#this is the exact kind of premise that would perfectly scare me

[apollowatchesmovies]

August 6th

Movie 54

Thir13en Ghosts

[witchyintention]

𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕔𝕣𝕒𝕗𝕥?

As of late many have found themselves taking steps into the wondrous world of witchcraft. However it is a lot more than just an aesthetic. It is a lifestyle that is both beautiful and dangerous when you don't know what you're doing. Witchy Intention is to help guide you in your craft and teach you through my experiences and research. Along with many other experienced witches through interviews.

When you hear someone say witchcraft you instantly jump to satanic or devil worship but truth be told it's not. Satan is a figure in Christianity and has absolutely nothing to do with witchcraft. So what is witchcraft you ask. Witchcraft is an earth based religion or practice, and has been practiced in almost all the societies and cultures across the world. Though each craft is different according to local beliefs and traditions.

According to scholars of witchcraft, it was a belief system whose origin predates the majority of well known religions. It dates back so far many do not know the exact date, but we have seen it in many cultures such as ancient Egyptians. It also has been evolving since then and its present form is quite different from what it was thousands of years ago. And different areas practiced it differently. Even today from person to person and Coven to Coven it is practice differently. To each their own. It's a unique experience in itself. 

In the ancient times, Witchcraft was known as ‘craft of the wise’ as the wise persons were those who followed the path of nature and were in tune with its forces, had the knowledge of herbs and medicines, gave wise counsel and were held in high esteem as Shamanic healers and leaders in the village and community. They understood that nature was superior to human beings and that human beings were simply one of the many parts of nature, both seen and unseen that combine to form one whole. As Chief Seattle said, “We do not own the earth; we are a part of it.” They understood that what we take from nature or use, we must return in kind to maintain the balance and equilibrium. The modern man has, however, forgotten this and has paid the price in the form of many ecological and environmental disasters.

Unfortunately for the past several hundred years the image of the witch has been associated with the evil, heathenism and unrighteousness due to prejudices created by the Christian church. Somewhere along the line Christians accused the Pagan Horned god as the devil because these pagans didn't believe in the same god as them. So what does some Christian of high power do? Calls it devil worship. Despite the fact the bible never tells us what Lucifer looks like upon going to hell. 

However, as of late people have started understanding and practicing witchcraft as the true religion of God and Nature. There is renewed interest in witchcraft and witches profess to believe and practice the craft with a sense of pride and confidence. The believers in the New Age movement have understood witchcraft in its true perspective.

Modern witchcraft attracts believers from all walks of life and positions in society all over the world. They come together to understand the life, nature, evolution and mysteries of the universe through witchcraft. Witchcraft is the most democratic religion and practices in the world. There is no rigid dogma and no hard-line regime except for a simple premise that we should not do evil and if we do, know it will come back in multiple. Though not all witches bide by this but many of us do. Secondly, we should not misuse the generosity of nature by disturbing its balance. This is certainly something we all bide by. 

There are many forms of witchcraft like I had said earlier it differs from person to person. I will have a separate episode going into the top most popular kinds of witches but for now let's just explain a few things. A lot of other belief systems have set rules of what is good and what is bad, think the ten commandments, or Orthodox Jews are not allowed to use anything mechanical on the Sabbath, or Muslims are only allowed to eat certain parts of the animal. Witchcraft isn't like that. It's more about the big picture and how our actions contribute to that big picture. 

I would also like to clarify that being a witch doesn't mean your Wiccan or even pagan. You can very much still be Christian and practice the craft. Remember I said witchcraft was all about the mother earth along with whatever god or gods you worship. This includes the Christian god. I personally know a few Christian witches.

 However note that if you are a Christian witch you will be working with only that god. If you plan to work with other gods perhaps you need to rethink your religion's standpoint. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me" is one of the Ten Commandments found in the Hebrew Bible at Exodus 20:2 and Deuteronomy 5:6. With that said the craft is something unique and interesting but be careful because it is real and it can be dangerous. 

When new witches find themselves wanting to get into the craft but they really have no idea where to start. Try the history. There is a lot more history than I could even hope to cover in a single session. This is nothing more than an introduction to it. When you are learning about its history you will find many different kinds of practices. 

Though it's perfectly fine to be drawn to a practice and wanting to do it. Make sure you first do research on whether the practice is a closed or open practice. Closed practices are closed for a reason and most times you have to have approval to practice it and be sworn in. So if you find yourself wanting to do a closed practice make sure you do the research on how you can do it and do go through the proper procedures. 

Some might not let you in at all. For example Voodoo. Voodoo is one of the ones you work with your ancestors, an African folk magic. Those gods (spiritual beings? I really don't know.) are not going to be very accepting of one who is of European descent because your ancestors did their ancestors wrong. 

If you are considering the craft, know this, you will spend your whole life learning about the craft. Even the most seasoned of witches are constantly learning. The craft in a sense is like a hypothesis. You will constantly be learning, writing down your findings, doing this and that, to see if it works and figuring things out as you go. But before you even think about getting a head of yourself you need to do lots of research. Don't think 'oh I read a book I can now do a spell'. Witches read a lot. Even if we have already read something on a topic we will keep on. Cross reference everything you read. There is plenty of false information. Especially on the internet, but there are some good sources too.

You need tons of training and maybe even guidance from established witches before you cast your first spell. However we know full well that you learn by doing. So go for it but start with small simple spells. Note that writing a spell or doing a spell does not require a coven, animal bones, and full moon, as fun as nights involving these can be. In fact many witches don't have covens and many do not use animal bones. 

Sometimes it’s not about forming the biggest circle under a full moon, but just having a good time with other witches. Or even yourself if you prefer to do Magic solo. It's fine and very much acceptable. But coven or not it's always fun to do with friends. Nothing's like dancing around a bonfire with your best friends.

Practicing can get expensive. I mean you're going to spend a lot of money on books. Though the internet had everything you could possibly need, nothing beats a good book on witchcraft. I mean who doesn't want a bookshelf full of witchcraft research. Then the actual items you'll need will cost you. Even if it's not aesthetically pleasing. People tend to go a cheaper route using things for the dollar store or reusing sauce jars. Which is good but you will still spend a pretty penny because you'll constantly be getting new ones. Jars break, candles melt, herbs are all used up and crystals can and will break. And no your practice might not always be aesthetically pleasing or photo worthy at all time. Truth be told it can be a bit messy, kinda like arts and crafts. Then again witchcraft is both an art and a craft so it makes sense.

Not all witches are female. Whether you are male, nonbinary, trans, genderless, or anything in between, you can be a witch. It's true that there is a beautiful history of women and witchcraft but magick is genderless. Magik does not care about your gender, sexuality, or religious beliefs. Magik is also not good nor evil, it all depends on how the protactioner is using it.

Popular belief also tells that you have to be born into a witch family or your ancestors have to be a witch for you to be one. That's not true. I have said it once and I have said it twice. Anyone can be a witch. 

Hexes, they are real. Sorry if this scares you, but hexes, cast to inflict misfortune on others, are indeed real. Some witches but not all believe Magic used with ill intent will come back three times on the caster. Some call this The Rule of Three some call it karma. Either way just know it will come back to you some way or another, even if it's by a return to sender spell.

One of the mean teachings of witchcraft by most forms is what you put into the universe is what you get out of it. If you put positivity into the world you'll get positivity back. The same could be said about negativity. But then someone will say 'Oh I have been putting positivity in the world and nothings happening.' If that's the case the negativity you've been put into the world prior to it is still trying to catch up to you. So keep up the positivity even if it's hard.

You don't have to wear all black. There isn’t a standard dress code for witches, and while it’s absolutely acceptable to wear black from head to toe, there are just as many witches who prefer a sundress and sandals as there are who like black fishnets and velvet.

Black cats are not needed either. Though there is nothing wrong with having a black cat and being a witch. Both have been misunderstood for their supposed evil intentions and connections to dark magic for centries.

Remember real magic isn't some Harry Potter mumbo jumbo either. Though let's face it, we can all still pretend that's what it's like. I do. I know the difference between real magic and what the church and Entertainment make it out to be. But I still enjoy the fiction as much as the real. But we do use wands. Though not all of us do and if anything it's to help control where our magic goes to say.

Black, Grey, White, Evil or Good Magic are terms I personally do not use. Some people use these terms, but they probably shouldn't. To start, they have racist undertones. Rituals that are mistakenly believed to be bad are labeled black magic often come from traditions such as Hoodoo, which is traditional African folk magic, that is also a closed practice. Another thing I have said before is that Magic and Witchcraft alike are not good or bad, it's all on how the protationer uses it. I personally tend to stay away from these labels simply because I do not like the negative feeling given and the story behind them. But that is just me, I would hope many follow in those footsteps but not all are going to. I fully understand that.

✩ Don't Steal Other Peoples Work ✩

Written:

May 24, 2020

By:

Reine Alicis

[crystalkleure]

Haha hey remember that post I made awhile back, speculating on what a bad idea it might be to fuse dead things in the godless Frankenstein fossil machine

Meet White. He is a reanimated corpse. Two of them, actually. Or more like 1.5. [And I whipped up this half-assed partial reference sheet in one night instead of sleeping, so don’t look too hard at the chickenscratch lineart and visible guidelines, and kindly ignore the total lack of shading as well as any other messy jankiness.]

White is a product of me wondering not only about what happens if you NecroFuse a human with a Pokemon, but also what happens if you make it even worse and specifically fuse that human with a Pokemon capable of mega evolution. Because canon seems to imply that mega evolving is at best deeply uncomfortable -- and at worst outright agonizing -- for whatever creature is going through it.

Character Lore under the cut. Lots of text:

White is one of actually multiple undead guys who got mashed together with bits of dead Pokemon. They’re science experiments, so they've got the dex numbers of the Pokemon they're spliced with tattooed on the backs of their necks, and those numbers were treated as their names In The Evil Science Lab.

In his Original Life, White [and some of his buddies] got gored to death by some escaped Horrible Fucking Monsters that were accidentally [...and then not-so-accidentally] created via Two Pokemon At Once In A Fossil Resurrection Machine, because hey, it is SUPER easy to think you got Just One Thing's Bones from an excavation dig but then later you realize that Some Of Those Bones were from something TOTALLY different that just died in the same place. It happens. So, some Fossil Scientist People accidentally resurrected an Abomination, realized they fucked up pretty fast...and then started wondering if they REALLY fucked up or if this is Cool, Actually. And then the team of Science People split into two Morality Factions, with one half being like “This is unethical as shit, we need to make sure this doesn't happen again because it's not natural so who knows how this poor fucked up creature is suffering” and the other, cooler half being like “WE NEED TO DO THIS AGAIN RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SCIENCE. IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES HOLY SHIT.”

Cooler group splits off from the Horrified Group With Morals, and they promptly use their Science Knowledge to Construct More Machines and Make More Monsters. Doesn't take too long for them to realize, however, that Abomination Pokemon are stupidly hard to control, because not only are they suffering, their masters obviously don't care for their wellbeing, so Revolt Inevitably Occurs and they escape to wreak havoc upon the nearest congregation of townspeople. They promptly maul some people to death at a nearby local rock concert, scientists chase after them to clean up the mess, realize “Oh Shit, Manslaughter Charges Impending”, and then realize...

Science Guy 1: “...Hey, what happens if you put a dead person in the fossil machine?”

Science Guy 2: “Hey, people probably listen better than Pokemon. We can, like, TALK to people.”

Science Guy 3: “Lads, I got a stellar idea just now. And we got plenty of Dead Guys to start with right here! Great way to hide the bodies too, probably.”

This goes approximately as well as you would expect, and precisely as ethically. A smashing success!

However, because they Fucking Died, the reanimated Newly-Monsterized dudes do not remember shit about who they were pre-resurrection. They're not technically even the same people, they’re more like clones. They've been remade. So, all they know now is Science Lab Life, and they have no initial attachment to eachother aside from "that other guy is also a Science Experiment Person just like me, so Same Hat @ Labrat Neighbour ig", in spite of several having been friends or even family prior to death. They also just...don’t know/remember things in general. They are fresh blank slates. And to a morally-bankrupt team of scientists, that’s perfect! They can train these guys to behave however they please!

...However, people might be People Instead Of Animals, meaning they can be Reasoned With And Manipulated And Coerced far better than animals due to their far better communication abilities with the Science People, but...there is Still A Problem in the sense that Holy Shit, A Person Can Only Take So Much. You can only treat someone as "Experiment [number]" for so long, blatantly putting no value on their life outside of The Value Of Scientific Research, in spite of literally basically needing to raise them like a normal child due to the Lack Of Memories issue. Eventually they're not gonna be able to take that anymore and they are gonna Fucking Leave, too. And they’re gonna be much harder to track down than the rampaging Pokemon were. Impossible, actually, once they’ve ripped out their tracking chips.

So then there's just these monster dudes, who don't actually know what they are because they weren't ever told anything more than necessary to get them to cooperate with Tests And Experiments, just Escaped Into Civilization and having NO idea how Anything works. Fun! Especially considering how, at first glance, these just look like Normal Dudes. Their monster bits either aren't apparent or just look like funky body modifications.

They've also got Science Things in them and they Don't Know What The Fuck Those Things Even Are. They've just got these little Devices in/on their chests, and they were never informed of the exact functions of them because there's no reason to explain to the experiment What Is Happening, just that the experiment needs to Hold Still and Cooperate and Now Do This, Now Do This, Now Do That, Good Job That's Enough For Today, etc.

Those devices contain both key stones and mega stones.

If you were a Mad Pokemon Scientist, you would most certainly be interested in the mega evolution phenomenon. What would YOU do if some of your Undead Fusion Experiments happened to be spliced with bits of Pokemon known to be capable of mega evolving? You’d kill two birds with one enigmatic set of stones, that’s what you’d do. Your Frankenstein Experiments can even TALK to you and tell you exactly what they are experiencing when you run tests on them! It’s perfect!

So, if a rock-bearing monster’s heart rate goes too high, part of the little device, which is a barrier between one type of rock and the other, opens up and Exposes One Rock To The Other Rock. Which exposes the monster to the Rock Energy Reaction. The greater the stress, the higher the dose. And I’m sure you can see the snowball effect that’s gonna create, at least the first time or two.

They were INTENDED to eventually be made to Physically Fight With Eachother to gauge the effects of The Rocks™️ when the Guys With The Rocks are under Stress and need to Do Some Self-Defense. The Science Squad was basically trying to suss out the Actual Purpose of mega evolution. Because mega evolution is weird -- it puts ENORMOUS stress on the body of whatever is undergoing it, so the hypothesis was that its true power is probably drawn out best via a perceived life-threatening situation, like it’s a type of hysterical strength, because what else would cause a need for that kind of ability. And aren’t ethics a bit overrated?

So, there’s our premise. White is just wandering around without any particular purpose outside of never ever going back to Science Hell, and he has no clue what the funny little doohickey buried in his chest does until it activates one day and absolutely fucks him up [...as well as everyone around him. Mega Absol radiate an Aura Of Sheer Terror that can literally scare people with weak hearts to death if they’re not careful.]

And now, some Miscellaneous Character Info:

The bit about Lots Of Death happening at a rock concert specifically was important. White was actually the vocalist of the band that was playing. He doesn’t remember that now, but he still loves music and has the same strong vocal cords. And THAT is important because White is partially an Absol now and Absol naturally learns Perish Song. These Fusion Monsters are absolutely capable of using Pokemon moves, though whether they’re aware of this is a different matter entirely. Imagine what happens when they end up tapping into those abilities accidentally.

That band was a relatively-unknown little local band. White was by no means anywhere near famous. Very few people even realized he was gone, and most of the ones who would have noticed also ended up Equally Unalive.

That black stuff between the belts on White’s arms is mesh. Like, stocking mesh. It gets Ripped The Fuck Apart when he goes Mega Mode and his arm fur gets Extra Spiky. Hence one stocking being a bit tattered in that reference pic. He frequently has to replace those things, they are fragile.

“How did White get his name if he doesn’t remember his original name and didn’t have a real name in the lab” I am glad you asked! Post-escape, he eventually encountered a situation where someone asked him what his name was, he bluntly told them “I don’t have one. I am #359.”, they said “Well That Is Not A Name, I need something proper to call you”, and he was just...Super Apathetic. So, the other person picked out the name “White” just based on the fact that White’s hair is white, and he just shrugged and rolled with it.

As you can see in my Incredibly Quick And Rough Sketches, the backs of White’s shirts are open to accommodate that huge amount of fur that bristles out into false wings when he goes Mega Mode. Because his Actual Normal Hair is relatively long and overlaps with that fur, it blends in with his Actual Normal Hair and doesn’t look too odd [when it’s down]. Probably mostly because nobody’s expecting it to be anything OTHER than Perfectly Normal Hair That Just Happens To Be Very Long.

White does not particularly like violence. White does not want to beat you up. He will, though, without a bit of hesitation, if there’s some logical reason he feels like it’s the most practical course of action. Being essentially raised by Cold, Emotionally-Sterile Scientists With No Care For The Wellbeing Other Living Beings uh, tends to affect a guy a little bit. White has a bit of an internal dilemma regarding “It would be efficient for me to just Harm This Other Person to defuse the current situation, because attempting nonviolence will be overall more risky somehow” vs. “Holy shit it feels bad when I hurt people. Why does it feel bad when I hurt people. Is it...SUPPOSED to feel bad when I hurt people?? No one ever felt bad for hurting me.” He Figures Out How Empathy Works Eventually. He is a good guy at heart. He is a Monotone Snarker, but not actually Cold or Malicious at all.

If an Absol can do it, White can probably do it. He has incredibly keen senses and a STRONG ability to Detect Impending Doom. He has exactly the amount of Supernatural Absol Powers you would expect. He is also stupidly physically strong, way more so than he appears to be.

White can’t punch people. Look at the fist he’s making in the pic, he’s doing it wrong. If you punch someone like that, you WILL break your own thumb. That’s not a Revving Up To Sock Someone pose, he’s just tense. He’s using his thumb as a buffer between his long-ass Sharp As Fuck claws and the flesh of his palm. If White tries to punch anybody, or just makes a proper fist at all, he will impale his own hand on his nails. Like, all the way through. He CAN slash straight through things like metal and bone with those claws, though.

White...is unsettling. Completely accidentally, and unknowingly. He just radiates an Aura Of Intimidation [...or Pressure], even when not in Mega Mode, that scales depending on his mood. Just being near him tends to put people and Pokemon on edge. Thus, he’s generally avoided.

The latter point is especially unfortunate, because White’s preferred method of Socializing and Bonding is to just kind of quietly hang out in the same room as whoever he is trying to Socialize and Bond with. He just wants to, like...chill out Near A Buddy and watch a movie and share a bag of chips or something. His social skills are predictably not good.

[wild-aloof-rebel]

Some Favorite Fics from 2019

Before I dive into my list, let me send out some love to ALL of the authors who have contributed fic to this fandom this year. There are well over 300 people who wrote Schitt’s Creek fic this year, and you’ve brought joy to so many people and should be super proud of what you’ve written, whether it was only 100 words or 100k. I’ve personally read more than 6.5 million words of fic in this fandom this year, and I want to thank you all for every single one of them. <3

Now, in continuing this year-end love fest we’ve had going on the last few days, I also want to highlight some of my favorite fics from this year. I decided to cut myself off at twenty fics or we’d end up with a list too big to be allowed, lol. I also decided to limit myself to one fic per author in order to spread the love around as much as possible; there would definitely be some repeat authors on this list otherwise. 

And now with all that in mind, I’ll shut up and get on with it. 

Here are twenty of my favorite fics from this year and what I love about them...

this roof is a blanket by withkissesfour • rated M • 3k+ I love Patrick-centric fics. He’s such a beautiful character, but because he isn’t one of the four Roses, we miss out on a lot of his pov in the show, so I’m always here for fics that try to capture that. And this one does it beautifully, focusing on four different but thematically-connected moments in Patrick’s life.

We’re Getting Something for Free by MoreHuman • rated G • 1k+ This is one of those fics where you can see how much Patrick KNOWS David and loves him for exactly who he is. His refusal to let David villainize himself for just being who he is makes my heart so very happy.

Heart of Gold by barelypink • rated M • 40k+ I love love LOVE a good AU, but AUs based on other media can be really tricky to get right. The best ones take elements from both sources and elevate them into something fresh and new, and this fic does exactly that.

now you see me by grapehyasynth • rated T • 4k+ Did I mention that I love AUs? I never get tired of seeing them meet in new ways, and their New York-set blind date in this one just makes me smile a whole hell of a lot.

I’m All Lost (in the supermarket) by sullymygoodname • rated G • 9k+ This fic combines David “Good Person” Rose, headless mannequins, tiny cardboard houses, karaoke, ugly sweaters, and all the friendship and shenanigans you can possibly stand. What’s not to love?

I know, I’m strange, too much light makes me nervous by another_Hero • rated T • 4k+ I’m so in love with the entire premise for this soulmate AU and everything that it says about love and the choices that we make because of it.

Pizza Night by smoulderandbraids • rated M • 4k+ Sometimes you just need to read about them making pizza and making out. Thank goodness this fic exists for those times. It’s a straightforward concept executed perfectly.

cinnamon sugar... by startswithhope • rated T • 1k+ All of startswithhope’s fics have a lovely softness to them that almost seems nostalgic, like you can feel yourself missing them before you’re even done reading them. This one I think captures that feeling best and most explicitly--David’s mood here is exactly that kind of nostalgia. And his thoughts about Stevie near the beginning are something that I’ve found myself thinking about over and over again since I first read this.

On My Way by Distractivate • rated M • 11k+ As much as I love the happy place that is this show, I also really love fic that acknowledges that sometimes relationships are hard, that things aren’t always perfect, that love is a CHOICE which has to be actively made again and again and again. This fic showcases exactly that. Love isn’t always easy, but choosing to love each other anyway is always worth it.

around us by lamphouse • rated G • 1k+ This one is a simple idea, written with a soft touch, and every time I re-read it, I’m crying by the time David says “I want to stand still.”

of all the riches. by falconeggs • rated T • 9k+ Who doesn’t love a good celebrity AU? This one is as cute as you could possibly want it to be, from their first meeting to taking their relationship public. It’s just a little slice of joy.

Overreacting by codswallop • rated M • 17k+ Fics dealing with hospital visits and illnesses and things of that sort can easily tip over into whumpy territory (which is totally fine if that’s what you’re looking for), but this fic goes a different direction and manages to be funny and sweet and charming while balancing the anxiety of waiting for news. David and Patrick’s dynamic here is so good; they’re both sharp and funny and vulnerable and messy in turn, joking like normal when they can, lifting each other up when they can’t.

101 by Hth • rated E • 8k+ Like I said, I love fics that acknowledge that things aren’t always perfect, and there’s nothing more rife for imperfection than a first night spent together. Their night at Stevie’s is the perfect setting for starting to navigate some difficult conversations, especially in the wake of Jake’s unexpected appearance, and this fic does a great job of getting them through the nerves and the talking and the the stops and starts of that night. And their last two lines of dialogue are perfection.

The Sidelines by wildhoneypie • rated T • 5k+ Comedy is so much harder to write than you might expect, and I am constantly awed by how well this fic does it. It feels effortless and in-character and in line with the kind of humor that beats at the heart of the show, all while still capturing that instant, playful attraction between David and Patrick. It’s just such a fun read.

holy sick divine by earlylight • rated T • 36k+ If the tags “Strangers who Met in a Field to Coworkers to Friends to Lovers” and “Paperwork - But Make It Sexy” don’t endear you to this fic before you even start it, I don’t know what to tell you. My favorite part of this story is actually the role reversal of Patrick being Stevie’s best friend, Patrick having dated Jake, etc. That’s just one way that this fic takes everything we know and turns it on its head, and it does it with good humor and such a strange sweetness. It’s utterly unique, and the final scene just burrows down into your heart and sets up house there.

A Fair Return by thingswithwings • rated E • 237k+ This is probably the most insanely well-crafted canon retelling I’ve seen in my life. It adds so much backstory to the show and makes you rethink scenes you know intimately, which is what any good canon retelling should do. The OCs and the ways they’re carved into the structure of the story we know are where this fic particularly shines; it’s so, so well done.

my heart was broke, my head was sore by blueink3• rated M • 31k+ I think the only thing better than fake dating might be the exact reverse: having to pretend you’re not dating when you are. Even though they’re technically together, there’s just so much opportunity for pining and angst (both of which blueink3 always does SO fucking well), and this fic takes that to another level by adding in the fragile newness of their relationship and the anxiety of a family medical scare. David is so, so careful with Patrick here, and I love every single word of it.

let’s go dancing in the light by goingmywaydoll • rated G • 2k+ It was so difficult to narrow this down to one fic by goingmywaydoll because I absolutely love everything she does, but ultimately I went with her first one for this fandom. I’m SUCH a sucker for David and Patrick seeing each other before the wedding, and David having anxiety about not having anxiety is pretty much the most David thing possible. The characterization, the dialogue, the whole entire mood of the fic--it’s all absolutely spot-on. This one is everything I could ever want from wedding fic.

for feelings unbound by wardo_wedidit • rated E • 20k+ Picking one single fic by wardo_wedidit was also a near-impossible task, but ultimately I had to go with this one because it’s honestly perfect. David’s empath abilities add SO much to his characterization and the trajectory of his relationship with Patrick, and it fills this fic with so many gorgeous moments that leave you feeling like maybe there really is magic in the world--and this fic has plenty of it.

Watching Through Windows by helvetica_upstart • rated E • 38k+ Every single moment of this fic is heartbreaking in the best possible way. Reading it is like cracking yourself open and then putting yourself back together a little stronger. Watching David learn about the man he’d grown into and have to decide if he wants to (or even can) become that man all over again is simultaneously gut-wrenching and soul-healing. And Patrick in this fic--god, what can I even say about him? He’s so understanding and GOOD, even when he’s terrified and heartbroken. He is absolutely everything. Everything. This story is 100% perfection from start to finish, and the bench scene in particular is hands down the best scene in any fic I’ve read this year.

[bylanternlight]

the rules of engagement

premise: you and yoongi are the unconventional type | fluff, slice of life, lowkey actual crack | second person pov | 3.3k words

pairing: domestic!yoongi x fem!reader 

warnings: some adult language, alcohol, too many mentions of a pintrest board, and making eggs

preface: the sequel to my short drabble, a casual proposal, but could be read alone! (the read more link probably won’t work on mobile, apologies)

“WHAT! WAIT! Why didn’t you tell me you were going to propose?” Hoseok shrieked. He dropped his spoon back into his bowl with a loud clunk. The noise was deftly drowned out by the incessant chatter of their fellow restaurant patrons along with the hustle and bustle of the staff, near tripping over themselves in the midst of lunch hour. 

Despite that, Yoongi was still quick to shush him. “It’s not like I was planning anything, I just asked.”

Unfortunately, his friend looked even more taken aback by his attempted explanation. “You didn’t pick out a ring? Or get down on one knee? Or take her somewhere romantic? What kind of proposal is that?”

“An effective one? She did say yes.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes. “I suppose.” He picked his spoon back up, resuming his meal, albeit with less interest in his food than before. “So, Min Yoongi getting married, huh? The whole ‘white dress, I do, sign your name’ married?”

“I don’t know what other kind of marriage there is, Hobi.” Yoongi quipped, chuckling. “But yes, actually married. Although the white dress isn’t decided yet.”

“What kind of wedding doesn’t involve a white dress? That’s like, basic wedding rule #1.”

“Says who?”

“Um, says everyone? Look, weddings are the way they are for a reason, man. The white dress is iconic. A staple. A classic. People have been doing it forever and everyone loves it.” 

“Okay, okay, I got it.” Yoongi shoved a spoonful of beef into his mouth. “Since when are you the wedding dress expert?” he asked. 

“Sooyoung and I discuss it quite a bit. We have a wedding Pintrest board.” 

A Pintrest board? Yoongi raised his eyebrows. He was going to ask you about that later. “Look, I know you and Sooyoung are the cutest, most gushy couple of the century, but not everyone is into that.”

“. . . So you’re saying you won’t have anything cutesy or gushy?”

Yoongi sighed, dejected. “Hoseok, no, I’m saying that we just got engaged yesterday and Y/N and I haven’t even decided on anything yet. I’ll let you know about any developments. Promise.”

Hobi regarded him with a suspicious glance. “If you say so,” he conceded. “At least let me throw you a bachelor party.” 

Of course, Yoongi thought. Jung Hoseok was never one to miss a party opportunity, especially when he got to adopt the role of the host. 

Yoongi laughed. Hobi was a pain in the ass, but he was a loyal pain in the ass, and he always meant well. “Alright,” Yoongi answered. “If you insist.”

---

From the kitchen, you hear the front door open and shut, followed by the thud of Yoongi kicking his shoes off. Without looking up, you call out to him, “Welcome home, hun.”

“Hey, sweets,” he responds, walking into the kitchen. “Whatca making?”

“An omelet. Trying to get rid of these eggs before they go bad. Hey, can you grab me one of those big bowls?”

Yoongi heads to the dishware cabinet and hands you a blue bowl from the top of its respective stack. “Hey, does Sooyoung have a wedding Pintrest board?”

“Um, yeah? Why do you ask?” you inquire, cracking eggs into the bowl. 

“I was talking to Hobi earlier today, and he said that he and Sooyoung have a Pintrest board dedicated to weddings.”

“Hobi is in on it, too? I didn’t know it was a joint effort.” You shrug, grinning at your fiance. “I assume you told him about the engagement, then.”

Yoongi groans, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Yes, I did, and he gave me a hard time about how I proposed. And our hypothetical wedding plans.”

You can imagine all to well Hoseok’s excitement, followed by his bewilderment at Yoongi’s nonchalance at the whole situation. As such polar opposites, their friendship is sometimes damn near comical. 

“Well, you’re not alone in that,” you tell him as you whip the eggs with a fork. “I called Soo and told her earlier, too. Talked my ear off about all her ideas for our big day -- can you pass me the salt and pepper?”

“Here, what else do you need me to do?” He grabs both condiments before coming around to your side of the counter, setting them beside you.

“Can you butter the pan and get the onions, please? Thanks. Anyway,” you continue as he gets to work, “when I told her that I didn’t know if I was wearing white or not, she yelled at me and told me I was insane. I believe her exact words were ‘then there’s no point in having a ceremony and you might as well just go to the courthouse this afternoon.’“

“Speaking of, maybe we should,” Yoongi says, in the middle of chopping an onion. “With the verbal harassment Hoseok leveled at me today, I would like to avoid Jin’s unavoidable scrutiny. He’ll tell us we’re doing everything wrong at every step.”

“Sounds like him, alright.” You laugh along with him, reaching to turn the stove on. “In all seriousness, we could, but would you really prefer it?”

Yoongi, ever melodramatic, exhales a prolonged breath. “No.”

“Exactly. So, I told her to hop off my dick and let me plan my own wedding in peace, and she agreed as long as she got to be my maid of honor and plan my bridal shower.”

“Hoseok also wants to throw me a bachelor party. I swear, they’ve morphed into some sort of extra hyper-enthusiastic power duo. Their energies just bounce off of each other and multiply.”

“We did too good of a job setting them up. We should never have done it.”

“Definitely.” Yoongi, finished chopping, dumps the diced onion into the whipped, seasoned eggs. “What do you do at a bridal shower anyway?”

“From my understanding, we have brunch, get day drunk on wine and then I get gifts, so I wasn’t exactly objecting. It was either that or a bachelorette party, and you know Soo would’ve done some off the wall bullshit, so a bridal shower seemed better for me.” You pour the eggs into the pan and grab your spatula. “They’re really making it seem harder than it needs to be. I mean, I thought we could chill out, maybe make some phone calls, send some emails, do some online shopping.”

“You make it sound so boring.” You look up from the pan, glaring at him, and he immediately backtracks with, “But I get what you mean, of course.”

Gratified, you turn back to your cooking with a smile. “I was thinking Namjoon could be the one to marry us. He’s a minister, right?”

“Indeed he is. Leave it up to Joon to be the local Universal Life Church certified ordained minister. He’d be thrilled to do it. Maybe Hana could be the flower girl? She would have a field day with that.” 

Would she ever. Cute Kim Hana, being Namjoon and Seokin’s only child and the center of their world, was infamous for her love of attention. Though you loved her, she was a little bit, for lack of a better word, spoiled; but you couldn’t really blame her. Her dads just didn’t know how to refuse anything to her chubby cheeks and doe eyes.

“Perhaps the other darling toddler Jeon Jeongguk could be the ring-bearer?”

At that, Yoongi snorts. “If he were here right now and he heard you say that, he would kick you.”

“I’d like to see the kid try. He knows better,” you say. “We don’t need a ring-bearer anyway. How about venue? Since city hall is off the table.” You turn off the flame. With the omelet finished, you flip it onto a large plate and slide it over to Yoongi. He takes the plate and places it on the dining table.

“We have a pretty nice backyard,” he teases, grabbing two bowls from the cabinet and filling them with rice. Sure, it’s a joke, except you think it’s sort of brilliant.

“Our backyard!” You take a seat at the table. “Yoongs, that perfect.”

He sits down next to you, furrowing his eyebrows. “I was . . . joking,” he says, sounding genuinely concerned. “You know that, right?”

Your eyes roll heavenward. “Yes, I know that,” you affirm, smacking him on the arm. “But think about it. We have a perfectly nice, big backyard with lots of plants and greenery and a big ole tree -- ”

“Courtesy of your illustrious writing career and my talent for music,” he interjects.

You wave away his comment. “Yes, exactly, and we can get some nice chairs and make a trellis out of wood or something and we have a wedding ceremony setup in no time. With minimal cost and no middle man. And everyone loves our house, we just have to clean up and decorate a little.”

Yoongi is silent for a moment, processing your new plan. “You scare me sometimes,” he eventually starts, “but you make a good case. Backyard wedding it is. Now, I’m starving, so let’s eat.” He places one of the two rice bowls in front of you. “Happy eating, darling.”

Ridiculous. You flash him a grin. “Happy eating to you, too, idiot.”

---

You come home to a mess in the living room. Confetti and streamers cover the floor, empty beer bottles are littered throughout the room, and a half-eaten cake sits abandoned on the coffee table. 

You knew Yoongi and the boys were having their bachelor party tonight, but you hadn’t asked for details. Maybe you should have. 

As if on cue, the front door opens to reveal seven men in various levels of intoxication walking into your home. You see Yoongi, looking 75% asleep, slung over Namjoon in the back, a sash with the words “BRIDE TO BE” in cursive wrapped around his body. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Jin -- seemingly the most sober of them, perhaps besides Joon -- greets, half-carrying Jimin onto the couch. “Sorry for the mess. We sorta pregame-d before heading out.”

“Oh, no problem,” you tell him, laughing. “As long as you guys had fun. Who drove?”

“Yoongi’s brother. He’s on his way home right now.” After placing Jimin on the couch, he hands you Yoongi’s house key. “Yoongi gave this to me earlier. Said I would need it. Hey, do you mind if we all crash here tonight? We wanted to come back and clean up, but it’s a little late.” 

More like they’re all a little too incapacitated, but you don’t tell him that. “Yeah, sure, you guys can sleep in any of the extra rooms.”

“Thanks, you’re awesome.” Jin leads a giggling Taehyung and a confused-looking Jeongguk upstairs, leaving Jimin asleep on the couch. 

You turn to Hoseok, who has carried the cake to the kitchen and busied himself with shoving forkfuls of it into his mouth. “Hobi?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you guys have work tomorrow?”

“I think so.”

“Do you think any of you can make it?”

He shrugs. “It’s whatever, though,” he assures you through his mouthful of cake. “It’s not like Bang PD can fire us.”

You suppose that’s true. “Well, are you cool with staying the night?”

He gives you a thumbs up and returns to his cake. You make a mental note to text Sooyoung about her boyfriend’s whereabouts. 

Namjoon walks over to you, practically dragging Yoongi next to him. “He had that much, huh?” you ask him.

“You don’t want to know how much.” 

“Can you help me get him upstairs?” 

Despite sleepy-drunk Yoongi practically being a dead weight, with you and Namjoon’s combined strength, you manage to get him into bed. You debate changing his clothes for him, but decide not to disturb him any further. You’ll just have to change the bedding tomorrow.

“Thanks, Joon. Now get back to your husband.” Namjoon whispers a quick goodnight as he leaves your room, shutting the door behind him. 

Leaving him in bed, you change into your pajamas and head into the bathroom. After brushing your teeth, you hear Yoongi groan and mumble something incoherent. 

“Hey, dummy.” You kneel next to his side of the bed. 

He squints at you for a moment in his drunken haze, before realizing who you are and grinning a goofy grin. “Hey, wife.”

“Not wife yet, remember? Wedding’s next week.”

“Yeah, but might as well be,” he drawls. “Where were you today?”

“I was at Soo’s. We were doing wedding stuff.”

He hums a contemplative hm, as if he were learning something completely new. “You know I love you, right?”

You smile. In addition to being a sleepy drunk, he was also an emotional drunk. “I know. I love you, too.”

“I promise I’ll be a great husband. The best. Just for you.” He points a finger towards you, almost jabbing you in the eye. You catch his hand before it gets there.

“Careful,” you warn him, giggling.

“Oops, sorry.” He chuckles to himself and winds his fingers through yours. “And you’ll be the best wife. I feel it in my heart and my soul.”

God, even when he’s drunk, he’s the most charming bastard alive. 

You kiss your entwined hands, setting them down on his stomach. “Go to sleep, Yoongs.”

“Can you give me a kiss?”

“No, because you’re drunk and I just brushed my teeth, thank you very much.”

“Cruel,” he whines, turning on his side.

You stand up and round the bed to your side, climbing in under the covers. “You’re lucky I’m still sleeping in the same bed with you and your unshowered self after a whole night of bar-hopping.”

He flops back onto his back. “Fine,” he concedes, though he continues to pout. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Yoongi.” You turn off the lamp on your nightstand, blanketing the room in darkness. 

You fall asleep to the even cadence of Yoongi’s breathing.

---

“That was harder than I expected.”

“That’s what you get for not having any bridesmaids,” Sooyoung scolds, securing one last lock of hair to the back of your head with a bobby pin. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“You were the one who wanted to be my maid of honor,” you remind her.

“If I weren’t your maid of honor, in addition to having no bridesmaids, you wouldn’t even have me to help you.”

“As if you wouldn’t have helped regardless. You act like a heartless bitch, Soo, but you would never sit there and let me get ready on my own.”

She lets out a indignant hmmf, a sign that she knows you’re right but is too stubborn to admit it out loud. 

Reaching for a bottle of hairspray, she says, “Close your eyes real quick, I’m not in the business of blinding brides.”

You obey as she sprays your head liberally. “There. Now you look level 1000 hot when you used to look only level 100 hot.”

“Rude.” You chuckle at your best friend. “Really, though, thank you for everything, Sooyoung. You’re the best.”

In the mirror in front of you, you see her smile. “Don’t you forget it,” she says, hugging your back gently as to not disturb her handiwork. “I’m gonna go okay? Hoseok is waiting for me.” She pulls away a bit reluctantly. “I’m so happy for you, Y/N. Min Yoongi is a lucky guy, and you’re gonna have the best day. I just know it.” 

She really was the best. For all of her sarcasm, she was as dedicated a friend as they come. “Love you, Soo,” you call out to her as she heads out the door.

“Love you too, slut!” she shouts as she shuts your bedroom door behind her.  So much for that. 

You stand up and adjust your dress, a simple dark red number with a flowy, floor-length skirt and capped sleeves. While it wasn’t technically a wedding dress, you had tried it on and instantaneously decided that you were getting married in it. You also figured it would be more comfortable than a traditional wedding dress, anyway.

You turn in front of the mirror, carrying out one final sweep of your outfit. A knock at the door distracts you from adjusting the last of your jewelry.

You turn around to see Yoongi closing the bedroom door behind him. The heels of his dress shoes clink against the wood floor as he strides over to your figure in front of the vanity.

He stops short of reaching you, keeping enough distance between yourselves to look you up and down. You can't say you're not doing the same.

To put it simply, he's too good to be real. Not just the tux and the tie and the pocket square that makes him look like the death of you, but also the way he seems to exude happiness and nerves and wonder. He gazes at you as if you're his moon, his sun, his stars, and you couldn't possibly doubt its truth.

As long as he's with you, no worries could possibly matter. Looking at him now, you have never before believed so wholeheartedly that everything would be fine. 

You don't know how long you both stand there staring at each other, but you're the one to break the silence with a soft mumble of, “Well, hi there.”

A smile breaks his face and you completely disregard the condition of your accessories, practically leaping to wind your arms around his neck. You crane your head upwards, laughing at his smile that hasn't faltered one bit. His hands find purchase on the small of your back, pulling you in closer. “Well, hi to you too.”

"You know, it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before the wedding."

"Hmmm, for one, I’ve already seen the dress and two, you think I'm going to let some babble stop me from visiting my betrothed?”

"Hmmm, and you couldn't wait maybe twenty minutes?"

"Absolutely not. If I haven't already made it clear, you're sort of irresistible."

You shake your head at his antics, grinning. Ridiculous. “Fantastic doesn't come anywhere close to accurately describing how good you look right now.”

“Say that to yourself, darling.” He reaches down to brush a curled lock of hair behind your ear. “How are you feeling?”

“Disgustingly in love.”

He places a quick peck on your cheek at the answer. “Good to hear.”

“How are you feeling?”

Yoongi leans forward until his forhead is touching yours, inhaling a deep breath. “Happy, mostly. Of course. Nervous.”

A hint of a frown touches your lips. “Nervous about what?”

“I don't know. I just want to make sure everything goes smoothly. We really put in work for this and we’re only gonna do this once.”

“Well, I sure hope so.” At his unamused look, you counter, “Look, it doesn't matter if this wedding ends up happening in a dumpster fire. I'll love every second of it because I'll be there with you.”

A comfortable silence washes over the room as you stare at each other once again. After a moment, his head drops into the crook between your neck and shoulder. His breath brushes your skin as he laughs and whispers, “Biscuit, you can't possibly be real."

You giggle at the endearment, pulling away from him. You smooth your hands over the lapels of his tux, straightening them out. Your eyes flick to the clock on the wall behind his head, reading the time. “It's starting soon. You better get back out there before Jin beats your ass."

"Yes, ma'am. Wouldn't want to bruise this pretty face on our special day." Yoongi smiles, placing a quick kiss atop your head. Warmth, comfort, strength. "See you out there, Y/N," he says as he heads out the door.

After he’s left, you sigh into the empty room,”See you, too.” 

You chuckle to yourself. He's just so utterly, maddeningly him.

But then again, that's exactly what you love.

[stagmanparty]

So I finished watching MLP Season 8 and...

….it´s actually not bad.

Yeah, I´m the first to admit I have to eat my words and agree the show hasn´t really gone down as much as I thought after the movie. I still hate it but the show itself remains good. Yes, there are more than a few mediocre or outright horrible episodes there but the good ones more than compensate.

I do believe that Dubuc is kinda out of her element on ponies, which may explain her use for an entire new cast aside from hasbro´s orders. The friendship school thing is done better than I though tough I still think is kinda stupid at moments.

Overall the balance is...fine.

I was expecting worse but it was an okay season.

I do hate that they explicitly mention the events of the movie but they´re STILL refusing to acknowledge the Equestria Girls ones. Come on Mccarty, stop being embarrassed ot the BETTER story!

Below the cut is my personal opinions of each episode with a dose of sarcasm if u want to read them but for the season as a whole I´ll give a 7/10 it was regular to me.

701-702:  “Girls, I want you all to work on my new school!”

“We have lives, Twilight”

ROLL CREDITS

So this wasn´t bad. I though Twilight was gonna be more selfish but she actually makes some fair points and owns to her mistakes here. What´s funny is that she doesn't act this way the rest of the season…

I still think the students are kinda lame but I like how they interact with each other and the episode itself was well handled.

Still, Twilight isn't perfect either since she refuses to have zebras or buffaloes or talking cats on her school. Hell, there aren´t even crystal ponies so she´s almost as bad the racist snape guy.

Kinda standard but good episodes.

7/10

703: “So sis, when are you gonna leave?”

“The town?”

“The show…”

I said it once, I´ll said it again, Maud overstayed her welcome. She´s no longer funny and feels like a creator pet by now.

That said the episode itself is actually really good.

Confalone GETS pinkie and gives he an actual character and this was honestly better handled that with Twilight.

Hell for a second I thought Pinkie was gonna have to deal with her own since her meeting with the guy has all the elements of a meet cute scene =P

I could live without the stupid opening scene but it seems even Pinkie realized Maud was being offensive to her audience there…

A really fun Pinkie episode to add to the pile

8/10

804 “thank you for calling me, Rarity. I can surely help you with all my sewing knowledge”

“Oh for this episode I´ll need you to forget about all that, darling and be completely useless”

So yeah, this was a waste of time.

So the mane six can´t help Rarity with her store but have plenty of time to go yell at Fluttershy?

And if Rarity hates the ponies of Saddle Row so much why does she enve sells them clothes?

I actually hate how they´re all portrayed cause they´re feeding the stereotype that people into fashion are shallow and petty and the whole point of Rarity´s character was to subvert that!

I only laughed at one joke in the whole episode.

So yeah another terrible fluttershy episode to add to the pile

2/10

805 The real reason Rainbow flies so fast...to escape her gay for applejack thoughts.

So a perfectly okay episode.

In other seasons it would have gone unnoticed but in this one it stands out for having solid writing.

It was fun and rainbow was very likeable here since she honestly seemed more concern about the grannies than anything.

It feels a bit stretched out but this is normal for a pony episode.

I do hope she kicks Applejack's behind the second she came back to town though…

A fun Rainbow episode.

7/10

806 “Girls, while you wasted time trying to help that kid with divorced parents I acciBURPddentally destroyed a scared statue so we better run, you bastards!” then Twilight pulls a rick an actually leaves them behind =P

SO yeah a complete waste of time.

I understand the point but it doesn't work for me since it seems like they made the problem way too simple.

I also dislike the hippogriffs on principle since i find I them really lame characters so…

Oh and this episode has the WORST song in the entire show. Hell is not even a song, is just words with music behind it.

So yeah, pretty lame episode.

2/10

807 “See Twilight, Sunset would have just told me things straight to my face! Then try to stab me in the back but the point remains…”

I already talked about this back when it aired and yeah, my opinion hasn't changed.

This isn´t a Celestia episode, is another of Twilight´s poorly made panic attacks ones.

We learned absolutely nothing about Celestia, she learns nothing at all and we wasted twenty minutes of our lives.

For a fan of the character, waiting nine years for this is nothing but an insult.

The saddest thing is knowing that the show will end without having a proper celestia episode.

So yeah, a total waste of time with only the adorable sunbutt to save some face

4/10

808 “You noticed all the wanted posters for you on the way here, Starlight?”

“No, actually not”

“yeah me neither, good thing you´re friends with a princess…”

Really, how come Starlight is NOT a wanted criminal? The episode could have dealt with her hometown disowning her but nope, is just a kinda lame sitcom situation.

Hell, it would have been better if we´re told the parents hooked up and now Starlight and Sunburst feel all kind of awkard but nope.

i suppose there´s like a moral lesson in here but the episode was so dull I don't even remember it.

It could have been a better story but it amounts to nothing.

3/10

809 “And to think this all started over a parking lot…”

“you don´t even need the parking lot, Rainbow!”

THAT would have been a better premise…

So yeah, remember season 1? Cool ,cause this is the exact same episode. Nothing new added and nothing interesting happens.

Go watch the leaf episode instead, is way better.

3/10

810 “Wait, Big Mac has a what now? How come nopony told me? Do I look like a jealous sister or something?”

“the shotgun isn't helping, AJ…”

Have they really interacted these two? I mean, don´t want a repeat of the same storyline. Infact, showing that Applejack and Sugar whatever get along well will be an interesting episode.

Far more interesting than this for sure.

I was bored the entire time and shut up, sweetie Belle. You'll be lucky to have Snips…

Another time waster.

2/10

811 “Spike, can´t you just masturbate like a regular teenager? I mean you have your own room now so it won´t be weird for me anymore…”

Again, remember season 2? Go watch that instead.

It even made more sense back then but now spike not knowing “how to dragon” has become a huge plot hole cause there´s absolutely no reason for him not to know these things so this entire conflict is pointless.

Oh and him having wings is something I don't really like.

Explain how he didn't have those during season 2 when he grew, hasbro! ANother lame Spike episode to the bad spike episodes pile.

2/10

812 “Girls, you rather go to a school where you dont´do any homework, play games all day, het to eat delicious food..actually I´m leaving too, school closed!”

So yeah do they do anything at Twilight school other than waste time? No wonder the CMC want to go there! Wasting time is their entire MO nowadays since they have their marks!

Prety standard episode, is honestly just to introduce the villain.

The only really fun thing is the “your mom” bit, I would have approved her out of that alone.

It´s okay, sadly can´t say more.

6/10

813 “Evil clones, what was I thinking? Dinosaurs, that´s a proper supervillain plan!”

MEH I mean it´s an okay episode but when you get to it is just repeating stuff from the first discord episode, nothing new. nothing gained.

That should be the motto of this season.

MEH

6/10

814 “Discord, what part of go to hell don´t you get?”

“The part where you forgot to tell me to stay there”

This episode is horrible!

What´s the moral lesson, be an asshole and get away with everything?

WHy the hell does Starlight apologizes? Why is HER problem that Discord feels bad? The idiot should take it on Twilight and she ahs a perfect reason not to let him in the school..Discord is an asshole! As this episode demonstrated!

Can he just...leave, please?

Worst episode of the season.

1/10

815 “Twilight, shouldn't we invite Zecora one of these days?”

“You wanna explain Kwanzaa to the viewers, Rainbow?”

ZZZZZZZZZ

Oh what? Oh yeah this episode.

Look I get the point and being objective there's nothing wrong with this episode but my god, tiw as boring!

Just the same bit repeated over and over and over and over…

Whatever, technically there's nothing wrong with it but I didn't like it.

6/10

816 “So mono means one and rail menas...no wait, wrong scam. Calls dismissed!”

“Slow down bro, so who´s the princess of friendship then?”

“The one with the eyepatch!”

“BLAST!”

So...a perfectly normal episode.

Again, this show always suffers from not having a b plot going on so the conflict get  a bit stretched but as an episode, it was well done.

Hey snape is right that Friendship IS a weapon in this universe, glad someone finally mentioned it.

There´s actually a good moral lesson about how no matter if the lessons are good if the methods are fraudulent which coming from Hasbro is the ultimate irony.

Flim Flam are kinda overdone at this point but it still works.

7/10

817 “Remember that time you left me in the desert with pinkie?”

“Oh sure, everything looks bad when you remember it…”

Actually a pretty good episode.

I mean the premise relies on twilight´s students being borderline sociopaths (guys, is not that complex of an idea, friends can disagree on things) but the episode itself it was really fun and the Raridash wa adorable.

I honestly liked it.

8/10

818 “I mean we could have get you a teacher and encouraged to get better through a montage but insulting you and hurting your feelings seemed like a better idea, pinkie”

Way to handle a problem, girls!

What part of this is supportive” pinkie? Your friends were assholes to you that made you feel bad so you stop bothering them and then come looking for you because is a problem for THEM?

There´s a better lesson about admitting you may not have the talent for something, which is a lesson that kids DO need to learn but since the problem is solved with a “who cares?” the moral lesson doesnt´work and nobody really learns anything here.

Who approved of this crap?

2/10

819 “I say someone must have  said a funny because your mother is in stitches hahaha! I´ll leave you to your grief, Starlight.”

Finally a good episode!

Actually an excellent one. Coupled with a catchy song and really good dialogue, my man Haber can make a really good episode when he wants.

I have zero complains this was the best episode of the season.

10/10

820 “That´s it I´m taking you to your parents or in its defect your lesbian aunts that cannot be seen in the show due to television censorship policies!”

I´m sorry but cootalo was a brat the entire episode in need of a good spanking.

Rainbow did absolutely nothing wrong and that gid set gogin around here is full of lies.

If anything she was a bit rash over the fact that yeah, the little girl she sees a sister suddenly is throwing her away...again, cause she did it with the maredowell thing also. Funny they didn´t mention it, probably to appease the fandom.

As an episode is nothing bad, Rainbow actually comes out great here so yeah, Scootaloo, you're grounded..as in put in a hole in the ground.

Good episode

8/10

821 “All me friend are long dead…”

“Yeah yeah, lovely. Fill this form here, big guy…”

What's wrong with Twilight this episode? Why is she such an insensitive idiot?

It was pretty clear the obvious solution was just giving him a classroom with no walls and guess what, that´s what she does alter on so what gives?

And why are SPike and SMoulder allowed to burns the school every day?

An dhow come Rockhoof has no job in “modern equestria”? there used to be plenty of things wanting to eat the ponies every week, did they disappear in between seasons or what?

Really stupid episode that only works by everybody bieng assholes to an actually nice guy.

2/10

822 “Look at the bright side Rainbow. We got replaced by a new cast but at least we didn't die horrible on the movie like the transformers did…”

grumble grumble this is actually a really good episode.

I mean I could argue they have already dome similar stuff but it make sense here. The tree of harmony finally gets some light on it and this actually helps make the students look less lame by giving them character so...yeah, it´s actually really good.

Damnit.

9/10

823 “Oh shoot we forgot to invite them to the school!”

“It's okay, Twilight forgot to invite like half of the country as well…”

grumble grumble another really good episode!

I honestly though this episode was gonna suck but it turns out to be one of the best.

It´s obviously a previously unaired episode that they managed to shove into here but is actually a really good so I have zero complains about it.

The kirin is actually really cute and I liked the song so…

9/10

824 “So kid have you seen stuart little?”

“No.”

“Then this whole thing is gonna be new for you…”

So yeah...as an episode is okay but I´l argue that even the target audience could saw this coming a mile away.

My only real problem is that Spike barely apologizes to TWilight despite hurting her so much. Why is he such a brat? Twilight is nothing but a loving and supportive sister to him, look at that opening scene, si so lovely an touching!

Why does the show keep treating Twilight caring for her sibling and treating him like an equal as a bad thing? She even offers to let him go and learn more about his culture, she is supporting and loving why do they keep treating her like she´s doing a bad thing? and again kind of a big plothole nowdays  with dragons going around Equestria with no problems.

Other than that is a fine episode.

7/10

825-826 “Since we´re stuck here where the little filly´s room?”

“There is no little filly´s room in tartarus…”

“NOOOOOOO!”

Really, who built this prison Barry allen? Give them a bucket at least .

Again...actually really good episodes.

The action was good,the stakes were high, while that poor manticore shouldn't be there I still like the good detail than monsters have been kept her since past seasons and than the mane six honestly don´t hold a grudge against them, hope there´s an actual redemption arc down the line and they don't just forget about them like with the other villains,

Speaking of that, Cozy is probably the best vilian on the entire show.Hell, she´s better than Thanos cause she doesn't have an stupid justification, she just want s POWAAAAA! And she´s damn adorable and effective, she almost won.

Still They missed a chance to say that the missing magic was going to the human world to tie things up with Equestria girls for once and who the hell delivers letters to tartarus anyways?

The finally more than makes up and gives almost everyone a chance to shine so I like it. The mane six were treated with a LOT more respect than in the damn movie that's for sure.

Good solid episodes.

8/10

So that´s season 8, is not that bad honestly.. Had they had a better focus it would be better. Continuity is still a bit of a mess and just saying past stuff doesn't count but hey they´re trying.

Now I have like 40 Equestria Girls episodes to catch up though…

[gigageekmag]

Comic Book Review: Calico

CALICO ISSUE #1

Welcome back GiGa Community; as you all know, at fifteen years old, in 1992, I had an opportunity and pleasure of interning at Marvel Comics in Manhattan, New York; Spider-man office to be exact.  It was during that year that I had delved into the comic book industry, soaking it all in, down to my very fabric of my soul.  I loved all of the intellectual properties, their stories, and the craft; I knew I wanted Comics to be a part of my future life story.   I was a fan of some characters, and ambivalent to others, but never the less, just like family I loved them all (Some more than others of course); the environment moved my soul.  To this day, I still find being an artist to be one of my first loves, and comic books satisfied that yearning.  The culmination of efforts between a writer, penciler, inker, letterer, colorist, and editor was to me, an amalgamation of geniuses at work.  I love and respect the craft.

Sigma Comics

GiGa: GeekMagazine was contacted by Sigma Comics asking for an honest review of their newly released comic series, Calico.  I was unsure of who this new IP was that was entering the competitive arena, so I did superficial research, watched an interview, and a review; it seemed to be worth the read.   The first complimentary comic came and as busy as I am, I opened it and felt the cover art seemed acceptable for a comic book in 2021, but I didn’t have a peaceful undisturbed moment to read it, so I left it on my desk to be ready for the day I found a free opportunity to read it, then write a review.  My family and I left the house for a few hours, and when I returned I went straight to my office and hadn’t realized the comic was no longer on my desk.  A few seconds after I sat down, my daughter calls me, “Papi, look what Ivi did”!

Ivi Snow knew She really did it this time.

Ivi Snow is one of my two white German Shepherds, she is 1½ years old, so I am accustomed to finding “surprises” when we come back home; I thought it was poop again. A minute later my daughter comes to my office holding my complimentary issue of Calico in shreds.  Needless to say I was peeved and Ivi knew it. Then I remembered what the premise of the comic was.  “NYC HAS A NEW ANTI–HERO. Every day millions of animals are abused and killed. Animal rights groups and charities try to help, yet the savagery continues.”  Sigma Comics appears to be committed to fighting animal abuse. I laughed at the irony of this moment and took a picture of her with the destroyed comic, apparently, she enjoyed the comic.  I couldn’t read it, as a substantial part of the first few pages were now gone.  With that above picture attached to an email to Sigma comics, I humbly apologized and requested another review copy, I was willing to pay for it at this point, but the great people at Sigma found humor in the event as well and sent me another. When the next copy arrived I kept it in my safe this time, and that night when I was done with work, I read it before I went to bed.  I opened the cover and this time, I was able to really absorb the content.   I applauded the first impression, it was transparent in showing their allegiance to the cause, “American Humane”, as a parent to two German Shepherds, I was sold. 

The first page was gripping, showing an example of the atrocities committed upon animals and the visualization was almost too tough to bear, but I was roped in, I had to read on.  We get our first glimpse into the soul of our Anti-Hero on page two, with tears running from angry eyes, the penciler, inker, and colorist nailed the conviction this character was driven by, and we’re then introduced to Calico “A one-man arsenal of destruction in constant pursuit of justice for the smallest and weakest among us…” 

In his apartment he works his frustration on a double end bag, his thoughts speak poignant commentary as to the nature of life being nothing but conflict in every facet of existence and we see where his psychological state dwells; he’s scared and/or resentful of life and bitterly expresses this in his own twisted way.  The Boxing Gym advertisement on page 5 could easily be dismissed as fictitious until a little research clarified that it is indeed a real business; as an ex-fighter boxer, martial artist, and ex-body guard myself, I respected that blurring between fantasy and reality as it was perfectly in line with the tale that I was uploading to my brain.

The writer then takes the reader on a journey through the life of Calico, recalling childhood memories of being bullied.  This alludes to post traumatic damage; he hates bullies and had long since made the decision to suffer them no longer.  We next accompany the protagonist from his apartment to a local boxing gym where he trains and prepares for an upcoming tournament, and while there, he loses himself in the art of combat.  His thoughts become louder than spoken words; he’s a fighter with unfortunate luck, struggling skill, and lots of animosity.  Here is where the reader learns this character has no reservation about the thought of condemning the abuser to death and that animals were his only friends since his youth.

Page 8 we’re given a full frontal nude of the hero in the shower after leaving the gym, even in the shower he’s consumed by antipathy as conveyed by more flashbacks of the same bully from his youth; he’s never recovered from those years.  This memory was different, ironically, it was in this recollection where he was impressed by an alley-cat that scared off the bully and his dog, which serves as a perfect transition into revealing his super-hero outfit emblazoned with a black cat’s profile in front of what appears to be a moon.  He also has a flying robotic AI assistant named Bumble that is a metallic sphere with one camera eye. Then, we’re back to his childhood memories, this time he evokes the very first time he inflicted pain by punching that bully in the face before fleeing the scene.  Page 13 is where things escalate quickly, so I won’t spoil it for interested readers.

So here’s my honest review and rating:

Comic book Production:   I feel the writing could have been more impacting and/or expansive; a name would have been nice to have, but it served its purpose; The art is what communicated the story the most.  Lettering was great, the penciling and inking were acceptable as well, but gets a little hard to understand what’s happening during the murder scene.   

The Character: His real name is never revealed, but from how Calico was insultingly called a “Dominican York” translated from Spanish, he is likely Latino. I think the character is less anti-hero and more of a deranged, sociopathic, villain with post-traumatic stress. He’s fed a list of targets by an unknown accomplice, he intends to kill, (and/or violate) which to me is the modus operandi of a serial killer. I couldn’t see the word “Hero” being applicable to this guy in anyway.

The full frontal nude, to me, was unnecessary, but being a student at the Art Institute of Atlanta I’ve drawn male nudes before, so I respect the art, 100%.  That scene only became awkward after the second penis comment. Which helped me to get a better understanding  of the mind of the protagonist as portrayed and communicated by the writer. I think the outfit really is too similar to Black Panther.

As per the multiple male phallus related comments and insults, along with, what I found to be excessive homo-erotic language, it seemed in my humble opinion, as if there’s other unresolved issues besides being bullied that Calico has never addressed.   In one scene, I had to look at one scene under better light to understand that Calico actually violates or rapes his victim with a red hot pipe, all while making references to size; he says to his victim, “Relax! It’s only one-inch thick pipe. In penis size its only four-inch girth. You got this”.  the last unnecessary thing I read that really nailed the coffin shut for me was the statement, “F*** em. Hard. in the @ss. With no vaseline”.

Concept: I personally, don’t think the character could have longevity, and if so possibly as a novelty act; appropriate for an 8-Issue Series. He possibly may develop a fan base, but with a very niche market.  He is not a “Deadpool” type of anti-hero, I’d say this brooding character is damaged psychologically which easily could bleed over into villainy. I couldn’t see the Dark Knight tolerating this character, or working with him in any way, and would probably bring him to justice.  In comparison to other anti-heroes, such as Hulk, Ghost Rider, Blade, or the Punisher, I’d say even Frank Castle wouldn’t see his motivations, means, or ends as acceptable.  I see a more deviant sociopathic “Joker” kind of weirdness from Calico minus the smiles and laughing.

Conclusion:  It’s a comic book, it fits the criteria. I wasn’t left feeling like I want to read more, but I am only one man, with one opinion worth 2 cents.  I endeavor to say it could have been written for a broader appeal to a wider audience; for me, I feel the niche-aspect will leave some put off or uninterested.  But somehow, I’m sure this will pull the targeted audience it was meant for.  In the end, Sigma successfully this debut is a great accomplishment for the creators and production team and for that I salute and respect their creative vision, hard work, and love for the craft.  I’d give it 3 out 5 Stars ★★★☆☆ ~Jack~

Image Sources: > https://sigmacomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/sigma-comics-large.jpg > https://prnewswire2-a.akamaihd.net/p/1893751/sp/189375100/thumbnail/entry_id/1_gapzb7c1/def_height/800/def_width/520/version/100011/type/1

Comic Book Review: Calico was originally published on GIGA: GeekMagazine

[sleepyskunk]

Deconstructing the 2017 Movie Trailer Mashup

Why deconstructing a mashup? Because these videos are often perceived as a random mess of pretty images from movie trailers. While that’s absolutely true, there’s an opportunity to explore themes and also pay a few obscure tributes to elements that don’t belong in the video itself but that are generally widespread within pop culture. These montages have been going on for a few years now, and it’s hard to edit the footage in a way that won’t feel reminiscent of one of the many great retrospectives put out by other talented editors in years past. I have to say that trying to build a narrative with all that footage has now become more enticing to me than to highlight the moments that made the year in cinema within their proper context. Let’s get right into it, shall we?

Someone on Reddit commented: “starting off with GEOSTORM, that’s a bold move!” and it didn’t even cross my mind. The shot was exactly where I wanted to go right off the bat - a blend of childlike wonder and eerie caution reminiscent of earlier Tim Burton films. The track was composed for a television spot called “A Wonderful Day” from IT and it showcases major Danny Elfman influences. Thus, this was my small tribute to the Burton/Elfman collabs happening under snowfalls like EDWARD SCISSORHANDS or BATMAN RETURNS. I loved the contrast in dialogue from PERSONAL SHOPPER which was such an under-appreciated indie film this year. Every mashup has its horror section, but I am gently sneaking you in by the supernatural door this time around. It’s just innocent enough to deceive those who hate horror.

Childlike wonder flawlessly captured in one shot, from the lens of Matt Reeves. I can’t say I connect emotionally with his APES movies, but the quality control on every frame, CGI or otherwise, it pretty much above and beyond all industry standards. That facial expression is exactly what I needed, you can tell she’s not too sure whether she’s safe or not but without feeling properly scared either. This is like the part in the original POLTERGEIST where kitchen chairs are moving on their own and the family still thinks it’s kind of fun. Kind of.

KING ARTHUR is the best type of release when it comes to trailer mashups because 1) it had a fantasy undertone 2) it was tracking poorly and 3) it went way over budget. Big studios know months in advance if they have a major bomb on their hands, and they have two choices at that point: either stop spending a penny on it and dump it for a quick theatre run and VOD release (more common if the movie didn’t cost that much) or, like in this case, spend extra millions of dollars to sell the shit out of that movie on opening week-end before everyone realizes it’s bad. Those extra millions go towards CGI money shots like the one above, which is really meant to make the marketing more attractive and oh dear lord, did KING ARTHUR have some last minute money shots to offer or what? It was a joy to pick and choose from its nine trailers.

This is where I put my cards on the table, whimsy never happened and I am taking you all to creepytown. That shot from ANNABELLE: CREATION is one of the many that upstages the featured evil doll in that wonderful movie and the film’s cinematographer Maxime Alexandre reached out because he was happy so much of his work was featured. You never know in front of who your videos can end up and industry people are keen on celebrating the year in film, especially if their own works are included. This is just a top notch unsettling shot clearly inspired by THE SHINING (the girl’s dress and the way her arms look lifeless.) On a side note, I always manually add all sounds including that floor cracking. If anyone reading this is starting off editing mashups, I promise you one thing: using professional, isolated, studio-recorded sound effect packages such as BOOM library is much superior to the original trailer track (unless you get a clean sound within the trailer.)

Another random insight (if you’re interested in making your own movie mashups) is to try as much as possible to avoid that one marketing shot everyone recognizes. You can revisit a memorable moment but going straight to the most oversold shot of a film hurts you. While you’re eager to make everyone relive the most epic imagery of the year, some value gets lost when a studio bombarded the same shot over and over and you go for it. Two quick examples: Giant hologram JOI pointing at Ryan Gosling in BLADE RUNNER 2049. I wanted that moment, but the original side-scroller shot was so overused that I went with her from a closer angle (see video thumbnail). Another example is that uncomfortable sniffle from Daniel Kaluuya in GET OUT which I favored over the super overplayed mouth open crying paralyzed shot from every marketing piece. In both cases, I assume you know which shots I am referring to without having to show them. Trying the alternative makes us relive the moment without its obviousness. It gives that other shot they didn’t choose its moment to shine (and more often than not, it’s just as effective.)

Someone’s not getting much sleep. A CURE FOR WELLNESS is a gorgeous-looking film no matter what you think of its bizarre plot points. I spend much of the first segment flirting with the creative key points from IT. One I tried to play around with is the idea of Pennywise as a half-real/half-fiction monster, and how similar to Wes Craven’s A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET his realm of terror extends. A few winning concepts in both films: 1) He isn’t real but he can really hurt you so you have to stay on your guard at all times and 2) Only a select few have been cursed with having to deal with him, adding a psychological layer to an already spooky premise. Dane Dehaan looks like a kid from Derry, or Elm street if you prefer, whose mental focus seems affected by the fact that he saw something, and his friend saw him too. Meanwhile, I throw in a completely out of context quote from Vanessa Redgrave which ties in that mysterious “sickness” from Verbinski’s film.

A shot from PROFESSOR MARSTON AND THE WONDER WOMEN from a trailer edited by Kees van Dijkhuizen Jr. for Annapurna Pictures where he works as an in-house editor now. In 2015, I talked about Gen Ip’s storytelling approach and last year I praised Matt Shapiro’s famously epic crescendos, so this year, let’s talk about Kees a little bit because I find all their influences fascinating. My first observation is how far his much-adored Cinema series has taken him, and that one of the top production houses in the business (if not the top, sorry A24 and Fox Searchlight) hired him so he could bring his own distinct style onto their major features. The whole trailer mashup craze started off only a few years back and so many editors were recruited right off YouTube to turn their passion into a livelihood down in Los Angeles. I can think of at least six editors whose names you’d recognize and who are now living the dream, and I consider this to be really inspiring because none of them initially got into it thinking something like that was ever possible. (side note: I also moved to L.A. and was poached by a trailer house but prefer to keep things on the low-end until it’s been long enough. I wouldn’t want to jinx it.)

The second observation about Kees is how much influence he’s had on every mashup that gets uploaded on a daily basis every December (me included) - I will link his Cinema series below. Instead of pairing clips into a horror bit, an action bit, a laughing and dancing bit, a kissing and crying bit, Kees was always out to create new feelings and nothing ever seemed more important than proper flow. Many shots would pop-up that you would never expect thematically, images of moving objects like a breaking glass transitioned with a girl’s hair waving through the wind (also see the lie detector in the previous shot.) He would connect nature documentaries right along with major superhero blockbusters and the movements flowed so perfectly that nothing ever felt out of place, quite the contrary. He was the best shot curator we’ve ever seen, and the order in which he put them together was beyond logic and predictability. Imagine “One Perfect Shot” but with 275 perfect shots back-to-back. If you want a prime example of what I’m referring to (random objects and flow), check out 2:49 - 2:52 from his Cinema 2011 (links below). Kees set the bar so high that attempting an end-of-year mashup certainly felt foolish at times, but hoping to improve made the editing process all the more inspiring.

CINEMA 2008 | CINEMA 2009 | CINEMA 2010 | CINEMA 2011 | CINEMA 2012 

So apparently, they have the internet and flat-screen TV’s in RINGS but landline phones are still a thing. Quite frankly, I haven’t seen RINGS and I bet it’s aggressively ordinary, but how retro horror is that shot? Paired up with the voice of THE SNOWMAN saying “Mister Policeman” it’s a throwback to Nancy being terrorized by Freddy in the original Nightmare of Elm Street (minus the tongue.) I was also pleased with the aesthetic of HAPPY DEATH DAY, clearly the product of horror fans who grew up during the low-budget slasher craze of the early ‘80s. It’s got MY BLOODY VALENTINE written all over it (meanwhile their poster was paying homage to APRIL FOOL’S DAY.) Retro horror, in all its disturbing practical gore glory! Rick Baker, Tom Savini, how much we missed you in our modern times where only a few major productions have enough VFX money to escape the uncanny valley (and even then... *cough* JUSTICE LEAGUE.)

I always tend to edit right on tempo, which means switching shots at the exact moment the music beat tells you to. But over here, I thought this elevator drop from FLATLINERS looked so frenetic and out of control that I started it half a second before as if the beat couldn’t keep up! Like in cartoons when the car accelerates so fast that it takes off but their eyeballs are standing still for a little fraction. This whole mashup sequence is meant to be a little cartoony and tongue-in-cheek. To anyone who found this to be disturbing (and yes, I heard from a few viewers who said it was too much) I must admit that it wasn’t my intention. I won’t apologize for my work, people choose to watch if they want to or not. But if I really tried my best to scare the crap out of you, I can assure you THE LEGO NINJAGO MOVIE wouldn’t have made the cut.

Now channeling a CHILD’S PLAY vibe thanks to this retro television shot from the highly underrated BRIGSBY BEAR. A kids program works well as an element of fear because it’s supposed to be a safely protected zone of positivity and care, just like a doll or a clown for that matter. Once that turns on its head and begins to attack, you basically have nowhere else to hide. It also makes for great contrast, and Andy Muschietti must have had an absolute blast this year incorporating this component into his remake of IT. The bear costume was one of the many shots that wasn’t from a horror movie and yet I used to great effect in this section. I know there was a new CHILD’S PLAY movie this year but sadly, it didn’t hold a candle to the Hitchcockian original.

“At the end of the day, people are out for themselves.” That’s not true, and only people who are out for themselves could believe that. Because if you’re weighing low on the morality scale at some point in life, you still wanna go to bed thinking you’re a good person. So if you can’t justify what you did, the best logical next step is to convince yourself that human nature is to blame, that everyone else would have done the same as you. Ask people who were charged with insider trading on the stock market, they’ll always say “everybody was doing it.” I could refer to a certain World War to keep hammering that point but instead, I’d like to point out the interesting contrast between this and Part 3. I try to disprove that very statement by showing in the finale that everything we do that matters is for others, and others are the only thing that matters once everything else has come and gone.

The KING ARTHUR studio spending extra millions of dollars to sell the shit out of that movie on opening week-end before everyone realizes it’s bad money shot festival continues. EPIC! In fact, that shot is so gorgeous, you could place it anywhere in any mashup ever and it would probably work.

Having a bit of fun giving a more literal visual cue to IT’s “We all float down here” with Guillermo Del Toro’s hypnotically beautiful THE SHAPE OF WATER. However, it’s not the tudum tssshh, get it? movie connection that works here. It’s the underwater sound effect and the incredible sound mixing by trailer house Buddha Jones so that Georgie’s voice seems to come from the bottom of the ocean. This is likely the best sound work you’ll hear in the entire mashup, and I didn’t mix it, the editors behind that teaser trailer did. In fact, their work was so effective at scaring people that it earned twice the amount of views on YouTube than what Avengers: Infinity War received. A fact Kevin Feige will likely never admit.

That moment when you realize your manic pixie dream girl wears white socks! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I've used vulgarity in the past but not every year, depends whether it brings value. Some of you may remember “Game on, c***suckers” from KICK-ASS 2 in 2013 or “Nap time, motherf***ers” from COOTIES in 2015. Perhaps there’s another guilty pleasure at play here, however, which is that feeling of pure creative freedom. As mentioned earlier, not everyone digged the horror undertone of this year’s Part 1 and that’s okay because it went exactly where I wanted to go and no compromise was made. No client notes. No studio revisions. No censor beeper (which makes it worse because we seek to find out what the word was.) If you get into professional careers that are creative in nature, you’ll find that teamwork, compromise, and not taking anything personally are all essential components for success. But when the movie trailer mashup comes around, I report to no one. And that moment from THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING MISSOURI is one I wanted included as soon as the red band trailer came out.

This shot comes from a small movie you should seek out called MY NAME IS EMILY starring Evanna Lynch (aka Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter movies.) The film was directed by Simon Fitzmaurice who was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease (ALS) a few years ago, the debilitating disease for which the viral ice-bucket challenge was based on. He wrote the screenplay for this movie while his body was entirely paralyzed, and the only way he could communicate with the cast and crew while shooting the film was through eye gaze technology. There was a documentary following his brave journey that played Sundance called IT’S NOT YET DARK. Check it out if you need some real work ethic motivation and want to feel truly inspired about overcoming challenges. Much better than THE DISASTER ARTIST which is a spoof about a millionaire with no talent who mistreated the people who worked on his film. Okay, it’s still very entertaining and James Franco is hilarious but I don’t get a ‘never give up’ vibe from it, more like ‘maybe this isn’t for you.’

With the second segment, I was going for a British Gangster film vibe, hence the music cue Main Offender by The Hives. No movie captured that feeling better than Ben Wheatley’s FREE FIRE this year. I find the criminals in British movies are equally as clever in their quips as they are dangerous and often have the appearance of fair, well-behaved citizens until they have a reason to go mad. Jon Hamm’s performance in BABY DRIVER was also a textbook definition of that archetype, because all the build-up scenes where he acts friendly and discusses music with the titular character only bring an element of surprise at the end of his arc (spoilers: he’s not that nice in the end) I am aware that BABY DRIVER takes place in America but it’s directed by a Brit so it counts!

If Kubrick only knew his famous jump cut from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY that connects a flying bone to a space shuttle would lead to this fifty years later. What a shit show jump cuts have become! But they’re fun, and let’s be honest here: 7 minutes of serious quotes about life would get a little heavy. The way you edit jump cuts is the same way to solve a puzzle with over a thousand pieces. Extract dozens of short action clips onto your timeline and try to make them fit with one another over and over until you’re entertained. I mean, the music stays the same in the background, all I am doing here is deciding which projectile this pair of underpants from CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS will become. The answer was a tranquilizer from the underground mall chase sequence in Bong Joon-ho’s excellent OKJA. Maybe we should try one really long domino of jump cuts one day. Should take forever to edit, but how much fun would it be?

Did you know that Academy Award winner Alicia Vikander was a professional ballet dancer before she started acting? Work ethic applies in everything you do. When you hear about successful actors, you often discover people who are world-class at delivering under pressure and dedicating themselves to their craft with an insane amount of work. Acting is hard and yet so many people think they can do it, which makes it even harder. At least ballet puts constraints right off the bat, you need flexibility and a specific body frame. Part 3 is about finding your passion AND putting in the work. Just finding your passion is hard! It’s not always the bottomless pit one could hope for, especially when it becomes a real job with hours upon hours of work. Many people don’t even know what their passion is, they know what they’re good at but don’t love it. “Without your passion, it’s very hard to find our place in the world.” I don’t think you need your income to come from your passion in order to find said place, but I wish everyone that many of the limited hours they have each day goes towards their passion, and not towards something that feels like a waste of time. Wanting to wake up has everything to do with what happens after your first cup of coffee. Put your time towards something meaningful to you, even if it’s only on evenings and week-ends and you’ll never make a penny from it. If you love animals, volunteer at a shelter. If you love to travel, just GO!

But what happens when your family conflicts with your passion? Would you leave them behind to pursue your dreams? We all remember the tragic scene from DEAD POETS SOCIETY where a young scholar gets forced by his father to become a doctor instead of his passion and commits suicide. And then we have this year’s COCO, Pixar’s big comeback, where music is prohibited in Miguel’s family but it’s all he dreams about. But that conundrum doesn’t even have to be confrontational in nature. What if you wanted to work in a low-paying field like online journalism because it’s what you love but your single parent (who always took care of you) became sick and needed you to take care of their treatment. What happens then? What comes first? I humbly try to answer that later in the segment, of course.

We always told you Daniel Radcliffe... you’re special. That’s why you have a scar on your forehead that looks like a bolt... Just kidding, poor guy. I look at Mark Hamill in THE LAST JEDI and keep thinking that if studios are still a private enterprise in 40 years, some new Harry Potter movie will come out in which an old bearded Radcliffe will be teaching at Hogwarts. (PS: he keeps making bold choices, so much so that I am willing to watch anything he’s in.)

A man’s reach... (or woman, btw) should exceed his/her grasp. Words from a poem by Robert Browning, suggesting that, to achieve anything worthwhile, a person should attempt even those things that may turn out to be impossible. The downside with attempting the impossible is two-fold, however. 1) You may spend your life trying and never succeed. 2) If you do get there after so much sacrifice and effort, the world will expect you to do it again, or to keep doing it at the same level or better. If you won a Gold medal at the last Olympics, what are the expectations for the upcoming Olympics? That’s where passions and dreams enter a darker road, one many people choose to avoid altogether. But whatever happens, it’s worth the risk as long as you have the one thing along the way that’s a hundred times more important. And that thing is...

...people who love each other! Look at this guy, he just figured it out!

Kate Mara in MEGAN LEAVEY really seems to be the one thinking out loud in this shot while we hear a quote from THEIR FINEST. I had a blast with the Freddy Krueger references earlier but this is my favorite part. Audiomachine make the best tracks to bring that crescendo to its proper peak. You can say this part of the mashup is more in my comfort zone. And the influences from Kees that I discussed earlier can be felt here. Some shots of objects and landscapes that aren’t thematically connected but keep a nice flow. I also handpicked the best cinematography of the year all at once here. MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS was a damn pretty movie, then SHAPE OF WATER, then THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS, then OKJA. Every shot looks like a million bucks. Notice the use of paper, letters and ink. I want to see you again, a character from EVERYTHING EVERYTHING writes on a sheet.

Family comes first is nice, but along with family comes conflict and distance at times. Things we said that we regret. Times we let each other down, or weren’t there when we needed to. All the papers dropping from the bridge, all the shots that refer to letter writing, that’s where I was going with that. Not always obvious because it moves so damn fast which is why I do this deconstruction blog post every year!

The final big lift from Disney’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST! Also, the first frame I added onto my AVID timeline. This is how I organize my work basically. I pick the right songs, then I identify the exact moments in that song where a big moment should happen - if you use trailer music, it will be crystal clear what those are. And then I try money shots in each of these spots over and over until one really, really fits. Then, I ask myself how did we get here, how can I get to that point? And build around these big moments. The second shot I added into the mashup was the little girl in Part 1 under the bed who points to another version of herself sleeping in her bed and says “Shhh! That’s not me.” I put that in right when the music stopped, it became a big moment, and then I built around it in order to get there. Every editor works differently, but I am just sharing how I personally prefer to do it. Back in 2012, the first clip I added onto the timeline was “I have an army. We have a Hulk.” from THE AVENGERS which means I’ve been editing this way for five straight years.

Those letters of reaching out to people you care about. Apologies or wondering how they’re doing. Flying everywhere around Winston Churchill (that’s my dog’s name, he’s a Pembroke Welsh Corgi!) I guess you should always be the one to reach out in difficult situations with important people. The mistake is to not reach out, or convince yourself that they were dragging you down and you’re better off without them. That’s rarely the case, and you’ll never get over them when you know that’s not the case. Maybe they will reply someday, maybe they never will. But you swallowed your ego and you decided to give it one more shot. That’s the bravest thing we can do in this life, and I hope you’ll see it that way if the time comes. Happy New Year! Achieve your passions, take care of the ones you love and make it a wonderful day! (Halle Berry: “Aaaarrh!")

- Sleepy Skunk

[yourdailykitsch]

TEXAS FOREVER Taylor Kitsch Is Not Game for a ‘Friday Night Lights’ Revival But the hunk formerly known as Riggins is having the time of his life breaking bad, first as a terrorist in ‘American Assassin’ and next as cult leader David Koresh in ‘Waco.’ Before he gave his best blue steel modeling for Abercrombie & Fitch, and before he rose to stardom as the brooding, hunky Tim Riggins on NBC’s Friday Night Lights, Taylor Kitsch took his fair share of hits. He—along with his two older brothers—were raised by their mother in a trailer park in his native Canada after their father deserted the family when Kitsch was one, and a devastating knee injury during his teenage years dashed his dreams of hockey stardom. Years later, after the modeling gigs dried up in New York, he found himself homeless, spending his nights sleeping in subway cars and sneaking into gyms to shower; after moving to L.A. to try his hand personal training, he spent four months living out of a tiny hatchback, with one of its windows replaced by a clear plastic sheet covered in duct tape. “Any time you can go through life and get hit or knocked down, it should help,” he says. “The journey of getting here was a pretty darn good test, and I’m still being tested each and every day.” Kitsch’s latest test comes in American Assassin, with the 36-year-old actor playing his first onscreen villain. He is Ghost, a shadowy international terrorist attempting to get his hands on a nuclear weapon in order to exact revenge on the U.S. We later learn that he was a former black ops agent who was left for dead overseas by his boss Stan Hurley (Michael Keaton), an ex-Navy SEAL who specializes in asymmetric warfare. Ghost serves as a foil to Mitch Rapp (Dylan O’Brien), a young man who, after losing his fiancée during a terrorist attack in Spain, attempts to single-handedly penetrate a terror cell and kill those responsible—only to then be recruited by the deputy director of the CIA (Sanaa Lathan) and trained by Hurley to kill for the red, white and blue. “I loved it,” Kitsch says of breaking bad. “I hope to do it a lot more, to be honest with you. It’s nice to create this guy and have free rein to make him how you saw. It strays away from ‘cliché’ bad guys. He is an American, it’s an attack that’s beyond personal for him, and on a certain level you kind of understand him—which I loved.” Assassin is gloriously over the top, and nobody seems to be having more fun than Kitsch and Keaton, who appear to be playing their own personal game of Who’s More Grizzled? In what is without question the film’s finest sequence, Kitsch removes his shirt to reveal the spoils of war before brutally torturing Keaton, yanking off his fingernails one at a time. “I got nine more! I like this!” Keaton barks back. The cinematic implication of a scarred villain torturing the two-time Caped Crusader was not lost on Kitsch. “I definitely saw it,” he chuckles. “You know you’re in good hands going to bat with Keaton, and the work he’s been doing of late has been just terrific. It was a big part of me signing on, and driving a scene like that with him was a lot of fun.” With a title like American Assassin and a truly bonkers normal-guy-hunts-terrorists premise, many feared that the film would succumb to crass jingoism at a time when a hawkish strongman with an itchy Twitter finger has the U.S. on the perpetual brink of global war. But Kitsch insists it’s “not just violence for the sake of violence” and far from fetishizes combat. “We show you the worst, most unglorified part of being an assassin,” he says. “Obviously it’s fictional, but you see the trauma that Dylan O’Brien’s character goes through personally, and you see the trauma that being in war brings. We take you down the worst part of that. It’s not like Bond, where you’re going, I want to be Bond! Nobody’s going, I want to be Mitch Rapp—this tortured, psychologically scarred young man out for vengeance.” With roles like Ghost, Bruce Niles in The Normal Heart, and the closeted Paul Woodrugh on True Detective, Kitsch has seemingly weathered the blockbuster storms of John Carter and Battleship and returned to his character actor roots. Just don’t expect to see him in a revival of Friday Night Lights. “I think there are still rumblings about that,” he says, laughing. “Pete [Berg] knows the answer loud and clear. We’re having dinner tonight, and even at dinner, I think he would more or less joke about it than ever be like, ‘Hey, let’s go back ten years and relive this moment that ended perfectly.’ You know, there’s just no point.” “Earlier on, even if you wanna start with Riggins, I was told, ‘He’s going to last just one season,’ and ‘you’re not a priority,’ so I’ve always been drawn to these character-driven guys,” he continues. “Bang Bang Club was an incredible story and still something that I’m very proud of. Then you take these big swings with winners like [Andrew] Stanton at Pixar and Pete [Berg] with Battleship, then you go into a Murphy [in Lone Survivor] that was a beautiful tribute to these guys. I feel incredibly happy with the work I’ve done—not just making the most of them, but staying scared and keeping myself off-kilter.” In that vein, Kitsch will next embark on perhaps his most difficult role yet: portraying David Koresh in Waco, a miniseries about the Waco siege set to premiere on the Paramount Network early next year. The show’s all-star cast includes Michael Shannon, Melissa Benoist, Andrea Riseborough, John Leguizamo, and Rory Culkin, and will run over six one-hour episodes. But Kitsch will be front and center as the charismatic cult leader of the Branch Davidians. And it sounds like he’s done his homework. “I met the nine guys that survived the last siege. After I read [survivor] David Thibodeau’s A Place Called Waco several times I got in touch with him and hung out with him a lot, and then spent a lot of time learning what Koresh believed in,” shares Kitsch. “Singing and learning guitar took up a lot of my time too, as did losing about twenty-five to thirty pounds to play him. I listened to hundreds of hours of Koresh phone conversations with the FBI, with the ATF, with child protective services, with his mom to watching sermons and videos of him growing up. It’s really the key to anybody—the past, and how he grew up.” He adds, “I will say that it’s going to bleed a lot of truth into what actually happened. What the media gave people at the time was incredibly one-sided, and they wouldn’t let the Davidians talk to the press or release anything. They’ve still withheld a lot of these FBI tapes. We’re going to shed light on what actually happened.”

[thestoryweneededtowrite]

Hey!! Could you maybe write a bit for the Sprace ghost hunters AU where Jack (and maybe Crutch or Davey) pranks them and scares them maybe?? I just thought it be kind of a funny idea!

I have missed this AU!

If there was one thing Jack Kelly never did by halves it waspranks. But Davey had threatened to break up with him if he pulled anymorepranks on him so he was forced to pick other targets for the coming April Fool’sDay. Spot and Race just seemed perfect.

He was recording the whole thing – if this went to plan itwould be comedy gold for YouTube – and he’d organised the it down to an exactscience. It had all started with recon, getting Race to reveal where and when theynext planned to film a video during a casual Skype chat, then came perfecting aflawless ghost costume, all scarlet blood and white pancake makeup. By the timehe was done Davey had walked in on it three times and had almost as many heartattacks, and it was time to get it out of the apartment before his boyfriend actuallydid go through with that break up threat.

The abandoned barn was as creepy and dark as all hell so, inshort, it was perfect for what Jack in mind. Race had said something about afreak farm machinery accident that had resulted in the brutal death of a workerwho was rumoured to haunt the premises. Jack could have believed it, walking aroundthe deserted space. Donning the costume he’d made, he wriggled into the spacecreated by a pallet leaning against the wall to wait.

It was half an hour until he finally heard footsteps.Peeking out he watched as Race and Spot set out their usual EMF equipment. He recognisedit all from the times he’d collabed on videos with them. After they’d filmed anintroduction, he knew it was time to start phase one. Pulling out his phone, hepressed play on a recording of old, clunking farm equipment, letting it soundout for several seconds. The two boys looked up fast.

“Spot, what was that?” Race asked, laughing nervously likehe was trying to pretend it hadn’t spooked him.

“Nothing. It’s always nothing,” Spot sighed, brushing itoff. No matter how terrifying the noises were, there was always a realisticexplanation. “But-” Race tried. The entire area was abandoned. There wasn’t any active farmequipment for miles around.

“No, Race,” Spot promised, moving over to check a camera. Itwas nothing.

Jack was stifling giggles: this was working better than he’dever suspected it would. Time for phase two.

Making sure to wait until Race and Spot were facing theother way, Jack ran the length of the barn, heading for another area of coverhe’d scouted before. It worked perfectly, with both of them catching sight of amovement of white out of the corner of their eyes.

“Okay,” Race breathed, “that time you had to…”

He trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud because hedidn’t actually believe in the supernatural. Still, he shuffled closer to Spotand took his hand. Jack, from his reduced vantage point behind a rustedtractor, couldn’t see the subtle movement.

“Yeah,” Spot forced, squeezing Race’s fingers reassuringly.

“Maybe we should…”

Race took a step towards the broken panel that had beentheir way in. He wasn’t one to run away, but there was unmistakably somethingin the barn with them and if it wasn’t a ghost, it was a person – which couldbe even more dangerous.

“No, we always stay,” Spot said decisively.

This was their first video back on the job after Race’s leghad properly healed and he’d missed making them. They’d had enough spare filmfmaterial to cobble together a couple of bloopers videos and a half-forgottenextra episode they’d filmed at a previous location so no one really complained,and their audience was understanding enough that they’d been more sympatheticthan let down about the whole injury thing. But they were ready for that to endand to get back to normal. With a forced smile, Spot nudged Race gently to gethim back on track for filming.

A creak, nothing to do with Jack this time, echoed throughthe barn and suddenly Race was back at Spot’s side, grabbing his arm.“Spot… I love you. You know that, right” he said, attempting a calm whisper butsucceeding only at a wavering, slightly desperate plea. “I love you too,” Spot managed, still unused to the sounds. “But we’re going tobe fine.”

He sounded almost convinced but the fact he was even sayingthe words proved he was a little terrified.

Jack was listening on in shock. They sounded entirely seriousand he was stunned – his friends were in love? Since when? Forgetting about theprank entirely, he stepped out from behind the tractor and gawped at them. Eventhough he didn’t mean to scare them anymore, the costume still had its originalintended effect and the ghostly pale skin and glistening blood had the barnfilled with a long second of screams.

“Fucking-” Spot managed, clutching his heart. He’d never beenso spooked at a location, but then again he’d never had a corporeal form jumpout on him. Because ghosts weren’t real but, unfortunately, Jack was. And itwas obvious that it was Jack after a second look. He was just standing there, blinkingat the two people he’d have thought least likely to get together; he hadn’teven known Spot was interested in men.

“Jack, you’re a moron. I don’t think I tell you that enough,”Race groaned, stepping away from Spot now there was proof nothing genuinely badwas happening. Still, his pulse was racing from the adrenaline spark.

“You two are together?” Jack asked, confused.

“Look…” Spot sighed, angry. But Jack cut in again before hecould explain anything.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said, clearly hurt. He’d havebeen nothing but supportive. Queer folks had to stick together, that’s what healways understood. He and Race had talked about guys before, way in the past, andSpot most definitely hadn’t come up as a potential interest.

Crossing his arms and standing his ground, Spot shot back. “Youscare us half to death and think to have the right to ask us questions?”

“I thought we were friends,” Jack shrugged.

“Yeah. Were,” Race glared, emphasising the past tense. “Wejust didn’t… This isn’t official. It’s not a thing, not really. We’re just…”

It was official in everything but name, really, but Racewasn’t going to get into that. This was only the second time they’d said theL-word and so far it had taken a gash to Race’s leg and thinking they werepotentially going to die in order to drag it out of them. But that didn’t meanthe feelings weren’t there, just that they went unspoken the majority of thetime – and that was what they were comfortable with.

“In love,” Jack said, filling in the gap when it becameevident Race wasn’t going to.

“No,” Spot growled, and Race couldn’t say it didn’t hurt alittle.

“You just said-” Jack countered, gesturing randomly as ifthat would help them understand what he meant.

“No,” Spot pushed.He wasn’t talking about this now. Or ever. “Jack, leave it. You shouldn’t evenbe here.”

Jack winced. That was a fair point. “April Fools?” he tried,managing half a smile and a wince.“God you’re an ass,” Race groaned. What had they done to deserve this. “First,none of this goes online, am I understood?” He waited for Jack’s enthusiastic nodbefore continuing. “And yeah, Spot and I are… There’s a thing. Happening. Butthat’s all we want to say and you’re not going to tell anyone, yes?”“Yeah,” Jack agreed without complaint. “I am… I’m sorry.”

Spot wasn’t even making eye contact but when Race elbowedhim not-too-lightly in the ribs he turned to Jack and forced a nod. At leastJack was the only person who knew, so if anything got out they knew exactly whoto blame.

[timeflies1007-blog]

Doctor Who Reviews from a Female Doctor, Season 3, p. 3

Please note: these reviews contain spoilers for multiple seasons of the reboot, and occasional references to events from the classic series.

Blink: This is an extraordinarily good story, possibly the best individual plotline of any Who episode. I wouldn’t consider it the best episode of all time, as some do, because the focus on single-episode characters prevents it from having the kind of emotional impact that we get in episodes centered on the Doctor and companion. Still, it’s a thrilling story about the sheer possibilities—both exhilarating and terrifying—that are attached to the presence of time travel. Like many of Moffat’s scripts, there is an extraordinarily large number of pieces to the story, but watching them fit together is never burdensome and is consistently delightful, thanks in part to the introduction of a captivating new monster. Most of the attention given to this episode has been devoted to the Angels themselves, who are indeed extraordinarily creepy villains. The quantum-locked statues are great in themselves, and even better in the effect that they have on other characters. Having to avoid blinking in order to ward off attack is a perfect horror-story rule, and the prospect of being suddenly sent back to a different time is convincingly terrifying. The gradual advancement of the Angels, who get closer and scarier every time someone looks away, is wonderfully directed—there’s something marvelously frightening about seeing their before and after pose but not seeing them actually move.

To me, though, the spookiest pieces of the episode don’t involve the Angels themselves but rather the fragments of writing and speech that help Sally to piece the plot together. The literal writing on the wall that opens the episode is fabulously creepy, and the DVD Easter eggs are even better. The Doctor’s efforts to bring about his own rescue through these Easter eggs, sparking lots of analysis in internet forums, is an appropriately nerdy premise for the show, and I love the bits of those forum discussions that we hear about from Larry. He’s a pretty underwritten character, but I can’t dislike anyone who puts “The Angels have the phone box” on a T-shirt. Sally’s initial “conversation” with the Doctor is already fascinating in terms of how the dialogue lines up, but when she watches it again, says different things, and the Doctor’s lines still work in response, it’s pretty mind-blowing, so lots of credit to Moffat for figuring out how to make that work. The whole concept of the Doctor reading from a transcript of a conversation that he’s still having is both a brilliant piece of plotting and an interesting opportunity to think about how free will fits into the idea of time travel. Sally is clearly making choices throughout the episode, and yet everything is unfolding according to the script that the Doctor put together based on Sally’s own notes—the time travel dimension pretty much makes sense of everything, but it’s still a tremendous shakeup of how we usually envision cause and effect.

The characters themselves generally work pretty well. Sally’s relationship with Larry is never convincingly developed—and, really, neither is Larry himself—but she’s a vibrant and engaging presence, aided by the abilities of a not-yet-famous Carey Mulligan. She has more than enough charisma to carry an episode that features very little David Tennant, and while she’s smart and capable, the script avoids making her into an implausibly good character. She’s fun and adventurous, but also a bit pretentious—particularly in her observation that sadness is “happiness for deep people”—and she has a sort of self-serving tendency to push other people into her dangerous adventures. It’s difficult to tell how much of the character’s charm stems from the writing, and how much is just Mulligan’s impeccable screen presence, but whatever the reason, Sally is one of the show’s most memorable single-episode characters. The Doctor makes the most of his small amount of screen time: “Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey” is rightfully one of the most famous lines of the reboot, and I also enjoy his flurried reference to the need to deal with “four things and a lizard.” I don’t like that even in an episode that has very little Doctor and even less Martha, we still have time for how uncomfortable their relationship is. He practically shoves her out of the shot when she tries to be in the video, and I don’t really understand why she is supporting him. (It’s the 1960s, she’s a black woman, he’s a white man. Even if he got the exact same job that she did, he would probably get paid twice as much. And yet, the implication is that she is working and he is not. Why?) Their relationship is pretty typical of what it is in much of the rest of the season, but it’s still annoying. Otherwise, though, the Doctor manages to be likeable and impressively memorable, in spite of the lack of screentime.

It’s hard to tell whether we should see this as a magnificent little island of an episode, or as an important harbinger of things to come. While it introduces monsters who will return in later seasons, it’s also a perfectly contained little narrative. However, it also feels like a statement of arrival, more so than either of Moffat’s previous episodes (even if I did like his Season One two-parter a bit better.) His contributions to Season One and (sort of) to Season Two showed him to be a strong writer, but this episode gives us a clearer sense of the kind of writer that he is. I don’t say this because it’s a fairly plot-driven episode, as I think the notion that Moffat made the show more plot-focused is almost completely unfounded, but the intricacy of this story is a good indication of just how much attention Moffat demands from his audience. We’ve still got plenty of the Davies era left to go, but this episode is an early indication that eventually, we’re going to get six full seasons in which a necessary component of understanding the further adventures of the Doctor and company is going to involve keeping your eyes wide open like your life depended on it. A

Utopia: The string of good episodes continues as the Doctor, Martha, and Jack find themselves at the end of the universe. It’s a terrifying place, and probably the most interesting non-Earth planet that Davies develops. The Futurekind are scary in themselves, but the dark world with barely anything left in it is even scarier. Even in this cold, bleak place, though, there is still hope for a better world, and we can see brief moments of warmth between the humans as they wait for Utopia. The emotional investment that this creates for these humans makes their eventual fate even sadder, and their doomed hopes for a new world are really beautifully portrayed here.

For the most part, Davies does an astonishing job of blending a thrilling plot with some lovely character work. The one downside to this episode is that it doesn’t always serve its female characters very well, especially since Jack’s curiosity about Rose means that this episode gives us an extra helping of Morose Martha. I’m not sure what’s more annoying: Jack’s assertion that the Doctor doesn’t abandon his blonde companions (Martha, annoyed: “Oh, she’s blonde!”) or the camera repeatedly cutting back to Martha looking bitter while The Doctor and Jack talk about what happened to Rose. It’s not that I blame Martha, who is responding reasonably to the Doctor’s behavior, but having more than one reference to the stupid Martha-vs.-Rose dynamic in a single episode is too much. Chantho is mostly used as an end-of-the-universe equivalent to Martha, as the script goes out of its way to point out that “Look! Professor Yana has a woman quietly pining away for him, just like the Doctor!” She and Martha then strike up a cute friendship, though, so the episode mostly emerges from the boring treatment of women that we get at the start.

Other than inadvertently heightening Martha’s resentment toward Rose, Jack makes a triumphant return here. (So does the Doctor’s severed hand, which Davies does a wonderful job of weaving into the plot of Tennant’s entire time on the show.) He’s just as charming and fun as he was in the first season, and we get a wonderful discussion between him and the Doctor regarding the Doctor’s abandonment of him after the defeat of the Daleks. It’s such a brief moment in “The Parting of Ways” that it would be easy to gloss over it, so I appreciate that the episode takes the time to describe Jack’s experience and to let him confront the Doctor about what he did. The Doctor’s excuse—that Jack is a fixed point in time, and therefore goes against the Doctor’s Time Lord gut instincts—is understandable, but not really sufficient to excuse the Doctor’s decision to just leave him behind. Jack isn’t particularly bitter here, though; he’s honest about what he’s gone through, but he’s still kindly disposed toward the Doctor and (of course) somewhat flirtatious toward him. Tennant and Barrowman have excellent chemistry, and the scene gracefully and effortlessly conveys their extremely complicated relationship.

The highlight of the episode, though, is Derek Jacobi’s portrayal of Professor Yana/The Master. I wish there was time for him to be in more than one episode, but he’s brilliant here, both as the kind, self-sacrificing professor and as the newly-aware Time Lord. His interactions with the Doctor and with Martha are marvelously done, and the growing awareness of his real identity is just superbly plotted. The drumming in his head is not always well-handled in future episodes, but Jacobi plays this element of his character with a great deal of sensitivity. The big reveal is an especially fabulous moment: the watch, the drumbeats, and the various other bits of the story slot together perfectly, and culminate in a terrific showdown between the Doctor and the new regeneration of the Master. Chantho’s scared but determined resistance gives us a great final moment for Jacobi’s Master, and Simm’s performance is an immediately enjoyable piece of ham. The final scene, in which the Master takes over the TARDIS, leaving the Doctor and company trapped at the end of the universe, is a stunning cliffhanger.

The episode’s conclusion is so excitingly plotted that it’s easy to miss some of the quieter, more philosophical work that Davies does with the Master here. We never quite get a clear sense of what the relationship is between a Time Lord’s actual personality and the human created by the watch; the Doctor tells Joan that he is capable of all that John Smith was, but there are also pretty clear differences between the two. The watch certainly does quite a lot of rewriting, but it doesn’t seem to create a completely new personality, which means that there are at least some similarities between Yana and the Master. It’s a fascinating thought, as until his memories return, Yana is kind and self-sacrificing. It’s a bit odd to me that Tennant doesn’t refer to this in the next episode, but for purposes of this episode, I like the subtlety with which Davies sets up the possibility that the Master might have quite a lot of goodness inside him. (This wouldn’t have been the intention at the time, but it also provides a nice bit of setup for the Twelfth Doctor’s later confidence that Missy can be redeemed.)

This episode sometimes gets overlooked a bit because of the flashier ones that preceded and follow it, but I really do think this is a sensational story. It’s fast-paced and scary, we get to explore an eerie new place, Jack Harkness is back, and the Master gets a great new incarnation. There are a couple of scenes that annoy me, but of the three parts of the season finale, I would say this one is my favorite. A/A-

The Sound of Drums: This episode is already starting to show how much Davies is straining to pull the plot arc together, but it’s such an exuberant episode that it’s easy to overlook the problems for now. A lot happens in this episode, which necessitates a certain amount of rushing; this is apparent from the opening scene, in which the previous episode’s cliffhanger (The Doctor, Martha, and Jack are trapped at the end of the universe without the TARDIS!!) is easily resolved by Jack having a time travel device that will transport all three of them. The Jones family would also have benefited from a bit more screentime here—what happens to them is shocking, but we aren’t given enough of the intriguing situation of Tish working for the Master, or of their reaction to their eventual capture. We really needed to get a clearer sense of how the Archangel Network functions, or possibly just a different sense, as I’m pretty sure it just changes completely between this episode and the next. When the story does invest sufficient time and detail into its narrative elements, though, it’s tremendously fun.

           Simm is charmingly evil here, and Davies’s script allows the Master to have a wonderful time taking over the world and messing with the Doctor’s mind. There are moments of extremely dark humor, such as his nonchalant murder of the entire cabinet with poisonous gas and his casual efforts to close the door on Vivien’s death screams. He has excellent chemistry with Tennant, particularly in the beautifully acted phone call, and it’s surprisingly delightful to see him watch The Teletubbies. He gets even more fun as he begins his strategy of cheerfully irritating the American president—a strategy that includes sitting down and pulling out some jelly babies. I love that in the midst of plotting world domination, he made the time to think “I’m going to bring the Doctor’s favorite snack to my glorious victory.” By the end of the episode, he is joyfully welcoming the Toclafane to the strains of “Voodoo Child,” and it’s just such an astonishing moment of silliness that it’s a perfect return for the Master. John Simm got stuck with some odd writing on this show, some of which shows up in the next episode and quite a lot of which appears in “The End of Time,” but this episode proves that when he is given good material, he’s an absolutely stellar Master. It helps that he has to spend much of the episode reining himself in just a little bit in order to plausibly function as prime minister, so that when he breaks into a much broader persona toward the end it really feels like a rise in energy and doesn’t seem like overkill. The constant drumbeat that he hears, which was approached with considerable nuance in the last episode, has turned into a cartoonish version of insanity; still, the episode makes no effort to pass this off as a realistic portrayal of mental illness, so it doesn’t really bother me. The scenery-chewing madness goes too far when he returns in “The End of Time,” but for this season, Simm does a good job of depicting an intentionally silly persona.

           Our main characters’ fugitive status lets them stay near the main action but also separate from it, which gives us lots of time to just watch them talk to each other and react to the situation. Their conversation about the Master is one of my favorite scenes of the whole season—the Doctor’s description of the treatment of Time Lord children is beautifully written and performed, and there is a wonderful sense of sympathy between the three characters here. The Doctor ends the scene by distributing perception filters, which I always love—there’s something about the ability to make yourself unseen without actually being invisible that I find absolutely thrilling every time it’s introduced on the show. Granted, the Doctor then goes a long way toward undoing the scene’s positive energy by explaining that perception filters are like fancying someone who doesn’t notice you, making me immensely aggravated that his thoughtlessness toward Martha is now being treated as a joke. Still, there’s a nice moment between Martha and Jack as they realize that they’re both in the same position in terms of their feelings toward the Doctor. Martha gets quite a lot of good material in this episode; I especially love that she gets to be in the driver’s seat for the car chase, and while I think her family is itself underwritten, her concern for them is portrayed very well.

           The Doctor’s relationship with the Master is the heart of the episode, and Tennant really sells his conflicted feelings of wanting to protect the world from the Master while also wanting to protect the one Time Lord he didn’t destroy. I don’t really understand the choice to avoid any mention of his own experiences as a human; the Doctor tries so hard, at first, to find a scrap of empathy in the Master that you would think “I went through the same experience of becoming human and forgetting my real identity for a while” would be a good approach. Nonetheless, his relationship with the Master is intriguing throughout the episode, and his determination to save the man who was once his friend seems incredibly heartfelt in spite of the Master’s over-the-top evil. I spend so much of the episode focusing on the Master and his interactions with the Doctor that the actual plot events fade a bit in comparison, but there are some good things here, especially the reveal that the Master has turned the TARDIS into a paradox machine. The Toclafane aren’t very interesting aliens until you find out who they are in the next episode, but they’re certainly a major threat and they give the Master an opportunity to really put on a show. The whole business with aging the Doctor doesn’t work very well and is an awfully random thing to do, but it’s the only real false note marring an otherwise sensational ending. The Toclafane have landed, the Master is dancing, and Martha is off to save the world on her own—not a bad cliffhanger to take us into the finale. A/A-

The Last of the Time Lords: I can get past plot holes. An episode full of them might not be my very favorite, but they don’t necessarily prevent me from enjoying the story. The worst kind of plot holes, though, are the kind that make the characters look idiotic, and we get an avalanche of those here. First, we have the Master, who comes across as so unbelievably stupid that I cease to see him as a meaningful antagonist. I get that he’s insane, and sort of a pantomime villain, but in the previous episode he at least looked like he had a sizeable streak of brilliance as well. In this episode, he’s got spies everywhere and a huge amount of leverage over people whose families he’s kidnapped, and yet he can’t manage to find out a plan at least some of which is known to most of the Earth’s population. Martha has spread the strategy of believing really hard in the Doctor during the countdown to what seems like millions, so the notion that the Master wouldn’t have caught on to this and would still be believing in the multi-colored gun plan just isn’t plausible. (I can sort of imagine him dismissing the plan, because he doesn’t believe in the power of human goodness in the way that the Doctor does, but I can’t imagine him just not figuring it out at all.)

           Martha herself comes across as incredibly courageous here, but the nature of the plan just doesn’t allow her to shine in the way that I want her to. I would actually have preferred it if the plot twist had been close to the reverse of what occurs at the end. If Martha had let the Master believe that she was going around spreading the Gospel of the Doctor like a good little companion as a cover to hide the fact that she was using her scientific knowledge to help turn the Archangel Network against him, that would have been amazing, and not really difficult to believe. As a medical student, she’s had practice in trying to figure out what’s wrong with other people. (Just ask the patient, said the snotty, ill-fated teacher in Martha’s first episode.) She knows how to figure out the use of complex machinery by quickly consulting the manual, as we also learned in that same episode. She has very precise knowledge of the human body, as we can see in her precise account of the bones of the hand in her conversation with Joan. I can imagine an episode in which Martha traveled the Earth, pretending to spread the news of the Doctor’s magnificence but also making observations and asking questions about how the Archangel Network made people feel, consulting the network’s manual, figuring out exactly how the mind control works and how it could be redirected, and using that to surprise the Master at the end of the episode. Then we wouldn’t have needed floaty Jesus Doctor, there would at least be sort of a reason for the Master being flummoxed, and the whole season of Martha being reduced to an unrequited love plot would at least have a great resolution; I would genuinely be less mad at scenes like the “Rose would know” moment in “The Shakespeare Code” if we were moving toward a finale in which Martha completely subverted the expectations created by her feelings for the Doctor. Instead, she just goes around talking about what a magical, wonderful, sparkly unicorn the Doctor is, omitting all of the darker elements of his nature and treating him like an absolutely perfect hero. It’s a nice continuation of the idea of the power of words, as set up in “The Shakespeare Code,” but it would be a lot more meaningful if there wasn’t a lingering sense that she’s using her words to hide elements of the Doctor as often as to reveal the truth about him.

           And then there is the Doctor himself. (I was really uncomfortable with the Doctor’s behavior in this episode, but was uncertain about why until I read the AV Club’s review, which makes a lot of the same points as what follows.) It’s bad enough that he spends much of the episode as Dobby the Elf/Gollum/whatever other fantasy creature you want to compare him to here. David Tennant’s odd, joyful presence is most of what makes this character work, so when he’s absent for much of the episode, it is sad. However, his return is constructed in such a way that it winds up being more aggravating than spending much of an episode without him. The Doctor has gone through an awfully dark period. He was in so angry and grief-stricken a place in the Christmas special after the loss of Rose that he killed off an entire species and would have accidentally drowned himself (as we learn next season) if Donna hadn’t stopped him. He was so infuriated at the end of “The Family of Blood” that he basically condemned four beings to eternal torment. He’s been so morose about Rose that he has mistreated Martha basically for the entirety of the season. He’s just had a couple of experiences that might be eye-opening to him: he’s had to hear about his abandonment of Jack Harkness from Jack’s perspective, and he’s gotten a reminder of the immense darkness in the one remaining Time Lord, one who was once his friend. He’s also seen the bleakness of the end of the universe, which might serve as a humbling reminder of his inability to actually fix everything. (The reveal that the Toclafane are humans is a pretty good moment of darkness, although the erasure of everything that they actually do in this episode does diminish this a bit.) The Doctor, until the Archangel Network nonsense happens, seems like someone who becoming aware of and at least starting to hold himself a little bit accountable for the problematic aspects of his behavior. There are a lot of ways to deal with this: there is something to be said for giving the Doctor a genuine crisis of conscience, and also something to be said for having him come to a partial realization of his own flaws and continuing to develop it more subtly over time. What you shouldn’t do, basically the one thing you definitely SHOULD NOT do in this scenario, is resolve your major seasonal arc by comparing this character to Jesus. Avoiding that should pretty much be your top priority. And yet, not only does the mass of strangers treat him like a Christ figure, he completely leans in to the comparison. His arms aren’t quite high enough to constitute an imitation of Jesus on the cross, but the position is close enough that the suggestion is there. When he starts floating around with his hands outstretched, looking like someone doing an almost-crucifixion pose on an invisible motorized scooter, smiling beatifically and extending his magnanimous forgiveness to the Master, it’s not just that it looks silly. (It does look silly, but the show’s made that work plenty of times.) It’s not even just that the Archangel Network, which appeared to be coded signals that used the four successive beats as a form of mind control in the previous episode, has now somehow become sentient enough to understand the words of people all over the world and to de-age him as a result; the Doctor claiming that he’s been attuning his mind to the network does nowhere near enough to make sense of this, but I could mostly overlook this if everything else was all right here. The main problem is that the Doctor has chosen to embrace his smug, morally superior side, at the expense of every bit of character development that has been in the works this season. He even suggests that humanity’s willingness to have absolute faith in him here, basically just on Martha’s word, is evidence of the greatness of our species, and I’m not sure that he’s ever had a more arrogant moment on this show.

           It’s not that I want everyone to turn on the Doctor and hate him for the few flaws that trouble a generally wonderful personality. Forgiveness and redemption are important elements of this show, but in order for them to be have the kind of impact that they should, there needs to be a sense that they are bestowed or achieved from a position of knowledge of what has gone wrong. The people who Tinkerbell him back to looking like David Tennant know very little of the Doctor’s problems—I certainly don’t get the sense that Martha is giving them the full version of his story. The Doctor has had a lot of time in this episode to reflect on his own failings, but he concludes that reflection here through being redeemed by the faith of people who believe in him because they’ve been given the sugarcoated version of his story, and it’s just such an empty conclusion to the work of the season that it’s an incredibly disappointing moment. Having the whole world express their belief in the Doctor as the embodiment of the ideals that he’s been failing to live up to all season could be an interesting moment if the Doctor was at least aware of the dissonance, but he seems to buy into his own myth so thoroughly that the episode essentially erases everything the season has done to complicate his character. There are plenty of moments in this reboot in which the Doctor behaves in problematic ways, but usually these are individual moments, and he redeems himself fairly quickly afterward. There are, therefore, plenty of times when I don’t like what the Doctor is doing, but I generally still really like him as a character. This is the one moment in which I sort of question where I stand toward the character as a whole; he just seems so utterly oblivious of his own flaws and so self-indulgent that I’m not sure about whether he’s a character I can admire.

           He does win me back quite quickly, as Tennant does a beautiful job of portraying the Doctor’s grief over the death of the Master. Lucy Saxon’s murder of her husband would be a better moment if the episode hadn’t done so much to telegraph that something was going to go wrong with her; her behavior early in the episode shows her to be just barely holding herself back from snapping, so it’s not much of a surprise when it happens. Otherwise, though, the death and funeral pyre of the Master are sublimely done, and I’m so sad for the Doctor as he cradles his dying rival that I can almost forget how annoying he has been in this episode. I do wish that he had saved a little bit of that grief for his separation from Martha, which he accepts with irritating equanimity. It’s a fantastic moment for her, as she decides to walk out for her own emotional health, and actually gets to leave the TARDIS on her own terms instead of the usual story of being forced out by disaster. Given that the Doctor nearly lost his mind after being separated from Rose and even Joan, it’s a little sad that he doesn’t have a bit more of a reaction to the departure of a woman who has just spent a year (an erased year, but a year nonetheless) traveling the Earth to help him. It’s still a good scene for her, and, in general, the episode’s last few minutes work much better than the nonsense that preceded them. Even with some really good moments, though, an episode in which the Master looks like an absolute moron, Martha saves the world but in a dull, clichéd fashion, and the Doctor loses all sense of perspective is not a satisfying end to the season. C+/C

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Movie Frenzy: Nine movies to watch at home this weekend

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Movie Frenzy: Nine movies to watch at home this weekend

I REMEMBER racing through the doors of the Video Ezy at Kogarah on a Saturday night as a kid, running over to the new releases and praying to the movie gods that there would be just one copy of Waterworld left.

There was not. I was devastated. I was devastated again when I finally watched Waterworld later on but that’s a different story. Heading down to the video store and grabbing an overnight new release for $6.95 or five weeklies for $8 was something we did every other week.

With video shops gone the way of cheque books, most people are turning to streaming platforms like Netflix or Stan for their at-home movie fix. Yet how often do you hear the person sitting next to you whinge about how this-and-that isn’t on Stan or how they scrolled through Netflix for half an hour and still didn’t find a movie they wanted to watch.

Renting or downloading digital copies of movies or TV shows used to be quite popular but has fallen out of favour since streaming took over. According to Screen Australia figures, in 2014, 41 per cent of us downloaded things from iTunes, BigPond and the like. Last year, that number fell to 14 per cent.

So all the home entertainment distributors in Australia have teamed up to remind viewers that they still exist with a new promotion, Movie Frenzy. They’re all slashing rental prices on loads of titles to as low as $0.99 (which definitely beats the old overnight video price) this weekend.

Movie Frenzy is running on pretty much any digital platform where you can rent movies on demand, including iTunes, BigPond Movies, Fetch, Foxtel, Google Play, Microsoft Films and TV and the PlayStation Store across your smart TV, computer, smartphone, Xbox, PlayStation, Apple TV, Telstra TV, Fetch TV, Foxtel iQ2 and iQ3, Chromecast and tablets.

So there really is no excuse to illegally download any movies this weekend (which really is just so 2012, you dag). Now’s your chance to catch those movies you missed at the cinema but isn’t yet available on pay TV or streaming.

And there’s no chance of missing that last copy on the shelf. You don’t even have to get off your couch.

If you want to laugh non-stop…

GAME NIGHT — $2.99

What a total surprise Game Night turned out to be — a hilarious comedy that uses its impressive cast’s charisma and flair and pummels you with endless jokes. The story centres on a group of friends whose weekly game night quickly descends into chaos when real-life gangsters bang the door down and kidnap one of them. What’s real and what’s part of the “game” is what everyone has to figure out.

Rachel McAdams’ warmth and zest is a perfect match for the more sardonic spirit of Jason Bateman, her on-screen husband. They’re such a good scene partners it’s a wonder no one has put them together before. And you know what else, even if you’ve already watched Game Night, play it again, it’s even better on repeat viewings.

If you want to fall in love…

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME — $1.99

You’ll fall in love twice in Call Me By Your Name, a tender, sensual and emotionally charged story set in 1983. The first time you swoon is over the gorgeous surroundings of the Italian countryside and the second time is with Elio and Oliver’s romance when the latter triggers Elio’s sexual awakening.

So many coming-of-age stories deal with the transition between childhood and adulthood, when everything that happens doesn’t seem quite real, and Call Me By Your Name definitely has a languorous, dreamlike quality. But few films handle it with as much grace and humanity as this one and the viewer is as transformed by the experience as the characters.

If you want a good cry…

COCO — $0.99

We all know by now that Pixar is run by sadistic monsters who love nothing more than to make adults blubber — the ugly, snotty, red-nosed kind — and Coco is no exception. So get those tissues ready. At least in the privacy of your own home, you won’t be embarrassing yourself in public.

Set in Mexico, it follows the journey of an aspiring 12-year-old musician named Miguel into the underworld on the Day of the Dead, in search of someone he thinks is his ancestor. Coco is a beautiful and emotional story about the importance of family and legacy. And because it is Pixar, it’s wildly imaginative and colourful animation with soundtrack that will move you.

If you have a dry sense of humour…

ISLE OF DOGS — $1.99

In the dystopian future city of Megasaki, the cat-loving Mayor Kobayashi has enacted a dastardly plan to ban all dogs from the city, thanks to an infestation of dog flu and snout fever. One plucky young man flies to the island to rescue his pet Spots with the aid of a ragtag band of canine companions.

Returning to the stop-motion animation technique he embraced so enthusiastically with Fantastic Mr. Fox, the exacting Wes Anderson’s latest film is thematically more sophisticated with a touch of added drollness and nods to Akira Kurosawa. You should expect nothing less than perfectly composed shots and, really, only the symmetry-obsessed Anderson could make a garbage island look so mesmerising.

If you want a fun, family adventure…

JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE — $2.99

Here’s a shocker: Hollywood made a sequel to a movie from 22 years ago, trying to cash in on nostalgia. But the real shocker is that Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is actually entertaining, throwing together four comedic actors with great screen presence — Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Jack Black, Karen Gillan and Kevin Hart — in a movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

This time, the kids are sucked into the game and they take on adult-sized avatars in a jungle video game. The movie is well-paced, it’s tense when it needs to be and silly when it can get away with it. It’s not a masterpiece but sometimes all you need is a good laugh and a bit of family-friendly fun.

If you’re nostalgic for your teenage years…

LADY BIRD — $2.99

Lady Bird is a funny and authentic coming-of-age movie that nabbed five Oscar nominations, including two for its writer/director Greta Gerwig. It follows the final year of high school of Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson, an opinionated and self-assured teenager as she navigates boyfriends, friendships and her prickly relationship with her no-nonsense mother.

It’s easily one of the best movies of the year, thanks to its sophistication of tone and rhythm and superlative performances from Saoirse Ronan and Laurie Metcalf, as it flows from one perfect beat to the next. Lady Bird is a deeply personal and deeply human with a fresh perspective that you won’t be able to resist.

If you’re looking to be scared out of your wits…

A QUIET PLACE — $2.99

In a universe in which aliens with the most amazing hearing have invaded the Earth, if you make a sound, you’re monster meat. The Abbott family live in a secluded house in the woods and live their lives with one mission — to make as little noise as possible.

With its chilling premise, heart-thumping execution and deeper anxieties about parenthood and family, A Quiet Place is sure to join the pantheon of great horror films, just like Get Out before it. It’s a masterstroke of suspense, thrills and storytelling, and it’s done with almost no dialogue.

If you love meaty dialogue…

MOLLY’S GAME — $2.99

No one writes a speech quite like Aaron Sorkin, the man behind The West Wing, so when he turns his talents to directing as well, you know you’re in for something good. Sorkin’s dialogue in the hands of the right actors is like a symphony, it has a rhythm that knows exactly which movement should come next. For this, Jessica Chastain and Idris Elba are perfectly cast.

Based on the memoirs of a real-life “poker princess”, Molly Bloom, Molly’s Game is the story of how a champion skier ended up running the most prestigious poker games in Los Angeles and New York, frequented by movie stars, business titans and mobsters.

If you’re looking for something cheesy…

RANDOM ENCOUNTERS — $2.99

OK, I’m not really recommending this movie per se, because I haven’t seen more than the trailer and it looks like the kind of midday movie you’d flick past post haste. But a sizeable portion of the world seems to be completely obsessed with Meghan Markle’s every step and her diehard fans are probably already onto their fourth rewatch of Suits, this little “gem” might be what you’re looking for — if anything, it’s probably good for some unintentional laughs.

But you should be warned that in this straight-to-digital rom-com about two down-on-their-luck Hollywood types in a disastrous meet-cute, Markle isn’t even one of the leads — she plays the best friend.

Share your movies and TV obsessions with @wenleima on Twitter.

Source: https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/movies/movie-frenzy-nine-movies-to-watch-at-home-this-weekend/news-story/117eb56507542a7c29fbbe41b75c1e0c