#this is tatiana's show but the internet would have you believing different

[thelastharbinger]

Oh I'm sorry!

Did Marvel give you another case of blue balls while you root for another white male to overshadow the female lead of her own show?

Much love to Charlie Cox, god bless, but I truly could not give a fuck if he shows up in this show or not. She hulk is just a slice-of-life, lighthearted romp. There is no plot, just vibes. If you're not having a good time, that's on you 🤷‍♀️

I will cry laughing if his cameo is just 2 secs of the back of his head or something. It won't be but I love to see yall suffer. Boo hoo!

[songtoyou]

Chapter 2: First Meeting

Tolerate It

Paring: Modern!Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character

Story Rating: R (No minors should read this fic).

Word Count: 2,778

Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault. Sexual activity between two consenting adults.

Description: Tommy Shelby is the owner and CEO of Shelby Company Limited. Starting out as a Bookmaker, Tommy had big ideas to expand his riches. In the past ten years, the company has grown rapidly to expand its business ventures from bars to producing alcohol, manufacturing motor vehicle parts, and exporting. One of the richest men in Great Britain, Tommy Shelby, has it all. Unfortunately, the death of his wife, Grace, left the multi-millionaire mogul alone and depressed. He needed someone to fulfill his needs and deepest darkest desires.

A/N: Again, the response to this fic has been wonderful. We learn more about Rose and find out why Lizzie left. Rose meets Tommy for the first time and begins the process of solidifying their arrangement. 

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people actually like this fic. 

I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Saturday rolled faster than a blink of an eye. Rose was not nervous about tonight's meeting with her new client. A part of her was looking forward to it. Taking the time to look up Tommy Shelby on the Internet, Rose found out more about the man she would be possibly spending most of her time around. His backstory was interesting. The man started from nothing. It was no wonder Tommy was a massive celebrity within the business community. Inspiring entrepreneurs looked up to him and how he accumulated his wealth.

Rose was aware that Tommy's business practices were not always ethical, just like she knew that Alfie, Luca, and her other clients all dealt in questionable behavior to stay ahead of the game. It was like these guys did not know that the 1920s were long gone, and their little gangs should have considered obsolete in these present times. But it was not her job to question them as part of her did not care. All Rose wanted was to get paid and have a little pleasure herself once in a while. She hoped Tommy was good in bed as Lizzie mentioned he was. She had no reason not to believe her former coworker. 

It was a terrible incident at the club that made Lizzie leave for good. All because of Oswald Mosley and his sick and deviant behavior. Oswald was a Member of Parliament for South Staffordshire and the youngest member of the Conservative party. His influence within the party continued to gain strength as the young politician expressed his outlandish views that tended to lean towards fascism. Many other MPs have tried to rebuke Mosley's power but to no avail. His supporters only rallied behind him more. He was garnering more attention and enthusiasm to start his very own nationalist party within Great Britain. This idea worried many other MPs, even within the Conservative Party.

As Mosley's profile continued to rise, he found himself needing a form of release. It did not take long for him to receive an invitation to join Excelsior. Politicians were another form of clientele for the club. However, word soon spread about Mosley's odd behavior with the girls. The man had a weird fetish for rape and sexual assault fantasies. Not many girls wanted to partake in that act. Rose quickly passed on having Mosley as one of her clients since non-consensual/dubious consent was not something she gravitated towards when it came to pleasure.

Some of the girls confided in Rose they felt after being with Mosley. Many were scared to inform Izabella or Tatiana in fear of getting fired. Unfortunately, it took the incident with Lizzie that left her brutally scarred, both physically and psychologically, to have Mosley permanently banned from Excelsior. What made it worse was that no one could do anything to Mosley outside the club, no police reports, no arrests, nothing. He was too powerful.

The only thing Lizzie said to Rose was that Mosley took it too far and that she was rethinking her time at the club. When Lizzie did not show up for three days, Rose knew that she left the life of escorting for good.

Giving herself one last look in the mirror, Rose opted for the wine-colored long drape dress, with a silver belt to extenuate her hips, and topped it off with silver ankle strap heels. Satisfied with how she looked, Rose grabbed her clutch (silver as well) and walked towards the front door.

"Mom, you are coming home later, right?" asked Louis as he sat in the living room watching television.

"Uh…probably won't be home until late. I'm simply hanging out with the girls. Don't wait up, sweetie," said Rose kissing her son on the top of his head.

"Aren't you a little too dressed up for a girl's night out?"

"Louis, darling, here is some advice about women. We like to look nice now and then. It makes us feel good. So, don't ever question why your mummy is all dolled up, okay. The girls and I are celebrating Ellie's promotion at the firm. That is all. Now, do not stay up too late. See you later, love."

"Bye, mum."

Rose hated lying to her son, but there was no way she would ever reveal the truth to him about how they could afford their lifestyle.

As a teen mom, Rose worked tirelessly from different part-time jobs to get food on the table. She was tired of struggling to make ends meet. Rose wanted more for her son. By Rose's mid-twenties, she bit the bullet and became an exotic dancer. The nerves and humiliation wore off quickly when Rose counted her tips. It was the most she had ever made and all in one night. She had no intentions of ever becoming a high-end call girl. But again, the money proved to be too good to pass up. It also helped the Duchess and Princess give their girls some sense of agency and control over what they do and partake in certain activities. Rose's clients did not seem to understand or realize that she held all of the power. She was not a puppet, nor was she naïve.

Tommy continued to check his watch every fifteen minutes. Rose was not late by any means; it was merely a habit. It gave him something to do since he was not allowed to smoke at The Savoy. He instructed Rose to meet at the hotel's bar and restaurant at precisely 9:00 p.m.

He was not nervous as Tommy Shelby did not get nervous. He wanted to get the night started. The man needed some release.

"Mr. Shelby," spoke the hostess. "I have a Miss Turner here to see you."

"Yes, thank you. Send Miss Turner over, please," ordered Tommy and downed his glass of Irish whiskey in one gulp.

For a second, Tommy thought he forgot how to breathe when he saw Rose walk towards him. He would not deny that she was breathtakingly beautiful.

"Mr. Shelby," she greeted him with a quick kiss on his cheek. Thankfully, no lipstick residue on his face. Men hated when that happened, Rose learned.

"Miss Turner. It is a pleasure to meet you in person finally," said Tommy as he helped Rose into her seat. He could be a gentleman when he wanted to be one.  His Aunt Polly raised him right.

After giving her drink order to the waiter and a refill for Tommy, the two were left alone for the time being. Unsure of where the conversation should start, Rose chose to cut to the chase.

"How do you want tonight to go, exactly? Are we here to talk about, I don't know what you call it, our agreement, our arrangement? Or should we…"

"I say we talk about what we like and don't like," Tommy cut Rose off.

When the waiter brought their drinks, Rose took a sip of her white wine, while Tommy sipped his whiskey.

"My file should have included my interests. What I will and won't do with a man," Rose reminded him.

"Indeed, it did, but a file can only tell me so much. I would rather hear it from you, Miss Turner. So, tell me, what gets you off?" asked Tommy in a low voice as he leaned over the table. Thankfully, the two were at a back corner table with no other patrons around.

Taking another sip of her wine, Rose leaned in as well. "I like being dominated. From your file, you like being the dominant one. I like being tied up, gagged, and made to cum over and over again until I can't take it anymore. Orgasm denial, I like that as well—humiliation or degradation, whatever you want to call it. I don't care for that at all. It has never turned me on."

"What about pain? What is your pain threshold?" Tommy questioned.

"Pretty high."

"So, nipple clamps, whips, floggers…none of that bothers you?"

Rose shook her head 'no' and asked Tommy what kinds of punishment he prefers.

"Spankings with my bare hands and edging. Punishments only occur if I deem you being bratty or don't follow my rules."

Rose nodded, indicating she understood. "Pretty standard forms of punishment for a dominant."

The waiter stopped by again, asking if they wanted another drink or order some food. "I'm okay, thank you," said Rose.

"I liked to order champagne for our room, please," Tommy requested and told the waiter his room number. Rose was not surprised that he was in one of the hotel's suites. On different occasions, she had been to The Savoy Hotel, mostly with her other clients for leisurely visits now and then when they called for her services.

Taking another sip of her drink, Rose started to feel unsure to ask Tommy next. "Is there anything particular that you like or don't like?"

Gulping down his whiskey once again, Tommy stood up from his seat and helped you out of yours.

"Let's head up, and I can show you what I like. You can take your drink with you," mentioned Tommy buttoning up his suit jacket.

Rose gulped down her wine and grabbed her purse. "No need. I'm ready," she said and looped her arm around his. Tommy kept his strides short throughout the walk to the elevator. Rose noticed how the other hotel patrons all seemed to fawn over the man she was with while the employees moved out of his way. Rose found it amusing when in the elevator the people who were already in quickly left, leaving them alone on the ride up to his suit.

"People go out of their way to accommodate you, don't they, Mr. Shelby. Must be nice to have all that power over others," Rose stated admiringly.

Tommy smirked and looked at Rose, "When you come from nothing, you work extra hard to achieve everything, even peoples' fear of you. What about you? Must you find it exhilarating to have powerful men at your fingertips? I would not be shocked that once your clients and I told Tatiana that I have an idea of who they are, well, they are not going to be happy about losing you to me. I have a lot of enemies, Miss Turner, but rest assure that while you are in my company, you will be safe and protected."

The elevator dinged indicated they made it to their destination. Leading the way once again, Tommy steered them down the hall and stopped at the door of his suite. Once he got Rose inside, he took off his suit jacket and opened the doors to the balcony where he could finally get his nicotine fix. He offered one to Rose, but she declined. Tommy watched as Rose looked around the suite. He took this time to look at the woman before him; she would not be deemed the model-type with her 5'7 stature, nor was she skin and bones. Dark brown hair ran past her shoulders, and her skin had a lovely complexion. Tommy took one last drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out on the balcony.

He slowly walked up behind Rose and wrapped his strong arms around, inhaling her scent; he began to grind himself against her backside. Rose promptly reciprocated and matched his rhythm. Trailing kisses down Rose's neck, Tommy moved his hands to squeeze her breasts. He quickly turned her around and began kissing her on the mouth. His dominant side was finally allowed to be released.

When Rose pulled away, it took Tommy by surprise. When he began to pull Rose back towards him, she put her hands on his chest. "I need to freshen up first, is that okay?"

Letting out a sigh, Tommy motioned her towards the bathroom. "I won't be long; I promise," assured Rose. Once in the bathroom, she began to take off her heels and dress. She hung her dress on the door hook, placed her heels to the side, and then looked herself over in the mirror. Smoothing out her hair, Rose dug in her clutch to quickly check her phone. No messages from her son. Now, Rose would be able to focus on the task at hand entirely.

Rose exited the bathroom to see Tommy waiting for her on the couch, no longer wearing his tie and vest, shirt partly unbuttoned. She walked towards him, where he indicated he wanted Rose on her knees. Spreading his legs, Rose kneeled and began unzipping his pants, reaching for his hardened member and gave it a few strokes. She looked up to see Tommy stretch and lay his head back against the couch, indicated he was comfortable and was ready for Rose to begin. Rose licked her lips and opened her mouth to take him in as much as far as possible. Rose did not stop until she felt him at the back of her throat.

Rose pulled away for a second to lick off the precum of Tommy's dick before proceeding to lick the entire length. She went back to sucking once Tommy put his hand in her hair. He bobbed her head back and forth at a fast pace. Tommy felt like he was about to explode his load in Rose's mouth he backed off. Rose took the time to catch her breath. She watched as Tommy took off his shirt and got up from the couch.

"Up," he ordered, and Rose followed obediently.

She never took her eyes off Tommy while he walked to the bedroom.

"Take this off," Tommy ordered, indicating he wanted her bra off.

Once again, Rose followed his orders. She tossed the bra to the side, and Tommy walked closer to her. He reached for her breast and began to squeeze them, tugging on her nipples. When he started to pull her nipples extra hard, Rose let out a little squeak.

"Too hard?" Tommy asked and released his tight grip.

"No. I mean, it hurts, but it feels good too," Rose answered truthfully.

Tommy once again started pulling on her nipples as hard as he could without hurting Rose too much. He pressed his lips against hers. Rose quickly reciprocated the action and ran her hands through his hair. Backing Rose towards the bed, he lightly pushed her, where she softly plopped down. Tugging her underwear down, Tommy tossed them to the side and ran a finger up-and-down her folds.

"Wet, as I expected. Let me see how many fingers you can take, shall we," amused Tommy and slipped, not one, but two fingers inside Rose. He soon began pumping his fingers in and out.

He kept going while Rose emitted more moans from her mouth. She was panting and getting closer to needing release. But she knew a sweet release would not come easy. No, Tommy was going to have Rose work for it. She was about the beg to cum when Tommy pulled his fingers out of her cunt.

Tracing his thumb against her clit, Rose let out a squeal at the new feeling. Tommy smirked. That feeling of control, control over this woman's body, it's what made Tommy feel at ease. It allowed for his head to feel clear. Tommy did not have to worry about business deals or rival gangs; instead, his focus was all on the woman before him writhing in pleasure.

Inserting his fingers back in her cunt, Tommy added a third finger this time. Rose sat up on her elbows to watch Tommy. She saw the looked of deep concentration on his face. When he reached that spot, Rose jerked up, and Tommy used his free hand to push her back down on the bed.

"I'm going to cum. I need to cum," Rose panted out, but Tommy kept going.

"Not yet," he merely said. "You do not cum until I say you can, understood." It was an order, not a question.

"Yes…yes sir," Rose managed to say. She did not know how long she would last.

"Cum!" Tommy commanded and Rose more than happily followed it.

Pure bliss is all Rose felt until Tommy pried her mouth open with the fingers that were in her.

"Lick them clean for me, love. Taste yourself."

When she licked his fingers clean, Tommy took off his pants and underwear. He crawled on top of Rose and began kissing her stomach, each breast, her neck, and finally lips.

"You're not tired out yet, are you love?" he asked her.

When Rose shook her head no, Tommy leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Good. It is going to be a long night for you."

[dear-my-dear-diary]

Why No Way Home Is Not What You Expect, an Essay

Introduction

In honor of National Spider-Man Day, I want to talk a bit about the 3rd iteration of Tom Holland's Spider-Man coming out this Christmas.

It has been over 2 years since Spider-Man: Far From Home was released and we are officially less than 5 months from the next Spider-Man movie. Despite this, both Marvel Studios and Sony have not said a single word about the plot for this movie. I know that I personally thought that after the title was released, a teaser trailer would be relatively soon behind. But instead, Sony and Marvel have chosen complete silence.

With a lot of hype recently and people thinking the trailer will be coming soon, I've been thinking about this movie a lot and I've come to the conclusion that Sony and Marvel are doing this on purpose. One of the biggest themes of FFH boils down to "Don't believe everything you read on the Internet," and what has happened in the vacuum of information surrounding NWH, theories. A lot of theories. Like an insane amount of theories, some of which have been crazy. They have basically turned the promotion for their movie into the message of the movie, which is that you should not believe what you read on the Internet.

I think the most popular theory that has been put forth is that of a live-action spider-verse. I personally do not want this. I love Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield as much as the next person and I love the Into the Spider-Verse movie, but I think that it has been too soon since the animated movie to make a live-action version. Another big theory has been that Charlie Cox's Daredevil/Matt Murdock will be present in the movie and the biggest one being that the multiverse will be opened.

The reason I don't necessarily believe in this has to do with the way Marvel has separated their movies in the past and how I think they are going to be separating their movies in the future. Through the Infinity Saga, the heroes could be divided based on where they fight. Most of the heroes were Earth-bound (Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, etc.), but there were also a handful of Space-based heroes (Thor, Carol Danvers, the Guardians, etc.). This divide was in place until the culmination where all the heroes were forced to come together in Infinity War and Endgame. I believe they are going to be doing the same in this new saga with the divide being grounded heroes (Sam Wilson, Yelena Belova, Kate Bishop, etc.) and magic-users (Wanda Maximoff, Loki, Sylvie, etc.). Just like in the Infinity Saga these heroes will eventually come together to fight someone bigger but I don't think that is coming just yet.

This is where the conflict comes in: I think almost anyone would agree that Peter Parker should fall into the category of grounded heroes, but Doctor Strange (who has already been confirmed as being in NWH) belongs in the second category. So, where is NWH going to fall? I personally think it'll be more on the grounded side because it is a Spider-Man movie with Doctor Strange not a Doctor Strange movie with Spider-Man.

My Theories

I don’t think that NWH is going to feature the broken multiverse throughout the movie. At the most I think the movie will end or there will be an end-credit scene which teases the beginning of Multiverse of Madness, which is where the multiverse will actually be broken.

I don’t think Tobey Maguire or Andrew Garfield are going to show up in the movie. I feel like they are both too big of names that there wouldn’t be photos of them on their way to set.

I think there is a small chance that Charlie Cox is in the movie. The theory I have seen (which I think would be very awesome) is that Matt Murdock will be hired as Peter’s lawyer. I think if Peter is going to need a lawyer though I think it’s more likely that they will bring in Tatiana Malaney as Jennifer Walters which would be a great way to introduce her character ahead of the She-Hulk series coming in 2022.

I do think that the majority of the movie is going to be focused around resolving the events of FFH and clearing Peter’s name. That’s the biggest reason why I think there will be a lawyer present. I think the presence of Jamie Foxx and Alfred Molina as the same characters from a different franchise is just a coincidence, kinda like Evan Peters as Fietro in WandaVision. But I do think it’s going to be one of those movies where there are multiple parties zoning in on our protagonist (like Ant-Man and the Wasp or the 2nd Pirates movie), where there is Peter running from the government while also running away from Team Mysterio (who in Quentin Beck’s absence have recruited new talent in the form of Electro and Doc Oct).

Conclusion

I don’t actually know anything about NWH, but I do think it will be the best entry in the Spider-Man trilogy. In terms of a trailer, right now I’m thinking early September. As I was saying earlier, the longer Sony waits to release this trailer, the more time the rumor mill has to keep turning out absurder and absurder theories which will only heighten the movie's theme of lies and deception on the Internet.

I would be really interested to see what others think, and how excited y'all are for the release of the trailer and the movie itself

~~~

I think the biggest takeaway is I just spent an entire afternoon writing this which means it's time for school to start again because I am officially bored. :)

--Rosi

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

Arina and Nina used to only meet once a week - at activities organised for the care home where Nina lived. Now, Arina is applying to become Nina's guardian, giving the 27-year-old hope she might finally be able to leave the institution where she has lived her entire adult life.

For the past few months Nina Torgashova has been able to enjoy an independence that had always been out of reach for her - shopping, cooking and washing her own clothes.

Things that would be every-day life experiences for most 27-year-olds.

But not for Nina, who has always lived in institutions, and moved when she was 18 to what, in Russia, is called a psycho-neurological care home. When the pandemic hit, she was able to savour life outside the home, with a volunteer, Arina Muratova.

Nina recalls the moment she found out she was leaving.

"I never thought anyone would take me. I had thought: "Oh no, I am going to be stuck in the care home."

It was April 2020 and the Covid-19 pandemic forced Moscow into lockdown. As visits to Nina's institution were stopped, charities lobbied for volunteers to be allowed to take responsibility for some of the residents until they could start up again.

Arina, a market research expert who loves nail art and embroidery, offered to look after Nina.

But when the 27-year-old got a taste for the freedom she'd never had, she decided she didn't want to go back.

Her 31-year-old friend was faced with a life-changing decision.

Arina has been involved in voluntary work for a decade - starting with helping children with learning difficulties and their families. She then became involved in adult care, which is when she met Nina through a Russian charity called Life Route. The charity organises trips and classes for the residents of some Russian psycho-neurological care homes (known as PNIs).

Arina started volunteering in PNI 22 - where Nina was living with hundreds of other residents - about four years ago. The care home looks after adults with a wide range of disorders, thought to relate to both cognitive disabilities and mental illness of varying severity.

Arina and Nina got to know each other through the charity Life Route which organises camps for the care home residents

Nina's diagnosis remains confidential to everyone except her care home director. This is usually the case for those residents the state judges are unable to live independently. So neither she nor Arina know why she is in the home, but Arina is surprised that she is.

Although Nina struggles with literacy and maths, Arina says she is very capable.

"She is such a quick learner and is well-adapted in everyday living," she says.

Nina was admitted to a home for disabled children when she was very young, before transferring to the PNI at 18. It is not clear whether she was taken to the children's home by her parents or was forcibly removed from their care.

She says they visited her there once, but she was frightened and hid under the bed.

"They were drunks. I was afraid. They stank of alcohol," she says.

Arina says Nina always stood out during her visits with Life Route, taking an active role in the activities and trips organised by the charity

"Nina was a very active person at her care home," says Arina. "She took part in various creative activities: amateur dramatics, arts and crafts workshops. She took part in sporting competitions, too: she played darts, she played football. Football was something she really missed after leaving the home."

When the lockdown last spring made these visits impossible, Arina suggested Zoom calls with the residents instead. But from the start is was clear this wasn't going to work - the home's internet simply wasn't strong enough. Other charities helping other care homes in Moscow and St Petersburg were facing similar problem

So these charities pressured the authorities to allow some care home residents to be released for the lockdown.

"It was all arranged in a day, and the next day the person was out. I cannot imagine anything like this before the pandemic," says Life Route's director Ivan Rozhansky.

Nevertheless Arina admits she was nervous when she made the initial decision to look after Nina. She was counting on Nina's relative independence, given she needed to work from home.

"There was a certain calculation in taking Nina. I had a lot of work to do, even during the lockdown. I realised I had to live with someone who'd be able to occupy themselves - at least some the time. With Nina it was clear that I'd be able to say: 'Now I have to work for three hours but afterwards we can make lunch together!'"

But Nina's move into the flat the charity had given the pair to live in during lockdown did get off to a slightly rocky start.

"She had very few possessions with her, just a small rucksack. She looked lost. While I was signing papers brought by the care worker, she walked around the flat. She didn't look especially overjoyed, and I had been counting on that.

"When I saw Nina looking so lost, I wondered if this had been a good idea. It's one thing to ask a person in a text if they want to move, but it's quite different to actually move them."

But not long afterwards, Arina shared a selfie with the other volunteers of herself with a grinning Nina, arms raised in joy.

Not only did Nina start shopping for food and cooking for herself, Arina arranged for her to have a maths tutor - important now she was buying things on her own.

"It's not that Nina doesn't understand things. She just never needed maths before," Arina says.

Arina herself began helping Nina with her literacy - she could read and write, but slowly and with difficulty.

"I need to be able to read and write," says Nina. "To be able to cook for myself, to go to work. I do want to have a job.

"I could make and sell friendship bracelets. I asked Arina: 'Do you know anyone who might want one?' She asked her mum, her mum was quite keen. I said: 'I will sort this!' Her mum picked the colours, Arina showed me a photo [of the colours], and I started making it."

Arina says she wanted to make sure she gave Nina responsibility for herself, rather than always taking charge, even if this did not always go to plan.

She cites the example of Nina wanting to learn to draw. Arina found another volunteer who could teach her over Zoom, and explained to Nina that she should make sure she joined the lessons. But after a while she discovered Nina had been missing some sessions.

"I don't want to chase another grown-up and pester them," says Arina. "I felt this was the kind of responsibility Nina could sustain, and we had conflicts around it."

But on another occasion Arina wanted to be more involved in Nina's life than regulations allowed.

Nina had complained of a terrible stomach ache and was admitted to hospital for several days of tests. Arina was not allowed to stay with her because she was not a relative or guardian.

"Pleas, send Nina some reassuring messages," she texted to the volunteer group chat. "Poor thing's terrified, she is having a third blood test and is scared."

Thankfully there was nothing seriously wrong.

As the Moscow lockdown eased in June, the Life Route charity was faced with a challenge.

"It became obvious that those people our foundation took to the assisted living flats for the duration of the quarantine did not want to go back to the PNI," says Ivan Rozhansky, the charity's director.

These institutions have been a focus of concern for some time.

In early 2019, Russia's deputy prime minister Tatiana Golikova ordered an inspection of living conditions in 192 psycho-neurological care homes. A consumer watchdog, Rospotrebnadzor, discovered violations of health and safety and other regulations in around 80% of them.

In January of this year Russia's Ministry of Labour introduced a number of structural changes to the provision of care for those in PNIs, including a move to help social workers provide assistance for some people in private homes rather than in state institutions.

"Obviously, all these changes will not be realised immediately on January 1, 2021, but step-by-step the situation will be changing," Golikova said.

Maria Sisneva from the charity Stop PNI says the quality of life in Russian care homes is poor.

"At a PNI you will have 500-1,000 people living in close quarters, but with very different levels of ability, and different backgrounds, different needs. They live in extremely cramped conditions, at best they'd be two to a small room, often in corridors, in spaces similar to military barracks, isolated from the outside world. They barely have any real social experience."

The director of PNI 22, where Nina was living, is clear about the benefits of care homes, however.

"The main advantage of psycho-neurological homes is security," says Anton Kliuchev. "The residents are looked after by professionals, who know exactly how to help and support them, how to talk to them, how to take care of them."

Care homes for people with specialist needs and mental illness exist all over the world. But from the mid-20th Century in the US and some European countries, a process of deinstitutionalisation started, aimed at replacing long-stay closed facilities with care within the community. Yet, in Russia care homes are still the predominant model.

According to Russian government statistics, as of February 2020 there were more than 150,000 people living in PNIs.

Unlike many countries, Russia's assisted living provision is only in its infancy. National charities believe that if this alternative system were more established, many care home residents could leave their institutions.

"Right now the system in Russia is such that if a person is believed to be insufficiently independent by the state, there is nowhere for them to go apart from a PNI, or [for those with physical disabilities] an invalids' home," says Sisneva.

Life Route began to discuss how the assisted living arrangement could be made permanent for the nine people they rehoused during lockdown. The charity rented four apartments, including one for Nina to share with fellow care home residents Sergey and Ivan. Arina moved back to her own apartment, and began instead to spend one night a week at Nina's new accommodation on rotation with other volunteers.

But there was another hurdle.

The PNI can only release their residents' care permanently to Life Route if those people have what is termed "legal capacity" - in other words, the state considers them able to function independently in theory, even if in practice they are in a care home.

Nina does not have legal capacity - all decisions about her life are made for her by the director of her PNI. As Nina is so functionally able, it is not clear why this is, though experts say it can be simply a foible of the system. If, like Nina, someone has arrived from previous care such as a children's home, and has never been properly assessed, their legal status might never be challenged.

So Arina has applied to become Nina's guardian.

"One day it just sort of clicked. And I realised I had to do it."

If her request is granted, Arina will become responsible for every element of Nina's life - financial, practical, emotional and medical. As her guardian the PNI will finally share Nina's diagnosis with her.

The process won't be straightforward, she says, involving extensive financial, physical and psychological check-ups on Arina.

"Emotionally [the decision] wasn't easy either," says Arina. "But once I took Nina out of the care home, she became my responsibility."

This all-consuming obligation might explain why there are so few people who volunteer to become legal guardians in Russia.

While Arina waits to be granted Nina's guardianship, the PNI could demand that Nina - whose state benefits they are currently losing out on - return to them at any time.

Meanwhile, Arina says she is still working out the exact role she plays in Nina's life.

"I can never be Nina's mum. I will never be able to give her the childhood she deserved."

But she accepts that Nina sees her as much more than a friend. Nina expects her presence on all important errands: to the dentist, to get her ears pierced, to get registered at the local GP.

And these new responsibilities have come at a time when life has been tough for Arina in other ways.

"It wasn't just Nina who went through a big emotional change. I went through a lot emotionally, too - during this time my salary was cut; I have had complicated developments in my personal life."

But Arina says all this has brought them closer together.

"Once you have gone through all these experiences [alongside another person], it is hard to backpedal.

"I won't say I'm not anxious about it. I'm incredibly anxious. And there are certain people around me who freak me out even more. They keep asking me. 'Have you thought it through? It's for life!'

"I calm myself down by saying that we have a plan."

That plan is to work towards eventually restoring Nina's full legal capacity.

Nina needs to be deemed independent by the state if she ever wants to live alone or get a job.

Other than Arina, she has one other close relationship - with a man called Sasha, who she met in PNI 22, and who is now in assisted living in a different apartment. Nina regularly meets up with Sasha in the city, and is clearly fond of him. Arina is aware that Nina may want to eventually marry and she would need legal capacity for that too.

So Arina hopes Nina's tutoring will give her the option to be assessed at some point.

"Examiners look closely at a person's reading, writing and counting abilities," Arina has heard.

The process is not publicly available but anecdotal accounts suggest it can include everything from being expected to dance or sing a song, or even know the price of a loaf of bread.

Arina says they won't apply for Nina to take this test until she is as prepared as she can be.

In the meantime, Arina is involved in all the important moments of Nina's life.

"Maybe I'm just the type of person that is not afraid of responsibility. It is an unexpected - but actually a good thing - that has happened to me.

"I love her. There's not much to it. I love her very much."

My Friend from a Care Home is available to watch now on YouTube.

[it-hurts-because-it-mattered]

Okay, so I was talking to the wonderful @fuck-yeah-firebringer​ about Spies are Forever and we got on to my interpretation of Owen, then she convinced me I should post all my ranting about it.

Essentially, I don’t think Owen was a villain. (Not just that he’s sympathetic or “good deep down inside”, but genuinely not a villain and actually at least as heroic as Curt, possibly moreso.)

Before I even start I’ll acknowledge that he’s clearly an antagonist regardless of his morality; he’s working against Curt at every turn and also working on personal revenge against him. But I’m going to argue that Curt is on the wrong side of that struggle, and that Owen has a legitimate right to revenge.

First thing’s first: Chimera, and the plan that drives the plot. Owen somehow survives his fall and the subsequent explosion and, after a while of presumably recovering physically and certainly working through his feelings of anger and betrayal, he decides that what he’s going to take away from that night is a lesson about what happens when people are allowed to operate with minimal oversight, less accountability, and an almost mandatory surplus of arrogance. He himself spends the night casually torturing his lover, before the two of them jovially maim a man and tell him he should be thanking them, and that’s treated as charming and par for the course. Then Curt decides to needlessly blow up the building, fully intending to kill everyone inside, and proceeds to drink on the job while making a game of secretly setting the timer dangerously short, and seemingly gets his partner killed with his recklessness. 

After this decision, he joins Chimera. All we know about Chimera is that it’s a diverse group of powerful people pooling their resources and influences to try and make a better world. Because this comes from Owen, we assume that this is actually some sinister conspiracy, but why should it be? All we see them endeavouring to do is break down the way spies operate (at the height of the Cold War, I might add) because it leaves way too much collateral damage by inventing the internet and allowing the intelligence community to use bugs and computers for gathering their intel, instead of using armed men. And Barb is working on this exact same technology on behalf of the US! It’s not as though we’re supposed to believe there’s something inherently horrifying about it. (Plus, you know, we live in a world where it actually was invented and we generally consider it to be a very positive thing.)

Next let’s move on to his time undercover as The Deadliest Man Alive. He has exactly three on-stage kills that aren’t nazis: a man who’s killed over 1400 people, including his colleague in cold blood literally 10 seconds ago, and undoubtedly deserved to die. The useless prince who... Okay, didn’t deserve it, and that’s clearly an example of the kind of collateral damage that Owen is working to make obsolete, but in the context of a Cold War spy story political assassination is kind of value-neutral, neither good nor bad, and there are plenty of ways you could argue it was for the greater good considering how utterly useless he’s supposed to be. (I’m not actually making any of those arguments, this is not a good moment for Owen and I’m not going to seriously defend killing an innocent man, however useless he was, but given how morally grey spies in general are, I don’t think this really qualifies him as even slightly villainous.) And finally, the Informant. I don’t have any kind of canonical excuse for this one (apart from as a necessity for him to escape? But that’s pretty flimsy) except to say that Curt and Tati have both done far worse, and that we’re working with some very morally grey characters. However I personally think this killing was entirely justified, as I thoroughly distrust Informant.

(I can’t really articulate or properly defend that distrust, there's just something about all his disguises/roles and how seriously he takes them as roles while also being kind of terrible at his job (leaving the plans lying around, causing Curt problems all through the casino, being a complete mess at the meeting just before he's killed), and his whole thing about not recognising the man in the mirror seems ominous. Plus he had literally no relationship with Curt beyond two brief, not too friendly, jobs together (cafe and casino) but signed up with him to throw his career away and risk his life? I just generally get a shady feeling from him. (Bonus points for during One More Shot when he cuts himself off mid-sentence then says he forgot what I was going to say, I think it was going to be something incriminating that almost slipped out because he was drunk but he caught himself in time.) I choose to think that he was some kind of double agent, or setting himself up to betray Curt, or some other issue, and that Owen knew about it and killed him for it. After all, DMA seems to see straight through his disguise in the meeting and be intentionally making him uncomfortable.)

Of course, there’s the matter of his reputation and his kill record. To start with, my biggest assumption here is that all his kills (at least as DMA) have been under comparable circumstances to his on stage kills. Either necessary collateral damage in a way that’s par for the course as a spy, or people (e.g. nazis and mass murders) who deserve killing. Secondly... There’s no way that he’s killed over 1400 people in the 5 years since he survived the fall. Which means that either he’s claiming kills he hasn’t made, or the number is accurate and he’s including his kills from his years working for the British. (Or both, and he’s claiming unsolved murders to kill the place of his old kills because he’s undercover.) Unless he’s claiming kills that aren’t his, the Agency’s supposed file of his victims is obvious bullshit. And even if he is making false claims, it’s still hard to believe that they would have poured the resources into tracking and recording all of these kills, along with pictures and ages of the victims, yet been unable to actually catch him. All of this is to say that basically I call bullshit on the “penchant for females ages fourteen to twenty two” line; it’s either Agency propaganda or DMA falsely claiming those kills to bolster his reputation. He’s definitely a killer, but so’s Curt, and so’s Tati, and we have no reason to think he’s been any more cruel and callous about his killing than they have.

Essentially... A spy is a spy, forever, whatever. Owen didn’t stop being a spy, he only started working for a different agency; one that seems to genuinely be set on building a better world instead of gathering national power.

And this leaves us with the revenge against Curt. Curt nearly got him killed, and then left him for dead. This would be bad from anyone, but between what they owed each other as lovers and the obligations of partners to look out for each other, it’s a particularly terrible thing. He had every right to pursue and enact his revenge, yet he could never quite pull the trigger.

In part 3, Curt is rusty and let’s DMA get inside his grip, at which point he unloads his gun in a panic. Owen lets him unload every single shot, before easily taking the gun out of Curt’s hand, so he probably could have taken it at any point. Even then, Curt is left unarmed, surrounded by Owen’s allies, while Owen still has (at least) his machete, yet he leaves Curt unharmed and runs off.

At the end of the first act, he has Curt at his mercy, and tortures him. This is definitely him getting his revenge. But it’s also a way to put off actually killing him, and once he’s got the blade to Curt’s throat, he’s still so, so slow about it that I’m not at all certain he would have gone through with it if Tati hadn’t intervened.

After he kills Informant, he could have easily shot Tati and Curt too, but instead he lets them go.

Throughout Cut To The Chase, he seems to be hugely more skilled than Curt with every single weapon they use, implying that he could have killed Curt at any time but instead is just playing with him.

And then the final confrontation... Curt was utterly defeated and vulnerable. And there were several dramatically appropriate moments for Owen to finally do it... But every time he let the moment pass, and kept on talking, because he could never actually pull the trigger. Then Curt disarms him, and he doesn’t even seem to care too much, and then Curt coldly executes the lover he betrayed and abandoned.

I won’t even get into all the details and intricacies of Owen’s emotions throughout that penultimate section, that part is easy enough for everybody to watch and see his mixed feelings, though different people will have different opinions on exactly what means what. (Me and @fuck-yeah-firebringer found ourselves precisely reversed on which lines we each thought were angry and which we thought were loving, so that seems like a lost cause to specify. :’) )

I'm not trying to say that he's a particularly good person or anything, but I don't think he qualifies as an actual villain, and I think he actually comes off as more heroic than Curt, all things considered. They’re both spies, with all the moral issues that follow, but Owen is working towards what seems to be a more noble goal, seems to be a lot more careful than Curt “we gotta blow this whole facility” Mega about who gets hurt along the way, and can’t bring himself to kill his old lover, who in turn shows no hesitation before executing him.

[the-grumpy-panda]

Eat Them Up, Yum!

No fish heads here. Just the remains of my counter top junk food blow out. I can use my counter again! The real treat within these treats may be the two (originally three, but one was cancelled on the sellers end, and of course it's the one I really wanted. Maybe next time...) chips I ordered from Canada, because why not? Thanks Ebay! I've already gotten candy from all over the world, so let's see what the Canadians are hiding. Besides the secret to producing attractive celebrities. Curse you Ryan Reynolds. Do you know how hard you make it for us average folk? Bastard. But I'm keeping Neve Campbell and Evangeline Lilly. They are mine now! Oh, and Emily VanCamp. Thanks so much. I'll probably just blow right through these and make any comments short and direct. I think I'm simply ready to be done with this phase of eating. **Quick note. Parts of this were written months ago. So excuse the fact that some of these treats may no longer be on shelves. Maybe I should change my nom de plume to "That Fuc*ing Lazy-Ass Panda." HEY! Even Grumpy Panda's get busy. Orphan Black marathons won't watch themselves. But don't ask me to tell you about the show. I'm merely in love with Tatiana Maslany. Wait a minute... lemme check this internet thing... WOW! Another Canadian! Yup. MINE. Seriously, Canada... what's in your water up there? On to the eaty (Fake word number 46.) things -Honey Roasted Reese's Peanut Butter Cups! Almost no discernible difference from a regular Reese's cup. The aftertaste is where this gets you, but not pleasantly. There's an acrid note coming way at the end, and a bit of an oily sensation somehow. -Barbecue Payday candy bar! Take a Payday, roll it in some dry rub barbecue seasoning, and you'd have this bar. It doesn't work all that well, though. It's not gross, and I think I've learned that peanuts coated with a dry rub barbecue mix would be delicious, but the barbecue does not mix well with the sweet nougat portion. At all. -Hershey's Cherry Cheesecake candy bar! An unpleasant smell is the first thing to greet you. It's like a cheap, institutional soap almost. Taste wise, I don't like it. Whatever they did to try to get the white chocolate (not something I'm a fan of to begin with) to taste a bit more like cheesecake is off, and it leaves me reminded of lavender candy... which is also not very good. This may be due to the cherry element. It's present, and were it not for the surrounding chocolate, it might be a decent flavor element. Maybe they'll try this part in another bar. Then there's the cookie bits, which make the bar look unappealing as well. Little dark pieces festooned like barnacles. I suppose this is meant to simulate a crust like element, and while it does add a needed crunch, that's about all it does right. -Strawberry Kit-Kats! Was strawberry a flavor in the mix from all those Japanese Kit-Kats I tried way back when? I can't recall, but if it was, I bet it was better than this one. Not that this one is wholly bad, it's just a bit mediocre. It smells of Frankenberry cereal, which is fine by me, but the taste is just too artificial and a bit too sweet. -Mike & Ike Cherry Cola candies! Aw, man. These smell like cinnamon. They taste like a cinnamon or spiced cola. It's cool the cola flavor comes through, but no cherry seems present and a spiced cola is not appealing. Anyone else remember when Pepsi tried that exact thing one holiday season? Yeah, it was gross, and these unfortunately remind me very much of that. Mike & Ike also have a Root Beer Float candy out, but I didn't see those whilst oot and aboot. (Is that Canadian enough to trick Mia Kirshner, you think? Yet ANOTHER fine example of prime Canadian genes.) -But wait! What's this that just became a thing in my life mere minutes ago.I kid you not. I wrote the preceding paragraph yesterday, and today this makes its existence known. How coincidental... and saddening.  Pepsi Fire soda! Pepsi with cinnamon. Didn't they learn from the spiced cola fiasco? If this wasn't handed to me, I never would have bought it of my own accord. It smells like dank beer. It tastes like sheer awfulness. That is all that need be said. -Mike & Ike Buttered Popcorn candies! I know I've had a popcorn jelly bean before, but I can't remember my thoughts about it. These can't be much different though, can they? To start with, they certainly nailed the stale popcorn smell of a run down theater. That's not necessarily a bad smell, just a distinct one. There is a surprisingly decent and understated buttered popcorn to these. Unfortunately the gelatin aspect of the candy overpowers the whole thing, so ultimately once the initial flavor burst subsides, it's like chewing a mouthful of unflavored goop. Which, I suppose, is exactly what candies like these are before getting flavor added. I will say I like them, and eventually I finish up the box, but I do think an extra dose of flavoring pumped into the mix would take these up a notch.   Ruffles Mozzarella & Marinara potato chips! These smell just like a cheap,  frozen mozzarella stick. If that's good or bad depends on how you feel about cheap, frozen mozzarella sticks. I'm okay with them. I don't get a lot of cheese flavor from these, but there is a very noticeable marinara with Italian seasoning element, and it's not bad. But not great, either. It's... fine. Were the marinara flavoring not so noticeably powdery, these would be better. Not bad, overall. I'd try them again down the road once I'd forgotten I'd had them before. -Ketchup flavored Pringles! These smell like a ketchupp packet left open in the bottom of a mop bucket. I think the bucket part might be the can permeating out. What are you making these cans from, Pringles? The taste isn't all that bad, though. I'm reminded very much of a cold, limp french fry dipped in ketchup, but with the crunch of a chip. I thought these would be gross, but they're serviceable. I wouldn't eat too many at one time, but I'll graze on them in the coming week. -Chocolate Peanut Butter Twinkies! I almost passed on these, because they just LOOK boring. Do they come out a winner, though. Nope. Dry as desert toast and a nearly missing filling makes these a quick trick by Hostess to use up leftover batter and get your dollars. Don't give them any! -Lay's Crispy Taco chips! Lay's Everything Bagel chips! Lay's Fried Green Tomato chips! Shoot. I can't remember enough for a full run down. So here's the quickness... The bagel ones were my least favorite. The fried green tomato ones were my favorite, but I also liked the taco ones. However, I thought the variety should have been different. The taco should have been the 'kettle cooked' version leaving the bagel for the regular chip. -Let's not forget Lay's Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Popper chips! I had them. Again, specifics escape me, but I was left unimpressed. I didn't hate them, but would ignore them if I saw them again. -Dunkin' Donuts Mocha Oreos! I liked these. Just enough mocha flavor complementing the chocolate cookie for an enjoyable treat. Goes great with a glass of whatever milk or milk like substance is your fancy. -Tropicle Fruit Punch flavored pickle! Because... because sometimes life is sh*t and fruit punch flavored pickles in a jar are there to hold your hand as you take that last step off the bridge. However... I found these unassaulting. (Fake word number 86.) They were fine. Not delicious, but just "Oh. So that's what a pickle soaked in Kool-Aid tastes like. Okay. This is a thing, though?" Wouldn't buy them again, but if I were at your cook out and you put one on my plate I'd eat it. And then dial the suicide hotline for you. I believe that brings me to a conclusion. And a respite. It is now close to mid August. That means... Halloween sweets are soon to be upon us. As early as August 7th, 2017, I saw Pumpkin Spice Cheerios and Pumpkin Spice Quaker oatmeal on shelves. Now THAT'S early. And just a couple of days after that, I saw the pumpkin shaped Reese's cups. Time to cash in savings bonds and get ready for a spooky treat fest. Or a trip to Canada. What are they building? They have subscriptions to those magazines. They never wave when they go by... what are they building up there?

[vernicle]

<p>You need to see these adorable photos of gay dads with their kids.<br></p>

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Brian Rosenberg, who is HIV-favourable, invested most of his grownup daily life contemplating turning out to be a father was only out of the issue.

"At that place, it was all about how much time do we have with each other?" Rosenberg, a homosexual person, recalls speaking about with his companion, Ferd van Gameren.

But as procedure and results for other HIV-favourable people like him improved, the couple's way of thinking improved. "We started to feel like daily life experienced to be about far more than just the two of us."

Following a turbulent, emotional journey with an adoption that fell by way of at the last minute and attempts at surrogacy, Rosenberg and van Gameren eventually became fathers when they adopted a newborn baby boy named Levi.

"We went into a several shops like, 'We’re getting a baby. We’re obtaining it tomorrow. We have nothing at all. What do we want?'" he states.

They identified that quite much anything baby-associated was promoted toward moms. Most of the advice on the internet was, all over again, geared toward moms. There was hardly any aid out there for dads, enable by itself homosexual dads.

Sooner or later, the two bought a hold of the total parenting issue and made the decision they'd check out to make a difference. They started an on the internet neighborhood called, fittingly, Gays With Young children.

Gays With Young children shares tales, photographs, and aid for a vastly neglected but expanding viewers: homosexual dads.

All photographs by using Gays With Young children, utilised with authorization.

The photographs are totally lovely — varied, content, double-father households from all all-around the earth.

But you can find an essential mission guiding the "aww"-inducing pics.

Rosenberg states the mission is two-fold: a person, to aid homosexual adult men discover about how they can turn into dads (it is not often simple) and two, to see what daily life is like for other homosexual adult men at the time their desire arrives correct.

A ton of homosexual adult men in their 40s and 50s by no means would have imagined turning out to be a father or mother was achievable.

The superior news is, Rosenberg states, the young era is contemplating about youngsters far more and far more — a truth that keeps him determined just about every working day.

Though he wants to normalize homosexual parenthood, Rosenberg is really clear: "To me there was by no means a want to prove that it is Okay to be homosexual and turn into a father."

"Of course it is Okay," he states.

Knocking down important stereotypes is not a thing he problems himself with much.

He just wants persons — straight and homosexual alike — to know that two adult men who adore every single other coming with each other to elevate a little one is a beautiful issue.

And he is proper! I mean, have you seen the photographs so much?

The response has been massive: Gays With Young children has above fifty,000 followers on Instagram and brings in 1000's of letters, tales, and messages of aid just about every working day.

Rosenberg states his most loved letters are actually from moms of homosexual sons.

"They stated 'thank you' for the reason that we served clearly show them what their sons' lives could search like a person working day," he states.

He is also encouraged when he hears from homosexual adult men overseas, some of whom are not "authorized" to even be homosexual at all.

These could just search like adorable photographs to some of us, but for homosexual adult men in particular international locations, it is impossible to overestimate how hopeful they may possibly make them feel.

As for Rosenberg and van Gameren, they are now very pleased moms and dads to 3 magnificent small children. It is a desire come correct for the two of them.

A desire they pretty much failed to enable themselves believe in.

Photo courtesy of Manny Lopez and Tatiana Teo Photography by using Gays With Young children.

Sharing their tale, and the tales of other adult men like them, has turn into a correct labor of adore.

The effect Gays With Young children is getting goes much further than its selection of Instagram followers.

It is offering hope, pleasure, and evidence that nearly anything is achievable to a total new era of homosexual adult men.

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