrection of Christ. Likewise, though animals have a spirit (Ecclesiasts 3:21), they likewise did not descend from Adam and Eve, and thus didn’t inherit their sinful nature. Indeed, they are incapable of sin (and please don’t bring up the Serpent in the Garden: even in ancient times, that was known to have been a supernatural being, not a legit snake).

If aliens exist, if other life forms were created by God on other worlds, then they likewise would not have descended from Adam and Eve and thus would not have inherited their sinful natures. Could they sin? Possibly, just like angels (who have no sinful nature) could potentially sin. This doesn’t mean that they would need Jesus to die and rise from the grave for them, just as angels don’t need Jesus to die and rise from the grave for them.

Indeed, who is to say that alien life would be able to understand right from wrong, let alone consciously chose to do evil? Who’s to say that there will be sentient life elsewhere? What if other worlds are only inhabited by animals, plants, fungi, microbes and perhaps other forms of life we haven’t even imagined yet, none of them intelligent? Indeed, some scientists, such as the paleontologist Peter Ward and the Astrobiologist Donald E. Brownlee, believe that the universe is populated with mostly microbes, and that multi-cellular life like our own is exceptionally rare. This view is called the Rare Earth Hypothesis (which both the above scientists wrote about in their book “Rare Earth”). I sincerely doubt that there are microbes that understand right from wrong, or that sin against God (more on the Rare Earth hypothesis later).

But let’s say that there are alien species out there who are sentient, and who are intelligent enough to chose to obey God or not. Once again, the angel example has to be considered in such cases, but we need to ask another question as well:

Who is to say that aliens likewise had a fall?

Who is to say that all sentient alien species chose to eat forbidden fruit?

Could there be intelligent alien species out there that never suffered the stain of sin? Could there be alien Adam and Eves living in other-worldly Edens?

Also, what if God made at least some aliens species that already had the knowledge of Good and Evil from the beginning? Humans obviously weren’t ready for it in the Garden of Eden, and it led to a sinful nature that was passed on to Adam and Eve’s descendants, but who is to say that a sentient alien species wouldn’t have been initially made not only with that knowledge, but with the maturity to handle it?

And even if there are sentient alien species whose ancestors had a Fall, whose is to say that God would chose to save them in the exact same way he chose to save us? Whose to say that he wouldn’t cover them under a different kind of grace? Indeed, who is to say that the ultimate ancestors of sinful ETs would have passed on a sinful nature to their descendants like Adam and Eve did with theirs? Wouldn’t their “Falls” be different from that of Adam and Eve? Would it really have involved forbidden fruit as well?

At first, these ideas about Edens and Falls on other worlds seems impossible, considering that the Bible teaches that all creation suffers due to humanity’s sin (not alien’s sins) in Romans 8:18-22. However, this could be hyperbole, over-exaggeration used to prove a point. It seems hard to understand how galaxies countless lightyears from earth could be affected by human sin. Indeed, how could Pluto or Mars be affected by it? True, one could imagine that Adam and Eve’s sin may have spread physical death across the universe…but that’s where things get very, very complicated…

You see, some may bring up the supposed “fact” that Adam and Eve’s sin brought death into existence (1 Corinthians 15:20-21), and that death is only mentioned as being on earth (Romans 5:12). However, this is faulty for several reasons.

1. Just because the bible mentions death only on earth doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist on other worlds. If I say that soccer is played in Brazil, does that mean that it is not played elsewhere? If I say that black bears inhabit Texas, does that mean that Texas is the only place were black bears can be found? If I say that monotheism, the belief that there is only one God, was a major tenet of ancient Israelite religion, does that mean that the concept was not known in other cultures (for a time, ancient Egypt worshipped Aten the Sun Disk, and no other God)? If I say that Pizza is Italian food, does that mean that pizza is only found in Italy?

2. Whenever we look at these passages more closely (as well as another connected passage (Romans 6:23), we can see that it is relating to humans, not other creatures. Now, animals, plants, microbes and fungi die as well as humans, and yet…humans are the subject of the context of the passages in question.

Why?

Because these passages are not talking about physical death, but spiritual death.

This is confirmed in Genesis 2:17 and 3:2-7. Let’s look at the first passage:

“but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (emphasis mine)

Now let’s look at the second passage:

“And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.” (Emphasis mine)

Now, compare this to the rest of Genesis chapter 3.

Um, notice that Adam and Eve are not killed?

Wow, was the Serpent right after all? Was God fibbing when he said that Adam and Eve would die if they ate the forbidden fruit? After all, their eyes were “opened” after they ate, just like the serpent said, and they lived over it. Was the Serpent actually telling the truth?

Only if God was referring to physical death.

God, however, was referring to spiritual death. He was referring to the separation that sin makes between God and man, a separation that can only be overcome by Jesus Christ and his gift of salvation.

That is the kind of death that these passages are talking about.

3. Death existed before the Fall.

As I’ve argued in an earlier article, death actually existed before Adam and Eve’s Fall. Not only were they not created immortal (they would have had to have eaten of the Tree of Life in order to live forever, and they never got the chance to do it (Genesis 3), the Bible never indicates that any animal ate of the Tree of Life and likewise became immortal. Indeed, the Bible indicates that the tree of life was not found anywhere else in the world (Genesis 3:22-24). If Adam, Eve and the animals were already immortal (they weren’t but indulge me)…then why would there be a tree of life, whose fruit offers immortality? It’s a tad redundant, don’t you think? Its on par with putting a tree whose fruit is designed to help people get thin at a supermodel convention,

or trying to sell fertility drugs to pregnant women.

In both cases, there is a product available to people who obviously don’t need it. Indeed, the fact that Adam and Eve had not eaten of the Tree of Life before or after the Fall, the fact that they were not immortal at the time means that, if they hadn’t sinned in the Garden yet still never ate of the Tree of Life…then they would eventually die. The potential for physical death was already there, implying that physical death was already in the world. Thus, physical death didn’t enter the universe because of the Fall. Spiritual death did. That spiritual death sentence didn’t spread to animals or angels, so why would it spread to aliens?

Another thing we have to ask ourselves is what do we mean by intelligent life and sentient beings? Non-human apes are actually both, yet they are not sinners. They are still animals and not as intelligent as humans, they are nevertheless intelligent, in some cases enough so to learn sign language. Indeed, some have argued that many animals have a more code, knowing “right” from “wrong” (though not knowing it intimately as humans, which wouldn’t have been the case before the Fall. There was a primitive sense of right and wrong that Adam and Eve knew of before the Fall (God allowing them to eat of the garden, but not of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. There were right choices…and a wrong choice). Would aliens as intelligent and sentient as the great apes, and with a primitive sense of morality, need a savior?

No more than animals do.

But this brings up an important question: What makes man different from animals? The Bible indicates that, unlike animals, we are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26-27). As I noted in another article, this does not mean that we are the only creatures with a soul. This is an eisegetical interpretation that has no basis in the historical and cultural background of the Bible, let alone merit. Indeed, ancient near eastern kings were often said to be in the image of a certain god. This reinforced their authority as kings over their people. It was a reason why they had dominion over them. Likewise, Adam and Eve are made in God’s image, and had dominion over their subjects, the animals. We are all in God’s image, and thus represent God to nature. We represent his authority to the earth. Hence, one major reason why God is ticked off when we sin; we violate the very image that we bear when we sin.

But what if aliens, even intelligence aliens, were not made in God’s image? What if they were never given a sacred dominion over their worlds? At first this seems impossible, for surely aliens with at least our level of intelligence would be the dominant life forms on their worlds as we are over earth, but then again…angels are likewise intelligent (FAR more so than human beings), and yet…where are they ever said to have been made in the image of God?

Name one Bible verse that says that angels are made in God’s image.

Indeed, angels rule in Heaven under God, just as we rule on earth under God, and yet angels are still not said to be in the image of God.

Also, the ancients already set down the basics for intelligent beings that weren’t made in the divine image; unlike the Israelites, many in the ancient near east thought that only their kings were made in a deity’s image. Everybody else, every other member of homo sapiens, the most intelligent life form on earth…was not. And yet they would have recognized humans as the dominant life form on the planet. We likewise might see intelligent ETs in a similar light. They can have dominion over their planets, but not one based on the divine image of God. Indeed, there would have been other ruling authorities in ancient near eastern kingdoms (such as queens, princes, etc), yet they neither had the power of a king nor were thought to be in the image of a deity. Aldo, dinosaurs practically ruled the earth for millions of years, and yet they were not made in the image of God (or for that matter remotely intelligent, save for a few species). Same goes for the Theraspids or mammal-like reptiles who were the dominant land animals before them, and other animals which dominated the earth before mankind was created.

Thus, if intelligent aliens sinned from the beginning, yet weren’t made in God’s image…would they still have passed on a sinful nature to their descendants? Would their sin be as grievous as ours? Would it necessitate the death and resurrection of Christ? These questions are even more interesting considering the fact that there is Biblical and other evidence to show that Adam and Eve were meant to not just be intelligent life forms in the Bible and have dominion over earth, but were also to be a priest and priestess of God, respectively (both a priestly and royal role, like Melchizedek and Christ himself). Would aliens have likewise has such a priestly role initially? What if they didn’t? What if they also weren’t made in the Image of God? Would they still need a death and resurrection of God the Son in order to enter Heaven…or would they be under a different kind of grace? Seems like the latter would be far more likely. If aliens didn’t have a priestly and kingly role, would humans actually have more authority than them, at least in some way? Not impossible. Though they weren’t the most powerful tribe (and unlike the others, had no land appointed to them), the Levites where in charge of religious matters and the Tabernacle (later Temple). Due to Adam and Eve’s priestly role, would we likewise have religious authority over aliens? Would we have even more authority? Were we meant to be a priestly race? It’s interesting to note that not only are Christians a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9), but one day, we as believers in Christ will judge even angels (1 Corinthians 6:3).

4. MATH, CHANCE AND THE RARE EARTH

Some Christians have taken to the rare earth hypothesis, which as previously stated is the idea that complex life is exceptionally rare. The reason why some scientists believe this is because there are supposedly at least 152 parameters needed for life like our own to exist on earth, including having a moon of the right size, having only 1 moon, having a specific tilt and volcanic activity. Indeed, if we calculate the chances of another planet like ours having all of these parameters, it would be 1 in 19 with 193 zeros behind it. To put this into perspective, the estimated number of planets in the universe is 10 with 22 zeros behind it. In other words, the chances aren’t good for advanced life forms like ours to exist on other worlds. The chances that one world-ours-would have all these parameters would be astronomical, let along if there were at least one other which likewise beat the odds. Ours would be a universe filled with microbes, but not animals, fungi, plants or sentient beings. This is an intriguing possibility, but it has several fatal flaws.

1. If you are a Christian (Like I am), then you believe that all life, including human life, has something in common with every other aspect of creation; it was all created by God, not chance.

Indeed, creationists will argue against the idea that life on earth came about by chance and certain circumstances (stating that it would be impossible for chance and circumstances alone to do it. You’d need a supernatural creator to explain how life began), and yet when it comes to life on other worlds…they will invoke chance and circumstances as an argument against it, without considering God. That would be the equivalent of an atheist saying that just because there is no contemporaneous accounts of Socrates or Thales of Miletus doesn’t mean that they therefore didn’t exist…and yet later say that there are no contemporaneous accounts of Jesus Christ, therefore he didn’t exist.

If God made us, why would aliens be made by chance and circumstances?

Is God incapable of overcoming the mathematical odds? Since when did he become weak? Since when did he become incapable of overcoming math?

You cannot use a Double Standard as a logical argument, and the chance argument is being used in such a way.

2. Most scientists do not hold to the rare Earth Hypothesis. Indeed, in science, the term “hypothesis” is used in the same way as we use the word “Theory”, while “Theory” in science is a scientific explanation that has withstood a lot of testing. This doesn’t make scientific theories absolute (some theories have been discarded), but it does mean that it has past enough tests to be considered a theory. Hypotheses, however, have not withstood a lot of testing yet. Thus, the Rare Earth Hypothesis, though interesting, is not as powerful an argument against advanced alien life as many believe it to be.

3. The parameters needed for our form of life (or even for planets like earth and solar systems like ours to form) are not as rigid as you think. For example, contrary to purveyors of the Rare Earth hypothesis, life on earth would actually be possible if earth was 2-5% further away from the Sun and tilted on its side like Uranus. Indeed, it could be 1.4 times further from the sun and tilted, and still have our kind of life if an intense greenhouse effect were present. Likewise, there is biological evidence to show that not having a big moon would not have made complex life impossible on earth. Indeed, the idea that complex life couldn’t be on earth if it rotated faster is bogus, considering that it rotated more than 10 percent faster during the Ordovician Period (490-443 million years ago).

The days in the Ordovician were 21 hours long, not 24. Though there were few living things on land at the time (lichens), the seas were filled with animals like trilobites, sea scorpions, armor-plated fish and Cameraceras, the giant orthocone (see below).

Indeed, the rotation of the earth has been constantly slowing since that period of time, until we attained a 24-hour day. This means that the rotation of the earth was faster in the Permian period (the time of Dimetrodon), the Mesozoic period (the time of the Dinosaurs), and through all the ice ages afterwards.

Obviously, a faster rotation wasn’t a problem for complex life back then. Why would it be a problem for potential life on other planets with a faster rotation than earth? If modern living things couldn’t survive on an earth with a faster rotation (I don’t believe that, but let’s indulge the idea for a second), then obviously animals, plants, fungi and microbes that lived in eras where the earth had a faster rotation were obviously adapted to survive in an environment than living things in the modern world are not.

Just as alien life forms could be adapted to survive on planets with faster rotations.

4. What if, during ancient times, the Fijians of the Fiji Islands sailed down to Antarctica? What would they have thought about that vast region of ice and howling winds? Its obviously not suitable for the animals and plants that are native to Fiji, such as the Monkey Face Bat (aka the Fijian Monkey-Faced Flying Fox), Coconut Crab, Fiji Crested Iguana and Coconut palm. It’s too cold, has too great a wind chill, has no plant life, no true summer or spring, none of the marine species familiar to Fijians or their terrestrial wildlife, little if any fresh water (and what would be there would be too cold), etc. Antarctica doesn’t meet all of the parameters needed to sustain animal and plant life native to Fiji.

Would the Fijians conclude therefore that no life exists on Antarctica?

Perhaps they might…until they saw penguins there.

Likewise, just because most, if not all worlds in the universe don’t meet the parameters to sustain our form of complex life doesn’t mean that they don’t have complex life on them. Remember, we didn’t come about by chance, but by God, and God is a master artist with an unlimited imagination. Want to see proof of God’s great imagination? Look at a Duck-Billed Platypus. Look at a Giraffe. Look at a Crown of Thorns Starfish or a giant tube worm. The latter alone lives on the Pacific sea floor, in an environment without plants. It never experiences sunlight, has no stomach or true mouth, and yet “feeds” off Carbon Monoxide and Hydrogen Sulfide, poisons which would kill most other animals on earth. Once these gases are inside it, they are consumed by bacteria, which make up half of a giant tubeworm’s weight. Once these bacteria “poop”, the giant tube worm consumes their excrement. Oh, and by the way; they live near underwater volcanoes, withstanding temperatures that would make a Texas summer seem cold! Such an environment doesn’t meet the parameters needed for surface or even marine life that lives far above the habitat of the giant tubeworm, and yet…the giant tubeworm, along with other life forms at the bottom of the sea, survive and thrive.

And that, of course, is far from the limits of what God, the Artist of Artists, could come up with.

Indeed, at one time, it was thought by scientists that the deepest parts of the ocean could not support life. After all, it didn’t meet the parameters needed for life to be there; no sunlight (thus no plants), extreme cold and unearthly pressure should have made life (like ours) impossible, and it’s true, such an environment was not suitable for land animals or even animals that live in shallower waters. This concept was known as Azoic Theory, and it would be accepted by a scientific consensus for years.

And yet…it was overturned.

Several expeditions were finding evidence that the theory was wrong. The final nail in the coffin came in 1960, when the bathyscape Trieste reached the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the deepest part of the world’s oceans (11 kilometers).

There, Jacques Piccard, the Trieste’s pilot, spotted both a shrimp and a flat fish.

In other words, God made what was thought to be impossible to exist.

Our God is a God of the impossible (Matthew 19:26)!

True, the parameters needed for our kind of life to exist on other worlds could potentially be staggering (though as seen above, not as staggering as you think), but that assumes that life on other world would have to be like our kind of life, that God wouldn’t design living things to exist on different planets with far different environments. Why would God limit himself? After all, he’s made purely supernatural life forms (angels), so why not make biological life forms on other worlds that differ from those of Earth?

By now, we can see that such arguments against the idea of ETs are flawed. Indeed, its quite interesting that a lot of my fellow Christians try to use science to debunk the concept, even though science supports the idea that life exists on other worlds, and that some alien life will be complex. One could understand if Evolution was the subject, but alien life is the subject, and the Biblical message isn’t harmed by either the existence or non-existence of ETs (though as I’ve mentioned in another article, even evolution fails as an argument against God, let alone Christianity).

Indeed, as I’ve mentioned, the Bible doesn’t say yeah or nay on the issue.

Why?

Well, once again, the Bible isn’t intended to give all knowledge; its intended for us to know that God loves us. As Galileo once said “The Bible tells us how to go to Heaven, not how the heavens go.” It’s also seems obvious that God didn’t consider life on other planets important enough to mention, just as he didn’t consider mountains on other planets, volcanoes on other planets and ice on other planets as important enough to mention. God’s word isn’t a science treatise, but his message of love and reconciliation with mankind.

So, since God doesn’t say yeah or nay on the subject, how can we use the Bible to figure out whether there is alien life or not?

We can’t.

Indeed, if you study what the Bible says about such unclear matters, you would not even make the attempt.

Why?

Read on…

5. THE SECRET THINGS…

Moses gave a lot of speeches to the Israelites. In one of these, recorded in Deuteronomy 29, he goes over some of the recent history of the Israelites, as well as warning them not to stray from God’s word, from his teaching.

At the end of his speech, he says something quite perplexing:

“The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.”

Read that passage several times…then consider the fact that aliens are never mentioned in the Bible, that it never states whether aliens exist or not. Do this several times, then ask yourself…is the existence (or non-existence) of aliens a secret thing that belongs to the Lord? It obviously has to be, if God doesn’t say yea or nay on the issue. If God chose not to reveal the answer to this question, then it truly is a secret thing that belongs to him. This doesn’t mean that we can’t study this question scientifically (remember, the bible doesn’t mention ice, volcanoes, mountains and canyons on other worlds, yet we know they exist on them. We learned this because we studied this scientifically, not theologically). However, this does mean that God chose not to answer this question in his word. The Bible has FAR more important things to teach us, including Jesus and his gift of salvation. When it comes to aliens, we must never say that the Bible indicates that they exist or don’t exist. The Bible is unclear on this, which indicates that it is a secret thing that belongs to the Lord. We cannot therefore be dogmatic on the issue, saying that they exist or don’t exist for theological reasons. If we want to answer this question, we need to scientifically figure it out. God gave us the minds and the abilities to do this, and whether the ultimate answer to this question is yay or nay, either way we will learn more about God’s creation, and give further glory to God in the process.

Sources:

https://www.npr.org/2018/07/17/629396121/galileo-would-be-stunned-jupiter-now-has-79-moons

https://www.space.com/28807-jupiter-moon-ganymede-salty-ocean.html

https://science.nasa.gov/astrophysics/focus-areas/black-holes

“Alien Oceans: the Search for Life in the Depths of Space” by Kevin Hand, 121

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Alien_Oceans/mGW1DwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Ganymede+has+an+ocean&pg=PA121&printsec=frontcover

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/09/first-water-found-in-habitable-exoplanets-atmosphere-hubble-kepler-k2-18b/

https://www.spacecentre.nz/resources/faq/solar-system/which-planets-have-water.html

https://www.space.com/jupiter-great-red-spot.html

https://mars.nasa.gov/gallery/atlas/olympus-mons.html

https://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/imagegallery/image_feature_83.html

https://www.space.com/41554-water-ice-moon-surface-confirmed.html

https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/moons/jupiter-moons/europa/in-depth/

https://www.space.com/how-long-to-find-alien-life-iac2019.html

https://www.nasa.gov/feature/goddard/2019/nasa-s-hubble-finds-water-vapor-on-habitable-zone-exoplanet-for-1st-time

https://imagine.gsfc.nasa.gov/science/objects/bursts1.html

https://www.lpi.usra.edu/education/explore/ice/background/iceSolarSystem/

https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/difference-between-hypothesis-and-theory-usage

https://www.nasa.gov/specials/ocean-worlds/

“95 Worlds and Counting” Documentary

“Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed” Documentary

https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/encyclopedia-of-the-bible/Priests-Levites

“The Handy Geology Answer Book” by Patricia Barnes-Svarney and Thomas E. Svarney, 353-370

“The End Times-in the Words of Jesus” Documentary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PZ2Vfcx76g

https://historyforatheists.com/2018/05/jesus-mythicism-3-no-contemporary-references-to-jesus/

http://www.tektonics.org/jesusexist/jexfound.php

https://www.history.com/news/was-jesus-real-historical-evidence

https://www.ancient.eu/Jesus_Christ/

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Thales-of-Miletus

“Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible” (NIV), 867, 2244

“IVP Bible Background Commentary: Old Testament” by John H. Walton, Victor H. Matthews and Mark W. Chavalas, 509

“The Biblical World: An Illustrated Atlas” by Jean-Pierre Isbouts, 267-69

https://airandspace.si.edu/exhibitions/exploring-the-planets/online/discovery/greeks.cfm

https://www.swpc.noaa.gov/phenomena/coronal-mass-ejections

https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Broken_Bible/WLSgOByXmVIC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=UFO+sulfur+smell&pg=PA299&printsec=frontcover

https://www.ancient-origins.net/human-origins-folklore/do-you-dare-enter-fairy-ring-mythical-mushroom-portals-supernatural-003677

“Abduction: Human Encounters With Aliens” by John Edward Mack, 391

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Abduction_Human_Encounters_with_Aliens/gw4ex2zpcMgC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=UFOS+defy+laws+of+physics&pg=PA391&printsec=frontcover

“Unexplained!” (New Edition) by Jerome Clark, 424-25, 443,

“Unexplained Phenomena: a Rough Guide” by Bob Rickard and John Michell, 132-34,

https://www.murdoch.edu.au/news/series/series-articles/future-in-technology/will-travelling-at-warp-speed-ever-be-possible

https://www.google.com/books/edition/What_Is_Relativity/e9erAgAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=the+sound+barrier+could+never+be+broken&pg=PA28&printsec=frontcover

https://www.nasa.gov/audience/forstudents/k-4/stories/nasa-knows/ring-a-round-the-saturn.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15881271

https://airandspace.si.edu/exhibitions/exploring-the-planets/online/solar-system/mars/wind/dust-devils.cfm

https://www.nytimes.com/1999/07/06/science/alien-abduction-science-calls-it-sleep-paralysis.html

“Attack of the Killer Facts!” by Eric Grzymkowski, 218

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2005/09/alien-abduction-claims-explained/

“The Oxford Companion to Consciousness” by Time Bayne, Axel Cleeremans and Patrick Wilken, 351

https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Oxford_Companion_to_Consciousness/ICf-AgAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=incubus+old+hags++aliens&pg=PA351&printsec=frontcover

“Are you Dreaming? Exploring Lucid Dreams: A Comprehensive Guide” by Daniel Love, 48-49

https://careicahealth.com/news/corporate/2018/64/an-intruder-at-the-foot-of-the-bed-alien-abductions-and-other-sleep-phenomenons/

http://sleepeducation.org/sleep-disorders-by-category/parasomnias/sleep-hallucinations/overview-facts

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/narcolepsy/symptoms/hallucinations-and-sleep-paralysis

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Sleep_Paralysis/NErCCQAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=sleep+paralysis+alien+abduction&pg=PT192&printsec=frontcover

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Sleep_Paralysis/mtqmCAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=sleep+paralysis+hallucinations&pg=PA76&printsec=frontcover

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO13BSSjsYU&t=740s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mw2LCTQHMUI&t=405s

“Life Everywhere: The Maverick Science of Astrobiology” by David Darling, 91-116

https://sirtravisjacksonoftexas.tumblr.com/post/615429668528668672/was-there-animal-death-before-the-fall-were

https://sirtravisjacksonoftexas.tumblr.com/post/616937902725857280/is-genesis-1-scientifically-inaccurate-um-no

“Science: Was the Bible Ahead of its Time?” by Ralph O. Muncaster, 20-21

“Why are Scientists Turning to God?” by Ralph O. Muncaster, 26-27, 28-35

“Creation VS Evolution” by Ralph O. Muncaster, 10, 29, 36, 38-41

“Chased by Sea Monsters” by Nigel Marvin and Jasper James, 26-45

“The Complete Guide to Prehistoric Life” by Tim Haines and Paul Chambers, 13, 21-22

https://www.captaincookcruisesfiji.com/blog/fijis-plants-wildlife-look-holiday/

https://vacationinthetropicalrainforest.weebly.com/animal-life.html

https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Rough_Guide_to_Fiji_Travel_Guide_eBo/6FI4DwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Coconut+crab+fiji&pg=PT433&printsec=frontcover

“Weird Science: Mad Marvels from Around the World” by Matt Lake and Randy Fairbanks, 13

“Into the Deep” by Karsten Schneider and Peter Batson, 172-73, 196, 218

“Ocean Odyssey” Documentary.

“Alien Planet” Documentary

https://www.centerforgreatapes.org/treatment-apes/faqs/

https://www.livescience.com/24802-animals-have-morals-book.html

“Horizons: Exploring the Universe” by Michael Seeds and ‎Dana Backman, 57

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Horizons_Exploring_the_Universe/cMfWYFSITOgC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Galileo+bible+tells+us+how+to+go+to+heaven+not+how+the+heavens+go&pg=PA57&printsec=frontcover

2 notes · View notes

pkmatrix · 5 years

Text

The Order I Saw the Godzilla Movies In (Revised)

I recently revised my personal timeline of when and how I became a Godzilla fan when I realized that my “obviously wrong” memory of starting in January 1994 was, in fact, 100% correct. So, considering that, here’s the (rough) order I saw the Godzilla movies, how, and briefly my initial reaction:

1. Godzilla vs. Megalon - Circa 1990. This was the first Godzilla movie I remember seeing, a VHS copy my aunt bought for my younger cousin in the bargain bin someplace (wild guess: a Bradlees department store in Saddle Brook, NJ) . She'd put it on TV while my cousin and I were playing, but I never gave much thought to it. 2. Godzilla 1985 - January 9, 1994. My family was over at my grandmother's house for a family party on the day of the NFC Wild Card game between the New York Giants and Minnesota Vikings. I happened to catch a commercial for the 5 P.M. movie on WPIX-11 out of New York, which that day happened to be Godzilla 1985. I was going through a Dinosaur and Monster craze at the time (thanks to Jurassic Park and Power Rangers) and made a point of watching it because it looked like the COOLEST THING EVER. It blew my mind! I wouldn't shut up about it for weeks! 3. Terror of Mechagodzilla - January 15?, 1994. Since I was talking nonstop about Godzilla everyday since seeing G85, my Dad took me to the local videostore a week or so later and rented this, the only Godzilla movie they had, for me to watch. I remember being confused by this movie and didn't care much for it. 4. - 7. Godzilla, King of the Monsters, Mothra vs. Godzilla, Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, and Godzilla's Revenge - January 29 and 30, 1994. Shortly after watching ToMG, I found out that TNT’s MonsterVision was having a Godzilla night on January 29. I was SUPER-excited for it, and the marathon is really what cemented my fandom. I remember recognizing immediately that GKOTM was the original movie (and, for some reason, thought Goji's ears were horns). The marathon started at 8 PM and I stayed up to watch that one, falling asleep some time during Mothra vs. Godzilla. I watched the rest the next day on tape. That video was one of my most prized possessions as a kid, right up until I got the Simitar VHS set in 1998! Interesting to note: this broadcast of Godzilla vs. Monster Zero cut the entire second Planet X sequence. The characters leaving Earth with Godzilla and Rodan is cut off by a commercial break, and when the movie resumes is when Fuji and Glenn leave Planet X with the tape. While I saw screenshots of the sequence in G-Fan, from 1994 until some time in 1999 when I finally sat to watch the Simitar release of the movie, I was completely unaware the Godzilla/Rodan v. Ghidorah fight, the Godzilla dancing scene, or the scene with Glenn and the multiple Kumi Mizunos were actually real scenes and not just promotional shots. 8. King Kong vs. Godzilla - April 3, 1994. My family often merges my birthday party with Easter because the two fall so close to each other most years, and this was one of them. I received the movie as a birthday gift from, I believe, one of my aunts. I remember being surprised the movie existed at all, the idea that King Kong and Godzilla COULD fight each other hadn't hit me yet. After this point my recollection is vague. I'll give this in what I think is rough order. 9. Ebirah, Horror of the Deep - Spring/Summer 1994??? We got the 1992 Goodtimes release from a bargain bin, either in Kmart or Bradlees. I remember being disappointed by this one.

10. Destroy All Monsters - Summer 1994. My parents bought it from a shortlived kaiju/sentai/henshin stand my family discovered on the Boardwalk in Seaside Heights, NJ. It was by the Funtime Pier, nearish the Sawmill. The owner saw I was a wide-eyed kid who'd just discovered the fandom, and talked up the movie (I didn't need much convincing). 11. Godzilla vs. Mothra - Summer 1994. I don't remember buying this movie, but I know I saw it well before I saw Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla ‘93 because the tape had the early teaser trailer for it that mostly was showing off the poster, making the movie look way darker and more badass than it turned out to be. I’m certain I bought it from the same stand in Seaside Heights, and in fact it may have been the same day as DAM. I don't remember, though. I'm only certain I saw it before the end of Summer 1994.

12. Godzilla vs. Gigan - 1994/1995??? Our family's favorite videostore was this place on Main Ave. in Lodi, NJ, across from the Kmart. It was AWESOME. It had EVERYTHING. It had a huge Sci-Fi/Horror section and was single-handedly the biggest reason why I was able to see as many Godzilla movies as I did as a kid (as well as many Gamera movies, plus a bunch of other genre films, PLUS the classic Universal Horror films). The VHS was the the New World Video or '92 StarMaker release, I'm not entirely sure. The picture of Godzilla on the ground, appearing bloody and dead, was what caught my attention and made me rent it. I remember being surprised by how dark this one was.

13. Godzilla Raids Again - 1994/1995??? I spotted this one while browsing the videos in Lodi and was intrigued by the box art (it was the Video Treasures release). I've always liked this one a lot because it was a direct sequel to the first movie, because I liked both monsters' designs, and thought they had a really cool fight. 14. Ghidorah the Three-Headed Monster - 1994/1995??? Honestly? I don't remember. Either I rented it from the store in Lodi or recorded it off the TV. I don't remember how I felt after seeing it, it didn't leave much of an impression on me at the time. Now, it's one of my favorite Godzilla movies!

15 .Godzilla vs. Hedorah - Summer 1995. Rented the Orion Pictures VHS from the videostore in Lodi. I don't recall my initial reaction.

16. Godzilla vs. Biollante - Summer 1995. I went with my Dad to a supermarket in East Rutherford for groceries one afternoon, and while there we visited the videstore across the street. As had become my SOP by that point, I went to the Sci-Fi section and looked for Godzilla movies and I discovered it there. The cover caught me immediately, like GvMG2's cover it was SO COOL. We rented it, and I was doubly surprised to discover that this was a direct sequel to Godzilla 1985! AWESOME! Then, triply surprised by the violent opening sequence - so surprised that I actually ejected the tape to double-check that this was a Godzilla movie. By the time I finished watching it the first time, I had been permanently fixed as my favorite Godzilla movie. ^___^

17. Son of Godzilla - Summer 1995. Fairly certain we rented it from the videostore in Lodi. I liked this one and actually used to watch it a lot. 18. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla - Summer 1995. Rented the '92 StarMaker VHS from the videostore in Lodi. This quickly became one of my favorites! I later bought the GoodTimes "Godzilla vs. Cosmic Monster" version from a bargain bin in Kmart, thinking it was a different movie, only to discover that it was an edited down version of GvMG (I could tell since the StarMaker version had the opening scene with Anguirus, the Cosmic Monster version did not). 19. - 20. Godzilla vs. Super-Mechagodzilla and Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla - Summer 1995. While on a day trip to Sandy Hook in South Jersey I convinced my parents to drive all the way down to Seaside Heights so I could buy these, as I’d spotted them when we were in Seaside Heights last time. I watched Space Godzilla that night - this would be the first Godzilla movie I ever watched in Japanese without subs (it was a theatrical camcorder bootleg, I remember hearing the audience and seeing people getting up and walking around), I ate it up anyway. ^_^ I watched GvMG2 the next day while at a family party in Pennsylvania and loved it. ^_^ From this point forward the order is accurate. 21. Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah - Possibly 1996. I became aware of this movie when I walked into the Garden State Plaza's Starlog store in Summer 1994, I think, (long since closed) and spotted stills of Mecha King Ghidorah and Godzillasaurus. I ended up buying a subbed bootleg from The Outer Limits in Clifton, NJ in either late 1995 or some time in 1996. 22. Godzilla vs. Destroyah - Summer 1996 or 1997. I also bought this, subbed, from The Outer Limits in Clifton, NJ. I remember buying this one in the summer, and it having been a very long time after it came out, so I'm leaning toward it having been Summer of 1997. This was one of the last movies I saw before Zilla'98 came out. I remember liking it quite a lot, and eventually it became one of the most-watched Heisei films for me. 23. Godzilla (1998) - May 1998. Saw it at the Highway Theater in Fair Lawn, NJ. I remember liking it after walking out of the theater. I didn't "decide" that I "hated" it until I read the next issue of G-Fan and realized all the other fans had hated it, so I switched gears and claimed to hate it too. I didn't change my mind about it until I gave it a second chance in 2002. Today I'm mostly neutral toward it, my biggest criticism being that it’s really dull. 24. Godzilla 2000 - August 2000. Saw it at the Clifton Commons theater in Clifton, NJ. For some reason, I wasn't excited about seeing this one and ended up waiting a week before going. I remember walking away happy I saw it, but not crazy about it. It left little impression on me for years after, although more recently I’ve come around and nowadays like it quite a lot. :) 25. Godzilla vs. Megaguirus - Summer 2001. Bought this, subbed, from The Outer Limits in Clifton, NJ. I didn't care much for it (I also didn't find out about the after-credits sequence until it came out on video in the U.S. officially). 26. GMK - Summer 2002 or 2003. Bought this, subbed, from The Outer Limits in Clifton, NJ. Being a fan of the Heisei Gamera films by this point, I was pretty disappointed by this movie. I remember not liking much of anything about it. Since then, I've 100% reversed and its now one of my favorite Post-'80s Godzilla films. 27. Godzilla against Mechagodzilla - 2004 or 2005. Don't recall how I got this one, it might've been Christmas 2004. I liked it quite a lot at the time, and thus far has held up on repeat viewings. 28. Godzilla (1954) - Fall 2004. One of the last things I bought from the Outer Limits before the store closed. I watched it in my dorm room during my first semester of college and remember being amazed, it was like seeing the movie again for the first time. ^_^ 29. Godzilla: Tokyo SOS - 2005. Bought it from the FYE in the Paramus Park Mall, I think. I didn't like it at all. I thought it was a serious let down after GxMG, and felt that movie deserved better than a bad remake of Mothra vs. Godzilla. I've since revised my opinion and like it more, but still think it should have been better. 30. Godzilla: Final Wars - 2005. Bought it from the FYE in the Paramus Park Mall, I think. At the time I liked it and for years thought other fans were being too hard on it. After rewatching it again around 2013 or so, though, it plummeted through the floor to me and my opinion wasn’t nearly so high. I slowly warmed back up to it, eventually deciding to make my own fan edit which is now my preferred version to watch.

31. Godzilla (2014) - May 2014. Saw it at the Garden State Plaza in Paramus, NJ on opening night. Loved it! One of the rare movies I went back and saw again in theaters, and has only gotten better after the many repeat viewings since. ^_^

32. The Return of Godzilla - 2015??? Considering this was only a few years ago, I’m really sort of baffled that I can’t figure out when I bought this?? After years of waiting, I got impatient for an official U.S. release and imported a copy from Japan. It was wonderful to see the movie that made me a fan again after so long, even if it wasn’t the G’85 version, but I found the Japanese version surprisingly lacking compared to the Americanized version (which I soon after found a bootleg to compare). The lack of music and many of what I feel were poorer editing choices really hurt the Japanese cut for me, and to this day the pure Japanese cut of this film is my lead favorite version (my preferred, these days, is the Godzilla: Resurrection fan edit).

33. Shin Godzilla - October 2016. Saw this in, I believe, Fort Lee, NJ when it was having its theatrical run. Loved it! Second Godzilla movie I’d gotten my now brother-in-law to come see (I brought him to a screening of G’54 in New York City in 2014).

34. Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters - 2018. I saw this as soon as it hit Netflix and while I enjoyed it, my feelings have been mixed. I love the creativity of it, but it’s a pretty slow movie and not one I see myself returning to much. One of the only ones I don’t own a copy of.

35. Godzilla: Mechagodzilla City - 2018. Yeah, screw the official title of this, it’s Mechagodzilla City for me. I liked this one MUCH more than PotM, a truly inspired take on the Godzilla and Mechagodzilla rivalry. Very much enjoyed! Also don’t own a copy, since Netflix has yet to give it a physical release.

36. Godzilla: King of the Monsters - May 2019. Saw this one in theaters at least twice, once in I believe Secaucus and again in Holmdel. I think I saw it once more in Paramus, too. Unbelievably enjoyable movie, and easily one of my absolute favorites of this year. ^_^

39. King Kong vs. Godzilla (Japanese Version) - December 2019. Finally got a chance to sit and watch this recently thanks to the Criterion set. Loved it!

38. Godzilla: The Planet Eater - 2019??? Okay, time to come clean: I technically haven’t actually seen this one yet. ^^()

1 note · View note

kyluxtrashpit · 5 years

Text

Hello naughty children, it’s 1 am rant time

So! My brain is slightly more together now than after the trailer first dropped and I’ve had some time to process all my Feels. I’ve settled on cautiously hopeful, with a hint of apprehension and a strong dose of ‘oh my god, this is really the end’. But overall, I think I feel pretty good about it, though it really raises more questions than answers. They meant it when they said ‘teaser’ lmao

(Rant is mostly positive, includes explicit discussion of what we’ve learned from the panel and the trailer. Some reservations and negative thoughts, plus a lot of speculation and touching on such controversial subjects as Reysky, Kylo redemption, and Hux in TLJ. Cut for length because I have no idea how to just use fewer words lmao)

I especially liked that it was so focused on Rey and that it’s a very clear torch-passing. Which, tbh, probably should’ve happened before now and did a little bit, but this really felt like the true moment of it. She’s the hero. She’s going to be a legend. I love that. Also that flip? Holy fuck. Slammed in the face by the reminder of how gay I am lmao. I have some Thoughts about it I’ll get into below, but from a visual point of view, it’s RAD AS HELL. I also love Finn and Poe featuring heavily and that the trio really does seem to be together for most of the movie. Which is nice. I think we need that. JJ said something in the panel about it being an ‘adventure’ and I think that feeling was captured well in the trailer. That part really excites me

Also! My boy! Kylo’s looking like a right hot mess and tbh I’m here for it lmao. I still have a strong urge to bathe him and kinda hope he doesn’t look like a depressed wreck of a human being for the entire movie, but still. I love my big messy boy. Also him just yeeting that dude into the ground? DAMN. I sometimes forget that Kylo is like… b i g. It’s a nice reminder. I also LOVE that the broken helmet rumour was real. That’s my fucking boy. I frequently tag him as ‘my precious disaster boy’ for a reason and I’m glad to see more of that. I would honestly probably lose interest in Kylo completely if he was ever like, calm and composed and not a complete fucking mess lmao. I kind of wish we’d seen just a touch more of him, but I know there’s more info to come and I still like that it focused heavily on the heroes for the first one. I imagine we’ll see more of him later

I’m… not really sure what to think of the Palpatine reveal. If he’s going to show up as a cameo of some sort, say as a Force ghost or something, then that’s pretty dang cool. If he’s going to show up as a ‘hello naughty children, it’s Force lightning time’ and take over as the main threat, I’d admittedly be disappointed. As much as I think a Kylo redemption is likely (and whether people like that or not, I’m indifferent and have made my peace with it as long as it’s done in an okay way) in no small part because Disney likes money, I still feel like replacing him with Palpatine is just… it feels derivative. We’ve had Palpatine before. A lot. 6 movies of him plus his appearances in the side materials. Do we really need more?

Now, there’s been heavy suggestion that there is some unknown threat that comes into this one and if that’s Palpatine, it would match up with the rumours. But I’d much rather it be something from his legacy with him only having a cameo. Because the really terrifying part about Palpatine is he had a plan for the continued survival of the Empire even in the case of his death. The Aftermath novels are really well done that way and tbh, especially with Chuck Wendig’s hinting on twitter, I wouldn’t be surprised if we see something from there come up. I mean, technically the entire First Order is Palpatine’s legacy. Something from his legacy could truly be anything and I like that possibility a lot more than just ‘oh damn, time to kill this asshole again’. Idk. We’ll have to see how that plays out

The title is also curious because it really confirms one of 2 possibilities: either Reysky, Kylo redemption, or both. Which, again, both of those are huge spoilers, so it’s an interesting choice to play for a title. That said, we don’t know which, so it doesn’t tell us definitively, I suppose, but still. And no, I don’t buy the theories about it referring to Luke or Anakin somehow returning; that would be stupid. We have new characters for a reason and they need to be the central focus. This is the same reason I’m not fond of Palpatine being the big bad; let the new villains shine. I also don’t believe it’s Leia because I doubt they had enough left over footage of Carrie to make that work

Of course, I would’ve enjoyed having a nice 0.2 seconds of the back of Hux’s head lmao, or even any info on the dark side characters at all because I’m a filthy villain fucker, but I’m not super upset about it. I’m kinda sad that Phasma is confirmed as dead, but I also expected that. My biggest hope for Hux is really that he gets to be scary and not treated as a joke, so I hope JJ really leans in to that. Let him have his moment. Let him be a credible threat because, really, he is. Tbh, I’d be more afraid of him as my nemesis than the vast majority of Star Wars villains. He’s got a higher kill count than anyone in all of Star Wars except maybe Palpatine himself (exact number of deaths due to the Clone Wars, the Empire’s rule, and the rebellion combined are unknown, but are probably in the billions, which would put him and Hux, terrifyingly, on the same level). It still throws me for a loop how often that’s forgotten, both by fandom and, sometimes, the official material. Hux is what happens when ambition, intelligence, ruthlessness, and fervent belief in a cause converge. I know he’s going to fail and he’s going to die in this one but, fuck, please let him die as the Starkiller instead of a ‘miscast tinkerer’. He deserves that much and, more importantly, so do I lmao. And Domhnall does too, tbh, because he’s a great actor who deserves better than being sidelined completely

(Another reason not to like Palpatine coming back: basically guarantees Hux has no role and gets completely forgotten because there’s a new big bad in town. I might actually cry if that happens)

I also know we will get more on the villains later, so we’ll just have to see how that pans out. As for other new stuff, Naomi Ackie’s character looks rad as fuck and I love her already. I’m also ECSTATIC to see Lando back. I fucking love Lando. And he finally got the Falcon back! Tbh I hope his role is rather significant and it’s kinda in line with Han’s role in TFA. I’m excited by that possibility. Also the Leia scenes… fuck. That hug with Rey fucked me up hard. I can’t believe we’re doing this without Carrie and it breaks my heart tbh

Another curious note: so we see a tie fighter that looks like a modified Silencer flying at Rey. We also see Kylo in a cockpit that definitely does not match the Silencer’s from TLJ. So it’s possible that was not actually Kylo flying at her, which raises some interesting questions. I saw some people saying they could see Poe’s jacket in the window but I think they’re full of shit and just seeing something they want to lmao. It remains to be seen who is actually flying it. The context of that scene is also odd: in what fucking universe does it make sense to use a SPACE craft with GUNS capable of atmospheric flight to run someone ON FOOT over from like 3 feet off the ground? It doesn’t. That’s stupid. That does make me think it’s possible it’s some sort of really risky training exercise, no matter who is behind the controls. I suppose it is possible that perhaps the guns were disabled somehow and the pilot is just going for broke, but the ship looks undamaged and that strategy still doesn’t make a lot of sense. The correct thing to do would be to come from above and crash it into the person while ejecting moments before impact, not chasing them like you’re driving a car. It’s dumb. I really hope that’s not real combat because it makes no damn sense to me lmao. Another reason lending to the training exercise idea: if I were Rey, I would’ve gone below, not above. She’s small. A tie fighter hovers. She would’ve fit under it easily and been able to slash from below without having to jump into the damn sky. Though, counterpoint: she has her lightsaber ignited and is turning to slash at the cockpit. Not really a nice thing to do to an ally of yours helping you train, hm? Idk. The scene looks cool as fuck, but the more I think about it, the more it bugs me tbh lmao

As a last thing… it’s really hitting me that this is it. This is the end of the Skywalker saga. Even though I know they have other stories planned with new characters at some point, imo, this is really the end of the true part of the franchise. How much am I really going to care about Star Wars without the familiar faces? After decades… this is really it. That’s… very bittersweet. I have loved these movies, always, but especially so in recent years (as evidenced by the existence of this blog lmao) and they’ve been a big part of my life. Yet here we are. And I just… I’m feeling melancholy about that in and of itself, but I also really, really want this to be a satisfying ending. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but I want it to fit. I want it to feel right. I want closure and I want this ending to do justice to these characters, including the main ones, the side ones, and the ones who came before but aren’t featured in this trilogy. That’s really what I’m aching for here. And I am cautiously hopeful, but I am also nervous. This is a very tall order and, while JJ is probably the person best qualified to give that to us, it doesn’t change how much of a challenge that is. It’s a lot. And… I am definitely sad about this being the end. Even if I love the movie and it’s amazing and lives up to all of my dreams, it will still end and this will be it. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to feel when that actually comes and it kinda scares me a little. But a satisfying ending would help soften the blow, so we shall see. Idk. I’m sad and a little scared just because of that, all other reservations aside

I think that’s all I’ve got for now? I’m excited for more and I don’t know if we’ll get much over the rest of celebration, but there might be snippets. I’d still like to see the Knights of Ren too, given that we’re pretty sure they’re in the movie but like… where? Lmao I want to know. Anyway. This is mostly word vomit, so don’t take it too seriously. My predictions could be way off base and we won’t know for a while so yeah. If you read this far, congrats and thanks for reading my rambling!

#so like I guess overall I'm hopeful but I still have reservations #and no matter what this being really truly over is... a lot to take tbh #so idk. mixed feelings I guess #but there was definitely some good stuff and I feel more excited about star wars than I have in a long time #even if it's not at the same level as it has been #positive is still positive so we shall see #I still want more info lmao #like just someone leak the entire plot already please I want to read it XD #shut up nerd #text #meta

13 notes · View notes

chemicalmagecraft · 5 years

Text

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter12

A/N: Thank you BlindSwordsmanNaru and Ultimate Pervy Sage for answering my question.

xoxoxo

I trembled with excitement. We were boarding a bus that would take us to an off-campus facility designed to train us in rescue scenarios. Sure, the combat training was pretty cool, but the first time I ever saw All Might, what made me really want to be a hero, was a video of his debut, which was a rescue operation where he single-handedly saved one hundred people. And here we were going to learn how to do that! Why wouldn't I be excited? Plus I was wearing my hero costume again! "Everyone please gather in two single file lines!" Iida said. He was really taking his duty as class rep seriously. Though I suppose that is why I made his class rep... We got on the bus, which, it seemed, wasn't exactly the kind that Iida was expecting when he made us form lines.

"I like being straightforward and saying what comes to mind," Asui, who was sitting next to me, said. "Midoriya."

"Yes, Asui?"

"Call me Tsu," she corrected. "I'm going to be blunt. Your Limit Break power reminds me of All Might."

"Yeah, that's right!" Kirishima said. "It's super manly!"

I gulped. She was really perceptive, wasn't she? Luckily, I'd prepared an explanation for it that didn't involve One For All. "It might look like it, but I think it works differently from All Might's Quirk," I lied. "I call it Limit Break, but really it's just me using a skill I got for getting all of my stats above fifty."

"So your Quirk gives you special powers for increasing your stats?" Tsu asked.

"Y-yeah. I only got one skill for each individual stat, but they each made the stat I got them from work better, I guess is a good way to say it. And the WIS skill was what gave me access to all four elements."

Tsu nodded. "Sounds useful. How does Limit Break work, exactly?"

I winced internally. It looked like I couldn't just distract her away... "It isn't exactly like the traditional video game limit break, but I wanted to keep with the video game theme because my Quirk gave it to me. The way it works is that I have a second MP bar that just... doesn't have an upper limit. That's not to say that I have infinite power, but whenever my actual MP bar is full, the second bar stockpiles MP for later use. I can't use the second bar to fully power any skill, but I can use it for part of the cost. What makes it really powerful, though, is that I can use it to power up not just skills but STR and DEX too. Of course, the reason I don't use it all the time is that there's some backlash from using it." I put my hand my head. "Of course, my Quirk makes damage just a number, but I don't really want to find out what happens if my HP reaches zero..."

"I think it's pretty awesome!" Kirishima said. "It's super flashy too, unlike my Hardening." He demonstrated his Quirk by hardening his arm.

"I think your Quirk is awesome too," I said. "It's the sort of Quirk that could be really useful in pro hero work."

"Yeah," he sighed, "but I'm not that sure I'll be too popular... You've gotta factor in how cool it looks in the pro hero biz."

"My Quirk is pro-level in strength and flashiness!" Aoyama offered.

"Yeah," Mina said, "but it also gives you killer stomach aches..."

"Oui..." he sighed.

"If you're talking about flashiness and strength, the kings of that in 1-A have to be Todoroki and Bakugou," Tsu added. Kacchan perked up a bit on hearing his name.

"If I had to pick one of those two for a popularity contest, though, I'd have to pick Bakugou," Uraraka said. "They're both pretty standoffish at first, but if you get past that Bakugou's kind of a nice guy."

Kacchan blushed a little and turned to face the window. Pyra appeared next to him and said, "That's 'Kacchan' for thank you."

"SHUT UP!" Kacchan yelled at Pyra. "And how the hell are you physical? I didn't summon you!"

"Speaking of elementals," Tokoyami said with a slight grin. "Would you like to see mine, Midoriya?"

I smiled. "Of course!"

From Tokoyami's cloak a dark haze emerged, taking the form of a young boy in black, bird-themed armor, a basic elemental. It looked like he had a sword and shield behind his wing-shaped cloak. His eyes were red, with black sclera. "My name is Corvo," he said.

"My elemental is a dark knight," Tokoyami said proudly. Corvo demonstrated his power by radiating some darkness despite physics saying that that was impossible.

"Hey, I got an elemental too!" Uraraka exclaimed. A purple-and-blue glow formed from the air next to her, condensing from gravity itself to form a young girl. Much like Blaise, her skin was midnight-black, but she also had sky-blue patches on her cheeks. Her eyes, or at least what I think were her eyes, were a solid yellow. Her blue hair, pulled vaguely into pigtails, was nebulous and glittered with stars. She wore a simple purple dress with a crescent moon on the center.

"Hi," she muttered. I didn't see it much but I think her tongue was also yellow...

"Her name's Nebula," Uraraka offered. "She's a little shy. I'd show you guys what she can do, but we're in a bus and I'd rather not flip us over or destroy the suspension..."

Iida nodded. "A wise decision. Perhaps she'll get her time to shine at the training facility. I certainly heard a lot from my brother on how useful gravity manipulation could be after I told him about your Quirk. By the way, you might receive an internship offer from Team Idaten sometime in the near future."

"I also made an elemental!" exclaimed Hagakure. A light shined from her invisible hands, and from that light came a girl in a silver-colored sundress. Her hair and the fur on her foxlike ears and tail were the same silver color. The only thing on her that wasn't silver was her white, fluffy scarf. "Isn't she cute?" Hagakure asked.

"Hi, everyone!" the elemental exclaimed with a blinding smile. "My name's Lucy!"

"Man, I wish I had an elemental," Tsu said. "Even without the whole 'manipulating the elements' bit, you guys have friends that you can summon at any time."

I Observed her. "Actually, Tsu, it looks like you have water affinity, which means you should be able to summon a water elemental."

"Oh. Cool. Thanks, Midoriya."

"We're here," Aizawa said, then the bus stopped. "Everyone out."

Outside of the bus, a person in what looked like a marshmallowy space suit was waiting for us. "I'm glad you're all here," they said. "I can't wait to show you my facility."

"Ohmigoshit'sThirteen!" Uraraka shouted, stars in her eyes. "They're one of my favorite heroes!"

"Thanks! Uraraka, right?"

"THIRTEEN KNOWS MY NAME!" She started searching herself for something. "Oh man I wish I had something for you to sign and a pen to sign it on!"

"Um... isn't it a little rude to ask someone for an autograph when you've just met?" Nebula asked quietly.

"Thank you for your concern, random small child that I've been told is actually some sort of elemental spirit, but I actually really like meeting fans. If you find something to sign, I'd love to sign it for you."

I pulled a piece of cardstock paper and a pen out of my inventory. "Don't worry, Uraraka, I made sure to put multiple sixty-four stacks of multiple different kinds of paper in my inventory just in case someone needed paper. Or to eject at villains like a poorly-managed sylladex."

Uraraka gladly took the paper and pen from me. "You're a literal angel, Deku! I'll make sure to make it up to you somehow." She gleefully got Thirteen to sign it, but then just stared at it. "Crud, what am I going to do with this?"

"I can hold on to it for you," I offered.

"Great," Aizawa-sensei said dully. "Glad that we got that sorted out. Now unless anyone else wants an autograph, let's go inside.

xoxoxo

"I designed this facility to simulate several disasters heroes might need to help out in," Thirteen said as they showed us the various disaster areas of the facility. "I call it the 'Unforeseen Simulations Joint.'"

"So it's Universal Studios Japan?" multiple members of the class muttered at once.

"No, that was not at all a factor in the naming," Thirteen said in a flat tone that made me feel like they weren't telling the truth. "In fact I only learned of the existence of that place after I named it." Oh look at that, Observe implied that they were lying.

"Thirteen, where's All Might?" Aizawa-sensei asked. "Did he forget about this and schedule an interview or something?"

"Oh, uhhh... I need to speak to you about something over here," Thirteen said. They took him out of earshot of us and said something that involved them holding up three fingers. I heard a few small pops to the tune of Shave and a Haircut, the sign Kacchan came up with to ask me to invite him to party.

Kacchan: dumbass used up his time for the day didnt he

Kacchan: and stop changing my name to kacchan deku

He wasted no time in PMing me.

Deku: Hey, I set my name to Deku, didn't I?

Deku: And yeah that's probably what happened. I saw something about him stopping some villains on his way to work.

Kacchan: shouldnt he be getting better? youve been using your healing spell on him every fucking day

Thirteen started giving a cool speech about their Quirk, Black Hole, and how Quirks could be very dangerous if misused. It was nice, but I also had to focus on PMing Kacchan.

Deku: It's not that simple. For one thing, Healing Hands isn't that strong, all things considered. Yes, it's a very good spell, but I'm pretty sure that I'd still have trouble healing anything much worse than a light fracture.

Deku: Second, All Might's time went down a lot after giving me his Quirk. I think he's still stockpiling MP, but it seems he's doing it less. Eventually, even if I make him be in even better condition than before AFO, I think he's still going to run out of power.

The BGM shut off, as did the USJ's lights. I noticed some sort of black mist coming from the fountain in the center of the facility, and it seemed I wasn't the only one. A man with powder blue hair and disembodied hands clamped all over his body emerged from the mist, followed by a crowd of other people.

Death on Two Legs

LV 61

Shigaraki Tomura

At level twenty-three, he was thirty-eight levels higher than me. And over the mist, there was another title.

Purple Haze

LV 57

Watanabe Kurogiri

"Hey, I didn't think we were starting already," Kirishima said. "Who are those guys anyway?" The BGM came back, but... that wasn't feel-good field trip training music. That was ominous music.

"Everyone get back," Aizawa-sensei barked.

"I don't recognize all of their names," I said, "but a lot of them are actual villains." I was especially worried by the giant, black-skinned, bird-looking man with an exposed brain standing next to Shigaraki.

LV?

Nomu

There was just something... off... about him. And I couldn't Observe him, which was offputting considering how the only other people that applied to were high-ranking pro heroes.

"I see Thirteen and Erasor Head," I think it was that Watanabe guy that the deep voice was coming from. "Odd. All Might should be here."

"Aw, and I brought a whole raid party for him," Shigaraki complained. "Let's hope he comes out when the kids start dying."

Aizawa's capture scarf unfurled. "Thirteen, protect the students and contact the main campus."

"It seems one of them has a Quirk that is blocking the sensors," Todoroki said. "With how prepared they are, I doubt we'll just be able to call for help."

"Good catch, Todoroki. Kaminari and Midoriya, you two have powers or equipment that can be used to contact others. Use them. I'll hold them off."

"But how?" I asked. "Your Quirk is best used in ambush or one-on-one fights."

"A hero can't just glide by doing what their Quirk is best at." With that bit of wisdom, he was off. He took out three long-range-type Quirk users before they even realized what had happened. I instantly became a lot less worried for him and joined my classmates in running like hell.

"You're not going anywhere," Watanabe said as he rose from the floor. Or a portal on the floor, according to Fuckery Detection. "We are the League of Villains," he monologued. "Pardon the imposition, but we have come to murder the symbol of peace." His misty body spread out. "I hope you don't mind too terribly."

"LIKE HELL WE DON'T!" Kacchan screamed as he and Kirishima charged Watanabe. Smoke from an explosion clouded them from our sight.

"A commendable effort," Watanabe said as the smoke cleared, revealing him to be relatively unharmed, "but if you persist in your endeavors, I fear you'll both wind up dead."

"Get back, you two!" Thirteen yelled.

A chuckle emanated from Watanabe's body. "Don't worry, Thirteen. You won't have to worry about that soon enough. After all, my job in this operation is to scatter you all to the four winds!" With that, he exploded into a thick purple haze that engulfed us all. After a few moments of disorientation and a sudden change to my minimap, I found myself in the air over what looked like a lake.

"Ah, crud."

xoxoxo

A/N: I know Corviknight isn't dark- or ghost-type, but it honestly fit Tokoyami better than anything else I could think of (including Murkrow) and I really like the idea of a corvid-themed dark knight. And the reason why I wanted to know whether Uraraka would play Sun or Moon, by the way, was to decide whether Nebula would eventually "evolve" into Solgaleo or Lunala. The answer is Lunala, as seen by Nebula's dress having the Derse crescent moon. And finally, Hagakure got a shiny Eevee. But what will this Eevee evolve into? That's for me to know and you to find out.

Oh and by the way, I don't suppose you guys could suggest any hundred-stat skills? Spoiler alert, but Izuku may or may not finally be dropping some Skill Points and I only have like a few that I've thought of. That would be very much appreciated.

#The Gamer Hero Deku #Gamer Hero Deku #GHD CH12 #fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #bnha

1 note · View note

pmwrites-blog1 · 6 years

Text

The Loverboy Trials - Chapter 1

(Complete)

It didn’t take long for everyone to learn about what almost happened at Haggar’s battle cruiser. It was strange to experience the retroactive fear, like a bite that stings but doesn’t quite puncture the skin. Keith was safe, at least.

Nobody’s said a word in ages. The clinking of their utensils against the not-porcelain bowls bounces off the walls far too loudly, setting Lance’s teeth on edge. He dares a glance up from his goo. Everyone’s head is down, focused on anything but eye contact.

This is not what he imagined in a reunion dinner feast.

Continue on AO3 or-

This is not what he imagined in a reunion dinner feast.

It’s the fifth time Hunk has cleared his throat in the last twenty minutes when he finally sets down his spoon. Lance internally winces. The big guy’s barely touched his food and the creases around his eyes are just a little too strained for the friendly smile he wears.

“So, you had, like, a space parachute. Right?”

Oh, Hunk.

What Lance thinks must be the most horrible silence in the universe stretches into a small eternity across the table then. He looks at Keith, who sits frozen in his old chair, almost normal again in his stupid jacket and t-shirt. Almost.

“A parachute wouldn’t work in space, Hunk. It’s a vacuum.” Keith’s eyes are downcast as he says it, already knowing that he can’t fix this or make it funny. He tries anyway. It doesn’t feel like anyone breathes. “You’re an engineer. You already know that.”

Fuck, say something, say something, say something, make a joke, McLain. Bring normal back – come on!

His mouth is too dry.

Hunk laughs. “But you were going to eject out of there.”

Keith doesn’t answer. Hunk must decide that he just doesn’t have an appetite tonight because he gets up after a moment and leaves without a word. No one tries to stop him. Keith doesn’t so much as twitch a muscle. Lance thinks this must be what tense holiday dinners with backwards family feel like.

Shiro finally looks up from his plate with a cough. “Have you decided yet? Do you think you’ll go back with the Marmora right away?”

Keith meets his gaze, thankful for the change in topic. “I don’t know. If you think I can be useful here, then I’ll stay to help with the rift stuff.” There’s something a little hopeful in his voice that must be contagious because Lance feels it too.

“Keith, you’ll always be handy to have around here. It’s your choice, and I’m not sure what Kolivan’s plans are for upcoming missions, but we’d be ecstatic to have you back.”

Keith leans against the back of his chair, arms crossed. It’s not an abnormal position for him to be in. But, Lance catches the dark circles under his eyes, even though the small smile he offers Shiro, how his skin is afflicted with an unhealthy pallor.

“Yeah.” He tries to keep up the grin. “It sounds like you’ll need all hands on deck soon. I might as well stick around.” He looks down. “...At least until then.”

It’s not a perfect answer, but it’s just enough to let everyone ease up a little and return to their food.

A beeping starts suddenly, and Lance recognizes the sound as a communication request. He waves the rest of the group off. “You guys finish eating. I got the phone.”

“Not a phone, Lance,” Pidge calls.

“Figure of speech, Pidge!”

The jog to the bridge is quick. At his chair, Keith’s old chair, he opens the lineup. It’s not a distress call; they just want to join the coalition. He prepares himself for a long boring talk about resource contribution and a bunch of other politicking he’s picked up from Allura. They’ve put the line on hold while they gather council members to join the call. Before they can get to it though, Shiro comes over to his station and reads over his shoulder.

“You know what? They’re not too far from us. We have time. We might as well all visit in person, stretch our legs a little.”

Lance looks up at him, puzzled. They haven’t bothered negotiating diplomacy in person since they figured out their broadcasting network months ago. They don’t have time – not if they’re going to beat Haggar to the rift. “Shiro, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

Without even looking at him, Shiro starts typing into Lance’s station, downloading the coordinates. “Matt and Coran can handle things here. Besides, Slav needs time to work out a plan for closing the rift for good, and we’re not going to be much help there.”

Lance stands up to face him. “Yeah, maybe not you or me. But Pidge and Hunk are, like, super geniuses.”

“Lance, I understand what you’re saying, but…” With a sigh, the leader leans in to whisper, hedging a glance back towards the dining room. “Now is not a good time to split up the team like that again. Considering…recent events.”

“Then we shouldn’t go. Shiro, I’m all for some relaxation, but this might be the last chance we have to regroup at home base for a while,” he pleads one last time.

Shiro dismisses him again, and Lance tries not to let the sting burn too much. “Think of it as a bonding activity. Awkward diplomacy like the good old days.” Shiro claps his shoulder again with a warm smile and Lance does his best to return it.

They’ve landed in a large plaza in the center of a shining city. It has high glittering spires that rake through the clouds like fingers. The people look about ninety-five percent humanoid. The other five percent attributes to a stiffness Lance has never seen on Earth. A stiffness, a paleness, an aura of discomfort like they have a ruler up their ass. The kind with the metal sliver on the side that you threatened to slit a kid’s neck with on the playground.

Lance positions himself in formation with the rest of the team as they exit the ship. Keith steps up beside Lance and pulls his hood to cover his face.

Keith hasn’t said for sure if he’ll return to the Blade. But he isn’t wearing his paladin armor either. Lance can admit that he’s worried about it. He half-expected that Keith would put the armor back on for this. That he wouldn’t leave it gathering dust in the castle for another minute. Lance has thought about offering Red back to him. He’s thought about asking if Keith wanted Red back. He’s thought about just talking to him in general.

A representative comes to greet them. She’s followed by an entourage of officials all dressed flowing, floor-length robes, which seem contradictory to their harsh countenance. They appear color-coded to occupation or something. The representative has a mint color. She approaches Shiro and the group begins to walk.

As they walk up the stairs, Hunk shoots Lance a pointed look, eyes darting between him and Keith as an eyebrow raises. Lance waves him off until he shrugs and falls into step with Pidge.

Lance sticks close to Keith’s side. It kind of hits him then that this is the first time in months that he’s had someone to walk next to. He hadn’t noticed it before, but before he left, he was always at Keith’s side: walking with him, standing with him, glaring with him. Lance has missed the simple sound of their footsteps echoing in synchronization without even knowing it.

They follow the mint lady around the citadel for the grand tour. Keith continues to sulk, so Lance nudges his elbow.

“Okay, is it just me or do these guys seem way too proper?” He puts on his best mischief smirk as he whispers, hoping to draw Keith into their old line of banter.

Keith blinks. “What?”

“Like, they’re so formal! It reminds me of when my mom would make the whole family dress up for a portrait every year.”

Keith tries to hide it, but Lances catches the smallest twitch of a smile. “Well, they’re meeting the defenders of the universe. I guess it’s a big deal to them.”

“No, no, no, no, my bro. I think they’re like this all the time. Like, this seems normal to them.”

“Okay. So what?” Keith starts to look more amused, which, is great. Score one for Lancey-Lance.

He grins and leans over into Keith’s space so no one will overhear. He senses the other boy tense next to him but brushes it off. “So I bet that means they’re secretly giant kink-freaks.”

Keith laughs through his nose, trying to keep quiet as he snickers. Lance practically beams at the reaction. “Why did you put that image in my head? Gross.”

Lance bumps into his shoulder good-naturedly and wraps an arm around him. Very bro-like. “Like, okay. Hear me out: Miss Diplomacy up ahead. Can you imagine the things that must go on after they clock out at four?”

“No!” he hisses between gasping laughs. “Don’t even go there. You’re disgusting – don’t make me think about that!”

Lance grins, high on that sweet, sweet validation that comes from greatly improving Keith’s mood. It’s nice to see him relax again, goofy and easy-going like he was before. He wants to keep it up, push it further, coast on this line of banter as long as he can. It’s a wonderful grooming for his ego, but he forgets to remember that he can take things too far.

“Yeah, not really what I’m into either. Personality is important and I get the feeling they don’t do casual. Plus, she’s the leader and probably too old for me.” He does a quick scan around the room, eyes randomly sticking to a girl that looks much closer to his age. He can’t really tell much about her from the formless clothes, but he knows a nice jawline and pretty eyes when he sees ‘em. “But her? I bet I could get her to loosen up. ” He winks and waits for the laugh.

It doesn’t come. Just like that, it’s gone – the amusement. Keith’s eyebrows drop and he yanks himself away from Lance’s hold, a mask of indifference washing over him.

“Can you control your annoying mouth for one mission?”

Lance reels. Because it’s been a while since Keith has actually sounded angry with him. About anything. And they’ve had some light arguments about his flirtations before. They never escalated.

He pushes down the urge to get defensive. This is about something else – he can feel it. “Whoa, whoa, Keith –” He reaches for his arm. He doesn’t know what he did wrong, but he doesn’t want to fight. Not when they just got him back. Even if Keith is being kind of a salty bitch.

“ Not now, Lance.” Keith jerks away, the motion so harsh that his hood falls from his face.

That’s when everything dissolves into one big clusterfuck.

Several gasps echo around them. Lance realizes they’ve been led to some sort of council room, so the acoustics for the dramatics gasps around them are great. The two of them look around at the stunned faces of the officers who had been walking with them.

“It cannot be –”

“It’s uncanny!”

“A true blessing!”

The rest of the paladins gaze warily at the murmuring crowd around them and realize all at once that every single pair of eyes is fixed on Keith.

The robed aliens make a beeline for the former paladin. Keith looks ready to fight, but a firm stare from Shiro restrains him. They’re here for diplomacy. Lance tries to stay close, but the council members swarm them too fast for Lance to remain by Keith without getting violent.

“You must come with us at once,” they insist.

“What? Why?” Keith backs away as they reach for him. “Hey! Hands off!”

Lance gets pushed to the edge of the frenzy. “What do you want with him?!” he demands.

The woman they were following earlier steps aside as the rest ignore Lance and press Keith out of the chamber. Lance catches a desperate glance thrown his way. He moves to follow but is held back by a guard he hadn’t even noticed positioned at the entrance.

The woman smiles at them, but it does nothing to settle their nerves. “They are taking him to the temple.”

“The temple?” Hunk asks.

“Yes! He is clearly an incarnation of Amans.”

Pidge adjusts her glasses. “And that is who, exactly?”

“The capital’s patron god. The god of desire, sensuality, and fertility.” Lance feels his jaw drop, but can’t be bothered to close it.

He can tell Shiro is struggling to remain collected, face contorted uncomfortably. “And why do you think Keith is your…sex…god?” And geez, that would be so much funnier if this wasn’t so disturbing.

She only chuckles, and it’s then that Lance realizes how much this lady is getting on his nerves. She leads them to the back of the council room where she pulls aside a large curtain. Behind it, a huge mural stretches to the ceiling.

It looks exactly like Keith.

#klance #klance fanfic #keith #lance #klance fluff #complete fanfiction #mistaken identity #slow burn #bamf lance #hurt/comfort #humor #hunk #broganes #vld fanfic #not season 5 compliant #post s4 #vld season 4 #getting together

31 notes · View notes

dark-unimaginably-stupid-kids · 6 years

Text

Take the Edge off [Complete]

Fandom- Voltron

Pairing- Klance, Shallura, with some general “Everyone loves Lance.”

Rating- Mature (I mean dicks do not appear (if you don’t count the towel incident) but they are mentioned and there is a heavy make out sesh.)

Length- 11,716 words

Notes- It’s all in second person and I literally churned out the last 20 some pages between files at work and cleaning at home. So. Good luck. Also this would be Keith’s 19th birthday making Lance 18 and Pidge 16 but still very much treated like the baby of the group.

Warnings for technically under aged drinking but Lance has a point.

You don’t initially like the taste of it on your tongue, but you figure if he’s doing it then it’s got to be worth it, right?

It burns on the way down and you’re feeling even more inclined to stop, but you glance up at him through shy lashes and there’s that stupidly endearing smile on his lips and your heart thuds loudly in your chest and you just want to feel closer to him.

So you take another drink.

---

This morning you woke from bed planning to do just what you do every day in the castle of lions. Train, eat, train, save the universe from certain peril, try not to stare at Lance, train some more and pass out.

But somehow you’d lost track of the days.

Well, not somehow, you’d been actively avoiding considering the days for some time now. In fact, the second you got Shiro alone you were going to chew him out for even mentioning it to the others because why on earth—or anywhere else for that matter—would you want to celebrate your birthday?

You spent so many of them miserable and alone and it was just a constant reminder of your useless existence—

“It won’t be too bad Keith, I promise, you might even enjoy yourself a little,” Shiro says over breakfast while Hunk goes on about tonight’s “Party Menu.”

“I don’t want a party Hunk, I mean—thank you, really. Just. Can’t we just act like it’s any other day?” You try.

You try but Hunk just rolls his eyes at you, “Uh? No. Besides, we could all totally use the break. Just relax and enjoy it birthday boy.”

“No one gets out of being fawned over Keith, it’s your turn,” Pidge volunteers bluntly.

You spare her a scathing glance because you remember her birthday and how quickly she’d gone from, “It’s no big deal” to “I’m the birthday princess bitch!” after some choice “fawning” that you were absolutely certain was not going to work on you.

Just because she eventually got into it did not mean you would.

“It will be fun,” Allura pressed, the warmest of her smiles ebbing away at your very soul. Most days Allura’s overwhelming warmth was a welcomed intrusion into your head but today you quietly wished you’d never left your room and thus never had to look at any of them.

“Gah…!” you groan to no one in particular, vaguely resigning to your fate. The last birthday had been Lance’s and that had actually been a pretty great night spent playing games and laughing and—okay, maybe you just enjoyed the excuse to be around Lance while he was in too good of a mood to let himself get annoyed by whatever you could possibly do to annoy him.

Which was plenty, you’d been told.

Speaking of, “…Where is Lance anyway…?” you say out loud, awkwardly betraying the fact you’d been thinking of him.

Thankfully, the only one of your friends who catches the slip is Pidge who lets out a little throaty scoff and says nothing.

It’s Coran, over a mouth full of something that once resembled Hunk’s attempt at space pancakes, that answers you, “He ran off looking for the mice this morning.”

“The mice?”

Coran shrugged, “s’what he said.”

“Don’t worry about it Keith,” Pidge started after Coran’s words left you quiet and slightly confused, “I’m sure he’d never miss your party.”

None of them thought this statement was at all strange but you felt your chest cease up a bit and you really wished she’d stop.

…

It was her fault, after all, that you were so actively aware of Lance now. She’d come into your room one night, scared the artificial daylight right out of you, and went on a small very personal tirade sitting on the floor next to your bed before you could even register it was her.

“I think,” she’d said finally, “I think I’m ace.”

This woke you up and you immediately crawled off your bed to sit next to her on the floor.

“Well. That’s. uhm. Cool?”

“Is it though? I mean—I used to see people get a lot of flak for it. And I mean, just cause I’m not like… super into kissing anyone or anything doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally want someone to hold my hand or anything and like… wouldn’t my being ace… I dunno, turn people off to wanting to be like that with me? I mean. When they inevitably realize that I don’t… want…” She was so small here next to you and the doubt leaked into her voice so surprisingly easily you weren’t even really sure you were talking to the same girl you fought alien armies with.

Frankly, it bothered you tremendously, but you were not the priority that night, she was and for some reason she had come to you. So.

“Well first off you’re like fifteen and I don’t think you should even be thinking about sex,” you say, hypocritically because you’ve been thinking about it for years when you first noticed how attractive certain classmate’s lower abdomens were in the middle school locker room and how everything would get sort of fuzzy around the edges of your brain for a while after that.

But this was different because this was Pidge and in the short amount of time you’d known her you’d grown to see her as a little sister to be protected and kept far away from terrifying things like penises.

She laughed lightly and rolled her eyes but didn’t look at you.

“Secondly,” you continue, “Sex really isn’t everything. Pidge, you are brilliant and strong and kind and beautiful and someone is going to be made giddy just for the gift of holding your hand.”

“But what if they want more and I don’t—”

“Then they will respect you and not do anything or they’ll meet the business end of Voltron’s sword.”

She chuckled again.

You love that sound. Hell, you love any positive sound coming from anyone of your new family members, bonus points if you helped them make it. It made you feel like you were actually doing something right for a change.

“And third,” you reached for her hand, intertwined your fingers, and held it tightly in yours, “You can hold my hand whenever you want.”

“Yeah,” she laughed outright, a little snort at something she secretly found so funny, “Never have to worry about you wanting something from me, huh?”

Nope! Of course not because—

Wait.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You hope you sound as incredibly confused as you are rather than in any way annoyed or accusing.

“Well, cause I’m a girl, duh?”

You blink at her.

She blinks back.

“…Are you trying to tell me you’re still in the closet?” She croaked out suddenly.

Then it makes sense, why Pidge would come to you with this kind of thinking.

“Oh.” Is the only thing that comes out of your mouth.

“I-I mean I won’t out you or anything!” Pidge squeaked suddenly, probably realizing all the toes she could have been stepping on. Eventually you just shake your head.

“Ah. Well I mean. I’m not hiding it or anything I’m just. Surprised you knew? I mean, it’s not like I wear a big ol ‘gay orphan’ sign or anything.”

She flinched at your wording but you’re the one who said it so you can’t bring yourself to consider it.

Her turn to shake her head, “You actually kind of do though? Cause like- I could have sworn from the second we got all these lions together and started our great big mission to defend the universe that you were just—you know. Into Lance.”

Whoa there.

Whoa.

You’re being gay was one thing, not a new development at all, not something you actively felt the need to advertise because it was as much a part of you as your hair being black or the freckles on your shoulder. But being into Lance?

“w-where did you get a crazy idea like that?”

“The way you look at him?”

“Uhm?”

“talk to him?”

“…”

“study him”

“--!” was it getting warmer in here??

“You also get this really cute stutter sometimes.”

At this point you have to release her hand so you can cover your face.

“I-I don’t have any-any idea what you’re t-talking about.”

“That. That stutter. It’s diabetes inducing adorable and it only comes out around or about Lance. Keith come on, you can’t possibly expect…” She twisted herself to look at you head on but suddenly you can’t really think anymore.

You’re just.

Thinking about him and your heart might be beating a little faster and you are suddenly so fucking aware—

“G-god no I… I don’t…I can’t…”

Okay you’ve been in space for a little while and maybe your options on who to think about while laying alone in your bed at night may have been pretty limited and you knew it was wrong and you knew that their being your fucking comrades in arms really wasn’t going to make for acceptable ways to think about them so maybe you’d limited yourself to the one and maybe you thought it was safe because in the waking hours he was just too much of a pain for you to accept how stunning he was but then—

Then he started behaving and then his sarcasm and his jokes and his flirtatious tendencies became endearing. And he was interesting and fun and his smile could light up the room and grazing his arm while walking down the hallway together would send sparks of electricity down your skin and maybe your nights weren’t spent thinking about him aesthetically anymore but instead you were thinking about how he said your name and how his eyebrows would knit together and the sweet encouraging things he could say and—

“…I need to be ejected into space. Good bye Pidge, it was nice getting to spend this time together.” You announce, dropping your hands from your face and staring at the wall straight ahead of you.

She punches you in the shoulder, “Don’t even joke you can’t leave me here.”

You stare at her, sure that your face is conveying how distraught you are at the softening look on her face before you shout, “why the hell am I into Lance?!”

And then she grins.

You really, really wish she hadn’t.

“If it helps,” she starts slyly, “I’m pretty sure he’s into you too.”

You shove her so hard in the side she topples over, “SHUT UP. No he doesn’t. Wow. Pidge.”

Pidge rolls onto her back, holding her side and laughing like a small bespectacled hyena, “Oh my god you just did that. You should see your FACE.”

“PIDGE.”

She wipes the imaginary tears off her face and holds her hand out to you, her shoulders still shaking with her restrained giggles, “Still wanna hold my hand?”

You bite your lip, grab her hand and pull her back up to a sitting position. You don’t let go.

“You’re a jerk.”

“You love me.”

“I do.”

“Not as much as you love Lance.”

“Pidge. Please for the love of all that is holy don’t ever say those words in connection to each other ever again.”

…

It’s been a few months since then but your face still burns furiously at the stupid thing your heart decided to do to you. Pidge seemed to be doing just fine coming to terms with herself, and whenever she felt particularly affectionate she had no issues cuddling up to one of her boys, even Allura had gotten an awkward nuzzle that had surprised her but otherwise gone quite well considering Allura’s immense desire to bond with Pidge. But that was a different story altogether.

One your way out of breakfast, Shiro jogs to catch up with you.

You’re still prepared to slaughter him and grin broadly when he says he wanted to go train with you.

Yes, Shiro, let’s make it look like an accident.

Of course, you would never purposefully hurt your closest companion in the entire universe but sometimes you allowed yourself little innocent daydreams where you for once have the upper hand and he’s screaming uncle.

Especially when he starts talking.

“I actually told Allura about your birthday months ago. There really was no way to avoid it.”

“Really? Really? All you gotta do is not say it. Why was that hard?” You growl out.

He rolls his eyes, “Nah you’re right, clearly I should have lied and said you didn’t have a birthday, you are a figment of our imagination and thus were never actually born yeah?”

He nudges your side and you roll your eyes this time, “The correct response is, ‘It’s no big deal, you don’t need that information.’ Shiro.”

Shiro wraps an arm around your shoulders and though you’re still talking he pulls you back so you’re pressed against his chest. You can hear his heart beat, steady and strong and it’s so soothing to you it almost causes you to melt into him on the spot.

Shiro is alive. Shiro’s existence is the one worth celebrating. Shiro is warm and safe and so many wonderful things.

“It is a big deal Keith, we five paladins of Voltron are defenders of the whole goddamn universe and every single one of us is so incredibly important we should stop and thank the stars in celebration that we were all born. You, most of all, the one who fought so hard and brought us all together. You deserve a happy freaking birthday, Keith.”

Your mind wanders to Allura and Coran, sure that either of them could take your place if need be, sure that it all would have gone the same without you, maybe better without your emotional wreckage self mucking everything up.

But then Shiro kisses your forehead and you breathe deep through your nose and he smells like home.

“Enjoy today, okay?” He says, lips still pressed lightly to your skin.

“Fine.”

“Hey guys, is Keith being a big ol’ grumpy pants again?” Your heart jumps into your throat and Shiro pulls up quickly but doesn’t release his hold on your shoulder.

“When isn’t he.” Shiro started with a chuckle in his throat before changing the subject, “we missed you at breakfast today, Lance.”

The blue paladin stands at his ridiculous height in his ridiculous pajamas and nods, “had some stuff to do. Hunk saved me some grub I’m sure. Right?”

Shiro laughed and you pull out of his hold, for some reason painfully aware of how that might look to someone who didn’t know how close the two of you were. Despite, you know, Lance does know how close you are. It shouldn’t be an issue but you feel the tension ease once your adopted brother’s arm is off your shoulder.

“What were you doing Lance?” You ask carelessly. Maybe a little short. Maybe a little suspicious.

“None of your business, Mullet.” Lance answers back without missing a beat before clapping Shiro on the arm, “Alright, I’ll see you guys tonight. Enjoy whatever it was you two were heading off to do yeah?”

Then he rounded the corner and was gone as quickly as he’d come.

Your heart did not recede from your throat but you don’t think Shiro noticed.

...

You retreat to your room after sparring with Shiro. He works you hard and you are desperately in need of a shower and maybe a nap. Once clean of the sweat and your muscles are starting to relax you flop yourself down onto our bed wrapped in a towel and hear the faint squeak of a mouse that had been disturbed.

It’s the little angry looking blue one that if you were honest was probably your favorite of the three.

“Hey little guy, what are you doing in here?”

It scowls a little bit but reaches up with its little hands and you see there’s a small piece of purple felt stuck to its skin. It tries to pull it off with one hand but it just gets stuck to the other as it wiggles and tries to swat it off.

Must be some really soft material you think, before offering the mouse your finger and easily removing the cloth, one calloused finger against a little prickly rat paw.

The rat beams at you, offers its thanks with a bowed head, and then bounds under the bed.

A few minutes later it returns with more stuck to it and expects you to help him again.

“…” You do, of course, but this time you decide to follow him under the bed and there you find something extremely strange.

It is, for all extents and purposes, a small stuffed hippo.

The other mice as sleeping on it, one opening its eyes every time the little angry one tries to make himself comfortable and ends up getting stuck again. He rips his hand free and pulls the hippo apart a little more before realizing you’re watching.

“What do you guys have here…?” You ask finally before reaching under your bed and picking it up.

The sleepy mice get to their feet, startled at being tossed off their new bed and there’s some stuffing leaking out of the hippo’s arm were the first rat had kept trying to make itself comfortable.

The material is extremely sheer and not appropriate for being made into a stuffed animal at all, but the stitching is solid and its very clearly a hippo which brings a small smile to your face.

“Well. This is pretty cute…”

There’s a knock on your door and without waiting for a reply the person on the other side simply lets themselves in.

Its in this millisecond you remember you are only wearing a towel that is choosing just now to fall loose what with all your maneuvering to get the hippo out from under your bed.

You try to tighten the towel but only manage to pull it lose and the ridiculous shriek that breaks from Pidge’s lips as she immediately shuts the door behind her is something that will follow you for the rest of your days.

Until she says to the door and potentially those beyond the door, “NOPE. NOT TODAY. YOU SAW NOTHING.”

With your heart beating a mile a minute you cover yourself properly, put the hippo down, and turn to stare at her in absolute shock.

“…Pidge…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Pidge.”

“I’m sure he didn’t see anything.”

Your heart stops like it crashed into a wall at its breakneck speed, “W-who…!”

“He just wanted me to check your room for the mice. I’msorry.” She says the last bit without a breath and is still facing the door because she clearly doesn’t realize you’ve covered up again but that really doesn’t matter.

“Ch-check for t-th-the mice?”

Who was looking for the mice earlier.

Who was outside that door and got a flash of—

“….I need to be ejected into space.”

“Keith, no!”

…

It had been a couple hours since the crowning moment of your mortification shooting through the castle of lions roof and it probably should have concerned you that you hadn’t seen the object of your miserable affections since but you’re just too relieved that you don’t have to look him in the face.

“Am I—I’m not… unattractive or anything…right?” You mumble to Pidge over dinner. You two are the only ones in the dining room right now as for whatever reason everyone else is off doing “party preparations” and your dear friend Pidge, destroyer of your life, has opted for not leaving your side.

At your inquiry, she pauses over her space juice, straw between her lips.

Slowly, she opens her mouth in an almost slack jawed expression. She lowers the juice to the table and turns to look you straight in the face looking for all the world like you’d just grown a second head for a solid minute before she finally speaks.

“Keith…have you seen yourself?”

“Right…” you mumble dejectedly, “You’re right. I’m too pale. And short. And weirdly proportioned and maybe I’m not working out right—”

Pidge throws her now empty space juice at you, “WE ARE NOT DOING THIS.”

You flinch at the space juice but otherwise you’re sure your expression doesn’t change from your general dread and self-deprecating thoughts.

She seems to notice your sincerity finally and looks utterly dumbfounded.

“Oh god there is no way you don’t realize you’re pretty. No.”

“Pidge, I’m a guy. I’m not supposed to be pretty.”

She groans deep in her throat and turns her incredulous look up at the ceiling, “I can’t believe this. Look. Keith. I just saw you naked. There is nothing wrong with you okay?”

You look at her for another long moment before sighing and looking down at your plate of food goo.

You then jump onto the next train of miserable thoughts. What if there’s nothing wrong with you but Lance still just doesn’t find you attractive? What if you’re just not his type? What if it doesn’t matter if you were drop dead gorgeous like Shiro or Allura he just can’t stand you point blank. What if—and this was long shot because you were pretty damn sure about this one—he actually was straight?

You push your plate across the table and lay your head down where it used to be, “Yeah okay. I don’t even know why it matters it’s not like it makes a difference one way or another.”

“Makes a difference to what?” She asks you softly, noting your discontent.

“You know,” you start, the faint blush building in your cheeks judging from the vague temperature change, “Lance…?”

She scoffs, “Anyone ever tell you, you think too much about nothing?”

“Ouch Pidge.”

You nearly jump out of your skin as the object of discussion lets himself in to the kitchen carrying a large box in his arms.

“I’m totally not nothing. But I digress, what were ya’ll talking about me for?”

He puts the box down on the table and stares pointedly at Pidge who simply smirks at him in response, clearly trying to play off the conversation to avoid the point.

“It was just like I said, nothing,” she laughed.

Lance looked thoughtful for a moment before finally letting his eyes dart over to you and you feel your pulse quicken.

His cheeks darken just the slightest bit and he immediately looks away from you and back at Pidge.

“Oh, right. You guys are talking about what happened earlier right?”

Pidge twitches, clearly having hoped to avoid this. You start to rise from your seat, prepared to bolt out of the room.

“L-Listen, Keith, I didn’t see anything okay? Just. You know. Just a flash of white. Maybe a little bit of pastey ass but I promise it was just a second yeah? No big deal.” He laughed, put emphasis on the words “pastey ass” and scratched behind his neck.

You can feel your soul departing from your body as Pidge slams her palm onto her face.

“God you did not just say that.”

“P-P-Pidge. I’m gonna. I’m gonna go now. Okay? Yeah?”

“Keith no—”

“It’s no—nothing, we can hang out later okay??”

You can’t look at him. You can’t even walk out the door he came from and immediately turn and bolt out the back exit. As the door slides shut behind you Pidge starts to shriek and you can barely make out the words: “You utter IDIOT Lance!”

…

It’s another hour before Pidge is back to bother you again. Knocking on your door this time.

“It’s time for your little. Party. Family bonding time. Thing.”

You groan and pull a pillow over your head from your position moping in your bed.

“Come on Keith this isn’t optional, and you know it!”

“I thought we already got him to agree earlier? Did something happen?” That was Allura’s voice now.

You briefly wonder if you can crawl through the vents to the airlock.

But this is Allura, and Allura always wins. (You have high hopes for this war really.)

So somehow you’re sitting in the common room while Hunk offers you baked confectionaries, Shiro relaxes on the couch some paces away, Coran and Pidge are trying to rig what looks like small radio to play the music off of Lance’s phone while the blue paladin himself is sitting on the floor next to Allura taking miscellaneous objects out of one of the boxes he’d been carrying around earlier.

“Why didn’t you get the music set up earlier with the rest of us?” Lance called to Pidge absently.

You should have been paying attention to Hunk and his soft smile and all the effort he put into making cookies in space, but Lance’s voice just cuts through most things lately.

Pidge growls out her retort, “I was actually hanging out with the birthday boy unlike some people.”

Lance scoffs, “We’re gonna do plenty of hanging out now. Yo Mullet! You done over there?”

You cringe, noticing suddenly that your still vaguely holding a cookie and haven’t finished chewing the bite that’s sitting, deteriorating, in your mouth.

You swallow, thank Hunk, and then the two of you walk over to Allura and Lance who have set up a board game.

“Okay so I have no idea what this game is called but-”

Allura says something that may have been a cross between a sneeze and bird squawk.

“Yeah, that.” Lance laughs before continuing, “But! I figured a way we could just play Clue using the pieces.”

You raise a brow, “…Clue?”

Lance blinks at you and Hunk reaches over to place a steadying hand on your shoulder. There’s pity there, you note with vague annoyance.

“Well. This is gonna be a long night. Alright Keith, let’s talk about Mr. Body.”

…

Much to Lance’s annoyance, you win four out of the five rounds you play of the game. Lance wins the first one because it was mostly instructional. A small part of you wishes you could stop being a dick and let him win but once you get the hang of it you’re just having too much fun figuring out what’s in the little yellow envelope.

Hunk doesn’t really care about the game, too amused that you’re both playing female characters.

“Bro, they’re color coded. We have to be Mrs. Peacock and Scarlet. It’s just. How things are.” You mumble idly. Lance nudges you good naturedly in the shoulder.

“That’s Mr. Peacock to you!”

Hunk laughs, “You want to be Mr. Scarlet Keith?”

You look at him like the concept is ludicrous, “I’m totally fine with being Miss Scarlet.”

Allura takes it one step further by claiming Professor Plum but stating that a professor can be whatever gender and she has no obligation to specify anything.

Pidge shouted from the radio, “Mah Babe!”

The princess shot her a smile and a few minutes later what with the princess having suddenly inspired her, Pidge shouts again “Got it!”

And now there’s music, something Spanish you’ve never heard before but Lance’s eyes light up in that way that makes your heart race and he’s standing and pulling Hunk away from the board shouting that he should dance with him.

You stay on the floor, arm tossed over your bent knee carelessly while you watch them. Hunk is a little clumsy but he seems to be used to this while Lance is a flurry of arms and hips swaying to the beat.

You imagine it would make you jealous that he’s dancing with Hunk.

But you’re just so distracted by the smile on his face and occasionally the thrust of his hips that you can’t be bothered.

Allura coughs into her fist off to your side and suddenly you realize your mistake.

You feel the heat rush to your face and you peel your eyes away from the boy of your dreams, mentally rushing through words to try and deny how he’d just been caught ogling his teammate.

Allura just smiles that knowing softness warming your chest as the two very different heats rage in your system and all you can do is huff and wheeze like a deflating balloon.

She giggles, “Don’t worry about it Keith, I’ve known for a while. And honestly, Lance probably likes the attention.”

You choke and glance back at Lance just in time to catch his head turning back to Hunk, a laugh breaking out of his lips and it makes you weak.

…

You’re so tense you don’t know what to bloody do with yourself. You also don’t know where they got the sheet with the colorful dots and you absolutely do not want to play.

“Can you believe Alteans had Twister?!” Lance gleefully shouts as he lays the sheet down in the open space of the common room.

Coran interjects, “We called this game “Back Breaker Lite”, the full game involved specific poses on a third spinner that was just splendid fun! But they were a bit suggestive, when Allura wanted to play I had the spinner burned.”

The group takes awkward note of the bright grin on Coran’s face, but no one says anything.

Well, almost, but it doesn’t look like Lance can help himself, “I wanna see suggestive poses people had to do while playing Twister. I mean. It’s twister. It’s bad enough.”

Coran blinked at him.

You turned around and wandered back to the table covered in snacks and opt for chips this time. You have no idea where the chips came from, but they are not home made and look like your regular lays potato chip.

They are not, your regular lays potato chip.

You choke and shuffle for the closest cup of questionable liquid before downing its contents to try and sooth the burning in your throat. The drink somehow manages to burn more but in a very different way.

You feel the twitch in your eye as you look down at the cup and the big L scribbled on the side of it, decorated with one large slanted star at the end of the letter.

“Hey! That’s mine!” Lance shouts suddenly.

Of course, you know this now.

“What… what the hell is this, Lance?” You mumble, on second thought you realize he probably can’t hear you from his distance as you stare at the star and consider Lance’s signature, but when you look up there he is, right in your face, the game completely forgotten.

“It’s whiskey. I think. At least it tastes like it. If you wanted some you just had to ask,” Lance explains, taking the cup and casually taking the rim of the cup between his teeth.

As if that same rim hadn’t been in your mouth two seconds ago.

One of his brows raises suggestively for just a second and you imagine it must be in response to the shock on your face but as soon as you notice it it’s gone, and Lance is shuffling away with another cup in his hand and a sharpie in the other.

You realize too late he’s shuffling away because Shiro is suddenly perked up and walking over, “Whiskey? Lance?! You’re drinking!?”

Lance has wandered over to one of the boxes on the other side of the table and is kneeling before he takes one long finger and hooks it over his cup, releasing it from his mouth and rolling his eyes at Shiro.

You can’t see him roll his eyes, too distracted by his fingers, but you can hear it when he talks.

“The legal drinking age in Cuba is sixteen. Also, we’re in space. Chill Shiro.”

Pidge decides this is the opportune moment to slip herself into the conversation, “Oh! Can I have some then?”

Lance and Shiro immediately and in perfect unison shout back to her, “No!”

The girl sulks, “Fine then. I’ll just steal some when you’re not looking.”

“Left foot green Allura.” Hunk’s voice starts. Apparently, they’ve started the game without you and this makes you feel far more relieved than it should.

Allura is standing on the sheet with Coran but she waves at Pidge, “Pidge get back here, I need to put my foot on you.”

“Ha-ha, very funny,” but she returns to the game anyway. Coran is already making things difficult by leaning over Allura to put his right hand down on the farthest yellow circle.

“Lance are you playing?” Hunk shouts and you turn your attention back to him, only now realizing exactly what he’s doing as he is now holding two full cups.

“Next round for sure,” Lance announces. He makes his way back to you and offers you the new cup, scrawled across the side you can see the K and another star. It makes your heart a little fluttery, if you’re honest.

“I uh- I didn’t really…” You try but Lance simply pushes the cup into your hands. Finally you manage, “The chips were hot. I wasn’t…”

Lance blinks at you for a minute, putting the pieces together before he shrugs, “Well that doesn’t mean you can’t have any now. Besides I poured it for you. It’s yours now.”

If you’re really honest, finishing Lance’s drink earlier was already starting to make your head feel fuzzy. You don’t drink. So you say this.

And that’s when Lance’s eyes light up. Not in that unbridled joy or soft affectionate way but in surprise and understanding.

“Oh! Oh, okay. I mean I can just give it to Hunk that’s not a problem, you don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.”

Lance reaches for the cup that’s still held in your outstretched hand but you reflexively pull it back. This confuses him. It confuses you too really.

But in that moment the only thought in your head is: He got it for me.

You take a sip, it’s slightly sweeter than what his drink had tasted like. It’s still harsh and biting, but you know there’s something else in the drink.

“Did you put space juice in here?”

Lance smiles. Yup, there it is. “Well yeah. I actually put in a little bit of effort for yours.”

You’re so unbelievably warm and you’re sure you haven’t had enough to drink for that to be the cause.

Then you realize Lance is drinking it straight.

You’re slightly frightened by this prospect and reflexively take a longer drink from your cup. Lance grins, “Is it good?”

You’re not sure how to answer that. It’s still better than earlier…

You’re sure you’re getting fuzzy though and you watch Lance take a deep swig from his own and the wetness on his lips as he lowers the cup makes you light headed.

You don’t initially like the taste of it on your tongue, but you figure if he’s doing it then it’s got to be worth it, right?

So you take another drink.

It is kind of good, you guess.

He licks his lips.

It is very good.

“It’s… Okay.” You feel something in your head just shut off. Your shoulders go slack.

“Cool. If this is your first-time drinking remember to pace yourself. Keep yourself hydrated and don’t drink too fast okay?”

You nod, and he continues quite to the contrary of what he just said, “Oh! We should totally play a drinking game after this!”

You try to tell him that is definitely not a good idea, but he ignores you for the sound of Pidge shrieking as Allura lands on top of her, Coran the only one left standing and cackling victoriously.

“Alright I’m in!” Lance then proceeds to finish his whiskey before slamming the cup down and shaking his head with a stupid little smile on his face and an attractive flush on his cheeks.

You lean back against the table then and watch him jump onto the pile of their friends, dragging Coran down with him.

Pidge shrieks again but it’s immediately followed by laughter.

Shiro eyes you curiously but doesn’t say anything about the way you keep your cup pressed to your lips and watch the next couple rounds.

…

You’re not sure what time it is or who’s the last to topple twister before everyone moves to sit in a circle on the ground to play Lance’s drinking game.

You’ve finished your cup and half a cup of water though you’re not sure where you left it. You really weren’t paying attention because your head was too full of the acrobat that was the blue paladin who only lost a round when someone else took him down with him and he was definitely giving Coran a run for is money.

Now they were playing never have I ever.

Which was fine. Simple. At first.

You informed them that you’ve never seen snow. Pidge had never owned a pet. Hunk never had one of those dreams where you went to school in your underwear.

“I did have a dream where I went to school with out my headband though! It was like being naked I guess.”

Lance glared at him, “It absolutely isn’t Hunk. It absolutely isn’t.”

But then it was Pidge’s turn again and she announced without a hint of shame, “I’ve never kissed a boy before.”

You wince.

Everyone else drinks.

Everyone.

Pidge stares at you bewildered. You try not to think about it, instead you consider how Lance did.

And your eyes dart to him and his eyes are shooting between you and Shiro and maybe if your head was less fuzzy you’d be wondering about that but you’re still just thinking about what other boy Lance could have kissed.

But then, of course, you were 900% sure they guy was bi. He could have kissed anyone, well before their trek out to space even.

“Guess no one has to question Keith’s sexuality.” Hunk jokes. Lance kicks him in the side though he knows Hunk doesn’t actually mean anything by it.

And the words slip out of your mouth before you can catch them, “Well I mean I’m gay so.”

Hunk is the only one surprised by this, “I guess you do…?”

Pidge rolled her eyes, “No you were right the first time. You really don’t.”

Coran and Allura eye each other like they don’t really know what the term “Gay” means and simply had no opinions in regard to boys kissing other boys.

Lance’s speaks next and he looks like he regrets the words as soon as they’re out of his mouth, “Yeah we knew that but how have you and Shiro not kissed yet?”

Shiro chokes on his drink which is more coffee than anything and tastes absolutely heinous. “Excuse me?”

You seem to have forgotten how to breathe.

“Lance! He’s like my brother!”

Lance eyes you then, his eyes somewhat sad. You’re not sure what your expression says to him but you know you don’t like where this conversation was going at all.

“I’ve never kissed Shiro,” You say with finality, not meaning for it to be for the game but Allura makes a show of taking a sip of her drink before smiling brightly in Shiro’s direction who goes beat red immediately. Clearly she does this to break the tension and she succeeds.

The circle burst into varied chuckles and laughs, and she looks quite proud of herself though Lance looks slightly confused and laughs the least.

Then it’s Hunk’s turn.

“Never have I ever… Gotten needlessly jealous and snuck whiskey into a totally wholesome party to chill myself out before.”

No one moves, confused by how specific Hunk had decided to be.

Lance’s eyes look a little darker if you think about it.

Finally Pidge reaches over and pushes Lance’s cup closer to him, “Drink up, Lance.”

You eye the blue paladin over the rim of his cup as he holds it up to his lips, shooting Pidge and Hunk dirty looks as he does so, “It’s not really whiskey, it just tastes like whiskey…”

While he drinks you eye his Adams apple and you feel your throat going impossibly dry again. You wonder why he was jealous. Then of course you remember Allura had at some point since their journey began kissed Shiro and you figure that’s as good a reason as any.

You sigh and idly take a sip of your drink while Lance takes his turn and it takes you a moment to realize why he’s staring at you like you’ve grown a second head.

“What…?”

“You have?”

“Have what—OH!” Right. Yes. You’re playing a game. “What did you say?”

“Never have I ever danced on a bar.”

You choke. You eye Shiro who’s back to looking like a smug asshole. You take another drink.

“Keith!”

“There are reasons I don’t drink I guess.” You mumble to no one in particular.

Lance shuffles off to his phone which has been playing music at a lower volume since twister and proceeds to pick a particularly up beat song and raises the volume

“Guys, new task, gotta get Keith white girl wasted and see if we can get him to dance on the table. Birthday special. Come on,” He announces. Pidge grins like the evil little gremlin she is and Hunk feigns a sympathetic glance while Allura, dear sweet Allura, speaks up.

“And who exactly would that be a birthday special for? Certainly not Keith if he ends up so far gone he can’t remember the evening!”

Suddenly, without any kind of warning, you’re reminded that Lance saw you naked today.

Lance saw you naked and said you had a pastey white ass and then proceeded to get jealous because Shiro and Allura kissed.

You only realize you’ve finished your drink because Allura and Pidge are both looking at you with different levels of concern.

Then Pidge shrugs, “Well I guess that means Keith is down.”

Lance grin’s and takes his little KStar cup for a refill.

You notice Pidge steals a swig of Lance’s currently abandoned drink when Shiro isn’t looking and you start to wonder if that’s a good idea or not.

It makes sense though, since Lance’s drink is the hardest.

No wonder Pidge is as far gone as she is on stolen sips.

You wonder if you’ve departed somehow yourself, if you’re behaving any differently. It’s been a couple years since the bar dancing incident where Shiro had to come save your drunk ass with your fake ID and your extremely low tolerance.

Perhaps your lack of alcohol consumption had built your tolerance?

No it goes the other way.

Maybe it’s just the fact it’s space whiskey so it’s not really affecting you much.

Lance sits back down, closer to you this time and you can smell his shampoo.

His face is just So. Perfect?

That jaw looks edible.

God it’s hot.

He’s hot.

The room is hot.

“I think I wanna change…” You mumble, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

Lance glances down just in time to see your fingers tentatively lift your shirt off the lowest part of your stomach and you might have noticed him panic ever so slightly.

Then he takes your hand and pulls it off your shirt and places it on the ground between the two of you. Your not sure if you turn your hand around and give his a squeeze before being released or not. You might have imagined it.

“Okay never mind to that last thing…” Lance mumbles, placing your cup down on the ground, “When was the last time you had some water Samurai?”

You’re about to say you can’t remember when you eye Pidge’s little grin as she skims more of Lance’s drink, he’s attention so completely on you that he doesn’t realize. She even goes so far as to give you a thumbs up. Shiro might be nodding off against Allura’s shoulder so she’s getting more brazen.

Allura and Coran appear to have noticed this but don’t seem to care.

“Uhm…” You mumble intelligibly, having forgotten Lance’s question.

“Oh boy.”

“OH! I’ve got one!” Hunk shouts, turning all attention to him. Shiro’s eyes even snap open but he almost immediately returns to slumping against Allura.

“Never have I ever flown someone else’s Lion!”

You briefly recall the time you had to pilot Black to save Shiro after the wormhole. That’s fair, you guess. You take a drink, much deeper than you probably should have.

Lance looks concerned, “Actually, Hunk, I think we should—”

“My turn!” Pidge cackles, “Never have I everrrr…” She stretches the R and taps on her chin, “oh! Never have I ever thought Lance was hot.”

Lance cranes his neck back and looks at her genuinely insulted before realizing that everyone in the circle is drinking. (Well, sans Shiro who’s brows furrow at the movement of Allura’s arm as he’s clearly trying to rest.)

You even manage to giggle for a minute before you can swallow yours.

Lance’s blush is euphoric.

“Sorry dude, I’m just not into you, but look at that shit,” Pidge chuckles as everyone is putting their glasses back down.

Allura laughs, “Don’t get too excited Lance, it was before I noticed your ears.”

“He does have a rather nice face, doesn’t he?” Coran starts casually, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

Lance covers his mouth and his fingers are spread over his nose and cheeks and you briefly consider reaching up and taking those fingers into your mouth.

Hunk is gushing about how amazing his best friend is before you hear your voice going without you again, “For a guardian of water Lance is pretty…steaming.”

Pidge chokes and hits the ground so hard she almost knocks over her space juice.

Lance’s eyes go wide as he stares at you. You shrug, but your mouth keeps going, “I mean let’s be real, am I the only one who’s daydreamed about—”

Allura lurches forward and covers your mouth with her hands, Shiro lands quite hard on the ground and snaps to full attention while the princess laughs and smiles like it’s all some big joke, “Now! Now, Keith, let’s get back to the game shall we?”

You look down, painfully aware of how similarly colored Allura’s skin was to Lance’s, and you try to ignore the heavy fluttering in your chest at the idea of Lance’s hand over your mouth as she pulls away and sits back down. While she whispers to Shiro to try and fill him in on why he was so rudely awakened all you can think about is why Lance could possibly cover your mouth like that. What noises he could be causing that he’d be trying to silence.

He’s also still staring at you and that’s not helping the warmth traveling down your body.

“Maybe we should stop playing?” Lance offers.

Hunk and the Alteans look slightly disappointed as if they’re only now getting into the game. Pidge is still sitting crouched in a ball with her head on the ground stifling her giggles.

So you shrug, “Never have I ever…” God everything in you wants to say something inappropriate and make Lance blush again but you can’t think of anything good. Then Lance taps his fingers on the floor, a sign that he’s impatient for some reason. You wonder why if he was trying to end the game.

Ugh his fingers.

Ugh his face.

Ugh his mouth.

It’s just insanely hot in this room.

You sigh, you’ll go for bitter and lonely instead, “Never have I ever made out with anyone before.”

Allura and Coran take their drinks nearly immediately. Hunk raises his cup then stops and asks, “define ‘made out’? Like are we talking kissing with tongues or like…getting handsy?”

Pidge is back up and nodding, “Yeah! Which is it?”

You glance at her, a fuzzy thought in your head, “Why would it matter to you Pidge? You’ve never kissed a guy.”

The girl nodded, “But you didn’t say guy you said anyone. And I have made out with girls. For science.”

You groan quietly before flopping onto the nearest thing, “Damn even Pidge has gotten more than me.”

You don’t notice Lance take his drink but you’re fully aware he did. The memory of the very pretty alien from a couple months ago actually makes your chest tight and you feel utterly miserable.

Then there is an arm around your shoulders.

And you realize you slouched onto Lance’s chest.

And his face is so beautifully pink.

And his pupils are huge.

And god if he isn’t the most gorgeous human.

That flush gives you new life.

That arm around your shoulders is too encouraging.

Lance offers you a smile and you feel the grin spread on your face, “You wanna fix that for me Lance?” You make sure your voice is low and sultry as the words leave your tongue and your eyes are half lidded as you stare up at the marksman.

You can physically feel his heartbeat increase its speed from your proximity to his chest.

Lance croaks, “Wasn’t there like- supposed to be cake? And gift giving? I think we got a little carried away with the drinking you know like. We should totally call it a night. Shouldn’t we? Anyone?!”

At this you roll your eyes and pull away form him, sitting up straight and reaching for your cup.

Lance eyes this motion and reaches for it at the same time that you do. His limbs are longer and you can’t help but be distracted by the stretch of tan skin so he gets there before you.

He immediately takes a quick gulp of it before thinking better of it and passing the cup down to Hunk, “You or Allura or Coran I dunno who I don’t care as long as it’s finished and it’s not in Keith.”

“Do you wanna be in Keith?” Pidge snorts.

Allura gasps and Hunk almost drops the stolen drink. Lance appears to be having trouble breathing. Coran shrugs and Shiro appears to be very much asleep in this chaos.

You shrug, “I don’t think so Pidge. Pastey isn’t attractive ya’ know?”

Lance chokes.

Pidge continues her ridiculous snort/giggles, “Keeeeeith. We’ve been over this. Lance is full of shit and you’re super hot samurai man.”

You whine and you spare yourself a moment to consider that it isn’t attractive but you don’t care as much as you thought you would, “No, you said I was pretty.”

“Well you ARE.”

“But what if he doesn’t like pretty in guys? That’s not how they’re supposed to be.”

“Well screw that, Lance, tell him you like pretty and tell him you like him.”

You don’t even spare him a glance, so enveloped in your debate with Pidge, “You gotta let this goooo Pidgey.”

“Guys! Back me up here!” Pidge shouted, turning to the others in the circle who’s faces resemble those of innocent bystanders observing a train crash in motion.

You groan and finally glance back at Lance. Rather, you have to look at Lance because all you want to do is curl into his chest and you decide you’re going to. When you’re comfortable you realize that he’s breathing very heavily and that his lips are drawn tight and his cheeks are stained red and his eyes are so—so dark.

Gorgeous boy.

Judging by how his hand reaches up and grips yours almost vice tight as soon as you think this, you wonder if you made the mistake of saying it out loud.

His other hand is at your hip and his thumb is just barely brushing the skin under your shirt and it’s setting your body on fire.

“I.” Lance starts, low, clearly difficult for him to say. He swallows, and his grip tightens just a bit more. “I like. Pretty.”

You tilt your head and stare up at him, pressing into his body all the more though this involves tilting your waist so your hip juts out and is even easier for Lance’s hand to grasp.

You remember what he said earlier and you remember your questionable self confidence but between the whiskey and the way his hands shake but he wont let go you feel pretty damn desirable right then.

“I- I like…” Lance starts again.

“Cake!”

Suddenly Pidge bolts upright, dragging Hunk up with her. He downs a large gulp of your stolen cup before handing what’s left to Coran while Allura is casually picking Shiro up into her arms and the lot of them immediately make their way out of the common room. You also briefly consider how this leads them away from the cake they seemed to be looking for but you don’t care.

Lance seems to have snapped out of whatever haze he was in though, “I guess we’ll give you your presents tomorrow?”

You’re disappointed.

But not for too long because you’re sure Lance is attracted to you now. Not sure how he could be but you know he is. And you know how his hands feel excessively hot on your body and you really just can’t be bothered for too much.

“Can’t I have one now?” You mumble against his chest, scooching up just a bit to press your forehead directly into the crook of his neck, nosing his throat.

“Oh god. Keith.” Lance squeaks before reluctantly pulling his hand away from your waist and trying to pull his body back from yours enough to look you in the eyes. His face is practically glowing and you note with a bit of glee that he hasn’t released your hand, “I mean yeah sure I could totally give you your present except the space mice stole it so the second I find it I’ll give it to you okay?”

You make a low whimpering noise before pressing forward just enough to watch him squirm with your breath against his lips, “But Lance…I want you to give me something now…”

You press your free hand against his chest, holding yourself up on pure abdominal strength now as your fingers feather down his body toward—

“Oh boy! No. Nononono. Keith you don’t. You. Hahah. You really can’t handle your liquor well can you? Oh shit. Why the hell did they leave you with me fuck.” He nearly tosses you off at this point, getting to his feet and throwing his arms up in the air.

You immediately mourn the loss of his warmth despite your earlier desire to cool yourself off with a change of clothes. How did drinking make someone so damn conflicted?

No, that didn’t matter that much.

What mattered was Lance throwing you to the ground like that.

“Guess I took it too far huh…” You mumble to no one though you can feel tears prickling your eyes. “I was right earlier, you don’t want me…”

Lance hears this and immediately stops his ranting and looks down at you.

He opens his mouth to say something but then his eyes proceed to move up and down your body, pupils blown wide.

Why is Lance so conflicted? He can’t look at you like that and not want you right?

Lance takes a deep breath and finally says as much, “God, Keith, yes I want you. Of course I want you. Look at you! You’re- you’re so fucking—look at those thighs man I—can we just take a second to like mass worship them? Like just—just take my head and crush it with them please. Please I would die a happy man. And your hips are just so hot holy shit. And you have quite literally the best ass I’ve ever seen dude seeing you earlier today almost killed me I can’t my tombstone seriously could have read “Here lies Lance, dead of exposure to godly ass” can you imagine? My mother would die and find me in heaven para darme un cocotazo por ser tan estúpido a morir sin siquiera tocar la—”

Lance paused, possibly at the expression on your face as you blinked at him your mouth slightly open, unsure why you found his babble switching languages to be so endearing but you did. He slams his palm down onto his face and drags it down, pulling his lip in the process.

“And that’s just. Sexually,” he chokes out, “don’t even get me started on how just unbearably pretty you are. I think I’d literally give anything to wake up and see your beautiful fucking face every morning on my pillows. And shit, I should probably stop talking but I drank just a little too much you know and now it’s just—cono—it’s just gonna be word vomit everywhere.”

You chuckle.

He collapses onto his knees on the ground close to you, “Don’t DO that!”

You laugh again, “What?”

“That! Don’t—don’t chuckle or laugh or hell—don’t even speak. Don’t open your mouth when you’re laying there like that and I can’t—I shouldn’t—ah god fuck carajo puta madre you can’t just—”

His lips look freshly bitten, probably in his frustration.

You wish it had been you.

You bite your own lip to make up for it.

Lance screeches.

“Okay. Okay fuck this. Keith, I’m sending you to bed.”

“Yours I hope.”

“God- Why did you drIInK so MUchh?! Fucken—Do this when your sober?? Please??”

You sigh and allow yourself to lay completely on the floor, stretching in such a languid way you can hear Lance whimper. “I probably wont…” you start, “I’m too scared to do this kind of thing when I’m sober I think. You’re just so hot and so smooth and you flirt with everything…How could I possibly have caught your attention?” You can hear him about to rebuke that statement but you keep going, “I drank because you were drinking. Wanted to know why you were so into it. Then wanted to not think. About you. And how much I want to do awful things to you. And how it felt like you’d never really look at me like that. And—"

You hear rather than see Lance officially reach the end of his rope as he growls out a simple ‘Idiot’ before your being dragged up from the ground and into his arms. Your chest already feels so light at this simple motion, but Lance does one better and slams his lips onto yours and its like a dam breaking. The heat pooling low in your stomach shoots straight down and your hands immediately find his back to dig into his jacket as a sign that you will not be releasing him any time soon. You press yourself against him so hard you can feel his length pressed against yours and you chuckle to yourself at the idea that neither of you appear to have a problem with whiskey dick.

With the chuckle he groans and you take the opportunity to press your tongue against his mouth, testing the waters. You aren’t sure what you’re doing is right you’re just going with your gut.

And your gut is screaming at you that you physically can’t be close enough to this man.

Almost shyly he opens his mouth to you and you set to work pressing as deeply into him as you can, practically devouring him. It’s so desperate and so rushed and so strong you’re both moaning into the kiss in seconds.

He pushes you back down onto the ground back first, your legs come up to wrap around his waist and he uses gravity to help press himself harder against you.

You can’t breathe and you don’t really want to.

You grind your hips up against his and his hands find the hem of your shirt before his fingers can properly explore. His thumb brushes against your nipple and you gasp. His other hand finds your hip bone and grips you tightly again, just like earlier, and while the first hand continues its feathery ministrations your moans start to come out high, desperate, small, needy.

You’ve never been touched like this before and you never want it to stop. You don’t like how your voice sounds but he seems encouraged by it, based on how he takes control of the kiss, takes control of your writhing, just—takes complete control of you.

And that’s something you do like.

You like that a lot.

You feel so small and meek to him and you love that. You want to be small for him. You want to be compliant and desperate and needy. You want him to know wat he does to you. You want him to know how amazing he is. You want him to take care of you and make you feel…all of it.

He’s not letting you thrust your hips up to meet his anymore but he is steadily grinding down against you and your lips have parted so he can trail kisses down your neck and this is absolutely your wildest dream coming true all because you got a little flirty with a cup.

Lance freezes.

God damn it did you say that out loud again?!

His hands retreat and he lets himself flop down directly on top of you, careful not to rub your erections together too much anymore while he lets out he most ridiculous noise—something between a groan and a whimper and a cry, you really can’t tell.

Then he kisses your neck, once, lips closed, “Keith, Please.” He kisses it again. “Please, please, please,” Again. “I am begging you.” Again. You’re going to melt. Lance doesn’t need to beg. “Come find me when you’re sober.”

Oh.

He props himself up on his arms and stares directly into your face, his eyes are still heavily dilated, but he looks distraught. This is, quite possibly, the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

Pun intended.

You remember yourself.

“…But what if I forget?”

Lance’s face looks like he’s on the verge of a breakdown.

“What if this is your one chance to touch the butt and you’re gonna miss out?”

Lance whimpers again.

“What if…” You lean in close to his ear then, “What if… I forget this bonding moment.”

And just before he shrieks in outrage you run your tongue over the shell of his ear causing said shriek to come out in a ridiculous high pitched stutter.

“No though seriously, this is a concern, you’ll probably have to remind me.”

…

When you finally stand up—really stand up for the first time since the gang started playing never have I ever—you are immediately assaulted with vertigo and the whiskey now feels like a great big rock in the pit of your stomach. Lance’s arms are around you instantly and he works diligently to steady you as the two of you make your vaguely stumbling trek to your rooms.

You need to pee.

You need to pee holy crap do you seriously need to pee.

You’re glad the need to vomit has disappeared since Lance steadied you but wowwy has your bladder always been the size of a dime because that’s what it feels like.

You make it to Lance’s door first and purely on impulse to get to the closest restroom the fastest you place your hand on the door pad. Lance flails and attempts to catch you as you break away and make a bee line straight for his restroom.

When the door is shut and you’re sighing in relief you can vaguely hear Lance laughing.

God he just. Makes you happy.

Does the night really have to end?

You finish up, wash your hands, look at yourself in the mirror…

Your shirt is a little wrinkle and your hair is a little messy but generally you look normal.

You think about Lance and his ridiculous red face and the not subtle at all tent he’d been pitching their entire walk and it makes you giggle.

He’s perfect. He’s a perfect boy. He wasn’t even taking advantage of you despite how badly you wanted him to. Despite how you had probably already taken advantage of him.

It wasn’t like he was entirely sober. Sure, he seemed to have a way higher tolerance for it but still. He was drunk enough to babble that should mean something.

You should apologize.

You fucked up.

What if—

“Keith? You alright in there?”

You bite your lip but make your way out of the bathroom anyway.

Lance is sitting on his bed waiting for you, waiting to walk you to your own room. He looks so soft and so kind and so understanding. And you’re the son of a bitch who teased the hell out of him.

He ushers the two of you out and casually holds your hand, intertwining your fingers for the four foot walk from his door to your door.

When your door opens you panic.

“I’m sorry.”

Lance’s brows furrow as he studies you, “…For what.”

“For this. All of this.” You bite out, angry with yourself.

The boy you adore looks like he’s just been struck in the face, “Y-you…regret—”

Hold on no. No. Nonononono that is not what you mean that’s—

You lean forward and pop a simple chaste kiss on his lips and as you pull away you say you’re sorry again because that probably defeats the purpose.

“I don’t regret kissing you or anything like that I’ve wanted to kiss you for—well for a really long time. I just. I’m drunk. And you’re drunk. And I—”

Lance’s face is softening as he reaches out and grazes his hand over your cheek.

“Did I take advantage of you?” You finally manage.

Lance’s hand jerks to a stop before the taller boy smiles for a second and then starts to laugh. Then he lets his hand glide to your chin, tilts your face up, and kisses you again.

This one is longer than the last by a great deal, but it’s so much softer and you feel like your heart my burst, one hand stuck in Lance’s while the other is frozen in a loose fist between your chests.

When you part it’s only a couple inches as Lance is leaning his forehead against yours and his smile is still there looking perfect as always.

Then he says, “I kissed you first, Keith. And sure. It’s…pretty bad.” He chuckles lightly, clearly embarrassed, “But you definitely didn’t do anything wrong okay?”

He then motions for you to go inside.

“Go hop into bed, I’ll be right back with a glass of water.”

You do as your told, careful of the little purple hippo from earlier who still needs to be repaired at some point but your drunk self has decided it’s adorable and squishy and you are going to hug it until Lance returns.

So when Lance does walk in and finds you laying on your bed holding the hippo high above your head and shaking it around like it was in the middle of something you aren’t as embarrassed as you should be.

Especially when all Lance can do is babble about how positively adorable you are and how he’s never going to be able to sleep again knowing that there was this side to his Keith and—

That water looks so good.

You put the hippo down and take the cup. Lance sits down next to you and reaches for the hippo, casually giving it a once over before sighing over it’s battered arm.

“I guess it’s a Shiro hippo now. Totally not what I was going for.”

You throat is happier now, so you turn to look at him like he’s crazy, “What you were going for? You made this?”

Lance gives you an expression like he’s been caught doing something wrong and then bashfully turns away, dropping the hippo between the two of you.

“Yeah well. I wanted to try something. And when I found out your birthday was coming I maybe asked around…and yeah. Yeah I made that tiny purple monstrosity I’m sorry. The material is all wrong, I haven’t sewn in like six years and now thank to the mice he’s all damaged.”

You smack him lightly in the arm before grabbing the hippo and squishing it to your chest.

“No he’s perfect, shut up.” A bit of stuffing falls out of his arm as if to verify this.

Lance chuckles.

“I didn’t even get to wrap it…”

“Then we’re even.” You respond, thinking about how he saw you naked again.

“What?”

The other boy blinks a couple times before finally getting to his feet, “Yeah. Okay then. I should probably get going now.”

He leans over to brush your hair behind your ear, placing a soft kiss to the crown of your head, “Goodnight Keith.”

“G—Good—no wait.”

You really didn’t want this evening to end. You wanted it to bleed into tomorrow. And the rest of the week. And the rest of the month. And the rest of your life. You wanted to wake up in the morning and see the gorgeous boy in your bed and fine, fair, if you couldn’t really touch him but just—

“God, how do you call me that with a straight face…” Lance says, his face bright pink again.

You groan, because of course you were saying all of that out loud.

“Please stay.”

Lance is quiet for a few seconds.

You persist.

“It’s my birthday, please stay with me.”

Lance grins, “Oh? Using the birthday card?”

You nod and scoot back on the bed, tapping the empty space next to you.

He mumbles absently about pajamas as he glances at the door but at the sound of another whine from your throat his entire body seems to soften and relax, and he crawls into bed with you.

You curl up as close to him as you dare, the hippo still pressed to your chest. To your immense joy he reaches over and pulls you just a little closer before he ducks his head into your hair and breathes deeply.

He chuckles as a thought seems to occur to him and nuzzles the top of your head.

“Please don’t forget our bonding moment!” He says dramatically, and as you laugh he continues much softer, “So not a bad birthday, right?”

You grin against his chest, “Nah. Not bad.”

5 notes · View notes

invader-fey · 5 years

Text

WARNING: DEEPLY PERSONAL JUNK DIRECTLY AHEAD

It’s really odd, sometimes, being in the position that I’m in.

My immediate family’s nearly all left the church. My dad, my brother, my mom. My sister’s lukewarm, sort of. I get the sense she’s feeling it out--which is sad, because the last time I was with her, she was in love with the Salt Lake temple. People all around me are leaving the church for different reasons. Some just don’t like the church’s stance on things politically, others feel that in order to make themselves truly happy, they must leave.

Personally, I’m in this for the long haul. I felt the spirit when I was in high school--when I was all alone, with absolutely no one and nothing to support me. My ward wasn’t the absolute best, my home was a fallout zone, I had one friend who was sort of there for me/sort of figuring things out for herself. Depression made it a miracle that I even ate or went outside at all. It was a living hell. But the gospel gave me hope when I had absolutely none. I saw miracles that I know no one else would really understand because of how personal they were to me.

I used to walk to church, my senior year of high school. It meant arguing with my dad to even get out the door, but I needed it, so I did it. Every now and then, one of the older members of the ward would see me and offer me a ride. I can’t express how much that meant to me, how much I wanted to cry over something as simple as that. When I graduated high school, I didn’t know where to go--only that I desperately needed out. That, too, was a whole entire argument with my father, but I couldn’t back down from this thing that I needed so much. I got a job, but I still wasn’t able to make the money to leave on my own. So I went from YSA ward to YSA ward. The second YSA ward I tried welcomed me with such open arms, I all but fell into them. I loved that ward, and their bishop--Bishop LeSeuer--most of all. They took care of me, and helped me to grow. When I finally found an open apartment in their boundaries, not only was it both nice and cheap, but it seemed like magic that my grandma had just decided to give me money from her retirement fund so that I could move out. Five thousand dollars, she gave me. Right as I had found this place to live and was near feeling hopeless about being able to afford it in a relatively short amount of time.

You may see those as small things. To me, they were everything.

I continued struggling with depression. I lost the job that I had used to move out nearly as soon as I had gotten all settled in. Three months went by where I had no job, and I was absolutely terrified. I suffered suicidal ideation then, and for the next two years, at least. But those events in my life showed me who God is to me more than any other times in my life. God, I learned, is not just my Father. He is also a great friend to have when you need someone to lean on. When I came home from college the first time, and nearly jumped to my death on the highway because the depression was just that bad--the boy I thought I was going to marry pulled a 180 on me and left without a word, my only close friends from home I thought I had were suddenly nonexistent now that I wasn’t helping them, my family was divorced and broken and how was I supposed to deal with any of that, much less the emotional abuse working at that third-party health insurance company--I learned that He was always there, I just had to give Him something He could work with. I had to try. I had to put in effort for the little things, and He would be there for the big things.

Look, I didn’t know where I stood on current issues like gay marriage or how to keep going in the midst of bad opinions about the church’s past (because, let me tell you, when you want to spin history to fit your view, it’s no longer a fact--a piece of fact that has been torn from the original truth is stained in your opinion the moment that it’s separated from its whole) when I first went through our temple. It’s taken me a while to figure things out, and I’m still learning each and every day. But I do know this: everyone is worthy of love. That is what the Atonement of Christ is all about.

With all of my friends that I’ve made lately seeming to go off on their own, away from the best truth I’ve ever known, I know now that A) my journey is not their/your journey, and B) a difference of opinion is no excuse to deprive someone of my love. That’s the whole reason why I’m able to live with my family once again, even though arguments still happen here almost every day (besides, I should add, the fact that the whole atmosphere of my family has changed). It’s hard, and it sucks when we can’t get along, but I still love. And that’s no sentence fragment at the end, there. I still love. I still love you, I still love them, and I still love everyone who feels the need to go their own way. I just hope that while I continue to learn and grow each day, I continue to learn how best to show my love in each scenario. Because I get it, not everyone is going to respond super well to me standing where I do, with my church.

And that’s kind of the reason why it feels so weird to be where I am. Because I have all of this love, but I don’t feel like I’m in the correct geographical location to show that love to people. I’m now on the exact opposite side of the country from every relationship I’ve ever made, and I want to do more than just give kind comments to posts on Facebook. I want to do what I used to do--I want to leave anonymous cookies on doorsteps, and drive thirty minutes to give people hugs and listen to what’s been going on in their lives, and take people out for ice cream or movies or bookstore dates. I don’t miss Arizona, but I miss the relationships I made there, even though I have better ones in both Utah and Idaho. I’m texting my best friend right now, actually. Calling her my “current” best friend feels like calling her my current girlfriend, though, so I leave that part out. She’s just the most healthy friendship I’ve ever had. And every day, I remember how much I lucked out with this person that I get to have in my life, even though she lives in Utah with her husband, and I’m single, and live all the way in Connecticut. (No, me being single has nothing to do with anything. I’m just maybe the slightest bit jealous.) Still, though. I wish I could share my love with the people of AZ that I built even small connections with. I with I could have all the people I’ve made even slight connections with in the same place, so that they could live their lives and go through the things they need to go through, but I could still be there to give my unconditional love and support.

I mean it. Maybe that sounds frail here, but I do. But I think it’s time for me to start showing that same love and support to people here, in Connecticut. And then I’ll have this awkward feeling about people here. I know I’ll be there with my coworkers eventually. (I LOVE my coworkers here. I will never be able to express that enough. I’m new, and I make mistakes often, but they’re still kind to me, despite everything.) I just hope that people from both my past, my present, and my future can pick up the vibe I want to radiate of “no matter who you are, or what you believe in, you are loved, and you have value in my eyes”. I hope I can grow to be good enough at that.

#a funny thing I realized while writing this absolute BEAST #is that my patriarchal blessing was exactly dead on about me using trials to make my testimony stronger #it just #happens #it's just the way I do things #personal #I don't think I'll have this problem since I have like 3 followers but still this is just in case #plz don't reblog #this is super personal and I just needed a space in the universe to EJECT my thoughts into the void #i feel like one of the grandmas from willy wonka and the chocolate factory #I've been in bed so long I AM the bed #the bed is me #i have mind melded with my bed and our mutual thoughts are COMFY

0 notes

thefantastickatinator · 7 years

Text

Bitch and Fix: Hunk Edition

I just want to start out by saying that I am PISSED about the way that Voltron treated Hunk this season. And I am absolutely going to complain about that, but then I’m actually gonna offer a few solutions that fix some of the issues the show created by basically forgetting half of Hunk’s character. WARNING: I will be bashing the fuck out of season 2 and the voltron writers. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy the season as a whole.

Problems Throughout the Whole Season

Bitch

WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO HAVE HUNK MAKE A FOOD RELATED COMMENT EVERY FUCKING EPISODE? WAS IT? NO! NO IT WAS NOT! Hunk likes food, sure, but not that much. He certainly didn’t make that many comments about it in season 1. Just- no. It’s not that funny, and it’s pretty insulting to imply that all he cares about is how hungry he is. Sidenote: I’m not going to mention the jokes on a episode by episode basis because there are so many of them that it would be a gigantic waste of my time.

Both scenes where Hunk gets stuck in a hole. Like the first one was bad enough, but the second one was too much. Just- that’s so tacky. It’s a terrible and insulting fat joke that nobody finds very funny.

All the sleeping jokes- thanks for making him look like a lazy slob. NOT

The fact that he was sidelined the whole time to make room for other people’s development. It you have to completely erase a character’s personality in order for your other characters to have development, you aren’t a very good writer.

NO CENTRIC EPISODE!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!! EVERY SINGLE PALADIN GOT ONE BUT NOT HUNK???? (Shiro and Keith got multiple ones)

Fix

Get rid of every single food joke. All of them. None of them add anything to the episodes. The only two food related things I would keep for the season would be the Hunk cooking scenes (both in the mall and when he made the lens cookies), because they’re both somewhat relevant to plot and they emphasize Hunk’s cooking ability rather than emphasizing how obsessed with food he is.

Either have some other reason why he gets stuck (his head, or his bayard ejects, or his foot gets caught on a seaweed piece or something) or don’t have him get stuck at all. I’ll talk more about Hunk getting stuck in “The Depths” when I start going episode by episode. I honestly see no real reason for him to get stuck in “The Belly of the Weblum” at all.

Just replace these sleeping scenes with Hunk focusing on some engineering thing, like super focused, and then snap out of it. Same effect, but makes him look smart, not lazy.

I will discuss this on an episode by episode basis.

The best episode to make a centric, in my opinion, is “The Belly of the Weblum”- I’ll discuss this more when I get to this episode.

“Across the Universe”

N/A. Hunk’s not even really in this episode.

“The Depths”

Bitch

It all really centers around the fact of the way Hunk was sidelined so Lance could be the savior. Which, fine. Lance needs his time to shine. But there was a way to do that without the fat jokes. HE GOT LEFT BEHIND BECAUSE HE WAS TOO FAT TO FIT THROUGH THE HOLE? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO FAT SHAME YOUR AUDIENCE? Honestly I have seen the “too fat to fit through a whole” as a trope in the past, but I have reached peak tolerance with this bullshit. Honestly the next time I see this stupid trope I’m gonna scream.

Fix

Ok, there are a lot of different ways to fix this so you still end up with Hunk left behind. He could get stuck for some other reason that has nothing to do with him being fat. Or, Lance could sleepwalk and stumble upon the rebels. Or, they see Lance first, but don’t have enough time to grab Hunk. Or, Hunk sleep punches them out, or literally a hundred different ways to do this without making a fat joke.

“Shiro’s Escape”

Bitch

Not enough Hunk. We always need more.

Fix

More Hunk. Offering suggestions, being his smart self.

“Greening the Cube”

There is no episode that pisses me off as much as this one does.

Bitch

The whole thing with the fixing of the shield. You’re telling me that HUNK, THE ACTUAL ENGINEER OF THE GARRISON TRIO, DOESN’T UNDERSTAND ENGINEERING TERMS FROM CORAN? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT CRAP? OHHH MANNN I A SOOOO PISSED.

HUNK, ENGINEER, HAS NO INTEREST IN THE PLANET OF ENGINEERS? NO INTEREST MY ASS!!!!! OHHHH MANNN IT’S LIKE THEY FORGOT ONE OF HIS CORE PERSONALITY TRAITS. He has like four main ones: food, anxiety, engineer, friend. Like, how hard is it to remember? Look, I get that Pidge needed her time to shine, but this is honestly insulting to Hunk’s character.

Hunk doesn’t understand the engineering tree thing. He should have been able to light one of those trees up as well as Pidge. He’s clearly brilliant, if the first season is anything to go by.

Fix

The easiest way to fix this is to have Hunk fixing some other part of the shield. He can’t be over there to deal with what the other paladins are dealing with, so Pidge fixes the problem. He tries to offer an explanation that’s just as unintelligible as Allura’s and Coran’s, and there you go, Hunk looks smart and we still have the same scene. Easy peasy.

Ok, the way to deal with this is to have him have a reaction similar to Pidge’s when she meets the robot (i.e. silently freaking in the background). Or, have him be equally involved as Pidge, with him offering a supporting role to her freakouts.

Just have him do the tree thing. Maybe in the background or something.

“Eye of the Storm”

Bitch

Hunk not giving two fucks about what weirdo chemicals he baked in is a little weird.

Hunk is the engineer- why isn’t he the one helping Coran? Sigh

Fix

Have him be a little concerned over it. Possibly, have him and Pidge learn Altean together- good Hidge bonding moment!

More Pidge and him- have them figure out the thing with the cookies! Tech buddies! Bonding! Excellent stuff!!

“Ark of Taujeer”

Not much to complain about here! Hunk discovering a new lion power! Very good stuff! Him single-handedly holding up the ship to save it from certain death? There’s my boy. The only improvement- make this the Hunk-centric! More Hunk! (Repeating thing of Hunk helping out an alien people- like the Balmerans)

“Space Mall”

Bitch

Hunk getting in trouble for eating all those free samples- yet another fat joke- could have found a different way to get to this scenario.

Fix

A couple of different ways to get to this situation. Hunk could intervene in a conflict between the manager/owner and a customer. He could either a) Be roped into dishes along with the customer or take their place or b) Challenge the owner and have a possible cook off. Or, Hunk could try one food thing, find it disgusting, and insist on taking over the kitchen.

“The Blade of Marmora”

Bitch

Yet again, barely any Hunk. Man, they really sidelined the other characters for Shiro’s and Keith’s development.

No reunion post Galra!Keith revelation. Where were our reaction!faces

Fix

More Hunk. My response to nearly everything this season. Maybe more of him worrying over what’s going on down there?

Hunk reaction face- we know how he feels in “The Belly of the Weblum”, but I would have loved to see his first thought at finding out the news.

”The Belly of the Weblum”

Bitch

This really should have been a Hunk-centric episode. This episode had more time for Hunk than any episode other than “The Depths” which was established as Lance-centric. Keith should have been given less screen time with ‘mystery Galra’ give Hunk more screen time. He’s a little too goofy in this one (especially him getting stuck-again), but this is a better episode than most for Hunk.

Fix

The only other episode that could have been a centric was “Ark of Taujeer”, but that’s also got a lot of Allura and Keith stuff. In this episode the only people that Hunk has to fight for screen time are Keith and ‘mystery Galra’. Keith had his own centric and was featured heavily in several episodes, so it wouldn’t matter to much if he was sidelined for this episode. Have Hunk be responsible for the majority of the smart stuff regarding the Weblum, and just spend more time on him figuring it out. Also remove some of the “bumbling” crap. Hunk’s not an idiot.

“Escape from Beta Traz”

N/A. Hunk’s not in this episode and it doesn’t really make sense for him to be.

“Stayin’ Alive”

Sad about Hunk and Shay not getting to see each other again, but it doesn’t really fit within the context of the plot. Also, would love to have seen Hunk and Pidge helping Slav with the teludav.

”Best Laid Plans” and “Blackout”

Since these are basically one big finale, I’m gonna talk about them together.

Bitch

Like many times throughout this season, and like anyone who wasn’t Keith or Shiro this season, Hunk is sidelined once again. He doesn’t have much going on beyond fighting in his lion and as Voltron.

Fix

One big standout moment for Hunk- that really emphasizes his awesomeness as a paladin.

Final Thoughts

They better give him a fucking arc in Season 3 or I will blow a gasket. Hunk deserved better this season.

#hunk deserves the world #DAMN I AM FUCKING PISSED ABOUT THIS #hunk #voltron #anti voltron writers

1 note · View note

theteenagetrickster · 5 years

Text

The most important Star Wars character of all time is Wat Tambor, leader of the Techno Union Army

1p>> In some means, productions are aesthetic results, but when it comes to lightsabers, Wookiees, R2-D2, and also Darth Vader, the best long-lasting Celebrity Wars traits aren't for your eyes, however instead for your ears.

Most hardcore Celebrity Wars enthusiasts understand that legendary sound designer Ben Burtt is accountable for R2-D2's tones as well as the hum of a lightsaber, yet performed you recognize that this person likewise had a scene-stealing minute in Star Wars: Episode II-- Strike of the Clones!.?.!? Basically, it's below that Celebrity Wars fandom may be boiled down to pair of kinds of people: Those who know that Ben Burtt was a fantastic audio developer, as well as those who think about him as the voice of a green tooth-headed quasi-cyborg with the dubious 1st label of "Wat."

If you're rational, you fall in to the first camping ground. If you're me, you're firmly in the second. Depending on to a minimum of one interview, Ben Burtt illustrated the character Wat Tambor as his "preferred Celebrity Wars robot," however who is Wat Tambor? The response: Wat Tambor is the absolute most pivotal and unusual Celebrity Wars character of perpetuity.

Of all, despite making the vocal for Wat Tambor's 2 pipes of discussion, Ben Burtt is theoretically wrong. Wat Tambor is actually certainly not a robotic. Correct, he communicates in a halting, robot fashion, and also readjusts himself with little dials on his metallic chest in purchase to eject some of his pair of pipes in a Celebrity Wars movie, however he's not a robotic. Tambor is a Skakoan, a participant of an amphibious race of invaders who, when off-world, are demanded to use a stress fit to mimic their residence world's environment.

If you were actually put up on that particular point George Lucas claimed as soon as regarding duplicating graphic designs in the Star Wars movies-- "it feels like poetry, they rhyme"-- you could be actually tilted to suggest that Wat Tambor's pressure suit foreshadows Anakin's fate to live within a breathing apparatus as Darth Vader. Yet, isn't it even more fun to only think about Wat Tambor as a goofy alien that is actually a lot more important than Darth Vader? Due to the fact that, in phrases of the coordinations of how the Celebrity Wars universe is actually altered, Wat Tambor is actually, in fact, technique more crucial than Darth Vader. And also's because unlike Darth Vader, Wat Tambor practically performs.

Wat Tambor and Obi-Wan Kenobi; ships passing in the night.(Credit Rating: Lucasfilm

)Wat Tambor's initial of pair of looks in live-action Superstar Wars films is actually in ... as well as in that story, he modifies whatever.

Somehow, the plot of Strike of the Duplicates could be simplified this: Here are the really certain nitty-gritty information of exactly how a complicated sci-fi war was salaried, through which both sides began the battle without possessing a standing military. Certainly, our company recognize from the headline of the movie that the Republic at some point acquires a military of clones who deal with, however the "negative individuals"-- the Separatists-- use a soldiers of fight androids. Currently, our experts had actually met soldiers of fight androids in the previous film,, but what Strike of the Clones demonstrates is that new, more extreme battle androids are actually brought right into the Separationist battle effort to see to it the droids are awesome to grumble along with the Jedi.

Go Into Wat Tambor. As Obi-Wan listens in, our company listen to (however do not completely find) Wat Tambor utter some of his pair of galaxy-shaking lines in his amusing faux-robot voice: "With these new struggle droids our team've constructed for you, you'll possess best military in the galaxy."

What war droids performs he describe, hope say to? These would be actually the "extremely" fight androids who cause the Jedi such difficulty in the arena battle by the end of the movie, and also, if you've been actually checking out, these coincide assortment of fight androids hassling younger Mando and his family in those recalls.

You view, currently, just how significant Wat Tambor is? His super battle droids obtained a ton of Jedi on Geonosis and also, relatively, orphaned young Pedro Pascal, triggering him to come to be The Mandalorian in the initial place. Had Wat Tambor not produced the brand new war droids for Matter Dooku and also the Separatists, the Clone Wars would certainly possess never ever taken place since the State would certainly never have been actually cajoled right into taking the clone soldiers they didn't in fact desire. As well as this likewise suggests Mando will possess potentially never ever come to be an orphanhood. And also if Mando had actually never become an orphan, who would certainly have rescued Infant Yoda???

A tremendously struggle droid in' The Mandalorian.'Wat Tambor created these things!

All of these activities were actually placed right into activity as a result of the only other setting in Strike of the Clones through which Wat Tambor communicates. Again, as Obi-Wan listens in, Count Dooku convinces a lot of dubious folks to devote their powers to the Separatists. This is actually when Wat Tambor gets his major close-up; changing themself like a damaged 1983 Tandy drooping disc drive merged with Maximum Headroom's cadence, he says, "The Techno Union Soldiers goes to your fingertip, Count."

Throughout each versions of The Clone Wars animes (the 2002-2005 Genndy Tartakovsky non-canon one, and the additional well-known 2008 model) the Techno Union Military and Wat Tambor make a handful of looks (featuring an arc where he attacks the planet Ryloth), however it is actually certainly not like you ever receive the feeling that Wat Tambor is actually a excellent association leader. Probably the most ideal example for Wat Tambor is actually that he's a little like Jimmy Hoffa; he as well as the Field Federation precisely feel that receiving entailed along with the mob (the Separatists) will definitely assist their commerce guilds as well as techno alliances, however the truth is, the Separatists are way much worse than any kind of real-life mob. (Edge note: Observe Martin Scorsese really did not claim just about anything bad about Star Wars motion pictures in the course of that entire Marvel motion picture rant. Is it achievable he was actually influenced to carry out after enjoying Wat Tambor and also Anakin Skywalker in the innovators? I believe the answer is actually a huge indeed.)

Referring Anakin Skywalker, he plainly recognizes exactly how bona fide Wat Tambor is actually due to the opportunity of Revenge of the Sith since when he mosts likely to take out all the Separationist forerunners, the next-to-last man he smacks along with this lightsaber, is, you guessed it, Wat Tambor. Hang around, is actually Wat Tambor actually lifeless?

Absolutely No, Wat Tambor, don't stand up. Anakin will correct there certainly

.(Credit Scores: Lucasfilm)You're possibly quite acquainted with this chance of Anakin Skywalker (this actually happens to be the display you'll obtain for the review of Vengeance of the Sith on Disney+ today), yet there is actually an odds you never discovered that Wat Tambor is, like, delicately rising coming from his seat after Anakin has removed virtually everyone else in the bad Separationist authorities.

In the theatrical launch of the film our experts never observe Anakin really apply for Wat Tambor, we simply acquire this chance of Wat standing up, relatively to change his dials as well as maybe deliver Anakin some even cooler brand new androids. Apparently, Wat Tambor does perish within this scene. If you do some Googling, you'll find out there is actually an omitted culture where Anakin secures Wat, but, you'll certainly not discover it in the present-day Disney+ "extras" for Vengeance of the Sith. As well as, unlike a great deal of prequel-era removed scenes, it's kind of tough to uncover the real video recording of Anakin killing Wat.

Store on Anakin. Wat intends to talk. (Credit History: Lucasilm)

Thus, what is actually the package? The databank states that Wat needed to "answer for his criminal offenses" on Mustafar, which's where our team acquire this image of him as well as Anakin possessing an intense chat. Strangely, also though Wookieepedia declares Wat Tambor is 100 per-cent dead, it's extremely difficult to find him in the results of Anakin's rage. An usual person would certainly just approve that Wat Tambor's death was shed on the reducing space floor, but if you are actually a Wat Tambor loyalist, you might presume he's still on the market.

To put it simply, every person knows that Anakin got rid of all the Separatists on Mustafar, yet what a few hopeful followers hope is, possibly he really did not?

If Wat Tambor is actually still available, then probably the previous foreman of the Techno Union Military created Palpatine a ton of spaceships for. I indicate, those Star Destroyers had to arise from someplace, right?

This content was originally published here.

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years

Text

The Big Baller Brand Doesn't Need Lonzo Ball to Be Good

Quinn Velazquez is sitting courtside at the Thomas and Mack Center for a summer league matchup between the Los Angeles Lakers and his favorite team, the Sacramento Kings. All around him, his fellow Kings fans are roasting Lonzo Ball for supposedly ducking their own rookie point guard, De'Aaron Fox. The twenty-something Velazquez is wearing, of all things, a Big Baller Brand T-shirt.

"It's fun to be on the ground floor of something big," he says. "Or it could be the most expensive thrift store shirt I've ever bought."

Big Baller Brand (BBB), an apparel and footwear company founded last year by the Ball family, is putting out its own products, and taking on shoe giants like Nike and Adidas. If everything goes as planned, the brand could occupy the same space that Kanye West's Yeezy fashion line filled: exclusive, expensive (BBB ZO2's start at $495 a pair), and yet undeniably anti-establishment. The brand could easily become a cautionary tale. Or it could upend the sneaker business entirely.

"There's always an outlier," says Sonny Vaccaro, former footwear executive, subject of an ESPN 30 for 30 documentary, and the man who famously signed Michael Jordan to Nike. "And LaVar Ball became that outlier."

But you, along with the rest of America, already know this.

"No press is bad press," says Velasquez courtside, of Lavar Ball. "I respect that. How he carries himself, I don't necessarily know if I agree with." At the time, LaVar was fresh off a WWE appearance. Since then, he has made news for any number of things, from having a female referee ejected from a game to opting to home-school his youngest son, LaMelo. The list is ever-growing.

"I don't necessarily associate BBB with Lonzo. I associate it more with LaVar."

You can hardly blame him. Lonzo's debut drew 17,000 fans, selling out the Thomas and Mack Center for the first time in Summer League history, yet it was LaVar Ball crowded by fans, angling for a mere glimpse, an opportunity to touch him. Prior to his preseason debut, the stairway leading to LaVar's lower-bowl seats was packed to the brim with autograph-seekers. In the offseason, ESPN commissioned a poll, asking whether LaVar or Lonzo would be a bigger storyline this season. OddsShark just released presidential odds for 2020, including LaVar on the list.

I've heard casual fans mix their names up. Hell, I've mixed their names up.

This is, in part, a manifestation of their personalities, and it serves them well. Every time LaVar opens his mouth, his son, by way of tacit contrast, looks better: the quiet assassin who'd rather, as he has put it many times, do his talking on the court.

It's also good business. There are a legion of fans, like Velazquez, who are willing to bet on BBB merely because the Ball family has bet on themselves. The ethic supersedes the antics, and the athlete. And Darren Moore, Lonzo's manager, knows it. "We're trying to build a narrative of: You can believe in yourself, and not even feel like you have to roll the dice because you know what you're worth."

The personification of that attitude is not Lonzo. It's his hypeman, the boisterous, no-holds-barred LaVar.

Lavar Ball is already turning his family's popularity into income. Photo: Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports.

Even if Lonzo had an opinion about this, it would be hard to find out what it is. The Ball family is now charging $15,000 for interviews that extend past Ball's media obligations as a member of the Lakers. The very fact of that absurd fee reveals more than Lonzo, with his piercing stare and cliche-ridden answers ever would—it reveals the ethic that they insist we understand: no stone un-monetized.

And why wouldn't Lonzo charge for his time. The equation that governs PR, that celebrities must exchange their internal lives for coverage, doesn't apply to him. He could tie his shoelaces a different way, and we would cover it judiciously. In fact, we did.

Ball wore Nike's at his third summer league game and posted a triple-double. He then toggled to Adidas and UnderArmour, raising questions about whether his footwear decisions would be registered as an indictment on the quality of his own ZO2's. It turned out to be just another day of Lonzo being a trending topic across America.

Now, ask yourself this: does any casual fan know which shoe brand Markelle Fultz, the No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft, signed with?

"This is a singular situation," says Vaccaro. " Everywhere in history, in the shoe industry, was dictated by the individual being able to perform. They cut past everything. His team didn't win the championship. He got beat in the second round. He got his ass kicked by [De'Aaron] Fox. There was nothing monumental about his college career."

"They did more in five minutes," says Vaccaro, "than anyone on a shoe contract's done since LeBron James."

Individual NBA stars wield increasing power. As we saw this offseason, they can force trades to a preset list of attractive teams. If they're flexible about the size of their paychecks, they can form super-teams. LeBron James is basically a multi-national corporation. But even the most talented rookies have been exempt. They have lacked leverage. Until now.

In 2014, Andrew Wiggins was the No. 1 pick in the draft, and he was being shuffled away from autograph signings at the risk of a reporter asking what he thought of the idea he could be traded to the Timberwolves. This season, Boston traded the No. 1 pick, essentially the rights to Markelle Fultz, to Philadelphia. His botched Instagram post, wherein some long-forgotten social media manager forgot to replace "(city)" and "(team name)" with Philadelphia and the Sixers before posting a picture of him on draft night, was oddly poignant. He was somebody else's for the taking.

Could you imagine, on the other hand, a universe where Lonzo's Instagram drafts have such a structure? Was there ever a doubt that he was going to the Lakers? We are bearing witness to the first rookie who doesn't seem like a pawn in somebody else's game.

Lonzo cut his teeth in Chino Hills, on the crooked driveway in the backyard of their home, honing the janky jump-shot that's the source of so much existential dread. It will haunt the rest of the NBA, or it will haunt the Lakers. L.A. is home, but it's also where the family imagines its wildest dreams coming true.

"If the Lakers make the playoffs, he sells a million shoes," Vaccaro says. "What does that mean? That means this is what innovation is."

Name recognition is one thing. Turning that popularity into cash is another. Their reality TV show, Ball in the Family, has been picked up for a second season. Lonzo, who has dabbled in rapping since his youth, just released a track. Just this week, Big Baller Brand released an Emoji app, in case anybody thought this all wasn't already feeling a smidge too modern.

And this is where the true genius of the Big Baller Brand comes to bear. Even if (when) Lonzo struggles to run an intricate NBA offense and a not-so-talented team, Lavar will still be there to push the family name. His adherents will still be loyal.

And, in the unlikely worst case scenario that Lonzo is not good, after a short career of being paid on potential, of taking a flier here and there, one can easily envision a scenario where he transitions smoothly into the most lucrative business in Hollywood—the one his dad is already in—celebrity for its own sake.

"He's got interest from people who don't give a damn, personally" says Vaccaro. "Lavar created a marketplace. He put a Tiffany's in a place where a store like Tiffany's never would have existed before. He created space where there was no space before, for his son."

Given the stronghold the Ball family has in Los Angeles, and the growing potency of the Big Baller Brand name, Lonzo Ball doesn't even have to live up to the hype. There are failsafes in place. There's LaMelo (and to hear them tell it, LiAngelo, who is not nearly as touted a prospect as his brothers).

They are going to be a part of our lives, for a long time.

But there's a difference between making the bet pay off and making so much money that it fundamentally changes the shoe industry, just as there's a difference between a rookie shoe deal and the 9-figure deals that follow them.

For generations," says Moore, Lonzo's business manager, "a lot of players fall into the mold of signing with Nike, Adidas, Under Armour. The way the basketball world is ran, you don't have anybody that's gonna tell you [BBB] is an option. It's an option that players always have that I think they should look at."

Tonight, a one-man million dollar industry will take the floor, lanky and nineteen, for the most glamorous franchise in the NBA. Everything he does out there for the Lakers will connect the man to the myth. We have awaited his arrival with bated breath, and we will watch dutifully because we think what Lonzo does will give us clarity about his family, about the Lakers, about the Big Baller Brand.

Through it all, the most pertinent question will continue to linger. What matters more: what we're watching, or that we're watching?

The Big Baller Brand Doesn't Need Lonzo Ball to Be Good published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

amtushinfosolutionspage · 7 years

Text

The Big Baller Brand Doesn’t Need Lonzo Ball to Be Good

Quinn Velazquez is sitting courtside at the Thomas and Mack Center for a summer league matchup between the Los Angeles Lakers and his favorite team, the Sacramento Kings. All around him, his fellow Kings fans are roasting Lonzo Ball for supposedly ducking their own rookie point guard, De’Aaron Fox. The twenty-something Velazquez is wearing, of all things, a Big Baller Brand T-shirt.

“It’s fun to be on the ground floor of something big,” he says. “Or it could be the most expensive thrift store shirt I’ve ever bought.”

Big Baller Brand (BBB), an apparel and footwear company founded last year by the Ball family, is putting out its own products, and taking on shoe giants like Nike and Adidas. If everything goes as planned, the brand could occupy the same space that Kanye West’s Yeezy fashion line filled: exclusive, expensive (BBB ZO2’s start at $495 a pair), and yet undeniably anti-establishment. The brand could easily become a cautionary tale. Or it could upend the sneaker business entirely.

“There’s always an outlier,” says Sonny Vaccaro, former footwear executive, subject of an ESPN 30 for 30 documentary, and the man who famously signed Michael Jordan to Nike. “And LaVar Ball became that outlier.”

But you, along with the rest of America, already know this.

“No press is bad press,” says Velasquez courtside, of Lavar Ball. “I respect that. How he carries himself, I don’t necessarily know if I agree with.” At the time, LaVar was fresh off a WWE appearance. Since then, he has made news for any number of things, from having a female referee ejected from a game to opting to home-school his youngest son, LaMelo. The list is ever-growing.

“I don’t necessarily associate BBB with Lonzo. I associate it more with LaVar.”

You can hardly blame him. Lonzo’s debut drew 17,000 fans, selling out the Thomas and Mack Center for the first time in Summer League history, yet it was LaVar Ball crowded by fans, angling for a mere glimpse, an opportunity to touch him. Prior to his preseason debut, the stairway leading to LaVar’s lower-bowl seats was packed to the brim with autograph-seekers. In the offseason, ESPN commissioned a poll, asking whether LaVar or Lonzo would be a bigger storyline this season. OddsShark just released presidential odds for 2020, including LaVar on the list.

I’ve heard casual fans mix their names up. Hell, I’ve mixed their names up.

This is, in part, a manifestation of their personalities, and it serves them well. Every time LaVar opens his mouth, his son, by way of tacit contrast, looks better: the quiet assassin who’d rather, as he has put it many times, do his talking on the court.

It’s also good business. There are a legion of fans, like Velazquez, who are willing to bet on BBB merely because the Ball family has bet on themselves. The ethic supersedes the antics, and the athlete. And Darren Moore, Lonzo’s manager, knows it. “We’re trying to build a narrative of: You can believe in yourself, and not even feel like you have to roll the dice because you know what you’re worth.”

The personification of that attitude is not Lonzo. It’s his hypeman, the boisterous, no-holds-barred LaVar.

Lavar Ball is already turning his family’s popularity into income. Photo: Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports.

Even if Lonzo had an opinion about this, it would be hard to find out what it is. The Ball family is now charging $15,000 for interviews that extend past Ball’s media obligations as a member of the Lakers. The very fact of that absurd fee reveals more than Lonzo, with his piercing stare and cliche-ridden answers ever would—it reveals the ethic that they insist we understand: no stone un-monetized.

And why wouldn’t Lonzo charge for his time. The equation that governs PR, that celebrities must exchange their internal lives for coverage, doesn’t apply to him. He could tie his shoelaces a different way, and we would cover it judiciously. In fact, we did.

Ball wore Nike’s at his third summer league game and posted a triple-double. He then toggled to Adidas and UnderArmour, raising questions about whether his footwear decisions would be registered as an indictment on the quality of his own ZO2’s. It turned out to be just another day of Lonzo being a trending topic across America.

Now, ask yourself this: does any casual fan know which shoe brand Markelle Fultz, the No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft, signed with?

“This is a singular situation,” says Vaccaro. ” Everywhere in history, in the shoe industry, was dictated by the individual being able to perform. They cut past everything. His team didn’t win the championship. He got beat in the second round. He got his ass kicked by [De’Aaron] Fox. There was nothing monumental about his college career.”

“They did more in five minutes,” says Vaccaro, “than anyone on a shoe contract’s done since LeBron James.”

Individual NBA stars wield increasing power. As we saw this offseason, they can force trades to a preset list of attractive teams. If they’re flexible about the size of their paychecks, they can form super-teams. LeBron James is basically a multi-national corporation. But even the most talented rookies have been exempt. They have lacked leverage. Until now.

In 2014, Andrew Wiggins was the No. 1 pick in the draft, and he was being shuffled away from autograph signings at the risk of a reporter asking what he thought of the idea he could be traded to the Timberwolves. This season, Boston traded the No. 1 pick, essentially the rights to Markelle Fultz, to Philadelphia. His botched Instagram post, wherein some long-forgotten social media manager forgot to replace “(city)” and “(team name)” with Philadelphia and the Sixers before posting a picture of him on draft night, was oddly poignant. He was somebody else’s for the taking.

Could you imagine, on the other hand, a universe where Lonzo’s Instagram drafts have such a structure? Was there ever a doubt that he was going to the Lakers? We are bearing witness to the first rookie who doesn’t seem like a pawn in somebody else’s game.

Lonzo cut his teeth in Chino Hills, on the crooked driveway in the backyard of their home, honing the janky jump-shot that’s the source of so much existential dread. It will haunt the rest of the NBA, or it will haunt the Lakers. L.A. is home, but it’s also where the family imagines its wildest dreams coming true.

“If the Lakers make the playoffs, he sells a million shoes,” Vaccaro says. “What does that mean? That means this is what innovation is.”

“He’s got interest from people who don’t give a damn, personally” says Vaccaro. “Lavar created a marketplace. He put a Tiffany’s in a place where a store like Tiffany’s never would have existed before. He created space where there was no space before, for his son.”

Given the stronghold the Ball family has in Los Angeles, and the growing potency of the Big Baller Brand name, Lonzo Ball doesn’t even have to live up to the hype. There are failsafes in place. There’s LaMelo (and to hear them tell it, LiAngelo, who is not nearly as touted a prospect as his brothers).

They are going to be a part of our lives, for a long time.

But there’s a difference between making the bet pay off and making so much money that it fundamentally changes the shoe industry, just as there’s a difference between a rookie shoe deal and the 9-figure deals that follow them.

For generations,” says Moore, Lonzo’s business manager, “a lot of players fall into the mold of signing with Nike, Adidas, Under Armour. The way the basketball world is ran, you don’t have anybody that’s gonna tell you [BBB] is an option. It’s an option that players always have that I think they should look at.”

Through it all, the most pertinent question will continue to linger. What matters more: what we’re watching, or that we’re watching?

The Big Baller Brand Doesn’t Need Lonzo Ball to Be Good syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

0 notes

scepticaladventure · 7 years

Text

18 Q-Theory Part 2 ... Inertia, Mass and Gravity 20Aug17

Introduction

In the last blog I started describing a fanciful creation myth. It is written largely for fun, but also because it provides a way to present some ideas. Its intention is to provoke some fresh thinking about the fundamentals of physics, which I think has become somewhat stuck in the mud. Mired in mathematics. Too much group-think and cognitive dissonance. Individual genius lost in the herd.

The first blog described the emergence of neutrinos, electrons, photons, spin and charge out of the primordial energy field called Q. This second blog will discuss origins for inertia, mass and gravity. It will suggest a rationale for Newton’s Laws of dynamics and why Mach’s Principle was nearly right.

Newton’s Laws of Motion

When matter is formed, it is born out of Q and it retains a relationship with Q. The essence of this relationship is that it does not like to be changed. It resists changes. It requires energy to change it. This gives matter its inertia.

Many of the properties of inertia are obvious. They have become axiomatic in classical dynamics, e.g. Newton’s first law of motion … Objects remain at rest or in a state of uniform rectilinear motion unless compelled by a force to change.

But we are interested in why this is so. Why is Newton’s First Law of Motion true? Newton did not decree or ordain that it was true – he just recognised that it was true and described it very neatly.

Just calling things “a law of nature” does not suffice. We are trying to explore the origins of inertia, mass and gravity. We want to know why certain observable features of Nature are always true – what makes them a law of physics?

Inertia

Matter is “sticky” within the Q. Matter refuses to accelerate unless it is provided with more energy. This gives an object its inertia when at rest.

Matter can move at a constant speed in a straight line within Q without any resistance. The Q makes way at the front of the moving matter and moves through and around the matter and fills in behind the matter when it has passed by. Linear momentum is maintained. Energy levels are maintained. Q has no ‘viscosity’ in the face of uniform rectilinear motion.

But any attempt to increase the speed of a material object immediately creates resistance from the Q. The resistance is overcome by supplying the object with more energy. An external force has to act on the object and through through a finite distance. Extra energy and extra momentum have to be transferred to the object. It is almost as if the object “mops up” Q as the force accelerates it to its new level of speed.

When the external force stops the object maintains its new increased level of speed, energy and momentum. Momentum has been transferred from whatever exerted the force. Momentum is conserved and so is energy.

An object that acquires momentum also acquires energy. Whatever contributed such energy to the object loses a corresponding amount of energy.

Any attempt to deviate a moving object away from a straight line also immediately creates a resistance. The resistance is overcome by applying a force to the object at right angles to the direction of motion. But when such a force stops, the object resumes travelling in a straight line. It is a different phenomenon to the previous example.

If the applied force is always at right angles to the direction of motion, the object maintains a constant level of energy. The object maintains the same magnitude of momentum as it had before, albeit in a continually changing direction.

So if you push an object from behind the object goes faster and becomes more energetic and the effects persist even after the force ceases. But if you push it from the side the object does not go any faster, the change in behaviour only lasts as long as the force is applied, and the new mode of movement does not persist when the force stops. Why the difference? What is going on?

Suspicion falls immediately on how the force is applied. In the first case it is parallel to the motion, but in the second case it is at right angles to the motion.

Consider the example of a rocket in space. A steering thruster starts ejecting gases at right angles to the direction of travel and persists until the rocket performs an entire circular loop. The thruster then stops. The rocket carries on as before. Some of the linear momentum of the rocket became angular momentum until the maneuver was completed and then it became linear momentum again. The rocket is left with nearly the same energy (it is just a bit less due to the loss of fuel) and momentum as before There is a circular spray of fuel gases left behind in space. This spray of fuel gases carries away the chemical energy that was used up in the fuel burn.

Next consider a frozen lake with a smooth pole poking up through the ice. An ice skater approaches in a smooth straight glide, just to one side of the pole. Just as they pass by the pole they reach out and grab it with one extended hand. All at once they are swung around into a circular path, still at the same speed. But when they let go of the pole they head off in a straight line again.

What is so special about straight lines? Why do we not have a universe in which the natural path of moving particles is all curly and curved? Or just a random walk? It may seem to be a trivial or silly question, but I think it is fundamental. And the answer reveals something about the nature of Q.

[If you ask physicists why objects stay at rest of in a state of uniform rectilinear motion most of them will say because objects have to obey Newton’s First Law. But Newton was merely observing Nature, not ordaining its behaviour. Only a minority of physicists will see that the question is a deep one, and they will be regarded as being a bit weird.]

Applying a force to an object creates a zone of high pressure Q on one side, thus causing it to move. Once an object is moving in Q there is no further resistance to such movement, provided the object keeps on going in a straight line.

Imagine a person standing in a tram car. The tram car stops suddenly. The person experiences strong braking forces on the soles of their feet. But their bodies are flung forward relative to the tram car, especially if they are not holding on. Why?

In Q theory there is a zone of higher pressure Q behind every atom of matter in the person. When the tram car stops the Q keeps pushing the person forward. It is not – as a contemporary of Ernst Mach is reported to have said “the fixed stars that push the person down” but rather the Q all around the moving person.

In Q theory, inertia does not come from far away “fixed stars”. There is no mysterious magic action at a distance in Q theory.

Both static and moving inertia come from a direct proximate relationship between the object and the Q in which it, and everything else, is embedded.

(This part of the Q creation myth at least it fits everyday observational evidence, which is more than can be said for the other explanations, or lack of explanations.)

Curved Motion

A moving object has no cause to move away from its straight line. To make it follow a curved path, a force needs to be applied orthogonally to the direction of travel.

Consider the motion of a small particle in a circular orbit around a massive object lying at the centre of an x-y reference plane. If we plot the momentum in the y direction against time we will see a sine curve. If we plot the momentum in the x direction we will see a cosine curve. It seems like the momentum of the particle is being passed seamlessly from the y direction to the minus x direction, and then to the minus y direction and then to x direction. No energy is gained or lost while all this is taking place.

The object is said to be accelerating constantly. But is not like a linear acceleration. No work is being done. No energy is being gained or lost.

What keeps a moving object travelling in a straight line? In Q theory the answer is simply the fact that the object has no reason to do anything else. But if a force is applied at right angles to the object, then Q will become higher in pressure at that point. The net effect is then that the object’s path bends.

Q theory keeps in mind that there are two types of acceleration – one type involves a transfer of energy to the affected object and the other type does not.

Spinning and Orbiting

The main types of persistent circular motion are spinning and orbiting. In spinning, an object revolves around its own axis and is held together by internal forces.

In orbiting, objects “circle” around each other and are held together by a force such as gravity, or something as simple as a piece of string. Nearly everything in the Universe is spinning or orbiting, or both.

Orbiting is a stable phenomenon that dominates our Universe. Some types of orbits are the basis for atoms. Other types are the basis for galaxies.

Orbiting can be thought of as gravity (or some other force) fighting with inertia and coming to a stable compromise in which neither wins. The overall energy level stays constant.

Thought experiment 1: Consider a large heavy gyroscope made of crystalline glass. It is spinning rapidly in deep space. All of a sudden the glass shatters. Tiny bits of gyroscope fly off in all directions. After a few years the angular momentum that was so obvious when the gyroscope was intact becomes lost in space. One can argue that there always remains an angular momentum vector where the gyroscope once existed, but that would seem to be a bit philosophical.

The issue arises in reverse when countless bits of dust are drawn together under the action of gravity. As the dust particles coalesce it is almost certain than there will be some net angular momentum. This could end up in the form of a spinning star, with or without a solar system. Or even as a whole galaxy. Or even as a super-cluster of galaxies.

Thought experiment 2: Consider a symmetric dumb-bell spinning in empty space. If the bar suddenly shatters into innumerable fragments the two balls will head off in opposite directions – in straight lines parallel to each other and separated by the length of the former bar. Each ball will have equal but opposite momentum. The angular momentum inherent in the spinning system will eventually become lost in space.

Consider the opposite case, two balls approach each other, but slightly off centre. They each have a grappling hook and these hooks snare each other as the balls attempt to pass by. The two balls start spinning around each other. The angular momentum that was hidden in the starting conditions has now become obvious and apparent.

Thought experiment 3: Consider a spinning top or gyroscope. Every atom is said to be undergoing constant acceleration. But no energy is required to maintain the spin. The energy of the top remains constant. However, increasing the rate of spin of the top does require the input of extra energy and once such energy is transferred to the top it stays transferred to the top.

Q Theory Explanation of Mass

Matter refuses to move faster rate unless it is provided with more energy. The more matter in the object, the more force is required to accelerate it. The ratio between the force and the acceleration is the measure of the property that we call the object’s mass.

Mass is a property of matter. It is not the same as matter.

In spite of what is taught in classical dynamics, the mass of an object is not fixed. The object has a certain amount of rest mass that depends upon the Q embodied in it to begin with. But when an object moves in the Q it acquires more energy and this adds to the mass of the object. Not much at first but the effect compounds and becomes very significant at speeds approaching the speed of light.

As the speed of an object increases it gradually acquires more Q and thus requires a little bit of extra force to accelerate it. This process compounds until relativistic effects start to dominate. For example, at 87% of the speed of light, twice as much force is required to give the same amount of acceleration as when the object was at rest.

The implication of this is that matter cannot be accelerated to reach the speed of light. To travel at the speed of light the object has to be free of matter. In short, it has to be a neutrino or a photon.

Be careful how you apply the contra-positive logical argument to the statement “If it contains matter it cannot travel at the speed of light”. The logically equivalent statement is not “If it travels at the speed of light it cannot have mass.”

The logically equivalent statement is “If it travels at the speed of light it cannot contain matter”. Mass and matter are not the same thing. Closely related yes, identical no.

Gravity

Gravity is the greatest force in the Universe. It is a weak force but its effects are additive and unlimited. Gravity is the great organising force of the whole Universe. It is responsible for the wondrous arrangements of countless stars within galaxies and between all the galaxies of the Universe.

It seems somewhat crass therefore, for Albert Einstein to try to get rid of gravity using mathematical trickery on mankind’s concepts of space and time.

Einstein’s model/approach relies on a so-called principle equating localised gravity to linear acceleration, and it then goes on the reformulate Newton’s beautifully simple approach to gravity into a set of ten non-linear differential equations in a four dimensional curved spacetime that is impossible to visualise and very very difficult to solve.

What I think Einstein achieved was a very clever mathematical description of gravity and its effects, including the fact that it slows down time. But there are often different ways to describe the same thing. For example, a cone can be seen as a disc or a triangle depending on the observer’s point of view.

So is General Relativity the perfect, fully complete, final and best way to describe and think about gravity in all its many roles? I doubt it. For a start, I think that General Relativity is so mathematically complicated that many of its mathematical solutions do not correspond to physical reality.

(Here is a simple analogy. Consider the area of a disc. To calculate its radius divide by π and take the square root. There are two answers to this – one positive and one negative. But only one of the answers corresponds to reality. General Relativity has this issue in spades, especially in its cosmologies).

Here is a prosaic, more physical description of gravity using Q theory.

When the Q turns into particles, Q becomes highly concentrated, but outside of the particle it is depleted. The extent of the depletion diminishes according to the inverse square law.

Every piece of matter and every agglomeration of matter is surrounded by a lowered density of Q which gradually normalizes with increased distance away from the object.

The depleted Q creates an odd effect. It distorts time. It causes any timekeeping devices to slow down. Not through any particular physical effect, but because time as we perceive it is an illusion and is not subject to the rules we think it should obey.

The other properties are more familiar. The depleted Q creates a kind of spherical hole. Other material objects and even passing neutrinos and photons are then drawn to the hole and tend to fall into it unless they have enough inertia to escape being so caught.

Any matter encountering a zone of weak Q will tend to move into it. The rest of the Q in the Universe will try to push matter and energy into the low pressure zone. Gravity is as simple as that.

If you must use analogies think of a gravity as matter trying to vacuum up other matter. Matter creates low pressure zone in Q. The rest of the Universe then tries to push other matter into the low pressure zone.

There is no action at a distance. Matter moves under the influence of the Q around it. In Q Theory there is no action at a distance. The effects of gravity, inertia and electric charge all work through the omnipresent Q.

Nor are there any gravitons.

And gravitational waves are simply large scale disturbances in the Q. These disturbances travel through the Q at the speed of light. Unlike neutrinos and photons, which travel in particular directions, gravitational waves tend to spread out as they travel.

You might have noticed a resemblance between gravity and charge. Both obey an inverse square law relationship. But also note two fundamental differences between charge and gravity. Charge is stronger, but gravity is always attractive.

Because gravity is always attractive its effect is cumulative – the more matter there is in one place, the stronger its gravity. This makes gravity the most powerful, longest reaching influence in the Universe. It is the Great Organiser of the whole Universe.

Resisting it is inertia – the Great Resister. Without inertia everything in the Universe would have collapsed into amorphous Q long before we humans had a chance to evolve and become able to observe and question the whole marvelous panoply of creation.

Mass (continued)

Fundamental particles have three fundamental properties: charge, spin and mass. Each electron and positron has the same amount of mass. The amount of mass in an electron or positron is the smallest amount of mass possible.

Q theory argues that mass is not a fundamental intrinsic property of matter. It is a manifestation of the way that matter interacts with Q and with other matter.

Mass is a relational phenomenon, not an intrinsic fundamental property. Of course, seeing that the Universe is all about Q, there is no way that matter can escape having mass, so this is a fine point.

The two interactions that give matter its mass are inertia and gravity. If not for inertia and gravity there would not be any mass. Matter yes, but not mass.

Think about it. How can you tell if a piece of matter has mass? In essence you either weigh it in a gravitational field, or you find out how hard is it to accelerate. If neither method is convenient you can at least watch how it interacts with other bits of matter during movement.

Every scrap of matter has both gravitational mass and inertial mass. As far as well can tell from exquisitely sensitive experiments, gravitational mass and inertial mass are exactly the same.

Matter, Mass and Energy

Matter can be turned into pure energy and vice versa. That is because matter is pure energy. It is made out of Q.

In Q theory. photons and neutrinos have gravitational mass. They contain energy, and energy is Q, and concentrations of Q experience similar effects to matter, which after all consists of special concentrations of lots of Q.

In parts of the Universe that become crowded with material objects, there are a lots of physical interactions and many different forms of energy. Kinetic energy, potential energy, chemical energy etcetera.

It is almost certain that any given material object at any given time will have some kinetic energy. Everything in the Universe is moving.

Quantum Mechanics

At a very small scale, dynamics and electrodynamics are no longer smooth and continuous. Basically because the spin of stable entities has to be a plus or minus ½ or 1 and charge has to be plus or minus 1. Larger particles come in discrete specialised bundles and so do stable electron orbits. So interactions become uncertain and ‘jerky’.

On top of that there are a lot of observational difficulties because the entities are so small that simply detecting them usually involves their destruction.

The result is the weird and wonderful world of quantum mechanics, quantum electrodynamics, quantum chromo-dynamics and so on.

All of which has a bearing on the nature of Q at its most fundamental level. And vice versa.

Summary

Q is responsible for the existence of static, linear and rotational inertia in matter.

Inertia and gravity give rise to the property of matter we call its mass.

The properties of Q are also the reason why Newton’s Laws of Motion are as they are, and why mass increases as the speed of an object through the Q increases.

Gravity also works through the Q and can be thought of as matter/energy being pushed into zones of distorted or depleted Q. You can model the effects by imposing an imaginary spacetime grid and then distorting it all, but that is not necessarily the only valid approach to understanding it.

Gravity and Inertia are the Ying and Yang of the whole Universe – the Great Organizer and the Great Resister. All working with concentrations of Q in a sea of Q.

#Q-theory #origin of mass #origin of inertia #linear and rotational acceleration #Newton's First Law of Motion #action at a distance #Qtheory #OriginofMass #LawofMotion #ActionataDistance #RotationalAcceleration #SirIsaacNewton #OriginofInertia

0 notes